#light does not exist without dark and vice versa

[quintsmachete]

what in the goddamn

[bruisedkisss]

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 || 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬 ➶

 summary: you spend the night with ellie after accidentally getting locked out of your home

18+ smut warnings: making out, mutual pinning, language, sub ellie idc, r gives ellie a hickey, fingering (e receiving), oral (e receiving), overstimulation, tit groping

word count: 2.6k

It’s been a long day.

You and a couple of friends had volunteered to help clean up the alleyways on the far side of Jackson— the alleyways people don’t usually walk by. You were supposed to go alone, you used cleaning as some sort of way to reduce your anxiety- something to clear your head. 

However, when you were heading out to your what you called your daily manic cleaning episodes, sweeping alleyways that were anything less than clean. Your friends saw you on your walk over there— almost sneaking up on you – and decided to tag along, saying phrases such as, 

“It’ll be good for our community.”

“Group bonding.”

“Karma points, right?”

Really they felt bad for you. You could tell they didn’t want you to be lonely– but that was exactly what you wanted.

Now here you are— a quarter after midnight on your house porch. Locked outside your house. Trembling from the frigid air– your hands wrapped around your arms are barely warming you. All you want to do is take a hot shower and snuggle in bed, maybe sleep in for one time.

Was it always this cold at night? Shit- you don't know, all you know is that you’re locked outside your house with nothing but a street lamp lighting up your porch.

You could have sworn you had had your key on you. Fuck– maybe you dropped it on your walk back. 

You’re never finding it in this dark and there’s no way any of the town’s locksmiths are awake.

Fuck it.

You start franticly tugging the doorknob and your shitty door hinges allow your door to look like it might open– but it’s getting you absolutely nowhere. It starts squeaking, you’re making so much noise– but you don’t care.

It’s too cold to care.

You’re about a minute in looking like you’re about to burglarize your own home until you hear a voice call your name. You turn around almost immediately.

“Ellie??” You noticed the voice right away– you can't help but feel excited “Holy fuck you scared me!” you shiver from the cold air– seeing your breath as you exhale. “Oh fuck sorry...” Ellie curses, “I was just getting back from patrol, and well I um– heard noise coming from your house and was just checking to see if you were okay” she stammered.

Oh well, you feel embarrassed now. Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, the girl you like catches you locked outside your house in the middle of the night.

Ellie was your neighbor. You met her a while back when you first moved here. Away from the horrors outside Jackson. She was so pretty— from the way she carried herself, she was so charming without even trying. You would always try to get her attention, finding ways to have a conversation no matter how brief.

With her living right next to you... those conversations happened almost every day.

You know, the regular neighborly acts.

It usually went from you asking her if she had any spare movie DVDs she could lend you (and vice versa), to you wishing her luck whenever she went on patrol. You noticed Ellie could never look you fully in the eyes.

You would also hang out every now when you saw her at events held in Jackson. Mostly with a group of other people. It still counts, right? 

You could never tell if Ellie liked you back. She probably didn’t even know you liked girls.

“Oh.” you chuckle. “I just got back from volunteer hours and got locked out.” your hand gestures to your door.

“I can see that.” Ellie laughs as she walks up the steps to your front porch. Ellie approaches where you stand you can’t help but feel your cheeks heating up.

You hate that about her. All she does is exist you can’t help but be all over her.

She not-so-subtly looks you up and down– noticing your stiff frame. “You must be so cold.” Ellie grins.

“Freezing.” 

“Well um-” she starts, you already know what she’s going to say, trying to hide the way the corners of your mouth twitch up.  “You can come over and bunk on my couch for the night,” she uttered.

“There’s this DVD I found while out on patrol a few days ago and,” she tilts her head slightly, “I thought you would like it so I was saving it for you… I just couldn’t find a good time to give it to you,” Ellie’s so close to you. You can smell firewood and a hint of metallic whiff. Maybe from blood.

 “If you want we could watch it together,” she mutters.  If it was anyone else, you would have declined and just suffered in the cold– you wouldn’t want to bother people because you were dumb enough to get locked out of your own house. But this wasn’t just anyone else.

It’s Ellie– plus she’s asking you to spend the night. You weren’t going to waste an opportunity.

“Alright… since you’re offering” you whisper in her ear. “It’ll be like a sleepover.”

“Well let’s hurry.”  she lends you her hand, urging you to grab it. You feel just how rough her palms are. “I swear if I’m out here for another minute my ass is gonna fall off.” you laugh as you both make your way along the pathway.

After you both arrive at her house, you and Ellie take turns showering. She insisted you shower first since she knew you were already having a shitty day. As well as lending you pajama shorts and an oversized shirt to borrow. While it’s Ellie’s turn to shower, you’re seated on her bed as you observe your surroundings. Her house is pretty tidy for someone as frantic as she can be. Layered with a cozy brown and gray shade– pretty tiny which makes sense since it’s only her here. In front of her bed sits her wardrobe with her TV on top. Along with it are a bunch of film DVDs from the eighties, nineties, to the early two thousands, next to a few comic books. 

Just when you decided to lie down while you wait. You hear the bathroom door open. Ellie comes out wearing plaid sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt. Her short auburn hair is wet and her eyes seem to have more light in them than they did right after she got off patrol. “Comfortable?” she remarks.

“Now that you’re here,” you say with a grin on. You’re flirting with her now– you’re on her bed and flirting with her. “So are we watching this movie or not.”

“Yeah yeah,” she says rolling her eye. Walking over to the disc player by her TV. You see the case in her hand. Sixteen candles. Looks like it was filmed in the eighties, you remember her mentioning she preferred older films.

Ellie carefully takes the disc out of the case and inserts it into the player. Plopping herself on the bed, making an effort to smooth out the bedsheets. Something tells you that you won’t be sleeping on that couch tonight.

 As the movie goes on she shifts herself closer to your body. You can smell her body wash from the shower, and you pretend like you don’t notice the glances she gives you every now and then. You both haven’t spoken since the movie started- besides the few remarks whenever the movie got interesting. 

You raise your arms so you can sit up on her bed. “You said you found this movie on patrol and thought I would like it right?” you lay down on your side, facing her now. “Why’s that?” 

“Oh uh, you know.” her frame mirrors yours as she moves on her side, propping her arm so her head is resting on her hand. “It’s romantic, a comedy and you're a pretty funny person and naturally romantic from what I can tell.”

“I am?” you say scrunching your face. She laughs at your visible confusion. She’s sitting up now– focusing all her attention on you. If it was even on the movie, to begin with. “Yeah?? Have you heard your jokes? It's like you’re a human joke book except less cheesy, remember that one time when-.” 

“No I meant the romantic part,” you cut her off. Sitting up crisscrossed as you lean towards her frame. Your hands resting on your lap. Ellie looks up at you as she does the same, carefully thinking about what she’s going to say next. 

“You have your moments,” she leans forward– her hands grab the ones on your lap. Her palms are sweating but you don’t mind. Her cheeks start to grow flush and that’s when you realize your effect on her.

 “I’m not sure if you do it on purpose,” she whispers “In the morning when you look at me with,” she pauses, looking over to her right as she tries to avoid your gaze. “I dunno.. those eyes as you tell me to be safe on patrol, or when you touch my shoulder when you tell me how good the movie I recommended to you was.”

You’re shocked, nevertheless. You softly smile as Ellie begins to ramble. “It happens every time. But I can’t help but hate myself because I didn’t flirt back when I knew how much better my life would be if I had you.”  

When she sees your widen eyes and a grin forming, a look of regret starts to plaster her face. “It’s stupid I’m sorry, I guess that’s just what I want to believe, that you were flirting with me because you wanted me, not just as a friend but-” her sentence is cut short as you press your lips on hers. Ellie’s lips feel warm and soft in this manner and you both lean further into the kiss. Your hands let go of hers– grabbing the sides of her face as her tender hands land on your waist. 

Ellie’s plush lips move against yours in a breathless motion and you feel your heart pumping faster. As your grip on her face tightens, your hands quickly heat up her cheeks. Or is she just blushing— you can’t tell at the moment. Ellie’s whole face and body searingly yet gently lean into you, and the struggle to sit up straight creeps up on you.

The soft kiss quickly becomes more wet and erotic as you moan into it, giving her tongue a way to slip through your lips. “Lay back.” you moan against her lips. She brings you with her when she does, pulling your hips to straddle her waist. Your mouth is on hers again in an instant as you slowly grind against her, Ellie’s hands flow with the rhythm of your moving waist. Encouraging your movements. 

Your lips start traveling down, giving her jaw a few pecks before you start kissing the side of her neck. “Oh fuck,” Ellie gasped between moans when you start sucking the front of her neck, backing up and panting at the sight of a mark forming.

Ellie chases your lips with hers when you begin to undo the strings of her sweatpants. Her hands cup the side of your face as she maneuvers out of her pants along with her shirt– revealing her braless chest. The only thing attached to her body are gray panties with a wet patch on display.

The feeling of her tongue getting lost along yours as if you both weren’t thinking at the moment. Ellie knew she wouldn’t forget this anytime soon and will definitely remember the touch of your hands as they fell on her boobs.

“Mhm fuck,” Ellie whines as your hands make contact with the flesh of her tits, massaging them, her tongue tracing your lips, softly biting your bottom lip before letting it go with one last kiss.

“Take your shirt off,” Ellie whines as she feels up on your stomach and breast through your shirt. “Please, it’s not fair I’m the only one practically naked.” 

“Alright, since you asked so nicely,” hands are placed on the hem of your shirt. Ellie stares in awe as the girl straddling her hips unclips her bra. Her hands are already on the move to grab your breast until she sees your body move further down the bed as your head passes her belly button. This way, your head is between her thighs.

She sees your seductive face looking up at her, asking for permission. Ellie gladly gives you it– lifting her hips as you take off her underwear. Ellie’s soaked as your middle and ring finger rub along her entrance, slipping in so easily. Ellie begins to whimper out your name when your fingers penetrate her needy cunt.

“You like that?” you asked, slowly curling your digits inside of her, turned on at the sight of her biting her lip. You continuously move your fingers in and out of Ellie’s wet cunt as your other hand pushes down on her stomach when she tries arching her back. She couldn't help but navigate her palm on the back of your hand, interlocking with your fingers.

“-fuckkkk” she drags out, “that feels so fucking good, fuck- keep going baby.” Ellie moans even louder now as she feels the liquid from her drenched cunt drip onto the mattress. The more your fingers thrust in and out, the wetter and more desperate she got. Ellie began moving along the fingers gilding inside her pussy when you took your restricting hand away from her stomach. It wasn’t long till Ellie felt the excitement in her lower stomach grows hotter before cumming all over your finger.

“I can make it feel better,” your voice lowered as your mouth made its way to her clit, you sucked hard, giving Ellie a sting of overstimulation. 

You resume thrusting your finger in her, curling them into her sweet spot or sucking firmly on her clit if she got too quiet. “Mm fuck I’m close babe don’t stop,” she pants out, head tilting back as her orgasm takes over.

“That’s it, Ellie,” you respond against her clit, keeping a steady pace until you felt your fingers become damp once again. “There you go babe” you stare at Ellie’s face, noticing how pink she’s gotten from what just happened. It made you feel so satisfied you could get a girl like Ellie to blush so deeply.

Ellie tilts her head down so she’s staring at you. There’s nothing less than lust in her eyes when she looks at you and down at the mess she caused. Her eyes follow your frame when you lean down from the bed. You reach over to grab your discarded shirt on the ground to wipe her down. Ellie whimpers at the feeling of the cloth touching her core.

You break the silence as you lift up a blanket to cover the both of you up, “It’s very late now Els– and we both have to wake up early tomorrow so we should-”

“Hold on a second,” You’re cut off when Ellie suddenly grabs your waist and shifts on top of you, caressing your cheek as she does. “I don’t think it’s fair you gave me the best two orgasms of my life while you haven’t even been touched yet.”

“Ellie I-” you stammer, feeling her hand grope your bare breast, and they hastily move down to your hips. Ellie removes both your shorts and underwear at the same time, revealing everything she wanted to see.

