#i can't get through college and my family only uses me to fix their things

[wrenscoffin]

More venting in the tags, again just ignore me.

I'm gonna have to do this a couple of times, tag limits exist after all.

I don't know what to do, I need to vent but I uninstalled all social media besides this hellsite app, so I'm going to vent in the tags, just ignore me if you see this.

[changeling-droneco]

Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled

First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but

This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.

Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.

YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD

I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)

First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?

This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???

Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.

The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR

This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management

A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though

Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.

I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.

Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative

Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!

Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!

In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL

Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!

My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"

I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders

Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.

I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY

Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful

Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company

Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK

We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.

I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.

Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN

First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"

Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?

If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE

Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes

"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."

First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.

"What is the goal of our content?

To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."

That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign

"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"

Gross

"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."

Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors

"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."

It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.

"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.

How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."

If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd

"It’s okay for the boys to be childish

If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"

More favoritism

"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"

Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.

"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."

I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man

[flamingpudding]

I'm back with a part 4 if you want to do it it's kind of more of a crack write I just need Klarion trying to explain the family tree

But not explaining how he was made at all So Young Justice and the Justice League are now convinced that a the Ghost King was a teenage parent who is now 27 years old and just passed college with a degree in astronomy and machinery

Klarion's other parent is a a crazy fruit loop 64 year old millionaire who went to college with Klarion's Mom parents who had an emotionally unhealthy obsession with his mom's mother and then it passed on to his mom.

And he has an older sister who is technicality a clone of his mom but also has the bastards DNA so fundamentally making Ellie Vlad Master and Mom's first born kid but there's six other siblings that Klarion had that died back a while back but Mom got granddad who's apparently the time lord AKA Cronos which is a whole another long story to go back in time and save those kids get them fixed up and now Klarion technicality has seven older siblings which all do their own things

And then he starts mentioning his uncle who is a 9 ft yeti his technicality auntie who is a medieval ghost princess who can turn into a dragon his auntie Pandora and his his grandfather cronos

My names for the six other clone children are Donald (he/him), Cecelia (they/she), Bartholomew(Them/They), Kyle AKA Bite(He/It), Brutus(He/They), and then there's Danna (She/Her) who actually really like the name Dan and asked Klarion if could have it when Klarion changed his name

Sorry if this is a little bit too much I've just really been thinking about au for this after the last part you made I hope this helps you with your writing or at least makes you laugh but I really love the idea of Danny's AKA somewhat clone children and finding their own personalities and and fighting themselves out of just being failed clone of their mom also I love the idea of Danny going back in time to save the rest of the clone kids cuz now he's a mature adult who wants to save their lives and wants them to grow into their own people.

(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

I probably did way to much research into all the fandoms I am in to see what I could tie into this... And yet this feels shorter than it should but I also currently lack the time to add more. But for now I hope this will be satisfactorily.

Also this family tree idea especially the part of saving the melted clones. LOVE IT!

So even though it took me a while! here is Part 4 you inspired! Thanks so much for the ask!

------------------

"Dude, you are making us only curious!" Impulse spoke up as he sat down next to Klarion who had his head in his hands. "Like you and your mom can't just drop your family lore like that!"

The witch boy on the other hand looked up with narrowed eyes at the speedster. "What lore?"

"Let's see, the part that apparently a Vlad tried to kill your Grandpa to make friends several time. That your mom is 'ghost' adopted by the lord of time Cronos and Pandora, which makes us family too by the way, and that you have a sister that apparently is even crazier than what we got to know of your family so far." Wonder Girl counted off her fingers next to him grinning as she mentioned the part of probably being a part of his 'crazy' family too. Which hell yea, that sounded like a lot of fun to be explored she would have to talk with Wonder Woman about that as soon as possible.

"Also..." Red Robin added as he flipped through the photo album that apparently no one remembered he had. He was turning it around and pointed at a particular photo with a wild bunch of people in it that varied between more human and well... less humanoid people. One of them definitely was a Yeti and there was also what looked like living armor as well as Teekly (they knew that demon cat at least), a giant green dog and for some reasons there was a green aggressive looking Octopus in the background too. "...how are you related to a Yeti?"

"Hey that man there and those other teens in the picture actually have some resembles with you! Do you have older brothers too?" Superboy additionally asked as he moved around Red Robin to see the photo better pointing at a man that appeared to be in this late twenties, blue eyed, black haired and a little on the buffer side. If he didn't know any better and the fact that he should keep his mouth shut about their actual identities he would have jokingly asked Red Robin if his family would like to add more kids considering Klarions family apparently had a bunch of black haired blue eyed members too, judging by the photo at least.

"What are you talking about. That man is my mom and yes the others are actually my older brothers and that Yeti is uncle Frostbite who also happens to be the best medic in the Infinite Realms" The four teen heroes looked stunned at the picture and then back at the Ghost King that was smiling at them, still seated by the dinner table with their mentors. Who by the way were now perking up at the change of topic and the information they could gain with it, well Wonder Woman was more interested in the apparently extended family she had.

"Oh I remember we took this photo last year, it was such a hassle to get everyone into one place with them all being busy doing their own things." Danny mused for a moment, remembering fondly how he had to literally drag some of the kids home through a portal.

"It was more annoying than anything too since I was declared to be the youngest...." Klarion muttered also remembering that day not as fondly as his mother.

"Wait, wait, wait! That is a picture of your family? I need an explanation buddy!" Impulse cut in without shame, quickly removing the picture from the photo album to get a better look at it before holding it out to Klarion so he could explain all the individuals. "Plus why does your mom look soooo.... human?"

The witch boy on the other hand stared at him for a couple of seconds before looking over towards his mother as if waiting for something. After a moment the teen heroes as well as their mentors saw Danny nod with a little smile. "This dimension doesn't have the GIW so its fine, the Justice League Dark won't be a problem either, right?." Constantine flinched at the smile the Ghost King was giving him, muttering something under his breath as he had hoped his presence had been forgotten.

"Since mom is giving his okay...." Klarion mutter sitting crosslegged on the ground as he snatched the photo album from Red Robin and flipped through it. "Lets start with the easiest stuff to explain."

Danny chuckled noticing that not only the teen heroes but their mentors as well showed an interest. He choose to stay quiet letting the adults listen in on the kids, and if things went bad he would just ask Clockwork if they could revert time back to this moment and he would change his nod of permission to a shake of denial.

"Okay first of, this is my mom and his sister Jasmine, this is Danielle my older sister and that hulk with flaming white hair and blueish skin is me. That was before I got deaged because of destabilising." Klarion explained flipping to a photo of him, Danny, Jazz and Danielle. "Mom was around fifteen, Aunt Jazz about seventeen and Ellie should have been about a year old but she was aged up to twelve. They look human in this one because well they are. Mom was originally human and became what you call in this dimension a Meta through an accident."

"Wait... that would mean your mom... How could he have two kids at that age of fourteen? You look like an adult and your sister was aged up?" Wonder Girl couldn't help but ask as she looked from the photo and back to Danny at the dinner table again.

"That's cause Vlad was a fu-"

"Language Klarion!"

"Vlad was a fruitloop. That photo was taken shortly after Vlad and I sort of redeemed our selfs. Plus, mom didn't really have my sister and me willingly.... we were kind of forced upon him in a way." Klarion explained shrugging. "Old Man Vlad had an obsession with his mom that then turned on mom, which resulted in my oldest sister Danielle first. Actually, a lot of my elder siblings resulted from that, but they didn't survive it the first time, Mom got Old Man Clocks help to save them once he got used to being the Ghost King. I got added to the mix shortly after my sister, but... i wasn't in the best state of mind at first, kind of went through a redemption phase in which mom had to fix the timeline of our original home dimension, too."

Danny chuckled again at the disturbed looks the teens were giving his son as well as the looks their mentors sent him. He probably should correct Klarion's wording... but being one of the gremlins of his family he just smiled on, not commenting. He really understands now why Pops Clockwork liked watching the chaos he used to cause as teen, and still sometimes causes as adult.

"Klarion... how old is this Old Man Vlad?" Red Robin asked grimacing as his eyes under the mask flicked up to the Ghost King and then back to the witch boy both seemingly unbothered by the disturbing information they were sharing.

"In human years... probably around 67? You stop counting age at some point if your a halfa." Klarion shrugged, not noticing the grimaces of the teens around him. "Anyway, Ellie is sort of the first born. I came in after that, with my core being a mix of Mom and Vlad. Not DNA wise though since I came to be because of their ghost cores. That's why I look like that in this photo. Though human DNA wise I am probably now mostly Moms, we never bothered to ask the old man."

Danny muffled another chuckle, coughing as Superman sent him an incredulous look of shook while he felt Batmans burning gaze on him.

"You... mentioned more siblings?" Red Robin asked carefully sharing a look with his team, feeling like there was a whole lot of trauma in Klarions family he wasn't sure they should address or not. So asking after his siblings was probably, hopefully the safest option. They didn't know that while there was trauma in the witch boy's family it was not the kind they were imagining.

"Yea I got a bunch more brothers, Vlad was a evil crazy fuitloop, before he redeemed himself. They all kind of melted in one timeline but mom and Grandpa Clock found a way to save them." Klarion nodded flipping to another photo containing him, as he looked now, and all his siblings.

"So, Ellie you know about already. The one with the sunglasses and died hair is Bartholomew, second oldest. They made themselves a home in other dimension, barely at home cause he has to much fun messing with something called a 'Starstream' by being a 'Constellation' and throwing gold coins at 'Incarnations'. Don't ask me what that means, I barely pay attention when he gushes about his favorit 'Incarnation'. They spent like all their money and pocket money there. Aunt Jazz thinks he might develop a gambling addiction if we don't stop his spendings." The teen heroes eyed the teen that looked like a young adult grinning in the photo as the witch boy pointed at the one next to them. "The one with the vile is my elder brother Bite, most responsible one of this bunch. Mom even allowed him to take care of a couple of dimensions by taking the role of being their God of Death. I think he messed them up more than helped but he is doing a somewhat good job, even if he is sort of obsessed with making some red head his saint or something..."

"One of your sibs is a God?" Impulse gabbed and Klarion just blinked at him with a shrug. "My Grandfather is the ruler of Time, your point is? Wonder Girl is also related to a God of your dimension."

