#i cannot afford my antipsychotics

[lovpoem]

its still super funny to me when i remember the time i found out im like.... on the precipice of being considered disabled. akfndkcn

[thiefbird]

feel like im dying actually fuck me

[compassionatereminders]

I am a diagnosed schizophrenic and been living unmedicated for almost two years due to not having insurance last year and have been so/so with being able to stay calm about what I go through and experience in my reality. For some reason, I’ve been declining more and more recently, and have been trying to get back on meds for months. However, my insurance came back two months after the initial medication request saying my primary care provider cannot prescribe the medication and I will need to see a psychiatrist. Originally, I had an appointment to see a psychiatrist and was on a waiting list to see my primary care provider, and my pcp called me saying they had an availability and would be able to prescribe me my medication before my psychiatry appt so I cancelled the appt with my psychiatrist. I was able to schedule a new appt December 4th (their soonest) On Monsay, I hallucinated a car was trying to drive me off the road when in *actual* reality I was the only one on the road, and my therapist told me for the safety of others I shouldn’t drive anymore. Is getting medicated difficult where you live or is it just the US insurance and health system fucking me over?

🪦 (I hope this emoji isn’t taken I don’t remember if previous anons I’ve used I used it)

Here it is mainly a challenge to get on controlled medications, like stimulants or benzos. Even though there might be waiting times, seeing a psychiatrist is covered by our universal health care and the process often gets sped up in emergencies. I've had a mostly opposite problem actually, where me NOT desiring antipsychotics hasn't ever been treated like a valid option. In Denmark, accessing therapy is generally much, much harder than accessing psychiatric medication, because therapy usually isn't a part of the universal health care package while seeing a psychiatrist about medication is covered. Most of us do have to pay some money out of pocket for the meds, but it's usually quite affordable, and there are some additional options if it isn't.

[dailydoseofselfcare]

I wanna talk about how being disabled is hard.

I can't safely drive because of my epilepsy. It's gotten worse in the past few weeks, to where I'm having multiple seizures a day. I'm stuck at home, due to the laws being that I cannot drive anywhere.

Because I'm unable to go out and socialize, or work, or do anything really, because it's unsafe for me to do that right now due to the seizure risk, I'm depressed as fuck. I haven't been eating or drinking water. I haven't seen any of my friends. Nobody has had time to call me or talk to me.

When you are unable to go places, or find rides, or socialize, you get extremely extremely depressed. I've spent an absurd amount of money to doordash food twice this week so I can have something to eat. I don't have groceries in my cupboards, I'm down to frozen and canned vegetables, and that's it.

In order to get groceries I have to rely on a delivery service. I live in a food desert, so prices are extremely high, and because I can't work, I can't always afford the $15+ delivery fees.

Because I'm depressed I haven't wanted to cook whatsoever, I have been eating a lot of chips that were supposed to be saved for my epileptic episodes, to recover faster. I've been eating maybe one meal a day at most. In order for my antipsychotics and anxiety medicine to work, I need to eat at least 500 Calories.

Because I can't grocery shop, and because I'm depressed, and because nothing sounds good to eat, and I'm unable to keep any food down or eat more than one or two bites, because I have gone without eating for weeks, nothing sounds good or worthwhile to order through grocery delivery.

It's a cycle and it's a hole and it just drives you further and further downwards, and it's hard to stop. It's not something I want to be experiencing right now.

It's not easy. Never believe that it's easy.

[fleetstreetpies]

TW: mental health problems, psychosis, open and graphic discussion of my hallucinations and delusions, mental health meds, mental health med side effects, medical inaction, medical malpractice.

Content under the cut.

Good god it’s happening again. It’s getting REALLY bad again.

I’ve been on a mood stabiliser for about a year now, and I’ve been VERY open with my psychiatrist about a lot of the complications I’ve faced, like needing my dose increased, nausea and headaches from increasing my dosage, persistence of mania, night terrors, delusions, etc. And now the delusions and hallucinations are worse than they were. They’d gotten better for a while but now here I am and good gods, I want it to stop so badly.

I want to not see things and people melting slowly. I want to not perceive that people have been replaced by near identical clones. I want to not perceive that some people are just my mother in elaborate disguise. I’d make it all stop or go away if I could, and when I was a younger man I tried, though when I tried I fully thought that I was God and could control the universe with just my thoughts.

