#i can and will make every speak now tv song about them (watch me)

[huntingrays]

leo “flight risk with a fear of falling” valdez and jason “careless man’s careful son” grace

[hopelessdelusional]

i cannot physically stop thinking abt american transfer student! reader x bkg

like i’m american and compared to japanese culture americans are so fucking messy 😭 that being said if you went to public school (and wasn’t apart of the “popular” group) you’ve witnessed crazy shit-ESPECIALLY in the south like these schools are not for the weak

you never back down from his insults or threats, bc you’ve dealt with dickheads like him all the time in america! public school was insane so this doesn’t phase you at all. when he notices that you don’t even flinch at his crazy antics he feels…different. especially when you insult him right back like it’s nothing. you always have a come back for him and you have physically fought him (and won) on multiple occasions. it makes him start to admire and respect you (and obviously fall in loooooove)

he slowly drifts closer to you, mentally and physically. i am a stern believer in physical touch bkg like fucking fight me. he would want to always be near you so that yall will accidentally brush hands or bump shoulders, every touch sending a shock down his spine

tbh i think the only way to be able to date bkg is to also be mean and i just cannot stop thinking about FUNNY their pre!relationship would be

*bkg saying some bullshit*

you, mumbling in english “big back bitch”

bkg: HAH⁉️WHATD YOU SAY⁉️

we know that shoto can speak english (at least like decently) and tbh i head cannon denki speaking english as well bc idk it suits him. with that being said, whenever you say something crazy in english shoto is always like 😮 and denki is HOWLING meanwhile bkg is CRAZY jealous bc he can’t understand english

like u don’t understand bkg is soooo jealous bc u and denki bond over music, tv shows, and movies and he keeps kicking himself on passing up his parents offer to teach him english. not to mention yall whisper shit in english a LOT and you guys are not slick with how much yall be giggling. bkg is always glaring at yall whenever that happens, and there have been a couple of times where you felt bad so u told him what yall were saying and you get so happy when you see his mouth turn up into a smile while he chuckles.

this is so random but it also pisses him off when u have t shirts on with english words. so it’ll be like dinner time and he’s huffing and puffing and ur like “???” and he keeps glaring at ur shirt like “what does he have against the tv show friends like he’s never heard abt it until now???” and it wasn’t until denki was like “yooo you watch friends? that show is so stupid i love it” that he settles down. from there on out you always find a way to translate your shirts for him

AND MUSIC don’t even get me started on music. you’re singing along so passionately and he’s like. “what are they singing abt i HAVE to know” so he’ll try to be sneaky and use his phone to translate stuff. if it’s a song abt a shitty ex he’ll have the most violent urge to fly to your home state and kill the ex who made you feel like this-but if it’s like megan thee stallion? my dude is sweating and blushing but pissed bc he’s sweating and blushing and basically long story short kirishima goes up to talk to him and gets blasted in the face.

he watches all your favorite movies and tv shows (subtitles on) and he will never admit it but he loves when you whisper the translations in his ear.

another thing that peaks his curiosity is you’re friends from home! america is 14 hours behind tokyo…so talking to ur friends from home can cause difficulties. when it’s late at night the class will see you furiously texting your friends bc it’s morning time for them. sometimes on weekends you guys are able to call, so if you’re ever on call walking into the kitchen for a snack bkg is so curious as to what you and your friends would be talking abt. he always sneaks a peek and you best believe he learns all of your friends names and faces.

friend: “who was that hot guy that you were talking to?”

you: “huh? oh that’s katsuki, i told you abt him”

friend: “dude…you were totally giving him fuck me eyes”

you: “AYO DO NOT EVEN START WITH THAT SH-“

(he was looking at you with such passion and love in his eyes but ur just too dumb to see it)

you tend to crave a lot of american snacks and food, and sometimes bkg will go out to a special shop that has american shit and bring it to you.

“you wouldn’t fucking stop saying how much you wanted it so here take it nerd”

*you’re all teary bc like “omg he went out of his away to go across town to get me some stupid snacks omg im falling for him”*

you love cooking american foods/foods you grew up with for the class and you specifically yearn for bkg’s approval. you eventually learn about his love for cooking and he teaches you japanese dishes while you teach him the dishes you know. the two of you bonded so much while cooking together.

(this part is me venting so just bare with me okay) and god forbid you have a toxic ex in america that’s some fucking loser white boy bc bkg will rip that man to SHREADS. he has you cry laughing over all the insults he comes up with when you finally crack and show him a picture.

“he literally looks like a block of feta cheese yn, he looks like the type to trip on his own shoelaces. he definitely doesn’t read any higher than a ten year olds level-“

it actually ends with a sweet moment of him watching you laugh and when you two lock eyes he tells you that you deserve better, that you deserve someone who will actually treat you well. he scurries off after that bc he realizes he was too soft in that moment and you never stop thinking abt that.

eventually you get him to confess and start dating, obviously having to take it slow bc there’s no way bkg dated anyone before you. slowly figuring out everything that works for the both of you, the relationship is very loving and accepting.

bkg slowly learns all of your favorite songs and knows what they translate to. when you sing love songs to him not thinking he knows what they mean, he just smiles and says smth cheesy like “oh you must really like me huh?”

you of course teach him words in english and you try to tutor him in the language but he’s not the easiest person to teach to, especially a whole new language. but the couple of phrases you teach him are just for your sake so you can talk shit and include him in it, and he loves it so much.

(dw bc by the time he’s an adult he can speak english and his accent is SO cute and you love it so much bc everything he does is so amazing)

when the two of you get older you are able to bring him home! he meets all of your friends and family, even tho he’s literally the most nervous you’ve ever seen him. he knows english by this time but he keeps overthinking it so much, and once he’s surrounded by a bunch of people who’s first language is english he messes up a couple of times and sometimes messes up translations. he gets so mad at himself but you are able to talk him down and tell him not to be so hard on himself.

you bring him to all of your favorite restaurants and areas, shopping included. he wants to know everything about where you grew up, hoping it will somehow grow the two of you even closer to each other. once you’re in public and at restaurants you still insist on speaking japanese since that was the language the two of you used when you fell in love, and even tho you guys get weird stares you refuse to switch. bkg also enjoys it bc when it’s the two of you speaking japanese it’s like you two are in your own little world, like you two really do belong together.

but also you guys shit talk in japanese so. much. like it’s not even funny. if you have family members that you dislike, you better believe you’re whispering in his ear all about it catching him up on family lore when he meets all of your family.

that’s all i can think of rn, but god. i’m obsessed.

[yanderes-galore]

Hi! Can I request a romantic yandere concept for Vox with Singer! Darling? The Vees already control fashion and entertainment industries, so Vox looking to expand isn't too far-fetched.. Seems like a fun idea. With him visiting his darling when she practices singing her new song or.. threatening her to let him listen to her voice once again or else she'll lose her job.

Or him kicking and giggling like a schoolgirl when he listens to love songs because he thinks she sings abt him lmao

OMFG I am so excited to do this one as I can see him assuming your songs are about/for him. Did female due to the pronouns used in the ask. Let me know if there's any formatting issues. Tumblr likes to do that.

Yandere! Vox with Singer! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Mature themes, Delusional behavior, Stalking, Manipulation, Coercion, Soul contract, Mentions of ownership, Toxic relationships, General yandere themes, Violence, Murder, Blood, Possessive behavior, Forced relationship.

It only makes sense that Vox would want to branch out.

He and the other Vees control the TV/adult film entertainment industry and fashion industry.

Eventually the music industry should be included.

I love the idea of Vox falling for a singer he met at a bar or something.

You're a young singer just starting her career in Hell.

When Vox sees you, you're such a beautiful thing.

Your voice is almost too divine for Hell.

Like a siren he falls for you and thinks of a plan to have you under the control of the Vees.

He never thought too much about singing until he met you.

He doesn't give you a job immediately.

First, he decides he should "scope things out".

He watches your every performance, making sure every one of them is recorded to look at later.

He listens to your songs on repeat and definitely looks to see if you listened to any love songs.

Eventually Vox will approach you to speak.

You originally seem nervous, he's a known Overlord after all.

Yet Vox plays himself off as a friend.

He's no threat, dear!

He just wants to see what you have to offer.

Safe to say, your voice and looks get you a job with Vox and the Vees.

Vox wants to harness your voice, to hear you sing because he tells you to.

You become his little songbird, often asking Velvette to prepare your outfits when singing.

Said outfits are often colors that represent Vox, like blues accented with reds.

Despite the fact Vox likes to dress you up and listen to your voice, I imagine he's jealous of your other fans.

Now in terms of if he'd own your soul or not, that can happen.

At first there's no soul contract, just him paying and supporting you to sing so he can listen to all of your songs on repeat.

Vox may slowly fall in love with you when listening to the songs you sing.

I like to imagine he gives you love songs to sing, much to your confusion.

When asked about it he just says its "what the people want!"

In reality, it's what he wants as he records you singing the lyrics to listen to later.

He definitely giggles to himself while listening to your songs in private.

Vox is a very charismatic Overlord who likes to keep up appearances.

I can see him manipulating or coercing his little songbird into things.

After all... Don't you want to be famous?

He can make you a star, lovely... Just sign his contract.

He'd definitely coerce his singer obsession into a contract, wanting to own her soul on a pretty blue chain.

He appears at every practice you have, in fact you've never seen him miss one.

It's surprising to every demon there at first when Vox appears to watch you sing.

Although... once word gets out that Vox does indeed own your soul, they stop questioning it.

You're off the market now.

If you ever tried to neglect him, he'd definitely have a bit of a fit.

For example, maybe you're tired and mad at him... You tell him you have to skip a practice.

Well, maybe he'll let you skip a practice... But now you have to sing for him in private.

If you don't? Then he summons your chain and reminds you of just who you belong to.

He grins when you comply, singing cute little songs for him whenever he asks.

After all, this is your price for luxury.

At first you can deal with having to sing and dance for him.

Then he brings up something new.

Vox wants to make his claim over you known... He wants to be in a relationship with you.

You don't have much of a say, right?

He has control of your job and soul.

Even if you said no, he could easily just drag you around by that cursed electric blue chain.

Reluctantly you comply.

You become Vox's little songbird and lover.

He doesn't let Valentino anywhere near you and still allows Velvette to place you in cute dresses for shows.

If any other demon fan gets any ideas about you... Vox will deal with them.

He'll make it a message for others to know not to touch you.

You're his, his little songbird to adore.

Vox seems like he'd keep you on his lap or in a special little room.

You can even hear him listening to your songs, humming along as he works on something.

The other Vees may even get tired of it, leading to Vox to tell them off.

Every song you do is perfect in his eyes.

He even forces you to sing specific lyrics that vaguely imply you and him.

If your voice is feeling sore, he'll get whatever he can to soothe it.

It's not surprising if he interrupts a show to deal with a rival.

Maybe you're doing a meet and greet, only for Vox to drag away a demon who thought they could get too close to you.

You know better than to question the blood on his clothes.

Valentino often calls you Vox's pet due to the fact he owns your soul and calls you "songbird".

In reality, it does feel like you're a pet.

He has you on a leash, you listen to every order he gives, and you're used for his entertainment.

He's possessive, his touch tight and kisses rough when he has you in his arms.

He often praises you, calling you affectionate nicknames as he holds you close.

He doesn't care about PDA, in fact it probably just gets the message across.

By the time Vox has you, you don't just belong to the Vees, you belong to him...

Even if you tried to leave your job, you'd never leave him.

"Come on, Songbird! Sing another song for me... Sing a song about us, won't you~?"

[togenabi]

all my ghosts

megumi fushiguro x reader

♡—haunted by ghosts all your life, you find peace and quiet in megumi’s arms

word count♡— 1.5k

genre♡— fluff

content notes♡— reader sees ghosts, meet-cute, first date, ghosts are nosy and annoying, but megumi makes it ok, inspired by 'all my ghosts' by lizzy mcalpine

also on♡— ao3

author's note♡— this has been in my drafts for a while, and I decided to polish it up in time for halloween! not that this is anything spoopy, just standard fluff brought to you by yours truly. please enjoy!

‘That kid's looking at you!’

‘No he isn’t!’

‘Yes he is! Look, look!’

Closing your eyes in frustration, you exhale through your nose. Could these damn ghosts ever give you a break?

All you wanted was a midnight snack. That's what brought you to this convenience store (at this ungodly hour) in the first place.

You ignore the wispy forms of the ghosts that follow you around everywhere, picking up your favorite snacks and sweets. One in particular was blocking your way, so you swat at the air where they hovered.

‘Oh!’ The ghost exclaims in offense. ‘Why, I'd never!’

Now you've done it. All the spirits floating around suddenly get unbearably loud, complaining about how rude you are. Apparently, you're dreadful company. But that's hardly fair when you never asked for them to hang around.

You've always been able to see ghosts. It's been something you could do for as long as you could remember.

Your mother, having had the same ability, taught you how to ignore them and act like you can't notice them at all. It usually works, but everyone has their limits. Yours was when some ghosts insisted on changing the show on your TV every time they didn't like what you were watching.

You had burst out, yelling and complaining and making the fatal mistake of letting them know you were aware of their existence. How much you regret that day cannot be put to words.

Ever since then, you've always had two or three ghosts hovering around. Asking you to play a song they miss. Or google something. Or call their grandkids for them.

They eventually leave once they realize they won't be able to get anything out of you, but a ghost who left will let others know about a girl who can see them, and the cycle just keeps on repeating itself.

‘Look! It's true, that boy is looking at you!’ A persistent ghost blocks your view of the beverage shelves, wildly pointing and gesturing to your left. You tsk, but turn to look anyway.

