#David rossi

[ineedreid]

Rossi: I woke up and chose violence today.

Hotch: You wake up and choose violence every day.

Morgan: Yeah, but today he wrote it down in his planner.

Rossi: *Holds up planner that just says “FIGHT” in all caps*

[minswriting]

How criminal minds characters would react to you, their partner, calling them daddy or mommy?

nsfw | mdni | daddy/mommy kink | only for the characters i write for plus rossi because i need to feed the peepaw agenda

aaron - he has such a daddy kink. he thrives with it. the first time you ever call him daddy, he goes with it immediately. “yeah? daddy’s got you. let daddy take care of you, hmm?” while he’s fucking you so good.

rossi - rossi would chuckle and go “say that again. i like how it sounds coming from that pretty mouth.” and then when you do, he’s cumming very fast because how could he not.

derek - this man doesn’t have a daddy kink. he would go “daddy?” while smirking and quirking his eyebrow. “i don’t think so sweetheart,” before continuing what you were doing.

luke - massive daddy kink!! you’d call him daddy in bed and you’ve got luke groaning as his thrusts get sloppier as he chases his orgasm. “fuck, baby, you make daddy feel so good,” he’d grunt.

jj - jj does not have a mommy kink at all. if you called her mommy while she’s going down on you, she’d stop, pull away slightly to look at you, and say “let’s not call me what my kids call me,” before diving right back in lol.

emily - HOWEVER if you call emily mommy, she’s into it. she’s so into it. in fact she’s so into it that you could also probably call her daddy too lmao. “mommy?” she’d smirk as she’s fingering you. “mommy’s got you, baby. let mommy take care of you,” and she’s cooing, eliciting many different noises from you.

spencer - spencer, regardless of the era, does NOT have a daddy kink at all. you’d call him daddy and spencer would stop thrusting his hips to look at you before the both of you burst out into laughter because he felt so wrong to call him daddy. “daddy? please don’t call me that,” he’d exclaim. “maybe sir but not daddy.”

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

Hold up…

This fandom needs group therapy and I am not paying for it.

yall is just me or does david rossi lowkey have the same vibe as manny from ice age?

do they look alike? is it the hair swoop? idk but it’s SOMETHING

[miedei]

[ssaemilyhotchner]

Spin this wheel to pick a Criminal Minds character. Then:

If you do a full fmk, leave your results in the tags!

h/t @assassinbugs for the idea

[mariasont]

theory and practice

a teasing conversation ensues when you boldly suggest becoming rossi’s fourth wife.

pairing: dave rossi x reader warnings: fem!reader, flirty reader, flirty rossi, power dynamics perhaps? rossi thinking of moral complexities of a relationship etc etc, probably an age gap? it's not explicitly mentioned but home boy is old as dirt prompt: here wc: 0.6k

Rossi tries to focus on the article in front of him, but he can practically feel your eyes burning holes in his cheek. He almost snorts. You’re not even subtle about it. He wonders idly, if you’ve blinked yet.

“You know, if you stare any harder, you’re going to hurt yourself, bella. What exactly do you need from me?”

You tip your floppy head back slightly, resting your chin on your hand and giving him a blatantly flirtatious once-over. “Tell me honestly. Do I have what it takes to be Mrs. Rossi number four, or should I keep working on it?”

At this point, Rossi doesn’t even blink. You’ve made it somewhat of your personal mission to charm him into an early grave ever since day one at the BAU. Your methods are disarmingly cunning, subtle enough to pass unnoticed by less discerning observers, yet transparent to him in their seductive intent. 

There was that memorably orchestrated coffee delivery — leaning forward with an excessive grace, making sure his peripheral vision had an unobstructed view down your blouse. Or the occasion you casually suggested a shared hotel room on a stakeout, ostensibly to save departmental funds.

Honestly, your relentless pursuit of his accelerated cardiovascular decline would almost be flattering — if it weren’t so damn effective.

Rossi gives you a slow, contemplative look, barely masking the amusement tugging at his lips. “Well, I have to warn you it’s a notoriously rigorous screening process. Think multiple rounds of very thorough interviews, background checks, and extensive compatibility testing. You might want to clear your schedule.”

