#i can only hear about what you think is wrong with you or the different ways my grandmother is trying to kill herself so fucking much

[starberry-cupcake]

So, I had some chapters ready to recap but I decided to wait because the last bunch didn't get around as they normally do notes-wise and I thought maybe you guys needed a breather from these, I know there's more important things to engage your time with right now, so I thought I'd stop for a bit because maybe I was just posting them too frequently, BUT if I don't keep them up, I can't keep reading, so I'm gonna move on and let it land where it lands ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at this point, I have to go on even if I'm talking to the void. So, it is what it is.

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag

CHAPTER 10 (shattered second house skull...yikes)

nona finally tells camilla about the surveillance situation at school

she wants to go back in the evening to help out sriracha girlie with it

camilla, because she's smart, cautious and all around perfect, tells her no

especially not after the whole shooting mess that happened that very afternoon

nona says she feels responsible for the kids and that perhaps the two other people she maybe is would also feel responsible for them

camilla says one definitely would, the other one maybe

I'm assuming the hard yes is gideon

last time gideon was sort of in charge of kids, things didn't go very well, though

rip the fourth

then they go eat and I don't quite get why nona is so picky with food

is it that the food is bad? or is her body rejecting it? or is she just a fussy child?

just putting this out there, if I ask things here, you don't need to tell me, I just ask to the void, it's fine

anyway, in comes pyrrha looking like crap but acting like it's all fine

she asks palmolive to help her get a permanent shave but palmolive says "I had the joy of working on a...body like yours, the once, and I don't want to repeat the process for anything smaller than a brain hemorrhage"

he was about to say 'lyctor', I imagine

not sure I know what this is referring to but please don't tell me

he asks pyrrha if it's "finally kicking off" and she says "not yet"

(wish this was just fiction and we weren't experiencing the imminent brewing of intense social and political tension every single day in so many places of the world)

nona goes to prepare a bath for her while palmolive and pyrrha fight about the people she saw being taken during the altercation she was caught in

she says she saw three adults taken in, no consensus on whether they were from the barracks or found in the wild

palmolive wants to go fuck shit up to save them but pyrrha says they (aka camilla) won't be able to fight against "two hundred motherfuckers with machine guns"

and points out that camolive aren't a lyctor

palmolive wants to upset pyrrha on account of her not wanting to do more to save people, especially since his house followed them there

and apparently camilla's older sister kiki was one of them

kiki is allegedly from the oversight body

which I have learned has nothing to do with the oversight of potentially having lost gideon's body

different oversight and different body

but pyrrha only cares about keeping all of them safe and can't be swayed into letting camolive fight

I get where pyrrha is coming from but, at the same time, I don't think it's realistic to believe she can do that

keep them safe, I mean

camolive are ready to spring into attack if someone looks at them wrong and nona is a child with a knife

but, in any case, you can't ask a lyctor for compassionate thought

not because they're lyctors but because some of them, including pyrrha, where there when this all started and were complicit in the fuckery

we'll go back to that in a bit

so, turns out nona can hear the blue light in the sky and she calls it "varun"

nona also tells camilla that she'd willingly go to the middle of the mess to help out the people they care about because she isn't afraid of dying

which smells like trouble to me, a kid with no self preservation

and camilla asks her why she isn't, to which nona responds that she likes the "letting go"

camilla responds that she doesn't let go, that is her thing

nona goes to have a bath before going to sleep and pyrrha has to remind her to stop flashing her boobs to the unsuspecting crowd

I have a parallel tally going on in my mind of who would be the most mortified about all this and harrow keeps winning every time

which would be extra funny if this is gideon's mind in harrow's body

JOHN 5:18 (ugh this guy again)

"For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God."

when I named him doctor reverend instead of just doctor I didn't know how accurate that would be in the long run

dr reverend emperor john buttface says he doesn't like change

we kind of guessed that by the fact that he does inhumane things to extend his and other people's lives

he continues on his story of how he started necromancy by playing with two corpses he named ulysses and tatiana and how now he can make them do things with their whole bodies

none of this sounds great

gotta say, it's a good way of re-contextualizing the whole thing, though

because book 1 you are thrown right in the middle of the ninth and harrow is doing nasty stuff with bones and you have to just accept it and keep going

and then in canaan house other necros do other stuff that also seems wild but it's normalized, so you go on and you're like "ok, this is how things are here"

but seeing this at a time closer to us than to canaan house really brings it back to a "this is insane" territory

which I think is very effective narratively, especially to do it now

you're not here for literary criticism from me, though, so let's continue

he goes through who of his lyctors was religious to begin with, who took it as some sort of spiritual experience, and who didn't

mercygirl wasn't and was weirded out but moved on from it really fast

if you ask me, everyone moved on from it really fast, but I'm not a lyctor so I have no say in the matter

according to dr reverend emperor john assface, this was because they wanted to believe

because "everyone wants to believe that God's randomly made them on of the X-Men"

and, not to stop in a minuscule quote for too long and give more unsolicited literary analysis instead of memes but, this sentence shows a lot about this man

idk if this was picked specifically or if I'm reading too much into it BUT

out of every other superhero or superhero group or comic book character with powers he could have chosen, it's so interesting that he chose the x-men

because the x-men are notably different from many of them, especially from their time, because they were oppressed due to their powers

it wasn't just that their powers or their saving the world gig made things complicated for their lives, literally a big part of their narrative is that their powers make them a target of oppression to the point of persecution and violence

some of them famously don't want to have powers

and mutants who do have a good relationship with their powers rarely have a good relationship with society

but he overlooks that and only focuses on having superhuman abilities

and I think that says a lot about this man in just one nerdy sentence

because he's either a) overlooking the entire social context in which the x-men operated to only laser focus on their powers without caring about the rest

or b) he believes himself a victim and a target of society as a justification of being "chosen" to do what he did

since we're at it, because I think it fits the current book narrative and worldwide narrative

this is from 1993

ANYWAY

dr reverend emperor john says he knew, by this body moving thing he was doing now, that he could use this power "for good. Could be used to fix everything, used for you"

we still have this thing where he talks to harrow but as if harrow was around back then, so I think he's talking to ice cube barbie?? but I'm not yet sure what's happening

he also says the corpses were his batteries, which doesn't sound to me like doing good in general, just doing good for him, but anyway

they didn't want the people funding them (who had pulled the plug on them literally and metaphorically) to find out because they could be "used for evil"

so they decided to communicate with the people to spread the word themselves without anyone doing it for them

they decided to stream

cue to agustine and mercygirl as mods in the youtube chat prompting the command !sponsor to promote hello fresh ads while dr john shows the corpses

DAY THREE (CORONABEER MENTION)

CHAPTER 11 (fifth house skull, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT)

nona keeps talking about the pool situation, which she says is from her dreams

which doesn't line up with alleged harrow talking to dr reverend emperor john each time in between, but we'll continue

she says she's holding the "girl with the painted face" underwater and she is lying there but not drowning

but there are still hands around her, holding her

nona believes she must be mixing moments

I wonder if underwater girl with painted face allegedly harrow is where ice cube barbie used to be?

because a) it'd explain why she's not drowning but still underwater

and b) we ended up at the tomb last time in the end of harrow's book

and harrow went inside the empty tomb

WAIT A MINUTE

when harrow got into the tomb, it was empty

chains were broken and there was a sword and

fifth house erotica courtesy of gideon

IS THAT WHY THERE'S A FIFTH HOUSE SKULL IN HERE?

BECAUSE OF THE MAGAZINE?

pelase don't answer that, don't tell me anything at all, just let me fail

nona reproduces the way in which she's being held in the dream with camilla and says that in there it doesn't feel "sexy"

to which camilla asks wtf do you know about what sexy is

not in those exact words

apparently, she learned it from honesty

and says she thinks a painting of two flowers is sexy and asks camilla what she thinks is sexy

camilla says "eating breakfast"

camilla is sponsoring my apparel, this is the second ace tshirt with a quote from her I make from this book

nona tells her to ask palmolive what he thinks is sexy

my guess would be dying girls he never met personally

camilla says "strong work ethics and high test scores"

I'm getting a wardrobe out of this conversation

pyrrha is making breakfast and upon nona entering the room

or house section divided in a small space they call a room

she asks what they had been talking about because it "sounded fruity"

nona is onto pyrrha's bs though and can tell she hasn't slept, so pyrrha confesses that she went to the park

the park where she asked palmolive not to let camilla go

she says she didn't save anyone in a way that camolive would understand, so she doesn't want nona to tell them she went

nona isn't good with lies and I totally get that

pyrrha also tells nona to be careful about sriracha girlie because she was at the burn cages and keeping some sus company there

nona gets all mad about pyrrha saying that and calling her name "stupid"

I got mad at nona for getting mad in behalf of people she doesn't know anything about instead of trusting the advice of people she lives with

pyrrha doesn't insist much and nona says she isn't going to stop being friends with sriracha girlie because she has 0 self preservation and a death wish

as established in this same recap

pyrrha is then asked what she thinks is sexy and she pretty much describes commander wake

"love a redhead" she says

wonder if she knows what gideon looks like or if she's just still referencing commander wake

because she met her in harrow's body and I don't know if the oversight with gideon's body being misplaced happened after or before pyrrha saw her

DON'T TELL ME

nona says she doesn't think redheads are sexy, which palmolive thinks is important to note down

I also think it's important to note it down because it's more points for the "this is gideon" side of the scale

when asked what he thinks is sexy, palmolive gives the most boring answer yet

"those little outfits nurses wear"

does he have a thing for yami kawaii stuff? nurses outfits, sickly seventh girls? is this a thing for him?

or is this like the regular sexy nurse fantasy type stuff? the spirit halloween type stuff?

or is this silent hill nurse type stuff? the ones that can kill you?

I don't know, I'm gonna leave it at that, whatever works for you, my dude

we don't have time to ask palmolive specific on his fantasies, though

because the door opens suddenly and there's a GUN and a THREAT

love starting the morning with chill stuff

AND WE'RE DONE!! I'll see how I work through the chapters, they end up getting long if I wait too much but I don't want to oversaturate, which I was probably doing. Anyway, sending hugs and love your way ♥

[your-unfriendlyghost]

No Class

 Aka making Stevepop fight

this fic comes from the h/c I have that Steve’s not really close to anyone at school except Soda and Evie, so when Soda drops out, Steve gets frustrated. I’ll cross post this to Ao3 later I think.

All the Stevepop here is platonic technically but they’ve definitely got…something goin on idk- any way you slice it they’re each other’s person ok? (This is also pre-meeting Evie, that’s why she’s not mentioned lol.)

(edit- wait no i did mention her apparently?? Idk I guess it isn’t pre-Evie??)

There’s also a little inspo here from this post by @dallasgallant - they posted it ages ago but yk I think abt it still lol. I dunno that I really did the concept justice here, as I don’t go….deep into it or anything, but it’s definitely present

-

“You can’t drop outta high school, man,” Steve says weakly. “You…you can’t.”

  Soda sighs, tilting his DX cap down over his face. “Stevie…” he murmurs, voice soft and pleading. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

  Steve shakes his head. He can’t wrap his mind around this. Soda can’t- he can’t just leave!

  “God, I dunno, take some of my shifts? Or make Ponyboy get a job?!” Steve says, running a hand down his face. “He’s thirteen, don’t shelter him like that-”

  “Jesus,” Soda mutters, as if there’s something obviously wrong with that that Steve isn't getting.

  “What?!” Steve snaps.

  Soda gives him a dull-eyed stare. “C’mon, he ain’t sheltered.”

  Steve scoffs. “Yeah, right- I’ve seen him cryin’ like a girl, and y’all just let him be a wimp. He's sheltered as hell. But Soda that ain’t the point-”

  Soda’s jaw clenches. “Aw, watch it, man.”

  “No! No, you can’t just leave, I won’t- you can’t- Oh, c’mon, we just have a year left- I mean, believe it or not, Ponyboy can pick up some slack ‘round here too-”

  Now Soda’s eyes flash, and he audibly snorts. “Shut it, you ain’t really one to accuse anyone of bein’ sheltered, Randle.”

  Steve freezes. “The hell does that mean?!”

  Soda shakes his head. “Nup- I shouldn’ta said that. Never mind,” he sighs. 

  “No! No, you tell me what ya mean!” Steve says, painfully aware of how shrill he sounds.

  “Naw. I shouldn’ta opened my damn mouth’. Just…just forget it, Stevie,” Soda insists.

  “Tell me what you mean, man, you said it, you gotta explain it!” Steve argues.

  “No! I don’t wanna talk about this right now, man!”

  “Spell it out for me, why don’t ya?!” Steve says, getting up in Soda’s face now. “‘Cos as far as I know, gettin’ kicked outta my own house all the time sure ain’t sheltered!”

  Soda shoves him back a bit, gently. “Jesus, I never said you was sheltered, I just said that Pony ain’t!”

  “No, no, I heard ya, don’t you go lyin’ to me now, Curtis,” Steve hisses.

  “Fine, ya really wanna know?!” Soda growls. “All I’m sayin’ is that you’re the only grease I know who’s got a three-story house, whose papa still makes good money, and who always has a wallet fulla cash! Yeah your ol’ man ain’t so great, but ya always have new clothes an’ shit-”

  “AIN’T SO GREAT?!” Steve yells, voice booming. “I SLEEP AT YOU AND DAL’S PLACES HALF THE TIME!”

  Soda flinches. “I know! That’s why I took it back! All I’m sayin’ is that you got opportunities that me or Pony’d kill for, and I dunno if ya even know it- but I know you ain’t sheltered, shit, man, I know it, okay?”

  Steve can barely hear him over the angry hot buzzing in his head. Opportunities?! Yeah right, what opportunities?! And the third floor ain't even a third floor, it’s just a damn attic room that Steve moved into for space! Ponyboy’s never been struck by his papa- and sure, Steve hasn’t either, least not after the age of five, but he’s been shoved hard which ain’t so different! Mr. Curtis never looked at Pony with a look burning in his eyes like he hated him. Mr. Curtis never looked at Pony with horror, realizing he’d hurt his son- Mr. Curtis never said GET OUT, because he couldn’t resist hurting him and needed him gone- 

  “Soda-” Steve says, voice high and loud, louder than he means it to be, “fuck-” 

  Soda looks at him, eyes wide, and Steve realizes he’s grabbed the front of Soda’s shirt.