You look over at her small television as the movie credits come along, glancing over at the digital clock next to it that reads 3:02 AM.

It looks like you’ll have to rewatch it with her another day.

a/n: svudjfrsdhufe first fic on my new blog what. I was a little doozy on sleeping pills while writing this and I'm not sure if ellie’s ooc or not 😭. Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

[lxvebun]

gentle hearts

request: would like to request megumi/yuji dating a reader that is very emotionally sensitive :) if you don’t feel like writing it that’s perfectly okay! I love your work <3

buns notes: hi angel!!thank you for requesting and for being so patient! I hope you like this as well and I hope you have a good day!

content: Sukuna/Yuuji/Megumi x gender neutral reader. Fluff + comfort. Kissing. Crying. Mentions of violence in Sukuna's part.(not towards reader) blood (sukuna). English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

Navigation

dc/dark blogs, k!nk and ed blogs do not interact or forever have bad wifi connection<3

Sukuna

This was disgustingly self indulgent forgive me anon

♡-He really admires your sensitivity. He barely has any :)

♡-It piqued his curiosity that you feel everything so deeply. From love and happiness to grief and sorrow you carry these emotions on your sleeve, even if you don't necessarily want to.

♡-Although it makes him curious, it doesn’t mean he’ll purposefully make you emotional. He hates seeing you cry. He's done terrible things, made scenes that put everyone else whose eyes laid upon it guts twist, without as much as blinking. He doesn't feel anything when his hands are dripping in blood but God seeing you cry feels like his veins are starting to pump poison through his body and his non-existent heart is being ripped out of his chest.

♡-And he had to learn the hard way that storming over to you and harshly demanding what happened. Who made you cry? Give him names. Is not exactly the best way to soothe you.

♡-So when he sees you flinch and more tears start to spill out, his attitude immediately changes. He's the king of curses he knows that he can be terrifying and to some even uttering his name shoots fear into their heart, but you look at him with such a soft love-filled look, so much light and admiration, when he's with you he kinda forgets that he is so scary

♡-Don’t worry tho! every day he’s learning more and more about how to take care of you. So rest assured he’ll be there to wipe the tears away. And give you a big smooch for good measure.

Yuuji

♡-Yuuji is honestly just like you. He feels everything strongly and deeply. At first it didn’t bother him, it was actually one of the traits he liked about himself. When he loved someone, he told them, which would lead to stronger bonds and when he needed to cry, he cried which after a good session would make him feel a lot lighter than he felt before.

♡-Now though, with everything going on in his life, and he quite literally carries the safety of the world on his shoulders, he hates the fact he feels everything so deeply. it's a constant state of happy and depressing emotions because he did meet Fushiguro, and Gojo, and Nobara, and he is sure his grandpa is proud of him, but he's already feeling the dread and fear of leaving this world, his friends behind. He's already afraid of what comes next and with every finger he consumes it just gets stronger. until you, ray of sunshine entered his life as well

♡-It’s nice to meet someone who was also emotionally sensitive, which lead to many late night conversations under the stars or on the floor of his bedroom, which eventually lead to your first kiss<3

♡-Whenever the emotions get to heavy to carry, just being around you overflows him with enough love to drown all these negative feelings out. Truly your presence alone is enough to soothe him and vice versa

♡-Yuuji is only one call away. If you need him he will be there as fast as he can

♡-It’s difficult being a sensitive person in such a cruel world, but as long as you and yuuji have eachother, you know you can survive it.

Megumi

♡-He's quite soft-spoken which is great! His voice is calming and when he's letting those sickeningly sweet words of love and adoration for you fall from his lips, you're basically melting into a little puddle. But, when he's just talking normally, his voice doesn't carry a lot of emotion and neither does his expression. So it is pretty easy, especially for you, to start assuming he's annoyed or bored which with your heightened sensitivity isn’t great and it shoots you into a heavy spiral of overthinking that maybe you have upset him in some way which eventually leads you to  distance yourself

♡-STOP IT

♡-He recharges on YOU. One hour spent with Gojo or Yuuji drains him of his brain cells and energy and the only cure is you. So when you start avoiding him, distancing yourself from him, And he's not receiving his daily kisses and cuddles that he very much needs, the expressions and emotion in his voice become even more sour.

♡-He won’t let it go for long though, megumi is nothing short of persistent. He will give you puppy eyes. Please let him in

♡-And after you do open up to him, expect to be showered in precious little kisses all over your face along with soft whispers thanking you for letting him in and trusting him with this.

♡- Even if he does sound annoyed or he’s feeling a little irritated, you will never be the cause of it.

♡-As much as he tries he can’t really help his expressions and voicetone, BUT he’ll become a lot more physically affectionate to let you know, everything is okay. Even if he is actually annoyed or mad it's not directed towards you. Its towards Gojo ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎

Thank you for reading bunnies!<3

[thivell]

Sharing Some OCs

Hi hey! I have uhh… a Jedi and a handful of half baked clone sketches I did when I was bored (there’s a few more but post is already long)

also this is a real long post and I apologize

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Jedi OC

Dunno how effective his pole staff works but hey it’s cool and does exist canonically -

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Clones - most of my sillies are clones rn. Currently I’m working out a battalion that’ll be my little clone collection but I also have an oddball squad that’s a little mix of canonical characters and ocs

451st Battalion Clones

not all my babes are drawn out but a few are- they are incredibly rough though and we’re drawn when I was just finishing up the clone wars show

Commander Delgado/ CC-8933

Captain Maverick/ CT-4751

First Lieutenant Makeshift / CT-9663

Second Lieutenant Krypt / CT-5769

That’s it for my boys rn, but I’ll slowly start making my way through the rest of them- with my stuff still being fidgeted around I’ll most likely change the 451st boys into being 176th and go under my Jedi OC.

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Marines

I have two marines Port/CT-3742 and Starboard/CT-5065. They got their names because of the directions of the numbers (Port’s are all facing left and Star’s are mostly facing right). But what’s silly about them is they’re always on opposite sides with Starboard seen on the left of Port and vice versa especially when they walk. Why is that you ask? Well it’s because while most clones are ambidextrous they still have preferred hands; for Port that’s his right and for Starboard it’s his left. They’re both little shits that when combined make one half of a braincell and that’s all they got and they definitely gaslight the shinies into thinking they have port and starboard mixed up. They were based off of two orcas with the same names.

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Oddball Squad Clones

so the oddballs are essentially clones that look too different or are deformed due to genetic degradation, you can think of them as being like 99 but being the precursors to the bad batch. As stated earlier it’s a mix between canon and non canon clones. As of right now there are

Two canon clones - Captain Vaughn and Commander Blackout

I have not drawn Commander Blackout but he has aniridia which is an eye condition where there is little to no pupil in the iris, causing vision issues. For him it’s not too severe, he needs some corrective measures in his helmet but can see even without them, but he does have light sensitivity and often gets migraines due to fluctuating pressure changes behind his eyes. He also has incredibly dark eyes and blackout styled tattoos that start from his upper back then go down to his pecs and down his arms, also has some on his calves.

Vaughn I have drawn- he has vitiligo that in the photo mainly collects on his face with multiple different layers of different skin pigmentation showing, but it is a full body thing (it even goes to his hair). But it’s one of the main reasons he keeps his helmet it on for long periods of time

There’s 4 non canon clones right now: Whiteout, Zombie, Caid, and Discovery. Both Whiteout and Zombie have sketches but Discovery and Caid don’t.

Caid (Kade)

Caid’s thing is that he is completely mute due to the fact that his larynx never developed. He’s got some skin warping and scarring over his throat from it. He has quite of a few scars over his face and notably knuckles because he throws himself into every battle. He’s a little spicy and sassy. you can think of him as Bumblebee from the transformer series if you’ve seen that. Right now his backstory is a little wobbly but everyone in the oddball squad usually has multiple facets of training if they can. Caid mainly works as a nursery care taker and watching over the tubies and the other very young clones but he also goes on high stake reconnaissance missions to gather intel. The way he communicates is mainly though GHS (Galactic Hand Signing- my SW version of an international sign language) and he also has short field commands embedded into the com device in his vambrace (he usually has a data pad on him too to type out anything he needs).

Discovery

Discovery has two major deformities that affect his arms; his left arm barely ever developed and ends mid bicep and his right arm stops just after his elbow for a few inches. For this he was given cybernetic replacements but he’s mostly used as a lab rat for testing, he doesn’t like it but it hardly squashes his never ending child like curiosity with the world he’s been exposed to. Usually getting him in trouble with Vaughn and frequently visiting Whiteout, the medic.

Whiteout/ CT-8651

Whiteout has full albinism, from his skin to his eyes, and while they aren’t true twins- he and blackout consider themselves ones as they have been in the squadron the longest. Whiteout specializes in being a medic but also does pretty well with a sniper. He’s incredibly soft spoken and sweet and occasionally gets a stutter but he’s trying his best. Especially with Zombie watching over him now he feels safer to stand up for himself.

Zombie

now .. the zombie explanation has to be a little lighter for the sake of ages and tumblr. I cant sugar coat this exactly but I won’t go into the nasty details.. Zombie got his name dude to the fact he was put back together with parts that belonged to other squad members. It was a suicide mission and none of them came back alive but they were used in an experiment by one of Nala Se’s apprentices. He got his name zombie 1) from his lack of talking 2) his usually stone cold or mildly agitated exterior and 3) from the fact his scarring show off how he was literally stitched back together.

He wasn’t originally part of the oddball squad since on his original body his only odd thing was the fact he and green eyes but after he comes back he very quickly gets pulled into it. He has an absolute soft spot for Whiteout and is the equivalent to scary attack dogs with separation anxiety

Whiteout and Zombie as of right now will eventually be tagged on to 104th with Wolffe and Caid might be going into 212th or works mostly under them for missions.

that’s all for now lovelies, thank you for reading!💕

[shimmeringweeds]

Pondering the thematic decision to rip the hope from our hands in the season one finale. The show begins soft and balanced. Then emotion comes crashing down hard before the expectation of hope rises again. Up and up and up and up......! just to be snatched away at the literal last minute.

Chasing elusive hope is a major theme of this story. So here I want to explore: how does hope relate to these character's fates?

To play with some thematic personification here, let’s reintroduce the Triple Star Warriors: Courage, obliterating fear (represented by Lu Guang); Justice, rekindling hope (represented by Cheng Xiaoshi); Wisdom, light the way (represented by Qiao Ling.) Do you remember what strongest attack of the Warrior of Justice is? "It's the heart of hope! Give me the power of Justice!"

Season two’s finale showed "Courage” desperately trying to defend "Justice," who is in danger of being lost. Meanwhile "Wisdom" is trapped in thought, keeping her light dim while desperately trying to find the justice, the truth, buried under hard facts.

Desperately. The word "desperation" comes from the Latin "de"-without, and "spes"- hope. 绝望 - the mandarin word for despair, also means “to give up hope.” Falling into despair means you have lost hope. To pick yourself back up out of that bleak darkness, that hole, takes courage. We say, "the only way out is up." But when you have the power to go back in time, accompanied by grief and regrets, how do you know what direction that is?

The hole of despair has multiple paths. Perhaps the only thing you can do by yourself is pick one direction and stubbornly stick to it. You're not wandering. You have a path, and with a little hope, you believe you've picked the right direction.

But actually, every path leads to an exit, good or bad, though all will be difficult to travel. Some are dark and ridden with traps and setbacks to prevent you from moving on. Many twist and turn, going up and down, connecting with other dangerous paths along the way. A few paths are safe but endless and steep. You pick one and you walk, you run, you fall, you get thrown back; but you've come so far you can't possibly start over. You're chasing this hope, specifically, and you want it. The thought of turning around and finding new hope is too much. So you persist. Is this persistence out of courage, or is it out of fear?

Which choice truly overcomes fear? Persisting desperately down a path of traps, facing regrets head on towards the hope and light you chose? or turning away, making peace, and beginning the steep, bittersweet climb towards a new life?