"Never mind him, moving on." A yelp resounded as Superboy pushed Impulse head down leaning in more to see the photo better. "You got one emo looking brother there!"

"Oh that's Yamikumo, he is like a year or two older than me right now, in human years. He barely got any of mom's powers so he choose to try to life a somewhat normal life but weirdly enough he choose a dimension that is ruled by people who have powers and abilities, you know like the Meta Humans of this dimension. Now that I think about it, he is also the only one who actually is studying on how to be a Hero."

"Do you end up fighting with him if he studies to be a hero?" Wonder Girl whisper asked him with a quick glance towards their mentors, to which Klarion shook his head. "As long as we leave the dimensions one of us choose to live in alone we usually don't fight about stuff like that, aside from the usual sibling fights that is. Then again I do have some siblings that like to make bets like who is better at ruling as demon lord, or who can safe a dying timeline quicker."

Danny chuckled again as he watched the kids, Klarion had definitely caused some misunderstandings with his wording. Then again it wasn't like Klarion said anything that wasn't true, but then again his son loved chaos. So there was a suspicion that Klarion intentionally choose the way he worded the explanation about how he and Ellie came to be as well as the rest of siblings.

"So....." Superman slowly started wondering how he should bring up the topic. "...you became a mom at 14?"

"Say Danny is there a way for me to meet this Vlad? You know since we are family." Wonder Woman also asked smiling in a certain way that reminded Danny of Valerie when she was mad but didn't want to show right away how mad she was, to which the Ghost King on reflex could do nothing but gulp for a moment. Not noticing that a green post it note appeared on the table before him.

[idyllcy]

for all time/lovebrush chronicles boys as cliché tropes

word count: 645

summary: lovebrush boys as cliche tropes !

Ai Yin / Ayn - Competitors - Whaaat? Why not Clarence ?? HEAR ME OUT.

You're a musician. You're like the musician ever— probably a pianist just to piss him off. The two of you always tie first for piano competitions. There's no argument. If he's there, you're there. If he's first, you're first. The two of you are both prodigy pianists and there's no room for argument. Thus arises the issue. Your name is always followed by his— or his name is always followed by yours. You guys hate it. Or so you say. Because when you're missing from a competition for the first time in years, he's very much confused as to where you are, and it almost feels empty without you. Wha— what did he just say? That was definitely not him.

Lu Chen / Alkaid - Deskmates - oh that's so cliché (I know)

The two of you are paired up as deskmates for the year. It's a little awkward at first until you get used to him, and then it just breaks into everyone else eating dog food (third-wheeling). He brings you breakfast because you skip eating it, and you fix his tie when it's crooked... he always picks calls for you when he needs an extra hand, you always drop everything you have to help him... you two are practically dating. Which raises the question. are you dating? Or is Alkaid just taking care of you because he thinks you're forgetful and clumsy? The love letter slipped into your desk seems to say otherwise, though.

Luo Xia / Lars - Arranged Marriage - I didn't think this could get more cliché

You get arranged into a marriage with him for one reason— your family's going bankrupt, so they have to sell their only child to the Luos because like. Idk that's a cliché, it's a trope, IT'S HAPPENING TO YOU. PERIOD. At first you're like terrified and he's super scary and cold and lowkey kind of rude, but he still kind of cares since when you first move in, he has the servants move all of your stuff, and yu almost feel like you're home. He's just not very vocal about liking you though; so when your family's business breaks out of bankruptcy and you're told you can divorce him if you want, and then he's like "no please don't take my spouse from me ☹️" and then next thing you know you're being pampered to the moon and back. (You end up staying with him.)

Si Lan / Clarence - Love at First Sight - HEAR ME OUT ON THIS.

You're an unassuming new student at school, completely unbothered. You do not know he's the student council president. You're just at the nurse's office because your mom's the nurse or smth. Then, he's admitted into the office because he overworked himself on accident, and you're like "errrr I'll help. sure" And what does he see upon first waking up? You. The sun behind your head gives you a halo, and you look angelic. He thinks he's hallucinating. "God, did I die?" "Erm... not quite!" Then you nurse him back to health, and he's having a moment (he can't forget you) but dw you eventually end up together 👍

Ye Xuan / Cael - Brother's Best Friend - you did not (oh yes I did)

Cael, your brother's calm best friend who seems to have no interest in dating anyone at all. Cael, your brother's best friend who's been there for you as long as you can remember. Cael, your brother's best friend who helps you through college hell, voice calm and soothing as you cry about the homework. Cael, your brother's best friend who never lets himself slip when you're around (regardless of how bad he actually likes you) Cael, your brother's best friend who tries his best to resist you when you're on top of him, breath heavy with alcohol and almost drunk. Cael, your brother's best friend who doesn't fight it when you pull him in for a kiss at the door when he comes to check up on you the next day. and Cael, who can't say no to you when you spill out your feelings for him on paper, spilling out his own when you meet up with him.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Ok, LISTEN. I'm about half way through seven minuets in heaven pt.2, but because I'm working on it while watching season 2, I got SatoSugu on my mind. so...

Now Presenting...

A little SatoSugu themed supplementary material.

Ok, so let's start standard 

Suguru is a psychology major with a minor in musical performance 

Satoru is a theoretical physics major with no minor because "ew, minors."

Suguru joined the ABO frat because fraternity housing is wayyy fucking cheaper than living in the dorms. Plus, easy access to booze.

Gojo did it for the memes and cause his best friend was joining. 

Suguru is for sure an alcoholic and in denial about it

Gojo smoked weed once and won't shut up about it. He does take a weak ass edible every once in awhile to sleep though.

Gojos tolerance is absolutely shit. Two shots and three puffs in and he is gone!

Suguru on the other hand could drink an entire bottle of tequila and smoke 12 joints and only really be kinda buzzed. 

Suguru is definitely in denial about his bisexuality. Everything that he does with Gojo is just for female attention, ya know?

Especially when they're making out alone in their shared room. That's definitely for attention. Source:just trust me bro

Gojo is very comfortable in his pansexuality, and has been known to use "are you a frying pan? Cause you're so fucking hot" as a pickup line.

Ok, now for their background!

Suguru and Gojo actually grew up together, and are the closest anyone can get to childhood friends,

Which morphed into the well documented phenomenon of an all too intense friendship that blurs the line of friends and dating, where if one of them were the opposite gender they would totally be together, but because they’re both boys there using that as a shield to avoid confronting their identities beyond the default settings

They were each other's first kiss 💋 

Gojo actually had really kind and loving parents who were very supportive. 

Sugurus' mom died when he was young though, leaving him and his dad to struggle. His dad wasn't necessarily bad, but he did have to work constantly and therefore wasn't home often.

Gojo was naturally smart and school came very easy to him. Meanwhile, Suguru struggled a lot, specifically with anything math related. 

This led to Gojo, with his great grades and generational wealth, being able to go to basically any college he wanted to. 

He still decided to go to the local community College in the end, at least to get his gen-eds and the first few years of his major out of the way at a heavily discounted price.

Yea, Suguru had no such opportunity, his options were community College or to start working with his dad as a mechanic immediately. 

And while he's not opposed to the idea of working with his father, and will even work with him for some extra spending money in the summers, he really wanted to give the whole higher education thing a shot. 

He's very proud to be in his community College, as he's the first person in his family to even attempt to get a degree

Now, here's how they are in a relationship because you can't have just one.

These boys have historically shared everything: their hot wheels, their Xbox, their bed, and their women. You are no exception. Lucky you 💜💙

When it comes to the three of you together, you find the boys actually work extremely well as a unit.

Where one struggles, the other thrives. Gojo isn't great when it comes to emotional venting and stuff, always looking to "fix" it.

Suguru is better at actually listening and only offering advice when you ask. He’s always willing to just cuddle and listen.

Suguru is terrible to try and watch movies with, he gets bored so fast. Meanwhile Gojo is obsessed with movies. 

Gojos fixer attitude also comes in clutch whenever you need to get something done, but just do not have it in you to do it. Need to call a doctor but have phone anxiety? Gojos your man.

Suguru craves to be the primary partner for both you and Gojo. Yes he's aware this is irrational, no he's not sure what to do about it. All he knows is that he gets jealous when he sees you with Gojo, and has to find ways to cope.

To his credit, he's never made this a problem for anyone other than himself, and he is actively working on it. 

Gojo on the other hand fucking loves to see you and Suguru spending time together. Those are his two favorite people in the god damn world, aren't they cute?!

Sugurus love language is music. He'll make you playlists, old fashioned mix tapes, and has forced you to listen to vinyl with him. He's written songs about you too, though he's too shy to show them off.

Will play his guitar for you only when asked because he knows the optics of 'frat guy with a guitar' are not ideal.

Gojo shows his love by sharing his candy. Splitting a Kit Kat, giving you a handful of skittles, sharing a sleeve of oreos. If Gojo shares his sweets with you he wants to marry you.

They two of you bond by baking together. You buy new cute molds and cookware together and set up entire spreads based on one theme.

Suguru was probably the first one to be in your life: I.E. the one that you agreed to date before realizing (and agreeing to) the package deal.

But Gojo said I love you first. He feels everything at 100% and hides none of it.

He said it loudly and in front of the rest of the frat, showing you off to everyone. 

When Suguru said it for the first time though, it was quiet; whispered to you late at night while you were curled up in his arms.

Both of the boys are massive cuddle bugs!

You call them Sugubear and Satotoro. Gojo loves it and Suguru does too, but he pretends he doesn't. 

[thezombieprostitute]

Music in the Air

A/N: Written for Vee's Holly Jolly Challenge (@sstan-hoe). Reader is implied fem, "girls like me". No physical descriptors used.

Prompts: Bucky Barnes - My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on.

Summary: You and Bucky discuss poinsettias.

Bucky's arm was having problems. Again. In all the years he had the arm he never really got to understand how it worked. He could figure out how to fix a lot of things, but his arm wasn't one of them. That's why he was glad he had you to turn to. You had quickly become his go-to engineer in the Avengers Tower. You were a rare and delightful combination of "not afraid of him" and "not overly friendly". You would smile, but let him initiate the conversation when he wanted.

At least, normally you were his favorite. Ever since December started you only every played Christmas music in your lab. He was still trying to get used to how much the holiday had changed and the music was, well, a lot. Especially when you were always listening to some kind of heavy metal Christmas music and he had only ever heard Christmas music sung a capella or maybe a church organ.

