#i can't even be spiteful right now. i can't even be mad at people.

[elytrafemme]

the concept of doing something irrational and risky and wrong and keeping it to yourself is... strange, to me. none of you will believe me, but i don’t tell my real life friends much about my mental health nowadays. but in the past, and sometimes still now on my bad days, i like making jokes out of it. everything is a performance. so i don’t get it. i want to do bad things and then i want to tell people that i did it. 

but apparently that makes me. more mentally healthy. because i can admit it and analyze it. i don’t want to analyze it. i don’t want to sound like i have self awareness because that is a bad thing for me. other people need more awareness, i need less. i have abandonment issues not because of people leaving me, but because my own symptoms leave me as soon as i recognize them. like i’m all better. 

so i want to do mentally ill things. it’s not natural and i always have to overplay it. i say i’m not aware i’m doing things that i am very aware i am doing. i just. lie. all the time. because i need people to know. i don’t know what about this method is flawed. 

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[inbarfink]

I have… so many little thoughts about Simon’s shift in the climax of ‘Prismo the Wishmaster’. He’s so ready to give up, to resign to Death By Interdimensional Beetle Cop. And the thing that pulls him out of it, gets him to see a purpose in his life again, is seeing Fionna cry.

And this moment is so important for Fionna and Cake because this is their first moment to really process the Implications and Consequences of their magical adventure. You know, it’s not just a dream you can wake up from - this is actually a matter of life and death and the fate of their entire world.

And it’s actually, also kinda the same from Simon’s perspective? Even if he was already told they are real and have been real all along a while ago - I think seeing Fionna break out in tears is really the moment where he processed her not as a manifestation of Ice King’s madness, not as yet another way the universe is kicking him when he’s down, not as a cruel joke at his expense. But really actually as people, who need his help.

And, I think about this, also in context with this moment?

Simon Petrikov is… a dad at heart. Simon’s first focus episode in F&C starts with a prologue of him and Marceline surviving in the wasteland. Showing that despite being under much more miserable circumstances

he still seemed to hold himself together far better than present-day Simon. 

Because the need to protect Marcy and keep her happy was giving him purpose and a motivation to hold himself together. 

And this desire to help and nurture and protect is clearly still deep within him. It’s just that now he feels incapable for doing so. In both body-

And spirit -

But now, suddenly, he is once again the Only Person Who Can Help this younger person in distress.

And I think that is a huge part of his motivation to keep on going right now. I mean, just look at how quickly he goes from dismissing Fionna and Cake - into basically declaring that he has to protect them. And fully willing to sacrifice his own identity and sanity to bring magic back to their world because he knows it’ll make Fionna and Cake happy. Because the moment he saw Fionna tear up, he basically decided to Adopt her.

And that’s, you know, technically a step forward - but it is a very very imperfect step. 

Like, at the very least he’s not drinking his sorrows away while waiting for death out of pure despair and spite. At least he has a sense of purpose and a reason to open up for others again and bond. And we’ve seen how much this has been a great coping mechanism for pulling himself together through difficult times.

My guess is that after two episodes of only seeing Simon Petrikov at his lowest and very worst - Fionna and Cake are finally going to get an understanding of Simon’s actual positive qualities as his dad-instincts are going to bring them up to the surface again. 

Buuuuuuuut….

You know, tying your sense of self-worth and motivation entirely to how well you can Dad is not particularly healthy in the long run either. And it’s going to cause problems both for Simon and for F&C.

Looking at it from what's best of Simon, for the sake of protecting Fionna and Cake and making them happy by bringing magic and wonder back into their world - Simon is willing to throw himself right into the suffering and trauma that he’s been fearing all this time and has been trying so hard to get away from. I mean, it’s also about how Simon has started to miss being Ice King in a weird twisted way and how he resigned himself to being miserable in general. It’s also about that, but the part that he actually says out loud is that he’s doing this to protect Fionna and Cake.

So that’s, you know, still very Not Good. Simon can’t hang his entire ability to properly function on there being Younger People who need his protection. He can't actually move forwards by trying to relive the Better Times of the Horrible Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland. That's not a sustainable coping mechanism. And it’s an incredibly unhealthy amount of self-sacrifice. 

And on Fionna’s side… she never said she wanted Simon to protect her.

She might want a useful teammate or a helping hand, she might need a friend. But I don’t think she needs a Dad. Simon is surely old enough to be her father (even just counting his age biologically and not the fact he’s 1058 years old) but Fionna’s not a Literal Child like Marcy was. Fionna Campbell is a grown-ass woman in her early 30’s (Finn is 29 years old right now and there was always kinda the implication that Fionna was a bit older than him). 

(And, heck, if she IS the daughter of a gender-flipped Minerva Campbell, she is probably not in the market for a new overprotective dad. She’s fully booked out on that.)

AND while Fionna does not possess full memories of her magical-adventuring-self, she clearly retains some of her fighting and athletic abilities.

Meanwhile Cake is clearly an adult in cat years and is just as much of an insanely powerful shapeshifter as Jake was.

So where does this middle-aged scrawny nerd get off, acting like it’s his job to sacrifice his mind in order to protect them?

And Fionna very much wants to be the hero, she wants to be at the center of the action. It is no coincidence that her own idealized version of Ice King/Simon is a Tuxedo Mask.

Someone who can give her a helping hand and words of encouragement when things get rough - 

But still lets her be the main hero of the story.

And you know, right now Fionna and Cake have not fully processed the implications of Simon choosing to become Ice King… but once they see a bit of who Simon really is at his better moments. Yeah, they’re probably gonna have some objections to the idea that he should throw his entire identity away just for their own sake. 

Back when Simon allowed the Crown to slowly consume him so he could protect Marcy, it felt like a noble sacrifice. It really seemed like he had no other options. But now he has the entire multiverse on his disposal and two serious badasses on his side. Simon has to learn to see the difference between a codependent senseless self-sacrifice and something that will actually help Fionna and Cake.

So if Simon is really going to lean too hard on his Dad aspect, it’s actually going to cause some really big problems down the line. For his own mental well-being, and for Fionna and Cake. It is in a way, a step in the right direction. And I think it’s going to lead to our main trio finally becoming closer and understanding each other - but unless Simon learns to temper himself, it’s going to cause some serious interpersonal conflicts.

At least this is my thoughts about these interactions right now. I know they’ve been really short but I think they’re really full of Meaning and Emotions. But really, we’ll just have to wait and see.

[theminecraftbee]

The thing in her cargo hold is looking at her again.

Really, Gem should have sold it by now. If the fishmonger had refused to take it--and really, it seems unlikely, Gem thinks, that the fishmonger would refuse to take it; he has taken and carved up and made meals of far stranger fish than one with a human face and hands and torso--she could have easily sold it to the man on the train, who takes exotic catches for his zoo. She could have even taken it to Grian; it's not a mending book, but it's the sort of thing he'd like to make fun of her for catching, instead of anything she's after.

Really, she should have. The longer she keeps the thing in her cargo hold, the more it starts to look properly human to her. She should know better. She has caught far stranger fish, and none of them have been human. It's another trick these seas have been playing on her, she thinks.

Long nights alone do that to a woman.

She ignores it. Instead, she opens the lid of the tank and starts depositing salmon. "It's a really weird request, that I keep them alive the whole time. You won't eat them, right?" Gem says, knowing the thing in her cargo hold can't answer. "Because if you eat them, this time, I really am going to sell you to the fishmonger. Or maybe I can figure out how to get fillets from you on my own? I've certainly eaten weirder fish..."

