#i can't believe type actually did it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goldensunset · 1 year ago

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i looooove pokémon npcs whose team members subtly imply something about them that's never touched upon in the story or at least never outright said. i love villains having friendship evos. i love trainers who commit hard to one aesthetic or vibe with their team (beyond simply sharing a type) and i love it even better when there's one random exception especially if that's their ace. i love when later down the line someone boxes the cute fun soft baby pokémon they used to have in favor of a seemingly stronger or scarier one to show that they're getting serious. i love when they have a pokémon that's difficult to get and raises lots of questions about them. i love it when the lore behind a pokémon fits the character to a T and i love it even better when it appears to contradict them. give me the story-gameplay harmony but better yet give me what appears to be story-gameplay dissonance but might actually have implications if we're willing to dive deep into it

#to me this is more important than actually making the team hard to beat #but it's amazing if it is #as a new fan i only know so many examples of this myself but i would love to hear more from people who know more #volo and cyrus having friendship evos...#in particular volo having a rare togekiss which apparently only reveals itself in times of peace... lol #also volo/cynthia having spiritomb. i firmly believe cynthia inherited that same pokémon from him #but like volo where did YOU get that #i've heard oleana's team is mostly glamorous ladylike pokémon but her ace is her beloved garbodor #yessss that's what i'm talking about!!!#kieran boxes his furret and suddenly pulls out a scary freak like shiftry #also the evolution of polywag into poliwrath #i've heard hop does something similar with getting rid of his wooloo but i can't verify #as another small note: love when the type of pokéball they have their team in matters #like all of team star having a different type of ball that suits them #or sada/turo exclusively having master balls #y'all what is up...#pokémon

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spaceratprodigy · 9 months ago

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🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤

I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer 💖💕

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main #so much has happened in these past 10 years #I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future #but I did and I do #I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible #I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return #I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself #I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better #I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like #I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of #I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over #I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder #I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive #and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person #I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore #I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly #he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do #god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me #you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you #it's always been you #I fucking love you #more than anything in this universe and the next #forever and always #my art #glad I listened to my first tag lmao

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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago

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#this one's like a fucking mystery. who's that pokémon?? what pokémon is this?? you can't fucking tell unless you open the cut or read below #where i tag what pokémon it is. i think i'm gonna put this one's tags above the actual name of the pokémon just to throw y'all for a loop #because this one? i don't even KNOW what counts as front-facing. i'm ASSUMING it's the top one?? but the prey eyes are just #unbelievable so i included that one under the cut. i don't even know if i can consider that “prey eyes” at this point. what is this thing??#what's the thing protruding?? a mouth?? it doesn't lend itself to making it look any more like a moon! it just— it just protrudes!!#i really just don't understand. what or why this pokémon is or exists. what type is it? pure psychic?#nnnNNAURP rock/psychic. can't believe i forgot about the rock typing considering the way that guy with the solrock in swsh #raid battles used it. whatever i think i've successfully revealed what pokémon this is by now #lunatone #and yes‚ i know now that zangoose walks on all fours in pmd. THANK YOU!!! FOR TELLING ME. EVERYONE ON TUMBLR #i got it when the first person told me. i looked them up. i saw them. with my eyes. i feel like i've talked about pmd enough in these tags #and in asks that i've answered that you all should know how much of a pmd fan i am by now but i guess it's GOOD TO CONFIRM #perhaps no one really does read these tags. unless they have an opportunity to correct me. lasered in on that #i'm not like mad i'm just like WOW everyone told me. that is SO many people telling me after the first one did and i know SO hard #anyway. i'm gonna go remove these tags from the dusclops post. pphhhheew

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agentark · 7 months ago

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I love S Dorran so much ugh

The way they're the scholar of the group, but not a skeptic??? They're willing to entertain more "fantastical" explanations for what's going on in Fernweh and that's very cool of them

#and also hot of them #who said that #S could've heard about the journal and thought abt your grandpa and been like 'sounds like carbon monoxide' but NO #you'll hear no 'well actually' from S (unless you're R (funniest duo award I love them))#that line where R insults the mona lisa and S is like 'it's priceless???' makes me laugh every time #anyway!!! what im trying to say is that the scholar trope is so often played out where the character tries to find--#--an explanation that adheres to the laws of science but S is like 'so guess what I found out from your grandpa's weird book'#S is more of a Fox Mulder type than a Velma Dinkley #fernweh saga #found this in my drafts can't believe I never posted it #more love for S is always good #they really grabbed my attention in this last playthrough I did; they're so calming I just want to curl up with them #doesn't help that I just read a Silas writing on patreon that made me swoon

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unproduciblesmackdown · 16 days ago

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Winston in the Billions

(that not only did billions never write a moment like this, & would never have done so, but doesn't think such a moment would exist)

