#i became a fan after hearing their live performance for the line

[potatomoonjuice]

I hated the free-hand drawing so i covered it with paint and their souls.

[hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf]

I need you

rockstar!hongjoong x fem reader

Trigger warnings: none?

Content warnings: oral (f receiving), squirting, very mild choking, hongjoong’s so in love

Summary: your ex boyfriend still loves you

Word count: 4.8k

A/N: here’s my gift to you all at the very end of my birthday 🤪 i really hope you enjoy, it’s not really proofread and only took me a few hours to write but i will admit i’m in love

Tags: @bahng-chrizz

Smut below the cut

Live events, especially concerts, were electrifying. Everything, everyone was buzzing with energy and excitement. Tonight was no different. You’d scored pit tickets to see your favorite band and had already made several friends in line. You’d never heard of some of the opening acts but you were always open to finding new music so you were excited to see who was playing.

The first two acts had already played and you were waiting for the third and final performance before the main event. The stage lights dimmed and the crowd cheered in anticipation. First out was the drummer, followed by the bassist and lead guitarist. Finally, the frontman jogged out and the band launched into the first song without so much as an introduction. That would come later.

But you needed no introduction. You knew exactly who he was. You hadn’t seen him in years but your knees weakened the second he set foot on the stage. You couldn’t hear the music. You could barely make out the cheers of the crowd. All you could focus on was your ex standing center stage, screaming into the microphone.

You stood in a trance the entirety of the first song, never so much as nodding your head to the beat. When the song came to an end, the band formally introduced themselves and Hongjoong began to introduce the second song.

“This next one’s for someone very near and dear to my heart. Sing it out if you know it.”

Your heart ached at his words. It had been years, sure, but he was always the one that got away. You couldn’t help but feel burning jealousy directed at whoever he wrote this song for.

But then you heard your name and your heart stopped for a moment before galloping a million miles per hour. One of the girls you’d met in line nudged you with her elbow and wiggled her eyebrows when she heard. “Wouldn’t it be so funny if this was for you?”

“Hilarious.” You nodded, faking a laugh.

Why would he write a song for you? Did it mean he missed you too? Or was it something he wrote when you were together and it became a hit with his fans later? You couldn’t figure it out. All you could do was question it.

The rest of the set seemed to fly by and you found yourself enjoying the music even if you were stunned into silence the whole time.

But then it happened.

As he exited the stage, he saw you. Your eyes locked and you stopped breathing. Everything melted away and it was just the two of you. You couldn’t breathe. But as quickly as the moment came, it was over as he was ushered away for the staff to start setting up for the final act.

You felt like you might crumple to the ground if you dwelled on it but that’s what you did even as the final act performed. You recorded your favorite songs and tried to pay attention but all you could do was think about how perfect and happy he looked as he walked off the stage. About the look on his face, like he’d been sucker punched the moment he saw you.

Apparently you were too far in your own thoughts because you were grabbed by the arm as you walked towards your car. You let out a surprised yelp but his familiar scent kept you from panicking before you saw him. “Can we talk?”

“Hongjoong.” You whispered his name, eyes wide as you spun to look at him.

“Can we talk?” He repeated after a few moments of staring at each other.

“Uh- yeah. Sure. Do you want to go to my car?” You sounded breathless as you offered the suggestion.

“Lead the way.” He released your elbow and gestured for you to show him to your car. You were ridiculously nervous now. You’d been nervous seeing him on the stage but now you were face to face and your heart was racing. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” He hummed, trying to make small talk. “It’s a long way from home.”

“It was quite the drive.” You agreed quietly. “It was the show closest to me though and you know how long I’ve wanted to see them.” You explained, referring to the headliner. He hummed in response and the rest of the walk was quiet.

You unlocked your car and got in the driver's seat as Hongjoong slid into the passenger seat. You turned the key so the air would start to cool the summer heat from the car and then turned slightly in your seat to better face him. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I miss you.” He blurted out. “I think about you every day. I wrote that song in the hopes of one day playing it for you and winning you back. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life.” He looked down at his lap and continued. “I didn’t mean to just throw that on you. I just never thought I’d see you again. I tried to reach out but nothing ever went through.”

“I blocked you.” You explained quietly, looking down as well. “I was hurt when you left so I blocked all means of communication.”

“I see…” He nodded and bit his lip. “I just…I figured as much. I just didn’t want to push and make you hate me. Though I probably did that when I left.”

“I can’t hate you.” You said incredulously. “I was hurt and angry when you left but I can’t hate you. You did what you had to do.” You sighed and shook your head. “You did it. You’re touring with one of the biggest bands in this day and age. You’ve made it. You wouldn’t have done that staying back home with me.”

“Why can’t I have both?”

“Because I’m not strong enough for that.” You bit your lip. “I’m not strong enough to wonder every day if you’re meeting someone else on the road. And I’m not strong enough to leave every bit of stability I know just to follow you. We’ve been over this.”

“I’ll abandon it all.”

“No you won’t. You’ll resent me one day.”

“I could nev-”

“You would. You’re not meant to settle in one place. You’re meant to live on the road, chasing the high of being on stage every other night. You-”

You were cut off by his lips meeting yours. It was a brief kiss. It was over just as quickly as it began. But it was enough to silence you.

“I haven’t been with anyone else. I haven’t wanted to meet anyone. If I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone.”

You could see the sincerity in his eyes and it broke you. You quickly turned away from him and put your seatbelt on. “Buckle in.”

“Where are we going?” He asked as you threw your car in reverse and backed out of the space.

“My hotel.”

He didn’t ask any further questions. He simply put his seatbelt on and allowed you to take him back to your hotel. You saw him fire off a text and figured he was letting his bandmates know where he was. But then his eyes were back on the road, occasionally stealing glances at you.

It didn’t take long for you to arrive and find parking and within minutes you were locking the door behind you. You kicked your shoes off and put your small bag on the desk. He started towards you but you held a hand up to stop him. You needed to preface this. “I won’t say this will go anywhere. But I at least need you for tonight.”

“It can go wherever you want it to go.”

“Then kiss me.” You dropped your hand and stepped towards him. Instantly, he was on you.

His kiss was brutal. It reminded you of your past and you felt yourself fall into the same rhythm you’d grown accustomed to all those years ago. Your arms slipped around his neck as he backed you towards the bed and you let out a contented sigh against his lips. This was right.

It had been too long since you were intimate with him but the familiarity never faded. You suddenly needed him like you needed air. His lips began to trail towards your neck and you tipped your head back, allowing him better access. “Joong?” He hummed against your skin in response so you continued. “When you said you haven’t been with anyone else…neither have I.”

His only response was a low groan as he urged you onto the bed. His hands slipped under your ripped shirt and you bit your lip. His hands felt electrifying on your bare skin. You didn’t want tonight to end for fear that he’d slip away again when you needed this. Needed him.

He still knew your body after all this time. His hands slid higher and higher until he was tossing your shirt aside. “No bra? You’ve gotten bolder.” He teased as he dusted kisses along your collarbones. His lips dipped lower and encased one of your nipples and you let out a soft sigh. “Missed this so much.” He whispered before continuing, flicking his tongue back and forth over the sensitive peak.

Your hands tangled in his hair and you gave a light tug, urging him to swap sides. You wanted to hurry things along, knowing what he’d do next. He wasn’t predictable in bed, he just loved going down on you before actually taking you. That was always the one consistent thing. Knowing that he hadn’t been with anyone else, you knew that hadn’t changed.

“So eager.” He ribbed as he swapped sides, circling your now-wet nipple with his middle finger as his tongue gave attention to your untouched one. His free hand caressed your side, his touch leaving behind a trail of fire.

“Can’t help it. It’s been too long.” You whined, not wanting him to keep teasing.

“Don’t worry, I know what you want. I’ll make sure it’s even better than the last.” He assured you as his lips skimmed lower, his fingers deftly unbuttoning your shorts before hooking in the waistband. He tugged your fishnets down with your shorts in one go and tossed them to join your shirt on the foot of the bed.

As soon as you were down to just your panties, his head was between your legs. He pressed soft kisses to the insides of your thighs and ran his hands along the outsides. “Missed this so much. Missed you so much.” He murmured against your skin as his lips trailed higher.

When he reached the apex of your thighs, he took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of your arousal and groaning. He traced small shapes over your panties and watched as the wet patch grew until they were fully drenched. “Always so responsive to my touch.” He whispered in awe before finally breaking the trance he was in and tugging the thin cotton to the side. “And as beautiful as ever.”

Then his lips were pressing against your soaking cunt, his tongue dipping between your folds. You sucked in a gasp at the contact and instantly reached to tangle a hand in his hair. His touch dragged up memories that made heat pool low in your belly and you couldn’t stop yourself from grinding against his tongue.

His tongue flicked back and forth over your clit, lapping at you like a man starved, and you forced yourself to keep your voice down. You’d be horribly embarrassed to be heard vocalizing through the walls. “Joong…” You sighed, melting into the sheets when he slipped two fingers into your pussy.

He hummed against you in response and the vibrations made your head spin. As if to further prove that he still knew your body, he curled his fingers and instantly found your g-spot. This earned a louder moan and you pressed down against his touch in search of more.

“Taste so fucking good, baby.” He groaned before closing his lips around your clit and sucking. Your back arched at the sensation and he chuckled against you before doing it again as he scissored his fingers.

He alternated between licking and sucking as his fingers worked you closer to the edge. He slipped a third finger in and you felt the knot in your belly begin to fray. “Joong ‘m close-” You moaned.

Your warning only spurred him on and he worked harder to get you off. His fingers curled as he sucked harshly on your clit and your thighs began to tremble on either side of his head. But something felt different.

Before you could process what was happening, you were squirting all over his hand and face. He groaned loudly against you as he helped you ride it out and you had to fight to stay quiet. It was the most intense, satisfying orgasm of your life. And he’d given you plenty of satisfying orgasms in the past.

When he pulled back, your release was dripping from his chin. Your cheeks flamed and you began to babble out apologies but he quickly silenced you by licking his lips and offering a lazy smirk. “I had no idea you could do that, baby. Why didn’t we try before?”

“I-I didn’t know I could either.” You admitted timidly as he stood from between your legs.

“Wanna try for another? I’m dying to be inside you.” You nodded furiously and he grinned. “Good girl.”

You watched as he quickly undressed and cleaned himself up a bit, still trying to catch your breath. You took the time to admire him, taking in his physique with hungry eyes. The man was still absolute perfection and you couldn’t believe you ever let him go.

Now fully naked, he fully removed your panties then crawled over you and took a moment to look into your eyes. You could see the words he wanted to say swimming in his eyes but he held back. Now wasn’t the time.

Instead, he offered up a playful quip. “Guess we know you’re wet enough for me.”

“Shut up.” You whined quietly as your cheeks heated and he chuckled softly before switching gears.

“Wanna be inside you so bad…”

“Then fuck me, Joong.” You whispered, attempting to tug him down for a kiss.

“Tell me how bad you want it, baby.”

“So fucking bad, Joong. Need you so bad. I haven’t been able to even think about another man since you left. I’ll go insane if you don’t take me right now.” His eyelids grew heavier with each word and as soon as you finished speaking, he slid into you in one fluid motion.

He let out a long groan and buried his face in your neck as he bottomed out, his hands curled into fists on either side of your head. “Christ, y/n, you’re so fucking tight…”

You let out a helpless moan at the full sensation and bit your lip when he rolled his hips. “Wait.” He paused but didn’t pull back to look at you and you reached blindly for your shorts, quickly grabbing your phone when you found them.

As you scrolled through the music, he finally lifted his head. “Baby, what are you doing? I’m dying here.” He truly sounded agonized at not being able to move when finally sheathed inside you after so long.

“You’ll see.” You smirked as you finally found what you were looking for. You dropped your phone back on the bed and wrapped your arms around his neck as the first notes drifted from your speaker, soon followed by his voice.

“What’s this?” He asked with a grin.

“Even if I was distracted for the entirety of your set, the music still turned me on.” You shrugged then wiggled your hips. “Now,” You sighed at the sensation. “Why don’t you show me what I've been missing?”

“You’re fucking unbelievable.” He groaned and crashed his lips to yours as he rolled his hips. Your eyes slipped shut as a moan tumbled from your lips and you held him tightly.

Your nails dug into his back as he set his pace, his thrusts deep and powerful. His lips trailed back to your neck and he worked on sucking a mark into your skin as you reached up to tug at his hair. “Joong…” You sighed his name, gasping a moment later at a particularly strong thrust.

His low grunts and groans were only working you up further. You’d always enjoyed hearing his sounds, they always got you impossibly wetter. And he always made sure you knew. “Just keep getting tighter and wetter for me, don’t you, baby?” You nodded quickly and clenched around him as if to emphasize his point. He let out a choked sound as his hips stuttered and pride filled your chest.

He cursed under his breath and sped up, the sound of skin slapping filling the room. You felt the knot already forming in your belly and wrapped your legs around him, hoping to draw him in impossibly deeper. You needed for him to be close.

It had been too long. You’d missed this so much. In truth, you didn’t want it to just be tonight. But you were afraid of what it looked like to be in a relationship with a touring musician. So tonight was what you were going to allow yourself. Anything else would have to be off the table.

Tears formed in your eyes at the thought but you forced them away. But Hongjoong noticed before you could and smirked, completely misunderstanding. “That good, baby? You like it that much?” You nodded quickly, eager to play along and forget why you were really crying.  “Whose pussy is this? Tell me, baby. Tell me who owns this pussy.”

“You!” You cried. “It’s all yours, Joong! ‘M all yours.” And you were. No matter how badly it hurt or how scary it was, you were his.

“That’s right, baby. All mine. ‘Nd I'm all yours. Nothing’s ever gonna change that.” He pulled out and you frowned, the tension in your belly already starting to dissipate. “Flip over for me.” You did as instructed and wiggled your ass to tempt him. You yelped when he slapped your ass and he chuckled as he lined back up. “Wanna feel this perfect pussy in every position imaginable.”

“Do it.” You urged, moaning softly when he filled you again. He wasted no time in setting a rougher pace, both hands finding purchase on your ass and squeezing the soft flesh there.

Your toes curled instantly when he hit your g-spot dead on and your arms quickly gave way, leaving you to fall face first into the sheets. You feared your makeup would smudge and transfer onto the sheets but that quickly became the least of your concerns when you felt him sliding his hands up your back.

When he reached your shoulders he held you in place and gave a few hard thrusts before pulling you up. You were helpless, only able to moan at what he was doing to you. You allowed him to pull you up so your back was to his chest and he secured an arm across your front to keep you there.

His heavy breathing right by your ear only served to turn you on further and you clenched involuntarily around him. “Shit, baby, do that again.” He groaned, his free hand moving between your legs.

You followed his orders and tightened around him again, whimpering at the sensation. His fingers quickly found your clit and began to rub tight circles there. “Joong-”

The hand that held you in place against him slid up towards your throat and your head fell back on his shoulder. He knew you wouldn’t protest but still went slowly just in case. Finally, his fingers wrapped around your throat and you couldn’t stop the shudder that ran through your body as he tightened his grip.

“You like that?” You nodded furiously and he nipped at your earlobe. “Always did.”

His pace was brutal and unforgiving as he fucked into you, leaving you to claw at his forearms as he gently released your throat. You could feel him falling into a frenzy, his thrusts growing sloppy as his orgasm neared. You knew he wouldn’t last much longer and made it your mission to finish him off.

“Joong?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Want you to cum inside.” He cursed at that and you felt your own orgasm lurch closer. “I- oh- I’m on birth control ‘n’ I want you to fill me up. Please?” You pleaded breathlessly.

“You’re going to be the death of me, y/n.” His voice was strained and pride swelled in your chest. You could feel him getting closer to the edge and bit back a loud moan as you clenched around him again, the sensation nearly undoing you. “Shitshitshit ‘m cumming-” He warned as he let go, filling you to the brim.

You wanted to scream as he shuddered behind you. You always loved watching him fall apart and you wished you could watch once again. You needed to see him come undone.

His hips slowed slightly but his fingers worked furiously against your clit to bring you down with him. You felt tears spring into your eyes again as sensation overwhelmed your body and they wasted no time in spilling onto your cheeks. “Want you to cum all over my cock, baby. Let go for me. I feel you fighting it.” You were. You wanted to hold off, wanted to keep him here with you for longer.

But his coaxing tipped you over the edge and molten pleasure filled your veins. Your vision whited out briefly as you trembled under his touch, your release mingling with his as it ran down your thighs.

He took your jaw in his hand and forced you to face him, then caught your lips in a blistering kiss. You were still shaking when he pulled back and began to shower your face with kisses. “Why are you crying, baby? Was it too much?” His voice was laced with concern.

“No, just really fucking good.” You explained breathlessly, chasing his lips that now tasted like your salty tears. The kiss was brief and comforting. “Don’t wanna stop.” You admitted quietly as he pulled out.