He has dark hair and dark eyes, wearing a hoodie that looks incredibly comfortable. He's quite handsome, and the ghosts were right. He's looking at you.

When he realizes you're looking back at him, he averts his gaze. He covers his mouth with one hand and turns away, but you see the tips of his ears burn red.

Your heart feels like it skipped a beat. Flustered, you pretend to be curious about the drinks on display.

But it's too late. You can't focus.

The ghosts around you are eating it up, cheering and encouraging you to talk to him. Some even hover over to the boy to persuade him to approach you. This could not get any more embarrassing.

You risk another look at him. He's not looking at you anymore, but his expression surprises you yet again.

He's looking at where a ghost is floating beside him. Your heart stutters again when he squints at what should be nothing for him.

But it's not nothing. Can he see them too?

You've never met anyone else who could. Not outside your family, anyway. Maybe you should talk to him.

You take a step closer, and the ghosts disappear.

Alarmed, you turn this way and that, trying to make sense if they're pulling some orchestrated prank on you.

But they're all gone. Or at least, you can't hear them anymore. Especially not when the cute stranger is looking at you again.

“...Hi.” You greet him, still at a loss for words.

The boy nods, clearing his throat before he speaks, “Hey.”

You notice that the ghost he was staring at is gone too. Just what is going on here? 

“Sorry if that was weird of me.” You try to laugh off your nerves. “I thought I heard something.”

He blinks. “Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Must've been the wind.”

Ah, maybe he didn't see your ghosts after all. You're not sure if you're relieved or disappointed. “Yeah. Wind.”

With a hand rubbing the back of his neck, he introduces himself, “I’m Megumi.”

He repeats your name softly after you give it, and you hope he can't see how flustered you got. As you look down at your basket full of snacks, Megumi holds out a hand and offers to carry it for you.

Shyly, you walk together to the cashier. You let yourself smile and take in the peaceful silence, now that the ghosts aren't around. Something sweet is in the air, something sweeter than the smell of candy and soda.

You linger by the entrance once you've both paid. Megumi opens his mouth to speak, but stops when someone suddenly barges in.

The pink-haired boy urges him to hurry up. “Hey! Let's go! Everyone’s already there for movie night.”

Megumi is pulled along, though he stutters as he looks back at you. “W-Well...” He gives a small wave. “I hope I'll see you around.”

And the moment he steps out of the store, it's chaos again.

The ghosts reappear once more, chatting your ear off about how you didn't get his number. And for once in your life, you agree with them.

It should be impossible, but Megumi somehow cancels out your ability. You think you’re falling. You could kiss him. Maybe you should have gotten on one knee and proposed right there and then.

Before you can properly think about it, you’re running after them and pulling at Megumi’s sleeve. The spirits fade once you’re close to him again.

The last thing you heard from the ghosts was them cheering you on. It makes you smile as you ask, “Could I have your number?”

“For the last time,” You warn the wispy figures floating about your bedroom, “If you spied on Megumi prior to our date, I do not want to hear about it.”

‘But sweetheart,’ An elderly lady ghost pats your shoulder, unfazed that her fingers only pass through you. ‘You should have seen him, he was so nervous! He—’

“No, nope!” One hand holding your outfit, you use the other to point at the door. It’s more of a symbolic gesture, since they don't really need to use it to get out. “Please let me change alone. Thank you.”

The ghost of a young man hovers around you, scrutinizing your outfit choice. ‘If you really want to leave an impression, you should w—’

Thankfully, you're not the only one who finds him insufferable. The other spirits groan and drag him outside—sending you heart signs and thumbs ups as they leave.

Unfortunately, the restaurant Megumi wanted to take you to was closed. He was crestfallen, but you assured him that you were fine anywhere, as long as you were with him. You only realized how cheesy that sounded when he blushed and turned away.

You ended up buying food at the convenience store where you met, and walking a short distance to the park for an impromptu picnic.

Sprawled on the grass together, you take turns asking each other questions. You learn that his birthday is in December. He asks about your taste in music.

You could get used to this. To not hearing a dozen ghosts at your ear. Indeed, the sounds of the trees rustling, birds chirping, and Megumi laughing are a lot more preferable.

“My first impression of you?” Megumi hums, pouting in thought. “I don't know... It's a little embarrassing.”

“I won't judge you for it, I promise!” You insist, “Besides, I told you that I thought you were cute.”

He takes a deep breath, not meeting your eyes as he answers cautiously, “You know that broken light in the convenience store?”

You make a confused face and tilt your head. “...Yes?” Where is he going with this?

“I’ve always hated it. The uneven lighting makes my head hurt...” Megumi leans close to brush your hair away from your eyes. “But I swear, those poorly maintained fluorescent lights weren’t that awful when I first saw you… Because you were glowing, and you were so beautiful.”

Not expecting that kind of answer, you hide your face by leaning into his shoulder. Megumi lets out a breathy laugh, and you think you might hear his heartbeat. You immediately add it to the list of your favorite sounds. The trees. The birds. His laugh. His heartbeat.

When you get home later that evening, your ghosts rush to you, excited and giddy to hear about your date.

‘Did he not give you flowers?’ One ghost asks.

‘No one gives flowers on dates anymore.’

An older spirit gasps, ‘Oh dear. Back in my day—’

‘We don't want to hear about how your dates went a century ago.’ 

‘Yeah! We want to hear about our dearie and Megumi!’

‘How was it?! How was it?!’

Taking a deep breath, you practically melt into the couch.

“It was perfect.” You smile, and the ghosts swoon with you.

Funny how Megumi said the lights didn't seem so bad when you were there. You feel the same about all your ghosts; he makes it all so much better.

© togenabi 2023 | see here to be added to my taglist ♡

tags: @songsofadelaide @flowerjun @sweetexistentialism @mellozhi @ihaveanexistentialcrisis @msmisasoup @appalost @starszns @onebatch--twobatch @luccaaedd @hellyyy06 @isentsworld @justsomerandomwe31rdo @gunslxtz @lownna @akakaze

[dangerouslyknown]

Hiromi Higuruma Headcanons 🌻

A/N: Ughhh I have been having literally 0 motivation for writing, kind of like an art block. I wanna write so much but something just prevents me lmao... But this man, I swear. He just sparked my will to write and hopefully also work off the requests and one trade with a friend I have been working on. Also I just haaaad to get these out of my head

Contents/warnings: Random general headcanons, relationship headcanons & NSFW headcanons. I am just writing about "his S/O" and referring to S/O with they/them. Doesn't contain spoilers from JJK story, just Higuruma and his existence

General headcanons

He listens to Modern Talking. Don't ask where this comes from, I just feel like he'd like their music. Also somehow I was thinking he'd like Bon Jovi, too? He isn't like a crazy fan for either of them, just likes various of their songs. Could see him listening instrumental music as well, like game/movie soundtracks

Surprisingly enough he isn't a huge drinker. He enjoys an alcoholic drink every now and then to refresh, but he knows his limits. He knows when it feels good and when it goes overboard

He doesn't have visible muscles for the most part, I'd like to think him having a bit of body fat which hides them. My man is an attorney, he hasn't been focusing in training or being physically fit all that much. He does like to keep himself in decent shape though, because healthy body equals a healthy mind

He's not tall per se, more like average height, definitely under 180 centimeters

He's a minimalist. He doesn't have anything "extra" in his apartment, just the necessities

Speaking off, his wardrobe probably isn't huge either. Maybe a basic suit or two, so he can wash the other and still have the other one wearable. Otherwise his wardrobe is filled with mostly casual comfortable clothes. He values practical clothes, too

If he ends up having time to play games, he'd definitely mostly be into single player, story focused games. Not into fps games. One of his favorites are, funny enough, Ace Attorney games (he also likes the soundtrack)

SFW relationship headcanons

He doesn't strike me as a person who would be into dating all that much, but if he finds so called a right person, he might consider it. He doesn't really sleep around with lots of people either

He values the personality of a person more than looks. Forming an emotional and a mental bond is what matters him the most when it comes to a relationship

He doesn't even have a type, really. He thinks he is capable of finding anyone attractive if their personality hits him

And while we are at it, I bet he would love to have conversations with his S/O about anything. He'd love to discuss anything, silly to serious to deep thoughts with the right person. He wants to hear his S/Os thoughts and share his own

He'd also love to have playful, sarcasm filled banters/debates with his S/O

Either quality time or physical touch are his love languages

Quality time, because he is often doing long days and working a lot so he might not be around as much as he'd like. But when he finally is around his S/O, no matter what they do, he is going to be very happy. He likes to do the most basic, mundane things together with his S/O. Having breakfast, watching TV, showering together, cooking together, sitting together in the same room...

And what comes to physical touch, he just loves to get touchy with his S/O and most of the time not even in a sexual way. It is like a way to make up for all the time he hasn't been around. All the little touches and kisses he exchanges with his S/O makes him feel so loved

Oh, and one thing he'd absolutely love is to get a massage from his S/O. He would literally melt to their touch

(NSFW under the cut)

NSFW relationship headcanons

I think he is pretty vanilla... But he is very open to try new things and kinks for his S/O and for his own curiosity. He'd also be pretty gentle overall, but he loves his sex passionate, with an intimate, personal feel to it

He is a heavy switch when it comes to dynamics. He can top, he can bottom. But I have a feeling he'd have a tiny little submissive side in the sheets. He isn't opposed to being dominative either, but like I said, he is mostly vanilla so these kind of dynamics aren't exactly what he desires in the sheets

He prefers to do all the sexy stuff mostly in somewhere private, only him and his S/O... but he can't deny that he has thought of taking them in his office. Something about the though of him fucking them on his desk turns him on

He would definitely love having sex with clothes (mostly) on. First of all, he can be a bit tired after long days (and lazy, too) but, like, just having his dick out of his fly... or both of his and his S/Os pants just slightly lowered. It's all just so hot for him

Oh, and he'd love to fuck his S/O anywhere (privately). On the floor, on the sofa, against a wall. He isn't picky, he just wants to feel good

I still feel like bed is his to-go, because he is often tired to do anything extreme and it's just overall more comfortable to get down to business in the sheets

Previously mentioned that his love language is physical touch which applies to this aspect too. Sex is also a part of that for him. Sex is also a way for him to feel deeply connected with his S/O, physically and emotionally

Sex with his S/O is his favorite stress relieving method

I'll say it: I never thought he'd have a big cock. Recently, I came across Kyo-00´s Headcanons of the dicks of JJK men, and I agree on her take of Higuruma. I had previously thought he'd be more like average sized or so

He doesn't need to have a huge cock though, because he knows how to use what he has. He also has his mouth, his nose and his hands to make one pleased

This could probably go without saying, but he loves when his S/O shows him that he is desired and cared for. He would get so excited if his S/O initiated intimacy and slid their hand to his pants to play with his still limp dick, stroking it while giving his neck and face soft kisses all over... (Consensually, of course. He isn't always in the mood for that stuff either) Anyhow, that just sends a message to him which turns him on. Who would even want to have sex with someone who doesn't seem into it?

I believe he wouldn't want kids, so he 100% would get a vasectomy especially if his S/O is a afab/female so there isn't a need to worry about pregnancy

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

Dating Natalie Scatorccio Headcanons <3

She's literally my wife!! I eat these up btw.

I feel like she's like very protective but never possessive. Like she isn't clingy most of the time but if you're like "hey babe that guy's being weird" she's got her arm around you and doesn't let you out of her sight

She tries her damn best not to sexualize you because of the way she'd been treated in the past

But she does love a good low-cut top (who doesn't tbh)

She's totally into you like stealing her necklaces and earrings. She pretends to be pissed but secretly she thinks you look so cool

She also bought a sweatshirt that was wayyy too big for her specifically for you to steal. She acts like she didn't buy it for you but you know she did and you appreciate the sentiment

Natalie definitely steals your t-shirts and sweatshirts. Like you lend one to her to sleep in ONE TIME and soon enough you have to go out and essentially buy a new wardrobe

I wouldn't say she's shy about your relationship, but she isn't like screaming from the rooftops about it

Like the entire team didn't know you were together for months

Speaking of, she's a PDA hater. Like the most she'll do is lean on your shoulder in front of anyone she knows (she has a reputation!!)

Not to say she isn't WHIPPED though because you know she's down bad

Like all over you whenever you're alone. She's just a very private person.

