#i can only write them as toxic because they are inherently toxic

[benjamin-ovich]

okay but you CAN NOT tell us that and then not give us a snippet. give us a snippet. this is a sign from god to give us a snippet

ask and you shall receive, queen (nsfw)

“What has being in love with James brought you? Nothing but misery and heartbreak.” Remus starts stroking Sirius off as he speaks, in a soft and mocking tone. “He uses you, Padfoot, then goes home to someone else once he’s good and satisfied. But you know that. You just roll over and let it happen anyway, because – Merlin, I can’t imagine why, but you do, and where’s it gotten you? You’re so in love with James, you’ve forgotten how to love yourself. ”

Sirius can't speak – when Remus finally lets go of his throat he can only suck in several huge, gasping lungfuls of air, his face white and bloodless. An involuntary, shuddering moan escapes him when Remus’ hand increases its pace, and, fuck – despite himself, Sirius feels oddly turned on by this side of his friend, who’s always seemed so mild-mannered, so controlled around him…

“Do it again,” he manages, in a hoarse voice.

Remus frowns. “What?”

“What you just did. Choke me.”

Remus doesn’t wait for him to ask twice, just does it; in an instant his fingers have wrapped around Sirius’ neck again, squeezing tight. Sirius moans, a flux of pleasure rushing straight to his head, his eyes fixed on Remus the entire time. Without air to breathe, there’s no room for emotion, no room for thought, no room even for pain. Everything in his brain goes blissfully silent, all the bitterness and misery vanishing into black smoke. 

“You like the pain, don’t you?” Remus continues, barely above a whisper, still pumping Sirius’ cock with his other hand. “You know, I never understood it, your whole thing – why you throw your entire life away chasing one person, why you wreck every good thing you’re given – but I think I get it now. You, Sirius Black, are a fucking masochist – I mean, literally. That’s why you’re letting me talk to you like this, because it turns you on, doesn’t it? You like being told how pathetic you are, you like the pain and the humiliation of your worst fears about yourself coming true.”

When Remus lets him breathe, Sirius kisses him, gasping and moaning into Remus’ open mouth. His whole body is thrumming with heat, a dizzying blend of fury and lust that sets his veins afire. “Fuck, Remus, don’t stop – do it again, again.”

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[vervaincircle]

what kills me about those types of fans that act like it’s illegal to criticize legacies is like

i have criticisms for all three of the shows. i’m not “some toxic hosie” who specifically hates legacies. 😭 i have truckloads of critiques for all three shows? it’s not illegal to criticize legacies now just because you guys had your feelings hurt by some 15yo on twitter who said they were a hosie in like 2019

i only talk about these criticisms at all because i enjoy the shows. i care about them both being good (why else would i attach to them) and also having not really met their potential. all of them are completed and i still cared enough to come back and rewatch them and dissect what i love or don’t love about them while preparing notes for my fics. legacies had SO much potential and it did have a lot of good things about it that kept us so invested we were hooked. only a show with good characters can manage ship wars on this scale because we’re all invested

criticism of tv is not a bad thing. i feel like people have gotten their wires crossed and think all criticism is toxicity now. i’ve never sent hate to the writers or even to julie plec herself, despite thinking some of her actions actually were just awful. but i’m still going to talk about things i think could’ve been done better because it’s my blog and if people are upset then oh well, atp?

it’s really bizarre and irritating how tv fandoms and the way the internet just generally is now have created this space where any critique means you’re toxic or you don’t enjoy something. tv fandoms could learn a lot from people who review books

[rawbin-hsr]

Rating HSR characters in relationships

Title is self-explanatory <3

Characters: Boothill, Dr Ratio, Blade, Aventurine (separately)

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

CW: cursing, mostly fluff and some crack

CW Aventurine's part: toxic dynamics, emotional neglect, jealousy, Aventurine in general

Lmk if there's any warnings I should add!

Had to restrain myself on Dr. Ratio I have soo bad brain worms about him rn he’s all I think about

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Boothill

10/10

DO NOT. AT ME. I PROMISE I’VE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH. I know most people who read that will be like “what the fuck Boothill would NOT be a perfect partner” and that’s where you’re right ! No, he would be an awful partner !

For MOST people. 

But see, he wouldn’t be just ANYONE’S partner. 

If you’re dating him, it means you’re exactly his type and he’s exactly yours. You wouldn’t date a guy like him if he wasn’t exactly what you wanted. He lays out all his cards on the table right away. Your relationship won’t have the chance to even begin if you’re not head over heels immediately bro 😭😭😭

With most characters I can imagine them in a relationship with a lot of different kinds of people. Like for example yeah I can imagine Aventurine both dating someone more reserved and sweet or someone bold and loud. Or someone like Argenti Lord knows that man could love ANYONE (or anyTHING tbh), but with Boothill there’s just a very narrow range of personalities I can imagine him with. Hence the rating cause he’d only be in one kind of relationship. 

You guys are a POWER COUPLE I tell you. It’s SICKENING how much you love each other and how well you fit together. Two peas in a pod. I’m gonna throw up. 

You both love the exact same things, you both HATE the exact same things, and you are both equally deranged and insane

The IPC hates to see you coming 💀🙏

You’re constantly in a friendly competition to outdo each other. Who has the higher bounty ? (Usually him) Who can drink most alcohol before blacking out ? (You, surprisingly) Who can kiss the other the most times during this high-speed chase ? (You always tie on this)

He swallows a bullet. You say “I’ll do you one better!” and swallow a knife. You are a human and so he needs to take you to the hospital so you don’t fucking die

(You both think it’s funny afterwards so it’s okay)

Even when you guys “argue” it’s never really that serious. Honestly you both think it’s kind of hot…… you argue in a devious, sexy way……. *smirks mischievously*

Sorry I cannot take him seriously

You match his freak <3

Nobody fucking likes you together. Separately ? Sure people like you. But the moment the two of you are in the same room it’s like you merge into one singular, horrible, annoying entity and NOBODY wants to be around to see it 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏 neither of you have gotten a lecture about how inappropriate pda can be and also the two of you speak total nonsense it’s incomprehensible to everyone else

Considering putting Boothill on my “do not request” list, not because I don’t like him but because even I don’t understand how the two of you would fit together I can’t write it y’all are that weird

Boothill is for the freaks and he is PERFECT FOR THEM !!!

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Dr. Ratio

9/10

Okay I’ll be honest I’m not very caught up on Dr Ratio (I briefly hated him I only recently started liking him again HELP) so forgive me if there is some mischaracterisation in this I’m working on it my view on him isn’t complete yet 🙏🙏

Though Ratio is very ruled by logic, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have emotions. Furthermore, he views these emotions as important. Logic is not inherently opposed to emotions, and in fact, ignoring them would be illogical. 

That is to say, yes, he’s an intellectual man. But he also has a high emotional intelligence 😇😇

Like not in the way of knowing how to cope with them. I don’t think he feels many strong emotions regularly (except for annoyance lol), so I think he in fact gets kind of overwhelmed by them around you and never knows how to regulate them properly HELP

But what I meant to say is that, in a relationship, he considers your thoughts and feelings a lot and makes an effort to prioritise them. He does not want for you to be unhappy. 

He values you very highly. He takes all your opinions into consideration and treats them with respect.

He loves you a lot it’s actually ridiculous. He frequently gets annoyed at himself for how much he finds himself downright SIMPERING over you. 

And like yes Ratio can be very harsh in the way he speaks but I think that 1, his care for people (including the “fools” and “idiots” he seems to scorn so often) shows and it shows even more apparently for people he cares about, and 2 I think he realises it would be inappropriate to be as rude as he usually is to you. You two are in a relationship, you are not some stranger. He cannot go around criticising you constantly, that would not be a healthy dynamic. Meaning he softens his vocabulary for you. 

