#i can be very proud and also very tired
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please enjoy 3 months of work on isobel packed down into 1 minute
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#cosplay#isobel thorm#i can be very proud and also very tired#i don't have any photos of the whole thing yet but hopefully i'll get some tomorrow#i'm going to bed if this posts twice ignore it
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Themes vs Realism
Saw an old debate about how isolated the Encanto is and it got me thinking about my own headcanons.
I watched the movie, saw the windows and wine glasses and thought “Oh! They must have trade, glass requires a specific sort of sand and while glass blowers would be relatively common, the odds they had somebody who knows how to make glass frit are pretty low”. And I can back up that argument with research and facts, buying glass is getting more expensive because we’re running low on sand with the right chemical composition, glass frit production would be more likely to happen in towns near silica rich beaches, where as Alma’s hometown looked like it was in the middle of the forest. Nowadays, not every country in the world has the right sand, when I worked with glass blowers they imported their frit from I think a family in Sweden(?) that are like one of the last few people making frit. So glass is actually a very big deal! I digress. Basically, realistically, the fact that they have glass means that they must have some trade.
But that’s completely irrelevant to the movie, isn’t it?
The movie is all about healing from generational trauma, Encanto being completely isolated is better for the movie’s themes. It’s like how we all love the deleted scene where Bruno argues with Alma and says “I wish I was dead” but the writers cut that scene because it gives Bruno confronting Alma on Mirabel’s behalf an extra bit of punch if he was never willing to do so before. Realistically, a deeply unhappy, almost forty adult who is as blunt as Bruno would have had that argument with Alma; thematically, Mirabel’s mysterious Tío couldn’t muster up the courage/passion to confront the movie’s antagonist until he was doing it for love. Realistically, it is actually necessary for Pepa to control her emotions because she can create hurricanes and that sorta disaster could wipe out the village; thematically, Pepa needs to be allowed to let her feelings flow through her without anyone snapping at her about it. Realistically they must have trade; thematically, they must be completely isolated.
There isn’t really a good way for canon to bridge this gap as far as I can tell, in story telling themes usually take precedence over realism, especially in a fantasy setting. But for a lot of people (like me) the funnest thing to do when writing fanfic is throw in a dash of realism and see what comes out of it. Obviously, the way you want to reconcile this is absolutely up to you. I personally care more about the movie sticking to themes than I do it being realistic or conforming to my background knowledge, I’m fully expecting to have most of my head canons disproven when they release more material. That said, for the sake of fic, I think asking questions like “Where are they getting the raw materials to build that” is a great launching pad.
I don’t know how to word my conclusion. That year I spent working with glass blowers is going to butt heads with my suspension of disbelief for the rest of my life? Realism is great for fanfic but not so much in short stories like movies? My head canons will never be canon and it’s better that way?
#encanto#encanto headcanons#encanto meta#foggy rambles#fanfic meta#kinda proud that I managed to keep this one a reasonable length#still putting in a cut because manners#I can also connect this to how I like the idea of Bruno being Demi and doesn’t have a very cis relationship with gender#because that’s what’s most fun and has the most emotional resonance for me specifically#but I won’t be bothered if they make him cis and gay#well… I’ll be bothered if I am then attacked because my pre-existing stories feature him as bi#and I am so tired of being told making a character bi is queer erasure#but that’s a fandom culture problem and this is a post about reconciling canon themes with personal head canons#so I’m saying I won’t get huffy when the canon characters inevitably diverge from the versions in my head#I managed to put all the rambling in the tags :)
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stumbling into the tumblr blog covered in blood. hey guys i think pendog creative library is pretty cool. you should check it out.
#pendog creative library#[cherry on top]#HELLO PENDOG FANDOM. IS THERE ANYBODY IN HERE.#or would it be pcl? eh. pendog just sounds nicer to say compared to pcl.#trying so hard to make sure these tags dont dip into being absolute nonsense because i am currently Very Tired as i write this.#drawing this took something out of meeeee. im very proud of it but i also never want to look at it again (exaggerating)#i was like 'okay this'll be easy. it'll be quick. i dont have to make a glitter texture i can just paste in an image from google.#no shading just simple base colors. make it look like a scrapbook. easy! fun :)'#then miss hecate personally came into my head and said 'listen to me very closely young lady. you are going to shade that drawing-#-whether you like it or not. make those sequins shine against the spotlight properly. make me look nice. do you understand'#and i went 'ma'am yes ma'am' and then focused so hard i got a headache#aaauguasahhghghh. im all good but also augh.#this is what those artists in universe felt like after drawing those miss hectate portraits. i think. i better not go missing after this.#BY THE WAY THE BACKGROUND IS WORMS. NOT INTESTINES. TO CLARIFY. JUST IN CASE.#ask to tag#<- for either of those two things. idk#anyways i need to go the fuck to bed. good NIGHT.
