#i assume i never posted this because it didn't meet my standards

[mintaikk]

Why Stolas likes Blitzø

(Continuation of this post. Tldr ar the end bcuz this is long.)

Yes, Ik how they first saw each other after 25 years. Yes, ik it could have started as lust that turned into love. Yes, it's an escape from his shitty marriage. Yes, it's probably Stolas loving sterotypical romance tropes. BUT, I think that there's more than meets the eye.

(Also, when I talk about Stolas meeting Blitzø, assume it's after the 25 years unless I specify it's when they were kids)

I think Stolas likes Blitzø for how different he is than what he's seen in his life. Blitzø is loud, outgoing, confident, and just an overall gremlin. He also doesn't hide his negative traits. He's rude and literally just screams about how much he dislikes something. He's not afraid to tell people to shut it when he's sick of them. Compare that to Stolas's life, where he just learns to internalize shit and accept life as it is while following all these weird-ass royalty standards.

And listen. In my "Why Blitzø Likes Stolas" post, I said that a major reason that Blitzø likes him is because he's dramatic and wears his heart on his sleeve. But that's Stolas when he's with the people he cares about, like Blitzø and Octavia. In his regular life, Stolas is a reserved, quiet introvert who's used to other Goetia's shitting on him all the time. Before he met Blitzø, he just took people's shit and was awkward when it came to voicing what he wanted (he literally stuttered 😭). And then, he met Blitzø, who was loud and confident and came across as not caring what people thought (we know he cares a bit bcuz he looked self conscious when in the room with other Goetia's, but Stolas didn't know that). And he was really forward with what he wanted as well, which Stolas never even considered that he was allowed to do. Going back to when he was a child (bcuz this shit always starts when your young and stupid), Stolas literally cried when he realized he was going to marry Stella, and instead of Paimon listening to him to see why, he just distracted him by taking him to The Circus. Distracting your saddness and anger with other things, amiright? This is how alcohol addictions start, gang). This just shows how Blitzø being really confident and forward was just- not something Stolas was used to in his life!

Stolas probably likes how rude Blitzø is as well, if that makes sense. Like I said, Stolas grew up in royalty, and being polite is a huge thing, but being polite can just turn into being a doormat. And, I'm sure all Blitzø lovers noticed this, but he's litterally so rude. Like, he's a secret softy, but he's rude. He screams at Moxxie whenever he gets. He plays loud music and badly sings along with his employees in the car. Stolas litterally heard Blitzø insult Moxxie just because he could (S2 Episode 2, Seeing Stars). And yes, this is a negative trait, but I still think Stolas likes it a bit bcuz, let's be real here, he was a fucking doormat, and he admires Blitzø for just openly being rude.

Edit: One person pointed out that the reason Stolas responds positively to Blitzø's rudeness and insults but negatively to Stella's is because Stella means to be awful while Blitzø insults him out of love (Truth Seekers as evidence)

They also both have a weird fucked up sense of humor. Stolas is the only one to laugh at Blitzø's joke at the Circus when talking about the "gross worm horse," because it was scientifically correct (I love this guy), and he's the only one to laugh at his jokes in Seeing Stars, despite them being incredibly violent ("And then that BITCH *something something, I don't remeber the exact quote and i dont feel like checking* SHATTERED HER SKULL! There was Blood everywhere!"), and Stolas is laughing like it's the funniest thing he's heard because there probably WAS blood everywhere! And let's be real here, laughing at his jokes is a BIG sign that someone likes someone in media.

Okay, imma bring this up. Yes, Stolas had a crush on Blitzø when they were kids. Yes it was cute. Yes, his blushing was adorable. BUT, kids have crushes differently than teenagers and adults. In elementary school, a girl I knew had a crush on a boy because he had a cool shirt. Stolas probably started having a crush on Blitzø because his doll was an imp, and Stolas was mostly raised by the imp butler, so he found comfort in imps. I wouldn't call that fetishization just yet, bcuz he was just a kid, but I just want to point it out. And while I do think this, I think he also started liking Blitzø as a kid because he thought he was funny and fun to hang out with.

Also, Blitzø is just- silly! He likes bad jokes. He sticks his tongue out when he's being a troll. He loves horses and draws them all the time- even drawing Stolas & Via as horses and giving it to Stolas as a gift (I'm not making this up, this was from Blitzø's twitch because he had that)

He makes goofy faces all the time. His eyes dilate when he's happy. He loves games. He follows the "Byeeeeee <3" trend in cartoons. He likes playing with stickers. He likes going to the park and playing with the horse toys 😭

And going back to the "He grew up in royalty thing where he had to fit rigid social standards," thing, all of this would just be cute quirks to Stolas bcuz he's not used to it! He admires Blitzø a lot just because of how much of himself he is!

Blitzø is also really brave (reckless depending on who you ask, but we're on Stolas's perspective here!). Blitzø, the lowest denizen of Hell, scaled the walls of a literal Goetia prince bcuz he wanted to fuck him (again, Stolas's perspective). His business is about going to Earth, something implied to be illlegal if you don't have permission from a higher up, to kill people. He's litterally an assassin and skilled in combat. And, if you haven't figured it out by now, a lot of crushes start by admiring the traits that you don't have (how we all confused gender envy with crushes, lmao). And while I'd argue that Stolas is pretty brave now (going full demon mode on Earth, still standing his ground when Striker was threatening him, "THAT WAS THE SOUND OF A FUCKING DIVORCE!"), he wasn't when he met Blitzø. I already talked about him being a doormat, so I won't talk about it again, but we all know how he was.

And, my favorite thing about romantic ships, ✨️The Connection✨️. Blitzø and Stolas spend a lot of time together on the Full Moon, and sometimes not even all the Full Moon. A basic thing of BDSM etiquette is after care and making sure your partner is okay. And, knowing Stolas's romantic heart, he probably fell harder during the aftercare, where they had to care for each other and talk about stuff. Honestly, I wish they showed the aftercare in the show bcuz I feel like it could add so much more context to their relationship. VIVZIE, PLEASE!

I've been keeping this mostly PG13, but yes, they are very sexually compatible, which Stolas has literally never felt until sleeping with Blitzø.

Blitzø is also just a very loving person. He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve like Stolas, but when he likes something, he lets everyone know . He loves his daughter and is super affectionate with her. He loves his business and his employees, and he likes getting to know them and doing fun stuff with them (Harvest Moon festival). Like said before, he loves horses and draws them all the time and carries little horse toys with him everywhere. Like, THIS IS HIS FACE WHEN HIM AND STOLAS MADE HORSES OUT OF CANDLE WAX TOGETHER. It's so cute!

Stolas grew up litterally being told, "Excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia" (S2, episode 1, The Circus), and Blitzø is literally excited a bunch of the time. Honestly, I think it's really sweet that they both like each other for the emotion they show.

Oh! This too! Bryce Pinkham said that Blitzø is "someone that Stolas fan truly be himself around."

Stolas doesn't feel like he has to put an act on around Blitzø. Notice how he's a lot more open and theatrical around Blitzø, and he's not afraid to get dressed up (he never got dressed up for the Gortia parties other than his basic outfit, lol). He's goofy and flirty with him and acts really excited and affectionate and smiley and just- overall a lot more comfortable! Compare that to when he's with the other people, where he's more reserved and quiet ang goes along with whatever. Yes, The Goetia party, but that's with people he hated. Compare it to how he was when he was helping Ozzie. Yes, you could argue that he was nervous about the Asmodean crystal and Fizz, but it's still a noticeable change. He's quiet and seems stiffer than when he is with Blitzø.

(The only other person he is open with like he is with Blitzø is Via, and he also loves Via. Honestly, he's just a really outgoing person with the people he loves/feels comfortable around).

Idk what else to say. I've been typing this shot for 2 hours straight. Enjoy my weird Ted talk about a kinky owl demon. If you have anything you'd like to add, please tell me, I'd love to hear it!

Tldr; Stolas likes Blitzø because he's different than what he's used to, he's confident, he's himself, they both have a weird fucked up sense of humor, he's brave, he's silly, they have a connection past sex, they're very sexually compatible, Blitzø is a very loving snd passionate person, and Stolas can be himself around him.

Okay, extremely dumb thing that doesn't matter, but did you know Barn Owls are attracted to Barn Owls with a lot of spots? Please note that Blitzø's scars made him have a lot of spots around his body. This person also went over gay barn Owls courtship and its litterally how Stolas and Blitzø first slept together, I can't stand this show sometimes 😭

[candywife333]

Delulu is the Solulu

PART 1- Hairy Big Toe

AND PART 1 is finally out. Planning 2-3 parts for this.

