#i can still see their posts so im vibing
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i love how i cant tell if a major homestuck blogger has me blocked for some reason or if tumblrs just being weird and shadowbanning me but only on their posts. like /gen this place is so broken it could be either and i love it
#who knows tbh#sure itd be cool to figure it out but also like im not gonna go bother them about it yk#if theyve got me blocked then eh who cares (although im dying to know what was the final straw LMAO)#i can still see their posts so im vibing#and if its just tumblr being weird#no surprises there#god this place is such a webbed site#me.txt
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Fop redesigns for funsies but also bcs I saw some star heel boots and had to put Dale in them immediately.
#No Dev in this lineup simply bcs I cannot imagine him wearing anything but his cannon outfit#he has no sense of fashion or personal identity to pull an outfit from LOL#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#dale dimmadome#fop peri#fop cosmo#fop wanda#redesigns#outfit redesign#art#digital art#fanart#Im not gonna be using Dale or Peris redesigns bcs those arent things I see them wearing regularly they were more just fun explorations#Hazel Cosmo and Wanda im def using tho#I know I didnt change Wanda much but#I have a small but insane pet peeve where I cannot stand a characters pants and shirt being the same color.#So I made Hazels sweater more purple and changed her pants to a different and darker blue#Gave cosmo a more relaxed dad vibe while keeping it a button up#Wandas mostly the same I just mostly used her human outfit and changed her sneakers to boots#Peri has less visible fairy features than his parents because hes more insistent about hiding them#Also if Peri looks uncomfortable in his outfit it is because he is âĽ#I wrote like an entire paragraph about Peris relationship with gender identity and how fairy society biology/gender binary comes in conflic#and then I pussied out of posting it so now all you get is peri looking kinda uncomfy in a skirt#The long story short of it tho is that Peri identifies as the human version of male#while the closest he can get to that in fairy society is kind of transfem#So dressing like that around other fairies is closer to making him feel himself but still not entirely right
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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I imagine Randy has made peace with the fact that heâll have to forget being the ninja but if the others find out, how would they take it? If thatâs something thatâs part of HoM AU.
Uh, its kinda very complicated at the moment? <;D
But, yes Randy in HoM AU had sorta(?) made peace with the enforced amnesia at the end of his tenure! Frankly, he had years (and several important character development events) to do it, but when others (will?) find out... let's just say that it cause some split of opinions about the whole thing, lol. But in general, everyone would be very emotional about the whole thing, more than Randy himself! xD
#que?#hom au#hom au q&a#ngl i drafted a vague answer to this ask that i planned to post when I finally move on to act 2 because act 2 touches on this subject...#buuuuuut as yall can see act 2 is still not started and i feel bad i kept so many asks on a backburner lol. so um sorry! for now i only#have even more vague answers as i frantically try to work on act 2 lol#sorry for non-accurate crappy doodle but *shrug* i was going more for a vibe? lol#randy: so ye im supposed to be mind wiped#literally everyone else: WHAT?
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yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is đ
like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly â ď¸ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar
#this might be really obvious but im silly#LET ME YAP !!#dont read this as me making fun of anime only fans#i was literally one until like a few months ago#i just think its unfortunate how different the vibe is#obviously i love the anime though#there are still some things i straight up don't understand how people miss though#like people who watch the whole anime and still think saiki hates teruhashi or nendo specifically#like ? he has some of his most affectionate scenes with them#but i think maybe its because they missed so many of the more subtle details#that by the time they see saikis offu or him saying he and teruhashi make a great team.. it appears more sudden to them than it really is#so they either completely ignore those scenes or dismiss them as fanservice#ugh#its. literally not fan service at all and makes perfect sense if you pay attention#idk how u can watch the sweetest line ever 'we're invincible together' and deny that saiki cares about teruhashi#in general its actually just impossible to end the show thinking he hates any of his friends unless u just ignored things on purpose#even if u ended at the first season like a lot of people#but im just saying i guess i get why its a little less obvious in the show#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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"Beating so fast, seems like it'll burst..."
