#i believe he'll survive but i also believe it will be after a near death experience and that he will have a violent aftermath

[escapedaudios]

God I need to bullshit another reason to get Scythe Audio to do heavy metal screams and growls in one of my audios again. If he wasn't already playing the Grimest Reaper in My True Love is Dead I'd invent a metal-themed slasher for him to play. Slash's gallery of rivals is already full of quirky villains with themes and gimmicks. A heavy metal slasher would actually rule.

Maybe I could just ressurect the lead singer of Bruderhof Death Machine as a ghoul and upgrade him from a side character that died after two minutes to a full character.

Uhhh ok I'm entering a stream of consciousness now. I'm gonna yap about My True Love is Dead. So far I have a few official character estsblishesd.

Killer Ride (aka the Route 66 Killer)

Motorcycle themed villain. She rides a ghoulish motorbike with a frame of bones called The Murdercycle. It's gas tank is filled with the tormented souls of her victims, and it's powered by their eternal screams. When the revs up her engine, you hear them wailing alongside the roaring sound of the engine. Her main weapon is a whip made from an oversized motorcycle chain with a dagger at the end, when she cracks her whip it moves faster than a bullet and makes sonic booms as it strikes. Her biker jscket has shoulder pads made from human skulls. She's campy and outrageous and larger than life cool and I love her even though she only exists in my outlines right now.

The Ace of Blades (aka the Great Plains Killer)

A rebellious slasher that defies the mandates of the Grimest Reaper. He's unspeakably evil. He spent 100 years in hell before his first ressurection as a ghoul. He spent so long in hell that hell itself follows him wherever he goes. Cracks bursting with flames and magma open in the ground where he steps. His weapons are two flaming sabers and his deceased victims follow him around as possesed skeletons and zombies bound to his vile will. They rise from the ground where his feet split the earth, and beg for death as they carry out his orders. He's the final boss and so unbelievably evil that even slashers find him despicable. Killer of virgins, killer of killers, and killer of all witnesses. There are no legends about him among mortals, because no one has ever survived him.

Demon Candy Undead (aka the Underground Killer)

Demon Candy, returned to life as a ghoul and servant of the Reaper. Enthusiastically obedient to the mandates of the Grimest Reaper, even more deranged and cruel than she was in life. Enamored by spectacle and flair, she records and disseminates her murders through VHS tapes that she leaves around for people to find. Dazzling and darkly glamorous, she's a charismatic showman that turns her cruelty into entertainment for the sick and twisted. Believers in her legend idolize her in a cult-like fashion, and capture living victims that they leave as offerings for her to collect and trap in her cruel games.

The Grimest Reaper

The master of Slash and The Basher. He never breaks a promise or a deal, but always makes sure that deals are in his favor. One of the only characters that is aware of worlds outside of his own. All universes have a Reaper. Some are kind ferrymen between life and death, others are cruel forces of terror. He is the most cruel one of them all. All who serve him must obey his mandates, or else be hunted down by his other servants with their souls devoured by him.

Some other reapers exist in my other universes! You've already seen one. Father Ernst from Der Wolfsjäger is an Angel of Death, though he'll never admit it to a mortal. It's only ever implied shortly before he appears, when Jäger explains that you can hear a holy choir of the dead singing when Death is near. Swan Song from Neon Memoriam is also a Reaper. She hasn't appeared directly yet, but she's been around. When Raven was dying in Neon Wings, she was there. The only reason Raven didn't die was because Crow was keeping her from taking Raven's soul, even though he didn't know it yet.

[destinationtrekk]

I want a long explanation of Albert's mental state after re5, you know....ummm, I mean, how much does his behavior and actions change? How will he feel about himself? Will he suffer from depression or such disorders? How will be his relationship with the reader?

I hope I didn't bother you ❤️❤️

awh, asks are never a bother!! wi will say I think @nshtn is much better at describing wesker's psyche than me, but my version of post re5!wesker (i call him uroboros!wesker) is different than theirs.

also holy shit this is 1200 words, i don't know what happened

i think immediately after re5, there's no change. physiclly, he's incredibly weak and in near-constant pain as uroboros heals him. you dote on him religiously, desperate to keep him alive as well, and this is what begins his mental shift. it does take a few months, but he slowly comes to realize how much he needs you past his surface level sexual desire and trust in you as a "lackey" basically

not that he never felt affection for you, but he certainly labelled it as something superficial - what one would feel for a pet, perhaps. now that he has nothing to do except sit around and feel sorry for himself and struggle with his feelings toward his own virus in his body, he feelings for you morph quite a bit.

but first, his self-perception. after spending his life comparing himself and those around him to Spencer, he had a serious ego problem and god-complex. he literally calls himself a god in re5, and gods don't lose the game - except he did. i think wesker sees the world as pretty black and white. you're either an asset or an enemy, worthy or a waste, and the only time in his life when this mindset fractured was in stars.

he saw many, many people as an officer who made genuine mistakes that put them in awful situations - criminals who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and victims who just wanted a way out. he finally had a glimpse of humanity's reality, that regular people had to fight to survive like he did, except they get to be happy when they survive something. he never had that. it was survive or fail, and you don't get to be happy about it when your only other option is to die. i think marcus' death absolutely had to do something to his psyche as well, definitely as a motivator to 'stay on the path paved for you, and be obedient, or bad things will happen."

so in stars he feels conflicted emotions about the reality of his childhood, but they're temporary and quickly get repressed again as his life goes on. they resurface post-re5 because he sees how you interact with others, and he really has nothing else to do except to think about it.

this obsession with analyzing his own upbringing couples rather poorly with his feelings for you, now fully fledged as romantic and devoted. of course, he refuses to say anything. he now believes that he's worthless, a failure, and his life's work has been utterly destroyed. wesker is the kind of person who needs a goal and clear objectives, and without them he feels like he'll drown in his own thoughts. which is exactly what he's doing!

you notice his odd behavior immediately, from the way he refuses compliments that used to make him cocky, and how he rarely (if ever) asks you for anything. you were basically his assistant before, and now he apologizes for even having a harsh tone with you. he can't fathom how you care so deeply for a failure like him, and why you aren't using helping to save his life against him. because that's what people do, right? they take and give and everything has to be a favor that helps you climb to the top.

well, you never actually cared about him being on the top, so you take it upon yourself to confess first. surely he's always known how you felt about him, smirking at your blushing reactions and lusty stares, but he reacts bad when you finally tell him. he thinks this is how you're making him repay for saving his life, by humiliating and debasing him for his romantic attachment to you.

this is a shock to you, because you thought he was moping out of self-pity, not a midlife, self-exploratory bout of depression. it hurts both of your feelings - he thinks you've played him by being kind for something in return, and you're heartbroken that the man you love doesn't trust you anymore.

it takes a while for him to come around. you double down on your affection and explanations, trying to dismantle his fragile mindset piece by piece. he's resistant, somehow convincing himself that he's trapped in some sick mind game that you're manipulating, because he's too thick to just give in. he doesn't know how to accept love or, frankly, get the fuck over himself. yes, he failed. yes, his life's work is kind of ruined. but he has a new lease on life, if he would just accept it.

what finally pulls him out of this spiral is a kiss. you've been pleading with him for days, trying to get him to just talk to you and work this out, because you can't keep living in this emotional hell. he's snippy and rude and exhausted, because he feels the same. he can't bear to be around you anymore, so he tells you to leave him the hell alone. you're in his new office, having switched safe houses a few times until you could finally settle, and this most recent, permanent move is why you've been so upset.

why does he think you're sticking around? he still has access to nearly all of his resources, if he really wanted you gone he could leave without telling you. he's well healed now, except for a few things he'll likely deal with forever, but he's keeping you around. he knows he can't let go of you, but he's still so resistant to everything you're offering.

he's standing hunched over his desk, hands white-knuckling the dark mahogany, broad shoulders and back facing you so he can hide him expression from you. his voice is strained, like he's barely holding himself together while you're openly crying. this is unbearable, but you comply with his wishes.

your last move is to walk closer, your hand lightly settling on his elbow while you press your forehead to his bicep, seeking any tiny sliver of comfort you can find in him. you leave a gentle kiss on his arm, as well as a wet patch of your tears, before you walk away, silent except the heartbreaking sound of your sniffling.

this shatters him. he spends the rest of the day destroying himself, but he vows it's the last time he'll wallow in misery. it takes time, but he slowly begins to open up to you, admitting to his poor mental health and struggles with finding purpose. how he can't fathom your love for him, but he can't fight his own attachment to you either. he cries when you kiss his lips for the first time, but he fails to hide his smile when you pull away.

later in life, years after the devastation that was Kijuju, he's a different man. he's still a little flighty and calculating, but he's fast to comfort and reassure you, expressing himself freely and communicating instead of lashing out or pushing you away. you both still work on...well, everything. your lives have been tragic and painful, especially his own, but he's never felt so secure as he does with you. he truly loves you, and he'll do anything he can to keep himself from ever hurting you again.

[snowyslytherinowl]

Joyous Nightmares - Part 1

PAIRING: Severus Snape x (Professor) Reader

SUMMARY: A year after surviving the Second Wizarding War, Severus Snape begins to have joyous nightmares where he dreams of having a wife and a daughter. These dreams bring him nightmares because he doesn't believe that he'll ever get married or have a family of his own. So what happens when the wife in his dreams is revealed to be you?

Warning: Nothing heavy, but there are some mentions of death. Angst and nightmares are also featured.  This is my first fanfiction for Harry Potter. I hope you enjoy it!

Part 2 | Part 3

*GIF isn't mine

Severus has had nightmares for as long as he can remember. As a child, he dreamt of his parents arguing and his father hitting him when drunk. Then his nightmares focused mainly on his rejection from Lily, and Potter and Black bullying him. Sometimes they would trip him in the hall, causing his trousers to fall off, and other times Potter would make him kiss the ground and eat the dirt while Lily watched. As he grew older, he dreamt of Lily’s death. After the Second Wizarding War, he relived his near-fatal attack by Nagini almost every night. But about a year after the war ends, Severus starts to have nightmares about a much different topic. 

Severus is sitting on his bed when he hears crying. He walks down a hall in a house, one that looks much different than the one in Spinner’s End, to the source of the crying: a baby. He opens the door at the end of the hall and sees a small infant flailing around the crib. Gingerly lifting the baby from the bed, he cradles the baby in his arm and places their head on his shoulder. He doesn’t know why or how, but he knows that the baby is a girl and that she’s his daughter. He gently bounces her up and down and sits in a rocking chair. 

“Hush now. Daddy is here,” he whispers and kisses her forehead. “You have nothing to fear. I will always protect you.” He holds the little girl closer to him, and soon she falls asleep in his arms. 

Severus wakes up in his bed in his private chamber at Hogwarts. Although he has dreamt of much more horrific, much more gruesome things, this dream leaves him feeling immensely worse. He has been bullied and seen death in the real world, so seeing it in his mind’s eye at night is no different than experiencing it. But dreaming of cradling his own tiny baby girl? That leaves him with a gaping hole in his heart, a hole he cannot mend because he will never have a family. Pathetic, greasy-haired Severus, forever condemned to loneliness. 

He pulls the covers back up his chest, turns on his side, and closes his eyes. No matter how much he tosses and turns that night, he can't fall asleep until dawn. 

XXX

Several nights later, Severus has a similar dream. 

He’s back in the same house. With a quick peek through the window, he can tell that this house is in the countryside with its green, sprawling valley. Severus turns to the little girl in the highchair, who is now eight or nine months old. He dips a spoon into a jar of baby food and tries to feed it to his daughter, who purses her lips and turns her head.

“Do not be picky. This is delicious,” he says and puts the spoonful of baby food into his mouth. No, he was lying about the delicious part. “Perhaps it does not taste good, but it is good for you. My Half-Blood Princess must grow to be healthy and strong.”

Even though his daughter giggles at her nickname, she still refuses to eat the food. “Fine. I did not want to fall into temptation, but you are forcing me.”

Severus takes a small cauldron from the cupboard, which is no bigger than a large bowl. He puts the jar of baby food and spoon into the cauldron and uses his wand to make steam rise from the cauldron. He swirls his wand over the cauldron, pretending to stir it, and casts a fake spell of gibberish words. 

Severus’s daughter breaks into a giggling fit and bounces up and down in her high seat. Severus can’t help but smile and laugh at her joy. He uses his wand to lift a spoonful of baby food from the cauldron and towards the little girl, who finally opens her mouth and eats. 

He never thought himself much of a fatherly figure, but these joyous nightmares have made him realize how desperately he wishes to have a family of his own. Every time he visits Hogsmeade, he stares at the small children accompanying their parents at shops or playing in the playground. Even though he doesn’t show much love to the people around him, he somehow knows that he would shower his own child with love and affection. 

Severus decides not to go back to sleep. There are two hours until he must make his way to the Great Hall and he still has essays to grade. Anything to get his mind off the baby, though a small cauldron in the corner of his room ensures that the hole in his heart remains open.

XXX

Over the next few months, Severus has dreams about his child almost every night. In every dream, he watches her grow up, even if it’s by a month or two. Nothing particularly profound happens; they merely participate in average daily activities. Once he dreams that she plays with a toy wand set that emits tiny colorful sparks. Another time she sits on his lap as he reads to her and wrestles his hair from her tiny fingers. That one makes him feel especially pained as he’s always felt insecure about his hair, and he can’t imagine a baby happily playing with it. 

After a particularly hard day of disciplining dunderheads and spilled potions, another person joins his dreams. 

Muggle baby strollers are quite the invention, Severus thinks as he pushes his sleeping daughter around the main square of the nearest town. Stores here display all types of clothes, as well as chocolate boxes and snack bags; however, he doesn’t see anything suitable for his wife’s birthday. 

Finally, Severus spots a beautiful dark green pendant through a jewelry shop’s window. An idea pops into his mind about how he can transform this simple Muggle pendant into something enchanting for his wife.

He buys it, then spends the rest of the day locked in his study working on magically connecting the pendant and a journal. He charms the pendant to heat up and display messages Severus writes in the journal. This way, Severus can send short messages to his wife no matter where he is. “I love you,” he writes in the journal and watches it slowly appear on the green gem. 

