#i can’t think of them without crying | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dimasdelis · 1 year ago

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resenting who someone has become but missing the person they used to be and hoping that they’re still in there somewhere is the strangest type of grief

#i wonder if you miss yourself as much as i miss you #i know it isn’t their fault #i know they were groomed and manipulated #still they became an awful person like the ones we used to hate #seeing them mirror their abuser and parrot their words every day and i don’t know what to do #i can’t think of them without crying #it’s been years #i pray they will see the truth but it can never really be the same can it #robinposts

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sems-diarie · 1 year ago

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death is insane. wdym i’ll never see my grandmother again

#she’s in her chair in the den cant nobody tell me nothing ok #death tw #grief #what’s this house without my grandmother in it? (all the people she left behind)#i cried this morning while eating grits she taught my mother how to make. love is so big when i think of it like that #i thought i heard her walker clack in the hallway last night.#she wears glasses & we have to decide where to keep them #grief is so strange #i can’t keep crying by myself (i’ll be crying for the rest of my life)#love is carrying on. i think.

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luvsreggie · 7 months ago

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Regulus “I can't hate you for gettin' everything we wanted, I just thought that I would be part of it” Black

#marauders #regulus black #sirius black #the exit #conan gray #i can’t listen to this song without thinking abt them #black brothers #screaming crying throwing up

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farfromstrange · 7 months ago

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IWTV spoilers, but.

Daniel Malloy really said ‘fuck you, Armand’, exposed 70+ years of lies and ended their relationship. Wouldn’t surprise me if he tweeted #teamloustat before Armand turned him, either. Good for him honestly. Good for him.

(more rambling in the tags)

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pilonciillo · 2 months ago

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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works #why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being #released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy #last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get #panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the #parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to #steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out #all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone #spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli #telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s #nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank #track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the #business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and #video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me #FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s #not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m #much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel #safe #OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she #got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like #that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s #crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull #shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to #mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told #me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check #key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS #allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no #consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way

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ninkaku · 1 month ago

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referring to people with mental illnesses as like “healed” in later life is not something i fw because it just sounds like thinly veiled ableism and a very big disconnect to understanding how people with mental illnesses function and can function later in life even if they have a difficulty doing so in earlier stages of life (:

#saw this bcs someone made art of “healed dazai” where he’s not in his bandages which. firstly no ? and secondly no ?#“healed” girl he’s not damaged #i also see people saying this abt if like. dazai had kids #and i’ve been stuck on the thought of dazai being a father for a whileeee bcs no 1 girl dad #he’s alr letting kyouka deck him out in funky clips and headbands with pom poms on #like that man was born for tea parties and tiaras but a mentally ill person doesn’t have to be “healed” to have children #the way that i see it is through the source content we see he has such a huge disconnect with what he thinks vs how he feels #and later in life he comes to have a better understanding of that #but that doesn’t mean he’s “healed” and anyone who talks about mental illness like it can be cured needs to dieeee #but. yeah tldr dazai would have one daughter and then want five more #he’d be so good w imaginary games like wym mr bear wont share his crackers with u? jail for mr bear immediately. life without the possibly #of parole for mr bear!!!! justice for his little girl!!!#man.#dazai and fatherhood is something that can be so personal #sobbing thinking about it. man #MAN!!!!!!!!#there’s still a spiral to be had about having kids and the way that dazai views himself #and how he views life. but like i can’t think abt it it will make me cry but #he’s good w kids. he would be good w his own if only not to introduce them to the same suffering and confusion he had #like the thought of passing on his genes? terrifying #sage enough. ENOUGHHHH anyway.

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sol-arium126 · 2 months ago

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Like thirteen and a half hours until our pookies are back on our screens :)))

I am so excited you have no idea, no show has ever given me this amount of excitement and nerves for an ep EVER!!!!

#brilliant minds #literally they are my dose of serotonin every week #I can’t live without my medical drama people #Especially Josh and Dana #literally they are all i think about #I LOVE THEMMMM #oughhhh and the wolfnichols ALL I THINK ABT ARE MY DRAWINGS AND FICS ABT THEM #i hope they’re okay #but that fights gonna be some good angst tho 🫣#screaming crying throwing up #I need my medical drama gays injected into my brain ��😭😭#kicking my feet and giggling #brilliant minds nbc

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aroaessidhe · 3 months ago

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2024 reads / storygraph

At The Feet Of The Sun

book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*

the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,

after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship

(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)

#At The Feet Of The Sun #lays of the heart-fire #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying #bro the yearning….the yearning #I can definitely see why this loses people - it’s so long and very self indulgent #(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me #I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though #The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh #and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess it’s a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist who’s perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex #when that’s Not what you want out of the relationship………#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels #and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships weren’t accepted and trying to not be disappointed #(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate #to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof #I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books #like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk #(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroy’s end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure #but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I don’t understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other people’s interpretations don’t matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you can’t just mention that and now show me them #also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf #asexual books

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sappymix1 · 3 months ago

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good night. i hope the world ends so i don’t have to get up tomorrow

#first full day of work it’s crazy how if you get hired for a part time job at the end of the year they can make you work full time but not #have to give you any benefits bc you won’t hit the part time hours for the calendar year #anyway all i’ve done is cry today and i think im so dehydrated everybting is just so horrible in general in my life everywhere and i #genuinely think it’s over forever in every single way #and i can’t believe tomorrow i’m going to have to get up and be nice to my fuck ass republican father bc i’m not allowed to be upset full #stop without them getting mad at me #anyway

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chaoticallyfluffy · 4 months ago

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I slightly bent my glasses and instantly started wondering if I’d be able to drown myself in my bathtub or if my body would go into autopilot to get me out