Chubby OC (with PCOS) x simp idol Jungkook

No proofreading done

Summary: Our OC (Lee Ireum) loves Jungkook of BTS to pieces. She loves him through the distance of her screen and in fact is one of his avid fan club members. She is running for president of the ARMY fan club in her home town. But, she has a peculiarity about her, that even her fellow members in arms don't know about her. She never wants to meet them. She never wants to meet BTS, and she especially never wants to meet Jungkook. She believes in never meeting your heroes because they will end up disappointing you, eventually. To hold up this ideal, she has never been to their in person events. However, though she has never been to a fan meet ,she is supposed to attend one the coming week (at the blackmailing insistence of one of her friends). Yet, she had started to text a dude through a popular dating app around the same time all of this was happening.

It had started out as a prank, this dating profile. She would post sexy pics , have amusing chats with thirsty dudes, and then block them for the shits and giggles. Living the true online play girl life, something she would never do in real life cause of insecurities. The odd thing with the dude she is texting though is that the time stamps of the texts are not showing up in Korean time, it almost seemed like Eastern standard time. And the odder thing was that closer to her fan meet date, the time stamps changed back to korean standard time. The question was, who exactly was she chatting with?

Description : This fic will be written with chat messages in between (dilineated by bullets), alternating with the usual writing.

Disclaimer: The character of Jungkook in this fic is not a true representation of his real life actions or personality. Please treat this is fiction.

Triggers: voyeurism, dub-conish , body insecurity (chubby hairy OC incoming)

I opened up my phone to see the recent chats I had received from the new dating app I signed up for a week back. Damn, so many requests within a few hours from when I finished updating my blank profile with pics of myself (of course since it is just a thirst trap account without my face) which were just way too scandalous for real life. I opened up the first chat that I received.

bunnyboy7- Show me your tits🤤

The hell, guys were that straightforward? I thought I would at least get a little segue and introduction, luring me in, before being asked for my literal boobs in a pic.

strawcakes4- Excuse me? Sir this is a Wendy's drive through👵.

bunnyboy7- Then, at least show me your ass🍑

Damn, this dude was way too relentless. I didn't even show a hint of cleavage in my actual pics on the dating profile to signal that I might be open to showing anybody anything. How did this random guy, think he had the honor of seeing first my tits? and then my bare ass? I guess dude didn't yet know that I had a hairy ass. Even monkeys would be envious. I even had a few hairs on my tits. I grew chest hair before guys in my class did. Even had upper lip hair to match. Had to get that little bitch ripped off my face every Sunday with my handy dandy waxing pot, otherwise I would be sporting a rather impressive moustache most of the time. Dude, didn't know what he was even asking for.

strawcakes4- I think you have the wrong number Sir Bunny

bunnyboy7- Trust me baby, you won't regret me.

strawcakes4- What are you going to say next? champagne confetti? too predictable dude. You think you are JK or something🤨?

bunnyboy7- In fact yes I do, my fair lady. (5:00 AM EST)

strawcakes4- They say the world is made up of mostly sane poeple. I am beginning to doubt this claim. Delulu is not the solulu my friend. 😌No matter how much you and I both wish you were JK, that is not reality.

bunnyboy7- Ok, well how about you assume I am JK and why don't you show your favorite , cutest global pop-star your bellybutton then? Ask not what your JK can do for you, but what you can do for your JK. It is for a noble cause.

strawcakes4- Excuse me? how desperate are you dude? We progressed from ass, to tits, to belly button? You have a fetish or something? And now you claim to be JK---THE SHEER AUDACITY?! JK would be too busy earning millions ,performing at times square, eating noodles drenched in perilla oil, hanging out with calvin klein models. He would not be sitting here looking so pathetic.

bunnyboy7- Sometimes stars have needs too. Ok!? We don't have models gyrating 10 feet away from us all the time, contrary to popular opinion. And sometimes we do our own laundry. Is that so hard for you to fucking believe?!

What were the odds of this guy actually being jungkook? He was probably a troll or delusional fanboy who thought he was JK. He sure was putting in a lot of effort to convince me though. Rolling my eyes, I scrolled further down to reply:

strawcakes4- clutching my forehead in disbelief you need to get over yourself dude. If you are Jungkook, I am bloody britney spears. I am not sending nudes or sexting you. OFF to HORNY JAIL WITH YOU, YOUNG MAN!! 🔥If you were truly JK, you wouldn't be begging, you would already be receiving. bunnyboy7- Fine, fine fine, if you can't send me nudes or sext with me, let's play a game of 20 questions.

strawcakes4- Ok?

bunnyboy7- What does your pussy look like? describe it in no less than 20 words. Your timer starts now😉

This dude had balls of steel, he even wanted a pussy description. He would probably run for the hills if he actually saw my furry snatch in person. Chewing on my lip, deliberating my next response, I typed out:

strawcakes4- Ok, "JK", I think …………….I have contracted syphilis from my step father in Transylvania and I am about to die. So………….I am leaving the chat…………….to go get it treated.

bunnyboy7- Don't lie to me like that strawbaby!!! Don't you dare leave this chat.

------Strawcakes4 has left the chat

bunnyboy7- Goddamnit. Ok forget about pussy. At least show bobs.🤤 (5:10 AM EST)

bunnyboy7- Fuck, I came on to her way too hard I guess

Giggling and kicking my feet as I lay on my bed, I chuckled, sounding like a pig snorting in the process. At least he figured out, that he was coming on to me way too hard and way too inappropriately.

I sat there contemplating whether I should delete his chat log and block him. I usually did that after 2-3 interactions with particularly horny dudes, or even after 1 interaction with really annoying clingy guys. Here for a good time, not a long time fellas. I was literally baffled when some of them were using me for therapy sessions. Like, why should I do so much unpaid work?! Like hell I was wasting my time talking to these dudes constantly .

I didn't mind flirting, bantering and eventually sharing pics after building a rapport (not like I kept them for long in my dms either way). But the way this dude had come on so strong was perplexing and rather irritating. I had come across this type of behavior from many other dudes. But he was the first one to not even say Hi. Usually the other dudes had decency to atleast greet her and then start their lewd demands. Pathetic buffoon.

I flopped onto my back, sighing over the fact that I would have to attend that fan meet in a few days. I did not want to meet any of the members of BTS. The only idols I had an intention of meeting in my life were MAMAMOO. I loved their vibe and would feel comfortable in their presence. My main reason for wanting to meet was also so I could ask Hwasa to step on my face with her high heels. The lady was a divine goddess. Sometimes I just wished I was lesbian, because so many things would be easier. Finding men attractive, was a curse.

Running for president of our BTS fanclub in our hometown was a feat. You can only print out so many posters of Jimin's luscious lips, and Jin's windswept perfectly tousled hair, before you get tired of seeing them. Somedays I got so tired of doing BTS related activities, like chaperoning younger armys to attend their music shows and meets in Korea. It was fine when I was a younger teen in middle school, but as a college junior it felt taxing at times.

I had seen the members from afar but never went to actual fan meets where you could interact or talk to them. Convinced it would lead to disillusionment at their carefully manufactured images and heartache, I rejected attending those type of meets. My baby members always pushed me attend, wanting me as a chaperone so their parents would feel comfortable with them attending. I just couldn't though, and they would stare back at me with their puppy dog eyes disheartened at my refusal. But, something about my attitude as a fan had changed. I still loved them to the moon and back, but I guess it was getting tiring.

I had different priorities I guess, like getting a new job with the marketing degree I was to graduate with next year. I groaned at the prospect of finding a place to live next year. My dorm room would be gone and I would have to look for a flat since mom and dad lived in the countryside.

Two days later, I was met with another stream of texts from the same person, bunnyboy7. Why in the fucking hell was he bothering me now? Especially with the dreaded fan meet I had to attend in a few days. Armies looked out for each other, and the main reason for me to attend wasn't honestly even about running for president. It was the responsibility of looking after the young, impressionable minds that would be attending. Had to make sure they didn't get hurt in a crowd, or break down. You would be surprised how many people tended to cry a river and lose their bloody mind when seeing their favorite idols.

I opened the chat log:

bunnyboy7- you there angel? my beautiful goddess? temptress of my dreams, or shall I say tittytress of my fantasies😏😏

I scoffed as I stared at the screen, what the hell was he on? weed? nicotine? You would think one rejection would be enough to get my point across, to convey my distaste.

strawcake4- Ummmmm. Why are you still talking to me dude? I am not interested in sexting or nudes. Leave me alone, I am way too busy for this right now

bunnyboy7- I have been fisting myself everyday to the pic you posted of yourself in a see through black babydoll dress with your tits drooping down , perfect size for my hands to squeeze. I almost came as I could see your thick thighs, just the right size to have wrapped around my neck as I lick your juicy little pussy😜 Please at least take pity on a poor man and post a feet pic. (7:00 AM KST)

strawcake4- Ok dude, this convo has prolonged far enough. If you have a boner, I will deflate it in two seconds flat, that's all I need. My toes are hairy, my tummy is hairy, my legs are ......you guessed it hairy and so is the rest of my body. I look like a cross between a chubby baboon and a chimpanzee. Now , unless you are into bestiality, you won't want to engage further with me. Leave me the fuck alone.

