#i cannot for the life of me remember if i posted this already or not

[novannon]

Lonely.

I never ever felt this lonely before... Why in discord? That place was basically joy.

Sure i got it then all the sudden my life became hell, but i had friends there right?

...Not really many. we just talk then they leave. Sunny and Rei didn't really talk to me much either even though i spent my time with them.

The only ones i could really trust were Cara , Leaf, Akito Sophia and Azalea honestly....oh and my momma of course!!

When i was banned from that thing of a community , i felt empty.

..or so i thought.

On that time, i was working on what'd be happening with Kamizaka agency

After i was ungrounded, I luckily gave Cara Azalea, mom and Leaf my Tumblr, and i guess we could talk there. Also Sophia already had my Tumblr so I'll talk to her about wanting to kiss girls there ahahahdjwakcnm.. women

"I heard about Au roleplay blogs! It'd be cool to make one of that detective au of Project Sekai that ive been working on." I thought. And that was a good idea!

Tomiho was the first one i saw honestly, then we interacted.

It actually got people interested - I'm skipping the part with the flower princess an au because that thing was deleted.

I got in another friend disbanding so i thought about it then I made the Superhero Au.

"hehe, if i post this funny thing about An shapeshifting into Akito, I'll probably use this thing more." I did that,

"Can i make an akito account lol" ...That wasnt the exact message but, it made me surprised.

Someone was actually interested? I decided to let them.

...It grew.

And I made Hypnosis sekai out of a stupid idea...

Then Crimson came. I was excited to actually... Have people interested in my ideas.

Everything grew and came so quickly to the point of new year.

We all have may just known each other for months besides Azalea, Cara and Leaf but....

Im thankful.

The funny moments in the superhero au, the canaries in the hypnosekai au, the coffee stuff in Kamizaka...

They made me happy.

Was it cause it wasn't just some random friend break up? Drama? Vent? I didnt know how to feel.

..And this is where my message to you all comes.

Thank you, @rad-fire @starfrill (idk man i got braindead remembering ur user) @internetxstarz @crime-soncloud @ithappenedonroute66 @reazelf411 @the-depths-of-the-coral-sea @enanannnnn @mycutiemelody @phiaiso , I sadly cannot tag everyone here because they might not wanna get tagged but... This is also for the ones who weren't tagged.

Thank you for everything you've done for me... And I wanna give that all back to you! You all are amazing people. I thought i was never gonna feel at peace again. But i found out that many people in this community actually cared and wanted to see more of what I do, and I absolutely feel the same! I wanna do everything that is there with all of you. Please talk to me if you need anything and once again,

Thank you. :)

[golden-astrum]

rin and len are looking a little different here

[teddybeartoji]

toji coming home from work late at night and finding you and the kids sleeping in your shared bed. you've got little megumi to your left and tsumiki to your right, their bodies curling into you as they use you as their pillow. drool dribbles from the corner of gumi's lips as he lets out the faintest snores and miki's hair is all over her face and you look awfully stiff under them, your arms probably dead and numb from the position. but he knows you would never really complain, you'd never push the kids away.

toji takes a moment to stare at the three of you. safe and sound. he burns the image into his head so he can cherish it forever before rushing to brush is teeth and to change into something more comfortable – he can't wait to see megumi scrunch his nose as toji wishes him goodnight with a little boop and he can't wait to see the small pout tsumiki will wear when he adjusts her body into a better position. he can't wait to hear the hushed call of his name when you realize he's back home, he can't wait for you to reach for him in the dark.

home.

[not-the-living-ghost]

Begging someone to draw Monty as Conan Gray's Kid Krow album cover

[clegfly]

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Okay I’ve been posting too much silly Puter stuff lately. Party’s over people

[adamsc0rpse]

Is this anything

[expired-lemonade]

father!!!

[insipid-drivel]

Friendship and relationships are hard, I'm lonely and can't be loved by anyone, so here's some hard realities and wisdom from someone who's going to die sad and alone inevitably:

Many of you have got to try to put some effort in nurturing your relationships with your friends, or at least more clearly negotiate what your friends can and can't expect from you in the long-term.

Seriously, this whole 0-contact-aside-from-reacting-through-each-other's notes and proclaiming you're ride-or-die about someone for it? Is literally killing me. I've actually been dealing with suicidality because of how impossible it is to stay in touch with, or even on good terms with, people I thought were my friends but ghosted me, and then acted bewildered when I was angry with them for it or didn't acknowledge them as my friend anymore. "You can't be mad at me for not answering your DMs for 7 years! We're friends! I still reblog your reblogs!"

I am absolutely allowed to be angry, and I absolutely can demote you in my mind from "person I thought was a friend" to "mutual that ignores me until they need a dopamine fix or an answer to a specific question".

Months or years of unprompted, unbroken silence is not friendship - acquaintenceship, sure, but not friendship. It's a bad friend that expects love and loyalty by default no matter how long they've been ghosting their friends.

