#i can’t take another death
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oh man, that trailer
#spoilers#don’t read but#god. imm realizing that#i can’t take another death#i don’t think i can take a pc death at this point in the story#especially if it’s only one or two of them and not. like. tpk#because “stray together” right?#but if only one or two or just. some#even with the newfound friendship with snow white#i’m so fucking afraid of what’s gonna happen next episode#i mean hell yeah kudos to the editor#for making me feel this bone-and-secret-meat-in-bone-deep dread#and kudos for the yet another amazing superb battle set coming up#but oh my god. fucking. i can’t.#i really hope they were not screaming rosamund or gerard or ylfa#because they were on the brink#i’m sure when next week rolls around it’ll be all fun#and amazing times#but right now oh man. oh no.#i’m really feeling it
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family tea party.
(in my mind, Radagon is the pure Order with no kindness half, and he always yearns to converge with Marika + be on equal footing with her, so in my drawing he’ll always be kinda nuts)
#elden ring#radagon of the golden order#queen marika the eternal#believe it or not this is ship art#my conspiracy theory is that he took advantage of Messmer being sealed and Godwyn death to slowly ursurp Marika#since those two command the two largest armies that were loyal to her just after Godfrey’s#in an misguided attempt to ease her burden. like oh if I’m in charge you won’t be sad again :) kinda way#also lowkey alienating Miq and Mal from their mother#so he’ll be the only one Marika can lean on. but joke is on him she dragged him down with her too alright#I can’t write another essay on this so pls just take the art#they r so funny in my head now#messmer the impaler#albi’s art
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alice dying confirmed my fears about what will happen to lilia and jen… oh god i’m not prepared
#jen and lilia STAY HOME!!!#or whatever that audio is#‘do not take dangerous journeys’#well. they’re on one + got shoved in a swamp by a twink so…#anyway!! let’s manifest that they will be okay!!#i can’t take another death after my bbg alice#alice wu gulliver#lilia calderu#jennifer kale#agatha all along
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“No buddy, without me there is no you” ARGGGHH it kills me how Rust even under all his nihilism and peculiarities, still seems more aware of their relationship, as if he’s been waiting for years to Marty to catch up on his own, to face, accept and give in to his real feelings about each other.
The best part is how Marty can’t say anything after that and just let him goes, as if he knew too but wasn’t AGAIN ready to face his feelings.
It’s amazing how time being a flat circle works with them as well, taking to know the other so well and develop their bond trough years, even those they spent apart to of course, circle back to each other.
Marty is Rust’s heart and Marty is rusted from the inside without him.
#true detective season 01#true detective#rust cohle#marty hart#rewatching season 01#again#I love them so much#I’m always cheesy when it’s about my blorbos#they’re in love your honor#I can’t blame Marty for taking so long#man got such issues and internalised homophobia that it even makes sense taking years to finally accept it#and about rust well it’s clear that this man can’t believe sth good can happen to him#or that he deserves anything#he’s literally quietly waiting to die#like every cigarette he smokes#it’s another promise he makes to death itself#of course he would never expect Marty to give in to get close to willingly cross their silent sacred agreement of not get#involved and fuck these two are involved since the moment they laid eyes on each other’s
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Me: has such a bad sore throat that speaking is extremely hard and painful
Also me: has a job where speaking is critical and unavoidable
Me: “But what if I’m just being lazy by calling in sick again??”
#it would be the fourth time in the last five weeks is the thing#***I keep getting sick***#***and it’s very frustrating***#a part of me feels like I should just get over myself and force it today but also i feel like Death#and I can’t talk#or at least I can’t talk without being in excruciating pain#and i cannot do this job without talking#i’m telling myself it’s okay to take another day#gosh i just feel so bad#work things#medical stuff
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YALL!!!
the leaked boss with the void inside his abdomen has similar movement set to childe’s boss
THEY KILLED MY BOI????