I expected no response from him, confident in my abilities to turn off men. The dude would have deleted the chat by now. Checking out of sheer curiosity, I was shocked, gasping as sweat beaded on my hairline, at his reply:

bunnyboy7- It's ok baby, we can just shave it all off if it bothers you, no biggie. 😋But I like my pussies hairy , a whole jungle, so don't worry in the least. And I can tell just from your pics, that I would drown in your pussy and never come up for air. It would be a glorious way to go, don't you think darling 🤓

I was breathless as I stared at his text, what the hell did he mean? He didn't mind all the body hair and my fat little self?

strawcake4- stop messing around dude, you are just lying. Now let us just end the convo, you are fooling nobody.

bunnyboy7- Who said I was lying baby😏. Just send one pic of your choosing of your body. And I will prove it to you. (7: 05 AM KST)

I shouldn't be doing this. But my fingers moved to my photo gallery and I picked out one pic I had taken in dim light of my tits and tummy, intact with strawberry red lingerie that showed hints of fine downy hair here and there. He would probably be turned off and we could end this interaction. I paused several minutes, indecisive about sending the pic.

bunnyboy7- You still there babe? please babygirl, I am salivating at the thought of you. Send a pic, any pick. The mere thought of you is keeping me on the verge of cumming. (7: 10 AM KST )

I took a deep breath, not dragging the pic through my editing app, and clicked SEND, closing my eyes at the thought of what I had just done, wincing a little. I peeked at the screen with one eye open, he was typing. I almost jolted up towards the ceiling as I saw what he had written, my panties getting damp involuntarily.

bunnyboy7- OMG BABY🤤🤤I can't handle all your beauty. The perfect tits, tipped with chocolate brown areolas. I could just bite into them. And that gorgeous collection of pudge around your belly, your skin and flesh looks so soft. I can't believe I am saying this but........I would even lick your armpits and your asshole if you would let me. Totally my dream girl. I am cumming, oh ma god , I can't hold back anymore.

Before, I could reread his text, I received a pic. WTF!!!! My soul almost left my body, it was a pic of cum all squirted out , translucent and stringy onto his plain white sheets.

bunnyboy7- A tribute to you my luscious goddess. If only I could see you in motion, in 3D babe, to truly worship you. (7: 15 KST)

Something in my brain started tugging at me as I sat there on my bed stunned at all his proclamations of lust. Wait, when did his time zone change from EST to KST??? Didn't Jungkook just come back to Korea a few days back? It definitely couldn't be him , right ? We already had a joking convo about that. What type of reverse psychology was he using, if it was actually him?

I was about to dismiss the thought from my head when I saw his cum pic. Wait, I had seen that tattoo somewhere. His pic had part of his hand in the frame. If you weren't an army who had hung up his posters all of your school, you might not have a clue. But, the M on one of his knuckes, was a big give away. I still found it hard to believe even with the evidence. Why would Jungkook of BTS, the beloved, hot and happening global popstar, be texting me? And what had become of my vow never to interact with them?

Had I actually just now talked to Jungkook? And seen his cum sprayed all over his sheets? and had him simping over hairy little, big foot me? Since when did people like me talk with people like them?

[sherrendipities]

i have no interest in engaging with people whose values do not align with mine, for my own safety and as a moral standard. if you don't stand for the liberation of palestine and all colonized people, this is not the place for you. if i followed you and you don't agree with me on this, it's because i didn't see anything discussing this on your blog. do us both a favor and block me. note that i am NOT a liberal, i hate democrats, and yes, harris is as much a genocidal war profiteer as biden and trump. commies only beyond this point.

learn about palestine. do your daily clicks. boycott & push for divestment where you can. vote uncommitted. keep masking. read about decolonization and liberation of all people all over the earth (free books by keystone authors).

with that out of the way: hi, hello, welcome! i'm sherry (not really), and this is where i dump out all my horny ramblings so i don't explode lol. besides being a raging slut, i'm also a scientist, communist, pagan, writer, and a lover of books.

i'm single and always enjoy meeting new folk, especially fellow nerds and commies 💕

🟢 things i love: orientation play/dykebreaking. misogyny. breeding. fauxcest (father/daughter & brother/sister). rapeplay. free use. monsterfucking. praise. petplay. corruption. edging & denial. exhibitionism. hand fetish & voice kink.

🟡 things i mostly like: degradation and dumbification, but don't make me think you don't like me ok, i'm still baby. light impact play, esp slapping and spanking. occasionally detrans comes up bc i like the bioessentialism aspect. hypno and worship are fun if i'm obsessed with you. most things get way more fun if i'm obsessed with you tbh, so i'm open for 1x1 discussion with time.

🟠 things i don't like: anything unhygenic will often squick me out, incl piss, scat, vomit, rimming, feet, shoes (specifically being stepped on), occasionally spit, etc. i'm a giant baby about substance use, so no intox play.

🔴 things i will outright block you for: raceplay of any kind, incl sexualizing hijabis. any form of body shaming or controlling eating. don't call me pig. extreme violence, especially when a lot of blood is involved. don't push me to try this kink irl without discussion first.

tag guide ⁠—

# sherry speaks : unfiltered horny ramblings

# sherry writes : longer, more cohesive horny ramblings

# sherry reads : ramblings on romantic and erotic books

# ooc : non-horny ramblings, often political

# happy queueincidence : queued posts

# 💬 , # 🐶 : tags for my fav mutuals xoxo

# me core : for silly little posts that resonate with me on a soul-deep level

i don't tag individual kinks, but mutuals and friends are welcome to ask me to!

some necessary disclaimers:

this is all fantasy and not at all representative of my real-world views and behaviors. i will often post things tagged #ooc to denote when i'm being serious!

nothing is sexy without informed and enthusiastic consent from all parties. never hesitate to communicate your needs and boundaries with me 💕

i'm quite selective with sending pictures or audios. you never have permission to share anything i send you, publicly or privately. i will assume the same for you unless stated otherwise.

header credit. pfp credit.

[jae-bummer]

Just for Tonight

Request: 5 + hyunjin pls :3 and ty ! :3

Prompt:

5) “Let me call you mine, just for tonight.”

Pairing: Stray Kids Hyunjin x Reader

Genre: Angst

(**warning: language and steamy situations)

.

Having visitors early in the AM was not a common standard for you.

That is, unless it was Hyunjin.

Casually dating an idol was not on your bingo card for the year, but here you were, yanking open the front door of your apartment to usher in a man you never would have thought could acknowledge your existence.

It wasn't that you weren't worthy of dating someone who was a celebrity, it was that you assumed this particular one was much too expensive for you. Now, when talking about "expense," you weren't meaning that he spent large amounts of money. You were meaning that he looked expensive. His features, his movements, his aura. Everything about that man was extraterrestrial in the most enticing way (emphasis on the "extra"). He was walking art. No one should approach him in any capacity because no one was worth his time.

But then there was you.

He had admitted before that you brought a sense of normalcy to his world. The safety of your normal, little apartment. The stories where you talked about your normal job and your normal schedule. He craved these bits of your life, if only to live vicariously through them.

When he showed up on your doorstep, he looked like he could almost be normal too. With a hat pulled low over his eyes, baggy clothes to distort his frame, and a dark mask covering his mouth, he could be any person visiting their partner.

Only the two of you knew his secret...for now.

That's what he was here to talk about.

"What did the company decide?" you blurted before he even crossed the doorstep.

He didn't look up from his phone as he came inside, popping off his shoes as soon as he got past the entryway. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against the cold metal. "Is this really how you want to start?"

"If you don't tell me now, it's going to be all I think about," you said quietly.

It had been two days since an article was posted online about Hyunjin's dating life. Apparently, sources had leaked that he was dating a non-celebrity and had been for months now. They even had distorted security footage of the two of you leaving a 7/11 in the dead of night.

As soon as the news broke, Hyunjin was brought in for a meeting with his managers where he felt compelled to confess everything. It was then up to their PR team on how they wanted to deal with the situation. It didn't really matter what he wanted, and definitely not what you wanted.

If you could, you would keep Hyunjin tucked away from the world for as long as you could. It was selfish, but this was your worst fear. You didn't want the fate of your relationship to be in everyone's hands but your own.

Turning your back towards him, you muttered. "Quickly, please."