I’ve been trying to talk to my psychiatrist about it. I need to get my mood stabiliser increased, sure, and I know that. But I also desperately need to get on an antipsychotic. And I think she thinks I’m malingering.

Do people actually think that folks with these problems are faking this? Malingering is relatively rare, and by all means, infuriating for all parties. But do the professionals genuinely think that we’re malingering? Because I’d bet (if I had money and were a gambling man) that it’s way harder to fake than you’d think. People who do that whole malingering thing unequivocally baffle me. Antipsychotics are extremely expensive and I cannot believe people would genuinely be willing to buy them and fake it for sympathy. I can’t afford 880 dollars per refill no matter how hard I try because I can barely make rent in a month (at least I get my meds through the school pharmacy where they cost way less).

So what even is the point of some other person faking it? To sell their prescription drugs for a profit on a black market? To gain sympathy? To get some kind of disability benefits?

I just need for my psychiatrist to fucking listen to me for five seconds and to actually fucking help me for once in her goddamn life when all the other doctors or professionals in their white coats and clean blouses and blazers won’t. I need help because they all fucking refuse to help me and my psychiatrist is supposed to help me. They took a vow to “do no harm”, but that vow is useless when their own inaction or bias is the cause of the harm. It’s pointless and futile! Why take a vow when you don’t even listen to the people you swore to help?

Medical inaction is ableism. Medical inaction is malpractice. Medical inaction is to be complicit in the deaths of so many mentally ill people.

Doctors say “do no harm” but they leave the mentally ill to suffer and die because “what if they’re faking it?” That’s a poor excuse to deny people adequate (read: potentially life saving) treatment and healthcare.

Shame on the pharmaceutical industry, shame on doctors, shame on malingerers, and shame on everyone complicit in the ableism, incompetence, inaction, corruption, and denial that kill.

Shame on you.

[avoidcrow]

Antipsychotics saga

They lowered them again which is probably good because I am having issues, but downside is I need to go see my doctor even sooner

I cannot afford all these appointments why is mental health so expensive

[vvyrmwood]

I dunno if fart-over-IP will be effective, but I do know you can buy a variety of terrible smelling products online that may or may not be suitable for neighbourly noise discouragement.

i can’t afford my antipsychotics rn man i cannot afford to waste money on fart in a can for my neighbour. i need the tumblr witches to really show up and help me out this one time i have never asked before

[dear3st-dead-diary]

D3AREST DEAD DIARY.

I think my boyfriend and I broke up?? I went too hard partying and currently experiencing delirium and alcohol psychosis so that's fun.

I just woke up from near sleep paralysis, I scared my other boyfriend awake.. poor guy :(

One bf is pissed at me while the other just wants me to be happy. Both of them know what I did while manic and high & intoxicated... but I kind of don't.... this past week until a couple days ago I was simply drinking till even the idea of a previous I'd forget... self destruction ���� 👌 (why are those the suggested emojis for self destruction? xD.. anyway)

I had a dream something large was charging up the stairs and each time I panicked the charging got faster till the walls and bed were shaking and right as it was about to round the corner I woke up wailing and whimpering.

Why do I do this to myself? Cause fuck it honestly.

Fuck my neighbor for being a Karen and "I'll cAlL tHe POlicE AaAaaAa..." when I rang her doorbell at 1 am (on a friday) to tell her I scratched her car. SHE WASNT EVEN FUCKING MAD ABOUT THE CAR!?!?! So? Why threaten LIKE WHAT? And her son just looked at her with such destiny and embarrassed no wonder for the past 2½ years he told me to never bug his mother. Fuck that asshole. Sheeeeeeeesh bitch.

And FUCK MY BOYFRIEND for being mad I didn't shave?? Sorry baby I didn't have the ducking time since you RUSHED ME to be as your house A. S. A. FUCKING. P.

And to top it all off I witnessed a homeless person possibly overdose so I called somebody for that and panicked and IM THE ONE WHOS IN THE WRONG? Sorry I inconvenienced your fucking live asshole and furthermore sorry I can't be your perfect hairless prince princess 24/7.