The thing in the cargo hold continues to stare. It has eyes that look like little moons, and brown hair, and it is smiling for some reason. Gem huffs.

"Don't give me that look! You are a fish. I am a fisherman. If mere human faces stopped me from doing my job, I would have gone mad a long time ago."

The thing in the cargo hold smiles wider. The lights flicker. Gem rolls her eyes and finishes putting salmon in the tank. As though to spite her, the thing in the cargo hold immediately lashes out, grabbing one in the claws on her otherwise-human hands and then tearing it apart with razor-sharp teeth. Blood rises on the water. Gem sighs.

"I have a harpoon in here somewhere, or at least a very sharp knife," she says to herself. She doesn't really want to use her nice knife, the one she always keeps on her belt, but she ought to have another knife around with which she can finish the job, right?

The lights flicker and go out. When she looks across at the tank, there are two silvery-moon eyes looking at her.

Gem pulls a wire. Gem turns the lights back on. She takes a deep breath.

"I really should have sold you by now, really. If the fishmonger won't take you, then the zookeeper would love you," Gem says.

The radio crackles. Gem startles. Very, very few people ever contact her on the shipboard radio, but if she's getting a signal, that's more important than a grudge match with a fish. She heads over to answer the call.

An amalgamation of voices responds:

YOU ARE FUNNY. I HAVE A MESSAGE. A DELIVERY. YOU'VE TRAPPED ME THOUGH.

Slowly, Gem turns around to the thing in the cargo hold.

"This won't stop me from treating you like a fish," she says. "If messages from the ocean stopped me--"

A terrible, crackling laugh sounds from the radio.

I AM THE MOON'S PEARL. YOU WILL NOT HOLD ME FOREVER. WE WILL SEE WHO EATS WHO.

Gem wags her finger. "We'll see, for sure, as long as you don't eat my salmon. That man in the fish-scaled suit was VERY insistent, you know."

TELL ME MORE.

"You're tying up my radio. What if there's another ship? What if there's something important?"

OH GEM. YOU KNOW THERE WON'T BE.

Gem swallows.

The thing in the cargo hold is staring at her.

"I need to sleep. I need to go to shore," she says.

YOU WON'T, the radio says.

She won't.

[lunarriviera]

hi hey hello i have started watching a new crime drama and I AM OBSESSED. it's called 雪迷宫 or, for some reason, The First Shot, although it should be more properly Snow Maze. it's a period piece set in 1997 and it's produced by ZHANG YIMOU which must be why the production values are actually good??? anyway i am here to tell you all about it and why you should be watching it okay here we go

first of all there's a big hot dumb cop, zheng bei. yes that's huang jingyu and you might not like him because of his apparently quite sketchy personal life but all i care about in this case is that he's tall, and thoughtful, and a police captain who's protective of his people and a little bit of an idiot. my catnip tbh. (i guess he was in addicted too? somehow breaking the you-can-only-be-in-one-BL rule?)

(ETA that by "dumb" of course he's not dumb at all, only by comparison; cf. my own stupid meta on this fascinating topic)

then there's an effete genius consultant, gu yiran (wang ziqi), who knows everything there is to know about drugs. he comes from the south to help these ignorant northerners form an anti-narcotics unit. he's such a massive nerd, the team doesn't like him until they realize that he runs 10k every morning and can outrun motorcycles and is actually quite useful. then suddenly it's no longer "gu-laoshi" but is all "ran-ge" this and "ran-ge" that. he can't dance for shit. i adore him.

there's a superb seven-samurai style Assembling The Team sequence in which this cop is brought in as the muscle. Her nickname is mad dog yao and she kicks the ass of an entire club at one point. we love her. her only problem is that, not unlike zhang haixing in tibetan sea flower, she will in fact fight a wall. here's gu yiran's face after a drug dealer mistakenly underestimates her and she stomps on him.

one of my favorite things about this drama so far is how poor the police are. it's 1997 in a dinky northern precinct and these cops ain't got shit. no computers. rudimentary cellphones. barely any forenic analysis, and most of that is on pieces of paper. no bullpen. no interrogation rooms. they have to interview suspects at their desks.

captain zheng is so underpaid he can't even afford a real pointer for his situation board, he has to go outside and get a literal stick.

drives his dad's chicken delivery van. has to slam himself against the front door to open it. everything about this is absolutely perfect.

i'm only on episode 7 but this shit is already brotastic. please behold:

yes that is an actual line from the show. yes gu yiran has to live with captain zheng, they can't afford fancy accommodations for him. turns out there's a trundle bed made out of paper clips but that's okay, they still get plenty of cosy domestic time together.

and that's also what i already love about this drama—in spite of being about anti-narcotics, it's also very slice of life, very daily city life, with meals and neighbors and friends and family and did i mention food, there is so much eating in this drama. it's gorgeous. also i'm improving my colloquial chinese by leaps and bounds.

of course you are you stupid service top, now take care of the baby.

and those are just some of the reasons why you should be watching the first shot, which is funny and suspenseful and unexpectedly brainy and well-cast and has beautiful opening credits. there are 19 episodes on youku's youtube channel right now and the subs are shockingly high quality. i'm hooked, and also so mad at my day job because i can't just binge it, pls join me in this handbasket

[princesscolumbia]

Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

[lovings4turn]

જ⁀➴  𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐋  . . .  (𝐆. 𝐑.)

— two things are definite: you like george, and george likes you. unfortunately, you two seem to be the only ones who don't see it.

+ part of my 'be my valentine' mixtape series ! love this song and i was so excited to use it for a george fic, so i hope you enjoy <3

“oh mate, you’re joking.”

“shut up!” george huffed, running the palm of his hand down his face in exasperation. “it was not that bad.”

he could defend himself all he liked, because in spite of that, george knew it really was.

this was possibly the third time this month that george had fumbled his chance to ask you out, and alex was beginning to grow tired of his friend’s constant pining and lingering stares. 

“here’s what you’re gonna do,” alex said, his voice growing more serious as he looked george dead in the eyes. “you’re gonna ring y/n, and you’re gonna tell her you forgot something at her place. a shirt, socks, anything.”

"but i haven't?"

"not the point," alex groaned. "you're gonna tell her that, so you have an excuse to turn up there. this is your chance. don't be a stupid. tell her you think she's cool, that you like her, something to charm her."

george still wasn't convinced. his brows were pinched together as he ran over alex's plan in his mind, able to find a thousand different ways it could go wrong for him.

"right. and what happens when she realises that i haven't actually left anything there, and i just look like a massive twat for showing up?"

alex wasn't sure that he could take any more.

"mate, you can't just sit around and wait for some sort of fairy tale ending to come out of nowhere for you. at some point, you're just going to have to confess to her."

though he was being assertive, alex was still trying to be supportive, laying a hand on george's shoulder and delivering a friendly pat of encouragement.

"i can promise you she's probably thinking the exact same thing right now, anyways."

george scoffed, his answer hanging in the air unspoken. as if.

unbeknownst to george, alex was a lot closer to the truth than even he may have realised.

the events of the afternoon were playing on a loop in your mind as you tried to dissect every last piece of your interaction with george, from how he'd greeted you - a brief side hug and a smile - to how he'd said goodbye - a weak effort to get you to stay and a silly, yet endearing, wave.

was this your life now? driving yourself mad over even the smallest little details, all because of some stupid feelings?

when you'd first started developing somewhat of a crush on the mercedes driver, you made a promise to yourself that it would never become a thing. and you had kept that promise for roughly four months, until you made a huge error: revealing your feelings to someone else.

ever since you had let it slip to a friend that you actually quite liked george in ways that far surpassed the platonic label, you'd been - for lack of a better phrase - absolutely fucked.

now you had people to fuel your delusions, try to convince you that george had to feel the same way, and no, of course he wasn't just being polite when he offered you his jacket, you fool. outside interference and reassurance should have made you more confident in your feelings, maybe even push you to confess, but instead they'd had the opposite effect.

the weight of the word 'hopeless' in hopeless romantic had really started to resonate with you. though you weren't allowed to dwell on your misfortunes for too long.

some may have chalked it up to fate, some may have attributed it to a divine power wanting to laugh at a poor mortal, but whatever the reason, your phone rang with an incoming call from george.

the stupid candid photo you’d taken as a contact picture flashed up on your screen, and the automatic smile that painted your lips made you want to yell in frustration.

