#i cannot for the life of me remember if i posted this already or not
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Howdy Eerna frequent reader, first time asker here.
I have weathered so many bad finales in my life and yet Arcane has me completely debauched. As a rule I dont comment on fandom things unless they bring me joy, but this season has me out here stopping myself from breaking into peoples posts with rants.
Most of my feelings have been better said already, however I haven't seen people talking about how the fights are actually ass in the last arc. Literally the shows bread and butter is soured by the lack of stakes.
The first arc had the Jinx/Sevika team up, the second at least the shock of Warwick's prison break in. The finale's battles are so lack luster i cant remember any of their beats. Well except for Jayce/Viktor photobombing the family reunion. I showed that to my partner without context and it only made me realize it isnt any better with it.
Things dont flow, they lack logical consistency. Cait get stabbed with Ambessa's lil fist knife and then does a whole fight fine. However that same knife I guess is infused with anti-Ambessa magic cause it kills her (I actually cannot remember if that's what happened, I was so bored and I refuse to check).
Even Ekkos last charge was interesting for a moment due to finally using the time powers but it didnt really feel like... anything. Like he gave Jayce mental time with Viktor but, like how would he know that was what would happen??? Jayce looked super duper out of it and if the mindmeld was the plan all along then why did our hammer man wait till the top of the tower and how Ekko even know that cause he was with Jinx and aajhhhh
I need to not think about this show any more help 😭
Hello hello welcome~ So sorry you got so wrecked by this finale :((( I feel you though, it is on my MIND and it needs to be PURGED OUT!!!
It is a different type of fights for sure, focused more on Big War rather than anything else... I liked them (except the Ambessa-Cait-Mel one, you're so right, what was that) but I can totally understand why someone wouldn't. I just really like final wars. But yeah the Ekko final blow didn't really make a lot of sense, I was just cheering because my boy was gonna be the hero (and then everyone ignored him WOW OK). I too prefer not to think about it. Let us all not think about it!!!
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rin and len are looking a little different here
#i cannot for the life of me remember if i posted this already or not#but its okay lets pretend i didnt#ace attorney#my art#aa4#apollo justice#apollo#trucy#trucy wright#vocaloid#crossover#rin kagamine#len kagamine#gyakuten saiban#aa#ace attorney apollo justice#also this is from 2021 Btw KJDHFKJS
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toji coming home from work late at night and finding you and the kids sleeping in your shared bed. you've got little megumi to your left and tsumiki to your right, their bodies curling into you as they use you as their pillow. drool dribbles from the corner of gumi's lips as he lets out the faintest snores and miki's hair is all over her face and you look awfully stiff under them, your arms probably dead and numb from the position. but he knows you would never really complain, you'd never push the kids away.
toji takes a moment to stare at the three of you. safe and sound. he burns the image into his head so he can cherish it forever before rushing to brush is teeth and to change into something more comfortable – he can't wait to see megumi scrunch his nose as toji wishes him goodnight with a little boop and he can't wait to see the small pout tsumiki will wear when he adjusts her body into a better position. he can't wait to hear the hushed call of his name when you realize he's back home, he can't wait for you to reach for him in the dark.
home.