Hyunjin took a deep breath before starting, speaking as if he was reading a memorized script. "The company decided that it would be best to dispel any dating rumors. At this time in my career, it would be foolish to throw away what I've worked so hard for. Fans will not welcome the idea of me seeing someone, especially a non-celebrity. I'll be a weakness for the team, and I can't in good conscience let that happen."

You turned toward him, horrified. He looked back, a sad smile on his face and helplessness in his eyes. "They've asked that I stop meeting with you for the foreseeable future."

It felt like your chest was going to crack in two. Admittedly, you had both decided that you wouldn't put a label on what you had. You weren't dating seriously or exclusively, but it was unsaid. You had a bond and a love for each other that only grew more intense as the days went on. It seemed like a safety protocol to keep it casual, but in the end, it hurt no matter what you wanted to call yourselves.

"Fuck," you whispered, plopping on the couch. You weren't sure where to look, but it certainly wasn't at Hyunjin.

Biting his lip, Hyunjin nodded slowly. "Fuck."

"We should've been more careful," you croaked, on the brink of tears. "We should've ordered in and -"

"Y/N," Hyunjin sighed. Tilting his head, he smiled sadly again. "That's no way to live."

"It is when it's protecting you!" you squeaked. Dropping your face into your hands, you tried to focus on your breathing.

"You shouldn't have to protect me," you heard him say quietly. Crossing the room, he sat on the couch beside you and leaned his head on your shoulder. "I should be the one protecting you...and in a weird way, I guess that's what I'm doing."

"Oh yeah," you scoffed, popping your head up. "Breaking up will do such great things for me."

"Hey," he chuckled softly, sitting up so he could wipe at the tears sliding down your cheeks. "I really don't want fans to start meddling in your life too."

And that was a valid point. If you continued to date, how long would it take for internet sleuths to figure out your identity? And from there, how long would it be until an attack was launched your way? Your job, your relationships, your social life. Everything could come crashing down if your information got into the wrong hands.

You knew he was right, and you hated it.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into my mess in the first place," he said quietly. "It wasn't fair to you."

"Stop," you groaned. "I don't want an apology."

Hyunjin nodded, remaining quiet. You knew he was just as much at a loss for words as you were. However long your relationship was, it was one of the brightest moments in your life, and you never wanted to take that away.

"Normally when I'm dumped," you continued. "At least I get to be angry at the person who's breaking up with me. This time, I have to be mad at a whole corporation."

Hyunjin snorted lightly. "You can be mad at me if it makes you feel better."

"You're the last person I want to be mad at," you sighed. Looking toward him, you tried not to start crying again. "So this is it?"

"Probably for a while," he whispered. "Is it...is it okay if I still text you? From time to time?"

"I would be disappointed if you didn't," you smiled.

Pulling yourself to your feet, you tugged Hyungjin along with you. "Well, I guess we should rip the band aid off then."

Sliding your arms around his waist, you nuzzled your face into his chest. Without hesitation, he wrapped his own around your shoulders, encasing you in all that was Hyunjin.

"I'm going to miss this," he whispered into your hair. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you more," you croaked, leaning back to look him in the eyes. "It'll be okay."

He nodded, but you could see tears start to gather at his waterline. "Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I know...I know you said you wanted to rip off the band aid," he started slowly. "And I assume that meant that I should leave quickly because it would hurt less...but..."

"But?"

"Can I be selfish?" he whispered.

Furrowing your brows, you looked up at him again. "What do you mean?"

“Let me call you mine," he breathed. "Just for tonight?”

It was suddenly very difficult to breath. Having one last night together would definitely break your heart even more, but it was tempting. One last taste of the man you never thought would be yours.

The last time he'd be tangled in your sheets. The last time you'd smell his cologne on your pillowcase. The last time you'd hear him tinkering in the kitchen, getting coffee ready for the two of you in the morning.

You had taken so much for granted before, not even realizing that it could all come to a grinding halt. At least if you had one more night, you could truly treasure those moments and commit them to memory forever.

It may make the pain even worse, but you didn't care. You were selfish too.

"It's going to suck so bad," you murmured. "But I guess it already does."

"I don't want to make things more complicated," he said quickly, but you immediately shook your head.

"Hyunjin," you said, your voice much more fragile than you wanted. "Please stay."

The response was immediate. Hyunjin's hands grabbed at the fabric of your sweater, balling it inside of his fists as he held your waist. Lips crashing into yours, and bodies swaying from the impact, you struggled down the hall to your bedroom, making sure no part of your anatomy broke contact.

It took only moments for the back of your knees to hit the edge of the bed and send you sprawling. Hyunjin climbed over you, familiar with the scene being played before him. There would be time later to go slowly and luxuriate in each other's attention. Right now was for fulfilling a need and a want so deep that it made you act on instinct alone.

He began kissing down your jaw and to your neck, causing small whimpers to escape your lips. The sounds only encouraged him, turning his gentle motions into ones involving teeth and tongue. As his mouth searched for your shoulders, he grew impatient with your sweater and started to yank it up and over your head. It wasn't long before he insisted that he wanted your skin against his, so he paused only to dispose his own clothing before carefully sliding your pants from your legs.

Kneeling atop the mattress, he looked down at you with reverence. His brow furrowed for a moment as he bit his lip and took you in. Reaching up, you tugged him closer before smoothing out the small line between his eyebrows. "You're not allowed to look conflicted. Not tonight."

"I wasn't conflicted," he said hoarsely. "You're just so beautiful that it hurts."

Your breathing hitched as he looked into your eyes. He wanted you to know that he was being sincere, and this was all as painful for him as it was for you.

Head bowing again, he caught your lips for a softer kiss this time. Using one hand for leverage, he used the other to cradle your cheek. The moment was so tender, you were certain you would just split apart when it was over. Breaking the kiss, he gave you another heavy look before moving his motions down your chest and stomach, only stopping to use his tongue when it suited him. Your small noises and gasps were his driving factor, so if he wasn't getting enough, he would work until his name fell constantly from your lips.

Settling himself between your legs, he glanced up at you with half lidded eyes. "Being away from this is going to be torture."

Reaching down, you pushed his hair behind his ears and gave a lazy smile. Your fingers quickly found their way to the strands at the top of his head, brushing through them once before grabbing hold. "Then make sure you give me something to remember."

.

[stepmarchen]

I might just be going crazy, but your post about Jeremy and Norra getting way more muscle at the end of season 2 makes me think that they weren’t that muscled in the epilogue chapters. Like, the wedding chapters specifically, to me Jeremy looks a bit slimmer, more like he did at the start of season 2. Maybe it’s because Norra and Jeremy spar together daily in TL2? Shuri herself noted that Jeremy easily beat all the other knights, both his age and older, and only found his match in Norra. But for TL1 Norra I can easily imagine it’s more him not taking super good care of himself since he’s depressed and borderline suicidal while in Striefe. What do you think?

You're not the only who noticed that! I think you're right on the money!

I don't have much to add, so I'll be expanding on your conclusions below! Potential Spoilers under the cut!

First off, a specific scene that never fails to catch my attention is the Swordsmanship Tournament. They just look so different between the two timelines. We could settle for calling it poor design and planning, but that's no fun, so let's explore the other avenues.

Based on their size and outfits, it almost seems as if the Founder's Festival took place far earlier than it did in TL2. In T1, they still look like pre-teens. I mean, their broadswords are actually larger than they are. The only anomaly that suggests otherwise being Jeremy's apprenticeship outfit.

Meanwhile, in the second timeline, they're practically adults whether you look at it in terms of proportions, musculature, or the outfits.

We know that Jeremy became an apprentice sometime during the 3 year timeskip and that the Founder's Festival takes place every 4 years. So maybe their duel took place 4 years earlier in TL1 than it did in TL2...

IMO it's pretty possible that Jeremy was apprentice'd 1 year earlier in the 1st timeline. Without the events of The Trial taking place in TL1, I don't think it's outlandish to say that Jeremy got a head start in his knight's career.

But wouldn't this make Jeremy more muscular in the 1st timeline? Some might think so, but I'm lead to think otherwise.

Like you mentioned, Jeremy and Nora sparred every day together in TL2. Jeremy and Nora are both considered highly skilled individuals who could probably only rival one another. We see this in Jeremy's brief memories of his knight's training. He's usually depicted being the top of his class, easily winning spars with little to no effort.

It's plausible that Jeremy's standards were lowered in the 1st timeline, explaining his slimmer stature in The End of a Fairytale epilogue chapters. See how his frame seems to resemble Theo, who barely held a sword in both timelines.

Nora was also thinner in TL1. During his monologue in TL2's tournament, he says

"Unlike everyone else, I didn't have a dream to fight for... I didn't have any passion or drive to meet other's expectations or to be acknowledged by them. I didn't swing my sword with any of that in mind. I just swung it at anything that came my way, disinterested and uninspired, I was ready to let go of it... In other words... that was how I felt about my very existence."