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historically accurate trip to clifton's cafeteria!!!
[progress shots under the readmore]
#em draws stuff#SEND HIS ASS TO THE CLIFTON’S CAFETERIA!#I have been working on this image for More Than A Week and I feel like it has taken years off my life :]#look sometimes you get possessed by enthusiasm about fun comics you read and also nostalgia for bizarre novelty restaurants#due to the fact that clifton's no longer exists I cannot go there. but I can send the blorbos there by force if I so choose.#there's just something about old southern california restaurants with strange gimmicks and themes. take me away to there.#since I am very proud of this I will be using the full proper tags just this one single time [lying through my teeth]#swapping my usual format so there’s not just an absolute deluge of organizational stuff right off the bat#I think I said that the madness would probably go away soon but as you see that has not been the case (it's only gotten worse)#this is the most people I’ve put in a picture since I don’t know when#actually after a quick look-see through my files this might very well be the most people I’ve put in a picture Ever#the madness will do that to ya I guess. also the sheer raw clifton’s energy.#(altho' I got so tired in the end that about half the background is a very crunchy photo of The Real Clifton's...)#this is why my header is what it currently is and also why I posted that horrid 70s jello drink a week ago#many thanks are owed to jon dxppercxdxver for chatting with me about outfits and drink orders and such!#this is fanart for the weirder forefather of a rainforest cafe just as much as it is fanart for a videojame#I do not know what the typical tagging etiquette for this is but by golly I'm going to guess#clifton's cafeteria#team fortress 2#spy tf2#engineer tf2#soldier tf2#sniper tf2#demoman tf2#medic tf2#heavy tf2#pyro tf2#miss pauling#scout tf2#why yes I am tagging clifton's Like It Is The Piece of Media. what of it.
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i'm the antonymph of the internet
#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life#MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do.#unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !!#i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi#from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D#this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but...#haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one#anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character#ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so#much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite.#fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online#a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more#fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her#too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders#standing!!#anyways from me just having fun being me#i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic#and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be#confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing.#anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah#toontown#toontown corporate clash#antonymph#guz art#rainmaker
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A quick reminder for my lovelies doomscrolling, you are okay. You will be okay. We will survive this just as we have many times before. The voice of the people should not be crushed under the weight of the people in power who want to inflict that despair.
It's love that makes us. Whoever holds this seat does not change you. Does not take away the sunrise. It does not take away the tired touch of a lover, no matter what the media may tell you. Your right to love should never be questioned, and I stand with you. I'll carry you if you can't walk right now so that you're here and you can do the same for another.
I wish I had the ability to write something with stronger words, but these come from the heart. This comes from a woman who is so fucking tired of watching their friends live in fear. It comes from a human who loves her fellow man. I truly believe in the good of people. We as humans have something that nothing else in this world has. We have such a beautiful ability to love. To express it and accept it in such a way that no other creature can.
Call me naive for this. Ignore this post if you must. But nothing has ever been achieved by being silent. No lives can be saved and told they're cared for by sitting on the sidelines.
Fight. Struggle. Breathe.
I love you.
#getting serious for a moment#I hate living through historical events too#I really do#I'm tired of seeing posts reminding me that it will be okay#because I shouldn't have to#I should live in a world where being okay is the norm#that we can get the help we need#but you know what?#I'm also so very thankful that people are helping each other#strangers reminding me to breathe and to unclench my jaw#even if it's from a supernatural meme#or the god damn south park community reminding me of just how kind it is#look point is#I'm proud of all of you#you're such an important light#dm me if you need me#even it's to ramble and distract yourself#do not let yourself be consumed by this#live and smile#the sun will rise again
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in an effort to do more efficient Fun Free Time Activities i have started reading the hunger games in german (had planned to reread hunger games + getting back into language study) it’s actually really gratifying how few times ive had to look up words so far
#what’s less gratifying is how long it’s taking me to read! and how quickly i get a headache from it!!#like when i read english and turkish books i do a fair bit of skim-reading#cuz im good enough at those languages to still get the gist#and even with french. for a hot minute at the end of high school i was more skim-reading#i cannot do that w german yet. and turns out when y read every fucking word it gets tiring real fast#very cool that i can understand most of these words tho#groundbreaking! adult woman can understand words from book aimed at children#(god forbid i be proud of a thing i am doing without also trying to ruin my own sense of accomplishment)#my posts
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Me: listening to So You Want To Talk About Race
Me: oh I am learning a lot about my relationship to blackness in this book written by another black woman raised by a white parent (identities to that differing widely)
#personal;#i will probably write a long rambly Post Later (like tomorrow or something)#but i Realized (part of) why i have so much issue relating to blackness this morning bc of something the author says to her (white) mother#and am realizing that /maybe/ race might also be part of why dad was genuinely shocked i thought i was a disappointment for lack of#being told he was proud (and lack of achievements worth a damn to society) bc like. a white cis man will /generally/ get more#for just existing than a shy black girl with emotional regulation issues#*girl/woman re me in this post being used for intersectionality reasons and not gender#well. kinda gender. i WAS a girl. once. until somewhere in my teens#regardless!#i'm very tired but my brain is cooking#i had to turn the book off bc brain cooking too much i can feel it buzzing and i have no energy to deal with the thoughts/emotions making#it buzz and fizzle so#i should force myself to shower#but!!!!!! emphatically recommend to anyone white wanting to learn how to talk about this stuff while being white#and understand concepts you might not get (tho beginnerish level)
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me after three days of in-person meetings and team-building activities.
