#i cannot communicate how much of a rush comments are

[5sospenguinqueen]

Papaya Rules | Oscar Piastri x Driver! Reader

Summary: From on-track rivals to reluctant teammates, the trauma of team orders issued by Mclaren bond you and Oscar in a way you never expected. 

Warnings: mentions of papaya rules, swearing

Requested: Yes by @1800-love-me (a while ago. oops)

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2023 

f1 posted a new story

itsyn_ln replied and that’s community service for piastri  → f1 girl, aren’t you supposed to be in the media pen → itsyn_ln five more minutes → i’m in no rush 

mclaren replied no time to explain but we need you to delete this before oscar sees → we need them to get along

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mclaren just posted

liked by landonorris, jackdoohan and others

mclaren breaking news mclaren f1 racing is pleased to announce that yn ln will be joining the team in 2024, alongside oscar piastri, on a multi-year contract. we cannot wait to see what she can achieve with us

33,814 comments

itsyn_ln thank you for this opportunity! now i need to figure out how to make orange look good on me 

→ mclaren everything looks good on you

username1 wait, what? she’s oscar’s public enemy #1 and now she’ll be his teammate?

oscarpiastri and this is how i find out?

→ mclaren we didn’t want to give you a chance to protest

→ pierregasly i knew before oscar did? ha! 

→ oscarpiastri don’t make me still target the pink car next year

→ itsyn_ln i’m feeling unwanted 

jackdoohan @/itsyn_ln thanks for the seat 

→ itsyn_ln i hope i kept it warm for you! 

username2 poor osc is going to have to learn to manage this oddness

→ username3 poor osc is probably more focused on having to learn not to strangle her

alpinef1team losing another driver to the sinister evil and orange team 

→ itsyn_ln at least you’ll miss me. i’m starting to think pierre lied when he said he would

→ pierregasly of course i did. you were staring straight at me without blinking

username4 don’t get me wrong, i can’t wait to see yn in a better car but i fear this was poor planning on mclaren’s part. they’re going to struggle with managing their drivers 

landonorris i’m sorry, osco. i didn’t know me leaving was going to lead to this

→ oscarpiastri you’re not forgiven. 

username5 i fear mclaren are not going to have the dream team they were expecting

→ username6 they need to prepare to see both papaya cars dnf’ing all the time next year

username7 i need that jacket! 

→ mclaren all yn merch coming soon! 

→ username8 they move fast. they’ve already got her in papaya and prepared to release her papaya merch 

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2024

mclaren just posted

liked by patriciooward, gabrielbortoleto_ and others

mclaren and it’s a papaya 1-2 what a race! a phenomenal display of teamwork from oscar and yn

55,098 comments

username9 wtf was that 

username10 i can’t decide which one of them was robbed more 

username11 so they want them to become friends but then force them to concede wins???

username12 i never want to hear the phrase ‘papaya rules’ again. idk what it means but i know it was shit

username13 the fact that neither of them have interacted with this post shows that they’re not happy with their 1-2

username14 you guys need to chill. they were coming under fire from max, and yn was faster. oscar was holding her up and if they hadn’t have switched, max could’ve had them both 

→ username15 there was two laps left. i’m sure they could’ve managed it

→ username14 did you not see all the purple sectors max was setting 

username16 i hope oscar doesn’t blame yn for this

username17 unrelated but i love how much shorter yn is than osc in this pic. they’re so cute

→ username18 they’re mortal enemies. don’t start romanticising them

→ username19 they are so enemies to lovers coded 

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oscarpiastri just posted

liked by itsyn_ln, arthur_leclerc and others

oscarpiastri enjoying a week off

44,287 comments

mclaren does this mean we’re friends again

→ oscarpiastri not yet

username1 mr piastri, sir, um, is that a WOMAN?

username2 look, it’s very nice to see that you’re alive and well but we no longer care about that because who is that in the last pic?! 

charles_leclerc son, you didn’t tell me about this 

landonorris a new teammate and a new partner. i see i’m being fully replaced

→ oscarpiastri don’t fuel the rumours about us

username3 oh so this is why twitter is freaking out

username4 the linked hands

username5 yn liked this? are they friends now??

itsyn_ln just posted

liked by mclaren, landonorris and others

itsyn_ln my boyfriend just won a grand prix, bitches! 

73,220 comments

pierregasly was this meant to be posted on the burner account??

→ itsyn_ln oh shit

→ oscarpiastri oh, sweetheart

→ charles_leclerc and everyone thought i would tell! 

itsyn_ln well, no point deleting it now. enjoy

→ username6 yn and oscar are dating?!!?

→ username7 and he calls her sweetheart?!?!?

username8 no one understands how precious these two are to me

username9 enemies to lovers come true

username10 these two were written by a wattpad user

alpinef1team sometimes we think we miss you and then you do stuff like this 

→ mclaren sure you don’t want her back 

→ username11 noooo don’t take our papaya partners away from us 

username12 i’ve only had ynoscar for five minutes but if anything happens to them, i will kill everyone

username13 they said i was crazy but i knew! i knew there was passion between their feud

landonorris and you did so good to not kiss him in front of the cameras

→ oscarpiastri she’s more annoyed that now she shouldn’t have bothered

→ itsyn_ln want to smooch you for the world to see

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requests open

coming soon; max taste part 3 and franco x driver! reader

[cute-little-fly]

This is what I think about the tumblr critical communities. I have seen good comments that come from good places, and is good to be critical about things you like so creators can put attention to it and improve. Criticism has a good side but also a bad one.

But criticism needs to be more objective. Try to understand what was meant, consider all the elements in the scenes and dialogues with the overarching story and at the end see what could have being done better and what was done good. List what did it fail? What did it worked? Why? This is the usual kind of criticism I have seen from movie analists, and how I think those should be. We will always disagree at some points, but at least try to see more.

But most criticisms here and in other webs are like: this is bad because it should be this way or this other way. Because it should have ended like this or that. Then, you will see somebody else comment the entire opposite. There is no real objectivity or deep analysis most of the times. Or they villanize characters.

Like, you are seeing Jynx arc bad because you don’t detach to how you think should have been. So, no wonder why you don’t understand the one being shown in the series. Is true that some themes in the series were left out and even softened, but we need to accept it. Is true Zaun and Piltover could have had a better resolution, and is kinda bad that they were in the focus in season 1 and that season 2 couldn’t make much place for them. Is true some arcs that the one of Mel could have been shorter. Some other scenes or desitions are also less thought. But even with all of that Arcane is still GOOD. For me this is what they fail to see. Arcane ending was anticlimactic and rushed in some parts, but if you consider the series overall and what it says and happened, is clearly good and super worth the watch.

We can’t do nothing about the fact that the writers room went from 13 people to 3 people. I don’t think the 3 people left are bad writers, but, the work of 13 people cannot be replaced by 3 people. The level of details and everything of course will be different because each person contributes with their best skill. Season 1 had a lot more details and things to analyze because of how many good writers they had.

I also hoped we were going to see a revolution Jynx and that she may redeem herself that way when Do you wanna come play was released. But it ended being a bummer and not happening that, and I am actually… fine? Amanda said that ending for the sisters was intended since the very beginning. Also, for me it makes sense to what we have seen of them. They were never revolutionaries but because of who they are they were always in the middle of the conflict.

So yeah… I think is a combination of all the headcanons people had after season 1 not really being intended by the show runners, that rubbing people the wrong way, and also some things being teased to misdirect made the series look bad because how few time there is for everything and those things teased keep the people hoping for certain things to happened.

Of course, I think some of those things people headcanoned really appeared to be what the series was going to be, and is a possibility that they changed those plans, or the writers in charge of that were the ones fired and the ones left didn’t knew how to do that properly with that short time…

Buuut, at the end, my point is… we should cherish what we have, the good, talk about what we could have had in a constructive way (not saying how the show was ruined and super bad, because you are shoving the amazing things under a rug) and how they should try to balance better the thematic elements for the next shows (and maybe plan better the level of production and see that having more writers is important and have a better team communication); without falling into only seeing the negative and ignore All the amazing things this series has. Even with its imperfections…

I saw a lot the critique of a writer that saw both the good and bad things this season had. He actually criticized mostly act III and how the sisters lost relevance being the ones more important at the beginning. Which is a very valid one. Arcane seen overall as one single thing is an amazing series. Is one of my highlights of 2024.

Yes I am very emotionally invested in Arcane, yes I do draw real life inspiration from it, yes my favorite character is based on who I relate to the most, but you know what I DON'T do? I don't equate the story as a complete mirror to reality. I don't think it's bad to tell stories with unhappy endings. I don't think it's bad to have problematic characters. I don't think it's bad to LIKE problematic characters. I can still separate fiction from reality. And I think it's great practice to have morally ambiguous stories so that we can have actual conversations about moral ambiguity outside of the sphere of real life.

Art is a great conduit to talk about real life issues. AND it's a great way to look closer at dark topics without drawing from real life situations. It is BOTH.

True critique knows the distinction and when to bounce between the two.

[starchaserdreams]

I thought my love language was Quality Time but then I discovered AO3 comments and now I know that my love language is actually Words of Affirmation anyway wow

[whosaidsealscantfly]

My two cents on the whole situation

I think a lot of people in the Welcome Home fandom are misunderstanding the bigger picture here. It's resulting in a lot of people expressing disappointment and pointing fingers at people who aren't even the problem, and while the intentions mean well, it's causing the toxic environment Clown doesn't want.

In his post, which has now been privated, he talks about how overwhelming everything is. He even directly states that it's not just about boundaries, and while he has trouble putting it into words (and I will not put words in his mouth in the process either), Clown indicates that the sudden spotlight and attention is overwhelming him. And that's completely understandable - he's just one guy! Plus, he's been making stuff for Welcome Home for years, so it only makes sense to fluster over the sudden rush of attention in only a week. A week!!!

The reasons why boundaries come into play with all of this isn't just because his THREE rules were violated by garbage people. It's the fact that he had no time to establish boundaries beforehand, and it's stressful to suddenly have to think of EVERY facet of fandom culture and establish the dos and don'ts. But as Clown said, what's happened has happened, and all we can do is move on. Which leads me to my next point:

Clown explicitly said to not reprimand people on his behalf. He doesn't want the fandom to waste time and energy on people who have already crossed the line. What has happened, has happened. With that said, it's important to educate and point out when someone has crossed a boundary, but you shouldn't go through so much effort and anger over someone who clearly doesn't give a shit.

I've seen a lot of people who are making posts with a lot of "shame on you!"s and "You are all trash." I've also seen comments on harmless fanfics or art saying things like "You're the reason this fandom sucks." What awful things to say!

This fandom is probably one of the best fandoms I've been a part of. Why? Because a large majority, and I mean a LARGE majority, are respectful of Clown and want to do right by him. I've never seen a community band together so quickly to change their ways, apologize, spread the word, and evaluate the decisions they've made: not just in this fandom, but every fandom they've ever been a part of. That's HUGE. I've been on the internet for a very long time, and I don't think I've ever seen anything like that.

Yes, there are BAD eggs in this fandom, but there always is. What's important is that I haven't been seeing those bad eggs. Like, at all. I haven't seen a single explicit NSFW post, and I haven't seen a single piece of mass-produced merch. I've only heard about them through word-of-mouth, but I've never actually seen anything with my own eyes. Not that I doubt anyone, but I'm saying this to illustrate just how little bad eggs there are in the community. And this is a HUGE community.

In fact, I think we're so good, that we're starting to punish ourselves for making fandom content, and that is also awful. I want to reiterate what Clown's three major rules are:

Refrain from publicly posting NSFW content or content that wouldn't be safe for children to see/read.

Do not mass produce merch. Commissions and personal projects are fine, but they cannot be mass produced to be sold.

Do not impersonate and claim his art as yours. Give credit!! Don't trick people, and don't profit off of someone else's work!

And that's it! I've seen a lot of people taking down their fanfictions and art and AUs just because they're worried about Clown. That's super sweet and it warms my heart to hear that the community is so considerate, but remember, the three rules above are the only don'ts. Lots of people are scared of continuing to overwhelm him, and they're also scared that he might stop the project all together.

I assure you, he's not. Firstly, his fan works guideline is still pinned on his Tumblr blog!! If he wasn't sure of fanworks all together, he would have simply privated the post and write a new one with new rules. The rules have not changed. He loves to see fan interpretations, your AUs, your OCs, and your art! This is all explicitly stated! You can read it here incase you forgot -> https://www.tumblr.com/partycoffin/712519493403934720/apologies-if-this-has-already-been-asked-but-how?source=share

Secondly, he actually posted an update on his ko-fi that indicates that he's doing much better and that he's "elbow deep" into working on Welcome Home! I'm a member that gets to see all of his posts on ko-fi, and while I'm not going to show you the whole post (obviously), I will quote an important part you guys should see: "You have all been so delightful to me (Setbacks happen with an abrupt shift in attention, I realize, so roll I will with this newfound experience!) and I was like 'Oh, let's post a tasty preview!'"

Clown acknowledges all of the goodwill and kindness the community has shown. He even states that he's learned from the experience and he's working hard on Welcome Home to see it through!

This was a very long two cents, so I'll end it here.

tl;dr, You guys are being too harsh on each other/yourselves, and that's the last thing Clown wants. He's doing better, Welcome Home is still being worked on, and you shouldn't have to shame yourself or others for posting perfectly kosher fandom content. There's only three major rules, three, so you shouldn't have to feel bad about what makes you happy.