Fuck. He hasn't even texted me since I called him a couple days ago and he just played it on me without actually telling me exactly what I did wrong. Same shit as always. No one ever tells me what I fucking did and then wonders why I don't feel bad, it's cause I. DONT. Bitch? You never told me explicitly WHY I'm in the wrong. Whatever.

I also drunk called 3 girls and I think 3 or 4 guys to talk STRAIGHT DIRTY to them... I don't remember exactly what was said but some of those Cals were almost AN HOUR 👁👄👁💀💀💀💀💀.

So, I'm not a mind reader, don't wanna tell me there's a problem? Then there's no problem, is there? So no, I don't feel bad for my actions and I cannot take accountability for my actions if no one's gonna tell me.

I'm so pissed at the "world".. my "world" right now.

ALSO I MAXED OUT MY CREDIT CARRRRRRD FUCK.

I still haven't paid my phone or internet bill or my utilities but.. fuck I have 4 to 5 days to figure something out. I paid my rent though. So thank goodness for that.

I have bipolar and sometimes I hallucinate during an episode. Sometimes I'm delusional. And sometimes I'm convinced everyone around me wants to be my friend.

Do antipsychotics work? No..

Here's with luck work picks up again, and my drinking isn't the only thing people worry about. And here's hoping I can afford my bills.

Shit sucks but it will get better.

Right?

Your bi(sexual)polar bitch head.

- A

Also p.s. as of almost an hour after writing this post... I just remembered I had I dream about Jennifer's Body and the nightmare part was mom's dressing as Hannah Montanna for Halloween in the 80s... like before the show existed???

Anyway.

[nathank77]

5/10/24

5:17 a.m Edited/Added to 5:28 a.m

I think I'm going to end it all soon. I mean yea it's gotten better but I mean I truly cannot sit in silence. Kristen will lose her license if I kill myself. I won't have to obssess over silence anymore and I truly mean it when I say no amount of money will make me feel like it's just that my brain is this broken and it will likely be forever.

I did some research bc I know Mike wasn't wrong about other neurotransmitters being at play and I was looking at the gaba and glutamate theory.

I also looked up benzodiazepines and what neurotransmitters they act on. And they act on gaba the major inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain... which now it makes sense why when the Xanax half life is active I don't hallucinate as much...... cause I am taking a gaba agonist...

I'm going to ask my doctor if maybe she can perscibe me .25 mg for the day time.. I doubt she will but I'll explain my case and say I've done research and I've noticed for like 12 hours, my hallucination is under control... and then the half life is gone and I hallucinate more.. idk maybe I won't cause then she will say Behavioral health.. and they'll say antipsychotics...

So idk I have to think about it. I'm so bogged down bc bo4 was a crap shoot. Okstupid is so fucking depressing and I'm alone as fuck.

What am i here for? I looked up gaba supplements... if you take straight up gaba it can barely cross the blood brain barrier. Then I investigated supplements that increase gaba...

And I went through the list and I mean a lot of them have major side effects. I found one that seemed pretty safe until I read that it can cause limbic Seizures... when I looked up glutamate antagonist cause that would be the other idea as it's the major excititory neurotransmitter of the brain, I mean it was even less promising...

None of these supplements are truly safe... White mulberries are. But yea I was reading stuff like Seizures, and ataxia... and shit. It isn't worth it to play with my neurons like that despite them being irreparably damaged and my brain legit being broken.

I've noticed that since stopping weed my thoughts aren't as sloppy and my mental pictures are mostly normal. They still have psychosis in them but that was consistently a thing before i tried weed again. And I mean the visuals are still a thing but it's just floaters... prob just that I need glasses... progressives. I just wasn't looking for them before...

Anyways- I don't think I can help myself anymore than I am. I shouldn't ask for more benzodiazepines.. they are addictive and I know my pcp will be like behavioral health...

The supplements seem more like I'm gambling with my life, I can't afford ataxia or Seizures.

And I mean I'm going to be alone forever. At least I'll die looking like this. I can't really live it up- i have had a suicide ritual planned my whole life. It can't really be the way I want it to be bc of my hallucination. Which is sad. I mean I always planned to kill myself when I got diagnosed with something terminal before it got bad....

The ritual was going to be to watch all my trans videos. And cry happy tears over being able to be myself and how strong I am. I can do that but with interruption. Hearing my dead name all the time....