“No?” You shook your head. “Hold on.” He instructed as he untangled himself from you. He sat on the bed, by the headboard, then motioned for you to come to him. “C’mere.”

You crawled to him and immediately straddled his lap, trapping his cock between your bodies. “Can I be honest?” You asked as his arms snaked around your middle.

“You know I want you to.”

“I’m terrified right now.”

“I am too.” He admitted quietly, a small smile on his face. “I’m terrified of what happens after this. I’m so afraid for what’s next. But you know something?” You hummed in response and he continued. “It’s okay because I'm with you. Even if this goes nowhere, I can say I got a chance to properly send you off instead of vanishing on you like last time.”

“I don’t want this to go nowhere.” You blurted out.

“I don’t either. I’m yours and I always will be. No one else matters but you. And I know that even if I don’t have you, I’ll still be faithful to only you. Like I have been all this time. But I want you back.”

“It’s scary.” You whispered as you slipped your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I’m so fucking scared of what happens when you’re away.”

“Nothing happens. We stay the same. We stay hopelessly in love and wait until we’re back together and we do it all over again.” He kissed your shoulder, his voice suddenly strained. Was he…about to cry? “These have been the longest years of my life, y/n, and I’d give anything to change how things went between us. But I understand where you’re coming from.”

Oh. Oh no. Was he…was he giving up? Panic filled your body and you hugged him tighter, pressing your nose to his neck. “I’m so sorry. I never should’ve made you choose. It hurt me just as much.” You pressed a small kiss to his skin. “There’s…so much to figure out if we do this.”

“Y/n?”

“I want to figure it out. I’m fucking terrified but I want to figure things out, Hongjoong.” You pulled back just enough to stare into his eyes and found them misty. “I missed you so much. I don’t want to go through losing you again.”

“You won’t. I’m right here.” He pulled you back into him and kissed your cheek as his arms tightened around your middle. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

The air felt lighter now but something electric still crackled between the two of you. You couldn’t help yourself and turned to catch his lips as he reached between you to line up. Your breath hitched as you sank down onto him, your lips finally meeting in a sickeningly sweet kiss.

As cheesy as it sounded, you felt complete in the moment. Like a piece of yourself that had been missing was back in its rightful place now. And it was.

Things seemed to move in slow motion now as you rolled your hips, gasping into the kiss at the sensation of being full all over again. You set a slow pace, sinking into his touch only to lift back up onto your knees a moment later. It was maddening.

But a moment later, you were being tipped backwards. You landed flat on your back with Hongjoong on top of you, keeping the pace you’d set as he thrusted into you. This didn’t feel like makeup sex, this felt like making love. And you were all too happy to let it carry on.

He took your hands in his and intertwined your fingers, pinning your hands above your head. You allowed him to hold you in place as he stroked deep within you, loving how possessive he seemed in the moment.

You were a live wire. Your body was already overwhelmed with sensation and you knew you wouldn’t last very long with him fucking into you like he was. Still, you were going to fight to hold on as long as possible.

You weren’t sure when he started chanting “mine” but his words were like a prayer murmured against your feverish skin. He seemed drunk off you and it made your head spin. The moment was too perfect.

“Joong- oh-” You gasped as he gave a powerful thrust, the motion driving you up the mattress a bit.

You weren’t kissing, your mouths were simply pressed together, drinking up each other's sounds. You couldn’t stand to have any space between you as he worked to bring you both over the edge.

“So fuckin’ close-” He warned, his hips stuttering as if to prove his point. “You want it inside, baby?”

“Please.” You whimpered, all too eager to be filled again.

Your legs wrapped around his waist and you shuddered as he seemed to fall even deeper into you. He slipped a hand between your bodies and began to trace circles over your clit, wanting you to finish with him. It was enough to make your entire body burn with desire as your orgasm lurched closer.

“So good, baby. So fuckin’ good.” He groaned as he came undone, filling you with his release.

Lewd sounds filled the room as you drew near to completion, his cum dripping out of you and running down your ass as he continued to fuck you. He seemed to know you needed a little push so lightly pinched your clit, earning a surprised yelp as pleasure filled your body. “Do it again.” You pleaded breathlessly.

And the moment he did, you lost yourself to the pleasure. You couldn’t dream of keeping quiet this time and simply prayed no one was around to hear you calling his name. Your entire body shook with the force of your orgasm and it overwhelmed you. Within moments, you were begging him to stop. “Too much.” You whined, slowly relaxing as he stilled and kissed along your jaw.

“You did so well, baby. Such a good girl for me.” He praised and your cheeks heated.

You laid there basking in the afterglow for what felt like ages but could realistically have only been two minutes before he pulled out slowly. You whimpered at the loss of contact but he leaned down and pressed a series of tender kisses to your ribcage. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” He whispered against your skin and you nodded, reaching out to gently push his hair back from his sweaty face.

“You better not.” You whispered back, your throat tight. “I need you.”

“I need you too.” He leaned up and caught your lips in a sweet kiss. “More than anything.”

[lemmetreatya]

nude model!gojo who honestly became a nude modeller for fun. the man already had a successful career as a cat walker, cataloguer and a social media influencer but it just wasn’t doing anything for him.

“satoru, i just dont think it’s worth the indecency to move down that career pathe. plus it’s just tacky.”

safe to say, that personal assistant was sacked! that was nude model!gojo’s trigger to pull away from the agency life and is now a freelancing nude model — yippee!

but unfortunately, nude model!gojo found out the hard way that freelancing wasn’t easy and that maybe he kinda underestimated the power of a pa scouting all those gigs for him. not very yippee at all. but not to threat! nude model!gojo has connections of his own — friends who owe him favours, models who looked up to him, fans who revered him! luckily, the first person nude model!gojo could think to turn to was his trusty best friend who also happened to be an excellent networker.

“you want me to find you a nude gig, right?”

your face glowers blue from the light of your laptop. your eyes peer over the top to watch at nude model!gojo who appeared to have no concern for a couch that wasn’t his own.

“yes. nothing catwalky or social media-y. that shit actually acquires work.” nude model!gojo groans.

“i hear it…” you continue tapping at your laptop but after a few minutes youre shaking your head.

“no luck?” nude model!gojo mumbles.

“there’s barely anything paid for this typa stuff. at this point you’re better off creating the content yourself to build a portfolio.” with a shrug you close your laptop screen.

sitting up, nude model!gojo suddenly has an enthusiastic spirit. something in you tells you that’s a bad reaction.

“then why don’t we make a portfolio now?!”

you sigh, because you somehow knew he’d suggest something along those lines, but anything to help a creative in need you guess.

backdrop out, lamp lights on and nude model!gojos walking around butt naked in your living room turned-studio.

“gojo, you can’t be bricked up for this typa shit.” you half sigh as you try and avert your eyes. now that you think about it, this was your first time seeing nude model!gojo in this light and youd be lying if you said you weren’t impressed.

with a huff, nude model!gojo sits down on the chair propped up between the lamplights and backdrop, manspreading as if he was fully clothed.

“hows that my fault?”

he grumbles but theres a glint in his blue pupils once he sees your wandering eyes that always seem to watch back at his curved cock. with a sly smile, nude model!gojo holds his member at the base and languidly strokes a hand up it as he watches your wanton reaction.

“well?!” he teases at you to gauge your attention. when your eyes meet his, he knows you’re both on the same page. “its not gonna go down on its own now, is it?”

nude model!gojo moans with his head backwards at the feeling of your mouth indulging around his cock. the soft wetness of your tongue and hollowed cheeks are so addictingly sweet that he cant help but buck upwards into you.

“oh…my love, you’re just perfect.”

nude model!gojo is even more enamoured once he realises that you dont even let your gag reflexes stop you from spatting up onto his cock, your saliva bubbly white and phlegmish as you the continue to fist the rest of his length.

“dont need no gig…” he moans as he ends up fucking your face. “you’re enough” is what he ends up garbling before he’s spilling down the length of your throat.

hes so pleased. so so pleased at your performance. nude model!gojo almost jokes that you should probably start a channel with him — give the audience something they dont even know they want yet.

“let’s focus on getting your portfolio done first.” you croak, as you wipe your lips with your palms but when you look up at nude model!gojo from your position on the floor, shivers run down your back.

“problem hasn’t been solved yet though.” nude model!gojo says as he sweetly taps his once again semi hard cock against the dip of your lips.

[justforbooks]

Marianne Faithfull, singular icon of British pop, dies aged 78

Singer and actor overcame drug addiction and homelessness to collaborate with everyone from the Rolling Stones and Metallica to Jean-Luc Godard

Marianne Faithfull, whose six-decade career marked her out as one of the UK’s most versatile and characterful singer-songwriters, has died aged 78.

A spokesperson said: “It is with deep sadness that we announce the death of the singer, songwriter and actress Marianne Faithfull.

“Marianne passed away peacefully in London today, in the company of her loving family. She will be dearly missed.”

With a discography that spanned classic 60s pop tunes to the prowling synthpop of Broken English and onto collaborations with Nick Cave, Warren Ellis, Lou Reed and more, Faithfull was idolised by fans and fellow musicians alike, and was also celebrated across the worlds of fashion and film.

Mick Jagger, with whom she had a four-year relationship, said: “I am so saddened to hear of the death of Marianne Faithfull. She was so much part of my life for so long. She was a wonderful friend, a beautiful singer and a great actress. She will always be remembered.”

Born in 1946 in London, Faithfull was descended from Austrian nobility on her mother’s side – her great-great-uncle Leopold von Sacher-Masoch wrote the erotic novel Venus in Furs – but grew up in relatively ordinary surroundings in a terraced house in Reading.

After leaving for London in her teens, she met Rolling Stones manager Andrew Loog Oldham, who asked Mick Jagger and Keith Richards to write her 1964 debut single As Tears Go By, which hit the UK Top 10. She had three other Top 10 singles in 1965, all of which also reached the Top 40 in the US.

Faithfull also began acting at that time, appearing on stage in productions of Chekhov’s Three Sisters, alongside Glenda Jackson, and Hamlet, playing Ophelia with Anjelica Huston as her understudy and performing each night’s climactic “madness” scene, she later revealed, high on heroin.

On screen, she acted alongside Orson Welles, Oliver Reed, Alain Delon and Anna Karina, and played herself in Jean-Luc Godard’s 1966 film Made in the USA.

Her fame as an icon of “swinging London” was superseded, though, by the infamy that came from her relationship with the Rolling Stones. She had married the artist John Dunbar in 1965 and had a son, Nicholas, but soon left Dunbar for Mick Jagger.

She was often described as a muse for the band: she once told Jagger “wild horses couldn’t drag me away”, which became the chorus line to Wild Horses, and her drug struggles also proved inspirational for the songs Dear Doctor and You Can’t Always Get What You Want. She said: “I know they used me as a muse for those tough drug songs. I knew I was being used, but it was for a worthy cause.”

She co-wrote her song Sister Morphine, recorded with Jagger, Richards and Ry Cooder, and later recorded by the Rolling Stones for their album Sticky Fingers, but her writing credit was left off until she won a protracted legal battle.

Her addiction to cocaine and heroin worsened, and her reputation was damaged by being discovered naked, wrapped in a fur rug after having a shower, during a 1967 police search of Keith Richards’ house, alongside Richards, Jagger and six other men (described by one person as an innocent gathering “of pure domesticity”). “It destroyed me,” she later said. “To be a male drug addict and to act like that is always enhancing and glamorising. A woman in that situation becomes a slut and a bad mother.”

In 1970, Faithfull lost custody of her son, split with Jagger and became homeless, living on the streets of Soho in London as she tried to quit heroin. “I’d been living in a very fake sort of world in the 60s,” she said in 2016. “Suddenly, when I was living on the streets … I realised that human beings were really good. The Chinese restaurant let me wash my clothes there. The man who had the tea stall gave me cups of tea.” She slowly turned her life around, ending an almost decade-long spell away from music with the country album Dreamin’ My Dreams in 1976.

She cemented her comeback with one of her most acclaimed albums, 1979’s Grammy-nominated Broken English, embracing synthpop and postpunk with an affectingly raw, deepened voice. She quit drugs for good in 1985, and regularly released music throughout the rest of her career. Her collaborators over the years included Nick Cave, Damon Albarn, Emmylou Harris, Beck and Metallica. She released 21 studio albums.

Faithfull married and divorced two additional times, to Ben Brierly of punk band the Vibrators, and the actor Giorgio Della Terza. “I’ve had a wonderful life with all my lovers, and husbands,” she said in 2011, excepting Della Terza: “He was American, and he was a nightmare.”

There were other acting roles, too, notably playing God in two episodes of the sitcom Absolutely Fabulous; the devil in a 2004 production of The Black Rider, a musical by Tom Waits and William Burroughs; and Empress Maria Theresa in Sofia Coppola’s film Marie Antoinette.

In her later years she lived in Paris, and reacted to the 2015 terror attack at the city’s Bataclan concert venue, in which 90 people were killed, with a song called They Come at Night written on the day of the attacks.

Faithfull had numerous health issues. In 2007, she announced she had the liver illness hepatitis C, having been diagnosed 12 years previously. She had successful surgery following a breast cancer diagnosis in 2006, and weathered numerous joint ailments in her later years, including arthritis. In the early 1970s, she also suffered from anorexia during her heroin addiction. In 2020, she contracted Covid-19 and was hospitalised for 22 days.

She is survived by her son, Nicholas Dunbar.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[moonbyulsstuff]

hi, I am a little bit confused if your requests are open, but could you please write headcanons with Seong Taehoon x fem reader where the reader is a guitarist from a rock band(at the time when Taehoon met Hobin) and her band is popular like Tokio Hotel, they suddenly and quickly became popular and they were also very young when they became popular. reader the band goes on tours all over the world and they have a lot of fans

Rockstar Baby.

Female Reader.

Requested.

Request Rules.

Masterlist.

You two dated before you and your friends formed a group.

Taehun was surprised to learn that you actually played the guitar.

And was instantly mesmerized by the you played the guitar.

The way you look so concentrated while playing and the way your hands plucked the string.

It always caught his attention and draw him to it.

Whenever he was angry or moody, he would ask, well more like demanded, for you to play the guitar for him.

It always soothed him whenever he hears you play the guitar.

It calmed him down better than letting his feelings out during his training in Taekwondo.

So when you and your friends formed a band and started to take gigs, Taehun would always be there.

But Taehun would always deny it whenever you ask him. But he truly goes to show his support for you.

And when your band got scouted by an agency, Taehun was the first in line to buy your band album.

And of course like always, he would always deny it whenever you asked him.

But he always listen to those albums whenever you are too busy with the band.

Knowing you are the one behind those guitar melody, it ease his heart.

But the only thing Taehun hated was the fact you got more popular and that means, a lot of guys were even more interested in you.

And he hated it so much.

Just seeing those fans basically proclaiming their love for you.

It irritated him so much, it makes him want to fight every guy that is basically proclaiming their love for you.

He was the only one that could do so.

Taehun was your boyfriend after all.

Though he would deny it whenever you see him getting jealous.

Your band grew popular enough for you to go on a tour.

And of course, you brought Taehun with you.

But it was mostly him, begging demanding you to take him in case someone tries to flirt with you.

He would be in the crowd, front row watching as the crowd goes crazy for your bands performance.

Seeing you go crazy and basically put on a performance for the crowd.

It made Taehun blush but also irritated when he remembered there was a bunch of people witnessing the moment.

If he could kill, he'll gladly do so.

Taehun was your number 1 biggest supporter.

He would buy every merch and album your group has.

And always made sure to buy the merch that has your face.

And when it was revealed by Hobin who found out during his live which was witnessed by thousands of people.

That you and Taehun were basically dating.

The internet went wild.

The famous beloved guitarist of R/B and the infamous Taekwondo player were dating?!

It brought much attention to the band.

And of course, Taehun confirmed it by himself.

He didn't care if the your agency basically told you to deny and say it was a misunderstanding.

He wanted the whole world to know you were his and no man could take you from him.

But since it brought the band so much free media attention and basically giving the band even more popularity.

The agency basically sucked it up.

And Taehun wasn't listening to them and it's not like you were going to deny it either.

You were gonna fully embraced that you were dating Taehun Seong.

And he loved it.

Being labelled as your boyfriend, it brought him so much satisfactory.

Knowing those pesky fans don't have a chance with you.

[upismediacenter]

FEATURE: Stop wondering, it’s just HEY JUNE!

Biglang liwanag ang mata, ako ay natulala… This line from the song “LASIK” perfectly describes the feeling of watching HEY JUNE! step on the UPIS stage. After hearing that song, as well as “Panahon”, live from their performance at APLAYA: Battle of the Bands 2024, I have no doubts that your curiosity of this band has been piqued. Well, if you have been wanting to know more about them or have simply been wanting to discover good new music, you’re in luck! I was able to sit down with them and ask a couple of questions, so stop wondering—let’s get to know HEY JUNE!!

