#btz!rem

[sufferu]

Would you say that one of sources of miscommunication that happens in BTZ stems from the fact that everyone kinda still views Subaru from how he USED to be instead of how he is currently?

In some of your asks, I notice you say that no one really notices how bad things are for Subaru because they don’t really see anything wrong, or they don’t bother talking about things they KNOW would bother him because they assume he’s either over it or just didn’t notice it due to him being dense.

But all of that hinged on what they knew about THEIR Subaru didn’t it? They all kinda seem to operate on what they think THEIR Subaru would do. Without ever even considering that if everything changed for Subaru it might also change Subaru himself. It’s like they wanted him to get rid of his bad habits but still stay the exact same personality wise, like they honestly didn’t consider that he would be different AT ALL.

Even in your BTZ II snippets theres this kinda wistful thing going on like: ‘He’s still the same old Subaru. God I love him.’ Meanwhile Subaru (and me) are quietly freaking out in the background.

I think why a lot of people are going ‘they can’t possibly be THIS blind’ is not only because we see his perspective but also due to us viewing the two Subarus as completely different people from the start and reacting to how we think a normal person we aren’t personally close should be treated.

Like yeah a stranger who was watching all this would be like ‘dude wtf was that for? You guys suck and this boy should get away from you YESTERDAY’.

I love your writing but damn I would be lying if I said it wasn’t giving me second hand emotional damage.

You’re spot on, actually. It’s not the ONLY factor, but their experiences with past!Subaru are absolutely blinding them to the discrepancies that exist between him and the Subaru of the present moment. It’s why Julius sees Subaru insisting on sparring with him every morning and getting pouty if he lets him win as Subaru wanting him to play rough, as opposed to Subaru feeling a need to prove himself. It’s why Rem watches him try desperately to help clean and thinks about how he’s always hated sitting still and letting others do all the work for him, because there’s no use in wondering WHY he feels the need to pitch in so often when she already feels like she has rhe answer. It’s why Emilia hears Subaru talking her into asking Julius to dance with her as him being his extraordinarily empathetic self who just wants her to be happy, instead of as him concluding that he will never be good enough for her no matter how hard he tries. There are some differences they notice here and there, but for the most part Subaru’s actions can so easily slot into their preconceptions of his personality that they just…don’t feel the need to interrogate it all that closely.

It’s not the only factor, lol, not by a long shot. But it’s a big one, yeah.

[sufferu]

how do you look to address the elephant in the room that is rem. even in the happy ending do u look to get rid of her feelings towards Subaru and just her be a friend. Does she do anything other than dissociate from Subaru to attempt to make amends to Subaru for the mansion. Does she just end up as one of Subarus friends at the end. Is she one of the main people looking after Subaru while he’s crippled. With ur approach rem seems near enough impossible to write a satisfactory conclusion for but let’s see what u cook up

BTZ!Rem is quite possibly the one relationship that actually IMPROVED from its initial state in canon Arc 3. Her breaking away from the codependency that she was building with Subaru is absolutely necessary for the two of them to form a relationship that isn’t so insanely toxic that it actively enables both of their worst tendencies forever. The only real issue with her razing it to the ground is that she accidentally chose the Absolute Worst time to do it, because while it was toxic in the long term, in the short term her unflinching support was a very necessary crutch for the duration of Arc 3.

—I was about to say that their relationship would definitely be a platonic one, but now that you bring it up…I guess I COULD actually write a Remsuba ending. Maybe. I’m honestly not sure if I would or not. Hm. Normally I’d say no, because frankly they’re absolutely horrible for each other both pre- and post-amnesia lmao (and while I’m not against writing a fic with people being horrible enablers for one another, it doesn’t really fit the themes of BTZ III specifically) but — BTZ by its very nature is about fresh starts and going back to repair something that appears like it can never be fixed, and a huge crux of the story is about the reevaluation of interpersonal relationships, so maybe…

Hm. I’ll think on that one.

[sufferu]

Are you able to name some of the healers that are dealing with Subaru's injuries in BTZ besides Ferris? Because damn is it that bad that the greatest healer in lugunica is having difficulty mending him back together?

