#i can see myself in light
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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hinamie · 4 months ago
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oversaturate
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umblrspectrum · 3 months ago
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happy solvermas
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
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Out of sight, out of - wait.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#granny wen#a-yuan#It's always fascinating how colours translate from the page to the screen.#It would probably surprise a lot of people to see what some of these comics actually look like in physical form.#My lighter colours takes about 3-4 washes before it shows up on scan which means it tends to ripple the page.#And my yellows and oranges are drastically different colours when scanned compared to the ink colour.#There's about 20 or so comics where everyone's hair is purple - because it scanned in the exact same colour as my light grey.#Wait my book is right here in front of me so I can...yeah...Comics 57-77 were indeed purple.#This is all to say - is it not fascinating how what we see is often not the full truth of what the subject truly is?#Is it not fascinating to open another episode that reminds us that despite everyone's claims they could totally spot the evil YLLZ-#-The man walks around among them for months as no more than a man haggling for deals like the rest.#It's almost as if he's just a person. It's almost as if none of us - no matter what we do are really anything more than just a person.#Your good acts will be overtaken by how other's interpret you in negative light.#Just as easily are people willing to forgive crueler actions if they hold you in high esteem.#But what's real? Is the page I hold the real version of this comic? Is it the one you look at?#Is the man known as Wuxian the most himself when he is alone or on the battlefield?#Perhaps he is and has always been a scared orphan boy lost in the market.#I think there is no good answer to any of these questions.#But I do know that panic rising in WWX as he frantically looks for A-yuan was for more than one boy.#To be human is to have layers around a delicate center. We only really grow around our wounds from childhood.#In other words; Donkey from Shrek would also probably call Wei Wuxian an onion. I'll see myself out now.
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siyaazu · 6 days ago
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Ayo who put Your Lie in April into my sonadow??!!!!!
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thelostmoongazer · 2 months ago
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So what youre saying is.... If, in the movie, the pre-50 year stasis took place in the mid 70's, and If nothing had happened to Maria and shadow ......
Shadow could have experienced the Gothic movement in the 80s.....
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positivelyqueer · 2 months ago
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Because I agonised for an hour or more this morning on how i would get groceries before 'allowing' myself to order them to be delivered:
You don't have to push yourself to your absolute limit constantly as a disabled person to prove you are worthy of care and support and recovery/improvement/symptom management. (I know this is a broad spectrum that varies for each person).
Abled people do strictly unnecessary things to make their lives easier all the time. You're allowed to do that too.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 5 months ago
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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lale-txt · 2 months ago
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LALECHINGO!! ; a birthday event
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ it’s bingo! and also a raffle.
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let’s party!! one thing about me is that is love a little event and since it’s my birthday month i felt like hosting one :3c
so: raffle time! but you gotta play some bingo first before you can participate. lemme give you a rundown on how it works.
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what's the prize?
✰ a total of three 1k (or longer) fics from me! i don’t take requests so this is a rare chance to see something specific written by me ✰ the 3 winners will receive a wishlist form from me in which they can go wild ✰ haikyuu x reader only! gender of reader is for the winners to decide, i’ll write for all of them. ✰ not limited to sfw only (that being said: mdni)
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details & rules (it looks like a lot, but i promise it's easy)
✰ to participate in the raffle, you gotta fill out the bingo cards! there’s ten of them in total at the end of this post. some are writing prompts, some are for reading, some to spread some kindness. you can grab and combine any that catch your interest.
✰ 1 bingo equals 1 point. if you manage to fill out an entire card, you’ll get 10 points, so 10x your name in the draw pot for the raffle. this means you can get up to 100 points in total if you fill out all ten cards completely.
✰ it’s not first come, first serve! you got two weeks to have fun with your bingo cards.
✰ this event is mostly about making fandom a little better for everyone, whether you’re a writer or a reader, no matter how you participate in it. this means you don’t have to show me proofs how you got these bingos. putting my trust in you that you won’t cheat <3
✰ since the prizes are gonna be fics by me, i would feel better knowing you actually like my works enough to follow me. however, it’s not a must to be a follower to participate. again, it’s more about fandom than me.
✰ writers picking up the writing prompts: it up to you how you use them! can be drabbles or headcanons, small fics, big fics, moodboards, not limited to haikyuu only. really whatever sparks your inspiration. you don’t even have to publish it or tag me in it (though i’d love to see ofc hehe), this is for YOU and your inspiration.
✰ do NOT bring any ai into this. i'll rip you to shreds
✰ once you’re finished, either reblog this post with your bingo cards or send me an ask with them (i won’t publish them, just for me to keep track)
✰ i’ll draw & announce the three winners on Jan 27th and will contact them through dms for their wishlist :3
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card 1-6 ; for the writers
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card 7 & 8 ; for the readers
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card 9 & 10 ; for the kindness
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that's all! have fun ♡ - Lale
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javierduffy · 3 days ago
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different.