HEY JUNE! is composed of members Jim (21; guitar, vocals, songwriting), Coey (23; bass and backup vocals), and Aci (21; drums). When I asked the three to introduce their band, I fully expected a description of their genre or their music—maybe something you would see in a typical bio. The answer I got was, instead, something much more sincere.

They started off by mentioning that they are a three-year old band who was formed during the pandemic by Soupstar Music, a management group in the Filipino music industry. Then to describe themselves, they said that they are kids who do not box themselves in. They are creative, explorative, and collaborative. 

“We just want good music,” Jim said.

“We enjoy what we do, and we make music that speaks volumes about who we are, what we experience, or what other people experience and can relate to,” Coey added.

Talking about how they were formed, they went back to June 2021 when Soupstar had a special project. The band talked about how their name came about, since “HEY JUNE!” was evidently rooted from the month they were formed. They mentioned that they did not choose that name when they were surveyed, but it won when interviews were conducted. In the end, of course, the name ended up becoming beloved. Jim also talked about the exclamation point they added at the end. Since HEY JUNE! visited UP for this interview and ordered Pancit Canton from the iconic kiosks before it, the guitarist took the opportunity to make an analogy and say they added it so that, like the noodles, their name had some spice.

When it was Coey’s turn to talk about their formation, she said, “Strangers to bandmates to friends.” The three, in response, started teasing each other, pretending that they still see each other as strangers. 

After their jokes ran their courses, the bassist began telling the stories of how each of them became part of the band. For herself, she was Mr. Herbert Hernandez’s (from Moonstar88 and 6cyclemind, also the creator of the song “LASIK”) neighbor, and she had long been playing guitar in her school, so she was referred by Mr. Hernandez. Aci, meanwhile, was a big fan of OPM from Romblon. He strongly supported OPM, traveling long distances to attend events involving it. Since he was also a drum student of Velvet Playground, Soupstar’s music school, he was tapped to be part of the band. Lastly, they found Jim on Facebook.

“Nasa Marketplace, [On Marketplace,]” they slipped in jokingly.

“Kalaro ko sa Tetris dati, [Used to be my playmate in Tetris,]” Aci added.

The reality is that the songwriter had upped the post where the band was looking for members. He was then asked if he wanted to join, to which he agreed.

After that, I asked the band what expectations they had going into joining the band. 

Jim had not expected much—all that mattered to him was that they fit together when they played and they all agreed on the direction of their band. As time went by, he said that they eventually connected altogether. 

Aci at first put focus on getting to know his bandmates—their personality and behavior, but he also did have the expectation that the band would last.

“Pangmatagalan, [Long-lasting,]” he said. “. . . Parang maging pamilya na rin, [Kind of become family, too,]” he added, then he joked, “Kahit na hindi kami magkakaibigan, gano’n. Pamilya, pero hindi magkakaibigan. [Even if we’re not friends. Family, but not friends.]”

He and Coey had a quick exchange, the bassist protesting that it should be both friends and family, to which the drummer immediately conceded: “Biro nga lang ‘yun! Pero ‘yun. Pamilya at kaibigan. Siguradong pamilya. [That was just a joke! But yes. Family and friends. Definitely family.]”

For Coey, she shared that they had not known joining the band would have a big impact on their lives and their passions for music. They surely did not expect for it to turn out how it did, but she said that they are very grateful that they gelled together, that they had chemistry, and that they are doing gigs and are making music that they enjoy.

“It’s our happiness to perform,” she said.

For her, personally, she was excited when she joined the band because it had been her lifelong dream to be in one. She had to turn down previous chances of having bands since her parents had not allowed her, but when she was asked if she wanted to be part of HEY JUNE!, “Nag-yes na ako agad. [I said “yes” immediately.]”

With their three years as part of HEY JUNE!, I asked each member what their favorite aspect of being in the band is.

For Jim, he said that it is performing with his bandmates who are comfortable on the stage with their instruments. He noted that he is not that expressive of a person, so being alongside his bandmates who are doing their thing, who are enjoying their performances, makes him feel drawn to joining them.

“I’m [with] the right people to be around,” he said, pointing out that especially in a band, there is a need to be cohesive, to be jiving together.

In response to that, Coey agreed, saying that it is “less about myself, more about us”. She added that it makes her happy because as the “ate” of the group, she cannot help but look out for her bandmates as both a personal friend and as a bandmate. She knows that she is strong in a way, and she wants to share that with them. When they’re having trouble, she wants them all to be connected.

“The best thing about being in HEY JUNE! is . . . trust. We’re trusting each other na kaya naming makipag-usap sa isa’t isa, maging pleasant man or unpleasant yung topics. Yung, parang, wala kang takot na ma-judge din, [We’re trusting each other that we can talk to one another, no matter if the topics are pleasant or unpleasant. It’s, like, you have no fear of being judged as well,]” Coey said.

For Aci, he shared that by being part of HEY JUNE!, he was able to find his purpose in the world. 

“Malalaman mo yung purpose mo sa mundo . . . Siyempre, binigay ni Lord yung talento sa’yo, so i-share mo din sa iba, [You will discover your purpose in the world . . . Of course, the Lord gave you your talent, so share it with others, too,]” he said.

“Parang binigyan ni Lord ng direction yung talents namin, [It’s like the Lord gave direction to our talents,]” Coey added.

Another commendable part of being in the band is the support that they receive. They gave a shout-out to their management—specifically their manager, Mr. Darwin Hernandez, and their road manager, Ms. Harieth Escobar; they also mentioned their label, Island Records, and those who believe in them, be it fans, friends, or family.

When I asked the three about their vision for the band, their first answer was longevity. They want to stay happy. Jim talked about how, especially in our generation, “We live in a world where everything’s so fast.” There is a tendency for us to set aside future plans, so with that, as part of the youth, the band just wants to enjoy and have it last a long time.

“More songs to make, more people to meet, more stages to be in, and also to learn more about ourselves along the way,” Coey answered. She also spoke of staying grounded no matter how many years pass, and simply having HEY JUNE! grow further. “Malaki yung vision namin for HEY JUNE! [Our vision for HEY JUNE! is big] and we’ll just enjoy it along the way,” she said.

Of course, not everything is perfect. It is not always easy. One hardship that the band had encountered, Coey mentioned, was the pressure that they had felt from the very start. Their management is very reputable, handling big bands such as Moonstar88, 6cyclemind, Imago, among others, so being a new band, HEY JUNE! worried about how they would face the public. Their manager, in response, simply kept instilling in them the mindset that they were put in that spot because they knew HEY JUNE! were capable of handling that pressure. The band admits that until now, they do still feel that pressure, but it is safe to say that it has changed and has become more of motivation. 

Additionally, disagreements happen—as they inevitably do. But Coey said that as long as there is trust between the members, and as long as they really communicate, they do not set aside others’ opinions, they value each others’ perspectives, and they learn to understand each other in their own way—like a love language, she said—in the way they want to be understood, then the band will get through them.

For Jim, he talked about the hardships he faced skill-wise—in terms of singing, playing, and performing. There was also the need to learn how to push himself and pour himself, his personality, and his essence into his performances.

“Kung gusto ko pumasok sa mundo na ‘to, parang, kailangan kong tapatan [If I want to be in this world, I need to live up to it] . . . If you wanna be on a big stage, you gotta act like you’re on a big stage,” the songwriter said.

As we all looked towards Aci for his answer, Coey jokingly responded on behalf of him:

“Ang hirap kasi maging pogi. [It’s so hard being handsome.]”

Taking it seriously, Aci admitted that he had not been as disciplined before—in terms of punctuality, his actions, and other things. But he has learned now. In response, Coey and Jim brought up the topic of karma and consequences. Aci reminded us that we must really be mindful of our actions, to think if they are appropriate, because there are consequences to them.

“Like I said, ‘yun nga, yung industry na ‘to, parang, mahirap siya. Pero kailangan mong paghirapan kung gusto mo talaga, [Like I said, this industry is hard. But you need to work hard for it if you really want to,]” Coey said.

“Kailangan mong paghirapan at gamitan mo ng utak rin, [You need to work hard for it and use your head as well,]” Aci added.

“[You] reap what you sow,” Coey quoted.

Amongst new releases, tours, and live gigs, I asked the band about their recent projects and the project they are most proud of. They talked about their vinyl, their live recordings, and their album, Curiosity Killed the Cat.

Only recently, this November 9 (coincidentally the one-year anniversary of their album’s release), HEY JUNE! launched the Curiosity Killed the Cat vinyl. The band said that the vinyl acts like the culmination of their first album—something to remember it by, something that makes it tangible. It is also technically their first piece of merchandise, according to them, but they add that it is not just merch—it is also a collectible memorabilia, being signed and limited.

Meanwhile, talking about their live recordings, they shared that they had a good time shooting. They also liked them because they were able to make their music more accessible.

(The link to order their vinyl can be found here, while the live recordings of songs such as “ORASAN” and “LASIK” can be found on all music streaming platforms.)

The project they are most proud of is their album, Curiosity Killed the Cat. It is special to them because it is their first album, their debut album, and the timing felt right because they had people who wanted to listen to their music and who were waiting for their releases. 

“It’s a treat to them,” Jim said. 

“Tsaka, parang introduction. Kung sino kami, [And also, it acts like an introduction. To who we are,]” added Coey.

The album, according to HEY JUNE!, is a journey through life. They talked about how their songs bring you through that journey. For example, the title track shows how we are in a modern world where there is a lot of information and misinformation; “We just have to be careful out there,” said Coey. In “Asan Ang Gana Ko”, they said to always find your drive, if you’re losing motivation. “Just live your world,” they quoted; enjoy your life, referencing “ORASAN”. In “Katulad Mo”, they tell you to strive more towards your dreams if you have idols who inspire you and who you wanna be like. In “SINO MALI”, they tell you to be angry. Be angry at the things that you don’t agree with. Be angry that, as the youth, we aren’t being heard. And finally, it all goes back to finding yourself. “Back To You” tells us to find that thing that we always feel like home doing. 

They didn’t picture that they would be making an album, they admitted, because the way they made songs was singular. But ultimately, that made the album be the place where you can find the sound of HEY JUNE!.

Going back to May 20, I asked HEY JUNE! how they came about performing as a guest band for APLAYA, our Battle of the Bands event during UPIS Days 2024.

It apparently first came up when Andrea Rebaldo, a UPIS Batch 2026 student and a loyal JUNAKIS (what the band calls their fans), personally invited HEY JUNE! to come watch the event. 

Coey admitted that when they were invited by Andrea, performing for UPIS was already at the back of their minds. They also shared that ever since, they had been wanting to play in our school—since they met UPIS JUNAKIS, as well as since one of their friends who is a UPIS Batch 2020 alumnus, Bryant Galicia, mentioned in passing to the band that they should perform in UPIS.

They checked with their office regarding their availability to watch, but they asked themselves, “Ba’t ‘di na lang natin tugtugan? [Why not just perform for the event?]” So they started poking and prodding, asking Andrea about the setup, the number of bands performing, starting a conversation that evolved into them eventually playing on our stage.

“Honestly, gusto namin mag-support. Lalo na yung mga young bands din katulad namin na nangangarap din, diba? [Honestly, we wanted to support. Especially the young bands like us who have dreams too, right?] . . . We want to be part of that to support you guys,” the bassist said, explaining their desire to perform in UPIS. They did it—for exposure, but also to get to meet the UPIS JUNAKIS, and to introduce their music to other people.

“Pero [But] more of it, like, being part of that experience. Sobrang dami naming natutunan, din. . . . [We also learned so much,]” Coey said. “Magugulat ka [You will be surprised] how big the world is,” she shared when she talked about meeting many people and discovering many new talents.

Reflecting on the number of fans they have gathered in the UPIS community, Jim said that he still gets shocked that they are known and recognized in that way. When I asked what in their music they think resonates most with people, he mentioned that that is, after all, what they want for their music—for people to be able to relate to their songs. He mentioned, as the band’s songwriter, that the songs are personal to him, but he wants them to be relatable, “Para ‘pag pinakinggan nila, ay, they can ‘character’ themselves dito. Parang, it fits in them. [So that when they listen, they can ‘character’ themselves into them. It’s as if, it fits in them.]” He also mentions that perhaps they are able to relate with the band in a sense that they are also part of the youth.

Coey then talked about how school gigs were their favorite, as the crowds there are typically the ones that are not yet allowed to attend bar gigs or festivals. Jim adds that in school gigs, they are similar in age to those listening to them, so with those crowds, “mabilis lang ang saya do’n. [the joy comes quickly there.]”

The bassist also talked about how approachable UPIS students are. “Mahilig sila mag-support. [They are keen on supporting.]” She mentioned that, beyond just liking the band’s music, UPIS JUNAKIS support their advocacy and their passion. They say that connection is built whenever they feel support from people such as UPIS JUNAKIS who crave for more. They say that it is as if they are more than a fan, that instead they are believers.

In relation, the band also said that they themselves are approachable—“parang tropa lang [just like your friends]”. They really do want to build a community, they shared, so they tell their fans to not be shy wherever they encounter the band. HEY JUNE! is approachable and they like meeting you.

Going off of that, I asked the band what their messages were for their supporters.

For Aci, he thanked their supporters for supporting HEY JUNE! and supporting OPM—supporting local. He also expressed gratitude for their families and for the Lord.

For Coey, she talked about the common phenomenon of “gatekeeping” in our generation. “Huwag na tayo mag-gatekeep, guys. Walang magandang dulot ‘yun, [Let us not gatekeep anymore, guys. It does no good,]” she urged. She also said to watch live gigs, and to not let the opportunity pass if an artist would ever come to your school or wherever you are, because those chances don’t come often. Of course, if you have free time and the budget, it would also be good to intentionally go to gigs. It means a lot to them as musicians; it is their drive knowing people believe in them.

“Nakakagana kapag may bumubuka na bunganga habang kumakanta rin kami. Kumakanta rin, [It’s motivating when there are lips moving while we’re also singing. They’re also singing.]” Jim mentioned.

“Sana you keep loving us the way that kung pa’no niyo kami nasimulan mahalin kasi there’s more to come and matagal pa ‘tong journey natin, guys, so sama-sama tayo, [Hopefully you keep loving us in the same way you started loving us because there’s more to come and our journey will still be a while, guys, so let’s do it together,]” said Coey.

HEY JUNE! said that they hope they can return to UPIS, to perform again—about ten songs, they joked—because they were left craving for more. “Gusto pa namin kayong makilala, [We still want to get to know you,]” the bassist said. 

“Masaya ‘yun, [That was fun.]” she added, referring to APLAYA. “. . . Gusto namin maulit ‘yun, yung panahon na ‘yun, [We want that to happen again, those moments.]” she said, referencing the lyrics of their single, “Panahon”.

All that is left for us now is to keep supporting them as we wait for the time that they perform for UPIS once again.

To end the interview, I asked them some last fun questions: what their personal favorite HEY JUNE! songs were, as well as what they would tell the versions of themselves from three years ago and three years in the future.

Jim, as the band’s composer, picked “Panahon”. He said that it was because the song really left its mark (it is their most-streamed song as of today). It was a senior high school project of his, and he even mentioned how he thanked his teacher for being the reason he created the song. The joy of music, Jim said as he reflected on his choice, is that when you make something, you never know what will happen. It turns out, “Panahon” would end up being loved and enjoyed by listeners.

Being someone who started music because she had many inspirations and people she looked up to, Coey said that her favorite HEY JUNE! song is “Katulad Mo”. Now that she is in the industry, she mentioned that it further motivates her meeting her idols. 

“Marami din akong pangarap [I also have many dreams] for the people who are also dreamers like me. Keep dreaming, and put in the hard work, and just have fun, ‘cause it won’t feel like work, at all,” she said.

Aci’s motivation stems from the song, “Asan Ang Gana Ko”. There are always times that the world is tiring, that it seems difficult to get up from bed—especially that we spend every day trying to live honorably—so he uses the song to pick himself up.

“Maging masipag at palaging hanapin yung gana mo, [Be hardworking and always find your motivation,]” the drummer told us.

For the last question, we went back three years in time, Jim telling that version of himself to always be happy. He said that sometimes things get serious but, “I think it’s no worries to add a little bit of fun into your life.” And for the future, he just wished, “Sana malupit ka pa. [Hopefully you’re still astounding.]”

Coey, meanwhile, said to herself from three years ago, “You won’t be prepared for what’s to come, pero normal lang ‘yun kasi lahat naman tayo hindi natin alam kung anong mangyayari. [but that’s normal because all of us have no idea what will happen.]” She told herself to just enjoy, to stay grounded, and to not be afraid to ask for help when she needs it and to give it when she can. “Be kind, always,” she added. For the future, she told herself to just enjoy along the way. “Don’t lose your happiness. Don’t lose that smile.”

For Aci, he told his future self that he hopes he is better at playing the drums. And in terms of what he would tell his younger self, it is that what he had dreamed of then—while it continues to be his dream—he has already gotten to now. But he quotes, “malayo na, pero malayo pa. [You’ve come far, but there’s still far more to go.]”

I think there is truly nothing more fitting for this band to leave you with other than that. In the span of three years, HEY JUNE! has indeed already achieved many things, but there is certainly more to come. Hopefully, we will all be there to see it.

Now that you have gotten to know the band a bit better, may their music accompany you as you live your world. Just keep coming right back to HEY JUNE! whenever you’re looking for the motivation to face a new day.

You can find them on all music streaming platforms (just search for “HEY JUNE!”) as well as social media platforms under @heyjunemusic. Keep up with their social media to see when you can catch their live performances. Stay curious, HEY JUNAKIS!!

//by Elis Reyes

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Sparks tour 2023 part 3: The Royal Albert Hall - show #2

Got to be honest: I was falling apart at this point during the tour. It had been another night of only managing to sleep about 2 hours at most and after a full week of sleeping 2 to 5 hours a night it unfortunately became clear my breaking point had now been reached: I was feeling so ill from sleep deprivation. In the morning I wasn't sure I'd be able to go to the show, but I could be upright when the time came so the show was on! 💕 ...even if perhaps I would have to stay seated the entire time, which felt like it would be somewhat acceptable because we were seated about as far from the stage as possible this night. I ended up not remaining seated though, we're talking Sparks here after all, but please keep in mind that there might have been more to the show than I can relay. (Also, once again, a big thank you to my tour buddies! :))

Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer

I'd gotten super hooked on his song Looking Forward To Leaving by now and I had sung it quite a bit back at the hotel now that I'd caught more of the lyrics so I was super stoked to hear it again this evening, regardless of how I was feeling 🌞 I also especially enjoyed his incorporated dance moves for this song, so at this night that was my recording choice when it came to his set. You can see and hear it below :) Mr.B had also incorporated a little sales pitch for The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte this evening which was beautiful. *big thumbs up*

Before Sparks came on we could spot @nocribdoll from where we were seated and said hello from a distance by means of banana dance which was both great and effective! We also spotted Edgar Wright in the audience which was cool - we're so lucky that he was the one to make the documentary, with him being such a big fan ^^

Sparks

Sparks entered the stage to another big and beautiful applause. There was a little mess up with the first line of So May We Start which was soon caught and rectified, and honestly there's something to be said about opening one's second Royal Albert Hall show with the line “they hope that it goes the way it's supposed to go”. I for one very much respect that, and the way Russell immediately switched to the right lyrics was so impressive that it made me question if what came before had happened at all. (I'm partially sorry to be highlighting a mess up, but I just really liked it and there is footage.)

The audience was so amazing yet again, and we again got to enjoy one of those especially grand applauses already when we were just two songs into the show 💖 and, there was a small change in the setlist: they played VERONICA LAKE! Russell gave the song a proper introduction (a little history lesson with Sparks, if you will👌🏻) The performance was intense and beautiful and I really loved when the instrumental part hit :) (Unfortunately it later turned out to have been instead of Escalator (nooo my beloved!!!), but getting to hear Veronica Lake live really was a treat!)

The only upside about my tiredness was that I sucked a little less with capturing parts of the show in a less bouncy manner, but it's still Sparks so... (who was I kidding with “maybe I'll stay seated”💖) I captured a little bit of Music That You Can Dance To because it's a song I'm so keen to remember at every show and then it was time to dance our asses off and bring the party to this balcony! (We may have been far away, but we were front row in our section, so we started the party here just as much as we'd have done anywhere else in the hall ✨) I did a little banana at the right point in the song too, which funnily enough @nocribdoll managed to spot me doing 😂 I captured bits of Beaver O'Lindy (something I hadn't been able to resist on any night anyway because it is so special live), Russell's introduction to It Doesn't Have To Be That Way (ever since first seeing the show it was clear that his introductions to it were amazing and a little different every night), and Toughest Girl In Town (because of it being one of the most special songs to @dinkydiamond, and it just being great in general obviously ^^) But I think most of all I was capturing a lot of applause between songs, because the sound of these large audiences really was something that set the Royal Albert Hall shows apart 💕

When Gee, That Was Fun started the sadness really hit - nearing not just the end of this show, but also our part of the UK tour and that would mean saying goodbye to friends. (I couldn't listen to the song for a while after shows because it made me miss everything too much.) Luckily that's of course not where the show ends, we still had more applauding to do and we had an encore left! I really treasure A Love Story live and I could not love the choice for it as part of the encore more. I had loved it so much every night so far but it was cool as hell to see it from this perspective, facing the stage straight on yet far away. Those light effects *really* hit in full force when you can see the whole of it. (Not over the voice Russell does in parts of that song btw. SO GOOD.)

Apart from Veronica Lake there had been no major changes to the show, but why change a winning game? Edgar Wright took the audience photo once more, and the audience once more swayed its torches for All That. My memory is terrible in remembering any jokes that may have been made at this show (hell, I can't even remember Balls, my dearly beloved 😭) but at the end Russell blew a kiss up to @nocribdoll which was beautiful and I had accidentally captured him doing so, which wins :) They had to leave the stage a bit more swiftly than the previous night because Russell said they had a thing in the morning, but the applause had been so amazing yet again 💖

…And so ended the adventure of Sparks at the Royal Albert Hall.

Outside of the venue conversations were flowing like usual but as anyone present will know: I really was too broken to partake at that point. I had half a mind to go say thank you to Mr.B but having taken two steps in the direction of the merch table I already turned around knowing very well I couldn't do it this night. Somehow I still had managed to bring sufficient enthusiasm and energy to the show though, which honestly was a relief! 😌✊🏻 I'm really glad the power of Sparks had simply been too strong for me to remain in my seat. (There even had been a random guy on Twitter who had sat behind us in the balcony who had given us a shout out and had posted a picture of us dancing! I'm very fond of that photo, thanks random guy!)

[catch-me-hello]

Hot Blood, Episode 10: The real Hot Blood was the friends we made along the way.

Welcome to the series finale recap of Hot Blood,  an episode in which we should finally get rid of that porn title so our groups, 2am and 2pm, will emerge.

With each episode lasting only 30 minutes, I thought this would be the easiest show to recap, but that wasn’t the case. It’s been really hard to identify our trainees because the translators kept changing the spelling of their names, and after the groups became famous, several members changed their own names. I had to keep remembering that Junsu is now Jun K, and JaeBoem became Jay Park.

And I still haven’t figured out how JoKwon came back after being eliminated. The translation is sketchy. I know I’ve missed a lot of details, so thanks for hanging in there with me.

We open on the JYP Building again. We’re told it’s the night before a fan meeting event, and the trainees are rehearsing. They look more like a real K-pop group now, moving in sync and being more intuitive with each other. They are on their way to becoming idols.

Rehearsals stop when it’s time for correspondence.  A bag of blank cards is dumped out on the floor of the practice room. The guys spread out on the floor and begin writing messages to the fans. These cards will be given out to the fans at the event. The idols really put effort into it – drawing cute little pictures and hearts and writing sweet messages. They finally finish and stand up, stretching their sore muscles. They need to get some rest. They have a big day tomorrow.

D-Day – Fan Meeting Day – arrives. Fans are already gathered outside the JYP Building. The idols make their way through the crowd and onto the bus. They’re hoping at least 100 people show up. After seeing how many people showed up at their guerilla concert, I don’t think they have anything to worry about.

We cut to the venue. We have three hours until showtime, and the line already extends down the block. Fans are writing questions for the idols on a big poster. The guys go inside for rehearsal and soundcheck, and then on to hair and makeup.

The fans start entering the venue, and each one is handed one of the handwritten cards. This really was a great idea on the part of JYP. I was a teenager in the 80s, and if I had arrived at a Duran Duran concert and been handed a handwritten note by Nick Rhodes, the entire course of my life would have changed. My DNA would have been altered. I would probably be living in one of those capsules on the London Eye right now, living off spare change and temp shifts in punk clothing stores. I would have legally changed my name to Rio.

I watch as the fans excitedly read their cards and show them to their friends. I’m telling you, lives are being changed.

Showtime! The lights go down, the girls start screaming, and out come our idols. They start with a self-written rap. Then they dance to a Will Smith song. We’re getting clips of each performance, and it looks like a lot of fun. The girls are losing their minds.

After a few minutes of this, the idols take seats on the stage so they can answer fan questions. We see the posterboard crammed with questions, and I have to laugh when the host says, “Some questions are quite perverted. I’m not choosing them on purpose. Everyone, what were you thinking?”

One question read aloud is, “What part of your body are you most confident in?” Jay Park stands up and removes his jacket, pretending to look surprised at the wave of screams it brings from the audience. He says innocently that he was just trying to show his arms.

They’re asked about their time on the island, and they are very positive about their answers, saying they learned a lot. As they’re talking, we hear someone offstage blow a whistle. The soldiers are here! They march in, wearing nice suits instead of the camo uniforms. Thankfully, they are here to celebrate the idols’ first fan meeting and not to drag them back onto the ferry.

The idols greet their former tormenters and hug them. The soldiers join them onstage to talk about how everyone cried at the first eliminations and how moving it was. I keep waiting for one of them to look at Kwon and say, “Wait a minute, what are you still doing here?”

Now it’s time for another guest. It’s Jessica, the yoga teacher! Oh no. I know exactly where this is going.

Jessica walks onto the stage, looking lovely as always, and suddenly our suave idols can’t speak. They’re literally stammering and blushing. They can’t even look at her. Instead, they look shyly at the host and say they’re happy that Jessica is here, and their hands are trembling because they’re nervous.

I’m telling you, if Wonho were here, he’d look right into Jessica’s eyes and ask if she’d like to see the muscle she’d helped strengthen. THAT is what a true K-pop idol would do. Just saying.

Now for another guest. They spell his name Kim Ji Su here, but we know him as Kim Kisoo from Episode 8, the one who took them to girls’ schools to creep on underage girls advertise the guerilla concert. Yay. He brings out a cake with lit candles to celebrate the fan meeting. The idols gather around him and blow out the candles. Thank you, Mr. Kim. Now if you’ll kindly step backstage, an American named Chris Hansen would like a word with you.

More chat between the idols and their former instructors. Then Seulong tells Jessica she is pretty and has a beautiful figure and wants to know if she can show him some exercises to help maintain his figure. THERE you go, Seulong! I know at least one of you could do this!

Jessica is game. She stands up and demonstrates a tree pose. Then Kim Kisoo tries the same pose. Dude, just leave.

Time for more performances. We get solo songs and really impressive dance moves. Khun plays an electronic keyboard during a ballad.

Now for a raffle. Each idol pulls a number, and the audience member with that number gets to come onstage to interact with that idol. Some get songs sung to them, while others get to dance with the idol or have a rose handed to them. There’s a sweet moment when Kwon calls his mother’s number, and she comes onstage to hug her son.

More performances. I’m getting concerned because we’ve only got about five minutes left, and our boys have not been split into the two groups. Turns out that’s not going to happen here. The idols come out for a final farewell, and that’s it.

For people who were watching the show live when it aired, that was probably a satisfying ending. They thought they were watching the debut of the Hot Blood Boys. But for people like me, writing years afterward, it’s kind of confusing.

Google, help me out here.

Apparently, the group’s name was always One Day, even while they were training on the island. Maybe it was part of the conversation that was not translated. At some point before any studio albums were released, JYP entertainment split the group, putting four members in 2am and the remaining seven in 2pm. The 2am group is a ballad group, more sophisticated and romantic. The 2pm group is the hip-hop, more dance-focused group. The music of 2am is calm and quiet, reflecting that time of day, while 2pm brings the heat of late afternoon.

One thing I also missed is that during the audience voting, Jay Park got the highest number of votes. He was a huge fan favorite. However, his role in 2pm ended almost as soon as it began. Let’s talk about Park Jae-beom, or Jay Park.

Jay is American-born, from just outside of Seattle. He grew up obsessed with hip-hop and kept cutting school to perform with his group Art of Movement. His mom got tired of trying to keep him in school and suggested that he try out for JYP Entertainment, which was hosting auditions in Seattle. He made it in and was brought to Seoul as a JYP Trainee in 2005.

Three years later, after enduring the grueling life of a trainee getting lessons in rap, singing, and dance, he was chosen for the Hot Blood documentary.  He eventually became a part of the group 2pm. He also recorded songs for television show soundtracks and became a cast member on several Korean variety shows. His star was rising very quickly.

A year later, in September 2009, it came crashing down. In Korea, there are  K-pop fans with such a fierce loyalty to certain bands, they work to destroy the lives of idols they see as competing with their favorites. One of these toxic fans hacked Jay Park’s MySpace account and found comments he’d written in 2005, the year he first came to Korea. Those comments were leaked to the Korean media.

The comments, on their faces, were pretty bad. He wrote things like “Korea is gay,” “I hate Koreans,” “I want to go back to the States again.”

The public was furious. Jay Park tried to explain the context. He was a teenager in a foreign country where he didn’t fit in. He was homesick and lonely, he didn’t speak the language or understand the culture, and the life of a trainee was wearing him out. He was venting in English in private messages to a fellow MySpace friend back in the US.

I get it. I was in high school when I became an exchange student in Barcelona for a semester. I barely spoke Spanish and was attending an American school, so I wasn’t learning much more. I was immature and judgmental about everything, especially since I’d been raised in a strict Catholic household and hadn’t pulled out of the religious mindset yet. I hated every minute of that experience and wrote about it in letters to my family and friends and vented about it over the phone. I was not very nice to my host family. If social media had existed back then, I’m sure I would have vented there as well.

I am a drastically different person than I was as a teenager. I’m sure most people can say that, including Jay Park. If the outraged Korean public had stopped for a moment and been honest with themselves, they would have had to admit the same thing.

But they didn’t. The public demanded that the very idol they had voted most popular be removed from 2pm. JYP Entertainment initially dug their heels in and said no. But a day later, Jay announced he was leaving the group and returning to Seattle. Everything he had worked so hard for, all the risks he had taken, and all the exhausting training he had endured on the island, was all for nothing, just because he had behaved like a typical teenage boy would in such unusual circumstances. There was no forgiveness or any attempt to understand the context.

The punishment extended to the rest of 2pm. After Jay left, the group had to cancel scheduled TV appearances as well as the final episode of another reality show they were filming. They had to re-film a music video to erase Jay’s presence.

The Korean media does not forgive easily, but sometimes, they eventually do forgive. They began looking at the situation with more clarity and tried to understand Jay’s mindset when he wrote those messages. Fans began calling for Jay to return to Korea and 2pm. JYP, however, would not risk getting burned again. They terminated Jay’s contract.

Thankfully, Jay Park is doing fine. He began appearing with Art of Movement again and started performing his own music on YouTube. He became a huge success on the platform and filmed a movie called Hype Nation. He also got an endorsement deal with Levi Strauss & Co. He returned to South Korea in 2010 to a welcoming public.

Over the next couple of years, he joined SNL Korea and co-founded his own hip-hop record label AOMG. He founded another label in 2022. He’s been named one of GQ Korea’s Men of the Year. I would argue that he’s doing better than he would have if he’d stayed in 2pm.

Both 2am and 2pm had worldwide success, although 2pm was the more popular and successful of the two groups. They are both still active and releasing music, and the individual members have been doing plenty of solo projects.

And that, my fellow music fans, wraps up our wild, intense, questionably legal K-pop survival reality show.

I’ll be taking another break, but I do want to continue doing recaps. And I’m serious about Femme Factor. Please someone make it into a show. You can have the idea for free.

[miashyperfixations]

JOSHUA BASSETT: THE GOLDEN YEARS TOUR

18.01.2025 @ O2 Institute, Birmingham (1,500 Capacity)

Written Jan 2025

Joshua Bassett is an artist I’ve been a fan of for a long time now. He’s one of the few artists these days that I didn’t find through social media. I first became a fan after seeing him as ‘Ricky Bowen’ in Disney Plus’ show ‘High School Musical: The Musical: The Series’, and since then it’s been a hell of a ride hearing all of the songs he’s released since. He’s an insanely talented songwriter too, with writing credits on all of his songs, (which includes  a debut album, ‘The Golden Years’, 4 EPs, and 5 other singles since 2020), as well as some of his character’s songs on HSMTMTS.

The show opened with fellow American singer-songwriter, Thomas Day. I had never listened to his music before and I was pleasantly surprised. His newest release ‘underwear’ came out the day before the show, and he also played an unreleased song called ‘sleep when we’re dead’ , which the crowd seemed to love. His high energy and constant moving around the stage built up anticipation and energy beautifully. He was the perfect opener for Joshua.

Joshua himself is an incredible musician with even more stunning vocals. The California native started acting from a young age, and this is heavily reflected in his performance, with unrivaled energy bouncing around the stage like the true theatre kid he is, especially in ‘Would ya tell me’.