I may be a teensy bit over dramatic

#I’m not gonna do it I just love those freaking glasses #they’re the best pair of glasses I’ve ever had in my life and everytime I look at myself in the mirror I admire how beautiful they are #and my spare pair is so ugly that I can’t look at myself with them on for even a second without feeling like my entire face has been warped #it seriously makes me feel super wrong and I have to take them off #like they literally make me feel like I’m not a real person #they don’t even fit #they keep falling off #i need the glasses but I think im just going to squint until I can get them fixed #and if they can’t get fixed then the bathtub is all ways an option #again not really #no killing of self allowed!#but I will cry a whole lot #my rambles #tw suicide #tw dark humor #dark humor #tw intrusive thoughts #tw drowning

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thingscanalwaysgetworse · 1 year ago

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Never not going to be emotional about this

#adventure time #adventure time together again #finn the human #Jake the dog #the brothers of all time #rambles from the ether #I will admit I’m biased and more emotionally invested in this episode bc it happened to come out the same month I graduated high school #but still. it’s GOOD #also I think this is one of the first times thet I cried tears of joy while watching a cartoon #I get emotional when I watch shows but usually I just cry because I’m sad #but this ending made me cry because I was so HAPPY.#that doesn’t usually happen with me #just. oughhh #I wish I could write endings like that #also I wish I could experience this episode for the first time again #I can’t watch the last few minutes without smiling #also sorry the screenshots look weird #I got them from YouTube bc I was suddenly having feelings about this episode again

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inkbagel · 6 months ago

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This collab I joined like eight months ago that I didn’t really enjoy being in finally got posted today but for some reason only on twitter and I don’t go there so I can’t even see the whole thing :/

#I had. so many quarrels with it.#first of all instead of staying in mutual groups like it was supposed to the collab somehow blew up and got eighty people participating #and THEN you’d think since so many people were there everyone would have like one part right? like what we originally agreed to do with #seven people?#WRONG!!!! I got three parts plus a background without getting consulted about it #and then when I tried to make friends in the discord with all the other artists #at least seven people online at the time were raging mysoginists #telling me no women in this series can be anything except perfect dainty little princesses #except for one woman who was allowed to do a little evil bc she was associated with a MAN #who ACTUALLY wouldn’t be evil #and when I said that’s not accurate to the actual story everyone started crying and saying I offended them #bc ‘they thought really hard about this!!’ stfu you piece of shit #and then everyone in the discord sexualised the fuck out of my fave character who. also happened to be the one I was drawing.#so I got too grossed out to finish my part and ignored the disc for several months #and the host never thought once to tag everyone for check in until a week before the deadline #so I dropped all but one of my parts (the one I had mostly finished when I got grossed out)#and finished that and didn’t touch the disc again for the sake of my own mental health #but it finally got posted and I can’t even see it I only have my groups picture #but whatever. I didn’t like anyone there anyway at least I can leave the disc without feeling guilty now #inkbagel speaks

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solace-seekers · 8 months ago

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screaming into the void <3

#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn #we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey #he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve #he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday #and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them #and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense #i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor #he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally #he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok #and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning #and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him #to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing #but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday #he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight #i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning #and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because #this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn #i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say #i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense #and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year #but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better #for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows #he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand #my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary #cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it #i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn

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kuiinncedes · 5 days ago

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akdbdndjshdf

#feel fucking crazy sometimes ugh ik rn it’s partially bc im kinda tired and i haven’t eaten #but like i do kinda wanna cry bc my friends be planning smth without me LMFAOOOOOOOOOO #it sounds so dumb :| ik it’s not tho lmfaobscbdbdndndkkdksjdhekws #i honestly just need to stop thinking and eat smth or just go to sleep bc i rly don’t feel like #making food rn lmao but #idk i like writing out my thoughts here sometimes so i think imma do that ;-;#bc like my two friends who i’ve been seeing nonstop lately mentioned getting pho w a group #and i def think i said i wanted to join #but they all like were talking abt it today and i think they started a gc to plan it and they do actually have plans #but idk shit abt it #and ik if i asked they would say i can join #but goddammit i could not bring myself to ask today #and honestly even thinking abt needing to ask makes me kinda want to cry #BRUH i wish i was over friendship exclusion bullshit #it’s this one fucking friend in middle school who made me sob a million fucking times #bc she straight up ignored me when we were w other friends #and my friends rn don’t do that #but idk being left out of this gc has made me insane ig 😀😀😀#they can’t even all fit in her car……..#idk like they also never said anything directly to me abt it even tho they were talking abt it in my vicinity #they asked someone else if she wanted to go ;-; like kinda absently but still #i hate that im complaining abt this i hate that i feel fucking crazy complaining abt this #like i can totally see a world where i just fucking ASK and my roommates like oh shit ur not in the group i didn’t realize #but also i could be deluding myself #its literally. not that deep im seeing the two of them tmrw and i can ask when im not out of my mind #ugh fucking fuck sometimes i hate relationships #but ik to some extent that these ppl like spending time w me even if its hard to believe sometimes like rn ig #but to think i have to start all over in a few months and find those ppl again #💀💀💀💀💀🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#anyway i’m fine i need to chill and do something productive 😭😭😭😭😭

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faynthearted · 25 days ago

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in case anyone is interested, my “creative musings” side blog for my writing style inspirations, quotes/poems/passages that have changed my life, and a general glimpse into my awful, aching, and bleeding author’s heart is @loveaffayre lol

#fay talks #there aren’t many posts on there but each and every one of them means something sincere to me #there is one about suicide and another about a poem to a mother — I want to be buried with both those passages/works #i can’t even think about them without crying. it’s really such a hazard…

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butteredfrogs · 11 months ago

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it’s that time where i complain that i wish i could befriend my mutuals

#like why can’t i message anyone without thinking i’m annoying them #screaming crying #butter’s thoughts

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