His care for you is very blatantly obvious. In the beginning I think he’s a bit embarrassed to show you affection. He hasn’t ever dated anyone, much less been in a relationship, with anyone before you (I honestly don’t even think he’s had his first kiss 😭😭), so I think his inexperience plays a part in it. But he still shows you as obviously as he can that he loves you, and he doesn’t shy away from vulnerability in private moments. 

Bro has researched how to be a good partner trust 🤞

He communicates very clearly with you as often as possible. He hates misunderstandings, and tries to avoid them whenever possible. The two of you are almost always on the same page. 

Whenever you argue, he still does not want you to leave the argument feeling unloved. Type to sigh, let his eyes soften and say “I believe it would be best if we both had some time to cool down”, then squeeze your shoulder as he passes you out of the room. Kisses you goodnight before you go to sleep. It’s often easier to talk it out the next day. 

The only things bumping him down from a 10/10 for me is the fact that he doesn’t have that much time to spare for time with only you (his schedule is very packed), and the fact that he cannot cope with his OWN emotions 😭 Great with yours because he can logistically figure out how to handle them, terrible with his own because they’re affecting his own mind and he isn’t used to it

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Blade

7/10

Surprisingly high rating for a guy like him but I swear I’ve thought about this ok don’t leave 😔😔😔

I think it takes…. A lot. Like a lot a lot. To break through Blade’s tough outer shell

He hates letting people in so much it’s actually crazy

The closest person he has before he meets you is probably Kafka, and that’s not really by his own choice he would shut her out too if he could 😭😭

(Not to say he isn’t like, calm and polite to people. He’s pretty reserved and just, like, quiet ig usually, he only really gets weird and aggressive when the Mara flares up or he needs to be for a mission. I just mean he isn’t gonna be open and available for basically anyone lol)

It’s mainly difficult to GET INTO a relationship with Blade, but if you do manage it, it turns out a lot sweeter than you’d expect

He’s just a deeply tired man. He is not malicious, he is not unnecessarily cruel. He is worn out and sick of living, of never getting the rest he so desperately craves. He finds some sort of respite in you, and so he treasures you. 

He trusts your judgement. He stands by you, no matter what. He’s loyal to a fault once you have him. The worst that could ever happen to him now is losing you. Even when he thinks you’re about to do something stupid (and he always tells you when he thinks it’s stupid), he’ll come with you. Better he’s there to take the hit for you than letting you go alone. 

Even with the smaller things, he shows it even more obviously. He cooks you dinner and lunch every day, so you don’t have to. He lets you decorate his apartment, and he never adjusts the things you place in it, even when it clashes horribly with his own style. He lets you drag him along anywhere, whether it be a concert or a park, without complaint. 

The main downsides with Blade are that he never, ever, verbally tells you that he loves you. Maybe once during your entire relationship he’ll say it, and probably when you’re on your deathbed, but he usually won’t. Even if you try to pry it out of him. 

He can be really mean in the way he says things sometimes, like telling you straight up your ideas are dumb, but it’s always softened by the way he agrees to do whatever you want anyways.

Another frustrating thing is how he cares very little for his own wellbeing. It’s a regular occurrence for him to come home with guts spilling out of his abdomen, and it’s really uncomfortable to see even if you know he can’t die. He can still feel pain, even if he’s learnt to cope with it well. It’s scary to see him so hurt so often. 

But you wouldn’t get into a relationship with him if you didn’t already know all this, hence why I rank him so high. He’s a lot better than you expected when you met him, which means you’re effectively in a better relationship than you’d have hoped 😭😭

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Aventurine

4/10 💀💀

I love him so much (my content is mostly Aventurine centric) but holy fuck man,,,

I have never and will never sugarcoat it Aventurine is TOXIC. Like GENUINELY. I wouldn’t say abusive but he can be really cruel. He gets lost in his own head and takes it out on you in ways he doesn’t really mean to. Aventurine is not a good person. 

He’s fucked up in all sorts of ways and it’s no surprise it could easily destroy any relationship

Trust issues ? Jealousy issues ? Commitment issues ? Attachment issues ? Insecurity issues ? Mommy, daddy AND sister issues ? Every kind of possible issue you can probably imagine ? Yes on all fronts, bro’s the full issue package 💀

It would take a very special kind of person to endure in a relationship with him (I would not be able to do it if he was real I’ll be so honest)😭

When things are good, they’re really good. He can be so fun and playful and sweet and he loves to spoil you and everything that belongs to him belongs to you. He loves you more than the air he breathes and he’d do anything to make you happy

The issue is, most of the time, things are not in fact good. 

I keep mentioning it but his relationships are always such a push and pull. A game of hot and cold. One second he clings to you and begs you to never leave him, and the next he won’t respond to your calls or messages. 

Even worse, sometimes he’ll be outright mean in order to push you away, insinuating you’re “holding him down” and that you’re “wasting his time”. You’ll find yourself questioning if he actually does love you, because what sort of person does this to someone they love?

(It keeps him up at night when he treats you badly. He hates doing it, but he needs you to hate him as much as he hates himself.)

Usually he’s a really smart guy. Even when he does stupid things (things like making a purposeless high-risk gamble, playing Russian roulette), he’s fully aware of what he’s doing. (He does it because he kind of hopes he’ll actually die this time.) But with you, he loses all his composure and can’t really think straight. 

He feels safe with you, and that scares him. He’s a danger to your safety, and it’s better to push you away, make you hate him, than it is to let himself be happy with you. His life is beyond saving, so all he can do to you if you stay is drag you into his mess. He can’t fix himself, not even for your sake. 

He lies to you, he neglects you (sometimes for weeks at a time), he builds up new walls between you constantly, but at the same time he gets insecure and jealous when you hang out with others. Only when you threaten to leave him does he finally start getting his act together, because he realises that now that he’s had you, he couldn’t bear to live without you (even if he knows that’s very selfish of him). 

He gets better with time, but I really, really doubt he’ll ever be fully healed. It doesn’t help that his job wouldn’t really allow it, and he can’t leave the IPC through any other means than death. 

I originally ranked him as a 3/10 (diabolically low rating I know 💀💀) but I bumped him up one because he will get better. If you stick around long enough, he’d probably make it to a 7/10, but since that would take like over 4 years of being in a relationship with him I felt it would be unfair to rank him much higher 😭😭 At the start he really fucking sucks dude I’m so sorry my condolences 

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3

[shima-draws]

Okay so a few things about the ending to the DLC. Spoilers below obviously

-Really REALLY disappointed they didn’t go with the whole toxic possession arc thing with Kieran and the new mythical (Pecharunt?) TO BE FAIR that was more of a fan theory than anything but it was one that made a lot of sense and had a lot of evidence to back it up. I guess I got too attached to the idea and was inevitably let down when the game didn’t go in that direction. Still it would have made more sense to give that extra edge as to why Kieran’s treating everyone so awfully,, and having him finally break free of that control during the final fight VS Terapagos would have been SO sick. Either that or before we even get to Terapagos Carmine calls Kieran out and that’s when he finally fucking explodes and rages and vents about his inferiority complex—and THAT is what summons Pecharunt, those negative feelings that it probably feeds off of or smth idk. Then we’d get a split second of Kieran finally being back in control and begging for help. And then Carmine realizing her brother has been under the influence of this Pokemon the entire time and. Okay I’m getting off track into AU territory now lmao sorry moving on