#i’ll commit actual crimes if that’s true and you won’t be able to blame me bc ill be dead by the time you do#this is not acceptable#they better not do it#or if they did they should bring him back#i don’t mind a dead or abyssal playable childe so you can do that as well#just don’t kill him outright and never bring him back#signora’s death was more than enough i can’t take another#and just so yall know it’s part of the whale’s weekly boss fight#genshin leaks#fontaine archon quest
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So which is it? Did Bruce treat everyone like that or was he only super mean to Steph bc of the writers? Like I’m tired of the excuses being made, if it was one and done whatever but the way Bruce treated steph did impact her story and then changing stephs personality to golden retriever blond doesn’t change that at all lmao
#fans when the character flaws are socially unacceptable 😖😖😖😖#like yeah a lot of tim and Bruce’s writing did reflect racism classism and misogyny of the writers#that doesn’t make their impact on the characters they were talking to any less racist misogynistic or classist#and i genuinely think choosing to ignore it in order to preserve ur image of ur white fave whilst completely changing the way steph Duke#Damian cass etc. behave is more racist than the writing#this is just to me#to ME changing the things tim said and making Steph a ditzy Girlboss blond is more misogynistic than ANYTHING they could’ve written#at least they had a point where growth could happen and the possibility to give Steph a backbone#y’all just say tim is a coffee addict and go#and It’s the personality shifts that bother me the most#like this most recent Damian is ass sorry#like in canon making his relationship with Bruce good or closer than it actually was….#and ppl saying Bruce changed post death like no he hugged Damian once lmao#like that didn’t change a damn thing between them before#and if it was presented as codependency and trauma bonding whatever but it’s not they just act like he was always a difficult fave#which fuels racist fans who already thought that even more#yuck#and every single personality shift that happens is to prop Bruce up and by extension tim bc the meanest thing dc does to him is nothing#like y’all think tim is most hated NOT true#he’s badly written in the sense that his personality becomes being the perfect soldier for Bruce#which y’all play into by doing the same shit downplaying everyone else but making him pissed about it#get real#if I see another fic or hc about how Damian actually can’t withstand torture or needs Tim’s help to hack smth 😭#y’all can’t stand that Damian IS talented it’s so sick like his whole issue is that he’s a kid with kid emotions who knows how to do all#this shit and mentally knows he ‘should’ behave differently and fails in an effort to go towards that bc he doesn’t take him still being a#kid into account UNLESS it’s an advantage. saying ur a better writer than dc by saying Talia was play fighting? ok…#when ppl are like ‘Talia/Ra’s would never respect a kid enough to do XYZ…’ THATS THE POINT!!#anyways sorry tiktok vid pissed me off this went everywhere
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the bfs are matching guys <333
#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#spoilers#LMAOOOOOO#never been more glad i dropped this manga#the quality of writing declined so damn bad#gege taking out all the characters that make his manga interesting one by one like dominos lol#gojo deserved a better death/ending#i was so satisfied w nanami’s death :( what happened man#jjk manga spoilers#but yeah i can’t say i’m surprised like . oh wow another guy died jeez surpiseeeee#the fact that gojo was such a strong character in terms of writing such that the entire story revolves around him#the entire foundation for jjk is this guy#and yet . he’s just another fight for sukuna to defeat and move on from 😭#so lacklustre#but what do i expect from the guy that literally had gojo sealed for like 2 years of the manga#killed nobara offscreen#forgot abt half their cast#it’s just such a mess 😭 like these are ur MAIN characters man#all the characters are so overshadows#i don’t rly care abt sukuna or anything anymore#i guess i’ll tune into leaks every now and then to see what happens to yuuji and megumi#(spoiler alert they’re gonna die too lol )#like WHY make a characters entire concept being the strongest to end him like that😭 the strongest guy in the world and yet he ends up as#just another death in another ordinary chapter
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Kinda crazy how people will call out celebrities for not speaking up on political issues and then a celebrity WILL speak up on that political issue but doesn’t do it in exactly the way these people want so they’ll call THEM out too and it’s like why tf would anyone want to do anything these days if every action they take gets them called out???