“What do you think?” he asks his daughter when he enters the living room. She giggles and grasps the chain of the necklace, which Severus takes as a yes.

“One day, I will give you one of your own, my Half-Blood Princess.”

A wife. A wife whom he loves. A wife that loves him, too, even if he has no proof to support his theory. A wife who he loves enough to have a baby with. A wife who he knows he will never have. 

Since he started having these joyous nightmares, he has recognized that the existence of a wife would appear at some point. Though when she finally does, he’s caught off guard. He thought that as an adult, he would finally grow out of the nervous, insecure person he was as a child. But he’s thought wrong; a fist squeezes his heart as he thinks about how lonely and unlovable he is. His hand wanders to the pillow on the other side of the bed as he imagines a wife lying beside him. He wishes that he could hold her, kiss her, and love her. But who would ever be attracted to his oily hair and sallow skin, or not be appalled by his deeds as he served the Dark Lord? 

Tears have threatened to spill after waking from his past dreams. This time, though, the tears overtake him and sobs wrack his body. 

XXX

Steps sound from around the corner. Severus prepares to berate the student he catches, but he stops short when he spots you. “Hi Severus, you can go to bed. It’s my night to patrol the corridors, remember?” 

Severus doesn’t have many friends at Hogwarts, or anywhere for that matter. But out of the few people he can rely on, you are one of them. You frequently eat lunch with him and sit beside him for meals. You’re always there for him to talk to, though you aren’t pushy. He appreciates you more than you likely appreciate him.  

“I know,” he says a little too harshly. “I thought I should help since I could not sleep.” Do not want to sleep is more like it, he thinks. 

You don’t take offense to his harsh tone. “That’s nice of you. Are you having nightmares, perhaps? Are the ghosts in your dreams giving you too much grief?” You give him a gentle smile and Severus feels a warmth spreading over his body. 

“I consumed too much caffeine,” he lies. 

“Don’t I know the dangers of drinking too much tea before I go to bed.” 

You two patrol the corridors as he listens to your stories of catching students out of bed and making fools of themselves in class. He rather enjoys being in your presence, a warm welcome from his joyous nightmares. 

It seems too soon when your patrol is over and you head in different directions to return to your chambers. Determined not to fall asleep, Severus spends the rest of his time until breakfast grading essays. He has never physically seen his dream wife; he only writes to her or prepares dinner or breakfast for her. Unfortunately, his eyes feel too heavy and he eventually succumbs to sleep. 

It’s a beautiful day and Severus chases after his daughter, who runs through the valley outside their house. He finally catches up with her when she drops to the ground, picking at something. “I got you!” he yells after he grabs his daughter and lifts her into his arms. 

“Daddy!” she giggles and presents him with the flowers she has picked. “For you!”

He takes the bundle from her dirt-stained hands and smiles down at her. “Thank you, sweetheart.” He places her back down on the ground and kneels beside her. “How about you pick some for Mummy?”

“Okay!” His daughter runs around a little more until she picks the largest flowers in the valley and gives them to her dad for safekeeping. He lifts her back into his arms and walks towards the house. 

In the distance, he can see a woman by their house. He knows that it’s his wife, but the light from the setting sun and the shadow from the house blocks him from seeing her features. Severus uses one of his hands to shield his eyes from the sun glaring into his eyes and tells his daughter, “Wave to Mummy!”

Severus checks the time and jumps to his feet. He strains to discern the identity of his dream wife based on his memories of the dream but to no avail. He arrives at the Great Hall, takes his seat beside you at the High Table, and attempts to compose himself as he digs into his food. Why are you living under the delusion that this dream woman is a real person? Severus tells himself in his mind. If you ever see what she looks like, she will be an imaginary woman who only lives in your head. 

For a split second, Severus peeks at you from the corner of his eyes and imagines you as his wife blinded by the light from the sun. Deciding that it’s a dangerous path to take, he snaps out of it and goes back to nibbling his toast. 

You catch him looking at you and you ask, “Are you alright, Severus? You look like you didn’t get any sleep!” Oddly, he enjoys the concern in your voice and the furrowing of your brows. 

“I am fine,” he brushes off, but you’ve already poured him coffee and waved your wand at it. 

“Take this. It should get you through the rest of the day.” Severus grunts thanks and takes a sip. Normally, coffee makes him feel shaky and nervous as he unwittingly recalls his joyous nightmares. This coffee tastes different; it's sweet and makes him feel like he will stay awake and alert for the rest of the day. 

You talk to each other about your plans for the day until you finish your food and stand from your seat. “I’ll see you later!” you call from behind. For some indiscernible reason, Severus is looking forward to that. 

[eroguron0nsense]

Late Night Luffy's Dream Theory

So I've heard a fair amount of speculation about what Luffy's dream is after he becomes Pirate King, and by extension, what Roger's dream was (recall Yamato's flashback confirming that Luffy's dream–which Ace shared with him in their long tipsy conversation/totally not a night of passion–is "the same thing the Pirate King" said.) Fan speculation about Luffy's real dream ranges from things like "host the biggest party in the world", to "go to the moon", "make a country of pirates" etc but I've always found something fundamentally unsatisfactory about these, and I'll throw my hat in the ring to narrow down the possibilities.

To recap, the information we have about Luffy's dream is as follows: -Both times the dream is alluded to, it's at the end of what I and probably a bunch of other people personally conceive of as major sagas pre and post TS that both culminate in a major battle featuring EVERYONE WE'VE SEEN AND MORE –It's something that Roger, battle-hardened and well into his 40s or 50s–shared with Oden, that was documented in Oden's journal and partially inspired Yamato's unshakeable faith in Luffy –The Straw Hats, Ace, and Sabo are all shocked to hear it and ask if he's fully serious, but several of them support it immediately and the others remain protective over it and swear they'll see Luffy's ambition through. Jinbe, Nami, and Usopp are in disbelief, Chopper and Franky are excited, Robin is stunned, but looks hopeful or contemplative rather than derisive or amused, etc. –Ace and Sabo laugh as children, but swear to themselves that they'll protect Luffy's dream and won't let anyone mock it. As he's dying, Ace tells Luffy that he truly, truly believes Luffy will pull it off, and he's only sorry he couldn't see him make that dream a reality. –Shanks found it really funny, but is repeatedly shown stating he thinks that this ridiculous fucking child he met is going to be the future of the next pirate era, implying that he has some degree of faith in this child he (likely) recognizes as the inheritor of Roger's will Luffy's dream is repeatedly referred to as "crazy", or in some cases, "a child's fantasy", but also implied to be something really pure, ambitious, and highly unlikely but theoretically possible.

When I come up with fan theories, I tend to approach them less from a "textual evidence" standpoint than a "what would pack the biggest emotional punch and tie into the message/arc/etc that we've been shown thus far" one, and that tends to inform which popular ones I buy into (e.g. I am about 50-60% convinced that Law death will be a thing because, Chekhov's gun aside, Law's been in fucking crisis and unsure of what he'll do as his own man free of Cora's legacy and tries to emulate him in Wano. And while I think there's still a good chance he'll survive to the end for other reasons, there's also potential for a LOT of bittersweet beauty in him repeating what happened to him in childhood by quite literally passing on his heart and life to someone else). Considering what would be emotionally resonant and feel anywhere near as earned as what it's been built up to over two whole fucking sagas, Luffy's dream has to be something absurdly ambitious and thematically resonant. I do not think, if Luffy's dream were something like "I want to go to the moon", that Yamato would hold faith in him through impossibly oppressive circumstances, or that the audience would care like, at all. So if the dream is tied to something at the core of Luffy's character and the underlying themes of the entire series, what does Luffy represent, and what's the point of One Piece? Luffy is, at this point in the story and honestly long before, the embodiment of this sort of radical, almost anarchic humanism pervading the entire series that seeks to bring genuine freedom, joy, and peace to people everywhere he goes. Even before any divine or joy boy associations, he's a bringer of dawn, a warrior of liberation, and a worker of miracles because he sees injustice happening around him and instantly rejects it. He tears down oppressors everywhere he goes, and he's eventually going to bring that reckoning to the World Government and Blackbeard and every other might-makes-right, brutal, thoughtless hierarchical oppressor stopping their helpless victims from living free, full, happy lives. And critically, he's the inheritor of a crazy, radical dream that'll shake the world because god knows One Piece loves to talk about inherited will/dreams/legacy.

One Piece's broadly radical leftist humanism isn't based in naïveté either; it's very clear that this liberation is preceded by endless failures. Joyboy fails to stop any of what happens and writes letters of apology, Roger dies before he can realize the dream, and all the while countless atrocities are going on with at least 3 Islands we know of and two whole races having their genocides all but done to completion. Kuma suffers immensely waiting for the Dawn, and effectively loses his life and humanity before it can come, still holding on to his belief in Nika. But none of these things will stop the coming of liberation. Every genocide and attempt to purge the politically inconvenient–Ohara, Flevance, the Lunarians, the persecution of the Buccaneers–leaves survivors or inheritors, with Law, Kuma, and Robin in particular playing central roles in saving or aiding Luffy, the bringer of Dawn. The purge of Ohara fails to destroy the records permanently. The fucking biblical infanticides at Baterilla and the end of Roger's bloodline doesn't stop Luffy from inheriting Roger's will and his brother's legacy. Luffy isn't so much a predestined messiah as he is the inheritor of a legacy of resistance and hope that cannot be killed because as long as someone lives, they will dream of the brand of hope and justice that he embodies. No matter how hard you try, or how violently you suppress people, how many legacies or bloodlines or rebels you put to death, people will survive and carry on those legacies or pick up where your victims left off because you can't kill ideas, you can't kill truth, you can't kill dreams, and you can't kill the basic human desire for joy and freedom. I think the "Child's Fantasy" thing we see associated with Luffy's dream is key to this whole mystery. Wano's the arc in which we get the closest, most explicit declarations of Luffy's ideals, in which his core motivation for defeating Kaido–besides helping Momo and his friends seek justice and overthrow an oppressor–is to make sure everyone in the country can eat their fill. It's the kind of thing you wish for as a child–an end to world hunger, world peace, homes for the homeless, an end to prejudice–before a thousand and one adults feed you the lie that it's impossible to redistribute resources, that being crushed by hierarchical oppressive power is natural, or that some people are undeserving of life or basic rights and therefore deserve to be harmed by the powers that be. Before your parents and teachers and other people lecture you on the necessity of Authority and Capitalism and Hegemony or what have you and convince you that a certain number of people simply have to suffer and die to preserve the Proper and Legitimate Hierarchy, that the powerful deserve to be where they are and that victims of these systems deserve it. It'll be something very much like his hopes for Wano in the face of the oppression of Kaidou and Orochi, or the World Government creeping up on them afterward with Ryokugyu loudly announcing that the oppression of the have-nots is the rightful and good state of the world. It'll be a simple, basic hope for good things for him and his friends and all the great people they love, something perfectly possible and right and just and joyful that people have been raised to think of as an impossibility. A place where people can eat their fill, where there's water in parched lands, where people aren't being strangled by heavenly tributes. A world where they can be free. A reality where everyone can be happy, where dreams come true.

[unabashedly-so]

🌊 sailor!Elliott AU: Introduction ⛈️

Sailor!Elliott AU, inspired by Letters from the Atlantic by The Arcadian Wild...

content warning: storm exposure, near drowning, hospitalization, near death experience, depressive themes, emotional numbing

(also don't let the initial formatting fool you--this is not fanfiction. This is just a HC in a narrative format instead of the usual bullet points because I have a lot of Thoughts(TM).)

I’m being followed by the rain clouds My clothes are soaking up the pain that keeps pouring down Too much more and I may drown I’m being followed by the night sky It stole away my sight, it seems I have lost my way I need someone to be my guide...

-- "Rain Clouds" by The Arcadian Wild

You board the train for Stardew Valley, weary but eager to begin a new life on the old farm in Pelican town. The locals are friendly and lively, and when you make your way to the beach, you find an empty cabin in the sand...

When you meet Willy and ask about it, he shrugs. "It's where I stayed while Robin and I was buildin' my shop home on the pier. Now I s'pose it could be used as a shed or something..."

Your first season on the farm passes with lots of tears, sweat, and some blood, if you're the mining type. Summer only increases the sweat.

The locals forewarn of the Clockwork Storms--storm cells that always generate on Summer 13 and 26, every year, unfailingly. They warn they're usually the worst of the year and recommend you prepare accordingly and just bunker down with the rest of them.

Sure enough, Summer 13's Clockwork Storm hits with flashes bright as the sun and bangs that make the ground tremble.

Emerging on the 14th, you count yourself lucky that you only lost a few crops to the storm. On your way to Pierre's to recoup your losses, you hear some commotion from the beach. Curiosity and concern draw you to the source, and you hurry to the pier to find Willy hauling something out of his boat. A big something.

The closer you get, the thing starts to take the form of--

"He's still breathin', I think!" Willy grunts. "Come quick, help me get'm up on the deck."

You and Willy manage to get the man off the boat and onto the deck of the pier. The man's long, reddish-auburn hair is tied back in a frayed braid, and he's bare chested, his shoulders and back hot and beginning to blister from exposure. His olive green pants, once rolled at the bottom, are now ragged and torn. Willy was right--he is breathing, but it's shallow. He's gaunt and scalding hot to the touch, but alive, despite it all.

As you're assessing him, his eyes flutter open. He's dazed. It seems to take a great effort to even move his eyes. You're unsure if he's even conscious. Then his eyes land on you. There's a brief but vibrant spark, and you can't help but notice his eyes are the same verdant green that reminds you of your new home on the farm. His lips part as if to speak, but nothing comes out. His eyes flutter shut

You have the good sense to know that if this man's going to survive, he needs to be brought to the clinic--there's nothing to be done for him here. You and Willy manage to get him to the clinic where he's promptly tended to and given emergency, likely life-saving measures. After a tenuous hour or so, Harvey emerges and said that he believes the man has stabilized, but he's horribly sun poisoned and dehydrated, and that's just what he can tell on the surface. Harvey says he's working with limited resources, but he'll do everything he can to give the guy the best chance at pulling through. He encourages you to come by tomorrow and check in.