-Switching back to the Terapagos fight, I really enjoyed it! It wasn’t too long of a fight to be drawn out, but it was just long enough that it didn’t feel anticlimactic (also the MUSIC? STELLAR. Pun intended). ALSO ARGHFHH the five stages of grief Kieran goes through in that fight to finally accepting that he’s been going about this the wrong way and has been an awful friend and the way the LIGHT COMES BACK INTO HIS EYES I ALMOST CRIED. This is 10000x more emotional and powerful if you choose to bring Ogerpon with you and fight with her bc that really just. Hammers in the fact that despite all the bad blood and bitterness, Kieran still chooses to fight alongside you and the Pokemon he coveted so much…AND he even processes things enough to fully let go of all his hatred and anger and allows you to catch Terapagos because he KNOWS you’ll take good care of it and after all this time he still trusts you even though he’d probably hate to admit it. #GOOD WRITING

-Something really scary I realized. Kieran brought a Master Ball with him to catch Terapagos. 1. Where did homie even get that. 2. The fact that he was READY and didn’t even give Terapagos a chance to react, that he was essentially catching it against its will (which probably led to its power going out of control), that he was enforcing his own twisted desires and beliefs onto it and not considering its feelings (sound familiar? Looks at Ogerpon). BOY. 3. We’ve only ever seen ONE other person use Master Balls in SV. The AI Professor. I don’t know if this is significant in any way but if the Pecharunt theory WAS true that would make them so so similar and that’s eerie to me. Two characters controlled by something greater than them that they can’t fight…can you imagine how INSANE the dynamics would be listen to me

-Another thing I was kinda disappointed about was Briar? I guess I was just picking up on the vibes that she was actually a villain and would try to steal Terapagos from the player, but I probably gave Nintendo too much credit on that one lol. I do like that she’s not inherently evil, she’s just too absorbed and obsessed with her research to really pay attention to what’s going on around her. BUT. They should have pushed that WAY further. Either commit and do the full villain arc where she snatches Terapagos from Kieran right after he catches it to use it for her own purposes, or pressure him into Terastallizing it so much that it makes him uncomfortable. I want to see Lusamine levels of unhinged obsession. What she had was just a little bit too excited about Area Zero, not a full blown unhealthy and dangerous thing that puts everyone around her in danger.

-Following up on that. Drayton. I kept expecting him to also go villain arc IDK LOL I guess I want everyone to be gay do crime in this DLC 😂 But I seriously kept thinking he was just using the player to knock Kieran off his throne so he could take it right back from us. But no he actually genuinely cared about Kieran and kept pressuring us to beat the Elite Four so WE could knock some sense into him since Drayton wasn’t strong enough to do it himself. Which is a very sweet sentiment, I think :’) But am I the only one who was like bro calm down right after the fight where he was getting up in Kieran’s face and calling him ex-champion…..either he’s way too honest and doesn’t realize he was being cruel OR he was doing it on purpose to be a silly goober (but everyone else was like DUDE. LOW blow.)

-I still have questions. HELLO. HELLO. The notes in Area Zero mentioned the professor meeting a child with a white(?) book? Is that the Scarlet/Violet book? We still don’t know how the whole time travel paradox happened and why Heath talked about meeting Paradox Pokemon DECADES before the professor even brought them to Area Zero through the time machine? What is with the weird ass crystal tree sitting in the middle of a lake in the depths? Is there any significance to the Crystal Pool in Kitakami being connected to terastallizing and Area Zero? I’M JUST. AGHHH. I’m fairly certain we’re getting more content, maybe an epilogue to the DLCs but I’m going CRAZY I NEED TO KNOW NOWWW

-Also isn’t Area Zero like. Top secret hush hush. Why did Geeta let Briar publish a whole ass book about the HIDDEN SECRET of Area Zero that was miles under a closed off SECRET lab. I thought they were denying Briar access to Area Zero for YEARS, probably because they didn’t want her blabbing to the public. Idk. Maybe my memory is fuzzy on that one. Just feels very contradictory fhhdd

-The small little subtleties of Kieran regaining his regular personality as we went down….I ADORED that. His little smiles and him unable to contain his childish excitement and Carmine smiling at him with a knowing look bc after all this time her brother is FINALLY acting more like himself. And Kieran trying to brush it off like “wh-whatever” like he’s some sort of edgy teenager pretending he doesn’t care. GAHHHH it was so cute I wanted to cry 😭

ALL IN ALL it didn’t QUITE meet my expectations but it was still really good, especially considering this was all DLC content. Nothing will ever EVER top the main story of SV but the entirety of TTM and TID came pretty darn close. Kieran my sweet baby boy my blorbo I’m so glad you got your redemption arc and that you finally came to terms with your perception of strength and how it affects others. Baller DLC Nintendo do it again 👏

[alpaca-clouds]

Something I find super interesting when it comes to the way Durgetash is depicted in fanwork, is how differently it gets depicted in terms of power dynamics depending on whether it is a male Durge or a female Durge.

Most people do seem to very much agree that Durgetash is an inherently toxic ship - where the fun of the ship is that it is toxic. I very much agree with that.

However, the thing I find very interesting, is the fact that Gortash x female Durge tends to have a dominant, sadistic Gortash with a more submissive Durge, while Gortash with a male or even non-binary Durge (though I have only seen like two or three of the latter kind) tends to end up with a submissive Gortash and a dominant Durge. And that is... very fascinating to see.

Fascinating, because it kinda does fit into the entire Dark Romance theme there, and into societal expectation, that women have to be submissive to men, and also cannot want sex and stuff. (It is a whole big research area apparently for sociologists.)

And now, judging by anything but the main tags on Ao3 is not perfect. Because a lot of people do not properly tag the kinks and stuff in their fics. (And just to note this down here: Please tag your kinks when you write smut. For one, it helps people with those kinks to find them, but also it helps those for whom these are squicks to avoid them. Just please.)

Generally there are about 1700 Durgetash fics on Ao3. Of those about 830 are E-Rated. (Not a big surprise.) Generally speaking most Ao3 Durgetash fics are M/M (probably because canon Durge is male), though generally speaking F/M is not that far behind - even though of course the statistic can be a bit messy due to some fics having multiple categories attached. If you just look at the E-Rated fics the Categories look like the right image.

Now, as I said, a lot of folks don't properly tag all the kinks and stuff in their fics. Just for general reference: The ten most common tags in those E-Rated Durgetash fics are like this:

All kinda makes sense in the context of the fandom. Duh.

Now, the interesting thing happens, when I go "Sub Enver Gortash".

Suddenly there is only 20 fics left (again, I do assume if people actually tagged this stuff there would be more), but the statistic looks like this:

While before M/M and F/M with the ship were kinda comparable, now... Well, now it isn't.

Meanwhile, when I use the tag "Dom Enver Gortash" instead, I end up with 51 fics and this line up:

And as I said... It is fascinating. I do not meant that in any judgemental way, but it is a really interesting ship to see this phenomenon on.

Because it really fits well with some theories put out by social scientists on patriarchy, gender dynamics and how it interacts with smutty literature.

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

I really love the game demo so far. I’ve watched day 1 and 2 of the demo played by a Let’s Player I follow. The writing is beautiful and I very much like Garret.

That being said, why is the “bad” and “toxic” character the only nonbinary one? I’m nonbinary and use they/them pronouns exclusively myself, so it’s a bit painful to see the toxic ex character be the only one that’s the same gender as me, and I’m sure to other nonbinary people like me.

Can you tell me the reasoning behind making Teagan nonbinary? Or why there aren’t any redeemable characters that are nonbinary? I understand it’s just fiction, but also nonbinary people don’t really get a lot of representation in fiction especially not in dating sims.

Thank you to much for reaching out and letting me know how you found out about Crimson Hydrangea VN and how much you've enjoyed the game and Garret so far! I'm assuming the Let's Player you're referring to is Espoir Du Vide since she's the only one who I've seen make a video about CHVN. I've been following her for a little while and I'm fan of hers as well. She has a wonderful soothing voice and her jokes/memes really make me laugh!