As with any other concert there were a few songs with dedicated elements. Before the third song of his set, Joshua invited two fans onstage to teach him a line dance that the three of them then performed during the song (‘Circles’), and During ‘different’ Basset walked around the edge of the room’s floor standing area shaking hands and interacting with members of the crowd who wouldn’t usually get that experience.  Many artists, as they grow, lose touch with their fans and only focus on releasing music, but Joshua shows just how much he cares about his fans and wants to keep interaction with them alive - its known that he voluntarily stays behind in between the venue and his tour bus to meet the crowd of fans that gathers after almost every show instead of just walking straight past them with a wave.

Of course, I can’t not mention the drama and speculation surrounding Bassett's career, but at the end of the day, he’s doing what he loves to an audience who loves him for it. He’s very open about the struggles he’s been through, to the point at which certain songs and speeches during the concert almost felt like a group therapy session. His song ‘Lifeline’ centers around making amends with the people you care about, even if you don’t want to  in a beautiful way, because you never really know how much time you or your loved ones have left. Similarly, songs like ‘All in due time’ & ‘Look how far you’ve come’ discuss personal growth and being proud of yourself, no matter the obstacles that may still be in your way.

Having been a fan of Joshua for so many years now, finally seeing him live was everything I dreamed it’d be. I played his ‘Sad Songs In A Hotel Room’ EP quite a lot during a particularly hard time in my life so hearing both ‘Lifeline’ and ‘All in due time’ live was something I’d wanted to experience for a while now, and it didn’t disappoint. The entire tour gives off good vibes & a sense of togetherness I haven’t seen in many crowds before, and seeing how much his songs mean to so many people was an incredible experience.

[cilogram]

Sparks Japan Tour 2023 Recap

(silly personal edition; unfortunately the only kind I'm capable of)

Saturday July 22nd, Tokyo

(Duo Music Exchange)

This is the standing venue I've mentioned before as being crazy for having massive pillars in line of sight of the stage. It was a sold out show, so unfortunately some people had to be back there...

I was unbelievably lucky with my ticket numbers and my friend and I got to stand in the front row, keyboard siiiiiide. I don't think I can express how happy I was to be there. The show was phenomenal and being in the front able to jump around and dance and experience the music Up Close was just... something else.

I really enjoyed the film score soundtrack to our waiting time before Sparks came on, too. So atmospheric.

Obligatory pre-show keyboard photo number one:

Over the loudspeakers before the band came on, the venue announced that photos and videos wouldn't be allowed during the performance, and there was a hilarious, audible reaction from the crowd as ~600 people quietly reacted like, 'whaaat?!'

(I see there were some rule-breakers in the house, though, so there are some clips and pictures on instagram and elsewhere for those who want to see!)

The stage was really shallow with the band set up and Russell could barely fit behind the keyboard to reach that side, but it was so nice that he made the effort to come and sing to those people up close, and somehow without knocking Ron over.

Also we definitely witnessed the escalator dance!

And oh man, Russell did so many dramatic leaps into the air, it was (as they say) rad.

Out of all the songs we heard that night, I think it brought me the most joy to hear Angst, and The Toughest Girl In Town. I love Interior Design and it's the album I usually put on when I'm coming home from the city at night, so hearing a song from it IN that city at night was just the best. But every song was done incredibly. Particularly Beaver O'Lindy which of course I'd never heard live before (I am sadly not a 21x21 veteran)!

And I love when a song ends and Ron does some little pose when he lifts his hands off the keyboard :')

The crowd was absolutely on fire, in SUCH good spirits! Everyone I saw was just smiling through every moment, or singing along looking elated to be there and lost in the music.

And as I'm sure we've all seen by now, encore Ron wore an Air Jordan hoodie with JAPAN written on it. Extremely appreciated.

Oh, and retrospectively I think I have to conclude that the Shopping Mall Of Love 'yeah's from this night included the hottest 'yeah' of the three tour dates. I don't make the rules, I merely observe them.

This show was everything I could have hoped for and more.

(To my friend I went with: if you're reading this, ugh, what a cherished memory it is to have seen them front row together ;_;)

Monday July 24th, Osaka

(Namba Hatch)

I went up very high to take this photo and the venue is sadly not in it, but please look at Osaka anyway just for some ~mood context~.

(And yes, person trying to see if you could peel one of the Sparks posters off the wall of the venue to take home, I saw you and I support you and I'm sorry you didn't manage to succeed!)

By the way, this venue has an impressive plethora of escalators...

Obligatory pre-show keyboard photo number 2:

You can tell how early I was by the unoccupied seats.

This was my first seated show but 99% of people were on their feet from the moment the band came on and for the entire duration of the show. Absolutely became a standing gig... I was so relieved!

I brought a non-Sparks-fan to this show and it couldn't have been a better introduction. It was just so incredibly well performed and so fun, we had such a great time.

Russell's voice was possibly somehow even better than on Saturday; I don't know, but especially his high notes had so much POWER and he looked super happy with the performances after each song :D

And omdhfhdgdg there was just so much energy from the crowd.

Being a much bigger venue than Saturday, the applause and cheering was incredible :') The audience participation in general was just brilliant!

I really like a lot of the live arrangements of the songs, too, they're so much more powerful than usual. I know with some other bands, live shows are a muddier, albeit wilder but much less listenable rendition of the album tracks, but Sparks really elevate their songs when done live.

Russell also used a few words of the local Osaka dialect when talking to the crowd which was very cute and got big cheers.

The previous venue was too small for the lighting setup I've seen in other 2023 tour photos, so this night was when we finally got to see that in action. As is Sparks' way, it was really well thought-out, so I'm very glad I got to see this more visually dramatic version of the set. I especially loved the rainbow lighting and French flag lighting moments.

This was also our first time hearing A Love Story in Japan. So fun live!

Encore Ron came out wearing a pair of novelty Osaka dialect sunglasses (which he had to lift up to see the keyboard settings 'cause they were obviously too dark, and the crowd giggled at that and so did Ron, it was... fucking cuuute.

Of course there was also a brief glimpse of no-glasses Ron when he swapped them for his normal pair later. Those of you who know me will observe my restraint in the mentioning of this)

When they were saying their final goodbyes to us, someone at the front handed Russell an art piece they'd made (it looked like a standee of him and Ron) and he did a little pose like 'I will cherish this' and then put it on the keyboard, and Ron picked it up and did a little pose with it like 'ooooh'

So cute. So lovely.

Such a stellar show! I wish I could thank everyone else in the crowd for making it so special. I'd never seen so many hands in the air.

Tuesday July 25th, Tokyo

(Line Cube)

(The second brand-related renaming of Shibuya Public Hall has given it the above amusing name. It used to be called CC Lemon Hall and I don't know which is funnier)

It's really nice inside, very modern and spacious and the seats were SO comfortable,

but this time EVERYONE immediately stood up. I didn't detect an ass in a seat for the whole show. It was beautiful. Wonderful. Unbelievably good!

(Unrelated, but in front of me was a maybe-11-year-old boy in subtle russell cosplay; wearing an exact replica of his 'having fun around Japan' outfit from the documentary (complete with the right length of trousers and legit marimekko bag in red))

Obligatory pre-show keyboard photo number 3:

Just before the 2nd or 3rd song there were some technical difficulties, during which Russell tried stalling but then obviously didn't want to stall alone for the whole time and forcibly handed Ron the mic

and Ron said,

"... the voltage in Amurica is 120, and in Japan it's 100... so sometimes things like this happen. We apologize. ^w^"

(yes he did make the face of this emoji)

(and yes I did... phonetically spell out the way Ron says America because it's just... so endearing)

The rest of the show went smoothly though! It was so, so

so

so good.

I could get into some of the moments in the songs that really move me, but I am easily embarrassed.

Okay, I will try (look, I am being so brave)

-When I'm With You: there's a beautifully-held note or two or three in this song that I'm sure all Sparks fans die at when hearing it live. That, and the 'I almost feel normal' line, really get to me.

-It Doesn't Have To Be That Way: I think we all know how rare it is for Sparks to make a song specifically in order to express a message, and I'm really glad they doubled down on that and did this one live. It hurts but it's also so simply triumphant. I love how Russell almost laughs on certain lines because it really is both absurd and exactly what artists have to deal with.

-Number One Song In Heaven. This is just one of the first Sparks songs I ever heard and it blew me into another dimension. It's ominous, it's ethereal, it's weird and perfect, and it's incredible to hear live every single time.

At the end of the show, Russell said how sad it was for them to be ending the tour

but how happy they were to have the last one be here ;__; 'we genuinely really love your country'

Awww Russell ;_;

I left the show so much better off than when I came in, by which I just mean there's something about seeing a band that means so much to you, where it just turns up the metaphorical dial on the enrichment of your life. Thank you Sparks and thank you other Sparks enjoyers!

Well, that was my rambling show report complete with absolutely none of the information anyone usually wants to hear about a gig.

I'd like to thank @adreamofroses for finding me and saying hi, and I'm sorry we didn't get to talk much!

I'll leave you all with a photo of the official merch I got, including some by the art team Tectecs whose adorable art was irresistible. They've got a gallery show going on with all their Sparks work at the moment, too.

and one last photo because I saw my bag looking like this when I stopped to do something, and laughed:

[mermaidsirennikita]

i'm rewatching the crown s5 and god the charles propaganda is working over time. i didn't even realize how heavy handed it was at the time because i was too much in shock over how bad the season was but they really're pushing how modern and progressive he is! look at all the good work he has done! poor charles diana and the press are so mean to him :( the tampon gate episode literally ends with him breakdancing with some kids (???) with text saying how many people he has helped with his charity work. pray tell what brand of crack cocaine was peter morgan smoking?

I honestly have no idea, dude. Because if you were to ask me beforehand, I would've said:

Season 1--Great TV, if a little more conventional than other seasons; dominated by EXTREMELY good and character-setting performances across the board (I feel like Peter Townsend was the only semi-major player who didn't stand out, but in s2 it became very clear that Townsend being boring was The Point). Jared Harris wasn't even a true lead and he made me cry multiple times. Claire and Matt (and I say this as someone who generally doesn't care for Matt Smith) are superb. Lithgow? Knocked it out with a VERY well-known personality who's been played by other major actors. Vanessa Kirby? A definitive Margaret. Elizabeth gives Philip the ol' kneel and deliver. Amazing.

Season 2--Probably the best season of the show (even if the Kennedy episode was.... bad.... I feel like every one of the first four seasons has an episode that isn't great and is kind of totally out of step with the rest, and now I realize it was a harbinger of doom). Makes you root for a pair of objectively horrible people in an objectively miserable (if oddly loving...?) marriage. Matthew Goode shows up and does 60s excellence with Vanessa Kirby. No major standout PM performances on a Lithgow, but still, really good ones. (And I've come to realize ever since s5 and s6 dropped the ball--getting really good actors to play the PMs and seeing random glimpses of their lives was such a mainstay of the first four seasons, omg. HOW IS TONY BLAIR SO BORING???? WE KNOW THIS JACKASS.) Philip almost does a murder suicide with tiny Charles in that plane. It's GREAT.

Season 3--I wasn't as big a fan at first, but it's aged into a really solid season of TV. I think it took Olivia, who I think is one of the greatest actresses working right now so this isn't shade, a while to feel comfortable in the role. Tobias Menzies was immediately fab casting, though; I don't think I've ever seen a less than good performance from him, tbh. Helena Bonham-Carter isn't as good as Vanessa, but still entertaining and fun; and while Tony is not nearly as good in this season, he's barely there. BUT even if it's not the strongest season, you get Josh O'Connor and he is SO. AMAZINGLY. GOOD. He turns an awkward community theater performance by Charles into this intense monologue (was Charles that good an actor? No but who cares). He talks wistfully about how he'll only get a life after his mom like, dies in a helicopter crash or something. "mUMMY I HAVE A VOICE"/"NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT" hands down best Olivia line reading of the season if not her entire tenure on the show.

Season 4--Fabulous TV, dials up the soap opera drama, Emma Corrin is a perfect young Diana and Josh gets into his full bag as Charles. Olivia sets this tone between total unfeeling frost and a weird goofy humor that leads to the frankly hysterical "DO I have a favorite kid???" episode, where we don't know that it's Andrew but we kNOW. It's Andrew. The sense of doom builds up. Gillian Anderson devours as Margaret Thatcher. The ending with the cameras going off as we pull in on Emma Corrin's teary reflective eyes after Diana is lowkey??? Threatened???? By Philip???? Much more affecting than Diana's literal death in s6.

Yeah, man. I don't know. Peter has always very clearly been a royalist to me, but he seemed for a long time like a royalist more focused on Elizabeth and his fascination with and vast empathy for her. Charles... always got a sympathetic enough edit, sure, but in the sense that you got WHY he's such an emotionally deficient doorknob. Season 4 portrays him as outright emotionally abusive and? Tbh? Surprisingly predatory. That's something I think gets glossed over a lot. But Peter doesn't make Charles devoid of physical attraction to Diana, which I think a lot of takes on this story do. And he wasn't devoid of attraction to her. There were brief bright spots in their early marriage where Diana as much as said she couldn't keep him off her (and this was Charles so that was probs like thrice a week I dunno). There's been a lot of speculation that he and Diana DID sleep together before their wedding day; it wasn't this sterile thing it's often depicted as, at least not always.

And I think that the perceived sterility of the relationship has led some to overlook the fact that Diana got engaged to him before she was 20. She met him when she was underage and he was dating her sister. The Crown SHOWED that. Josh O'Connor PLAYED IT like Charles was checking out a 16 year old girl while he was all of 28 and about to go out with her sister within minutes. It's so deliberate? I don't know why anyone would ever be able to... not get it. So we go from that to "well yeah he had this awkward moment with his mistress, but everyone actually saw it as two people being in love" which just isn't historically accurate lmao. Charles and Camilla still get dogged out by that to this day. And look, I'm not judging what people are into--I more so judge the nature of the relationship in terms of how it pertained to, I don't know, his wife and kids, and this idea that people were NOT weirded out by it at the time lmao. Even people who aren't actively against Charles... the vast majority don't see him as this GREAT CHARISMATIC CHANGEMAKER lmao. Unless you're writing a biography of him in which he's feeding you sources.

I mean, I'll give credit where credit is due--he does seem genuinely into environmentalism, even if that's subsequently contradicted by his actions (though perhaps not as badly as is the case with Wills). He apparently dislikes Trump. Cool! But lol, this idea that Charles was really changing the world by like... doing charity work... that all royals do...................... Topped off by breakdancing......

It's SO cringe. I don't know if Peter got threats lmao. I don't know if he saw how much he made the audience hate the royals in s4 and went "oh no, that wasn't my intent" (and I will say--I do think that actors can affect things here; I don't get the sense from Josh's interviews that he is, ah, into Charles as a person, and maybe he went harder because of that) and tried to course correct...?

But he clearly made a huge change and it's such a bummer because the 90s are arguably some of the most interesting years for the Windsors and he just kind of flushed them down the drain. And he also got a perfect older Diana casting and wasted her.

[happyzyx]

zhang yixing for basic stardom magazine, 21st issue 2023 – interview transcription

THE DREAMER FROM CHANGSHA: An Interview with Chinese Rapper and Performer Lay Zhang

Tagged the “King of China” by his fans in Asia, the highly-praised musician, dancer, actor, and author, Lay Zhang, is rising to glory as he continues to hone his craft and inspire the world with infinite ambition. Headlining MetaMoon last year, the inaugural New York-based music festival, as part of his first-ever solo global tour “Grand Line 2: Infinite Lands” and releasing into 2023 with a remarkable agenda.

While getting his start from the well known K-Pop boy group EXO, Zhang furthered his growth as an individual artist, accumulating over 70 million followers across all social media platforms and magnifying his career through evocative performances and stellar roles in both television and film. His captivating journey has not only forged him into an international superstar, but has also led him to become the highest-ranked Mando-pop star on the Billboard 200 chart in 2018, and the first Chinese artist to enter the iTunes Top 60 in the U.S. with his third solo album Namanana.

Q. You dove headfirst into the music industry after enrolling in the Star Academy talent show in 2005, where you unexpectedly became a finalist in the series. While you never thought you’d ever become an artist, what changed for you during this time in your life?

ZYX. While Star Academy, I was critiqued a few times on stage for not being professional enough. Hearing that gave me the motivation to prove them wrong and become better in all aspects. I like proving people wrong. It’s a good challenge. At the time, I wanted to prove to the judges and fans that I could be better. Becoming the artist I am today wasn’t what I originally had in mind. Looking back, I think I became an artist as I started to improve on my weaknesses. It was not a conscious choice, but rather the desire to prove that I could be better and show everyone that I could be professional.

Q. In 2008, you trained as a performer in South Korea, eventually debuting as a part of the K-pop group EXO. Talk to us about your journey and how you ended up here and now.