The clinic is closed for the rest of the day.

- - -

If you choose to return on the 15th, Harvey approves, and gives you the update that the man remained stable overnight, but he's still very weak and will likely wake up in a lot of pain. But he will likely wake up, Harvey reiterates with relief

- - -

If you choose to return on the 16th, Harvey approves, and says that the man seems to be recovering. He says there's brief flashes of consciousness and he seems to attend to questions, but he's still too dazed to speak. Harvey encourages you to come by again tomorrow. He anticipates he'll be well enough to interact with for brief periods of time.

- - -

If you return on the 17th, you'll walk in on Harvey assessing the man, who is now fully conscious. As predicted, he appears to be in a fair amount of pain, but Harvey is confident that it's just residual soreness and sunburns. Harvey introduces you as one of the people who helped save him.

The man takes you in with a weary gaze, one that soon softens and warms. He sounds breathless as he says, "Thank you."

The man quickly clears his throat, trying again. His voice is still weak and raspy, as he says, "Thank you... I owe you... my life." He swallows, a challenging thing. "Elliott," he manages, shakily holding his hand out.

You give your name, and reach to shake his hand. Instead, he gently draws your hand to him and kisses your knuckles with his sun-chapped lips.

Elliott winces as he lays back, visibly drained. Harvey encourages Elliott to go back to resting, and for you to return to your day. As you're leaving, you hear a weak, hoarse voice trying desperately to be heard.

"Come back..."

You turn around. Elliott has his eyes closed and is lying still. He takes another breath, then looks to you through a half-lidded gaze.

"...tomorrow?" Elliott finishes.

You nod.

- - -

If you come back on the 18th, Harvey and Elliott approve. Elliott is sitting up on the bed reading when you come in.

He looks up and greets you by name. It looks like he's been given the chance to wash up--he looks brighter, and his auburn reddish hair shines, tied back loosely at his shoulders and pulled to the side with less bandages on it. He's shirtless, skin almost as red as his hair, and you can see all the bandages across his shoulders and back.

What happened to your shirt?

(no change in approval) Elliott blinks. "It was too painful to keep taking it off and putting it back on again for bandage changes. I hope it doesn't bother you."

How are you feeling today?

(approval gain) Elliott gives a polite smile. "Moving hurts, breathing hurts… but I can do both, and for that I am thankful."

What are you reading?

(approval gain) Elliott lights up, flashing the cover. "Kind doctor Harvey was generous enough to lend me a tome from his collection. It's a collection of short stories he had left over from his undergraduate studies. Turns out we went to university around the same time, so it's been a wonderful trip down memory lane. And a relief that it wasn't one of his medical textbooks!"

ALL PATHS CONVERGE: "So… I'm guessing you're probably curious as to how I got here? Besides, of course, the part where you pulled me from death's doorstep."

From the other room, Harvey interjects, monotone, "You weren't on death's doorstep."

"Alright, then you pulled me from the speeding taxi to Death's neighborhood?" he lifts the end of the sentence, looking towards the sound of Harvey's voice for approval.

Harvey's voice comes after a pause, "Wordy, but accurate."

"We'll workshop it," Elliott calls back, then turns his attention back to you. "So, yes, I'm afraid it's not much of a story--unlucky wayfaring sailor caught in a bad storm… The Clockwork Storms, I'm told a bit too late. I've held my own against a few storms in my day, but this was… I didn't give my love the respect she deserves, and as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. A mistake I won't make twice!"

(A perceptive farmer notices a certain flippancy about his story that seems out of place for a man who otherwise appears passionate and verbose.)

He goes on, "Oh, [name], I've been meaning to ask--did you happen to find any of my possessions or a rucksack on me when you revived me?"

You shake your head, indicating it was Willy who got to him first.

"So Willy was the one who pulled me from the sea, and you helped him get me from shore to here? Oh dear, I really was succumbed. Ah well. I'll check with him tomorrow after I get discharged. It'd be nice to have my own clothes back, among other things.

"Thanks for stopping by. It means a lot. I've been many places, and so few as full of kindness as here. I do hope to get to see you again tomorrow."

- - -

Elliott gets discharged from the hospital on the 19th. If you enter Pelican Town before 5pm, you'll encounter Elliott leaving the clinic. He looked well-kept, freshly shaven, and his clothes have been laundered. He wears his same olive green pants and a plain white shirt. He'll flag you down and ask you to help him find his way around.

Sorry, I'm too busy right now.

(no change in approval) Elliott visibly deflates, but forces a smile. "Ah, well. I... suppose I've seen myself through larger ports than this. No matter, I'll find my own way..."

(the cutscene ends with Elliott meandering towards the east side of town, murmuring about finding Willy.)

I'd be happy to!

(Elliott approves) Elliott beams. "Splendid. I knew I could rely on your kindness to see me through."

A short montage style cutscene follows where the farmer appears with Elliott in front of the different areas in Pelican Town. He's shown having a few introductions to the people around town, having a little heart bubble over his head at the library, having a very lively conversation with Robin [about building boats], and going to Pierre's to stock up on a few things. Finally, the farmer walks Elliott over the bridge to the beach.

Elliott takes in a big breath of the sea air and releases it contentedly. "Back again... lovely place, when one's conscious enough to enjoy it."

You take him over to the docks near Willy's shop, and Willy enters the scene from the ocean on his fishing boat. Willy greets you and Elliott. He addresses Elliott, "I remember you sayin' you'd had some belongings so I went back to about where I'd found ya, accountin' fer a few days drift and whatnot, and poked around a bit..."

Willy steps out of his boat and onto the docks, handing him a plank of wood with splintered edges. It has the name of his boat painted on it, but you can't make it out before he puts it under his arm as Willy then hands him a battered and torn rucksack. "Found these. Thought you might like that back. The rucksack I saw was caught on a splintered piece of, well, what's now driftwood, unfortunately."

"I can't begin to thank you enough." Elliott begins to dig through the rucksack. "Once I can get the saltwater out of my town clothes, I'll feel so much more... Hmm." He frowns. "Where's...? I know I put it in here..."

Elliott continues to search. He kneels on the dock and takes out every article of clothing, a few pens, hair ties, soaked rations, and some spare g contained in the rucksack until it is flat and empty. His demeanor begins to falter. "Uh, Willy? A book. Was there a book? Brown leather, bound across the cover with a string, papers, envelopes, writing inside? Did you find anything like that?"

Willy can tell Elliott's becoming distressed. "I... I'm 'fraid not, nothing that I seen like that. I'm sorry."

Elliott stares at the contents of the rucksack. There's an immense heaviness to his features. He kneels there in silence, hardly moving, for a several moments. Finally, he says, "I... see." His voice is low, with no affect. He slowly, numbly, puts the items back in the torn rucksack. Once they're back in, he stands, a bit unsteady. He doesn't look at you or Willy, but you can see the rims of his eyes are red.

"Sincerely, thank you, both of you... I am just... That book was... important. I... need some time alone... please, excuse me."

Elliott walks off screen and the cutscene ends.

Elliott's sprite will remain sitting on the beach, unresponsive, for the remainder of the day. When it becomes dark, he'll move to one of the towels on the beach and lay down, still unresponsive. The game is set not to rain or storm on Summer 19 or 20th.

- - -

If you return to the beach on the 20th, Elliott will still be back to sitting by the water, unresponsive. Willy will approach you, saying he talked to Robin about getting a bed for the old cabin, and that he's gonna let Elliott stay there. He says he picked the best time to stay on the beach, but it won't be that way for long. Willy asks for your help to talk to Elliott. You nod.

You and Willy approach Elliott.

Alright, that's enough moping.

(no approval change) Elliott remains unresponsive.

Hey, there's a cabin you can stay in.

(no approval change) Elliott doesn't look up, distantly shrugs.

Elliott? It's [name] and Willy. We're concerned for you.

(no approval change) Elliott meets your gaze. His eyes are dull and red rimmed. His voice is raspy as he says, "Sorry?"

ALL PATHS CONVERGE: Willy clears his throat. "Ain't right to let somebody stay out in the elements without at least offerin' refuge." Willy motions to the cabin. "Robin'll be by with a bed soon. It ain't much, but you're welcome to use it for s'long as you need."

Elliott's mouth hangs slightly open as he looks between the two of you. He swallows, starts to speak but his voice is cracked. He clears his throat and starts again. "Truly? ...Your kindness knows no bounds."

Willy offers him a hand to help him get up and Elliott takes it, slow to rise. You and Willy walk Elliott over to the cabin and Willy opens the door, letting you all in. It's musty inside, but the sunlight coming through the window gives it a warm, cozy glow.

Willy excuses himself: "Lemme go see about that bed. I reckon she may have other furniture to spare too."

Elliott is quiet for a few moments when you are both alone.

Put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

(Elliott approves) Elliott almost flinches, then like melting ice relaxes into your touch. After a moment, he looks to you and says, "Thank you, [name]. I'm... at a loss for words."

I'll go see about helping, too.

(no approval change) As you turn to leave, Elliott stops you.

ALL PATHS CONVERGE: "I apologize for my... persistent moroseness. Give me a few days, and I'll come around. I'd be happy to speak more with you then."

Elliott is inaccessible for the next 3 days and does not attend any festivals during that time.

- - -

On Summer 23, he begins his normal routine.

He'll greet the farmer the first time they interact with a tired but optimistic smile. "Good to see you again, [name]. Thank you for your understanding earlier. Things still hurt, my heart chief among them, but if grief is love with nowhere to go, it's time to turn my sails to the wind and chart a new course. First things first, I need a new boat... time to get to work!"

If you talk to him again, he'll add, "I'll be keeping myself busy rebuilding, but don't let that turn you into a stranger. Stop by any time. Some company every now and then would be nice."

(end notes: I chose not to give any reactions to when he kisses the farmer's hand in the clinic because we all know what we're here for and it's not to be mean.)

sailor!Elliott AU inventory:

Introduction | General Overworld HCs | Heart Events 1-10 | Proposal and Marriage

[pomplalamoose]

ooooh I love the ESB relationship hcs!!! the perfect amount of fluff and angst <3 now how about your thoughts on ROTJ Luke...

Thank you so much, I'm happy you enjoyed them! Let's see what I come up with for ROTJ Luke👀

• let's take a quick look at the overall situation first

• just like in ESB, Luke is going through a lot and while he is able to take all these challenges head on, even coming out stronger on the other side, internally he struggles

• especially because he went through so much in such a little period of time after living a relatively sheltered life before (as sheltered as one can be while growing up on Tatooine of course)

• he's grieving not only the deaths of the people who raised him, but also those of friends and his two teacher/father figures (not even counting his ACTUAL father, that's a whole other topic)

• too often he thought his friends, his newly found family, dead and even faced death several times himself

• additionally it's only realistic for him to have major survivers guilt and blame himself for a lot that happened

• I also think he is haunted by the knowledge of how many people have died at his hands. Because of his force sensitivity he must have sensed how he alone was responsible for the disappearance of millions of little specks of light that once were living beings

• he believes that many could have been saved from the Empire's grip if only they had been made aware that turning their back and changing sides wouldn't have meant their death anymore

• he has compassion, even for his enemies and while that is a wonderful trait, it hurts him as well

• to sum it up: he's not having a good time

• now that we covered this, we again have to consider: for how long have you two known each other up to this point?

• if you have been with him since the very beginning or got to know him during ESB, the events that followed put your relationship to a hard test

• plus his demeanor, as well as he as a person, changed drastically during and after his training with Yoda and the end of ESB

• deep down he is still your Luke, but it takes you a while to find him under that stoic and reserved exterior

• for a while you are not sure how to approach him and if the old rules of your love still apply

• he changed so much, you can't help but fear that maybe so did his feelings for you

• eventually though, you will always find your way back to each other, even overcoming his struggles regarding the Jedi rules of old that forbid attachments

• you are at his side and so he is at yours and only like this does the universe make sense

• however with all his experiences and new knowledge, your relationship dynamic changes

• you aren't able to make him laugh as easily as before

• also it has become difficult to catch him off guard (sneaking up on him, telling an outrageous joke, catching him staring at you, etc.), something you liked to do a lot

• so if you do manage to surprise him it's definitely a highlight of your day

• it's near impossible to plan out gifts or a birthday party

• he'll be happy and feel appreciated anyways but you find it to be frustrating at times

• on the other hand, you now get the best presents ever because he knows what you want and need before you do

• one thing you really appreciate is his new found ability to communicate, even during stressful situations

• however his impulsive behavior is still a thing, only now being additionally fueled by his connection to the force

• if you say one thing and the force says another, he will often feel torn and need time to figure things out for himself

• he is more withdrawn in general, often retiring early or randomly throughout the day to meditate

• when he tells you about his imminent confrontation with Vader you are THIS close to ripping him a new one before breaking down in tears

• some things never change and you'll have to be as patient with ROTJ Luke as you were with him during ESB

• even if it's hard, you have to trust into him and his abilities

• he's so mysterious now

• it's hot, you're not going to lie

• so are his new outfits

• you love how they accentuate his strong body and show off his muscles (and his ass) when he moves

• when in the past you were the one to catch him staring, he now catches you

• he'll tease you about it but secretly he's pleased you think him attractive

• sometimes he asks you to cut his hair for him and likes to brush yours

• his arms, more so than ever, are the safest place in the entire galaxy

• when he's able to relax, his playful side from the past comes to the surface again

• still he loves to make you laugh and shriek in delight when he holds you down to cover your entire face in disgusting wet kisses

• he's so much stronger than you and there is no escaping him when the mood strikes

• yet, while he doesn't mention it, you know he's afraid of accidentally hurting you, still somewhat unused to his newfound strength

• the gentleness with which he treats and touches you, makes your stomach flutter

• he never raises his voice at you anymore, not even in frustration or playful manner

• through everything he experienced you were by his side, a steady light supporting him, and he wants you to know how much he appreciates you in return

• if you are not close yet, maybe never exchanged more than friendly greetings during ANH and ESB, just know you will STRUGGLE getting close to him

• not because he is unapproachable in any way

• it's just...he's so much all at once and it's quite intimidating

• his sister is Princess Leia Organa, he's a Jedi and a widely celebrated hero, the wildest stories are circulating about him, he's terrifying to come across on the battlefield and a very good pilot, he exceeds you in rank for miles,...