I wanted to watch six feet under one last time. I can't do that too much silence I can't let the hallucination taint it.....

Spend time with everyone I care about one more time doing something that creates a memory. A good one. Like a hike... or something. I mean I can't hike thank you hallucination... but I can do other things..

Sit out in the woods and smoke pot and listen to the wind in the trees. Can't do that.

Buy myself anything I want, any food. Anything.

As well as make a video saying good bye to everyone individually.

Play silent hill 2. One last time.

That basically sums it up. Overdose with music in the background and fall asleep in peace and never wake up.

I can do some of it. I mean it'll be a ritual. It'll take a few weeks. Silent hill 2 is one of the last things I'll do. Between my videos and if I could watch six feet under ever again or anything but garbage cartoons like fucking American dad.

Anyways I can do most of it. But yea I'm about to be a year of my brain breaking thanks to Kristen dew October 10th... and marginal improvement is not enough.

I can't even smoke fucking weed or get drunk with my friends.

I mean when I think about it-psychosis Took weed away from me, drinking for fun, playing video games, watching my favorite stuff, my ability to hear silence, my ability to go hiking something I truly love without someone who is a motor mouth, my ability to just be in nature. My ability to think without hearing it repeat over my fucking TV shows without purposely diverting my attention to the TV which is really fucking hard. It took so much of me away.

And I'll prob hear my deadname with my final breath. But no one will ever think I wasn't proud to be Nathan.

[one-way-dream]

-

by god i am like one argument one criticism one sneeze away from ending it all but alas i cannot afford to have another meltdown on twitter bc i already deactivated and worried my friends so i just have to pretend im extremely normal and not made of shaken up carbonated water. i love when my antipsychotics and antidepressants dont do their job so i stop them only to learn that they were in fact doing their job bc i feel significantly more insane ❤️ lukewarm management and feeling like an unmotivated zombie but admittedly better than whatever the fuck this is

[myrtaceaae]

Also I'm aware that not taking your meds is a Bad Thing, but my antipsychotic makes me so drowsy and confused in the morning and I CANNOT afford that. So. No antipsychotics for tonight ☺️

[insipid-drivel]

I've been on dozens upon dozens of different types of psych meds, from benzos to antipsychotics, and if the "average" or "beginner" dosage isn't helping to address what you initially came to seek medication for? Then upping the dose probably won't help unless you yourself are genuinely confident it can. Even with medications that have very harsh acclimation periods (Seroquel is one particular doozy of a bitch to try), if there's something in them that's helping but you can't quite tell because of other side-effects and real-life factors? You'll likely feel a tiny glint of, "Maybe try another tonight/in the morning?" upon considering whether you want to take another dose.

If you feel inexplicable hope in spite of crummy side-effects? There may be a good reason and it may be worth trying to acclimate for a little longer.

If you feel absolutely no benefit and hate taking the meds no matter how used to them you get? They're probably not helping you - at least not in a way that isn't damaging to other areas of your quality of life.

Here are some things I learned to say that would both convey to a doctor I thought they were shit-for-brains without getting me branded as a "difficult" or "combative" patient:

"If the acclimation process is too harsh, I will not take it." You can say this with impunity to any doctor recommending you psych meds. You have a right to being comfortable in your body, and if you're on a medication that is not improving your quality of life in any way whatsoever while, in fact, making you feel worse? You have the right to say, "Absolutely not. What's your next plan of action?"

If your doctor doesn't have a "next plan of action", that isn't your problem. It's theirs to figure out. You should not have to deal with feeling ill on top of your other symptoms and feel compelled to do your doctor's job for them.

"If [medication] does not help me with [what you are struggling with], I will not take it." If your doctor pushes back and is super super confident a higher dose will work? "Convince me. I am having an awful time with this medication and I don't want to take it anymore. Sell me on this new dosage." Go ahead and use the phrase "sell", because it gives a medical provider the sense that you are NOT confident in their prescribing abilities, and that they are currently just trying to sell you A Product rather than help improve your life. If that doesn't translate? "Given the medications you have prescribed me and their rate of failure, I am losing confidence in your competence in handling my case." Is a cold, non-aggressive, medical bitch-slap to the career and ego of any doctor.