I can’t, simply because there aren’t actually that many named healer characters that I can draw from in canon, lol. I’m probably going to use some OCs for that, but I’m gonna keep their screentime brief because I feel like the focus really should be on the canon characters we all know and love. Rem might be there I guess? And none of them are healers, but Wilhelm, Reinhard, and Julius are all basically right there for a WHILE (grandpa + older brother + [very complicated and also a spoiler]) and they all help out where they can.

And yeah, his injuries are both extreme and complicated in terms of what actually got damaged. Subaru is not having a good time.

[sufferu]

Curious question. BTZ. Does Subaru genuinely see any of these people as his friends? It seems like he's just trying to prove himself. But does he have any real connection with anyone in this timeline?

Well, the Mansion Staff is full of people he believes he HAD a connection with, who WERE his friends, and now he desperately wants them back. …But other than them, it’s — complicated.

Few to none of his relationships in this new environment are SIMPLE. He admires and looks up to Wilhelm, but he’s also wary of him at best and downright scared of him at worst. He hangs out with Ferris quite a bit, but Ferris is having a really difficult time keeping his very turbulent feelings about Return By Death from making him lash out at Subaru almost constantly, and so he’s fully under the impression that Ferris hates him (and honestly, it’s the one case in which he’s not ENTIRELY wrong, because Ferris’ ability to moderate his emotional responses to triggering stimuli is absolute shit). He has a lot of very complicated feelings towards Julius, who he simultaneously is terrified of, is angry with, and desperately wants to become. Ricardo, Reinhard, and most of Crusch’s soldiers are less like friends and more like parole officers he constantly wants to avoid for fear of getting in trouble (especially if he’s trying to prove himself — again — via doing something he knows he’s not supposed to do). Rem WAS his friend, but now she’s done a total 180 on him out of nowhere and hardly even talks to him, even though he can often sense her presence nearby as she keeps a careful, miasma-detecting eye on him, and while she believes she’s cut ties with him very cleanly, Subaru is constantly trying to prove to her that he’s better now and she can totally come back and be his friend again.

Everyone else certainly believes that they are building genuine new connections with him (sans Rem, who very much does not want to do that). And Subaru might make some smaller, more casual connections with people around the Estate, even if he’s in no state to actually recognize them. But all in all — that perceived lack of connections on his part is the main thing slowly driving him insane, and also the main reason why that fic’s title is what it is.

[sufferu]

in btz do we get amnesiac rem or original rem

if original I’m just curious but does she just suppress her feelings or does she lose them

Amnesiac Rem — but having regained her memories + watched her old self through the viewing. She…has very complicated feelings about Subaru, as well as about any prospective relationships that may or may not develop between them.

[sufferu]

Hello! for your btz fic, now that I think about it. You mention that Rem will not be giving subaru the hero speech. Will subaru have a constant nightmare about her killing him, or will his nightmare eventually subside?

I mean in canon he still has nightmares about Rem way into Arc 7, so. Yeah he’s not escaping that lmao

[sufferu]

[BTZ 3 and Rem Related]

Of the character reactions in BTZ 3, Rem is (to me) one of the most interesting hypothetical reactions of the (so far) not mentioned reactions.

After all, I could imagine BTZ 3 Rem thinking about how, in her effort to help Subaru, she repeated the same mistakes she committed in the Arc 2 torture loop. (Miscommunication and HIGHLY incorrect assumptions). I could even see Rem wondering if all the mental pain she’s caused Subaru over the past 3 years, when added together, is greater than the pain she caused him in the torture loop. (Although, if you do decide to go down the route of “Rem and Subaru temporary romantic relationship” that ends with Rem giving an alternate “From Zero” speech, I would guess that Rem does think the recent pain she caused Subaru IS WORSE.)

In BTZ 3, would Rem have similar thoughts like Emilia of “I don’t know if it would be better for Subaru if I'm near him or not.”? Or do you think Rem would be more inclined towards one of those 2 options?