"y/n, hi!"

pathetic was the perfect word to describe you, thanks to how utterly gone you were for george, as the mere sound of your name leaving his lips was enough to make your heart jump.

"sorry, know i only saw you a few hours ago, but i just remembered that i think i left one of my mercedes shirts at yours when i was there the other day."

you didn't even think twice about it, why would you? george had left countless items at your place in the past, and he would leave more in the future.

"no problem. y'can always come by and get it, i'll try and grab it for you."

george's chest ached at how ready to help you were.

"yeah? you're a lifesaver, y/n, really. i'll set off now, should be there in about fifteen minutes."

brief 'see you later's were exchanged, and the moment you set your phone down onto the coffee table, your hunt began.

you didn't recall seeing one of george's shirts anywhere around, but previous mishaps had enlightened you to the fact that things could turn up anywhere. you'd thought that the shoes buried right underneath your bed were odd, until a sock turned up in your bread bin a few weeks later.

nothing was off limits anymore.

yet, somehow, no matter where you looked, you couldn't find the fucking shirt. frustration slowly nibbled at your mind, the sound of a knock being the only thing to break you from your frantic search.

an annoyingly attractive george russell greeted you when you swung open the front door.

in all of the years he'd known you, george thought this was the most adorable you'd looked.

your hair was in disarray, the strands unkempt as though you'd been running your hands through it over and over again. your face shone a little, and you were clearly a little out of breath, if the small, panting gasps you took were anything to go by.

your apartment was a mess, and george quickly realised that you'd turned your entire place practically upside down to try and find a shirt that wasn't even there in the first place.

guilt began to bubble up in his throat, and george hoped that, after today, it would all be worth it. he only had one chance, and he wasn't going to fuck it up.

before he could allow doubt to creep into his mind and sow seeds of regret, george lifted a hand to cup your jaw. the feeling of your soft skin against his palm elicited a gasp to slip from his mouth. the parting of his lips provided you with the perfect opportunity to meld your lips together in a chaste, sweet kiss.

feelings went unspoken, for now. time would grant you the chance to properly word every last affection you harboured for one another at a later date.

besides, george was a firm believer that actions spoke louder than words, and this kiss was living proof.

george forced himself to pull back, his forehead resting against your own, and he believed that to die like this would be a blessed fate. because you were definitely going to kill him when you found out the truth.

"i lied, by the way. there was no shirt," he mumbled, blue eyes meeting yours with a wince.

"you fucking dick."

[daeneryseastar]

someone sent me an anon ask about the anti rhaenyra agenda most rhaenicent shippers have and like a dumbass i accidently deleted it so i'm just going to try my best to re-answer it here (yes i wrote a whole spiel about it and now it's gone forever and i'm upset.)

from what i can tell there are only two reasons as to why people can't stand rhaenyra but love rhaenicent; and it's because they either have some heavy internalized misogyny OR that's the only way to continue and keep their uwu sad lesbian alicent headcanons semi-tethered in reality. alicent is a character that has next to no positive interactions with other characters, least of all any women. she has a 'good' (and i say that lightly) relationship with rhaenyra for 2 episodes in hotd, and then they are adversaries for the rest of the show. the only other women we see her interact with are helaena and her lady in waiting talya ( who regularly spied on her for mysaria) and minus talya, those are the same female relationships she has in f&b. she doesn't really have a good track record with anyone.

in the book she terrorized rhaenyra from aegon's birth up until rhaenyra's death. rather than teaching her son to rule and raising him to be an upstanding prince of the realm she instead spent her time calling rhaenyra, a literal child, a slut, she accepted criston into her service as her own personal protector in spite of his predatory behavior towards rhaenyra (which she acknowledges), and continuously tries to have rhaenyra and her sons disinherited and killed due to her own spreading of the bastard rumors. not to mention that she was eighteen when she married viserys to rhaenyra's nine. there's really nothing romantic about it. in the show almost everything is still the same except for her being the one to arrange helaena's marriage to her known degenerate and rapist son (in f&b viserys is the one who had them marry) and most likely told her the same rhetoric of rhaenyra killing them to secure her claim that she told her sons from when they were babies up until the coup. with rhaenyra she still antagonizes her because she (lemme check again, told alicent she didn't sleep with daemon and got otto fired because he was working against the crown to install his grandson as heir over her). don't even get me started on the villainization of rhaenyra in order to uphold alicent's constant victimization storyline. alicent is the one who abused rhaenyra, not the other way around, and the age changes in the show (which are so stupid omg) only serve to make alicent more sympathetic and rhaenyra an apparent privileged brat who doesn't understand what it's like to suffer because of the men in her life and therefore deserves her fate (i can literally see the entire galaxy with how far back my eyes are rolled rn.)

if the show wanted to include or focus on two women who were torn apart by the patriarchy and the men around them, helaena's blank character was right there for the taking (and would've been even juicier with the sister vs sister, queen consort vs queen regnant debacle.) she has no personality in the book or any relevance besides losing her children in violent ways and going mad, they definitely could have made her a more present character on screen in a manner that adds an actual emotional connection to her but alas, rhaenicent is top priority. furthering that, if the show wanted to include queer representation with their leading lady, laena had more hints in the text for that type of relationship than anything the show has given us for the rhaenyra/alicent dynamic, even with how hard they're trying to force it down our throats.

the entire relationship has made the story go completely off kilter because the show won't just let it be, and it's affected almost all of their other relationships. they're not going to convince me that rhaenyra cares about alicent more than her own children or even vice versa (though in an entirely different manner) and that reconciliation is possible in spite of aemond murdering luke. it makes both the characters and the writers look like delusional idiots. there's absolutely no reason for these types of glaring mistakes in a series where characterization and the relationships that revolve from them are the reason it's so popular amongst the masses. this lack of proper relationship building has caused hotd to feel a lot more shallow and lackluster than what you'd expect with how massive it's budget was when they created it, the amount of talented actors they casted, and the literal blueprint laid out of what not to do that got season eight is. someone should have taken accountability for these dumb decisions and realized how quickly they're streamlining straight towards what ruined game of thrones in the first place.

[lucy90712]

I need a girl, who is lando norris' ex, getting involved with João after the Lando+Magui rumors.Where at first they did it to affect their exes, but then it becomes true!

Out of all the things I wanted to do fresh off a break up going to a party is near the bottom of the list but my friends insisted. They dragged me out of bed and got me in a cute outfit before dragging me out my apartment and to a taxi which was already outside. The party was in a big house and had lots of people who looked like they thought very highly of themselves. It really didn't feel like the type of place I wanted to be but my friends must've dragged me here for a reason and I trust them. Within minutes of arriving I had a drink in my hand and I was being led over to this group of guys who one of my friends seemed to know as they all greeted her warmly. She introduced the rest of us to them all until she got to the last guy which is when she pulled me forward and introduced us specifically. 

