#i can’t go a single show with either one or ALL THREE of them showing up it’s a legit problem
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jade-jupiter · 8 months ago
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raise your hand if you too were caught in the j michael tatum and/or morgan berry and/or bryce papenbrook death-grip from anime dubs
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qurbanjaan · 1 month ago
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My experience and personal view on veiling as someone who grew up under a Burqa
When I was born, my father didn’t want me because I was a girl. When a girl is born, she isn’t cherished like a boy. Your life is received as a deadweight (note: I’m not saying this is something that happens every single time, just most of them) and a disappointment by the family. When your first breath comes in, the honor is on your shoulders.
My parents were so disappointed they gave me up to my aunt and uncle until I was one year old. When I was three, my father tried to sell/promise me into marriage. My grandmother, his mother, was the one who intervened and stopped him from doing it.
As I grew up, I noticed clear differences between me and girls from less conservative families, but everything was relatively normal until I hit nine years old. When it happened, I suddenly stopped traveling with my parents, stopped being able to leave the curtains open, couldn’t wear the clothes I used to wear even though I was still a child… as I grew older and older, the restrictions increased as my uncle and my father said I was becoming a beautiful woman and “I would be a problem for their family”.
Then, when I noticed, I wasn’t allowed to appear on windows, get packages from the mailman, go out in the yard, have a phone, stay alone in my room, talk to men (even if it was something as trivial as buying groceries), going out alone, needing to looking down when men walk past you, stay in your room when there’s visitors and don’t make a noise so they can’t hear you, not speak too loudly either, not share your name… the list is endless.
And, when you grow up inside a such conservative, traditional and religious family, your only future is disappearing. Along with having no voice and no face, servitude is as inescapable as death.
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When you’re under a piece of cloth, you become faceless, you have no identity of your own. Outside the house, you’re a ghost. Inside the house, you’re a servant. You have no choice over yourself. This is your identity, a servant ghost who’s screams people pretend not to hear.
To a certain level, when you try to reflect on it, the veiling can be comforting. Being invisible can be comforting, no one sees you, you don’t need to worry about a thing. You can hide all your thoughts and most shameful actions from the daylight and no one is going to find out about them. But, when you are under the veil, your identity becomes something only you know about. To the rest of the world, you don’t exist, you’re not human. The veil will slowly dehumanize you, you will start fading away and there’s nothing you can do about it because how can someone attribute a face to a piece of fabric with a mesh on eye level?
And don’t fool yourself, the longer you keep your veil on, the harder the expectations will be. You may only need to cover now, but in some time, they will ask you why are your toes showing and why are you not hiding your hands behind the veil too, and why are you even outside your house? You should be home, protecting your family’s honor, you’re disgracing your family, go home.
And you may think “I’m invisible to the outside world but in my house I’m irreplaceable”, are you? How irreplaceable will you be when a younger, better wife comes in and the only safety you may have is the idea that your children will grow up to take care of you? How would someone possibly feel bad for you when you are nothing but a black trashbag? If you become a beggar, how will they see the suffering on your face if it will be covered and hidden away from the world?
I can’t be hypocritical and say that I don’t feel a sense of security under the veil, but it’s a false sense of security. When the time for your death comes, you won’t have your name on your grave, you won’t have a face. All you will ever have been is a servant, invisible to the outside world, with no God above to wonder “what about her?”. How dear are you inside those walls?
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yuquinzel · 3 months ago
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— flowerthief.
feat. itoshi rin. fluff <3 short drabble. rin doesn’t greet you without flowers.
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itoshi rin shows up at your house at exactly 9:38 pm — standing in all his glory — drenched in sweat and a mess of shattered breaths. you know he ran all the way here, which you can’t find the reason for when you check the time twice to make sure your eyes weren’t deceiving you.
you would’ve said something like rin what the hell it’s so late or maybe just cross your arms and peer down at him with a look that says well? to what do I owe the pleasure except it’s only sarcasm.
you would say all that if the first thing he did as you opened the door wasn’t shoving the HUGE bouquet of flowers in your face.
you have no idea where this is going.
it takes 10 seconds for you to realise he’s not going to move from his spot unless you accept the flowers and get them out of your face.
“uhm... what?” is all you can say.
“flowers.” he replies. only now allowing himself to relax and lean against the wall.
“i can see that, but why now?” you bring your fingers to trace the petals. rin is aware of all your favorites, so you’re not surprised to find them sweetly tucked together.
in fact this isn’t the first time he’s given you flowers.
ever since three months ago at the start of your relationship, when you had mindlessly told him you’ve never been given flowers— rin had made it his life’s mission to bring you flowers every. single. day. it’s sometimes a bouquet of blooming colors, sometimes it’s just a small flower he could’ve found anywhere on the roadside.
rin doesn’t greet you without flowers.
“i was so busy with practice today, i couldn’t come earlier.” he says in a somewhat hurried tone, each word cut off by the next.
you think of the hurried text he’d sent you earlier — practice’ll drag out today. i can’t come. sorry. — it was simple, and you knew he was busy so you weren’t upset over it either.
“i thought you couldn’t come?”
“but i wanted to.”
that explains the impromptu visit past 9 pm, the disheveled hair and the beads of sweat collecting on his forehead saying he ran like there was no tomorrow.
“that’s okay rinnie. you give me flowers everyday. it’s okay if you were too busy.” your fingers trace the soft petals. rin holds his breath.
“no, it’s not. i give you flowers everyday. why should today be any different?”
a smile tugs at your lips. you feel giddy and warm. the thought that he’d rushed out of practice and took the time to get you a bouquet of your favourites just to come see you even though he must be exhausted — why he goes out of his way to make you feel special — it sort of steals your breath and make your heart ricochet like bullets in your ribcage.
so when you take your hand to brush his cheeks, the warmth lingering in your hands, rin takes a hold of it in a firm grip. his own hand resting on top of yours to keep it there.
his shoulders relax, “do you like them?” he asks, like always, eyes shining with a glimmer you only ever see around you.
“i love them.” you say, all your love for him and his flowers safely wrapped up in the syllables.
rin lets a small smile play at his lips, “...and?”
you laugh at this, knowing exactly what he means. “and i love you.”
“i love you too.” rin mirrors your laugh, a sputter of low breaths throughout the air.
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© yuquinzel2024 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]
one less draft. woohoo. fellas i present to you, rin, the epitome of “if he wanted to, he would.”
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zevrra · 3 months ago
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never forget—
synopsis: where sebastian is actually worried about MC and regrets casting crucio on them caaaause that moment in the game was not enough for me pfft!
tags: 18(+), lil angst, mostly fluff, sebastian(18) x reader, i didn’t know how to end this oops, one-shot, 2k words.
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“Crucio!”
The pain that followed that one little word was excruciating.
Yet the spell casted upon you was of your own doing. You, Ominis, and Sebastian had become good friends since your first day at Hogwarts. Always together, always the 3 of you somehow in trouble. Well, mostly you and Sebastian. Somehow Ominis always managed to get out of the trouble the two of you dragged him into. You were Slytherin after all, it was most likely in your blood.
When you first met Sebastian, he had such an eager to learn that his demeanor was contagious. So much so you couldn’t help but also want to gain more knowledge with him over the years. It was all thanks to Ominis from keeping you two from ending up expelled. Your savior in a sense. But ever since the three of you had become good friends, Sebastian never let up about Salazar Slytherin. He was set on finding his Scriptorium, begging Ominis for so long to show him the way. Seeing as he believed finding it would help cure his sister’s, Anne, curse.
When Ominis had finally given into you both and led the way, the three of you worked wonderfully together. Traversing dark and wary caves. Fending off giant spiders, solving puzzles all that good stuff. Until finally you reach a room with a single note, bones buried in dirt, no way out, the word CRUCIO etched into the stone before your feet, and what looked to be a screaming apparition burned onto a mirror.
You sadly read the note aloud for all to hear. Detailing a grim last few words from Ominis’s aunt. Who unfortunately had gone looking for the Scriptorium, alone, and met an untimely fate. You reach out to gently touch Ominis’s shoulder and he stills beneath your touch.
“I’m so sorry about your aunt, Omni.” You mourn. He nods in acceptance. Nothing they did now could’ve changed what had happened to his aunt. He would at least find some peace in knowing what happened to her.
Sebastian is at your side then. Concerned look on his own freckled face. “Ominis…I know it’s hard. But the letter details using Crucio. You’re the best suited for this—“
“No! I won’t do it. To use Crucio you have to mean it. I will not cast that spell ever again…especially on you two.” Ominis steps away from your reach. Closing off from the activity entirely. You didn’t blame him.
You turn to face Sebastian then who looks..almost disappointed with Ominis's rejection. He gestures for you to follow him closer to the wailing mirror. Hauntingly beautiful, even in its twisted state.
“Well, two options. You cast Crucio on me, or I…cast it on you. It’s the only way we’re getting out of here. We can’t die here and now because of—of morals.” Sebastian whispers to you. The thought of dying in that suffocating tomb alone makes your skin crawl.
Ominis had always been vocal about how horrible any of the killing curses were, especially this spell. Seeing as he was forced to cast it when he was younger. The nightmares still haunt the blonde from what you could tell. His sleepless nights. The flinch at loud noises. It was obvious, whatever you decided, that this would forever weigh heavy on your soul. Yet the spell…could come in handy when facing Ranrok. He was your enemy after all.
You hoped it would never come down to using it though.
“Fine. Teach me the spell but you…you cast it on me. I won’t hurt you Seb.” You mumble. And at first, he’s hesitant. His wand slightly swayed before he reluctantly nods. His hands slightly shake as he teaches you the wave of the wand. He had never performed the dark arts before and this could go very wrong or just really wrong. Either way was going to hurt. But you trusted him.
That’s how you ended up in the here and now. Agonizing pain ripped through your flesh like lightning. Flames behind your eyeballs that force them to shut tight. Hoping to ease the pain away. Your teeth gnash against your lip to hold back screams of pain. It does nothing. Dark magic moves under your skin like writhing red and green tentacles. You gasp between almost suffocating screams.
Breathe in, scream, breathe out.
Your back is against the stone, arched, burning hot. Even as Ominis, or maybe it was Sebastian’s, or both of their hands are grabbing at your arms. Cool fingers press into your hot flesh as the boy’s try to lift you from the floor.
They try to comfort you during one of the worst moments of your life. It doesn’t help. They both fumble as they move you into the room that opened up behind the wailing mirror. The pain is nauseating. Every fumble, correction, and movement makes your stomach churn. Threatening to spill out your lunch. Your consciousness is slowly fading at this point. Stars blinking behind your eyelids as you grasp for whatever you can to stay awake.
Through the pulsing pain in your head and ears, you barely hear the two boys arguing. More or less Ominis yelling about how he was right. How this was a stupid idea as he struggles to help carry you. Ominis can’t see where he steps yet he’s trying so hard to save you now.
“You—you’re both idiots!” Ominis snarls. Struggling with words through his rage and panic. “How could you do something like this!”
“I understand, Ominis! Just—just, Merlin, help me! Help me get to the infirmary!” Sebastian spits back as they continue to fumble around, looking for an exit.
The last thing you hear is Sebastian calling for desperate help before the pain becomes too much and finally takes you under. Passing out from the curse spell later than you would’ve liked.
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When concussions come back to you, it’s almost unbearable. Your eyes flutter open but fall closed once again. Maybe you could just stay like that for forever. Lying on a cloud, nice and warm, with your eyes closed. Eh, sounds a little too much like death for your liking.
Thankfully, your second attempt at waking up is far more fruitful. Candlelight flickers rapidly at the edge of your feet as your eyes slowly come into focus. You make out the white sheets laying across your body. Feel the firm mattress against your back. Connecting the dots, slowly but surely, that you were in the infirmary.
Your head moves slightly to continue looking around. Hoping a nurse was close by so you could ask for some water or medicine or anything to make the dull ache in your body stop. Instead your eyes find Sebastian.
His unruly brown hair is somehow even messier than usual. He slumps against the side of your bed and from what you can tell, he might be asleep. Seeing as it was sometime during the night. If you had to guess he probably snuck into the infirmary to be at your side.