#SLEEEPYYYYY#AND SAPPPYYYYYUUYYYY#also i cannot for the life of me#remember whether i've already written smth like this OR i just have something similar in my drafts😭😭😭😭#if i have posted it before.. ignore it ok#my brain is . bad#anyway i love him i love dad toji#SOOOSOOMUCHHHHHHH#toji#mickey is daydreaming#toji fluff
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Begging someone to draw Monty as Conan Gray's Kid Krow album cover
#I might've already seen this done but I genuinely for the life of me cannot remember if it was a dream or not 😭😭#I might do it when I have more time but I can't draw for shit so I will not be posting that#dead boy detectives#dbda#monty finch#monty the crow#conan gray#kid krow
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sorry i'm thinking abt megumi's incessant desire to be the first to die vs. the narrative keeping him alive despite and how the most tragic ending for him is not actually dying, but being left behind. for megumi, the worst fate is living a long life
#megumi growing up assuming he will be the first to die out of those he loves#bc gojo is the Strongest and tsumiki is a non-sorcerer so they should both be Safe while megumi is just. megumi#vs megumi at 15 having lost tsumiki gojo nobara nanami etc etc and knowing it's only a matter of time before he loses yuuji too#megumi not knowing how to be the survivor because he never thought he'd live long enough to have to say goodbye#also sometimes i think abt that post that was like... remember in thg how katniss' motivation for Everything is saving prim?#and then prim still died at the end because the world they lived in could not allow someone so good to live? it could not allow#katniss the One thing she wanted most#yeah so like. everything megumi is doing and has done has been for tsumiki. it's all been for her#but the world they live in is cruel and tsumiki is too good of a person#and when has megumi ever been granted anything he's wanted? why should the world allow him his one biggest desire of tsumiki's safety?#and what is megumi supposed to do when he outlives the one person who has been by his side - the one person he wanted most to save#how is he supposed to live a long life when everyone he cares about is gone? how is he supposed to care about new people?#what's that one quote that's like. a son or a husband can be replaced but who can grow me a new brother#no one can replace tsumiki. megumi cannot find a new sister#yes losing gojo and yuuji would be devastating. but at the end of the day megumi has known yuuji for only a few months#and gojo was already a replacement for his father#tsumiki has been with him longest and she's always been megumi's main motivation#she's the reason he didn't go to the zenin clan. she's the reason he was trained by gojo. she's the reason they're all in the culling games#trying to fix it from the inside and running on a time limit#and what happens if he CAN'T save her. what happens if. like katniss and prim. despite EVERYTHING. tsumiki still has to die#THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF TSUMIKI#BECAUSE MEGUMI WANTS TO SAVE HER#DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRAGEDY IN BEING ALIVE WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry i'm not normal about fictional sibling dynamics. btw if you even care#hello grace here#jjk spoilers#update i just realized it's not even 7am. as you can tell i'm having a great time today
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father!!!
#i cannot for the life of me remember if i posted this already so here#i did this on my phone and it was. a struggle#genshin impact#arlecchino#arlechinno genshin#art#artists on tumblr
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Friendship and relationships are hard, I'm lonely and can't be loved by anyone, so here's some hard realities and wisdom from someone who's going to die sad and alone inevitably:
Many of you have got to try to put some effort in nurturing your relationships with your friends, or at least more clearly negotiate what your friends can and can't expect from you in the long-term.
Seriously, this whole 0-contact-aside-from-reacting-through-each-other's notes and proclaiming you're ride-or-die about someone for it? Is literally killing me. I've actually been dealing with suicidality because of how impossible it is to stay in touch with, or even on good terms with, people I thought were my friends but ghosted me, and then acted bewildered when I was angry with them for it or didn't acknowledge them as my friend anymore. "You can't be mad at me for not answering your DMs for 7 years! We're friends! I still reblog your reblogs!"
I am absolutely allowed to be angry, and I absolutely can demote you in my mind from "person I thought was a friend" to "mutual that ignores me until they need a dopamine fix or an answer to a specific question".
Months or years of unprompted, unbroken silence is not friendship - acquaintenceship, sure, but not friendship. It's a bad friend that expects love and loyalty by default no matter how long they've been ghosting their friends.
Love and loyalty are like a garden: they require cultivating and a commitment to nurture and grow, or else it gradually withers, and eventually dies. Earning the love and loyalty of a friend and then abandoning the garden of that relationship is how you find yourself locked out of your former friend's garden, or find them lonely, miserable, and exhausted from trying to keep the garden thriving when they themselves have slowly been dying inside because you haven't come back to the garden in years.