1) …You know I think sometimes y’all overemphasize the gravity of what’s actually going on in BTZ a bit. Like, okay, Subaru is absolutely going through it, but — nobody is TORTURING him. They’re not chasing him down in the woods and beating him with a chain over and over again for hours on end, or continuously bringing him back from the brink of death just to beat him right back down again. Aside from Julius’ big fuck-up at the beginning of BTZ I, everything they’re doing is genuinely coming from a place of thoughtful love and care: making his favorite meals when he shows signs of being homesick, playing games with him in the garden, teaching him how to read and write in the library — it’s all genuinely very sweet and heartfelt from their POVs. The real source of angst here is that there’s this massive disconnect between their intentions and how they are currently being interpreted, not from the actions themselves.

It’s not at all the same thing as what Rem did in Arc 2. Rem would definitely feel a lot of agony about the depth of this miscommunication and all the grief it caused Subaru, but I don’t think she’s compare it to the sheer horror of seeing herself knowingly and willingly torture him for hours in the woods like that. And even if you want to argue that it’s a similar level of pain, I’d at least say that it’s a different KIND of pain. Apples and oranges and all that.

2) Oh Rem is even worse off than Emilia in that regard. Legit the only reason she’s staying with Subaru is because she’s the only one there who is both capable of detecting miasma and not caught up in other commitments (ie. Sword Sainthood and knighthood) that would keep her away from monitoring him for signs of RBD usage. (Beatrice would also technically work, but I like the idea of mirroring Re:Forgotten by sending her off with Emilia — and also Rem is just more fun for me to write lmao.) She’s completely cold to him at first, and it’s not until a long time has passed that she starts tentatively trying to move and to build a relationship with him again.

[sufferu]

…I got something :)

Well since we got a 'I love" scene, can we hope, pray, expect a 'Lets start from zero' speech in turn for BTZ III?

Might do something like that in BTZ I. What sort of fucked-up twist could I put on that scene, I wonder…?

[sufferu]

In your BTZ fic, which memory stood out the most to each cast member?

I don’t think I can say for EVERYONE, but — here’s a couple:

Crusch: Her own refusal to help Subaru when he came to her begging for her to save his loved ones. She gets it — she does — but holy crap is that a hard pill to swallow. She never wants to make a mistake like that again.

Anastasia: The sheer extent to which Emilia has apparently completely failed as Subaru’s liege. Holy shit. Subaru apparently having what she might very well consider a genuine mental disability comes as a close second, though.

Felt: The fact that Anastasia, Priscilla, and Crusch ALL abandoned Subaru at the same time. She didn’t like the nobility before, but that just — made her position SO much clearer to her.

Wilhelm: Subaru crawling away from the White Whale and crying for help. You can assume that this is now playing on loop in the back of his mind almost constantly.

Ferris: Just — the concept of Return By Death. It’s like it was purposefully designed to trigger him, specifically.

Julius: Subaru’s near-complete inability to recognize danger before it hurts him, or worse.

Ricardo: The First Trial, and the reveal that Subaru’s parents probably think he went and killed himself. He made the mistake of thinking of how he’d react if it had been him and Anastasia and — yeah. Traumatizing.

Mimi: The fact that she didn’t help Subaru when he came to her and her Lady for help. She completely failed him, didn’t she?

Eridna: Beatrice leaving him to die to the Wolgarm curse. Seeing him meet Echidna in the Sanctuary was a shock, but — the idea that his own contracted spirit left him to die offended her on a very personal level.

Reinhard: The fact that he apparently Was Not There when Subaru needed him most.

Rachins: The fact that he fucking killed Subaru in an alley that one time.

Rem: Seeing herself torture Subaru in the woods for hours on end. And then — everything she did after that. What the fuck, she had thought HE was the dangerous one—!

Ram: The fact that she killed Subaru in the woods. That — completely recontextualizes their entire relationship. What the fuck.

Otto: He threw him to the White Fucking Whale. …Seeing him trapped in that same damn cave by Petelgeuse is a close second, though.

Garfiel: Kidnapping him in that cave for three days. And also like, just — almost everything he did in those failed Arc 4 loops. What was he DOING?!

Beatrice: It’s a tie between him conversing with her mother and seeing herself leave him to die.

Emilia: Just — her poor knight. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want any of this!

[sufferu]

You mentioned that one of your favorite elements in BTZ is that things can always get better, and it's never too late to make things right. Do you think the cast has a chance to fix any of the IF story Subarus, assuming they see those IF stories?