I also want to thank you for feeling comfortable enough to send me such a sensitive and completely legitimate concern. Thank you for phrasing it in such a respectful and straightforward manner. I'm always open to all forms of feedback and am always open to learning and hearing others out.

That being said, I completely hear your concerns and I can understand where you're coming from. Unfortunately Teagan hasn't had a lot of screen time compared to others in the game (Only really showing up in Day 2). And the limited screen time that they have had hasn't really shown them in the best light.

Of course, I'll go into more depth as to why that is down below just in case people don't want to risk being spoiled.

I also summarized what I wrote below for those who don't want to risk seeing spoilers but want to know the main points of what I said.

Teagan isn't inherently bad and they are redeemable.

While their gender expression is an important part of them and their backstory, their gender isn't and should never be considered a factor as to why they're toxic.

They're toxic because of their actions, not because of who they are as a person or what they identify as.

I also apologize that Teagan's current perception is painful for you and others. That was never my intention and I'm genuinely sorry it's come across that way.

!POTENTIAL SPOILERS BELOW!

Teagan's current perception is completely overshadowed by the fact that they're your ex and you had a terrible dramatic break up. The game currently doesn't go into the decade or so of history you two have. All the sweet and meaningful moments between the two of you, how utterly devoted they were to you, how they supported you through difficult times and vice versa.

Unfortunately you're seeing them through the eyes of an ex who is still processing a rough break up and suppressing/ actively ignoring all of the positive traits they originally fell in love with.

That being said, I will say that Teagan has to be one of the most complex characters I've written. Yes, they are flawed but that doesn't mean they are inherently "bad". Their negative actions are currently overshadowing their positive traits. Teagan does have the capability to grow and learn and improve themselves, if you decide to go down that route in the game.

There were several reasons why I made Teagan nonbinary, and I can assure you that none of them were malicious or ill intended.

I don't necessarily want to go into all of the reasons as to why I made them nonbinary since I feel as though it'll spoil a few key elements about their backstory that I plan on revealing in game.

Instead I'll focus on one of the main reasons you actually mentioned in your ask, Representation.

For me, representation doesn't mean that they need to always be painted in the best light. Yes, they shouldn't be painted in a stereotypical or hateful way, but I also don't think they should be shown as perfect and flawless.

You see, I personally adore character development. A complex and flawed character who learns and grows from the people and situations around them to become a "better person" is my favorite kind of character arc.

What better way to honor Teagan than to show their journey of character growth during Crimson Hydrangea? Or at least that's what my thought process is/was.

I also wanted to mention that Teagan and Garret were created to be foils of each other. Yes, they're both yanderes, but they're still completely different kinds of people.

Garret comes off as very sweet and charming because you're only seeing him on a surface level. That perfect version of Garret is a facade he wears for you and others. There's a deep rooted darkness to him that you'll see in later days and you'll discover just how horribly toxic he is/can become. (Perhaps even more so than Teagan...)

Teagan on the other hand, has already shown you their toxicity. It's all come to light because of the break up and there's no hiding from it. You know them better than anyone else and that has it's pros and cons. Depending on the route you choose, they can either dig their heels in and become the worst version of themselves, or they can finally face reality and take accountability for their actions and start to heal as a person ( and potentially as a partner if you so choose.)

I hope my in depth explanation has helped you understand where I'm coming from and see that there was no intended slight meant towards those who identify as nonbinary.

With all of that being said, I will apologize that Teagan's current perception is painful for you and others. That was never my intention and I'm genuinely sorry it's come across that way.

[ihopesocomic]

It's such a shame how many good brother-brother duos or sister-brother duos there are compared to sister-sister duos

I know it stems from writers always feeling the need to add a man in every woman's life

A lot of writers can only make a character who's a sister if she's a sister to a brother and it's a real shame

Honestly I think Nothing from MP is a pretty good example of that

Look at her relationship with her female siblings/cousin vs her male siblings/cousin

Fire ended up being horrible and Feather is a toxic positive "lemme make you feel bad for wanting to change your ableist name even though it literally doesnt effect me" dirtbag

But Nothing had a better relationship with vs her younger sisters/cousins

Farleap and Silentstalk bullied her and Feather's sisters thought she was weirdo though they like literally never interacted

It's just always suspicious when a writer seems to prioritize a female character's relationship with guys over her relationship with girls

Like their gender shouldn't matter but they'll always pick their male characters first

The sexism in writing still to this day is wild. Especially where so-called independent creators are concerned. Because I thought the whole point of being indie was creating stuff you wanted to see in mainstream media but didn't get, but a lot of it is just more of the same crap you get from bigger productions. So either people want more sexism, or its just baked into their brain and they don't even realize it.

A lot of better stories out there are about brothers (well, I could argue that a lot of it is lazy and that there is no point to the characters being brothers, especially when strong emotional friendships between men are practically nonexistent in media.) and anything having to do with sisters is as I said, either petty nonsense or there's no point to being sisters at all.

And then there's as you said, an inherent need by creators for women to have men be relevant in their lives when that same standard is not applied to men. You can throw a rock and hit a movie or show with a female pov where her only motivation has to do with a man. Father, son, brother, husband, boyfriend, abuser. Whatever.

That's not to say any of these are bad stories. But when its the majority of supposed woman-focused media, it loses its edge as woman-focused when the women in question are focused on men. The writers either consciously or subsconsciously don't get that women have motivations beyond men. This even happens with lesbian characters, where men should have even less relevancy? LOL And it doesn't even matter who the writers are, whether they're men/women, cis/trans, straight/gay, everyone does this. You'd expect better from queer creators but even then there's a clear preference. And they're wont to bring up that "gender shouldn't matter" but only when it pertains to asking why they're so opposed to women being the focus. Its quite interesting.

MP is in an interesting position of hating both men and women at the same time while not commenting on how the patriarchy has negative effects on both men and women. Not an easy feat but Tribble sure made it look easy. She made Feather Nothing's prime motivator for leaving the pride, and while I have my own criticisms of Nothing's "subtle" motherlyness towards Feather, that wasn't extended to the female cubs. Fire is Nothing's other motivation for leaving the pride, and then he turned out to be a wannabe dictator. Quickmane was shown to be a sympathetic and caring mate who definitely wasn't homophobic, but had no qualms about killing children. And then there's alllllll the women who are meant to be oppressed to the same extent as Nothing, but they all somehow manage to be even worse because the narrative wants us to side with them.

And even Nothing's abusive relationship with Quickmane as we've stated in our review is arguably less fucked up than the relationship she has with her own mother. Because we know what they think about each other, and Powerstrike still insists that Nothing's existence is a burden on her soul or whatever. Like what the fuck is up with that?? I'm sure they could've made Powerstrike less-bad than Quickmane, was this some sort of weird equalizer of the sexes? And you can count Nothing's relationship with Sharptongue if you're so inclined to, but even if you ignore everything else she did, Sharptongue would still be the only positive female influence in Nothing's life. But not a key motivator in Nothing's story. Like not even a little bit.

[aspho-bell]

I'll developp under cut

LUCIAN : Ok, from all the characters I have cited ( let alone Ifan's supposed wife ) Lucian is the man I ship the more with Ifan. Because Ifan is inherently rootless, and I headcanon him as always trying to find the place where he belongs ( tbh it'd need a post for itself ), because he is not an elf, but he is no human either. And he seeks that place. And we know that he was very close to Lucian, so maybe what he felt for him was not only friendship, but also admiration, even some kind of love. The kind of love you feel when you idealizes someone, and when this someone makes you feel at home. I will dig into that later, but I headcanon Ifan to have a one-sided love for Lucian, as the man was like, father of two children.