You have to learn to reach out and nurture your relationships. If you're autistic or otherwise have problems socializing, there are still some skills that you need to learn to avoid being isolated and friendless at the end of the day. Being autistic with trouble socializing is not an excuse to treat people you call your friends or that you claim to love like hobbies you can leave and come back to whenever you feel like - I learned this the hard way as an autistic person with shit social skills.
You have to negotiate what a friend can expect from you if you're an Outside Cat Friend that only drops in when you have specific reasons to reach out. It can be heartbreaking being the friend left waiting for a reply or a text without knowing the friend you're waiting for is an Outside Cat Friend.
Unless you have already agreed with your friend(s) that it's okay to ghost each other for extensive periods, spontaneously dropping out of contact with someone you've convinced is a good friend to you is really shitty and makes you a shitty friend.
"But I don't have the energy to reach out." Tell them.
"I have a lot going on and don't have time to talk." FUCKING TELL THEM.
"I haven't had anything to talk about." THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.
"I've been too anxious to reach out." SAY THAT. JUST SAY THAT.
"I need a break from social contact for a while, so I don't wanna talk at all really." SAY THAT BEFORE YOU JUST DROP OFF THE END OF THE EARTH.
I've been the Reaching-Out Friend for most of my life, and in the past 5-10 years especially, I haven't been finding a whole lot of strength left to keep tending abandoned gardens that are thriving in name only. I've gotten fed up with self-professed friends that say they love me or view me as a sibling, but ultimately prove themselves to be bystanders when it's my turn to need someone to lean on and help me look after the garden.
Yes, there are absolutely friends you can have that can go years without hearing from you and still pick up where you left off when you do meet up again. They're awesome and worth keeping just as much as any other friends are.
There are also those friends that silently grieve your absence, that reach out to no avail, and wind up leaving the garden to die entirely after salting the soil with their own tears. Those are the friends that you've taken too much from without giving enough of yourself in return, and you've used them up and thrown them away without realizing you've treated someone that cared about you like a tool.
"I'm not the kind of friend that reaches out first."
That's your choice. No matter how you dress it up, when you decide it's time to neglect a friend, you're choosing to neglect them if they aren't prepared for what to expect from a friendship with you. You have the right to do that whenever you want to, but you cannot expect a warm reception with every person you do it to every time you do it. You cannot anticipate full amnesty in advance without full disclosure in advance.
If you're currently thinking of someone you've left sitting on read for a long time right now? It might be time to break your pattern and reach out for once.
Fall together, not apart.
#friendship#relationships#social media#dysfunctional relationships#words from an unlovable person#fake friends#rant#long post#don't send me contrived motivational dms#they do not help me and just make me angrier about how alone i am#basic kindness and companionship are too much to ask for. i've learned that the hard way#it's too late for me#so go reach out to the people you have before they're gone#i'm already consigned to isolation and loneliness#i've tried changing myself in every way i can possibly manage to keep the love and approval of the people i cared for most#they left me anyway. even family.#i am not a lovable person#and if anyone is reading these notes no. you are not the exception.#you cannot love me. it isn't possible. nobody can#i've fought for my entire life in the name of protecting the people i love#and i'm still alone#don't waste the effort on me#i've tried too hard for too long to make friends and find a community#those aren't things that i'm allowed to have#so i don't try anymore#nobody wants me#nobody ever did#the first words i ever heard as a baby that i can remember were “i hate you” from my sister#there ARE people in this world that die alone and miserable#i am going to end up one of them
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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Assorted Magma Doodle Part 3! Old-ish edition
I feel like the red works a lot better than the old orange I used here, though I really like orange hehehehehhe
#magma#fnaf sb#solar lunacy#self insert#fnaf self insert#fnaf dca#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf eclipse#its entirely possible that I've posted some of these already#but I cannot for the life of me remember#or can see#fdhjgnbdsfjkhbg#I think I'm continuing to get a bit better at drawing them everyday#sdgdfg#that Moon drawing where he's telling me to take care of myself#UGH#ITS MY FAVOURITE#IM CRYING#CRYING AFFECTIONATELY OVER IT#also this is still not all of it#but im not gonna put up anymore pfff#the post spam is already crazy#teehee#maybe i'll put more idk#we silly#my art#artist persona
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drew anathema for their birthday a few days ago :)
#angel#original character#kell.png#oc: anathema#i love them so. fucking much#i Cannot for the LIfe of me remember if i already posted this. if i did then it's fine they deserve to be posted twice :)