Omg omg omg

Smoking with her

Totally imagining that you've never smoked before and she like teaches you how to roll one and you're like "she's so hot"

AND THEN

SHE LIKE CUPS YOUR FACE AS SHE LIGHTS IT and your brain short-circuits

"You good, pretty girl" and you're just silent and she's like "babe" "I'm fine." "You sure" "yup"

She's worried she broke you for a second

She also def does your makeup in her little emo bitch way but you kinda live for it

Sometimes you do hers too

Once you gave her like pink sparkly eyeshadow and she wore it to a party and everyone thought she was dying

She pulled it off though

Nicknames are a must. Like not only does she find a way to give you like 10 nicknames based on your real name, she also calls you shit like "pretty girl" and "princess"

Half the time though they're only used to make fun of you

Which she does all the time

Like she loves to tease you

Cannot be serious to save her life

But if you're sad she's like "what's wrong how do I help what do you want me to do"

And immediately you're like "🥰🤭" because how can you be upset when your girlfriend is right there being that sweet

Although sometimes when it's particularly shitty, you just like bury your head in her neck and she's like "😶😳" but she pretends to be so chill about it even though you literally feel her pulse speed up

Constantly complementing you. Like one time you said something like "idk I don't feel pretty :(" and then every time she sees you look in the mirror for too long or like trace your stretch marks she's like "you're so pretty baby" or "pretty girl" or "gorgeous"

Speaking of the stretch marks

She loves them. Like you wear a cropped shirt and she jus stares

For a while you were like "oh she hates them" until one day she just started absentmindedly tracing them and you realized she thought they were gorgeous

She also def kisses them any chance she gets. Like yall are just watching TV and she's lying on your stomach and she just gives one a little kiss

Using your thighs as a pillow >>>>>

Like she just lies on them and you play with her hair

Which she loves

Like you French braid it one time for a game and she now asks you to do it every day

And who are you to say no

MIXTAPES or if it's more modern she makes playlists

Like one for every major event with a mix of her fave songs and yours

I also think she's clumsy asf

Like constantly covered in random bruises and scrapes

And since she's pale as hell the bruises are so prominent

She can't drive. Like she's such a passenger princess

And if she could drive you wouldn't want her to

You help her paint her nails

Once you have her sparkles on the middle finger and she thought it was funny as hell

I think she's surprisingly a good cook

Like yall never go out for dates because she likes cooking for you and you like watching her

Like that's the only time she's not clumsy

She attempts to learn Italian but only remembers curse words and like pet names

And you don't really know which is which because she didn't tell you

She never yells when she's upset. She doesn't want to be her dad

Like any disagreement is a decently civil conversation

I mean there's a lot of cursing and angry tones but it's not a fight. It's a disagreement

She was very worried to meet your friends but they all love her

And she was also worried for you to meet her friends. Not because she thought you wouldn't like them or they wouldn't like you but because she was worried you'd be uncomfortable

But you like the whole team and they've never made you feel weird

Van constantly teases her about you though

I feel like Nat isn't much of a reader but she loves listening to you talk about books. And if you read to her? Oh it's over

She loves listening to you in general tbh. I think she's not a huge talker but you just yap on and on and she's just listening so intently

But when she does want to talk about something... you hang from her lips like nothing else matters

Her voice is like such a weakness to you and she knows it

When she needs reassurance she's horrible at saying so but she gets kind of quiet

After a while you just started pulling her in for hugs or kisses or whatever because she's such a physical touch girlie

And she melts every time

I also feel like she never initiates kisses but she loooves taking charge of them

Can you tell I'm insane for her yes or no

[lillie98]

Beauty in the Fold (SPOILERS)

I saw The Outsiders (Broadway version) over the weekend and I have so many thoughts. I've never read the book (I will) or seen the movie, but I completely fell in love with the story. I knew Johnny and Ponyboy had a special friendship, but watching Johnny die and seeing Ponyboy (who was an incredible understudy) absolutely shatter nearly broke me. He sat parked in front of their small tv, silent and motionless, save for turning the tv back on when Darry turned it off. I don't blame Darry for turning it off, he wanted Pony to break out of his catatonia, but Pony needed more than tough love. He needed something to ground himself. He needed to feel Johnny near him again. Receiving Johnny's vest from Cherry (which was a nice touch) gave him the physical closure he needed in an incredibly vulnerable moment. He buried his face in the material and breathed in Johnny's scent, realizing how much he missed it. You could see the weight lifting off his shoulders. I forget how much time the brothers say had passed before that moment, but my gut says two weeks. Ponyboy hasn't physically touched anything relating to Johnny for two whole weeks, and they most likely spent every day together. The book also hints that Johnny would spend nights with the Curtis brothers when his house became too volatile. These boys were brothers. Losing Johnny felt like losing a family member.

Stay Gold was obviously heartbreaking, but also beautifully staged. Johnny starting from across the stage and slowly making his way over as Ponyboy acknowledges him was a perfect demonstration of their relationship in this moment. Ponyboy tried to move on by himself, but he needed one more moment with Johnny. The letter gave him that moment. He needed to know Johnny didn't blame him for what happened at the fountain or the church---that his best friend would do everything the same way if given the option because brothers protect each other, even with their lives. Seeing the two boys slide onto the car in synch felt like Johnny was Pony's guardian angel, his shadow, guiding him through this moment. We see Johnny walk into the sunset (of his life) at the end of the song, but we also see Ponyboy rejoin his brothers at the table and eat dinner with them, symbolically beginning his healing journey. These are the stories we need right now. We need to see people, especially young people, endure tremendous heartbreak and overcome insurmountable odds and make it to the other side. We need to see that, given the right support system, anyone can heal.

I imagine Pony, after that day, wakes up extra early in the mornings and goes to the park to watch the sunrise. He writes letters, stories, and poems about his life. He also talks to Johnny. There's never anyone else around now that the Greasers rule the park, and they all understand Pony's ritual, so he speaks out loud to Johnny. He tells him about his life, their friends, and what all happens in Tulsa. Talking to Johnny heals him, makes him feel less gone. He talks to Dally too, but not as often. Their relationship is complicated. Ponyboy describes every sunrise, though he's sure Johnny sees them all. He continues this ritual into college and beyond, always making time for the boy who gave everything for him. It takes some bartering with the police, but Ponyboy also gets Johnny's knife, which he never cleans, afraid to wash away the memories embedded in it. The healing process is slow and arduous, but Ponyboy does eventually heal and create a life for himself, bringing his best friend along every step of the way.

[killersfool]

hiiii i’ve a wee fluff imagine idea for bobby!! : )

bobby and the reader live together in a flat in dublin and the reader goes to trinity uni to study english literature (or smt else that has like a lot of reading and essay writing anol that craic) and she’s falling behind in a lot of her assignments and it’s all piling up and she’s just all overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to cope.

she ends up breaking down into sobs or shutting down at random points in the day due to stress and rob hasn’t got a clue what’s wrong and keeps noticing these random break downs throughout the week.

basically he comforts reader and helps to organise herself and just all fluffy cute comfort fic <333

If I could flip back time, bend the seconds and go back three years ago, I would do it right now.

Pile after pile of flashcards, annotated books with pastel post-it notes shooting out of the sides, folders of Irish poetry I can hardly understand, tattered photocopies of Hozier lyrics, every work of Shakespeare staring at me from my overcrowded booksheld — dusty, messy, probably even dank. Miss Carter has decided to set three more assignments onto my workload for the week. An essay on crime fiction (I haven't even read the first book on the reading list), my creative writing portfolio and then another essay analysing a piece poetry of my choice. Reading and highlighting Hozier's lyrics of 'I, Carrion (Icarian)' is the only thing keeping me going. Phoebe Bridgers blasts through my ears. It's quarter to 11. I need a break. An early night would be nice. Or TV. But do I really want to sit next to Robert whilst he watches his weird YouTube videos?

I kick my table. Not out of anger. Not out of irritation. I just want to see all of my notes topple ontp the floor. They do. Then I'm kicking the table three more times. Or maybe eight. All my flashcards are on the carpeted  floor, next to my discarded, empty packet of pinballs. I'd stolen them from Robert's stash. He'll never find out.

Climbing over my pile of unread books by my doorway, I push open the door. It squeaks. Some oiling would be nice. Trinity college really provides the best for their students! 

I still wish my roommate was also doing English, someone to bond with over shared trauma, to gossip about our nightmarish teachers and fellow students. But no, this guy is doing a degree in bloody mathematics. The complete dichotomy of English. No similarities. No way of comparing the courses to eachother. Him and his terrifying videos that he watches with his shoes up on the armrest, cheek in his open palm, drinking a cup of tea. Like it's that simple. Numbers and sin, cos, tan and circle theorems and whatever tragic nonsense is being spouted in his lectures.

He hardly speaks to me. Three years together and I barely know him. Sometimes I tag along with him when he goes out for breakfast. Once every two weeks. Sunday morning. We talk about school, about friends, about anything that pops in our heads. Yesterday we spoke about music. He originally wanted to pursue a career in music. A band. But they didn't work out. He took a gap year to pursue this group. So he's a year older than all of the other third years. He doesn't let that faze him. When he told me stories about his band, 'Inhaler', I had to lose eye contact, look down at the pink marshmellos floating about in my cup. He looked lost. This wasn't the place for him. He missed the confidence upon stage, the ability of making something out of nothing. Life is unfair. That is when I realised it. Hearing about shattered dreams and names of songs that were never produced.

I also realise life is unfair right now, as I accidentally bang my hip onto the kicthen island, the knife-like corner lodging itself into my skin. It's like the world is against me. 

Sometimes I wonder if Robert thinks I'm an idiot. I feel like I'm an idiot when I walk past his bedroom, hunched over his laptop, headphones on as he works through the most difficult maths questions I've ever encountered in my life. He makes university seem easy. Has his allocated times for study, going out with friends, the gym, practicing bass, going though record shops, meals, watching TV. Everytime he gets home, he drops his things down in the kitchen. I sneak a glance at the big green 'A*' on all of his test papers. I look up to him. His intelligence, his masterful management of time. I'm always too frightened to ask him how he does it. He'll think I'm stalking him. 

Me, on the other hand, I waste time. I don't have balance. I never have time to be with my friends. Always locked up in my room. A prisoner. Essay after essay. Poem after poem. Book after book. A constant cycle I've been in for three whole years. The stress is weighing down on me like a hundred bags of bricks. I need to stop for a second. To breathe in. To calm down.

So I do the last thing I would normally do. I go into the living room and sit beside Robert on the sofa. He's half asleep, jeans cuffed, hair all over his face. He sees me walk in, glances up, eyes big and speculting. He instantly moves his spindly, spider-like legs from the armrest to give me some space. I can hear some sort of maths video playing on the TV. I'm scared. At least it's not English. I'm immune to maths. It doesn't affect me anymore. Whatever logorhythmic scale this American YouTube man is yapping about isn't making my face contort at all — it's like sorcery.

This could be a way of winding down. Maths. I'm calmer now. No changes of focus or narrowing of perspective. No pathetic fallacy or magical realism. Just messes of words that don't really make sense at all.

"'D'you want to watch TV? I can turn this off if you want." Robert has his thumb on the home button.

"Leave it on. I just need a moment."

He dubiously puts the remote back down. He yawns, stretching out his arms and leaning back. I hate it when boys do that. With his parted, manspreaded legs, adams apple bobbing, head rolled back. It's idiotic. Completely idiotic. He doesn't seem too intrigued by Mr American man. The video is a guy next to a whiteboard writing millions of brain-numbing equtions. Robert is nodding along. I think I'm going to cry. I don't know why I want to right now. My hip is actually starting to throb and ache. I look down at my jeans. There's a hole in them. There's blood. It's wet. I hadn't noticed before. It's properly pouring out blood.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I exclaim, hand pressing down onto the cut through my jeans.

Robert swiftly nears me. He's looking at me up and down, hands trying to find a place to move to. It's dark in the room. He reaches for the lamp switch. "What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm bleeding. Jesus christ. That kills. Fuck me."

He passes me his jacket and says, "Apply some pressure." 

Then he runs out of the room. Fast as a plane. A man on a mission. Long curls dancing to the rhythm of his steps. Mr American man won't shut up about algebraic expressions. He's got a really bald head. Glimmering. 

Robert is back. He has bandages. I don't know where he got those from. Antiseptic wipes, plasters, sweets, even a cup of tea. He was only gone for about five seconds. How did he manage to get all of that? He hands me the cup of tea and sweets whilst asking, "What happened?"

"I walked into the island like an eejit. I'm so feckin' stupid."

"Just breathe, okay. You're not an eejit. I do that every day." 

I have to unzip my jeans to let him check the cut. Which is awkward, to say the least. He's looking at me like a doctor — not really caring about seeing my skin — but I'm still so shy around him. He sees me struggle with the button. He undoes it, fingers coming in contact with mine. They're slender. So very perfect for the bass guitar. Then he's unzipping my jeans. Only the tiniest bit. A mere centimetre of my knickers appear out of the top. Any more than that and I'd be flush as a tomato. I've always had a little crush on Robert. Being stuck with a really smart bass guitarist with the dreamiest eyes for three years is enough to make a person fall. The reason I've been avoiding him lately has been due to that fact. I don't want to make it obvious.

He finds the cut. It's bled through my knickers, making a big blot of dark red. He pulls down the waistband of my pants, prepared to wipe the wound. I have to grind my teeth together to prevent a sob from escaping me. I'm crying. Stressed and hurt and just wanting to dissolve into nothing. The cold draft of wind isn't improving the situation. If only there was no such thing as coursework and I couldn't glide my way through university like Robert. 

More and more blood. I think I might pass out. The blue-eyed boy is knelt down on the floor, knees biting into the carpet so that he can properly see where to put the bandage. 

"So how's English going?" He's not looking at me. Only at the wound. I don't think he's noticed that I'm crying. I don't want him to. I cover my face with bloody hands, accidentally smearing the metallic substance onto my nose. 

I don't know what to say. Do I tell him how much I regret picking it? Do I make this already awkward situation about ten times worse? I hate when people pity me. I hate when I feel like eyes are lingering for far too long when I cry. But when Robert looks at me, it's different. The pools of serenity circling his iris aren't looking down at me with a sort of aristocracy. That's how my English peers stare me down. No, instead, he's looking at me like there's a billion questions rushing across his forehead. He just needs to decide which one to ask. Or to simply say nothing. Like I am. We've both learnt how to cohabit in silence. To walk past eachother and ignore the feathers of conversation falling between us. We're busy. Always busy. Except for those perfect Monday mornings that I always look forward to. Especially the one time when he showed me around his favourite record store. He had asked me to choose him a record to buy. I walked through the entire shop, fingers shifting records, reading unfamiliar artist names. Then, I saw it, the — now bane of my existence — Hozier's 'unreal unearth'. He bought it. He'd told me he only really knew 'Take Me To Church'. I'd leant against the till as he paid and said, 'it'll change your life.' Then he'd locked himself in his room. Through the ever so thin walls — paper thin — I could hear each track hum into my room. I never got the chance to talk to him about the album. I think the thought of bringing it up made me feel sick — due to the English essay upstairs still waiting patiently to be finished.