As for Lucian ? Ifan's love wasn't that one-sided, after all. I talked a little about Lucian's tragedy here, but I imagine there is some kind of feeling of desire for Ifan. Desire for his humanity, his golden heart, as he is, maybe, Lucian's idealized reflection. There is some complicated feelings he feels, feelings he cannot understand. Lucian does not love him like a human could, but he defintly loves more than a god should.

I think it makes Lucian's betrayal all the more tragic.

ROOST : I say dark romance because there is no way Ifan could love that man and not suffers from it. Well, if we follow the idea that Ifan longs for human relationship, then Roost is the perfect candidate after Lucian. He's very human, and like Ifan, has nothing left. He's a Lone Wolf, and the way Ifan speaks of him, he was a good friend of him. They may have shared something more - and that something would be horribly toxic. Roost is a cruel man, and Ifan probably had closed his eyes more than once instead of confronting Roost's horrible deeds. The violence flows between both of them. That's why it would be toxic. That's why I say : dark romance forever.

HIS DEAD WIFE : It appears from the alpha version that Ifan was married and father of a child, and I saw people keeping that idea of a dead wife. And I like it ! I always like when characters don't meet their first and only love in the course of the story, meaning that they have a romantic backstory, before the actual love interest. Moreover, his wife's identity ( whether she is an elf or a human, or her job, her personality ) can give some interesting headcanons about Ifan's background. Of course, it's a matter of interpretation, but I think we may have something here.

SEBILLE : From all the origin companions, she is the one that strikes as the most coherent one for a potential lover, due to all the parallels between both of them. Both outlaws, both raised by the elves, both rootless since the tragedy, both having unwillingly commited great crimes against the elves. They would certainly understand each other's suffering, and have their redemption arc together. I am no convinced myself, as they are too similar, but this is a coherent ship I can't deny.

NOBODY : To be honest, if there is no customed godwoken, I tend to ship Ifan with nobody. Because his final journey is, for me, a lonely one, and Ifan has so much good dynamic with the origins characters as friends.

──────

the post i'm currently writing is taking longer than expected, so I give you that while you're waiting for it. There is actually no good answer for Ifan, but personally, I think his relationship with elves and human men is to be developped. This poll is a way for me to see what other people think about Ifan's relationships.

I also invite you to share, if you want so, the way you consider your ship between your godwoken and ifan, or any ship you have between ifan and someone. it may be a good way to see different people's vision. might even do this myself.

Anyway, that is all. Until I post again.

[cyber-skeletons]

ES Megop for ship ask game ? :3

Oh bless you for specifying the continuity because I have THOUGHTS

I'm more than intrigued, I'm fucking obsessed. Probably one of the only continuities where I believe they can recover from their divorce (shoutout to Megatron for going to therapy <3) and be healthier for it, so they're ex-fated enemies. Doomed by the narrative but they pushed all that into their backstory and are defying fate. They also visibly bring out the best in each other and temper each other's weaknesses?!?!?! HOUUUGGGHHHH like look, I enjoy a nice steaming cup of toxic MegOP radiation as the next guy, but I can write/read these two kissing the other's temple in passing and making handmade cards and it's completely in-character. Fucking Peepawcore nerds. That's why I didn't circle "the inherent eroticism of attempted murder" because they don't want to kill each other and killing others just makes them sad. Also I would say they're both cautiously dating AND comfortably married.

(P.S. the "same guy" they're fucking is Elita-1)

[hell-heron]

Show VS books - Theon's choice

So, I was hoping to post this for show VS books day and also to have time to rewatch the show to factcheck my impressions, which was not possible as my streaming service failed me, so I welcome any corrections about what I am writing. (Please no insults or like. Objections to the general concept of comparing an adaptation to its source material or of sharing critical thoughts about things you don't like. I think these are fine and fun things to do, if you disagree, just do not read this lenghty tome).

Still, I wanted to talk about the way Theon's choice between fighting with his family and remaining loyal to Robb is framed in the show, even before taking a very obvious Stark-goggles view the way it did in the following seasons. In my opinion, the show handled the ACOk storyline very movingly with great acting and some great writing, but still fell into the trap of conveying a certain amount of "shouldn't it be a no brainer to pick friend who values you over bio family that hates you?" in ways that in many cases weren't the writing's fault as it was impossible for a TV show to convey the same nuances as the book, but in some other cases might have been avoided. Here's how imho:

Theon swearing fealty to Robb explicitely, everyone's favorite bugbear. Not one I am particularly attached to, because really I think Theon's situation of being sent, while technically a hostage, to negotiate an alliance with his father and being refused remains legally ambiguous and kind of unprecedented whether or not he swears specific words of fealty. If he didn't swear it in the books, did he not effectively do it by arranging an alliance with Robb anyway, even though he couldn't know whether that alliance would really work out, meaning it was always a conditional loyalty? If he did, is it really binding/something he had a choice about? Still, it gives a very different impression to the casual viewer.

General less established worldbuilding on the taboo of kinslaying and taking arms against family which is just inherent to the medium of short-season TV show VS enciclopaedic saga and couldn't really be helped

Not seeing Theon's inner thoughts on the matter of family, another thing which can't be helped, which show his attitude as more nuanced as he's very aware and critical of the toxicity of his father and brothers but still has an expectation of being welcomed. Thus the hint that he remembers being loved and valued as a child even in a broken dysfunctional way and so reasonably expects to be again on his return

Ditto re: Theon's thoughts on the political situation of the islands which he does have an understanding of and feels a sense of duty to improve, mixed with the desire for glory and being a hero to his people

Starting with some things that can be helped: absolutely 0 sense of the Islands as being in a crisis, destroyed, in poverty, or being damaged by Robert and Ned's host or having somewhat substantiated desires of revenge, besides the deaths of Rodrik and Maron.

Actually expanding on this point bc the show chose to not get to any extent into what the relationship between Theon and his brothers was like. In the books, Theon remembers being abused by them and only expresses a desire of revenge when it helps justify himself to his family, developing a frequent theme in the books that vengeance is often very much not a simple and natural feeling but selfish and weaponized. The show understandably doesn't get into this sort of thematic/psychological analysis, so why not use the deaths of Theon's brothers as something that has a bit more weight in his choice? It was not difficult or time consuming to add some comment about their childhood or about mourning them etc, not as difficult as doing some of the other stuff I mention on this list lmao. It would have built more sympathy for him.

Theon is apparently getting no official welcome besides his sister's initiative to seduce him (Its possible Balon sent Yara and Yara independently decided to seduce him, but it meshes kind of weirdly with the way she lets Theon in on his own and then makes her cinematic entrance in the middle of the conversation) in the book, while Theon is unhappy with Aeron due to his desire to have his parents welcome him instead and Aeron's change and attitude to him, he's objectively a perfectly good person to send to fetch the heir, as a close family member and a priest with great authority and respect.

Theon has no one who loves him on the islands, no mother, no Dagmer, no childhood friends he finds he can't quite connect with again, no Wex, no men who choose to remain loyal to him at Winterfell. Wex is particularly interesting because, while some interpret the offering of a disabled bastard squire as a sign of the ironborn noble families's disdain for Theon, I think it's actually a fairly normal feudalistic exchange of favors. After all Theon is asked to take Wex on as a squire as payment for his horse, so certainly with the understanding he's doing the Botleys a solid by giving an opportunity to a boy who would otherwise not be allowed many, and Lord Botley later champions Theon's claim against Euron. So this little detail could have been a helpful shorthand for Theon succeeding in developing some kind of relationships and loyalty on the islands which he could think he might have developed if he had time and proved himself

Theon in the show is given a ship for his diversion raids while Yara gets 30 ships that appear to be the entire deployed force (??), which is a lot more extreme than "Victarion gets the whole fleet, Asha gets 30 ships, Theon gets 8". The book arrangement feels like an insult to Theon but is reasonable for someone who was never a captain before and who's unknown to his father. The show arrangement is a lot more of an open insult that doesn't really allow us to understand Theon's hope to improve his standing.