Suddenly memories of what happened in the Scriptorium come back to you. Sending a harsh chill down your entire body. The cast of Crucio echoes in the back of your mind. You’ll never forget the feeling. Or the look on Seb’s face as he waved the spell and casted it upon you.
‘Crucio can only be cast if you mean it.’ You remember Ominis’s haunting words. Sebastian must’ve meant it. But you try your best to not blame him. He was just trying to get you all out of that stone grave.
“Seb…” You try to speak. Your throat burns as you attempt to rouse the sleeping man at your side. Voice hoarse, borderline gone, from what you can only assume is from the screaming you barely remember doing. “Sebastian.” You barely manage his full name.
His body shifts at the sound of his name but he doesn’t rise. So you make your way to sit up. Although the moment you prepare to sit up, weight shifting ever so slightly, Sebastian shoots up instantly. His pretty green eyes meet your gaze in a wild look. As if he can’t believe you’re awake. Dried drool sticks to the edge of his lips. You can’t help but laugh. Or what you assume is a laugh. To Seb it probably sounds like you’re coughing.
“I—we—are you okay?” Seb stumbles over his words. Knowing Sebastian, he most likely had something planned to say the moment you woke up. Yet now he was almost speechless. For the first time ever.
“I’m o-okay just…w-water.” You manage to mumble. Now he’s quick to react. A glass of water is held out with lightning speed to you and you take it graciously.
After a moment of what felt like an eternity of being parched, you chug the water given to you, before you hand the glass off and sit fully upright. Your fingers lay in your lap, picking at the cotton of the blanket.
Silence falling between the two of you was so uncommon. It almost felt worse than writhing in pain. Not really but the wall built up was hard to ignore. You needed that wall to come down.
“How long was I asleep?” You ask softly. Breaking the silence as your throat is finally feeling better after some water.
“Three days,” Sebastian replies. He doesn’t look at you. You don’t blame him, not really. The guilt must weigh heavy on his shoulders.
Three days. The fact that it had been days since you had passed out in the scriptorium made your gut twist. You can’t even imagine what rumors must have spread among the school. Or the amount of questions the headmaster will be asking you. Oh you were definitely in for some trouble.
“I’m so sorry.”
Apologies were not something Sebastian was known for. The fact that he was apologizing at all was almost shocking. You didn’t have to guess that he didn’t really mean it when he casted Crucio. It was all just a matter of choices, for you all to survive.
“It’s okay,” Your voice is soft as you speak. “I don’t want you to blame yourself. I agreed to it Sebastian,” You remind him. It only makes Seb angrier with himself.
“Of course I blame myself! I could’ve killed you!” Sebastian says in a strained voice. He wants to scream and yell. He wants you to scream and yell at him. For letting him do something so stupid. For not listening to Ominis in the first place. For being too eager.
“It was a matter of life or death Seb you know that—“ You began to say but he cuts you off as he quickly stands from his chair.
“But what if there was another way!? What if I didn’t have to…didn’t want to—I could’ve changed something!” He angrily hisses as he turns his head away from you.
Silences befalls between the two of you again. Stretched longer than previously as you can’t think of something to say. He had three days to beat himself up for dragging all three of you to that scriptorium. You couldn’t imagine how many scenarios he himself had imagined over and over again while in your slumber.
“What if I had lost you?”
The soft words are barely loud enough to hear. Just a whisper under his breath you almost can’t manage to make out. But you do. The somber confession comes at you like a heavy rainstorm. Unexpected, welcoming, lovely, and a little noisy from his previous minor outburst. Building from a small drop to a straight downpour and you’re caught in the middle of it with no umbrella.
Even in the candlelight you see the tips of ears, beat red as he refuses to look at you. Shoulders tense as he tries to will himself to calm down. It was late, you weren’t supposed to be awake, and he wasn’t supposed to be there. It was not the time for this conversation.
Yet it makes you smile anyway. Butterflies jump around under your skin, in your heart, stomach following suit in doing somersaults. You reach with a gentle hand and grab hold of his shirt sleeve, giving it a tug. For a moment he stands completely still. Debating whether or not it was the right moment to hash all of this out. It wasn’t. Yet a second tug on his sleeve has him turning to finally look at you.
This time when you meet his green eyes, his wild look is gone. He looks at you like you’re the cure to whatever alignment he’s currently experiencing. It’s a saddened, sleepless, relieved look. Feeling every emotion he’s ever felt in his life all in the span of a few short seconds.
You smile fondly at Sebastian, praying he could see it in the soft light of the infirmary. “But you didn’t,” You remind him. Almost gesturing to you, him, and your surroundings. “I’m still here, Seb.”
Sebastian simply nods. Not having the courage to speak for it may bring him to tears. Now that would truly be the end of the world if that happened.
You reach for his hand. Reassuring and gentle as your fingers intertwine with his. He’s stiff as a board at your touch. He has always yearned for it but never had the faith to act upon his feelings.
“Plus, it’ll take more than that to get rid of me.” You say hoping to ease the young man’s feelings. At least for tonight.
A squeeze to your hand is the only response you receive as he returns to his seat. He rests your connected hands on the bed before his head follows suit. Instead of returning to the side of your bed he makes himself comfy on your thigh. You smile at the puzzling picture before you.
The great Sebastian Sallow, a man who rarely asks for any help, unless it involves trekking in some dark cave somewhere, was vulnerably sprawled out on top of you.
You stifle a giggle, fearing if he heard you laugh he would assume the worst and pull away. Instead your free hand pushes through his hair. Pushing away dark curly hair from his freckled face.
“You should return to the dorms before the nurse finds you.” You hum as your eyes scan his own closed eyes. Gazing at the lengths of his eyelashes. Every freckle you could see, thinking how fun it could be to count them one day.
“‘Ts fine,” Sebastian shrugs it off. You hear the softness of his breathing, slowly becoming shallow as he falls asleep. Fast asleep in your thigh with his hand tightly wound to yours. You wish you could have a painting done of this moment. Hoping by every ounce of magic in your veins that you never forget this feeling or the sight. And by Merlin does the sight make your heart ache and pound in equal parts.
You just hoped to never go through something like this ever again. Hopefully Sebastian would see how powerful and dangerous the dark arts could be and look for another solution to healing Anne’s curse. Maybe the ancient magic you wield could help next time instead of turning to the unforgiving curses.
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visenyaism · 4 months ago
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Do you think daemon actually wants the throne, and would steal it from rhaenyra given the chance, or is it just a product of the harrenhal/alys induced hallucinations?
oooo this is tricky. i’ve been saying since season one that daemon’s character seems to really center around the fact that daemon is desperately chasing…something. he cannot quite articulate what it is. but you see this overwhelming compulsive want without form control his entire life and never ever lead him to happiness.
He burns out of several small council jobs and is listless in the capital. he wants his brothers attention but can’t help himself from saying and doing things that he knows will get him banished. He wants his own life in pentos, but nope. he is miserable but does not want to go home. He is desperate to be respected as an adult but blows up whenever anyone criticizes him like one. wants to be an authority figure but hates responsibility.
I think in season one he takes more of the role of like an attack dog. He wants the warmest spot at his brother’s feet he does NOT want any other dogs in the kennel he wants all of his brother’s (and by extension rhaenyra’s) attention and he wants to be pointed at stuff and told and trusted to go be of service by enacting violence on others. but from what we’ve seen so far in season two, that doesn’t seem to be enough for him anymore. He’s still miserable.
All of this to say that i think that Daemon thinks he wants to be king, but that’s not what he actually wants, is it? in season one I think being the heir was a symbol of being his brothers favorite, and a stand-in for actually having his unconditional love and trust and that’s why he wanted it. In season two I think being the king is an idea he likes because:
1) he’s a misogynist who cannot be seen as subservient to rhaenyra because she’s a woman,
2) because post blood and cheese all of his relationships in his life are currently defined by the ways in which he has significantly let every one of his loved ones down in some way and no one can trust him to show up for them. he is now super lost and wants to be his own person but:
3) Being from the incest psychosexual enmeshment house has no idea how to do that. every single relationship he’s ever had with another person has been sexual, familial, or violent, sometimes all three. there is no self to be found in that abyss it all boundaries are obliterated. and clearly he equates being his own person with exacting power over others violently. Which is how he’s in his tyrannical Riverlands arc right now and demanding he be called king because he thinks that’s what they do.
This will not be enough for him either. I don’t think he will ever find it.
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hollowed-theory-hall · 8 months ago
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Ok so Harry has a tendency to blatantly state out loud just how much the Dursleys don't give two shits about him (to the point that the people around him think it's just a typical teenager over exaggerating their complaints), but... Does he realise that the way he is being treated by them is wrong?
Also like, I know that the way the Dursleys treated him plays a huge part in the way Harry behaves and views himself- specifically him not thinking an adult is a reliable source of help and protection + his disastrouly low self esteem + how he doesn't respond to Snape's everything (which is the exact opposite of what James would have done) ... But what are the other ways in which he got affected and it shows? (Someone once mentioned that they hc that when feeling extreme emotions Harry tends to skip out on food and may have nearly wasted away in his second year had it not been for Ron and Hermione- which is also why they act so much like Harry's bodyguards)
Yep, Harry put no effort into hiding his abuse. He literally told anyone who would listen. By 5th year, he was making jokes about it to Ron and Hermione who seemed used to it.
Now, you've raised a few questions and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.
Does he realise that the way he is being treated by them is wrong?
I think he does. Most of his comments about his relatives' treatment definitely sound like Harry is very aware that he shouldn't be treated like that.
“I told you, I didn’t — but it’ll take too long to explain now — look, can you tell them at Hogwarts that the Dursleys have locked me up and won’t let me come back, and obviously I can’t magic myself out, because the Ministry’ll think that’s the second spell I’ve done in three days, so —” “Stop gibbering,” said Ron. “We’ve come to take you home with us.” “But you can’t magic me out either —” “We don’t need to,” said Ron, jerking his head toward the front seat and grinning. “You forget who I’ve got with me.” “Tie that around the bars,” said Fred, throwing the end of a rope to Harry. “If the Dursleys wake up, I’m dead,” said Harry as he tied the rope tightly around a bar and Fred revved up the car. “Don’t worry,” said Fred, “and stand back.”
(COS, page 31)
“It was cloudy, Mum!” said Fred. “You keep your mouth closed while you’re eating!” Mrs. Weasley snapped. “They were starving him, Mum!” said George. “And you!” said Mrs. Weasley, but it was with a slightly softened expression that she started cutting Harry bread and buttering it for him.
(COS, page 39)
But Harry wasn’t going to stand for this. Gone were the days when he had been forced to take every single one of the Dursleys’ stupid rules.
(GOF, page 33)
“Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. “We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry —” “They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe —” “That’ll just depress them.” “— and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?” Lupin smiled but made no answer.
(OOTP, page 54)
“You don’t seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles. . . . All they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies. . . . ‘Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!’ ” “You’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle,” said Harry darkly. “Good sense of when to duck, more like . . .”
(OOTP, page 657)
It seems Harry is very much aware that the way he is being treated is wrong. the younger Weasleys and Hermione are clearly aware of that too. Harry calls the Dursleys' rules stupid, he knows the Dursleys aren't treating him the way they should and that he doesn't have to take it. That he shouldn't have to take it.
Harry is kind of a best-case scenario of an abused kid and Dumbledore was so lucky Harry ended up functional enough for his plans. It could've so easily gone down differently.
Honestly, I'm enraged on Harry's behalf at how Arthur, Molly, and Lupin (and every other adult) just completely ignore his mistreatment. He really does just state plainly what's going on and has Ron, Fred, George, and Hermione backing up everything he says.
What are the other ways in which he got affected and it shows?
I do like when Harry's approach to food is affected by the Dursleys starving him, that being said, there isn't really any book evidence for it. It's an interesting headcanon to explore though. His low self-esteem, willingness to endanger himself, and his thinking that adults be counted on are definitely effects seen in the books. As for other things we do see in the books:
1. Harry is actually really quiet. He doesn't speak as much as Ron and Hermione and he's pretty awkward with social interaction. He mimics Ron in many ways since he never had any friends before him.