Love and loyalty are like a garden: they require cultivating and a commitment to nurture and grow, or else it gradually withers, and eventually dies. Earning the love and loyalty of a friend and then abandoning the garden of that relationship is how you find yourself locked out of your former friend's garden, or find them lonely, miserable, and exhausted from trying to keep the garden thriving when they themselves have slowly been dying inside because you haven't come back to the garden in years.

You have to learn to reach out and nurture your relationships. If you're autistic or otherwise have problems socializing, there are still some skills that you need to learn to avoid being isolated and friendless at the end of the day. Being autistic with trouble socializing is not an excuse to treat people you call your friends or that you claim to love like hobbies you can leave and come back to whenever you feel like - I learned this the hard way as an autistic person with shit social skills.

You have to negotiate what a friend can expect from you if you're an Outside Cat Friend that only drops in when you have specific reasons to reach out. It can be heartbreaking being the friend left waiting for a reply or a text without knowing the friend you're waiting for is an Outside Cat Friend.

Unless you have already agreed with your friend(s) that it's okay to ghost each other for extensive periods, spontaneously dropping out of contact with someone you've convinced is a good friend to you is really shitty and makes you a shitty friend.

"But I don't have the energy to reach out." Tell them.

"I have a lot going on and don't have time to talk." FUCKING TELL THEM.

"I haven't had anything to talk about." THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.

"I've been too anxious to reach out." SAY THAT. JUST SAY THAT.

"I need a break from social contact for a while, so I don't wanna talk at all really." SAY THAT BEFORE YOU JUST DROP OFF THE END OF THE EARTH.

I've been the Reaching-Out Friend for most of my life, and in the past 5-10 years especially, I haven't been finding a whole lot of strength left to keep tending abandoned gardens that are thriving in name only. I've gotten fed up with self-professed friends that say they love me or view me as a sibling, but ultimately prove themselves to be bystanders when it's my turn to need someone to lean on and help me look after the garden.

Yes, there are absolutely friends you can have that can go years without hearing from you and still pick up where you left off when you do meet up again. They're awesome and worth keeping just as much as any other friends are.

There are also those friends that silently grieve your absence, that reach out to no avail, and wind up leaving the garden to die entirely after salting the soil with their own tears. Those are the friends that you've taken too much from without giving enough of yourself in return, and you've used them up and thrown them away without realizing you've treated someone that cared about you like a tool.

"I'm not the kind of friend that reaches out first."

That's your choice. No matter how you dress it up, when you decide it's time to neglect a friend, you're choosing to neglect them if they aren't prepared for what to expect from a friendship with you. You have the right to do that whenever you want to, but you cannot expect a warm reception with every person you do it to every time you do it. You cannot anticipate full amnesty in advance without full disclosure in advance.

If you're currently thinking of someone you've left sitting on read for a long time right now? It might be time to break your pattern and reach out for once.

Fall together, not apart.

[rabbithaver]

every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !

[glitzybunny]

Assorted Magma Doodle Part 3! Old-ish edition

I feel like the red works a lot better than the old orange I used here, though I really like orange hehehehehhe

[devilmeows]

drew anathema for their birthday a few days ago :)

[navramanan]

So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again

[through-fire-and-flame]

[ from x with @swordluck ]

Laurentius curses under his breath, then reprimands himself inwardly for cursing in front of Anri, then follows that up with another silent scolding for assuming anyone that capable with a sword would be offended by a muttered swear. The crash of the second firebomb against her shield pulls him out of his head long enough to crouch low behind her, using her raised shield to keep himself covered as well.

It wouldn't do, getting hit by one of those artificial flames. No pyromancer worth his mud would let themselves get burned that way.

He finds a moment in between one of the volleys to return - quite literally, and with some enthusiasm - fire. The sphere arcs up and over the battlement, and two of the bastards go down for a second time, thrashing their way over the rampart and out of sight.

By the time Laurentius and Anri have neared the next bonfire, he's already got a flame up and flung toward the crossbowman menacing them from the other rampart. His aim is quite good, and saves Anri the trouble of having to buff out a dent on her shield from the impact of a crossbow bolt later.

He still flinches a bit each time he conjures fire, certain that she was going to reveal an aversion to heresy that had heretofore survived his previous displays. But no - whatever Astora had instilled in Anri, it wasn't a strict adherence to dogma, that was for certain. Or maybe it had, and pragmatism had won out regardless.

Or maybe she just likes you, Laurentius, mutters some sullen little part of his conscience.

"Wish the hollows knew how to stay still," he grumbles. "Half the trouble for us and them, you'd think."

Ahead is a small bonfire - a waypoint between the bridge up from Firelink and the way toward the Parish. It isn't their final destination, and Laurentius is loath to tempt fate any further; he's already had a knight in shining armor show up to save him, and thus he considers his luck for the time being expended.

But she's already suffered through some desperate horror on her part for his sake, and kept him safe besides. She ought to make the call.