[20-th-centurygirl]

sfw alphabet

levi colwill x reader

a/n: you can find the nsfw version here <3

masterlist navigation

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

so so affectionate! he's always so touchy with you like he cannot keep his hands off you and not in a sexual way he just needs to have some sort of contact with you

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

feel like he'd be such a flirty best friend. always being touchy and making little comments (you're 100% always snogging at the end of a night out together) and there's always a lil tension but neither of you ever actually want to confess ofc you both eventually do and that's the whole reason you got together in the first place 🤭

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

loves them!! spending loads of time together is rare so whenever he has the chance he's just latching onto you like a koala and refusing to let go

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

in my head levi is an absolutely awful cook but he secretly teaches himself to cook so he can eventually cook you your favourite food on your birthday and have a whole 5 course candle lit dinner at home 🥹

he seems super tidy too like he won't ever leave mess because he just doesn't like it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

depends on the reason why you're breaking up but i think he'd try to be as civil and respectful about it as he could

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

he isn't really in a big rush to get married or engaged to you because he knows you're not going anywhere so he doesn't see the need to rush

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

so so gentle with you he literally treats you like royalty. you are his angel and he will always make sure you know that.

emotionally he's the same. he's always so mindful that you don't like arguing and that you'd rather talk about your feelings and communicate instead of having a big fight.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

his favourite hugs are hugs from behind ! he loves coming up behind you and just wrapping his arms so tightly around you and nuzzling his face into your neck, pressing little kisses all over you.

and he adores it when you do the same to him ! like you come up behind him while he's cooking (can manage a pot noodle and tbags about it bless him) while he's in just joggers and he melts when you wrap your arms around him and press kisses to his bare back. and he loves that you're so much shorter than him 🤭

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

you had to say it first. he knew he was hopelessly in love with you really early into your relationship but he was super nervous about lovebombing you so he stayed quiet. but oh my god his reaction when you told him you loved him!! no win or trophy could ever compare to you loving him!

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

i think it's very rare he does actually get jealous. he's just so so confident in your relationship and he knows full well (because he's seen it before) that you'll tell someone that's flirting with you that you're not interested because you have a boyfriend.

but when he does!! he needs a very good reason to and he will literally march over, slide his hand round your throat and pull you in for the most dizzying kiss before pulling away, smiling and whoever is trying it on with you and walking off

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

kissing you is his favourite thing in the world !

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

so so cute. he wants a baby with you in the future so he's always trying to show off to you about how good he is around kiss.

like you're babysitting your niece and he's just being the best around her and going all "maybe we should have one?"

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

he's normally off to training super early so lazy sundays are literally his favourite days ever. just waking up late and smothering your face with kisses to wake you up (and ofc that leads to the softest slowest sex ever) then just making breakfast before going out on a little walk and coming home to watch movies and nap on the sofa !!

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

nights are when you get to spend the most time together so you both take advantage of that. cooking dinner together and cleaning up together before showering together. then you're forcing levi to do a whole skincare routine (that he secretly adores) and cuddling in bed!

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

in my head he opened up to you completely after a really bad game. like you'd been together for a few months so he was still keeping himself super closed off. but he had a really bad game (maybe even had a little injury) and all you did was smile and ask him if he was okay and he just broke down about how tired he was. it's that first time he was ever completely vulnerable around you and he knew you were the perfect person for him the way that you reacted.

then i think after that and just further into you're relationship he's really good at communicating and it's rare that you have an argument.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

his patience on and off the pitch are so so different. when he's with you he is literally so so calm. you're literally perfection in levi's eyes and there's nothing you could do to change that.

but when he does get angry he tries his best not to take it out on you, and if he does he'll leave you for a little bit to calm himself down before wrapping himself around you and mumbling little sorrys in between kisses

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he remembers absolutely everything about you idc. literally every little detail about you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

anytime you go to his games he gets so giddy. the first time you went he was so so happy and was the biggest show off ever

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

so so protective! you're his girl and no one is ever allowed to hurt you!

he adores your protective streak and he can't help but get so giddy when he sees how angry you get at fans for criticising him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

always always goes above and beyond. honestly he will always make sure you have the best because you're his girl and that's exactly what you deserve!!

dates and anniversaries are literally perfect because he can read you like a book and he knows the way to your heart!

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

i feel like he always puts your needs above his? he could have had the worst game of his life and be so so miserable but he refuses to actually put those needs above yours? he's good at communicating when it comes to things that bother him but he is awful at communicating his feelings.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he always makes sure he looks his best for you!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

absolutely. you are literally his whole world.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

he loves wearing matching outfits ! they're super subtle but you're always matching

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

i don't think he'd be interested in someone that's super vain? he'd rather date someone that's super down to earth and knows that there's way more to life than money and looks.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

he loves naps! always dragging you to the sofa under a huge pile of blankets so you can have a nap together

[littlemissmanga]

The Bad Batch Finale - Thoughts and Thanks

Before I get into spoiler territory, I want to say the most sincere "thank you" I've ever mustered to this fandom.

I've been in fan spaces before, going back almost 15 years - most of that on Tumblr, to boot. I've been in inactive fandoms, small fandoms, big fandoms and "we're watching new episodes together in real time" fandoms ...

And none of them have ever given this sense of community and support. Ever.

There really is something special about The Clone Wars/Bad Batch fans, even within the Prequel lovers or Star Wars fans in general that breeds this kind of sentiment. It's truly unique and I found it at a time in my life when I was the most isolated physically from my support network and struggling to make new friends and connections IRL.

I cannot express in words just how much you all saved me with your validation and support.

The Shades of Blue series was the first fanfic I actually felt comfortable leaving a comment for on Tumblr, and the amazing @the-rain-on-kamino's kind and loving reaction gave me the courage to start writing fanfiction again. Not only that, but actually sharing it for the first time in years.

And after that, everyone else came in one at a time. From @deejadabbles and @sev-on-kamino's delightful, rabid and enabling reactions to my unhinged thots, to @wings-and-beskar supporting my unhealthy Wrecker obsession, to @l-lend being an absolute example of how to engage and interact in fan spaces to make room for everyone, to @wild-karrde, our bastion of supportive engagement and creative celebration (and a kickass writer in her own right) ... you all helped me come out of my shell in ways I can't express in words besides thank you.

@dystopicjumpsuit, @freesia-writes. @anxiouspineapple99, @dickarchivist, @wizardofrozz @523rdrebel

@starrylothcat @starqueensthings @the-bad-batch-baroness @multi-fan-dom-madnessand @moonlightwarriorqueen

You all have listened to my rambles, thoughts, and vent sessions - whether about fandom stuff or not - and I hope I've been able to return a fraction of that support.

@daimyosprincess, girl you get a whole special shoutout for the levels of depravity you encourage my thots to get to :D

And there are so many more!! People I may not talk to frequently (cause sending DMs gives me anxiety), but I see you commenting, liking, reblogging when I post and posting your own amazing writing or art for me to moon over.

@cyarbika, @madameminor, @spacemagicandlaserswords @merkitty49 @vodika-vibes

@kimiheartblade @nika6q @arcsimper5

@soaringthroughthegalaxy @sunshinesdaydream @sinfulsalutations and so so many more.

THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

I'll still be around simping after our favorite clones. I hope you'll keep joining me.

Now, on to the spoilers!

I have to say overall, I like this conclusion. It's the happy ending we wanted, but if feels earned. I love that the boys got to grow old in peace with Omega. I love that their dedication to one another is reaffirmed and upheld as the strength it is, rather than - as Hemlock saw it - a weakness to exploit. And I loved that last little scene. It felt like a fanfic and I say that lovingly. It felt like the writers and animators put together the fic we all know would have happened if they left the ending on that fadeout of the Batch next to the tree on Pabu. And that felt like a kiss on the forehead as a fan.

Now here's what I didn't like.

I didn't like that they clearly rushed the end. Pacing wise, there were so many moments that were slowed down so you can feel the emotional impact ... but the editing of the scenes around them made this slower pace a mistake to me.

Like when Echo and Omega are sending Emerie and the kids away ... they all hug and take time to talk about their plan. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME. We know Hemlock has the others. We know Tarkin is on his way. YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SCENE TO HAPPEN HERE and Echo of all people would be on that, moving everyone along as he is trained to do. It feels artificial because we go from high intensity and fast paced to slow and dragging when nothing from the fast paced scene had been resolved. I think this could have been different if the scene with the kids in the hanger came before the Batch gets in to the hanger and knocked out. It would be a break from the fast pace of the Zillo escape, but without the immediate urgency of a rescue weighing over them (and us! I was having heart palpitations!). It also would then match the tone and sentiment of the scene between Hunter, Wrecker and Crosshair in the woods ("Omega needs all of us.").

These pacing issues are editing issues, and I think we're really seeing how post-production was truncated to get this out on time (or possible pre-production and storyboarding was truncated). I hate that production studios are making this practice more common to cut costs. We will wait longer for better quality storytelling.

My final example of this is Crosshair's story resolution. It doesn't happen. He still thinks he deserves to die on Tantiss (the sentiment from S3 Ep1) and even though Hunter and Wrecker tell him otherwise, we don't know if he internalizes that. And his climax is about trusting Omega to know what to do to take the shot. But Crosshair has (in this season) shown he always trusts Omega. It would have been better if his hand was still shaking and Hunter said "Omega trusts you. You'll make this shot." so that the external conflict for Crosshair is resolved by resolving his internal conflict and trusting himself as his family does. And it would leave Hunter's climax the same - trusting Omega as an competent member of the team.

It just feels rushed. Or like an abstract painting that almost looks like a real object, but just a little blurry. They almost stuck a perfect landing, but just missed the mark a bit.

I also hate how this means Wrecker gets fuck all resolution. The entire last episode was a really intriguing challenge for him. He knows Cross is off his game and Hunter is getting desperate and reckless again ... just as he is almost entirely knocked out of the fight from an injury. Him, the strong one. That should have been a great moment of growth for him. That he doesn't keep going because he always can -- which is very much how he comes across in TCW S7 and TBB S1 -- but that he actively makes himself the strong one, the supportive one, because that's what his family needs.

But no, we didn't get that. We didn't get any insight into Wrecker at all, despite him being the one to free his brothers enough for them to save Omega (and he saved Echo, too!). And then he doesn't speak again, though we see how banged up he is. I get it was less of a focus throughout the series, but man they didn't need to sideline my husband like that.

And finally, Tech.

Look, I may be delulu, but contextually, there was plenty of evidence that CX-2 was Tech. From speech and mannerisms to his blatant disregard for orders, to the seemingly personal level he took his missions.

But it's more than that - why show us this big tense moment of him breaking onto Phee's ship, which the focus being on Phee sensing him near? Why not just have that in the dialog with Hemlock the way Cid's confession was? That would have saved so much time that could have been put elsewhere. Why have such a focus on him in the marketing?

I'm not mad that Tech is dead. Let me make that clear. The showrunners said from the start they killed Tech to prove there are real, lasting consequences to characters' decisions. And I can respect that. And I can understand and appreciate the interpretation that CX-2 wasn't meant to rep Tech, but rather what the Empire can turn clones into, a threat to them all not just in the danger CX-2 poses, but the danger if they get caught.

And that's fair ... but then it could (and should have) been any and every CX trooper to fit that bill. There was no need to waste time and attention on one in particular.

And to be, that also ignores the clear wall of contextual and subtextual evidence that a reveal was planned. The posters are a great example.

Here is the Batch in the final poster:

And here is CX-2

He's standing at Crosshair's right, just out of frame. The lighting matches and he's even looking up to the right just like the rest of his brothers. The line of light cutting his left side even matches the one cutting above Crosshair's right side.

All the other posters showing Bad Batch adversaries has them lit more darkly or in shadow and has unique posing and positioning that do not reflect our heroes.

Why are we styling a brainwashed clone like one of the Batchers artistically? That's a weird choice.

I think the some big wigs wanted him back and others didn't want to water down the impact of his death and we're seeing that confusion and conflict on screen, when we really shouldn't. IDK if Disney was pushing it or the showrunners but either way, going halfsies and changing your mind (and impacting the resolutions we got because of it) is not a good look, especially from a studio like Disney/Lucasfilm. I'm not blaming Dave or Jen wholly, but we the audience should never be able to see the writer's room when we watch, and that's all I was able to see with this.

(My own husband was like "we are supposed to think that's Tech, right?" and he's not really a Bad Batch fan, he just indulges me.)

Alright, that's all I got. I'm happy with how my comfort show ended, I'll write fanfic to cover the pieces I don't agree with personally, and I'll remain ever grateful and supportive of the community who gave me this most precious gift.

I love you all.

And may the force be with you.

[saturnbellfromhell]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS IV

Hello! Welcome back to some obersvations for the month of May! I've been super inspired since I've started working in a new firm and got to meet many new colleges. So I hope you enjoy the content and always feel free to comment your opinions and observations!

〰️ DISCLAIMLER

These are my personal, subjective views on some placements and signs. If you disagree, feel free to discuss it down below and not take everything personally.

With that being said, let's get started!

💧PISCES SUN/RISING

These people just sniff out each other the second they lock eyes with one another. It's this familiar family they all crave to feel and it's finally in front of their face. They feel at peace and at home with other Pisces dominant people. They have these glossy eyes filled with mystery and warmth. Every Pisces Sun/Rising/Dominant person I've met has some sort of artistic talent, that being: painting, drawing, sculpting, writing, play any instrument..etc. They are so in tune with the details of life others strive to see. I also think they can be such big day dreamers, introverts and tragically lovley people.