#can't believe joe ''my main characters are like side characters from elsewhere; my side characters are Could-Be main characters'' iconis #whose writing approach also involves always finding ways to relate to / sympathize with / write about himself in part via characters #which'll sure help dehumanizationproof material if you're thus never going Could Never Be Me In The Least; refreshingly; relievingly #& re: will ''nobody is so understanding of & excited by all the facets of me as a performer like joe iconis'' roland vs tfw billions #going woww noticed you're sooo talented & your performances are so good. only gonna write you More in a quantitative sense ha ha #also just of interest here re: the angle of being audience members actually new to bmc & not knowing of mitb first / bmc Through that lol #i don't think i did but i ofc believe i knew Of the song quite quickly. showing up Through will roland; don't remember first hearing mitb #sure didn't happen to be in the original in person trt audiences #winston billions #bmc #joe iconis #mitb type moments absolutely exist in billions for Winners; in the way billions would ever do them. lingering; a solo moment for drama #but again it's not even uninterested in doing that for Losers it's: no they don't have these. if/when they do it it's not Real like this.#which is extended to like ''if/when Losers have thoughts & feelings (inner world) (personhood) it's not Real like it is with winners''#also ofc shoutout forever to jeremy the main character would-be side character so Thinking of himself as a tertiary character #he yknow sings as much & all during the first number #um JOE ICONIS you had this role claim they are not the one that the story's about BUT IT'S THE MAIN CHARACTER?#but it's during a LINGERING MOMENT with the SPOTLIGHT as THE STORY CLEARLY CENTERS ON HIM??#did you think we wouldn't REALIZE. do YOU not realize your ERROR. ZERO STARS & DERISIVE SCOFF

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princekirijo · 1 year ago

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Finally graduated haha let's go 🥹

#im scheduling this when the ceremony is over just cause #but yeah um wow. can't believe it actually #desperately trying not to cry while typing this haha thing hasn't even started #but i think this is the first time in a while i genuinely feel proud of myself. like fuck me i did it #4 years was a wild ride but here i am!! and yeah im scared about the future but rn im just here with my paper #i also realized that yeah ive been on Tumblr as long as ive been in uni #which is crazy can't believe ive been on here for 4 years (roughly)#but for all the shit that i dislike about this site and as much as it drives me nuts #i do wanna say ive met some wonderful people on here! ive made some friends 🥹#and yeah i haven't kept up with all of them something im so so guilty about #but i wouldn't be where i am without this blog like unironically #so yeah thank you gay people in my phone you've helped me a lot. more than i care to admit #hope y'all have a great day <33 #thanks for reading my sappy ass tags on Tumblr 😅

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bugsbenefit · 10 months ago

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scary that there's still Will bowlcut haters around. like... that's his core character design, it looks nice too. sorry to all the different hairstyle enjoyers out there but Will without a bowlcut simply wouldn't be Will to me. that's the side effect of them doubling down on that one single hairstyle for 8 years. they can style it different or make it messier sure, but he needs Some version of a bowlcut otherwise who is that

#Duffers did it to themselves #if they'd change the haircut Now i'll call the s5 hair department a flop no hesitation #not because it would look bad but simply because That's Not My Will that's just noah schnapp with a wig #also unrelated side tangent ik this is just about silly hcs but anytime i talk about Will's hair i get annoyed about how the #bowlcut became the minion meme equivalent of the fandom #i simply refuse to believe people actually hate bowlcuts that much that has to be some kind of moist phenomenon #i've never in my life seen someone irl make fun of bowlcuts or personally even noticed one as 'strange'#but go online and there's apparently consensus that bowlcuts are cringe or something? lmao?#you can probably imagine how surprised i was when i found the st fandom for the first time and everyone just kept talking about Will's hair #when it's literally a normal ass haircut #and meanwhile no one realized that Mike also had a bowlcut for 3 seasons. i swear 'Will bowlcut lmaoo' just became a meme #i'm convinced half of these people don't even know what a bowlcut looks like since they apparently can't recognize one #side tangent over this had nothing to do with what people are talking about actually 😭#my furstration about the way a fucking haircut out of all things became the funny stinger of the show apparently never goes away #and comes back out any time i type the word hair.... oh well #ignore the tags i was having a moment (flashback having nothing to say after a show besides 'the hairrr 😭')

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girlivealwaysbean · 2 months ago

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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg

#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with #like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks #but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do #and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration #and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just #go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission #and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na #and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta #style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine #you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents #im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless #but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just #doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial #stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the #point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc #but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time #and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally #having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn #checking my fever sote jaagte #like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being #like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still #idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love #not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional #and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen #horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she #wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay #moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld

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izzyspussy · 2 months ago

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why are they laughing at him as he gets straight up killed??? he doesn't deserve this! he's a sweet kid at heart! he literally just needs one (1) real friend!!