"Do you really need to listen to that music all the time?"

You smiled while working, "I did the respectful thing and waited until December before I started listening."

"Yeah, but it's just so..." he struggled to find the words.

"Non-traditional?"

"Jarring."

"Well, Sergeant Barnes," you reply, setting your tools down, "My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on. However, I am willing to switch it for something that's maybe a little more your speed."

You walk over to your laptop and open up your playlist. It takes you a minute, but you finally find the song you're looking for and press the play button. As the speakers sing a lighter, slower tune, you turn back to Bucky, "you should be grateful. I don't turn off Trans Siberian Orchestra for just anyone."

Bucky blushed as he smiled, listening to the song. It was very different from what you had been listening to. For a start, there were lyrics. They told the story of a poinsettia named Percy and how had been overlooked and abandoned but grew and shone when given love. He almost smacked himself for having empathy for an imaginary plant.

To distract himself he said, "I'm surprised you like this song. It's so different from what you were listening to before."

You smile and respond, "it's a childhood favorite. This song just really hit my heart in a way no other Christmas song did. It stuck with me so much that, even in college if I saw my flowers for sale that were wilting or on their last legs, I'd buy them. Just to make sure they had love before they fully wilted."

Bucky looked at you with a softness in his eyes before you shook your head, "I know, it's stupid. I was an adult, I should've known better but some things just stick with you, you know?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I know. Did you stop buying flowers because you kept getting them from dates or something?"

You chuckle, "I stopped because I had to prioritize my budget. I can't remember the last time I had flowers in my apartment. But thank you for the compliment."

"What do you mean? The guys you date don't give you flowers?"

"Girls like me don't get dates, Sergeant. I'm not whatever enough for guys to ask me out. Whether it's my size, my intelligence, my hobbies, there's just always something that keeps guys from asking me out, let alone bringing me flowers. But, again, thank you for the compliment."

You set down your tools and start putting them away, "your arm is all patched up. Hope this fix lasts you at least through the end of the year. I've got a lot of projects to finish up before the end of the year so I might not have the time to take care of you."

"You're not staying here for Christmas, are you?"

"I am," you nod. "My family celebrates holidays on days that aren't the day of so that we can avoid traffic and last-minute shoppers. So I set up an office lunch for the people who either don't celebrate, have nowhere to go, or whatever other reasons. Mr. Stark has been very generous with the budget for that."

"I'm glad you won't be alone on Christmas," he gives you a gentle smile.

"How about you," you ask. "You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

"Sam is insisting on taking me to Louisiana," he replies.

"Good," you assert. "I'm very glad you also won't be alone on Christmas."

You really shouldn't have been surprised to see the poinsettia on your desk the next day. There was no note, but you suspected. It wasn't very big and it had started wilting, but you loved it nonetheless. You gently hugged the plant and promised to give it the best of care for as long as it needed. After a week it was like a brand new plant, bright and strong. Doesn't hurt that you asked the biolab techs for help and resources.

It made Bucky's year to see how big your smile was, watching your poinsettia grow and how much you clearly loved it. It took him a while after to gather his courage and ask you on a date but your quick "yes" reassured him. Neither of you would ever be alone on Christmas.

[chubbygirlmaddy14]

The Dollmaker: The Cabin

Dale Kobble x reader

A/N: This is not proof-read and I’m so incredibly sorry for the wait, college and work have not been nice to me but I finally have a chapter up so hope you enjoy!! :3

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/374688245?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=chubby_girl_maddy16

Chapter 18: The Cabin (1,115 words)

The drive felt way longer than it was. The tension was rising every mile we drove. What was I going to do now? I'm spending the next week or two in a cabin with a murderer, not just anyone though.

Longlegs

The one man I had been on the hunt for ever since I got here, and now he's driving my car up to a cabin for us to hide away. The trees started melting together as I looked out the window for too long drowning in my head before I felt his hand on my thigh, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"You okay?" he said softly looking up at me as I turn my head, "yeah I just... it's all so much." grabbing my hand he kisses it softly before holding it tight, "I promise we'll work it through."

I smile back at him before he pulls off into the driveway, going through the hidden woods before seeing the cabin sitting there. Parking the car we get out, grab all of our stuff, and unlocking the door set all of our stuff down in the living room.

It was past midnight by the time we got there, exhaustion hitting me harder than I expected it. Turning around Dale walks over, wrapping his arms around my waist as mine comes up to his shoulders. "It'll all be okay my little angel," leaning down his lips meet mine, making me pull him in closer.

All my fears and worries melted into his lips, making me as relaxed as I think i'll ever be again. Pulling away to catch my breath I see his eyes not looking away from me, "what?"

He shrugs, still smiling down at me "how did I get little miss fbi agent wrapped around my finger?" Rolling my eyes I slap his arm playfully as I walk away before feeling him come behind and pick me up. My laughs and "let me go" fall through deaf ears before he's sitting us down on the couch making me comfy in his lap.

  Resting my head on his chest I sigh as he pushes his fingers through my hair, carefully untangling the knots that had made their way into it, "you have a lot on your mind." I take a deep breath before looking up at him, "what are we gonna do?"

  He looks at me confused a bit before I talk again, "I'm on one of the longest going murder cases where we live, and now i'm sitting on said murderers lap letting him play with my hair as we hide from everyone so you don't get caught."

  Not saying a word he just sits and listens to me, "they know what you look like now... it'll only be a matter of time." Pushing my head back against his chest, he sits like he's as calm as can be.

  "I have a friend that will make all this go away sweetheart, you don't need to worry about a thing." Closing my eyes I take a deep breath, the sound of his heart beat soon pulling me into sleep without realizing it.

Longlegs POV:

  I knew he would fix all this mess that led up to this. Looking down at y/n, I can't help but smile, she was my gift. A gift he sent just for me and all that I've done for him. I couldn't think of anything better.

  Seeing her passed out against me, I stand up and make my way into the closest bedroom that I found, setting her down to make sure she was as comfortable as possible.

  Moving away from the room for a bit I look around the small house, the little photos of her family and her as she grew up throughout the years, getting to know little things about her more through them. I needed her just like she needs me.

  It was small yes, but it felt right being here knowing she was here voluntarily. She didn't run, she didn't scream, she didn't need to fight me before taking me down to turn me in. I knew she wouldn't have, but I could tell she was scared of it all.

  I understood why though, she could get in trouble just like me, but the drive over made me realize more and more that he'll soon help me.

  Moving back to the room, I make my way under the covers to feel her moving into my side. "Get some rest, don't spend all night staring at me creep." I giggle a bit, rubbing her back as I kiss her forehead softly, "but I like staring at you."

  If her eyes were open I would've seen them rolling back like always, I can make them roll another way. Shaking my head from the thoughts I close my eyes as I hear her breathing even as soon falling asleep beside her.

Y/N POV:

  I wake up feeling the sun shine through the curtains, groaning as it hits against my face. Feeling the bed beside me empty, I sit up confused looking around the room. Standing up, I stretch my back out before heading into the kitchen.

Where is he?

  The front door opens wide, dale walking in with groceries and my eyes go wide. "Morning my angel," he says moving past me to set the bags down before looking over at me. "Why did you leave? You could've been seen, you know you can't do that. Do you wanna get caught I just-" I ramble on and on keeping eye contact with him.

  He walks closer, his hands moving onto my face as I keep talking before he leans in, pushing his lips against mine. My eyes fall closed as I relax into him, grabbing his wrists to keep him there.

His hands soon moved to my hips, picking me up without letting go each other and setting me on the counter. My legs wrap around his waist to pull him in more, the kiss growing heated.

  I pull away from him to catch my breath, his lips moving down to my neck as he squeezes my waist, "Dale-" my breathing gets heavy, leaning my head back giving him more access "I have work to do~"

  He pulls away looking in my eyes, "I don't think you mind it though do you?" His hands fall on my chin pulling my face closer to him.

  My face turns bright red, "make me some breakfast and maybe I'll show you if I do or not." He smirks before kissing me one more time, pulling away and moving to the groceries.

This is going to be a long two weeks

[somerandomg33k]

I just got paid today. About $2100 in net pay. Typical for about 110 to 120 hours of work over two weeks. So $375 into the joint account I share with my brothers that I live with to cover for my portion of rent and bills. And I will put another $375 next paycheck. $700 towards the Chase Amazon credit card. $200 to the bank credit card. $150 to my friend Lynnaquinn, good enough for groceries this week for her and her spouse, hopefully. And $250 for Johanna to get her out of the red and have enough for her phone bill, hopefully. Accounting for the $106 payment for my PC, and all other future charges covered on my two credit cards, I pretty much have $383 left in the checking account today. Or will once all of other the charges go through. So yea, just got paid $2100 and it is almost gone.

And still want to spend a little money on myself. Spending $100 for vbucks just to get more Fortnite skins, even after owning 573 of them. And after already spending $6000 on Fortnite in the two years I have been playing it. Getting myself a frozen pizza just because as well.

But yet, part of me just wants to instantly give Phoenix the $380. Because they are also really struggling. They expressed they can't keep going on like this. Been like this for years for Phoenix.

Another Paycheck that once I instantly get it, I need another one. I don't have enough to make sure my friends have a comfortable life. I don't have enough to get my teeth fixed. Haven't been to the dentist in years. And I emotionally broke down at the suggestion I should focus on myself and take care of my credit card debt. But that also feels impossible.

I hate budgeting. So I am really really bad at doing it. I just feels like not spending money at all. When Fortnite players, like my friends, talk about "saving vbucks" there is no such thing as saving vbucks. All saving vbucks is is simply not spending vbucks. Not getting the skins you want in the item shop.

The only way I see making any dent into my credit card debt is not giving money to my friends in need. Not spending as much money as I do. Or working as much overtime as I can. 12 hours days 6 days a week. Or any combination of the three, or all three. And when I do work 12-hour days, I have like 15 fifteen minutes in the morning, all used to get dressed and leave for work, and then whatever time I give myself when I come home for the evening, which is maybe two hours at most. And no more because I shouldn't stay up beyond 2 am.

I don't know how much more I need to earn at my job to feel whole. Or to feel well. Maybe double what I make now. But how fucking likely will that happen for someone without a college degree in this economy.