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i have such a reputation that four separate people incorporated pringles into my birthday gifts. be that girl
#to the point my one mate today (the one i almost ditched in that seminar LMAO) ((WAIT I NEED TO TELL YOUSE ABOUT HIM))#anyway! he was like 'oh i actually got you something!' which given our dynamic despite RECENT DEVELOPMENTS AHEM#is so unusual like he was NOT required to get me a gift. but then i immediately was like 'it's pringles isn't it'#and he was just like 'sigh. yeah' LMFAOOOOO#and you know what? chuffed to utter bits. ive already eaten half of them in 24 hours. scranning even more as i type this#anyway back to that guy. so you know i sometimes mention my flatmate from first year who also happens to be on my course#so off the bat we've got a weird friendship bc he's not just a coursemate bc i also lived with him#but also first year halls were assigned not chosen so it's not like we were actually FRIENDS#especially bc my flat did NOTTT get on lmfao so me and him were mainly just. acquaintances who lived and studied together?#very strange foundation to have with someone. but we went all of second year barely staying in contact#and then this year we live in the same area and for the LIFE of me i cant remember how we got back in contact#but all of a sudden we were messaging every day and meeting up before lectures and sitting together in them and stuyding together etc#and we get on REALLY well like he has my exact sense of humour i know ive posted about him several times#over the past three years being like 'me and this guy are the funniest people i know' 'he would do bits on tumblr' etc#AND THE OTHER WEEK HE ADMITTED THAT HE LIKES ME AND WE WENT ON A DATE#AND IT WENT REALLY WELL BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM#SO IM TRYING NOT TO PUT PRESSURE ON ANYTHING and i was super clear w him also that im not actively searching for anything#so if smthn happens organically then it happens but if not it's my final year and that will always take priority and he was super chill#so i dont feel like i HAVE to make a decision just yet but we're going out again tomorrow#and it's like. even if it doesnt become smthn romantic i just really click with him?? like we get on so well??? IT'S SO FUN#AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! WOOHOO! pringles post derailed by a MAN. awful#hella goes to uni
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everytime i see this it makes me think of let's take ibuprofen together
#I cannot for the life of me remember if I posted this one already#anyway I love his excited waving while running to me and the bending down slightly to look at me and the little 'cmere' gesture#and the holding his hand out and his soft smile#so uh. everything about this I guess ^_^#levi you're so cute it's not fairrrrrrr >w<#♥︎🐍#♥︎ | looks like this gal's in love!
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So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again
#i dont want to feel a profound sadness anytime anyone (especially someone i know) expresses being grateful about their group of friends#i dont want to feel this way every time i find out about them being at a social gathering or whatever together#i feel so awful so so awfully patheticly lonely i feel so stupid and i feel so horrible when admitting it#and i fall into deep worry about my situation never changing bc everyone i know has a network of friends from childhood or school#and pretty much no one from my childhood or school stayed in my life i feel so scared of my future how will i live a life this way#anytime i come across a post talking about long time friends i cannot stomach reading it#it's all so debilitating and i dont know how much longer i can keep on ranting like this#i moved countries i hoped things would change i approached people i talked i asked to hang out three years later i'm left with two#(used to be three but she seems to not care about me at all) seperate friends i'm so grateful for both#but it doesnt work out. it doesnt work this way. i cannot socialize with them since theyre not muslim n we have very different life styles#so i tried finding muslim friends i got associated with the muslim students association went to gatherings joined the book club#i met very lovely girls but nothing more came out of it#i remember the first time i took part in something it was two years ago i talked with a group#it was a group who already were friends and one girl who also had just met them#a year later i find out theyve all become friends and hang out. vallahi i dont know what it is i'm doing wrong i'm so tired and so desperate#it kills me. it's so scary to not have a social network not have friends to lean on to call when youre in need it's so isolating#i've lived my teen years this way i'm continuing to live my 20s this way and cant stop but think it has to do with me#anyways enough of that now bye#nesi rants
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ik i post a lot of hollow knight art (and will be continuing to do so for the foreseeable future) but both my queue and my hollow knight art are not infinite, and i happen to have a lot of old art for genshin impact, botw, old original art (not just bug god ocs, I have other fellas as well), craft stuff (embroidery, jewelry), and maybe some other stuff (i do not remember)
so basically if anyone following wants to see anything listed specifically, lmk, it’d give me a direction of what to add to my queue next!