And how many carrots of hope will be dangled and snatched away in the process? How many times are you willing try? Won't giving up and turning around just drive you deeper and deeper into despair?

"The heart of hope. Give me the power of justice." If Cheng Xiaoshi is "Justice," then who is his heart of hope? and vice versa? You know, no one said you had to escape the hole of despair and regrets alone. Sometimes a friend or two jumps down after you.

To pursue justice takes courage. To side with justice takes more courage. In an unjust world, justice cannot exist without courage. Fear prevents justice from acting.

It's a good thing, then, that Courage is dead set on this path to protect Justice. Even better, Justice stands as a heart of hope on one side of Courage, while Wisdom lights the way on his other.

..... but, Justice will always follow the righteous path. Courage cannot determine what that is. Wisdom will always choose to shine her light on Justice and those who choose to follow him, wherever he may go. "Fear" can still guide Courage to look away from Wisdom's light, and betray what Justice stands for.

Justice rekindles hope. And Courage must face whatever hope Justice is want to bring.

[arvandus]

‼️JJK SEASON 2 SPOILERS WARNING ‼️

So normally I view shipping as kind of a fun silly thing to do when part of a fandom. Like yeah it’s be cute if these two characters ended up together but obviously that relationship isn’t the focus of the story and the creator focuses on the progression of the plot and conflict with the protagonist and antagonist, etc. So I’ve never really had an otp before, just a handful of ships that I’m like “yeah that makes sense and it’d be cute and stuff but I wouldn’t harass other fans and content creators about it”.

But…

SatoSugu is on a whole different level. For the first time you can’t convince me that Satoru and Suguru weren’t romantically involved with one another… I mean, the two are literally soulmates. Yin and Yang. One cannot exist without the other. Darkness in the light and light in the darkness. The betta fish in the outro for season two representing their tragic fate is perfect. Satoru follows the path of the black, sickly betta fish (representing Suguru and his struggle with depression) with concern, while Suguru barely acknowledges the white, healthy betta fish (representing Satoru and his constant upward progress). Male betta fish cannot be kept in the same tank because they are bred to be fighters (both of their powerful family lineage and high expectations placed upon them) and eventually one will kill the other (and we know how that went).

Fate of the Stars by Tally Hall plays in my head whenever I think of them. I feel it’s fitting and kinda sounds like an auditory version of Gojo’s Infinity, but also Geto’s descent into madness. Anyway I felt I needed to ramble bc I can’t explain this to anyone irl without going insane bc I love them so much. Like I got a really nice gojo figurine and there’s a matching Geto one coming out next year and I gotta get it obviously so they can be together on my shelf all happy.

(*´꒳`*)

Oh boy anon, I am so with you. I don't think their relationship will ever be given an explicitly canon romantic label (they never are sadly), but this is honestly the closest we'll get to it. Regardless, we all know that the history is there, the dichotomy, the light vs. dark and yin vs. yang. It's a story about tragedy, about love lost (whether romantic or not, although bruh... *gestures wildly*).

It's all the little details that went into their relationship to each other that really stand out for me. Like in the latest episode when Getou requests something sweet because he knows that Gojo will have some of whatever he gets. Like, not only does that tell us that they share food regularly (or more like gojo takes it lol), but that Getou is constantly considering Gojo's desires when it comes to his own decision making. He knows him better than anyone, and vice versa. It's what makes Getou's downfall so hard to take. Getou always requires purpose to everything, he's all about rules. He's incredibly disciplined. So to have someone who seems so incredibly rock solid turn around and make the decisions he made... It must have gutted Gojo. Because Gojo can understand it even though he doesn't want to, and it holds a mirror up to his own darkness, his own potential for violence. And with his ability, that would be catastrophic. So now Gojo is forced to step into Getou's shoes against Getou who used to be his rock. ASDF;ALSJFA I could go on forever about it.

For me, I find angsty pleasure in the tragedy of perhaps they weren't official; perhaps they never reached a point where they could explicitly express their feelings for each other before everything went south. But they were both aware of it, and its that energy that follows them everywhere until Getou's end, and it continues to follow Gojo even now. It's about regret, and loss, and loving even though we shouldn't anymore, because we can't erase their memory. It's about mourning what could-have-been, it's about hope and how it leads us astray, and it's about repercussions and consequences. It's all very human, tragic, and beautiful.

[hmeweekly]

Week 4

Class Reflection

This week we went through the presentation. I aimed to do “astonishing” but my understanding was more like “surprise”. It’s not easy to create a 3-minute sound clip for a beginner so I decide to use existed music/sound.

Research

i.Academic Research

Sievers, B. R., & Wheatley, T. (2021). Rapid dissonant grunting, or, but why does music sound the way it does? The Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 44, e111–e111. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0140525X20001284

“…we propose that connections between sound, movement, and emotion are an additional source of functional fixedness. If one function of emotion is to bias agents toward context-appropriate action (Frijda, Kuipers, & Ter Schure, 1989), then the path from action predisposition to functional fixedness is short. If high-arousal states make characteristically low-arousal movement difficult (and vice versa), and if high-arousal movements produce sounds that distinguish them from low-arousal movements, then sounds should credibly signal both the movement that produced them and the sound producer's state of mind. Rapid dissonant grunting is, therefore, bad lullaby material – not because it fails to signal attention, proximity, or responsiveness, but because it signals that the caregiver is in a high-arousal state inappropriate for the context (e.g., bedtime).”

“Supporting this account, we have shown that music and movement share a dynamic structure, such that the same combinations of music and movement features express the same emotions across cultures (Sievers, Polansky, Casey, & Wheatley, 2013). Furthermore, harsh timbres and spiky movement contours (both quantified using the spectral centroid) are reliably used in the expression and perception of high-arousal emotion (Sievers, Lee, Haslett, & Wheatley, 2019). Interestingly, Filippi et al. (2017) have shown that harsh timbres are used to express high-arousal by many species of terrestrial vertebrate, suggesting the sound–emotion connection is evolutionarily ancient, fitting the proposed timeline of the credible signaling hypothesis.”

ii. Creative Practice

Light Painting by Janne Parviainen

"Light painting and light drawing are ways of photography where photo is manipulated with different kind of light sources while the camera is exposing on a long exposure time in a dark or lowly lit place. The idea of the light painting is that all photos should be straight from the camera, without any post editing such as Photoshop, etc."

Janne Parviainen chooses an abandoned mansion forest as his shooting location. He paints suspicious characters and skeletons with colored flashlights to prompt audience inquiry and speculation.

iii. Technique Research

Setting luminance differences between primary and secondary figures to highlight the major.

Project Progress

Finished the presentation part.

[v-l-d-s]

Shadow Master

Rogues that wish to gain membership in the furtive Order of Shadow Masters must perform twelve trials, train relentlessly, and undergo the Umbral Rite, a ritual of profound darkness that severs their shadow from their heels. In return, they grow pale and gaunt with empty holes for eyes, but can manipulate the shadows as one does a marionette. They can summon inky blackness and see through impenetrable night, while their shadows skulk about the walls and floors, doing their every bidding.

ABYSSAL EYES When you choose this archetype at 3rd level, your eyes change to an inky black, granting you darkvision out to a range of 60 feet. If you already have darkvision, its range increases by 60 feet.

RELEASE SHADOW Starting at 3rd level, you can use a bonus action to magically detach your shadow from your body, allowing it to move independently. Your shadow is a flat, perfectly black silhouette of you that crawls along surfaces. It has AC 10, 1 hit point, and immunity to all conditions. It is the same size as you, albeit perfectly flat, and can occupy the same space as other creatures, and vice versa. If your shadow makes a saving throw or an ability check to interact with the environment, it uses your bonus for the roll. In combat, your shadow acts on your turns and follows your commands. You can command your shadow on each of your turns to move up to 30 feet along the walls or floor (no action required). Your shadow doesn’t attack, but can interact with objects and counts as an ally for the purposes of Sneak Attack. Your shadow vanishes if it drops to 0 hit points, if it is within the area of light created by a spell of 1st level or higher, or if it is ever more than 60 feet from you. Once it vanishes, your shadow reappears at your heels at the end of your next turn. If your shadow enters a heavily obscured area or one of magical darkness, it is effectively invisible. Your shadow can appear to be the shadow of other creatures and act convincingly using your Charisma (Performance) or Charisma (Deception) skill.

GLOAMING BLACK At 9th level, you can cast the spell darkness without using a spell slot or spell components. When you use this feature, you can see through the darkness created by this spell. Additionally, when your shadow enters this area of darkness, you can choose for it to grow to fill the entire area. Once you use this ability, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

SHADOW PUPPET Starting at 13th level, your shadow can reach out to the shadows of other creatures, interacting with them as if they were physical. If your shadow is within 5 feet of the shadow of another creature, you can use your bonus action to command it to use one of the following abilities: • Your shadow makes an attack against the shadow of another creature. Your shadow uses Dexterity for its attack rolls and has proficiency with its shadowy weapons. On a hit against the creature’s AC, the creature takes 2d6 damage. This damage counts as magical and its type matches the weapon you are carrying if it deals bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing damage, or deals bludgeoning damage otherwise. • Your shadow grapples the shadow of another creature. Your shadow can use your Dexterity (Acrobatics) check for its grapple check and the target makes its grapple check as normal. If your shadow succeeds, the creature is grappled until the end of its next turn. • Your shadow hooks onto the heels of another creature, becoming its second shadow until the end of its next turn. If you see the creature make an attack while your shadow is on its heels, you can use your reaction to cause the shadow to leap in the way, becoming the target of the attack.

SHADOWDANCE By 17th level, your body has absorbed much of the shadowstuff that prevails in the darkest planes of existence, allowing you to mingle with your shadow as if you were a creature of its kind. You can use your bonus action to swap places with your shadow, both of you teleporting in a dim haze. Once you use this ability, you can use it once more before the end of your turn without using a bonus action. If you teleport into an area of dim light or darkness, you have advantage on the first melee attack you make before the end of the turn while you are in that area.

[ichayalovesyou]

THE BIG VULCAN BIOLOGY POST (aka Vulcan is a Hell Planet)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a biologist, astrophysicist, neurologist, animal psychologist or literally anything that would qualify me to talk about this with 100% confidence. This is the result of dozens of headcanons and obsessive deep dive research. I don’t want this post to be three miles long, so after I address the planetary stuff I will oblige y’all with a Read More.

Adsfasdkfjhaslkdfh I’ve been working on this post for almost a month SO HERE WE GO!

First of all, Vulcan (aka T’Khasi) is a HELL PLANET, which is part of the reason they’re so badass, I say this for the following reasons:

No moon(s) (natural satellites)

Sodium (Salt) is so rare on the planet that Vulcan’s oceans are freshwater

It’s a “Super-Earth” (as in big chonkin’ planet of similar composition to earth in the “goldilocks region”)

Let’s do this.

“Vulcan has no moon Ms. Uhura.”

-Spock, The Man Trap

Tons of things change about our planet if there was no moon:

Much darker nights (no moonlight)

Much lower sea levels since there is no gravity from the moon to pull it upward.

Lower and weaker tides because the water is pulled by the sun instead of the moon, and it depends on how large the Vulcan solar system’s sun is for how big the waves are.

Stronger winds from faster planet rotation.

Depending on whether the axis of the planet would straighten or tilt further without the moon’s pull, combined with the faster rotation would lead to more severe seasons (strong tilt) or no seasons at all (no tilt)

The first factor may lead to Vulcan eyes being very catlike even if they aren’t nocturnal (I think they’re crepesucular but we’ll get into that later). Which given the likely nature of their blood and their herbivorous eating habits they probably aren’t. The sky would still be so dark that our human eyes couldn’t even see our hands in front of us, being blind when the sun goes down could be a death sentence. Alternatively, if they didn’t develop strong night vision that may be one of the reasons why they have such strong senses of hearing.