#can’t help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism#i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily#routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun#nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when you’re surrounded by people who DONT#like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are you’re left to just ….#live in your own head forever. i’m certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau#se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but we’re never allowe#d to see the world through kieran’s eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh#at his triggers are or what’s a stim and what’s just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f#or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and that’s why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful#song to him and yet we’ll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe#s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate#to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th#eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec#ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing he’s interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis#h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do they’ll be sure to make#it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdl’s DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders#tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit#h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his#anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di#fferent or why sometimes it’s more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be …. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#i’m not super happy with how he looks in these but i’m just trying to draw more :’) i always say that but i always mean it too#also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. it’s late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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ihatebrainstorm · 1 year ago
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First day back to skool, here’s some early morning lecture doodles courtesy of Aurora’s cursed transformer figures 👍 (Also she drew the first two drawings on the left in the first image)
(go see her cool art!: https://twitter.com/auroisa_yah?s=21&t=EXI579-Bh3o3bNjDPOJASQ )
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slutpoppers · 23 days ago
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ai-the-broccoli · 5 months ago
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light yagami is definitely not neurotypical, imo. I can understand conflicting arguments as to what exactly he has or doesn't have, but my belief that he definitely has some things at least is non-negotiable to me
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karda · 2 months ago
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its slow and tedious. and god still plays her little tricks on me.. but i do really think its getting better
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pasdetrois · 4 months ago
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Marina Dyachenko and Sergey Dyachenko, Vita Nostra (tr. Julia Meitov Hersey) • Mircea Suciu, Camouflage (2) • Agostino Arrivabene, Immutatio • Matthias Claudius, "Der Tod und Das Mädchen" • Henry Fuseli, The Nightmare • Dragan Bibin, Pull (edited) • Maria Kreyn, Angel's Back • Franz Wimmer, Death and the Maiden • Mel Chin, Bat and Dove • Ana Sanchez, Death and the Maiden
#vita nostra#death and the maiden#the gothic imagination#some dread chord#compilations#web weaving#marina dyachenko#sergey dyachenko#henry fuseli#dragan bibin#franz wimmer#myedit#lit tag#litedit#bookedit#quotes one compiles while listening to the lexa lexie edit of house of metal 🎶#VN's themes of fear and metamorphosis got me thinking#beyond the fourth wall breaking+gnosticism aspects‚ it's ultimately a coming of age story right (or coming of Self if we're being literal)#and i would argue the figure of death / metamorphosis (oftentimes one and the same) is a key element in such a narrative#we see the terror turn into begrudging acceptance of the metamorphosis#and sasha does accept it‚ to a degree. to the degree that kostya remarks on how alike she and farit have become#but the story does not end at her acceptance. it ends with her reaching beyond it (esp with the final lines of the book):#“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. [...] Do not be afraid.”#the idea that 'yes you are the final law of this world but not of them all. i can create another one'#also some of the other elements to consider wrt the figure of death concept:#the coins necessary for admittance to the university (reminiscent of those given to the dead as a payment for the ferryman)#+ the instances farit's appearance is likened to an illuminated skull (one of the most harrowing being the last temptation offer to sasha)#+ the students almost being considered dead to the outside world once they cross the threshold of the town#idk it's just a really interesting aspect for me#realizing i probably went a little overboard with all the quotes. well. just know that i had to hold myself back from adding even more 👩🏻‍💻
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hballegro · 8 months ago
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the clock is here. all hail.
i forgot to turn antialiasing to the right settings with my pen so it is. the little numbers are chunky. thats life sometimes. just dont zoom in too hard. if i fix it, i wont make a new post abt it ill just edit it on to this one or something [and state that i did so in the post]
prev post with noclock version
and as promised here is also progress pics, harvested from when i sent screenshots to friends as i worked. as a bonus ive also included various layer names and the 5 different names the file went thru. the parts i [very lazily] painted over with dark blue had not been done yet, ergo anything with dark blue over it is just the picture itself so do not regard it
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i will now be nice to myself and work on my fanfic and smaller drawings for a while. i will do eye posts sometimes still when i get a slow day and wanna do some peepers for 3 hours, i have collected many eyes [klinger, fr mulcahy, trapper, margaret, charles, hawkeye, bj. ive been busy stealing eyeballs to paint on. theyre all on one document its pretty funny]. i will be doing my best to force the cast into my style so i can do quick stuff.
i also WILL do more paintings of full shots again, but. fellas. ive done 3 back to back full paintings with no other digital art projects in between.
this has been NOT good planning lol
not sure if i should tag everything again so i will just. do so? idk i have not been on tumblr hardcore since like 2018 and have never regularly posted so idk proper etiquette. im gonna leave off characters for this one ig
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