#i can't explain it to myself any other way

[phoenixyfriend]

Was chatting about good alternate Cody&Obi-Wan dynamics with @threebea, and one of them we just had a lot of fun with.

Bea:

Cody: We are doing a good job at war. Are you proud general. Obi-Wan: [grump in CW '03] Cody being in a lacky position is very funny to me, if that makes sense. Cody: The boss will surely promote me. Obi-Wan: You're diligent and thorough but we cannot save supplies by powering this with my lightsaber that is not happening. I have always considered that of the two of them, Cody is the reckless hot-blooded one and Rex is the level-headed one. (Obi-Wan's view skewed however having raised one Anakin Skywalker making Cody kicking droids seem very reasonable and thought out.)

Here were my options for Cody and Obi dynamics:

Obi-Wan treating Cody the way he treats Anakin, early on in their working relationship, tentative but working on that angle because those two are the same age and rank so like. Cody might really be as much of a Dumb Young Man as most young men are, yes?

Obi-Wan treating Cody with a hands-off approach because the guy can manage the army while Obi-Wan runs off to stab the Count, right?

Obi-Wan treating Cody kinda coldly because his instinct is to be very delicate and nice to these traumatized young men, but they don't like it when he does that, so he has to be standoffish because otherwise he'll start babying them because they're barely any older than Anakin was when he got his boy.

Obi-Wan treating Cody as a Research Assistant because he's a nerd and sometimes padawans would be assigned to him in the archives, and Cody hovers behind his shoulder the way those students did so he just got distracted and started giving Research Guy orders instead of High General orders.

Aaaaaanyway we got in on that last one.

Obi-Wan definitely had to call him Padawan at least once Cody: ... [Looks around nope just him]

Cody: I expected to be mistaken for my brothers due to our faces. I did not expect to be mistaken for... Anakin Skywalker? Did I get that right?

Rex: My general called me mom once. I think he was joking? but I'm not sure.

One day, Cody has to come into the Temple for some professional reason, is told that Obi-Wan is in the archives, and walks into the sight of Obi-Wan wandering the stacks with several teenagers following him like ducklings, giving instructions with just "Padawan, could you grab that one?"

When Cody asks how they know which one he means, they tell him they don't. They just go with whoever's nearest the given task.

Cody: But he doesn't do this to any other clone [he does] Rex: You stand just behind his shoulder handing him files all day.

You Are Doing The Padawan Thing

Cody initially worried because implied Obi-Wan thinks of him as a student/not fully ready for the responsibility of being a commander or whatever. Obi-Wan: ? No I just… You're Padawan shaped. I can't explain it any better than that Cody gets it the most because he happens to stand exactly where Anakin used to stand the most often. Ironically, Obi-Wan tries hard to call Anakin by his name as a respect to his no longer being a student thing. Cody is firm about military discipline calling Obi-Wan sir and General because if he called him Master Kenobi or Obi-Wan the 'mistaken for Padawan' thing would happen three times as often. Cody: [grumbles] Alpha-17 didn't have this problem. Rex: Alpha-17 drew a line between himself and the Padawan day one to avoid it I think.

Alpha also has been acting like a middle-aged man since he was five. The disdain. Dripping.

Which actually didn't save him he was just more openly insulted when it happened once so Obi-Wan made sure never to do it again. Alpha: I was trained by Jango Fett himself and have proven myself a full fledged captain. I am not a Padawan :/ Obi-Wan: [listening to the speech] noted Cody: [far too polite to ever correct Obi-Wan] What did you need, General? Probably reinforced Alpha acting like an old man. I think he even calls Anakin kid? Anakin: I'm older than you you're the kid 😦 Obi-Wan: Padawan don't argue with the captain. I need a five times Obi-Wan called Cody Padawan (and one time when it was Alpha-17) fic now lol

Anakin: Why does he get away with-- Obi-Wan: Because I feel that if I call him Padawan by accident again, he may break something. And we don't have the funds for that.

Anakin: [in the room once but realizes Obi-Wan was taking to Cody] Anakin: Am I jealous by rival son/Padawan or am I amused that Obi-Wan is going senile?

"my baby boy" vs "generic younger person whom I feel some fondness for"

It's like. Old southern men who refer to anyone younger than them as "son" or "miss."

Obi-Wan: It's even gender neutral I don't have to remember names at all. Obi-Wan also probably called Ahsoka 'Anakin' a number of times, but that's due more to the A name combined with her jumping off something a Padawan should not be jumping off of. He mostly defaults to Padawan but a scolding 'Anakin! No!' Comes out every now and then for her. Obi-Wan: Anakin! No! Anakin, beside him: What? Obi-Wan: ...Sorry, force of habit. Ahsoka! No!