The stronger winds, faster rotation, and stronger (or nonexistent) seasons come from the lack of resistance and friction that stronger tides and the moon’s pull create on our planet. I suspect that Vulcan is larger, or at least denser than Earth, but I’ve been informed that according to the TMP novelization that it does rotate faster. I also think that Vulcan’s tilt is on the more extreme end to get the hostile extremes like storms and heat that we see on Vulcan.

If you look at this image of Vulcan, water covers way less of the planet’s surface than Earth. I don’t think this is necessarily because Vulcan has less water, but that it isn’t spread as far because of the lack of moon, and the fact that the oceans are freshwater, I’ll get into that shortly.

“My ancestors spawned from a different ocean than yours.”

-Spock, The Man Trap

In the Star Trek: The Original Series (third) pilot The Man Trap, there is a creature that kills its victims by draining their bodies completely of salt. Spock encounters the creature but does not die, implying his (and Vulcans overall) body contains little to no salt. His justification is that his species did not evolve from a salinized ocean.

What does it mean to have oceans with no salt?

This has to mean that sodium is a very rare mineral on Vulcan, as the reason our oceans are so salinized is due to erosion of minerals by rainfall, carried from river to ocean. Salt in the ocean is also generated by submarine volcanic activity, which means either that the volcanoes on Vulcan (which we definitely know exist) somehow don’t produce salt, or the vast majority of the submarine volcanoes have been inactive for millions if not billions of years. The active volcanoes on Vulcan must be very far inland and/or Vulcan has almost no rivers, which given how hot the planet is, wouldn’t actually be too much of a stretch of the imagination.

Which means every single lifeform on T’Khasi, including Vulcans, evolved biosystems that exist without (or with very little) salt content. Any salt that exists would likely be deep beneath the planet’s surface, and within volcanoes.

No saltwater has a ton of consequences:

Plants (like underwater algae) are rarer and may not photosynthesize the same way Earth plants do, meaning less oxygen and more carbon dioxide, which means more greenhouse effect, which means higher temperatures.

The lack of salt would also mean less diverse plant life (at least as humans know it) and given the lack of visible rivers and vast swaths of desert on Vulcan, we can safely say vegetation must be hardier and infrequent.

Lower sea levels as the oceans would have lower density due to lack of salt.

Little to no water convection, which salt is crucial for on Earth. Which means warm ocean water doesn’t move to cold regions and vice versa. Creating extremes, the equator being obscenely hot, and polar waters freezing at the poles more extensively.

Lack of convection means more frequent and stronger storms like hurricanes.

If you thought the lack of a moon made Vulcan inhospitable, compound it with the low sodium factor and you’ve got a planet of even more severe extremes than before. The heat, and the decrease of plant diversity definitely explain why the vast majority of Vulcan is rocky desert, even being near the water poses more extreme dangers than it would on earth due to the increased frequency of hurricanes.

“Mr. Spock is much stronger than an ordinary human being.”

-Kirk, This Side of Paradise

I am almost 100% sure that Vulcan is either bigger or denser than Earth. Which would explain why Vulcans are so much stronger than Humans and other species that exist on similar gravity worlds.

Effects of a high-gravity planet or “Super-Earth” include:

Everything is shorter or has very strong foundations, plants, animals, structures, and people.

More “Armageddon” class asteroids would hit the planet (like the one that killed the dinosaurs and created the Gulf of Mexico)

Larger liquid mantle under the planet’s surface, higher pressure under the surface as well.

Weaker magnetic field due to lack of convection in the planet’s core (not to be confused with the mantle interacting with the planet’s crust). Which means a weaker atmosphere, lower magnetism in surface metals, and increased vulnerability to solar flares.

More volcanically and seismically active due the the increase in the mantle’s size and generated heat, more earthquakes, and more volcanic eruptions.

Would have to have a smaller sun but be closer in orbit to it than earth.

Extremely deep oceans, potentially with water under so much pressure at the bottom that it becomes solid like ice. Luckily Vulcan is not an ocean world, because the pressure would block the planet’s core from interacting with the atmosphere, which would prevent life as we know it from happening.

There is plenty of evidence for this on so many levels. We never see any plant life similar to trees on Vulcan. Nor animals significantly larger than Vulcans, the ones that are bigger are much more muscular. Vulcan’s sky is more red than blue because of the lack of oxygen molecules for the light from the sun to filter as blue. I actually headcanon that Spock is unusually tall for a Vulcan because of his human heritage (Leonard Nimoy was around 6ft tall) , and may have had heart and muscle problems in his teens and early adulthood while on Vulcan.

Perhaps Vulcans are the result of many more extinction level events than we are, contributing to their hardiness. Perhaps they are, evolutionarily, not too much older than we are, and had more incentive to develop extraterrestrial technology than we have, so that they could repel Armageddon Class meteors and defend their planet against Solar Flares? Space travel being born out of self-preservation rather than curiosity. Which would absolutely account for their attitudes in the beginning of Star Trek: Enterprise.

It could be that Vulcans still maintain a semi-nomadic lifestyle even today because their planet is so incredibly volatile. Unsentimental and utilitarian in anything less than the most sacred of architecture long before they adopted the teachings of Surak. Their own survival more valuable than any structure that would inevitably be damaged or destroyed by their planet’s harsh environment.

In summary, Vulcan is a Nightmare Planet because:

So, so many much natural disasters, like, so many, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, hurricanes, twisters, just, so many more than Earth.

Water is relegated to specific locations in the world rather than spread across it due to lack of flow and lower sea levels.

Extreme temperature changes, intense heat, intense cold, hard to breathe, stronger gravity.

Due to the planet’s hostility, there is a smaller diversity of life than we have here on earth, which means fewer and hardier food sources that, like Vulcans, are very difficult to kill.

So… How do they handle it? What features have they developed to adapt and thrive in such an inhospitable place?

First thing is first, lets talk about

BLOOD

“My hemoglobin is based on copper, not iron.”

-Spock, Obsession

Funny thing is Spock, it’s not hemoglobin at all! It’s hemocyanin! In fact, there are earth animals that have it, among them Horseshoe Crabs, crustaceans, mollusks and spiders!

Hemocyanin is blue when it hasn’t been exposed to oxygen, and blue-green when it has, according to some sources on Vulcans their blood is orangey red when unexposed to air and that’s why they have pink lips and so on, but we can brush that off as chemical variation within their hemocyanin. Better yet, maybe it’s trendy for Vulcans to wear pink lipstick nowadays, ‘cause Surak knows how horny Humans and Vulcans are for each other XD! Anyway!

Hemocyanin does quite a few things that our blood can’t, it’s uniquely built for high pressure, low oxygen environments, as well as endure temperature extremes like cold (not unlike nights on their planet). Not only that, but it coagulates and clots WAY faster than our blood. Which means wounds seal themselves off from harmful bacteria and stop bleeding much faster than hemoglobin. Pair that with the Vulcan ability to enter a healing torpor, no wonder Spock keeps surviving environments and wounds that would definitely have killed a human.

Now, the animals I listed don’t have veins, which for us carry oxygen around via hemoglobin, so it’s possible that the same difference that causes Vulcan blood to be a coppery orange-red beneath the skin, is the same reason they have veins. Allowing them to look more like us and lack the exoskeletons and deep ocean delving that their earth blood cousins have.

“The ship’s temperature is increasingly uncomfortable for me. I’ve adjusted the environment in my quarters to 125 degrees.”

-(Elderly) Spock, The Deadly Years

Oh goodie, the Vulcan blood temperature discourse has arrived, the age old question, are Vulcans warm-blooded or cold-blooded? The answer to this question is

YES

I am firmly in the small (but hopefully growing) camp Vulcans Are Heterothermic. Among the earth animals we know to be heterothermic are bumblebees, several species of bats, the opah fish, and the arctic ground squirrel. Of all these animals, despite the opposite temperature intensity of Vulcan’s environment, I’m basing how Vulcans function on the last one, the arctic squirrel.

Which means they can deliberately control their body temperature in accordance to the needs of their survival. I imagine, just as arctic ground squirrels can drop their body below zero as needed (entering what is called a “daily torpor”) Vulcans can do the same. In turn, they could possibly skyrocket their bodies to temperatures that would be a lethal fever for humans. Which makes both McCoy’s “nonexistent Vulcan metabolism” comments in various episodes, as well as describing his blood as “ice water” make sense. As well as Spock being able to handle the heightened body temperature caused by Henoch in “Return to Tomorrow”. It also explains why Spock was in far better shape than Bones in the freezing temperatures of the planet from “All Our Yesterdays”.

However, like arctic squirrel newborns, they start out as ectothermic (cold-blooded) which lends itself to the Vulcan infants needing even more skin to skin to survive than humans theory by @acesexualspock. Being born cold blooded would prevent them from immediately dying the second they were exposed to the dangerous extremes of Vulcan’s heat. I also think they slowly lose the ability to control their metabolic rate as they grow older, slowing down dramatically as they age, which is why Spock gets increasingly colder as he ages rapidly in “The Deadly Years”.

“The brightness of the Vulcan sun has caused the development of an inner eyelid.”

-Spock, Operation: Annihilate

I wanna thank @tribbleland for inspiring this part in particular.

I want to offer a special congratulations to furries people who let their love for anthro-cats bleed into their love for Vulcans, turns out Vulcans are very catlike! Like our feline Terran friends, Vulcans have what is called a Nicitating Membrane. It’s functions that would serve Vulcans well in their desert home include spreading moisture across the eye, protect the eye from small water and small debris (like sand for example), as well as protecting the eye from ultraviolet radiation, which is more or less what Spock said in that episode. Other animals that have Nicitating Membranes aside from felines is actually the majority of the animal kingdom, and primates (like us) are the exception and not the rule. I also subscribe to the idea that Vulcans have other desert dweller features like thick hair and eyelashes, sealable nostrils, big feet, a crepuscular sleep cycle (avoiding extreme midnight and midday temperatures), and a tough as nails digestive system!

As an added bonus fact since this section is pretty short: It makes purrfect sense for Vulcans to purr! In cats purring is an emotional regulator when they are angry or scared (Vulcans are ALL about regulating their emotions) as well as purring when they are happy. It is also a mechanism for healing themselves, their kittens, and their owners, the frequency at which cats purr (25-140 Hz) cover the same frequencies that are therapeutic for bone growth and fracture healing, pain relief, swelling reduction, wound healing, muscle growth and repair, tendon repair, and mobility of joints. I’m over here getting emotional about the mental image of like, Spock or Tuvok or smth sitting next to a wounded crewmember and just like, purring with a completely straight face and that is soft and just a little funny and I am emotionally compromised.

“And are it’s natives predatory?” “Not generally, but there have been exceptions.”

-Spock to Trelaine, The Squire of Gothos

Surprise! This isn’t just going to be about Vulcan dietary needs, it’s gonna be about animal behaviors and self-domestication as well! I was trying to think of herbivores that are capable of eating meat, and then this idea hit me like a bomb going of in my head-

Vulcans are like Hippos!

I don’t mean I think they used to be hippo-like (visually anyway) somewhere along the evolutionary line. I mean that they were probably big, extremely aggressive, pack roaming herbivores that are able to eat carrion when food is scarce. Have you ever seen a video of a group of Hippos smashing an alligator to smithereens? They kill more humans than any solitary predator on the African continent! What about a murder of crows killing a cat that injured one of them, or a group of bison saving a calf from a lion?! Herbivores can be insanely aggressive while still being social, plant-eating animals.

With that in mind, let’s talk about self-domestication! This is something that we humans (and to an extent, cats too) did way back in our biology according to some studies, we bred out aggression and bred in cooperativeness and curiosity. Cats, while partially domesticated by us, started looking for mates that were more sociable so that their offspring could exist closer to humans (and their food) as well as to tolerate other cats. While I do think Vulcans self-domesticated to a degree, I do not think they were able to do so nearly to the same extent as humans or our deliberately domesticated companions. Vulcan is a harsh, violent, and unforgiving planet, even more so than Earth, if Vulcans were naturally as friendly and curious as we Humans are now, they would not have survived as a species.