His approach to studying is one of the ways he mimics Ron socially. Harry actually read their school books before 1st year, he found Hedwig's name in a History of Magic. And he planned to study at the beginning of Philosopher's Stone. Then he meets Ron and realizes no one in Gryffindor except Hermione actually studies, and she is hated for it. So he didn't bother studying either, even though he planned to because he wanted to fit in.
2. Harry isn't great at emotional regulation, specifically anger. Harry is a pretty angry character and throughout the books, he actually has moments when he completely loses himself to a sense of anger.
A boiling hate erupted in Harry’s chest, leaving no place for fear. For the first time in his life, he wanted his wand back in his hand, not to defend himself, but to attack . . . to kill.
(POA, page 339)
“Madame Maxime!” said Fleur at once, striding over to her headmistress. “Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also!” Somewhere under Harry’s numb disbelief he felt a ripple of anger. Little boy?
(GOF, page 275)
Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . .
(GOF, page 300)
If Dudley’s friends saw him sitting here, they would be sure to make a beeline for him, and what would Dudley do then? He wouldn’t want to lose face in front of the gang, but he’d be terrified of provoking Harry. . . . It would be really fun to watch Dudley’s dilemma; to taunt him, watch him, with him powerless to respond . . . and if any of the others tried hitting Harry, Harry was ready — he had his wand . . . let them try . . . He’d love to vent some of his frustration on the boys who had once made his life hell —
(OOTP, page 11)
He does calm down the older he gets. But he definitely has a lot of anger in him.
3. Harry, in general, has a disrespect for authority. I assume this is an extension of his distrust of adults, in that no teacher or nurse ever helped him. Harry is so anti-authority and anti-orders, that he can resist the Imperius Curse decently from the first try.
Harry just doesn't do orders or authority. Actually in the earlier books, and even in books 6 and 7, Harry has his doubts about Dumbledore. He repeatedly tells people he's Dumbledore's man, but in his head, he has doubts. Like he has for any other adult with authority over him.
“Dumbledore’s been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!” he hissed. “He’s not as gone as you might think!” Harry retorted. He was speaking at random, wanting to scare Riddle, wishing rather than believing it to be true —
(COS, page 282)
“Because the Ministry of Magic’s still after me, and Voldemort will know all about me being an Animagus by now, Wormtail will have told him, so my big disguise is useless. There’s not much I can do for the Order of the Phoenix . . . or so Dumbledore feels.” There was something about the slightly flattened tone of voice in which Sirius uttered Dumbledore’s name that told Harry that Sirius was not very happy with the headmaster either. Harry felt a sudden upsurge of affection for his godfather.
(OOTP, pages 82-83)
He's very distrusting of adults and authority, but also his peers. He doesn't tell Ron and Hermione everything in the earlier books because he is very slow to trust. Which, makes sense for someone who grew up like he did.
4. His occasional impulsiveness is an extension of his issues with emotional regulation, I think.
5. I think Harry's cunning Slytherin streak is a result of his abuse. The Dursleys' mistreatment taught him to sneak around, to lie, to be clever. It taught him to keep a blank face when being yelled at because if he reacted it'll make it worse.
He learned how to insult the Dursleys in ways that go over Dudley's head. His little way to rebel.
6. His response to pain as well. We see it with Umbridge and the blood quill for example:
He let out a gasp of pain. The words had appeared on the parchment in what appeared to be shining red ink. At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry’s right hand, cut into his skin as though traced there by a scalpel — yet even as he stared at the shining cut, the skin healed over again, leaving the place where it had been slightly redder than before but quite smooth. Harry looked around at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile. “Yes?” “Nothing,” said Harry quietly. He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill upon it once more, wrote I must not tell lies, and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time
(OOTP, page 267)
Harry can hide his pain and not react to it, and he does it well. He learned from the Dursleys that she wants to see his pain, and he isn't going to give her what she wants. Instead, he grits his teeth through it and doesn't react externally.
Even later in the book when Umbridge threatens with the Crociatus Curse, Harry just braces himself for it, not planning to break (in later books too, Harry is very willing to get hurt and just deal with it). He is willing to take torture without reacting, and I think this is something he got from the Dursleys.
These are the some other things that came to mind regarding your question. There are probably more that I can't think of now that I might add later. Harry is who he is in part because of his nightmare of a childhood. So many facets of his personality just link back to it.
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miaoua3 · 2 months ago
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Can we please get a Vernon head cannon… I struggle to find them on here but your svt ones are just amazing :))
hi! sure you can, and thank you so much for saying that, hope you enjoy this!
Vernon Boyfriend Headcanons:
•(sfw! hcs):
we all know that he is mostly silent throughout the day, but i truly believe that vernon would NOT be able to shut up with his significant other, he would be talking 24/7 to you, be prepared to hear about his day from the moment he woke up to the moment he came through the door of your apartment
throughout your relationship, you notice that your boyfriend has a problem. a very big and potentially dangerous problem. and that is that he brings all sorts of animals home. it started on one rainy night, he was supposed to be home 20 minutes ago but he was nowhere to be seen or heard. just as you were about to call him for the nth time, he came in through the door, drenched from head to toe from the heavy rain. and with three kittens in his arms. he didn’t even try to make any excuses, he just proceeded to say “i found them behind the dumpster two blocks away.”
we all know that he sleeps like a corpse, so naturally he wouldn’t cuddle you back while he’s asleep, but before that he definitely won’t let you out of his arms. he’s either talking your ear off or is casually scrolling through his phone. to be honest, it doesn’t matter what he’s doing, as long as you are in his arms he considers it time well spent. and just because he doesn’t cuddle you back during his sleep doesn’t mean you can’t do what you will lol, you can lie on him, hug him tightly and throw your leg over his stomach, he won’t care-but he also he won’t reciprocate it either because my man is just like this🧍
constantly shows you something on his phone, doesn’t matter what you are doing, you will just see his hand appear in front of your face before you even hear him say “babe look at this”, be it a meme or a cute cat video, he just wants you to see everything that he does too so you can enjoy it too
speaking off, kinda unpopular opinion but vernon definitely calls you babe or a nickname based on your name, i don’t really see him only calling you bro or dude like most claim he would do, i just don’t think he would go that overboard on cute nicknames either, but something small and cute just to signify both to himself and you, as well as to people around you that you two are together, and at the end of the day that would be a small way of him showing his love and affectionate for you
if you have a niece, count on vernon to ask you every other week with sparkly eyes if you can go and visit them, he just loves your niece so much even though he doesn’t really know how to play with her, he still loves her so much. even if he has to sit on a little pink chair with a tiara on his head while drinking ‘tea’ from a little pink cup, he doesn’t mind, as long as he gets to read her bed time stories when she goes to bed, he’s okay with it all❤️
i feel like everyone has already said this but vernon definitely has a big thing for showing you and sharing to you his love for music and movies. from making you new playlists with new songs he heard (and that remind him of you), to having a dedicated day of the week for movie nights, he just wants to have somebody that he can talk to about his favourite things so pls make sure to pay close attention to what he’s showing you :(
•(nsfw! hcs):
vernon strikes me as a man who wouldn’t have that high of a sex drive, but when he’s in a mood, count on the fact that you will be doing it for hours to no end and that you won’t be able to walk the next day. he will bend you in positions you didn’t even know you could be bent into, he will try out all the paces until he finds one that you enjoy the most that night. sex with vernon would never feel like chore but rather like a brand new and beautiful experience every single time
he actually gets really nervous before going on stage, so he always drags you into the nearest corner for a quickie or to eat you out or to have you suck his dick, for him it’s a great way to get all that pent up energy out (plus seeing you on your knees, with teary eyes as you struggle to wrap your mouth around his thick cock is something he can think about while on stage as a way to pass the time-)
if you ever thought that this man had a stone face and that he’s expressionless most of the time, that would change the very first time he fucked you-his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure, his mouth opened as moans keep on spilling from his mouth, droplets of sweat sliding down his temple, a few landing onto you due to him hovering above you-yeah, let’s just say that he makes the prettiest faces and noises ever
prefers it when you ride him, especially after a hard day at work, there’s nothing he loves more than leaning on the backrest of the couch and letting you take care of him, as well as letting your wet pussy swallow him whole, he would just lay there with his eyes closed and let you do whatever you think he would enjoy-sucking on his neck, scratching his chest with your nails, whispering sweet and encouraging words in his ears- let’s just say that this is top 3 best feelings he could ever feel
has a thing for both biting and being bitten, just something about the sensation you feel when you’re being bitten is so hot to him-imagine feeling so good and so much pleasure that the only thing to stop from screaming and letting the whole world know how good you’re feeling is to bite his shoulder, it makes his brain go ckslcnsnqjqh
for some reason finds himself always fucking you in the most unusual places-on top of the kitchen counter, in the bathtub, behind some restaurant that is secluded enough but also not enough, on dino’s couch??? when he wasn’t even in his apartment??? he just…fucks you when he gets in the mood, no matter the time, place or the occasion
you can’t even dare to say to me that he doesn’t have a thing for cream pies, just the sight of his cum dripping from inside you, your pussy clenching around nothing before he pushes his cock back inside along with the cum that was just about to drip out-let’s just say every thought from his head (if he had any left due to the feeling of your pussy clenching around his dick) evaporates, only thing he can focus on is you and how good his cum looks like coating your lower lips i- i need him i fear
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jaehyunsprincesspeach · 6 months ago
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Hey💌 boyfriend things with Jaehyun please
i can’t even explain how excited i was when i got this one omg !!
sorry for the wait but here it is !! hope yall enjoy !!
xoxo ~ lunar
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Boyfriend Jaehyun Things
bf!jaehyun who spends his time crushing on you from a distance… he’s outspoken when he wants to be, but something about being around you makes all coherent thoughts leave his brain… he’s down bad before he even admits it to himself
bf!jaehyun who, when he finally confesses his feelings, opens up more, testing the waters to see your likes and dislikes… tries taking you on different dates to get to know your preferences and help both of you get comfortable with each other… low key cautious at the start of a relationship
bf!jaehyun who surprisingly waits to kiss you after the third date… i genuinely believe he’s a romantic at heart and would want a more classic romance… growing together and knowing each other before fully committing… he doesn’t want to get hurt and he definitely doesn’t want to hurt you either
bf!jaehyun who when he finally asks you out does a full 180… he’s still cute and romantic, but he’s comfortable enough to be more playful with you… and let me tell ya, this man’s a MENACE… constant teasing, low key intentionally provoking you just so he can see that adorable pout of yours, he just can’t help himself
bf!jaehyun who doesn’t fall for any of the tiktok relationship pranks you might try to pull… he just finds the funny instead… sits there with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face while you’re giving him the “silent treatment”… knows exactly how to get you to forget about the prank and talk to him again
bf!jaehyun who, despite his relentless teasing, is such a softie for you… there’s not a single thing he wouldn’t do for you… he would go out of his way to get you your favorite desserts or treats just to see you smile… buys you random gifts because he thought it was cute or it reminded him of you (keep in mind they’re not always the cutest gifts… he’s a menace after all…)
bf!jaehyun who knows you better than you know yourself… he could walk into the room after not seeing you for three days and know exactly what mood your in… not only that but he also knows exactly how to help all of your moods and doesn’t hesitate when he knows something is off… honestly, he probably knows it just through text and knows what kind of mood you’re in before he even sees you…
bf!jaehyun who clings to you as if you’re a lifeline… when it comes to you, he likes to show his love through physical touch… he’s subtle about it in public, maybe his arm over your shoulder, or his hand on the small of your back, but he’s still touching you in some way… but in private? oh boy… he’s clinging to you like a bay koala, whining if you even attempt to leave his embrace…
bf!jaehyun who hates being away from you… but he is an idol after all, he can’t help it… when he’s away he sends you goofy pictures and videos to make you smile, texts you sweet things, buys anything in sight that reminds him of you (and there’s a lot of things that remind him of you)… probably would end up taking an empty suitcase wherever he goes just to fill it with things to bring back for you (even though his managers yell at him for it…)
bf!jaehyun who loves you fiercely and unconditionally… in his eyes there’s nothing more perfect than you… he loves you as if there’s not a single flaw in your body, and he makes that known… and if someone hurts you? good luck to them… nobody hurts his baby and gets away with it and he makes sure of it… but he’s not toxic about it either… he’s possessive and territorial but only when he needs to be, because seeing how happy you are doing the things you want to do makes him the happiest man alive… at the end of the day, he just wants to be the one who loves you, and he loves you better than anyone else ever could
<3
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bluetimeombre · 9 months ago
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.ೃ࿐ 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽
Welcome to the circus
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‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
✧˚ · . 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞, in which Logan fears the worst for you and can’t protect you forever
✧˚ · . 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐲𝐩𝐨𝐨L 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐢e, in which you are the ladypool to his wolverine, part two
✧˚ · .𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮, he's not your Logan, but you want him to be [angst and smut]
✧˚ · .𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓼 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓮, You, Logan, Laura and Charles have to pretend to be a family with the nice people but Logan can’t help thinking what could have been
✧˚ · .Notice, Sometimes, even the big bad wolf needs his calm, in his case, it's you
✧˚ · .ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ?, you go on a date and you know old man Logan is gonna hate it [smut]
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‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
✧˚ 'Are you Hugh down under?' in which fans are obsessed with how you and Hugh flirt with each other at every chance you get, part two
✧˚ You, Oscar and Hugh you and Hugh are the stars of the biggest movie of the summer, and the pair of you are all that is talked about on Hollywood's biggest night
✧˚ NFWMB, you are Hugh's young and controversial co-star
✧˚ You and Hugh are WIRED, Hugh and you take part of the WIRED autocomplete interview
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‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
And I wouldn't marry me, either. ✧.* part one. part two.