"Joao this is y/n, y/n this is Joao both your exes are assholes now you can talk about it" she said nudging me in his direction

"Hey I'm sorry about her she's a bit forward sometimes" I apologised 

"It's ok what she said about my ex is certainly true so I can't be mad" he said 

"You don't have to tell me but if you want to feel free to rant about what your ex did from experience it definitely makes you feel better" he said 

"He did so many things but we broke up less than two weeks ago and he's already been seen with a new girl and now I'm sure he was cheating on me with her as it's just too soon to have met someone and moved on" I ranted 

"That's awful my ex cheated too three times to be exact now I wonder why I went back to her every time" he said 

"Right I feel like such an idiot he'd do things he knew I didn't like and then he'd apologise and I'd just forgive him I must've been wearing rose tinted glasses not to see all the red flags" I said 

"You're ex sounds just like mine" he laughed 

"They'd get along well then" I joked 

We talked more about all the things our exes had done to us including the lying, the cheating and the endless manipulation. It felt good to have someone to rant with about how awful it feels to be in a relationship like that. Joao talked about how his ex was trying her best to be spiteful and be seen with someone who's also well known as apparently he plays football. I told him about how my ex probably wasn't being spiteful on purpose but that doesn't make it hurt any less to see him with another girl who's definitely prettier than I am so soon after our breakup. 

"If you don't mind me asking who is your ex your friend mentioned him before and said he made far too much money doing not a lot" he said 

"That sounds like something she'd say but no I don't mind saying I was with Lando Norris" I said 

"Wait Lando Norris" he said sounding concerned 

"Yeah why?" I asked a little worried now 

"He's the guy my ex is trying to be seen with all the time" he said 

"Wait Magui is your ex?" I asked 

"Yeah and I hate to be the person to tell you this but she's been hanging out with Lando for months I can't say if they've been more than friends but they've known each other a long time" he said 

"Well that's good to know who knew we'd have so much in common" I said trying to make light of the situation 

Joao was so sweet he apologised that his ex had ruined my relationship even though it's not his fault at all. We both talked about how much all the rumours and pictures of Lando and Magui have hurt us as no one else in our lives understands exactly what we're going through so to talk to someone who knows exactly how you feel somehow makes you feel better. 

Eventually our conversation drifted from our exes and we just got to know each other. Joao talked about football and how he's moved all over the place the last few years and I talked about how I've been trying to keep up with school while travelling the world following Lando at his request before settling in London. Despite being from different backgrounds we really did have a lot in common we shared a lot of similar interests and have a lot of similar life experiences. After we'd been talking for a while I understood why my friends insisted I come out tonight they knew Joao would be here and that we'd get along well. To start with I resented them for dragging me out my pity party but now I really appreciate it as I think I've got a new friend for life. 

I spent the entire night with Joao talking, laughing and drinking. it was the most fun I've had in a long time and that includes when I was with Lando. He really made me forget about everything which was exactly what I needed even if I didn't want to hear it before I got here. At the end of the night Joao offered to drop me home he hadn't been drinking alcohol as he had a game in a couple of days so I accepted and together we walked to his car. He drove me right to the door of my apartment building and got out to open my door for me but before he let me leave he asked for my phone number so we can stay in contact and I didn't hesitate to give it to him as I had fun tonight and I'd like to do that again. 

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up quite late this morning as I didn't get to sleep until just after 3am but when I did my phone was flooded with texts and notifications from pretty much every social media I have. As it turns out someone posted a picture from last night and in the background you can see me and Joao talking to each other clear as day. Of course the picture is now everywhere as football and f1 gossip accounts are talking about it and making rumours out of nothing. Everyone wants to know what Lando and Magui will think and if we were just trying to get back at them which wasn't the aim but I can't lie I would quite like if it were to bother Lando that I'm with a new guy. 

Joao had also text me making sure I was ok and saying if I wanted him to say something he would do which just proves that he's a much nicer guy than Lando as he'd never do anything like that. After I told him I didn't care he told me to tell him if it all gets too much and he'll put a stop to it but nothing will compare to the hate I got when people realised I'd taken their precious Lando Norris off the market. After last night I feel so comfortable with Joao that I decided to admit that it actually felt good to get some revenge on Lando and give him a taste of his own medicine. I was a little worried he would think I'm insane but he actually agreed with me after what we've both put up with making our exes look stupid feels good. He then asked me if I'd like to do that again like go somewhere and if we get seen together then so be it and I agreed straight away. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Last week Joao and I went out for coffee just to talk seeing as we got along so well and we just happened to be seen by fans and paparazzi which only fuelled the rumours that existed before. Earlier this week we went out to dinner together which I really enjoyed this time it wasn't our aim to be seen together we just wanted to get dinner together but someone still took a picture of us. I've looked at this picture everyday since because it's different to the other ones the smile on my face while Joao is talking is so genuine like I'm truly happy. I haven't been truly happy in ages but Joao makes me happy and thats had my head spinning with so many thoughts. 

All of this hasn't been helped by the fact that I've seen Joao every day this week after we went out for dinner Joao invited me over to his place to watch a movie together after that we've swapped who's place we spend the evening at. We've cooked together, watched movies, had game nights it's been the best week I've loved it so much. Spending so much time together without anyone else around has made me realise that I actually really like Joao. Whenever he texts me that he's on his way to mine or greets me at the door of his place I get this strange feeling in my stomach I suppose it's like butterflies but it's just the excitement of getting to see him. I've slowly started to realise that maybe I like Joao as more than a friend I've never looked forward to seeing a friend as much as I look forward to seeing Joao every evening and the way my heart rate increases when he gets anywhere near me is just like it was when I first met Lando. That should've been the first give away but I guess I didn't think I was ready to move on so I didn't let myself feel those feelings for Joao but there is never a right time to move on so why hold back. 

Having those feelings again is a little scary especially as I've just come out of a relationship that I didn't realise was so toxic and bad for me until now. There is also the fear that Joao may not feel the same it's clear that Magui has really messed him up which I totally understand but what if he's not ready to get into a new relationship or feel those feelings for someone else. That part of it does worry me as I don't want to make a move unless I know he feels the same as having him in my life even as just a friend has helped me so much. I don't want to lose the bond we've formed over the last few weeks just because I think I have feelings for him that would be stupid but I really do think I see Joao as more than a friend and part of me wants to risk it all to see if he feels the same.

Tonight he invited me over to his place to just relax as he has a match tomorrow but he still wanted to see me as he won't be back until late after his match so we won't see each other tomorrow. He told me to bring a board game with me as I have a collection of them and he's determined to try them all as most of them he's never heard of. So far he's beaten me at every game we've played so I tried to find a game I'm good at and can maybe win but I'll be honest he's just too good at everything so once he knows the rules he's going to crush me. I didn't really mind though as he never goes overboard when he wins like Lando would and I know he wouldn't get mad if he did lose. 

When I arrived at Joao's place he was waiting for me at the door and he took the board game boxes from me. Once he put them down he gave me a hug which is always so comforting just being in his arms makes me feel safe. We sat and talked about our days for a while before Joao suggested we make some food so we went to see what he had to make which wasn't a lot as he hadn't gone grocery shopping in a while. In the end we decided that pasta was easy enough and he had some vegetables to make a salad. I was in charge of the pasta while Joao made the salad which he cut everything for and then he needed the dressing which was in a cupboard next to me. While he reached for it he put his hand on the bottom of my back so I didn't step back into him which was meant as a harmless gesture but it sent a shiver down my spine and had me blushing like crazy. It took me the rest of the time we spent cooking for me to recover from that but luckily I don't think Joao noticed or if he did hopefully he didn't think it was because of him. 