I believe this is why their emotions are so primal and strong, and things like Pon Farr and their unusually high wariness of the new and unexpected still exist so strongly. How do they live together in such high numbers and develop a functional society? They developed other means of coping as a work-around the impracticality of decreasing aggression!

“Call it a deep understanding of the way things happen to Vulcans.”

-Spock, The Immunity Syndrome

So, how do you have a species as aggressive, unforgiving, and frighteningly strong as Vulcans keep from completely destroying itself (aside from Surak’s teachings)? You take the empathy that humans already have, turn it up to 11, and tack on every evolutionary possibility to increase it. We already know how the Earth comparisons for Vulcan empathy: the extreme vitality of touch for the survival and emotional stability, cats purring to heal each other and themselves (and regulate emotions), nonverbal communication, the ancestral instincts of an infant animal being able to walk days after its born. What if we had all of these traits in remarkable spades, Vulcans certainly seem to! (Be prepared, the science starts getting a little squidgy because there are no real world comparisons and neurology research is very jargon heavy)

Electricity is a fundamental part of the biology of nearly all living things, it allows synapses to fire, regulates our internal organs, and gives us our senses of touch and movement. Skin to skin is so incredibly vital to the survival of infants, and the emotional stability for adults, that needing any more touch could be impractical and counterintuitive. So what if we got more from less? What if our sense of touch, and the acuteness of being able to read the emotions of others from body language and touch manifested as a form of what looks like from an outsider’s perspective, telepathy!

Now what if the radius of the sensation of touch could be extended much farther, say being able to sense someone to the same intensity I described in the last paragraph, like, through a wall or from across a room? What if you could connect to other lifeforms with the same ability like a chain circuit that could connect a whole species together in one giant circuitboard? I just described what Vulcans call the kwar’ma’khon, the telepathic energy that connects all Vulcans to each other!

Imagine having this same intense telepathic connection to someone for an extended period of time, like a t’hy’la or Bond Mate. What if you had a relatively easy to master non-lethal attack against other members of your species, that comes to you easily due to your intrinsic understanding of nerves and touch, like the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. In turn, what if, through the intensity of this connection you could transfer everything you knew and saw and felt to another person in the event of your death. That way, if you survived the harshness of your world without dying violently or unexpectedly, you could deliberately pass on that knowledge and those instincts to your next of kin, like the Katra. (thanks @distractedducky @spacedancer1701 & @find-me-in-outer-space)

Now, that’s A LOT of empathy on top of A LOT of aggression, if you don’t have a work around for any of these, as a species you’d be rendered a complete emotional wreck pretty much 24/7 (or whatever the time cycles for Vulcan are). Which is where @ineffablebuddies theory that Vulcans can control, or at least mitigate their incredibly strong emotional reactions the same way they control their nervous system and metabolic rate. Which is how they are able to be touch telepathic, able to enter a torpor at will, and be heterothermic in the first place. The only reason Vulcans come off as unemotional to us is because we simply do not see and feel the way that they can. Unlike us, because of their ability to control their own internal chemistry, if they follow Surak’s teachings and/or Syrranite ideology, they can take that emotional regulation to the extreme.

(BIG EXHALE) Congratulations on getting through this insanely long post! I hope you enjoyed it, if you want sources on any of my non-tumblr post research just let me know in the notes. LLAP! 💚🖖🏻💚

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

Patch Me Up

Pairing - Vampire!Diluc x Fem!Reader

Warnings - 18+ NSFW, Blood kink obviously, marking kink, biting kink, sharp teeth BARK BARK, fingering, semi public sex??? I mean you guys were in a different room but it was still in a public establishment lol,

Word Count - 1.9k

Other Comments - Bro this idea was just way way way too good to pass up shout out to the anon who requested this because you know what's up; you got some good ass taste. And yes this does have Twilight vibes, what about it.

Ask - VAMPIRE DILUC SMUT I FUCKING BEG YOU

Diluc was a very secluded man, always keeping up thick walls, borderline impossible to penetrate; but there was something about you. You enraptured him, always wearing a bright kind smile when you saw him. Most people found his stand off-ish personality jarring, to which they regarded him with side eyes and cold shoulders unless asking for alcohol.

He looked forward to when you would come into his tavern, it was easy to spark up conversation. You quickly became one of his regulars when you first came into the tavern a few months ago. At first he regarded you with the same cold yet professional tone he regarded most of his customers with; but when you weren’t put off by it and asked how his day had been he was surprised to say the least. After that it was always a high point of his day asking you how your adventures were.

Today was different. You strolled into the tavern at your usual time, but when that door opened a strong delicious scent washed over Diluc. It made his mouth water and his throat burn. When he looked up to see what was going on, to see the cause of his bodily reactions, he saw you limping in; bruises and cuts covering your exhausted body. This was bad. You smelled way too good.

Diluc’s hands became clammy under his gloves, and a sheen of sweat formed on his forehead. He wanted- no, needed, to taste you. To drink you. You smelled almost candy-like, similar to when all of the sweet flowers came to bloom; but better. Diluc’s fists curled into tight balls behind the counter as you approached. He wanted to tell you to leave, to stop walking towards him, but he couldn’t bring himself to.

Were it anyone else and he would’ve quickly been able to shut down the issue by telling them to go see someone who could patch them up first, but this was you. There was something else too, something in the back of his mind. He was worried for you.

“Hey, how’s my favorite bartender doing?” Your voice was raspy, from what exactly Diluc didn’t know, but he wasn’t surprised from seeing your current state. Something in him warmed when you said that though.

“Uh, fine. More importantly, shouldn’t Barbara be patching you up? Why are you in my tavern bleeding on my floors.” Diluc tried to make his voice harsh, but it came out more sarcastic and joking. You chuckled in response to his statement.

“What, you can’t help me?” Diluc stiffened. You wanted him to help you? Why? He has shown no knowledge of medicine, let alone any real concern for you.

“I have no knowledge of medicine, why would you want me to patch you up?” Diluc was more than confused. There were so many other people you knew who were so much more capable of helping you. He was starting to get irritated, not particularly by you, but by your scent. It was driving him crazy and he was surprised he was able to keep his composure as well as he was right now.

“Listen you need to get help before you come in and drink (y/n). Not only are you obviously tired and hurt, you smell.” Shit. Shit you were gonna get suspicious of him and-

“No shit I smell! I’ve been sweating up a storm fighting things, Master Diluc.” Diluc was taken aback by your words, which seemed to be a running theme tonight. You just wouldn’t stop saying the oddest things.

“You’re not going to leave unless I help you, aren’t you?” You smiled victoriously as you shook your head ‘no’. Diluc sighed, as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He just had to get through this, then everything would stop. All the saliva, the burning of his throat, the sweating, the desire for you.

It was only when Diluc retrieved a few bandages from the emergency kit he had prepared and he began bandaging up your various cuts, did he notice just how attractive you were. Diluc had removed his gloves, and your skin was so soft under his surprisingly delicate fingers. He wanted to make sure he didn’t cause any discomfort to you, so he treated you like a thin sheet of glass.

There was a softness to him that he didn’t think existed anymore. He didn’t think he was capable of being so gentle with someone. You somehow brought out the best in him, in just the short time you’ve known each other. He never thought he would be able to get so close to someone again. Fuck he really liked you.

“Diluc, you don’t have to be so gentle with me; clearly I can take a beating.” A chuckle rumbled deep in the man’s chest, his crimson eyes never leaving the injury he was dressing.

“Pardon me for wanting you to be comfortable.” You giggled, and it was the most melodic noise he’d ever heard. He wanted to hear you laugh more.

Despite the soft atmosphere, there was still something primal deep within Diluc. He could feel it grow with the more time he spent taking in your delicious scent. If Diluc could blush, he was sure his face would be deep red by now. He wanted to take you right here and now, in the cellar where he kept all his beverages that weren’t needed behind the counter. He delicately moved some of your hair out of your face so he could get to a small scrape on your left cheek. He saw a blush rise to the high points of your cheeks, which only egged on his desire for you. All he could do was stare deep into your eyes. You were breathtaking.

Within seconds both or your lips collided together in a heated kiss. It was fierce and heartfelt. His hands grabbed at your body for purchase, and vice versa. It had the both of you panting, with each intake of oxygen you sent wafted over him stronger than ever before; you were like an addictive perfume. Without thinking Diluc pulled away, staring at your flushed face.

“Let me taste you, fuck I need to mark you up. Make you mine.” You nodded your head feverishly. Diluc’s mouth attacked your neck within seconds of your response, and suddenly his teeth punctured your skin. You blood landed on his tongue and he was addicted. You were his new favourite drug. You tasted exactly like he’d imagine, sweet and light; something he’d never get enough of.

“D..Diluc what-” Before you could finish your sentence, Diluc’s mouth unlatched from your neck, some of your blood smudged at the corner of his mouth.

“Shit (y/n) I apologize, you just.. Fuck you taste so good. I mean you smell so sweet but you taste even better I couldn’t control myself.”

“Diluc, are you like a vampire or something?” You chuckled a little, voice still a little breathy. By the tone of your voice, Diluc knew you meant that as a joke but when he didn’t respond the look on your face changed. The silence weighed heavy on top of Diluc, borderline suffocating. Diluc couldn’t meet your gaze.

“Keep going.” Your voice was soft, just above a whisper, as you moved your head to expose your neck even more. Diluc’s gaze snapped back up immediately to yours, then down to your neck. Then his gaze drifted further down. He was hard.

He attacked your neck once more, getting taken away but how good you tasted. After a few moments, a small moan escaped your lips, so quiet that Diluc would’ve missed it were he not have been hyper aware of your breathing. Once again Diluc’s mouth left your neck, but this time his hands started to roam down towards your pants. He stopped just before unbuttoning them.

“Is… is this alright (y/n)?” You didn’t even respond verbally, just nodding enthusiastically before gripping onto his shoulders. Without anymore hesitation Diluc unbuttoned your pants and almost ripped them off of you. He quickly pinned up against the wall of the cellar, as he pulled your panties to the side and rubbed your clit. Your breath hitched in your throat, before a low moan escaped your lips.

Fueled on by your noise, Diluc retracted his hand from your clit and shoved two of his fingers into your already sopping cunt.

“Fuck baby, you’re so wet already.” His fingers worked you open, as his dick strained against his uncomfortably tight slacks. He was becoming impatient, but he wanted to make sure you were nice and open so he didn’t hurt you. After a few more minutes of fingering, he could tell you were starting to become impatient as well.

“Diluc please, I need you. I need to feel you deep. Ah fuck Diluc please.” The strain in your voice when you said please shot straight to his dick, and who was he to refuse you? A dark smile graced his usually stoic features, and you shivered with anticipation. Diluc pulled his fingers out of you, before he licked his fingers clean. Everything about you was just so fucking delicious. Soon enough Diluc freed his hard cock from his pants. There was precum beading on the tip.

He picked you up, lifting you over his cock, before slowly lowering you down. Once you were finally sat right at the base of his dick, your back was once again pressed up against the wall, as he started to finally thrust in and out of you. It was slow for only a few moments, before he began a punishing pace. His hand had already gone to cover your mouth, muffling your loud moans. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to last long, you were so tight, but it seemed you were in a similar boat, as your walls constricted around him.

Your moans were growing in volume and pitch as you got closer and closer to the edge, and Diluc’s breathing was becoming labored, letting out low groans and growls. Before either of you knew it, both of you were cumming. Before you could finish, Diluc sunk his teeth into your neck one more time. He rocked both of you through your orgasms, before pulling away and setting you back down on the ground. He made sure to keep an arm around you though, just in case your legs decided to give out.

Slowly but surely both of you began to dress yourselves again; attempting to make yourselves presentable. After a few moments of silence, you spoke.

“So you’re a vampire. Do you have any cool powers?” You had a lopsided smile on your face, as Diluc chuckled and softly nudged your shoulder. You really were something else.

[sterlingarcher23]

-Foils: El & Henry-

Certain aspects have become more clear in the last couple of months, so some elements in these posts are a bit outdated or better would need additional information/clarification. The overall/basic ideas are the same, it just turned out to have a bit more "texture".