But I fucking hate thinking like this. I hate being concern with money. I hate getting pay over $2000 and it is still not enough. I hate that my friends are in poverty and will probably just never get out of it. I hate there is no end in sight for this cycle. I hate the fucking system that we live in. And hate how there are many people that will defend Capitalism. Or believe, "You just have to vote for the right people to be our benevolent dictator. And they will improve the system. #VoteBlueNoMatterWho." I hate feeling powerless to end of this misery. And I have other friends and family members that are suffering too..... I just feel..... bleph.... meh .... urg.....

[wtfsheikura]

Chapter 2

I BLINK RAPIDLY, MAKING SURE that Y/n isn't a mirage.

My meeting with the Gojo Holdings board of directors just wrapped up, and I stopped by the hotel bar for a drink before meeting up with some friends to party. I don't get to come to Vegas often, so I take full advantage of its nightlife when I do. The last thing I expected was to see Y/n Geto being accosted at the bar by some creep.

I'm distracted when my phone buzzes with a text, coincidentally, from her twin brother.

Suguru: Don't play too hard while you're in Vegas.

Satoru: I can't make any promises.

Evidently, he didn't deem it relevant to tell me Y/n was going to be in Vegas the same week as me.

Suguru and I have remained close since high school, staying connected through calls and texts when he moved to London ten years ago after graduating from culinary school. However, I haven't seen Y/n since the summer after high school. We fell out of touch when she moved away to college, and our paths never crossed over the years.

I slip my phone into my pocket to avoid any more distractions.

"Hello, N/n." Her childhood nickname passes my lips like it was only yesterday when we were hanging out in the backyard of the old Miller house.

"Gojo." She gives me a curt nod but averts her gaze.

Despite her cold greeting, warmth floods my chest at her use of my nickname. It almost makes up for her mask of indifference and her refusal to make eye contact. The Y/n I grew up with was friendly and affectionate. In contrast, this version is distant and guarded.

"Suguru didn't tell me you'd be in Vegas," I say, sliding into the seat on her left, avoiding the chair her unwanted guest just vacated. The creep may think he got away with how he treated Y/n, but he's mistaken.

Y/n finally meets my gaze, fixing me with a scowl. "Do you and my brother make a habit of discussing my whereabouts?"

"No, not usually," I answer with a hint of amusement.

"He told me you're living in London and heading up the European division of Geto International. That's impressive," I commend her.

My conversations with Suguru usually revolve around sports, business, and our one-night stands. His family is a sensitive subject, and he doesn't talk about his parents, or share much with me about Y/n's personal life.

Y/n tugs her lower lip between her teeth, a habit that hints something is bothering her—at least it did when she was younger.

"He exaggerated the truth," she says with a hint of cynicism. "My dad put my step-brothers in charge of the European division when he shifted his focus to global expansion, and I report directly to them." There's bitterness in her tone, but I'm unsure if it's directed at her dad or step-siblings.

"You're a senior executive at an international real estate firm. That's something to be proud of." I rest my arms on the sticky bar counter.

"It's fine, I guess," Y/n replies curtly. "Sukuna and Nanami give me full autonomy, which I appreciate," she adds in a softer tone.

I'm captivated when she picks up her martini, tilting her head back to finish her drink in one gulp. Her impeccably manicured nails are painted crimson red, matching the lipstick stain she's left on the glass.

"My mom says that if someone tells you they're fine, it means they're anything but," I muse, shifting my focus from her mouth back to her eyes.

"That sounds like something Hanako would say," Y/n replies with a faint smile.

She turns her attention away from me as she tries to flag down the bartender. He's preoccupied with two flirtatious women at the other end of the bar, lining up a row of shots in front of them. While Y/n is momentarily distracted, I take the opportunity to observe her more closely.

She's dressed in a pristine ivory suit with a white lace camisole peeking out from under her jacket, complementing her smooth, pale skin. Her h/c hair is tied up into a flawless high ponytail. Her e/c eyes are dull, like the spark inside her has been diminished, and she has a stern expression etched on her face, begging the question, what happened to make her so jaded?

"Is there a reason you're still here?" Y/n's exasperated tone jolts me back to the present. "Don't you have business to attend to or something?" She waves toward the exit, her voice betraying a trace of uncertainty.

"Are you that eager to get rid of me, N/n?" I lean in closer, inhaling the scent of her perfume—a mix of jasmine, lavender, and vanilla.

God, she smells incredible.

I have the compelling desire to close the distance between us and draw her close. But, considering her indifferent reaction to seeing me, I doubt she would appreciate it.

As I look around, I'm aware that every other man in the hotel lobby is watching her, waiting for their chance to approach her. They're shit out of luck because if I have anything to say about it, she'll be leaving with me. I'm certain Suguru would prefer Y/n go with me than stay alone at the hotel bar surrounded by men she doesn't know.

Looking down to regain my composure, I notice she's traded in her Docs for designer bold red heels.

"Of course not." Her voice drips with sarcasm. "What are you doing in Vegas on a Friday night?"

"Why do you think I'm here?" I challenge her.

She tilts her head to examine me, tapping her lips with a red fingernail, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. "I've heard you're quite the ladies' man and that you travel a lot for work. So I assume you're wrapping up a business trip or here for a weekend of debauchery. From the stories Suguru has shared with me, I'd guess the latter."

I furrow my brow. What the hell has he told her? Sure, I avoid committed relationships like the plague, but that doesn't make me a womanizer.

"Which is it, Gojo?" Y/n taunts me. "And remember, I'm on a first-name basis with your mother, so you should think twice before lying."

I press my lips together to suppress a chuckle. It's nice to see her sassy side shining through the guarded mask she's hiding behind.

"I'm here for both," I admit casually. "Gojo Holdings had an emergency board meeting this afternoon. Tomeo had a conflict in his schedule, so I flew in from London to attend on his behalf."

I leave out the fact that the urgent meeting was to discuss a business deal with her father.

My family owns Gojo Holdings, the largest real estate firm in the country. When my dad retired three years ago, my oldest brother Tomeo stepped in as CEO of Gojo Holdings. He made my other brother Akira Chief Financial Officer, and I was shocked when he named me Chief Operating Officer.

Nine months ago I volunteered to head up the new Gojo Holdings office in London, which means I've spent the majority of my time there. Despite Suguru's hectic travel schedule, we meet up at a bar or club a handful of times a month now that we live in the same city. Coincidentally, I haven't crossed paths with Y/n since I've been there.

"If you're here for business, how does pleasure factor into that equation?" Y/n asks with a raised brow.

I swivel my chair to face her. "I'm an opportunist. I never pass up the chance to sprinkle in a little pleasure." I wink.

Y/n shakes her head with disappointment. "What happened to you, Gojo? I don't recognize this version of you."

She's right. It's apparent that we've both undergone significant changes since high school.

Before my accident I was a confident person. After, I remained unfazed on the outside, putting on a front for my family and friends. In truth, it was a crushing blow every time I was with someone who couldn't see past my physical flaws. First with Suki, followed by a string of unsuccessful first dates during the summer after graduation. Even now it's a hit to my self-esteem whenever a person treats me differently when they get a close look at my face.

I learned early on that I'm not the kind of guy a woman takes home to meet her parents.

From experience, I've learned that most women can't resist elusive men. They abandon their instincts and repulsion when drawn to a charming playboy who has no interest in commitment. My scar works in my favor. It garners sympathy and allows me to portray the detached flirt who will give a woman a night she'll never forget, with no unwanted strings attached.

"I could ask the same thing about you," I fire back. "The Y/n I knew would never be so quick to judge and would have greeted me like an old friend, not like a stranger."

"At least I'm not a Casanova, bragging about my conquests like they're trophies," she retorts sharply, like I've struck a nerve.

Damn, that was harsh, but true.

I'm used to snide remarks about my playboy lifestyle, but it bothers me that Y/n thinks of me that way.

I pick at her abandoned cork coaster, my hands itching for something to do.

"Sorry to disappoint you, N/n, but what you see is what you get. The same can't be said for yourself," I say bluntly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she snaps, her eyes blazing with defiance.

I lean in toward her so only she can hear me. "Where's the optimistic, cheerful girl who viewed the world through rose-tinted glasses I grew up with?"

Ironically, we're both concealing our true selves, just in different ways.

Y/n narrows her gaze at me. "Stop pretending like you know me." I don't miss the hint of sadness in her voice.

I drum my fingers against the bar top, considering my next move.

"You're right, N/n. We're practically strangers," I admit. "But I want to change that if you'll let me."

"What do you mean?" Her voice betrays her curiosity.

"Spend the night with me," I state boldly.

I know Gojo doesn't have any siblings but this is for the plot

[jungle-angel]

All That Meat And No Potatoes: Part 2 (Calvin Evans x Reader)

Summary: The chaos of Thanksgiving has finally arrived but luckily your extended family has come to help

Warnings: Parenthood, holiday chaos, Calvin being his nerdy self

Tagging: @floydsmuse @ateliefloresdaprimavera

You and Calvin had been awake since six in the morning, the turkey having already gone into the oven with all the fixings and the sides being the only thing left to cook. Outside it had begun to snow heavily while the kitchen and the entire house had warmed up nicely while Louis Armstrong played on the tiny kitchen radio on the counter.

"Alright lets see here," Calvin mumbled, tasting the pumpkin pie filling.

"How'd it come out?" you asked him.

"Needs a dash of Myristica," he said.

"English please Dr. Evans," you laughed.

"Nutmeg dear," he chuckled. "It needs nutmeg. Maybe a pinch of Syzygium aromaticum."

You gave him the sideways look.

"Cloves," he answered, trying not to laugh. "A pinch of cloves."

"Do you always do this when people cook?" you asked him, sprinkling in a bit of nutmeg and crushing up the cloves.

"I used to do it to my mother and grandmother every year," Calvin chuckled as he chopped up the celery for the extra stuffing. "Gram chased me out of the kitchen my freshman year of college with a dishtowel."

You laughed a little bit as you added and stirred in the cloves for the filling. Calvin gave it another taste which quickly earned his seal of approval.

No sooner had you put the pie straight into the oven, that Ellen came waddling into the kitchen on her chubby little legs, gripping Six-Thirty's dog collar. Calvin finished off the stuffing and scooped her right up, kissing her cheek and brushing a fiery red curl off her forehead, the others sticking up at odd angles, a sign that she had just woken up.