  He huffs and lets go, stepping back and shoving his hands into his pockets.

  “I’m goin’ to Dally’s,” he grunts, slinging on his leather jacket. “Don’t wait up.”

  Soda, now tired again, says “Didn’t plan on it.”

  “...Good,” says Steve as he shoves the door open, because he can’t think of anything tougher to say. 

  “Steve?” Soda says, flatly.

  For a second, Steve thinks he’s gonna apologize, because Soda always caves first. He glances over his shoulder at him. “What?”

  “Don’t talk about my brother like that,” Soda says, voice low.

  “Yeah? Well maybe you shouldn’t be so sensitive,” Steve bites back. He slams the door.

  Boy, he wishes Soda had just apologized.

-

  On the drive to Dally’s, Steve feels sick. His stomach twists as he replays the conversation in his head.

  Who is he to call Soda sensitive? Steve’s as sensitive as they come. Well, not sensitive, he’s no Ponyboy. Reactive, maybe. 

  But then again- what was Soda on about?! Dropping outta school?! Just to coddle the damn kid?! Steve swallows feverishly at the thought of school without Soda. 

  What about him?! Doesn’t Soda care? It ain’t hard to work at thirteen, Steve started at sixteen but he knows plenty of guys who started younger- Why should Soda bear the burden of leaving school? Why does Ponyboy get to stay?! Sure he’s leavin’ junior high a year early, but he can do school and work at the same time, can’t he?!

  Why’s Soda always gotta sacrifice himself for a spoiled little kid?

  Steve turns a corner too fast and gets honked at. Dammit. He rolls his eyes.

  Doesn’t Soda care about the fact that Steve’s gotta stay in school, and he can’t do that without Soda?!

  And yeah, the Curtises are low on funds, and yeah, Steve isn’t, but he ain’t a Soc either! He doesn’t- he doesn’t buy new clothes all the time- well, sure he has three leather jackets, but he got those for cheap at the charity store! 

  Plus, it was with money I earned from sleepin’ in the lot- Pony’s never had to sleep in the lot, Steve thinks madly. Neither has Soda- he just don’t get it…

  Steve’s not even sure who he’s fixin to complain to about it now. After all, if Soda don’t get it, no one else will.

  But Dal works. Two-Bit too, probably.

-

  Sometimes at night Soda paces. Back and forth, back and forth, in awkward dizzying figure eights. He flicks on the stove and walks to the icebox, turns around and walks back to the threshold where the kitchen meets the living room, and walks to the icebox again. It’s been a day since his argument with Steve.

  Two-Bit’s watching some show on the TV, maybe the Twilight Zone, although Soda’s not rightly sure. Two glances at Soda’s pacing, but doesn’t question it- maybe he would have, normally, but he’s half asleep as is, and besides, he’s probably seen this display plenty before anyhow.

  “Did you just turn the stove in with nothing on it?” Two-Bit asks instead, blinking.

  “Huh? Oh,” Soda says. He puts the kettle on the fire. “Oops.”

  “You gon’ remember to turn it off, ya airhead?” Two-Bit grins.

  Soda grins back, a little sheepishly. If the comment had been from anyone else, it woulda stung. But Two-Bit gets it. He knows the score. After all, he’s a month away from eighteen, yet he’s in the same grade as Soda.

  “You gon’ remind me?” Soda replies, cocking his eyebrow.

  Two snorts. “Naw- leave that to me, an’ you’ll end up with your whole damn house burned down.”

  “Aw, well, that’s just as likely if it’s left to me- I mean, I’m the dumb one, ain’t I?” Soda laughs, but he must’ve done a pretty lousy job at hiding the hollowness in it, ‘cos Two-Bit’s eyes soften.

  “No you ain’t,” Two-Bit sighs, tilting his head back.

  “Sure I am,” Soda spits. “Y’know, sometimes I gotta ask Ponyboy for help on my goddamn homework- you know that, right?” he says, whirling around and walking back to the sink, and then the icebox.

  Two-Bit’s shoulders slump. “Stevie was sayin’ to me and Dally the other night that you was fixin’ to dropout.”

  Soda stiffens. “He did?!”

  “Sorta thought he was just bein’ dramatic at the time, you know how he is…but I reckon he wasn’t after all, huh?” Two says pointedly. Two knows he’s right- when it comes to real knowledge, Two-Bit’s only wrong when it’s funny. He just wants to hear Soda admit it.

  Soda clamps his jaw shut. “That ain’t fair. Ain’t none of his goddamn business. Ain’t yours, neither.”

  “Okay, sure, I reckon that’s a fair assessment,” Two-Bit says easily. “You ain’t gotta tell me nothin’. …You will though, won’tcha.” He says it like a statement, and cocks his eyebrow.

  Soda scowls and opens the cupboard, getting out a box of cereal. “I ain’t got nothin’ to say,” he says, shoving a handful of cocoa pebbles into his mouth to prove he really doesn’t.

  “Right, you don’t,” Two-Bit says sarcastically.

  “I just don’t get what Sth-teve is so hung up ‘bout!” Soda lisps through the mouthful of cereal.

  Two-Bit smirks, like ah there it is.

  “Sthut up,” Soda groans.

  “Hey hey, my lips are locked, bub,” Two-Bit says innocently.

  “I mean Chrisht-” Soda pauses and swallows the last of the cereal- “he knows I ain't bright, what’s goin’ to school even doin’ for me?! It’s just a waste of time that I oughta spend makin’ money, makin’ myself useful! It ain’t like it’s some damn tragedy, I ain’t Darry!”

  “Hey, no one is,” Two-Bit says, patting Soda’s shoulder.

  “You know what I mean- I mean, I ain’t…I ain’t got no…what’s the word? For when ya could be somethin’...polenta?”

  “Potential, I reckon,” Two-Bit says. “I only know that ‘cause of how often Ma says I’m wastin’ it,” he adds hastily.

  “Yeah, well, I ain’t got none to waste,” Soda sighs. “I ain’t a sport, I ain’t a brain, and the only classes I’m passin’ are gym and shop. What the hell is the point? Steve oughta know that!”

  “Steve oughta know a lotta things he don’t know,” Two-Bit says, wiggling his eyebrows. “Y’know?”

  Soda blinks. “...Maybe I’m slow, but…ya lost me.”

  Two shrugs. “Well, Stevie-boy ain’t got the same problems as you and me, that’s all.”

  “Right, ‘cos he has more money.”

  “Well, kinda, but I mean he ain’t got no one he’s…lookin’ out for the way we do. He’s just got himself and his folks.”   “Just his dad, really. His mama ain’t been home from the hospital since we were like…fourteen,” Soda corrects on instinct.

  “See?”

  “So? He still can use his heart a bit, can’t he?” Soda protests. 

  “Sure. But when have we ever known him to?”

  Soda wants to protest, ‘cos that isn’t true, not exactly. When Mom and Dad died, it was Steve who held him, who didn’t need him to keep it together. It was Steve who signed up with him for double shifts on the weekends, because Soda needed the money but hated working alone. Steve watches out for Evie, too- when she needs a place to stay, to get away from her stepfather and her mom, she hides out at his place. 

  But Steve’s always disliked Ponyboy. Maybe Two’s right. Maybe Steve just can’t get it.

  But it isn’t like Steve hates the kid, either, right? He just cares more for Soda’s company than he cares about Pony’s grades.

  Soda chews his lip. It isn’t like he’s not sad to be missing out on time with Steve, either. Sitting in class, tossing notes at Steve, sneaking off campus with Steve, wrestling Steve in PE… They’re like the highlight of his school experience. 

  But he’s sixteen now. And unless he plans on getting back into riding rodeos any time soon, his future’s just gas stations, and maybe the army if he gets bored of gas stations. There’s just no point in putting it off if it’s coming either way.

  So yeah, he’ll miss Steve, but Steve’ll just have to deal…right?

  “He just keeps sayin’ it isn’t fair, ‘cos I reckon he’ll miss me,” Soda mutters.

  “Well it ain’t like you’re abandonin’ him,” Two-Bit shrugs. “He’s bein’ dramatic.”

  “He is dramatic,” Soda sighs. Steve’s always been dramatic. 

  But Soda…kinda gets it.

  Steve’s a pretty lonely guy. He’s got Soda, sometimes Two-Bit, sometimes Dally. And he’s got his old man, and his ma, but only when she’s conscious enough to talk.

  Soda puts the cereal box away. “Hey Two, tell Darry I’m at Steve’s place, yeah?”

  Two-Bit smiles faintly. “What’re ya gonna say?”

  “I’ll figure that out when I get there.”

-

  “Hey Steve, come on a walk with me?” Soda says. He’s breathless and red-faced, like he ran here, and is cupping his hands ‘round his mouth to yell up from the backyard.

  He’s gotta do that, ‘cos my room’s on the third floor, Steve notes miserably. He really is the only greaser he knows who lives in a house with three stories. 

  He wants to fly out the window and throw his arms around Soda. Sure, Soda’s wrong, but still…

  He resists that urge though, and instead, he leans out the window and says “I’ll meet ya downstairs.”

  “Tuff.”

  Outside, Soda gives him a little smile. “The uh…weather’s nice, huh?”

  “It’s May,” Steve says. He cringes. He didn’t mean to sound smart-mouthed.

  “Yeah,” Soda says, scrunching his nose. “I guess.”

  “I ain’t…I ain’t a Soc, Soda,” Steve mutters. Sure his old man has a good job and a college degree. They still live on the East Side. Steve’s still never gonna get outta Tulsa.

  Soda nods. “I know that, Stevie. I shouldn’t have said that to ya. I’m not sorry for it though.”

  Steve scowls. “Then what’re ya here for?”

  “To take a walk with my best buddy,” Soda answers, tossing an arm around Steve’s shoulders. “C’mon.”

  He leads them down the street, out towards the empty lot. 

  “I don’t like school, Steve,” Soda says, running his hand along a chain link fence. “You know that.”

  “No one does,” Steve mumbles. “That’s why they gotta force ya.”

  “Pony does,” Soda says, nudging Steve’s shoulder. “Pony digs school pretty okay.”

  “…I guess.”

  “And y’know, he’s pretty damn good at it, too. Gets all As n’ all.”

  “Except in math,” Steve corrects. Ponyboy definitely got a B- in math last semester.

  “Except in math,” Soda says, smiling. “But the point is, he’s got somethin’ special. He’s got a brain. And he’s gonna get outta this town someday.”

  “Yeah, he’s a real Einstein, huh,” Steve grunts, a stab of irritation in his gut. All hail Ponyboy, child genius, better than downtown hoods like Steve and Soda. “We get it.”

  “C’mon, I gotta be able to support that, y’know?” Soda says, ruffling Steve’s hair. 

  Steve swallows. Fine. Sure. He gets it. He does.

  “But that don’t mean I don’t wanna be ‘round you, you dig?” Soda says.

  Steve’s breath hitches. “Oh- Soda, ‘course I know that,” he says, although he’s not rightly sure he did a second ago.

  “Okay. Fine,” Soda says, amusedly. “But you get it, right? I mean, you’re the only thing I’m gonna miss about that damn school building, savvy?”

  Steve smiles. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. Just ‘cos we ain’t gonna have class together don’t mean we’re gonna not…stick together, okay?”

  “It’ll be different,” Steve says, maybe just to be stubborn.

  “Yeah, but not really. You’ll have Two and Dal and Johnny.”

  “Not really. They got other buddies. And it ain’t the same.”

  “Of course it ain’t. Ain’t no one in the world who I like the way I like ya, Stevie. You’re special, and I reckon I’m special to you in the same way, huh?”

  Steve nods, looking at the cracks in the cement under his shoes. 

  “You’re my best friend, Sodapop,” he murmurs. He’s also Steve’s only real friend.

  “You remember how when Dal showed up, how you got all angry?” Soda says, squeezing Steve’s shoulder.

  Steve shrugs, even though he remembers it perfectly. 

  “Yeah, you acted like I was replacin’ ya or something,” Soda grins.

  “You both liked horses. I felt all left out and whatever. Sue me, I was eleven,” Steve says, flushing a bit. 

  “Well I stuck by ya anyhow, even though you’re scared of horses and we all know it.”

  “I’m cautious ‘round horses, not scared,” Steve protests, smiling a little.

  “Sure ya are,” Soda humors him. “The point I’m gettin’ at though is that it was different after Dal met us. Things were different. But I was still me, and you were still you, y’know?”

  Steve nods. “Yeah. I guess,” he says, leaning his head into Soda’s shoulder.

  “So you ain’t mad that I’m droppin’ out then, yeah?” Soda says softly.

  Steve sighs. He is. It’s illogical and unfair, but he’s a little mad still. He lets that throb and die though, in the back of his mind. 

  “I just…I’m gonna miss ya,” Steve says.

  “I’m gonna miss ya too. But we’ve always got work, and the weekends, and hell Stevie, it’s nearly summer, so you ain’t gonna have to worry ‘til September. And then after that, you’ll graduate and we can be free to hang whenever we want for the rest of time.”

  “I wanna hang with ya for the rest of time,” Steve says, so quietly he almost can’t hear himself.

  “Good,” Soda grins. “Me too.”

[cripplecharacters]

I write fanfic, and have some concerns about MC's baby. Baby (Hope) was made in lab and has genetic differences. Currently, I consider something like Down Syndrome?

~

Background:

In canon: character mourning his best friend (an alien), and try to clone him. (Alien later later in story come back to life)

My thoughts: When you clone someone, but use DNA from 2 people, it's actually a baby...

Since they are different species, I consider having their child being either triploid (3x chromosomes) or tetraploid (4x).

Which can be genetic issues. And disabilities. I sort of base on Down Syndrome, but also different.