You're Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
˚ · . Tom Blyth
Falling out of love. Fans think that you and tom are falling out of love after filming for ballad of songbirds and snakes and you don't post about each other much, so you show them that it's far from the truth.
Third times the charm. Tom and you met over zoom whilst auditioning for your roles in the ballad of songbirds and snakes. Instant attraction and the chemistry was off the charts, everyone could see it, even you two fools. In every interview you did, as co-stars, as best friends and finally, as a couple…
Cowboy like me. Your band has a new single out and a certain actor stars in the music video. Sparks fly just as high as rumours.
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
₊˚ෆ Wonka
Daisy, oh my Daisy
₊˚ෆ Timothee Chalamet
Call it what you want to (ft Tom Blyth). ₊˚ෆ. part one. part two. part three. part four. part five
Wanting you under the Italian sun.
You and Timmy have most been working hard. For the summer, they decide an Italian getaway.
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Jacob Elordi
She's like a shot of espresso
You work in a coffee shop and suddenly Jacob is a coffee enthusiast
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mrs-harrington-reid · 6 months ago
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Begin Again
Snow on the beach
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" I can’t speak, afraid to jinx it. I can’t even dare to wish it but your eyes are flying saucers from another planet. Now I’m all for you like Janet can this be a real thing, can it?” - Taylor Swift
Pairing: Post Prison Spencer x Single Mom Reader
Summary: Spencer's therapist had encouraged him to get back into the dating scene to improve his mental wellness but after multiple failed blind dates Spencer feels that it is doing the exact opposite. That is until JJ and Garcia set him up with you.
Warnings: talking about traumatic dates, fluffity fluffy fluff, post prison spencer just being a little lover boy cutie pahtootie, lmk if I missed anything else!
Begin Again (Masterlist)
It wasn't that the girls Spencer went on blind dates with were horrible, they just weren't exactly the best. His first date was with a nice women that was in the same book club as Garcia. The date had gone wonderful until she asked if he had a chip in his neck so that the government could track him, and he would've laughed if she wasn't being completely serious. The next one was a girl who used to nanny Henry, that was all fun and games until her ex boyfriend showed up at the restaurant and she left Spencer with nothing but the bill.
Then there was the one who had too much wine and threw up all over him, the one who believed that the earth was flat and that the holocaust never happened, the one who just wanted a signed book from Rossi, and so on. He had been on at least ten failed dates within the spand of three months and to say he was over it would be an understatement.
"Oh come on Spence just give this one a try." JJ pleaded as they walked into the elevator with Garcia.
"I just don't see how this girl could possibly be any better than the last ten that you and Garcia set me up with."
"But she is!" Garcia exclaimed. "You see me and the all so lovely JJ realized the problem was that we hadn't picked a girl for you together as a team so that's exactly what we did and she will blow your little genius mind."
"fine." He huffed in defeat "but if this date ends horribly you have to promise to never set me up again."
Both the girls agreed to the deal so Garcia sent him your number as fast as she possibly could've.
All he could do was pray that they were right and that this date would turn out to be better than the last ones.
_
You adjusted your knitted sweater while you intensely examined yourself in the mirror. You wondered if you had put on too much makeup or if your tan knitted sweater with jeans and converse was too lazy for a first date.
"Can you stop fixing something every five seconds your seriously stressing me out." Your best friend Liv pleaded behind you while her head hung off the edge of your bed.
"I'm scared liv this is the first date I've been on in a long time and I don't want it to turn into a dumpster fire of a night." You sighed and brushed out the curls in your hair one more time.
"I think its going to be just fine from what you told me this guy is just as awkward as you are so maybe it's like a match made in dork heaven." She laughed.
"He seems super sweet I'm just scared he's going to run for the hills as soon as I tell him about Autumn."
“If he has a problem with the fact that you have a daughter he clearly isn't mature enough to handle a real relationship and needs to start acting his age."
Most men you tried to date either immediately ran or told you that they "weren't looking for anything serious right now" after you told them a out Autumn. You just prayed that Spencer would be the exception considering he was six years older than you and had experienced a little more life than you had.
The ping of a text message distracted you from your previous thoughts. "Okay liv, Spencer is going to be here in five minutes to pick me up. Theo is dropping Autumn off at seven and remember please she needs to be in bed by eight or else she gets grumpy in the morning and I'll be home at least by eight thirty." You rambled.
"don't you worry about Autumn she's going to have a great time with the world's greatest god mother. Also I already took the day off so go clean out your cobwebs tonight, I got this." You both let out a laugh at her last comment.
"I just feel so guilty leaving Autumn the day she comes home from her dad's. I promise I will be home by at least nine so maybe I can call in too and we can go get brunch in the morning?" You suggested fixing your earrings; finally feeling less anxious about how this would all play out.
Before liv could answer you the doorbell rang signaling you that either Spencer was waiting or Theo had been there early to drop Autumn off. Your heart rate picked up as you grabbed your purse and walked to the front door and slowly turned the knob.
"Hi you must be Y/N" Spencer smiled when you opened the door. You hadn't expected him to walk all the way up to your door and knock. Most of the guys you'd gone out with were the drive by and honk type, especially Autumns father Theo when you were dating.
"Yes I am and you must be the famous Dr. Spencer Reid I've heard so much about." You beamed as you walked out and shut your door behind you as soon as you heard liv open her mouth.
"Only good things I hope?"
"I think we both know JJ and Penelope would never dare to say anything bad about you." You said as you both approached his car, blushing when he opened the car door for you.
You were sort of confused at the fact that he insisted on picking you up. You could’ve sworn that you remembered JJ saying something about how he hated driving.
The drive was mostly silent and sort of awkward on your way to the unknown restaurant that Penelope had insisted he take you to after you told her that you enjoyed pasta, she had made your guys' reservation and everything. And when you arrived he opened your door for you once again. Even after being told almost every detail about the man standing before you still felt extremely nervous to make conversation.
"So JJ tells me that your a teacher." He attempts to make small talk.
"I am. I teach kindergarten, honestly I wanted to be an English Lit professor but you kinda of have to wait for one of those guys to die before the position is opened." You winced at your own shitty joke. You and Liv had always joked about how college professors looked like they were decomposing but Spencer didn't know that. And now that you’re thinking about it you remember Penelope telling you that Spencer was a professor when he wasn't with the BAU.
He let out at small laugh and you were absolutely flabbergasted. He got your joke? And he laughed? You were starting to wonder if this was just a laugh at all her jokes type of flirt tactic. But then again JJ had told you that he was sort of oblivious and bad at flirting.
"That's so true. You know the average age of college professors in the United States is 42 but there are significantly more faculty that reported their age at 55 and above so technically there's a lot more old professors in the USA than young professors." He rambled.
"I didn't know that." You smiled. He did understand your joke.
When you arrived at the front door of the restaurant you were met with a sign that said "CLOSED" in bold letters. You swear you could've cried you were only twenty minutes into the date and it had been so wonderful until this.
"oh...well if you wanted we could find a food truck and eat in my car? But only if you want to." He suggested, anxiously waiting for your response. You noticed him fidgeting with his fingers and you immediately interpreted that he was outside his comfort zone asking you to stay but he was still trying nonetheless.
"This isn't your master plan to drive to some viewpoint and get me in your back seat is it?" you smiled trying to ease his anxiety.
"I promise" he held his hands up.
You both walked back to his car unable to stop smiling. He was glad that you already weren't like the other girls he had gone on dates with. And you were happy that he wasn't as douche like the other guys you had been on dates with but you also still needed to tell him about autumn before you fully came to any conclusion about his character.
"Spencer before we continue this date I have something I need to tell you." You stopped walking and looked at him and he had fully set into a panic. This is it. This is when you would turn out to be just as insane as the other ones. He braced himself for your next words. "I have a one year daughter. I needed to tell you before I got too attached and you decided to run. I told JJ and Penelope not to tell you so that I could see how you reacted."
He exhaled a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. "That's a relief."
You quirked your brow at him. "So you don't care that I have a daughter at home?"
"Not at all" he reassured you "I actually quite like kids. I've never had any of my own but I have my two godsons and they're wonderful." You smiled at him. How could he have been so damn perfect.
You continued walking and he opened the door for you once again when you reached his car. And once you were both in the small talk started up again. "So I assume you know how I know JJ and Garcia but how did you meet them." He was still astounded at the fact that they both knew someone this perfect and didn't set you up with him sooner.
"I used to be Henry's teacher and then when my I had my daughter me and JJ were in a mom group together and we became friends. And then I met Penelope when JJ invited me out one night and I've been friends with the both of them ever since." You responded. "And I'm guessing your Henry's godfather that he dressed up as for Halloween when I had him as a student?"
"How did you know? That was such a long time ago I'm surprised you even remember that." He smiled at the fond memory.
"Because it was probably the cutest little costume I had ever seen and extremely creative might I add. My daughter was a pumpkin for her first Halloween and Henry beat her in cuteness by a long shot." You gushed. "But don't ever tell her I said that."
"Can you tell me about her? Your daughter." Spencer asked. You felt like you needed to pinch your arm to see if this was real.
"Her name is Autumn. I named her that because she was born in October and my favorite poem is Autumn by Alice Clary. She has so much personality for a one year old and she’s just so beautiful and amazing. I never saw myself being a mom but now that I am I couldn’t imagine anything else." He admired the way your eyes sparkled and your voiced softened when you talked about her. It was so incredible how in love you were with being a mother. He parked the car and you both walked out and towards the first food truck that you had passed neither of you cared what kind of food it was considering you were absolutely starving.
Within the next couple of hours you had both ordered your food and we're currently eating it as you spoke on the hood of Spencer's car. He has his head thrown back laughing as you told a story about one of your lousy dates that you had been on in the past.
"So I really thought I got stood up and I was ready to leave until this guy shows up and explained to me that he had to have his mom drop him off because he missed the bus. And then he continues to tell me all about how he still lived in her basement and was unemployed." You laughed.
"What did you tell him."
"I pretended that Autumns dad called me and told me that she was sick and I had to leave immediately." You responded "and then he asked me if I could take him back to his mom's house on my way. I ended up taking him home and paying for my own dinner."
"I can do you one better." Spencer laughed "One time JJ set me up with this woman from your mom group named Amy and she seemed okay until she started drinking and in the middle of me telling her what I do for a living she threw up all over me in the middle of the restaurant. I had to carry her out because she could barely walk and I swear my car smelled like puke for a week."
"why would JJ even set you up with her" you wheezed "we literally call her alcoholic Amy. She always has a flask in her son’s diaper bag it’s absurd.” You giggled.
Spencer sat there admiring your beauty as you laughed. Something about you made him feel so comfortable. In the short time you'd known each other you made him feel so comfortable that he didn't need to hide behind all his knowledge. Comfortable enough that he could just be a carefree and casual version of himself that he barely even knew existed. He felt bold and confident in your presence and it made him so truly happy.