#specifically referencing Annie Lennox this time but I’ve seen it so many times just on this issue alone#she called for a ceasefire at the fucking Grammys and all pro Palestine people praised her#and then she made a non aggressive post about it on Twitter that still called for ceasefire but didn’t praise hamas#and people are shaming her and calling her a coward#another time I read someone say Bella Ramsay signed the hostage release letter right after Oct 7#but has since been outspoken about pro Palestine#but that that’s not enough and they’re still bad for doing that first thing#when they’re an actor not an activist and nobody really understood what was going on back then#like this is exactly why I won’t be one of the people calling on celebrities to be posting on every issue#cuz even people more well informed are called out for being wrong about stuff#I’ve been following this issue since 2019 and I still don’t feel fully comfortable doing more than sharing stuff from better informed people#cand calling out hypocracies and bad arguements (something I studied in college)#I can’t expect someone who didn’t know anything before four months ago and doesn’t actively follow it now#to feel comfortable taking a strong side on an issue where no matter what you do you’re gonna get death threats from SOMEONE#pro Israel pro Palestine neural stance silence#every single choice makes people mad at you so it’s really safer to go with the last#this isn’t ‘register to vote’ or ‘this issue directly affects me and I’m therefore better informed so I’ll talk about it’#this is an extremely hot button sensitive issue#and I’m tired of people acting like social media activism is where we should start and end#call our your politicians not your actors and singers for gods sake
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I showed up to see my granny and when my aunt (homophobic) answered the door she asked me “are you gonna wear a mask forever?” And I said yes immediately.
The fact that she, a school teacher in contact with hundreds of children isn’t masking despite her immunocompromised mother developing a scary cough is throwing me. Like actually bitch when are YOU gonna START masking??
#like bitch you can’t be serious actually#you’re such a fucking weirdo#even if covid wasn’t an issue your mother is sick you trifling piece of plyboard#her antics almost starved the poor woman to death but she’s not ready for that convo#‘sugar and fat feeds the cancer’ says the mf taking medical advice from another covid denier quack#two dumb bitches looking at each other and saying ‘exactly!’#[extremely loud incorrect buzzer]#the saving grace is the big windows all over the apartment being open#but i just#i cant even#granny posting#covid isn’t over#mask up#wear a mask
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#okay so discussion of death and stuff up ahead#I’m rlly starting to suspect that I’m crused or some shit cause every time I take exams someone in my family dies??#first it was my dad & my grandma 2 years ago#then my grandad on my dad’s side#now my grandad on my mum’s side who’s been doing rlly badly since a stroke he had a couple of months ago needs an emergency operation#and they say it’s unlikely he’ll make it even with the operation#like I know it obv is a conincidence and has fuck all to do with me but it’s weird that it’s happening for the fourth time#also I Am Very Sad#can’t really deal with another death tbh#I just don’t have it in me my dudes
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i have been thinking about that ‘give your oc a kink’ post for days. because i think even would have a thing for hypnosis. yes, yes, for character reasons of overwhelming feelings of impending failure that make the idea of having the ability to choose anything at all be taken out of their hands look extremely appealing. but also because it would be so fucking funny in the worse timeline. imagine you get stuck in time hell with a guy whose whole thing is hypnotizing people, and u hate him. u hate him so. so much.
#i never let them just have a nice relaxing time huh#even just wants someone to take over their brain for a bit so they arent filled with insane amounts of stress about fucking up.#and no one around them will help out for silly reasons like ‘this is a bad coping mechanism’ and ‘having free will is important’ and#‘controlling someone’s mind is invasive’#except for this one asshole. and they don’t even like him.#i cannot emphasize enough how much the core of this timeline is that even and the master do not fucking like each other. at all.#but the thing is: time bubble.#even can’t reasonably expect to survive on their own. and the master gets his kicks out of watching one of the doctor’s companions get Worse#when circumstances force their hand. and also its helpful to have a spare to be able to throw into pits before you jump in yourself to see#how deep they are.#something even is aware of. and on some level finds easier than their relationship with the doctor. there’s security in knowing someone will#destroy you. in choosing them to do it. or at least telling yourself that you had a choice when you picked them.#<3 healthy and normal relationship.#i got off topic this was about hypnosis. anyway the point of that was that its one thing to give a guy your death and another to (willingly)#let him fuck around in your head. no matter how appealing it looks some days.#and let me tell you: even’s had some days.#endgame for even getting out of this. (if they do. i haven’t decided.) but the endgame is someone on the surface whose face the doctor knows#and someone underneath who is a complete stranger. both metaphorically and physically as in: that suicide pill tooth is probably not the#last thing they end up letting the master stick in their body. even is at the end of the day a constant struggle to be a person and not a#reaction to the people around them.#dw oc#and maybe in a nicer timeline they meets river song and find kinky applications for hallucinagenic lipstick. i could let them be happy.#i could. i wont! but i could.