~

Things I thought issues:

1. Should I just have the kid have Down Syndrome? At least it's familiar, and unrepresented. But also DS is only 3rd 21 chromosome, not all chromosoms are 3.

2. Issue about the kid being a baby. Since initialisation is a big problem for ppl w disabilities, DS especially.

3. Dad 1 (the scientist) has a "what have I done" moment. It's before the beby is born, and before her differences are showing, but can be problematic. I try make it clear this is problem bc Dad goes 1) my dead friend didn't agree, 2) i shouldn't make a kid, 3) I'M HAVING A BABY!?!?

4. Also, I don't know if there's problem with "made in lab and different"? (Like it's "punishment", or something about mutations? Idk I'm not from USA nor Christian, but I know people who are has weird issues).

To be clear, both dads love their kid. They call her their light and "our little miracle". Though can also be issue?

Thank you!! I hope it make sense?

Hi!

First, I want to clarify some points from a biology perspective:

Humans are really bad at handling the wrong amount of DNA, and really bad at cross breeding with non-hominids.

A cross-breed between two species with different numbers of chromosomes may or may not be viable (best chance is when the species are closely related), but the hybrid is nearly always sterile.

A haploid (1x) from each parent can make a new human. Most organisms also work this way. But some organisms produce sex cells with multiple copies of the genome--for example melons can be made to have 2x seeds.

Aneuploidy (3x or 4x) is lethal to most species. Some (plant) species are more resistant, but still sterile--a normal 2x melon and a 4x melon produce a seedless 3x melon, for example.

Monosomies and trisomies are not always fatal, as evidenced by Down Syndrome among other chromosome disorders.

If you want to follow biological constraints, I think having Hope be a hybrid is not the best choice.

But you can do whatever you want, and model off of any chromosomal disorder you want, since you're dealing with fantasy biology.

I think the most important/constant aspect of chromosomal disorders is intellectual disability. Hearing and vision loss are also very common.

Infantilization is not so much a worry with an infant character. It's okay to have children in a story. It becomes infantilization if the character is routinely treated as far younger than their age.

I don't think being made in a lab is a problem. Genetic disorders happen, whether chromosomes are combined in a lab or in a body.

And I also think it's normal for your character to have all sorts of emotions about having made a new person. Just like when someone is pregnant. You're clearly showing it as his complex emotions regarding his actions, not disdain for baby Hope.

Mod Rock

[silcobrainrot]

It also just has too many songs. Season one had 11 songs (12 if you count Get Jinxed). only two episodes had more than one song (eps 7 and 9). Season two has I think 21 songs? And where season one used songs as supportive and complementary to the visuals, settings, and story, reserving them for places where dialogue isn't necessary, season two has to bend and contort itself around needing to get at least two songs into every 40 minute episode. It critically injured the pacing, character, and plot progression.

the only real "montage sequence" in season one imo is the intro to episode seven, but the way it was used is much different. "Misfit Toys" is an introduction to the firelights, knowing they have a limited amount of time to get across who these people are and how they got here. it's characterization, NOT plot. The music is helping communicate their identity and culture because we spend very little time with anyone other than Ekko. But the lyrics and mood of that song, especially the full version, tell you everything you need to know about how they came together, how they feel about the PvZ conflict, and how they see themselves within that conflict.

We miss out on so much character interaction and potential plot lines because the songs eat too much runtime. Season two is 21 music videos stitched together with a few vague and tropey connecting threads. and i like the music, don't get me wrong, most of it is great, but it doesn't feel like it's part of the story. it feels like an undergrad student's first editing midterm where they chose something kinda catchy and fit the vibe even if the lyrics were completely inappropriate for the visuals they chose.

"Welcome To the Playground" invites us into the underground and presents us with the stark contrast between topside and undercity. it's evocative and seductive with just a hint of an edge. When they transition from the overworld into the Last Drop, the song transitions to playing on the Drop's jukebox. we can still hear it under the entire scene with Vander, Huck, and the shady traders. The jukebox is used three times to keep the music feeling like part of the characters' world and reflective of their internal emotions instead of just a Top 40 track slapped on top for lazy audience identification. season two feels like they just slapped the tracks on top, but it's worse, because it was actually WRITTEN like that.

Likewise, the original score also suffered, because there wasn't as much room for traditional music composition. which is, again, supposed to complement the visuals, and can play under dialogue because they have no singing, so they don't get in the way of character and plot progression. scores exist to heighten the emotion and communicate musically what can't be communicated verbally. characters' true emotions under what they're saying and acting out physically. season one had such a jaw-dropping original composition that, again, meshed organically with the original songs they wrote because they were designed around the script. some places needed traditional composition, others benefited from modern music. You wouldn't introduce the firelights with a full brass and woodwind orchestra, nor would you have the councilors performing shady illegal business deals at a rock concert.

so much thought and care and love was put into how music was used in season one. it's some of the most seamless combinations of modern music with traditional composition i've seen so far because both the score and the soundtrack were written specifically for the show. season two's music doesn't sound written for the show, it sounds like those "ost" soundtracks movies release that are vaguely inspired by the vibes and the already-famous artists got a massive payout for writing a song for it.

So I was thinking about the whole music videos situation in Arcane and guess what, I once again have something to say. No surprises there.

Arcane soundtrack is absolutely amazing, that's true for both seasons, but compared to season 2, season 1 contains significantly fewer montages. In season 2, music isn't just a background for current events. Instead, we get montages, which are basically used as a skip forward button for the show's time skips of unspecified length. A mandatory "Hey, that's what's going on in the world, but we don't have time for that. Now, back to our favorite character!"

Visually, they're gorgeous, but that's not what Arcane was originally praised for. They're more eye-catching music videos than actual storytelling. Good for Riot's promotional material, but when you put them in the middle of an episode? It makes the originally full world of arcane feel like an empty board on which characters play without any real impact on the world around them. Sure, it can be done well, like they did with Firelight's introduction in season 1, but not when it's used to tell very important parts of the story that SHOULD have an impact.

It's abundantly clear in episode 3.

Yep, that infamous part. We montage through Caitlyn using the Grey in Zaun and move past it. That's it. No real influence on the story, characters, or the world.

Imagine if they used the same approach on Jayce and Vi storming the Shimmer factory. If, instead of a mission going wrong, they showed us a montage of them taking over one factory after the other.

I know someone will come screaming "Oh, but they Grey wasn't used on civilians!" Well guess what, Jayce and Vi didn't want to hurt civilians either, that wasn't their intention, just an accident. Are you telling me that during Caitlyn's Strike Team Adventures™, no kid suddenly got in the way? No one was running away in panic and got punched in the face? They were dismantling Shimmer factories too. What happened to all the kids there? None of them panicked at the sight of five fully armed Enforcers?

That is exactly the issue with how they handled that topic and why people are so quick to defend this and Caitlyn's actions and honestly, i get the thought process. It's the writing's fault. Everyone is always screaming about media literacy, show don't tell, you don't have to be shown every single detail, the show shouldn't dwell on it, etc. But the moment they don't literally show us this on screen, people forget about the consequences of the last failed strike attempt at Zaun's criminal underground. They're are quick to say that everything worked out fine, no need to nitpick. But is it nitpicking, if the show made that clear before?

You can't just storm in and take over. Innocent people will get hurt. That's the conclusion Jayce walks away from this. That's the reality of the situation. But it's conveniently forgotten about when the writers don't want to deal with said consequences.

[resident-idiot-simp]

What if MacTavish time traveled back after he died at the end of MW3

Ft: @azilver

(x)

Az:

mactavish fades away with prices voice in his ear and thinks its about time only to come to at his desk with a concerned riley looming over him calling "captain? captain???"

mactavish rights himself and dismisses the lieutenant but its on auto, looking around at the office he hasn't seen in, what? a year? more? he vaguely recalls the paperwork about chemo requesting leave but .... pushing up from the desk he heads outside, stride purposeful even if he can't think of a destination. he remembers the pain, rubbing at where the wound had burst open as he landed, the dull throb of a phantom knife separating his flesh. familiar voices call out greeting and acknowledgements, he feels like choking seeing his men jog past. dead. they were all dead.

Me:

MacTavish just roams aimlessly. He remembers this is before everything went wrong before the start of the end.

Before Makarov started causing issues at least noticeably. World war 3 hadn't started yet and General Shepherd....General Shepherd.

Could he even stop it from starting? No, he couldn't he knows he can't. But he could stop the war sooner. He knows where Makarov will be knows what has to get done.

He's a step ahead but... Shepherd how the hell does he deal with Shepherd? He can't kill him not right now he become haunted immediately.

He would have to play along... maybe send out separate secret operations. Shit where was his journal. He patted himself down And grabbed the small book.

It was covered in blood....his blood...

Az:

alt

he doesn't believe in any supernatural shit, he can't, getting your hopes up in their line of work is never a good idea. but he can try.

he needs to find his place in time and so he heads for his room, digs until he finds his latest notebook and reads. he's back farther than he thought. price isn't back yet, that a month or 2 out still. sheppards still sniffing around, playing them like fiddles.

not for long. he has until the rescue mission to untangle this shit as much as he can. he can't think about price right now, not with the realisations he'd come to after the bastard had let sheppard take his boys from him. had ushered in the war they'd bled and sacrificed for so long to keep at bay.

he needs a fucking smoke.

heading outside he fishes in his pockets for his pack. oh, he's on his last cigar and ain't that a big pointed ironic finger from the universe?

"yeah, yeah, i get ye." he mutters and crushes it under foot.

"sir?" riley sidles up, a predators grace shifting in that odd edginess he always had when alone with mactavish outside of missions. well, he supposes it would be odd to se him talking to himself and destroying a good cigar.

"was damp." he spits, watching from the side as riley leans against the wall next to him. "spot me a fag, lieutenant."

he hears the smirk in the man's voice even as he passes him the cigarette, slipping out another for himself, "only if'n ye spot me a light, sir"

Me:

You KNOW his personality must take a 180. Like it's whole new person or alternatively just different enough to be off-putting.

He has changed a lot over the course of the war and all the losses seem to pile on.

He will stare at his team sometimes like his seeing ghosts. He will turn around and treat them tougher then every before so this time maybe, hopefully they won't be unprepared

You know it's like pulling teeth for MacTavish to go along with Shepherd. Everyone else is super confused because what the hell changed in such a short period of time

Az:

he takes to digging, burning the late night oil in a way that has even the likes of the worst insomniacs of base weary. he needs proof, something tangible to show his men. he knows they trust him, more than the past-future shows/ed they should and he can't just make them go on faith.

as a captain he can't ignore his duties, thankfully he has a damned good memory and what he forgot he has in his notebook. the few ops they're sent on go off without a hitch - if maybe the men start whispering about the captains near psychic ability to just know he ignores it. instead what little time he can spare is spent with his boys.

where before he would watch from the sidelines for the most part he now steps in. he spars and backchats and touches. its confusing and unnerving somehow ...but also appreciated. maybe it just bonding or just maybe how he'd pulled away in the last few years as sheppard wound his way closer into the 141.

soap was always one of them but along the way the captain had taken over more and more. and for all he's pushing them harder and harder they notice the captain is more prone to risks. they see him staring off too often to dismiss it. they know somethings changed and like good soldiers they read their captain and start preparing.

Me:

Riley gets particular snoopy one day and manages to snag the journal. MacTavish kept that thing safe like it was his own child so seeing it covered in blood was alarming.

He worried over what had happened. Opening it there wasn't anything note worthy but the more pages he flipped the weirder it got.

There were things that hadn't happened yet events, betrayals, death, The more Riley read the more he needed answers.

Then his and Roach's death...

He just stared uncomprehending way because what? Shepherd? Sure he'd never really trusted the man but...to kill them?

Then the hunt... Then the blood... Then The last edition that wasn't the neat and purposeful writing of MacTavish...

Az:

it makes sense for all that it doesn't.

out of them all riley was the one who always watched mactavish, was always looking at the man. so he'd seen those little moments, the quickly shuttered pained swallows watching his men, the pure hate that sliced through his eyes the moment sheppard turned around. the little things like stepping between roach and a fire, putting off a mission an hour just to get that much more gear stowed.

and the thing that pushed riley past the edge of his respect for the man, just enough that he allowed himself to snoop: mactavish flirted back.

Me:

He's not a man that would normally go into people's business that's not his own. But he was genuinely worried about Tav and the man was going along with the flirting and stuff. He knew they were close probably closer than anyone else on the team.

That was his job after all he was the Captain's right hand. But what if instead of snooping (this just hit me) he had seen the journal somewhere it shouldn't be and wanted to bring it back to him

Az:

riley's not stupid. he knew mactavish let them, let him, get away with much more than any other CO would. he'd never given a shit about who was fucking who, hell, worm had admitted to the captain walking in on he and meat and just told them to get their reports on his desk before lights out. the captain seemed to be of the opinion that nothing mattered except their abilities in the field, pushing himself same as them.

and riley had pushed back on occasion. being the man's 2nd gave him leeway sure but even then the first time he'd found a proposition slipping out in response to the man sighing in exhaustion he'd fully believed he was about to be murdered. what he hadn't expected was a snort and "fuck off, riley"

it had become a thing he did, so much so that the rest of the unit openly placed bets on if the cap would ever give the man what he wanted. and good god was mactavish what riley wanted. he'd fucked around enough to know who was game and how to get what he wanted. for a while he'd thought mactavish was ace except roach came in one morning and told them all how he'd seen the man take home some girl from the bar the night before. so straight, which sucked but didn't stop him pushing. then a few of them were at a bar a few miles from base and he'd gone for a leak only to see his captain walk out of a stall adjusting his belt, 3 seconds later followed a pretty boy wiping at his mouth.

Me:

Riley has been extatic to know he had a chance and if Tav really didn't want it. Well the man was more than capable of getting him to stop.

The fact MacTavish allowed it in of itself was damn near the equivalents of permission. He let them do as they pleased for the most part sure.

But he was not beyond jumping down someone's throat if they annoyed him too much. People just understood You could do what you wanted but If it was something you couldn't... Well you would find out.