• and despite being well known, no one really knows him

• sometimes, for a split second, it's as if he's not wholly human

• sometimes a shadow falls over his face, making the room temperature drop a few degrees

• sometimes he's scary without meaning to

• your crush on him is so all consuming you don't know what to do

• most likely he will be the one to take action, initiating small conversations here and there, always careful to not scare you away

Possibly I went somewhat overboard, whoops🤠 but thank you so much for your ask, I had a great time writing this!

[weirdthinkingdragon]

Stockholm Yandere

Something that I wonder how it would work is a yandere with Stockholm syndrome.

Have a few ideas how I can really think of with that working but I'll focus on one for now.

One is the yandere being a caught serial killer and being brought to a corrupt experimentation place. Kinda like SCP in a way. However, he was framed and is actually completely innocent. (kinda like an au of the zombie apocalypse with superhuman idea I had before)

Him being the only one to survive every test so far, but not treated with an ounce of kindness. Why would he? To them he killed tens or possibly even a hundred people?

But then there's you that starts working there and can't help but be a bit more kind to him. You're not left in the dark of what they've done, but at least this one seemed to be treated worse than any of the others. And you've got insane intuition that's never been wrong. It's just screaming at you he isn't even a criminal at all.

The only thing you really can do is clean up the blood of his leftover wounds and even be gentle about it. Sneak a bit of touch like a hand over his to try to comfort him, and tell him you know he's innocent.

You tell him you're looking into his case more, but to please try to hold on until then. What you didn't tell him though is knowing the plan they have to break him into becoming the first successful superweapon. The chemicals, stress, injuries, even the radiation from a few experiments turned his hair into an unnatural bright, pure white. You despised watching the dark brown leave his hair overtime. His hair also getting incredibly long overtime from them not caring about cutting it and don't allow you to bring anything sharp near him from how they believe he could easily overtake you and kill everyone.

It eventually comes to light he wasn't the killer, but obviously the damage has been way too far done. For that, they question things and refuse to have you around anymore. They try to fire you and make sure you never come back again.

A loud noise is heard from the distance. Everyone is unaware of their impending deaths.

Meanwhile at first meeting, he didn't believe you when you first started working with him that you believed he was innocent. He thought you were just putting on an act. But time passed and he eventually believed it from how you treated him. He grew insanely attached, and even started having wild ideas of you punishing him. From you he'd gladly take it. He... He also can't let you go. You can't leave him now. He barely remembers what his friends and family looked like. He doesn't even care to or want to remember. He knows they set him up. None of that matters. only you matter to him now.

Your touches, words, even physical appearance and smell are enough to drive him mad. But in a way it calms him. He started purposefully acting up whenever you're forced to leave. He's already impossible to stop now. no drug can put him to sleep, nothing can hold or pin him down, and he refuses extra attempts by any of them. He only tolerates it days you're here knowing you'll be right there for him after.

He knows they're getting angry by it, but he just doesn't care. At least, until the day he heard them fire you. No, no, no! He can't be without you! can't leave him! He lov... oh. He finally just realized it. He loves you, he loves you, HE LOVES YOU. please! You can't leave him! He'll do anything for you! Want him to be like some sort of fucked up pet? He'll be that! Want him to be your lover? the BEST way, but anything else is fine! as long as you don't leave him! He'll even kill anyone or anything if you ask him to! No, he HAS to kill right now or they'll keep you away from him!

He punches straight through the "impenetrable" wall of his cell. He rips it as easily as slicing and spreading soft butter on toast. Within the blink of an eye, any scientist or even other criminals he sees are slaughtered to bits until he comes to you and the one who framed him. Only he and they knew the truth until you uncovered it. But no one cared from him being the owner of the place and payed well also by the government for said experiments.

He doesn't let the man get one word in. He'll pay with his life for yelling at you as well. He always hated how the man treated you for helping him.

The only regret is the absolute terror on your face as the man's blood splatters all over you as well.

No... Please don't look at him like that. Please! if you have to, punish him! he'll take it! Any painful way you wish he'll endure. Just please never leave him!

He hugs you tightly and sobs in your neck with you still frozen.

-----------------------------------

Now finishing and rereading this idk about this idea. Seems kinda weird to me now :-/

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: New from the author of The Keeper of Night comes a YA fantasy duology set in an alternate Tang Dynasty China, where a poor biracial girl with the ability to raise the dead gets caught up in the dangerous political games of the royal family.

Zilan dreams of becoming a royal alchemist, of providing for her family by making alchemical gold and gems for the wealthy to eat in order to stay young forever. But for now, she’s trapped in her impoverished village in southern China, practicing an illegal form of alchemy to keep food on the table—resurrecting the dead, for a price.

When Zilan finally has the chance to complete her imperial exams, she ventures to the capital to compete against the best alchemists in the country in tasks she’ll be lucky to survive, let alone pass. On top of that, her reputation for raising the dead has followed her to the capital, and the Crown Prince himself seeks out her help, suspecting a coming assassination attempt.

The more Zilan succeeds in her alchemy, the more she gets caught in the dangerous political games of the royal family. There are monsters lurking within the palace walls, and it’s only a matter of time before they—and secrets of Zilan’s past—catch up with her.

Review:

Raising the dead, alchemy, court politics, and monsters come together in this story about a poor biracial girl with the ability to raise the dead who gets caught in the dangerous political games of the royal family. Zilan has dreamed of becoming a royal alchemist, it would let her practice her alchemy freely and would provide for her family. She has a secret, she's been illegally practicing soul alchemy, reviving the dead. After her mother died and her father disappeared, she vowed to do whatever it took to provide for her remaining family. That means she has to pass the royal alchemist exam, but that means competing against the best alchemists in the country in tasks that she'll be lucky to survive. It doesn't help that she has garnered a reputation for raising the dead and the Crown Prince himself ha come to her seeking her help as he believes he'll be assassinated soon. The more she succeeds in her alchemy the more she gets caught in the dangerous political gams of the royal family... and the more she is starting to realize that there is a price for alchemy that might destroy her. This book was a wild bloody ride, filled with tensions, action, and alchemy! I found myself completely enraptured by the story and Zilan's adventure as she navigates the deadly court. She is a survivor and the decisions she had to make were so tough. There is no learning curve, it's a life or death situation, and it was such a brutal but amazing read. This is the first book in the duology and I cannot wait to see where the second book goes and how Zilan's story ends. Seriously, the twist and turns of this book were fantastic and I would highly recommend it for anyone looking for deadly court politics, competition, monster fighting, and high stakes books (with a touch of romance)!!!

*Spoiler: Zilan finds out that after raising her cousins from the dead, they've been draining her of her qi for sometime and in 4 years anyone near them would be drained as the undead drain the qi of those who love them. She also discovers that her father never left her but had sacrificed his life looking for a cure for her dying mother, as it turns out Zilan herself has a soul tag and was raised from the dead when she was a child as the empress's horse brigade had run her over and the Moon Alchemist had revived her. Zilan wins the royal alchemist competition but discovers that the Empress (who has been prolonging her life through gold as in this universe those who eat gold dont age and can maintain their youth) has been experimenting on humans and has been killing off the royal line to make her the only person to rule. Zilan is called the Scarlet Alchemist because she used tons of blood during her winning trial. She discovers that the Empress uses the blood she collects on people to send her monstrous creations to kill them. The other alchemists that have been trapped in the castle want to kill the empress and Zilan joins their efforts. The emperor is dead from arsenic poisonining and the empress has been hiding it and she killed the crown princes's two younger sisters but Zilan brought them back. Zilan and the Crown Prince bond as she discovers whats truly happening and he made her his concubine but offered her real marriage (he was later killed by the Empress, as was her cousins, but she brings her cousins back , Yufei in the body of the empress and Wenshen in the body of the Crown prince). At the end of the book she discovers that there is a elixir of immortality and she decides that she is going to find it and bring all the dead alchemist who had been killed by the empress back as well as the Crown Prince (despite her brother inhabiting the man she love's body).

*Thanks Netgalley and Inkyard Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[rainbowcarousels]

Why yes I think about it ALL THE TIME and now you have me crying in the club on a Tuesday 😮‍💨 How they’d been each other’s rock for the longest time and the center of each other’s worlds, only to have it taken from them when they needed it the most. How their very foundations were ripped apart (again in Armand’s case). And I know this is verging into fanon territory given that we weren’t exactly given a solid explanation in the text but it’s also worth considering how much Armand’s near dead experience informed Daniel’s delirium and state of mind. Armand was everything Daniel knew and all of a sudden (and as far as he knew), he was gone. And Armand had his one baby, his only child, completely go off his rocker while he was unable to do anything about it, only further cementing his believe that if he ever loved anyone enough to bring them over, he’d fail. Anne was truly cruel for that, even though she made up for it in the end. We only got a few glimpses in the last trilogy, but they seemed at such ease with each other, with the same familiarity between them that’s always been there, that I’d like to think they’d already talked about their pressing issues at length (enough for Daniel to move in with him I mean), and all was well 🥹 xoxo DA

I know it's fanon but it just lines up so perfectly for Armand's death to be at the very least a tipping point for Daniel. We know Armand is not in a good place in Memnoch, he's not really taking care of himself, he's in a fragile state and this just screams post-break up to me. I think @desertfangs has them break up in London just prior to Memnoch and given that would align with what we hear of Armand haunting London in that time period, it feels like it should be canon so I'm counting it as my personal canon.

The thing is when it comes to Armand and Daniel, this would be what, less than a decade after Daniel was made? They're still figuring out how their relationship has changed and how to function in this new way or adapt things. I think you can see the shift even in QOTD where Armand wants to push himself into the teacher role as Marius and probably Santino had been for him and if you look at how he talks and treats Daniel right afterwards, you can see shades of his relationship with them both in his tone and actions as if he's trying to figure out what sort of teacher he is all the while thinking it's only a matter of time before he realises he got what he wanted, he'll leave and Daniel does leave.

I don't think that was the reason - I think communication between them decayed without the mental link between them where he found himself second guessing Daniel's words when Daniel's words are often at odds with his actual thoughts and Daniel had been so used to him knowing that and not having to explain himself that it was bound to cause a blow out - but I don't think it was meant to be a permenant break so much as playing into the pattern of running off for a bit. As a side note, it's also why I think Marius makes such a big thing of Armand being able to hear B&S: he knows how hard it hit him and Daniel to lose it.

I do think Daniel does still have this certain wide eyed delirium that probably comes from having very powerful blood so everything is overstimulating, a long overexposure to the blood as a mortal, being made under circumstances that were not the most stable and getting floored by Akasha all in his first week or so as a vampire. A need for some time apart was probably always going to be on the cards, I think Daniel needed to at least try to show he can survive without Armand even if he's struggling because survival seems to be the mark of a successful fledgling but then, as in a lot of VC, Lestat Happens and all hell breaks loose.

(I am fond of the idea that Lestat's last memory of Armand going as he was pulled away got screamed to the vampire populace and this was in fact the specific tipping point.)

So I think when we get to the point of Daniel's delerium being severe it's Grandpa to the rescue, it's a side effect of struggling with his own delirium and the loss and grief he's feeling so he just retreats into his own worlds he can set up and control and make them beautiful because the world out there feels like empty chaos and he's lost the person who guided him through the chaos (or so he thinks at the time) and at least part of his withdrawal from the world to do his lil crafts was done deliberately to get away from his grief. It's just that once he's done that, it's a lot harder to find his way back again.

And I feel like this is the crux of the Armand issue: from what we know in TVA, I genuinely do not believe he knows Daniel's not really doing well and I do think it's something he learns later so I think there's this swing between 'Daniel wasn't here when I felt broken and I had to pick myself up but I'm his maker, he doesn't have to take care of me, it's his perogative to stay away if he can't stand me any longer' to 'Daniel needed rescuing and he's always been the one to do that, he'd always been the person taking care of him and he'd have tried if he knew, would have dropped everything in a moment to do it' but by then, Marius had stepped in, they were settled, he wasn't going to throw that out and for better or worse, he knows Marius can be devoted to caring for broken boys and seeing them get back up again.

But none of that logical line of thought shakes the fact there is a chunk of his life, especially once they get back together, that Armand had no connection with other than being part of the breaking point much as I think Daniel leaving was part of his. There's these big things that happened and while yes, I hope they talked about it, it's not the same as experiencing it and I think when they're ready to show that in the blood, to share that level of pain and deal with it as a shared sadness and experience, it'll be agony but they'll come away with a stronger relationship for it.

It just won't change the fact that he had a second chance to do it right this time with Daniel where he had failed before, to not be a blunt object seeking practical solutions and prove he can in fact take care of people without destroying them. He does still get this in Benji and Sybelle to a degree, but I think the fact he didn't get it with Daniel probably weighs on him and he can't help but call it back to his own feelings of abandonment as well as what happened with Nicki and even Claudia. He's trying so hard in the modern age to make caregiver be a huge part of him and to be seen as somene who keeps his children safe and even if Daniel was safe at the time, I can't help but think it would bother him that his own firstborn had to be cared for by someone else and that maybe Lestat would be the only person he would really admit this to because he would be the one to understand it. That it was love, not the lack of.

Sorry for the sudden essay DA, it turns out Armand is not the only one with a lot of feelings on the matter!

[daemoninwhiteround2]

ooh can we get more alpha pup Damian manipulating omega Jason?

"We're returning now, omega. I refuse to wait any longer."

Jason is not finding it cute that Robin, Damian Wayne-al Ghul, his pup??? (That wasn't a hallucination???) is about five seconds away from stamping his foot in frustration. It's not adorable in the slightest, nor does it warm him, this visible proof that he was missed—he knows that Damian would never act so obviously childish in public in the League and doesn't believe he's been in Gotham long enough to get rid of that instinct.

"My name's Jason, kid, in case they forgot to tell you."