"Here - there's the bonfire there, and then a short trip to Firelink. Want to take a rest or press on, Miss Anri?"

[buttercuparry]

In less than two months it will be October 7th again.

In less than two months, it will be a year of genocide. 

In light of this, I just have only one request for you; please do not give into whatever you are describing as “compassion fatigue” right now.

Realize that this is exactly what the colonizers conducting this genocide want you to feel. Realize that apathy during a genocide is what leads to the normalization of atrocities. Realize that this is a tried and tested method found throughout history; that now when the genocide is been widely documented by Gazans themselves- the only way the colonizers can get away with it is by running you down and making you feel hopeless!

They want you to stop caring about their victims and this is why you need to fight harder now more than ever!!

I request you to fight harder for every Gazan! And therefore request you to fight for my friend Siraj Abudayeh too, whose family recently faced another assault. His parents and siblings had to flee to him for protection, because their areas ( Hamad, southern Khan Younis) were marked for assault from occupation forces. With the number of people depending on him increased now, Siraj has a much heavier responsibility on his shoulders to raise enough funds to support all of them and their needs, when prices of food water and other essentials are already skyrocketing.

With the coming of the rainy season, there comes the danger of epidemics spreading from open sewers as well! Siraj’s son Amir has already fallen ill, and his other two sons are showing symptoms too- they are in dire need of medical treatment! I cannot overstate how badly Siraj and his family need these funds!! How badly he needs your continuous support.

There has been a significant drop in engagement with fundraising posts and I very clearly remember, someone tagging one of my posts with compassion fatigue. It shocked me to my core to think that the cries of Free Palestine could fade so suddenly; that after only a year some of you have begun to feel fatigued, from having to care about this.

Do not give in please; do not let the colonizers make you complicit in this horror! They know that if they can overwhelm you enough, then one day the videos and posts would stop hitting as hard and sooner or later everyone will stop talking about Palestine. This cannot happen again! Not when your attention can literally save a life! This is the power you hold- especially if you are living in the Imperial core. The colonizers are afraid of it. You have to know this and believe this!

So please do not turn away and help Siraj get to 50k as soon as possible!

He is currently only at $45,044 / $82,000 CAD

[ GFM LINK ]

[ Vetting at 219 on Hussein's spreadsheet]

And if you are having trouble donating to Siraj's fundraiser through Paypal, please get in touch with @malcriada .

[softness-and-shattering]

Like. Cis men generally speaking need to learn to chill about gender, and we as people as a whole need to make it safe for everyone to step out of the rigidities, to not mock men who cry or wear nail polish or wear a flower in their hair or cede authority to a woman, erase this whole idea, this terror of exclusion for being a man wrong. Cause it's not just self-imposed it's societally imposed.

And that being said, trans guys are trans, are already doing the gender+, don't need to stretch their comfort because they've been there. (Yes some guys do transition into toxic masculinity as a way of trying to fit in, and thats not great. And no gender is inherently good or bad or toxic or healthy. Gender is neutral.) And everyone is allowed to present and express and be themselves however that best fits. If that means being super butch, hairy, muscley, guzzle protein powder and red meat and spend all your time in the gym and at work and playing video games with beer and your bros, then that's your way of being a person, congratulations. No one should make you feel bad for that. None of those things make you sexist, or an asshole, or a bad person. They're neutral. Wear a fedora, as long as you're a mentsh and a gentleman you're absolutely fine.

There is pressure to be feminine and its bullshit when it's directed at us, at minimum. For people for whom femininity is wonderful and freeing, my trans sisters, my cis friends, anyone I've left out who wants to be included, good for you, I'm so glad youve found a way to be that feels like breathing easy. Super genuinely. Just remember femininity on its own is neutral, and on some of us it's all wrong altogether. Happy to pick up whatever masculinity you didn't want, I've got all the tools to shape it how I like, make it real soft and comfy. Gender swap :)

And its not one or the other, it can be, and it can also be a soup of all kinds of ingredients. Like a soup buffet table we can take whatever we want, and so can everyone else, as long as we're all making our own decisions and not pressuring anyone to try things they don't want.

It's perfectly fine to be uncomfortable with femininity if you had it forced upon you as a trans person btw. Some of us will never be comfortable wearing makeup, having long hair, wearing skirts or being called "girl" and it's not only perfectly ok, it adds to the beautiful rainbow of diversity that is queerness.

It's not toxic masculinity if it's gendered trauma from having been a trans person in a cissexist society all your life — and besides, the whole point of transitioning is figuring out who you are and what brings you joy! You don't need to repent for your personal discomfort with femininity. You don't need to force yourself into another box that doesn't feel right. I spent 27 long years trying to do just that & guess what, it didn't work!

There are plenty of flamboyant gay men out there who wear earrings and heels but hate women. Feminism isn't what's in your closet or in your face and misogyny isn't a type of gender expression either. Don't let people make you feel that way. Here's your free license to do whatever you want forever.

[plumgummy]

and they were roommates