Adjusting your position to sit up straighter, your arms press your chest together, the angle leaving little to his imagination. Rossi’s eyes are thankfully hidden, but he knows you know what he’s looking at. 

“I’m fully committed, Rossi. Hit me with your best shot. I promise, I can handle it.”

Rossi snorts softly, folding his newspaper and setting it aside. The sports section can wait — something he rarely admits, but this is far more interesting.

He gives you his undivided attention, leaning back comfortably.

“Alright. First question. Exactly how many FBI dress-code violations do you intend to commit on a daily basis?”

“Well, how many does it take before you feel obligated to reprimand me personally? I’ll aim for one more than that.”

He exhales slowly. “Ambitious, aren’t we?”

“You have no idea. But feel free to find out.” Your grin widens as you trail a fingertip casually along the rim of your sunglasses. “I’m even more ambitious up close.”

He allows himself a momentary consideration of the tantalizing hypothetical you’ve so generously presented. He wonders how you’d truly respond if, just once, he abandoned his better judgment and actually called your bluff.

You’re lucky, really, that he’s a man who still maintains a stubborn adherence to decency. That years spent navigating the ethical complexities of this job have given him ample reason to value his own carefully upheld morals.

Without said deeply embedded moral compass, however, he’s rather certain neither one of you would emerge unscathed.

“As enticing as I find your enthusiasm, perhaps its best to keep your ambitions strictly theoretical. For now.”

Rossi barely has time to appreciate the fluid grace with which you rise from your lounge chair before you lean in close, eyes level with his own. His breath stills subtly as your lips touch his cheek. 

“Every great idea begins as just a theory,” you say. “Remember that.”

He watches with reluctant open approval as you walk back toward the house. Settling back into his chair, Rossi resigns himself to the knowledge that his professional and personal resolve will continue to be rigorously tested.

Perhaps retirement would have been a safer choice. Still, he allows himself a moment of indulgent appreciation as you disappear inside. After all, even the strongest moral fortitude deserves a brief lapse into harmless admiration now and again.

join me at the beach for my 1 year/4k event!

day 5 extras

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[dorelia23]

I like how Rossi is just looking at Emily like "Geez, I wonder who debunked that!"

(they were talking about Satanist killings in the episode "Lucky")

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

The friendship group everyone hates to see pu.

The chaotic energy I bring

[kiwriteswords]

Scenarios or Character Combinations that Would Have Been Too Powerful

↳Part 1/?

[pho-noodles]

Criminal Minds is the one show where I truly can’t choose a favorite character out of the main group. I love them all so much, they’re all so complex and interesting, and I genuinely root for all of them!!! Like!!! Those are my babies!!!

[ineedreid]

Rossi: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?

Reid: Okay.

*later*

Hotch: Reid! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.

Rossi, whispering: Deny everything.

Reid, loudly: That isn't a chair.

[minswriting]

I just had a thought cause I was scrolling through your blog and I need to know your opinions.

How big of an age gap do you think Criminal Minds characters would allow them and their partner to have?

okay so i’m not gonna bother color coding rn lol but regardless, enjoy!

aaron - he wouldn’t date anyone younger than 23.

rossi - i feel he is a rich old man. rich old men will go 20 or older.

derek - no younger than 5 years younger than him

luke - he wants someone around his age for sure. i think the lowest he’d date is 4 years younger than him

spencer - he would date someone 21 and older

emily - she would date someone 25 and older

jj - she wants someone near her age for sure

[reidologys]

BUSY WOMAN • S.REID

maybe for you, though, i could accommodate..

summary: spencer reid's sweet girlfriend is truly the busiest woman he's ever met. and now he has to get on a metaphorical waiting list. paring: spencer reid x fem! reader cw: established relationship, boyband! reid, sweetheart! reader, garcia might be your biggest fan, reader curls her hair and wears makeup, she/her is not used however wc: 0.8k

SPENCER WAS ASTONISHED. he had never seen someone get up so early after staying up so late.