#i understand her completely#that is the face i made this morning at 7:30 and i got up once again to leave my house before 9 am to be social#i am an empty dried husk.#i am a mango seed when you suck all the pulp and fruit off it#it was really nice to see my coworkers cause i work remotely (which is a true blessing)#and i was very proud of myself cause i didnt feel any anxiety going to a work social event/day like I have in the past#it was actually enjoying to interact with people and be social and FLEX those skills that I don’t often get to use#and as much as I like to be a curmudgeon half the time and be like ‘idgaf about what you did this weekend Karen’ you gotta make conversation#there was even someone cute who I hadn’t met before#my grandma and I had a conversation the other day and she’s like ‘so are you dating?’ and I’m like ‘grandma where will I meet a man?’#and she was like ‘you’re right. where would you meet someone nowadays? people usually meet through work#but I work virtually and half the people are married or not cute! but there was a guy in my assigned group who was cute#so I went out of my way to make conversation with him (it was about work and nothing came from that interaction) BUT STILL#it’s a good reminder I *can* have those interactions if I so choose#I was also ovulating though so I think I moving with more hunger shall we say#anyways#i am very very very tired and socially burnt out#i need to go for a long walk. smoke some weed. read fanfic. get off and go to bed. that is my main focus for the rest of the day#thank FUCK it’s friday tomorrow.
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My sister’s graduation day 😤 let’s go 👏🏽
#gosh it’s gonna be a long day and I’m running on two hours of sleep again#i only get the chance to work at night because I don’t have ✨privacy✨#and I’ve been going to bed late and waking up even more tired than usual and my mom’s been scolding me for it#and now I’ve had to tell her what I’m doing and I feel like I just gave another piece of me away again#everything I am everything I do has to be for other people#im so tired when will I give my last piece away 🥹#this was to make ME proud of ME I was doing it for myself and now I feel like it’s for her#and then she’s going to tell my dad and now it’s for him too#also I can’t even cry about it because she HAS to know why I’m upset#she keeps glancing up at me and talking to me in bits#all I have left is my emotions 🥹#anyhow sorry to start the day off so gloomy and depressing I have literally nothing to be sad about I’m very privileged#sorry you guys see me being a baby constantly 🥺 I really do have a good life and shouldn’t be complaining#here’s to a better day for us all#melifails#now i feel like a jerk subjecting you all to this😭 sorry sorry let’s move on#im gonna be a busy bee hopefully I can squeeze in a time for a nap#😭 I don’t waaaaaannnnnaaa sit for hours in the California heat MAYBE with the sun hitting us in the face#our football field is NOT kind in this way#hopefully my sister gets the shady side but even then the sun will hit us in the face eventually just not as long#im !!! excited!!!! I bought ice cream for today 👏🏽 I originally bought choco chip and minto moose tracks?? my sister loves mint flavor#so I bought mint Oreos too so she can eat them with her ice cream 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽#i assume we’re getting take out of some sort so that; ice cream; and uuuuuuu I don’t remember anything else I bought; my best friend did#bring us snacks yesterday!!! pretzels and cookies!!! so that!!!#okay brain no work no more I gotta get dressed love you muah muah muah
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it is now possible to take destreza's pants off on demand with the click of a button on his little toyhouse page :3 Go play with him <3
#its mobile friendly too!#he has a sexy nun outfit too#please look im very proud of it#i'll add all the art of him i've commissioned soon and actually add his bio but god damn#im so tired of looking at html#tiefling#dnd#dungeons and dragons#destreza#you can also request outfits its actually really easy to make assets for this now that i have the hang of it#my art#ghouldraws
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sometimes you have to open ms paint and draw your beloved
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#ms paint#that kim on the lefr????? is the best kim ive ever drawn#ill have to see how to replicate it bc its. very. very very good#very gentle. very proud of him#ill have to figure out how to do what i enjoy of it and how to draw that in other angles bc. i wanna hold him#also you get both of these for the duality i guess#there was another one i didnt really like i managed to crop it out lmao#but kim is so important to me. man#im so tired i can barely see
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i think there’s a lot of pride i have in chapter 10 and the build up to it
#original post#fic: splinters of madness#again this all has been planned from the beginning#which makes me super happy because now i can see the fruit of my labors#all that foreshadowing#im proud of the twist because its not like its out of the blue and i pulled it out of my ass#it has been here from day one#i just like… i had to say it#anyways sorry just. ranting#i need to take my meds#also ive seen yalls comments and thank you guys so much#i was beyond excited for you guys to read this chapter#i promise i’ll respond soon ive just been very tired lately and my sleep schedule is fucked
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so i did karaoke for the first time ever.