-Nora to Jeremy (ch. 113)

Throughout the series, Nora has expressed his lack of passion for life. We often see moments of him just... sitting or lying down in his free time. It isn't until he befriends the Neuschwansteins that he finally finds purpose in life.

In TL1, he never has this revelation... and we can probably assume that he spent most of his time in TL1 continuing to sit around in silence. It's a pretty heartbreaking conclusion, but it totally makes sense considering the path TL1 Jeremy and Nora ended up taking.

I do think Orka's art developing had some hand in the change, but a huge part of it also seems very intentional. Hopefully Orka blesses us with more TL1 scenes in Season 3 so we can expand on the timeline!

[sortyourlifeoutmate]

So I've seen a lot of interesting opinions regarding the riots or, rather, interesting opinions regarding the response from the authorities to the riots, and a lot of these interesting opinions have also been bad opinions.

I am not the ultimate arbitrator of what is and isn't correct, obviously, but I'm better than some it turns out, so let's give out a little. Because damn.

(And even by my standards this is a little verbose and angry, so let's just put in a little read more here to spare people.)

As you may or may not be aware, there were some riots recently. Who am I kidding, you're aware. You also probably have a fairly solid idea of what lead to what. Horrible murder, ridiculous lies, racists, Gregg's gets looted. It wasn't pleasant.

With that as preamble, let's see some nonsense.

So yes, this seems like a great place to start. A sober and level-headed analysis of the riots that immediately veers into "The foreigners are united and invading" and operates from this baseline, assuming that it is common-sense and just plain reality.

No, sir. You are silly. The riots may have been racially-motivated in the main (we can piss and moan and poke and probe about the corrosive effects of austerity and other such interesting causes but they sort of lose a lot of their heft in the face of predominantly white crowds yelling 'We want out country back') but assuming that the racist people racistly rioting had a point is, uh, wrong. They don't and didn't, and neither do you, you big cocking racist.

Attempting to conquer and colonize indeed. They're not, and saying such things make you sound like a person who does not perhaps have a solid grasp on, well, anything. I assume you can put your trousers on yourself in the morning, but frankly I'll be happy never know.

(PS: What the fuck does 'if the native British want to survive they need to unite racially' mean, exactly? Working off the basis that you are a big cocking racist I can just assume you mean 'White people have to keep everyone else out' but that's not really, uh, that's not great? What's British, exactly? What's native British? Do Normans count? How far back are we going? Why are we even bothering to ask because, at this point, we realise we are talking to be a big ol' racist.)

Moving on.

Okay look. No-one likes the idea of the government arresting you for saying something and that's, you know, fine, but there seems to be this idea that the UK government is on a tear right now just locking up anyone who so much as mentions riots or immigration and that's... not... true...?

You see in this country a thing you can get in trouble for is incitement of violence or racial hatred or some combination of those things. Now normally, thanks to the parlous state of the courts and the police your odds of getting away with that sort of thing are pretty good, but in the wake of explicitly racist riots you being cheeky and posting that hilarious "We should totally burn all the brown people, let's all meet at this location at this time and 'peacefully protest' (wink)" meme is likely to be viewed rather more dimly.

(As an aside, despite what certain elements would also have you believe, this lackadaisical attitude towards dealing with hate speech and such online does cut both ways - the police aren't going to kick down your door for saying all trans people are sexual predators or whatever (with probably one or two exceptions just so people can roll them out and point at them gleefully) while ignoring racists. They're just going to ignore pretty much all of it all the time anyway. There's a lot! Just normally not riots.)

They need to make a point, basically, and need to make it clear that even if you didn't go out and, say, loot a Gregg's or burn a library or something else similarly patriotic, you're not going to be getting away with being a big ol' riot-organising, hatred-stoking racist.

Is that good or bad? I suppose that depends on how much you enjoy being a big fucking racist on the internet, but if you want to criticise the government - and I enjoy it, personally - you can still do that without ending up in jail so, I don't know, maybe put Orwell back in his box, eh? Maybe let's keep him in our back pocket until we need him, yeah?

Christ...

Oh and by the way, should there be consequences for lying? I don't know. Maybe? Depends on what your lying does! Nowadays it seems to be the bread and butter of a lot of people to just talk shit and then shrug and say well they didn't know any better. Was the attacker Muslim? Oh I don't know, so I'll just err on the side of the caution and say yes he was an an asylum seeker at that WHOOPSIE oh no a riot oh well not my fault my hands are clean oh and by the way we're being invaded.

Normally you'd probably get away with that! Not after a riot! Again! Context!

Argh.

And in a similar vein.

You're just wrong. The UK is not going to be sending out international goon squads to nab citizens of other countries who have been talking shit. We don't have time for that, we don't have the money for that.

(Also no-one is apolitical, don't be silly.)

And again, there's this notion that the merest mention of the riots is sufficient to attract governmental ire and, like, no, we'd never get anything done. And the very euphemistic 'discussing the people's demands within these riots' given that what that is gesturing vaguely towards is, you know, the racists.

The racists who rioted? The 'enough is enough' nazi-saluting, 'Are you white if not we'll drag you out your car' crowd? I wonder why discussing them might be bad? Could it be because the people who do that are also racists operating from the position that the riots were, if unfortunate (because they made them look bad), stemming from a legitimate source? So they tend to circulate the same lies that caused the fucking riots in the first place?

Well, 'caused'. Built the bonfire and set the kindling. You know what I mean. The people who bang on for years about 'invaders' and 'failure to integrate' and 'ooh er Muslims they're a bit shifty' and then are shocked - shocked! - when some people act on these statements! Shocked I say!

I'm veering off-course. It's been a long day.

In summation. No. You are wrong. You are all wrong and, in one instance, just a fucking racist.

The rioters were racists. They did not have a legitimate cause of concern or issue or any solutions or anything really at all. They were violent cunts out to be violent cunts and found a good reason to be violent cunts. They don't like Muslims, they don't like brown people, they tend to assume most brown people are Muslim, they like fucking shit up. They are not complex.

The swirling melange of things feeding into the riots? Maybe more complex. And by that I mean the years terrible rhetoric where immigrants and asylum seekers and Muslims are used as sticks to poke and prod an electorate having its life ruined by terrible policies and a world that's just generally getting worse.

See them? It's their fault! Don't look at us! It's their fault!

That parts sort of interesting. But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about racist, violent cunts. We're talking about people trying to set hotels on fire when people were inside. We're talking about people punching people in the face because they dared to be black and walk near them. We're talking about people on the internet spreading what they know are lies with the specific purpose of making things worse and intentionally triggering what they hope against hope is going to be a race riot, because that's their deal.

So yes, make all of the Keir Jong Un jokes you like. They're going to bang some rioters up, throw some online idiots in jail as an example to others, and then get back to the serious business of making all of our lives worse by cutting public services.

And stop, uh, being such credulous idiots. Basically.

Extraditing non-UK citizens indeed. Fucking listen to yourselves...

We're not America! Or Mossad.

[smol-grey-tea]

Have you ever struggled with jealousy cause of your maladaptive daydreaming? I'm struggling with jealousy against a real life celebrity from my hometown living my dream life. I never thought anyone from where I'm from would be famous. But now they are & living my dream creatively. Also this person is beautiful unlike me. I'm not as talented, chronically shy & don't meet beauty standards thus I wouldn't be successful in this career. Plus my deeply religious upbringing & people pleasing wouldn't allow me to try & join. I can't even tell my parents I'm an atheist. It sucks cause only two years ago I used to pray my maladaptive daydreams would come true somehow. I literally need to find a way to stop being jealous cause this celebrity is all over the internet. I either have to drop social media or find a way to mute this celebrity on all platforms. I live on the internet cause I have zero friends. It's my daydreaming haven. Or I could just try "exposure therapy" & read the posts while 'crying' in JEALOUSY. I tried talkspace, cause I was to embarrassed to tell a therapist in person. But unfortunately for me my therapist didn't consider maladaptive daydreaming or my jealousy a serious thing. But I get an upset stomach every time I see a post of this celebrity it sucks. I hate this feeling I want to be happy for people not jealous. Especially when I know I'll never ever live out my daydreams. Usually I use celebs as an inspiration I don't know why I can't do that with this celeb...