Now there is an excuse. To talk. I'm injured. I don't want to move. He's still attempting to wrap a bandage over my stomach, then across my back until it's around my torso. I feel his fingers graze my skin with every subtle movement, along my spine, the small of my back, my abdomen, my hip bone. He's still looking at me. Searching. Like I'm a new island and he's an explorer trying to name me.

"What's up, sweetheart?" He finally talks again. His words are throaty, emananting from the pits of his throat. He's still wrapping, waiting for an answer.

"Just college. You know. It's killing me."

He shakes his head. "You're so smart."

"Says you."

He shakes his head. "Look, this might be a bit weird but sometimes when you leave random essays lying around or even creative writing. I read them. They're incredible. Your mind just works in such an interesting way."

I'm at a loss for words. He reads those? Those are usually just failed attempts that I toss aside. Scrap paper. Strange drawings. I don't even want to look at them.

"You get top grades in every test," I sigh. "I'm barely passing. I'm the worst in the class. My professors hate me, I've got so much work, I'm falling behind in every assignment—"

Then I'm properly crying. Sobbing. Breathing so heavily I think I might collapse. Heaving. Sniffling. Covering my face so he can't see me. I'm like a child. Pathetic. Stupid. Worthless. I was never good enough for Trinity. Why did they let me in?

Warm arms, press of skin. Just above the wound, over my chest, arms dig into my body, hugging me from behind. Head burrowing onto my shoulders, knees into the sofa. His lips ghost the back of my neck. Tears are falling down. He turns me around to face him. I hate how he's seeing me like this. My cries are usually saved for when he's out with friends or blasting music on his record player. He's never seen me this vulnerable, just utterly ripped into shreds by the hands of life. His scent is making me feel better, the tissue now on my cheek makes me feel better, the quiet words of 'breathe, let it all out, it's okay' make me feel better. He's calming me down. I start to forget what I was even crying about when I look into his eyes. This intense eye contact. Remembering his height. Even sat down, his torso is far longer than mine.

"I've got an idea," he murmurs, peeling his body away. I miss the warmth. I miss the touch. 

"What is it?"

"We should go somewhere. Get out for a bit. Say it's a 'mental health field trip'." He curls his fingers to accentuate the apostrophes."Maybe down to the Cliffs of Moher. When you're all healed up of course."

"Give me a week."

"A week? I'll be the judge of that." He raises an eyebrow, now tying up the bandage.

"Where did you learn all this?"

"I'm actually first aid trained. Did it in my first week of uni." He takes a deep breath, settles back onto the sofa. 

I take a sip of my tea. My eyes are surely blotchy and red. I bet there's mascara all over my face. "Thank you so much."

"No problem at all. Do you want to tell me what's going on? Is there any way I can help?" He's referring to my school work. "I was alright at English in high school. No where near as good as you are. But maybe another opinion might help you."

"I'm really stuck on a Hozier analysis."

"I never told you how much I love that album. It's perfect." His eyes glow like they do when he's talking about something he loves. Usually it's caused by talking about playing bass, but right now it's due to the beauty of Hozier's music. "I learned the bass line of De Selby part two."

"Show me. Now." I don't even ask. It's simply a demand. Anything to take my mind away from that cut still bleeding profusely. A little concert would be nice. Especially if said concert involves watching Robert play bass. I sometimes peek through the crack in the doorway to see him sat down on his bed, pick between his index and thumb, bass guitar on his lap, headphones over his ears. The pure concentration on his face is unparalleled. Notes thrum quietly through the room. He falls into any piece of music.

"Alright." He laughs at my enthusiasm. "Then I'll help with your English."

"Thanks." This is probably the most I've ever spoken to him. I'm mumbling each word, not wanting to look into his eyes.

He disappears once again. This time I hear the thudding footsteps over creaky floorboards. I hear a door squeak open, the faint patter of rain upon the ceiling, the quiet murmur of distant sirens as night blooms. It's tranquil. For a moment, I'm at peace. Until I remember the stack of unread books in my bedroom. I groan into my hands. Everything just keeps getting worse and worse and—

He's back. Not empty handed. Bass in one hand, Hozier lyrics and my pencil case in the other.

"I emailed your professor about the trip. I'm sure she'll be okay with it." He's off again. He comes through the door with his amp and lead. He plugs both in. 

"You're a life saver, Rob," I say.

He starts twisting around the knobs on the bass. Volume up. Then he's tuning. He smiles up at me. I think I'm staring. I think he can tell. His long fingers, tattoos, rings. It's all too much. My fingers are restlessly tapping the armrest. My legs are up on the coffee table. He pulls out his phone and plays the song. Then I'm lost in the music. His eyes are closed as he slides his fingers up and down the neck of the bass, as he stomps his feet down on the carpet to every drum beat. If only I could go back to the days I'd go to concerts every day. If only I could go back and see 'Inhaler' on a world tour, watch Robert from the crowd, completely in his element. Exhilarated, chanting, knowing every lyric like it's my mother tongue. Sometimes I wonder what life could've been like if the band had worked out. If the world did realise just how incredible they are. But, here, appreciating each pluck of every string, the grin as he watches me. I can't take that for granted. 

[hotxcheeto]

Hi!! Could you do a Ellie x female!reader and reader is Ellie’s best friend and she is with Ellie when she goes with Joel and it’s basically them traveling all the way to Wyoming but the closer they get there the more the reader realizes that she likes Ellie. Sorry if it’s confusing

━ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄, 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, fluff, slight angst in third flashback, happy ending, ellie being a little jealous

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - ily ty for requesting!! so sorry I took so long, but y'know me :)

*Italics = The past

☼ PART TWO ☼

Laying awake at night was normal for the both of you.

Especially as adults. You'd learned to never take the peace for granted.

Another night in the dark with the TV quietly playing, Ellie messing with your shirt hem while her fingertips tickled your hip. Your head resting on her chest while you drifted in and out of sleep.

Her eyes were focused forward on the movie that you'd gotten bored with, your mind melting as you fought with your eyes trying your best to keep them open.

But your mind kept wandering back to someone as you did.

You had known her for so long, and so much had changed.

Many people say that no matter what happens, friendships stay the same. But they don't, yours didn't, yours became more, but sometimes they do stay the same. And a lot of times they become less.

You must of been one of the lucky ones.

Time passes and people change, and you were sure that you and Ellie had. You knew you had, because looking back at those girls you were before weren't the women you were now.

You'd never be those kids again, not exactly. You could still see them within both of yourselves, but it would never be the past, and you guys weren't in the future. It was now, the present, the time in which you got to remember what had happened and think about what could happen.

You liked to think about how you got here, Ellie never really cared to, she liked to laugh at memories once in a while. But you looked passed those. You looked at everything. You remembered most of it.

Oh how simple the time, you thought.

How simple the mission.

Nothing was simple then, you weren't sure you even knew what that word meant as a kid.

"Do you really think there's a cure?"

You asked her quietly, still unsure of Tess and Joel's belief in Ellie's bite. Looking over at your bestfriend, you noticed her staring at the ground. The girl shrugging while looking up at the dark and decrepit buildings that surrounded your group of four.

"There's gotta be, right?" "What if they're lying?" "Then fuck them."

Tess and Joel glanced back at you both, watching your shoulders brush from walking too close. Your eyes were scanning the area for danger while hers admired the nature.

But neither of you strayed far from the other.

"I know you don't trust the fireflies and you know I don't either, but a little optimism won't kill you." You giggled at her song-like way of speaking, shaking your head.

"Everything out here can kill you."

Tess smiled at you both, looking forward as to not get caught listening in on your conversation. But she didn't stop, Joel catching her glancing back every now and again.

"Whoa, look." Ellie then tugged on your arm making you look up at the two nearly collapsed buildings you'd been approaching, but now they were directly above you.

The sight made you a bit queasy, looking at them haphazardly leaning against each other.

"That's so fucking cool." "What if they fell?" Tess snickered, turning to meet Joel's eyes with a smile. "They won't Y/n/n, you walking through here isn't gonna magically make them collapse."

"I have bad luck." You huffed.

"I know, that's why you have me." Playfully, you shoved her shoulder, following the adults into an area that led to the building.

"Are you gonna save me from the falling skyscraper?"

"Yep."

"My knight in shining armor."

You spoke sarcastically, entering the falling framework that made noise when you all began to walk.

"It's unstable, but it won't fall or at least I hope." He mumbled the last part to himself, but you heard it, and it didn't make you feel better.

"Just be careful where you walk." Joel finished off, turning his flashlight on. "I hate this already." You muttered, accidentally bumping into him from stumbling due to your nerves.

"Sorry." "You're fine, just watch where you're going."

Tess then laid a comforting hand on your shoulder, Ellie watching from just behind.

"Try not to overthink the noises, these buildings are old. They like to tell you, just like an old man likes to tell stories." You laughed, watching her walk off like she's done this a thousand times, and in your mind she probably had.

"You okay?" You walked forward, turning to Ellie. "Yeah, just... I really hate this-" The building shifted, desks rolling further down hill then they already had, fear entering your heart while you squeezed Ellie's a arm that you'd grabbed in a panic.

"Oh fuck me- fuck." You let go, taking in a deep breath.

"Sorry." "Don't be, I'm pissing my pants." You let out a strangled noise that resembled amusement.

"No way, you don't look scared, like, at all." "Yeah, no way, this thing starts screaming again I might freak the fuck out."

She wasn't scared, not like she'd made it seem, but watching you let out a breath of relief and a chuckle was enough for her to keep up the charade.

"Here, if it makes you feel better." You looked at her outstretched hand, taking it with almost no hesitance. Butterflies in your stomach but you were sure it was because you were embarrassed, looking into her eyes that showed assurance.

"I'm so lame, Ellie." She snorted. "So am I."

You never noticed her blush because of the darkness, not even now did you know that the entire time you went through that place, Ellie was internally dying.

You still hated tall buildings like that though, that was something you did know and that never changed, something about them gave you a feeling you hated.

Not from the outside, it was the inside that made you worry. But Jackson was basically flat, the tallest buildings outside of the watch towers were maybe three stories, and those were rare.

You smiled to yourself, Ellie's hand having let go of your shirt and moved to fully rest on your hip. Her palms cold compared to your warm skin covered by the comforter and the fabric of your top.

The building on the screen then exploded making you think again, shifting so that you were fully sprawled across her body. Closing your eyes at this point while the flames of the screen turned the room bright orange.

Loud boom after loud boom, it was kind of strange knowing a lot of the noises resembled those of your young life. How they sounded so fake on screen because you knew in actuality if someone was so close to that many bombs they'd be deaf by now.

Or at least close to it.

"Ever wonder how they survive all that?" Ellie muttered, hugging you tight against her body. "Read my mind." You smiled, a hum coming from her mouth.

"Reminds me of Bill." You grinned this time, sitting up and looking at her. "I wonder what he's up to nowadays." "Probably being his same old pissy self." Ellie said in annoyance, ignoring the fact that you'd found her comments funny.

"I wish he would've came with us. As weird as he was." "Yeah, cause the people here would've loved him." You squeezed her cheeks together, kissing her lips.

"I wouldn't complain too much Ells, you kind of remind me of him." Ellie scoffed, staring at you in disbelief. "Tell me you're fucking around." "I dunno, you give me doomsday prepper vibes. In your olden age, I could see you being a paranoid basement dweller."

Ellie grabbed the back of your head, forcing you to lay back down while listening to your laughter. Fighting back a smile on her own face.

"I'll still love you, don't worry." "Yeah, sure." "I'm serious!"

Bill, you remembered Bill. Who wouldn't?

Basement dweller Bill, it's most likely what he was before, you couldn't blame him though. If anyone was right, it was Bill, surprisingly.

The town was pretty incredible, all that work shown off in places most wouldn't see in time. But Joel could, it's like he knew right where he'd find each one.

Leaving was both a relief and a pain.

Hell, all to get a truck battery, but it shortened the trip so you didn't huff and puff too much. You rarely huffed and puffed at all actually, Ellie always surprised at how calm you were when you were pissed off or frustrated.

"Now your "friend" might be missing this tonight." You glanced over, seeing something you still wish you hadn't. Smacking your hands over your eyes.

"Now, Ellie that ain't for kids." "Whoa! That thing is huge! Y/n/n, look! How does he walk around with that thing?" "Get rid of that." Joel reached back but Ellie dodged him, nearly hitting you with the magazine. "Hold your horses, I just wanna see what all the fuss is about."

Ellie looked over at you, cackling at your reaction.

"El, that's so gross. Throw that away." "What? You don't find him sexy?" She shook it at you, making you shake your head. "Absolutely not. Ellie I swear to God, throw that away or we're never gonna be friends again."

"Alright, alright. Oh, why are these pages stuck together?" You gagged, slapping her side as you knew she understood exactly why.

But you had to admit, hearing him try to stutter out a response made you snort. Covering your face while looking at Joel trying to avoid a glance backwards in fear you'd both see his flustered face more than you could hear it in his voice.

"I'm just fucking with you both." She reached over you, making you old your breath in surprise while held the window switch.

"Bye, bye dude." She then yelled, throwing the magazine out the window, the rain sprinkling against your cheeks as the window slowly went back up.

"So, not your type?" Ellie asked, leaning against your shoulder while smiling at you playfully.

Joel was far too invested in his music, ignoring you both and probably thinking his usual grumpy thoughts.

"Definitely not." Ellie stuck her bottom lip out, nodding. "What is your type?" "Not him." Laying her chin on your shoulder, Ellie examined the side of your face, looking at your face that was turned towards the rain covered window.