#i think i drew fanart for some other stuff before too but for the life of me i cannot remember WHAT#idk mention a piece of media to me and maybe i'll remember if i drew fanart for it#or maybe if im not too busy w work i'll be inspired to draw something new#its just like there is soooo much old art i do not know where to start#and w hollow knight if anyone thinks an idea or au is funny n wants to see more also lmk! no guarantee that i have more material for that#specifically but i might! i have many ideas so i am like always bouncing between them#sometimes too many. sometimes so many that idk what to do next#most of my botw stuff is already posted but reblogging stuff from my loz acct would be a nice thing to Add Substance to my queue#it's either that or i go dormant for 1 business day - 4 business months or smth like that#at least tumblr is nicer than insta in that regard. i don't think i'll be returning to instagram like Ever#maybe only for super finished polished pieces#not art#artists on tumblr#genshin impact#botw#loz#fanart#idk what in the fresh hell else to tag this sooo yea
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In less than two months it will be October 7th again.
In less than two months, it will be a year of genocide.
In light of this, I just have only one request for you; please do not give into whatever you are describing as “compassion fatigue” right now.
Realize that this is exactly what the colonizers conducting this genocide want you to feel. Realize that apathy during a genocide is what leads to the normalization of atrocities. Realize that this is a tried and tested method found throughout history; that now when the genocide is been widely documented by Gazans themselves- the only way the colonizers can get away with it is by running you down and making you feel hopeless!
They want you to stop caring about their victims and this is why you need to fight harder now more than ever!!
I request you to fight harder for every Gazan! And therefore request you to fight for my friend Siraj Abudayeh too, whose family recently faced another assault. His parents and siblings had to flee to him for protection, because their areas ( Hamad, southern Khan Younis) were marked for assault from occupation forces. With the number of people depending on him increased now, Siraj has a much heavier responsibility on his shoulders to raise enough funds to support all of them and their needs, when prices of food water and other essentials are already skyrocketing.
With the coming of the rainy season, there comes the danger of epidemics spreading from open sewers as well! Siraj’s son Amir has already fallen ill, and his other two sons are showing symptoms too- they are in dire need of medical treatment! I cannot overstate how badly Siraj and his family need these funds!! How badly he needs your continuous support.
There has been a significant drop in engagement with fundraising posts and I very clearly remember, someone tagging one of my posts with compassion fatigue. It shocked me to my core to think that the cries of Free Palestine could fade so suddenly; that after only a year some of you have begun to feel fatigued, from having to care about this.
Do not give in please; do not let the colonizers make you complicit in this horror! They know that if they can overwhelm you enough, then one day the videos and posts would stop hitting as hard and sooner or later everyone will stop talking about Palestine. This cannot happen again! Not when your attention can literally save a life! This is the power you hold- especially if you are living in the Imperial core. The colonizers are afraid of it. You have to know this and believe this!
So please do not turn away and help Siraj get to 50k as soon as possible!
He is currently only at $45,044 / $82,000 CAD
[ GFM LINK ]
[ Vetting at 219 on Hussein's spreadsheet]
And if you are having trouble donating to Siraj's fundraiser through Paypal, please get in touch with @malcriada .
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