Probably couldn't have been helped, given the tight timeline of the show, but: book Theon gets a shining military success, though one of modest proportions in his victory against Benfred Tallart's sortie, before he undertakes the mission to Winterfell, which makes the plan seem somewhat less dumb. Also taking Winterfell being his own idea rather than it being pushed by show!Dagmer shouldn't have huge weight in this but it does make his choice seem more motivated (by his own rage and revenge, for his own political aims) and less pathetic

Moving the pivotal execution of ser Rodrik so early after Theon's taking of Winterfell undercuts the slow descent into despair and violence that Theon experiences in the books. We're supposed to think Theon made an irremediably wrong choice when he burned the letter to Robb, rather than having several chances to stop himself on the path to becoming a child murderer which he for various reasons doesn't take.

While Alfie and for once imho the writing as well do a great job of conveying Theon's pain and trauma for what he went through at Winterfell, it was evidently chosen not to focus or even explicitely mention outside the worldbuilding videos (iirc) how Ned would have been expected to execute him and his fear of that. Skipping the Beth parley is obviously a factor in this (which I will never understand, btw, it seems so perfectly made for TV...) , but even the very beautiful emotional moments that were scripted to replace it just focus on other things. The dialogue with Master Luwin for example has Theon associate fear with the walls of Winterfell, in a line so good I frequently forget it wasn't in the books, but still there's a writing choice to center a fear that comes from a sense of intimidation and inferiority towards the people who defeated his family rather than the material reality of being constantly up for execution. That completely recontextualises the situation and his relationship to house Stark

The matter of Theon's men loyalty to him deserves some expansion in general because like... GRRM, for all that we tease him for the "what was Aragorn's tax policy" line, does invest much time and attention in portraying in detail the choices of all his leader characters, their popularity and relationships with their followers. So even Theon whose leadership skills are not very important gets the sketch of a nuanced political situation. We know that Theon leads his men into several missions before Winterfell, that he's able to convince Dagmer to support his plan to take Winterfell and that his men follow him in this high-risk mission, that he punishes them for fighting over plunder and for committing rape, that he has some of them killed and that he executes Northmen to give them a semblance of justice and is haunted by both, that he doesn't feel like they would keep the secret of the murdered boys' identity, that they grow restless and ambivalent during their time in Winterfell but still do their duty, that one of them specifically takes issue morally with him using Beth against her father and wishes they could just have an open battle, that he offers them the chance to surrender rather than die with him and they are reluctant to refuse it but most do it. There was never going to be anything like that in the brief plotline of a minor character, obviously, but needing to simplify, was really "they knock him out and hand him over to the enemy" the best simplification? It was for the theme they wanted to convey, which is that there was a right and a wrong choice obvious from the start and that poor Theon, understandably and tragically, chose wrong.

[yandere-daze]

Love your yandere academy AU!! I have a few Thoughts on it if you don't mind...

First of all the inherent loneliness and otherness you'd feel as the only darling at school? Mwah 🤌 The constant fear of being found out? Delicious. In a way it almost reminds me of Furina in 4.2, having to put on a never-ending show, never letting anyone see your true colors. Her stakes might have been a little higher, sure, but the general vibe is the same.

Next I could imagine darling using the classes as a way to get a leg up on their classmates. They know everything the yanderes do, which helps to even out the playing field, even if just a little. It's easier to avoid being manipulated when you're taking the same psychology classes as the people trying to manipulate you.

Finally I've been thinking about how the yanderes would feel when falling for diet before their identity is discovered. Yanderes falling for other yanderes is rare, and when not reciprocated, it rarely ends well. Especially if darling is a straight A student, they'll know they have to work twice as hard to get them in their grasp, either willingly or not. And with so many people starting to take an interest in them? Even more work. Normally it'd be fine to deal with one or two rivals, but multiple classes of them? Not so simple.

Idk it's just a really neat idea and I'd love to see more of it sometime

First of all, thank you for sending in an ask! I´m very happy that feedback has been pretty positive so far because I was actually a bit hesitant on posting my idea at first. So this is really uplifting! ☺️

And yes, absolutely do share your thoughts with me if you have any, I love discussing ideas with other people, it´s one of the greatest things regarding fanfiction in my opinion 💕

So let´s discuss all of these concepts you brought up for a bit!

Introduction

1k words

gn reader

tw yandere, discussion of normalized toxic relationships, implied stalking, mention of murder

Yandere! Normalized Genshin Academy AU

First of all, yes, you´re totally right! I´m really happy that the inherent feeling of loneliness came through in my writing because it´s one of the first thoughts I had when envisioning this AU. Just imagine how truly alone you must feel, living in a world where all these toxic relationships are viewed as normal and even desirable. All your life, you´ve been terrified of the future, of when the day a yandere desires you would come. You´ve been having nightmares about the day you would feel eyes cling to you way too long for comfort.

And now, you find yourself in this gigantic mess. Not only will you have to stress over your new academy life, but also the people you have to cross paths with in the hallway every day. You have to keep your guard up and play along with the insanity going on around you all day long, you can´t rest or relax for even a second. Because one second might be enough to expose you as who you really are: a helpless darling within a sea of predators just waiting to sink their claws into you.

No matter what, while you´re here you can´t be your true self, you can´t speak your true thoughts because you would be putting yourself in danger. You try your best to stay away from your fellow students but isolating yourself like that feels just as lonely.

And sometimes, you catch yourself almost slipping up when you inevitably have to talk to another student. People like Thoma, Amber, or Kaveh have easy-going and friendly demeanors, they talk to you so eagerly that you can´t help but feel yourself let loose for a bit, only to realize with a start that even these people who seem nice and approachable have to hide dark feelings and thoughts if they´re going to this school. Maybe in another life, you might have loved to have them as close friends but you know how twisted they must be deep down. You cannot allow yourself to trust anyone here and it´s so mentally taxing.

Oh, absolutely! Darling might be terrified by what they´re being taught as if it was the most normal thing in the world but they´re certainly glad to know some of the tricks a yandere might use. They obviously don´t plan on ever using those tips themselves but it´s useful when it comes to keeping their guard up. Thanks to these classes, they know better than to readily accept gifts from any of their "friends" without thoroughly checking them for cameras beforehand.

It´s both a blessing and a curse, really. Darling has a harder time keeping up the facade when confronted with all these new wicked ways to ensnare a darling during classes but they also serve well as a safety precaution. Can´t be tricked if you know all the tricks yourself, right? Though their anxiety would probably skyrocket, questioning every little gesture, gift, or phrase directed at them.

And your last point is also a very interesting point that I would like to elaborate on a bit more! I indeed also think that yanderes dating yanderes would be a very rare thing and I´d even go so far as to say it might be discouraged by society at large. And it´s not for the logical reason one might think of. The fact that two yanderes together would probably cause a spike in murders or similar catastrophes is not the real problem here.

It´s the fact that two yanderes dating each other means that two poor darlings will now have to go without a yandere </3

Even though yanderes are very normalized, I would still say that they´re probably still a minority ( at least I sure hope for the good of the world that half the population isn´t some sort of crazed lovesick fool). This of course comes with the conseqence that there are many more darlings than there are yanderes. Factor in the fact that a darling x yandere relationship is seen as the ideal relationship, something to strive for, and very soon you will see why yanderes dating other yanderes is kind of frowned upon.