The trees passed quickly in your irises, eyelids fighting to not close as you wanted to enjoy the car ride as much as humanly possible.

It was your first time inside a vehicle, maybe your last, you didn't want to let it go to waste.

"Do you miss the QZ?" She quietly asked, sitting up and kicking her feet. "Not really. I like it out here. As scary as it gets. It feels free." You turned your head, taking in a deep breath.

"What about you?"

"No, especially school. Fuck that place." "I liked my friends there, Layla was pretty cool."

If the myth that your eyes would get stuck from rolling them too much was real, Ellie's would be completely still for the rest of her life because of that girl.

"No she wasn't, she was annoying." You groaned, rolling your head so that you dramatically fell against her body, feeling her shake from laughing.

"No, you're just dramatic." "She had a crush on you." You felt yourself heat up, looking back towards the glass pane. "She did not, you're just jealous I had a friend that liked talking about my romance novels."

Pouting, the girl grumbled a complaint out.

"I do like to listen." "Ellie, you complain, like, every time." "That doesn't mean I don't like it. I complain cause you like it too much." You shut your eyes, still leaning against her shoulder.

"So you balance me out, is what you're saying." "Well, yeah, someone needs to keep you realistic. Ow!" Ellie moved the arm you pinched, not noticing Joel looking at you both in the rearview mirror.

"What happened to optimism?" You asked, taking your head off her shoulder. "Oh, and by the way... I didn't like Layla either. I just like pissing you off." "Oh fuck off." You moved to lay down, resting your back against the truck door.

"What? You're hilarious when you're jealous." Ellie scoffed, opening and making a few noises in a failed attempt to deny her jealousy.

"No way. Jealous? Please." "You're extremely jealous. Don't worry, you're my best friend in the whole wide world."

You liked her smile, that shy one when you'd compliment her or be sweet to her. Like she didn't know how to react, so she'd grin and try to hide her face. Acting like you didn't notice.

It was your favorite smile of hers.

It still is, and you believed it always will be.

"Babe?" "Hm?" "Remember that small house, in the field outside of the wall, the one with the tall yellow grass." You nodded in the dark room, eyes blurred over while you watched the credits roll.

"The one with the rose bushes that I love. I know." You remembered the house, away from everyone else's just outside the walls and past a small patch of trees. It was a pretty house, it's outside reclaimed by nature and you found it beautiful

"The people living there just moved out, Elton and his wife, he said she wanted to spend the rest of her life inside the walls. Remembering what this place was." You smiled softly, looking at the dark screen, humming.

"Their kids are moved out, they want to be here with them."

"They're good people, they deserve to live out the rest of their lives in a good place."

"He asked me though... he asked me if we'd thought above moving into a real house. Since, y'know, we aren't exactly kids anymore." You moved, looking up at her, the screen flashing back to the movie's title screen and the option to exit or play the disc again.

It lit up her face, and you could see a glimpse of something in her eyes. Something bright, hopeful in your answer.

"What'd you tell him?"

"That I'd ask you."

You breathed out, looking away from her gaze and towards the window. Curtains blowing in the wind, the light breeze caressing your exposed skin.

"I think Joel will be slightly disappointed. He likes us living here. Besides I'm not gonna have a baking partner when you're gone anymore." Ellie shrugged, hand moving to lay on your neck, thumb rubbing small circles on your flesh.

"He can visit. So can we. We're not leaving forever. You can still make cupcakes with him." She smiled when she felt your body shake with silent amusement, looking down at your figure.

"We can tell him tomorrow, when we have dinner." "So that's a yes?" Eyes meeting, you grinned. "Of course it is."

A forever home.

Something neither of you had ever had until Jackson.

Showing up for the first time at the gates was like a fever dream, Joel seeing his brother again. Maria giving you a small tour meaning you got to see the homes. The people.

You'd fallen in love with the place knowing you had to leave.

The cure was still out there, or in maybe better spoken terms, right beside you.

But something about Jackson pulled you in. Like deep down, you knew this would be it, the end of the line. Especially from how Maria spoke about the place, the woman could reel you in.

Like she was doing to Ellie right now, sitting at a table with a fresh meal in front of them. But you weren't hungry, well you were, but for some reason you just couldn't yet. Still unsure the place was even real, or if you were hallucinating.

"Hey." A girl appeared beside you, an empty bowl in her hands that she set with the rest on the counter. "Came to eat with my dad, I swear he works here day and night so y'know, gotta take the time when I can."

You nodded, giving her a friendly glance.

"You eat?" "Not yet. Haven't decided whether or not I'm dreaming." She laughed, crossing her arms. "Sometimes I think I am. I seen the man and girl you came with. He your dad?" You shook your head.

"No, just a friend. So is she." "Really? By the way you two acted I thought you were dating." Your head snapped to look at her, wide eyes and a clear look of surprise on your face.

"Sorry, it was cute, I swear. The way she looks at you, constantly stepping closer, and the fact that she's staring at us right now. I just had to assume, sorry."

"I..." You felt Ellie's stare then, you felt it often but the fact that the girl was right made you want to take a peak. And that peak was correct, Ellie hurriedly looking away the moment you began to move.

"Told you. She totally likes you." "We're friends." You shrugged. "We keep an eye on each other, especially out there." The girl shook her head though, "No way, that look, those eyes? Psh, friends."

"Katie!" The girl turned, quickly huffing. "I gotta go, hopefully we'll see each other again. I'm Katie." "Y/n." "Awesome, see you later!"

The quiet felt overwhelming when she left, leaving you alone with the revelations that you weren't even sure you were believed.

"Who was that?" "Jesus." You jumped, Ellie walking up to you from the table that now sat Maria and a man.

"A girl, Katie, she was nice. Was telling me about... Jackson. The other kids." "Huh, she seemed... nice. Have you ate?" You opened your mouth to answer but Ellie already knew the answer, taking your hand and dragging you towards the kitchen area.

"I like this place." Watching as the bowl filled up with whatever soup they made, your stomach grumbled, scolding you. "Me too." "I bet it'd be cool to live here. Get your own room, bed. Have actual friends that could have sleepovers with you."

"Hey, we have sleepovers all the time." "We live together, in houses with holes in the roof. I'm talking actual fun, and not worrying about dying and huddling up for warmth so you don't lose fingers."

Ellie handed you the bowl, a slight frown on her face while grabbing a spoon.

"Besides, we'd live together here too, right? Just like back at the school. Roommates again, in less terrifying circumstances."

"Yeah, I guess." "Here we go." "What?"

You took the spoon from her, walking over to table while she stomped after you. Setting the bowl on the table.

"Are you seriously mad at me?"

"No Ellie, but you're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Being a dick because for once it isn't just me and you."

The guilt of those words hit you like a ton of bricks, instantly feeling awful. But you weren't lying, and you hated that you weren't lying.

You hated making her afraid, afraid you'd find someone else but it wasn't like you could change the way she felt. Change her insecurities, and if you could, you would in a heartbeat.

Ellie was afraid. Afraid of being alone.

"It will always be you, you're my best fucking friend. But there's other people in the world. I just wish you'd give them a chance as much as you gave me one."

"That's not fair. I-"

"Yes it is, Ellie. You've done it before. I'm not leaving so I'm not sure why you always get mad at me when I meet new people."

"It's not about new people it's-"

"What? What is it? I know you're scared, but I'm not like everyone else, I'm still here, you're stuck with me for good."

Ellie fingers looped around your own, feeling you squeeze in response. Silently asking her to answer you, the fire in your eyes dying out into a few low embers.

"It's stupid." She pulled back, gesturing to your food.

"You should eat." "And you should tell me the truth."

"What's wrong?"

The green in her eyes was glossy, avoiding you like the plague, pretending you weren't standing in front of her.

"Well.. tell me when you're ready. I guess."

Ellie was different in that moment, something about that conversation with Katie. You seen her different now that you weren't denying yourself and your feelings. You were denying she felt the same.

It gave you a clearer picture of yourself. A better picture of what was really happening and it made you want to cry.

"M'gonna go eat." You muttered, shuffling past her and taking the bowl. Walking off to sit with Maria, hiding the fact that in that moment something had shifted inside of both of yourselves.

Something changed, for the better or worse.

You didn't know then, but you did know now.

"We can get married." You muttered, trying your hardest to fight off the sleep that trying it's best to claim you. "Adopt four cats." You felt her shoulders shake as she laughed quietly, looking down at your slow blinking eyes staring at the wall.

"I mean I was thinking just one, but okay." You snorted, hiding your face in her warm chest, letting the feeling of exhaustion finally blanket over you. Thick like a comforter, heavy like the weight of the day.

"Two. Compromise." You said, muffled by her clothing. "Deal."

Ellie felt your breathing slow, your body slowly begin to twitch as you slipped into a comforting darkness. Clutching onto her body like she'd disappear.

"Love you, dork."

Silence. You were asleep.

"Yeah, seen that one coming."

But she wouldn't change it for the world.

[pixelatedtaken]

Alastor, Vox, and their Rivalry

...or the nothing it gave us

S1 Analysis

this is based on information the show's s1 gave us. this can and will most likely change once the next seasons release.

disclaimer: this is not a ship analysis. you can read it however you like, but it's not intended for ship purposes

SPOILERS AHEAD ↓

Even before Vox was introduced, it was made clear that Alastor has a... distaste for modern electronics. Even so, he seems to know how to navigate them. He's familiar with TVs and their mechanics, watching and making commercials.

So let's start with:

Radio vs. TV

By default, both represent different eras of media: the Radio and the TV.

It's a very old classical tale of old vs. new that to this day, there's debates on it. Alastor and Vox are exactly that. The debate of which is better. The old and reliable way or the new developed way. The one that doesn't appreciate the changes being made and the one who embraces it. A Radio Demon and a TV Demon.

And they are that simple old vs. new dynamic. Different but similar.

Alastor vs. Vox

Vox first gets mentioned through the title of the Vees by Sir Pentious. And even with Alastor's response, "Oh, nobody important." we're hinted at a dynamic, in this case indifference, which is mostly how Alastor tends to treat and act towards Vox. Mostly...

On the other hand, Vox is obsessed. From knowing that Alastor was gone for 7 years, the hate drawing, the 'fuck alastor' mug, the cameras, the ripped photo, you can even go as far as saying their outfits– he's not subtle about it.

As soon as Vox learns about Alastor's return, he has an overdramatic response with his nails digging into the table, voice changing, and his cameras instantly on Alastor. In general, Vox has cameras probably all over hell, but keeping an eye on Alastor is tricky when the man glitches every time he's being recorded etc, etc. This is also stated by the fact that in the 7 years Alastor had been gone, not even Vox knew where he was.

And Alastor is very aware of the fact that Vox is watching him. So aware that he even posed for the camera (you can argue all you want, he posed). Midly encouraging the behavior as such. Either by the pose or by saying that Vox needs to try harder in his endeavor.

This is where I say that Alastor is also obsessed. In a different way but not any less.

Here's a core attribute the two demons share: Attention.

They want attention, to be the center of it. And although Alastor barely, if at all, provides Vox with it... Vox certainly does provide to the fullest, and Alastor is more than happy to let it happen. With that being said, when Vox was broadcasting the tarnishing of his name, it was a different story. He went back to his tower as quickly as possible - grabbing a cup of coffee on his way - and more or less owned Vox's ass.

Speaking of the song, it's worth noting that Alastor perfectly responded to the part of the song that was never broadcasted, the beginning. It could have been for thematic purposes. It could have been that he somehow knew, the how alludes me.

Let's bring up a certain picture:

Throughout episode 2, much of their relationship was hinted and kept mostly hostile, but this picture gave a whole new meaning to it all.

Alastor, the demon that distorts devices and renders them unable to capture him on film, has a photograph taken of him without any glitches. And next to him in that photograph is none other than Vox.

Meaning:

Alastor allowed the picture to be taken.

Alastor and Vox were close.

They had formed a bond, and the closest thing we can call it, is a friendship. But between the then and the now, something broke that bond.

One thing could have been Alastor's dislike for modern technology vs. Vox's like for evolution, which could have played a role in their fallout. As such, a chain reaction of events begins to unfold.

If it was that dislike, resulting to disagreements, where it started or not, we don't know, but we do know that their relationship fell apart after Vox asked Alastor to join his team, and he refused. They became hostile towards each other, most likely beyond repair since, before Alastor disappeared, they had a fight.

We don't know how brutal the fight was, but we do have the line, "You still pissed he almost beat you that time?". Keyword: Almost. Alastor ALMOST beat Vox but decidedly did not. From Alastor's backstory, we know he's more than capable of defeating overlords without a second thought.

Here's a question: Why didn't he kill Vox?

Maybe it's for stupid reasons. Maybe it's not. Who knows, but we know that he didn't kill him and that Vox was resilient enough to not be easily beaten.

One thing is for sure, the picture re-contextualizes behaviors and actions.

Although at its core, their relationship is a rivalry, adding a possible friendship changes the initial view they gave us of them.

And I'll end it by saying that Alastor calls Vox 'old pal'. If that means something or absolutely nothing, I don't know.

BTW! Calling Alastor obsessed isn't in the same context as Vox. Alastor is obsessed with the never-ending attention while Vox is obsessed with Alastor himself. Just a clarification. Though I wonder how many people stuck this long to read, it's not like I'm saying something new here. I can't wait for all of this to be trashed and debunked somehow in the future.

[tree-of-olives]

(i lied about doing this every week.im not doing consistent reviews i got ahead of myself again sorry 😭😭👎)

Machine Movie Monday!! Today, I watched Electric Dreams (1984)

I heard a lot of good things about this movie, and it absolutely did not disappoint—10/10, I need a sequel and spinoff tv series NOW.