#for the record it was lay all your love on me#initially it was going to be four of us doing it together#it ended up being 10 of us crowded around the mic#there was also a VERY cute guy there who is friends with people i know#but yeah honestly baby fresher me would not recognise this person it's insane how my attitude has turned into 'fuck it' more recently#like to the point where i'm genuinely considering auditioning for a minor role in a production of macbeth#i mean i've done barely any work#and i haven't touched my fics#but my god can i be social successfully now#anyway#little toot toot for how far i've come in the last few years#in conclusion: very tired but proud#personal#lit talks
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sometimes you start to wonder what the historical record for the guys you made up looks like in the fictional world where they existed. and then you make some fake documents about it.
[moth and compass is a collaboration with @natdrinkstea!!!]
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#moth and compass#the lieutenant: chadwick goodfellow#the cannon spike: matthew worley#Get Wikipedia-ed! [my writing style is not very good but you'd best believe that my typefaces and colors are as accurate as can be]#do not really like the way that semi-realistic older matthew turned out but I was tired of looking at him. So.#genuinely very proud of Poorly Scanned PDF Goodfellow though. fiddled around with textured eraser settings for Hours and it was Worth It.#anyway now it's FUNFACTS time! since this is of course not the only lore that there is on these guys#but just what one might find if you tried to research them now in m&c-verse#as we are in the timeline where these are just guys from mine and nat's heads there is More That Can Be Said#such as that the drawing of goodfellow in that article is copied from the second portrait of him#and if you've been paying attention to previous goodfellow drawings you may have seen it!#I've also previously drawn the midshipman miniature and it's around somewhere as well#also matthew + faith + george were all in a relationship while george was alive#but too few of their letters survive for wikipedia editors to confirm that :/#I feel. Weird about posting this for some reason. but it may just be on account of that it is fully 1am when I'm writing this. ah well.#also the places mentioned in here are Made Up also#there Was in fact a historical hms ophelia but she was over a hundred years later so Shhhh
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spent the whole day at an archery competition yesterday!!! twas really fun and i got slightly better :3 i also spent the whole day with long sleeves till it was my turn. it did not prevent the sunburns. i have a stripe pattern on my left arm now (caused by my arm protection)
#yes i forgot sunscreen. i also forgot to take a spoon to eat my pasta salad.#to be fair i didn’t forget anything that i put on my list. but i did make the list at past 11pm while completely tired#and with the knowledge i’d have to wake up at 5am#also there was barely any sun or warmth for the entire morning. i was nearly cold actually#when twas my turn in the afternoon the sun suddenly started to burn for an hour and i could feel it. and then it rained jdhdhjs#nothing like last week’s competition where we were drenched and kept waiting for 5min between each flight for slightly better conditions#(no lightning in the 5min span)#yesterday there was a lot of wind too which is more worrying than the rain#but i dealt really well with it and i’m proud of that!! i release my arrows really quickly usually but!!!#i took my time to find the best window between the blasts of wind. we have two minutes for a flight of three arrows and it feels so so long#(because really. it *is* very very long. the longest 2min of my life are when i wait for my turn)#but i really help to know that i am able to fly my arrows fast enough. so i know i can calmly wait for 20 seconds and still finish on time#anyway i had fun!!!!!!! i socialised the whole day!!!!!!!! with good people!!!!!!!!!!#and i got some advice which is always valuable
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