Challenge them calmly and directly if you feel like really hashing shit out with them. "What about this medication can you tell me that would make risking even worse side-effects worth my stress and discomfort?" Don't be physically combative, but think of your displeasure and anger as the cold, doom-ridden rage of an overburdened HR manager professionally verbally eviscerating an over-demanding peer, not a superior. Verbally challenge them to sell you on going up your dosage when the medication itself doesn't seem to be having any benefit at the dose it's already at. Don't be completely combative, but allow yourself to show through your words and body language that they are failing you and either need to recommend you to someone else, or actually make an effort to hear you and work with you.

If your doctor keeps pushing? "May I have your personal phone number in the event that I do this and experience a serious reaction?" (Especially if you cannot afford any kind of time in a hospital for an emergency) Make eye-contact. Stare. You are giving them a choice: Either help you find a medication that works for you, or they can give up their free-time and sleep in the event they've sold you on a dosage that results in godawful side-effects. If you get a, "Sorry, I don't do that"? Reply with, "Then I'm not doing it. I am not risking financial devastation over this. What are other medication options?"

If your doctor continues to push you on the drug that you don't like and makes you feel like crap no matter what dosage it's at? "Are you contractually incentivized or obligated with this pharmaceutical company to push [their medication if you're using a Brand Name and not generic] on me instead of ones that I could legitimately benefit from?"

If your doctor is being an absolute asshole about it? "You are a trained and certified expert, but you are NOT an authority. As the patient, I have full autonomy to tell you no, and you are professionally obligated to respect my decision."

And always remember that there is nothing against "the rules" about shopping for another doctor/specialist privately to see if you can find someone that's better at handling you and your situation. A lot of doctors fervently and unapologetically suck at their jobs and should stick to working in morgues and university classrooms, and like to use the pandemic to justify why you shouldn't gainsay them or even THINK to damage their egos by questioning their judgment.

Absolute worst-case scenario? Always remember you can just walk the hell out mid-session. "You aren't hearing me. This appointment is over."

And if you need to go off a psych med and the weaning process is too harsh? Look into specialist pharmacies that can "compound down" your dosage to much smaller step-downs so the withdrawal is much less intense. It will take longer to get off the meds completely, but it should be much gentler and less miserable if you're having too difficult a time with the typical step-down approach.

angrily takes venlafaxine even tho it doesn't do shit!!!!!! annoying!!! >:(

[1mechanicalalligator]

meds talk. mental health talk. ed talk. idk assume all trigger warnings probably. actually maybe don't even read it i'm just being difficult.

here's the thing. if i don't change my antipsychotic, my eating disorder is going to once again fully take over my life and destroy it. i thought i could stop it but i can't. i thought i was strong enough but i'm not. i have been trying so fucking hard but the side effects of the meds are too much and it's messing me up so badly and i cannot do this anymore.

the problem is that this antipsychotic is what keeps me functional and out of the hospital and, you know, alive. so it's a pretty fucking hellish decision to have to make, and it's terrifying, and i hate it.

essentially i'm risking more catastrophic mood episodes while i try to find a replacement drug that is both effective and affordable, if one even exists, which it may not, in order to prevent the imminent very real destruction of my physical body if i don't get my eating problems sorted out again.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

probably ignore this. i think i'm just seeking attention in all the worst ways and if you're reading this i am so so sorry.

[alreadytherenow]

Bipolar 2 disorder : yeah, I have it

EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING : mentions suicide

"She's so bipolar"

“The weather is so bipolar”

“Sometimes I'm like happy, and then I'm sad”

“He can't seem to stick to one emotion: totally bipolar”

I can't pretend, every single time I see the nonsense posts on facebook I get instantly pissed off. They represent such a gross misunderstanding of the symptoms of mental health disorders, and trivialize the struggles that people actually face.

I have bipolar 2 disorder, so I cannot speak from a position of personal authority on bipolar 1. Bipolar 2 disorder is a revolving door of hypomania and depressive episodes.

Hypomania

I've been up all night, paying and spending money for all sorts of weird things. I decided to write a book. I couldn't even come up with an idea btw, but I was there, prepared to pay for expensive software in order to do it perfectly.