The captain was brutal there was no denying that. He expected perfection and would settle for nothing less and it seemed if only gotten worse his standards raising in the past few weeks. This seems to be the answer for it but wtf did it mean.

It made sense and fit perfectly sure but It was bat shit insane. Riley prided himself in nothing was too far-fetched but this? This pushed the limit for him.

He didn't mention it as he handed the journal back. He didn't mention it to anyone else either. He just continued doing what he always did. Being a nuisance in flirting with the captain

Az:

"if you insist on using that mouth of yours for something other than shutting up, be at my bunk at lights out and i'll use it for you"

mactavish walks away and silence follows. not one of them can believe what they just heard. they all look at each other over lunch in shock. not once in the years the unit has existed has the captain ever responded to a come on and never to riley. everyone to a man knew the lieutenant was gagging for it, would have been the man's personal fluffer at the barest crook of a finger. and yet...

"ok, what the fuck was that riley?"

"what?" the manc is still reeling and under other circumstances maybe they'd let him get away with it.

peasant comes up and places a restraining hand on his shoulder, archer and worm not a step behind. the rest of the unit move the make sure they're alone, pushing out the few straggling outsiders. whatever the fuck is going on is for the 141's ears only.

"riley, cap's been acting different for the last few weeks, we all know it." toad stares him down as the rest nod in agreement. "feels like a storm's coming and no one but him sees it."

Me:

Riley is still shell shocked "What?" He repeated because SURELY that hadn't just happened.

"Something is up " Meat agreed and Riley wasn't having it. "No no no go back did he just....is he serious?" Riley sounded excited.

"Yes and that's half the issue. What the fuck has changed so much?" Chemo answered easily

Riley wasn't listening he had tuned them out. They were onto something sure and he definitely had a piece to that puzzle.

That however was a later issue, right now? Now he had been offered to fallow though on the flirting.

( az: riley, horny and about to combust: "let me go! i need to get to him!"

the rest of the unit, holding him down: "no, tell us what's going on!"

Me: Riley has answers but is overwhelmed with the horny

Az: the man who thought he'd been made immune to torture is about to learn

Me: The 141: What the fuck is going on?? Surely Riley knows I mean he's around the man more than the rest of us combined

*Cut to Riley who is throthing at the mouth*)

Me:

"RILEY!" Worm shouts at him and Riley turns to snarl at him. "You are around him all the time you're his right had you have to know something. Is it confidential just give us something to work with." Worm begged

Riley groaned in annoyance, "I don't know shit. He hasn't told me anything but...yeah it's not right I *know* that."

Riley wouldn't bring up the journal even though he's sure it is the key to all of this. He shouldn't have seen it in the first place, it wasn't his place to talk about it.

"You don't know anything?" Archer asked dubiously and we'll ge kind of did. He had looked into what McTavish was diving into.

It was files on Shepherd he was looking for dirt. He knew something was wrong there even if he couldn't have concrete proof, even if he didn't bring up the journal.

"I'm not sure what exactly but he's digging for something on Shepherd." Riley answered with a sigh.

"Shepherd? Why Shepherd?" Rook asked and Riley weighed his options.

"I'm not completely sure, but I think he's onto something. I don't talk about before..but Shepherd owns me. Sure I'm here but he could pull me away just as easy. He's always been off he'd use me to do a dirty jobs stuff we can't have on the books." A breath.

"He's not a good man and if MacTavish thinks something's off to the point where he needs to look into it. Well I'd say he's onto something." Riley finishes with a shrug

Az:

and it's not like he'd be sad to get out of sheppards leash. not even if it meant a new one in mactavish's hands.

the world tip and he finds himself on the floor before he knows it. a weight settles on his back even as he manages to flip onto his back. roach is sitting on him and signing rapidly. you should have told us before! we've been freaking out for weeks!

it's probably a sign of how they're all on edge that riley doesn't even try and dislodge the man, instead he tries to reassure him, them. "roach, man, you know how the cap is. he wouldn't want us getting involved especially with how dangerous sheppard is."

peasant squats down beside them and flicks riley's forhead. "oi! none of that, ya hear? we're all 141, that includes you and the cap."

meat picks roach up off of him and tosses him over his shoulder as peasant gives him a hand up, "now, this is what we're gonna do: tonight you give the captain what he deserves and we'll get into his shit. if you do your job well enough he'll be too relaxed to be pissed at us and maybe even enough to let us help"

Me:

Riley has never agreed to something faster in his life. Not like he needs insensitive to put in his best effort.

He ends up in the Captain's quarters and it's without a question the best sex of Riley's life. He's used like a toy and he couldn't be happier.

He knows when he wakes up he'll be useless for the day but it's a sacrifice that has to be made. Besides if The captain gets mad about it well it's his fault.

Riley didn't expect as much passion as he got he was blindsided by the desperation the man showed. It was so unlike him but fuck it was hot.

Sure enough he woke up and he was as sore as he had been after his first hell week. To his surprise Tav was still asleep curled around him.

Riley wouldn't complain and couldn't even if he wanted too. Luckily for him it didn't take long for the other man to wake up.

He stirred as be buried his face further into Riley's hair. "Good morning Johnny." Riley chirped and Tav slapped a hand on his mouth.

"Fuckin told ye no ta call me that." He slurred out voice deep and gravely accent thicker then Riley has ever heard it. It made him melt a little

Az:

he'd happily lie there for the rest of his life, feeling the hollow ache in his ass and light stinging heat from the bites and bruises littered across his skin, even the tacky feeling of drying cum can't ruin the afterglow. he feels ridiculous. he feels fucking giddy.

"missed you" he'd miss it if mactavish's mouth wasn't right by his ear and it's said so quietly, almost a mumble. it's ice water. he twists to look at him but the other man is still more asleep than awake.

I missed you

the caps notebook. it described all their deaths, riley and roach's in particular. that had been months of entries before the last one and next to it had been a short list of dates: one about the time mactavish had started acting off, the next coming up in the next week or so. 3 others following, the last a little after that last entry underlined in red.

Me:

Riley had no reason to believe what he saw in the notebook. Hell it could be delusions cased by the last of sleep the man had be getting.

But Tavs soft 'I missed you' is all it took to convince him it was all real. Was that pathetic and probably his own hopes speaking? Probably but this had become proof for him.

Maybe by the time the others had an idea what was going on it would be answered. At least he could hope because things weren't right.

By the time they both got showed (another round in there) and dressed the team was waiting for them.

In Roach's hand was the journal and Riley locked eyes with him. He saw the same apprehension and horror.

MacTavish just froze up before growling and ripping it out of his hand. Roach didn't even try to hold on to it.

"WHAT THE FACK IS THIS?!" Tav demanded and Riley realizes he may have possibly fucked up.

"You're not acting like yourself we got worried so we did some snooping." Chemo said easily and there was definitely a vain popping out of the Captain's neck.

"I can have you all fired for this!' MacTavish roars but not one of them believe he'll do that for a moment. "Sure but then how will you kill Shepherd and Makarov?" Archer asked.

MacTavish came up short. "What?" He asked confused.

"How will you stop WW3 Without us?" Archer asked smugly. MacTavish looks she'll shocked. Riley's missing something but it seems that they're getting somewhere.

"You believe everything you saw and read?" He asked and the others just nodded in agreement. It wouldn't be something MacTavish would lie about they all knew that.

Az:

"why?"

"Why what?" toad asks

"why do you belive any of that?" Mactavish spits, pointing at the book and it really shouldn;t surprise anyone he's defensive. if even half of what's in there is true then Johnny's been very alone for a long time.

"Sir," chemo starts but how do they explain it?

because we believe you roach says and yes it is that simple.

"it makes sense" meat adds

peasant shrugs, "we know you, sir, you don't do anything for no reason. a few weeks ago you started acting ...off. you're our captain. it was like you'd been turned up to 100!"

there are murmers from the men and comments about the little things but it comes down to the fact that the 141 operates on a very simple and very straightforward mentality: look to the captain

Me:

MacTavish thinks he might cry. He isn't sure how to deal with this overwhelming support. He was so used to being pushed aside and ignored and it hurt. He forgot that this team was based off of.

Trust.

He pulls them into a long abandoned confidence room that promised pricey and showed exactly what he had figured out so far.

The room looks like a mess stuff everywhere. There was paper tacked to walls scribbles on the table. It looked like What people imagined conspiracy theorists did in their free time.

He explained everything and what he had proof of and what he didn't. Strings of evidence and spots where he just couldn't find anything even though he knew how it happened.

It was a week later on the exact specified time when they recovered Price.

No one was sure how to proceed with this and MacTavish was in shambles.

"I should kill him." MacTavish had announced to them all later that night.

"If you do that how do you explain it the way?" Riley asked honestly keen on getting rid of the men but still he had to point out the obvious.

'Doctors already took a look at him It can't be passed off his injuries. If you killed him it would be an assassination someone on base would have had to do it. You can't hide that It would be investigated.' Roach pointed out.

"They have bigger fish to fry than whoever killed Price." MacTavish reasoned.

"Yeah because they wouldn't care about a man who was being held specifically by Makarov." Chemo daid sarcastically.

MacTavish groaned

Zombie hummed, "Let us handle it, sir, best if you aren't involved. From what you've said he'll try and dig in with you so you'd be one of the first questioned."

the men agree even if they don't like it. mactavish didn't hold back when he told them about price and how the man got into his head, pulled him along like a trained dog. and gods did riley not want the man near his captain.

he'd been the one to drag johnny to bed, make sure he ate, keep him on track now that the rest of the men were on board. and maybe there was a part of him that wanted as much of the man as he could have just in case....

the other's were supportive, of course, but they'd agreed to let him handle the more personal aspects to getting their captain through this hell. they helped manage the brass and the other soldiers, handed over their meals and wrote up paperwork that didn;t need more than the cap's signature. rook and zach, the most personable of them, made friends with some of sheppards men and kept a more trained eye on them. robot and red exercised their tech skill and bugged the system. everyone had their ears to the ground but they knew they were running out of time.

so it's no surprise when they're in the hidden office, trying to work out what the hell they can do when mactavish slips in and thunks down on a chair. he looks exhausted.

riley's up and fixing him a coffee without a thought, the others going quiet as the man leans back, eyes closed.

"sir?"

he sighs. "ah cannae do it. if price says another thin' aboot us ah'm gonnae shoot 'im."

it's not secret that soon as the man was let out of medical he'd been on mactavish like tik on a curdog. riley had been hard pressed not to punch the man when he'd given the lieutenant a nasty look seeing him lean in against his captain. "here, Tav"

"Thanks, Si" he groaned, taking a big swallow not caring at the heat. eventually he shrugs, "maybe ah could get price and sheppard to kill each other"

Me:

The room paused at that

The batshit idea was.... Well not as insane as it was intended to be

MacTavish looked up at the silence. "That's a good idea isn't it?" He asked the room at large.

Affirmatives rang around the room and he groaned. "Shit we've been trying to make this more complicated than it had to be haven't we?" He asked and another round of agreements sounded.

"How do we get this to happen? Have him overhear us? Act like it's a secret and drop hints? Leave my office door open with all the information layed out for him to find?" He asked the team.

"Why not all of it sir?" Riley asked his eyes crinkling as a smirk presumably crawled across his face.

They deemed it 'mouse trap' even though which was the mouse in this situation was unclear. They started small with cutting off conversations about it when Price appeared. Then to hiding files when he entered a room.

It progressed to vague explanations that made no sense and finally to the office door being left slightly open one night.

The next morning Price was gone

Az:

roach definately suggests just asking price to deliver something to sheppard just for it to go boom

Me:

They wait impatiently for the news to ring one way or the other. Either way it can't be a loss they know that for sure

Az:

the only reason they veto is because of collateral

the brass are in an uproar but since the 141 have no idea where he went there' not much they can do.

what they do know is where makarov will be in a few days time so they plan for him instead. sheppard need to be in washington that week so it's easy enough to fly under his radar. a little hacking here, some misplace paperwork there, and they're a week earlier than the bastards expect. it's too risky to have men on site when makarov gets there, instead mactavish has them place enough explosvies to level a small town and then they wait.

from a very distant vantage point they confirm makarov has exited his chopper and walked inside. they wait 5 minutes and then blow it sky high. nothing is left, from the parking area to the sewers, it's all slag and detritus.

Me:

The aftermath is mayhem But MacTavish refuses to let them leave until they can confirm he is in fact dead.

It doesn't take much convincing as they get out the dogs and have them search for anyone living as well as pulling out the other stops just in case.

Everything comes up negative. And they all sigh a breath of relief

[littlelqtte]

@lacyscabinet made me post this so its her fault if im wrong

CAITLYN KIRAMMAN IS AUTISTIC AND HERES WHY (coming from a fellow autistic infj)

first of all baby caitlyn like her only friend at the age of 14/15 is jayce whos like at least 7 years older like for me ie its easier to find an older friend than one my age, because of the emotional maturity and/or interests so theres that also while talking with jayce she mentioned that “shes a misfit too” which is not a phrase you usually hear from a girl who seemigly doesnt stick out in a group of other girls her age and yet caitlyn feels different it could be because position her family takes in piltover and/or because of the usual feeling autistics experience, seeing they differ from others in how they act, feel and see stuff

second

s2 e3, her huge argument with vi in my humble opinion it felt pretty much like a meltdown honestly the way she acted right before the argument was impulsive and she showed a lot of black and white thinking which im not gonna elaborate on because everyone knows what im talking about but lets focus the way she treats vi during the argument shes obviously in pain, grieving and angry but shes not able to process the feelings normally, either because shes used to repressing, or because shes never delt with such strong emotions before which is also likely, or well once again neurodivergence. so while not being able to process it, she treats vi agressively, which is common in meltdowns. shes not nescessarily angry at her, no she’s just taking it out on her, which is sad and not right, but painfully common during meltdowns/breakdowns.

i have so much more of it in my notes app but i dont want to embarrass myself further 😭😭 if you want it you can dm me or something

[sufferu]

Would you say that one of sources of miscommunication that happens in BTZ stems from the fact that everyone kinda still views Subaru from how he USED to be instead of how he is currently?