Please have Pridebaru as the comic relief no one takes seriously, and Slothbaru trying to help in between showing everyone pictures of his kids for the 15th time today

I’m gonna assume that these IF!Barus got sent back in time with all their. Issues.

Ayamatsu: They’ve kinda got to take him seriously enough to make sure that he doesn’t Do That again, and it’s not really comic relief anymore if he’s Right There and not just something out of a bad fanfiction. But — yeah, they might be able to. They’ve just got to get it through his thick skull that the world he is in is real and populated by real people whom he should be treating with respect. This isn’t something that would happen immediately, and they’d probably need to keep him under lock and key, but they might be able to figure it out eventually.

Oboreru: They capture him and release him into a maximum-security cell decorated with a large bed, plenty of blankets and pillows, and an army of soldiers right outside the door. If they can make Subaru feel that this room is safe and secure, then they can eventually use it as an anchor from which he can be escorted out and slowly readjust to the world around him. Wrath!Baru main problem is that he is this paranoid mess of a man that is constantly afraid of being betrayed, and his main threat to them is his Pleiades organization. If they can put him in a position where he can’t leverage his criminal organization against them (because it doesn’t exist), then they don’t have to worry about him killing them and can focus on helping him recover. And if they can construct an environment that is quiet, secure, and predictable, then recovery may indeed be possible.

Sloth:IF: Honestly Sloth!Baru never even really did anything wrong, his only real sin was that he could never come to terms with what happened that day he left. Even if he had never gone back in time they could help him: just get him in therapy to confront his inner demons and realize that 1) the Witch Cult was not his fault and 2) him running to the other side of the world to live a long, safe, and happy life with Rem is EXACTLY what Emilia would have wanted him to do, and he doesn’t have to feel guilty about keeping himself safe. The main issue is honestly that if he goes back in time he loses his wife and kids and — the grief from that would legitimately break him.

Kasaneru: I actually think that things can still be fixed in canon!Kasaneru. Nobody is dead, and so things can still be fixed, because healing is always possible so long as you’re not dead yet. I actually really like the idea of Greed!Emilia learning about RBD and — instead of letting it break her further — finally finding the strength to grow and break free of her chains on her own, leading everyone against Subaru so that he can finally be forcibly resigned and put to rest. In a time-travel scenario, meanwhile, their main issue is keeping Greed!Baru away from anything he can use to kill himself and making sure someone is watching him at all times as they force-feed him therapy about the value of his life. Constant surveillance and plenty of security measures and they indeed might manage to pull it off. —And also they’d need to destroy his connection with Echidna, if possible.

Tsugihagu: If they had the proper context as to why the fuck Subaru is like this, then they’d probably be able to solve it just by having a conversation with him about who he is to them, why they like him, and how any Subaru is a good Subaru, memories or not. The main issue would be the Books of the Dead and how he now has schizophrenia and also an unnerving amount of knowledge about half the cast, which. They could probably deal with that with time but it’s kind of unnerving at the moment.

[sufferu]

Finally read the most recently translated Arc 9 chapters (up to chapter 18).

Aldebaran is fucking crazy but we all knew that. Wasn’t prepared for him to start paralleling all of the IF Routes and also Natchuki Subawu like that though oh my GOD. —Well I WAS, but not to THAT EXTENT—

Including a parallel to the pinky promise scene was vile lmao. Love it

Heinkel is amazing. Truly the universe’s punching bag. I’m really wondering about his “sturdiness” now lol — but also, him and Reinhard…!

PETRA KNOWWWS— But she only read that one Book, hmm…? So she only knows a little bit… BUT ITS ENOUGH—

I wonder if the Witch of Envy would have come out if Petra had read Any Other Book, or if it was specifically because Subaru had confessed about Return By Death that she surfaced like that…

I love that none of these people were trying to kill Aldebaran lmao. Ezzo, Garfiel, Reinhard, and I’m pretty sure Felt, too — all of them were just trying to fucking pacify him. And then he kept killing himself over and over again. What were they thinking in all those loops? What the fuck was that?

What do you MEAN Reinhard doesn’t actually have the [Divine Protection of Wind Reading]?! I mean it makes sense in context but WOW. OKAY.