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i am a huge sucker for grumpy/traumatized/world weary male characters slowly growing to care for and needing to protect the children that they’ve ended up with by circumstance. so tlou is making me crazy
#it’s about CHOOSING even if it takes awhile#it’s about inherently loving and caring for and wanting to look out for the people around you#it’s about choosing to protect others#esp if it’s for selfish reasons like. i fucking love joel rescuing ellie from death even if it means dooming humanity bc#he can’t lose another daughter
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#since i’m already talking about it…#i’m scared to foster again lmao#2022 was a bad year#i had so many animals pass away#and like. that becomes part of the job#and it always hurts#but it felt like every animal i took in passed away in the span of 3 months#in that same time frame zoey - the loml - also finally passed#all the while the main rescue i was with was treating me like ass#refusing to let me see a vet when i needed so i ended up paying for a lot of vet care#they completely forgot about oskar#i never adopted him they just forgot i had their animal#oskar was on deaths door for months bc they wouldn’t let him see the vet#bc ‘he was too sick and they couldn’t justify the cost’#and i’ve been doing a lot of work down in the shelter#and it’s ran by the county so i know if i need vet care i will get it#their main vet tech is soo nice and helped me a bunch#but i’m so scared of taking in more kittens and having another bad run where i can’t save any of them
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what in the goddamn
#sorry i don’t usually post dumb takes i see but this one left me speechless#if you knew that you could never die you would not appreciate the things in life the same way#‘i’ll never get tired of having only good times 🤪’ and how would you know you’re having good times if you’ve never had bad?#what frame of reference is there? how would you know the meaning of non-suffering if you don’t have suffering to compare it to?#light does not exist without dark and vice versa#infinite good times do not exist you would just be existing neutral. the addition of a ‘good’ signifier implies that you have something -#to compare it to#another scenario: let’s say you’ve suffered before and magically are only able to have ‘good times’ for the rest of ur life#you would go insane.#and is it only you in this scenario? because then you wouldn’t feel grief or sadness when your loved ones die#the hurting of others would not enrage you#you would lose everyone around you because you could sympathize with no one and then not feel anything when you lose them#i genuinely can’t wrap my head around the idea that thinking death gives life meaning is ‘cope’#coping with what exactly.#the fact that everything dies at some point?#op kept arguing in the notes about how immortals would have a different perspective and frame of morals#which is just like. why are you arguing and trying to bring yourself to an immortal person’s state of mind when you know being immortal -#will literally never be achievable? this is not putting yourself in the shoes of the first person to walk on mars someday. this is -#putting yourself in the shoes of idk. a god or something#immortality will never happen why are you trying to reach the hypothetical immortality mindset#sounds like you’re the one coping with the fact that you’ll die someday#beep beep ritchie
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I got high for the first time and had a horrible panic attack. I don’t really remember what was going on but all of a sudden I was age regressing and rapid switching. I’ve never age regressed before. I’ve never switched before. I’ve never even entertained the idea of having DID or another dissociative disorder. I have a special interest in psychology (im studying it in college right now) so that’s why I knew what was happening. But I have no idea what to do now. My friends are certain they talked to several different people. They are absolutely sure I have DID. But there’s no way. It’s not possible. I would’ve had more signs. Surely.
#actually dissociative#actually traumatized#I know people always say they had no idea until all of a sudden they were confronted with it#but like taking a THC edible shouldn’t have done that to me#so it must be real but I literally can’t accept that right now#how am I supposed to keep going to school or get into grad school#I wanted to double major in disability studies. even though I don’t want it to be this is basically a death sentence to my academic career#and also how the fuck can in possibly be another person im just me. I’m just me. there’s not another me.#I will say though that I’ve been so dissociated all day to the point I can barely tell what’s real and I have the worst headache#like I’m so nauseous and have such a bad headache that I can’t eat#AHHH WHAT DO I DO#did#did osdd#osdd#realizing I have did#did and thc#weed made me realize I have did what the fuck
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