In some of your asks, I notice you say that no one really notices how bad things are for Subaru because they don’t really see anything wrong, or they don’t bother talking about things they KNOW would bother him because they assume he’s either over it or just didn’t notice it due to him being dense.

But all of that hinged on what they knew about THEIR Subaru didn’t it? They all kinda seem to operate on what they think THEIR Subaru would do. Without ever even considering that if everything changed for Subaru it might also change Subaru himself. It’s like they wanted him to get rid of his bad habits but still stay the exact same personality wise, like they honestly didn’t consider that he would be different AT ALL.

Even in your BTZ II snippets theres this kinda wistful thing going on like: ‘He’s still the same old Subaru. God I love him.’ Meanwhile Subaru (and me) are quietly freaking out in the background.

I think why a lot of people are going ‘they can’t possibly be THIS blind’ is not only because we see his perspective but also due to us viewing the two Subarus as completely different people from the start and reacting to how we think a normal person we aren’t personally close should be treated.

Like yeah a stranger who was watching all this would be like ‘dude wtf was that for? You guys suck and this boy should get away from you YESTERDAY’.

I love your writing but damn I would be lying if I said it wasn’t giving me second hand emotional damage.

You’re spot on, actually. It’s not the ONLY factor, but their experiences with past!Subaru are absolutely blinding them to the discrepancies that exist between him and the Subaru of the present moment. It’s why Julius sees Subaru insisting on sparring with him every morning and getting pouty if he lets him win as Subaru wanting him to play rough, as opposed to Subaru feeling a need to prove himself. It’s why Rem watches him try desperately to help clean and thinks about how he’s always hated sitting still and letting others do all the work for him, because there’s no use in wondering WHY he feels the need to pitch in so often when she already feels like she has rhe answer. It’s why Emilia hears Subaru talking her into asking Julius to dance with her as him being his extraordinarily empathetic self who just wants her to be happy, instead of as him concluding that he will never be good enough for her no matter how hard he tries. There are some differences they notice here and there, but for the most part Subaru’s actions can so easily slot into their preconceptions of his personality that they just…don’t feel the need to interrogate it all that closely.

It’s not the only factor, lol, not by a long shot. But it’s a big one, yeah.

[morganbritton132]

Towards the start of Eddie’s popularity on Tiktok, he gets stopped at the park by one those Tiktokers that stop people in public and ask them questions.

Eddie’s game to talk so they’re having a little conversation when a man runs by, slaps him on the ass, and says all breathy, “Looking good, Munson.” Then they’re gone.

The video blows up and people are offended on Eddie behalf that he was assaulted by this jogger. People even slow the footage down to try to see what the guy looked like but he was wearing sunglasses and a hoodie so there’s no good angle.

Eddie responds to it all with a video from his car like. “Guys, relax. It was my husband.”

He then pans the camera over to the passenger seat of the car to what is pretty much just an ass shot because Steve has his top half hanging out the car window so he can argue with Dustin and Mike. Eddie’s just like, “See. Same shorts.”

He has a hold of the waistband of said shorts because he does not trust Steve not to fall out the window. Though he does let go to pinch Steve on the ass. “And now we’re even.”

Steve sticks his hand back in the car and swats at Eddie’s hand, and then just holds it. Eddie turns the camera back to himself and ends the video with a pleased smile on his face.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Just once, I would like to be able to have a conversation about my feelings with someone where they don't, at some point, start trying to explain to me why something happened such that they are either implying or outright stating I should stop having noticeable feelings at them about a thing and/or telling me that I'm wrong about how I feel and actually if I just understood this thing I would see that I'm being unreasonable to say I feel the way I do.

Just once, for someone's response to be "it sounds like you're feeling [insert thing, e.g hurt, sad, scared, tired, angry, etc], I'm sad that you are dealing with that." Not to take responsibility for my feelings! But for them to acknowledge that they're happening and might matter to me before they move on to whatever the fuck next thing they have to say is

[m0thlegs]

y’all learned the term “media literacy” and have not shut the fuck up since

[pixelephant]

i need to get the fuck out of here

[heyitslapis]

Yall dont even know just how well-behaved i am DAILY at work! its like having two jobs at once! like im an undercover person who is put in a room with intolerable people very opposite of me in every way & is forced to play pretend & be niceys or else i dont get my prize at the end (clocking out & getting a paycheck)

[suguae]

Haunted

Toji cannot move on, until he realized too late.

Warnings: Angst, slightest fluff (reader and baby 'gumi moment)

You were just a girl, standing in front of a man, asking him to love you.

How hard was that for him? Yes, he wasn’t good with his words but he wasn’t good at anything else either. He was just there.

Maybe because the woman he truly loved—he was still mourning over her. His sad eyes every time he watched an old couple dance together, wishing he had been doing that but with her. The cute babies babble with their mothers as Megumi babbles with his father, how he wished his wife was still here instead of you. He never said it, but that’s what it felt like. 

And perhaps that's what it was. 

Sometimes he curses himself out when he accidentally calls you his wife's name. During intimate times only. You tried—trying to keep the emotions in as if it wasn’t breaking every part of you, was the hardest part. “Look he’s walking...” You smiled at the dark haired baby who was walking towards you. Toji smiled, making sure he’d record every second of it; deep down he wished his wife was the one the baby was walking towards instead of you.

And it was wrong—so wrong. 

“This relationship, I’m with you but Toji—Toji this is the loneliest I’ve ever felt.” You whispered while he ate his leftovers, his brows still furrowed from the argument occurring earlier. Having Toji work from 9–5 wasn’t the best but good thing he had you, helping him out with so much. Picking up groceries, picking up his lovely son—until you mentioned that one of his teachers mistaken you as his biological mother. That right there was enough to make Toji angry for weeks at least.

But not this time.

He stopped chewing on his food after you spoke, waiting for more of an explanation. Which you figured he needed, “I don’t think you’re in love with me–” 

“I like you [name], a lot.” He cleared his throat. He leaned back on his chair as his arms crossed waiting for you to continue the sentence he interrupted. 

Right, he liked you a lot. These three rough years you’ve been dating Toji—that particular l word was never uttered once, not even if he was drunk, or having a special moment with you. You huffed trying to find the right words for Toji to understand. That was until little Megumi started crying from his room. “I’ll try to put him back to sleep, finish eating.” He watched as your fragile little body sulked its way to Megumi’s room.

He knew this was gonna happen, he knew you were bound to leave him sooner or later. 

You smiled as you opened the door to see the little Megumi standing on top of his little bed. His hands wiping his tears as he ran towards you, his arms now wrapping around your legs. “Sleep with mama and papa.” He cried out as you leaned down to pick up the little boy. “[name] and papa, not mama okay?” You corrected him, if Toji were to find out that he had been calling you that, then that argument would’ve climaxed.

The little boy nodded, his tears now gone as you swayed him around. “Sleep with you.” He mumbled, leaning his head on your shoulder as he played with a strand of your hair. “Just for tonight.” You whispered, watching Megumi pick up his head and smile. Content with your answer. 

Toji’s heart could just swell at the sight. You treated his son as if he was your own and nothing looked so much better right now, except for the fact that he wished it was his wife.

Megumi was now soundly sleeping between you and Toji, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” His eyes shut tightly hearing those piercing words leave your mouth. It hurt when his wife left him, but this hurt was different—different because he knew it was coming yet he didn’t want to do anything about it. 

“I’m sorry—”

“You don’t need to be the one apologizing.” He watched your soft gaze stare at completely nothing. He was confused, this was his fault. He never treated you how you needed deserved to be treated. “It was my fault for throwing myself at a man who simply was not ready.”

The next morning was silent—baby ‘gumi was confused at the saddened look on your face. Constantly walking up to you asking if you were okay. He was still just a baby, yet he read the room so well. “I’m sure we can work this out—” Toji now sitting next to you on the couch, some cartoon playing in the back as Megumi’s little head sat on your lap. “You’re not ready, Toji.” You nodded, eyes still glued on the tv as if it was meant for you and not the little Megumi. 

“And how are you so sure—”

“Tell me you love me then.” Your eyes are now fixed on Toji’s. It was hard, he felt as if his mouth had been glued shut. You sigh, bringing your gaze back to the tv, “I love you—but it’s hard when it’s one sided Toji.” 

It hurt much more, seeing you drive away as the clueless Megumi waved you out. Poor thing thinks you’re simply going to the store. The house that once felt like home was so dull now. Toji sat little ‘gumi down on the couch. 

His constant, “mama?” or “[name]?” while he kept his gaze on the door every so often. Nothing prepared Toji for this. Megumi cried that he wanted to sleep with his mama and papa, his heart swelled knowing that he had been talking about you.

You were gone, just like his wife. But it hurt—it hurt so much more knowing that you’re alive trying your best to…move on. He stayed up late that same night, stumbling upon a video from two years ago. When Megumi first learned how to walk. You and Toji had just started dating but the look of happiness plastered your face as you watched the little baby walking. 

That was one thing Toji never forgot about, how much you loved kids. Telling him how once you had kids of your own you would finally be able to live in peace. How he heard of it less and less as the years went on, he wonders if you still think that.

next part ->

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Summoning Failed Successfully

Imagine a warehouse. Imagine a bunch of cultists in dark robes with all the candles, daggers, ancient books, and chanting. Now add Danny.

Only not as the summoned being, no. As a sacrifice.

He is sitting down, tied to a chair, in the middle of the summoning circle, looking as bored and deadpan as he can possibly be. The cultists are chanting, and he frowns, listening to their chants for a moment.

"Hey, is that Latin?" He questions, but to no avail, "You know you're not actually using those words correctly, right?"

"Keep quiet, child!" One of the cultists snaps. Danny leans back in his chair and shrugs.

"I'm just saying, you ain't summoning shit with wrong grammar," he huffs, seemingly absolutely nonchalant about the whole thing. Oracle, who is watching the whole ordeal through the surveillance cameras, raises her eyebrows. Red Robin and Robin are already en route to the building the cultists chose for their extracurricular activities, but now she almost wants to watch this a bit longer.

Gothamites are pretty used to all kinds of shitshows, but this boy is from out of town. She checked him through facial recognition. Daniel Fenton, a transfer student from Amity Park, Illinois.

A few more cultists stop chanting and turn to Danny.

"Do you know Latin?" One of them asks, and the boy makes a half-nod, making a thoughtful face.

"Not fluently, but, like, it's a dead language, I felt kinda obligated to learn it. Just for the meme, you know?" He chuckles.

The cultists, judging by their confused silence, don't know. Barbara doesn't know what he's talking about, either. But she is almost curious now, so she taps Robin's and RR's comm lines:

"RR, Robin, when you arrive, don't jump into the scene," she asks.

"Understood," Tim answers immediately, but Damian, of course, demands explanations:

"Is there an obstacle?"

"Not really," Barbara humms, "The sacrifice is in the process of de-escalating the situation."

She can almost hear the questioning silence over the comm, but, thankfully, no one argues. Meanwhile, one of the cultists pipes up, voice full of doubt:

"So, you can... like, proofread our incantation?"

"Yeah, sure," Danny nods, apparently fine with being sacrificed, "Who you're trying to summon anyway?"

"Satan," that same cultist answers, and Danny laughs approvingly.

"Classic," he nods and smiles, "I'll give you this. The circle is mostly alright, so you don't need an incantation to summon the fucker, I have him on speed dial." And with that, he leans forward, screaming towards the floor: "Ey, Satan!"

Barbara must say the act was actually convincing, but he went a little overboard with it now. She reaches to tell both Robins to get in, but suddenly, a loud, booming voice reverberates through the building.

"The fuck do you want, kid?"

Cultists fall to their knees - it doesn't seem like an act of worship, more like their knees bucking. The whole circle dimly lights up in red, smoke raising from it.

"Do you see this shit, Oracle?" Red Robin questions, and she mhm's at him, not sure what else to say. If this is still an act or a trick, she must say it's a very good one. Although somehow she suspects it's not a trick. She's seen enough magic in her life to tell the difference.

"Do you want to come to Earth, be gay and do crimes?" Danny asks, almost mockingly.

"Fuck off."

The red light flickers and disappears, and Danny looks back up to cultists, grinning cheerfully.

"Welp, looks like he doesn't wanna," the kid concludes and stands up from his chair. Barbara hadn't seen when or how he got out of his bindings.

The cultists just watch him walk out of the circle in bewilderment.

"Pursue?" Robin's voice comes over the comms, and Barbara thinks for a moment.

"I get a feeling like that's a bad idea," Tim mutters over his line.

Barbara agrees.

[sincerelyrki]

forbidden fruit

how would four best friends, all helplessly in love with their other best friends big sister, react to getting her leaked sex tape sent them via a groupchat? there was only two options. one was to ignore it, and the other was to act on it.

pairing : enha!hyungline x fem!reader

warnings + genre : smut. oral (m+f). fivesome. anal. double penetration. pool sex. anal (f). spitting. choking. partial MxM. brothers best friend(s). jealousy. profanity. spit. cum eating/sharing. sunghoon has a breeding kink. unsafe sex. name calling/slight degradation. marking. reverse harem. a singular photo gets taken. begging. switch!jay. switch!jake. dom!heeseung. dom!sunghoon. switch!reader. whining. 18+.

wc : 7.9k

a/n : been gone for a while and about to disappear again… i’ve been too busy to do literally anything, i just got back from a month vacation and i’m leaving again for another week on friday. anyways not sure how i feel about this but i hope you can accept this as an apology for my absence 🙏 don’t be shy to leave feedback, i’d love to hear everyones thoughts <3

written perm taglist : @vousty @ilololoveyou @moon0fthenight

An alluring person you were, the sweet nectar of a forbidden fruit strong with your scent as you swayed passed them. 

A forbidden fruit, that’s all you were- all they allowed you to be. 

It was hard staying away from you, their shared desire to hold you, to bend you over any surface was nearly impossible to hold back. 