ZYX. Going to Korea and leaving both my hometown Changsha and my mother was scary. There were hours and hours of training in a completely foreign environment. Sometimes, after training, I would go downstairs to the practice room and learn how to produce music. It was unusual for a trainee to be that interested in producing music and I was not very good at it. Becoming a dancer for SHINee was a huge milestone for me. It showed me that I was on the right path. Then, when I made it into EXO, I was overjoyed. In the early days, we traveled a lot between China, Japan, and South Korea. There were a lot of happy memories going into the studio and practicing new songs with my members, but nothing could compare to performing with them live. I felt, and still feel, so proud to be an EXO member and to see everything that we accomplished together. When I started doing more solo activities, I found it challenging. All of a sudden I had to do things alone and without my members by my side. It was hard, but it made me grow and helped me to become the person I am today. Now, my schedule is always filled with commercial shoots, television shows, variety shows, recording music, and trying to be an entrepreneur.

Q. After 10 years with EXO, you finally decided to focus on your solo career. How did your experiences with EXO and in South Korea influence the artist, dancer, and businessman you are today?

ZYX. My brothers in EXO gave me so much strength and motivation to become the best artist and person I could be. I did a lot of training in Korea. While it was tough, it gave me the skills I needed to become an artist and dancer that I am today. I reflect on those days often when I help train my trainees. I want to make sure I give them everything I had and more. I met a lot of talented people who took the time to explain things and trained me. I have deep gratitude for that time in my life.

Q. How did you discover your individual sound and personal brand since venturing out on your own? Who and/or what have been some of your most prominent influences?

ZYX. I’m not sure that I have found my sound yet. I like making music and performing. I would love to spend all of my time on stage and in the studio, but I think it’s the same with my brand, where I’m still experimenting and in the process of discovering it. Now that I’m over 30, I have to figure out who I want to be in the next decade. In the past, I’ve taken inspiration from people who have been able to dance, sing, and perform. I also appreciate people who are kind and hardworking.

Q. Sharing your culture with the world is incredibly important to you. Talk to us about the process of merging languages, as well as Eastern and Western influences into your music.

ZYX. I am blessed to have many talented musician friends around the world. Normally, I’ll work with a producer and songwriter in Los Angeles. I’ll have about a week of song camp sessions where we are locked in the studio from noon to midnight. We’ll spend time making music, vibing and dancing nonstop. I also learn a lot of English and we eat a lot of cookies during these sessions. Once we’re done, I’ll take the recording back to China and talk to my team and other creative friends about how we can incorporate Chinese instruments and stories into the music.

Q. How does it feel to be named the “King of China” by your fans and community?

ZYX. I don’t know if I’m the “King of China”. That’s a strong statement. I am just Lay Zhang from Changsha, China. I am a man who loves the people of his country and making music. For me, music is my arena where I get to challenge myself and others. I want to experiment and make better music. Sometimes, I’m down to “battle” people when it comes to music, but it’s always in good spirits and fun.

Q. You are in the process of making new music to be released this year. Talk to us about your creative process. Is there something you do to get into a creative state of mind?

ZYX. Music gets me excited and making music gets me even more excited. I’m always looking for a reason to get into the studio. I don’t really need to put myself in a creative state of mind. I wait all day, sometimes weeks, to get into the studio and explore my ideas. and if I can’t wait any longer, I’ll just pull out my laptop and start making beats whenever I am. I always enjoy testing out my ideas and making music feels like the most natural medium for me to express them right now.

Q. How do you think your music is being experienced by others?

ZYX. I hope people are happy when they listen to my music. When they play songs like “Veil”, I hope they are dancing in a room with their friends and having a good time. I live seeing people so covers and reacting to my music in different ways.

Q. What kind of impact do you hope to achieve through your artistry and career as a whole?

ZYX. I hope that I can inspire to not only go after their dreams, but to also give it their all as they pursue them. Dreams are precious and beautiful. I want people to treat their dreams with the most respect. Respecting your own dreams will make them come true.

Q. In what ways do you ensure you are continuously evolving, both as an artist and the person you are away from the public eye?

ZYX. I have many teachers, mentors, and staff who give me a lot of advice. They’ll tell me the ways in which they think I should work on my vocals or how to handle certain meetings. I always want the people around me to be honest—all facts, no cap. If I’m not good, let me know so that I can get better.

Q. What message would you like to send to the world about who you are and what you stand for?

ZYX. Hi, it’s Lay. I’m a dreamer who hopes that everyone can achieve their dreams in this lifetime.

Q. Can you tell us about a project or piece of work that you’re particularly proud of?

ZYX. I live all my projects like they are my children. No child is better than the other and they all came at important stages of my life. My most recent project was West, and this was fun to release because “Veil”, the title song of the EP, was made almost five years ago, back in 2018. I normally make my records at least a year in advance, so it was great to hear “Veil” again. When I discussed it with my team, we all knew it needed to finally come out. With West, I even made “3 Wishes” on Zoom. We were in little boxes waving to each other and just hoping the internet was good enough so that we could hear all the sounds being made. Then, we’d go offline, do our own parts, and send them. There were times when someone would get knocked offline and then we’d have to wait even longer. The making of West was very fun and different project.

Q. How do you handle creative blocks or moments of self-doubt?

ZYX. To be honest, I don’t have many creative blocks, but that is probably because I’m constantly learning and doing something different. Self-doubt is tough, but I’m always reminded of all the people I have around me who depend on me. I also think about my fans who have supported me this entire time. It gives me the power to know I can’t let them down.

Q&A

Q. Who is your favorite designer?

ZYX. Pier Paolo Piccioli. He has been just a dear friend to me.

Q. What are the last three songs you played?

ZYX. “3 Wishes” by LAY, an unreleased demo I’ve been working on, and “God’s Plan” by Drake.

Q. How would you describe yourself in five words or less?

ZYX. Artistic, determined, passionate, a dreamer, and serious.

Q. What is the most challenging aspects of being and artist of your stature?

ZYX. There is a lot to do. My schedule has always been packed and full of activities. It’s a good thing because it means people still like me and want to see me. As I get older, I know I’ll get less popular, and fewer people will care about my music and career. It’s a big scary to be totally honest. It’s something that I will have to learn to deal with.

Q. What would be doing right now, if it wasn’t for your music career?

ZYX. If I wasn’t an artist today, I would probably be a music teacher. I would definitely still be doing something related to music.

Q. Who would you most like to collaborate with?

ZYX. I want to work with people who are innovating and pushing themselves creatively. I feel so inspired by people who are able to produce, write and sing. I really aspire to work with open-minded people.

Words by KIMBERLY HADDAD

©小羊扛起霸王龙就跑

[rabbitechoes]

there was no shortage of excellent records this month. a couple that i'm sure will end up on my year-end list for sure. there were also a couple of real stinkers ... but the less said about those the better! but uhhhh still read my thoughts on them!! to check out my thoughts on some of the songs that dropped this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

Bright Future - Adrianne Lenker

🥇 BEST ALBUM OF THE MONTH

◇ genres: contemporary folk, singer-songwriter

Adrianne Lenker has been one of the most prolific singer-songwriters for the better half of the last decade or so, but over the last 4 years especially it feels like she’s reached another level. Her 2020 solo record songs and the following Big Thief record Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You are two of the finest folk releases in recent memory. The latter being a big, double album made me a bit worried at first for whatever Lenker would do next, but after hearing the singles leading up to this album those worries went away. This quickly became one of my most anticipated albums of the year and I think that anticipation paid off wholeheartedly. Bright Future is such a brilliant album.

The opener, “Real House,” is an amazing and sparse piano-driven cut. The subtle arrangement puts the main focus on Lenker’s lyricism and it ranks up there as one of her most poignant pieces to date. The track is addressed to her mother and it has her recounting old childhood memories in a really beautiful way. “Sadness As a Gift” follows that and it picks things up musically. More layered instrumentation with Lenker’s 12-string guitar, a piano, and a violin, it all sounds so rich. I’ve absolutely adored this track ever since it dropped. Here she meditates on the end of a relationship with so much subtle complexity. I guess it’s a breakup song, but it feels above that. There’s no anger or vitriol, just that lingering bittersweet feeling. “Fool” is another change of pace as it’s a bit more jaunty. I enjoyed this song when I first heard it, but my love for it grew when I heard it on the record. It conjures up so many warm feelings musically, even though the lyrics tell a story of conflicted feelings. “No Machine” slows things down again and it’s another one of Lenker’s best. I’ve talked about the arrangements on the album a few times already, but I can’t stress enough how amazing these songs sound. Beyond the great lyricism, every song feels so warm, intimate, and spontaneous. Like they caught lightning in a bottle in the studio.

“Free Treasure” was the most recent single leading up to the album’s release and it’s great. It’s one of those songs that makes you want to go outside and appreciate the beauty of what’s around you. Perfect Spring song. “Vampire Empire” has become an infamous track in the Lenker/Big Thief canon. Big Thief released the studio version of the song a few months ago and fans were outraged as it differed from the early live version that became a fan favorite. Little did they know that the best version of the song was still to come. The version here accentuates how remarkable the song is. There’s a shakiness to Lenker’s vocals, but there’s also so much fire and conviction to it. The instrumentation matches that perfectly. “Evol” has some sort of clunky moments to it and the “words spelled backward” thing is a little corny, but the sentiment and the performances on the song make it more enjoyable. The ending chorus of the song gives me chills, I love how the violin and the piano fade out alongside Lenker’s final lines. “Already Lost” has that campfire feel that’s present throughout a lot of her work. There’s this air of sophistication to it, but also this “hey, come join us, you can shake the tambourine or something” kind of vibe to it. Many of the songs here feel so inviting, while also feeling so personal to Lenker. It strikes an interesting balance. “Donut Seam” features prominent guest vocals and it captures the feeling of knowing a relationship is almost over beautifully. The lyric “Don’t it seem like a good time for swimming, before all the water disappears?” has been stuck in my mind ever since the album’s release. The record ends with the first single, “Ruined,” which has Lenker leaning into an ambient direction and it’s so heart-wrenching but also gorgeous.   Bright Future feels like a victory lap in a lot of ways. Not exactly musically or lyrically, the album is quite mellow a lot of the time, but just with how fantastic this album is. Lenker isn’t slowing down or “falling off” anytime soon. The lyricism here is so layered, but also inviting. You can enjoy these songs on a less-focused listen, but these songs reward you for paying attention. They’re so fruitful. This album has firmly solidified Adrianne Lenker as one of the greatest songwriters of our generation.

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i won't let go of your hand - Adrianne Lenker

◇ genres: contemporary folk, singer-songwriter

A few weeks prior to Bright Future, Adrianne Lenker released this EP in order to raise funds for the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund. The songs here are very spontaneous, but filled with so much beauty. The instrumentation is a lot less fleshed out as on Bright Future, but it offers a more lo-fi experience. Her writing shines regardless. It's definitely worth a listen both for the quality of the music as well as for the cause. You can buy the EP here on Adrianne Lenker's Bandcamp! 100% of the proceeds to go the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund! Free Palestine 🇵🇸 !!!!!

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The Collective - Kim Gordon

◇ genres: industrial hip hop, noise rock, experimental rock

Oh man, I was so excited for this record, and my excitement paid off big time. Noise rock pioneer and alternative rock icon Kim Gordon has been dropping some insane singles over the last few months. These singles have seen Gordon explore sounds like experimental hip hop, rage, trap, and witch house among others. I’m not super familiar with witch house, but I need to be after this record. Anyway, the shocking part is that Gordon is genuinely doing cool things with these sounds. Blending in her signature, nonchalant vocals while also adding in the noise rock and even the occasional no-wave touch. It’s crazy how well it works. I wrote about the first two singles, “BYE BYE” and “I’m a Man,” in my previous Month in Review posts, but they still blow me away even after multiple listens. The former has one of the craziest beats I’ve heard in the genre in a while and the latter reaffirms Kim Gordon’s cool factor all these years later. The lyrical content of these songs felt like a cathartic stream of consciousness, but Gordon’s vocals never oversell them. I was a little worried that the rest of The Collective wouldn’t be as good as those two singles, but those worries quickly went away when I heard the rest of the album

“BYE BYE” is the opener and it sets up the album so well, but my attention was quickly drawn to the track following it, “The Candy House.” The beat is reminiscent of a Memphis rap track and Gordon’s vocals sound like they’re inviting you somewhere sinister. “I Don’t Miss My Mind” has this almost overwhelming bass to it that is so off-putting. It’s like evil club music. “Trophies” has some of my favorite guitar parts from Gordon on the record. It sounds so washed-out and electric in the coolest way possible. The third single released for the album, “Psychedelic Orgasm,” is a song only Gordon could pull off. No one but her could sing the lyrics “passing all the kids, Tik Toking around” and make it work. The most abrasive track here is “The Believers” as it veers pretty heavily into industrial rock, while also including some elements of alternative club that you might’ve heard on a SOPHIE project. This album is a lot to take in, but multiple listens have made me fall in love with it further and further.

It’s refreshing to hear an icon in experimental music continue to push boundaries this deep into her career. Doubly so given how a lot of their contemporaries and/or the bands Gordon and Sonic Youth helped inspire sound like they are forever stuck in purgatory on their new releases. Needless to say, I’m loving this new record a lot.

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A Lonely Sinner - samlrc

◇ genres: post-rock, shoegaze, ambient

I wasn’t aware of samlrc until a few weeks ago when I saw this album getting hyped up on Twitter. Unfortunately, I didn’t pay much mind to it and sort of forgot about it. However, in true annoying online music guy fashion, A Lonely Sinner really grabbed my attention when it reached number one on the RYM Top Albums of 2024 chart. I listened to it soon after and I’m so glad I did. A Lonely Sinner is a great record with an interesting and moving concept. She describes the record on her Bandcamp as “an album about a sheep experiencing love in its nature.” The album follows those themes both lyrically and sonically. It sounds carefully pieced together, using anything and everything to make something emotionally resonant. She corroborates this much also on her Bandcamp by listing some of the unorthodox items used to craft this album’s sound including “boxes, soda cans, [and] a violin bow.” I love lo-fi albums like this with big ideas that are fully realized in creative ways. If there was a bigger budget, sure things might sound sleeker and more polished, but the charm an album can gain through that lower fidelity outweighs that by a lot.

The album’s sound is predominantly post-rock with little detours into shoegaze, ambient, and even some metal. It’s a very slow-burning album, but it’s post-rock, you better get ready for some atmosphere, buddy! The album opens with one of its more atmospheric moments, almost bordering on drone, with “Lamb Theme.” This is a great setup for the 12-minute “Philautia” which blew me away on my first listen. The shaky guitar strums eventually coincide with the pointed string samples before giving way to the first verses on the record. The writing across the record is relatively simple but very effective. There are no sprawling verses, usually just a few lines that cut deeply before returning the spotlight to the instrumentation. The third track, “Sinner,” leans heavily in the post-metal direction and it works perfectly, greatly accentuating the lyrical themes of the track. These themes of struggling with the labels and expectations put on you by ones other than yourself are handled in such an interesting way here. Using the metaphor of sheep and wolves. “Storge” features a sample from the English dub of the Japanese animated film Chirin no Suzu, which has the sheep saying that they want to be strong and become one of the wolves. That struggle with rejecting who you are in order to either fight back and/or assimilate against the ones who hurt you is a constant struggle for many queer people, myself included. I would imagine it resonates even more so with trans people in particular.

The album closes with “The Beauty of the Present Moment” which is a gorgeous, string-laden cut and an uplifting way to close the album. A Lonely Sinner resonates with me more and more each time I revisit it. There are so many details I failed to mention in this write-up like the Sufjan-esque “ooo’s” towards the middle of “Flowerfields” and the string quartet cover of Björk’s “Hyper-Ballad” on “For M.” This album really took me by surprise, go out of your way to check this one out.

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Y'Y - Amaro Freitas

◇ genres: post-minimalism, third stream

I’m always on the lookout for newer jazz because most of my jazz experience is from the pre-2000s, so when I saw this album getting a lot of positive buzz I decided to check it out. Brazilian jazz artist Amaro Freitas has crafted an amazing, fluid record filled with really interesting ideas that are incredibly realized. This album can sound haunting, beautiful, and even a bit anxious at times, but Freitas balances it all very well. His piano playing is so dynamic and matches each shift in sound almost perfectly. From the steady and sharp playing on “Gloriosa” to the ascending keys on the Steve Reich-esque “Sonho Ancestral,” Freitas can do it all.