💧MOON IN AQUARIUS

This placement can seem very distant, raw and viewed as a lonely wolf but on the contrary it's a whole different story. Aquarius rules the 11th house, which is the house of community, society, shortly speaking friendships. So having a Moon in this sign really means having a collective feeling with others and wanting to socialize. On the other hand Aqarius is ruled by Saturn, a cold and restrictive planet of time, so Aquariuans don't want to rush things nor spend their time on irrelevant people. By doing so they can seem to cut people off quickly and start over or to overly bond with someone and become obsessed, since putting so much effort and love into them. They want to be seem as rigid and cold to mask their openness and emotional demeanor. When they get hurt they shut off, write it off and try to ignore it, even though deep inside it hurts for a very long time, but they just try as hard as they can to forget.

💧CHIRON IN SCORPIO

Chiron, the healing healer. Cursed with a wound never to be patched up again, but at the same time giving the knowledge to others how to continue with their wounds. Scorpio Chirons are constitley shamed for their sexual energy surrounding them, so most of the time they cover up and try to hide underneath it. They attract a lot of perverted minds to the table by just breathing. This can also indicate a very empathetic and intuitive person who feels absolutely every thing and can/wants to help others, but by doing so breaks themself down a lot of the time. They also have strong trust issues, may abuse their power, can have low self estem, can be frightful and nervous people. When they open up their heart more and let go is when the healing truly happens. They are more wise than they think, but they cannot see it always threw the anxious attitude and self sabotaging persona.

💧 5TH HOUSE IN CANCER

They attract and love water signs. They crave deep connections, star gazing, physical touch, nurturing their partner, tender, sweet and innocent love. These people like to pit their partner on a pedestal and become a little obsessed with them. They want them to be the center of their universe and also want that in return. Cancer is also symbolically connected to the Mother archetype, the womb, birth...etc, having Cancer in the 5th house of romance and relationships means these people really have that motherly instinct and adore when their partner is family oriented of hands on with kids. They love rainy days filled with the smell of baked goods in the arms of their loved one. They want a Romeo and Juliet kind of love.

💧SAGITTARIUS MOON

Now I've grown up with two Sag Moons in my house hold, one being my brother and the other being my father and they are so alike it's hilarious. I've also had 2 very close friends with this placement and again the similarities are off the rails. Firstly they need to always be on the run, optionally having a job which includes a lot of travel or just changing jobs in different places. Secondly, they are so angry when things don't go their way, but they do cool down quite quickly, the most out of the 3 fire Moons. They are also so good in finding solutions with different people and I different situations. They also love to have many hobbies, are known to be book worms and can flow with any conversation quite well. They are also huge extroverts and the goofy bunch. This doesn't apply that much if the native has a lot of 8th house placements, Pluto aspects with personal planets or a 12th house Moon/Sun/Stellium.

💧AIR DOMINAT PEOPLE

It's really hard for Air dominant people to relate to others. They are just overly detached and see everything threw a realist prism. It can be a little annoying to be honest, especially for fire and water signs, who are just passionate and act a lot how they feel.

💧GEMINI VENUS

Here's me again, bashing on Gemini Venuses...but I just can't help it. The Venus sign that I meet and attract the most. From all the people that remarried, had a lot of partners, Venus in Gemini takes the cake. But what I do respect about them is they will not stay in something they're unhappy with for a long time, they have very high standards and will not dumb them down for anyone. They will always find something better and more exiting and that's why they are known to "change" partners and be "promiscuous". Yep, many are jealous of them at the end of the day aswell.

💧LIBRA RISING

I've never met a Libra rising that doesn't have q nice behind! I know that sounds kinda creepy, but it's true. Since Libra rules the lower back, they all have a more rounder rear. The also have amazing skin most of the time. A very plump and glowy face.

💧NEPTUNE IN THE 12TH HOUSE

This can indicate a very cloudy person. They can be very inactive and procrastinate a lot, but at the same time be highly intelligent and artsy people. I mean Neptune does feel at home in the 12 house, so in my opinion if you're going to have any planet in this house, Neptune it is.

💧MALES WITH VENUS IN THE 1ST HOUSE

Now, I know it's such a strange placement to bash since this is a very fond placement to me and close to my heart. But I've noticed a lot of men having this placement can be confused with this feminine energy in their chart. They are very beautiful, don't get me wrong, but when this placement is mixed with a water sun/moon and a fire Mars it's a death penalty. They know they're  beautiful and girls get caught up in that trap of emotional intelligence and an attractive face. They also can be a little shallow. I've seen many guys leave the girl they have the most in common with for just a pretty face so they can show her off as a trophy and then go after the other, but still message and crave the one they truly felt something.

💧TAURUS VENUS IN MALES

The thing that gets them the most if a fruity and playful perfume, long bouncy hair and back scratches...trust me.

💧SUN SQUARE JUPITER

A lot goes on in a day of a person who has this aspect. In one corner ypu want to achieve everything and anything, work your ass of and show your strong ego. In the other corner you are so sick of being the more responsible person and want to just run away. They also have an intense feeling about failure. They should lean from it, not run away.

[blueishspace]

Third part of my Pearl Double Life pov rewatch/ analysis.

The finale.

P1 / P2

Episode 5. Reunion.

Session 5, finally, Pearl and Scott working together again and it doesn't really look bad, like they act way more calmly then I expected them to. Like, Pearl's ends session 4 on absolute low and yet... She's ok? She's there with Scott and Cleo making jokes about other people and not being mean to eachother whatsoever. All antagonism in this section is done by Pearl in the form of slightly suggesting they aren't friends in front of BigB and even then she's not even being serious about it. She has gone full circle, lost her mind so much she's back to normal or something... And then she goes manic again but it was nice while it lasted.

And then Scar comes again, this time with cactus, and Pearl despite being completely chill with Scott, the pettiest member of the life series, at this point in time and she still jumps onto cactus. Not even for Scott, not really, I don't think she even tought of him during the whole thing. She literally jumps on the cactus for fun and no other reason whatsoever.

And the thing is Scott and Cleo haven't called Pearl insane in the whole session, earlier Cleo called her "ultrasonic" over saying she's insane. They are clearly trying to not use that specific word around her for her sake. And when he tells Grian and Scar to leave he corrects himself and tells Pearl to make them leave, ultimately giving Pearl the final say. But Grian and Scar don't really care, they play it up, it is the perfect plan because "no one wants to deal with Pearl's insanity" and only then does Cleo use to word and they do so only to say that they have.

While Scar and Grian use Pearl's insanity as a way to scare off reds... Trying multiple times and then ditch her... Scott and Cleo bring her aside and give her enderpearls to give her a chance to escape. Sure It's strategic since Scott and Pearl share health but Grian and Scar are litterally horrible to her and nobody ever cares. Justice for Pearl!

Episode 6 p.1 Something wicked.

This session starts with a bit of espionage, I forgot about that actually... This rewatch is making me notice how I forgot about older series... Still there is surprisingly little Scott-Pearl interactions that are either negative or very positive... Except she says to the reds that Scott and Cleo wouldn't trust her and she's straight up lying about that because she just said that she has connection with them at all. Also she's really good at lying because to trow off suspicion she pretends they are there listening in when they are not as far she knows.

Also the red keep killing her dogs, she's not having a good time, she's having an awful time, she's so distressed she can't even be unhinged.

Episode 6 p.2 The End.

Voilà, they talk about it finally... and it doesn't do anything.

Why? Because they talk about it but don't communicate, they forgive eachother both of them keep the idea they had, they both believe they are fully in the right.

Scott still cannot seem to grasp how hurt Pearl and Pearl cannot see how going to the nether hurt Scott.

So they talk but no communication actually happens.

Still this brings me to Wild Life, Pearl makes sarcastic comments about Double Life despite her forgiving Scott at this specific point in time so uh alright... And then Scott dies and she with him. And she ditches him as karma, despite forgiving him.

Also, Scott suggests the Tilly death do us apart here. It's not something that he comes up with in the last confrontation. It's a thing he and Pearl come up together with at this specific point in time while they split off.

Finally half a session, the finale. I think there's not much to say that hasn't been said already. But neither of them expected to win, Scott choice is made in a rush because something he didn't expect happened and he just happened to have tnt. This could have gone so differently if he didn't. Some people say that "Tilly death do us apart" upon inspection doesn't really makes sense as a line but he didn't really have time to come up with a different one did he? Again, them winning was not expected. So he said something he and Pearl come up with at the start of the session and stuck with it.

[ellzilla]

An extreme warning for everyone in the Creepypasta community, especially the Creeps Comic sub-community

This is a post 6 years too late, but I've finally gained the courage to speak up. Trigger Warning for: Pedophillia, child grooming, suicide and beastiality There are two manipulative pedophiles in the creepypasta community that go by the name Kori [Konpeito-Starfox on tumblr, korgifemboi on discord] and Michael [kitsuneaniki on discord] who have: Dated a minor, have been sexual in the presence of minors, exposed minors to hardcore pornography and have drawn pornography FOR minors. When I was 15 back in 2018, I was invited to a creepypasta discord after I was found because of my Old LJ ask blog. I remember Kori and Michael [Trixi at the time] were 21 and 24-25 and were 'tame' at first, but they slowly became more and more sexual as months went by. A few raunchy jokes turned into full on porn posting. They talked about sexual situations with Creeps characters with two 16 year olds and a 17 year old. I felt uncomfortable with it, but I couldn't get why. This next part may be worded poorly, as it's extremely emotionally hard on me to bring up the memories, but I'll try my best and will be the most coherent I can make it. As a dumbass 15 year old, I didn't get the difference between being gay and being sexual due to the homophobic town and family I've grown up around I had never been told otherwise, so I thought it was fine, that lgbt people in their 20's being highly sexual around and directly to lgbt teenagers was fine! Everyone was happy! And me bringing up the uncomfortableness was just me brining everyone down! But then Kori and Michael made porn for a 16 year old's oc having sex with their sonas. And something in me finally shouted "Something is wrong." I didn't know how to word it, but I approached my family [good!] and said "My friends are being a little too gay, what should I say?" [bad!!!] and so I was told "tell them to stop that." And so, in I said "can you stop being gay?" in an attempt to say "hey stop being sexual" [I know, I know, point and laugh at 15 year old me for being confused] and obviously got kicked out for that. There was shit said by them that made me want to commit suicide [thought I must stress they never directly told me to kms] And then got death and rape threats that MIGHT have been from them on my old LJ ask blog after that, but that's a side note. In the same year, the 16 year old who was given porn of their oc, [who I will refer to as Victim 1 and censored in black] started dating Kori and Michael. Note: Victim's 1's birthday is in October and this screenshot is from September

It is of note that Kori and Michael are extremely manipulative and hav convinced Victim 1, that it's better to lie to me and tried to say they were 17 when they started dating, despite me knowing their age and not correcting another [I will refer to as Victim 2 and censored in red] mentioned it in a conversation. There are two other victims who I will also censor the names of.

Below is a continuation of this conversation to show that Kori and Michael have convinced Victim 1 that them showing porn to minors is okay.

I also showed Victim 1 that what Kori and Michael did is VERY ILLEGAL, let alone immoral, but was brushed off. Granted, I should have showed him more but I was rushing to the hospital because of my heart issues and was not thinking straight due to the stress.

Michael has also been proven to quite literally speak for Victim 1 as well. [The sibling comment was because they thought Victim 2's [trans] sister was Victim 2 referring to me]

This is the end of the post, and I hope this is enough to show how much of a threat Kori and Michael are to minors, but I physically cannot show the mountain pile of trauma without putting myself in a medical emergency. There is far more receipts of Kori and Michael's emotional manipulation, but again, if this post went on for too much longer I could end up in the hospital because of them and I don't want it to be a fourth time. If you or someone you know are friends with Kori and Michael, please distance yourself from these pedophiles and show your friend this post. If I could, I would personally report them to the police, however they are in America and I am in Australia with no knowledge of how to report across-seas. If you can, please report them to the proper authorities, although I do not know if they can get into legal trouble for what they did to us years ago, it will stop any on-going child grooming. Please note, I will not be mentioning this or replying to anyone specifically IN MY INBOX until AFTER I recover from making this post. Do not send me anon messages if you're going to tell me something private, instead, message me. If you have a public issue with this post, say it with your chest and off anon. Before this hell is through, I have three more screenshots to share. One of Victim 2 being shown drawn Beastiality while they were still a minor [I have been informed Victim 2 was still 16], one of Kori [with a pfp of LJ having sex with Will in a server full of minors] mocking me while I was still 16 and against them being sexual [and mocking me for my LJ design and having a non-sexual lizard hyperfix], and a miscellaneous message of Michael admitting he likes dog genitalia and mocking me for not liking porn but being fine with gore. WHILE I WAS STILL A MINOR. I will put them under the cut as two of them are censored but still visual images of nsfw. IF YOU ARE A MINOR, DO NOT CONTINUE THE POST AND PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE.

Grown ass adults talking to and about children...

[mylostloversbookmarks]

thank you!! My request is: Joel x female reader. Age gap. They met after Joel and Ellie arrived in Jackson, they started to know each other, at first they kept it a bit like a secret but then, when things started to get more serious, they didn’t hide anymore. Things got so serious that after a while (not immediately, like a year or two) Joel asked reader to move in with him and Ellie.

Ellie loves reader and she’s more than happy that Joel found his special someone. Could you add a scene where reader is with Ellie one afternoon and they see Joel with a woman, acting really intimate, which connects to reader’s thoughts about Joel being a bit weird the previous days. She thinks he’s cheating on her, also because the woman is really close and intimate to Joel in that situation.

She wants to leave before he sees her but Joel notices her presence, tries to talk to her but doesn’t deny the accusations at first, (so a lot of angst!!!) which makes reader think she lost the love of her life.