Calvin stuck her in her hi-chair with a fresh made bowl of apple-cinnamon oatmeal on her little tray, when the doorbell rang. Sure enough, there was Sandy and Joel Levenstein with two freshly made side-dishes.

"Jeez that's the last time we run to the grocery store the night before a holiday," Joel remarked, setting the tinfoil covered dishes on the counter. "I swear you can't get fresh almonds anywhere."

"Nowhere?" Calvin asked.

"Nope," Sandy answered. "But the good news is we swapped with Mei's grandma and she gave us a whole two pounds of'em shaved."

"Good thing we still have neighborhood food swaps," you chuckled. "Speaking of which, where's the in-laws?"

"They'll be by later," Sandy answered.

"Ma wanted to go and see if the St. Mary's shelter needed food for dinner," Joel added. "They got a whole box of Thanksgiving fixings for the people down there."

You all chattered away when the doorbell rang again and in came Henny and Paul King with their grandkids. Ellen giggled when Henny littered her little face with kisses.

"I swear this one gets cuter every day," Henny remarked. "And she's gonna be usin it to her advantage."

"Don't remind me Henny," Calvin chuckled.

Henny laughed and before long, she and Sandy had jumped in to help you and Calvin while Joel and Paul set to gathering whatever was needed. Ellen was handed off to Joel for a few minutes making it easier for you and Calvin to attend to the kitchen chaos.

Six-Thirty and Rosie barked when they heard Frank and Helen McDowell coming in through the door and a blast of cold air following in their wake.

"Hell's bells it's freezin out there," the salty priest remarked as he hung up his scarf and coat.

You beckoned them both into the kitchen before Father Frank helped himself to a mug full of coffee. Mei and Lee Shang came traipsing through the door with Mei's grandmother some time later and the last ones to arrive were Calvin's parents, siblings and their families.

The house was crowded, but you and Calvin couldn't have been more grateful for it. When you all sat down together as a huge family later that night, not a single person could deny, that you, Calvin and the others, were what you were most grateful for.

[cloggedarteri]

♡midnight thoughts i wanna share with you good people

♡i love putting the characters i love in shitty situations so hear me out okay but like what if ignis is pursuing higher education (b/c he's a go-getter and he wanna add as many qualifications he can to his resume) and the boys and regis are completely supportive of his decision and try to encourage him to prioritize his studies and fully immerse himself in college life so he does. ignis gets the full experience. he gets the late night studying and the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and the over-caffeinated anxiety and the shitty dorms with even shitter roommates (emphasis on the shitty roommate). ignis' roommate isnt shitty in the sense that they leave a plate unattended for too long or are inconsiderate of their shared space no. this particualar roommate is shitty because they're a lil pervert that likes to watch ignis whenever hes in the same room, likes to raid through his dirty laundry when ignis is gone, likes to sift through his dressers to find belongings they could 'bond' over in conversation and every time ignis turns his attention to them they're able to avoid suspicion but in his gut ignis knows that something is wrong. so ignis starts to distance himself, he starts to spend more time off campus and commute to school even if the travel is inconvenient but there are times when he needs to be on campus and thats when the roommate gets their long-awaited fix of iggy musk (ew). a few days before a school break the boys come down to campus to help take ignis' things before they steal him away for a trip so before he finishes up his reports in the library ignis hands his room key to gladio (he loves noct and prom but they cant be trusted w/ key) and upon opening the door to the dorm they see the roommate rummaging through ignis' luggage and when they notice that they have company they try to use the excuse of trying to find something he'd misplaced. the boys are on edge but prompto tries to smooth it over by asking if he'd found what he was looking for and the only answer he gets is this sly smile that grows on their face along with a nod in confirmation. gladio goes to take some of the bags back to the car but wordlessly orders the boys to still in the room with the roommate and as they try to engage in conversation with them they can't ignore the weird feeling they get, not only have they found the roommate in a compromising position but they spoke rather possessively of ignis. like 'i hope you're not keeping him for too long' and 'i wouldn't know what id do without him' ya know little comments that when said in normal context wouldn't be too concerning but when you find someone digging in your friends luggage you can't help but worry about their intentions. when gladio comes back for the last bag ignis accompanies him chattering and laughing at whatever nonsense gladio's talking about (my boy missed his found family so much omg), ready to start their trip but he stops in his tracks when he sees the roommate in the room and hes surprised because he could have sworn they'd been expelled. ignis asks 'why did you come back?' and the roommate says "to see you" and they just stare. okay, im done torturing ignis now.  by the end of their trip the boys find out the roommates had been arrested for stalking, harassment, and a slew of other violations. 

[reasonandempathy]

What to do with 10 trillion dollars

I spent way too much time actually answering a reddit question of "How would you spend 10 trillion dollars if you needed to in 20 years. You will die after 20 years." So, I figured I'd share it here.

With only $10 trillion dollars you can't stabilize greenhouse gases or get rid of fossil fuels, which are 13t and 44t respectively. I'm using a variety of sources, so don't expect citations.

I did slightly overpay for things, strategically, partially because I can only imagine doing the things I would do would make it more expensive than it would otherwise be. You'll see.

I'm presuming I don't get assassinated.

What you can do (I did the math) figures are in Billions:

Personal (2.44/10000):

1.44 on remaking 8 games as mid-line AAA games (I chose Legend of Dragoon, FF8, Witcher 1, and the Legacy of Kain series).

.214 on 50 years of housing and buying yourself a $130,000,000 home in NYC. Includes taxes, maintenance, and furniture.

.15 on household staff for 50 years, with at double the normal pay

.000327 to put 3 kids through the best pre-k and best college in the country

.664 setting up each of those 3 kids with their own equivalent home and staff setup

Public Service (4303/10000):

Big one out of the way. 2500bn in lobbying/buying up American politicians to enact structural reforms I want to see. You would think this would be way too much, since the presidential election in 2020 only had 14.4 in it. This amounts to averaging 250 in spending every election cycle, even off-year. I counter with the global commercial banking market having a market cap of 2800 in 2023. The defense industry is almost 480. Health insurance in the US is 1600. This is an expensive, long-drawn fight. This is likely the single most important thing on the list. Anti-corruption measures, labor rights, pro-democracy reforms, including ultimately making it illegal for other people to buy more elections.

a cumulative total of 1803 spent on:

curing the most common cause of blindness worldwide

eradicating polio, rabies, elephantitis, malaria, world hunger, COVID19 issues, Water + Sanitation access, extreme poverty, homelessness in USA, Canada, and UK (I looked for China, Indonesia, Nigeria, Egypt, and Pakistan but couldn't find real numbers),

protecting the Amazon rainforest

Corporate Fixing (5692/10000):

Buying up and changing (converting to Co-Ops, converting to non-profits, dissolving, or something in line with those:

Meta

Amazon

Disney

JP Morgan Chase

Lockheed Martin

Delta

Alphabet

Asda

Tesco

Nike

The Weinstein Company

United Airlines

Shein

EA

BP

Bayer (side-note: they own/are Monsanto now)

De Beers

Vonovia Real Estate Developers

DLE

Ubisoft

Ikea

Shueisha

and Viz Media

It leaves me with 1.4bn left over. I'm comfortable with saying an additional billion would likely be used up administratively as things get a bit more expensive than I thought they would.

Honestly, I could likely blow it on close friends and family who need it. If you have an issue with the house spending being for 50 years instead of 30, that can just be shuffled around a bit to include more people in my personal life to meet the same number.

Leaving me with 470 million to spend elsewhere in the next 20 years. Expensive vacations, nice cars, donating to "smaller" issues as I see worthwhile, giving family and friends money for their ventures/dreams, etc. make me think it wouldn't actually be hard to lose track of that much money in those many years.

Hell, if I want to I can probably spend a million bucks on food a year just for my family. Probably more, if I actively try to do so.

[capricornwriter5]

OUR SEESAW - Chapter 16

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female OC

Genre: idol au, Suga X female OC, smut, fluff, angst, college romance, friends to lovers, exes to lovers, happy ending. ⚠️Warning: mentions of mental health affections, drugs, explicit sex

Words: 3k

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Chapter 16 - Bulletproof

The first part of her narration had to do with her family life, Emmy did not leave any detail out. At times she had to stop to take a breath and be able to continue, and that's how Yoongi found out what Emmy was carrying inside of her. He listened in silence to the story of how Emm's family had seen his mother-in-law suddenly fade away, how a depression that was never well treated ended up consuming her. And even more painful than that was hearing what came next.

It took Emmy a long time, but she opened up as she had never done with anyone, not even the many psychologists she had seen. The girl completely bared her past and her soul that morning and it was impossible to hold her tears, luckily, Yoongi's hand grabbing hers motivated her to continue, and when she felt that she couldn't take it anymore, the musician let her rest her head on his shoulder for as long as she needed to continue. Thus, Yoongi learned what her childhood and adolescence were like, both plunged into both terrible loneliness and psychological abuse by Seri. He already understood the terrible trauma that Emmy felt towards her sister and her father, the guilt that had accompanied her for as long as she could remember. He heard how Seri tried her best to push any company of Emmy, the only ones that were constant were Woosung, Hobi, and Mr. Siu.

Her father was always an absent figure, he tried to reach out to her a few times, but nothing worked. Her mother, for her part, had tried even more than her father. Emmy had very clear memories of when she was a child and her mother came to visit her in her room. She now understood that this happened when the antidepressants allowed it; yet, postpartum depression would trigger again every time she was with her youngest daughter, so in the long run, the doctor forbade her to keep trying. That is why the girl had taken such strong blows since she was a child, she used to get excited thinking that finally her relationship with her parents would change, but that never happened.