#crow's scribbles#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#shinobu inuyose#esora shimizu#yuka jennifer sasago#i finally drew something in ms paint after.... a while.#please dont mind how rusty they look (especially esora's hands)....#this is a follow up to kyoko's one yes this is what the other 3 look like#try to guess which starish members i took inspiration from for each of them hehe#i loooove these designs....#should i post the concept sketches? tell me if you wanna see them lol#each of them are matching w one member in one way but still different i specifically made sure of that#i based them off what i think their 2 charm points are similar to love live kinda#esora is the cute and lovely one of course; shinobu is the quiet and mysterious one; yuka is the strong and beautiful one#and then kyoko is the charismatic and cool one duh.#i dont have a favorite design but the one im proud of the most is esora! i think i managed to get her vibe while also keeping the idol feel#i wanna make these types of outfits for the other units but i think i gotta think of something their unit can be other than DJ unit#this can be an au in it of itself but for now it's gonna be outfits for them so i dont go crazy#like. photon = actresses/or takarazuka revue actresses? towa and saki are musumeyaku while ibuki and noa are otokoyaku... maybe.#hapiara and rondo can be a band bc of rei and nagisa but hapiara is pop while rondo is hard rock/metal bc duhhhh (but idk w hapiara.....)#you cannot separate merm4id from clubbing so they're p much just the same except saori is a regular DJ in rikamarika's club w dalia--#working as a bartender there. yeahhhhh.... lyrilily are p much just choir girls now bc thats all i can think of atm (maybe they act too???)#abyssmare and unichord...... hrmmmm.... idkkkkkkk. v-tubing related for sure w unichord but abyssmare i have nothing#SO. now i'll stop my rambling here byeeeee enjoy my losers (affectionate) and my thoughts on this byeeeee
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trying to figure out when the love bullet cupids died based off their outfits except a) there are so little differences in their clothes and b) near zero knowledge on japanese teen trends through the decades not to mention c) assumption their outfits largely stay the same when they turn
#chiyo give me 90s vibes IDK#love bullet#c) i think is kinda shown#koharu just gets a vest and her sleeves done up yknow SO#keeping fucking vigilant for other meta posts tho cos im uselessly googling over here for fashion trends#none of them can be TOO old relatively seeing theskirt lengths#but still maybe pretty old.#ena is maybe a 60s silhouette#but i feel like thats a stretch#based on vibes#.txt
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In the same vein as my Dog Thoughts post about performance foundations last night, the more I watch Sports People, the more motivated I am to distance myself from them and be done with dog sports completely.
#i had this thought while i was still actively competing#but mav was one of the top performers for his breed for his entire career and that is addictive#photographing events this summer doglessly made it sooooo clear that i dont want to associate with Sports People#no offense to those of you who are Sports People but it is so not my vibe#i have FOMO for sure but is it enough to return to that??#(there is an argument to be made that people need to see more people having fun in the ring and keeping it light -#but i am a competitive person and honestly there were periods where i was NOT keeping it light and thats not cool)#i can see how easily i can be sucked back in#i unfollowed and blocked sooooo many people because i simple Do Not Want To See It#idk its the same vein as calling your dog bad or asshole as a 'joke'#is it actually a joke or are you harbouring resentment and justifying it as a joke?#im not sure how exactly they're similar but in my heart they are#there is a very specific flavour thats prominent in dog sports and it is not the right flavour for me#hmm im posting a lot of text posts about my thoughts in the last 24h hope this is out of my system now#back to regular queued pictures of the pubby tysm#eta: this includes confo people btw#it should be Competition People i suppose#sports are at the forefront of my brain because i was so deeply involved for years#but ive photographed enough confo shows to know that is also not the vibe
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YUGYEOM âž [SOLO TOUR 2022] âTo all the fans who came to all the shows, our Ahgase - without you guys I wouldn't be this excited, and this happy. I really mean it. You guys always amaze me. Why would you like me so much? Why would you guys go crazy for me? I'm always thankful, and I want to say that I love you guys.â
#yugyeom#kim yugyeom#got7#got7edit#got7daily#malegroupsnet#kpopco#madstual#flashing tw#lil post i wanted to make for the end of the year bc im proud of him :')#also glad i was able to see him at his first / second shows it felt really special đ#you can see me in the first one hehe#i wanted to include every stop but there was a weird filter on the london vid that i couldnt make work and there was no vid for manila :(#so sorry if you went to those shows and are sad you don't see them here#the caption is also a lil paraphrased but the vibe is still there he loves u#except we got 'you guys' zoned lmao#ilygif#114-122#emigif
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can anybody hear me (pearl and gem sw rebels au????? but also not??)
(messy because im working off of pure vibes for now)
#me seeing theres no star wars au of hermitcraft/the life series: fine⌠ill do it myself#my post#art moment#gem looks really menacing in the helmet. gem can and will kill you. but shes niceys. shes literally just gem.#interpret as you wish#this is an au so things change#(<- being as vague as possible on purpose)#(sw enjoyers scare me)#(im not even tagging sw)#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#it feels so weird to draw pearl with normal eyes and no mullet and no antennae. maube i shouldve made her a twi-lek or something.#itâs still early days of this au and it probably wonât go anywhere ever but i like the vibes
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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đśâđŤď¸
#have yall forgotten how to use tumblr or.#i hate hate HATE complaining but out of 500 notes there are three reblogs with tags like am i going crazy why does nobody say anything#did yall hate the fic or what. bc thats the vibe im getting#im not gonna leave tumblr but i really see why ppl do bc its so disheartening#genuinely i am talking to a brick wall#it really makes me want to not put in the effort to write anymore if no one is gonna say anything to my face#sorry for the vent post but im just frustrated#idk if its my fault or tumblrs fault or no ones fault but#like idk what else to do other than beg ppl to interact. and its not just readers i am fully shaming other authors bc you KNOW how bad it is#and you still refuse to read your friends work#how can you call urself mutuals if you never fucking reblog from each other#its so fake and toxic and im sick of it sorry#im not here to cause drama and i know i sound like a whiny bitch but jesus christ you guys
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hand on my stupid heart flashbacks
this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsăźwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ăźcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortăźPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)
-
When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldnât breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.