I’ve also decided that I needed to get a part time job. I started googling, which was innocent enough. But I signed up for so many things, I was signing tax forms and scanning my ID card and my passport into random websites. I wanted to teach english to children in China, do amazon murk, surveys, trade bitcoin, trade shares, become a full time blogger, start a youtube channel, do video interviews, participate in a clinical trial, all in the same night.

Someone has probably already stolen my identity, complete with credit card information. (hi Sadie clone!)

I also decided in the middle of university that I had lost my brain. I couldn't feel it in my skull and thus I deduced that it was no longer in there. This first time of psychosis, I was prescribed antipsychotics, to calm me down quickly. The second time I had a psychotic episode, my brain was spinning, and I became convinced that the only way make it stop, was to break my fingers. I dropped the bed frame on my fingers, slammed them in the door, and resorted to going through the kitchen using pans and knives when they wouldn't break, until Saied caught up with me. So they upped the dose.

The people at the university clinic know me by name. I used to call at any hour in the morning, when things went south. Until it become common practice for Saied to say," We need to go to the clinic," whenever a new episode started.

Depression

My depression on the other hand? I don't bathe, I don't change my underwear, my hair becomes matted, I don't brush my teeth, the world is cloudy and dismal. I can't concentrate, and I sleep and eat too much. There are no breaks in my sorrow, it lasts for weeks without respite. And I'm so ready to die. TW: I contemplate suicide, or even attempt suicide. And then the feelings of stupidity and guilt stir up when you can't even kill yourself properly.

The actual symptoms of bipolar disorder are without question, dangerous and frustrating.

This graph summarizes things perfectly :

More info:

Depression, Mania, and Hypomania

Treatments

(Hypomania - the term used when you are high, but the symptoms are not as severe or extreme as in true mania.)

This summary of bipolar 2 disorder, does not completely explain its complexity. However, since my blog is going to feature my own mental health so frequently, it was important to present a framework for reference purposes.

If you feel like some of these things are relatable, please see a psychiatrist. Not a counsellor, not a good friend, not google, not a deep web forum, not tumblr. A medical doctor. This person will be able to genuinely assist you, with the necessary medication and recommend a qualified psychologist so that you can start therapy.

I understand however, that this will not always be financially possible. In this case, I recommend that you try to see the most qualified person that you can afford to see. I've seen a psychiatrist at a health center in Trinidad for free, so that might be a good place to start. I'm also going to try to locate some resources and post them in a later blog post.

Till then, don't bother to "stay strong". Cry as much and as often as you need to. Life is hard sometimes.

[peachie-anarchist]

it’s a combination of so many things that i literally have no way of changing.

it’s my brain and my body yes, i’m so tired of fighting the stupid feelings that i can’t escape no matter how logically i try to think about them, no matter how much i try to distract myself, no matter what the fuck i do i cannot escape this onslaught of feelings that i just feel so so intensely it’s like they’re amplified and on steroids at the same time. this is my BRAIN this how it’s wired how it’s set up i can’t fucking escape it, i can only hope for a cocktail of meds just to balance shit out

but it’s also the fact that i’m living with my 2 friends and i cannot find a job for the life of me. i cannot get insurance because i’m not on the lease with my friends and because i have 0 income. i don’t know how i’m gonna get past that but even if i do, it’s really not like i can even afford to see a doctor, much less a psychiatrist. and god fucking forbid if i try to get medications, my roommate has to pay $1600 for their newest antipsychotics and they have insurance and good coverage and everything.

that’s the other thing. not only do i have to fight my own brain and body, but i am going to have to fight the system too and i just don’t fucking have it in me. maybe i used all that fight amidst the neglect from my family on trying to just survive there for so long, i don’t know but it’s fucking nonexistent now. gone. i have nothing. like i don’t know what to do, i can’t make it any more clear i’m just done there is nothing i can do

[ag-pointer]

Indie Author Rants About: Mental Health in the UK

So I wrote this a while back and then my laptop crashed and then I had a few weeks of being a chicken. 

The UK is facing a mental health crisis. Every year there is a mental health awareness week that fills up our social media with helpful thoughts on how to cope with anxiety and depression whether you suffer with it or know someone who does. But we do not need a mental health awareness week. What we need is definitive action, desperately. Unfortunately, many of us are already all too aware of mental health problems and the monumental obstructions they place in the way of day to day life. If you are reading this and you do not think you have a mental health problem, you probably know someone who does. Following Theresa May’s announcement on mental health in January this year, the BBC released an article citing some upsetting figures on mental health in the UK. 