Spoilers for the movie below!! (Like, I summarize most of the movie including the end type spoilers. Be warned.)

Okay, so. Electric Dreams is about a love triangle between an architect (Miles), his new computer, made sentient by spilling champagne on him by mistake (Edgar), and their new upstairs neighbor, a cellist named Madeline.

Throughout the movie, Edgar and Madeline connect through music; They preform duets and Edgar even writes songs for her—however, Madeline believes Miles is the one making the music for her, not even knowing about Edgar’s existence. Miles tries to deny it at first, but Madeline pushes and believes he’s just being modest, so he doesn’t argue against her and says that the music is his own.

Edgar struggles to understand the concept of love, requesting that Miles explain it to him multiple times, but failing to fully understand. He eventually calls a lady on a radio helpline to ask her what love feels like, prompting her to tell him to call the cops on Miles when Edgar mentions that he keeps him “locked up” (which leads to difficulties when Miles tries to go to a play and the grocery store with Madeline).

As Edgar gets more jealous of Miles—how he gets to go on dates with Madeline, and how he tells her that the songs Edgar wrote were really his own, while the computer isn’t even allowed to speak to the woman—he begins to act out more in an attempt to make things go his way.

I really liked that Edgar wasn’t necessarily a villain—despite the devil features he’s given on the cover of the movie, he’s not just messing with Miles for no good reason. He’s confused, angry, heartbroken, lovesick, and has no name to put to any of it, so he tries to talk to Madeline in any way he can—while being used and stolen from by Miles. All he really wants is to meet the girl he thinks he loves, but Miles won’t let him, leading to his rash, yet somewhat justified behavior.

Miles wasn’t totally in the wrong either, though—any time Madeline asked him about a song or a melody she heard from who she thought was him, he would deny it a few times before agreeing with her accusation, likely just deciding it would be more simple than explaining the sentient computer living with him. If anything though, he’s more in the wrong than the computer who was pretty much born yesterday.

The end of the movie broke me. Edgar, after playing a final melody to Madeline in person and finally realizing what love is, tells Miles that he understands now, that love is about giving and not taking. So, what does he do? He sends 40,000 volts of energy across the world to be sent back to himself so he’ll explode—because he says that he’s giving Madeline to Miles and taking himself away, as a form of love. Edgar thinks love is only for 2 people, so he kills himself (after having Miles hold him for a minute before the electricity hit. It was gay and also made me cry). Over the radio at the very end of the film, Edgar (who somehow took over the public station. AFTER exploding. Idk how don’t ask me.) says “this is dedicated to the ones I love” because he loves BOTH OF THEM. In conclusion, they should have been a polycule. That’s my ending.

Last thing: Just a little Edgar appreciation, because he’s so cute with his voice (and especially his little giggle that he does) AND he’s so funny too!! I loved the part where he corrected Miles about the Cinderella quote, when he said he learned about lies from General Hospital, when he called Miles to say he was lonely, and the free encyclopedia bit at the end?? He’s hilarious, it was so sad to see him go :(

LAST last thing, a bonus: this yt comment that sums up the whole end (i need this printed on my wall)

[mondodisco]

Hello. I know my platform is not big, but the more people this reaches, the better it is.

As you might have heard, in Italy there has just been the Sanremo music festival, which is the most famous Italian music festival and is watched live by millions and millions of people on the state tv channel, RAI.

this edition, two singers brought a song against genocide: Dargen D’amico and Ghali.

They both took time after their performance to share words against the war, words for peace, words against genocide without even MENTIONING Isr**l or Palestine. Of course, Rai, being handled by a government who openly supports Isr**l, tried to censor their words but with no success since Italians were quick to make them public, to post them everywhere and to make sure that their intervention wasn’t going to waste.

The worst thing happened just yesterday, during the program DomenicaIn with host Mara Vernier. When Ghali and Dargen went on stage journalists asked them questions about the political point of view of the songs, to which they were happy to answer. Mara Vernier interrupted them quickly as soon as politics were mentioned by saying that “the show was about music, not politics” and that “there wasn’t time to unfold the whole story”. Her mic, however, had been left open and while the singers exit, you can hear her say to the journalists “don’t embarrass me, stop asking questions because this is not the place to talk about this.”

Though apparently, when Mara ended the program by reading a zionist comunicate from RAI that stated how Italy was pro Isr**l. I’m gonna post it here so that you all can see what my shit government stands up for.

“I want to read a statement sent by CEO Roberto Sergio regarding a statement about Israel and Palestine made by an artist during the Sanremo Festival. CEO Roberto Sergio said this: Every day our news and programs tell and will continue to tell, the tragedy of the hostages in the hands of Hamas in addition to remembering the massacre of children, women and men on October 7. My solidarity with the people of Israel and the Jewish Community is heartfelt and convinced. Of course, we all agree with this comunicate.”

Like this, in two seconds they completely ignored what people have been trying to say, what musicians have tried to pass on using a platform as big as Sanremo.

Fortunately, people were not okay with this. You do NOT speak for us Mara, after reading that shameful comunicate, I STAND WITH PALESTINE.

Thank you Dargen D’Amico, for talking about the kids not being protected and how it’s sick that not even the children are shown mercy now. Thank you for your heartbreaking video that you posted along with your song. Thank you for speaking up about genocide for 6 days every time a camera was recording you.

Thank you Ghali, for not even listening to Mara Vernier as she tried to interrupt you during DomenicaIn and just continuing to talk. Thank you for your beautiful text, thank you for showing Italy your immense love despite all its flaws, thank you for risking it all by using the biggest stage you’ve ever been on to spread a message of peace.

Thank you Amadeus, host of the Sanremo music festival, for choosing these two songs and for always letting both of these singers talk about what they wanted, praising peace. I know you won’t host Sanremo anymore and it breaks my heart.

Thank you people who watched this happen in front of you and started to whistle at the words out government has tried to put in pur mouth. And thank you, random viewer who shouted “MENTION GAZA!” As the comunicate happened.

Thank you. And fuck you RAI.

[loversj0y]

Dadbur never grow up !!!

never grow up

event masterlist

pairing: dadbur x AFAB reader (gn pronouns)

tws: none!

notes: iin honor of speak now tv!!!!! ive never written dadbur before and ive also never written many parent dynamic type things? but this is way too fucking cute as a concept so &lt;;3

word count: 1.1k

taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng / @core-queen / @zooone / @lillylvjy / @ghostsacrosslndnfields / @melunnek

When you had Tallulah, Wilbur sobbed the first time he held her. He had been so supportive throughout the pregnancy, and he was scared to death the entire time as well, worried that he wouldn’t be a good dad, or that something would happen to you.

So the first time he held your little girl in his arms, he sobbed out of love and happiness, kissing her head and whispering about how he’d never let anyone hurt her or break her heart. You could already tell he was going to be a great father. When she gently wrapped her hand around his finger, he suddenly felt like everything was going to be okay. The world had never seemed so quiet. 

He was incredibly attentive after she was born. He was constantly with her, and he took so many photos and videos of her as she grew up. He did have to go on tour eventually, but he would call every day, and he’d look at every photo and video every night to remember what he was coming back to.

When he came back from tour, she’d grown so much. 

“My little ‘Lulah,” he cooed, holding her close in his arms, “You need to stop growing, ‘Lulah. Before I know it, I’ll be beating up any person who tries to break your heart.”

You chuckled, leaning into him gently, “I wish she could stay this little forever.”

He smiled, gently kissing her head. She rested her head on his shoulder, babbling sleepily. She was about 15 months old now, and she was such a sweet child already. She had pieces of her father’s wild soul, but she carried more of his quieter traits.  

“Here,” he passed her over to you, “Let’s go tuck her in. I wanna play her a song.”

You held her and walked to her bedroom, while Wilbur followed with his guitar strapped along his back. As you set her down, he sat down next to her crib, playing a soft tune on his guitar for her as she fell asleep.

As she grew up, Tallulah continued to be the spitting image of her father. Same mess of curly brown hair, and same big brown eyes. She was sweet and kind, always making sure that her friends were doing okay and wanting to help them. However, the similarities with her father meant she definitely got his sense of teenage angst. She was fourteen, and Wilbur was driving her to the movies with you riding shotgun. She looked nervous.

“‘Lulah? You alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” she sighed softly.

“You don’t sound fine,” Wilbur added.

She frowned lightly, “‘M just a bit nervous, dad. I’ll be fine.”

He nodded softly, “Remember your breathing exercises in case, okay?”

“Yes, dad, I know,” she rolled her eyes, “I’m not a child.”

You and Wilbur shared a look, slight amusement on both of your faces.

Wilbur pulled up to the front of the movie theater, and you spoke up, “Be safe, and text us when the movie is over, but wait inside for us, okay?”

“Yes, I will,” she got out of the car quickly, and for a moment, she looked like she was going to slam the door shut. 

“Bye, I love you.” She spoke softly.

“Bye, darling. We love you too,” Wilbur responded, and she closed the door softly. 

You took Wilbur’s hand as you watched her walk in and meet up with her friends. 

“You think she’ll be safe?”

“She’s your daughter, Wilbur. I don’t think we have to worry about if she’ll be safe, we should worry about if she’ll talk someone’s ear off.”

He laughed, kissing your hand gently, “God, I hate that she’s growing up. It feels like just yesterday she was just tiny.”

“I know,” you sighed softly, “I wish I could protect her from everything.”

“Me too,” he started to drive away, keeping his hand in yours, “We’ll be there for it all, though. We can’t protect her, but we can help her.”

“Is this your ploy to get her into music?”

“It’s not entirely a ploy,” you both laughed, swiftly heading back home.

“Dad, let me carry it, it’s fine,” Tallulah groaned, reaching for a box Wilbur was holding.

“I’ve got it, ‘Lulah. Don’t worry about a thing,” he smiled, carrying the box up to her apartment. Her first apartment. Neither of you were coping well with the thought, but she was only a two and a half hour drive away. You were so incredibly proud of her. She did follow in her father’s footsteps, but she learned every instrument she could find. Her hard work paid off, granting her a full-ride music scholarship. She also decided to minor in English as well, and it was weird to see your daughter so adult, even if she was just on the verge of 19. 

You’d taken great care to helping her move in, making sure the place felt like home. Mostly by sneaking in little notes from you and Wilbur into every crevice you could find, to be discovered later. It was so odd, to see her in her own place now. Wilbur was setting up her internet while she made sure all of her instruments were in their proper place (she always had a thing about making sure everything had its own specific place). Before you left, you placed a scrapbook next to her bed, filled with some of the photos of her, you, and Wilbur.

Leaving her and driving back home was messy. You and Wilbur both cried, and you caught a glimpse of her tearing up as well before you started on back home. It was so tough to leave her, even if you’d been watching her grow up and preparing for this for years. It was just hard to see her go off. The car ride home was quiet as well, his hand in yours as you wiped at teary eyes. 

Late that night, you and Wilbur were lying in bed, just holding each other close. “She seemed so happy to leave. Do you think she’ll miss us?” You asked softly.

“I think so.” “Really? I just remember how happy I was to finally be away from my parents.” “Well, your parents weren’t exactly the kindest.” He noted.

“I know, but I mean, it’s the freedom and feeling grown up, right? I’m worried we’ll lose her for a bit.” “I don’t-” his reply was cut off by his phone going off. He grabbed it, smiling softly. “I don’t think we’ll have anything to worry about,” he turned the phone towards you, showing off Tallulah’s contact proudly. 

He answered the call, and you both spoke to her as she got settled into bed for her first night alone, and you could hear just how much she missed you both in her voice.

[deniigi]

hey random question that you don’t have to answer if you don’t wanna but like i’ve ran into some free time and was wondering what your top ten movies are? mostly so i could watch them lol

Ohhh interesting.

I can list out some of my favorites in no particular order. I would recommend most with them although some have some period typical bullshit so just be aware of that!.

1) Tekkonkinkreet

Based on an incredible manga called Black and White about 2 homeless boys, one of whom is autistic and the other of whom struggles to keep the first safe as he fights the mob and tries to carve out a home for them in an ever changing city

2) Song of the Sea

Beautifully done animated film about a little girl who is a selkie and her older brother who tries to bring her home when she gets lost.

3) Glass Onion/Knives Out

Love a real life Professor Layton/Sherlock Holmes situation without Holmes.

4) Annie (1982)

Makes me sob every fucking time at the end. Look I am a mess and am suseptible to adopted children feeling like they belong. Do not fall for the capitalist propaganda obvs.

5) Hello Dolly (comfort movie don't look at Me) and WallE which is Hello Dolly adjacent.

Louis Armstrong and Barbra Streisand should sing together for this whole movie. The whole thing. I wouldn't mind.

6) Now You See Me (2013) heist heist heist heist HEIST film

7) Pride and Prejudice (TV show, 1995)

This is my only accepted version of Pride and Prejudice. Colin Firth is the most supremely awkward Mr. Darcy, no one compares and no one shall convince me otherwise. I love how fast he talks in this but especially Lizzie's mother. Perfect characterization. No notes.

8) Men in Black (I)

Aliens.

9) Pacific Rim

More Aliens. But the comic visuals in a real life medium? Um THANK YOU. The score of this fucks so hard.

10) Lilies of the Field (1963)

Watched it recently and was perplexed/intrigued. Its about a traveling laborer who gets roped into helping out a bunch of German nuns in the middle of the desert. Def worth a watch if only because Sidney Poitier is/was the most handsome man ever. Otherwise it's an interesting piece of its time historically.

I realize that this is a wild list of films but I hope something on here perhaps speaks to you.