Your phone starting to ring. You picked it up extremely fast, scared that it was Liv wanting to face time to tell you that something was wrong with Autumn. But Penelope's name and face was the only thing that covered your screen.
"Oh look who it is." You giggled and flashed your phone at Spencer before you answered. "Hey pen, what's up?"
"So I was calling to ask how the date went but then I realized that I had gotten the confirmation for your guys' reservation at six this morning and I thought it was weird but sei la vie you know?" You and Spencer smiled at her rambling "But then I looked at the website and these people are open at six in the freaking morning! So turns out I made your reservation for seven thirty am not seven thirty pm cause they're closed at five which is completely bonkers if you ask me." She took a second to finally breathe "so I am so sorry if your date got ruined. Ugh and you were the first good one we set him up with too but I'll fix it no worries my love."
"Pen I'm gonna say your hours too late on this call but your all good we found something else to do so no worries." You laughed and turned your screen so that Penelope could see Spencer sitting next to you.
"Oh look at that you guys are still out. I would like to end this call with a quick" she cleared her throat preparing for her next words "I win Spencer, I told you she was a good one! ha!" After those last words she hung up.
"oh my goodness I didn't even realize what time it was" you gasped when you looked at the time on your phone and saw that It was almost midnight. "I'm so sorry I kept you out this late."
"No really your okay. I'd be lying if I didn't already see the time a while ago, I just didn't want this to end so fast." He admitted and it made you heart absolutely melt.
"If I didn't have autumn waiting at home for me I would totally stay for longer but I really should get going." You sighed.
He nodded and took your guys' garbage to throw away before he opened the passenger door for you to hop in. After he got back into the car and put his seat belt on he felt the need to ask you about your previous marriage. Something intrigued him about the fact that you had gotten divorced for what he considered to be at a young age.
“So I know this is sort of first date taboo but um, why did you get divorced? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to I was just kind of curious because I just feel like twenty eight is a young age to get divorced.”
“Oh no I really don’t mind talking about it.” You reassured him. “Me and Theo met in high school. Honestly it was one of those cliche high school sweethearts type of things. I was a cheerleader; he was the captain of the basketball team and our parents were friends so we just thought why not? It seemed right at the time but after I got pregnant with autumn everything changed so I filled for divorce before she was born.” “you know it’s actually proven that children who never experience their parents unhappy relationships actually live a much happier and healthier life than those who experience their parents divorce.” He tried to make you feel better about your failed marriage in his own special way.
“I hope that’s the case with Autumn” you sighed.
“I’m sure it will be. I know we haven’t known each other for very long but you seem like a really good mom.” He smiled as you pulled into your driveway. Neither of you were ready for the night to end but you knew it had to eventually.
“I’ll walk you to your door” he cleared his throat before exiting his car. He opened the door and you both silently walked to the front door but as you went to turn the knob Spencer stopped you. “I’m going to ask you a question and you can feel free to tell me no but it’s going to drive me crazy if I don’t ask. Can I kiss you?”
“yeah” you let out softly. He placed his hand on your cheek and slowly leaned down until your lips met. You moved your arms to rest on his shoulders while he moved his other hand to your waist. Something as simple as a kiss had never felt so perfect to you.
That was until Liv opened the door and cleared her throat in an incredibly overdramatic manner. “Hi I’m Olivia, Y/N’s roommate.” You and Spencer pulled away from each other, cheeks flushed and chests heaving.
“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Spencer” Olivia waited for a handshake that was never going to happen.
“He has a thing with germs”, “I have a thing with germs” you both stated at the exact same time.
“Anyway I should get inside now I had a fun night with you Spencer, feel free to text me anytime.” You smiled at each other with a silent understanding before he walked away.
you walked past liv to get inside. “So coming home after curfew young lady. Tsk. tsk. Did you get lucky?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
“no he was a perfect gentleman and we just got lost in conversation.” You beamed.
“I imagine it was hard to have a conversation with his tongue down your throat!”
“that was the only time we kissed tonight! I really like him liv something about this guy just feels so different. It feels like I was meant to meet him you know.” Liv let out a small laugh but you were completely serious. You knew Spencer Reid was about to change your life you just didn’t know how yet.
“oh my goodness and what was that germ thing about. I mean the man wouldn’t shake my hand but he would swap saliva with you?”
“you know it’s actually more cleanly to kiss than shake hands.”
liv just shook her head “you two really were made for each other. I’m going to bed now but I will be ready for brunch in the morning.” She said before she walked to her room. You threw yourself on your couch and you couldn’t help but kick your feet at just how happy you were and little did you know Spencer was just as giddy as he walked into his apartment.
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A/N: sorry this took my so long to get this out I’m revamping my fics rn so hopefully I’ll be posting more soon! I hope you enjoyed this and heads up I have not proofread so I’m sorry for any mistakes you come across. I appreciate feedback and I hope y’all have a wonderful day and lmk if you would like to be added in the taglist💕
also if any of y’all are into the Harry Potter universe please feel free to check out my other fic im working on called: The Alchemy
Taglist: @witchsbitchestime @sonicthehedgedoggo @feyresqueen @donttrustlove @alcoholandcakes @person-005 @ilwsma @mega-kittyglitter-1 @creative-heart @chicken-fifi
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theoneandonlysourcandy · 15 days ago
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Henry hotline x reader headcanons (but this time there’s a WHOLE BUNCH)
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So I feel like the last Henry headcanons have been too short, I want to feed y’all (and myself) a three course meal, so, I’m just gonna be putting anything about Henry hotline I can think of here and hope for the best!! Enjoy my cringe slop
☎️- Alright, first off, he LOVES giving you any sort of affection, and will constantly hold your hand whenever he’s with you. When sitting next to each other, he’ll put his arm behind you on your chair. Any sort of touch or affection he can get.
☎️- Will tease you sometimes, but never actually be mean to you, he’ll just poke some fun at you, like if your short he’ll say “How’s the weather down there�� or something.
☎️- Speaking of being short, if you were, he’d lean on you with his arm, like putting it on your head or shoulder. Unless you don’t want him too, though. Otherwise your permanently his wall to lean on.
☎️- SHOWERS you in gifts, I under exaggerated how much he gives you gifts in my first post. Anywhere he goes, he’s getting you a gift. It’s honestly insane just how much stuff you have from this guy, and most of it is pretty fancy.
☎️- He’s definitely rich as fuck. No doubt. If you want something, your getting it. A necklace? It’s already on your neck. A new phone? Of course, just don’t call him too often with it. Even if you feel bad about spending so much of his money, he’ll just reassure you that he’s got plenty. More than plenty, actually.
☎️- He’d get jealous often, not like super annoyingly often where if you talk to someone other than him he’d be mad, he’ll just get a little jealous often when your talking to Frankie or deputy duck-actually, HUGE emphasis on deputy duck. He hates that bitch, if he sees you talking to him he’s immediately coming up and joining the conversation, while giving deputy duck a VERY obvious glare.
☎️- Cuddles you all the time. He loves having your head on his chest while you two watch some corny movie together, or just having you in his arms. He never wants to let go once he’s got you cuddled up in a bunch of warm blankets together.
☎️- Brags about you 24/7, will not shut the fuck up about you when your not around, he’s practically driving Frankie insane.
☎️- Never ever in a million years will he ever want kids, but, he’ll happily marry you without a second thought! Just. . No kids. His headaches are already terrible enough, he doesn’t need anymore screaming kids around him, he’s got enough of them to deal with at the park. And they CONSTANTLY call him!
☎️- Loves to take you out on fancy dates, if you couldn’t tell already, he absolutely loves spoiling you.
☎️- Someone’s making you uncomfortable? He is absolutely livid. He’s immediately coming over and putting an arm around your waist before they can try anything else, and gives them the most passive aggressive smile you’ve seen from him, and you’ve seen those smiles before from his bad temper.
☎️- Speaking of his temper, sometimes he’ll snap at you thinking your someone working on his show or something, but as soon as he realizes it’s you, he apologizes profusely. He feels so bad about it, he didn’t mean to upset you, he’d never want to.
☎️- He’s both a cat and a dog person, he just can’t really choose. Cats are nice, calm and cuddly, but he also loves the energy from dogs and playing with them. If you want to get a cat or a dog, he’s all for it, he doesn’t care which one you want either. If your happy, he’s happy.
☎️- He can start arguments pretty easily with his constant headache, but each time he feels really bad about it, muttering apologies and finding a really nice gift to make you feel better. He’s usually a really good with words and an absolute flirt, but after an argument, he can’t even say a single sentence correctly.
☎️- Speaking of flirting, he does it constantly. Flirts, loving teases, the whole nine yards. His ultimate goal is to make you blush like a tomato. Of course, if your mad or being serious he won’t, but otherwise, he’s cooking tomatoes.
I was in a online class Making This and the teacher randomly called my name and I panicked and scared my cat, hope you guys I was giggling and kicking my feet making this hes LITERALLY my husband Im literally Henry hotlines number 1 fan (btw, if anyone’s been looking for some Henry hotline bots on character ai, I can give y’all my account name so y’all can check out mine, there’s like NO finding Frankie bots and I wanna change that)
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lowkeycasanova · 1 year ago
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the fans love you
i feel like we all know that a lot of vinnie's fans send/spread hate whenever he's simply seen with a girl, but i decided to write this headcanon in which it's the opposite. where the fans absolutely love you
masterlist
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At first he didn’t know how to approach the situation. You know, finally telling everyone he has a girlfriend. He was also nervous about the reactions. Not that he gave a fuck about what people were to say about him, it was you he was worried about.
And how would he do it? Would he make a tik tok? Would he post a selfie with you on his Instagram story and let people put two and two together?
You told him you didn’t care about what other people thought. Well, maybe deep down you cared a little. Who wouldn’t? But at the end of the day, you couldn’t control what other people said about you and their jealousy.
Vinnie didn’t know the photo had been taken until Jett sent it to him. It was a picture of Vinnie sitting on the couch, you in his lap, kissing each other with your hands caressing his face and his hands wrapped around your waist. Whoever took it was at a distance and zoomed in to take it. It was a chill night at the house. You thought you were alone. Guess not.
Vinnie said, “fuck it”, and posted the picture on Instagram. It was the third picture out of six for his camera roll dump. And tagged you.
You braced yourself for the comments/notifications. Vinnie was giddy with excitement as he knew he just dropped the bomb and there was no going back now.
You told yourself that you were just gonna ignore it for now. Check back in maybe three days.
It hadn’t even been thirty minutes and you opened the app. Disregarding the new activity on your end, you went straight to his comment section.
“oh so we hard launching now?”
“babe, that don’t look like me”
“This was my last straw”
“bout to take a bath with a toaster”
“I’m actually sick”
“Who tf is this?”
“SHES GORGEOUS”
“Y’all acting like he want y’all.”
“You two are so cute!!”
“W post”
Of course there were going to be negative ones. But to your surprise, it wasn’t as bad as you thought. There were also a good number of positive ones.
You go to your notifications and it’s flooded. Again, the negative comments were there. Some asking who you were and why you were with Vinnie. Some putting the throwing up emoji. Nothing that you didn’t expect. Even Vinnie was surprised at the response, so far. He was sure he was gonna have to tell some people off.
In the days to come, he started posting you more since it the relationship was no longer a “secret”. And honestly, it came natural, not looking like he was trying to show everyone he had a girlfriend. He posted you like he would post his friends.
You did the same. Although you both made sure that a lot of things were kept private.
His fans loved that they could see Vinnie from your point of view on your insta story. They loved seeing him act silly while y’all were out to lunch or out shopping because you dragged him. You liked being able to give them that content.
When he would post a video on tik tok and you were in it, some people would be like “she’s OUR gf” and he’d be like “bro what?”
You had an account of your own but wouldn’t post all that often. Vinnie’s fans would comment on his videos, telling him to tell you to post more.
When he streams, he’ll get a lot of “where’s y/n?” comments from viewers. Sometimes they would ask so much that he literally has to say that you’re not even there at the house. He would fake being offended that they weren’t playing attention to his game play. Not that he could blame them. He couldn’t stop thinking about you either.
There would be mail sent to the P.O. box with Vinnie’s name on the packaging label but every single item was for you.