After dinner we played the board games I brought which Joao beat me at most of the time but I did beat him once which felt good although he might've been letting me win. Then we kind of just sat in silence but it wasn't uncomfortable at all there was no need for one of us to say something and break the silence we could sit like that for hours and there be no need for one of us to do something to shake off the awkwardness. As time went by we naturally drifted close to each other until our shoulders were touching and then Joao took me by surprise as his arm gently slid around my waist as he looked into my eyes probably checking to see if there was any signs that I wanted him to back off. A smile crept onto both our faces as the tension we didn't even know was there seemed to be released when we let ourselves go beyond the barriers of just friends. 

"I know we haven't known each other for long but this just feels right having you by my side every night I've never been happier spending every night cooking dinner and watching movies I don't feel the need to be or go anywhere else" Joao admitted 

"I feel the exact same I was always looking for something more than just Lando's company but with you I don't need anything else I could spend hours just sitting here talking or simply doing nothing" I said 

"I'm so glad that you feel the same I've been worried about ruining things but then I thought if things were really meant to be then you'd feel the same way and clearly I made the right decision" he said 

"I was thinking the exact same thing to begin with it felt wrong to move on so quickly but then I realised I was just telling myself it was wrong but I'm glad you made the move as I think I'd always be too scared to do it" I said 

"Let's not be scared anymore then will you be my girlfriend?" He asked 

"I'd love that" I replied 

"Although let's keep things private for now as much as all those rumours were fun now that this is more then making our exes jealous I don't want everyone to know" I said 

"You read my mind the more private we can keep things the better I want you all it myself for now" Joao smiled 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Same as it ever was 4

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as neglect, bullying, manipulation, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Between your home life and work, you just can’t catch a break. Especially after you draw the ire of your boss.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen ft. Pete Brenner

Note: Oh my, we be sad gurls and bois.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

When Pete rumbles with snores, you move to the couch, hoping for what little sleep you can summon. You can't lay there beside him knowing what you know. You can't steam in the spite of knowing that he can sleep just soundly while sneaking around.

Two wrongs can never make right. You're not absolved. Far from it. You're mad. At him. At yourself. At life.

As you drift in and out, the apathy comes. You can't care. If you let yourself feel, you'll fall apart. You don't have that choice. Someone has to hold it together for the kids.

You get up first, like most mornings. You're restlessly impatient to get the day started if only to get away from that house. From the husband who isn't much of one.

Simone and Malik sit at the table eating cereal as you check your phone. You're on track so far. As if fate is throwing you a soft ball, the morning is going smoother than ever.

You get the kids packed and in the car. Every step is taken on habit alone. You walk them to the school doors and wish them a good day. Then you go back to your car and idle in silence. You're empty, you have nothing left.

You make yourself pull out and join the snailish roll of traffic through the school zone. Your drive to work is over before you know it as you stay locked in a trance. Before you just went through the motions, now it's like you're a ghost, floating aimlessly from one place to the next.

You enter the office, the walls a blur in your vision as you find your way blindly to your desk. Your head is pounding. Amid your early morning scramble, your desperation for distraction, to think of anything but reality, you hadn't even had a coffee. Your entire being throbs from the caffeine withdrawal.

You cup your forehead as you boot your computer. Eventually you'll get up and grab a cup of the weak break room brew. You lean heavily on the armrest of the chair and wiggle your mouse. 

For once, you're thankful to be at work. No fighting kids, no laundry, no scoundrel husband. But you're there and it's just as hard to live with yourself. 

"Morning, sunshine," Mr. Hansen's booming tone has you careening back in your chair as he comes to lean on the corner of your desk, "aren’t you bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Long night, huh? Husband finally loosen you up a bit."

You give him the daggers. That look that says 'enough'. Your motherly chagrin blazing at full force. He winks and laughs as he taps the end of your nose.

"You're real cute when you're pissed off, you know that?" He puts a hand on his hip, smoothing his index and thumb of his other across his mustache.

"Mr. Hansen," your voice is gravelly with dry fatigue, "is there something I can do for you?"

"Well, I can think of a certain wakemeup," he snickers, "but I'm thinking that you're not really into it. Still, you look like you could use it."

You huff and turn your chair to glare up at him. Can't he bother anyone else? He had his fun, he humiliated you, he made you hate yourself. So what else does he want?

"If you don't mind," you push your chair back and stand, "I'm going to get some coffee."

"Oh, sounds fun," he shoves away from the desk and trails after you, surprising you as he stretches and arm across your shoulders, "this company shit, it's garbage. How about I make you my own personal brew? I got a keurig in my office, just got some French Vanilla–"

"No thank you," you grumble and pull away from him.

You enter the kitchen first as he continues his incessant pursuit. He likes Malik when he wants to tell you about his legoworld. You go to the machine and find the carafe empty. You rinse it and fill the tank.

"You're mad about yesterday," he says as he leans on the counter, "if you're into snuggling, you coulda stuck around–"

"No," you growl as you measure out the coffee grounds.

"I let you go take care of the crotch goblin so I thought we'd be square–"

"Mr. Hansen, it's not you," you close the lid and flip the switch, "really."

"Ah, got it, it's the hubby. He's not taking care of his marital duties, huh?"

"Please, sir, it's not… it's not that," you falter as the lie sticks on your tongue. "Tired, need coffee."

"You look like you need sleep," he shifts closer as you stare at the slow trickle of coffee, "tell you what," he lowers his voice, "you come in my office, give me a good tug and I'll let you sleep in a meeting room. How's that? I'll make sure you get your eight hours."

You open the cupboard, taking out your mug from the bunch of mismatched porcelain, and set it on the counter. You can't even look at him. Not only because he repulses you but he reminds you of how pathetic you truly are.

"I'm good," you insist, "thank you, sir."

He scoffs, "I'm giving you something you're not getting elsewhere. Action and sleep," he runs his knuckles up your sleeve, "beggars can't be choosers, can they?"

You look at him. You're so fucking exhausted that your eyes are too dry to eke out a single tear. It's the only thing keeping you from tipping over the edge.

He smirks and looks at your blouse, reaching to pinch one of the front buttons, "look at that, all put together."

You glance down at the misaligned buttons. You don't even care. You're a mess. You're old and used up and unwanted. Even he only wants to get off, it doesn't matter who does it.  At the end of the day, he'll be just as happy to do it himself.

You're speechless. It's nothing like shock. It's exasperation. Are all men really like this? Is this what Pete does? Is she some girl at the company?

"Forget it," you take your empty mug and spin in your low orthotics.

You stride out and stumble to your desk. You can do this. You just have to get through the day. And then what?

Get the kids, go home, cook dinner, do homework, bath time, bed for them, clean the endless mess…

Tomorrow? The same thing, over and over, until what? Until when? When do you admit defeat?

Hansen struts out of the breakroom. You look up as you see him sipping from a mug; your mug. He meets your gaze as he drinks deeper and passes by.

You wonder the same thing about him; when will he give up? 

🗄️

You feel yourself slumping lower and lower. Your eyelids are scratchy and burning as you fight to keep them open. You cup your chin in your hand, elbow planted on your desk as the emails blur before you. You can do this… 

In a minute, you’ll get up and get a coffee, undisturbed, and really start working. You won’t fall asleep. How could you? Right here in your office chair. On the best nights, you can barely sleep in your own bed. Lately, it’s only been bad nights.

