#i cannot do names for the life of me

[enoe-of-noen]

M!Mc: *came home with a demon child in his arms, a stunned look on his face*

Satan: Uh…who’s that, dear?

M!Mc: …she wouldn’t leave me alone.

Child: …*smiles*

Satan: …why?

Child: Mama and papa didn’t want me anymore. Mc helped get me ice cream.

Satan: *looks over to Mc, bewildered*

M!Mc: I tried to give her to authorities but…

Satan: *sighs* Well, we can’t just keep her, can we?

Child and Mc: …

Satan: No-

Next

[idolomantises]

I mentioned it before but I’ve developed a bizarre obsession with Bronco Knight that I cannot describe. At first I was like “haha what an asshole I like him” and now I have a dedicated sideblog to him (it’s private lol), I’ve frantically spent hours looking for any fanart and fan merch I can find and I’ve been obsessively reading fanfics involving him for weeks.

Idk what happened. Why am I Bronco-pilled. Please help.

[willyhoos]

metamy is insane. like.

what if i was the hero you loved gone wrong. defeated and destroyed. rebuilt as my own greatest enemy. what if i lost everything. what if i had been reprogrammed to despise all i had once fought for. what if i couldn't even remember why i had fought at all.

and what if you were made of roses. what if you represented every beautiful thing i once died trying to protect. what if you wore flowers in your hair and cared for small creatures and had eyes the color of the forests i used to call my home. what if you were everything i once loved.

those memories are just out of my reach. infuriatingly. maddeningly. but if anyone knows who i am (who i used to be) it's you. if anyone can make me feel like who i used to be (who i really am) it's you. i can't speak, i can't breathe, i can't remember anything (but you).

you are the world i have been ordered to burn. i am the weapon you have chosen to resist. i was (am) the hero that you loved.

you are my only memory.

[braisedhoney]

Draw your favorite ghost! Mine's Ember.

“That would be me. Surprise.”

(ayyy flaming hair favs club :D)

[teddybeartoji]

being on here sure is a good distraction though things are not looking very sexy irl i can't lie

[fbfh]

do you still write for jj?

ooooh not only do I write for JJ but I kiss you on both cheeks for giving me an excuse to talk about one of my favorite obscure JJ thoughts. JJ x ballerina!reader (gn so technically ballet dancer reader, but you do dance pointe and in a more feminine style in pas de deux so do with that what you will)

They thought you were a kook for the first few summers since you clearly went to school off the island. It turns out you're not, you're just a scholarship kid to whatever fancy school you go to (something that Pope LOVES to pick your brain about since he's dying for a scholarship to his dream college)

at some point or another, there's a hurricane. you end up sticking it out with the other pogues. that's when they notice how... weirdly flexible you are. especially JJ. mostly JJ. it started off small, with you stretching a little while you guys are hanging out in the aftermath since the day after a hurricane is always a free day. JJ looked away from you for like two seconds and you just fuckin... dropped into a perfect split. he's surprised by this obviously, but he's more surprised when you seamlessly shift to a split on the other side, then a center split, bending and moving with impossibly flexibility. then a moment later, you're asking him "hey can you grab my leg?" as you stand up and stretch into a scorpion/needle pose. soon you're dragging him out of the room to "help you with something else." he FULLY thinks yall are about to hook up, but instead you put on this beautiful, artsy, erratic piano music, kick off your sandals or sneakers or whatever, and begin moving like a fucking vision.

you're rambling to him while you dance like it's nothing, but his jaw is on the fucking floor.

"This is the solo I learned last semester," you chuckle while spinning like a little figurine atop a music box, or something in a snow globe, or... wherever else he's seen ballerinas in passing before.

"If I'm rusty by the time I get back, Miss Raine will kill me." you chuckle playfully.

after a few moments, you finish, posed delicately on the ground. you look up at him, your cheeks flushed, your eyes glistening with mirth.

"holy fucking shit," he exclaims, making you blush. "goddamn, princess, that-"

he trails off with a disbelieving chuckle.