Now even fewer darlings will get to have a loving yandere partner!

To you, it´s sick and twisted that this is the consensus, that yanderes and all the horrible things that they do are so romanticized. But at the same time, you´re really glad for this being a thing now because it greatly reduces the risk of one of your fellow students pursuing you for as long as you can still pose as a yandere.

But just because it´s frowned upon doesn´t mean that it´s illegal or that it never happens. There isn´t really any reasoning with a yandere in love so when they have their sights set on someone, there´s pretty much no stopping them. And who would want to be the one to tell them that they shouldn´t be in love with another yandere? That they should give up on you? That wouldn´t go very well.

So sadly enough, once your fellow students grow really interested in you, even you being perceived as another yandere would be enough to deter them. Of course, they´ll have to be more careful when approaching this than if you were a darling. As mentioned, you know all about the different ways to "win someone´s heart" and so they´ll have to adapt their approaches in some way.

Of course, having multiple rivals for your love isn´t making things any easier. Trying to get close to you when you know all their tricks is hard enough, they don´t need any distractions trying to steal your affection. It will certainly turn into a very fierce competition soon and it only gets worse the more people grow infatuated with you.

Your only hope is that they´ll just spend all of their time trying to get rid of the others so that they leave you alone. You´ll certainly have to be very careful about how you interact with your classmates from now on. One compliment and they´ll latch onto the possibility of you secretly loving them as well and then they´ll certainly never let go of you.

Tag list: @charming-mage @blueventss @tonightwrites @lady-of-the-sith-leia-skywalker @kio-may @heartsforseo

[frictionpress]

Writing Advice: Is It a Craft Issue or a Story Issue?

Reposting this piece of advice from my substar!

My evergreen advice to all writers: learn to understand the difference between writing and storytelling, so it’s not as upsetting when they don’t perfectly mesh for you. Writing is a craft, a tool to be used however you like. Storytelling is an art form that you can express with writing.

(This applies to everyone whether you’re writing sfw novels or insane toxic yaoi.)

Writing is an inherently slow craft. You can only really do that as fast as your brain and body allows you to do. There are rules to learn that will help you, like grammar and structure, and tricks you can teach yourself so prose feels fresher, but writing is a lot like hiking. You’ll get there when you get there, one step at a time.

Telling a story is difficult because you have to marry your craft of choice with the art of storytelling. The same is true for comics and plays and video games and novels. If you’re able to identify the difference between a craft issue and a story issue, it will help you so much! This is how people can more effectively self-edit.

I often think about stories like a graph with both X and Y axes. Craft and art should theoretically be functioning together to get your optimal results. That’s a real fuckin’ boring way to talk about the beauty of art, but you need to work with the tools you have in order to get to that “holy shit that was so cool” moment. You need to understand the difference between the failure of a boring sentence and the failure of a boring character. Good craft can only get you so far if your storytelling instincts haven’t been honed enough to recognize how best to implement these tools you have.

Is this scene not working because the prose isn’t doing a good job of conveying the emotions of the story? Or is it that the content of this conversation doesn’t function as a good bridge between this scene’s emotions and the last? You need to see both levels to diagnose problems. The writing supports the story! These two things can harmonize through style, but they can also work against each other when you’re unsure about either element.

In my experience, it is a thousand times easier to fix prose/craft issues than story issues, so I always advise people to figure out their story issues first. I’m also a writer who tends to let stories evolve as I write them, but even I have notes and outlines. I have a vision for what it is I want to accomplish. Sometimes I have to do some writing to figure out the best way to build that story, but I always know what I’m trying to build. I know the skeleton. The way the muscle and fat sits on the body is much easier to adjust than the bone structure beneath the skin.

If I’m writing a scene that I know is important to the narrative, but the prose is coming out too weak to realize my original vision, I will simply leave it in its minimized form, continue on to a scene I’m better prepared to write, and then come back to shore up that weak scene so it can better match what’s around it. Editing is easier when you have those highs and lows to work off of. It’s a very good skill to be able to say, “this part of the piece is weaker, I’ll come back and fix it later” and not drive yourself mad trying to perfect it right then and there when you don’t even have the end written.

If I begin writing a scene and I have a character opening their mouth to say something important, and then I have no clue what they need to say that’s going to solve the plot problem, I will stop and go back to my story notes to better understand the emotions I’m conjuring. This is a moment that I don’t want to skip over and come back to, because it is substantive! This line may get referenced later on by another character. I don’t want to write more load bearing scenes reliant on this one if I don’t know how this particular scene is actually carrying the emotional weight. Substantive problems are far more likely to create more problems down the line if you don’t straighten them out.

I am deeply, deeply against perfectionism in every form. Perfectionism kills art, it stalls your process, it gives you art blocks, it makes you miserable with impossible standards. Stories get written one word at a time! They are simply too long and too much work to get correct on your first try, and pretending like anyone can be perfect on their first try is doing yourself and literally all other artists a disservice. Which is why it’s super important to figure out what kind of problems your piece is presenting with.

There’s a time to just keep writing, and there’s a time to stop and consider what you’re doing. Boring prose does not need to be addressed right away. That can wait. Oftentimes, I find it’s way easier to punch up past scenes after I’ve finished a first draft, because I suddenly have clarity on how the emotional weight is being distributed across the whole piece. I know what comes up at the end, so I can pull those threads back to the beginning. I know which scenes are unbalanced and which scenes are strong on their own.

My general rule of thumb is this:

Is this a substantive-story problem? It’s okay to stop and figure that out.

Is this a craft-prose problem? Put it off. Fix that in the editing stage when you have a completed first draft that can support its own weight.

Plenty of people, myself included, will reread pieces when we come back to them, to re-familiarize ourselves with the piece before starting on the new prose. When I do this, I intentionally limit myself so that I’m not rereading the entire piece every time. I will read roughly a page at most leading up to where construction stopped. I don’t want the new prose to feel totally out of alignment, but I also can’t agonize over every single detail. There is so much work in writing that you can safely put off for later!

For first drafts, it’s good to focus on the parts that make a piece sing: the characterization, the action, the emotion. Figure out your full vision for the piece, get a good skeleton down, and then go back in and use your craft tools to elevate the writing to match the story.

[infiniteorangethethird]

I've been wanting to put my thoughts abt my experiences as a loveless aroapl into words for a while now, and finally I got the chance to sit down and actually write out all my ideas. Obligatory I don't speak for the entire community and these are just my personal experiences; long post ahead.

First of all, there could be many different meanings to the label loveless, depending on who is the one using it. To me, loveless means that I literally do not experience love, that I do not experience the emotions other people seem to define as love. I do experience strong emotions (though some loveless ppl might not, which is also completely valid), but I identify none of them as love.

The reason I've decided to use the loveless label for myself is because after watching people around me for a long while, I've come to the conclusion that I just simply don't feel the same way about other ppl as they do. I hear my friends talk about how much they missed me after we don't see each other for a while, about how much they wish we had more free time so that we could meet more frequently. I see my long-distance friends with whom we only get to see each other once a year desperately trying to find a time we are all free so that we could meet. I get invited to outings with friends before we even have a plan of what we want to do bc to them, the fact that we're spending time together is more important than what we're actually doing.

Thing is, I do enjoy spending time with people. There are a lot of things, activities, that are more fun (or just straight up made possible) if done with others instead of alone. I also enjoy the safety having a network of people around you can give. But at the same time, I've never really felt any pull towards specific people. I enjoy spending time with people in general, but my interest is a lot more directed at the activities we do together and the general concept of not doing it alone instead of the people involved. At the end of the day I don't care much about who those people are, so long as they are decent and aren't actively ruining the experience.