but every day you proved him wrong. those heatless curlers you swore by took hours to put in every night. and being spencer, he had suggested on multiple occasions that you just start the process earlier so you could have more hours of sleep.

but that was silly. you knew your routine. you had a schedule.

a very busy one at that.

spencer remembered the day the two of you started dating very vividly. even if he didn't have that sweet eidetic memory of his, he'd still remember.

you'd had those curlers in your hair the night before that specific date. and then you showed up, lipstick slightly smudged from the lid of your coffee cup.

you'd just looked so mature. so collected. so sensible. spencer knew he had to ask you out that date. except when you got hit with rejection. but he'd come to find that out only moments later.

he'd been thinking of the words to say while the two of you walked all over the town. it wasn't until a stray tabby cat began to rub in between your legs that his train of thought was completely lost.

obviously, you were excited. bending down to pet that sweet ball of fur with a smile on your face had to be the most precious thing spencer had ever seen.

until the cat hissed at you before running off. you had a displeased look on your face while you got off of your knees. "i didn't want your little bitch ass anyways!" you'd shouted after the cat.

spencer wasn't quite sure he heard you correctly. "what'd you say?" he asked you. and with a pout, you kept walking beside him. "to turn me down? well.. that's just.. so unethical!" your bottom lip was poked out, somehow fixing the lipstick smear.

he sputtered, stopping in his tracks. "be my girlfriend. please." sure it wasn't the most romantic way to get asked out. in fact it was straightforward and awkward.

but that's spencer. he's always been awkward. maybe not straightforward though..

and who were you to turn down such a pretty face? if he wanted your kisses, you swore you'd be his perfect mrs until the day one of you died.

but that was almost a year ago. and you had become quite busy. your openings were super tight. you had to make plans with people months in advance.

spencer had been begging and pleading with you to go see a foreign film with him. it was six hours long and his intention was to translate it for you. and while that sounded fun, you already had plans.

"spence.. i really can't tonight." you'd informed, shaving your legs while perched on top of the bathroom sink. the bubble gum pink razor cleared that warm scented shaving cream that was two dollars more than the normal scentless. but you insisted it was better.

his eyebrows knit together while he leaned against the counter, watching admiring you. his arms folded over his chest while one of his eyebrows raised. "what plans do you have tonight?" he was sure your schedule was completely clear.

there was just so much to shave and you still had to reapply your lipstick. you paused your ministrations to your legs, suddenly looking guilty.

"i don't wanna tell you.." you mumbled under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear. tonight was the bau's weekends off. no chasing after unsubs or working on cold cases. and you weren't spending it with him.

spencer made a face of pure displeasure at the sound of that. he watched you finish your last leg, rinsing your razor off in the sink. he helped you down, holding onto your hand even after so you couldn't go anywhere.

before he could ask you what you were doing, the doorbell rang. you fumbled trying to get your shoes on. but they weren't your normal heels. why were you wearing sneakers? spencer should've been able to figure it out. he was a profiler after all.

you ran to the door, letting garcia in to see spencer. he looked at the two of you, lips slightly parted and eyebrows furrowed together while he tried to figure out what was happening.

"i'm flexible next weekend so just tell me what you like." you told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. the lipstick you had reapplied transferred over.

he looked at you, still trying to figure out where you and garcia were going.

realizing he still hadn't figured it out, you smiled. "tantric yoga!" a proud smile was pulling the corners of your mouth.

that was why you couldn't spend time with your lovely boyfriend. "baby.." he groaned. garcia, however, was not having it. the two of you were already running late.

"namaste!" garcia shouted before shoving you out the door and starting the small walk to the yoga studio down the road.

"you, my favorite girl in the world, look amazing, by the way." garcia smiled at you, holding the studio's door open.

spencer would forgive you for hanging out with his coworker instead of him. it'd just take a weeks worth of schedule clearing for him to stop milking it.

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

Just let him make the best pasta you'll ever have.

[onehundredthousandflies]

Dave: We can't let you do that.

Emily: And how exactly will you stop me?

Tara: We'll call JJ.

Emily: