#i broke down entirely
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#vent#on mobile#so dont know how to make a read more#whatever#just had a mental breakdown#pretty sure i scared my professor#i really hope he doesn't go to the school mental health thing#my other professor would#i just want to be told what to do#not make my own choices#i hate being in charge#i broke down entirely#i hate tuesdays and thursdays so much#i hate my art class#i dont want to write#i dont want to make these stupid art projects#i just want to stop working on school work#i fucking hate this so much#just give me a prompt so i can work#i dont want open ended shit#or to be given the ability to make my own questions#i hate this so fucking much#just let me graduate#before i do something fucking drastic#...
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I hc that after Bruce’s infamous spine-breaking fight with Bane, all the Batkids pitch in and get Bruce one of those super bougie gamer chairs for the Bat-Computer. Like this thing is all leather, it’s got cup holders and LED lights, and that bad boy swivels smoother than butter.
It’s also bright fucking red. Robin red.
#Bruce hates it but it has great back back support and after he broke his spine he NEEDS to be comfy in that chair#he pouts for an entire week abt it#all his kids cackle#I bet they also put a bunch of stickers on the back that say I love Gotham and stuff like that#Barbra feels bad and gets him a file cabinet as an actual glad-you-aren’t-dead present and Bruce loves that infinitely more#I love silly grumpy dad bruce Wayne#dc#dc comics#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#dick grayson#batfamily headcannons#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#barbra gordon#stephanie brown#Duke Thomas#cassandra cain#bruce wayne headcanon#batdad#batman family#black bat#batfam#batman comics#OH and bruce does the signature dad groan whenever he sits down
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how. how am i supposed to survive when THIS
is how stolas and vias relationship ends for the season. how. i have my head in my hands. i cannot do this.
#guys#vias song ate so hard#but#i have tears running down my face#jesus fucking christ#im DEVESTATED#the entire time via and stolas were fighting was.#heartbreaking#and the end#stolas's sobbing#broke me#hats off to the voice actor#BUT STILL#holy shit i just want them to be okay#i cant do this.#sinsmas#helluva boss#stolitz#octavia#stolas#helluva boss sinsmas#hb sinsmas
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i just remembered that canonically, sirius got to godrics hollow after hagrid.
which means that after he had his godson taken away from him (bc lbr that’s exactly what hagrid and dumbledore’s orders basically did) then he went into the house and saw james and lily’s dead bodies alone. no buffer in the form of harry crying out for his parents or even the godfatherly instinct of making sure his kid is alright.
he was there, with his brother and friend’s cooking body, all alone. stewing in grief and pain and rage and guilt. ALONE.
do we even know how long he was there? for all we know, he could’ve been catatonic right there besides james all day.
#sirius black#james potter#like. it hit me bc we usually do the whole ‘harry’s crying took him out of his shock’ scene#which i love ofc#and what i’ve always read#but in reality#sirius DIDNT have that#he was in his head the whole time#do u hear that sound#it’s my heart shattering in a million pieces#can u imagine????#sirius’ ENTIRE WORLD#LYING THERE#D E A D#and then imagine the onslaught of guilt#that it was HIS fault#is it any wonder he tracked down peter????#that he broke down in hysterical laughter when he was caught#like ‘OF COURSE i fucked this up as well i can’t do anything right’#he lost harry too u guys 😭😭😭#he wasn’t even reckless he was just so so grief stricken#that literally nothing mattered#god i have so many thoughts ab this rn#so many feels#once again i am unearthing more tragic reasons to cry ab sirius blck tonight#i have been in a Mood these days huh#pen’s notes
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Dysfunctional family au— showdown aftermath, one week later
#art-zu#animation vs animator#animator vs animation#Dysfunctional family au#I decided to name the au dysfunctional family au cuz why not#This is the au where blue hour happened#Not entirely canon in the au just yet im still not sure if i wanna keep this scenario or not#But i drew it anyway cuz i was having thoughts#I hope its very clear that chosen wanted to strangle second here#Cuz what do you mean you dont know you dont know our brother died? You dont know you killed my brother? My brother my first best friend my#little brother you killed him and you do not have the decency to remember it? How dare you how dare you how dare you how dare you how dare y#Anyways second broke down. Chosen comforted them and sent them to sleep all the while he's mad at second. Mad at dark. Mad at dark for how#second turned like this. Mad at himself for letting this happen. Just mad mad mad mad mad mad seething furious upset vitriol in his blood#Poison in his lungs hole in his heart and it aches it aches it aches it aches it aches it aches it aches it ach#Anyways i swear im normal BAHHAHAHAH
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you got a fast car // i want a ticket to anywhere maybe we can make a deal // maybe together we can get somewhere
#cp2077#cyberpunk 2077#cp2077 photomode#cp2077 screenshots#cyberpunk screenshots#cyberpunk 2077 photomode#cp2077 oc#cp2077 edit#masc v#male v#maddox de vasconcelos schaeffer#there'd be so many more pics of him in the badlands if the lighting there didn't wash him out to hell n back ngl#the amount of TIMES the shot ended up overexposing itself even though i had the game exposure cranked all the way down#and i ended up having to redo the lighting again and again but the overexposure wouldn't go away anymore#grr snarl etc#also the nibbles replacer broke for me so my new year's resolution of taking more couple shots is off to a bad start#tbh i imagine he's moving an entire truck full of server racks around when he's moving camp#anyway i think i'll reblog this with some more lore attached later
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did it hurt? no, not when you fell from heaven. when Jesper Fahey held it together until Inej left because he knew how hard it already was for her to leave
#this broke me#i was fine for the entire goodbye THEN HE BROKE DOWN AND I BROKE DOWN WITH HIM#YOU ARE MY FAMILY TOO JESPER#REUNITE THEM FOR THE ICE COURT HEIST PLEASE#THIS CANT BE THE LAST TIME THEY SEE EACH OTHER#jesper fahey#kit young#inej ghafa#amita suman#shadow and bone#six of crows#grishaverse#shadow and bone season 2#crooked kingdom#ruin and rising#siege and storm#soc spinoff
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Okay, bear with me for a moment here.
So we know He Xuan was supposed to be the one to ascend before Shi Wudu stole his fate and made Shi Qingxuan become the Windmaster to save him.
So He Xuan would've originally become the god instead, by that logic. And He Xuan knew what happened, he knew he was supposed to be the one to ascend etc - hence his entire vendetta against the brothers.
But then his ghost name now is Black Water Sinking Ships. So essentially, he turned the water element into something sinister and evil.
Who is the Water Master? Shi Wudu.
So why is it not something to do with wind if he knew that was the god who got the place originally intended for him? Because he actually doesn't resent Shi Qingxuan and doesn't blame him in the slightest for what happened. He took water here for a reason...
#obviously tin foil hat delulu time - but 'tis a thought#but I like to think he actually had a hard time doing all of this to Sqx#because deep down he actually doesnt hate him#and realized the guy is just clueless and frolicking about in the heavens#this entire arc broke my heart and I still cant let it go#;; rambles#mxtx#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#shi qingxuan#he xuan#ming yi#beefleaf#tgcf sqx
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Every time someone writes anything re: the Arrows (esp Ollie) and treat it like they have these like Bat-level strict morals or just otherwise being really "strictly principled"???? it drives me crazy. Like I don't wanna be "you haven't read the comics" but... They haven't.
Ollie, very famously, killed not only Parallax (something which was very difficult for him bcs Hal was his friend, for all their fighting), but also the Electrocutioner (for killing Lian, maiming Roy, and destroying most of his city). There was that whole thing in Crossroads when he worked with Huntress, Catwoman, and Deathstroke, and was killing criminals with guns! Killed a man torturing Dinah! Hell, even further, at least once he helped someone who he considered to have been justified in killing someone escape the law!
I'm pretty sure literally all of his proteges have harder lines than he does (Jason criticizes Mia for limiting her angles to non-lethal in Seeing Red, Oliver being shown to use more brutal methods in a team up with Roy in comic I admittedly don't remember the exact name of & Connor disapproved of Ollie training with the guy who trained Deathstroke to learn the "killing arts" re: 1YL, tho idr if that was more of a killing disapproval or a "dad, really, this guy is awful tho???" kinda deal. Uhhh... Emiko might be an exception to this probably, at least inasmuch as you can consider those two his proteges given I don't think Ollie really trained them that much/they mostly came to him like that). Hell, when Mia killed someone he wasn't mad about her killing so much as that it was her (an innocent kid) that did it!
In the marriage comic, Dinah had apparently killed Ollie in self-defense! (Before concluding that it hadn't been him despite all evidence to the contrary, ect., ect., ect.)
Roy worked for the gov't and definitely killed for them when it was called for. Fell in love with an assassin and walked away instead of turning her in or killing her like he was probably supposed to do despite knowing she'd likely go on to keep killing more people (You could call this a statement on his love for her, which on some level, yeah, but on the other level shows that his lines aren't so well-defined.) The only reason he hadn't killed the Electrocutioner himself is bcs Ollie got there first. For all the complaints re: RHATO/RH&A they are still considered current canon (to an extent, I think some specific things around it might be retconned?) & he has killed in there too.
Emiko as a former assassin/being trained & raised to be a "perfect killer" by Shado I feel is rather self-explanatory.
There's probably more but I'm runnin' out of steam here. Anyways. My point is that while they're not exactly actively murderous vigilantes, they FAR from have some kind of no-kill rule. They'll typically try something else first, but when lines are crossed (like their family) or there doesn't appear to be a better solution that would actually work, they're plenty willing. They're not "Batfam 2.0 but lamer and not as powerful," which seems to be the predominant interpretation most of the time.
#dc#dc meta#oliver queen#green arrow#Roy Harper#Arsenal#Red Arrow#Speedy#arrowfam#Mashing Meta Bones With Axel#yes Ollie did also have a mental breakdown the first time he killed an animal as a child and again later when he first killed a criminal#Both of which were Accidents. & after Parallax bcs Hal. & felt that he didn't fit with the JL anymore bcs of Crossroads.#& IIRC he did get imprisoned for Electrocutioner & accepted it w/o remorse#Mia also broke down after her kill! She begged Ollie to tell her it had to be done bcs that was the only reason she did it!#Connor is probably the Most Hesitant to kill in the entire family I think. Him &/or Mia. Possibly Lian but she also is Baby and should Not.#I am so so so so sos sos os sos so so so tired of fanon (esp batfanon) giving them a no kill rule#I Might be CURRENTLY more fixated on bats rn but my love for the Arrows is eternal.#Yeah they're largely liberal hippie freaks (said as an affectionate Joke) but. Not so liberal they ain't got a very sharp stick for badguys#or the occasional bullet. Which both Ollie & Roy have used at various points of their history.
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this is a scrapped scene from Trikaranos & originally it joined a standalone series of comics from Pompey’s point of view, but it got scrapped from THAT set too because I decided they both needed to be weirder and worse and this is kind of vanilla ngl. however I’m still kind of fond of it in some kind of way, and it’s been a second since I’ve posted a comic! also I wanted to draw it. so I did.
for context: Crassus cut his hand open helping Pompey out with something in a previous scene! for more context: the answer to Pompey’s question is a reliable (business/political) partner. that’s about it!
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#the hand wound was replaced with a thigh wound and conversation changes currently cuts Pompey’s question out entirely#and replaces ends with the ‘I can give him something that no one else can’ because the answer to the unspoken question of what#comes into play later with a really thorny scene#drawing tag#tris homines#Komiks tag#OOF. that was like stretching muscles or something. every time I do an ides drawing my brain wants nothing to do with#dead Romans at all and it takes a minute to break their that wall. I think last year was the worst one lmao it was 2 months#before I wanted to do anything and liked what I did. this was more like. I’m sleepy. I want to draw uptight men in suits get totally undone#and there are no suits in Ancient Rome#BUT WE DID IT. we broke through the wall. I’m going back to drawing men in suits.#anyway crassus’ hair is a little longer here and he’s going to cut it down but he kind of looks like his dad and I’m going to just#aughghghghh
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Man, I feel like every clip I see from Pints with Aquinas lately Matt Fradd is demeaning women. Really sad to see it, I used to love his interviews :/
#lilac rambles#pints with aquinas#matt fradd#catholic#if anyone knows of anyone who has adressed this (not a paid substack. im very broke rn and only looking for podcast type things)#please let me know about it#honestly it feels like every other day someone i really admired turns to our polarized culture of hate#i was watching his recent interview with jason evert and jason is saying all these beautiful things about how the women he's encountering#who are dressing immodestly or being promiscuous or engaging in the culture are deeply wounded and matt just keeps jumping in with all these#reminders that yeah thats great and all but dont forget women suck too#and like. we know! we know the ways we suck! the entire red pilled manosphere spends a lot of time pointing it out to us!#but if you dont want women constantly pointing out the ways men have failed us then for the love of goodness please stop taking every moment#where someone is talking about female woundedness to talk about Why All Women Except Your Wife And Friends' Wives Suck#im just feeling very let down
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Trying to write James and Lily Potter as parents is so funny for me, because partway through I realize that I’ve started writing them like my parents, and I’ll think “wow, girl, you really need to broaden your horizons, there are other types of parents and parenting styles out there,” but then I’ll think about it some more and realize, no, I’m pretty sure my parents are just James and Lily Potter
#my dad has dark hair and glasses my mom has (had) red(ish) hair#they met in high school absolutely hated each other on sight then started dating a year later#broke up and got back together 47 times through high school and college then got married fairly young#(at least it seems young to me)#my dad has an insane amount of dad lore—he was not a bully but WAS a notorious troublemaker#most of his exploits I will not include here because he might kill me but I will mention the time in high school where he filled a#super soaker water gun with crystal pepsi and sprayed down the entire brass section of the marching band and ruined all of their#instruments.#my mom on the other hand is a compassionate rule-follower who was very good at potions (majored in chemistry)#which leaves me: their firstborn with glasses who turned out way more serious than either of them expected as Bearer of the Curse#except my curse is autism *jazz hands*
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hi maca!! can’t believe hiuh finally ended, thank you for all your hard work! i was wondering if you could say more about what were the “wrong aspects” that laurent liked about maxime? also very curious in general about what paschal thought about laurent being with maxime or getting back together with damen. thanks!!
hi there!!! so, i didn't write maxime as a villain or anything in this fic so I don't want anyone reading this to think that he's Mr. Evil or a literal step-in for Laurent's uncle.
having said that, I love the idea of maxime toeing the line, you know? like he's not abusive but he's not attentive either. he's Into the Patriarchy (TM) in a different way than Damen, so not only does he not think to ask what laurent likes in bed or what his limits are, but he also has a rougher approach to sex (think typical porn video titles, "likes it rough" vibes, maaaaybe refuses to wear a condom like nicaise implied throughout the fic and laurent never denied).
so the "wrong" aspects laurent might have liked about maxime have to do with not having to really think around him (not bc l's being vulnerable, but bc he just disconnects and dissociates from the entire situation.) see: they go out for dinner, he doesn't even have to pick a place bc maxime will do it, doesn't have to pick a dish bc maxime will do it, doesn't have to think about sex positions bc maxime will just jostle them both into what he likes, etc. aaaand last but not least, laurent likes that it hurts. it's a form of self punishment, too. "you THOUGHT you could have nice things? you thought sex with people who aren't damen was going to be good? ha" and, later on, when he starts realizing damen is changing and getting better every day and growing, it turns into "this is your reminder that you fucked up".
: ) hope this was interesting to read!!!! thank you sm for the question!!!!
#anon#hiuh#about paschal: i picture him like ??? the entire time lmao#but also its my headcanon that he told laurent to TALK to damen pre breakup like sit him down for real#give him a real ultimatum#anything#and laurent just exploded one day and broke up with damen and then went to therapy like hi........ hi . . .. . i.... did a thing
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When you were taught to be quiet all your life so when people scream at you to say something... you don't know how.
#my parents are rlly pissed at me because my dad asked me something and I didn't answer because I didn't like what he was asking me#which is kinda stupid on my part but I got kinda mad#and then my mom yelled at me in the car#to which i didn't say anything#and so that was a whole thing#and she was like “you're acting like such a teenager”#and i'm like “i am a teenager tho”#i didn't actually say that bc i didn't say anything the entire ride but wtv#i hate arguing with a burning passion omfg#once i broke down in tears at a public place because a bunch of people were yelling at each other in line#and now i have to go to this expensive debate camp at the end of the month#so that's gonna be great
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when your best friend on the planet ever scratches the surface of your autistic brain and picks out christmas gifts for you that feeds into your nerdy interests and favorite things.
@tallarurus 🫶
#so so so so so entirely grateful#i’ve never smiled so much opening my gift from her today i love everything so much#she got me a magneto 8-bit funko pop and his head bobbles#need to chew on his anti charles helmet#and she got me a tiny squishy shadow the hedgehog doohickey that i want to throw at the wall#SHE GOT ME A BOOK I MENTIONED I WANTED LIKE WEEKS AGO. AND INSIDE A STICKER OF A TOY I LOVED FROM A VIDEO I SHOWED HER .. MONTHS AGO#i’m jumping up and down as we speak i need to show how excited i am to have all these things#she also got me a tiny stuffed black cat that looks like my cat and i need to sleep with it every night#we play Ark together and i’ve been so adamant abt finding an otter bc when i first played it was the first animal i saw#SHE GOT ME A TINY OTTER KEYCHAIN IM SHITTING MYSELF#she made us friendship bracelets. mine says stan from south park (she’s my kyle)#and she made another set that says best bubs and i got the deadpool one#SHE GAVE ME HER 3D PRINTED DINOSAUR (sadly broke on the trip) AND HER TOOTHLESS DRAGON RING#I LOVE TOOTHLESS A Whole LOT#and finally i have a thing abt collecting stuff#i have a lot of trinkets and doohickeys and random shit strategically placed on my tv stand#SHE GAVE ME A BUNCH OF TINY TRINKETS AND DOOHICKEYS#autism be damned .. i’m peeing my pants i’m so happy#of course can’t forget the lovely drawings she made me#i’m hanging them up on my wall and i’m never taking them down#TALLY I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO MYCH I LOVE YOU FOREVER#HAPPY HOLIDAYS
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SO. I broke my foot.
#It has apparently been broken for. 2 weeks.#This explains why nothing felt better and when swelling went down I felt crunching#I took the fall to avoid rolling and breaking my ankle but I broke something else entirely because of course#So I will not be able to do sparring for a month and I'm trying to be real brave big adult and not cry about it
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