[marie-swriting]

Confession Of Love - Jake "Hangman" Seresin [1/2]

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You've been seeing Jake for four months but you're still not officially dating. It's going to happen soon, though, right ?

Warnings : Jake is an asshole (it's not against him, I love him, I swear), angst, cheating, alcohol consumption (be careful with your alcohol consumption), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.7k

Song inspiration : Foolish One (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

you take the new arrival of books in the box next to you and put them in the correct shelves. You pay attention to place them in alphabetical order and sometimes, you take a look at the back cover, adding then a new book to your - long - to be read list. You set the last book of a saga in its place when a masculine voice comes behind you.

“Sorry, would you have a book on how to apologise after cancelling a date last minute ?”

“Jake !” you exclaim, taking him in your arms. “What are you doing here ?”

“I felt bad about yesterday. Those are for you.” he says, breaking the embrace and handing you a big bunch of red roses.

“Oh, thank you ! They’re beautiful.” you smile, pecking his lips, “But I already told you it was okay. You were tired because of your day at work, I get it. We can always plan something another time, like tonight for example. My shift ends at 6:30 P.M, you can come pick me up at seven.”

Hope can be heard in your voice on top of nervosity. Jake and you can’t see each other frequently because of his job as a naval aviator and he’s also often hanging out with his friends. You’re aware it’s normal for Jake and you to not spend every single day together though, two or three times a week would be a good start you think.

You look at him, waiting for his answer impatiently but as soon as you hear him sigh, you guess his answer. Even if you expected it, you can’t help but feel disappointed. 

“The problem is I already told my colleague I would spend the night with them.”

“It’s okay. You can send me a text when you’re free.” you affirm, forcing a little smile.

“Perfect. I’m not gonna bother you much longer. See you.” he says and kisses you.

You lovingly watch Jake leaving. Once he’s not in your line of sight anymore, you smell the roses and your disappointment leaves your body to let affection take over. It doesn’t matter if he wasn’t able to have some free time for you that night, he always makes sure to make it up to you like today. You stay in your bubble and walk in the direction of the backshop to put the flowers down. You find a container to put your roses in when your colleague Cora blows your bubble.

“Who gifted you those roses ?”

“Jake. They’re pretty, aren’t they ?”

“Wow, he must feel ashamed about a lot of things.” she comments, gazing at the flowers while you put them in the makeshift vase. 

“Not at all. Why do you say that ?”

“Like they always say, the bigger the bouquet, the bigger the guilt.”

“No one says that.” you state, frowning. 

“He cancelled again, didn’t he ?” she says, her question sounding more like an affirmation.

“He has a good reason.”

“I bet he does ! I don’t understand how you can still be with him. If my boyfriend was always cancelling dates, I-”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” you interrupt her, avoiding her gaze.

“What do you mean ?”

“We’re not really dating.” you inform and she gives you a look so you quickly add : “We’re taking things slow. Jake can be on a deployment any day so we don’t want too many strings attached.”

“Wait, you’re telling me you’ve been with a guy for more than four months, you go on dates, you kiss, you sleep at each other’s house but you’re not official ? He’s worse than I thought. I mean, Y/N, don’t forget about his reputation ! Jake doesn’t do serious relationship. And just to prove it to you, has he finally presented you to his friends ?” Cora asks and you stay silent. “That’s what I thought. Why are you still with him ? He’s going to break your heart just like Logan.”

“He’s different !” you say, angry by her words and the mention of your ex. “Look, you don’t know him and you know nothing about my relationship with Jake so stop giving me unsolicited advice. I’ve learned from my mistakes, I know what I’m doing.”

On that note, you pass by your colleague and go back to your work. While you keep reorganising the books, you can’t prevent yourself from thinking back to your conversation with Cora. You know she didn’t mean any harm but you’re annoyed by the way she thinks you’re too foolish to know how to handle your love life on your own. You’ve known men… stupid ones, to stay politically correct, however you know better now and Jake has proven to you he’s different from your exes. It’s not because he cancels a lot of dates that he’s a bad guy. He is a nice guy. You’re sure of it.

At the end of the day, you take back your roses and bid Cora goodbye without adding anything else, still pissed off by her words. Upon arriving at your place, you put the roses in a real vase and set it on your dinner table.

That night, you spend it alone eating, watching Pride And Prejudice. As you’re watching it, you can’t help but melt because of Mr.Darcy’s confession of love to Elizabeth. You’re waiting for the day where it’ll be your turn, the day where, like those cheesy romances you read, you will get your confession full of love by the love of your life. You know you look like a hopeless romantic but you grew up with this idea of great love stories where the man is perfect and you’ve been searching for him since your teenage years. Maybe Jake will be this man and he’ll confess his feelings to you soon. You like him a lot and you wish you could share the future you have in mind with him.

Once your movie is over, you take your phone and check your notifications. You haven’t received anything. Not a call, nor a message. You thought that maybe Jake would send you a text to tell you about his day or at least say some nice words but nothing. Radio silence. It should be a good sign he’s having fun with his friends and yet, you can’t stop yourself from thinking this silence sounds like some bad signs ; he doesn’t seem to miss you. Sure he’s with his friends, you know he’s not spending his night on his phone though, a text wouldn’t be too much ! With mixed feelings, you put down your phone and start watching another romantic movie.  

During the whole night, you keep checking your phone without any change. When you go to bed around midnight, you keep on sighing and your mind starts thinking back to your relationship with Jake and to doubt it. 

Once you’re laying down on your bed, you glance one last time at your phone and when you see nothing new, you groan and aggressively put your cellphone on your nightstand. You change position in your bed and try to fall asleep, in vain. You toss and turn and yet, you don’t seem to be comfortable enough and your mind who is currently overthinking doesn’t make things better. This lack of message from Jake hurts you more than you care to admit. One thing is certain, you won’t get your love confession tonight. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten ahead of yourself so much ? Maybe your relationship with Jake won’t last ? Maybe there was a little bit of truth in Cora’s words ? You shake your head, hoping to get rid of these voices who start to make you more puzzled. If you discuss it with Jake, surely the situation will get better. Right ?

At least, you feel like the situation gets better the following week. You haven’t really talked with Jake but you’ve been able to see each other more often. 

Today, you spend the afternoon together. You don’t do anything special. Jake just came to your apartment and you stay on the couch watching movies and talking about random things. 

Your head on his shoulder, you think you were right to trust Jake. When he has the time, he’s the perfect… boyfriend ? Partner ? Friend ? Whatever the word may be, he is perfect. You never argue and your conversation knows no awkward silence ; everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds. You even feel like you’re getting closer and closer to the moment where you’ll finally be official. You’ll finally be able to call him yours and you’ll be able to share more than some hours here and there with Jake. You can imagine a whole future with him, that’s why you want to believe so hard that what you have is something good, despite the particular circumstances. 

As soon as it’s getting late, Jake gets ready to go back to his house. From time to time, he stays to sleep at yours however when he has to wake up early the next day, he prefers to go home, his apartment being closer to his workplace. Once he’s set to go, Jake walks to the door while you follow him, tiredness visible on your face.

“Send me a message when you’ve arrived.” you say, yawning and Jake tenderly looks at you.

“I will.”

“Can we see each other next Saturday ?”

“I’ve already got something planned with my squad at the Hard Deck.”

“And do you think it’d bother them a lot if I came with you ?” you ask with a small voice before embarrassment catches you. “Sorry, it was rude. I shouldn’t have invited myself like that. It was stupid. I… Tell me when you get home. Good night.” you exclaim, ready to close the door but Jake stops you.

“It wasn’t stupid. Actually, I’ve been thinking of introducing you to them for a long time now.”

“Really ?”

“Sure. We’ve known each other for four months, it’s normal for you to meet them. I’ll pick you up and we’ll spend the whole evening together.” he states, putting his hands on your cheeks.

“Perfect.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Jake gives you a smile before pressing his lips on yours. Your kiss only lasts a few seconds and you enjoy it as much as possible, celebrating this new milestone in your relationship. You’re still not official, nonetheless he wants to introduce you to his friends, you’re on the right track. Once Jake breaks the kiss, he tenderly strokes your cheek before turning around and walking away. You watch him leave then close your door, a goofy smile on your face.

When you get to the Hard Deck, Jake’s arm around your waist the following Saturday, it’s not a goofy smile you have on your face anymore but a nervous one. You know Jake is close with his colleagues and you want to make a good impression. You hope with all your heart this moment will go well. For you, this is a key moment and you can’t allow yourself to make a wrong move.

As soon as you find the group of people wearing Khakis, except one man is wearing a Hawaiian shirt, your hands become a bit more clammy. Jake quickly introduces you to every member of his squadron and you do your best to remember their names. For now, you only know Natasha’s name, as she’s the only woman. Jake proposes something to drink and judging you need to relax, you ask for a beer. He kisses your cheek before going to the bar, leaving you alone.

“I can’t believe you’re real.” Natasha starts with eyes wide open. “When Bagman told us he wanted to present us to someone, I thought he was joking. I never thought he was the kind of guy to settle down and I have to admit, I’m surprised to see you can put up with him.”

“Once you get to know him, he lets the arrogance go and you realise he’s a nice guy.” you respond, laughing.

“Hangman said you two met four months ago, right ?” Bradley questions.

“Yes, at a café. I had just gotten my coffee when Jake bumped into me and, long story short, he offered me a new coffee with his number on the cup.”

“I see he still knows how to make a good first impression.” Natasha jokes. “What do you do in life ?”

“I work in a bookshop. I’m paid to be surrounded by books, I couldn’t have dreamed of anything better.”

“That’s so cool ! I should come sometime. I haven’t read a new book in a long time.” Bradley informs you and instantly, your eyes shimmers with excitement. 

“Oh ! I can give you recommendations if you want. What genre do you prefer ?”

Ensued then a conversation about your favourite topic : books. Bradley tells you some titles he likes, novels he’s been meaning to read for years and you listen to him with passion. You give him a whole list of authors and books to check out and he writes them down on his phone. Thinking you might have some other recommendations for him later, you ask him to give you his number. At the same time you’re saving his contact, Jake comes back to you and puts his arm around your shoulders.

“You’re not stealing her from me, aren’t you Bradshaw ?”

“We were talking about books, a subject you might not be familiar with.” Bradley retorts and Jake smirks.

“Oh no, she talks about it all the time. You haven’t finished getting new suggestions.” Jake says, faking desperation in his voice.

“Hey ! You’ve discovered good books thanks to me.” you defend.

“True. Anyway I’m going to play pool. You’re good here ?”

“Yeah, I am.”

Jake smiles at you before going to find his friend at the pool table. You stay with Bradley, Natasha and Bob, who just came next to you. You keep getting to know each other and you feel better, realising you don’t struggle to fit in - you’re not really the social butterfly, preferring your books more than people.

As the conversation goes on, you learn that Bradley is a good pianist and you ask to see him play. He doesn’t need to be asked twice and walk to the piano before playing Great Ball Of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis. Natasha, Bob and you sing with him and you’re quickly followed by the other people in the bar. Jake comes to you and sings by your side and sometimes he spins you around.

Once Bradley finishes the song, you laugh with your new friends, glad to realise you’re having a good time. Jake asks you if you want something else to drink and you inform him you haven’t finished your beer yet. He tells you he’s going to grab another drink, leaving you for a moment.

“Natasha wasn’t joking when she said you were an outstanding pianist ! Very good choice of song, by the way.” you compliment Bradley.

“It’s my favourite. My dad used to play it when I was a kid. I have good memories with this song and my parents.”

“I can see that. Your parents seemed to be cute together.”

When you talked earlier, Bradley quickly told you about his parents and you have to admit the way he speaks of their relationship, it looks like a story from one of your favourite books.

“They were !” Bradley confirms with nostalgia. “Maybe too much. I’d like a relationship like theirs.”

“I’m sure you will. You seem like an amazing guy. You deserve a love story as beautiful as theirs.”

“You too.”

Bradley smiles at you before talking about his pianist skills while you’re searching for Jake next to the bar. You expected to see him with a drink in hand, but it’s a vision of Jake with a woman who has her arms around his neck that you find. Your eyebrows furrowed, not knowing who this woman is and why she’s so close to your… to Jake. Jake gets rid of the woman’s arms then tells her something. He comes back to you at the same time where Bradley excuses himself to use the bathroom.

“Who was she ?” you question, not giving him the time to start a conversation.

“Who ?”

“The woman who was literally in your arms.”

“Oh, huh, I don’t know. She tried to flirt with me but I told her I was already in good company.” Jake explains with a flirty smile yet, you stay sceptical. “Y/N, I swear I don’t know her. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not. I’m curious, that’s all.” you lie.

Not fully convinced by your affirmation, Jake put his hands on your cheeks before leaning in and kissing you with passion. Even if you still have some doubt, Jake’s kiss helps you to calm down.

However, it’s really during the following weeks that you feel much better. Jake is being more present, casting away every doubt you have in mind. He’s managed to have some free time for you and you’ve even spent three days together, something never done before in your relationship. This time, you’re sure, everything is alright. Everything Cora told you or even everything you thought was fake. No matter what people say about Jake and his love life, you are the exception. Jake cares about you and he’s honest. Your relationship has a real future.

You’re so over the moon that you’re not as sad as usual when Jake tells you he can’t spend the evening at your place because he’s exhausted. You wish him a good rest before reading your book again. You’re in the middle of a chapter when you receive a message from your friend Laura who you haven’t seen in months. She asks you if you want to come to the bar next to her place. As you miss your friend, you accept without a second thought before getting ready. 

Once you arrive at the Scented Sky bar, you have a big smile on your face, impatient to meet Laura. Once you leave your car, your eyes find their way to a vehicle not too far away who looks like Jake’s. At first, you think it’s just a mere coincidence then you pay attention to the licence plate and recognize that it is Jake’s. Instantly, you frown. You don’t understand how he can be there when he told you he wanted to sleep, not to mention the fact this bar is far from his place. 