Once you find the energy, you’ll get up. You swear you will. It’s all you have to look forward to. That cup of coffee. You can smell it. You know it’s burnt by now, stale and bitter, but your stomach growls for it.

A few more minutes.

You hear snorts, strange noises that seem to rumble from within you. The clacking of keys and soft clicks continue, almost forming a rhythm as your screen ripples to bars of colours. You feel a weight over you and a sudden shift.

You hit the floor, bouncing on your ass as your seat hits your shoulder. You look up as you awake, only realising then that you dozed off. You blink at your coworkers before focusing on the figure glaring down at you. Mr. Hansen has a hand in his pocket and a foot on the bottom of your chair. Shit.

“Working hard,” he muses tritely.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stutter, disoriented. You can’t believe you fell asleep. You hope this is just a dream, if so. “I… I didn’t–”

“Get up,” he demands.

You scramble to get to your feet. You reach for the chair and he kicks it further away. You’re overly aware of your audience. No one will look directly at you in fear that they might draw Hansen’s attention, but it’s obvious by the lack of typing that they are very aware of the scene.

“I’m very sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to. I was– I’ll stay awake. You don’t have to worry.”

“Go home,” he says curtly.

“Home? No, I can make it through the day. It was a mistake.”

“Go. Home.” He repeats pointedly, “this isn’t a hotel.”

“Please,” you murmur, “please, Mr. Hansen,” you clutch your hands together, trying not to speak too loud, embarrassed as your voice cracks, “I–”

“Don’t make me call security,” he warns as he steps back on one heel, his posture victorious. He arches a brow in challenge. You’re certain he’d love to see that, you dragged out like an intruder. “Come back Monday, well-rested, and HR will deal with your disciplinary report.”

“What?” You gulp. In all your time there, you’d never been written up. Not once.

“Keep digging that hole.”

“Okay, okay,” you go to your desk and open the drawer to pull your bag out. You hook it on your shoulder and turn around, nearing him as you reach for the coat hung on the back of your chair. He watches you with a smug smirk, “I’ll be back Monday.”

“We’ll see.”

His ominous words put you on edge. You recoil and stare at him. What does he mean by that? You’re not stupid enough to ask. You put your head down and march out, burning with embarrassment as you pass your rapt audience.

“Hey,” Hansen claps his hands, “back to work.”

🗄️

You barely make it home. You set an alarm as you get in the front door and collapse on the couch. You don’t care that it’s lumpy and uncomfortable, you don’t care about anything. You forget all your worries for the blackness that clogs your mind.

As quickly as you close your eyes, your ringer goes off. You wake with a groan and roll over, shoulders cramped and stiff as you reach for your phone. Two o’clock already. Your head pulses with the dregs of fatigue. You feel marginally better.

You fill a travel mug and head out to pick up the kids. Along the way, you can’t help but shrink behind the wheel as the morning pricks in your mind. You don’t expect things to go well on Monday.

You pass a Burger King and slow down. You don’t have the money for a Whopper. No, that’s not what you’re thinking. It’s not spending you’re planning on.

You pull in and get out. You enter and approach the counter, sheepish as a twentysomething greets you from the other side.  You smile as you come forward.

“How can I help you ma’am?” He asks, hands on the side of the till.

“Oh, uh, I was… I was looking for an application,” you eke out. “For a job.”

He nods, you see the surprise flick in his lashes, “oh, well, we don’t have physical applications anymore but…” he reaches over to a stack of small flyers beside the till, “if you scan this QR code it will take you right to careers page.”

“Um, right, yeah, makes sense,” you take the slip as he offers it, “thank you.”

“You lookin’ to order?” He prompts with a strained smile.

“No, sorry, I gotta go get my kids,” you fold the flier and turn away, “have a good one.”

You head back to your car. You drop into the driver seat and curse. Fuck, your hips are killing you. You don’t imagine doing weekends standing behind a till will do much for that but you don’t have much of a choice. Even with the second job, you doubt you’ll be able to pay for the babysitter to cover it. What a stupid idea.

You shove the flier into your purse and back out from between the lines. You check the time as you set out to the school. You arrive just as the bell rings and the kids are let out into the yard. 

You find Malik with the other grade ones as Simone seeks you out on her own, too cool to hang around with the other grade sixes. She can be a bit of a loner but not in a sad way. She can intimidate even you.

“Hey, how was school?” You ask as you take them to the car, “did you do anything fun?”

Malik tells you about the popsicle stick houses they made as you buckle him into his car seat and Simone does up her seat belt on her own. You nod and smile, humouring your son’s slightly lisping story.

“What about you, Simone?” You ask as you look over at her.

“I just read. I’m almost done number four,” she shows the cover of her latest fantasy series, “but they wouldn’t let me stay in the library during recess.”

“Good, you need the fresh air,” you tease, “speaking of, I was thinking we could go for a hike this weekend. How does that sound?”

“A hike?” She grimaces, “is dad coming?”

“Err, we’ll see,” you shrug, “I spend all day in the office, I’d like to get out before the winter gets here.”

“I’ll go if dad does,” Simone opens her book, “it won’t be any fun without him.”

“Daddy, daddy,” Malik claps his hands, “I love daddy!”

“I’ll ask him,” you nod and keep a frown from tugging at your lips. 

You stand straight and gently close the back door. You round to the driver’s door and get it, quiet as you turn the engine. You’re not even good enough for your own kids.

[utilitycaster]

What is the d20 meltdown about? 👀 If you don't mind getting into it

I literally don't know other than vague shit because I'm semi-avoiding spoilers. I'm making this nonrebloggable because we're in pure speculation country.

From what I have gathered, people are mad because I think the Bad Kids kill the Rat Grinders (another adventuring group that's been set up as their bitter, jealous rivals from the start) and they want...redemption or some shit? This is absurd to me like this party was set up as The Enemy from the start.

I am 4 episodes behind so I can't speak to this, and also I admittedly have a rather low opinion of the D20 fandom at large for a number of reasons despite being a big fan of D20 shows, but: I just by chance watched the scene that I would say counts as a point of no return for at least some the Rat Grinders. Like, actually some of the most villainous shit I've seen on this show amplified by how petty and small and purely fueled by jealousy the motivation is.

My guess as to why the D20 fandom is, per whispers on the wind/texting my brother who is caught up/talking to friends not avoiding spoilers, having a meltdown about it is because people have this idea of Brennan Lee Mulligan always making capitalism the BBEG, or occasionally religion or politics.

That is untrue. He does hate capitalism, and that is a theme in the (real-world-ish set) Unsleeping City, but ultimately the thing Brennan sees as the villain is a willingness to hurt, exploit, and dehumanize others for your own goals and benefit. Capitalism and religious corruption are two major examples of this, but in the end, the worst thing you can do is kill people out of a desire for power, or attention, or spite. What Brennan truly hates is what we on Tumblr call a tar pit.

Now. My much more pointed analysis? Kipperlily (and presumably the other Rat Grinders) are deeply entitled people jealous of the Bad Kids, who aren't as academically strong at times but who have leveled up through saving the world at least three times. How many people does killing rats so much that you hit the high levels of D&D save? or even help? Like congrats, you're level 14 from killing rats real good. These guys stopped the fucking Night Yorb. Of course they get the fame and glory, you entitled, self-absorbed little brats. Do you not understand how this fucking works? This is underscored by the fact that they've definitely murdered at least one of their own and almost certainly two (and a teacher to boot) at least in part to get at the Bad Kids.