"That was fuckin' incredible," he says with a breathy laugh, then nudges you playfully, looking at you more closely like he must have missed something all those times he looked at you and never saw this magical ballet fairy hiding inside you. "you've been holdin' out on me." he teases.

"okay, okay, here's where I need your help." you begin, trying not to get too distracted. you reach out and grab his wrist, holding out his left arm palm up. "I'm gonna run at you like this-"

you demonstrate, taking a step forward. his attention is locked onto you even harder from the moment you grab his arm.

"And kinda... kick my leg around," you do just that, so you're twisted around and facing away from him. he lets out a little noise of surprise. you know it must seem convoluted and ridiculous, but you really need help practicing this lift.

"I need you to wrap your arm around me like this," you say, bending forward with one leg extended behind you, the other supporting you, so your stomach rests on his bicep and his hand holds the small of your back. "And then place your other hand right on my ribcage here."

"oh, my hand will be wherever you want it, cupcake." he says, making you roll your eyes at the (only half joking) innuendo.

"okay." you say, taking a step back. "you ready?"

the first few times you walk through it together are clumsy and slow, a mess of limbs and giggles, but eventually you get it. you call your friends in to show them the bluebird lift you've been working on, even having successfully taught JJ how to lower you and do a few basic steps with you to conclude. you both get through it unscathed, and your friends reactions are very similar to JJ (with only slightly less innuendo and teasing from John B and Pope), and as JJ giggles and demands you come at him so he can lift you again, you start to see a lot of potential in him.

maybe, just maybe, you can shape that potential a little more over the summer. your ballet academy always has scholarships for boys available since they're always in demand in the performing arts. you think there might just be a chance for JJ to do a lot more lifts with you.

[shelterdogswag]

if straight/different gender couples have "as you wish"

and gay men have "tamquam alter idem"

then what do lesbians have?

[vanweezer]

ive been calling them slipkneight. its a work in progress

[endlesslytired]

to finish this absolute madness I'm dealing with trying to put these together I give you the ones I forgot to add bc I lost them or didn't feel like worked right yet I still like, plus ones that I just had no place for at all. (aka solo topaz stuff)

bonusss, I wrote this very early on into playing hsr and realised this would be really neat to make in the maker. it's not much of a meme but a funny idea on stuff Kafka could have done.

prevus poast:

[laundryandtaxes]

I think that comparisons between access to prescribed stimulants and medications like insulin are categorically inappropriate, and I will personally hand to anyone a card to mock people making that comparison. However, today I called Walgreens to ask whether they'd gotten Adderall in (because I called last Wednesday and they were out of stock, and I know from having experienced this multiple times over multiple months that they get new shipments on Wednesdays) and the woman on the phone told me they were out of the generic (which my prescriber only began prescribing because the name brand was out of stock) and that the name brand would be $326 unconvered, but that my insurance would cover a 5 mg dose, which, due to the laws around schedule 1 substances, means I would have to call my prescriber to have them resend the Rx to the phamracy, but this time for 3x daily 5 mg capsules. And I just said thank you and hung up but inside I was like ma'am, I know it isn't your fault but this is actually exactly what one would cook up if the intention was to torture a person via the process of accessing their stimulant prescription.

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

[dipplinduo]

Chapter 6 of Bet You'll Fall in Love With Me is now out, and...

Me, like a week ago: Hey guys due to personal reasons I'mma just write a lil' fluff, not really in an angsty mood for the angsty updates but they'll come soon. :) Also me writing said fluff update:

...THAT BEING SAID, LOL. WHOOPS. Didn't get to a specific scene I was gonna get to...but. It is 10000% going in Chapter 7, and is actually a great way to get to what Chapter 7 is gonna be about. Originally this chapter was named "The Panic" but after reflecting on it I think "The Rain" is better suited. "The Panic" will definitely have some funny romcom vibes featured in Chapter 7. xD

Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to vote on this poll here about upcoming content if you like this fic! :)

[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[warrior-of-storms]

Yesterday, I did Reverse Robins. Today let's talk Reverse Arrows :)

Oliver Queen is 23, he's been Green Arrow for about a year, maybe a little less, and he gets contacted out of the blue with two things - one, his father is dead (he thought he already was? what?) and two, he has a half-sister named Emiko. She's 13 years old, and Ollie isn't going to be much of a legal guardian, but he's better than her assassin mom (which?? isn't that the lady who tried to kill him last winter??) or her assassin "father" (Ollie doesn't want details, he really doesn't, but what on earth happened to his sister?)