(…BTZ just got ever so slightly easier to write, not gonna lie— like I had plans for how to deal with that, but I guess I don’t need them after all)

…You know, I knew that Al would be paralleling Subaru and Subawu and all the IF Barus. I did NOT expect to see Arc 3 Rem being paralleled by an “all-purpose maid” character who is explicitly, openly, and gleefully facilitating Aldebaran’s sprint towards his own self-destruction and eventual suicide. That’s — wow. Even when Amnesiac!Rem isn’t around, Arc 3 Rem isn’t getting even a single break in the subtext of the story, is she?

Interpreting Priscilla as a symbol of fate within the story of Re:Zero really adds a whole other layer to Aldebaran’s internal contemplation about her character and how she interacted with those around her.

These characters sure do love commenting on death, suicide, immortality, and all that junk, don’t they? It really takes on a different tone when you realize that everything they’re saying is supposed to be applicable to Subaru in some way (and also Aldebaran).

Aldebaran needs to get rid of Natsuki Subaru “So that I can be myself.” …I really have the feeling that he read Subaru’s Book of the Dead and it blended their identities together somewhat, and that’s why he’s like this. Could also match with him losing his Authority when he got de-aged while Subaru didn’t — as well as why baby!Al was like. DRASTICALLY different from baby!Subaru, with him being a huge crybaby and all while Natchuki Subawu himself was off chasing shinobis and being a little hell-raiser. If that experience got temporarily reversed due to the whole de-aging thing, then that could very well explain all that. …Wonder who he would have been before that.

The idea of Aldebaran wanting to kill himself immediately after gaining his own identity WOULD parallel how Sphinx only finally got her own identity in the instant before she croaked.

The Witch of Envy IGNORES him, he says? …Huh.

Okay so Aldebaran SPECIFICALLY learned Al Shario from Echidna because she expected him to take over Volcanica and use it to fight Reinhard. Which means that she planned for this to happen. Which means that she planned for everything up to this point to happen. …There are a LOT of implications that come with that reveal. A LOT OF THEM.

Felt showed up with FIVE HUNDRED FRIENDS. REINHARD HAS FRIENDS.

Man tho I’m really looking forward to all the Felt Camp focus. They’ve had some really great moments already…!

[sufferu]

How much freedom of movement does subaru exactly have in btz? I mean this not as in he going with the emilia camp, but more like just going out of the mansion into the capital or other citys/countries or cutting connection with them? I think you mentioned that he has like 2/3 guards on him all times if he is not in the mansion but that is all i got Srry if this is unreadable

If Subaru wants to be left alone, he can be alone within the bounds of the two floors and the garden area of the Karsten Estate — though realistically, that means he’s only REALLY alone in his room, because she’s got guards EVERYWHERE.

But if he HAS guards, he’s…honestly got a lot of places he’s allowed to go. He can go into the Capital, travel to neighboring provinces, visit other Estates, whatever. The further he goes the further ahead he has to plan and the more detailed his plans have to be (how long he’ll be gone, what routes he’ll take to get there, who’ll be accompanying him), but he can go. The only real restrictions are things like “No, Subaru, you can’t dive into the middle of a Mabeast nest, you’ll get killed.” Honestly, in this regard he’s being treated a lot like how you’d imagine a PRINCE would be treated: his personal safety is an absolute priority, often at the expense of his autonomy, but it’s not really the same as an imprisonment.

It’s also worth mentioning that “guards” — can indeed mean random high-ranking soldiers from the Karsten Estate that Subaru catches sight of in the hallway, but a lot of other people fit the criteria. Crusch was very specifically thinking of Wilhelm when she gave Subaru that order (“You can leave the Estate if you ask your grandfather to go with you.”) but it also includes Reinhard (obviously), Julius, Ricardo, the Pearlbaton triplets (especially Mimi), Otto (don’t underestimate that man), Garfiel after he shows up, and even REM — after Rem successfully demonstrates that she won’t immediately take advantage of that position to drag Subaru off to get married in Kararagi, anyway. The way it’s set up means that he can totally just convince one of his (assumed) friends to go with him, and it would totally count — so long as he tells Crusch where he’s going and when she should send a rescue squad after him if he has yet to return.