The rush of heat racing across their bodies, the unforgiving hairs on their tensed necks raising with interest at every innocent graze of your skin. Your short skirts quickly became a problem amongst your four friends, your thick thighs peeking out beneath the tight material- fuck it was a sight out of every man’s wet dreams. 

Your innocent eyes could do nothing to stop their reactions. Your long eyelashes fluttering lightly against your shined cheeks, pink with your favourite blush, pretty lips pulling up into the sweetest smile- you’re fucking ruining them, and they did nothing to stop it. 

It was wrong to think of you in this way, to picture you in any compromising position. So wrong to imagine the bruises on your knees, caused by your foolishly clumsy tumbles, to be a result of your mouth against them, well… wrapped around them. 

Hearing about your sexual conquers was one thing, but seeing it was a completely different story. At least for one of the options they could pretend it never happened, that it was nothing more than a misspeaking- a horrible mistake of a slip of a tongue. 

But after all, there was nothing they could do. Fate was more than cruel when they made you nothing more than their best friends older sister.

Taunting wasn’t it? Dangling the one thing they all wanted in front of their noses, allowing them a preview of the woman they all dreamt about late at night with their warm palms wrapped around their leaking cocks, crying with the simulation of what they imagined your mouth, god what your fucking pussy would feel like wrapped tight around them. 

Their thoughts would torture them with the idea of what you would sound like, and how you would look while they manipulated your body to best fit their size. 

Their imagination was so cruel, so. fucking. cruel. It was too easy to imagine your mouth in place of their hands, to pretend that the nasty audio in their ears was in reality, your whimpers. They would ignore their phone's notification, their volume sensitivity going off as the wanton moans in their ears rose in volume. Their questions kept them up even longer, their palms tightening to an almost painful hold as their mind uncontrollably spiralled.

Would you beg for them to wrap their fingers around your neck while they pounded deep into you? Would you push them onto their backs, dropping your entire weight back down onto them? Would you leave pretty scratches up their backs, purposefully using your nails to carve your initials deep into their shoulders?

As said before, it was fucking torture. 

So imagine their collective shock when they woke up to a mysterious group chat, one that only included two things. A message, and a short thirty-second video.

It wasn’t only the obvious gloating message that outraged them, but rather it was the very compromising, and also very nude, photo of you that was set as the thumbnail.

678-999-8212

*one video attached*

well, it looks like I won, doesn’t it?

heeseung 

what the fuck?

jay

holy shit, is that yn? 

heeseung 

don’t look, just delete it

sunghoon

too late, I’m going to kill him

jake

you don’t even know who he is😭

jay

she doesn’t look like she’s enjoying it…

even a blind man could tell that she was faking it

heeseung

fucking prick, I could make her feel so much better

sunghoon

she’s mine, back tf off?

heeseung

in what fucking universe?

jake

I don’t remember there being a rule against sharing

jay

all four of us?

jake

I mean… why not? 

And once again, that was something they all agreed on.  

As usual, you came waltzing downstairs right at eight in the evening. Nothing appeared different about the way you came in, your hair in its usual updo with one of your many pretty sundresses tight around your bust. 

To the older boys, it was crazy how unaffected you looked. A sour taste filled Sunghoon’s mouth, his eyes glaring holes into your exposed calves. 

He watched the way you walked, the slight bounce in your step only noticeable due to his heavy stare, his distaste growing the longer he watched the way you moved.

No Hickeys? Clearly, the man you chose last night wasn’t the right option because if he was then he would’ve been like Sunghoon. He would’ve thrown your legs over his shoulders as he pressed his tongue deep into your greedy hole, leaving hickeys all across your inner thighs with matching fingerprints. 

He wouldn’t stop even when you cried with sensitivity, your legs shaking around his body while your bottom lips quivered uncontrollably. 

No limp? Once again, Sunghoon would’ve never let you leave his room until he physically had to hold your body straight. You’d feel him for the next week, feel his aching thrusts every time he ever thought about touching another man. 

Sunghoon thought that it was obvious that a girl like you deserved to be ravished, to be loved on to the point where it had you questioning everything about yourself. 

But it seemed that only a few shared his same feelings, his eyes catching the way his slightly older friends’ hands clenched against their thighs. 

“Are you going anywhere today?” Jake felt his body stiffen at the way your dress swayed at your knees when you came to a stop, your arms crossing against your chest as you smiled at your younger brother.

Jake’s eyes followed the movement, his mouth opening and closing observing the way your chest pushed up at your innocent action. His thoughts raced at the way they’d feel pressed around his hard dick, the image itself causing his shorts to tighten. 

It was when he met your eyes that he realized what he was doing, his eyes snapping to the side while he repositioned himself. He was fortunate enough to have been wrapped in a blanket, his growing size hidden away from your sight. 

But even then all he felt was your eyes staring straight through him. He allowed himself to look back up once, guilt flooding his system when you passed him a cute smile. He was a fucking perv, and no one but himself was there to witness it all. 

“No, I had a long day yesterday.” Rage. His eyes burned with an invisible fire that quickly melted away any guilt, the video playing in front of his eyes once again- as if the other fifty-seven times wasn’t enough. “I think I’m just going to spend my day by the pool, practice my breathing.” Jake caught onto the innuendo right away, a barely noticeable wink getting thrown his way before you turned your attention back to your brother. 

Your younger brother, Jungwon, hummed at your words. Everyone knew he wasn’t paying close attention to you, your words going in one ear and out the other while he leaned against his spread knees, hands wrapped around his white controller.

“Fuck- okay, um I think the hyungs wanted to go swimming today too-“ Jungwon’s cursing became blurred out as his words grew heavy in the air. Without meaning to, Jungwon graced his friends with the perfect scenario. 

“Not sure about the others, but I think I’d love to go swimming with you.” Heeseung stood up, his eyes never looking away from your own as he dramatically stretched his arms up, his shirt pulling up to display the bottom half of his torso- flexing his muscles in the process.

His lips pulled up at the side when he saw the way you shamelessly stared at his abs, your eyes burning lines into his skin as they trailed across every inch of exposed skin. His ego could only expand seeing the way you rubbed your knees together at the sight of his v-line.

And when a throat clearing on his other side moved your attention from his body, Heeseung wanted nothing more than to punch Jay’s faux shy smirk off his lips. 

Jay pushed forward, his chest stopping centimetres from yours. “I don’t have any trunks, do you mind showing me where the spares are?” He tilted his head to the side with a much less shy smile, his eyebrows slightly raising as he waited for your response. 

He made the effort to never look away from your eyes, his pupils expanding under the bright light. It was only then that you noticed the light freckles spreading across the expanse of his nose, your eyes connecting the new constellations as his question faded into the back of your mind. 

Jay saw one of the boys move forward before he felt them, a hand-clapping against his shoulder before he was spun towards them. Sunghoon’s face was bare of expression, his hold on Jay’s shoulder tightening with every word that came from his lips- “Well luckily for you I also need a pair and I happen to know exactly where Jungwon keeps them.” 

Sunghoon didn’t look your way before he turned his back to the two of you, his footsteps light as he began descending down the hallway. You watched through a haze as the other boys followed, their overlapping whispers barely audible over each other.

But at last, you managed to make out one before the four of them disappeared from your sight, “we all have trunks, we literally planned on using them last night?” And with that, a smirk grew on your lips. 

Naivety was one game that you had mastered from an early age, it was about time they caught on. And so you turned on your heel, walking towards the laundry room to collect one of your many pool towels. 

“I’m going out, Minjae needs help setting up for the party tomorrow.” Your brother rushed past you, his hand plucking your sunglasses from your head with a playful smile, “I think I'll be needing these a bit more.” And with the close of the door, you decided to ditch your towel. 

If the boys were playing the game you thought they were then you definitely wouldn’t be needing one. 

All four boys couldn’t move their eyes from your barely covered form, their mouths practically open and drooling watching the way you pulled your dress up. 

The sun kissed your skin in a perfectly golden hue, your body glistening with an addictive enhancement due to a thin layer of sweat. 

Their cheeks grew warm as they watched you pull the fabric over your hips, their greedy eyes drinking in all newly exposed skin. They were all aware that they were tiptoeing the line of being perverted, but god the way you moved was fucking hypnotizing. 

One second they had you, and the next they didn’t. You went diving into the deep end, a perfected technique that they would’ve commented on under any other circumstances. 

By the time you rose from the water, time moved in slow motion. Your hair slung over your shoulder, droplets of water cascading down your face- dripping everywhere from your lips to your eyelashes. 

A forbidden fruit, that’s still all you were. 

Half an hour later, that stance was impossible to believe. Heeseung had you right where he wanted you, your covered core pressed against his, discretely grinding against him as you pretended to play colours. 

“hm, is your colour red?” Your head tilted to the side, arms wrapped around his shoulder as you prepared to get dunked again. 

“No.” He lied. His colour was, in fact, red, but in his defence you just looked way too good in his arms, wrapped around him. He wasn’t sure how he managed to get into this situation, but after a singular look from you, he had folded.

He was almost positive that for the game colours the second player would be held bridal style, but you insisted otherwise. And Heeseung decided then and there that he’d never argue with a pretty girl.

“How about green?” Heeseung shook his head once, a cheesy smile on his lips. You groaned out loud, your hand smacking against the water as you threw your little tantrum.

Heeseung decided against dunking you this time, your cute upset smile warming his chest. “How about a different game, truth or dare?” 

You jumped up with excitement, the movement causing Heeseung to groan. You both paused, eyes wide once you realized what just happened. 

“Oh- I’m sorry-“ You tried apologizing to which Heeseung just shushed you, his face bright red. “Truth or dare?” He decided to change the subject, giving you an appreciative smile once you reciprocated it. 

“No, can I go first?” Heeseung jokingly rolled his eyes at you, his arms propping up on the poolside behind him. 

“Truth.” Heeseung assumed this would be the easy way out, as it usually was. It wasn’t that he had any secrets to hide, so why wouldn’t he choose truth?

“Have you ever had sex in a pool?” This, perhaps, is the only time Heeseung wishes that he chose dare. 

“No.” He didn’t provide an explanation, not even after you desperately begged for one. It was the truth, he never has. He didn’t see the appeal to hook up with someone in the pool, because what’s the point? 

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Heeseung wasn’t shocked, dare having been your go-to since you were a child. 

“I dare you kiss me.” Heeseung thought you’d reject him, leave him to go bother someone else. But you’ve been the person to deny a dare.

And so you leaned forward, connecting your lips. It was only a second long, but it managed to changed your entire dynamic. 

“Truth or dare?” And against Heeseung’s better judgment, he finally chose dare. 

“I dare you to fuck me.” 

Heeseung knew it was risky, but a dare was a dare, right? 

“Are you seriously  fucking in the pool?” Heeseung froze, there’s no way they just got caught- “Are you jealous?” there was no denying it now. 

If you didn’t care that the others knew, why would he? And so he pulled at the two strings holding your bottoms together, completely removing them. 

The other boys’ faces fell when they saw Heeseung raise your bottoms, betrayal swimming across their faces watching the way his hands controlled your body.

“What the fuck-” Jake choked out after a minute of watching his best friend trust into you, the way your legs wrapped around his waist as you filled your hips to match his pace.

Your moan awoke something deep within them, a desire that made each of them forget about the entire “forbidden fruit” bullshit.

“Don’t be rude, share.” Heeseung rolled his eyes at Sunghoon’s demand but complied. There was plenty of time for Heeseung to make you cum, this one time won’t make a difference.

He hauled you onto the side of the pool, your cunt exposed for all of them to see. Sunghoon didn’t waste a minute before he threw your legs over his shoulder, pressing his face into you. 

Your hands wrapped around his loose hair, the wet strands pulling together in a makeshift ponytail. He started by licking across the labia, his tongue flat against the entirety of you. 

He used two fingers to spread you, his nose pushing against your clit as he lapped at your leaking hole, his quiet groan causing vibrations to speak across your entire body. 

His touch awakened many of the nerves in your body, his tongue bringing you to a place no other man managed to and that was only within the first minute. You didn’t even want to imagine the way you’d feel by the time you finished on his face, would it be as good as you hoped? Or even better?

Jake was growing impatient, his face nearly pressed against your leg as he watched the way Sunghoon ate you- his entire body throbbing with need.

Heeseung noticed and nudged Jake forward, his head nodding towards the place Sunghoon’s head was buried, “we’re sharing, remember?”

Jake didn’t need to be told twice, easily sliding between your leg and Sunghoon’s arm. You looked at Jake with confusion, having never been put in a situation where two men wanted to have you at the same time. 

But Jake didn’t care, all he needed was to taste you- to feel your pulse against his tongue. 

Once he knew that you were watching he lowered his head towards the place where Sunghoon’s mouth was attached to you, both men making eye contact for half a second before the other man shifted to the side- making room for the other.

Your jaw dropped open when he attached his mouth to your clit, his tongue using the mixture of your wetness and Sunghoon’s spit to move in spirals. 

It seemed that the lewd noises from Jake caught the attention of the other two boys, their jaws matching yours. “Holy shit-“ Heeseung leaned forward to view better, his hand coming down to push Jake’s hair from his face. 

The three of you watched as the two boys performed, their tongues pressing together as they switched positions, Jake pulling one of your knees over his shoulder in an attempt to pull you closer. 

Heeseung used his hold on Jake’s hair to tilt his head closer to Sunghoon’s, their lips practically touching with every move. “Our baby deserves a better view.” He tsked from his position on your side, eyebrows furrowed while he watched the boys walk an invisible line.

Sunghoon’s heavy eyes glared up towards Heeseung, his sticky cheeks glistening so pretty under the pool's lights. There were some things that Sunghoon could ignore, but a blatant challenge? He’d be dead before he proved anyone wrong.

And so, while maintaining eye contact, he turned his head towards Jake. He pushed his lips against the side of the boys, pushing his tongue to lick at the exact stop Jake was lapping at. 

Jake, of course, reciprocated right away- both boys practically making out against your cunt, strings of saliva connected the three of you together. And such performers they were, the other boys growing jealous at your undivided attention being pulled at the boys between your legs.