[sporeclan]

Hellooooo! I’m working on a clangen blog of my own, so I’m going around asking my favorite clangen blogs some questions. I’m happy to get answers to whichever you feel like answering (or none at all if you don’t feel like it!)

What program and file size do you use?

If you use a font, what font is it?

How far ahead do you recommend playing?

Do you have any advice for layouts?

Do you have any tips for lighting/drawing fur?

Do you have any tips for making cats look more unique?

If you do backgrounds, do you have any advice for creating them?

If you use them, where do you recommend finding reference images?

Hi!! :D

1) I use Clip Studio Paint! Unfortunately not a free program, but I'm very very fond of it. Definitely recommend it to anyone who has the money! My file size is about 1680px wide, I believe? With varying heights. I definitely wouldn't recommend doing it that way, but it's what works for me so :')

2) I made the font myself, actually! Highly recommend doing that tbh, it's a happy medium between getting something handwritten looking without having to spend a thousand years writing haha :D There are probably a hundred websites out there that let you make you own font, but I used Calligraphr

3) It depends! For me playing to about 12-15 moons ahead with a minimum of 6 moons works really well with my style and workflow. Makes me able to cobble together these small interpersonal plotlines while also letting me occasionally play and get new drama to get invested in these characters all over again about. But if I were going for something with a major overarching plot, I would probably go a lot further ahead, if not straight up take the playthrough as far as I'd want it/until a game over just to not risk rng screwing with my plans

4) I would suggest looking up comic panelling tips in general for a better explaination than what I can offer, but I'll try to explain my basic process :'D I mostly go by heart, but I do like to sometimes follow this rule of thumb I like to call the 'Z'

When we read text, we learn to go from left to right, then back to left at a slight diagonal to get to the next line. By following that simple shape when placing characters and especially text, it makes it flow much more naturally to us. And when your pages flow well, you get to break that flow when you want a scene to feel more tense! I tried doing that with the last two panels of the page above and I really liked how that came out :D

Another couple of tips is 1) try not to make the panels too uniform 2) if you want to use two panels for one scene, slanting the side of a panel can make it feel like they flow into each other better, like matching two puzzle pieces if that makes sense 3) small overlapping panels are great for reaction shots and so fun to do!

And lastly, don't be afraid to break the panel border!

It can add a lot of momentum and impact if used right! Plus it's so fun to do <3

5) No sorry, I don't do lighting/shading in my comics at all :'D

6) I have a couple posts here and here describing my own process a bit! But otherwise I'd like to refer to whisper-cats' response to this same prompt, it's pretty in depth and I think they give some really solid advice here!

7) Not particularly, just find a style that works for you the best. I don't do a lot of backgrounding, but when I do, it's in this lineless limited palette style because that's just my favourite kind of background to make

I do highly recommend trying to limit how much time you spend on a background. Don't burn yourself out on one panel because then you'll never wanna finish the whole page!

And for 8), I dont use references so sadly I can't give you any good recommendations there either :')

I hope any of this made sense, lol! Good luck with your blog!

[dtupdating]

DREAM replied to another Reddit post!

Transcript under the cut!

Ludwig slightly misremembered, and didn't explain in a super fair way imo it makes me sound way worse than what actually happened

tldr;

I dmd ludwig suggesting he make a video, and offering myself for questions

ludwig replied and eventually said that I jokingly called one of his friends a whore

Due to the fact that a friend of Nicolas Cantu's had recently falsely said that "I got slapped at a party for calling a girl a whore", I asked him if that's what it was about.

He said no, and that he can't tell me more information because he doesn't think it's worth resurfacing it for her sake

I replied with a message about that, and then said I'd also provide context to the other situation just in case he was just telling me it's not about that situation (to "protect" the person's identity) even though it was, because I had no idea about any other situation.

Here's the important parts of that message that I sent him:

oh well unfortunately I guess I can't talk about this because I don't know what you're talking about at all, but I will say this as a general statement; A lot of people spread false stuff about me, or exaggerate, and have done it a lot ESPECIALLY during all of this stuff going on, as it's easy to sensationalize things because of how "hated" I seem. Intentionally, OR unintentionally. I have had to clear up so many different false stories of me being weird, or just a total shit bag, because the rumor mill runs super fucking strong when you're getting shit on 24/7. And every time it's just "oh okay that makes sense". It's not always someone lying, but it's almost always someone not realizing that exaggerating and mischaracterizing what they're saying can be a big deal, and isn't something they should do. I have never randomly called someone a whore, I have never called someone a whore derogatorily, and I would never do that.