They don’t talk for a few days and try to ignore each other when possible, despite living together. Ellie is sad and suffers from this situation. Joel loves reader too much to ruin things so he puts his pride aside and tries talking to her. They eventually talk it through, he was not cheating (choose whatever the alternative to that is!!) maybe a little fluff at the end or also something else? You choose!

also, if you have any rules or have triggers about something that I requested please let me know and change the story how you need to.

And I’m extremely sorry if this request is too long and detailed.

thank you!!!

Guiding Lights - a Joel Miller one shot.

Characters - Joel Miller x Reader

Word Count - 8.7K

Warnings/Tags - 18+ only Minors dni. Typical canon language, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Alcohol consumption, , Sus!Joel, Soft!Joel, insecurities, suspected cheating, no actual cheating, I think thats all?

A/N - @addictedtotlou This is my first ever fic request and I cannot thank you enough for sending it through, and also for dropping into my inbox to let me know it was you that requested it! I'm sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy <3

Feedback, Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!

You often find yourself reminiscing on the day you met Joel and Ellie, it feels like forever ago now, though it has only really been a few years.

The winters in Wyoming were never kind, but that year, Mother Nature had been particularly cruel. Strong winds and vicious snow blizzards reduced visibility to almost nothing. You had heard those posted to the lookout stations talking over lunches and complaining about how bad the conditions were getting.

So in a bid to keep the good folks of Jackson safe, Tommy and Maria decided to double the number of patrols around the commune in an attempt to keep an eye on the horizon for any potential threats who could be hiding just beyond their sights.

Needless to say, it had been a rather slow work day in the Tipsy Bison, with the usual counting and re-counting of stock, checking on the latest brew of beers and whisky, ensuring everything was going as planned, and cleaning of the already immaculate bar, all finished in record time.

Expecting the usual after-work rush that never came, you sent the other two bar staff over to the mess hall to see if the kitchen needed any help with preparations for tomorrow's meals.

As the two said their goodbyes over their shoulders, you heard one of them mumble a shocked "What the hell?"

With your interest piqued, you stepped out from behind the old wooden bar and crossed the floor to the large square windows at the front of the building. Your eyes followed their gaze and watched as the afternoon patrol crew filed through the large wooden and steel-clad gates of the commune.

You waved as a few of your regulars passed you, a few tipping the brims of their ten-gallon hats. You quickly realised what had drawn your colleagues' attention when your eyes landed on two new faces in the middle of the crew.

The first newcomer was a man; he wore a thick brown winter coat and jeans that looked like they could stand up on their own, and you could see the toe of his work boot was mended with what looked to be duck tape. His eyes were sharp and focused, darting around him as if in search of someone or something.

Instantly, he gave you the impression of someone who had been on the road for quite some time. Having been there yourself, you felt a surge of sympathy for him, but you were still wary of him, not knowing why he had been brought inside the walls.

The second was a girl, whom you assumed to be the man's daughter; she was small and looked to be in her early teens. Strands of her tawny brown hair peek out from under her winter hat. big, bright eyes, taking in her surroundings in wonder, while the man stared straight ahead. The girl seemed to be unaware that all eyes were on her, from those who stood on the street to others standing in shop windows, just as you were.

You followed the other barstaff out to the porch and offered the girl a small smile as your eyes met, she quickly looked away without returning it. It wasn't often that Jackson took in new people, opting to keep off the radar to try and protect what you had here. Maria was on this afternoon's patrol and had no doubt made the call to bring the two into the commune.

As the crew passed, heading further into the small town, you saw the man's head snap to the left, and he opened his mouth.

"Tommy!" he shouted, his deep, booming voice ringing in the silence. In an instant, he was off his horse and running in the direction of the scaffolding that had been put up to repair some of the damage to a neighbouring building.

You watched on in stunned silence as the two men ran towards each other, unsure of what the newcomers intentions were, but before you had made it down the two steps of the porch, the man wrapped his arms around Tommy and began laughing, disbelief colouring the sound.

The two men stood embracing each other, both breathless from laughter, and you knew immediately who the newcomer was. This was Joel, Tommy's brother.

Tommy had spoken of him before; usually after one too many whiskies at the bar, he would open up to you about how guilty he felt about staying off the radio. He would say things like, "It's only a matter of time before he comes looking for me, Y/N; what am I supposed to do? Turn him away?" and "One thing about my big bother is that he's persistent."

You had always offered words of understanding and comfort and almost always cut him off and sent him home after those conversations, knowing that no good could come from him drinking any more alcohol.

Part of being the town's main bar tender was also being a listening ear whenever someone needed it, but with Tommy, it was different. He and Maria had become your closest friends, and you would always be there when either of them needed you, working or not.

You always got the sense that something had happened between the two men that couldn't be fixed. As you watched the brothers reunite, you realised that the thought couldn't be further from the truth.

Maria caught your eye as she dismounted from her horse and jerked her head to the side, beseeching you to join her. You nodded at her and crossed the road to where she was standing, hitching her horse to one of the many posts dotted around town.

"Maria, is that who I think it is?" You asked her quietly, not wanting to draw attention to the conversation.

"Yeah, it is," she spat. "I don't know how the hell he found us out here." She continued, venom dripping from each word.

You knew that Maria had never actually met Joel, but from the stories Tommy had told you both in the early years, she knew what he was capable of and decided then and there that she did not like him. You, on the other hand, had a more objective outlook on things.

You were not involved in the same way Maria was, of course; she and Tommy were married after all, so you could understand her reservations when he opened up about his past with his brother and the things they had done and what they thought they needed to do to survive.

The problem was, Maria had been in Jackson longer than you and Tommy and therefore had less of an idea what a brutal hellscape it was outside the walls. Maria wasn't stupid; she knew that it was dangerous, but it had been so long since she had to live like that, to really be surviving, not trusting anyone you met along the way, not knowing where your next meal was coming from, or if you were going to make it to worry about the next meal.

You, on the other hand, had lived that life for longer than you would like to remember, and though you didn't have innocent blood on your hands, they were far from clean. So you could sympathise with Tommy and the demons that clearly kept him up at night. So you felt the hatred that Maria has for Joel was a little unfounded.

"I'm happy he found him again," you admitted, unable to help the undercurrent meant by your works. What you really wanted to say was "This should have happened a long time ago if you had let him respond to Joel's calls on the radio" Meeting her narrowed eyes, you saw a flash of anger in them. No doubt you will get an earful for that comment later.

You knew what she was going to say: that Joel wasn't going to fit in here in Jackson, that Tommy was better off without him, and that you should keep a safe distance from him. But she didn't have the opportunity, as Tommy was already walking towards the two of you.

Joel had walked back to where the girl waited on her horse; a worried, almost disappointed expression crossed her face as he gestured towards Tommy. You watched as he gently helped her down from the animal, making sure she was steady on her feet before the pair followed behind Tommy.

"Y/N, Maria, ah… this is my big brother, Joel," Tommy announced, his tone a mixture of pride and nervousness.

"Hey, it's good to finally meet you; I've heard a lot about you." You smiled kindly at him; he nodded once in response, his expression guarded.

"I'm Ellie! It's nice to meet you," the girl chirps cheerily before shoving her elbow into Joel's ribs. "Joel, say hello," she all but hissed at him, which makes you chuckle.

"It's lovely to meet you, Ellie." You beam.

"It's, uh, good to meet you," he managed quietly.

Two years later...

A loud knock at your front door startles you. Your hand flies to your heart as you curse under your breath. Who the hell would be calling on you at this hour of the morning?

You pad down the hallway and open the door to find Joel standing there, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He seemed keyed up, and your heart drops to your stomach; something must have happened.

"Hey, is everything okay? Did something happen? Is Ellie alright?" You squeaked at him, the panic rising in your chest causing your voice to go up an octave.

"Yes, darlin, everything's fine, Ellie's good; don't worry; I just need to talk to you about something, that's all," he assured you in his thick Texas drawl.

"Everything's good… but you need to talk to me about something at 6 a.m." You questioned him dubiously, arching an eyebrow at him.

"I promise everything is fine; I have morning patrol and was hoping I could catch you before I head out," Joel explains, the ghost of a smile playing on his plump lips.

"Ah, okay, that makes sense, sorry; c'mon, handsome." You laugh as you open the door for him to enter and close it after him.

He follows you down the hall into the small kitchen, lingering in the doorway and studying you. You can feel his eyes roaming your figure as you pour him a cup of coffee. Strong, black, no sugar—just the way he likes it.

Turning with the mug in your hand, you let out a breathy laugh at the sight of him. He looked wired, far too awake for this hour of the morning. Was he sweating?

"Joel, baby, are you alright?" You ask curiously as you hand him his coffee and take your usual seat at the end of the dining table.

"Yeah, I just…I wanna ask you something but I don't know how" he confessed sheepishly, his large hand coming to scratch nervously at the back of his neck.

"I'd like to think you know me well enough by now to know you can ask me anything." You said it with a smile, hoping to calm whatever was causing his nerves.

"Yeah, no, I know, I just don't want to freak you out; there's no pressure, and I understa-"

"Just spit it out, Joel." You interrupt him. In the two years you had been with Joel, you had never seen him struggle for words with you, and it was making you anxious.

"Okay," he huffs out, pulling the dining room chair out so he could sit facing you. He takes a long drink of coffee before continuing, and the suspense is killing you.

"So I was speaking to Ellie, and you know we both love you; hell, sometimes I think she likes you more than she likes me!" He chuckles fondly: "Look, we've been seeing each other for a while, and now that everyone knows, I think it would be good, you know, f-for Ellie if she had a…I dunno, like a mother figure on a more permanent basis." The words were falling out of his mouth like an avalanche. He desperately hoped he was making sense, but you still weren't understanding.

"Permenant basis? What do you mean?" You ask, confusion clear on your face, making him laugh again.

"Yeah, like on an everyday basis," he enphasises. Urging you to grasp the meaning of his words.

"Okay, um, I mean, yeah, I think that's a great idea. I love that kid. I will tell her about making an effort to hang out every day." You promise him sincerely and are touched that he thinks of you as a mother figure to his daughter.

"That's not really what I was thinking, baby; I mean, on a permanent basis, like you would live in the same house." He husks softly, his eyes searching your face for your reaction, and his heart sinks to his boots as he watches your brows knit together.

"Did you have another fight?" You ask him, reaching your hand up to stroke the side of his face, your thumb lingering on the heart-shaped patch of his beard where the hair refused to grow. "Ellie's always more than welcome to stay here when she likes, but Joel, I don't think her moving in here is the answer."

He takes your hand from his face and holds it between both of his; he huffs all the air from his lungs and slowly takes another deep breath. Straightening in his chair, he locks eyes with you.

"I knew this would be an easy ask, but I didn't imagine you making it this hard on me," he says exasperatedly, huffing out another loud laugh.

"I don't understand." Confusion layers your tone, and you are sure your face is doing the same.

"I'm not asking if Ellie can move in with you; I'm asking if… if you would like to move in with us Y/N" He admits. His brown eyes are soft and lingering on your face, and his thumb is tracing small circles on your wrist.

This was not the conversation you were expecting to have over your morning coffee; your brain was barely functioning, and your mind started to race. The last two years of your life, with Joel and Ellie passing by before you in a blur of colours and memories.

You had sympathised with Joel's struggles to adjust to life in Jackson, and given that you worked in the only bar in town, he quickly became a familiar face. You ignored Maria's warnings to stay away from him; after all, she didn't know him from Adam, and you felt it was unfair to judge someone on the things they had done as the world fell apart overnight.

So, slowly but surely, you found yourself at work, hoping each night that he would stop in so you could get to know him better, and he always did. Always opting to sit at the bar, despite there being plenty of more comfortable booths to sit at.

At first, it was always you who initiated the conversation, asking him how his day was, how the patrol had gone, and how Ellie was fitting in, and you listened tentatively to what little information he would give you. Until eventually, after a couple of months of the same routine, he started to open up to you.

He would ask you how you were, how your shift had been, if you had a good day off, and on occasion he would let slip that he "missed you yesterday" when he called in for a drink on his way home from patrol, only to be disappointed that you were nowhere to be found.

It made you giddy; he was on your mind constantly; it made you feel like there was a swarm of butterflies in your belly, but you thought it was only harmless flirting as there was a considerable age gap between you both, with Joel being in his fifties and you in your early thirties, you didn't think Joel would be interested in a relationship with you.

But how wrong you were! After a couple of weeks of late-night drinks after the bar had officially closed, Joel had bitten the bullet and asked you out, though he asked if you wouldn't mind keeping it between the two of you as he didn't know how Ellie would react to him seeing someone and you gladly accepted.

You understood that Ellie was and always would be his first priority, and you admired his unwavering dedication to her, especially after finding out that Ellie wasn't his blood relative; he had taken her on as "cargo," as he affectionately put it. As a way to get one step closer to finding his brother, but she had worked her way under his skin, much like she did with everyone she met. It was so difficult not to like her. With her quick wit and foul mouth, she never failed to make you laugh. She was definitely his daughter, blood or no blood.

The thought of Ellie brings your mind back to the question at hand: should you move in with them? Was now the right time? Was Ellie even okay about this? Did she even know Joel had asked you? Each question raced through your mind until your mouth found one it could form words around.

"What does Ellie think of this?" You asked Joel intently, reading his face for any signs of worry or panic at your question, but there were none to be found.

"I mentioned to Ellie a few months ago that I thought it would be nice if you were around all the time, and she agreed, and then I sat her down yesterday and told her that I was thinking of asking you today, and she was all for it. I don't want you to feel pressured in any way, though; it's okay if it's too soon; you can say no, and we won't be offended in the slightest!" Joel assures you, his voice is low and genuine.