Emi wants to work with him. It's not like he can hide Green Arrow from her, nor would he want to, but he doesn't really want a kid out there with him, especially not his kid sister. But Emiko is stubborn, and she does good work, and Oliver eventually relents, if only to make it so she'll accept improvements to her gear and armor.

Oliver is 25 when he meets Mia Dearden. She's only a year younger than Emiko, and she also figures him out pretty dang quick, and maybe Oliver should get some kind of face covering (because there is no way he's shaving his precious goatee). Oliver Queen is a lot of things but first and foremost, he's a bleeding heart, so Mia is brought home and Ollie becomes her legal guardian. Unfortunately, she also likes the idea of working with him. Oliver tries to talk her out of it. Emiko trains her niece against Oliver's wishes. Speedy comes about, joining Arrows Green and Red on the streets. Oliver nearly dies of a heart attack every night but he does like having his girls with him, and it's better that they're with him than on their own.

Emiko and Mia grow up and move up. Emiko retains the name Red Arrow, but Mia outgrows Speedy and takes up Arsenal. They're 22 and 21 respectively when Oliver finds out about his son, Connor Hawke. Connor is 17 and also ridiculously skilled with a bow. He doesn't actually want to throw himself on the streets, which Oliver is grateful for, but it doesn't last. They team up one (1) time, and Connor is designing an outfit and Oliver has a new partner.

Oliver is so sure, so certain, that Connor's the last kid he's gonna take in (barring, like, another surprise bio kid) but he's so wrong. Connor's been living and working with him for about two years when Oliver meets Roy Harper. The kid's 13 years old, and great with a bow, and history is repeating itself. There's a new Speedy, with Mia's blessing, and Oliver can't help but wonder if Roy would get along with Batman's new kid, Robin...

[parchmentknight]

forgot about cole cassidy guys.... he was so Eye-Catching to young me (2016)..... he is literally Cowboy..... i wish i was him so bad

[themyscirah]

It was there, before it was there.

For Hal, it was dreams. Awake and asleep, he would finally fly. There he went farther and faster than his father ever did. Tinged in green, he would touch the stars. But it always ended the same. He was a Jordan, after all. At least the end was warm, like sunlight.

Guy got knocked down a lot. Picked himself back up a lot too. Sometimes went down again right after. Each time though, for a second after, he could only see green.

John heard voices. Sometimes just a few, a council, old and wise-- sometimes more: a town, a city, a planet. They all wanted something. Wanted him to do- to be- ..... something. Well, they could just get in line.

Kyle would know things sometimes. But only sometimes. Moments in between moments. In his dreams, he always knew his father's face. They would smile, and talk, and share a drink. Then his eyes would open, and the blurry photo would return.

Once Simon saw an injured squirrel on the ground. It looked almost dead. He touched it, and it rose up and scurried away. His arm ached. His mother scolded him for using the markers (what markers?) again. He took it as a sign. Courage.

Jessica knew whispers well. They told her that she was a mess. That she was weak, or scared. Sometimes it was her own voice. Sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes, it even told her she was strong. Brave.She always liked those ones the best.

Jo's phone never died. Or rather, never stayed dead. On nights she would stumble in, tired from work, friends, or if she was lucky, the cute girl at the bar, she would leave her nearly-dead phone on her desk, cord forgotten. In the morning though, it would always be ready for her, battery life pulsing green.

It was there, before it was there.