“My adolescence coincided with the time when mum was worse, her pills ended up cutting her off from our family. In those years everything got out of control, and even though Hobi and Woo were with me, it wasn't enough. I… I found another way to deal with everything, something that was temporary, but that cost me dearly. Yoongs, I thought I could control it, but I can't." She said with her gaze fixed on the ground and when the musician tried to take her hand, Emmy moved it while she shook her head negatively, there was no human force that convinced her to look Yoongi in the eyes. “Baby, I can't do this alone, I can't fight this alone, not anymore. I've tried to do it because I want to be okay and be able to enjoy what I have with you. I mean... this has been the best thing that has happened to me, but I can't. I can't stop doing drugs. I thought about leaving. Today, when I woke up, I thought that the best thing was to get away from you and not put you through this, I was convinced to do it because I'm afraid. I'm so scared, Yoongi. And I'm not even afraid just of drugs, I'm afraid of loving you this way, I couldn't bear to lose you like I've lost many people before… not you. I may ignore many things about relationships, but I think I love you, Yoongs. It hurts so bad to think about losing you that I swear there have been times when I can't take it, but I can't fool you anymore. This is what I am.” Finally, the girl was able to look at Yoongi's dark and teary eyes. “I love you, Yoongs, I KNOW I love you. If this is the only time I can tell you this, you have to know how good my heart feels when I have you around. I've adored you every moment since I heard you play for the first time, I've loved with all my soul what we have. Thank you for appearing in my life and changing it in this way. Thank you for looking at me like I always dreamed of being looked at. I wanted to be the person you deserve by your side, but…”

"Emm" he called with a deep and faltering voice. "Stop, please." It was his time to talk.

Yoongi didn't rush things; instead, when he asked Emmy to stop, the musician bit his lower lip and took a deep breath. It was not easy at all, it was not a casual topic and of course, it was devastating to hear every word from Emmy, but fortunately, Yoongi's nature let him express himself properly.

"You are already the person I deserve and want by my side." He said with total and utter certainty, never taking his gaze from hers for a second. “Emm, I'd repeat a thousand times more the day I saw you for the first time. I was limited to living in a monotonous way, and then... I saw you, you smiled and I had no choice but to madly fall in love with you. I changed your life? Baby, you made me know that there are parts of me that only exist when I'm with you, and those parts have made me understand that not everything is wrong with me. Before you… Emmy, before you I was tormented by all kinds of monsters every night, and the only way to keep going was through music. But without even intending to do it, you silenced each one of my demons. Please don't go, freckles. Walking away from the only person I want to try everything with would kill me. Every time I look at you I think the same thing 'Please, let this be forever'. I love you, Emm, you're the first person I tell it to, and the only one I'll tell it to."

Yoongi said that last thing, wiping away the tears that fell down his cheeks, but also showing her a tender and honest smile. "I know it's a lot to ask you to believe me and just ignore all your fears, but I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart, sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere. I still remember when you held my hand for the first time, I never imagined that it could feel so good, in the same way, I couldn't bear the pain of knowing that you'd never do it again. I beg you, try to trust in us. I know that you love what we have, and that you'd be capable of anything to protect our relationship, but it's not just you who think so, Emm. I'd also give anything to be by your side, to see you happy. Were you really worried about how I'd see you after you told me all this? My love, don't you see how strong and brave you are? Even with your heart broken by everything you've been through, you've loved me selflessly from the beginning. Even with your face full of tears, you're the strongest person I know. What happened with your mom was NOT your fault, you deserve all the love in the world and I'm sure your mom knew that, that's why she kept trying to get close to you despite how she felt. How your father and sister acted and felt has absolutely nothing to do with you. Now... regarding the other issue... baby, you can try to sedate the pain you feel, but that doesn't work, that doesn't stop the bleeding. I understand you, I know how tiring it is to feel low and to feel that you're not capable of dreaming of a better future. But you can, freckles, and you're not alone anymore, you won't be alone anymore."

“Yoongi, do you actually want to continue in a relationship where your girlfriend…?”

“Where my girlfriend is a wonderful person? Of course I want to."

“Yoongs… you know what I want to tell you.”

“Baby, all wounds can be healed when treated properly. It's okay to cry, to feel sad about everything you've been through, but you also need to understand that you're strong enough to get out of it. It won't be easy, it'll be a long and steep road, but you're not going to walk it alone. And if you feel that your world is falling apart, come to mine, I'll always be there for you."

"Aren't you scared?"

"No" He answered completely sure. “I'm worried about you because I want to see you well and happy, but this doesn't scare me. I know we're going to get through it." He assured her with a tender smile. “We'll seek all the help you need and I'll be by your side at all times.”

“I love you, Yoongs.”

“I love you too, Freckles.” He said taking his girlfriend in his arms and hugging her as strong as she needed. "This doesn't define you, baby."

Emmy told him about the Bivouac and how this club was the favorite place of the upper class, not only because of the easy access to drugs but because of the freedom they had in that place to do what they pleased. The girl told him that even those serious politicians who seemed to have perfect families occasionally went there to have their affairs. However, what happened in the Bivouac stayed there and was never talked about. Now Yoongi fully understood why Hobi hated that his friends went there. It wasn't that he was bothered by what Woosung and Emmy were doing with their romantic life, but rather that he seriously cared about everything they had access to. Despite everything Emmy told her boyfriend, she never got a surprised or judgmental look from him. Yoongi's stoic nature allowed Emm to feel completely comfortable with him.

Emmy was very serious about wanting to quit her addiction, but Yoongi was also serious when he told her that he would support her, and that same day he did something that was not common for him, he asked for the day off from all his jobs.

“Yongs, are you sure? You may have problems.”

"Don't worry. We have some things to do and I promised you that I'd be with you.” He responded with a kind smile.

That morning they both found out which doctors were the best to help Emmy. Thanks to the name and influence of the girl, it was not difficult for them to book an appointment for that same day. Talking about her addiction again was not so difficult for Emmy, Yoongi's company during that first appointment was crucial to achieving it. The serenity of the musician and the security that he conveyed to his girlfriend made her feel that she was only going through a difficult time, but that she could overcome it. In addition, it helped a lot that the doctor was a very kind woman with whom Emmy felt comfortable from the beginning.

“The first thing will be detoxification. I try to get the person through the detox on an outpatient basis; that is, that you experience the symptoms at home, in your comfort zone, with timely medical assistance when necessary. But if your circumstances prevent it, you must enter a detoxification unit or center so that withdrawal symptoms don't induce you to relapse. I know you have the financial means to go through this at home; however, I'm concerned that you live alone. You could hire a nurse to accompany you, or you can stay at the hospital. Normally, the process varies between two weeks or a month.”

With a sad sigh, Emmy nodded. She knew she had no choice, but she was terrified of going through it alone in a place she didn't even know. However, her boyfriend was the one who spoke first.

"Freckles, don't even think about it, I'll stay with you."

"Yoongi, that would be great, but we're talking about Emmy constantly needing someone by her side, we don't know how her body and even her mood will react during those days."

"Yoongs, you can't miss your jobs."

“Yes I can do it, and I'll do it.”

"But…"

“Emmy, I'm NOT leaving you alone.”

"I propose this," the doctor commented, "I must go to attend to some administrative matters, discuss this and when I return, tell me your decision."

The couple agreed and as soon as they were alone, Yoongi took Emmy's hands in his and spoke. "Baby, if it is okay with you, I can move in with you those days, at least while the detoxification process lasts."

“Yoongs, would you do that?”

"Of course." He affirmed with a sweet smile.

Although Emmy found it incredible and extremely adorable that Yoongi was willing to go through something like that, she couldn't help but feel something else. However, this time she was not silent and was honest with her boyfriend.

"Yoongs, I'm a little embarrassed that you see me like this... besides, I don't want to put you through something so complicated."

Yoongi couldn't help but laugh in that tender way in which his eyes closed completely. Afterward, he got up from his chair and knelt in front of the girl.

“Freckles, I don't think you can drive me crazier than you already do. Also… I think it's a little late for you to start feeling embarrassed with me, you should have felt like that when you mistook a tomato for a chili on our second date.” Yoongi's comment earned a beautiful smile on the girl's face. “So, if we're past that boring part of the relationship where you're ashamed of silly things, we can be ourselves. Besides… you jumped out of a window to seduce me… I think I've seen enough of your true colors.”

"Oh shut up, I wasn't seducing you!" She tried to defend herself between laughs. Before she could even lose her smile, Yoongi continued speaking.

"You're going to put me through something terribly complicated and painful if you walk away from me, Emmy. Let me come with you, I promise I'll be a good roommate. Think of it like this, I could cook for you and once in a while I might even leave the bathroom door open when I'm taking a shower.”

Oddly enough, Yoongi managed to convince his girlfriend of something between laughs. Normally it was the opposite, Emmy was the one who managed to get everything out of Yoongi between laughs, but now that she was the one who needed it, the musician had taken over splendidly.

“According to the doctor, we can't start today because you must come well prepared. What do you think if today we take care of leaving everything ready? You have to talk to your professors and I need to ask for vacations. Besides... Hobi and Woosung are going to worry if you disappear without telling them something."

“I had already thought about it; after all, they are like my family. Also Mr. Siu. I don't quite know what to tell them."

"Tell them what you feel you can share, they'll understand if you still can't fully open up."

Emmy accepted her boyfriend's suggestion and once the doctor returned and they defined the most important details of the process, Yoongi went to talk to his bosses while Emmy met with Hobi and Woosung. They had both been home when her friend told them it was something urgent. They agreed to meet at Hobi's apartment, since it was the closest to the university and Emmy still had to talk to her professors.

"Guys, I asked you to meet because there's something important that I want to tell you." Emmy's downcast gaze and her concerned expression made Woosung and Hobi anxious and wish she would tell them soon what was going on. "I won't be here for a few days, I still don't know if it'll be just two weeks or the whole month."

"Where are you going?" Hobi asked.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not having a good time guys, I need medical help and…”

"Are you sick? What do you have?" The dancer asked extremely shocked.

For his part, Woosung did not need details to understand what it was about; after all, he had told her that she should tone down the intensity of her consumption.

"Are you going to be alone?" It was the only thing the singer asked.

"No. Yoongi offered to be at my side as necessary."

That shocked Woosung, he did not imagine that someone would voluntarily want to accompany someone during a process as complicated as rehabilitating. Besides, Emmy had told him about Yoongi's economic situation, so being away from his work for so long seemed absurd.

"What's going on? Can someone explain it to me? What do you have, Emm? How can we help you?" Hobi asked on the verge of a crisis.

"I need to stop using, Hobi."

Before Hoseok could ask anything else due to the enormous concern he felt for his friend, Woosung placed his hand on the dancer's shoulder, indicating that this was not the time to go into details.

“You know you're counting on us too, right? Both Hobi and I are here for you."

“I know, guys. I just hope this works. I don't want to go on like this, but I'm afraid."