And herein lies my feeling as to why the D20 fandom is really melting down. Because the loudest and most unpleasant contingent (which is probably why the server is, ultimately, shutting down all discussion channels) have always struck me as entitled self-absorbed little brats who demand precisely what they want when they want it (and also have the literary analysis skills on par with the 3/4ths of a stick of Monterey Jack cheese currently in my fridge) and they're seeing, in real time, that in this story, they're the villain.

But: I haven't seen the next 4 episodes and I could be getting the details of the plot wrong (not the first 15 episodes though, and I do not think the Rat Grinders are going to make the world's best Heel-Face turn in 3-4 episodes, and at this point they're so clearly the villains that to deny it is to admit truly earth-shattering levels of stupidity) and so: nonrebloggable. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend though on both the show and the hot goss, and if I'm right this will become rebloggable.

ETA: I am caught up making this rebloggable but I'm actually more confused, because as my posts indicated this was not even like, edgy. Like I assumed maybe there was a twist where the Rat Grinders appeared to regret their actions or something but failed to do anything about it, making this a little bittersweet? but no there literally was nothing, they went into the final battle still like hell yeah we're going to be the living worst.

[velvetvexations]

So, like, what I got from this episode is primarily that Kipperlilly Copperkettle has never done anything wrong in her life.

Okay, let me rephrase that.

Yes, she's the villain doing villainous things that she shouldn't. But "she's jealous of tragic backstories" is not as absurd as it would be in the real world because, like, that is actually how Spyre works. Everyone laughs at "oh she's mad she's an NPC" but actually literally think about what that would be like, especially when you go to a school where the goal is to be a main character. It would be infuriating to constantly have the world revolve around a cast that does not include you.

Like, everyone knows how annoying it is when someone you play D&D with has Main Character Syndrome. Now imagine if that were real life and their MCS was cosmically vindicated over and over. I was slightly annoyed with how much stuff this season happened to connect to the Bad Kids this season, but now it seems like either that was all intentional or an incredibly thematic coincidence. Like, imagine that MCS scenario and even when you try to kill them you can't help but accidentally trip into a bunch of their bullshit. It's truly impossible to even begin to understand how the pressure of that situation would wear on someone's sanity because the real world simply doesn't work like that.

Also, let's be clear about something: She is 100% unironically completely factually correct about Kristen's campaign. She started it literally just to spite Kipperlilly. Because she had a slightly off-putting energy during their first meeting. In which Kristen and the others said all this and how much they disliked her right in front of her like she wasn't even there. Kristen gave a speech to a steel mill and got her head clipped by a buzzsaw for the sake of bullying Kipperlilly long before they had any reason to suspect she was up to something.

So I feel vindicated in Kipperlilly having a good reason for slipping off the slippery slope and that she has a legitimate grievance. And I'd say, "but she shouldn't be mad at the Bad Kids for it", but again, they were legitimately horrible to her so even if you shouldn't respond to being rude with murder there's hardly much incentive to not be mad at them personally in the course of raging against the universe being structured around them.

But most people will just see it as "she's mad she's boring" so I, like the mythological Cassandra, will continue to be an unheeded prophet.

[eternamarea]

: PHONE CALL AWAY, HEARTACHE AWAKE. giselle x fm!reader

synopsis. in which aeri is forgiven but not forgotten. now playing : glue song by beabadoobee — wc. 753

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏TOOTH-ROTTING sweetness attempted to fill the ambience as my hands gripped onto her shirt in a fit of anger, "ri... you can't leave me like this," it left so desperate, full of remorse and guilt as soon as those words left my mouth.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"it's alright, i'll be back during summer," she attempts to reassure.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"ri, you're leaving for korea! how is this gonna 'be alright'?" i fight back

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"listen... it's my dream, y'know, to be an idol. please, just let go... people are watching."

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏a heartache awakens inside myself, this is all that i was, isn't it? a pretty girlfriend for my girlfriend to embarrass herself with.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏i let go of her shirt and a handful of spiteful words leave my mouth. i don't mean them, of course, and i also don't mean to leave her just like that, stranded at the airport.

🎬 — flashback end ,,

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏SUCH MEMORY repeats itself inside my head, we never officially broke up, but she must think we did. our few lasting mutual friends have told me about her night life and how oh-so close she is with this jimin girl.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏i feel delusional, clinging onto something from 4 years back. i stand up from the bed, groggy.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏maybe everyone was right about her. maybe i should’ve believed everyone about how much of a wreck uchinaga would leave me as. i had given her my all, but she was unable to reciprocate.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"i'm a loser", i thought to myself. it had been many years of attempting to get over her, but nothing worked. it took me a lot to "forgive her", though i still long for her. it was almost as tragic as romeo and juliet, except neither of us had died even though it felt as if i had.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏grins were exchanged between me and my reflection in the mirror. was i going insane? i'd never know for sure, until all that's left of her is not the pictures frames in the living room nor the box full her letters from the first few months she was in korea. what's left of her should be the feeling of appreciation i have always had for her, from within, i could feel her warmth, but now, it is just a distant memory.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏as though i were a fish out of water, i choked on the few tears that would not leak, would not trail down my pajamas shirt and drive me mad once more.

🎬 — timeskip ,,

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏THOUGH I cannot hear her, i can visualize her in my mind. visualize her running across the stage, oh-so happy as her dream was fulfilled, as though i weren't a collector of those silly little glossy, cardboard cards with her face on them.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏i felt like i was rotting away, specially when i could've sworn i'd seen her. walking about, i must have been insane to follow the shadow of was supposedly her. except, it really was her.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏there she was, by the sumida river, with whom i could pinpoint as yu jimin. heartbreak awoke inside my chest once more, for i knew this whole time she was just a phone call away.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏she looked as happy as she did in my imagination, full of no guilt, and only herself. it hurt me though i should be happy. i just stared and stared as though i was a fan. the jimin girl pointed at me and told aeri something inaudible from the distance i was at.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏"i know her," aeri yelled, motioning for me to come over. i shot a soft smile, but jimin clinged the uchinaga's arm protectively. my heartbeat quickened as though i were watching my past self and aeri on a date.

͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏once and for all, i had to settle this. therefore for the first time in my life, i rejected her. i rejected uchinaga aeri by walking away into the midst of the buzzing city.

[clearwillow]

So I just saw the post you reblogged about A.I on Tumblr and I'm not sure what to think. I want to get back into post my Inuyasha art but now I'm worried about this whole ordeal. On the one hand I don't want to give up making and sharing my art w/ others (esp. Since I haven't in a while), but now I'm scared about it being stolen and other artists I love giving up posting. This whole debate with A.I has me so confused and scared and I really don't know whats going on. I'm also curious about what you will do if this deal goes through. Do you plan on using Glaze or something similar?

Come sit with me, anon cause to be frank, I'm trying to take that particular post with a grain of salt. I hope it's wrong, because it wasn't long ago we were hit with "oh my god tumblr is closing where is everyone going" and we're still here. But I won't lie, it pisses me off greatly that it's even a possibility.

I completely understand, and I say - go ahead and post it. Don't give up on art because a bunch of fuck bois with no talent in their short hairs decide that generative technology is the way to go. I honestly hope that it crashes and burns in the next couple years, if not sooner. It had potential before fat old men in suits decided that they had to have more money than they know what to do with. I'm not quitting, because it's my income. It's my joy. I am also fueled by spite, because if I wasn't I wouldn't be here right now.

Art getting stolen is always going to be a thing to worry about, even before AI unfortunately. People will repost without credit and still take credit when that post gets more traction. Create a watermark and be a menace to the reposters, I say. There's Glaze, like you mentioned, and Nightshade. I've heard you have to do them in that order for it to be effective.