A shadow passes over Robin's face, visible even past the domino, and Jason could kick himself.

"Pup," he corrects, and puts his hand over the back of Damian's neck. That's important, because it's a gesture that means safety to pups—someone bad gets a hold of you there and scruffs you and you're fucked, Jason remembers how he used to walk, shoulders hunched up to his ears to try and protect himself—it means that someone's going to stand guard over you. It's something omegas do for their pups.

When they were pack, Jason's hand had never left the back of his pup's neck of his own accord. He wouldn't fight if Damian left willingly, but in any other situation...

They still fit together so perfectly.

"My pup," Jason murmurs.

"My omega," Damian says again.

Jason bites back the urge to croon.

"Jay—Hood. You're an omega?"

Nightwing would sound less shocked had Jason snuck up on them and smacked him with a 2x4.

Jason narrows his eyes. He's fairly certain he's started presenting before he died, is pretty sure his dynamic was one of the factors that led to him fleeing the Manor for another parent. Bruce... should have known. Probably? Things from that time are kind of hazy—TBIs, death and resurrection will do a doozy on your ability to form lasting memories.

Damn, if he's even managed to fool some of the Bats with his alpha facade, it must be damn near bulletproof. Or more likely it's a case of them not wanting to look too closely at things that might be uncomfortable. Red Hood, supervillain, crime lord, alpha is a lot more palatable.

Damian tugs on his arm again. "We must return."

"To where?" Jason definitely doesn't have the urge to brush his hair back, to check to make sure he's not feverish. The lack of a scent is really getting to him, he's used to it and it would be stupid to take them off in uniform but... But it doesn't feel real like his pup without the scent, like this could be the hallucination.

How would his pup have survived the League without him, after all? Jason prevented multiple assassination attempts while he was there—who would they have gotten that would do the same, would never take a bribe? Is there some other omega out there that Jason shares his pup with? If so Jason would like to thank them but he will also fight them if they won't share.

"To the Wayne den." Bruce inhales so quickly it's almost a gasp. Jason ignores him. This ain't about him. "It's been far too long since we've shared a nest."

....OK maybe it's a little bit about Bruce. "Yeah, I'm not going back there. You're coming with me."

"If you think I'm going to nest down in some dal-"

"My nest already has my scent."

Damian considers his proposal. Free under the helmet, Jason smiles fondly at him.

"Your bargain has been accepted. Father, I will return in time to prepare for school."

"Robin-"

Jason flips Bruce off, scoops his pup up into his arms and takes off for his closest den. He doesn't care if the others follow them back to it, he'll burn it down while his pup is at school. Right now he doesn't want to wait any longer to have a proper reunion.

[stelladoesstuff]

#what is that side note OP #WHAT IS THAT SIDE NOTE OP???

Honestly? It is with great heartache and deepest sorrow that I have to admit that I don't expect Amaya to survive the series (nor have I since the confrontation with Viren).

Amaya is a character that is

A) Loved by fans

B) Close enough to a lot of characters that her death would invoke a strong emotional reaction from them.

C) not so integral to the plot that it could not move forward without her.

Then there's just a few little things like

'this show's theme is getting darker and it's overdue for a horrific loss' (Ibis wasn't near close enough to enough of the main cast to be REALLY Devistating to the drag-gang)

'The fact that Sunfire elves live so much longer than humans has not been addressed could this be that it doesn't matter because Amaya's not going to grow old?'

and (while not based on any evidence [and let's say Amaya and Janai forgo a normal engagement for a quick wedding due to Karim's schemes]). Sarai and Amaya both marrying into the throne and dying as Queens to save their people it would be a cinematic parallel that writers go nuts over.

Honestly- dang, all of that really does make sense.

Apart from Amaya, Callum and Ezran really don't have any other family left. Her death could also act as a parallel to what happened in Claudia's situation after Viren's death. If Callum truly is 'fated' to play into Aaravos's hands, he could very well be drawn in by a similar desperation to bring back Amaya that Claudia felt towards Viren.

Quite the setup for the Callum villain arc that a lot of people have been theorizing around. If he was met with a chance to save Amaya, especially for Ezran's sake, would he take it?

The lack of addressing elf life spans also raises questions between Rayla and Callum's relationship. Amaya's premature death could be leverage for Callum to realize that chances are he will die long before Rayla does, which will only continue to draw a divide between them as he starts to believe he'll only drag her down--limit her.

We also have Rayla getting back her parents [in coin form, at least. Who knows how quickly they'll be able to be freed] just as Callum risks loosing the last parental figure he really has. In his mind, why would she need him when her family is right there?

So what happens when a grief stricken Callum turns his back on everyone but himself and Ezran, realizing that their lives are too short of be of any meaning to the elves surrounding them, and decides to offer his assistance to Aaravos in exchange for Amaya's life? Being truly selfish for the first time in his life because suddenly all that matters is keeping his family safe.

...and then what happens when Ezran inevitably rejects his plan, and parallels are drawn between their king/high mage dynamic and the one between Harrow and Viren? Callum has already started demonstrating parallels to Viren, after all.

I seem to have rambled quite a bit there, but well, theorizing is all we have while we wait for answers. Amaya's death would be crushing, but the parallels... the parallels would be even more crushing lets be honest.

[gangrenados]

Yandere Jason Todd

I have to say that these are a bunch of multiples ideas, so it might a little bit dispersed.

Warning: murder, kidnapping, manipulation

I don't condone any of this behavior, we all know this is a really shitty thing to do.

Matthew Daddario as Jason fancast cuz I like it!!

▪Let's start with something simple: Jason is a very possessive and over protective yandere who doesn't fear to kill whoever dares to put themselves between him and you, especially if they're rivals.

▪There's a big difference when it comes to how he'll be with you depending on what state of his life he's in.

•Fresh of out of the Pit Jason will obsess over you for the sole reason that he wants to posses something in order to feel like he has gained some control over his life.

° Jason doesn't love you, you're just an object that he use to feel in control so he will manhandle you and break you as he pleases.

°It's hard for him to realize that what he's doing is wrong and by the time he finally accepts it, you'll probably be death or in a terrible mind state.

°Jason will have succeed in breaking you and he will punish himself about it.

•Arkham Knight Jason see you as a something that he needs to possess in order to feel human and loved again. He almost worships you as a higher being.

°Jason will hold on you in dear life, hoping that your company will make him feel better.

° Jason is more mindful over your needs and what you might feel about him and being held hostage, those thoughts makes him deeply insecure and sick to his stomach. However, Jason can't bring himself to let you go, he needs you.

°He wouldn't hurt you on purpose, but rather will choose to threaten you with breaking all your bones or killing those you love.

°This applies when he's jealous. Jason will pin you up against wall and point a gun at you as he cries and screams why was the cause for you to betray him.

°You always knew Jason was by far more strong than you but having him towering over you in the middle of a breakdown as he waves around a loaded gun is making you panic.

°Jason wouldn't kill you, but he know where to shoot without killing. You're gonna suffer with him if you don't start to give him answers.

°This version of Jason is mentally and emotionally unstable, he's more likely to breakdown and cause chaos since he can't fully control what he's feeling or how to process it.

°Jason might worship you and treat you as if you were made of glass, but he might kill you in one of his anger rampages.

• Red Hood Jason in the other hand is in a better mental place so it's less likely that he'll hurt you out of an emotional decontrol.

° Also there's the fact that, as that his Arkham Knight version, Jason prefers to use threads to keep you under his control rather than physical punishments. However, he'll use them if your being too defiant.

His punishments tend to be: isolation, spanking, making you use a collar shock, etc

°Jason doesn't see you as an object that will make him feel better, he genuinely loves and cares for you.

°He's deeply afraid that something bad will happen to you if he's not there to protect you.

°Jason see you as a defenseless, naive person who needs him to survive. He's gonna be your savior and lover even if you don't want him to.

°Oh don't try to escape, he'll find you pretty easily and drag you back to the safe house as he scolds you for being such a stupid brat. And if someone else was helping you escape? Jason will kill them in front of you to show you a lesson.

°He might nice and caring to you, but Jason doesn't tolerate when a darling talks back or defy him.

He doesn't like a bratty darling since it makes him think you don't trust him enough. Jason truly believes he knows what's better for you, so it's not gonna end well if you question his decisions.

°Might pull up a dirty move to make you stay, like hiring some goons to scare you if you decide to leave him. So Red Hood can come, kill them and be your hero!

°One thing to keep in mind is that all of his version are deeply insecure and touched deprived. They might want to hold you and kiss you, but it's gonna be a long way until they finally don't hesitate to do such thing.

°Their distan and pretty close to you at the same time. This goes more with the Arkham Knight and Red Hood though.

I'm gonna keep talking about the Red Hood version, so keep reading!

▪Jason wants you and will have you, he doesn't care how far he has to go for that to become true.

▪He wants to know every little single detail about you, it doesn't matter if they're insignificant.

▪So he will study you and take notes about your preferences, your weaknesses, what you like and what not and what are those little habits you have so internalized that you don't even notice you make.

▪It will lead to a point that Jason will know you better than you think to know yourself.

▪He will set cameras and a security system in your house and you will notice that Red Hood has been appearing too much near your neighborhood lately...weird.

▪Also the crippling sensation that someone is watching has been being so persistent when you go out.

▪You have tried to calm yourself down saying that it's normal since you live in a city like Gotham, but that doesn't make it any better.

▪Also lately you don't feel alone when you're in your apartment. You don't feel alone at all to be honest and it's creeping you out.

▪And what about this new guy in your life? He looks so mysterious and bad boy-ish, also wow he's pretty damn handsome and easy to talk to! How this guy can be friend of yours!?

▪Yeah, Jason got over his doubts and went out of his way to reach to you and be part of your life (with you knowing this time)

▪There's something we have to address here: at the beginning Jason couldn't accept that what he was doing was wrong. He didn't even want to acknowledge that he was deeply infatuated with you.

▪Jason didn't mean for this crush to go that far and the idea of what he's really doing, looking through the cameras he installed in your room, was making him sick.

▪However, he couldn't be away from you for long, if something happened to you it would drive him crazy, since the idea that you weren't there was enough to make anxiety paralyze his entire body.

▪Jason needs to protect you like he needs to breathe. It's not an option but a vital necessity.

▪What happens is that Jason's mind is torn between the voice that tells him to watch you closely and the one who's screaming at him and begging to stop all of this.

▪ Jason wants to possess you so he can keep the dangerous world away from you, is better than the rational part of his mind that tells him that what he is doing is foolish and will end badly.

▪But to be honest here, Jason doesn't pay much attention to the rational side of his brain unless he has a breakdown since he's more sensitive and open to those sad thoughts.

▪During one of those breakdowns were the main reason why he took you one night after about a month of overthinking every decision he has made so far and the numbing that he might lose you if he doesn't do something drastical.

▪So during a seemingly normal night in Gotham, when the rain soaked everything in it's path and made your warm bed even comfortable than ever, an exalted Red Hood broke into your apartment to kidnap you.

▪He didn't leave any space for doubt, so without hesitation he pricked your neck with a needle and carried to one of his safe houses.

▪Jason feels like he can breath again now that you're on his bed, sleeping fondly thanks to the tranquilizer.

▪You look so beautiful and innocent, it only reassures Jason that what he did was the right thing.

▪You need him to protect you from the horrible things of the world, it's more than obvious that you can't take care of yourself and Jason is more than glad to keep you safe.

▪Yeah, that's all he wants in reality. Jason doesn't give a fuck if you don't love him right away since he have the hope that one day you'll understand and finally accept his love and devotion for you and you'll do the same.

[icharchivist]

Of all the hxh characters we have it baffles me that we've NEVER seen Kurapika cry. I do what he does when I'm super upset I just kind of hold it in and let it fester but that's bad! It'll build up and he'll have such an awful breakdown. I wonder what Togashi is gonna do differently because all I can picture is him getting super pissed and powered up and almost dying but that'd be exactly what happened to Gon and I don't think Togashi would use the same plot idea twice.

heyo!

Oh boy ye I agree completely. Tbh I’m also the kind to build up and never let myself cry even when things get out of hands, so when a breakdown happen, it’s devastating. And that’s without being faced with the massacre of my close family who then ended up being objectified by people, most of them being serial killers with tortures inclinations. All of that to say, the day Kurapika breaks down will be horrible.

I don’t think Kurapika will get a “major power up” like Gonsan (esp since Gonsan was a real Enhancement ability) but imo, Gon and Kurapika have a lot of parallelism that can be seen, especially in the way they both went into this whole revenge thing.

And of course, in the end, I think we already have what will be Kurapika’s doom in front of us.

if you compare Gon’s an Kurapika’s revenge quests, there’s something interesting that, Gon went all out all at once. He let it bottle up for a month and unleashed everything on his enemy. He had not come to term with his grief when he goes against Pitou, so what comes out is a raw power coming rom a raw emotion of unadressed trauma. Gon-san represents that. He is this raw power, this raw force, this rushed power where Gon decided to throw all his life away all at once.

Kurapika deals with it differently and that’s especially visible in how they both handle similar situation. Kurapika lets it build up for years, he doesn’t let himself breakdown. The rare times he doesn’t think through, the upcoming danger usually holds him back in time, and even under major stress, he tries to have a few steps forward his adversaries. and in the end it resulted with Emperor Time.

Emperor Time and Gon-san are comparable there because Gon-san was a raw power coming all of the sudden, with a sudden decision Gon took because he had no control over his grief anymore. Kurapika weponized his grief, his powers are linked to his beliefs (“Ever since I learnt I was a Conjurer I thought about chains (..) because there’s evil on earth that needs to be chained down.”). And therefore, just like everything about Kurapika, he lets it consummes him slowly. Emperor Time is a technique that is killing him. He is already throwing his life away. He’s already settled with the idea of dying. He has no plan for after his revenge.

I don’t think Togashi will reuse the exact same climax because Kurapika and Gon’s personality, revenge quest, and powers, had been built in a way they can be put in parallel and see the differences between them.