#jack facts #willow and xander and tara all got that exact type of chance and you could argue the same is true for cordelia and anya!#and why don't we just not even start in on angel #like jonathan went from attempted suicide to so grateful for one moment of attention he created a whole award to give about it #to IN ONE YEAR becoming so powerful a witch he seamlessly altered the perception of the entire population of the world #without any adverse effects to himself and only the one (1) flaw that is inherent to the spell he used #to all but instantly giving up that power when he realized it posed danger (that he understood) to people #to feeling genuine remorse for doing that even tho he needed it explained to him why they were so upset #and making every apparent effort to learn that with humility and offer whatever wisdom he could in return #to... this.#like why tf didn't anybody say hey man are you doing alright after being suicidal?#hey man the spell you did was wrong but that doesn't mean you can't do magic anymore why don't we meet up sometimes and study together #or better yet he could have mcfuckin joined the coven god damn #like they went from witch being a relatively gender neutral combo of innate talent and learned skill in early seasons #to now we're supposed to forget the boy willow and amy did spells with in hs + the fact that giles himself was in an all male coven #and even believe that only Special Girls like willow and tara can do any significant amount of real magic at all #why on earth is willow the biggest witch of ever and started out floating pencils and then having a whole plotline #about learning to use her power ethically and control herself and practice temperance and etc #AND anya gets to be a good guy even though she has to be taught about ethics and consent and compassion and all that too #but jonathan's thing is being soul crushingly lonely and having no self esteem but being incredibly sweet once given the time of day #and is instead relegated to two bit loser villain?#why because he's the Actually Uncool type of unpopular instead of the Too Smart And Nice To Be Popular type of unpopular?#makes me sick he literally just needs a friend. just one genuine friend who cares about him personally. that's all.#and it's not like they're doing a ''this is what happens to vulnerable kids when no one cares about them!'' thing which would be different #no they're just like lol he's unpopular like our protags but he's also short with a nasally voice! which means he's bad!#once again i swearrrrr i'm not doing armchair psych on a creator based on the content of their work #please i swearrrrrrrrrrrr i'm not doing that i prommy i know it doesn't work that wayyy i knowwwww #don't worry about ittt i'm so totally definitely not doing that at allllll #anyway

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humanmorph · 1 year ago

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every few months I go "maybe I DO want to play ttrpgs" and then usually nothing happens because I get too nervous and also realize that I don't care for roleplaying (you know. ttRPg)

#But is it a 'I genuinely don't enjoy this' or a 'I'm bad at this so it's stressful but could be fun'? I genuinely don't know.#I tend to think it's more of the first because of the way I'm with ocs too (dgaf about them)#but it's like... Maybe if you have people to bounce off of...#my friends are trying to get me to play dnd with them and I 1) don't want to play dnd #and 2) it might be harder to try roleplaying with people I know well then ones I don't & half of probably won't interact with much again?#I mean there's up- & downsides to both...#I can't believe I'm thinking about this again .#I'd actually love to try like. A letter type game that's just writing back&forth I read something like that a mutual+their friend did once #Writing is still hard and I'm not good at it but it's easier than coming up with something on the spot! It's the improvisation of it all 😓#That game was about a mech & pilot. it was cool. Sighs..........#rosa talk

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konshokoentaiko · 4 months ago

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i always thought i was a very typical enemies to lovers girlie but i think i just realized my actual taste in ships is the dynamic where the two are supposedly equal rivals/enemies who represent diametrically opposed themes (for the Aesthetic), but in actuality it’s just one of them yanking the other around on a chain while the other whines and rages and protests and ultimately makes an absolute spectacle of themselves

so uhhh. how did THAT happen and when and why

#L and light fit this dynamic bc my mental model of their conversations is like this #L shoots light a question mostly meant to fuck with him and it works bc light instantly starts running in around in circles in his brain #he’s like a circus performer juggling ten rings on a tightrope. obsessively constructing his answer based on what he imagines he looks like #in L's eyes. he's like... a peacock strutting around with his feathers out or some shit. so easily provoked. he's doing this to himself!!!#this is not even mentioning that L had light on a literal leash (that's what im calling the chain.) but anyways #i started shipping them in yotsuba arc and it was the moment where light did a thing in hunting down yotsuba and L was like hmm. good boy.#(me: having visions of light's brain shorting out in this moment (bc the praise kink shit is so real and personal to me))#but then he turns it into another test: you're so good you could replace me actually. and then light just calls him on it in front of the #whole task force with this big dramatic speech like he'd reached into L's brain and pulled the thoughts directly from his head #light is constantly performing at L's whims and he hates it ofc. he's under investigation; why wouldn't he? but secretly he's having the #time of his life bc he's a bit deranged and he likes showing off!!! to L!!!#out of all versions of light i think yotsuba!light felt most strongly about having Something To Prove. to everyone and to L specifically #at this point after the fake-memory kira shenanigans he's def not a normal strait-laced boy even if he's pretending very hard to be one #theres so much u can do w that dynamic imo. like it isnt just neutered kira vs L it's got its own flavor that can only exist at that time #especially if u also assume L realizes light has lost his memories and is kinda trying to manipulate him about it #anyways back to my original point. i can't believe it took an anthropomorphic tv man hitting the base versions of my tastes with deadly #precision for me to even realize what they were. im going insane about this. thank you anthropomorphic tv man. i guess #this is also why alastor + lucifer isn’t doing it for me i think. hating each other over power levels? or over charlie? boringgg #it��s gotta be more personal than that. they’re more evenly matched in how they feel about each other but it feels soulless #i need that raw gut churning angst lmaooo #this is also partly why i can’t get into angel + husk and im MAD about it. i think they’re the kind of ship i might’ve liked back when i #was 12 and losing it over sns (naruto) for the first time. but now i’m a diff type of person apparently