You can also search haveIbeentrained.com to see if your work has been picked up and request for it to be pulled from the databases. I've found three more of mine this evening. One was one of my mother's paintings.

I've already erased 15 years of work off the internet when I deleted my deviantart gallery at the end of 2022. Some of that work is so old it was never shared anywhere else. I may not even have that work anymore. If the deal were to go through, I'm not deleting my blog. It's been active since 2012; there's no way I could go through and find every art post and delete it to repost glazed/nightshade versions. It won't affect the reblogs. I haven't personally tried Glazing anything yet because I'm not sure if it'd even be effective with my style, but it's something to try when time allows.

I'm gonna say it again - don't give up on your art. Whether you're doing it as a career (I dare someone say art is a sidehustle, this is not MLM and I am not some 2-bit influencer) or because it is something you just enjoy doing for the hell of it, you should continue. I've seen people give up entirely on art in the last year, and it makes me mad. If art is something you want to do, you shouldn't let anyone make you feel like you can't.

And if you need someone to rally behind you and cheer you on, you've got me in your corner 💕 Hell, feel free to tag me in some of your art, if you'd like!

[lawluaficionado]

HIII I just want to say I really love your Lawlu baby. It brings me so much joy and I read it 6 time already haha. Do you have more ideas for this amazing AU? Thanks you :D

I have no idea when this is from, I'm sorry!!

Thank you so much for reading and liking my AU!

==========

~Lawlu Baby Things~

Well, they've since been named Cora and Ace.

Cora being older than Ace meant a few things. One, he had to make sure the dummy didn't get hurt. Two, he needed to share his food with him sometimes. Three, and he had to share his parents.

That was lotsa responsibility! He falls a lot! He doesn't want to share his food, especially the yummy meat! And, he wants attention too!

His daddy had said he was cranky because he had a temperature. And Cora thinks it's true, because his daddy is a doctor that fixes some people. His other papa was holding him while they sat on the rocking chair. "Cora, we can't be getting sick now, we have an adventure to go on tomorrow!"

"Gotta take Ace too?" he mumbles.

His daddy laughs, "Yes. Don't be so mad a him, it was an accident."

"He sneezed on me, his fault I have boogers now," he glares at his parents, but especially hard at the sleeping one-year-old in his dad's arms.

"You know, he gets that anger and spritefullness from you," his papa laughs, quite loudly too.

"It's spitefulness, Luffy."

=-=-=-=-=-=

Sanji loves babysitting his godsons, he does...truly. But when he needs to take care of them AND be in the same room as Zoro...well he'd rather eat unseasoned food.

"Could you please help me entertain them, I'm trying to cook."

"But this is entertaining," Zoro grins.

Ace is sitting on the counter trying to taste each and every ingrediant, including the raw eggs! No smacking of hands deters that one, Sanji just gets smacked right back. Cora has been sneaking candy into his mouth, most likely going to get sick of it and ruin his appetite. Okay that was a lie, kid can eat. They're not half of Luffy for nothing.

"Why are you even here?" Sanji glowers.

"Law said you'd be cooking, so thought I might join you. Free meal and all," Zoro shrugs.

"Fib! Fib!" Ace yells. "Papa said no fibbing!"

Zoro visibly redddens, "Did Luffy also tell you that kids that say fib, get bullied?!"

"No, but daddy did say you always stare at Uncle Sanji's butt. And that you two would probably get married before we get another baby sibling," Cora states.

"Oh that does it, both of you go play outside!" Zoro chases after the two boys, managing to wrangle up Ace just before running after Cora.

Sanji is left there speechless, and blushing. It is the first and only time he's ever burned a meal in over a decade.

=-=-=-=-=-=

"Aunty Robin, what is the quickest way to muder someone?" Ace asks in his most polite and respectful manner.

"Well, I am a visual learner, how do you grasp your knowledge better?" She smiles at her two nephews. They are sharing some tea and biscuits out on her patio listening to the thundering rain.

"Pictures are good," Cora answers and his brother nods.

"Now why would my two sweetest nephews need this information?"

"Papa is mad that this one lady at daddy's work is giving him all the bad work days. We don't get to see him no more," Ace's demeanor shifts to a rather pathetic gloomy appearance.

"Oh dear, that does constitute murder," Robin sympathizes.

"We thought so too!" Cora grumbles. "Can you help us? We're cute, we'll be out of Impel Down in no time!"

=-=-=-=-=-=

Law was lying on his stomach, head sideways on his arms as his youngest was coloring in his tattoos. Definitely a habit he learned from Luffy.

Cora and said husband were baking cookies as he and Ace watched a documentary on the most ridiculus crimes commited. Luffy said he knows the person who holds most of those spots. How he knows a ridiculous clown, he won't even ask.

"Dad,' Ace smacks his back to get his attention.

"What baby," Law turns a little to see him.

"You need more tattoos. I colored them all already."

"Why don't we just get you some tattoos?" The words are out of his mouth before he realizes what he'd done.

But Luffy heard it and started laughing his ass off, "Good luck!"

Yup, his boys were about to go crazy for removable tattoos.

[mrultra100]

Quick lil' note to bring up before Pride Month

Just because Trump has been finally found guilty due to his hush-money felon, that doesn't mean he's fully out of the game entirely. While he himself can't vote, he's still gonna run for the elections this fall.

As brought up by @headspace-hotel, along with a post made by @dappercritter, Trump plans to do alot of awful things with his Project 2025 thing should he somehow win. That includes things like taking away the rights of the LGBQ+ community, women, blacks, etc, revert alot of environmental treaties and the like, get rid of abortion and have force women who are r@ped to have their r@pists' babies, resume the use of nuclear weapons, and other horrible things. This'll affect other countries on a negative scale too.

Now, regarding the people who are mad at Biden for siding with literal terrorists on a genocide, I know you are all upset by this, but keep this in mind.

Trump not only wants to endorse Israel, but also wants them to "finish the job". And that goes for any and all Republicans that side with him.

I know it all sucks with Biden, but given that we all have a few months left before the elections. let me make a few things clear.

I do not support Biden in any way. He, however, is our only opition that doesn't result in fascism taking over our country. As unfortunate as it sounds, this is the reality of it all

Again, Trump and the far right wants to support Israel with their ongoing genocide with twice the spite

A third party isn't really gonna help much for those who don't wanna vote for both Trump or Biden

Calling Biden out on his actions and not voting for Trump are two things that can and should coexist.

I have plenty of friends in the LGBQ+ community that I don't wanna see harmed by Project 2025

Does it suck that we're in a lesser of two evils situation? Yes, it most certainly does. But I'm begging you all

PLEASE VOTE FOR BLUE AND SHARE THIS AROUND.

If we want the good things in the country for years to come, along with a chance to continue with helping Palestine, please vote for Biden. He's a bad president, but only voting for him just to keep Trump and his ghouls out is a very valid reason to do so if you wanna keep not only America, but also the world at large from falling into a even worse hellhole than what we're in now. Nobody ever said that this game was fair, but you still have the power to help prevent the overgrown Oompa Loompa and his cronies from ever getting back into office. For those who want to help keep Pride. Month a thing and to help keep the LGBQ+ community here in the states safe, y’all need to grit your teeth and pick Biden. It’ll basically be the end of America as we know it if Trump wins again.

Fuck Trump.

Fuck MAGA.

Fuck Israel.

Fuck fascism.

Please spread this around to help stop Project 2025 from happening. Palestine still matters, but so does everyone in the U.S. and other place being harmed. With your support, we can finally have a chance to be done with this rotten Cheeto and his cult for good.