Imo the risk for now is Kurapika pushing his limits with Emperor Time. He already lost 6 years of his life on the boat alone, and we can only hope he had barely used ET before (I made a full post about Emperor Time and the possible time Kurapika already lost so I won’t elaborate). But we also know that after 3 hours of using it, he can passes out, and that it wouldn’t be safe at all to use it for more than that.

Now, though, i’m with you. It’s incredibly scary that Kurapika had never broken down so far, not even when he felt empty after the fake death of the Troupe and as he had to retrieve the eyes. He’s the only one of the main four to have never cried, at all, and while I can see him bottling it up inside, He’s going to break. 

Not to mention the fact Tserriednich is getting powers, is a dangerous man with a dangerous Nen beast who’ll protect him no matter what, that Kurapika has his responsability over Oito and Woble to take care of, that the Troupe is on the boat, and of course the possible Head Theory (ie that in Tserriednich’s collection we see a child head among the Kurta’s eyes that reminds people of Pairo, Kurapika’s bestfriend, who died in the massacre, since we know some Kurta had been beheaded as well) , There’s really no way this trip will be safe for Kurapika.

Also to be quite honest, I’m also terrified by Tserriednich’s sadism and obsession with the Kurta. He has a lot of eyes, if indeed the Head is Pairo’s head, it would have pushed him this far. And we saw him eventually take the time to torture people he wanted to turn into artpieces.

I’m terrified that it’s not going to be like Gon vs Pitou where Pitou barely stood a chance once Gon unleashed his powers. Tserriednich could be a far more dangerous opponant, especially against the last survivor of the Kurta, the last living person he could add to his collection.

I think eventually Kurapika breaking down would imply maybe less thinking through, more raw fighting, but not something like a powerup like Gon-san. I think Kurapika’s powers and hatred consumming him slowly but surely would be more likely than a violent punch in the stomach as was Gon-san, if you get where I’m going there with the metaphore.

But then again…. we have never seen Kurapika break down, and you’re right when you say building it up inside will only rsult with it hurting him far more once it’ll be unleashed. And no matter any rational elements I could put into it, a breakdown as such wouldn’t be rational.

As much as I do believe there are worst things to come and that it won’t mirror Gon completely, I can’t predict it for certain and there’s still a strong chance of it happening.

So….. We’ll see. For now I’m just hoping that he’ll be okay or that at least he’ll get help. But we can never be too certain… we’ll see.

[tarlos-spain]

Flufftober Day 1 - Winning a Teddy for the Other

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Eddie Diaz/Evan "Buck" Buckley

Characters: Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley

After the storm

The tsuami changed everything in the city, but also inside Buck. He almost lost Christopher and Eddie's pain became his in a way he didn't expect. Now his feelings have changed or simply awakened more strongly.

Chapter 1

The fair was full, like every weekend or any summer day. It was full of families, couples in love, couples he didn't yet know would end up together and in his case, a depressed guy who was on sick leave and his best friend's son.

Eddie had asked him to take Christopher to the fairs, had told him the kid was bored at home, when really the point was to get him out of his apartment, where he had been holed up for days with no intention of leaving.

The plan had worked because Buck adored Christopher. He had never entertained the idea of having children, but with Eddie's son everything was easy and simple, despite the difficulties the boy encountered from day to day, Christopher was just great, funny like his father and at times seemed more mature than either of them.

What a day he was having at the fair and Buck could hardly believe he had managed to win that huge teddy bear for the boy.

"It's for daddy, I'm sure he'll be happy when we give it to him." Said Christopher as they grabbed some ice cream and before going on the next ride. "Dad really likes you and so do I."

Buck almost choked on his ice cream cone, but was able to remain serious.

"I really like you too and your dad...your dad is a great friend and a terrific co-worker, of course." "Dad thinks I'm too small and I've heard him talk about you." "About me?"

Buck wasn't sure if it was curiosity or fear of what Eddie might say about him and who he talked about it with.

"Yeah, with Captain Nash. Sometimes Bobby sounds like a psychologist, but he always listens to Dad." "And what does your dad say about me?" "Dad laughs when Bobby something about professional secrecy, although I don't quite know what it is. I guess if it's a secret I can't tell you. It would be wrong." "Sure, sure you can't tell me. That's all right."

Buck carried the teddy bear like he was just another companion that afternoon until the damn tsunami wave made him forget about the bear. The one thing he didn't forget about was the obligation he had to save and protect Christopher at all costs, even if it meant risking his own life.

She thought she didn't think she would lose him and she thought she would have to tell Eddie that she had lost her son. But Christopher showed up, he was fine, cold and scared to death like him, but he was fine.

Again he was on sick leave for the next two days, he didn't know if it was the stress of surviving a tsunami, the near hypothermia he had caught or the exhaustion that almost made him pass out when the tension left his body.

In any case, he was beginning to hate being on sick leave, staying home alone because everyone else had to work and the free time that left him to think about everything, including what Eddie liked.

He decided not to pay much attention to Christopher's words, after all, he was a kid, he could have understood anything from his father's conversation with Bobby, it didn't necessarily have to be a romantic statement.

However, that new day at home, on leave, Eddie showed up at his front door with a bucket of beers, three huge bags of cold chips and cell phone in hand.

"What would you rather I order for dinner, sushi or pizza?" "Eddie what are you doing here, where did you leave Christopher?" "I had to take care of two of my favorite people in the world, but they each need different attentions." He said walking into the apartment. "Christopher is with Carla for an afternoon movies and board games which Grandma Diaz will join later and I'm here with you, to have dinner, watch TV, convince you to watch an MMA fight and spend the evening talking about how lucky we both are after what happened yesterday." "Eddie, you didn't need to, really. I'm fine at home; after noto it wouldn't hurt to have a couple of quiet days on the couch."

Eddie put the beers away in the fridge but grabbed two and handed one to Buck, he did the same with the bags of chips, put them away but opened one and in the end decided to grab some sushi and a couple of pizzas.

"You talk to me like I don't know you Evan. You hate sitting on the couch longer than you need to and being alone is not your thing."

Buck smiled, it was true, Eddie had known him for a little over a year but he could read him like an open book. He accepted the beer and one of the potato bowls and went with Eddie to the couch.

He told her the story of the fair, with the disaster afterwards, he hadn't had time to tell her how it had gone the day before, and he told her how they had managed to win the bear Christopher wanted to give her.

"It was a gift from both of us, but the original idea was Christopher's." "My goodness, as much as I wanted to have a six-foot bear in my bed every night." "Don't say it like that, I think Christopher feels bad about it." "And you?" the question caught Buck by surprise, he didn't even know what to answer. "Christopher didn't name me no bear and you can't seem to get it out of your head." "What are you saying, it was just a teddy bear."

Buck laughed nervously and grabbed the TV remote from him to change the channel, but Eddie snatched it back, turned off the TV and stood up.

"Come on." "Where do you want us to go now?" "I don't know, I'll look it up on the way." "What are you talking about, where do you want to go?" "To find another fair where we can get our hands on a teddy bear that you can give me." "It was a gift from Christopher." Buck protested as he turned on his heels.

When Eddie got something in his head, there was no way to change his mind. In that father and son were a lot alike.

Eddie asked Buck to get behind the wheel, while he looked around in nearby towns, which one might now have some beasts in which he could win back a giant stuffed animal.

They didn't have to go far, a few miles from Los Angeles in a small town they were holding, literally, a livestock fayre and had set up rides and tombolas.

"Pick the bear you like best." Eddie said when the two of them had gotten out of the car." Let's get it and you take it home in memory of the late Teddy." "Teddy?" "I know he didn't get to have a name, but he deserves one. Come on." The afternoon was one of the most entertaining of his life; he was able to laugh so hard he forgot about the tsunami and Eddie's struggle at the raffle to get to take the biggest bear he could find would only be believable later because Buck videotaped it.

But finally, the raffle attendant gave him the huge stuffed animal and Eddie lifted it like a hunting trophy, over his head and finally handed it to Buck.

"There you go. You got your stuffed animal..." "Which I'm going to give to you right now as a fiancé."

The three of them returned home after dark and grabbed another couple of beers and arrived just in time to get dinner.

They took a seat on the couch and searched Netflix for a really bad movie to entertain themselves with and now that it was much quieter; it seemed like a lie how much things could change now that he saw a teddy bear sitting on the couch.

"Eddie." "Hmmm?" "I know you like women because you've been with one and you flirt a lot with others, but..." Eddie stared at him, you could tell from the look in his eyes that he knew where this conversation was going to go, but he let him speak. "Have you ever been interested in a guy?"

[morgemuffel]

MALEC. ➰ PROS & CONS TO MARRY YOU. (STAY WITH ME)

This story takes place between episode 3Bx16 & 3B17. Why does Alec suddenly thinks about getting married?

-> Alec creates a pro and contra list about whether he should propose to magnus or if it is too early etc. He confronts himself with his thoughts and fears, which had never been expressed loudly before. *(Part 3 of my series: our heart beats like one)

My vision is blurred and everything around me happens like in slow motion. I'm standing there like a fool and don't have the strength to move. My heart contracts as if it were crushed in someone's fist. The air is thin and Izzy had called Catarina Loss to help, when she heard my cries for help. I'm so mad at myself. "Magnus, Magnus, can you here me?" is the only thing I can say. Why didn't I see it coming? I'm still standing there as if rooted to the ground, too shocked to do anything meaningful. "Please, I'm right here" I continue talking, in the hope that he at least hears my voice. I had given Magnus a heart rhythm massage until Cat finally arrived after a felt eternity. Cat now kneels next to Magnus on the floor and holds her hands over his right clavicle and left chest muscle. Stand back" she commands. A blue cloud flows out of her palms, enveloping his lifeless body, and once again an electric shock of several thousand volts shot through his chest area to reactivate his heartbeat. "Come on, Magnus. Hang in there" Catarina screamed in panic as still nothing happened. "Catarina is he going to be all right?" I ask anxiously. Another electric shock. But Magnus, whose body had just shrugged like wild before, lay there now only calm and motionless. "I...I...Alec he's gone..." Cat sobs and looks at me in disbelief. I see the tears rolling over her blue face. I know that she has done everything in her power, because she doesn't even have the strength to maintain her glamour. I feel pure fear crawling up inside of me. No. No he can't be dead, he simply just can't be dead! I don't know how, but somehow my body starts moving again and I stumble uncoordinated and fall on the floor next to Magnus. Stay with me is the only thought that constantly wanders through my head and throbs like my own heartbeat in my head. I form my right hand into a ball and place the left hand over it to start another heart rhythm massage. I feel Cat's pitiful look on me, but she says nothing. I won't give up on him. Press twice per second, I know how it works, every shadowhunter knows the required frequency, but the longer I press the more the fear is taking over me and the more irregular my rhythm becomes. I repeat: "stay with me Magnus" to the beat of my pressure movement. I can't lose you, I just can't. "Stay with me Magnus" I taste something salty wet in my mouth and realize that it is my tears that flow over my face and is taking my sight. But I can't wipe them away. I don't have time to release my hands from Magnus. "Stay with me Magnus! I don't have to see anything to know that I can't stop, that I won't stop. "Stay with me Magnus!" I drift off and my body... Oh God as if I were in free fall... No. No. No. The darkness surrounds me and I am lost in nothing. My thoughts echo through the dark void. Our hearts beat like one and if his stop beating, mine dies with him. Magnus is dead.

Alec opens his eyes disorientated, he is bathed in sweat and his heart races as fast as it threatens to jump out of his chest. He looks around in fear and searched for Magnus. He is alive, it was all just a nightmare! At least the part about his death. Alec's subconscious had probably played a trick on him with his greatest fear. The fear of losing Magnus. How could this happen? Why had he not noticed the signs? Or had he noticed them and simply ignored them...? Alec is sitting on a very uncomfortable plastic chair, in the New York Institute in the Medic department, watching Magnus. His chest lifts and lowers gently to the beeping sound of the ECG device. His breathing is flat and slow but he is breathing. It is so unusual to see him uncombed and without make-up. In the blue coat he seemed almost inconspicuous and very vulnerable. Alec has been sitting on this chair for hours, he must have fallen asleep, he thinks, rubbing the palms of his hands against his face. He closes his eyes and the pictures reappear before his inner eye. With a shake of his head he tries to shake the pictures away. Yes, it was close but they had made it and Cat had set up everything right here to watch Magnus non-stop. A cold shiver ran down Alec's back as he tried to interpret his dream, it had felt so real. And he believed he knew what the message was behind it. He had to apologize to Magnus. Alec had a guilty conscience because he should have known how tortured his boyfriend really was. 

Alec interlaced his fingers and began to speak slowly: "Magnus, I... I don't know if you can here me. But this is my fault. I was selfish. When you first lost your powers and you said you were okay with it, I...I didn't think twice. I guess I was just so happy that maybe we could... grow old together." He took a break to breathe deeply. It was the first time he said it out loud. He was ashamed of that thought. He had asked himself several times whether he was a bad boyfriend because of that. He had talked to Underhill about this topic. But to say it out loud, to hear his voice, brought him the knowledge and thus the answer to his question. It had hurt him when Magnus had accepted Lorenzo's magic without talking to him about it. But Magnus magic was a part of him and he didn't have the right to begrudge him that. And he knew one thing for sure. To see Magnus happy was the only thing that really mattered. Alec's heart got heavier at this thought and he started rubbing his thumb over his ankles nervously. He tended to exert so much pressure on that movement that it almost hurt. But the pain there eased the pain in his heart. He sniffed before continuing: "I guess I just didn't realize, how deep down, how much you were suffering. Magnus, I love you. He reached for Magnus' hand, near the tears and his voice was now full of despair: "More than anyone in the world and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." He heard the sliding door open and quickly wiped away the one tear that had made it over his cheeks. "May I come in" Cat asked gently. "Yeah" Alec replied and stood up with a deep sigh to talk to Cat about Magnus' condition. "Did you manage to make contact with the people at the Spiral Labyrinth" he asked full of hope. She nodded, "yes, I shared the test results, an he agreed. Magnus' body is rejecting Lorenzo's magic. "Rejecting? What do you mean?" Alec asked and folded his arms in front of his chest. "Think of it like a failing organ transplant. Each time Magnus performs a spell it puts a tremendous strain on his body. He got lucky this time. He will regain consciousness . But if he uses magic again, even for something small, he might not survive," she explained to Alec in a haunting tone. "Why can't you just fix him? Why can't you just take Lorenzo's magic out?" Alec asks in surprise. "I wish I could. The only one who can reverse the transfer is the person who gave it to him" she explains. "Lorenzo did this on purpose," Alec hummed furiously. "Alec, there's no way he could have planned it. With magic transfusions, there's always this possibility." Cat tried to protect Lorenzo. But Alec disagreed. "No he knew how desperate Magnus was. He took advantage of him. I'm not gonna let this son of a bitch get away with it." he hissed upset and tried to squeeze past Cat. But Catarina grabbed him by the arm and held him tight when she said: "You need to settle down. What's the shadowhunter saying? - Emotions cloud judgment? - You loose your temper with Lorenzo, he'll have less incentive to help. Like it or not, Lorenzo Rey is Magnus only hope" she made clear to him.