He lifts his right hand to the side of your face and gently brushes the hair out of your eyes, his calloused thumb stroking back and forth as you lean into his touch, allowing your eyes to fall closed. Taking a deep breath, you throw caution to the wind.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, your voice drops to a whisper. "Yes, I'll move in."

Suddenly your body was moving, and not by its own volition; your eyes were still closed, so your brain was having trouble registering what was happening. When your eyes flashed open in surprise, you were caught up in Joel's arms, spinning around your small kitchen with your feet no longer planted on the floor.

"Joel!" You squeal through breathy laughter, placing your hands on his broad shoulders to steady yourself.

"Are you sure, baby?" He asks, his eyes sparkling with delight.

"Yes, I'm sure handsome, but I have one condition!" You warn him, arching a fluffy brow.

"Name your price, sweetheart," he smirks at you through the whiskers of his full moustache.

"I get to tell Ellie," You beam back at him, your hand rests on the back of his neck, fingers scractching lightly at the curls that have formed there.

"I think she'd like that," he ghosts against your lips, lightly brushing his nose against your own until you lean up and crush your mouth to his.

Three years later...

It has been a hectic few weeks for the community in Jackson, working through yet another savage winter. You were just through the middle of it, and the end was in sight. The snow storms were not as frequent and the winds were not as wild.

Work has been keeping you busy. You are still the main bartender at the Tipsy Bison, but much to Joel's dismay, you have also picked up a few patrol shifts to lend a hand to Tommy as a few of the older patrol crew stepped back into other work duties due to ill health.

It has felt like months since you and Joel have spent any quality time together, despite living in the same house and working in the same community. Whenever you were both home, he seemed distant and preoccupied, as if there was somewhere else he wanted to be. You tried to engage him in conversation, but he would only give you short answers before retreating into his own thoughts.

At first, you thought that he might just be stressed out from work duty or the weather, as bad as it has been, but as the days turned into weeks, you started to feel a growing sense of unease. You have never seen Joel act this way before, not with you at least, and you don't know what to do.

You miss his closeness; the late-night conversations at the bar while you finished up your shift—all of that has stopped, and no matter how many hours you spent trying to figure out why, you always came up blank.

So needless to say, you were looking forward to spending some quality time with Ellie this evening to help take your mind off your worries. You had stood under the shower for longer than you intended, just enjoying how the steaming water rolled down your tense frame.

With a sigh, you shut off the water and wrapped yourself in your towel, headed into your bedroom to get dressed, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude that the house had heating, an especially rare commodity with the world's current condition. Jackson really was a paradise of sorts.

"Ellie! C'mon kiddo, we're going to be late for the movie!," You shout from the bottom of the stairs, shrugging into your winter jacket.

Movie night Fridays have quickly become a tradition for you and Ellie, especially now that the winter has rolled back around and it's too cold to spend much time outdoors.

"Alright, I'm coming; Jesus, keep your hair on!" Ellie mutters as she makes her way down the stairs, where you wait for her.

"We only have 20 minutes before the film starts, and I know you're going to want to get snacks, so we've got to make tracks." You laugh as she rolls her eyes at you.

"Alright Mom," she mocks, sarcasm dripping from each word.

"You're such a little shit, you know that, right?" You tell her fondly with a warm smile.

"I know, it's all part of my charm," she grins.

"Ah, I see, and does Dina know all about your charm?" You playfully jab her ribs with your elbow, wagging your brows up and down.

"Ugh, you're so annoying; you know that, right?" Ellie counters, always so quick-witted.

"I know, it's all part of my charm," You repeat her words back to her, earning another eye roll.

The two of you leave the house and trudge out into the snow; thankfully, the blizzard has calmed, and now fat, fluffy flakes of snow flurry around you like something from a movie scene.

As brutal as they can be, you have never seen anything more beautiful than Jackson in the winter. It was like something you would see on a postcard of a ski village in the French Alps, all timber buildings and string lights illuminating the small town.

On Friday nights, the mess hall was turned into a makeshift movie theatre for the youth that lived in the commune, offering them some respite from the grind of daily life. It was complete with candy, drinks, and, of course, pop corn.

At first, Ellie hadn't seemed all that interested in going, not knowing many kids her age, but after a lot of coaxing and the promise that if she didn't like it, she didn't have to go again or even stay for the full movie, Though she quickly found her feet with Dina, the rest was really history.

"Where's Joel tonight? I thought he was going to come with us." Ellie asked curiously.

"Oh shit, I meant to tell you earlier; he said Tommy asked him to cover the evening patrol tonight, so he can't make it." You explained, not really sure why Tommy needed him to cover after already doing the afternoon patrol, but it must have been important, so you didn't give it a second thought.

You and Ellie walk in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the peaceful walk through town. You were about to ask her how she was getting on with her work detail when she came to a standstill.

"I thought you said Joel was on patrol tonight?" she demanded, her face contorting in confusion.

"Uh yeah, Ellie, I just told you that." You confirm, your own confusion mirroring hers.

"Then what the fuck is he doing in the bar?" She fumes, gesturing behind you to the window of the Tipsy Bison.

Sure enough, there he sits at the bar with Jenna. Joel was nursing a whisky, and she was playfully peeling back the homemade label of her beer bottle. They are sitting in the corner booth by the window, leaning towards each other to the point where their heads are far too close to be appropriate.

In that moment, your breathing stopped. Your stomach sank to the floor, and an overwhelming sense of panic and dread began to claw viciously from your chest up your throat, resting heavy on your tongue.

"Are you okay?" Ellie asks nervously, not really sure what to do or say in this situation. It could be nothing, but even to her, it definitely looked like something.

"Y-yeah, I'm good. Ellie, why don't you go on down to the mess hall, and I'll meet you there in a few?" You tell her more than ask, your eyes never leaving the window.

"No way fuck that I'm staying with you!" she demands, her eyes growing wet around her long lashes.

"No, Ellie, I need to talk to Joel; I will catch up with you in a few, okay?" You meet her eyes and nod in the direction of the mess hall. She only nods in response; your tone is final as she turns on her heel and storms towards the makeshift movie theatre.

What the fuck is happening right now? You trusted Joel; it never bothered you when the ladies in Jackson would bat their eyes at him or when their glances lingered a little too long. You took it as a compliment; hell, if you were them, you would stare too.

Your relationship was built on a foundation of honesty and trust from the very beginning. You have told him things you have never shared with another living soul, and he has done the same with you. Never in your life did you think you would be lucky enough to share a connection with someone the way you have with Joel, let alone after the world had ended.

And now here you stand in the middle of town, watching the man you love cosy up with another woman in plain sight, not even having the decency to try and hide it from you.

You stand there for another few minutes, watching how he leans across the table to talk to her, laughing and caressing his arm in response. It sets fire to your blood, and you can feel it moving like molten lava in your veins.

You're moving before you realise you have made the decision to do so, your feet carrying you furiously forward, up to the short creaking steps and through the entrance to the bar, and then there you are, looming over their table. Your eyes bore holes into his skull. He jumps in his seat and scrambles frantically to hide the notebook that was sitting open on the table between them. You didn't pay it a second glance.

"I didn't realise the bar needed patrolling this evening," you state pointedly at him, ignoring Jenna, who is doing everything she can to avoid eye contact with you, fidgeting in her seat, and clambering to get her things together. Grabbing her coat and scarf from beside her.

"Hey darlin, I thought you and Ellie were heading to the movies." He asks, his voice rough with his attempts to hide his nerves.

"We were on our way there when she saw this cosy scene from the street." You gesture with your hand towards the table, your voice icy as you let your hand drop to your side with an audible slap, which made Jenna flinch.

"I think I'm going to head out…" Jenna murmurs in a small, quiet voice, still avoiding your gaze.

"That is a wise decision" You agreed without taking your eyes of Joel.

She throws Joel a cryptic glance before clambering out of her seat and quickly making her way to the door, shooting Joel an apologetic glance over her shoulder, which only fuels the rage bubbling up in your throat.

"What the fuck?" You growl at him, doing your best to keep your voice under control. The last thing you wanted was to cause a scene. Especially not at your workplace, regardless of whether you were on shift or not.

"What's wrong with you?" he asks, genuinely confused by your anger.

"Please tell me you're joking," you seethe.

"What? I can't have a drink with a friend." He scoffs, incredulous.

"Seriously Joel? Since when have you had to lie about working to have a drink with a friend?"

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?" he countered, avoiding the question.

"No, I really don't think I am. How could you do this? How could you do this in front of Ellie?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Joel huffs back at you, his eyes never leaving yours.

Your eyes begin to prick with anger fuelled tears; the feeling of betrayal rips through you, leaving you exposed to his hard gaze. You can't take any more of this. It feels like the room is closing in around you. That you will suffocate if you don't leave right now. You look at him once more, and the fact that he hasn't denied it or assured you that this is anything other than what you fear it to be ,allows your world to crumble around you.

"Alright," you manage in a broken whisper that comes out as a choked sob.

With that, you turn and bolt for the door, desperately gasping for air but unable to get enough to fill your lungs. You have to brace yourself on the railing of the porch. You can feel his eyes on you as he watches you leave from where he sits frozen at the table, but he makes no move to follow after you.

Willing your legs to move, you push off the railing and slowly make your way to the mess hall, slipping in just as the movie is starting. You can see Ellie is sitting in the middle of the crowded room, and she has saved you a seat beside her.

You make your way to the restroom, taking in your reflection for the first time that evening. Your face is red and splotchy from crying, your eyes puffy, and your lips swollen from your teeth worrying at them. With shaking hands, you reach out to turn the tap on, splashing the icy cold water over your face as you try to make sense of what has just unfolded.

You knew Jenna; she is one of the few people trained in blacksmithing in Jackson, but you had never been especially close with her. She would frequent the bar and chat with you about her work day and vice versa, but that was the extent of your relationship with her, and you have never seen Joel interact with her. It just didn't make sense; why would he throw everything away for a fling with someone who lives in the same commune? Did he really think you wouldn't find out?

You do your best to shake the thoughts from your head, focused on spending the rest of the evening with Ellie, you will do everything in your power to shelter her from this. So with a deep breath, you put a smile on your face and left the restroom, smiling and waving politely at familiar faces as you made your way to your seat, stopping by the makeshift concession stand to grab Ellie some popcorn and a soda on your way.

"Hey, I've got you some snacks, kiddo." You whisper to her, not wanting to interrupt the film.

"Thanks, are you okay?" She murmered with a small smile. Taking the snacks from your outstretched hands.

"Yes, of course everything's fine; there was a mix-up with the patrols, so Joel didn't have to work tonight after all." You reassured her softly.

It cut you to the bone to have to lie to her to cover up his indiscretion because you didn't want her to think any less of him. He is her world, and she is his, and you wouldn't be the one to jeopardise that.

It cut you to the bone to have to lie to her to cover up his indiscretion because you didn't want her to think any less of him. He is her world, and she is his, and you wouldn't be the one to jeopardise that.

You weren't really sure what movie was even playing tonight, so lost in your thoughts that it was just a blurry hum in the background. Ellie had to nudge your shoulder several times to tell you that the movie had was over. Glancing around to find a steady stream of people filing out of the mess hall.

"Sorry, Ellie, I'm just a bit distracted tonight; work has been so hectic recently, and I have so much to do when I open tomorrow." You do your best to laugh it off. Hoping that she will let it go and that she wasn't being as observant tonight as she usually is. The girl misses nothing.

"It's okay, the film was a repeat anyway," she shrugs, not pressing you on the matter, though you know all too well that the questions will come eventually.

"Shall we head home? It sounds like it's getting pretty rough out there," you noted, as another howl of wind wipped around the wooden building.

"Sounds good; I want to have a shower before Joel uses all the hot water again," she ribs in a peel of bright laughter that sends warmth radiating through your now hollow chest.

When you reach the house, you find it in darkness. Joel hasn't made it home yet, and although you are beyond angry, you can't help but worry about him. Of course he can look after himself, but it isn't like him to be out this late if he wasn't on patrol.

The seething voice in the back of your head reminds you that he could be with her. You try to push those thoughts out of your head, but they linger like a dark cloud, casting a grim shadow over what was your perfect - or as perfect as it could be - life.

"I'm going for a shower and then head to bed, you okay?" Ellie asks, once again pulling you from your thoughts.

"Yeah, of course, kiddo, no worries. Do you need anything? You want some tea?" You offer as you head to the stove and place a pot of water on to boil.

"No, I'm good. Thanks though, g'night!" She calls over her shoulder, and then you are alone in the small kitchen.

"Night kiddo," You call quietly to her as you reach for the herbal tea blend that you and Ellie grew in your little garden last summer.

As you wait for the water to boil, your mind starts to race with worry and anxiety. You can't help but think of all the possible scenarios that could be keeping Joel out this late, and the thought of him being with another woman makes you want to break things. You have tried to push those thoughts out of your head so many times this evening, but they keep creeping back.

A few hours later, you are sitting in one of the armchairs in the living room, desperately fighting to keep your eyes open, but in the end you give up, gently placing your book on the coffee table and removing the blanket from your lap. You look at the clock on the wall, and it's just after 3am.

You pad into the kitchen and leave your mug in the sink, too tired to wash it now; that's tomorrow's problem. Heading up the creaky stairs to your bedroom and crawling into the cold sheets. It feels wrong going to bed without Joel by your side, but he is god knows where right now, so you lean over, turn the bedside lamp off, and sink into a restless, uneasy sleep.

You wake to the wintery morning sunshine seeping through your bedroom window. Instinctively, you run your hand across Joel's side of the bed; it's unmade but cold, so he did come home last night, but he was up before you, which is unusual.

Instinctively, you run your hand across Joel's side of the bed; it's unmade but cold, so he did come home last night, but he was up before you, which is unusual.