Hi! It seems you found my blog from a post I made back when my blog was about MaDD. I do still have MaDD, even if I no longer post about it, but it's definitely definitely much easier to handle now. I used to have to pace every single day for hours at a time, so much that I would even have to pace while I was on sleepovers with my friend and would have to delay leaving my house for multiple hours for the purpose of daydreaming and pacing

You sound like you are not only struggling with the amount of daydreaming and how much time it takes out of your day, but also how it affects you emotionally and your view of your own life and such. And I know, it does suck. I did the same thing as you; I did try to wish my daydreams into existence, and at the age of 14 I tried to escape my own reality, thinking it was a simulation, thanks to the voices I heard.. I know what it's like to be so unhappy in your own reality :(

And I know how bad it feels when people don't take your experiences seriously. I tried to seek help at sixth form and when I described my MaDD as an illness similar to OCD, the counselor completely ignored the daydreaming aspect and how it affects me entirely and only focused on the compulsiveness of the pacing I do whilst daydreaming. I felt like I wasn't being listened to so I completely gave up on that. Therapists should prioritise the patient and what they want to focus on, rather than what they think is right or wrong.

It quite wrecked my education and I practically failed cuz the urge to pace was so strong I couldn't study and had to do all homework the night before. It was quite hell. It sounds like you are going thru just that.

To help you with this, I think I'd have to know a bit more about your situation and how similar it may or may not have been to my own. I'm going to assume that you still live with your parents and may still be in some kind of education, so you might still be quite young? And I don't know what country you live in, so I'm not sure what the health services are like where you live. Either way, here's my experience:

After finishing education, I tried to get a job. I managed to get about 2 and a half days into the job before having to quit because of the panic on the job being too strong. Nothing much wrong with the job itself, my brain just felt like I physically couldn't/shouldn't be doing that job

When I told the job centre about why I quit, they urged me to go to the doctor about the anxiety. It took a long while, since I'd never been to the doctor on my own before, but I finally got an appointment

I spoke to a doctor about my experiences and I've been on sertraline ever since then. On sertraline, my urges to pace/daydream still occur, but much less often and to a much tamer degree. It's a lot easier to ignore (altho it has been a while since I've gone a day without pacing 😬 my longest streak was 4 days, but my mental health has plummeted since my nan's funeral in February, so I've not been making as much of an effort to reduce pacing.... Wait, does that mean it's been like 4 months???? God..)

I think this got slightly off topic since you were actually asking me about if I experienced jealousy. I don't think I've had that experience necessarily but I do definitely relate to the experience of desperately wanting, needing that life, even if it's not even an objectively good one..

It sounds like you feel like this because of not recognising your own potential tho. If this other person from your home town can achieve it, why can't you? Even if you feel shy, I think it's still worth it to work on your skills in your own time and privacy where you feel comfortable

If fame and love is where this need is coming from tho, perhaps you could try and find love in other ways instead of looking specifically for being a celebrity? Altho, having experienced your experiences, I understand that it's not all just about the feeling the daydream gives you, it's about being in that world specifically in real life, so I understand if that advice isn't exactly helpful to you

I don't know about your specific circumstances but I highly recommend starting medication if you haven't already. It doesn't work for everyone but it has done wonders for myself and if there's a chance that you can get the same success, then it is 1000% worth it just to try. I was scared of it taking away my daydreams, and while your brain gets used to the change in hormones, things do go haywire for a bit, but then it evens out really nicely and, in my experience, my daydreams have stayed intact at least til today, so you don't have to worry about that ❤

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have more questions. I do encourage asking myself and other MaDDers about their experiences, you'll get more help from them than from therapists imo. I don't want you to feel hopeless. I myself haven't experienced the jealousy but I am certain that you will find someone else who's had the exact same experience.

Please do not lose hope!!!! (*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ for reaching out!!!!!! There is an end to this hell, I promise you, it is out there. I know how hard it is, I promise. But it is possible to live with your daydreams and not have them make such a strong impact on your life ❤❤❤ you are worth it, please keep trying 😊 (*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ

[aerisleis-fics]

For the WIP asks: you know I love a good soulmate AU :D I'm curious about Sefikura because that one's not usual for you!

<3 so! the sefikura soul mates au has been talked about (briefly) but I'm happy to chatter about it again bc its weirdly. Stuck in my brain even tho it ISNT my usual. idk how long it's going to take to materialize bc I dont know Exactly how I want to bring it to life.

The basis is very generically "love doesn't solve everything, actually" in the general vein of, it doesn't take back the fact that the two may hurt each other, and it doesn't heal the wounds. Love is work, etc.

(the original notes passage was

Love doesn’t conquer all, actually. like. as a concept. but my brain will not hand me wtf it wants to Do with that but like just. I love you more than I love myself etcetc but this doesn’t fix us, it doesn’t get us out of the mess we’re in and like to clarify not even entirely in the. in the. “must be a bad ending” kind of way but in the, it takes more than loving someone to make it work. and I could go on about like. loving someone being a Choice not a feeling. a choice made every day to keep trying to keep working, etc.)

On less broad-philosophical view it's a combo of pain-sharing and first words soulmates, where the first words said Directly to a person by their soul mate is written on them and also they share pain. I imagine it's not uncommon for people - especially SOLDIER and/or Turks - to hide their soulmark, and in fact their uniforms are perfect for it if you go for a standard on the arm or really in most places on the body!

Yes, this does mean Cloud's young life was a nightmare thank you for asking (joking). Cloud wanted to become a soldier to become a hero, but also to travel and meet people... he didn't put a lot of stock in his soulmate, though he gets relatively unique words on him ("have you ever tried ginger for it?") so he's sure he'll Know when the time comes.

Sephiroth, on the other hand, barely noticed his soulmates pains, so assumes His must be a civvie tucked away somewhere, and due to the incredibly generic statement figures he'll never find out who they are ("no sir"). This changes, sort of, when Cloud and Zack are in the helicopter crash, but he kind of assumes it's zack. (he can't remember the first thing Zack said to him, but it wouldn't have shocked him if it was a no sir of some kind, honestly.) He doesn't say anything. They're good friends, their lives are on the line every day, there's no reason for him to ask for more.

Cloud finds out on the transport to nibelheim that it's sephiroth. Cloud, entrenched in his inferiority complex and the fact that they're literally on a mission keeps it to himself.

The moment Sephiroth realizes he was wrong about who his soulmate is the moment he impales Cloud on masamune during the massacre.

Canon ensues anyway, it's too late for the trajectory to change, after all.

But post canon, after AC, after DoC, Sephiroth returns, again. The future is unwritten for them - but what can they possibly cultivate in fields that have been flooded with blood over and over?

Oh. And this snippet you can have it too

Tifa, very upset and frustrated along the lines of “you can’t possibly forgive him- you can’t possibly expect us to forgive him! He killed so many people! He killed my soul mate right in front of you!” And Cloud is just. so tired. Before that there was a line - I wish I’d made notes but I was literally in bed asldx;kfj anyway a line about “I’m not asking you to forgive him. I’m just saying. I’m tired. And he isn’t doing anything wrong.” But anyway he just kind of sighs and “And I did nothing to stop it. I know, I was there.” “This isn’t about that-” “Of course it is!” “....I mean maybe I’m a little worried he’s influencing you again-”

[obstinatecondolement]

Having kind of a post-NaNoWriMo dip in mood re: the fic groove I have been in tbh. (mental illness and insecurity bullshit, mensturation mention cw)

I do still feel Very Strongly about the ideas I have and I do want to write them/continue working on them in the case of the two WIPs I started this week, but without the external structure of the event it's harder to thinking about sustaining that, especially given that I was making so many glaring mistakes that I feel looked very amateurish (I know it's an amateur hobby, but whatever, I expect very ridiculously high standards of myself in almost everything that I would never hold anyone else to and it's always crushing when I inevitably fail to meet them, lol).

The things I was getting wrong were mostly basic spelling errors, using the wrong word in common phrases that turned things into the uncanny valley of that phrase that didn't not make sense but weren't how anyone would say that particular thing naturally, accidentally flipping word order (or not rephrasing the rest of a sentence properly after copying and pasting things around, etc.), and just, like ... random gibberish typos that only became obvious to me after I posted, despite trying really hard to self edit myself carefully.

It's very difficult for me to have the focus to be able to do that sort of detail oriented task when things are in fast-brain mode. And, like, attention to detail is something I am typically very good at, so it's deeply embarrassing to me, especially in a new fandom where I'm creating a first impression.

And like, more generally I also feel like the shine has kind of gone off me and, I know that this is just my literal mental illness distorting my perception of Everything, but it feels like the fandom is already kind of over me because I'm too much. This is all very much a me problem and I don't think it's true or that anyone has treated me badly or done anything that would reasonably create this impression to a person who was not Going Through It (hence the read-more and, like, also: if you are a recent Ghosts follower you have done nothing wrong and have been nothing but nice to me and I don't want you to reassure me*, I'm just insane and I need to get a grip/have serious mental health issues and need to be better at distress tolerance and not being so insecure in how I'm perceived and prone to assuming that people are sick of me.