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apple-os · 8 months ago

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ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed #hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty #and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait #and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY #ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD #I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same #so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP #like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself #did u see me insulting u to ur face #nope i have not done even once #and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes #like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that #i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same #if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me #and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid #some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes #and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one #pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off #and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay #this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that #if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul #have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself

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dbphantom · 6 months ago

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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open #i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed #AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA #i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE #I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table #yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante #to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1 #despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat #(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of #it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc #[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic #since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them #its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT #later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag #and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D #it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in #any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other #also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move #because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc #well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c #(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O #cruddy rambles

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daz4i · 9 months ago

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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend

#lovebombing won't work on me i will automatically assume there is an ulterior motive there #i may be off on what it is. but i won't trust it either anyway #(joking btw ik i'm not immune to abuse tactics. that's actually part of why i'm vigilant to all that i think)#(but not only)#i think my main issue is i know in my heart these things can't be right. the bigger the compliment the less i believe it #bc i'm below average and so is anything i create. propping it (and me) up as smth unique feels disingenuous #in my heart i do want this like i wanna be told nice things but they usually make me feel worse lol #bc i still think i'm shit and now i feel like i can't trust that person either.#(still. if someone is mean to me or even just harsh instead. i will cry)#also while this is already very deep and digging into my core the next tags are gonna dig into therapy level deepness lol #i think this is actually why i only want ppl to be sexually attracted to me honestly #smth abt it being like. a physical reaction. makes it easier to believe for me #also smth you can express smth you can do to prove it beyond just saying words #(i will sometimes still doubt it when i have a steady partner of any sort lol like i'll ask if they just indulge me or actually want it)#which is why it's fucking me up sm that i'm getting uglier 🥲 i'm already not great - being trans and fat limits a lot of your options - but #things are getting even worse lol 🥲 who knew that was even possible #all this isn't really a very good base to stop hating yourself. so my self loathing is only getting worse every day #thus making any good word harder to believe. and the cycle continues #. yknow when i started typing this post i did not expect to go on for this long #i am on these sleeping pills that make me lose my filter i'm sorry 😔#vent

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hollowflight-propaganda · 9 months ago

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Me: has my sixth sudden crying spell of the week

Also me: "yeah but I'm probably not ACTUALLY depressed"

#gonna be honest boys. I have been feeling like dogshit #started with me having a good ol' existential spiral at 4 am a week ago and now I don't even know what's bothering me #and then there's all of the bad stuff going on making me anxious for myself and everybody on top of everything #all the abhorrent transphobia has been making me feel worried for the future #(as if the passing of time doesn't already horribly scare me but I digress)#idk man. I already feel like I'm unequipped for the future because I've realized I never thought I'd still be alive right now #majority of my childhood was filled with adults preaching at me to think about where I'd be going in the afterlife so I did just that #that plus they were the type to believe that the rapture is soon cause “the signs are all coming true”#so I always thought that either that would happen or I'd die before now #well. I'm still here and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.#and I'm lonely. really fucking lonely and I'm going mad cause of it #never had actual friends besides the kids I was with at my old private school. now they're all raging conservatives who mock minorities #I was able to get away but moving on isn't as easy as I hoped #it'd be so much easier to betray all my beliefs and act ignorant again so I can have my friends back #but of course I can't do that. I can't throw out who I am and all of the wonderful people I know who would be “sinful” in their eyes #idk man. I think I've finally reached the breakdown I've been feeling coming for the past two years #fuck. sorry for this trauma dump of a post. I've just felt numb for months and now everything's catching up to me #needed to yell about it I guess #vent #phoenix prattles

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reinheits · 17 days ago

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Why am I constantly infantilised and then get called aggressive or easily upset for wanting to be regarded with an amount of respect even 10 year olds could get

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