Slowly sitting up in bed, you stretch your tired bones, sore from your restless few hours of sleep, and swing your legs out of bed. It's only 7 a.m.; you don't usually open the bar until midday, so you have plenty of time to get ready.

You slink down the stairs, careful not to wake Ellie as you do so. Heading into the kitchen mid-yawn, you stop in your tracks as you find Joel standing at the stove, hovering over a pot of boiling water on the closest ring to him.

"Mornin'," he husks without turning; he must have heard you yawning with his good ear to the doorway.

You ignore him, knowing full well that it's petty and childish and ultimately will not resolve anything, but with the way he behaved last night, you feel the cold shoulder is justified.

You both continue with your morning rituals in silence. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but you didn't know where to begin broaching the subject, and the more you stewed over it, the more you felt he should be the one to open the conversation with an explanation, but if you were being totally honest with yourself, you were beginning to worry that you may have jumped to conclusions.

But when you thought about the way they were huddled together, her hand on his arm, and the way she tipped her head back in laughter at each thing he said, the pit in your stomach grew. As did the silence between you.

Things went on like this for days, with the two of you skirting around each other and avoiding eye contact. Only speaking to each other when absolutely necessary, like dinner times, and giving each other your work duties for the week.

You could see the effect this was having on Ellie; she has been especially quiet the last few days, so once Joel leaves for work, you sit with her on the couch and try to get her to open up.

"Ellie, is everything okay?" you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

"I don't know. You and Joel have been acting weird lately, and it's making me tense." She shrugs, not meeting your gaze.

You take a deep breath, knowing that you can't keep avoiding the issue. "Yeah, we've been having some problems. But it's nothing you need to worry about, kiddo."

"It doesn't seem like nothing," she retorts. "You guys haven't spoken in days. It's not like you."

"I know, Ellie. I just don't know how to fix it." You sigh.

"Maybe you could start by talking to him," she suggests.

"It's not that simple, Ellie. There's a lot going on." You shake your head.

"Well, maybe it would help if you talked to me about it," she offers.

"Thanks, Ellie. But it's not something I can really discuss with you. Just know that Joel and I are working through some things and we'll get through it." You smile softly at her, grateful for her kindness.

She nods, not looking convinced but not pressing the issue. You sit in silence for a moment before she stands up. "I'm gonna head out for a bit. Need to clear my head."

"Okay, kiddo. Be safe," you say, watching her leave.

You're left alone in the quiet house, the weight of your problems still heavy on your shoulders. You know Ellie is right; you need to talk to Joel. But the thought of confronting him is daunting, and you don't know if you want to hear what he has to say.

What if he doesn't want you anymore? What if he's not happy and hasn't been for a while?

You decide that enough is enough. After work this evening, you are going to speak to him and attempt to clear the air, hear his side of the story, and try to move forward, if not for the sake of your relationship but for Ellie. It's not fair to have this weighing on her shoulders; it's not her fault, and you hate seeing her unhappy, and you know that Joel will feel the same about his if nothing else.

The workday drags on uneventfully; the only thing standing out was that Jenna had come to the bar for the first time since that evening. She gave you a small smile, and you returned it with a polite nod. You were at work after all and took it upon yourself to remain as professional as possible.

Jenna approaches the bar and orders her usual, which you pour for her without issue, though it makes your skin itchy to be this close to her.

"Have you spoken to Joel yet?" she asks quietly. Wiping her fingertips across the bartop.

You stare at her blankly; the audacity of this woman boggles your mind.

"No," you respond curtly.

"Okay, well, when you do, come and find me. We'll have a lot to discuss." She states matter-of-factly, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

Before you have the chance to give her a piece of your mind, she is walking away from the bar, her long auburn hair swishing to her lower back. What the fuck is her problem?

You try to get through the rest of your day without dwelling on the conversation you had with Jenna, focusing more on the impending conversation you are going to have with Joel this evening. Thinking about what you were going to say to him, how you were going to explain how you felt, and how hurt you have been over the last few days.

You lock up the bar and head towards home for the evening, taking a little more time than you usually would, feet dragging, dreading the fight that would likely ensue once you had spoken to him. You tell yourself you will keep a level head, but you know deep down your temper would not allow that to happen if he gave you some bullshit excuse.

As you approach the small, snow-covered pathway that leads to the back porch of your home, you pause there, unable to bring yourself to go inside. So you take a seat on the second step and watch the flurries of fluffy snow as they make their way through the air to join the pillowy blanket that covers everything in sight.

You sit there for what feels like hours. Jackson was always quiet; it needed to be in order to keep what you have here safe, but as you sit in the darkness, the only light coming from the dim porch light and the light seeping through the thin linen curtains from the living room, it feels eerily silent and still. The sound of the backdoor creaking open made you jump. The heavy footsteps that followed, however, were all too familiar.

"You gonna stay out here all night?" He asked quietly, his voice low and soft.

"No, I was just… well, I don't really know what I was doing." You offer a small laugh, void of any humour.

Joel takes a few steps and groans loudly as he lowers himself to join you where you sit. He is quiet for a few moments until he finally speaks.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the other night and how it must have looked. I'm sorry for not explaining to you then and there what it was; I didn't want to tell you, and I still don't really. But I promise you on my life that it is not what you think it is, Darlin," he says softly, regret heavy in his tone.

"I don't understand Joel; I just want to understand what the fuck has been going on," you pleaded, hating how desperate your voice sounded.

"I know, baby, and I'm going to tell you. I just didn't want to ruin the surprise. I also didn't want to tell you without speaking to Ellie first, but I spoke to her at dinner, and now she understands." He assures you, his hand coming up to brush your cold cheek for the first time in days, and it was impossible not to lean into the heat of his palm.

"Okay, so now everyone knows but me, why were you all cozied up with Jenna? Why did you lie to me about going to work?" You challenged him, removing your face from his touch.

"Hold on," he huffs, shifting his weight to one hip as he fishes for something in his back pocket before continuing. "It will make more sense once you see this, or I hope it will at least," he offers as he hands you a beaten-up, leather-bound note book.

"What is this?" You ask him, you remember seeing it on the table in the bar the other night.

"Would you just open it?" he sighs, rubbing his hand through his patchy whiskers nervously.

You do as he says and open the notebook, and what you find takes you aback. The notebook is filled almost front to back with little sketches of rings and little notes about different metals and gems in his familar handwriting and another that you don't recognize.

"Wh-what is this?" You repeat, stunned. So many thoughts racing through your mind and you are beggining to realise that you have completely misread the situaiton the other night.

"I know I was going to have to tell you about it eventually, you know for your size and all but I was planning to do that after I asked you…but then with the other night I wasn't sure what to say and I was kind of pissed off that you where angry at me, I didn't stop to think that you weren't in on the secret and what it must have looked like to you," Joel's hand came to rest on your knee squeezing reassuringly as he explained the circumstances that lead to what you saw in the bar.

"I have been meeting up with Jenna over the last few weeks, she's the only blacksmith in Jackson that used to make jewelry…specifically engagement rings," he paused allowing his words to sink in before finishing his explination.

"We've been trying to figure out how to make you one, what metals mix well from what I have found on supply runs, whether to hold off if I could find a stone or a gem, or if we could make it without one,"

You stare at him, a mix of astonishment and disbelief washing over you. The pieces start to fall into place, and you realize the truth behind Joel's actions. The anger and hurt that had consumed you begin to melt away, replaced by a flood of emotions, the most promanent being embarrassment.

"You were planning to… ask me?" you stutter, your voice barely a whisper. The weight of your accusation hangs heavy in the air as you struggle to comprehend the situation.

"Yeah, I was. I've been saving up for months, looking for the right opportunity, and I wanted it to be a surprise. Jenna's been helping me because she's skilled at crafting intricate pieces. I wanted to make something special for you, something that would last a lifetime." Joel nods, his eyes filled with sincerity.

Tears well up in your eyes as the realization of your mistake dawns upon you. You reach for Joel's hand, intertwining your fingers with his. "Oh, Joel, I'm so sorry," you say, your voice trembling. "I jumped to conclusions without knowing the whole story. I never thought…I feel like such a peice of shit, I'm so sorry"

"It's okay, darlin'. I should've communicated better, explained everything to you beforehand. I understand why you were upset." He squeezes your hand gently, his thumb caressing your knuckles.

"But why did you lie about going to work?" you inquire, still wanting to grasp every detail.

"We thought it would be best if we kept it a secret until it was ready. And I didn't want you to suspect anything. I wanted the proposal to be a surprise, and I was afraid if I told you I was hanging out with Jenna, you'd figure it out before I had the chance." He shrugged.

"Joel, I can't believe you're doing this. You've put so much thought and effort into making something special for us. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. I have been so awful to you over the last few days," You let out a shaky breath, your heart filled with a strange mix of relief, shame and joy.

A soft smile graces Joel's lips as he brushes a strand of hair from your face. "Don't say that, sweetheart. You deserve the world, and I want to give it to you. I love you more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Tears stream down your face now, but they're tears of happiness. You lean in and rest your head on Joel's shoulder, feeling the warmth of his presence envelop you. The weight of the misunderstanding lifts, leaving behind a newfound sense of trust and appreciation.

"I love you too, Joel," you whisper, your voice filled with sincerity. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch and for overreacting. I should have known you'd never do anything to hurt me."

"Hey, we all make mistakes, darlin'. It wouldn't be the first time I've got pissed at you for something I misunderstood now is it?." he chuckles quietly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"I guess no ones perfect," you echo his laughter leaning into him further.

As you sit together on the porch steps, surrounded by the beauty of the snowfall, you realize that the snow isn't the only thing that's melting. The icy barriers that had formed between you and Joel are slowly thawing away, leaving behind a comfortable quiet.

"So, now that the cats out of the bag, will you…?" he asks his deep voice thick with emotion.

"Will I what handsome?" You look up at him teasing, your eyes twinkling.

A playful grin tugs at the corners of Joel's mouth as he meets your gaze. "Will you marry me, my beautiful, stubborn, and occasionally misunderstood partner in crime?" he asks, his voice laced with a mixture of nervousness and hope.

Your heart skips a beat at his words, and a surge of excitement courses through you. You pretend to ponder his question, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "Well, I don't know, Joel. I mean, after all that's happened, can I really trust you with my heart?" you tease, a smile playing on your lips.

Joel feigns a look of hurt, placing a hand dramatically over his heart. "Oh, come on now. I've endured snowball fights, kitchen mishaps, you and Ellie ganging up on me and even your questionable taste in movies. If that's not true love, I don't know what is."

Laughter bubbles up from within you, and you lean in closer, pressing your forehead against his. "Joel, you are my love and my rock. Of course, I'll marry you," you say, your voice filled with so much love.

In that peaceful moment, wrapped in the calm of the snowfall and the safety of his strong arms, you realize that there will be silly arguments, misunderstandings and cold shoulders, but you will always find your way back to each other. You let out a sigh of contentment as Joel presses silent kisses against your head, happy to sit here forever wrapped up in him.

Knowing that Joel and Ellie will forever be your guiding lights.

[liv000000]

You reblogged a post about how fanfic writers feel discouraged over negative comments or no comments at all. I hope you haven't been receiving any nasty anons over your work. Idk if you've written for other fandoms but based on how good your HOTD fic is I'd assume you have.

The writing for Family Duty is honestly so good, it's such high quality writing as well. I haven't read fanfics in years and your work blew me away. You got into Helaena's head in a rather interesting and creative way, almost unashamed either and showed how someone as sweet as Helaena can be very nuanced (unfortunate that the HOTD showrunners are scared of that) yet it doesn't feel very OOC. As I was reading I felt dread and anxiety for her which I think is hard to elicit in writing alone. You made her feel very human (Condal could never) reminds me of how Sansa. You wrapped Helaena in many contradicting layers that just make sense for her.

Your prose is lovely and I find myself rereading your fic quite a bit during commute because of that alone. Your attention to detail is unmatched and I love how you managed to remember so many itty bits from the show and book that most people overlooked (like Alicent's reluctance/refusal to betroth her children to each other because incest = sin). you also created many lovely OCs (the ladies in waiting which...Helaena should have but show is too broke i guess).

Just wanted you to know you have a silent fan rooting for you, your fanfic healed me lol.

Sorry if my comment is clunky and not really elegant but I wanted to brighten up your day or make you feel better about your work.

(Also please don't feel like you have to rush anything. Tyt with your work assuming you're still working on it. You're the captain of your fanfic I don't want you to feel like my message is in any way pressuring you yo write or finish anything I just wanted to show you a lot of appreciation especially from a fan that never interacts with fanfics in fandom)

Aww, thank you so much. This seriously made me tear up, and I appreciate your concern deeply. I haven’t received any mean comments; all the feedback I’ve gotten, though few (for a chapter I spent four months on), has been very positive. They all praised what I worked incredibly hard on — Helaena, and her character beyond prophecies and bugs, focusing instead on her internal conflict, which is Aegon. What I was mostly speaking about is how I feel like my work hasn’t reached many people. I think this is partly because I was in another fandom beforehand, where the community was much more actively engaged and still is to this day. The HotD community, on the other hand, seemed to disappear after the finale, which I can’t blame them for, as the season was atrocious, and what they did to Team Green is unforgivable. I also recognise that I need to promote my fanfiction a bit more and make it stand out, as Ao3 is definitely oversaturated, and it’s hard to find what you’re looking for on there. My lovely friend, @immortalthunderstorm, on the other hand, has received ill-intended comments. I’ve seen how hard she works on her story, and it’s beautifully and incredibly written in every aspect. I sigh when people don’t understand what she’s aiming for in her narrative and are unkind toward her OC. I highly encourage you to read her story, as well as those of my other talented moot @serymn31. She also specialises in Helaegon and is a much faster writer than I am.

and, https://archiveofourown.org/works/55743268

I cannot thank you enough for your praise on Helaena and for noticing all the attention to detail. I spent many hours thinking about and writing this, trying to perfect everything to the best of my abilities. Knowing that it hasn’t gone unnoticed truly warms my heart. It reassures me that the time I spent wasn’t wasted, that I am a capable writer when imposter syndrome kicks in, and that I’m making people feel something in this community, which HotD, with its second season, didn’t manage to do beyond causing annoyance. I also want to thank you for comparing Helaena to Sansa. That really made me emotional, as Sansa was my comfort character when I was younger, and as I write this now, I have a little bird necklace around my neck in honour of her. It means so much to know that the connection I’ve drawn to her in Helaena resonates with others and fits the story I wanted to tell. To know it also healed something in you is so beautiful, and I cannot put my feelings into words, as they’re so profound.