When out in public, fans were just as excited to meet you. You can’t even count how many selfies you took with them.
Even the guy fans. Now, Vinnie isn’t the type to really get jealous, but you could tell something was up by how clingy he got after.
It’s like they loved you more than him and honestly, Vinnie couldn’t have been happier at the turnout.
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lovely-keii · 1 year ago
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being their sibling
characters: kageyama tobio, miya twins, iwaizumi hajime, hitoka yachi, ushijima wakatoshi
a/n: comeback?! 🫣
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KAGEYAMA TOBIO
he thinks everything you do is normal, it skews his perspective of the real world. you’re a great painter? suddenly he’s asking his seatmate why her drawings look like that. you sing well? he tells some kid with an average voice that he can’t sing. you’re rich? suddenly he’s calling someone’s car cheap.
obedient, whether or not you’re younger than him. “get me a glass of water, tobio” “ok.” // “my feet hurt, tobio.” “put them on my lap, ill massage your feet.” honestly, really reasonable and kind
he’s so loud when he gets annoyed though. stubs his toe on the coffee table and the next day, you receive a noise complaint. swears a lot too. god forbid he loses one of his volleyball equipment. he’s going to absolutely flip the house upside down.
kageyama is so transparent with you, literally almost no boundaries. he’ll literally go into your room and is confused why you tell him to get out. “why? is there something you need to hide?” somehow knows your password always “why can’t i use your phone? you can use mine.” bro has nothing to hide, hes too comfortable around you
just dont mess with his volleyball things and you’re all good.
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MIYA TWINS
you three are so loud all the goddamn time, your neighbors hate you guys. the two might baby you or look up to you, but you’re never exempted from their mischief. but at least you have your very own bodyguard and sidekicks.
you own literally nothing. things will go missing from your room, and appear in atsumu’s desk. one time, you see your hand cream in atsumu’s hand, and he’s using it to massage his foot after volleyball practice. “what are you doing?!” “i ran out of foot cream. plus, what’s the difference between feet and hand skin anyways? oh hey, it smells nice.”
you can’t store your food just anywhere too, you have to hide it in the most creative spots just to make sure osamu doesn’t get his hands on it. always makes excuses too. “this is OUR house so this is also OUR food” “sharing is caring, and i’m your brother.”
when osamu and atsumu fight, you either get dragged in or you have to start haggling to get between them. you three will fight about literally anything. mainly because you three love to intentionally annoy each other “get out of my room!” “my feet are outside so it doesn’t count.” BAM BOOSH POW!! knuckle sandwich for everyone!
and you three love to pretend to be characters in the show. powerpuff girls? osamu is bubbles, you and atsumu fight over who’s blossom. alvin and the chipmunks? osamu is theodore, atsumu is alvin, and you’re simon. god forbid spongebob comes on, because atsumu insists he’s pearl.
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IWAIZUMI HAJIME
he’s a great brother, in all senses of the word. you leave something at home and he’ll bring it for you. you get into an accident and he’s the first to show up. you lose something and he’ll find it for you.
you see oikawa so often he might as well be your brother too. when you’re talking to people, the two are so irritating lol. oikawa’s teasing you and giggling about it, and iwaizumi is giving you “the talk” which he’s given you dozens of times.
he likes to scold you, but he’s only really looking out for you. he doesn’t like to encourage you when you cause trouble, but a single text from you, and he’s already grumbling and on his way to open the window for you to sneak in.
if you like any of his teammates and he finds out, you’ll get an earful. “there are so many guys in the world and you like him?! you can do better but you’re settling on so little!” and if it’s oikawa, he’s literally gagging and telling oikawa he isn’t allowed to come over anymore.
but also, he’s paying for your deliveries, opening the car door for you, and making you walk in the inner side of the sidewalk, so you win anyways.
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HITOKA YACHI
she makes you talk to your mom and ask permission for her, because she’s too scared to do it herself. feels bad and gives you some cash or snacks to make it up to you if you get scolded in her place.
brings you to volleyball practice with her, and if you’re classmates or in karasuno too, she makes you sign up as manager with her too. you two are almost inseparable, mainly because yachi doesn’t want to do things with strangers, and wants to be with someone she knows.
loves to go out and hang with you. she’s not really a shopping kind of girl, but you two will literally get lost when you get to stationery. you two will frequent cute cafes too. you go under the guise of studying but get distracted by everything.
in the nights, she’ll do your hair and skin routine, and you’ll do hers. you two have a shared playlist and everything, and the both of you will just talk about everything under the sun.
surprisingly has a large appetite around you. she’ll ogle your sweets. “um…are you going to eat that? just asking…”
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USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI
sibling or not, he’s really quiet. doesn’t like small talk or messing around since he doesn’t see the point in it. also can be super blunt with you so he hurts your feelings sometimes, but he’s always quick to apologize once he realizes you were upset by it. “you might have gotten a higher score if you didn’t waste time on your phone last night.” “toshi…” “sorry, i mean it as advice.”
has really good insight into things, so you often go to him for advice. he’s straightforward and likes to cut to the chase, so he’s rarely in between decisions. on the other hand, he can occasionally misunderstand your intentions and feelings and doesn’t understand why some things bother you.
he’ll call you to the backyard to toss to him every so often. you’ve spent a majority of your childhood passing ushijima volleyballs for him to hit and receive, and waiting for him to finish watching a game so you can watch your cartoons.
he always has tickets for you to watch his games. if he hears your cheers, he’ll give you a determined smile. he’ll find you after a game and ask you how it was and if you had fun. has you ride in the team bus to and from games and no one really pays too much mind. (except for tendou who’ll pester you)
on his way back home after a long practice, he’ll stop by your favorite restaurant and get some take out for you.
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dancingtotuyo · 8 months ago
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9. the fear of what's to come
Woman | Joel Miller x Female Reader
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Rating: Mature/Explicit
Chapter Summary: You and Joel navigate life changing news.
Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.
Chapter Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, mentions of potential pregnancy complications including but not limited to miscarriage and stillbirth, single reference to a fetus being a child (not intended in a pro life way), angst, grief, complicated feelings surrounding pregnancy.
Notes: A huge thanks to my amazing beta readers and friends @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin & @janaispunk
If you have not checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader!
Words: 3088
Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist
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You know three weeks after your missed period what is happening. It’s not hard to figure out. It’s just like last time. Menopause crosses your mind briefly, but the symptoms don’t line up. You’re sensitive to the same foods, nausea rolls in and out like the ocean tides throughout the day. The insatiable craving for a tomato sandwich cements it two days later. Tears run down your cheeks as you quickly finish off the sandwich and prepare another. 
You don’t get excited. You don’t make plans, and most importantly, you don’t tell Joel. You’re 45. Joel is in his late 50s. You know the statistics, the pre-end-of-the-world ones. You can’t imagine they’ve improved. 
Instead, you just hope that when it happens, nothing goes wrong. There’s no DNC, no pills to make sure everything passes properly or ensure no infection sets in. You’ve aided many women through this, many much younger than yourself. Some make it just fine, others have complications with nothing but prayer, poultices, and 20-year-old antibiotics to help. You’re not sure what actually does it when the women make it through. Some of them you've buried. Their faces flicker through your mind. You cannot be one of them. You cannot leave Carter without either of his parents in this world.  
You tell Maria. You tell her everything she needs to know. What to do step by step when it happens. Since Adam’s injury, Dr. Pooley refuses to practice anything more than simple first aid. You’re both certain it’s dementia. You spend most mornings listening to him talk through different lectures he attended. On the mornings his brain won’t cooperate, you sip tea together. He’s writing down what he remembers, but you have to fact-check it. He’s already taught you most of it anyway. 
“You have to tell Joel,” Maria says when you tell her. 
You refuse. You won’t do it. You won’t bring him into this. You have this silent agreement that you’re partners in this world, but he still lives in the house across the street with Ellie. There’s never been discussions about moving in together or anything past that. You don’t call him your boyfriend. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend. Making those commitments, those plans, it will hurt too much when the world takes him away. 
Carter calls him “Daddy.” It makes Joel smile every time. He’s accepted that commitment. It makes you smile too, but there’s still a little ache in your heart each time. Carter knows about Gabe. You tell him stories all the time. If you ask him, he says he has two daddies. One here and one in heaven. 
But you won’t tell Joel about this child. He’s lost one. He doesn’t need to lose another. 
Maria fights you on it. She looks at her son pointing out that she was 2 years older than you are now when he was born healthy. You don’t remind her she almost died, but she sees it in your eyes. You still have nightmares about that night.
You’re firm. You’re not going to tell Joel. Neither will she, and she damn sure won’t tell Tommy either. 
You wait for the cramps and the blood, but they never come. You hit the 3-month mark, your 2nd trimester at the beginning of October. You don’t cry in the bathroom. You square your shoulders. Second-trimester miscarriages happen. Stillbirths happen, but hope gathers in the depths of your soul, growing with each day. You push it away with logic and reasoning. 
Two sides of you war against each other. You can’t bring another life into this world. At one point you were okay with it. You felt safe here, and while you still do, it doesn’t feel okay anymore. The world still digs its ugly claws into this community. Yet, the hopes you used to hold in your mind, the ones you had with Gabe, and the ones you had before the outbreak still linger. In a perfect, uncomplicated world, this is what you would choose. 
You hide the sickness from Joel with relative ease. He’s often awake and out of bed before you for patrol shifts, early morning chores, or waking up with Carter so you can sleep in.
You deliver the Crosby twins a week later without complications. Melissa is only a couple of years younger than you, but at your age, you know how crucial those few years are. When you finally reach your front porch, you sit in the darkness of Wyoming and finally let the tears fall because fate seems to be telling you that this is happening, or just sending you another person to lose. The realization hits you like a freight train. Time is up. You have to tell Joel. 
You crack open the door to Carter’s bedroom. He’s sound asleep and it relieves you to know he's here. You’re less on edge when he’s close, and It means Joel picked him up from Maria and Tommy’s. It means Joel is in your bed.
Sure enough, he’s there when you creep in. He sleeps on his side curled up over your pillow. You roll your eyes. Yes, it's endearing, but it’s also a pain in the ass to get your pillow back.
The bathroom light is blinding at first, but your eyes slowly adjust as you turn on the shower and steam fills the space. Goosebumps spread across your skin as you undress, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. You’ve noticed the subtle changes in your body over these past couple of months, but they’re becoming more noticeable. Your breasts have grown, they’re so sensitive, and your sports bra pulls at the seams. Joel commented on it last week. You joked you were packing on extra weight for winter acting like it was nothing. 
Your favorite pair of jeans no longer fit. You’ve mostly stuck to leggings since. You’re starting to clock the subtle changes in your body. They’re happening faster than with your last pregnancy. The past week, you’ve shut Joel down sexually, scared he would catch on despite your sex drive skyrocketing. It’s been difficult. 
The shower washes away everything: the sweat and grime of the day, your tears, the tension in your muscles. You stand under the water until it runs cold, slipping on Joel’s worn soft t-shirt.
Your pillow is back on your side of the bed, Joel still on his side. A smile creeps onto your face. He keeps his eyes closed, but you know he’s awake. You don’t say anything as you slide into bed, but your anxiety spikes, your heart fluttering in your chest. You have to tell him. 
You’re staring at the ceiling when he breaks the silence. “What happened?” 
You suck in a breath. He thinks something went wrong tonight. He’s probably preparing to dig a grave. “Nothing, mom and babies are fine.”
��So it was twins?” 
“Yeah.” You had suspected as much, but the ultrasound machine doesn’t work, try as you might to get it operational. You hadn’t been able to find a second heartbeat with the Doppler. 
“So what’s buggin you?” His drawl is deeper, soaked with sleep. 
He scoots a little closer, hot breath tickling your ear. You can’t move. You should look him in the eye when you tell him, but you can’t. The words are at the back of your throat surging forward toward your lips. The anxiety in your chest feels like a herd of buffalo stomping across the countryside. You squeeze your eyes shut to try and stop it.
“Sweetheart?” His hand reaches toward you, eyes trained on your profile as concern laces his brow. 
“I’m pregnant.” 