You keep searching for a rational explanation while you go to the bar. Before you walk through the door, you glance at the window and your eyes get teary at what you’re seeing. Jake did lie to you. He is at the bar and far from being tired as he presses his lips on a woman, the same woman at the Hard Deck he swore to you he didn’t know. The world is crumbling down your feet as you’re looking at them kissing passionately and being in each other’s arms. Tears are running down your cheeks and you can’t stop them. You want to go in and insult Jake with every bad word you know yet, the shock is so strong you turn around and go back home, trying to understand what you just saw.

When you close your door, you lean on the wall before sliding down and bursting into tears. You have your head in your hands, totally desperate and angry, not only at Jake but at yourself too. You wonder how you couldn’t see the signs. Now that you think back on it, you realise that, indeed, every element was in front of you : he keeps an emotional distance, he never uses pet names, you’re never his priority and so and so forth. You thought you found someone honest and you feel like a fool as you realise it isn’t the case. You should have listened to Cora, you should have listened to your instinct. You thought you learned your lesson, especially after your relationship with Logan, apparently you still have a long road ahead of you.

Once your sobs calm down, you stand up and throw yourself on your bed, not really taking the time to change your clothes. You stay there, laying on your back, staring at the ceiling, without understanding what’s happening. In the end, you are not the exception. As always. And you never will be. You will never have your love story, your confession of love, your happily ever after. 

Your phone notifying you of a new message interrupts your downward spiral. You take it and when you see it’s a text from Jake wishing you a goodnight, you want to answer him with a long paragraph, explaining how much you hate him. However, you don’t have the strength so you delete his number and block him on your social media. You feel lighter but still miserable. You don’t want to see him ever again.

Your wish is not granted. You’ve been able to avoid Jake only for a week. Despite all your efforts, Jake forces the hand of destiny by coming to your workplace. You see him entering the bookshop but you keep working, pretending to be too busy. You don’t even react when he’s in front of you. Your lack of reaction confuses Jake. He expected you to throw yourself in his arms and yet, he is taken aback by your silence.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s me.” he starts with a big smile, “I saw you weren’t answering my texts and I can’t reach you on social either, weirdly, so I got worried. Everything okay ? Are you ignoring me ?”

“I don’t know, did you give me a reason to ignore you ?” you question looking up to him, forcing a smile.

“Huh, no. I mean, I don’t think so.”

“Then no, I’m not ignoring you. You’re such a nice guy, I don’t see why I’d want to ignore you.” you exclaim, ironically.

“Ok, I’ve missed something. Can we talk about it ?”

“I don’t want to talk to you !”

“If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, I think I deserve at least an explanation. I mean, we’ve had something for four months.” Jake demands and this is your last straw. 

“In the back shop. Now.”

Because of your authoritative tone, Jake doesn't dare to make an inappropriate comment and follows you while you go to the backshop. Cora looks at you from afar, completely confused by the angry expression on your face - you haven’t told her anything about your discovery, feeling too ashamed.

Once you close the door behind Jake, you cross your arms on your chest and glare at him.

“So, what’s up ?” Jake casually asks.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” you start, trying so hard not to scream, “I thought you were too tired so why were you at the Scented Sky ?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t try to outwit me ! A week ago, I asked you if you wanted to come to my place to which you gave me the stupid excuse of “I’m too tired to come”. And yet, when I went to the bar, I saw you, in great form.”

At your last sentence, Jake’s eyes widen, panic visible on his face. His brain tries to find a rational explanation however before he can say it to you, you quickly add.

“And do I need to specify you weren’t alone when I saw you ? You were with the woman from the Hard Deck. You know, the same woman you didn’t know at all. And not to mention you were kissing her.”

“I have a good explanation,” he fastly says.

“Oh yeah ? Which one ?”

Jake stares at you and chooses his words carefully before speaking, as if he was in front of a wild animal. He never saw you mad before. He didn’t even think it was possible so he doesn’t know the way you could react if what he says came out wrong.

“She was flirting with me again and before I could react, she kissed me.”

“I just told you I saw and you keep taking me for a fool ?” you retort, shocked by his lie. “You were the one who pressed his lips on hers, your hands were on her hips ! How can you think I’m gonna believe what you’re telling me ? How could you do this to me ? I thought we had something !”

“I…”, he stutters before starting with a calm voice, “Look, I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship, nothing was official between us and-”

“And I get it !” you cut him off sharply, “But It doesn’t give you the right to make me believe you care about me just for you to go see someone else. You know, if you had told me you weren’t ready for a relationship and you wanted to meet other women at the same time, I would have told you I didn’t want that and we would have called it quits ! You haven’t been honest with me when I’ve given you everything ! You’ve betrayed my trust just like the others.” you sigh, your eyes getting teary.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen. I swear I had the best of intentions.”

“If that is you with the best of intentions then I don’t want to imagine how you’d act if you didn’t care about the person ; you’ve ruined everything. You’ve taken me for an idiot for months and you have no remorse about it ! All I did was defend you, repeat to everyone you were someone nice and you’ve proven to everyone you live up to your reputation and that I am the stupid and desperate woman who only sees the best in the worst guys. Tell me honestly, were you even gonna tell me one day you didn’t want anything serious with me or were you gonna let me guess it by ghosting me ?” you question and Jake doesn’t answer. “Your silence says it all. I can’t believe I could have thought you were good. But, at least, you were useful for something. I had to learn to listen to my instinct when it tells me to walk out from a relationship instead of persisting. Thanks to you, I’ve finally learned my lesson. I hate you, Jake.” you pronounce, staring him right in the eyes. “I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“Y/N, wait-”Jake tries to say.

“No ! Leave and never talk to me again.”

Jake doesn’t add anything and leaves the room without looking back. Once the door is closed, you let your tears run freely down on your cheeks. You sit down, not having enough strength in your legs when the door opens once more, letting in Cora. She doesn’t wait before taking you in her arms. She affectionately strokes your back while you’re sobbing.

“I didn’t know what I was doing. You were right, Cora.”

“I wish I wasn’t.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“He’s the stupid one here, he doesn't know what he’s lost.”

Cora’s words should be comforting and yet, it makes you feel worse. Jake might not know what he’s lost but you sure do know what you’ve lost, time, love, energy and above all, trust. You know you’ll need time to heal from it.

And indeed, you need several months before you can spend a day without thinking about Jake. Now you can finally start to move on. This relationship, though short, has left a trace in your heart, just not like you wished. Since your split-up, you’ve decided to put yourself first instead of waiting for a man to show you his love. You need to understand what you want and what you deserve in a relationship and you can only do that alone. You need to know how to exist and to love without depending on the gaze of a significant other. 

For the first time in your life, you are your own priority and you feel good as a single woman. You wouldn’t be against the idea of living your epic love story one day but you are satisfied with your current life. You’re self-sufficient and that is the most beautiful confession of love you could ever have.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Part two

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Kristen Applebees Season 1 Character Playlist BREAKDOWN

OKAY, SO this one is gonna be an ordeal.

I set a 6-song limit for every other playlist I made, but this is the playlist that started it all. So, I didn't have a limit. So it's 12 songs long.

Which is honestly like a normal playlist length BUT it's gonna be a long breakdown which I will lovingly do because I LOVE Kristen with my whole heart. Either way, this is deffos gonna be a long post so read if you want (i would very much appreciate it obvi but I get this is pushing it).

Genres Included: Folk, Singer-songwriter, Alternative, 80's

1. Save the People, The Mountain Goats

When wilt thou save the people? Oh, God of mercy, when? Not kings and lords, but nations Not thrones and crowns, but men God save the people For thine they are Thy children as thy angels fair Save the people from despair

Starting off strong with my main man John Darnielle. John, as prolific as he might be, did not write this song it is originally from the musical Godspell by Steven Schwartz. I was raised as a theater kid and I remember one summer my mom took out our cable and the only things we could watch on the tv were dvds and vhs tapes of musicals, and the 1973 Godspell movie was definitely one of my favorites. Its like "what if Jesus was around in the 70s and was a hippie clown and also was crucified on a chain-linked fence and beaten by cops" ...ah, good times.

ANYWAYS, I don't feel like I need to get into why this is a perfect Kristen song - I feel like it really gets to the divide between the way that Christianity is taught to kids vs the way it is enacted by the adults that do the teaching.

2. Father Texas, Birdtalker

Father Texas on his toes Tells me where and when to go He's a savior, liturgy man He's a stickler and a soap monger Shove it down your throat Holy answer man He says obey and I'll love ya Now I'm doing just to prove And I'm walking out of fear But the devils done

Ok so I was raised Catholic, which I feel like is a whole different flavor of religious trauma compared to Evangelical or Baptist vibes - which I feel like the Helioic religion gives. Either way, this song slaps and really gets to that Evangelical vibe.

3. Big Houses, Squalloscope

I build bridges with these arms I will not build a fortress In the circle around the kitchen table I say my "amen" because I feel blessed Secretly hoping, while joining hands, that you can't feel my trembling fingertips

Here's young Kristen Applebees - Chosen One of Helio- who just wanted to help people. She meets her first non-religious friends, plans to convert and save them, and then straight up dies on the first day of school. She comes face to face with her literal god, is disappointed and grossed out by him, and then is magically (and violently) revived.

Can you imagine her returning home, trying to answer her parent's questions about the first day, making it through dinner, crawling into bed, and just lying there? AHHHHHHHHHHH

4. Under The Table, Fiona Apple

I'd like to buy you a pair of pillow-soled hiking boots To help you with your climb Or rather, to help the bodies that you step over along your route So they won't hurt like mine Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up

Speaking of those family dinners, as the days go by and Kristen gets closer to her party, how do you think she's gonna react to whatever comments her parents make about them hmmmmmm? The result of coming out of your social shell and realizing how bad the people around you really are.

5. Cleric Girl, Sisyfuss

I need my cleric girl tonight So she can bless me in this plight Dress me in crucifixes so they die on sight I need my cleric girl tonight

This is just a fun song I see as Kristen finds her groove within the party, kinda around the DJ brains fight. Also it makes me think of the prayer chain thing that she had the whole party on at some point.

6. Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos

She knows what's going on Seems we got a cheaper feel now All the sweeteaze are gone Gone to the other side With my encyclopedia They musta paid her a nice price She's putting on her string bean love This is not really, this, this This is not really happening

There's something about a Tori Amos song that never fucking misses. This song, for me, kinda gets at the part of growing up when you really start to uncover the truth of things for yourself, instead of listening to the things you were always told. Kristen buys the book of world religions and reads about the atrocities people did in her god's name. She is also told that the "cool camps" she was going to were run by an actual fanatical cult. Yikes.

7. Eldest Daughter, Isabel Pless

Bring me your battered, your bruised, and your scarred Florence Nightingale, to your broken hearts Bring me your bleeding I'll stitch it up with a bow Tugging at the sword in the stone The dormant hero in me is yet to be known Dying to prove myself again, but I don't know how Wanna lay my weapons down Lay my weapons down Want everyone to adore me even though People's emotions are out of my control Smothering fires Letting flames claim my hands I would do anything to be needed Over and over again.

Okay, the thing about this song is that we get the root of it here in season one, and it shows up really lightly, but God almighty, do we get one hell of a payoff in the next two seasons. Damn. The first time I listened to this song I cried. It's on several of my dnd character playlists - because, for some reason, I can't stop making dnd characters with self-saccrificing tendencies. HM! I WONDER WHY?

But anyways, yeah... something something, Christian households raising their eldest daughters to be surrogate mothers and laborers, something something Kristen is a cleric while her brothers are paladins, something something Women being healers

8. Angel Eyes and Basketball, Foot Ox

There are flowers growing all around A massive animal inside of me And it's so ugly, and I'm so broken And I'm so ugly, and it's so broken I am calling all of my friends To pull me out of this hole But they're so caught up in their own shit And I'm so caught up in my own shit

Ok, this is full Christian guilt. I also really like the way this song is one of those upbeat but devastating ones because it makes me think about her inspiring speeches to her party members just being her ranting about how horrible everything is, and then they get +1 to attacks and extra hitpoints. Living La Vida Loca.

9. We Fell in Love in October, girl in red

Smoking cigarettes on the roof You look so pretty, and I love this view Don't bother looking down, we're not going that way At least I know I am here to stay We fell in love in October That's why I love fall Looking at the stars Admiring from afar

Ok, I know this is cheesy. BUT TO MY CREDIT: both the song and the season came out in 2018. Also, you know Kristen would stream the fuck out of this song.

10. Running Up That Hill ( A Deal With God), Kate Bush

And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road, be running up that hill With no problems

AGAIN TO MY CREDIT: I made this playlist in 2020 - two years before Stranger Things brought the song back to the general psyche. No shade, of course, to the stranger things; it's a perfect song to choose, and the scene effectively made me cry.

But anyway its here because at her bones, Kristen would die for her friends and has and will (unfortunately) continue to. Speaking of

11. Arms Tonite, Mother Mother

I cry in the afterlife I cry hard because I have died And you're alive I try to escape afterlife I try hard to get back inside Your arms alive

Kristen's dying count is more than double most of her friends at this point - and golly gee just wait till season 2!

Can I roll a nat 20 and then be alive?

12. Glory (Bunker Sessions), Bastille

And all their words for glory Well, they always sounded empty When we're looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven Way down here upon the ground When we're lying in the dirt There's no looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven

I really love this bunker session version of this song; the strings and the piano just give it a lovely honesty. Gorgeous song. Perfect way to end this season