Please don’t apologise for your comment. You don’t have to be silent! If you ever want to reach out for recommendations or discuss my fanfic in more detail, you’re more than welcome to do so. Part II is also more than halfway done, but it’s quite long since I struggle to write short chapters and tend to overwrite. I’m also in the middle of the first three chapters of another fanfiction, which will be much larger and more fleshed out. I’m already in love with it! It features the pairing of Aemond and Rhaena and will explore political intrigue, a cat-and-mouse game, tragedy, repressed romance, and a very unusual father-daughter relationship. I hope that interests you or anyone else on here.

You didn’t just make my day, you seriously made my week. I adore you so much for that. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face and brightening my spirits. Your support means the world to me and I’m truly grateful for it. 🩵

[different-pridemonthera]

Hello, I'm not a native English speaker, but as a part of the queer community, I'd love to write a lengthy post to express my thoughts on why I find it absurd for people to criticize an actual canon queer ship for a queerbaiting ship, especially during Pride Month.

Originally thought that since the season finale was coming, I wouldn't make sharp comments anymore. Just wait for Season 8. The ship war that has been bubbling with noise previously is actually quite boring, especially those who can't tell what status virtual characters really are, and insist on picking out character issues, hoping that the character will die as soon as possible. The even lower-intelligence ones are those who can't tell the difference between characters and reality, and rush to attack the actors, trying to drive the actors away. It only leaves people speechless, feeling like I am facing a group of stereotypical teenagers across the network.

Then, as soon as Pride Month rolled around again, the 911 twt community's largest fan news account stirred up controversy by including a photo of Buddie among a group of canon queer characters to celebrate Pride Month. Personally, I don't have strong feelings about it. Firstly, Pride Month is all about inclusivity and acceptance. Secondly, it's a fan account and they can post what they want. Thirdly, Buddie, being one of the hottest queerbaiting ships in the 9-1-1 fandom, would undoubtedly be featured during Pride Month. While this might have happened in previous years too, but this year was different due to a major development in season 7, Buck's bisexual awakening, along with a new canon queer ship bucktommy/tevan that's currently in development.

Firstly, I don't think that just because Buck and Tommy became canon, it means you can't still ship Buddie. Ship culture is basically about shipping anything you want.

However, I also understand why some people might have issues with celebrating Pride Month with Buddie after the Buck and Tommy canon. The reality is many people forget that Buddie is a classic example of queerbaiting (it even made it to Wikipedia's queerbaiting page as a typical case). Or, more accurately, many people don't realize that queerbaiting, as a marketing strategy, is actually harmful to the real LGBTQ+ community. From a queer perspective, queerbaiting is simply a way to attract viewers by consuming the LGBTQ+ community, and the characters involved are essentially detached from reality. In a sense, any interactions they have that seem chemically charged are meaningless. A more specific example would be in Season 7 when Buck comes out, and Oliver, the actor, immediately receives private messages from closeted firefighters thanking him. This kind of thanks would not have happened during any scene between Buck and Eddie in seasons 2-6, especially when both characters had girlfriends. There is almost no real LGBTQ+ person could truly relate to such scenes. However, the possibility implied by queerbaiting exactly hits their desire for resonance. This is why I believe canon is important, only through canon can characters connect most closely with the real LGBTQ+ community. How much can a queerbaiting ship (where Eddie doesn't even have a canon LGBTQ+ character identity) contribute to the real LGBTQ+ community? Especially when fans of this queerbaiting ship hope that a canon queer ship with a clear positive impact will bone? Now it's even starting to reject TV shows that show two men flirting with daddy issue jokes. I ship buddie for Almost 5 years, My personal reason for wanting Buddie to become canon besides the chemistry was largely because I didn't want them to continue queerbaiting: they should officially get together or clearly not be together. Now that Buck has become bi, Buddie has slowly shifted into a ship baiting nature, but it cannot be denied that Buddie was queerbaiting before.

And I've been thinking that Eddie is gay for a long time, even though some so-called "insiders" have recently revealed that the ana breakup line is a precursor to his being gay, I still don't understand the so-called queer code, can you call it a queer code when every heterosexual relationship doesn't end well? Then it seems that every scumbag is a queer code, not to mention the fact that Ryan himself explicitly mentioned the word heterosexual in his interview describing buck's coming out scene to Eddie. Do the people who think Eddie is gay really know what sexual orientation means? The point is to be sexually attracted to men and only men. Eddie has been shown enjoying heterosexual sex on more than one occasion so far, and even Michael (Athena's ex-husband) came out at the beginning of the show and then made it clear that he would never have sex with Athena again. is it okay for a gay man to have heterosexual sex? Maybe it is. But do gay people enjoy heterosexual sex? You've got to be kidding me! Eddie being a bisexual or pansexual makes a lot more sense to me than being gay. Secondly the speculation about Eddie being Demisexual, Honestly, I didn't understand the concept of Demisexual very well, but I really don't think he's very Demisexual, he and shannon got back together only by having sex when they had relationship problems, and now he and marisol are already having sex frequently without having progressed to the point where they can cohabitate, does that really fit the definition of Demisexual? I just not so sure.

And even if Eddie is gay/Demisexual doesn't mean buddie canon, another point I really want to say is that almost most buddie fans feel that the character's sexuality can only be a PLOT DEVICE in the service of buddie, which is why the atmosphere in the fanbase was still harmonious during the period after s7ep4 and before ep5, because in the interview tim mentioned that the next episode of bucktommy's date didn't go well, and everyone didn't take Tommy's character seriously, thinking that Tommy was a tool, and that he would leave soon, and then buck would go and develop buddie obediently, which is actually a very good indication that they didn't take buck's bisexuality seriously too, and then they found out that bucktommy's coffee date was thriving again in the ep5 finale, which immediately starts attacking the character tommy and the actor lou because they are in buddie canon's way. Oliver mentions that there was a bi buck plot in s4, and in the absence of any information mentioning eddie they immediately think it's buddie canon again, and that all of buck's and eddie's sexuality The correlation can only be to run to buddie, there is no possibility of the two of them each finding someone else. At the end of the day they see buck as eddiesexual and Eddie as bucksexual (in fact shannonsexual would seem to make more sense), come on it's not even a sexual orientation. It's funny how tim coming back and making buck bi but not developing buddie gets called out as well, and how some people think that everyone calling out KR before was actually wrong about KR, and how some people think that buddie is the right character and actor meeting the wrong author and writer, it's really humorous and interesting thought.

All in all, can you heterosexuals who love queerbaiting ship move aside during pride month and stop pretending to be ally while attacking a real canon queer ships? and can the queer who love queerbaiting realize the dangers of queerbaiting? ...... but at the end of the day they are all virtual characters and it's up to the writers to write them, I'd love to see them make Buddie canon, but it's not even close to that day, Let's really canon queer ship bucktommy have a good time with their first pride month please.

thank you for reading, happy pride month!🏳️‍🌈

[kit-williams]

Barn Anon. In my defence, it's not yet Feb. I promise I have a happier one after this one. Wanted to explore the Warp fuckery or rather those that are "immune" to it. :)

You wanted to scream, want to grab your aunt and yell at her that she's crazy. That... thing that she's brought to the family reunion... It doesn't belong here! It's not even human, nor is it a pet like a dog or a cat. Why is everyone so calm? why is everyone smiling? Don't they see how it's armed to the teeth? Don't they see that chainsaw sword thing that it carries around with it? Doesn't anyone notice how it's sharp edges have some dried bloodstains?

You politely excuse yourself and rush out of the house to stand at the back porch. Deep breaths. In. Out. You look out at the single tree that grows at the back, the stars that dot the sky. You manage to come back down from the emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. Laughter creeps out from the house, you see that…thing acting all shy and bashful and you feel like throwing up. Does no one else see that thing for the danger it is? The majority of the world seems to be the same regardless of location or culture. You've seen the pictures and videos of people around the globe with their Space Marines and how everyone else would comment how they wish they had a Space Marine of their own. Just last week your friend was excitedly showing you a video of a guy and his Space Marine summitting some mountain together, with the guy excitedly hugging his Space Marine.

The only comfort you have is that you aren't alone. There's others that see the true danger of these Space Marines. It's a small minority and there are few spaces online that you can talk about it. This small community has a theory that Space Marines must have some form of mind control or that they plan to overthrow humanity. It didn't matter to you if you agreed to those theories, you're just relieved to find others that understand. You know you can't tell your parents, oh god no. They'll think you're crazy or worse, some sort of conspiracy theorist or extremist. You're not crazy! I-It's them that's insane, they're the ones that need help.

You open the chatroom start typing away, venting to like-minded sane individuals. You know you're right. Your family is in danger, they just can't see it yet but you can save them. They'll thank you in the end. You'll find a way to get rid of that Space Marine, somehow.

Thank you for feeding into my weird idea about how it is just a bit of warp fuckery cuz lets be honest no one would just do what the husbandry tag does unless it's some sort of warp fuckery.

Besides I'm always a lover of the Eldritch (Also you cannot tell me as a Catholic that biblically accurate angels aren't some sort of eldritch abominations straight out of Lovecraft just with more fire and feathers motif vs oceanic) and to imply something is just wrong under the surface is my jam

How can people not see that these things aren't normal?!

You do your research finding old and you mean old newspapers from the 20's and there is nothing about Astartes at all. Up until the 40's where suddenly there are pictures of them... some of them being seen in old war videos.

Some theorize that that Nazi Occultism brought them here but they are all beyond our petty conflicts as seen with the futile attempt there was to bring them into the Korean war. They only cared about their "companions". There use to be so much more uproar in papers about them but once the baby boomers were born that's suddenly when everyone was okay with them. Only the people in the Silent Generation and the GI generation were complaining about the Astartes and then suddenly their children or grandchildren were okay with them.

You continue to read as the generations went on... Gen X and Millennials saw the least amount of pushback... Millennials it was considered weird to have the opinion you have now. You run your fingers through your hair looking at the newspaper articles as you now realize that Gen z and Gen Alpha will only grow up with "positive" connotations.

Gone were the idea that only Loyalist astartes were safe to own and then it moved to include renegades and unaligned. You shudder at the thought of your cousin with a Khornite living with them. They're going to die you've tried to warn them but you worry their Astarte might know what's up... they are so much smarter. You pale seeing an old guide about a Blood Angel going into a rage... you shutter at the article.

Your parents are talking about getting one but you managed to convince them that they can get one once you move out. You read the chat and how someone's posted about how a kid was recently abducted by one... or another about how some Gen Alpha kids can even speak their language... and then the theory about bonding that seems to come up when the kids explain their space marine... oh great a wild idea that you get chosen and have no choice in the matter.

You look behind you as you make your way home late trying to desperately avoid the dark alleyways and crossing the road when you see people walking with their Astartes. You've already found out nice communities that don't allow Astartes to live there so you can get away from the madness.

[hellsfirekeepsyouwarm]

All Hell Breaks Loose Pt. 3

Hello my beautiful people, here i am with the third part, LET THE ANGST CONTINUE. I dunno how long this series gon be, so bear with me guys, and i'll promise i'll stop the angst train soon, just not now :d Comments, feedback and reblogs are appreciated, i love your reactions. love y'all

Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Warnings:, torture, language, graphic scenes, again: military men, mention of urination (weird i know), canon typical violence i guess, overall distraught

Summary: While your try to hold it together both body and mind in the midst of darkness and pain, Simon and the team try their best to get to you, without walking into a deathtrap.

A soft feather like touch is grazing the inside of your wrist, so light but apparent, eyes snapping open. Is he here? A wave of relief washing over you momentarily before registering your own finger on your own skin, caressing the veins under the thin skin.

You choke on the sob that erupts from you, realizing you tried to comfort yourself unconsciously, your mind in shambles, making you believe Simon got through all the Shadows to you. Damsel in distress you said? You snort at that, the fast switch in your head is comical at this point. You are loosing your mind already? That cannot be the case, no. You are stronger than that.

You keep petting your wrist, now fully aware of the fact that it's just you, not Simon making sure of the pulsing under his fingers. It became something so intimate between the two of you. When you woke up in the hospital, in the midst of nightmares, fire and pain, you could feel the sensitive touch of callused fingers, holding your hand the same way, all the time. Wrapped around your hand, warm, fingers meeting on top of the veins where you can feel the rhythmical thump of blood rushing in them.

So you woke up like that, him on your bedside, not letting your hand go for a second, pulling his chair closer when you found his gaze, devoid from the black camouflage makeup or haunting image of a skull. A handsome man with worry in his deep gaze, telling tales of how much hell he's been trough.