The second track “Uiara (Encantada da água) - Vida e cura” is a gorgeous minimalist piece that features some pretty multi-layered piano parts. That minimalist sound is present throughout the first half of the record. Each song flows seamlessly into the next and it makes for a fun listening experience. It all feels like one connected piece with a fair bit of surprises throughout. One of these being the super harsh sound towards the later half of “Dança dos martelos” which was very unsuspected, but I love it. The second half is a bit “jazzier” and each piece stands on its own. The title track brings in some flute to accompany his piano and it’s a great touch. I also adored Jeff Parker’s subtle guitar parts throughout “Mar de Cirandeiras,” this is probably the track I’ve returned to the most. The nearly 10-minute closer, “Encantados,” is probably the most reminiscent of classic jazz, but Freitas still puts his own spin on it with his keys. There are also a lot more jazz instruments factored in and it just shows how no matter what Fretias’s keys will stand out. Y’Y is an amazing record and one I keep coming back to. This is one of the most exciting jazz/minimalist releases in recent memory. Even if you’re not a big fan of those genres, I would still encourage you to give this album a shot.

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Catching Chickens - Nourished by Time

◇ genres: bedroom pop, alternative r&b

I heard Nourished by Time’s debut studio album, Erotic Probiotic 2, late last year but I fell in love with it almost immediately. So much so that it reached number 13 on my Top Albums of 2023 list. In the last couple of months Marcus Brown, the man behind Nourished by Time, signed with the XL label and announced this new EP, Catching Chickens. The lead single “Hand On Me” has been in constant rotation for me. It leans more into the pop side of his sound but in the best ways possible. He’s so good at making infectious bangers. All of the songs here have this sort of dream-like haze over them which makes this album really immersive. The best example of this is probably the track “Poison-Soaked,” which mixes some post-punk flavor into his sound in such a cool way. It has one of the most memorable melodies I’ve heard all year, I’ve been humming it all around the house. The closer, “Romance In Me,” sounds like a more intimate and modern take on a big R&B hit from the late 70s, I love it so much. Brown’s vocals here strike that balance between subtle and grand that I raved about so much from his last project. Catching Chickens is such a well-crafted EP and a great label debut for one of the most promising artists in recent memory. I can’t wait for whatever he drops next, but this will be in my rotation for a while.

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The Great Bailout - Moor Mother

◇ genres: poetry, electroacoustic

My first introduction to musician and poet Camae Ayewa, better known by her stage name Moor Mother, was through her 2020 collab album with billy woods Brass. From there, I listened to 2022’s Jazz Codes. Both of those records were very good, but I was instantly drawn to Ayewa’s writing more than anything else. Her words are damning and they’re often delivered with this haunting tone that forces you to pay attention to them. No longer can you turn away from the atrocities of the past, when Ayewa is speaking, you listen. On no album of hers is that more apparent than The Great Bailout. Here she ditches hip hop in favor of more ambient and atmospheric production which makes this perhaps the most chilling record in her catalog. 

Ayewa’s focus on this record seems to be Britain’s apartheid rule over South Africa and how they exploited the people and resources there for their own gain. She also tackles how these events have manifested into generational trauma to this day. The opener “GUILTY” features weathered vocals from Lonnie Holley and ethereal vocals from Raia Was. The former had an incredible album last year which shook me to my core, Oh Me Oh My. Moor Mother also featured on that record so it’s nice to see them working together again. Ayewa’s poetry takes center stage throughout most of the song as she asks the chilling question “did you pay off the trauma?” These whispered, eerie backing vocals come in throughout the whole record which makes a lot of these songs feel absolutely arresting. Particularly on “ALL THE MONEY” which has Ayewa dressing down the “thieves disguised as explorers.” Pointing out the Crown Jewels and the items in the British Museum as some of the examples. It’s truly chilling stuff and shows how effective Ayewa can be as a writer. “COMPENSATED EMANCIPATION” switches things up a bit and hits you with an intense and disorienting wave of metallic synths which add even more weight to the words. Towards the later half of the album, I found myself still ensnared by Ayewa’s writing, but the arrangements started to make the album drag just a bit. The big exception being “LIVERPOOL WINS.”

The predominantly ambient style works on most of these songs, but it can also be a little tiring after a certain point and I found myself enjoying the more abrasive moments. Ayewa’s poetry is the main focus album though and on that front, she does an amazing job. I can’t say I’ll revisit this album often, but this is a very captivating project.

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I Got Heaven - Mannequin Pussy

◇ genres: indie rock, power pop, hardcore punk

Mannequin Pussy’s fourth studio album strikes a decent balance between razor-sharp indie rock and dreamy indie pop with occasional detours into hardcore punk. The album barrels past you pretty fast, for better and for worse. The title track kicks off the album with a bang. It features a blazing performance from vocalist and guitarist Marisa Dabice, as well as some provocative lyrics setting the scene for the album in a nice way. “Loud Bark” softens the sound just a bit, but it still has a considerable amount of edge to it. The chorus is so simple, but the way the band rises with it is really satisfying. The next few tracks are pretty standard indie rock, but they’re pretty good. Especially “Sometimes” which is just begging to be played on repeat on your local alternative station. I love how during the chorus the guitars get heavier and are joined by those hazy backing vocals. It creates such a cool dynamic.   The first half of the record is pretty great, but the second half has a handful of weaker moments that make the album feel a bit disjointed. Namely those detours into hardcore punk. “Ok? Ok! Ok? Ok!,” “Of Her,” and “Aching” aren’t bad, but a lot of them leave me feeling pretty neutral. Ironically, the songs with the less harsh sound have more bite to them. This is my first Mannequin Pussy album so maybe these tracks are some kind of callback to their earlier albums that I’m just not privy to. The second half does feature both “Softly” and the closer “Split Me Open” which are two of my favorites on the record, so it’s not like it’s a complete drop-off in quality, it’s just a bit disjointed. The sub-30-minute length adds to that disjointed feeling. Despite this, I Got Heaven is very much worth a listen. There’s a lot of great stuff here and I might dive into the band’s back catalog soon.

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Pinball - MIKE & Tony Seltzer

◇ genres: trap, east coast hip hop

Just a few months removed from the amazing Burning Desire, MIKE has teamed up with Tony Seltzer for a short, but fruitful album. Seltzer adds new dimensions to MIKE’s sound here. Taking a step away from the abstract to more trap and cloud rap production. He fits this sound very well. I love the subtle glitchiness of the opener “Two Door” and the jaunty beat of “Lethal Weapon.” The beats all over the album are amazing. They might shine more than MIKE, but it doesn’t really feel like MIKE is attempting to demand your attention here. This just felt like a project thrown together for fun, a bit of a breath of fresh air after the sprawling concept album that was his previous record. Some other highlights are “On God” (which features a guest verse from Earl Sweatshirt), “Underground Kingz,” and “R&B.” This obviously isn’t MIKE’s most grand and impressive album, but it is definitely a fun listen.

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COWBOY CARTER - Beyoncé

◇ genres: country pop, contemporary country

Beyoncé’s last record, RENAISSANCE, was not only one of my favorite albums of that year, but it’s easily one of her best. An incredible celebration and reclamation of dance music that had the kind of superstar quality very few can deliver quite like her. That record is the first part in a trilogy, COWBOY CARTER is the second. Beyoncé shocked audiences during the Super Bowl when she surprise dropped two singles that showed her diving into country music. “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” and “16 CARRIAGES” were decent, but they sort of gave me shaky expectations for the album on the whole. It was bold of her to shift her sound like this, but I was afraid it would end up being a step down from the previous. Well, it is. COWBOY CARTER is a bit too dense for its own good and not every track here is a home run, but it’s still a pretty good record on the whole.

The album opens with the bold country soul cut “AMERIICAN REQUIEM.” It features one of my favorite vocal performances of hers, but the arrangement and production leave a little bit to be desired. That’s a frequent issue across the record, but it’s usually not overwhelmingly detrimental. Regardless, this is a very strong opener. Then she does a cover of the classic Beatles track, “Blackbird,” which is just a bit unnecessary. The vocal arrangements are nice, but I feel like it’s a bit too grand for a song of its kind. She does another cover later on in the record of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” which sees Beyoncé rewrite the song in a more adversarial way. Again, a bit of a mixed result. The rewrites feel a bit too tryhard for my taste, but it still sticks out more than the “Blackbird” cover. I do enjoy the snippet of her cover of “I Fall to Pieces” on the track “SWEET ★ HONEY ★ BUCKIIN’,” I wouldn’t have minded a full cover of that on the record. Anyways, the covers don’t add much to the record, but the majority of this album is her original material. Most of it is quite good!

“PROTECTOR” is one of my favorites and it really shows how well she fares in that more intimate country sound. I often found myself zoning out during the more arena-ready tracks here, the real shining moments come from the more toned-down moments. I also loved the almost chamber-folk sound of “DAUGHTER.” It’s nice to hear her in this new, more intimate light. A massive exception to this is “BODYGUARD” which pumps up the energy to just the right level and blends the country and the disco sounds in such a cool way. One of my favorite tracks of the year for sure. The album shifts into a more hip hop/club direction on “SPAGHETII” and the aforementioned “SWEET ★ HONEY ★ BUCKIIN’” to unfortunately mixed results. Unsung country legend Linda Martell introduces the former by talking about how restricting genre labels can be, so I understand what the album is going for, but these are definitely two of the weaker tracks here. There’s a stretch towards the middle part of the album where she duets for a bit. The duets with Willie Jones and Miley Cyrus are highlights, but that Post Malone one does not belong here unfortunately. The later half of the record is a bit of a mixed bag as well, but “RIIVERDANCE” is amazing and honestly should’ve been one of the lead singles. Again, like “BODYGUARD,” it has the perfect energy level.   COWBOY CARTER is a bit of a difficult record. It has very lofty goals and it frequently achieves them, but not as much as I expected. It feels very start and stop for me. I’ll love one song and then be underwhelmed by the next, that cycle continues throughout the record. The little radio station interludes and the guest appearances from country legends like Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton are nice, but on an album that’s already stretching the runtime, they can be a bit of a pace-killer. Overall, this is a weaker record than RENAISSANCE, but it's a project I definitely respect a lot despite that.

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BLUE LIPS - ScHoolboy Q

◇ genres: west coast hip hop, hardcore hip hop

ScHoolboy Q has been on my radar for years now, mainly through his work on other albums I love. For whatever reason, I’ve never listened to a full-length project of his until BLUE LIPS. Because of that, I didn’t know what to expect. Luckily, this album is a solid collection of hard-hitting hip hop tracks with beats that can be both grimy and jazzy. ScHoolboy Q matches both of those sounds with his delivery very well. A great example of this is on the heavy second track, “Pop” with Rico Nasty. His delivery has an edge to it that matches the beat very well. The track after that, “THank god 4 me,” has some more melodic moments in between the bombastic beat switch in the middle, and again, he matches his delivery to fit the track.   The lead single “Blueslides” is an example of his forays into jazz rap on the album and it’s one of the best tracks here. It’s a really poignant track lyrically as he reflects on things like the loss of Mac Miller, his career, and his mental health. It feels like a confessional, an “I need to get this off my chest” kind of track. “Love Birds” is another one of my favorites here as it switches between experimental hip hop and R&B in a really cool way. “Cooties” has Q commenting on fatherhood as well as a scathing couple of bars on mass shootings in America. Unfortunately, the song feels like it ends before reaching its full potential. That’s the case for quite a few songs across the second half as well. Songs like “Nunu,” “Germany ‘86,” and “Time killers” have some good ideas, but end up not adding much to the album. There are still some bright spots here and there, especially “oHio” featuring Freddie Gibbs which might be my favorite track. I love Gibbs's verses here. On the whole, BLUE LIPS is a good album that could be even better if trimmed down here and there.

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Deeper Well - Kacey Musgraves

◇ genres: folk pop, singer-songwriter

Kacey Musgraves has made a name for herself over the last few years as one of the few country artists people who don’t listen to the genre feel comfortable admitting they enjoy. Her 2018 album, Golden Hour, was one of the most critically acclaimed country albums of the decade, and rightfully so. It was a shimmering collection of country tracks, calling upon some of the good aesthetics of the genre from years passed. The follow-up, Star-Crossed, was a bit disappointing, but this new album has Musgraves correcting course a bit. 

Deeper Well is an album all about love and healing. It’s considerably more stripped-back than her previous albums and it ends up simultaneously helping and hurting a lot of these songs. The opener “Cardinal” is one of the more polished-sounding tracks here and it’s a nice way to start the album. The title track is also brilliant and it sounds like a ray of light. It’s one of my favorite songs of hers. The song following, “Too Good to be True” is another bright spot. The album loses a bit of momentum from here on out though. It feels like this shift in sound prevents these songs from entering into that second gear. Often, the album is never bad, it’s just decent. Enjoyable enough. “Sway” is excellent though and a moment where she uses this sound to the best of her abilities. The same can be said about “The Architect” which has some of the most twang on the record. The only outright awful moment on the record is “Anime Eyes,” which is an ill-advised song full of clumsy ideas. I understand the sentiment, but she does not stick the landing on this at all and it sticks out like a sore thumb. Deeper Well is a pretty decent album with a handful of tracks I will be returning to often, but it’s not her strongest group of songs on the whole.

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eternal sunshine - Ariana Grande

◇ genres: contemporary r&b, pop

My poptimist era is far behind me at this point. I feel like it was beaten out of me partly due to the past few years of things like Morgan Wallen, Jack Harlow, and that fucking Glass Animals song ruling over the Billboard charts. However before that, in 2019 or so, I was a full-blown poptimist. My pretentious inhibitions be damned, let me be a gay teenager who likes pop music. Around that time, Ariana Grande was popping off like crazy following albums like Sweetener and thank u, next. Even as the years have gone by and I’ve changed as a person, I still regard those records as some of the strongest pop albums of the decade. Because of that, I’ve always been sort of optimistic about her music in particular. I was a little disappointed by Positions in 2020, but I just kind of viewed it as a stepping stone to a bigger album later on. Unfortunately, if eternal sunshine is that “big” album, I’m kind of disappointed.

There’s nothing offensively bad about this record, I just think it’s sort of uninteresting. I was expecting the album’s sound to follow the dance-pop/house flavor of the lead single “yes, and?”, but the album falls more in line with Grande’s previous efforts albeit a lot more subtle for the most part. It isn’t a broken formula, I was just looking for something fresh. The best tracks on the album are the ones that do shake up the formula a bit. “bye” is a sleek, catchy number that grabs your attention with Grande’s triumphant vocals. I also love that understated disco guitar, wish it was higher up in the mix. “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” has Grande paired up with some electropop production which is a nice change of pace that I would love to hear her explore further. While not really a drastic shift for her, I do enjoy “the boy is mine.” The beat on that track reminds me vaguely of a late 90s hip hop/R&B hit. There’s plenty of good stuff here, but not a lot that hits that next level for me. Admittedly, I am pretty out of the loop on whatever drama and gossip is surrounding this album. Maybe those who are deeply invested are way more into it than me and that’s cool. It also feels that Grande herself is using this album as a means of getting things off her chest regarding whatever situation is going on and that’s also cool.

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Bleachers - Bleachers

◇ genres: pop rock, indie pop, alt-pop

It’s impossible to not be at least somewhat aware of Jack Antonoff these days. His production credits have far outshined his other efforts as a member of fun. and even his band Bleachers. I was aware of Bleachers back in middle school through the Foster the People similar artists radio station. I didn’t have any premium music streaming subscription at the time, but I was really into that era of early 2010s indie pop, so I would use the free iTunes radio thing as a means to listen to all of my favorite bands (mainly when YouTube wasn’t available). That radio would constantly play the Bleachers song “Rollercoaster” and I didn’t like it. Every skip was precious and I would always use one to get past it. Looking back, it’s not that bad, and while I haven’t gone back to listen to that debut album in full, I did enjoy a decent amount of the previous Bleachers album from a few years back. I also enjoy a decent amount of this new record, but for every good moment, there are a ton of borderline sleep-inducing moments.

Antonoff’s production style on the Bleachers projects has this kind of faux-classic sound. Sometimes it works really well, like the first two songs for example, “I Am Right on Time” and “Modern Girl.” The latter is practically a Bruce Springsteen tribute song and it rules. “Jesus is Dead” is also a pretty great cut here and it’s basically Antonoff’s “Losing My Edge.” He even shouts out the DFA label so everything comes full circle! After that track is the where album starts to lose me a bit. The warbly effect on his vocals wears very thin and clashes awkwardly with the instrumentation. “Tiny Moves” sounds like it’s building up to some big payoff, but it never comes. “Hey Joe” is an ill-advised change of pace into folk. “Call Me After Midnight” is actually a GOOD change of pace and pretty easily my favorite song on the second half. It features writing credits from Kevin Abstract and others from the old BROCKHAMPTON camp so maybe it just has that sound I loved so much when I was in high school. It also removes that warbly effect on his voice! Bleachers isn’t a bad record and it showcases a lot of Antonoff’s strong suits, but it’s an album best listened to in the background. Massive props to the saxophones throughout though. Whenever they would come in, I locked in big time.