But, anyway, I think that part of this is just like... also pretty normal? Hypomanic episodes can last up to months, but usually they do fizzle out much sooner than that for most people most of the time, so I think that I just have kind of run out of steam and now I'm going low again having been pretty high for a sustained two-ish weeks and the very obvious external end of the line signal given by NaNo ending has kind of naturally triggered that downturn.

And I am like, speaking pretty approximately here? I think I probably have mixed episodes more than pure hypomanic episodes, for the most part? But, yeah, I don't know. I think the rollercoaster is coming out of a corkscrew and it's just going down now. Which, you know, does suck but it also won't last forever, so that is some comfort. I also still think I might be premenstrual, which does fuck with my head a lot, so, y'know. TL;DR, I'll be fine, but I am having a hard time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Like, genuinely, please don't. This is a Me problem and I think it would be bad both for me and for my relationships with others if I were to make the people around me feel that they had to constantly protect my feelings by showering me with attention and reassurance, or whatever. And also, like, I'd feel Very Bad if I thought other people felt guilted into doing that because I made a vent post about my irrational feelings that I know full well on an intellectual level are not reflecting an objective reality, because other people do not deserve to feel personally responsible for the bullshit my brain pulls on me.

[fandsart]

Heavy agree on the Nancy might fail as a reporter. Like we never really see her putting together an article we only see her investigate, we don't know if she can write. Also like you said it's more about her proving to be right than crafting a cohesive story or building a network. Her comment in s4 about actual reporters who work for a real paper was just so out of pocket. Like wdm those guys don't know their ass from their elbow, Nancy was fired because she violated work guidelines and they have much more work experience than her.

I'm gonna use this ask to also respond to this comment by @yxlenas because this isn't my main blog so I couldn't respond as my known self on that post

I don't think it came out of nowhere. In season 2, the whole point of that is to publicize it. I can see how that leads to the passion to keep that up. Especially learning from Murray about getting angles on the situation and how people will want to view it. It was all very investigative reporter

As for you nonnie, we can possibly assume that she can write because we see her critiquing Steve's essay, though I have seen people (who know what they're talking about) go over Steve's essay and be like "What is she talking about? That essay is fine" So maybe she doesn't actually know that much about formatting, or you could also argue that she just holds really high standards

Everyone working at the newspaper had more experience than her and know the kind of thing that's worth reporting and what people respond to. They know what they're doing, so of course they aren't going to respond to an issue that's been being covered up by the government for years. Nancy was only right about that for plot reasons, and there are reasons the actual reporters didn't look into that story

When these reasons are revealed to Nancy she acts like it's a complete injustice they didn't tell her about it, but they did already tell her to drop it. They shouldn't have needed to tell her more. Frankly, they shouldn't have even needed to tell her that much, because going after stories was not her job. Imagine being a security guard at an art museum but coming in every day with your own paintings and begging the curator to put them up. Like, girl, that's not your JOB

As for the things she says about them to Wayne I do think they were just basic reporter tactics. It's a competitive field so I kind of get it, and while Hawkins is small enough that there isn't much need for that, it also gives Nancy more opportunity to use them affectively, since the only other reporters in town wouldn't have pulled that manipulative shit, because they don't view her as competition. Because, another point, girl you work for a school newspaper. How much credibility do you think that really holds?

If she wants to be a reporter she needs to work on her people skills. I just imagine her meeting up with Murray again after season 4 and talking about her experiences with it, because he's an investigative journalist, which is very similar. And him just being like "Sweetheart, you are so dumb. You really flubbed your chances of being great during that internship."

[spiderfreedom]

Stop derailing discussions of misogyny

Saw a post on my 'for you' page that says that many experiences women have are also experienced by men. For example, that bald and fat men are body shamed, that black and gay men are afraid to walk at night, and so on. The message was that feminists are too short-sighted and should stop assuming women are special, because men can relate to many of these issues.

It brought me back to my first years learning about anti-racism. One of the main things that was drilled into everyone's heads was this: just because two groups of people appear to share a similar experience doesn't mean it is the same experience, and bringing this up when someone is talking about group A's experience is a derailing tactic.

It would be very common for someone to write about an issue faced by black people, like feeling weird for having people stare at your hair or skin, and then a white person would write that people also stare at their hair because they have fine blond hair and live in Japan, or that they're seven feet tall, so they know what it feels like to be on the outside.

There is nothing wrong with trying to empathize with other people's experiences. But there is something wrong with trying to equate them. Being a blond person in Japan and being manhandled or photograph is tedious, but it is not the same as racial ideologies surrounding black people's hair. Similarly, being gawked at for being very tall is certainly othering, but it is not accompanied by racial ideologies about your skin color and its 'exoticness' or 'inferiority.' Moreover, introducing this only distracts from the original topic, which is the ways in which black people are othered due to their race.

The same concept applies to misogyny. The post said that "fat men and bald men are also judged for their bodies!" Beauty standards for men and women, but they are far harsher on women than on men. Women are penalized more than men for failing to partake in beauty rituals. Women are told their worth is in their beauty. Men may naturally feel bad if they fail to meet beauty standards, but men are encouraged to find value in other achievements. This is especially clear when it comes to racialized beauty. Black women's appearance is policed more than black men's in the office, with black women's hair, bodies, jewelry, and makeup being subject to criticism for failing to meet professional standards. Black men's appearance is not policed to the same level as black women's. As such, it is the clear that the primary factor in beauty policing is one's female status. Bringing up fat and bald men serves to distract from this just like bringing up blond people in japan and seven foot tall men distracted from black othering.

The other one I remember was that "black men and gay men are also afraid to walk at night." This one is a little more complicated because black men may indeed feel afraid to walk certain places because of their race, and visibly gay men may feel afraid to walk certain places because of their (inferred) sexuality. But only women are afraid to walk certain places because of their femaleness, and that is what feminists bring up when we talk about how men aren't afraid to walk places.

Moreover, being afraid to walk alone or walk at night is an extremely common experience for women across race or class or sexuality. To the point that in places where everyone used the bus, women didn't go out to certain night events because they were afraid to wait for the bus in the dark. I've never known a black man or a gay man to not take the bus at night because they were afraid they would be subject to racial or homophobic violence at a bus stop. The situations are more circumscribed - black men report feeling unsafe and worried walking through neighborhoods where there are a lot of white people (where they could be falsely reported for crime) or through neighborhoods with a lot of crime (because they may be taken for a sucker if they walk around with their head in the clouds). Similarly, gay men know there are areas with higher rates of homophobic violence, countries they may not visit, or that they may not be able to appear in public with their boyfriends/husbands. But - notice how different this is to the woman's experience, because there are no neighborhoods she has to avoid or behaviors she has to avoid, it is the entire night, it is the possibility that you will be treated as prey because you are alone.

So yes, black and gay men have limited freedom of mobility compared to white straight men, but it's clear that the reasons for this are very different from what women experience, and that the limits on their mobility are not the same as what women go through. And to be real, I've never heard a black man or a gay man say that he felt he had missed out on opportunities in life because he was afraid to take the last train home, or that night was coming and it wasn't safe for him. I see black men out on the street at night all the time, coming home from public transit, or just hanging about. I see far fewer black women walking in public. Racism affects both, but sexism/misogynoir further curtails the freedom of the black woman. (We can even talk more about how black women are often forced into unsafe situations like walking alone at night because they are forced into taking the worst jobs to make ends meet. But that's another post.)

We should be aware of how racism and homophobia impact everyone, including men, but to bring up racism against black men and homophobia against gay men to claim that "it's not just women who are afraid" is nothing but a way to derail the conversation away from what women go through and downplay misogyny. It also compares an assumed white straight woman with black men and gay men, instead of making a comparison of black men with black women, or gay men and gay women, which ironically erases the racism and homophobia they experience on top of misogyny.

Downplaying misogyny isn't "intersectionality", it's derailing.