Season 4 established Henry/One and El/Eleven as opposite characters, so called foils.

The visuals for this are in their number-tattoos 00I and 0II which are written in circles and lines on their inner wrists.

Additionally there are clear visual elements like in the fight in the rainbow room in which El is standing in the right side up rainbow area. This is already foreshadowing El’s whereabouts in Season 5 and it symbolizes her meaning in contrast to Henry who is in the upside down side of the rainbow, both sides connected with each other on one side of the wall.

Both characters are made in a Yin-Yang style, that has small dots of the opposing colors, with both having a vestigial element of each other inside: One a single line and Eleven a single circle.

The most obvious inspirations are Raava and Vaatu from Legend of Korra (reference is a tweet by the Stranger Things writers from 2019 "my favorite ship is korrasami").

These spirits, Raava of light and peace, Vaatu of darkness and chaos, are inverses themselves. The duality is apparent through the fact that one can inverse their color schemes into negative images, meaning they are the exact opposite of one another and their names are made similar to One and Eleven:

Raava , coming from Sanskrit “ravah” meaning sound and Vaatu from “vatu”, silence. - On Vecna's clock over the main dial, there's even an inscription saying "silent".

Similar to Raava and Vaatu, El and Henry cannot really destroy each other. Darkness cannot exist without light and vice-versa. It has also been made clear during the D&D game at the start of S4: Eleven is a miss!

(El in the grey area of the field - Max's brain? - with a blue withered flower representing Max as in every couple in the shot one wears blue)

According to this and Brenner’s explanation that One/00I consumes. Including memories and abilities, taking everything that a person was and ever will be (the reason why Max is blind and cannot feel anything is he stole two sensory abilities ; probably also some memories), his foil Eleven/0II must therefore be able to do the opposite.

Henry absorbs people, making what they were part of him, fuses them to him - El fuses with people, both stay separate entities therefore.

It's a similar yet slightly different concept with Vaatu and Raava: Vaatu and Unalaq merge into a single entity ; Raava fuses with Korra but both are separate entities.

Part of this, that El does the opposite of Henry, was already in Season 4 when she revived Max and as it was implied (although it looks like she is only thinking of it) likely transfusing memories while doing that.

Anyway, what El did there was already a mirror image of what One/Henry does: while he killed Max by connecting to her mind and doing it in the mind lair, El revived Max in the void.

The mind lair and void are the visual representations of both Henry and El's mind.

One/Henry kills & takes. El/Eleven revives & gives.

Another hint was Dr. Owens who stated in his discussion with El, that “I believe you're the cure”

For what Henry does, El as Henry's foil is established in Season 4.

Plus:

It is therefore just logical that El is meant to reverse what Henry did to Max. However in her own way:

Where Henry absorbs other people and integrates them as part of himself, destroying them in the process, El would fuse with a person of her choosing, bestowing or sharing her memories and abilities, however she wouldn't be "consumed" in sense of being disaggregated (as consumption actually works) to fuel someone but stays a separate entity in the process while being linked to the other person.

Henry also developed a self healing ability but he can only heal himself ; El on the other hand could be able to do the reverse or something of a kind but unable to heal herself, only capable of healing others.

In Season 2 El touches her mother's hand to which she then reacted, an indication that El connected to Terry for a moment and while being connected repaired or circumvented the neural damage of her mother's brain. If Max losing her abilities of vision and touch is due to neural damage or that this damage is a concomitant effect of the psychic absorption, then it has been established through this moment that El can indeed do the opposite. - Something similar happened when El touched Billy's face.

It's likely that this happened because both, Terry and Billy, do have powers (it is true for Terry as far as we know?)

In both cases it was love and compassion that triggered something (powers and emotions as triggers are connected) during that connection and had an effect on the person been touched. And direct psychic link already showed that El is able to revive a person via mind over thousands of miles away - a constant connection from within a person would therefore permanently link/fuse El to/with another person, sharing memories, abilities, thoughts, experiences. Both benefit from this symbiosis. It is likely that El will mirror/parallel Sara's fate, bringing Hopper full circle. El's death has been hinted at for example through his monologue in Season 4, so the survival of her own consciousness is possibly connected to this fusion:

One body, two minds. It would then also come with some caveats or better make Elumax very "special". However bestowing or sharing sensory abilities gives Max substitute abilities to the ones she lost, seeing with El's eyes for example.

There are examples for this in e.g. Star Trek or Mass Effect Andromeda.

This fusion has also been visualized through several elements, from the blue and yellow shield, the diner/van window and even a complete moment in the shopping scene foreshadowed this.

Sharing her memories and abilities etc. would be an integral element of what El would do while bringing back Max ; only thing missing is that El needs to know of the whereabouts of Max's mind - El has to locate Max inside of the dimension she sent her to as the released script implies.

That dimension is in Max's brain... a mind-dimension. More in this post:

It's the only way, sadly it means El's death and a love that was never meant to be in reality - something that Vol2 also established, while Lucas fought for Max in reality, El fought for Max in the mind. Both are anchors of their respective realm of love for Max.

El's and Max's love is for the mind, the dreams... That's why it was shown to us that Max can cross into others minds/dimensions when she entered Henry's mind lair on her own. (Also hinting that Max is one of two kids of the forgotten test subjects of MKUltra)

Whatever the exact explanation would be, if ever talked about in detail in the show and not just visualized and explained via storytelling, the basic concept is technically simple and been laid out by establishing its Upside-down version/Henry psychically absorbing people and hinted at in parts through the possession of Will in Season 2 (there were elements they wanted to do in Season 2,they now want to use) - Stranger Things is full of parallels but more important are the mirrors: concepts and characters mirror each other.

So do Henry and El.

Sidenote: This explanation seems convoluted but the concept actually isn't - keep in mind that Stranger Things explains very little through characters giving a lecture but more making use of visual clues, actions of the characters and storytelling - how Henry kills and what's necessary to do his psychic absorption for example is explained via visuals and story and just a few lines from Dr Brenner whose dialog explained to us before it happened why Max can't feel or see.

It still confused people into thinking that Max's "soul" was after her death absorbed or traveled to Henry while the process is directly shown: he needs to concentrate and use the UD network to absorb a person. Both was not the case ; the death occurring at the spot opens the portal (see the fandom Wiki). Or that Max's loss of sight is a result of direct injury to her eyes when it was actually put in dialog what happened. - Still the basics of this were misunderstood by many. But those are established rules that only need to be mirrored now, similar to the UD and the mind dimension to which El sent Max's consciousness to.

Problem with Stranger Things is that it tends to distracts at times, uses subtext and communicates subconsciously. People were stunned and even angry that El revived Max, they saw it as a cheap Deus ex machina when in fact it wasn't due to the fact that El was established as Henry's opposite. - That alone is very telling in its own way of consuming media (yes, including me) but it also puts Stranger Things on a different level of entertainment. A professor of the New York University said that analyzing Stranger Things in this way is valid. He did an analysis of the use of cinematography in the TV-show "John Adams".

[frothingatthemaw]

DOING IT!!!! song link btw:

"hard to stay awake, i'm so exhausted" -> johnny and sunny are like... always tired because of their lives, but johnny does hide it better than sun

"hard to keep a friend, i guess i'm cautious" -> sunny and her autism and also she doesn't trust people in general..

"hide the pain inside, i don't endorse it" -> sunny because she doesn't wanna be a burden to anybody or cause "issues"

"i can't even cry, i guess i'll force it" -> only really messed up shit and a bunch of stress can make sunny cry, so i think she's forced tears for bits/stunts she's done before

"funny when my head caved it, i thought i'd lose it" -> could be taken as johnny in forever with his brain hemorrhage or could be sunny with mental health issues

"might have had a date with death, i guess i dodged it" -> jackass baby! you almost die around every corner

"i don't wanna feel this pain, i don't like distance" -> sunny hates when johnny has to leave for things like movies, press, etc.

"i don't wanna leave this place if you're not with us" -> this is about death. sunny doesn't wanna die unless johnny is with her and vice versa. this could also be about dunn's death (althouh this doesn't happen in the world of sunny)

"please don't leave this house, i don't like darkness" -> sunny feels like the world ends when johnny has to leave, she hates when he has to go

"i don't wanna see you out, i don't like darkness" -> it hurts sunny a lot when she sees headlines about him or paparazzi photos or videos of him being released while he's away

"hate it when i close my eyes, i don't like darkness" -> seems like when sunny closes her eyes all she sees is memories of her and her pj and it makes her sad and he's honestly inescapable

"and i don't wanna go outside, i don't like darkness" -> sunny misses johnny so bad that she feels like she can't exist without him and she just shuts down completely when he's gone

"darkness to light, i'll be forever gracious" -> OUGHHH... darkness to light meaning the change of johnny's hair as they got older. and sunny being so fucking happy her pj is still around and that he still chooses her

"although we don't talk, i'll miss our conversations" -> about bam and sunny talking less, he was a best friend to her and of course she misses him

"i fall apart, you fill up the empty spaces" -> despite sadness or whatever sunny feels, johnny is always a lighthouse for her, he's always a match in a dark room

"funny, now the rain comes down, i sit and watch it" -> meaning that sunny sits back more in her older age. like in jackass forever, she'd rather sit and watch everything rather than be attached at johnny's hip and try to be part of everything all the time

"every time i hear that sound, i get nostalgic" -> about 'here comes the sun' by the beatles

"even if you leave this place, your spirit's with us" -> in the universe that dunn does die, he would always exist because sunny makes sure he isn't forgotten and he is always on her mind

i wanna explain why “i don’t like darkness” by chase atlantic fits sunville so well BUTTTT i got shit to do and yet i am still listening to my playlist for them and having MASSIVE FUCKING BRAIN WORMS!!!!!!

[bookofmirth]

One thing that is a fact:

If it was really Azriel's shadows that Elain stepped out of, Feyre would've mentioned that. Feyre has seen Azriel's shadows and I just know that she would've said "Elain stepped out of one of Azriel's shadows". And no I don't want to hear "Feyre doesn't know his shadows" because the author does have to let us know what is going on. Or maybe Feyre should have said something like "smoking shadow"? It was never even mentioned again that it happened so how important is that moment really? What is important and shocking is that it was Elain who stabbed the enemy, not that Elain stepped out of a fricking shadow. The word "shadow" doesn't always apply to Azriel's shadows. The shadow that Sarah meant was probably just the King of Hybern's shadow or the shadow of something above Elain? You know these scenes in movies where the characters are coming out of a shadowy place? Where they come to the light and you see them clearly? It was most likely a scene like that and I will laugh at all those who thought this little word has some big meaning behind it when we'll see that scene on TV.

It also doesn't make any scenes? They would never leave Azriel, even if it was for a moment. They skitter back from Elain and isn't it already claimed that "Elain will make his shadows vanish because they're not good"? And how tf are they able to transport someone who isn't Azriel to another place? I never knew that they can do that because it never was mentioned before and after that scene.

Yes, Azriel can give orders to his shadows. He controls them, but wouldn't Feyre or anyone at least mentioned how Azriel had helped her? Wouldn't Azriel have mentioned that?

So what else is Sarah supposed to call those dark things if not "shadow" so everyone wouldn't think it's Azriel's shadows??

Sarah would just have to write about Elain pooping and some people would try to make her poop connect to Azriel because her poop is dark like Azriel?! Idk anymore...

Um, I just found this in my drafts from June, I'm so sorry 😅

---

This is an interesting point... sjm doesn't shy away from the shadow imagery in general, and so she is usually clear about when she's talking about Az's shadow and when it's just your run of the mill shadows. Doing a quick search of that word in acomaf and acowar, and you can see pretty quickly that it's one of her typical "light, dark, night, shadow, glow" etc.

I mean the alternative is Feyre to be like "Elain appeared, where did she come from!" Or perhaps "Elain tiptoed behind Hybern" or something like "Elain crouched behind and waited to attack". But you know what that does? It completely ruins the impact of the moment, the surprise that she is there. So yeah. She stepped out of the shadows, which is something people do when they are trying not to be observed.