That isn't to say I'm an asshole to them, though. I know very well that friendships (and relationships in general) require a certain level of care in both directions, usually involving spending time together, and just generally being there for the other. I do want my friends to be happy, I do want to make them happy, but it's not really out of an emotional desire to make them specifically happy, rather a more general inner drive to be good to people. I will put in the effort to socialize, to spend time with people, to listen to them and be there for them emotionally bc I know that's what it takes to maintain a relationship, but it's always going to be somewhat impersonal and more I do out of duty than out of an emotional drive to get closer to them.

And yet, the fact that the general population does seem to have this emotional drive while I never felt anything like it made me feel for the longest time that there was something wrong with me. That not feeling the correct way about my friends is making me somehow evil for tricking them into thinking I was actually their friend, and not some kind of monster who was just using their kindness against them - and it's hard not to feel that way. We live in a society that assumes and constantly reinforces the idea that not only is love the purest emotion, but also the only thing a relationship can be based on. Any relationship that doesn't have love at its core is worthless or meaningless, and if you deliberately enter a relationship as a loveless person you are a bad person and the relationship is inherently toxic. It doesn't matter what you actually do, or what feelings might motivate it - if it's not out of love, it's bad.

In this framework, being loveless means no matter how hard you try, you will just never be enough. It isn't enough to be kind or generous or caring, you MUST love the other, and if they find out you don't, there's a really good chance they will take it as a personal attack and break contact with you, even if before they called you their best friend.

It was this pressure that made me pick up the loveless label. For too long have I felt like I wasn't doing enough, like I was missing something, like I wasn't trying hard enough to feel love. I kept beating myself up over not feeling the correct emotions, but unsurprisingly, this did not make me more capable of love. It just made me hate myself for the way I existed. But the moment I accepted myself as loveless? All of that pressure was gone. I learnt that emotions don't inherently make an action morally better or worse, and that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you feel so long as you do the right thing. People don't actually see your emotions, only your actions.

Of course, I still struggle with making and keeping friends. Turns out it is rather difficult to maintain a relationship when you don't have an innate drive towards people; then put on that extra layer of autism and low empathy and you got a recipe for disaster. Still, that doesn't mean I don't try, because I do want to be around people, and I do want those people to be happy to be around me, even if it means I have to put in the extra effort to connect with them that to most ppl comes naturally.

I know this turned out to be pretty long but I wanted to elaborate on these thoughts to give them justice as best as I could. Loveless is still a label most people either don't know or are very confused about, and I just hope I could shed some light on the experience for those who are still unfamiliar with it.

I'm open to answering (good faith) questions, but please remember that I am still just one guy and can't speak on behalf of the whole community.

(Other loveless ppl, feel free to add on your own experiences as well, I'd love to hear about them!)

[dross-the-fish]

What's the worst thing Edward could do to someone he cares about? Or has done

That's a matter of perspective, he's not above being violent towards people he likes or even loves if he loses his temper, anyone engaging with Edward is aware that they are playing with with a stick of dynamite and anything but the most expert of handling and gauging of moods could result in an outburst. If you ask Alice, Edward has never done anything awful specifically TO her but he did talk her into killing her husband and then help her hide the body, write up a fraudulent will and even steal her husband's identity for awhile and help himself to a very large hunk of Richard Liddell's money. He's made her question if his motives were purely altruistic (they weren't) or if he saw a chance to kill two birds with one stone and killing Richard was an opportunistic move (it was). Just because he loves Alice doesn't mean he won't help himself in the process of helping her. If you ask Selma, it was bringing her back against her wishes. Selma's family is devoted to hunting monsters like vampires and revenants and they are deeply religious, to the point that they will kill their own who come back to them as creatures rather than humans. By bringing her back Edward basically sentenced her to a lifetime of walking the earth knowing that she can never show her face to her loved ones again and because of how souls and such are laid out in my AU she has no idea what kind of afterlife waits for her. She only knows when she woke up some part of her was left in the grave. She came to terms with it and even forgave Edward after a point (more for her own peace of mind than his) but she's aware he brought her back for his sake, not hers. I go back and forth on whether Edward ever tells her he killed someone to get her a new heart. Being someone Edward loves is a double edged sword because of the inherent selfishness of the character. He will almost always put his own wants and needs above the other person no matter how much he cares for them. Edward as a character comes with a lot of trigger warnings and while he can be loving, complex and even have moments of tenderness it cannot be understated that this is an inherently toxic and self-serving character. His capacity for kindness does not negate his taste for cruelty.

[not-poignant]

Can I ask, why do you love BL romance better than het romance? What makes them better? I did not mean anything negative, and I know everyone have their own like and dislike but I want to know your thoughts....

Also what do you think that made Asian MLM (BL manga/manhwa/manhua/ danmei) romances better than western MLM romances?

Can I ask, why do you love BL romance better than het romance?

Because I had no choice for many years.

Because that choice was taken away from me by a homophobic, transphobic, queerphobic, acephobic society. So all the romances I read had to be heterosexual, all the romances I watched had to be heterosexual, all the romances I heard of had to be heterosexual.

Because I'm not heterosexual.

Because I never saw myself represented in any stories ever, for over about 20 years (queer stuff existed, but where I was situated in Perth, Western Australia, meant that I was not seeing it).

Because I was force-fed allonormative, heteronormative, heterosexual tropes, bullshit, toxicity, misogyny, patriarchal culture, rape culture and more, and because everyone assumed that was normal, which made me feel isolated, marginalised, alone, and bereft, and cut me out of knowing what a life could look like for myself, and made relationships harder, when you don't have the words or stories to latch onto.

People like me couldn't even be erased out of the media, we hardly existed in the media, and if we did, almost never under our real identities, and almost always having to pretend to be something we weren't, for many people who hated us, or wished we were dead, or simply didn't care about us at all.

So, when I finally got a choice, I made a choice.

And I do not want to read heterosexual content anymore, unless it's queer (like T4T). The only place I actually willingly consume heterosexual romantic content these days is like 80s and 90s and early 00s romantic comedies. It's the only thing I allow through my filter, because so many of them have a really strong bent of hurt/comfort in them, and it's rare to find movies that have this in general.

But yeah otherwise het is just not a thing I look for in fiction. Literally a squick. Literally reminds me of 20 years of oppression in the mass media. It's not inherently bad, it just wasn't good for me personally, to never have a choice.

So I made one :D And my life has been so much better for it. I'm never going back.

Also what do you think that made Asian MLM (BL manga/manhwa/manhua/ danmei) romances better than western MLM romances?

It's just better for me, anon! I find a lot of western published m/m (so not like m/m fanfiction which I still read) often feels stifled and too short for me, and the characterisation doesn't get as deep as I want it to get. I often can feel the rigidity of the novel structure on authors who are trying to rapid release, and the depth I'm looking for is rarely there. Sometimes that's what people want! Sometimes they don't know there's other options!

Sometimes that's true of some BL manga/manhua/manhwa etc. as well. Tbh it's probably true of a lot of it! Serial format doesn't always allow for depth either. But I find the visual format easier to read as well. If I reread western m/m it's almost always fanfiction. And tbh, I'm sure some amazing m/m was published last year, I just get tired of having to wade through it all to find something I like. It got to the point where I was reading like 60+ titles just to find one average read, and I gave up.

The recommendation systems for BL tend to be better and more on point for me, I find most people who recommend published m/m to me generally always miss the mark (which isn't their fault - I'm particular, there's a reason I write what I write - because I can't find it to read!!), but close friends like @morbidlizard who recommend BL to me almost always hit the mark!

I don't actually read much danmei, but mostly because I haven't had time to really sink my teeth into it. Aside from MXTX, I haven't explored much further.

But yeah, hope that helps! :D