His hand stops over your arm. You feel its warmth so close, and then it goes away. You dare to look at him. You expect him to get out of bed and bolt. You don’t know why. He’s only shown you otherwise the entirety of your relationship, but this is more than either of you signed up for. Instead, you watch as it sinks in. He connects the dots, all the symptoms and signs that were right in front of his face, his subconscious absorbing them, but refusing to put it all together. 
“I’m sorry,” you say.
You look back toward the ceiling, tears slipping from your eyes. 
His hand covers your abdomen, forehead pressing against your temple. He starts to feel the changes to your body for what they are. You shudder. 
“How long have you known?”
There’s not a trace of judgment or fear in his voice, but it does little to assure you. You’re scared. It doesn’t matter what Joel says or does, the fear is overwhelming. 
“Beginning of August.”
“Shit, baby.” He pulls you into him, cradling your head against his chest. “You didn’t have to carry this alone.”
“I didn’t think it would last.” After months of holding the tears back, you finally let them out, a mix of relief and fear. “I didn’t- I didn’t want you to-” 
You can’t finish it. You can’t say it out loud, but Joel knows what you’re trying to say. You didn’t want him to lose another child, and it wrecks him. His grip on you is crushing, but it soothes your shaking frame. Just as you come down, his sobs greet your ear because he’s scared too. Every single fear and anxiety that has come over you the past months, he feels too. Maria’s labor and delivery flash through his mind. If that happens to you, who’s going to save you? 
You reach up to cradle his face. He presses into your neck. Your skin is sticky and salty again, but you don’t even think about it as the man you love and can’t tell cries in your arms. You’re unable to return his soothing squeeze, but you lay there to provide any comfort you can. The two of you fall asleep tangled in each other. 
You feel Joel’s fingers dancing across your abdomen before you’re fully conscious. There’s no rhyme or reason to his movements. His other hand brushes over your temple and through your hair. Every once in a while you feel his breath and lips across your neck, up and down your arm, over your collarbone. It feels like he’s memorizing you, fear present in all of his movements even now. 
You finally open your eyes. His movements still as you look at him. There are tears in his eyes as his head falls forward, resting against yours. “I’m scared.”
“Me too.” You reach out, nails raking across his arm. 
He shudders under your touch. “I wish you told me sooner.” 
You bit your lips. “I’m sorry.” 
He lets out a deep sigh, kissing your forehead. His hand drifts to your abdomen again. You watch his eyes, so expressive filled with fear and anxiety and maybe a little bit of awe and guilt?
“I should’ve been more careful.”
You press your head to his, inhaling softly. “We.”
Joel’s fingers scrape along your jaw, his beard rough against your chin. “I like being a we.”
“Me too.”
Silence settles between the two of you. The wind knocks against the window, but it’s warm next to Joel. His arm snakes around you, tugging you closer to him. 
“I suppose you’ve told Maria?”
You can’t hide the guilty smile on your lips. “If it makes a difference, she told me I needed to tell you right away. Pretty sure she was gonna tell you herself if I didn’t do it soon.” You mess with the collar of his shirt. 
“How long do we have?”
“Figure it’ll be May. If we get that far.” You say. Joel nods and something clenches around your heart, a need to protect him, warn him of the danger. “You know there’s a lot of risks. No guarantee…” 
“One day at a time.” He kisses your cheek but you see all the fear he’s pushing away plastered to his face like a movie poster. 
Joel asks you how you are, but other than that, you don’t talk about it. You feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders but there’s an anvil hanging above your head, waiting to drop at a moment’s notice. 
You’ve outgrown your last pair of jeans. When you manage to trade with someone, they give you a look, like they know what’s going on inside your body. 
You take more naps, sometimes at the clinic, sometimes on the couch. You’re constantly tired. Maria brings dinner to the house every few days. She never asked, but you don’t complain. 
One evening you open your eyes to find Ellie staring down at you, worry etched in her features. It startles you at first. 
“You’ve been sleeping a lot lately,” She says. 
“You’ve noticed?” You pull yourself into a seated position. It feels like someone shoved a bunch of cotton into your mouth. You reach for the now room-temperature water on your end table. 
“You only take naps when you’re sick or depressed.” You raise an eyebrow at her. She crosses her arms as if to say she knows you’re neither right now. “What’s going on?”
You finish off the water. Despite its temperature, it helps. “I’m fine.” You reach out, placing a hand on her shoulder, but it does nothing. At 17 years old, Ellie is turning into a woman before your very eyes. At times, you’re convinced any semblance of childhood has been replaced with adulthood, but there are other times you still see the slivers of the girl you met two and a half years ago. Right now, she’s the one sitting in front of you.  
“Bullshit. What’s going on? You and Joel have been acting weird.”
Had things really been that different in the past couple of weeks? You open your mouth to speak, unsure of what to say. You and Joel hadn’t talked about telling anyone, which seemed silly. You can’t hide this forever. 
The door opens and Carter bursts in with Joel on his heels. A smile instantly finds your lips. 
“Mommy! Look!” He holds up a package of seemingly new Crayola crayons. 
Your eyes widen with exaggeration. “Wow, buddy. That’s awesome.”
“John Lacy found a bunch of them on patrol. They handed them out today,” Joel smiles. “Grabbed you some colored pencils.” He hands a set of non-crayola pencils to Ellie.
“Thanks.” She smiles but is still distracted by her worry over you. 
Carter crawls up beside you, eagerly pulling out the surprisingly intact crayons one by one. Joel leans over to kiss your cheek and tousles Ellie’s hair. She makes a face of displeasure but doesn’t fight him on it.
“You two look like you were talkin about somethin serious.”
“I was trying to figure out why the two of you have been acting weird,” Ellie says. 
Joel’s drops to unreadable. He looks at you and you shrug in response. “We have to tell them eventually.”
Worry makes its home on Ellie’s face. “So something is wrong with you.with you.”
“Nothing is wrong with me.” You sigh deeply. You run your fingers over Carter’s head, kissing it. 
“You’re sure acting like there is,” She says impatiently.
“Ellie,” Joel reprimands, traces of his asshole voice laced into it. 
Ellie bites her lip. It looks like she might be fighting off tears as she looks directly at you. “I’m worried about you.”
You force a smile, leaning forward. Your forearms rest on your knees. One would think it would get easier to say each time. Instead, it’s like picking at a scab that’s not healed. You’re forcing yourself to say something, your brain isn’t ready to accept. “I’m pregnant.”
Ellie sits up straighter, her eyes widen with shock. “Oh wow…”
You wonder if the pictures fill her mind too. She saw Maria the night Elias was born. She saw the blood that covered you. Joel’s fingers brush over your shoulder, squeezing it lightly before they run over the back of your neck. You lean against him. “I’m sorry we worried you. We’re still getting used to the idea,” You say. 
She nods and then her arms around your neck. She basically knocks you backward with the force of it. “I’m glad you’re not dying.”
You squeeze her tightly, a faint lilt of humor in your voice. “Me too.”
Then her voice drops to a whisper right at your ear. “You’ll be okay. I know you will.”  
Your head rests on Joel’s bare chest that night. The full moon sends light drifting through your window, casting the room in a cool glow. You play absentmindedly with the hair on his chest. His heart beats under your ear. The room is otherwise silent. 
“I told Tommy today.” 
You nod. 
“He wanted to know why I was so quiet. Told him I was always quiet.”
That pulls a smile across your lips. “Surprised he shut up long enough to notice.”
Joel chuckles. His arm around you tightens. His lips find your forehead. “I know we’re not ready to think too much about it.”
“Don’t think it’s something we can really ignore.” You nuzzle further into him. 
“Baby steps.” He kisses your nose this time.
You quirk an eyebrow. “Baby steps? Really?” You flip onto your stomach while you still can.
He chuckles. “Poor word choice.”
You kiss his bicep and then his shoulder. He looks at you like your entire world and your stomach erupts in butterflies and twists in knots all at the same time. You still won’t let him say it, but you feel it every time he looks at you like that. 
You rest your chin on his shoulder. “What are these steps you had in mind?”
His thumb traces over your jaw and cheek. “Don’t bolt on me, okay?”
“I think it’s a little late for that.”
He chuckles and then inhales deeply. “I think we should probably share a house. I figured you’d prefer to stay here, but it’s up to you.” He searches your eyes for any signs of panic or signs that you might shut down but finds nothing. In fact, you’re so calm that it’s hard to read. 
“It would be nice to have you officially living here,” you say. It feels right to say, to think about. “And Ellie if she wants.” 
“That was easier than I’d thought it would be.”
“You pretty much live here as is.” You turn on your side, nuzzling back into him. “I’ll miss your fireplace though.”
Joel smiles. “Guess I'll just have to keep you warm instead.” 
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makkarisbelova · 1 year ago
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not really sure how the mcu’s going to come together again at this point but I really want them to include mobius in the gayest and most irrelevant way. like imagine: it’s the next avengers movie. the latest avengers + whatever other superheroes they can scavenge are at the avengers headquarters discussing what to do next in the fight against kang (or whoever else it is if they switch it idk I’m not here for my logistical theorizing). all of a sudden, a security breach. someone’s at their front door, an unknown person unidentifiable to their facial recognition. this intrigues them. they let him in. he’s a man with a mustache and possibly the most non threatening demeanour one could ever encounter. he’s holding an envelope with the avengers logo stamped onto it.
they ask him what he’s doing here. he holds up the blank envelope and explains how he figured their mail go mixed up with his (he lives nowhere near them. like, in a completely different state.) this is also strange because they don’t get their mail sent to the compound. immediately they’re suspicious. especially because the guy keeps gawking at them.
“sorry,” he says. “this is pretty cool for me, seeing all of you in person. it’s kind of like meeting all of the characters from your favourite tv show, except the show is loki’s life so you all come off a little unfavourably—”
not half a second passes before thor is marching across the room and picking this man up off the ground by the neck. “loki? you know my brother, tell me right at once how you know him.”
the other avengers are trying to yank the man free from thor’s grasp. “you’ve got to keep his airway intact if you want him to explain,” the shout at thor. he finally drops him.
“my name is mobius m. mobius,” he says. “I was an agent with the Time Variant’s Authority, also known as the TVA. we were in charge of maintaining a single timeline until recently, when the man in charge of all that died. I didn’t get a name, loki only ever referred to him as He Who Remains— which if we’re being honest is much cooler, I mean he had this variant that was named victor timely but that’s just such a non-villain kind of name, you know, I just thought—”
“get to the point,” one of them demands.
“right, sorry. loki was working with us to figure out how to stop the timelines from imploding. your precious multiverse would have destroyed itself if not for him holding it together now.”
“that’s where he is?” thor asks.
mobius nods. “at the end of time. keeping every timeline intact, every universe safe. he sacrificed himself for me. for all of us.”
“you knowing loki can’t be a coincidence, you must have come here for a reason. what’s in the letter.”
“well that’s just it: I don’t know,” mobius says. “I haven’t opened it. I mean that’s still a felony on this earth, right? I just thought I’d return it. didn’t show up in my mailbox or anything either. just appeared on my front doorstep like magic.”
“not like magic,” bruce says as he opens the letter. “I think this is magic.”
thor grabs the letter and looks at it. everyone looks over his shoulder hoping to read it as well. it’s a single piece of paper with three simple sentences.
My Jane. Protect him with your life. Please.
— Loki
WOULD THAT NOT BE SO FRICKIN SWEET
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moni-logues · 1 month ago
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Dead Man Walking
Pairing: Hoseok x reader (afab, she/her)
Genre: friends(?)-to-lovers, older sister's best friend
Summary: Call my doctor, call my lawyer
Call my brother, call my priest
There's paperwork to fill out
'Cause a dead man walks the streets
'Cause my sister has a best friend
That I've known since I was three
And now I'm gon' get strangled
'Cause we tangled in the sheets
Word count: 2.6k
Content: oral (f. receiving), protected piv sex, drinking, one (1) joke about necrophilia
A/N: I wanted to have this ready to post for Hobi's Return Day 😭😭 but studying got in the way and now, yes, my midterm is tomorrow but fuck it, we ball etc. This is basically a song fic based on Dead Man Walking by Jon Bellion because he just released his first new song in years and I remembered how fucking great his music is. Unbeta'd and unedited PEACE
* * *
Hoseok felt electric. Overwhelmed. As if he could feel every single hair all over his body standing on end. He had performed before, but there was something different about this show. Something that made him feel like he had made it. The crowd was loud; they knew the words; he knew a few people in the crowd from back home.  