On his way to Lorenzo's loft, Alec shook his head in disbelief. Had he really just thought that? He corrected the sentence in his mind. Magnus' Loft. He was on his way to Magnus' loft in Brooklyn that was stolen by this mucous guy Lorenzo Rey. Magnus hasn't woken up yet, so Alec had decided to ask Lorenzo to take back the magic he had given him. He was almost certain that this would also be Magnus' wish. Magnus' near death had shown Alec how precious time is. And he knew that he wanted to spend all his time also if only 10 years or even 60 years,  with Magnus at his side. Nothing was more precious than the time with him. When Magnus agreed to his suggestion to move in together, Alec was the happiest person ever. There was only something that could make him happier. To make Magnus his forever. Put a ring on his finger and call him his husband. There were many reasons for this, but he also knew that there were some contras. He started to write a pro and contra list in his head:

   PRO:  

- It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever

   CONS:  

- Magnus had just suffered some losses, his status symbol as High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken away from him and his loft, his home, was taken from him. These losses sparked a kind of identity crisis in him

I remember what it was like before Magnus. The time of uncertainty, fear and my own identity crisis. It was like my whole life was a lie, I was living a lie. It was before Jace, I had always known it. I'm not saying that I am different but in the eyes of others I am. All of us who don't fit into the over century formed norm are considered different. Growing up in a society that fears everything and everyone just because they don't understand it or know it differently and respond with hate is sad. The hate and fear that was directed against other races or against the preference of sexuality frightened me. I was afraid of this hate and took the safe side. The don't ask don't tell side of the shadowhunter culture. I preferred to be angry and unhappy than to deal with these feelings. On some days I feel ashamed not to have been brave enough before Magnus came into my life. To simply ignore the prejudices and discriminations and to stand by myself. But for shadowhunter - family, honour and tradition are written in capital letters. At least that's what they believe. And I certainly didn't want to be the first Shadowhunter in my family to destroy this supposed honor. Family is everything to me. Grown up in the institute under the enormous pressure of the council and my parents. I always did everything for my parents and for the council. My fater drilled in to me that I was never good enough. I always thought it was me, because they felt who I really was and wanted to suppress it. So I did the same and ignored my feelings. I was impure with myself and carried this anger inside me for years. I couldn't define exactly where it came from but I was always angry at everything and everyone. Not knowing who you are and not knowing where you belong is terrible. By the angel I'm so happy that I met Magnus.

"Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what's in your heart" he had told me back then. I thought I would never be allwed, or to even find somoen to marry out of love and the only thing I could hope for would be a solid partnership with a woman. But here I am, in a happy relationship with the man I love above everything else. I will do everything in my power to lead him back to his identity as he helped me. So pack up your hatred and discrimination. I alone decide how my life goes on.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, not that I would know." I hear Magnus' voice in my head.. We'll find out, my darling, we'll find out.

Alec circled the two reasons and tried to look at them from every angle. He was a man of tradition and honour and he always knew he wanted to get married one day. He just never would have thought that this wish could actually become reality with someone he loved with all his heart. But here he was and his boyfriend was Magnus Bane. He knew he would never love anyone as much as he loved Magnus. He also knew that a marriage is about being together for the rest of your life and that this same - a life long - was a different view for Magnus before. Magnus was no longer immortal and to ask for his hand now would painfully remind him of this loss. Alec wondered if it wouldn't be possible to ask Asmodeus to give Magnus back his real magic and thus his birthright, his immortality. What would be the price? For sure one that Alec can't pay at all. He sighed and began to walk faster. There was also the housing situation, he was at least able to fix. Cat had told him that Magnus had asked her for a real estate agent. But Magnus was in the infirmary and couldn't make it to that appointment today and Alec wouldn't leave his side for a house visit. The apartment could wait, but he was looking forward to starting this new phase of his life with Magnus. So it was 1 to 1 when he stood in front of the door of the loft and was about to knock, when it swung open and Mozart's symphony came towards him.

Lorenzo had already expected him, charming isn't? It's one of Mozart's lesser-known works, but certainly one of my favorites. You should have seen the look on Wolfgang's face when I told him what I really thought about his Mass in C minor," he bluffed to Alec. But Alec didn't have time for this small talk, they both knew that they would never be friends in this and possibly in any other life. "We need to talk" Alec said and tried to make his voice sound as calm and controlled as possible. "Hang on. This is the best part." He just wanted to provoke Alec, no they wouldn't even be friends in another dimension. Alec switched off the music to show him the urgency of his visit. "What can I do for you, Mr. Lightwood? he asks and takes a sip from his martini. "Magnus has fallen ill as a result of the magic you gave him" Alec told him. "I did warn your boyfriend of the risks involved. He assured me he could handle it" Lorenzo replied visibly unmoved. When he poured himself a second drink. "Well he can't. And I would appreciate if you would take the magic back." Alec said in a thoughtful tone. "Yes, I'm sure you would appreciate that. But he brought this upon himself. Not my fault the pompous old warlock falls by his own hubris." Lorenzo was amused by Magnus' pain and Alec knew that he had no intention of helping them. But why? "Why? Why do you hate him so much? he asked without understanding. "It's simple. All my life, I've had to sit by and watch while the world lavished praise on Magnus Bane. The prodigy. The High Warlock who could do no wrong." Lorenzo said bitterly. So that's it Alec thought, he was insecure and jealous. "Green isn't becoming on you, Lorenzo," he simply stated. "You have no idea how hard I've had to work for everything that I have" he hissed and put his glass down. Before he continued. "That man was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His celebrity is not based on talent. It's nepotism. Alec felt the rage crawling up in him and with each of Lorenzo's words it was harder to suppress them. "Lorenzo, you're right about one thing. Magnus is beloved. And when word gets out that you wouldn't help him, purely out of jealousy, how would you think the other warlocks are gonna feel?" Alec said as he walked up to Lorenzo to underline the threat in his voice. But Lorenzo remained unimpressed and said: "I guess we'll find out, won't we?" The fuse in Alec's head blew, how could this cockroach even dare. He would have loved to go for Lorenzo. "You bastard. I swear, I will..." But Lorenzo interrupted him annoyed. "You'll what? he asked unimpressed and shot Alec with a clenched load of his magic towards the exit. "I believe we're done here. You can show yourself out." Alec knew that his last visit by Lorenzo was also part of Lorenzo's rage against Magnus. Anger, anger didn't get him any further, he had to convince Lorenzo at all costs. Magnus' life was at stake and he would beg on his knees if he had to.

"You've never been in love, have you?" Alec asked desperately. Lorenzo must have loved someone at least once in all those years. Alec had to remind him. "I'm over 300 years old. Of course I have. More times than I care to admit" Lorenzo said cool. Alec saw his chance and slowly walked towards Lorenzo again. "Well, for me, it's only one. Magnus," he said and looked at Lorenzo as he went on. "He is my world. And if he dies..." Alec sobbed, who now found it hard to keep his feelings under control. He didn't care if Lorenzo saw him that way, saw him the Head of the New York Institute so vulnerable. He didn't care if he ridiculed himself and he didn't care that he just revealed his greatest weakness. Alec raised his hand to a defensive position when he said, "Look, Lorenzo, he's no threat to you. Okay? He doesn't have his powers." His eyes filled with water and a tear ran down his face as he begged Lorenzo. "Just please... Please help him"

Alec left the loft with Lorenzo's word to help Magnus. A cool breeze blew in his face and dried his last tears. The heated conversation had given him two more points on his imaginary list. To show oneself so vulnerable to someone and to reveal oneself. Showing oneself as one in front of two different worlds, a unity that nothing and nobody could destroy.

   PRO:  

- Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days

   CONS:  

- The Clave doesn't like to see Shadowhunters and Downworlders getting married. It's not forbidden, but since The Clave is mainly interested in making more shadowhunters, it's a bit frowned upon to marry a warlock or a vampire, because they can't have children.

Even though deep inside I always knew that I was gay, I had always imagined a family with children. I could have imagined them with Lydia too, even though the thought of having sex with her made me freak out a little. Lydia is great but still a woman. Maybe the Clave would agree to an adoption for a Shadowhunter or a Downworlder baby? The Mundane couples have to be married as far as I know if they want to adopt... Would an adopted child even like me? With Madzie it's always wonderful and children love Magnus anyway. But maybe Madzie was a exception. Well they'll like at least one of us. So the biggest problem would be the Clave. For whom I'm already a thorn in their eyes, the gay head of the New York Institute, who is in a relationship with a Downworlder. So what, fuck that point. I really hope that Magnus also wants children. I think he's born to be a dad. He has so much patience and love to give. He has travelled so many countries and lived through so many decades, he would certainly have great good night stories. Him and I as parents, who could teach our children love and tolerance. To pass on our views and values and to show the world that there is another way. That diffrent doesn't mean weird or wrong, but that the world view is outdated and wrong. And it's on us to start change that.

The Clave always had such weird rules. In the past, Alec wouldn't have noticed the inconsistencies. He obeyed orders blindly without questioning them. But now, why did they make rules they disapproved anyway? And have they ever thought that two same-sex shadowhunters and downworlder would want to get married? Because Alec didn't know if that was possible at all. But he knew something else, no matter how, he and Magnus would one day start a family together. Alec had never asked Magnus if he wanted to have children, but somehow it was a logical step, wasn't it? Or was Alec once again too far with his thoughts and wishes? He was walking past a playground and saw all the Mundane mothers playing with their toddlers. A dream he had dreamed so many times, before meeting Magnus. Changing his children's nappies, teaching them to walk and fight and attending their first shadowhunter rune ceremony. All those things, those kitschy things he had wished for were not graspable before Magnus, but now. Now he suddenly had the chance to make all his dreams become real, with the man of his dreams. And before any of this could come true, Magnus had to wake up. He increased his pace again because he wanted to be the first thing for Magnus to see when he opened his eyes.

Alec was sitting on the uncomfortable chair in the institute again, his butt was slowly strating to hurt but he didn't care. He saw Magnus' eyelashes start to twitch. "Magnus, can you hear me" Alec asks. Magnus blinks and slowly opens his eyes. "There you are. Hey," Alec said pleased. Magnus is still a little confused and Alec gently turns his head with his two fingers in his direction. Magnus chuckles when he sees Alec. "There you are" Magnus repeats and pats gently and awkwardly Alec's cheeks. "Yeah" Alec replies smiling. "What happened?" Magnus asked, still slightly dazed. Alec tried to explain it to him as simple and gently as possible. "Oh, well you got very sick. But everything's gonna be okay." Magnus tried to sit up and Alec got up quickly to help him. Just hold on. Here, let me get that for you." Alec said lovingly. Magnus tried to play the whole situation down again when he joked: "Oh I could get used to this type of treatment. Oh but definitely not to this wardrobe." Alec realized that Magnus wasn't aware of how serious the whole thing was. "Right. Let me get you a change of clothes" he said and wanted to get going. "No, no need" Magnus said and raised his hand to use his magic. "No!" Alec screamed full of panic and healed Magnus' hand so that he couldn't use his magic. "Alexander, what..." Magnus began irritated as his gaze wandered to the door and he noticed Lorenzo. "What's he doing here?" he asked even more astonished. Alec took a deep breath to explain everything to Magnus: "Using Lorenzo's magic is what got you sick. Catarina says that if you use the magic again, even a little bit, it could go horribly wrong. The only way for you to get better is for Lorenzo to take the magic away." He looked away at Magnus and hoped to see an understanding for all this in his eyes but Magnus only replied: "Oh. No, Caterina's just being overly cautious. Trust me, I feel fine." Alec should have known it. Of course, Magnus wasn't aware of how narrowly he escaped death. He had to tell him everything. "No. can we just get a minute, please?" he said and looked at Lorenzo, who had only observed the whole situation pitifully. "No! I'm not getting rid of my magic. Magnus screamed angrily. Why was he so stubborn? Alec had to make him understand how dangerous it was to leave the magic in his body. He didn't want his nightmare to suddenly become reality.

Magnus got up angrily and went for his clothes himself, he stood demonstratively with his back to Alec. But Alec just stood quietly next to him and waited until he had dressed before telling him exactly what had happened. He wasn't sure if Magnus was just pretending he didn't realize how dangerous this magic was for him. "Magnus, you stopped breathing." Alec began. "Your heart stopped. I thought you were gone." Magnus's anger vanished slowly. He hadn't know it had been so bad. "I'm so sorry for scaring you. I was clearly adjusting to Lorenzo's magic and I must have overextended myself." He turned to Alec with a smile to show him he was serious: "I promise, I'll be more careful from now on," he said before returning his attention to his shirt. "It doesn't matter how careful you are. As long as you have Lorenzo's magic, you'll be living with an axe over your head" Alec contradicted. What was wrong with Magnus? "Oh, could you stop being so morbid?" Magnus said when he turned back to Alec. The two men clearly talked past each other. "Look, I know how important magic is to you, but is it really worth dying for it?" Alec tried again. But Magnus didn't answer. "Magnus, answer me." Alec asked again with insistence and full of fear of the answer. Magnus said "Maybe" without turning around and Alec was stunned. "How can you even say that? Alec asked. Magnus now looked at him again and Alec saw the anger, the self-hatred and the fear in his eyes when he said: "I'm nothing without my magic. "You fell in love with Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?

Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?" he asked in disbelief and disgust as he pointed to his body. Alec was slowly getting desperate, he had to convince Magnus that he loved him even without his magic. "Yes. Your powers were incredible, but that's not why I felt in love with you. I..I..fell in love with you because you're wise a..and you're generous and you're brave and you're incredible" Alec stammered. The feelings overcame him, why couldn't Magnus see it? Why didn't he see how unbelievable he was? Alec continued: "I just... When you walk into a room, there's a spark in you, magic or not, th..tha..that lights up everything and everyone around you. "A..aaa..and... Hey!" he grabbed Magnus by the arm who was about to turn away. Alec didn't know what to say anymore. He only knew one thing he couldn't live without Magnus! When Magnus looked at him again Alec said desperately the last thing he still knew: "I won't lose you. I can't." The room was tense and they just looked at each other. And finally Alec saw it in Magnus' eyes. He got through to Magnus.

When Lorenzo left the room after the withdrawal of the magic, of course not without clarifying that he would keep the loft. Alec noted down his last two pros and cons.

   PRO:  

- I love him

   CONS:  

- Magnus would rather die than live without his magic

The last two reasons he noted down were the ones that weighed most heavily on him. So he sorted the list in his head again and prioritized these last two reasons. He loved Magnus more than anything else there was no doubt. But Magnus wasn't sure if he could live on without his magic or if he wanted to. Alec hears the echo of his words in his head, again and again: "I am nothing without my magic."

Yet I don't understand it. I thought I understood it, how dependent Magnus is on his magic. That I understand his pain. But I'm not a warlock and no matter how hard I try I will never fully understand what Magnus is going through. I keep trying to compare it with the Parabatai bond of me and Jace. If Jace died in a fight, I would feel incomplete and like a stanger a nobody without this bond. A part of me would die and be lost forever. And yet I would never prefer my own death than a life with Magnus. At least I hoped that this thought was true.

This thought ignited the little hope he needed. The hope that Magnus didn't mean it as seriously as he had said it before. That deep down inside his love for Alec was stronger. So it was 3 to 3, equal. No matter how often he went through the list he came to a single decision.

   PRO:  

   - I love him  

   - It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever  

   Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days  

   CONS:  

   - Magnus would rather die than live without his magic  

   - Magnus had just suffered some losses, his status symbol as High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken away from him and his loft, his home, was taken from him. These losses sparked a kind of identity crisis in him  

   - The Clave doesn't like to see Shadowhunters and Downworlders getting married. It's not forbidden, but since The Clave is mainly interested in making more shadowhunters, it's a bit frowned upon to marry a warlock or a vampire, because they can't have children 

It didn't matter what was on the contra side of his list, as long as his love for Magnus was at the top of the pro side. He loved Magnus and that outdid all other reasons."I have everything I need, right here." Magnus had said it aptly. And this one reason was the most important one. And therefore he, Alexander Gideon Lightwood would ask Magnus Bane to marry him.

Alec looked through the window of the small library his mother had bought and took a deep breath. On the way there two pros and contras came to his mind. He didn't put them on the list because his decision had already been made but they were still haunting around in his head.

    PRO:  

- He'd have my last name, Magnus Lightwood-Bane

   CONS:  

- He could say no, and I would completely embarrass myself

I think everyone is a bit afraid of this scenario when planning a proposal. Even though I know that Magnus loves me, there is a risk that he will reject my proposal. It could be one of my reasons on the contra column or a completely different one and I think I wouldn't only be sad but it would also be really embarrassing for me. Embarrassing because I'm so impatient, but who doesn't dare doesn't win. And therefore I won't initiate everybody in what I intend to do and try to plan the whole thing in a small scale if not even alone. Hiding it from Jace will probably be the hardest, as he will feel my nervousness for sure, so if he asks me I'll just tell him. Maybe for once he even has a good tip for me. Or could tell me if Alec Bane sounds silly?

Alec opens the door and enters the book store. "Hi" he said and walks to greet his mother. Maryse turns to him and smiles as she greets him: "Alec. What a nice surprise! The two embrace and Alec looks around as he says, "I thought I'd actually stop by and see the place." "Im proud of you." Most of the shelves were already dusty and the books had been rearranged. "Thanks. It's really coming together, isn't it? Maryse said radiantly. Alec was a bit nervous and answered with a question. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about." he burst out. Maryse looked at him uncertainly and tried to interpret his face. "What is it?" she asked, worried. The two sat down when Alec began to tell her: "Uhm..Magnus had a little health scare." Maryse was shocked but Alec spoke quickly. "He's okay, everything's fine, but when it happened, it made me realize how much he means to me, and I.. I.. can't live without him." This sentence made his mother overjoyed. She was so happy that her son found someone who loved him heart and soul just as much as he loved him. What could make a mother happier? "That's what love is" she said with a smile. Alec chuckles. "I'm so happy you two found each other." she said. "Me too." Alec said sheepishly. The question burned on his tongue as he slowly began.

"And I need the family ring." he said and looked at her insistently. Maryse stared back not sure if her son really intended what she was thinking he was intended to say. "I'm gonna ask Magnus to marry me." Alec said after a break and Maryse chuchles overwhelmed. Yes she had thought right. She couldn't believe it and jumped up to pull her son into an intimate embrace. Her son is actually getting married!

[mikamangata]

If BTS Were Mutants (Maknae Line)

I was done earlier than I expected^^ So first of all thank you guys for the support I'm getting, it's unbelievable! You're all being extremely nice and I really appreciate it a whole lot! So here's the second part of this AU, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as the first one! If you haven't read the first one yet, there might be some confusion so read it and then get back here haha (It's called: If BTS Were Mutants (Hyung Line)) Anyways, enjoy!

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Park Jimin [Codename: Varietas]

Power: Substance/Matter Shapeshifting

Is able to turn himself into any kind of substance and attain it's powers/features/qualities

Few examples: If he turns into stone or metal he'll be extremely strong, If he turns into oxygen or a lighter gas he'll be invisible and able to go through objects with a certain density, If he turns into water he'll be...well he'll be wet (You get the point)

The others believe that this power suits him extremely well because of his somewhat contradicting personality (He is cute and sexy, kind and cold, playful and serious)

Raised by loving parents who, after they found out that their son was a mutant, tried to hide him from the government as long as possible (When Jimin was eight IBMC agents broke into their house and tried to take him but his parents fought with all they had and Jimin was able to flee after the agents killed both his mother and father)

Hid from the IBMC in the woods near his home; met Taehyung there, another eight year old mutant on the run (They've been inseparable ever since)

The boys survived a few years on their own but then they hid in an abandoned building and got surrounded by IBMC agents who followed them (They thought they were going to die, but Seokjin and Namjoon saved the at that time eleven year olds)

Jimin's father used to say that the boy reminded him a lot of his mother and to this day Jimin is very proud of that (He loved his parents more that anything in the world, their deaths hit him hard)

Has an obsession with the moon; his mother once told him when he was little that if they'll ever be seperated, she would wait for him on the moon (Jimin always asked how he could get there but his mother would just say that she'll look out for him from up there until he finds a way)

That is also the reason why Jimin tries really hard to always do the right thing; his parents might be watching and he doesn't want to disappoint them

Even though humankind took everything away from Jimin, stripped him naked and let him burn in the world's harsh judgement, he doesn't hate humans; He could never truly hate, there's too much love and kindness inside of him (At least that's what he thought before he was told what some of those laboratories and IBMC agents do to mutants)

Is very playful and loves to joke around with Taehyung, sometimes Hoseok joins in but then it will most definitely end badly; Taehyung once persuaded Jimin to turn himself into iron and Hoseok hit him with lightning which literally turned Jimin into a living electromagnet (It alsmost killed him because suddenly everything that was made out of metal flew towards him; I'm talking cars, Taehyung made him a goddamn car magnet)

The seven of them usually sleep together on a pile of pillows, blankets and some mattresses; Jimin always has to sleep in the middle together with Jungkook or he'll get scared (The others are sure he just uses that as an excuse to cuddle with Jungkook but they don't say anything because it's adorable)

Can literally turn himself into a puddle of goo (The first time he did that Hoseok slipped on him and almost cried because "There's Jimin everywhere help me oh my god")

Him and Taehyung like to tease Jungkook a lot ("Leave the poor kid alone, you brats." "But Yoongi-hyung he blushes so nicely.")

Looks cute but is an excellent hand-to-hand combat fighter with actual iron fists

Can get really scary and intimidating if he wants to, especially when somebody threatens his two cute dongsaengs ("As your Hyung it's my duty to protect you Jungkookie, so don't be scared!" "Y-yes, Jiminie-hyung.")

Kim Taehyung [Codename: Bestia]

Power: Shapeshifting

Can theoretically turn into every existing animal (Or just certain parts; claws or fangs or a tail or something like that, but only one animal at once)

He's still working on it though; his favourites are mouse, dog, hawk, lion and elephant (He's got troubles with fish and other underwater creatures, whenever he tries to turn he just gets gills and webs but the rest of him stays Taehyung)

Although the process of turning into different animals is painful he still loves it

When he was a child he would grow huge black wings out of his back; their growth hurt and gave his mutant status away so he would cut them off with knives and razors (The pain was endless and he was so young back then, his back is still littered with scars that will most likely never fade)

Now that he's older Taehyung can control the wings and they don't grow anymore without him wanting it (He is also able to shrink them back into nothingness)

His father was, like Namjoon's parents, a member of the IBMC (He worked in one of their laboratories and when he found out that Taehyung is a mutant he wanted to use him for his experiments; thank god Taehyung could flee)

Was seven when he fled from home, eight when he met Jimin and eleven when they found a family

Has a lot of hatred towards humans and what they do to mutants (Seokjin used to be worried about his anger but it's getting better nowadays with Jungkook around; Taehyung just needed somebody to protect, someone he could give what he never had as a child)

Because Taehyung has been on the run since he was seven, he never learned how to read and was really embarrassed about it (Namjoon taught him when the younger was fourteen though, so it's allright now)

Once managed to turn into a naked mole rat which scared Hoseok to death (Taehyung pretends like it was hilarious but he looked into a mirror and scared himself too; but don't ask, he really doesn't want to talk about it)

Loves turning into a dog and does it a lot (He looks like something between a golden retriever and a siberian husky, german/australian shepherd are somewhere in the mix as well)

Jungkook used to go to school for a few months when they weren't hunted down by the IBMC so much; back then Taehyung would turn into a mouse or ferett and go with the youngest ("You can't go to school alone! What if someone copies your homework or steals your lunch money or-" "I guess you can come with me, f-for moral support." "Yes!")

Once turned into an elephant in the middle of a mall; almost killed eight people ("Hey Jiminie, I bet I can turn into an elephant right here!" "Wha- Taehyung no- Ah fuck.")

Comes across as crazy and irresponsible, but sobers up as soon as his family is in danger

When he turns into a lion he sometimes lets Jungkook ride him (It looks really majestic and Jungkook always has a lot of fun but the others think that Taehyung has a secret kink for that and it makes the whole thing a little weird)

Looks at things very differently than others and is actually really intelligent (Namjoon often asks him for his opinion on their newest strategies and plans)

Jeon Jungkook [Codename: Haruspex]

Powers: Telekinesis, Teleportation, Time Travel, Divination

Has gotten quite good at controlling his Telekinesis over the years, his other abilities are a lot more difficult for him to handle though

Can't look into the future when he wants to, his visions and dreams just sometimes happen and scare/overwhelm him tremendously (They're also hard to understand; once he dreamt of a burning tree which was supposed to warn him about something that will try and hurt his family)

His teleportation skills are also limited; he only did it a handful of times, the consequences were always immense and it's extremely exhausting for him; in order to teleport he has to telekinetically curve the Newtonian space time to create a worm hole (The problem is that the worm holes open and close so fast that the friction causes an explosion or emp wave if Jungkook uses too much force and he doesn't have it under control at all)

His mother sold him to a laboratory when he was four years old; there he was experimented on and tortured for the sake of 'science'

He broke out when he was nine (That was the first time he ever teleported; there was a huge explosion that killed eight 'scientists' and twelve guards because of how stressed and overwhelmed Jungkook was)

About his time travel ability: He only ever did it once and it is unclear if he's actually able to do it again (At that time he was sixteen and the whole group was cornered by IBMC agents. Jungkook spotted a guard that was once at the laboratory and he panicked like he never had before. The earth started shaking and suddenly there was silence. No, not silence. Nothing, there was nothing. It was so quite you could hear your own blood run through your veins, as if all sound was just sucked out. And then Jungkook was gone. He came back only seconds later and the fight continued, but they never forgot about it; Jungkook doesn't talk about where/when he went to and what he saw and they don't ask after they witnessed the look on his face; utter terror)

A year after breaking out he hid in an abandoned subway station because he was too injured to keep running (There he was found and taken in by the others)

Because he grew up in that awful laboratory he never experienced love and gentleness so the others had to teach him that not every touch is harmful, not every word is laced with venom (It took a long time and he is still extremely shy but now he knows that he is loved and protected and that's all he needs at the moment)

Loves his Hyungs more than anything else in the world; would die for them without a second thought (They all would, honestly)

It's not only love that he feels for them; he idolises/admires them and whenever they talk or do something his eyes get all big and his mouth opens a little, as if he was afraid he would miss something if he blinked (The Hyungs love it, it's the cutest thing ever, he's the cutest thing)

Yoongi was the first one to find him so the very first thing Jungkook heard one of them say was: "No Hobi-ah, I don't think he-Fucking hell step dancing Jesus Christ you scared the living shit out of me, kid! Shit."

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a soft spot for Jungkook; even Yoongi (Everyone knows he's a big softie inside, why is he even trying to hide it)

Whenever he gets teased he'll start squirming and blushing and his stutter gets worse and the others think it's just adorable (Poor Jungkook has to deal with a lot)

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That's it! If you have questions about this AU (about their pasts, relationships, codenames, abilities or anything at all) don't be shy, my ask box is open! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as the first one, have a great week guys!^^