According to official figures from the UK government, 1 in 4 people are affected by mental disorder at some point in their life. Young people are more likely to be affected as over half of problems begin to show at 14 and 75% at 18. Whilst the government recognises that young women represent the ‘highest mental health risk’ the rates for suicide are higher than ever in young men. It is also no coincidence that every ‘mental health awareness’ barrage seen on social media seems to focus mostly on depression and anxiety and related problems. Rates of people diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or both, are soaring in the UK.  And whilst I am often the last person that would advocate attempts to reduce causes of depression and anxiety down to being situational alone, we have to face the figures on this. 

A UK wide survey for the Prince’s Trust this year found that over 58% of 16 – 25 year olds said that political events had made them fearful for their futures, with 41% more anxious than a year ago. 50% felt that it is harder to get a job than a year ago, and 42% felt traditional goals like home ownership or a steady job were unrealistic. Almost half of young people in this country see a steady job and home ownership – basic human needs – as unattainable. Is it any wonder they are suffering from depression and anxiety when they are constantly afraid that they may never find a viable job to pay for soaring rent, let alone afford to buy a home? And where does this leave our young people? At home with their parents far longer than any generation before them, craving an independence constantly glamorised on the tv, on Instagram and facebook etc, yet always out of reach. 28% of those surveyed felt out of control of their lives.

This is a recipe for a mental health crisis in anyone. And that is without the additional pressures faced by today’s youth from social media like Instagram and snap chat, with their unattainable beauty standards and the constant race to keep up with them. 45% of those surveyed were stressed about body image. In a world where it is an uphill struggle on a bike that is on fire just to find a job that will maybe at some point get you out from under your parents’ feet, young people are also being told they have to lose weight for that ‘beach body’, yet somehow possess the buns of Kim K and don’t forget to get those eyebrows just right! That beach body, by the way is a potentially deadly goal for many – thigh gaps, visible rib cages and ‘bikini bridges’ for many young women come along with eating disorders that wreak havoc on physical and mental health. And it isn’t just women feeling the pressure in this regard – young men too are increasingly worried about their body image to the point where their mental health is suffering.

Depression, anxiety and eating disorders are some of the biggest health challenges faced by young people. Yet the government admits there is a disparity between the understanding and treatment of mental and physical health. My own GP informed me, after diagnosing me with depression and anxiety disorder that they no longer refer patients for counselling. Instead, I was ushered out of the door with a print out of a few charities in the area that 'may be able to help'.

The Macquerie Youth Index found that the overall well-being of young people in the UK is at its lowest since the index was commissioned in 2009. Jeremy Hunt admits that care for young people with mental health problems is a ‘black spot’ in need of immediate attention. So what is being done about it? It would appear that since the advent of Conservative rule in Britain, mental health has been on a frightening downward spiral, exacerbated by socio-political events that have decimated the quality of life for young people in this country. Well in January this year, our PM got up and told us her plans to deal with this crisis.

https://www.conservatives.com/sharethefacts/2017/01/transforming-mental-health-support

Mrs May told us that mental health was being dangerously disregarded. Her solution? To focus on schools. She announced plans to introduce mental health first aid training in schools, and ‘trials’ to strengthen links between schools and NHS Specialist staff. But Education professionals are echoing concerns raised by the charity known as Sane which pointed out that plans needed to be ‘matched by substantially increased funds to mental health trusts’. As Jeremy Corbyn Pointed out last year on PMQs, around 40% of mental health trusts have seen budget cuts year on year since 2011. Meanwhile, demand for mental health services has risen by around 20%. Yet there has been no mention of increasing funds to these trusts, or increasing the NHS budget for mental health. The PM went on to pledge more focus on community care such as ‘crisis cafés’ and local clinics with an extra £15m towards this. That is £15 million, for the whole of the UK. I am all for local clinics. But with a relatively minute budget,  and a reluctance to deal with mental health within the NHS,