[sufferu]

Something I haven't seen mentioned in BTZ, where is Roswaal in all this? Is he helping out in defeating the Archbishops or is he in serious trouble for basically kickstarting all of Subaru's problems?

Nobody trusts Roswaal lol. They can work with Rem, and the Vollachians, and even Elsa, but Roswaal is officially banned from everything. Doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t WANT to help fight the Witch Cult, but if he does he sure ain’t having any success in convincing anyone, lmao. Sopping wet cat.

[sufferu]

Question regarding the BTZ time travelers:

Is there any lingering grudge between camps(or any individuals in particular) regarding how each of them treated Subaru in the original time-line?

Most of it is directed at themselves, really (“What the hell did I do?!”) but — yeah, there’s a lot of interpersonal tension as a result of. That.

Rem, for example, is not allowing herself to be anywhere near as close with Subaru as she did in the first timeline — but if she were to try, basically the entire cast would jump in to stop her. Felt, Crusch, and Anastasia are under the impression that Emilia is so insanely irresponsible that their immediate goal upon getting back was “We need to get Subaru out of her camp IMMEDIATELY.” Wilhelm is wary of basically everyone who has ever wronged his not-grandson, whether it’s reasonable or not. It’s a lot.

[sufferu]

Honestly with the way your portraying Rem - which I really appreciate because she is really fucked up & it makes her relationship with Subaru fascinating, especially with outsider POV’s looking in -I’m quite curious how the cast will react to the From Zero speech and the toxic heroism mentality that installs in Subaru since the Dogshow cast actually feel human in how they react to things instead of reacting to something like how a character would. I’d honestly also be curious how many people would actually agree with Subaru’s wish to run away which is to them basically trying to protect himself from further death & trauma since they’d not know how the Sloth IF turns out.

Also, something totally unrelated but. Since you were talking about Romantic relationships in BTZ it made me wonder… do you have any plans for Subaru in No Refunds to actually enter a romantic relationship at some point or do you just genuinely think he’s too damaged for it? If the question is spoiler territory, sorry for pushing there, I just found it interesting how other peoples perceptions of Subaru changing so radically might impact his ability to form a connection on that level since they likely consider Subaru mentally disabled with his AWFUL survival instincts, not to mention a horribly traumatized mess even without the mental disability.

Glad you like it :D

Yeah the best way I can describe their reaction to the From Zero speech is…complicated. Cause the thing is — on one hand, no, they don’t think that Subaru running away to marry Rem is a good idea, at all, because they do not have a good opinion of her right now, and also they were totally expecting her to take this opportunity and run with it, so the fact that she actually refused his offer is a shockingly pleasant surprise. Plus, she legitimately does help Subaru pick himself up when nobody else could snap him out of his spiral, she DOES manage to do that. …But on the other hand…yeah, they’re probably not huge fans of the hero complex she helped develop here :/

As for romance in No Refunds — yeah, that’s a spoiler ;) A lot of that story is about characters reassessing who Subaru is and what their relationships with him should be, so…that’s fun! But I guess I can just say — I’m not the type of writer who really cares about romance all that much? Most of the time I actually find platonic relationships much more engaging. (But I will say: in the case that there isn’t a romantic relationship between two characters — it’s not necessarily because he’s too “damaged,” but instead because that may simply…not be what suits their new dynamic best ;))

[sufferu]

[BTZ Related]

Maybe I’m just misremembering, but I thought that you once mentioned that Anastasia had, at first, assumed only her camp saw the theater and time traveled? Because of that, I had just assumed that there were multiple theaters. One for each group of people.

Some group examples:

(All Major Named People in the) Anastasia Camp

(All Major Named People in the) Crush Camp

(All Major Named People in the) Emilia Camp

(All Major Named People in the) Felt Camp

Pleiades Battalion

Flop, Medium, the Shudrak, Cecilus, Olbart, and Vincent

(Can’t remember any other off the top of my head)

Emilia, Rem, and (almost) everyone else realizing that Crush, Felix, and Wilhelm also experienced the theater and time travel: “OH THANK OD LAGUNA!”

Yeah if it’s not clear, I haven’t put a whole lot of thought into the actual React part of the equation here lmao. Now that you mention it, I think I had it so that everyone had experienced it alone…? But the football stadium is also just a very, very funny image lmao—