A rough tap on your cheek was enough to pull your attention back to a kneeling, now hands-free, Heeseung. One of his now free hands gripped at the area where your chin and neck meet, his thumb pressing directly on your pulse point. 

“Are they making you feel good?” He cooed, his lips jutting out while his other hand toyed with the string of his bathing suit bottoms. 

You nodded at his words, your face melting into his palms with a dumb look in your eyes. Heeseung barely managed to keep down his smile, his chest warming at the sight of you nuzzling against him. 

If it wasn’t for the throbbing in his lower body, then maybe he could’ve adored the sight for a minute longer. But his impatience grew thin the longer he heard the noise from between your legs, jealousy stirring deep in his stomach.

“Open your mouth.” His hand moved further up your chin, your cheeks now pressed between two of his fingers, tightening as he applied pressure, forcing your lips open. You tried your best to keep your lips sealed, a playful action that evoked the exact reaction you expected.

Heeseung’s eyes narrowed on demand, his nose slightly scrunching together as he looked at you with a look you recognized all too well. 

Your stomach tightened in anticipation, the rumours surrounding Heeseung’s kinks coming to your head.

It wasn’t a secret that Heeseung got around, but his partners seemed to remain a mystery. You had first heard the rumours in your eleventh-grade history class, a few girls crowded around the seat behind you, their voices mudding together as they formed their own fantasies. 

It wasn’t hard to hear the name of the man of the hour, your brother's best friend’s name being on your mind more times than it was supposed to.

It was a childhood crush, a dream that got crushed with the words spilling from the other girl's lips. They’d whisper about how Heeseung only bed college women, about how he only liked women with experience. 

In their words, he wanted someone who could “handle it.” At first, you didn’t understand what they meant, handle what? It was a week later when you finally understood, it was then when you decided that you were over him.

If you couldn't get under him, why not get over him? And that’s what you did, well until now. 

It was safe to say that the current you could handle him, your experience growing tenfold in the year after you graduated. 

But there was this one rumoured kink that you couldn’t seem to shake, one that has stuck around since the day you heard it. 

He rose to his feet, pushing his trunks down in a smooth swipe, completely exposing himself to your watering mouth. His hand returned to its position, pressing your mouth open once again. Only this time, you allowed him.  

His length felt heavy on your tongue, foreign to what you were used to. He was much bigger than most of your past partners, which you took as a good sign. 

There had to be some proof of the rumour, and you couldn’t help but take this as the first hint. The second hint came directly after, his tip hitting the back of your throat, bottoming out straight away.

Throatfucking? Sure it was pretty basic, but god some men just couldn’t do it. They either went too fast and shallow, barely reaching halfway across your tongue. Or they went too slow and deep, your boredom growing as they used your throat in a pathetic attempt.

Heeseung, the man who was almost known for his head game rumours, seemed to be the perfect fit. 

Your senses were filled with nothing but him. His taste filled your mouth, the precum coating your mouth in a layer of lubricant. Both your throat and scalp burned with each thrust, but it hurt so good.

His soft grunts made you all more pliant, loosening your jaw to allow more suction, it was a sight straight out of both of your wet dreams. Jay seemed to agree. 

Jay’s hand wrapped around the base of your throat, tightening- holding you in place. His breath tickled your ear as he blew warm air against it, his words slipping out with each harsh thrust getting pushed in.

“You can feel him so deep, can’t you?” He pressed small kisses along your jawline, trailing down to the center of your throat. He pulled away the tiniest bit, his eyes glowing with amazement as he watched the way your skin bulged every few seconds.

He raised a finger to press against the most prominent spot, his lips following suit as he began nipping against the same spot. “C’mon, I need you too…” He trailed off, alternating between kissing and sucking on your exposed neck. 

“Please, don’t make me beg.” Jay didn’t need to say another word, your hand already blindly searching for his shorts. His hand quickly guided yours, pushing it between his stomach and the elastic. 

His head fell against your shoulder, his chest pressed halfway across your back. He didn’t care for the man on his other side, his eyes closing as he melted into the feeling of your hands rubbing against his bare cock.

Heeseung’s head fell back at your increase of moans, the vibrations rushing his release. He quickly pulled out of your mouth, his hand gripping around his base as he stopped himself from cumming too early. 

Heeseung looked back between your legs, Sunghoon now sucking hickeys against your thighs as Jake pushed his finger into you, his tongue licking at the skin stretching around them. 

A cool shiver spread through his back, his bare body exposed to the cold wind blowing from the pool. It was then that he noticed that goosebumps were present along most of your arms, granted some were for other reasons, but it was the only sign he needed. 

Instead of using words, he just opted to lean toward the two boys still half-submerged in the water. He grabbed Jake’s hair, pulling his face away from your cunt. 

Jake’s eyes snapped up, confusion clouding his irises. Heeseung ignored the look before letting Jake go, reaching over to do the same thing to Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon caught onto Heeseung’s look way quicker, his body detaching from yours as he hauled himself from the pool, his trunks tight against his waist.

Jake, albeit still a bit confused, followed suit right away. Heeseung looked at Jake’s now bare thighs, his eyebrows furrowing in a silent question. 

Jake only shrugged, shooting him a sly smile before he used his thumb to point over his shoulder, his black trunks floating along the surface on the other side of the pool. 

All that was left was you and Jay, your full attention on him. His chest pushing harshly against you, his heartbeat thumping against your shoulder blades. 

“We’re going inside.” Jay shook his head against you, his hips pushing forward to rut into your warm hands. You clicked your tongue in faux annoyance, your fingers tightening almost painfully against him- forcing his movements to stop. 

You removed your hands from his shorts, your hands wrapping around the band to pull him in front of you. Your chests were pressed together, hearts beating as one. 

His watery eyes opened, meeting yours as his cheeks flushed. Your facade melted, your eyes filling with adoration at his needy expression. “We’re not done, you’ll feel so much better upstairs.” You whispered, ignoring all the other boy's eyes staring directly at your exposed body. 

Jay still didn’t move, his eyes pulling you in once again. Without a thought, you pushed your lips against his- tilting your head for a closer angle.

It wasn’t even ten seconds in when Heeseung came stomping over, his hand grabbing Jay’s hair to pull his lips away from yours. A thick string of spit stretched across both of your lips, your head following his. 

All boy's jaws dropped at your following action, their arousal and jealousy battling against each other. You leaned forward once more, your tongue pressing against the side of Jay's mouth, swiping from one side to the other.

You causally licked the spit from his lips before swiping at your own bottom lip. After a moment of silence, you looked up.

Jay’s mouth opened and closed, gaping at the sudden action. “You- what?” He blubbered out, shock heavy in his tone. And just as Jake did before, you just shrugged. “Can’t let it go to waste, can we?” You stood up using Sunghoon’s outstretched palm, entwining your fingers while sliding your slides back on. 

 “We’re going inside, now,” Heeseung growled towards Jay, his eyes watching your hips sway as you walked away. 

The second you stepped into your bedroom Sunghoon pushed you against the wall, his hand wrapped tight around your throat with his lips pushed into yours- pinning you down. 

He traced your entire body, nerves coming alive with every inch of unmarked space. He finally moved his eyes down to the marks on your thighs, his marks. 

Pride. Pride wasn’t a new feeling to Sunghoon, but he swears he’d never felt it this strong. He was almost happy that you were left unmarked, he didn’t even want to think about how he’d react to seeing proof of another man’s hands touching you. 

Sure he was furious that you weren’t getting the pleasure you deserved, but Sunghoon could give you all that and more. He’d give you anything, even if it meant sharing you with three of his friends. 

“Why didn’t you come to me?” He knew he had to ask now because if he didn’t then he wouldn’t ever build himself to. 

Your expression became guarded, lips pulling closed at his hurt tone. “What do you mean?” Sunghoon froze, did you not know?

You watched his reaction, the way he retracted into himself. “With your needs, I could’ve helped you.” He tried regaining his confidence, squaring his shoulders as he stood taller. 

“You wouldn’t have to fake it with me.” Ah, now you understood. A smirk rose on your lips, your hands moving on their own as you gripped his waist. 

“Are you sure? My other boys make me feel pretty good.” You stressed the last few words while your hands travelled further up his exposed torso- pressing against his lower stomach for a few seconds before tracing the lines between his flexed abs. 

Sunghoon hissed under his breath at your words, his eyes darkening at the mention of your former partners.

“The video didn’t seem very promising, we wouldn’t have you looking all neat, looking untouched.” It was then that Sunghoon realized the other boys were surrounding his other sides, their arms almost pressed against his. 

You looked up towards Heeseung, tilting your head with a fake pondering look, “A video?” He nodded once, his jaw clenched at your fake oblivious attitude. 

“And how did I look?” You wrapped your hand around Sunghoon’s, pulling it away from your neck. He took your action as a signal to move back, pulling his body from yours. 

All the boys stayed silent at your question- which was something that didn’t sit right with you. You looked at each of them before you landed on Jake, noting the way his cock twitched at your sudden attention. 

You turned your body to face him while ignoring all the other boys, your palm coming up to rest against his heaving chest. You made a show of trailing your finger across your collar bones, all the way up to your halter bikini top. 

“How did I look, Jakey?” A stuttered cough left his left the second your finger pulled at the knot, your top now dangling around your rib cage, your breast completely exposed. 

“I didn’t do this, did I?” You grabbed his wrists, moving his hands to press your breasts together. You contorted your expression into one of pleasure, your lips dramatically dropping open as you pretended to choke on your words. 

Jake shook his head to the side, his body moving on autopilot as he calculated his next moves. 

“No, but I think you knew that.” You pursed your lips while shaking your head at him, nose scrunching up in annoyance. “I didn't see the video, you did.”

Heeseung reacted before anyone else, his hand grabbing your arm to pull you towards your bed. 

“You’ve been bratty all night, clearly no one’s taught you to behave.” Heeseung pushed you flat against the bed, his knee pressing flesh against your sensitive pussy. You let out a loud mewl, your back arching into his knee. “I think you need to teach me again.” Your head flew back when you began moving your hips against him, his knee providing the perfect pressure against your swollen clit. 

Heeseung kept his arms crossed across his chest, expression unmoving as you used his knee to get off. Your whimpers had a clear effect on both Jay and Jake, both of their hands wrapped around their exposed cocks as they jerked themselves off at the sight. 

“P- please help, it doesn’t feel as good without someone’s help.” You blubbered out a beg, your lips pouting together while your lash line filled with unshed tears. Your desperation was clear, your hips stuttering against the bed due to the lack of pressure. 

“Aw look at you, a slutty baby who can’t do anything by herself.” Sunghoon cooed from over Heeseung’s shoulder, his hand holding onto his shoulder as he watched the way you rubbed against Heeseung. 

“But pathetic cry babies don’t deserve help, do they?” You rapidly shook your head, plethoras of different disagreements leaving your lips. 

“But you’re not a crybaby.” Jake joined into the taunting, kid body weighing you down as he kneeled to your side. His hands reached over to rub across your cheeks, his fingers catching your salty tears. You nodded your head, eyes wide with excitement thinking that at least one of them was on your side.

“So stop fucking crying.” His harsh words were still sung with the same cooing tone, his gentle hands contradicting their speech.

“M’not crying, not a baby.” Jake nodded along to your words, repeating them back to you once before he turned his head to look at the two boys standing above you. 

They both nodded toward Jay, who was still standing on the right side of the bed- opposite to Jake. Jake gave the other boy a single once-over before he nodded back at the other two. 

Jake placed a small kiss against the apple of your cheek, your salty tears sticking to his skin before stood up from his position. You, who read the situation wrong, began repeating your small sorrys. Apologies slipped from your mouth in a slobbly mantra, your desperate attempt to be touched once again. 

“You’re sorry?” It was a rhetorical question, but still- you answered. Heeseung took charge once again, his hand pressing against your knee- rubbing small circles into it. 

“Prove it to us.”

Jay, who removed his trunks at the door, crawled onto the bed beside you. He sat in the center of the bed, right above your head. “Make Jay feel good, show him how much you need him.”

You didn’t waste another second before you turned to your stomach, your ass pressed in the air as you arched towards the other boys. Your hand wrapped around Jay, your tongue peaking out to give small kitten licks to his tip.

Jay bit his lip in anticipation, his feet twitching by his side with each small touch. His head was filled with nothing but you, the thoughts of you. 

His nightly thoughts were finally getting played out, the warmth of your lips millimetres away from him drove him insane. But he wasn’t the only one growing desperate, the sharp smack against your ass laying it down. 

“Giving him those pathetic licks won’t do anything, even Sunghoon could do better.” Heeseung tutted, his hand smacking you once before before he pressed his hand flat against your upper back, pushing you closer to Jay. 

“What the fuck?” Sunghoon glared at Heeseung for adding his name, to which he just gave him an exasperated look. “You were the one practicing making out with Jake earlier, not me.”

Both named boys looked away, their cheeks burning bright red. “Whatever.” Sunghoon scoffed, his shyness still coming in full force as he recalled the way he reacted earlier. 

Their almost argument was cut off at the gasp Jay let out, all three of them watching the way his face pulled up in pleasure. Heeseung never thought that he’d enjoy watching another man’s reaction to getting their dick sucked, but he also never thought that he’d be sharing someone with three of his friends. 

The sounds coming from your lips were downright disgusting, slurps mixed with the occasional gag- but in a way, you’ve never sounded better. 

Heeseung could see the way Jake was stopping himself from stroking too much- not wanting to cum anywhere but in you. Sunghoon noticed it too, his small snickers catching the Australian boys attention. 

Jake’s jaw dropped when both boys stepped back, allowing Jake to take their place. He waited a few seconds, making sure that he was actually catching what they were throwing- and not making it up in his head. 

He got his answer in the way the boys moved on either side of the bed, Heeseung’s hand resting against Jake’s shoulder when he stepped beside him.

Heeseung gave him a small nudge, pushing him towards your legs. He gave a reassuring nod with a tight-lipped smile, and that was all Jake needed. 

“Comdom?” Heeseung leaned forward to meet your eyes, his question heavy in the air. Sunghoon stood with bated breath as he waited for your response, his chest blowing out when you finally shook your head. 