I doubt the sincerity of this gesture. As for crisis café’s, whilst they are theoretically a nice concept, the reality is that they offer little to no professional help for those in need of it. At best they may help to dissolve some of the stigma that surrounds even mentioning one’s mental health. But they aren’t a new concept. They have already existed across the UK and whilst a helpful resource for some, government investment in this as opposed to clinics and mental health professionals is a waste of funds. Speaking to people with experiences of the mental health system here in the UK, it is clear that many regard group therapy as a cop-out – a kind of self help service which gets you no real diagnosis and thus no real help from the system. But this comes as a part of the government’s plans to remove emphasis from patients visiting GPs and A&E and instead placing it on ‘community care’, which, quite frankly, sounds a lot like shirking government or NHS responsibility, and leaving it to charities to deal with the growing mental health problem. I for one cannot see how this is in any way going towards fixing the disparity between care for mental and physical health. It seems that the attitude of this government is to sweep mental health under the carpet and hope it goes away.

Sure, they did pledge to divert around £67.7m on of their existing NHS digitisation budget towards online services such as a mental health symptom checker before getting a face to face appointment. But don’t those already exist? And exactly how does this help in improving care? An online symptom check is not an official diagnosis, you will still have to see a GP. And without an official diagnosis there is no chance of receiving any kind of disability benefit if your mental health is affecting your ability to work. Nor are concessions made for those forced onto Universal Credit as they look for work. One is expected to spend 35 hours a week looking for work if unemployed. That’s five hours a day. And along with this you must attend weekly meetings with a work coach who will look at the list of things you have done, print off a sheet of paper that threatens you with withdrawal of funds should you shirk on your duties, and send you on your way, with permission required to leave the country or take any kind of holiday. It is a frustrating, stressful and altogether unpleasant situation to be in, for anyone. Add anxiety or depression into the mix and it becomes a recipe for disaster. Even if you get a diagnosis from your GP, there is little to no clear information on what to do next if you are struggling. So, Mrs May, that £67.7m is only another waste of time and crucially, funds that could be used to improve care rather than delay it.

A diagnosis is difficult enough to get without more of NHS funds being diverted towards creating more hoops to jump through. Last week I interviewed a young woman in Dartford who told me about her struggle with mental health, and in particular with the NHS to get the correct diagnosis and following this, the correct treatment. I spoke with an acquaintance from the Dartford and Gravesham area about her experience with mental health problems. (Name omitted) is 23 years old and has bipolar disorder. She tells me that it took years to get her diagnosis. She kept getting ‘lost in the system’, was given antidepressants which worsened her bipolar disorder due to a misdiagnosis, and was frequently told that they did not want to label her. “Antidepressants just ruined my life. They still said they didn’t want to label me. They put me on antipsychotics – this is working, but they still wouldn’t give a diagnosis. And that’s because they would lose money in diagnosing me.” She is not alone in her struggles. GP’s have been offered incentives to avoid referrals, and as a diagnosis is needed to be considered for disability benefits, there are a great number of people with serious mental health problems going undiagnosed, expected to soldier on.

The only counselling offered to (Name omitted) was a group therapy session, which she felt would be less than helpful, and a referral to a Christian charity, not an NHS professional. Now that she has finally been given a diagnosis, she tells me she still feels that mental health services here are at an appalling standard: “I have to say the mental health team in this area has been rubbish, I never get letters from them, I’ve missed appointments and been discharged because I never got the letters. I went for an appointment once in Swanley, they left me alone in that room for 20 mins, there was a shattered frame in that room and I could hear them talking about my case in the next room. They’ve now actually shut down that institution.” This is just one example of poorly trained unprofessional staff and facilities unfit for purpose – and frankly dangerous. And the closure of facilities is no solution. This comes as a direct result of the lack of funding for mental health in the UK. The serious lack of funding had led to many humanitarian disasters up and down the country, with frequent reports of the mentally ill being kept in police cells or inappropriate wards due to the lack of beds and facilities.

With everyone's attention on Brexit, it is important to make sure that we don't forget the urgent problems people face in the UK. If you, like myself, have found it a struggle to get professional help with mental health in your area, I urge you to contact your local MP, as I will be doing. We cannot let them brush us under the carpet again and again. Mental health is being talked about in the media at the moment, so we need to make sure people keep talking, and talking about the issues that matter most.