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Underdressed at the Symphony - Faye Webster

◇ genres: soft rock, singer-songwriter

I was looking forward to this new Faye Webster album. I really enjoyed Atlanta Millionaires Club and I Know I’m Funny haha, as well as the first single leading up to this album “But Not Kiss.” That single became one of my favorite songs of hers. I thought the production was excellent and the sound in general was an interesting change of pace from her previous albums. The next single “Lifetime" was also pretty good, but a lot more in line with what you would expect from Webster. Still not bad! Underdressed at the Symphony wasn’t announced until months later along with the single “Lego Ring” featuring rapper-turned-psychedelic-rocker Lil Yachty. A very shaky collaboration that sounds like it was fun for Webster and Yachty, but doesn’t offer the listener much of anything. Unfortunately, the majority of the album is like that.

This is easily Webster’s weakest release from a songwriting standpoint. These songs are so barebones and not in the “just chill out to it” kinda way. That direction can be easy to forgive if the rest of the song is interesting, like the aforementioned “But Not Kiss,” but most of these songs just feel like demos. “Wanna Quit All the Time” has some nice, soft lounge guitar, but Webster’s verses end so prematurely that it feels like it just isn’t finished. The rest of the song is padded out to a 4-and-a-half-minute runtime with a lackluster instrumental. The same is done on the opener, “Thinking About You,” and while it works a bit better it still just feels unnecessary. In some places on the album, Webster decides to put a subtle electronic effect on her vocals and it doesn’t fit. It can be heard on tracks like “Feeling Good Today” and “He Loves Me Yeah!” The title track is probably the second-best song here because it actually has memorable qualities. This is a pretty disappointing album, it’s not rotten bad, but it definitely could’ve used way more time in the oven.  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Psykos - Yung Lean & Bladee

◇ genres: alternative rock, post-punk

So, I’m not super tapped into the drain gang stuff. I do enjoy a good bit of the Ecco2k stuff I’ve heard, but everything else I’ve checked out just hasn’t clicked with me. As for Yung Lean, I’m in a similar boat. This short collab album between Yung Lean and Bladee wasn’t a huge priority for me, but I saw buzz around it so I thought I would give it a go. Psykos has them moving away from their cloud rap sound into a more post-punk sound and it just doesn’t work very well. The majority of the songs here sound either too rigid or way too loose and sometimes that can be a little charming, but most of the time it makes it a tough listen for me. There are a handful of good songs here though. “Ghosts” and “Golden God” are standouts and feature good performances from the two. The beats on both of the songs aren’t remarkable or anything and the post-punk sound feels kind of like a pastiche more than anything, but I digress. “Hanging From The Bridge” is also good and I think it has the strongest writing across the whole project.

On one hand, Psykos is way too short and a bit clumsy to make a satisfying statement by the end, but on the other, if it was any longer I would probably like it even less. I plan on further familiarizing myself with both of their back catalogs in the future, even if I’m not super crazy about the stuff I’ve heard up to this point. Maybe when I revisit Psykos after that, I’ll understand what some of the hype is about.

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WORLD WIDE WHACK - Tierra Whack

◇ genres: pop rap, contemporary r&b, alt-pop

6 years after her quirky debut mixtape Whack World, Tierra Whack has finally released her debut album. Whack World was an interesting project made up of 1-minute songs filled to the brim with personality. The nature of how short the project was hampered some of the ideas, but the mixtape still showcased Whack’s abilities very well and made me excited about what she would do next. WORLD WIDE WHACK is definitely longer and more fleshed out, but maybe for the worse. Her writing still has that quirkiness to it with little bits of earnestness sprinkled in, but on the whole, it’s just so much weaker than I was expecting. The closest thing I can think to compare it to is that Cheekface album from a few months ago where everything was a joke, but the jokes just weren’t that funny. At least to me. 

Given how much longer this project is than the others that came before, we do get to see some new sides to Whack. She ventures away from hip hop and R&B occasionally to move in a more alt-pop direction, which I think she fits nicely in. She works well with all of these different sounds, but the writing is the weakest link here. The one-liners are just lazy, like in the opener “MOOD SWINGS” where Whack sings “I stand tall, Shaquille.” Like I understand the joke, but it just feels lazy. “CHANEL PIT” is a really fun cut, but even it isn’t free of weak writing. Whack will sometimes step away from the silliness to be a bit more serious like on tracks like “IMAGINARY FRIENDS” and  “DIFFICULT,” the former being my favorite track on the album as I believe it has her best writing across the whole project. These detours do give the album some more depth, but they can also make it feel a bit disjointed. Right after the latter, we get the irritating “SHOWER SONG” which is just about … singing in the shower. WORLD WIDE WHACK is an unfortunately disappointing debut album.

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Everything I Thought It Was - Justin Timberlake

◇ genres: contemporary r&b, pop

When the lead single for Everything I Thought It Was, “Selfish,” dropped back in January I knew this album would be something special. Not special in a good way, but special in the “oh this is going to be embarrassing” way. Timberlake’s performance had this desperation to it. He’s been seeing relatively middling chart success for things outside of the Trolls soundtracks, his years as one of the world’s biggest pop stars are numbered. He knows soon that his career will eventually shift into greatest hits tours, he’ll be seen as a nostalgia act. He’s planting the seeds for it too on this reflective new album. A cluttered mess of callbacks to the sound of years gone by mixed in with him trying hard to be contemporary. 

The opener “Memphis” sounds like a gentrified Drake song and the following track, “Fuckin’ Up The Disco,” has him failing to get his groove back over one of the most uninteresting beats I’ve heard in a while. Calvin Harris did some production on it and he’s produced good stuff, but it sounds like everyone phoned it in here. The best stuff on the album is, no surprise when Timberlake joins forces with longtime collaborator Timbaland. He brings out the best in him, but it still isn’t enough to save this album. “Technicolor” is the most fruitful track here, but it pails in comparison to his hits from decades previous. “My Favorite Drug” brings the disco groove back, but Timberlake just fails to capture the energy. “Paradise” is one of the more transparent attempts at nostalgia bait as it sees him teaming back up with *NSYNC. The song is nothing more than a “oh, I guess that’s neat.” Everything I Thought It Was is full of non-starters and lazy attempts to rekindle Timberlake’s star power after a string of disappointing years. It isn’t very good at all, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a little bit funny. Better luck next time, JT.

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Geidi Primes (Lo-Fi Nightcore Edition) - Grimes

◇ genres: nightcore, indietronica, ethereal wave

yeah, sorry, no.

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genre : sadboy - mgk & Trippie Redd

◇ genre: emo rap

Ok, who is falling for this shit? Colson “I wish 13/14/15 year old girls weren’t allowed to be hot so I wouldn’t feel like such a creeper when I look at them” Baker’s, better known as Machine Gun Kelly’s, pivot to the pop punk and emo scene was as embarrassing as his ventures in the hip hop world. Yet, he had his most commercial success as a result of it. He’s a poser in every genre he inhabits. Not to say pop punk is this sacred genre or anything, but it’s just so obvious he’s playing into the genre’s stereotypes to fill a niche. On this new EP, he drags Trippie Redd down with him, as he returns to the rap world with his newfound mysterious, drug-addicted vampire persona. 

Obviously, it sucks. Every song is filled with horrific melodies and dogshit lyricism. I genuinely believe, though I can’t prove it, that these songs were written using ChatGPT. There is no unique flavor to them at all. It’s just boring, clunky, schlock that should be a career killer for both artists involved. Machine Gun Kelly, who is 33 years of age, pathetically delivers the bars, “I hate that I grew up sad as a kid, then I grew up and got sadder again” on “no more.” I feel like that line sums up just how abysmal this project is. The only thing that would make this album any good was if it was a parody, but seeing as how they’re getting exclusive Hot Topic merch from this, I doubt they would want to break the illusion just yet.

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[smoothbydangelo]

injury reserve, drive it like it's stolen (2017)

i can't place where i first heard injury reserve. i remember that i found them through their self-titled album in the summer of 2019. knowing 14 y/o me, my guess is i heard of them through a fantano review. at that point in summer 2019 i was obsessed with clipping. they were the first experimental hip hop group i listened to and their sound blew my mind (shoutout my best friend cam, he showed me clipping. in eighth grade). i wanted to find more music like clipping. so when i first listened to injury reserve (the album) i was stoked. they had something about them that made me an instant fan. i still come back to that album every so often and fall back in love with it.

injury reserve dominated my summer 2019 and followed me into my freshman year of high school. i started delving into their back catalogue that year and loved floss, live from the dentist office, and drive it like it's stolen, though their self-titled remained my favorite. floss and live from the dentist office became staples in my rotation that year.

when i heard about groggs's passing in 2020 my heart was broken. over the past year they had quickly became one of my favorite active groups and to find out that someone as young and full of life as groggs was no longer with us hit me pretty hard. i stopped listening to their music until late 2020 because it just became too sad.

when they announced by the time i get to phoenix i didn't know how to feel. part of me was so happy to hear new music from a group who's entire discography had excited me. another part of me was unsure of if i would even want to hear new music and be reminded of grogg's passing. i listened to "superman that" and realized i wasn't going to be able to make it through this new album. even as i'm writing this, i haven't heard any other songs from it. i don't know if i ever will.

injury reserve has been on my mind a lot recently because i met this guy in college who loves music. his name is anthony. he's a nice dude. knows way more about music than i probably ever will. a week or so ago we had a conversation about injury reserve which took me down this exact memory lane. through that chat i realized that i hadn't heard drive it like it's stolen in forever. i listened to it a couple times when i first got into them in 2019, but i couldn't remember a single song off of it except "see you sweat," which i didn't remember being too fond of.

i listened to the album in full this morning while i was writing an essay. i got sidetracked pretty quickly because this album is incredible. it doesn't compare to my memory of it at all. i think the minimalist production made this album seem bland to me when i was expecting something as explosive as their self-titled when i first heard it. parker's production never fails to catch my ears. i'm listening to "boom (x3)" right now and the piano sample is gorgeous and perfectly juxtaposed to the bombastic drums and verses.

if i had to use one word to describe this album it would be "understated." the choruses are simple and far from eye-catching. more than any of their other albums, drive it like you stole it really just feels like two guys rapping. parker's production is great but it takes a backseat to ritchie's and groggs's verses.

nothing highlights this better than "north pole." this song is a million things. it's really sad. it's mature. it might be my favorite song on the album. it's probably the best beat on the album. ritchie's verse makes me cry. especially the last three lines where he talks about his loved ones who have passed watching over him write and perform his songs.

after "north pole" comes "colors," which also might be my favorite song on the album. now it's groggs's verse that makes me cry. especially when he says that life isn't supposed to be perfect, it's supposed to be lived. jesus man what a loss. i just know that guy had so much more to say.

this album places more focus on lyricism than any other project from injury reserve. i think that's really brave. parts of this album make me feel like i'm at an open mic hearing someone read their poetry to a room of a dozen people. i think part of that feeling can be attributed to its brevity. it's only seven songs at 20 minutes.

i don't think this is a perfect album. "see you sweat" still isn't one of my favorite injury reserve songs. it kinda feels out of place on this record. it's not awful or anything, just kinda feels like a floss leftover.

overall though, i think drive it like it's stolen is incredible. these guys have something to say on this album. i hope that putting so much of their pain into their music was cathartic for them. maybe this is wishful thinking but i found an underlying optimism in this album, like ritchie and groggs knew that their past fuck-ups didn't define them. that pain is temporary. that progress isn't linear and "perfect" is unattainable.

i hope that parker and ritchie are doing well. i know that they started something called "bye storm" recently but i haven't looked into it. i think i might though. rediscovering injury reserve has made me think about a lot. i wasn't in the right headspace to listen to by the time i get to phoenix when they released it. but a lot has changed since then. i'm doing a lot better. i live three hours away from where i grew up. i have a different area code and new friends and hobbies. maybe i should check by the time i get to phoenix out. i'll think about it.

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

BECAME A CRASS FAN OVERNIGHT AFTER HEARING THIS MAN'S VOICE & BASS LINES.

PIC INFO: Spotlight on my all-time favorite member of the English anarchist punk band CRASS, Pete Wright, a.k.a., "Pete Wrong," bass guitarist and occasional vocalist, performing live at St Phillips Community Centre, Swansea, Wales, UK, on 9/24/1981. 📸: Steve Rapport.

"...I think that's where we were so opposite, our backgrounds. Then when you put into the equation, Pete Wright, his background came from FRANK ZAPPA. So you had this real mish-mash that we were all trying to put into that stuff."

-- STEVE IGNORANT on CRASS' mish-mash of influences, "Interviews: The Story of the Crassical Collection," c. March 2013

Sources: www.roilnoise.com/crass.htm & www.punknews.org/amp/50808/interviews-the-story-of-the-crassical-collection.

[theimpossiblescheme]

If It Be Thus to Dream

(I needed more MyaGinnyDee in my life, and in honor of @bombawife’s OC week, I decided to indulge myself--hope you enjoy!)

Iphegenia knew that she shouldn’t.  They were far outside her league, too far even for dreams.  She must be the quiet, practical, unassuming queen her mother had raised and not let such dreams run away with her.  And she had no desire to quit the stage, regardless of what the future held.

She knew she shouldn’t.  But Deuteronomy was so dashing, all warm dark eyes and rich fluffy coat and a laugh that filled your own chest to bursting.  You would never know he was the Jellicle Leader either–he really was a salt of the earth kind of tom, much more at home on the streets and in the long grass, conversing with the mice and picking nettles out of his fur, never acknowledging his status without a tilt of his head and a self-deprecating smile.  He would tell her about the vicarage and the relative quiet of the countryside, or he would talk about the crowded little Junkyard across the city, and she could hear the deepest affection in his voice when he talked about the other cats and passing humans who lived there.  He was always the first to laugh at himself, and so kind and such a good listener to boot.  With just a few words, he could make you feel like the only cats who existed.

She knew she shouldn’t.  But Myoraselle was so gorgeous, with her own dappled coat and spring-colored ribbons and smile that encompassed the whole world.  She was so modest, so loathe to call attention to herself, yet if you got her in the right mood she was probably the finest storyteller Ginny had ever met.  Such vivid characters she spun, such a beautiful tapestry of a world she wove, and such Romance–no story from Mya was complete without her delicately taking each of your heartstrings between her claws and playing them like a harp.  It was a wonder she never became an actress herself, but she insisted that she preferred smaller venues.  Just entertaining her friends and loved ones was enough, and she had a way of making you feel like you’d known her all your life.

She shouldn’t.  But they had given her such wonderful compliments at stage door that first night, and for those precious few minutes Rosaline’s wedding gown didn’t feel quite so heavy.  Andromeda grinned knowingly at her in the dressing room and commented that “you might have gained yourself a little fan club, darling.”  And sure enough, there they were at all her subsequent performances.  Always meeting her at stage door, and very slowly a few minutes’ rendezvous could easily turn into hours before Ginny realized she was still in costume.  To make things less awkward for her, they would meet her after rehearsals instead and let her regale them with tales of lost props and lighting malfunctions and Brighella being a diva while Gus took it all in teeth-gritted stride.  Deuteronomy–or Dee, as he insisted she call him–chuckled and said that sounded like the same Gus he’d played with as a kitten.  Mya asked after all her castmates, and Ginny gladly showered praise on Pumpernickel and Cornelius and Wiskuscat.  Unfortunately, Dee and Mya weren’t allowed to sit in during rehearsals (no matter how much Dee appealed to Gus), but she never had to wait long afterward.

She shouldn’t.  But when she was asked to go on as Queen Titania in Andromeda’s place one night, she couldn’t help searching the audience for them.  As she lay there under the lights in her bed of flowers, stroking the ears of Pumpernickel’s mask, she managed to catch their eyes in the third row.  Mya’s blush beneath her fur was almost incandescent, and Dee looked as though he’d caught a glimpse of the Heaviside itself.  It was all Ginny could do to remember her lines with their faces burning in her mind’s eye.

She shouldn’t.  But it was impossible not to think about them.  Their nightly visits became the highlight of her day, and she wondered what they would say were she to kiss them goodnight.  She had to remind herself not to peek through the curtain like a kitten to see where they were sitting, and Gus would lovingly needle her for it.  “Pining will only get you so far, my dear–sooner or later, you’ll have to tell them.”

She shouldn’t.  But whenever she watched them together, eyes glittering at each other as they conversed without words, leaning against shoulders and contentedly breathing in the other’s scent, Ginny wondered what it would be like to nestle between them.  She was just the right height to nestle under Dee’s chin and let Mya nestle under hers, after all.  And even as she mentally chastised her own boldness, the prospect of future visits, future shows, future nights spent together outside of the theater in much more intimate settings was almost more than she could bear.

She knew she shouldn’t.  It really was too much even to dream.

But one breathless evening, still in costume, still high on the thrill of seeing their starry faces from the stage yet again, still wondering why it ever took her so long, she did.

And even with the struggles and heartbreak that followed, she never regretted it for a moment.