Jake knew you were spread enough, having been the one to stretch you out by the pool. And you certainly were wet enough, but even that couldn’t stop him from spitting on his palm- rubbing it across his entire dick. 

He used one hand to push your back into a further arch, the other wrapped around his base as he lined himself up. The second his tip entered you the tiniest bit- he pauses.

If this was going to be the only time he got to have you, why not savour it all? He removed his hand from his base but instead used it to spread your lips out. 

He got the full effect, watching the way your tight hole sucked him in- gripping him. His groan rolled from his mouth once he bottomed out, his balls slapping against you once before he pulled back out, slamming in harder the second time. 

Both of his hands were now gripping your hips, his short nails making half-moons across your skin as he repeatedly pulled you back into him.

You saw stars, the stimulation feeling like nothing before. You weren’t sure if you could ever go back to only fucking one person, not when two people against you felt this good. 

A cock in your mouth and one in your pussy, heaven. They were fucking ruining you, and you loved every moment of it. 

You felt the way Jay was getting closer, his noises growing quieter the longer he held his breath. You reached your hand under your chin, massaging his balls with one hand while the other pressed down on his pubic bone for stabilization.

You completely removed him from your lips, your tongue sticking out as you trailed it across his most prominent vein, curling it once around the tip before you swooped back down. You replaced your hand with your mouth, sucking his balls into your mouth while your hand twisted along the length. 

You used one finger to press against the slit on his tip, pressing it down. His hips shot forward, a loud moan breaking from his lips at the sensitivity. 

As quickly as you did that, you switched again. Your mouth sunk back down onto him, holding your breath as you held him deep in your throat. 

A second after he let out a pitchy breath, he released in your mouth. Usually, the taste of cum didn’t bother you. Sure it was usually bitter, but after a while, you just learned to ignore it. 

And maybe Jay tasted similar, but he tasted so different. He was addicting, every part of him. And it was for that reason that you didn’t pull away, why you kept going even when his body began twitching beneath you. It’s why you went faster when his broken pleads turned into inaudible sounds. It was why you swallowed around him a second time, swallowing everything he had to give you. Except this time, you held it in your mouth. 

You pulled off of him, his cum still in your mouth. You looked up towards Sunghoon, his eyes widening when you gestured to him to get closer. 

And maybe if you weren’t so fucking hot, then maybe he wouldn’t have complied. Maybe he wouldn’t have opened his mouth, allowing you to spit it into his own. Maybe he wouldn’t have listened to your next orders, but god, you were so fucking hot. 

“Share it with Jake.” They all knew what you meant, and at Jake’s small nod, they all knew exactly. what. you. meant. 

“Holy shit-” Jay’s jaw was on the ground as he watched his friends share his cum between their lips, their tongues twisting together as it grew more intense. 

If Jake’s thrusts meant anything, then you knew that he more than liked it. He loved it. 

“Sunghoon, join Jake.” Your head snapped over to Heeseung, your eyes wide as his words processed in your head. Heeseung ignored your look, staring dead into Sunghoon’s eyes. “I don’t think she’s proved herself yet, one cock in her clearly isn’t enough.” 

The next minute was a blur. One second you were arched into Jake, and the other you were sat on his lap with your legs wrapped around Sunghoon’s waist- his cock inches from you.

Heeseung’s fingers were pressed deep into your ass, the spilled lube coating Jake’s lower stomach. After the third finger, Heeseung decided you were stretched enough.  

Heeseung helped holding you up, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he lowered you onto Jake. Your arms tightened hard around him, your eyes falling closed at the new feeling of having someone pushing into you from the back. 

You’ve tried many things, but anal definitely wasn’t one. 

“Relax, let him in,” Heeseung whispered into your ear, one of his hands rubbing circles into your back. You did what he said, letting go of all the tension in your lower body.

It didn’t take very long for Jake to bottom out, time blurring together due to your hyperfocus on the unknown feeling. “You did s’good.” Heeseung pecked your ear once before he released you, raising his hands to pull your arms off of him. 

You put your arms on Jake’s side, holding him for stability. He took two steps back, still close enough to pull you away if you showed any discomfort. 

The first few thrusts felt weird, the pleasure yet to come. But once it came, it came fast. Your back arched as your head fell back, your lips gaping open. 

Your legs tightened around Sunghoon’s waist, pulling him closer. “P-please-“ you begged through broken moans, your desperation clawing at your chest.

You weren’t entirely sure what you were begging for, but you knew whatever Sunghoon gave you would help. He hesitated for a minute after he lined himself up, his worries of hurting you replacing his neediness for a split second.

It was a split second too long, long enough for you to reach one hand forward and pull his hips into you. Both Jake and Sunghoon paused at the feeling, Jake’s stomach tightening under your hold. 

Sunghoon’s expression was nothing if not pure bliss, his eyes half open, his mouth wide as he let out heavy exhales. His rosy cheeks seemed extra pigmented, his wet bangs hanging over his forehead when his head fell forward. 

The sensations that you were all feeling were so intense- to the point where the three of you stopped breathing. 

The feeling of two cocks in you was something you could never explain, nothing compared. 

And for the boys? The mixture of the tightness and the groves of another dick against theirs? Insane, but so delicious. 

Sunghoon was the first to start moving, his hesitant thrusts causing butterflies to erupt on all three of your stomachs. 

Once Sunghoon found his tempo, Jake began moving to watch it. Your head was completely empty, your mind focused on nothing but the feeling of them entering and exiting you.

Sunghoon leaned forward towards you, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples while the other one played with the other. His moves were slightly sloppy, imprecise pinches and nibbles alternating between each tit. 

Heeseung noticed it right away, his hand coming out to shoo Sunghoon away with a harsh glare. “If you’re not going to do it right, don’t fucking do it at all.” His lips relaxed Sunghoon’s, the difference between the two more obvious than not.

Your chest arched into Heeseung’s mouth, his eyes fluttering closed as he trailed a line of kisses between each breast, small hickeys getting left at random. 

Jay, feeling left out, moved forward to join. He was already as hard as he was when you started, the sight before him nearly sending him into a spiral.

His hand reached down to circle around your clit, his finger never once directly touching it- he knew no one wanted it to end yet. 

It was clear to the four boys when you got close, your body responding to all their touches differently. Jay now allowed his fingers to make contact, fast circles setting your nerves on fire. 

Sunghoon pushed his hand against your stomach, feeling his cock kiss his palm with every push. The bugs made his fantasies come out, images of you swollen with his kids chasing his hips to push in further. 

His primal instincts won against the rational side of his brain, the desire to fill you up feeling stronger than ever. Realistically, he knew you wouldn’t fall pregnant. The plan b pills and your birth control were proof enough, but it didn’t hurt to pretend- right? 

It was then that he remembered the entire reason why they were doing this. It was to prove a point, wasn’t it? And that’s when he got a great idea, one that made complete sense in his half-conscious brain. 

The other man gave proof, shouldn’t they return the favour? His phone was forgotten by the poolside, same with Jake’s.

He had almost lost hope until his eyes caught your phone on your bedside, his eyes lighting up in relief. “Pass me that phone.” Heeseung did what he was asked without question, his lips, which were now attached to yours, stayed unmoving while he reached over. 

He blindly grabbed at the table, taking the first thing that felt like the phone. He’d passed it to Sunghoon- who accepted it right away. 

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the unfamiliar phone, whose was this? 

He knew you didn’t get a new one, having texted you yesterday asking to hang out- to which you cancelled. 

So whose phone was this? Upon noticing that it was shut down, he quickly powered it on. The screen was blank for a second before messages came flooding in. 

No fucking way. 

You let out a muffled moan at Sunghoon’s sudden harsh trust, Heeseung’s lips still moving against yours. 

And at the same time the cameras clicked, you came. 

All four boys panted around you, two of them releasing inside of you right after you finished. Sunghoon ignored the phone for now, tossing it to the side as he pushed himself as deep as he could- holding his hips in place. Even when Heeseung helped Jake pull out, Sunghoon stayed- plugging your cunt full, refusing to let a drop out.

“Switch? I promise I won’t let it leak out.” Heeseung knew exactly what to say to get Sunghoon to move, and it worked every time. 

Sunghoon and Jake stepped back, allowing the other two to take their place. Sunghoon zoned out while Heeseung and Jay situated themselves, choosing the position they wanted you in. 

Now that he was in a slightly better mindset, the images from the phone came rolling back in.

Why the hell were you getting the messages they’d sent in that group chat? There was no one else in the group except for them and the random number. 

It was nearly impossible for you to get those messages unless you were that random number. Sunghoon raised his eyes back towards you, then to the phone, then back to you.

He noticed that you’d seen him make the connection, and you smiled. Naivety was one game that you had mastered from an early age, it was about time they caught on.

[luveline]

Hi Jade! (I’ve sent this before so ignore if you aren’t into it) just thinking about a bau!reader (maybe shy!reader??) who’s dating post-prison Spencer but didn’t know him before prison and she sees some footage of season one Spencer (maybe they need to refer to a recording of a previous case?) and she’s just dying at how cute he is 🥹

You’ve barely woken up with your face in a solid shoulder when Spencer’s turning around.

“Don’t,” he says when you whine, slipping a familiar hand over your hip. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Too early to make fun of me.” 

“Do you think I’m making fun of you?” 

His talking warms your nose where his head is angled down. Your skin smarts with goosebumps as he trails his hand lightly up your back, down again, the slowest, tumbling touch. You shiver, and Spencer, ever so slightly devious in love, says, “Oh, you’re cold?” with great pity as he pulls you closer. 

You rub your face against his shoulder. “Sorry.” 

“Why?”

“I smell.” 

He hums. “Sort of. Not like sweat, though. You smell like sleep.” His lips touch your cheek.

He lets you ‘warm up’ in his arms for a few minutes, then however long you doze for, lost and too comfortable to bother even trying to wake up properly. Your phone pings a couple of times after it comes out of sleep mode, a sure sign you’ve overslept, but Spencer doesn’t make you move until your stomach growls. 

“Come on,” he says, kissing your nose and slipping you back onto your side of the bed. “I’ll make breakfast.” 

“It’s nearly twelve.” 

“You just woke up, and it’s the first thing you’re gonna eat. You are breaking your fast. Breakfast.” He looks pretty even through achy, tired eyes, all the sleep crusted in your lashes no match for Spencer Reid. How you went so long without knowing him is a mystery. 

You get up only because he told you to and because he looked quite lovely when he did it, not because you want to. The bed is warm, that pit of his arms calling your name, but Spencer’s already rolling out of bed with an eager hand scratching through his hair. Sweat has made them tight and a little darker in the back. You’ll both have to shower at some point, preferably after he’s made you breakfast in bed. 

He can see your expectations on your face, and he laughs as he pulls a t-shirt on over his head. “Get up! I’m not bringing it up here, do you know how badly your sleep cycle is affected when you start doing the wrong things in bed?” 

“What counts as the wrong thing?” 

Spencer laughs again, softer now, and for a moment he traces your face with his eyes without speaking. “Fine,” he says, waving a hand at you as he makes for the bedroom door, “stay there. But only ‘cos you look so pretty!” 

“Thank you!” you call back. 

This time with Spencer isn’t enough. You need ten more years of this, thirty, fifty, you need to wake up in his arms and have him touch you and tickle your cheek with his breath. He’s too far to have him come back, so you resign to hugging him when he returns. 

Your phone pings again, drawing your attention finally. The first notification is a reminder to buy toothpaste today at the grocery store. The second is a text from a friend, the third an email. It’s one from last night that piques your interest, another friend, full capital letters: HELP. 

Her use of a laughing emoji defers any urgency. You click on the text thread and scroll up, puzzled by her previous messages, a link, and a caption: oh my god he was so dorky??? 

You open the video and feel your breath catch in surprise. 

Is that Spencer?

You're not stupid, you’ve seen photos of him and his friends together dotted around the apartment from over the years, and every time you come across that photo of him and Diana at a spelling bee with his huge black-framed glasses you have to laugh, but it’s different seeing him to hearing him. 

He’s so nervous. You can’t understand what it is he’s saying, something about mathematical components to profiling criminals. Jason Gideon stands in the background watching him closely. 

“There’s actually a good joke that–”

“Spencer,” Gideon reprimands. 

You watch in awe as Spencer stammers an apology, his cheeks a little pink. You’ve seen Spencer blush, but this feels different. He looks so young. His hair is straight as a pin. 

“Spencer, did you used to straighten your hair?” you call, hoping he can hear you over the sound of a frying pan popping in the kitchen. “Or do you have a perm now, or what?” 

“What!” 

“I’m confused on the logistics of your hair!” You feel something weird in your chest as on screen Spencer tucks a stray strand of hair behind his ear. It’s a mixture of wanting to eat him and wanting to reach through the screen to stroke his cheek with your thumb. 

Spencer treks back into the bedroom with his pink and white pinstripe apron over his shirt and sweatpants. He smells like cinnamon sugar already. “What are you talking about?” 

“My friend found a video of you and Jason at one of those lectures you did.” 

Spencer presses his lips together. For a moment, he doesn’t speak. “I didn’t do any lectures.”

“Uh, yes you did, liar, and you looked so cute.” You turn your phone to him. “So sweet.” 

He marches to the bed. Before you can stop him, he’s taking the phone from your hand, giving you the world's silliest, tiniest shove when you try to get it back. 

“Cruel,” you quip. 

Spencer stares at the phone screen, then you, “Sorry,” he says, turning pink, “I don’t know why I did that, just– I just–” He frowns deeply. “Can you stop smiling like that?” 

You climb onto your knees, a morning disaster, but when you wrap your arms around Spencer’s waist he looks at you like you’re perfect. His eyes soften, brows relaxing, his irises like dark dimes that slowly dilate as he looks you over. Your phone presses into your back, his arm wrapping around you. 

“You were adorable,” you say sincerely. 

“Not anymore?” 

You rub your cheek against his apron. “No, you still are. Let me watch the video again.” 

“Not a chance.”