One of those people was you.  
Hoseok had grown up with you; you and his older sister had been glued to one another’s sides since you were 5 and Hoseok could barely speak. He was witness to so much of your childhood as you were to his. It made it easy between you, familiar. 
“Hobi!” you shrieked when you saw him, arms extended wide. You were one of only a few people who ever called him that. 
He smiled and wrapped you in a hug, not caring and knowing you wouldn’t either that he was drenched in sweat, wet with it, pressing it against you.  
“Oh my god!” you continued. “I can’t believe your sister didn’t warn me! She’s getting a stern word tomorrow.” 
“Warn you about what?”  
“You! I’ve never seen you like that! You looked cool.” 
“Hey!”  
See? Easy. Familiar. The kind of teasing that made him feel warm inside. Because you were right: he was cool. On-stage, he felt cool. He felt powerful. He felt completely in his element. It was almost absurd: that doing something as simple as performing in front of a, let’s be honest, fairly modest crowd a couple of hundred miles from home could make him feel like a king. In the grand scheme of things, hardly anyone knew who he was, but for the hundreds of people at the venue that night, Hoseok was god.  
“We’re going for a drink, right? Do you need to change or whatever first?” 
“Yes, we are; Ji would kill me if I didn’t take you out while I was-” 
“Take me out? Absolutely not! Drinks are on me. We are celebrating you tonight.” 
“Well, ok, but make sure you tell her you said that. I’m going to need a shower and a change.” 
“Yeah, no worries. I’ll wait at the bar.” 
He didn’t keep you waiting long. It had been some time since he’d actually seen you in person and he was thrilled by the opportunity to catch up.  
Over drinks, you filled him in; he filled you in. The spaces that Jiwoo left between getting patched up over cheap beer and soggy chips. The adrenalin that Hoseok had assumed had been responsible for the electricity coursing through him had dissipated and he couldn’t explain why he still felt it: electric. He felt almost as alive sitting with you in a dark corner of a bar as he had on-stage. He found himself watching your lips as you spoke, as you drank from your bottle, as your tongue peeked out to lick at a stray droplet. He watched your eyes when he spoke, attentive to your reactions, wondering why he hadn’t remembered just how fucking beautiful you are.  
Perhaps a little time and distance was all it took. To take someone whose face he knew like the back of his hand and make it new. Make it suddenly magnetic, unable to tear his eyes away. He had the sense of a building quiet around the table, the other customers returning to their homes, bar staff starting to clear up around them, but he had no intention of leaving. If this night could be 36 hours long, that might be enough.  
“I mean, I’ve got wine at mine?” you suggested when the owner finally burst the bubble and told you to get out.  
“Wine sounds great.” 
Hoseok hated wine, but he’d have drunk arsenic if it meant more time with you.  
“Make yourself at home!” you called as you made your way to your kitchen and Hoseok sank into your sofa cushions. Your home was lovely, just as you were, and he felt a sense of pride looking around it: this house that you bought, this home that you had made. He knew you when you were a gawky teenager (shortly before he was a gawky teen himself) and now you were a woman of the world, achieving things, living a life he now knew all about, that he would always be a part of even if he wasn’t really quite a part of it.  
“You know you’re so beautiful,” he said, words slipping out without permission, as you walked towards him with a bottle of wine and two glasses in hand.  
“Oh no, Hobi’s drunk.” 
“Shut up! I’m serious.” 
You sat next to him and set the glasses on the table, filled them up, handed one to him. 
“No, you’re not,” you argued. “You’re just saying that because I’m the first chick to pay you attention in a while.” 
He snorted. That was partly true. The reason for it, though, was that he wasn’t interested in fucking around. This was his first proper, legitimate tour. He was not about to get a reputation for himself as someone who fucked groupies or even had groupies. The tour was all business. This was the first time he’d been able to let that go; it was the first time he’d seen you for a long time; in some ways, he felt like it was the first time he’d ever really seen you. 
“I’m serious,” he insisted, no dramatics, no laughter. “You are fucking beautiful and I’m sitting here wondering why I never kissed you before.” 
Your eyes met his, uncertain, hesitant. 
“Ho-” 
He placed his hand over yours, his wine glass back on the table. He shuffled himself closer to you, saw you swallow, the pink tip of your tongue roll over your lips—a nervous habit he hadn’t forgotten.  
“Tell me to stop,” he whispered, his face inches from yours.  
You didn’t. You looked at him, slowly dipped your gaze to his mouth, then raised it. Before you could do it again, he kissed you.  
It could have been weird. There was a tiny part of him that expected it to be strange, to kiss someone he knew so well—one of the first people he had ever known—when kissing had never been a part of your relationship before. It could have been awkward. It could have felt wrong. It didn’t. 
He put a hand to your face, pulled you closer, felt your hand on his thigh. The adrenalin was surging, that electricity he had been feeling all night peaking again, crackling between the two of you. He murmured your name quietly, his face still close to yours. You rested your forehead against his, found his fingers with your own and tangled them. Then your eyes met.  
“Is this crazy?” you asked, voice barely a whisper. 
“Maybe. Want to be crazy?” 
You swallowed. 
“Yes... But what’s Ji going to say about this?” 
Hoseok swallowed a laugh. His sister was the last person he wanted to be thinking about right now. 
“Maybe we just don’t tell her.” 
He saw your eyes glitter as you fought a grin and he knew you were in. He wasted no more time, brought your lips to his, found your hips with his hands, then your waist, dared to sneak them underneath the top you were wearing. Moaned because your skin was so soft, so warm, sent a zap of electricity to his cock. You lay yourself back, pulling at his T-shirt to bring him with you.  
“Fuck,” you breathed. “Sorry, are you ok?” 
And none of it was weird. If anything, it was weird how normal it felt, how completely unremarkable that you were biting his bottom lip, wrapping a leg around his back, running your hands over his flushed skin. There was a disbelief in Hoseok: he couldn't believe this was the first time. The first time he was kissing you, sucking marks into your neck that he knew would get him into trouble later. His first time watching your nipples stiffen, running his hot tongue over them and feeling your back arching beneath him. In all the many years he’d known you, he’d never known this part of you, never even really considered its existence but now it was all he could think about, his entire focus. He had gone almost his entire life with you on the sidelines, his cheerleader, his sister’s best friend, his something-or-other that he couldn’t have put a name to and now he was glad he hadn’t. Because it left an opening for this. For his mouth on your cunt, tasting secret parts of you like forbidden fruit, lapping at your slick hole because you were wet, for him, because of him, and he couldn’t stop himself rutting against the sofa, his cock trapped and straining in his jeans, so fucking hard that it ached; it sent its discomfort radiating inwards, the heavy drag in his abdomen pleasurably painful or painfully pleasurable. But he couldn’t stop, couldn’t take his lips from you, wanted you to keep moaning like that, keep moving against his face, chasing your high, using him for it. When you uttered his name in a broken cry, he gasped, almost came because it sounded so good, wanted to hear it again and again. So he worked. Until his jaw ached and he almost couldn’t breathe, until your legs clamped around him and you twisted, pulling him off the sofa with a bump. 
He could only laugh. He was so much better than ok.  
“Are you?” he fired back, hands smoothing the hair from your face.  
You laughed then, hauled him back onto the sofa and kissed him, his mouth sticky and sweet. 
“Yeah, I think I’m ok,” you answered eventually, your voice light and breathy, dazed. 
It was at that moment that your hand brushed against his dick and he shuddered. Your chuckle was dark and you did it again, almost floated your hand over his trousers; his hips jerked of their own accord.  
“Want to get out of these jeans?” you asked, coy, smirking.  
He didn’t need telling twice. Clambering ungainly from the sofa once more, he shoved his jeans and boxers down at once, stepping out of them and kneeling over you on the sofa. 
“Got a condom in your pocket?” you asked. 
“Fuck, no.” 
“No worries. Give me one sec.” 
And he got to watch your naked, retreating form as you left the room. Got to fist his flushed, leaking cock and imagine his hand was yours. His eyes fluttered closed as he thought about your cunt, your sweet, soft, wet cunt tight around him. He swallowed hard, tried to take a few deep breaths, ground himself a little because the last thing he wanted now was to embarrass himself in front of you by coming too fast. It hadn’t been a problem for him since he very first forays in the field, but he could picture it happening, ruining this.  
Fortunately for Hoseok, this time, the nerves made him a little less desperate. When you sat him back on the sofa and sank down on him, and his eyes rolled back in his head, and his heart skipped over several beats, he didn’t immediately come and put an abrupt end to the evening. He moaned, your name coming hoarse and strained from his throat. He put his hands on your hips, not moving you, just holding. He dared to open his eyes and watch your tits bounce. 
“Fuck,” he panted, tipping his head onto the back of the sofa, eyes still trained on you.  
You returned your agreement in breathy, whined affirmations, sounds that reverberated in Hoseok’s head, that he hoped would ring like tinnitus forevermore. You brought your face to his and kissed him. It made him hungry, made him greedy, his fingers dimpling in your flesh, his teeth biting down on your lip. It made him want to fuck you till you walked sideways. 
When his thighs felt both leaden and twitchy, he pulled his arms tight around you, halted your movement, kissed you deeply for longer than he’d intended to.  
“Can we switch it up?” he asked and you nodded.  
You, on your knees, Hoseok sliding in behind you. Your backside in his hands, skin soft, supple, warm. Your back stretched out before him, your hair like a dark-water splash around your head, your face turned sideways so he could see you: eyebrows drawn together, mouth open with your fist shoved into it, as if it could drown out the change in pitch of your voice, the loud cries that accompanied each spasm of your walls around him. 
He snapped his hips fast and hard, his muscles starting to cry out, too, but his fingers were softer when they slipped around your hips, found your clit. Your back arched further, a strained squeal rising from your throat as he increased his pressure, rubbing over it in tight circles until your cunt, vice-like, spasmed tight, your legs wobbling, your voice cut off completely. Hoseok swore, racing to fuck you through it until he could let go, let it all go, come, sudden and strong, hips and breath both stuttering. 
It was quiet for a moment after that, just the rush of your heavy breathing and the tick of a clock somewhere out near the hallway. Hoseok removed himself carefully, disposed of the condom, asked if you wanted to shower with him. 
“Didn’t you already shower tonight?” you ask, prone on the sofa.  
He laughed. 
“Yeah but somehow, for some reason, I feel like I could do with another one. I’ve got no idea why,” he teased, extending a hand to you.  
He wouldn’t usually make such an offer, not unless he was planning to have more sex under the water, but it was you, and somehow that made it ok. Somehow, that meant it wasn’t weird to be naked with you, in a way that wasn’t really sexual, though he took every opportunity he could to kiss you again, put his hands on your body. He just wanted to be closer to you, as close as he could. The intimacy of the shower made the sex seem almost prudish. It was a different heavy feeling in his gut that let Hoseok know that this, for him, wasn’t a one-time thing. This was a cat out of the bag thing. This was a worms everywhere situation.  
That was almost three months ago.  
Hoseok was washing up at the kitchen sink of his parents’ house. His sister was drying and putting things away. 
“Hey, Ji!” 
Hoseok dropped the plate he was washing with a loud clang. He swore under his breath and turned with his heart in his throat, to see you enter the room. 
“Oh! Hobi, I didn't know you’d be here.” 
He thought he saw confusion in your eyes, maybe the slightest hint of hurt.  
“It was a last-minute thing,” he said, cheeks flaming and praying that Jiwoo wouldn’t notice anything.  
Because it had not been a one-time thing. Or a two-time thing. It was a thing that could no longer be counted. Jiwoo lived closed to his parents in their hometown, but you didn’t and he didn’t. That had made it surprisingly easy to feed this thing, tend to it, keep it, grow it, let it embed itself in his heart like ivy.  
But he hadn’t told his sister. And neither had you. And he knew that, when she found out, heads would roll—notably, his. He was a dead man walking and you both knew it. He didn’t mind though, he kept saying. He’d be a dead man walking or a dead man, whichever way it went, as long as he got to keep you, he’d be happy. You told him you weren’t keen on the idea of necrophilia. 
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