Seeing Emmy's teary eyes, Hobi and Woosung tried to give her encouragement and reassure her that everything would be alright and that they were sure she would come out of it.

Meanwhile, the musician talked with Jin. He clearly couldn't explain everything, but he did make him aware that it was a serious situation and that he had made the decision to move in with Emmy for a while. Yoongi tried to assure his friend that that didn't exempt him from paying his part of the rent, but Jin became enraged and practically demanded that he accept his help for the first time and not worry about the rent for as long as necessary.

➳ Next Chapter

[bnnuy-wabbit]

The cockroach incident? 👀

ok. picture me, your average flightless, featherless, biped animal. This happened roughly 2 months after i decided i wanted to drop out of college, but 2 months before classes were over, so i really was just Not Having It. I hated most of what i was studying and saw no point in continuing. I was 5 states away from my family, living in a shared apartment with a deadbeat roommate who was in the same house as me like once a week. It was the middle of the hottest summer i have ever experienced in my entire life. My apartment complex was this old moldy hole, full of spiders the size of a closed hand, bats in the attic (i had never even SEEN an attic but here we were and mine had BATS in there). and a brand new cockroach infestation. I was slowly going insane very quickly.

On top of all that I had a very stressful practical anatomy test to study for. It was hard ok? over 300 names to memorize across several different animal species. I was studying solely through videos because the teacher didn't let us actually study with the anatomical pieces. So there i was. 1am on a sunday. Sitting at the kitchen table, a white, plastic lawn table, broken. if you put too much weight on it it just came undone. Sweat is dribbling down my asscrack. I am studying to the sound of friday night funkin songs because it's the only thing that could keep my adhd ass awake while i binge studied.

Out of the corner of my eye i catch some movement and i see a Giant Flying Cockroach approaching rapidly. It was the size of my pinky EASILY. It lands on the wall opposite to my room's door. It stays there, its little antennae moving and flickering DISGUSTINGLY. I stare at it. I can't move. At that moment i am 300% sure if i move itll move and i really dont want that. I stare at it. unmoving. for half an hour. it doesnt move. but of course, im intelligent enough to know that sooner or later one of us WILL have to move, and the other one will die. So i figured, well, better for it to be me! So i get up. slowly. carefully. i walk towards the kitchen to get the broom. really fucking slowly. still staring at it constantly (it didnt move). i get closer to it again, broom in hands, shaking like a leaf. utterly terrified of the horrid animal in my house.

it begins to move.

i stop moving.

it stops moving.

every single time i moved it moved. i couldnt get my broom any closer to it without it Walking Around. It wasnt even running away or scuttling. it was just walking little steps, like it was mocking me. mocking me and my existence. mocking my every daily toiling.

i went god im SO FUCKING FUCKED! This is it! This is how i die! Death by trashbug!

so i stop moving. i dont move. i stop breathing. i become stone. my white ass camouflages within my landlord white surroundings. once again i go back to staring at it and its horribly long antennae. I just stare at it, trying to find the courage within me to stab the fucker. But one thing you need to know about me: i am a scared little animal who just happens to be very big. my soul is very small. it is puny even. i am proudly a coward. but being a coward doesnt fix the fact that there is a very scary bug threatening my livelyhood and my hopes and dreams and that im ALONE and have to deal with this myself.

and so i whack it. i whack the beast. i stab it. i shove the broom up like REALLY HARD against the ceiling. i am confident i smashed it because i very vigorously whammed a broom on the wall. it was very loud!!!! still, i keep it there for a moment, trying to gather the courage to let it go now because thats another entire beast. thats another task within itself. but like. im confident i killed it at this point. im confident my efforts paid off in the end and that courage wins every fight etc.

so i let it go!

and what does it do? It FLIES OFF! And i yell. i begin yelling. my throat gets hoarse.

the thing didnt even get a scratch! On top of that, it just flew STRAIGHT INTO MY ROOM.

At this point im this 🤏 close to a mental breakdown.

so my first idea, of course, is FUCK I SHOULD CALL MY MOM. She picks up despite the fact that it is now almost 3am. that does very little to comfort me because 1. shes 5 entire states away. thats half a country. 2. shes also terrified of cockroaches.

so yeah. dead end.

i tell my mom "im going to ask my elderly neighbor for bug spray" and she says "its past 3am dont wake up your elderly neighbor for bug spray".

so what do i do? i desperately bang on my elderly neighbors door for 10 minutes. Her 2 dogs bark a lot. Never once does she open the door, but i could very much hear her flipflops squeak on the floor, so she was just Standing There. I beg for her help, i ask for bug spray, im full on crying at this point and my voice is hoarse from the yelling from before. She begins praying like im some sort of apparition i guess. I can hear her praying to god or some shit and then leaves me to be. she doesnt ever reply to me directly. So i sit against her door like a very normal person, curl up on fetal position and lose my shit right there. i am shaking. i am crying. theres snot running down my face. im bawling.

eventually i drag myself back home. stand at my bedrooms door and i look at the fucking mess my room is. depressed grad student, ok? keep that in mind. theres dirty clothes all over the floor. actually. let me Show.

as you can see there are Many places for a cockroach to hide. so i decide to remove everything from my room. item by item. until i either find its hiding spot or die trying.

i find the cockroach. or rather, it finds Me.

It sneakily crawls up my leg just as i was about to move my clothing pile.

I scream. It fucks off.

I remove every last fucking thing from my room.

i flip the bed upside down, under it i find a lone galoshe. I figure that's where it was hiding. im too scared to touch it seeing as the thing has already flied several times and tried to CLIMB ME. I'm tired and Already out of my mind. I have no more fucks to give. Scared (still, as always) i sack the boot and throw it off my apartment. like, i just yeet the thing out. lock the door. Look at the clock. its like 3.30. i spent over half an hour hastily empting out my bedroom.

Honestly at that point i wasnt even sure the cockroach was in the boot. i felt i couldnt be sure it was dead until i found the body. it was late, so i called a friend to call down and broke into my roommate's room because my room no longer had furniture in it. I slept in his crusty ass sheets, the very ones he was fucking his very annoying girlfriend on top of a week earlier (he only had 2 sets and he hadnt washed anything bigger than socks in like a month. the apartment was small. his laundry was my business and i was Very Aware of its existence in the middle of the living room). so yeah. they were cummy. they were crusty. it was cracker solid. i could Not care less though.

i slept shittily until 7am. i ran to the store first thing in the morning to get the strongest bug spray i could find and also bug repellent.

I sprayed the entire house. I mean this. The walls were slick with bug spray. You could NOT breathe inside my room. Not even the kitchen was spared. I walked out of it smelling like mothballs and cancer and walked straight to the university so i could study to my effing anatomy test (it was monday, the test was on tuesday), eat and watch my classes.

I did just that. The entire day was unremarkable.

Oh actually. the elderly neighbor complained in the complex whatsapp group about a certain incensitive and unruly neighbor disrupting the peace late in the night. LM fucking AO.

I got home late, but still decided to clean my room from the chemicals. my roommate was home for once, so i told him what was going on, that id be cleaning the house because of the bug spray. I deep cleaned the whole house. I took special care of my room tho. At the end there was nary a speck of dust on my furniture (1 wardrobe, 1 bed, 1 beach chair). my clothes were folded. it smelled CLEAN IN THERE for the first time in weeks. i lit up the bug repelent. it was one of these babes.

I was SURE it was dead. the room had soaked all day in bug spray. i caught every single crevice in that room. i even sprayed INSIDE my box bed. it had to be dead. there was no way it wasnt dead. right???? right???????

i sat on my bed. i changed the sheets so it felt really good. i grabbed my computer and went back to studying. i was just vibing, man. i was just vibing.

The cockroach appeared from nowhere, climbed the wall, got sucked by the fan, flied, whacked me in the face.

I yelled, grabbed the my newly acquired spray can and then yelled some more. Then i remembered my roommate was home. I banged on his door until he opened it. shoved the thing on his face and dragged him into my room (me. tall guy. btw. dense. him, taller guy, confused, thin as a rail. just funny. to keep in mind). he went holy shit, thats big.

he sprayed it and everybodys biggest fear at that moment became true. again. it started flying. again. it went all over the room. he sprayed all over the room. it landed on my pillow, he drenched my freshly washed pillowcase in bug spray. it landed on the window, he sprayed the window until it was no longer see through. it scurried across the floor, he sprayed the floor. it went under my bed. then he stopped. i lifted my bed. he got it with his flipflop.

the evil was finally defeated.

but so was i... my clean sheets man......

[1stunseeliefaelass]

This is my first time trying a reader meets story for Darksiders. Whether you ship or not is up to you guys. I also tried to make the gender as ambiguous as possible so all could enjoy it. Hope I succeeded and that you all indeed enjoy. Also you can tots draw this out if you want, this whole fandom has my permission for sure. I love you guys. Anyway I'll quit rambling and just get to the story already...

Darksiders Short Story: Y/N Meets Death

Good job Y/N, you just had to get knocked out. Just had to fall down a pit. Just had to get lost and separated. Mom's gonna kill me if the Demons don't.   

       You cursed your misfortune for a short while as you began holding up in your makeshift bunker. Praying it would hold together for a little bit longer, listening to the radio and walkie you have. Rare things long ago, but you're Dad fixed em up for you all the same in case of emergencies.

He always said Great Grandpa preached that tv news wouldn't last if the world went to shit. So radios were better.

       You stayed planted for the next few weeks, with someone's stocked mini fridge in the closet. Held up in a busted up college dorm after having been separated during a demon attack on your family. Whether they made it or not, you didn't know. Thoughts about them often made it hard to sleep. No matter how much reassurance you tried giving yourself. Or how much you told yourself with certainty that they'd make it.

There's no way, Dad's been radio silent for weeks. No I shouldn't think like that. Maybe they're just busy right now. Trying to hide whilst looking for me. So they can't talk to me right now. Right?