He almost went back.
Almost.
He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.
He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.
-
Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting⌠strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.
Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneăźmom and dad called it that, he rememberedăźfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orăź
The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.
While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos⢠off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didnât stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the âwhat happened to you?â and the âwhere have you been?â and the âweâve missed youâ.
Dad scrambled to shoot at him.
Danny fled.
His parents didnât recognize him.
-
The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.
Heâd waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldnât get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeăźor existence. Whatever.
The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, âWho changed the menu?â
Everyone pointed at Sam.
Danny hadnât known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.
This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.
The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadnât been in the crossfire.
Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerăźboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightăźall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.
Surely they would know him on sight.
âWh-what are you?â Sam gasped at him finally.
Danny flinched as if she had struck him. âJ-just⌠your friendly neighbourhood phantom.â
-
Danny didnât know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.
He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldnât help himself. What on Earth were they doing?
They were going to Vlad Masterâs mansion for their college reunion.
It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80âs.
Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldnât see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladăźthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ăźtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.
VladăźPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manăźghostăźwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingăźpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vladâs obsession was overwhelming.
Danny couldnât believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.
#danny phantom#danny phantom au#danny phantom fanfiction#you know that gif of the wailing emoji dissolving? :Why:?#yeah that's what i do every time i remember i never finished HOMSH while i still had the style in my brain#feel free to steal this idea. please steal this idea. please write it i wanna see this idea so bad but im already writing another 100k+ fic#if y'all want me to post the full fic i can but. it is not finished & most likely never will be. sorry again#i won't lie. the haze i was in was a depressed one. i was. not in a good place At All when i wrote HOMSH#like the only part i remember actually writing was the panic attack scene & that's just barely#i reread the whole fic in the middle of the night months later while listening to Implode Alright by Built by Snow on repeat#yeah i cried. this one is funny but mostly it's just. mourning. grief. the works. it's a vent fic & also a. kind of. wishful fic#like. don't you just wish death wasn't so permanent. don't you wish you could tell them everything you wish you could#don't you wish you could just see them again#i'm actually writing this into a bigger ventier series currently called Let Grief Do Its Work#cuz i rewatched LUCIDS again recently & remembered what HOMSH was originally about. why i was writing it#i'm not calling it HOMSH cuz. HOMSHie is my baby. it's its own thing & i don't wanna ruin the vibes#reluctantly admitting i call an unfinished fanfic i don't remember writing... HOMSHie baby... in my head#yeah i have a cute nickname for my fic. what of it#it's 5am & i think i'll throw up if i think any more about posting unfinished unedited pieces of a fic so i'm going for it. cowabunga#go into the world. get your 2 notes you beautiful animal#*passes out*
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may I suggest appletun or toedscruel for the guild second in command character... idk why I just feel like those two fit the character description you gave. also I want to see the funny silly fungi in pmd stories LMAO
hold on.... you may be on to something with toedscruel
#i do moderately like toedscruel... just gotta learn how to draw it/design it#just so we're clear btw. nothing here is set in stone sdlkfjsdklfsd i like persian/toedscruel but im reconsidering the personalities#i reread noe's th profiles and i got bad vibes. i gotta dial her back too. i'll get rid of the ''lazy'' part bc i feel thats a stereotype#and i'll dial back how snarky she is to the apprentices. so its clear that shes joking. ill probably dial up her being kind of a troll#still like her being the ''throw them in the deep end'' type vs toedscruel being kind of a helicopter guardian#again tho. gotta see if i can communicate that in the design#mail#starfalcon555#oc posting#if he doesnt work as a second in command (might choose something less ''sinister'' than persian) then he'll probably still be somewhere#in the guild
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers⌠can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said âfear was another companion it canât be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRTđ & he cared so much he lied so sheâd use it from Gavriel/Rowanđ OH ELORCANđđđ#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion⌠but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly aroundđ#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down⌠my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic⌠or Lorcanâsđđđ¤đ¤¨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks⌠yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. â BRILLIANT QUEEN â lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance â she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. â funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. â agreed heâs the worst#the portrait of hopeâyeah childâs right cause noâElide always naming peâopleâIf you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.âtrue#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH â doesnât need to be a far to catch the lie â WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen⌠The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. â SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. â how many had she done this already?đĽšđ
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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
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