I will completely and fully say that I have called friends of mine jokingly whore's / sluts / whatever, GUYS ANDS GIRLS, but only with people that joke along with it, or have expressly said they don't care, and again, only with friends of mine. This situation has been a lesson to just never say it at all though, because it's being used to make me out as a bad person. I would never use it that way, never ever meant anything negative when I've ever said it, and never have used it to insult or demean anyone, in any way.

I don't know the situation you're talking about, and obviously it's seemingly a bad look to have "multiple instances" where I called a girl a whore lmao, but I just cannot fathom that I called a stranger a whore, even jokingly, regardless of whether I was drunk or not. If I actually did, I would absolutely want to apologize and clear up anything that I possibly can with them, because it's upsetting to know that I made anyone upset or made them feel badly. I would like to say though, that it's not unreasonable to think that it is a misrepresentation of what actually happened, or is being looked at through a negative tint given recent events, when if this wasn't all going on, it would've been viewed as "oh that's obviously a joke". Given the fact that I have been a bit of a punching bag for a bit online, and you never know what motivations people have to spread things. Idk when this would've been as well, because like I said, the Nicolas stuff was pretty eye opening in a lot of ways, including specifically how people feel about those words in general. Which I never really thought about, and again, I've always been extremely careful and delicate with how I interact with anyone I've just met.

I NEVER would demean or speak down on someone like that. If that did actually happen, it was naivety on my part and not malice, and it's a word I'm removing from my vocabulary, and I hope I get a chance to apologize to them. But again, I have no idea what you're specifically talking about, so I probably won't get a chance, or even confirmation that it happened.

Either way, I understand why he didn't reply (I sent walls of text) and don't fault him for it. Although, the way this was said is annoying!

[pinkkop]

Another week has passed! And I'm still sticking to my weekly recap, though I know 2 weeks isn't super impressive but I'm sticking to this!! I've actually set up a whole system to make these posts and I'm probably going to make a post explaining how tomorrow (link to post)

As always, any constructive criticism is welcome and I'll probably keep improving this format for a while.

QL Recap for Week 2

The 6th of January to the 12th of January

🇹🇼 See Your Love

Episode 13 of 13 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: This show was just so good and it definitely stuck the landing. Both couples were great, felt very fresh and I was super invested in both. If they'd had a longer runtime they could have definitely used more time on the core plot and the second couple but that's really more of a wish of mine. They used the time they had well and I can definitely see myself returning to this. And just the cherry on top of two great pairings came an interesting plot which didn't treat Shaopeng's disability as something to be fixed and instead showed all the ways he was perfect just the way he is.

🇹🇭 ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat

Episode 5 of 13 || Watching on: Youtube

Another great episode! Was a little surprised that Thame hadn't realized he has feelings for Po yet but at least we got there now. I'm not entirely sure what Jun's problem is yet but at least it seems like Po knows he is up to something. Nano's fear of failure and desperate need to not feel like a burden to other people was so relatable and I'm really happy they all were there to help him understand that it's okay to rely on other people. It's safe to say I'm very invested in this show!

🇹🇭 The Heart Killers

Episode 7 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube

Oh this was delicious! Just the intricacies of Bison and Fadel now also knowing Kant and Style's motives and pretending they don’t. The BB gun scene was insane because it felt very close to home when Bison and Fadel are used to being out shooting people but this was just for pretend. Two things were said in this scene which I'd bet was foreshadowing: Style asking to be allowed to help which might mean he'll be shooting a real gun in the future and Kant saying he'll shield Bison which I'd bet means he'll try and shield Bison for real in the future and might actually get shot. Overall the acting in this episode was phenomenal!! Particularly the final boat scene was just *chef's kiss*

🇹🇭 Your Sky

Episode 9 of 12 || Watching on: iQiYi

Oh they are just the sweetest boyfriends!! Can't wait for Hia and Real to finally get their shit together and have a proper talk but luckily they'll take steps towards that next week. This show is just my happy space right now.

🇹🇭 Fourever You

Episode 16 of 17? || Watching on: Gray

I'm still one episode ahead but I wont spoil anything so don't worry if you haven't seen episode 16. I feel a little bad but I was pretty happy about having an episode for just Johan and North. I absolutely adore them so it was so great get more background story on them. For some reason I thought this show was only 16 episodes so I have no clue what the total nr. of episodes are anymore. I wouldn't mind a couple of more episodes with Johan and North as the focus though because they're the highlight of this show for me. I do also love seeing the two friend groups and their friendships which to be honest I could use more of. I love that even the very masculine group of friends have each others backs and are able to be vulnerable in with each other.

🇯🇵 Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu

Episode 10 of 10 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: Oh these two! This was such a good story of living in a world that doesn't accept you. Just two lonely lost boys finding love and a home in each other. Even when they get their happy ever aften they still live in a society where they have to hide and it just breaks my heart. I just hope they find better friends. Overall I really liked this show and how it was produced. I could easily feel the pain of these two and put myself in their place. It was by no means perfect but it was a good little show with all the things that made me enjoy watching it.

🇹🇭 Petrichor

Episode 7 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi

I'm still enjoying this very much and putting the killer in-between our two main characters was so delicious. The crime plot and the romance are heavily intertwined and one enhances the other. This was the same with Spare Me Your Mercy but also the reason why when SMYM didn't develop the relationship enough it also affected the rest of the plot. I don't find that this is the same problem here though.

🇹🇭 Caged Again

Episode 10 of 10 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: This concept was absolutely bonkers but they made it work really well. I loved how they played into the animal characters because it made it feel more believable and original and fun. I fully believed that the two were transformed from specific animals and it made it great. It kinda lost it's magic towards it's end but I still think its well worth a watch.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners

Episode 12 of 24 || Watching on: Youtube

I'm still invested in Gun and Yotha, and I'm loving Arc's presence in their lives. I however was very confused about Aou and Boom's couple suddenly getting screen-time. I like these two as actors but since their characters came into this show already established and with very little screen-time before this week I'm not invested in them at all.

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World

Episode 2 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi

This show is suffering from the large amount of shows airing on Sunday because I'm struggling to pay enough attention to actually get invested. The acting and production value is there and I like the plot a lot but I usually get to this third so I'm usually tired and anxious about in being Sunday when I get to it which isn't an easy situation to get into a new show.

🇯🇵 Futtara Doshaburi

Episode 1 of 7 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I don't understand how you can slowly start moving your beds away from each other in a relationship. They got some serious issues and desperately need to talk about it but are doing anything but that. I'm a little confused about the otsee your loher couples(?) dynamic, are they dating? Just roommates? They're acting like they're more than roommates at times but I guess we'll find out. I assume that all that is something we'll find out so I'm intrigued by this show, even if I worry a little that they'll get into "cheating" territory at some point which is not my cup of tea.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw

Episode 3 of 8 || Watching on: iQiYi

Sangnim and Dinneaw are super cute and I love all the languange stuff and I'm also interested so see where the second couple goes. But other than that I kept thinking all episode: "What even is this show? " The Pony thing still isn't my kind of humor but I'm assuming someone is finding it funny. The third couple however, what even is the point of them? We don't know them at all so I'm not invested in them or their relationship and I don't even know what those sex scenes are? Like they're neither funny nor sexy, why are they there? This is the one time where I'll allow NC scenes to be called unnecessary. I'm just so confused so if anyone has any insights please let me know!! Maybe it's just not my thing? I don't ever remember watching a show where I really liked parts of if but then absolutely didn't like other parts.

🇨🇳 I'll Turn Back This Time

Episode 1 of 6 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I really like Meet You at the Blossom so I'm very curious to see if this can live up to the hype. They pretty much speed ran "enemies to lovers to something more" so I'm worried that this will come back to bite them in the ass later. Either way I'm intrigued and I'll wait and see the show unfold more before I make more of a judgement on this show.

🇹🇼 Eternal Butler

Episode 5 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I'm watching this incredibly casually because I'm not big on robots in romantic relationships and, like it's predecessor, Anti Reset, you shouldn't think too hard about the plot.

That's it for this week!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[zshiftsrealties]

QUANTUM IMMORTALITY

to the anon who asked about immortality in regards to shifting from a religious pov, this post is specifically for you.

we know that one can shift to infinite realities out there to be explored, and live many different lives — for as long as desired.

now the question was, "since we can shift we're basically immortal, but then from a religious perspective we know we'll die eventually, so it doesn't make sense". i'll try to explain myself better so bear with me pls.

when we say that we're "immortal" in regards to shifting, that means we're literally immortal in any other reality we shift to. incase that we unfortunately pass away in any of our drs, we will wake up here. but if we were to pass away here, then from a religious perspective, that's the end of our worldly life — was what my answer was (along the lines of).

to which another (not sure if it was the same person or not) anon asked, "what's special about this reality?". let me answer this better too. in no way is this reality"realer" than any other reality out there — as i've said before.

take this example; say you shift from this reality to some other one (1dr), then from that reality to another one (2dr), and from that one to another one (3dr). now, if you pass away in 3dr, you'll wake up in 2dr since that's where you shifted from. then when you pass away in 2dr, you'll wake up in 1dr, and then from there back to this one. do you see where this is going? you're going back the same way you came from. now, no ones to say you can't shift from 3dr to your this reality without going through the trouble of going to rest of the drs. and yes, you can. but, that's when you WANT that to happen. if maybe it's a sudden death, you'll wake up in the reality you shifted from (as I see it, atleast). so now, if you pass away in your current reality, where do you go? back where you came from. to God. so what's "special" is that you're not immortal here, since your soul that was put into this vessel will be taken from this very vessel.

to explain my pov in terms of quantum immortality — "quantum immortality" is a theory that suggests that a person's consciousness can continue to exist in a parallel universe after they die in the current one. we know that there's infinite versions of us out there, and to be them, we simply have to shift our awareness to the specific "us" we want to be. awareness is the key factor here. now, in the case that in this reality you pass away, your awareness would simply go back to God. does that mean you don't exist anymore? in this reality, yes, you don't. in any other reality, no. parts of your consciousness will continue to exist on as they did before you were even aware of shifting, but, since you can't transfer your awareness to any other you anymore, you're basically deceased.

i'm not saying it's impossible to be immortal though (if that's what you believe), because there are many posts where people have said they've manifested not dying, or choosing when to die. do I think they're lying? definitely not (even if I don't believe in something like that). so everything stated above is only in the case that you don't manifest something like that.

again, we can always agree to disagree, and this is only what I believe in. if you believe differently, that's totally valid. and I hope I atleast got my point across (and I deleted my replies to both the anons, as I wanted to address this topic in one post since they're interlinked, so hopefully the two anons won't mind).

[futchivemind]

yaoi glasses off, it does intrigue me that there is a clear contradiction in Viktor's thought process when showing Jayce the arcane.

he shows Jayce the arcane in order to stop himself, in another timeline, to get corrupted by the arcane. but if he never showed Jayce the arcane in the first place then he wouldn't be having this problem. if he never showed Jayce magic, then he'd never think of pursuing it, therefore they'd never meet, and hextech would never be created.

obviously this is most likely just a plot hole they didn't think about, but if you think about it outside of that... maybe Viktor was just being selfish. he knew that hextech was the only way they could ever actually meet and partner up. even if they crossed paths, there was no reason for the assistant of the dean to get seriously involved with some random student. he kept showing Jayce the arcane because he knows how much he, and therefore every other version of him, love Jayce. yes, it ends in catastrophe, but like he said— Jayce can, and will save him. maybe that too was an unspeakable act for love. selfish love, but love nonetheless.

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

maybe bsol is that time jen tepper mentions when she was so upset about a review of a show of joe's that she broke a glass (&/or threw it out a window)

[asterdeer]

video called "pirate shirt tutorial that actually makes sense" with a thumbnail clickbaitingly copying bernadette banner's style, which does the exact same thing as bernadette banner's video but more confusingly and without a diagram in the video itself, also failing to understand that bernadette banner's channel is primarily a history channel and not a sewing tutorial channel so telling people they don't have to hand-sew the pirate shirt or they don't have to thread-pull is unnecessary because bernadette banner literally said "do this however you want, i just do it this way because it's how i learn about historical dress practices" in her own video. couldn't ask for better youtube entertainment

[lonelyplanetfag]

why did they make gender so complicated what's up w that

[keeps-ache]

[stares at you but it actually looking behind you] do you think moths would like to drive cars

[polarfarina]

My brain does scary things to me but it's only sometimes and sometimes it still lies but in a fun or harmless way that doesn't affect anything

Not really sure if it's all stuff everyone experiences sometimes or if it's something that if it happened a teeny bit more often would need to get treated. Idk even for what though

[mosspapi]

Dude honestly idk if I can actually even keep fucking doing this. Like I'm still so exhausted and fatigued and in pain from yesterday there's almost no way I can do class tmrw, much less every other day for the next 8 months. Genuinely idk how I'm gonna do this

[eveningearlgrey]

I've been pondering about this for almost a week and I'm still not sure if I really should talk about this or not.

But then again no one's gonna see me rambling anyway so here goes nothing.

I'm still insecure about how I write, and the way I tell my story. I know my style is rather unusual comparing to how others write. And I couldn't help but think if I really should continue doing whatever I'm doing because...I don't know? Am I really improving from my past self, or is this me devolving to something worse than what I used to be?

Anyway, that's the end of my little self-doubt babbling of the day. Bye.

[sophiamcdougall]

I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)