        You often tried telling yourself this. Surely Mom and Dad would make it through this, and find you. Hell your Brother is a complete badass, at least he always seemed that way when you were little. So if anybody could make sure he and anyone else makes it out, it's him, right? You keep the last picture of them you have close, one you took before the camera you used broke apart. Hiding it under the pillow you're using, so it doesn't get destroyed during any natural disasters that have come up since the end. Though they were not that common, it wasn't much of a blessing. For within a year, the surrounding land became either desolate or extremely dangerous. It wasn't uncommon to hear screams at night when trying to sleep. And during the day you stayed hidden like you'd practically been trained to do since walking, only leaving when food was running low. Using the campus radio station to know which places were safest to traverse and which weren't. It was also soothing to hear the voices of others. Knowing at least some other people were ok out there. Other times you heard military jargin on it, as rescues were attempted. Not many were successful sadly. Instead you chose to stay put each time, as much as you wanted to finally escape the nightmare. But deep down, you knew that wasn't much of an option. You wouldn't find your family that way.

They can save as many of us as they want. But by now, everywhere else is just as fucked as here. Better to stay put unless absolutely necessary. Better to be held up and only leaving when needed, than to be caught and killed...or worse. I don't want Mom and Dad finding my dead body either.

       Eventually though, the dorm building you were in, was beginning to go. So now you were planning on leaving for good this time. You just needed a few extra supplies. First was a new backpack, as yours was slowly falling apart and could only carry so much. Secondly, something to carry your items that wouldn't fit in the pack. As long as it wasn't too noisy, you'd be happy. So you reluctantly emptied out your mini fridge into the dumpsters outside. Anything that wasn't perishable you stuffed into your crappy backpack as best you could before setting off. Finally you carefully made your way to the nearest store. It felt eerie as hell traversing such an empty and ransacked place. Never have you seen a store before, as your parents preached that you avoid going in them alone. But this time you had no choice, you needed supplies. Even if you were unlikely to find much left anymore. Eventually you do find a outdoor backpack, alongside some clothes that somehow weren't torn up. You didn't care about whether or not they fit though, only that they could provide some layers when needed. Luckily you also find a sturdy wagon before too long, and grab a cooler as well. But you won't be keeping anything cool in here. The water was mostly all gone, with the occasional smooshed in bottles scattered about. You took all the water you could, stuffing the bottles into your crappy backpack. You saved the outdoor one for canned goods, instant noodles, anything that wouldn't perish quickly. Other food you stuffed in your cooler, alongside your new clothes and new pair of boots a size up from yours. For when you inevitably grew up of the boots you replaced your now too small ones with. Lastly, you take any security tags off at the register yourself once you finally figure that out. Parents always did the same to avoid triggering alarms and making noise, said they learned it from other survivers. You then leave through the back of the store, as that seemed safer to do. It was already noon and your stomach was hungry, but you didn't want to stop. Instead, you just ate a protein bar and went on your way. You only returned to the dorm for three things; the photo, your radio, and a book.

The Last Unicorn....an ironic book to be reading now I guess. But....at least the world in this book wasn't ending.

Finally you leave the slowly crumbling building behind, luckily you only stayed a few floors up from the ground floor, and the elevators worked for once. You begin looking for a new place to shack up in, eventually coming across a large house. With night coming you hurry inside, not caring for what you'll find. Waiting for you, is nothing short of a horror show. You find dried blood pools everywhere, the occasional torn articles of feminine looking clothing, burned up wood with the familiar smell of sulfur, and scattered bones.

Demons must've got em, poor women....or were they girls? No I'd better not think on it too much. Just find a place to sleep and...

Suddenly you hear a noise behind you and find a large figure searching around the place. Fearing the worst, you do all you can to hide. Abandoning the wagon you had, hoping it wouldn't be stolen from or destroyed. You hear nothing for a few seconds until a very deep, and sonorous voice calls out.

"Hello?! Is anyone here?!"

Cautiously you lean your head around the corner you hid behind, spotting the figure softly kicking at your things. You couldn't tell what kind of weapon they had, but it sure as fuck was huge. Slowly you began to back away, until you slip on one of the many bits of clothes. Landing on your ass, and alerting the intruder.

"Who's there?!"

You begin fleeing at this point. Avoiding the stairs going up and running to the basement. Panicking as lumbering steps head after you.

Shit it's after me!

"Wait stop!"

You don't abide, instead hurrying away as before. Hiding behind a boiler as the figure begins searching for you. Two ember like eyes being the only tell you get of their location. Trying your best to maintain and quiet your breathing as you panic. That is until you feel a bony hand on your shoulder, slowly turning around before suddenly jumping away with a scream at the sight of a demon. Only for the weapon the figure had been holding to suddenly slam into the demon. Now you see that it is a scythe, but you don't really care. You go to bolt again before bumping into a firm chest, being caught before you can fall again.

Confused you remain still before pleading quietly, "Please don't kill me."

"I...wasn't planning on it. As for the Demon, it seems to be long dead. So you don't need to worry about that either."

"If you're not gonna kill or eat me...then what do you want?", you ask while trying to put up a tough act.

You see what looks like an eye roll before they answer you, "I assumed your kind had all but perished. An assumption I'm for once glad is wrong. Are you at all harmed?"

"Uhm...no. Fell on my butt earlier but that won't cause any...wait a minute you are a stranger...why am I even talking to you?"

They cock their head at you, "Probably because you've been by yourself for so long that a being that isn't going to kill you seems safe enough to speak to?"

Sarcasm, great. "Look uhm....person I don't know. Before I even say anything else I want a name at least. So out with it buster."

"Feisty ingrate...", he mutters before continuing, "If you really must know, I am Death. Now I should think it's only fair I know your name. Don't you think?"

"Well excuse me for practicing stranger danger. Anyway it's Y/N, happy?"

"Yes. Now if you're going to stay here, you best barricade this place. I assume this wasn't your home initially? Based on the wagon?"

You place you hand on your hip, "I'm only staying one night. Even if it was my home I can't stay here. I got separated from my family, and waiting hasn't brought them back to me. So I'm going looking for them whilst trying to survive."

"You...may not like what you find.", he replies, his tone softening.

You look to the ground, "I...I've got to try. For them. I'm sure they'd do the same for me.", then as look at your photo of them you realize something, "Hey maybe you've seen them? Uh here, they look like this. Just uh...don't mess it up ok? It's all I've got."

Death observes it briefly, and you watch as he seems to recognize one of them before glancing away and telling you, "I...have seen the shorter male's jacket."

"Really?! You found my brother's jacket?! Did you see him though? Where was he?"

He puts his hands up, "Hey hey hey, slow down...or better yet maybe you should sit down instead..."

His softer tone throws you off, and you do as he suggests. Sitting upon a random box with a pit in your stomach forming as you await what he says, "What...did you find?"

"I found his jacket, as I told you before. Laid upon a dirt mound...it looked fairly recent too. Can't say for sure just how recent though. The jacket was...also being held down by a few items. I assume...they were once his."

You feel the pit travel up your body to form a knot in your throat, "T-the mound? Did y-you...s-s-search it too?"

Death shakes his head, "No. I'm not the sort of man to dig up a grave."

"Then...it m-m-may not be his. H-h-he must've just left his jacket there...o-out of respect! To ease the soul or s-something!"

Two big hands grab each of your shoulders, "Did you not hear me Y/N? There were other items holding it in place."

"Then what were they?! You only assume they're his, you didn't say anything else!"

"A walkie talkie like your own, a busted radio, and a pair of equally destroyed binoculars.", He tells you firmly whilst holding back rising anger.

You slip from the box to the floor, landing on your knees, "N-no...it...it can't be...he can't be...he was always...he'd never...no...no...no...no no no NO NO!"

Death sighs heavily before placing a hand on your shoulder, "I'm...sorry.", he says nothing else. Simply listening to you sob in silence, wishing he'd found your brother in a different way. That he'd found him alive, even if injured in some way. At least then he could've been saved. However in a way, this strengthens his resolve to save humanity all the more. So that no one else has to suffer this kind of pain or loss, if nothing else.

[willel]

Ok, the way you’re imagining the interactions between Joyce and her sons would really be interesting, in character and balanced (personally, dealing with it as they’re mere interpersonal issues leaves me a bit unsatisfied but it’s bc I tend to think that psychology is often a product of social situations) but it’s not what you read online most of the time…

That may only be because I am the product of a single parent household. I had the eldest daughter syndrome. I was responsible for getting my brother up at the crack of dawn, feeding him breakfast, getting him ready for school, and walking him to the bus stop, walking him back home, helping him with homework, and feeding him dinner cause my mom was working three jobs to support us.

In high school during the 2008 housing crisis, I was going through all kinds of depression and issues at school because I didn't have a car which meant I couldn't get a job which meant I couldn't help my mom with finances which meant I was a freeloader and we'd all be homeless (note she never said that to me or thought that of me, my own mind created this scenario in my mind)(also note, we did not become homeless. My mom made it work though I was mostly unaware of that and always thought we were on the edge of collapse. Anxiety disorders eh?) You know when I came back home after college and couldn't find a job for 6 months, I became suicidal because I felt like I was freeloading from my own mother. She had to sit down with me multiple times to reassure me that it makes no sense for me to feel that way. (to be honest, that feeling hasn't completely gone away even though I have a full time job)

I 100% get what Jonathan might be feeling. It has nothing to do with hatred towards your single parent, especially when you know that single parent is working their ass off just to support and protect you. Even though they never necessarily asked you to help (except with taking care of your younger sibling), you still WANT to help. You want to help so bad that when you can't help you feel like shit when you can't.

Like yes, Joyce in INVOLVED in those complicated feelings but in my personal opinion as someone who has lived a similar life (with a single parent who doesn't suck which I know is not always the case), it's NOT a blame game. It's NOT hatred. It's complicated, complex, and confusing but at the base of it all, it's love and respect for your single parent.

That's a kind of hole Jonathan has dug for himself isn't something you always climb out of by yourself. Jonathan is so close to ruining his life when he doesn't have to. I don't think this is something Nancy can fix. It isn't something Argyle can fix. It isn't something Will can fix. I think he needs his mom to do it. She's the only one that can set him right.

Joyce discovering Jonathan's lies and him being self sacrificial again, putting himself down for her and Will's sake.... I can just see how that would play out in my head. She'd find it unacceptable. She'd be upset, she'd have to shake him out of his stupor. She'd want to hear his reasoning to understand why he'd do this. She'd want to set him on the right path and reassure him that they'll be fine. That he doesn't have to do all that, he should do what makes him truly happy because that's what SHE wants too.

Tying up their relationship like this for the final season just feels right to me. It's not just a Jonathan thing. It's a Joyce thing. It's a Byers family thing. It's delicious and precious family feels.