So it became a habit, a couple thing if you will. He does this anytime he seeks comfort, and anytime he feels you need reassurance of his presence. When you first sat up with a hole still in your chest, when he confessed how fucking terrified he was when you hit the ground, when you walked out scarred mentally and physically, when he tried to catch you attention, or when he wanted one more kiss before you turned back to the stove. It's a silent i love you. Neither of you are good with words, but you found other ways to communicate.

You doing it gives a tiny bit of ease in the middle of the dusty cold room.

You look around, slowly to see every corner and darker part, and while you are certain no one else is in the room with you, you are still cautious with your surroundings. Everything is in the exact same place as before your head decided to give in to the bleariness. You remain on the sad wooden chair screwed to the ground in the middle, a reeking bucket of your piss behind you in the farthest corner, old electrical boxes so old you can't see the color of them under all the rust. You inspected everything, the boxes are rooted, they might open but you doubt you'll have enough juice in you to crack open any of it.

Other than the boxes and your makeshift toilet the space is empty, and it was a miracle that you even have the luxury to pee in something. Graves left you with one of his goons for a while, inspecting your every move, so when another Shadow brought it, you peed looking into his eyes. The man was so flustered he left the room minutes later, and you thought about how Soap would laugh at this story after going on a rampage of your humiliation. You couldn't care less. If this is all you have to endure, so be it. You are off the hook easy so far, and you fear Graves is waiting for the big finale. You are the bait, and he's hiding out to lure the targets closer and closer before he can land a solid attack.

The moment Graves left you behind, you had a deep breath, having a moment without the poker face and resistance. Now you are going mad in the quiet. Just how he said. Memorized every bit of the space around you, counted the steps on the other side of the door, focusing on the difference between boots, your brain high from stress. He wants you to crack, and you have to admit with shame, that if someone can do it, it's him. He knows you well, as a person and as a soldier.

You freeze when the door bursts open, Graves and two of his Shadow following behind. Here we go again, you think.

"You know what time is it Darling." Yeah, you know the drill already. He comes and watches as his men does the dirty job. God forbid Philip Graves gets blood on his hands.

So the first punch lands right to your stomach, air knocked out of you with a painful grunt. Shit, no foreplay this time? He's getting impatient. He wants progress, his math didn't work so he's upping his game. He anticipated the task force by now, a siege, an attack. Anything. You can see on his face, frustrated expression with deep purple bags under his eyes.

The blows are calculated. They cause pain, creating vivid colors on your skin, but too far from being fatal. A busted lip, blackeye, cuts and bruises deep enough to bleed, but drying out in a short time. It's not time yet. That might be your play.

He observes every hit on you, instructing the men assaulting you when he needs to. The pain is irrelevant at this point. You can barely feel the abuse after the impact. Which is good and real bad at the same time.

You need time. You have to buy some time for yourself, and for the guys to get to you before it's too late.

You realize you are on autopilot mode. Your brain working in military mode. Endure. Survive. Plan. No matter what. Just the reminder of a ghost touch on your wrist collect the tears in your eyes with the sting of the blade pushing slowly under your nail.

You blocked the pain so far, but your body has limits. In the middle of the constant blows, you didn't noticed the ziptie locking in on you ankles. Now when the sharp metal is threatening to broke off your first nail from your finger you try to move you knee up to meet with the man's jaw. But the impact never comes, and makes you wonder when it all happened. When the numbness left your body and switched places with pure agony and terror. Soon your hands are tied to the damn chair that's been your only support in this hell, and your wrists are painfully tight against the wood.

You hyperventilate, you cannot know but can imagine the pain you are about to experience. Simon told you it was probably the worst he ever felt. And he never says things like that unless he means it.

Then you scream.

*

He was ready. Blood boiling, heart aching, but ready. He was so close to action, and that clouded his judgment. Or blinded is a better description to it. He missed the subtle but clear signs that the others caught sooner. Though they agreed on the plan, it was clear and fast forward, they couldn't go with it. First Price suggested to take a step back, have an eye on everything, before making a move. That's what he did, watched and monitored and he ignored every fucking red flag that was in his face. Then everybody else hinted on the fact that the plan won't work, but he's too stubborn to hear them out.

"What are you suggesting? Leave her there to fucking die?" He's dangerously close to jump on Price for putting a complete halt on the mission. "There should have been proof of life delivered for hours now. Fuckin' 'ell she might be already DEAD!"

His voice is roaring, filling the room, dancing in his teammates ears. While they were prepared for Ghost's wrath, they never could fully understand the lengths this man will take to do what need to be done. Right now Simon is mere inch away from marching right down to the Shadow hideout, and demolish the place to the ground.

"You let me take the lead for a reason, Simon. What do you think why we haven't seen proof of life? So you lose your mind over it, because they anticipated us hours before. They know we had eyes on the area for days." Price is steady against Ghost, but he's a little out of breath, eager to reason with Ghost to prevent him do something life threatening stupid shit.

"You know Lt. the Captain is right. Every corner of that base is orchestrated for us. Every man there moved the same everyday, took the same route at the same time as before. They made it look hard but easy enough for us to try." Johnny is passionate as always, Ghost admires the fire he has in every damn situation. But in this hell of a state, Simon can't see past the red.

"She's the bait for us to go down there, and when the bastards have us, we guaranteed her death with ours."

Price and Soap talks from different sides of his head, desperate to knock some sense into his brain, making him see the ovious. But if they are right, Simon can't get closer to the goal. That means more hours and days of suffering. Suffering that he endures, and guilt doubling down on him when he registers he's afraid of his own suffering first, and not yours.

Simon's heart breaks over and over, the heart he had doubts about ever existing, head pounding against the thick skull of his. And while every fiber in his body tells him to break down the fucking doors and destroy anything and everything in search of you, he have to admit his brothers are correct.

Soap picks up Ghost's break, he can hide his face behind the mask, but he cannot hide his feelings, not when Soap watched his two teammates break into shreds, then slowly picking up what remained and putting the pieces back together. Before Simon can protest, Johnny is nudging him outside of their small long forgotten barn that sheltered them the past few days.

Simon lets Soap to guide him further, where he can breath, and might have that long awaited collapse Soap would have had at the first moment if it was about his significant other. To be honest, he already had his fair share of outrage and terror the moment he got the news about you. His best friend for years now, a friend he found in a place void of this kind of relationship he has with you.

He overcome that fury, but Ghost is a stubborn son of a bitch, and he's not sure he can turn his friend's head to the right way.

"C'mon man. You need to see what i'm seein'. You saw yourself, just think about it." Simon takes deep breaths, the cool fresh air clearing his head, the wind forcing some tears out of his eyes.

"I know." Simon grunts, head hanging defeated. "I know." He clears his throat in effort to swallow back his words. Fight is in his nature, not acceptance.

A few moment goes by like this, Johnny supporting his mate with silence, a comfortable and an awkward silence at once.

Just as Soap would try to speak again, Gaz approaches the men out of breath, stumbling over in his words before he can say it.

"We got a video, a minute ago. She's alive."

Ghost shots up, like he was shot with electricity. He lunges towards the barn, the boys hot on his trail.

*

The small laptop show a horrific scene, right in the middle of a scream. If Ghost wouldn't know better, he would think it's someone else, not her. But the inhuman voice is coming out of your mouth, he knows, because he sees your face fully for a moment before the video continues on to show how your nails are being removed one after one. While your face was shown in a swift blurry move, the picture of raw meat under your nails are as sharp as his precious knife in his holster.

Price reaches for the laptop, but Simon claps his hand before he could close it down, and prevent Simon to see all of it.

"No." He grumbles, Price retreats, not pleased at the slightest. He's done watching, the sound is enough to imagine the content of it.

It goes on and on, the images burning into Simon's memory, and he wants it that way. If you have to go through that, he'll too. This is going to be his fuel for what's about to come, because he will ravage the very existence of Philip Graves. He will erase his memory off of this goddamn earth, with nothing to remain.

Slowly every one of the guys takes a step back from the proof of life they awaited so much, and only Simon stays rooted in front of the screen. Not much is visible of the place, dark hugging the room, black gloves on the torturer, black tactical wear on the others holding her down, no face shown, no other sound just the screams and some grunts of the captivators. Because she still fights, of course she does. She has to.

Just as Simon feels his own limit of watching you in anguish, not fucking feeling anything anymore, your voice changes, turns into words before the torturing hand freezes, and video cuts off.

"Do you...do you remember Istanbul Phil? Hmmm, the good ol' days huh?"

Blood rushes with full force again in his veins, the words awakening his senses. Your voice drowning in the accent at the end Soap laughed so much on, and he did have some low chuckle himself when he first heard them in his ears through the comms.

All pair of eyes locked at him, realization hitting every one of them. You gave them a way in.

*

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[unblinded-by-nostalgia-blog]

Part 1 (Episodes 1-6)

The Story

The story is about a world where humans form a revolution to take over their vampire rulers.

The story overall is great, but the problem that this anime has is that it follows the manga word for word and it doesn't change or add anything new to make it stand out from its original source material. So if you have read the manga recently, you may want to wait a while before you watch this anime because you will practically see what you have just already seen.

The Characters

The characters are still great, but I want to see more of the vampires side of the story. Because of what I have seen from the humans seem a lot worse than what the vampires are doing.

The Animation/Special Effects

The animation is great, especially with the fighting scenes. But the watercolour backgrounds don't suit the character designs. Don't get me wrong, I like the backgrounds and how colourful and grim they can be, but with the character design style, it doesn't look as great.

Final Thoughts

Overall, while this adaptation is great so far, it doesn't take any risks like changing some of the scenes, and thus, this series is pretty much literally the manga in anime form.

Hopefully, as the series goes on, it will make changes from the original manga.

The Story 4/5 The Characters 4/5 The Animation/Special Effects 4/5 The Dub 2/5

Overall 4/5

Part 2 (Episodes 7-12)

The Story

The second half of the anime has the opposite problem from the first half, it wanders too far away from the source material.

I don't mind an anime trailing off from the original manga's path as long as it is done well. But here, it adds filler and typical anime tropes that were just shoehorned into the anime. It feels like some corporate business man came across this anime and said "it isn't tropey enough. Let's add a pointless romance, a shower-yuri scene and cheaper animation!"

The Characters

Some of the characters have been turned into tropes, especially the blond pig-tailed girl. My God, she is the most ANNOYING tsundere I have ever seen! She just yells at the main character and has a love rivalry with the purple haired leader (I will NOT refer them to their names because they are NOTHING like the original characters that we fell in love with in the manga!)

It's such a shame that these characters have become shadows of their former selves.

The Animation/Special Effects

The Animation takes a DIVE in quality. They use every cheap tactic in the book like those "rush lines", characters mouths getting conveniently covered, CGI and many more that you know and HATE!

The Dub

I decide to wait on commenting on the Dub until now because it is exactly the same. Basically everyone sounds too old! The demon that the main character possesses sounds like she is in her 30s instead of sounding more youthful. The main cast sound too old, the vampire sound WAY to flamboyant and Guren cannot emote to save his life!

The only good voice actor here is the lady who voices the pinked hair vampire, she just suits the role PERFECTLY! Now only if the rest of the cast wasn't shit...

Final Thoughts

Overall, this is just a train wreck. It isn't the worst downfall I've seen, but it is still pretty bad!

The Story 2/5 The Characters 1.5/5 The Animation/Special Effects 2/5 The Dub 2/5

Overall 2/5

Overall Thoughts

Overall, this anime had potential. And a LOT of it too. I honestly thought it would take over Attack on Titan and become the next big anime in the community. But it got ignored for the most part, and now I can see why.

The anime took the original charm of the manga and just DESTROYED it!

The first half is great (even though it follows the manga too closely), but the second half just destroys the potential it had and its hopes of being a success.

I might Review the second season, but don't count on it.

If you are curious, give it a rent, but just go read the manga. Leave this anime to rot!

Part 1 4/5 Part 2 2/5

Overall 3/5

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

They are two much bigger names with the ability to bury someone like 🐟, especially when paired with a name like Chris //

Wait, I think Chris' team first intention might be not to choose 🐟, but bc 🐟 side couldn't keep a freaking secret so Chris' team has to do "last minute" things, that's why everything looks so forced

Hello anon 🙏

See I'd be inclined to think that too however........

The Pumpkin Pic.....

How did 🐟's Mother get hold of the Pumpkin pic PRIOR to it being published on HIS Instagram account? And use it as a pfp on her Facebook page that had already been noticed by fans and caused the Just Jared article that kicked off the need to even do the rushed papwalk at all? 🏃🏃‍♀️

Somebody had to have sent it to her, someone in his professional team who had access to his social media

Even I can schedule posts on my little creator fan account so someone knew it was coming

It's the one thing even I cannot explain away

There had to be some kind of communication between the sides about this picture for ANY of what resulted from it

I remember Chelsea commenting on the pic, and then quickly deleting her comment while fans were talking about the matching pic and freaking out (Yes, THAT Chelsea, the friend of Tara's....)

After the fans "discovered" it the media went off with it.....🗣️

E.g Just Jared

Even Cosmopolitan went with it:

Here's the tweet they cited:

(This is possibly yet another troll account designed to drop info, it only joined in October 2022)

Now I'm a photographer 📸 if you pay for the exclusive rights to an image to use it's yours, so technically at this point if Christopher is the one that's paying for all of this then he should technically still own the pumpkin image as well

Has anyone like his lawyers checked the literal receipts?

If he does own the rights to use this image then Elsa then used it without permission?

Someone told me it's a stock photo, I remember taking a look at it way back when it first came out, even just using Lightroom you can adjust it to the point where you can see where it's been professionally altered.....👨‍🎨

Who owns and had access to this f*cking picture of Pumpkins? 🎃🕯️

🤍🪽✨