Mor also steps out of a shadow in acomaf (this is why I put this in my drafts, I was trying to find the quote and I got tired lmao), Ianthe's face is described as being in shadow, Feyre "exploded into night and shadow". Az is a shadowsinger but much like Elain and roses, he did not invent shadows. He does not own the patent. Shadows exist without him and vice versa.

The reason that Elain stepped out of shadow is to emphasize that no one noticed her there. She hasn't been training with her own powers let alone someone else's so how in the world??? I wouldn't be surprised if she knew to be there to save Nesta because of her visions, but that's the extent of it.

And I've said this before and I'll say it again, it wasn't a big moment for Elain - she saved Nesta, but I am willing to bet she has nightmares about killing Hybern. We don't celebrate Feyre killing the faeries in acotar. She had nightmares about that, she got up in the middle of the night to be sick over it. If Elain hasn't been dealing with something similar, I will be fucking shocked pikachu.

ALSO I am adding something on, but if Elain actually did that, then why has no one said anything since? Like you mentioned that Feyre wasn't clear, but um, that's sort-of a conversation to have. And it's been a year. With nothing. Elain isn't training her own powers. And no one is somehow curious about how Elain supposedly used his shadows? Is this something that people do all the time? Is that why it's not remarkable? Or is it that she *didn't use his shadows*

[galadhremmin]

We have derived Caranthir liking the Dwarves (and vice versa) because apparently, Finrod succeeds in every field Caranthir fails, and at this point it's clear this derives from the in-universe writer of the Silm and his own biases. Think about it: "Dark Finwë" , a grumpy, prejudiced lordling, and "Hair Champion", most handsome, noble king, have met with the same people!! Yet the king of the first secret kingdom is everyone's friend, but the prince that trades with them regularly is not... seems sus.

Hence, Caranthir is friends with the Dwarves. (But that is just an interpretation, so you're free to think what you wish, I just have several opinions on in-universe prejudice and the almighty narrative.)

I think that 'we' might actually have been Dawn Felagund years ago. Maybe this reading existed even before that, but I doubt that-- she's been very influential in silm fandom and was long before tumblr was much of a thing. https://dawnfelagund.com/caranthir-the-slandered

I wouldn't say it's 'clear' that what amounts to Caranthir's entire documented personality derives from the bias of the in-universe narrator, though as you can see from Dawn's writing it's a reading you can argue for. There are a number of different approaches you can take to the Silm and its biases anyway. One of the few times when it's absolutely clear the text isn't telling the entire story is when it talks about the Easterlings. I've posted about this before but the recorded names are, uhh.... the ones to betray the elves are unlikely to actually have been named things like 'ugly lord' and 'ugly beard.' 'Dark Finwe' on the other hand is a documented reference to his haircolour being dark like Finwe's own; hardly a negative judgement!

I personally think Caranthir can be exactly as ill-tempered and prejudiced as the Silm paints him without becoming an unsympathetic character. If a writer cannot make a moody, deeply prejudiced man an interesting character that is a failure as a writer; there are after all enough books who manage exactly that. That is not to say choosing not to write him that way is a failure (obviously not), but it's not necessary in order to make a reader feel for him at all.

Just going by the text, I think it actually might make for a more interesting narrative to explore in fic to me. Because he does change his mind about something, and at a very specific moment; when he meets the Haladin. That is much less dramatic if he secretly been as nice and popular as Finrod, and got along with everyone all the time already. He's been raised by Fëanor, who said things like 'No other race shall oust us!' and rallied the Noldor not motivated enough by vengeance for Finwë alone by playing on their deep-seated fear of being replaced by the Secondborn. Very unlikely that had no impact. At best it has made him uninterested in humans in his area (while they're not much of a threat to ruling instead of the elves anyway). The text says they paid them no heed.

And yet! Caranthir sees how brave Haleth and her people are. He 'does her great honour.' He changes his mind and offers them lands. His tragedy to me is not that of a slandered figure, but of this deeply, deeply prejudiced person raised to distrust the motivations of human beings -- who overcomes those beliefs, offers friendship, is rejected! then extends that same trust to the Easterlings anyway... and it's those specific Easterlings, not the ones who ally with his brothers-- who betray them all. And cause the disastrous ending of the Nirnaeth. It's the 'to evil end shall all things turn that they begin well' part of the curse hitting him in the least fair way possible. Someone finally changes for the better, and the outcome is treason and destruction.

That is a very good character arc to me, actually. His aesthetics-based scorn for the Dwarves is reprehensible but strikes me as deeply Elvish, and part of his prejudices. Naugrim is too unflattering a name for them for it not to be common. His temper-- well why can't he have one? Sure there's only one recorded instance -- but that's imo because there are hardly any conversations in the Silm! Anyway I like some people with tempers well enough. Personally I think people are missing out on opiniated grouches.

Obviously the biased anti-Feanorian Pengolodh reading is a nice one, and I have enjoyed a lot of stories written based it. But it's not at all a reading that is necessary for me to read Caranthir as a flawed but sympathetic character. He can have serious faults and still, ultimately, be someone I feel for.

What I was asking though was if I overlooked any canon evidence of Caranthir being particularly, personally fond of the Dwarves; and it seems I did not. Also; there is room for Caranthir growing to like the Dwarves over centuries without an anti-Feanorian bias reading this strong, there is simply no evidence for friendship in the rather barebones narrative (I'm not interested atm because it's wildly overdone to me & I like variety).

That said, in my opinion making Caranthir the hidden, slandered Feanorian Finrod equivalent with a dash of Curufin's Dwarf affection is not as enjoyable as simply working with what little canon character is actually there. Because there is one (and it's not the greedy tax collector of some fanon depictions either imo)

1. To start with, wrt Caranthir as the anti-Finrod, I don't think it works that well. Sure sure dark/light, open/prejudiced, repressed/shouty, but different motivations, different locations, plus they meet very different peoples even if both are Edain-- besides, Caranthir's own older brothers do successfully ally with the Easterlings without betrayal, while Curufin (much more so than Finrod! no Khuzdul for Finrod!) is the Dwarves' Friend(tm). Also, a flawed Finrod already exists. That's just the regular edition. He has his own faults and (very different) tragic arc.

If Finrod never seems to have strong prejudices to overcome, and if he's not confrontational (which... look he's a diplomat. Make of that what you will. Pretty awkward there in Doriath, buddy!) he does have trouble facing his own complicity (he wanted to sail those ships despite the murders) until Sauron beats him to death with it. He leaves Valinor with the idea of ruling but he has to give up the crown. He's ambitious, he seems emotionally repressed, he's.. possibly paying the greater Dwarves to drive the Petty Dwarves out of their ancestral home to build a city? Oops. Depending on the version you go with in that case, of course; there's also ones where he's free of the blame of that one. Not of wanting to sail those ships and being uneasy with the guilt wrt wanting to do so despite their being stolen and murdered for though. No he doesn't kill; but he wants to use the result of it anyway, and to make it worse he is actually half Telerin.

There's also (to be fair, only for sure after the disaster of the Sudden Flame because that's the recorded instance) his guards killing random innocent trespassers to keep his kingdom hidden -- yes, that's right there in Silm, yes he's still King at the time. Beren has to wave that ring. People just seem to miss that he'd be killed without it somehow.

I think it's just too easy to reduce him to the golden perfect opposite of Caranthir. Yes he's described more positively; he's also just mentioned more because unlike Caranthir he rules an actual kingdom, the greatest and richest in Beleriand in fact; and does things that have a lot of very longterm effects, like helping B&L steal a Silmaril. They don't 'meet the same people' anyway -- the Haladin have a different culture from the Beorians which contributes to their reaction to Caranthir (and iirc their later fate).

Sidenote: Dawn's essay attributes the Green Elves helping the Feanorians at Amon Ereb to Caranthir's diplomatic skills; but why not to those of Amras or Amrod? This is the quote; 'Caranthir fled and joined the remnant of his people to the scattered folk of the hunters, Amrod and Amras, and they retreated and passed Ramdal in the south. Upon Amon Ereb they maintained a watch and some strength of war, and they had aid of the Green-elves' -- nothing here indicates it was Caranthir who got them that aid. In fact A&A are the hunters, i.e. more likely to have roamed in various forests where they would have encountered Green Elves, imo.

There's also the very desperate times to consider in which this aid takes place. This is just post Sudden Flame, and even if the Green Elves didn't like Caranthir they probably liked him better than Morgoth. Also, speaking of cosmopolitans, Maedhros allies with, yes, Dwarves (Azaghal), Grey elves, Easterlings (and you might say: Fingolfinians); even part of the remaining people of Dorthonion rally to Himring post sudden flame (that means Edain and Arafinwean followers in Himring, at least for a time), and he manages to be friendly with Felagund despite calling him a badger. ;)

Finrod is not the only other leader to forge diverse alliances, and though B&L ends happily his people mostly do not. Caranthir's not much like Finrod in any way. Not in motivations, temperament, tragic arc. That's fine. No hidden kingdom for a dragon to eat either. Finrod could probably do with being a little less like Finrod sometimes, though he's well-intentioned and likable. Caranthir loves to shout and isn't sneaky. Good for him.

2. Curufin also already exists. His love for Dwarves is one of his defining and redeeming characteristics and boy does he need them. He's daddy's favourite, a sneaky overambitious bitchy bastard who is also a talented smith and linguist, and truly considered a Dwarf friend, which is apparently exceptional. He's quite flawed; tries to help Celegorm force a political marriage, laughs with a bruised mouth, seeming to lose his mind while attempting and failing murder after first losing his own stronghold and then the city he tried to take from his cousin. He's just... a personality. Mostly a bad one! You can feel for him though, because he seems like an utter mess. Many 'i would love to study you' feelings on my part. Would hate for him to be real but also I'd pay to be his therapist.

3. And then finally there's Canon Caranthir. A difficult, prejudiced person who despite that (which doesn't at all have to mean there is no despite, the despite is what makes it juicy)

- seems to be responsible for re-establishing (large scale?) trade with the Dwarves, whatever he might think of them (and they of him) to their mutual benefit. I don't think he's greedy either. It seems like a mutually profitable situation. Access to Dwarvish goods seems pretty vital to Beleriand, and facilitating trade is a real service.

As someone pointed out in the replies, the Silm does mention Dwarvish companies travelling east to Nan Elmoth and menegroth various times, but quote wrt Caranthir says 'Caranthir’s people came upon the Dwarves, who after the onslaught of Morgoth and the coming of the Noldor had ceased their traffic into Beleriand' and 'when the Dwarves began again to journey into Beleriand.'

They stopped at some point and Caranthir's people made it happen again.

- which means he's practical. He seems like he's good at organising, and setting his own feelings aside if necessary despite his prejudice and temper (which is an achievement it wouldn't be without his, hm, everything). Also he and his people as well as the Dwarves work together well because ''either people loved skill and were eager to learn,' despite their (initial?) mutual dislike. Those aren't bad characteristics; seems like it was an exchange of skill as well as goods and possibly providing safe travel opportunities.

I don't like the 'greedy Caranthir' fanon and don't think it is even that easy support entirely with canon. 'They had of it great profit,' the text says-- both Caranthir and the Dwarves. They exchanged skills and knowledge and Caranthir seems to have helped them start trading in Beleriand again. That's hardly Scrooge Mcduck.

- Another thing we can say about canonthir (lol) is that he apparently attaches a lot of value to aesthetics (was he a visual artist? is a he a sculptor like Nerdanel? WORSE: AN ART CRITIC?! Feanorian art critic is truly nightmare fuel) and that's why he dislikes Dwarves (of all things...). Either way points to 'aesthetics' as something apparently important to Caranthir. Which makes sense given who his parents are. What is interesting to me is that this apparently DOESN'T matter to Curufin, who is a lot like Feanor in most things. That's interesting!

I've never, never seen this but I think it would be very funny to attribute his aesthetic prejudices to Nerdanel. I love her; but why should her opinions be perfect? I know she wasn't considered beautiful herself, but she's an artist. She's got to have had some strong opinions on aesthetics anyway. I doubt it's the beards; Mahtan had one as well. And 'stunted'...at least some of this comes down to the Elvish obsession with height yet again. Hm.

- eventually Caranthir overcomes what have to be some very deeply held beliefs about human beings and their place in the world, and offers what for all intents and purposes looks like real friendship, not the ruling over Men Feanor seems to have had in mind at best. He's capable of real change!

Anyway his character works just fine to me from canon, and what he achieves and the ways in which he fails are more interesting that way rather-- neither slandered Feanorian Finrod 2.0 nor Curufin 'Dwarf Fan' Feanorion without the sneakiness and murder attempts pack the same punch as a stupidly prejudiced grouchy man doing his best anyway for centuries in this stupid ugly cursed land, eventually changing for the better, opening up-- and being brutally punished for it by the Doom.

Dammit. I hope there's therapy in the Everlasting Darkness.

hm a bit long but that's what I get for trying to gather my thoughts wrt why after considering it a bit transferring Curufin's love for Dwarves to Caranthir is a bit boring to me personally. Though there are still stories that still do it very well.

[therealvinelle]

Carlisle and theology

So, there are a lot of thoughts in this fandom on Carlisle’s brand of faith, and Carlisle seeing vampirism as inherent sin, and it’s time for this Christian philosophy nerd to butt in, featuring all the quotes.

First of, let me do my usual disclaimer - the Carlisle of the books is not the Carlisle of the movies. Carlisle of the movies believes he’s damned, because while the movie does mostly quote the conversation from the books, they cut him off halfway through, completely changing the meaning. Book Carlisle is making an argument, and his conclusion is the opposite: vampires have souls.

"Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist… and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see, he thinks we've lost our souls." (New Moon, page 20)

Later in the same book when Edward believes he has died and gone to heaven, his first words are: “Carlisle was right.”

So, book Carlisle doesn’t believe they’re all damned. If he did, creating others would be to damn them. If he had doubts about their souls and decided to risk it anyway, his “I made vampires” angst would be about their souls. It’s not:

"(Choosing to turn others) is the one part I can never be sure of. I think, in most other ways, that I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I can't decide." (New Moon, page 21)

was it right to doom the others to this life.

He says nothing about their souls. His issue is the life they’re now living because of him: “was it right to turn others into bloodsucking demons, all of whom have a body count?”

Which is a very fair question, I’d be wondering that too. Edward, Emmett, Esme, and Rosalie are all murderers, they live in the constant pain of bloodlust, they must live in this very particular way or be nomads, and they’re not truly immortal, for sooner or later death will come in the brutal form of being torn apart and burned. Not to mention both Edward and Rosalie have very ambivalent feelings about what they became.

Carlisle wondering if turning them was the right call appears to have nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with the pragmatic reality of what it means to have created a vampire.

But if Carlisle doesn’t believe vampires are damned, what does he think then?

His backstory, admittedly told through Edward (who projects a lot onto Carlisle), is helpful.

His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again. (Twilight, page 160)

Carlisle had been raised to believe in witches and demons, eternal damnation for the wicked and the whole shebang. He wakes up a vampire and he knows what this means, he is now a senseless monster who kills people. 

Well, turns out this isn’t the case. He doesn’t have to kill people. More, he still has his faith in God, which by protestant doctrine is what you need to enter Heaven. (This right here is one big bone I have to pick with fanon Carlisle. People keep ascribing a very Catholic brand of theology onto him, as he believes existence is sin and one must do penance. He’s Anglican, and Anglicans adopted Protestant doctrine. Protestant salvation comes through faith.)

Now, if his existence doesn’t automatically lead to sin, and if he is still in command of himself, able to believe in God and be devout, who’s to say he’s damned?

The urge to kill people remains present, of course, but humans are tempted to sin too. All of God’s children are tempted. (And yes, he did arrive at the conclusion that vampires are among God’s children. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t believe they had souls.)

Edward specifies that Carlisle created his own philosophy. As in, he didn’t just say “I don’t have to kill people, neat. Being a monster is still horrible, though”, he sat down and went full Zarathustra.

This is where my love for theology comes in.

Christian thought is founded on the relationship between God and Man. How Man is saved, the definition of sin, absolution, all of it - it’s all built on the supposition that Man is human. Well, Carlisle just found out that there’s God, Man, and Vampire - and potentially (Carlisle at this early point in time would still think witches and such were real) others as well.

He also learned that the notion of monsters being bound to sin, or having made deals with Satan, are also wrong. He never met the guy, he has his conscience, and he lives as morally as ever.

This invalidates pretty much everything he ever learned, and Carlisle’s sitting there in the English woods realizing the same thing Nietzsche later would when science challenged religion: he has to figure out Christianity from scratch.

I think Carlisle came up with his very own doctrine.

Edward outright says so: his new philosophy was born. We see Carlisle engage in all sorts of behavior completely contrary to anything a devout 17th century priest would have been doing. He associates with heathens like Aro, Amun, or the Amazonians, allows his family to be non-believers, considers fallen women like the Denali to be wonderful people and respects them as equals, he performs abortions, he allows material luxuries under his roof, he marries a woman who committed suicide.

There’s also the fact that his was a time full of alternate interpretations of Scripture. I won’t get into this part of European history, suffice to say that with Martin Luther’s 97 theses, the Christian world exploded with different sects and branches. Anabaptism, Calvinism, Quakers, Lutherans, the list just keeps going. It wouldn’t have been a foreign concept to Carlisle to sit down and say “Alright, who is God and what does He want from us”

I keep seeing Carlisle written as a Christian parody who cries because once when he was having sex with Esme in the dark some light entered the room and he saw her ankle, and now he thinks they’re both going to hell. And if we’re talking about the movies then sure, that guy seems the type. Book Carlisle is not this, and there’s nothing in canon to indicate as much, quite the contrary. (Yes, Edward is angsty about souls, but that’s not what Carlisle believes at all. It’s made clear over and over these two don’t agree on religion, so the argument that Edward somehow downloaded his religious angst from Carlisle defeats itself.)

It seems to me Carlisle came to the conclusion that sin is to take lives for pleasure, and that vampires are neither damned nor inherently sinful. This is the only action he appears to condemn, to view as sinful. Apart from that, he will kill to defend himself or others (the newborn battle and James), he’s pro-abortion, and he did not oppose Rosalie getting her revenge.

Apart from that I’m not going to extrapolate much, in part because that’d be hard to do when we don’t have a lot to go on and I’m not actually a theologician, and in part because this post is very long now. Feel free to ask if someone wants me putting on my philosophy hat and pretending I’m a vampire with a religious crisis.

(I will say this though: the notion of vampires being inherently sinful is just Original Sin in a hat. If Carlisle believes in it, then he also believes in Original Sin for humans, vice versa if he doesn’t. Doesn’t seem to be the case, but if it is then the vampirism by itself still isn’t any more damned than humanity.)

[djhedy]

what is canon and should we respect it (a not-essay on aftg fandom)

i want to write an *entire* essay on this but i am between meds right now so exhausted and suffering a HEAT WAVE (uk?? why! we are normally so temperate) and also there's always a risk of sounding patronising when trying to put your opinions/experience across, so i'll try to write briefly and wotnot

what is canon:

"the material accepted as officially part of the story in an individual universe of that story" or, as we'd probably all put it "wot the author wrote"

why this matters, and why the author matters - our characters wouldn't exist without them

beyond a basic respect for the author, which i would define as like not being a bitch to them (because every human being has feelings, and this is something easily forgotten on the internet), we land on the question "should we respect canon"

well... maybe?

it sort of depends why you're here. the experience of literature/art can be defined a few ways: what the author intended, what the reader experiences, the impact on society.

what nora intended: if you care, she's written a lot of extra content on tumblr. but given that the majority of people who read the books probably won't care enough to find the extra content, this isn't canon. it isn't canon because it isn't in the books of the story. calling it canon is gatekeeping. but it's SUPER FUN and i enjoy seeing what nora's interpretation of her own characters are. thanks nora we luv u.

the impact on society: people get SO UPSET about this question. and it's a reasonable question for sure. art does impact society and vice versa. i just kind of don't think this is the big deal you think it is. people are always hunting for signs of homophobia, sexism, transphobia etc in fandom works. and like... sure, you can do that if you'll enjoy it. this essay isn't really about this, and i don't want to ramble. but aftg is an indie publication. its impact is so insubstantial. maybe chill out. the people who are like AARON IS HOMOPHOBIC BUT ANDREW THE MURDERER IS UWU or, opposite, SETH DESERVED REDEMPTION AND MATT IS ABLEIST - my guys it's a book. these characters are flawed. literature isn't meant to be a pinnacle of morals (unless... it is) and we're supposed to love these characters because they work through their flaws and settle into who they are. are they still dicks at the end? sure! it's fun. not everything has to be light and perfect. and you'll have more fun with art if you stop hunting for homophobes in the fandom of an independent publication with a few thousand readers. that's not how to succeed at the gay agenda. we're on it, i promise.

WHAT THE READER EXPERIENCES: this is the big one! you know when you read a book or watch a film and say "oh wow so it was about THIS, THIS was the important bit!" and someone disagrees? well, they're not wrong and you're not wrong. experience is a whole thing. what someone has experienced in life before they come to the art, what they experience during the art itself. art is a communication from the creator to the audience and that communication is subtle and will be different for *every* single person.

this will upset a lot of people, but it isn't canon that neil is demisexual. the label isn't mentioned once in the books. can it be inferred? ABSOLUTELY. he's demi in all of my fanfics because i personally love it. but nora mentioning it in extra content does not make it canon, in the same way that jkr telling everyone she saw dumbledore as gay after the books, does not make it canon. #theauthorisdead (but let's still be nice to them. ...unless you're jkr. fuck jkr.)

my point is just that canon doesn’t always matter. collectively most of us have decided neil is demi, which is important rep to a lot of people without rep. how sexy of us.

and experience matters. there will be people to whom it's important to write neil as not-very-demi. there will be people to whom it's important to write neil as super ace. be kind to each other.

i've decided i need to add another heading.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF FANFICTION?

to preserve canon? no, because... nora already did that. there's a huge amount of fun to be had trying to write neil and andrew as *accurately* as possible - but this *accuracy* will be different from person to person. because a work of literature is complicated and writing is hard and - individual experience. we've already gone through that. but like, have you ever tried to write andrew's dialogue accurately, the way he speaks like he's half-high half-shakespearean?? it's DIFFICULT. i have tried.

you know what's also fun? experimenting. what would their relationship be like if neil was an alcoholic. what if andrew liked wearing dresses. what if one of them cheated. what if matt died of a drug overdose.

in my head the point of fanfiction is EXPLORATION.

sometimes you're exploring the characters as accurately to your experience of them as possible, sometimes you're adding a new element in to see how they would react. let's be honest, that new element is usually something you're obsessed with in your own life. gender presentation? why people cheat? why people relapse? why relationships break down?

anyway, back to the list.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF FANFICTION?

to dick around and have a nice time? yes.

to work through your own identities/traumas/what have you? probably if you're anything like me and basically everyone i know in the fandom lol.

i think this is everything i want to say.

no wait i lied! final point.

if you've ever studied literature or philosophy the first things they teach you is to question *everything*. for example: what is fanfiction, what is canon, "we have to respect canon" do we??

if you've heard someone using the word "feminisation" to mean "make neil soft uwu", rather than repeating the word, question why it's being used here. what does feminise mean, what does soft mean. maybe you love the dark side to neil, maybe other people like the side of him that can heal.

there's nothing wrong with playing with sexual dynamics and relationship dynamics. sometimes you might be writing something cliched, homophobic, sexist - if you work out you are doing that, maybe stop it. on the other hand lots of couples *do* play out the dynamics of - trousers on in the bedroom, trousers on in the relationship. it's not homophobic to depict a homosexual relationship where one is subby and one is dommy. it exists. so like, chill a little.

and remember you are not always right and everyone is different?

man did i accidentally make this patronising?

woops.

lots of love hedy x