[undying-lilies]

This might be a weird thing to ask, but will you tell me about some of your favorite non-canon OTPs (as mentioned on your Valentine's Day post), and your headcanons about them?

girl that's not weird at all!! I would be THRILLED to share them :D

one thing about my non-canon OTPs is that they are so non-canon, in fact, that it's impossible for them to ever BE canon. I mean they both involve a character that literally has one scene and little to no lines. neither of these couples have ever even met on-screen and they probably never will, but is that gonna stop me? absolutely not

first off, let me introduce you to the gloriousness that is Jacen Syndulla and Paige Tico

(Paige Tico is Rose Tico's sister from The Last Jedi who sacrificed herself by blowing up her ship for the rebellion, but we're going to ignore that last bit for ultimate fluff purposes and also because on this blog we ignore every character death ever)

their ship name is Paicen

they meet in a marketplace on Lothal

Paige and Rose are looking for an important ship part because their ship broke down, but it's hard to find and they're getting frustrated. so the first time Jacen sees Paige is when she's yelling at someone for not having the part they need

and he thinks

that is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life

so, in true Kanan fashion, he goes over to Paige and tells her very smoothly that he'd be very happy to fix up her ship for her because what a coincidence, he just so happens to be a mechanic! but Paige, oh boy Paige, she takes this the wrong way and starts yelling at HIM for being a hotshot pilot and she can do it herself, thank you very much, and if he doesn't know how to find a chip for a standard nav reader then he should GET LOST

and, also in true Kanan fashion, Jacen has two thoughts:

A) I think I'm in love with you

B) oh no I messed up

he apologizes for assuming that she needed help and Paige just stares because ... she wasn't expecting an apology. this guy is definitely not who she thought he was. they get on the same page, they laugh it off and introduce themselves and exchange contact information and eventually go on a date (which is very successful)

they're like the next-generation version of Kanera: just very lovey dovey and sweet and in love with each other

Jacen brings Paige flowers all the time (and roses for Rose because he's a gentleman)

a silly headcanon I have is that when Jacen turned 16 he turned into a "heartthrob" and suddenly ALL the girls were falling over themselves to get him to notice them ... he doesn't even have to do anything, he just walks into the room and they all swoon. the only girl who didn't swoon immediately was Paige 😌

when I was first obsessed with them like two years ago, way before the Ahsoka show aired, both Jacen and Paige had only one (1) canon scene and little-to-no lines. and I was like, well that clearly means they're soulmates. they're perfect for each other

now let me introduce you to my other favorite non-canon OTP: Crosshair and Bultar Swan

(Bultar Swan is canonically Plo Koon's padawan - yes he did have a padawan, you're welcome - and she's in the Battle of Geonosis in Attack of the Clones! and also she doesn't have much of a canon personality, so for the sake of ultimate fluff once again, we're going to say that she's similar to Luna Lovegood & spaces out a lot & is also very connected to the Force. just a very traditional Jedi)

THEIR ship name is Sniper Swan

Paicen was love at first sight? These two are a slowburn. A really, really, really slow slowburn

they first meet in the Clone Wars, but there's nothing particularly special about it. Bultar goes on a couple missions with the Bad Batch and they work well together. she and Crosshair make a good team in battle. it's all business-like and on friendly terms

Bultar is a very peaceful person - she doesn't use her lightsaber a lot, and she prefers to talk things through before resorting to extreme things like violence. she genuinely respects all the clones and thinks of them as people, just like her

Crosshair sees this, because he sees a lot of things with his enhanced vision, and he doesn't understand it. he tries to poke and prod at her to try and get her to crack, to snap back at him like other Jedi might, but she doesn't. she takes all of his cutting and snide remarks with patience and calmness and eventually he mirrors the patience back. he can ask her questions that normally others would start an argument with him over it, whereas she just gives him a realistic logical answer

they know each other for years before they even think about catching feelings for each other as a possibility

depending on the timeline - canon, No-Order-66 AU, Adoption Magnet even (👀) - they get together in different ways

but it usually goes something like this: after years of knowing each other, Crosshair starts catching feelings for her - and of course because it's Crosshair it takes him a long time to admit that, even just to himself - while Bultar is as oblivious as Adrien Agreste when it comes to Marinette. she has no clue until someone (either Wolffe or her own clone captain) tells her about it and warns her to stay away from Crosshair for her own good

poor Bultar who's been raised in the Jedi Temple her entire life has no idea what to do with this information - people are capable of falling in love with her? she's capable of falling in love? - so she has a bit of a mental crisis

she takes some time to think through everything, carefully process her thoughts and emotions and feelings - and when she has successfully done so, she's surprised to find that she ... does, actually, like Crosshair back

it still takes them a bit to get together but all things considering, it's MUCH much shorter than the other stages of their relationship XD

Crosshair keeps Bultar grounded in the moment and Bultar helps Crosshair be more comfortable with showing emotions and being vulnerable <3

man that got long XD technically I have one more I invented - Korkie Kenobi Kryze and Soniee, one of his classmates from that one Clone Wars arc - but I don't have nearly as many headcanons for those two lol. Hope you enjoyed getting to hear about my non-canon OTPs!! (I know I had a great time typing this all out hehe)

[ewebie]

fic writer asks

(thanks to @ficwip for this question list)

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again? So, in The Hayloft, there is a great deal of french. Because the chapters were significantly long, I didn't like the idea of ONLY having the translations at the end of the chapter. I went through and did hover text for all the french. It was an adventure, and from time to time, I made mistakes with the HTML coding. But I would do it again, because it is a great way to keep from needing to scroll to the end of a chapter.

How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!) 26... crap. (I did post 12 - 7 stand alones and 5 shorts)

What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? I *can* actually stick to a posting schedule. I did 38 straight weeks of posting on a schedule.

What piece of media inspired you the most? Given the ship I write... you'd assume BBC Sherlock. But probably the information about eco-farming and the actual farm that inspired Hayloft is likely the one.

What fandom(s) did you write for this year? Only BBC Sherlock - only Mystrade (this year)

What ship(s) captured your heart? Ok, so... I read a much wider than I write. At the moment, I'm only writing Mystrade. But I read Aziraphael/Crowley, Merthur, Bilbo/Thorin, Steve/Bucky... (oh no, do I have a type?)

What character(s) captured your heart? Farmer Greg. Look... just read it, you'll understand.

Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year? Nope... I am cemented in my little space.

What fic meant the most to you to write? Hayloft.

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? All the little shorts I added to Safety First. It was great to just... dip into something not soft or good and get those feels out.

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? Hayloft. It took me almost 2 years to write and post.

What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it? FUCKING Hayloft. And I did. >70k, 38 chapters, 3 languages, HTML coding, 2 betas...

What fic was the easiest to write? Probably L is for Line of Sight (in the Safety First shorts). It literally spilled out of me in about an hour.

What were your shortest and longest fics this year? Shortest is I is for Industry Standards (in the Safety First shorts) only 781 words. Longest is Hayloft, >70k words.

Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023 Mistakes were made - written for the Mystrade is Family and based on a silly tiktok. It's short, sweet, and fun.

What were you go-to writing songs? So, I have a writing playlist that is lyricless songs. Like... We Move Lightly by Dustin O'Halloran.

What were your go-to writing snacks? I try not to snack while I write. I do drink coffee... probably TOO much.

What was the hardest fic to title? Probably the Safety First shorts... I bounced between a few options for each letter before settling on them.

Share your favorite opening line It was a longstanding debate in their family, one that was never fully settled. Either she or he had been a mistake… Maybe they both were. A pair of ‘happy accidents.’

Share your favorite ending line They’d both have to help with the meal preparation tomorrow. The honest truth of the world, the time and season for everything under the sun. Rain or shine, there was work to do. And he would do it. Qui vivra verra... But Greg wasn’t doing it alone… Not anymore.

Share your favorite piece of dialogue “Christ, where did you find that guy?” Mycroft gave a tight smile. “Given the number of associates you elected to bring to this meeting, I hardly think that is any of your concern.” The administrator gave Lestrade a cautious glance. Lestrade grinned menacingly, “Woof.”

Share an excerpt from your favorite scene “They were slamming doors. And I… Just…” “Mmn.” Where Charlie had entered his teen years with the fiery temper of someone whose emotions had grown faster than their ability to control them, Henry was far more introspective and contained. It would have to have been loud to drive him outside. “Do we know what the fight is about?” Henry sighed and Mycroft couldn’t help the small twitch of a smile. Where Henry’s face was a map of his dad’s emotive features, his quieter mannerisms were manifestations of Mycroft’s own. It was both edifying and amusing, however serious the expression was. “Is that ‘no’?”

Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out? “I know you enjoy a bit of mess, Darling, but I think we can both agree that – whatever that was just now – you are discovering novel and dramatic frontiers of mayhem.” Lestrade snorted, not sounding at all contrite. “You’re the brains of the operation here, Gorgeous.” That was absolutely absurd. “You cannot possibly hold me accountable for the incendiary device in th-” Mew Mycroft blinked, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. “Did you just meow at me?” “Wasn’t me.” Mycroft risked glaring at Lestrade. “What on Earth is that?!” Lestrade grinned as Mycroft tore his eyes away and back to the road. “It’s a kitten.” “I know it’s a kitten!” Mycroft snapped. Mew “Then why did you ask?” I struggled with this because it's a 3-way dialogue but not. And I wanted it to be sharp, snappy, and a bit sarcastic, but also... a kitten. I am happy with how it turned out, but I went over the section a large number of times.

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? Sometimes, my characters just won't do what I NEED them to do. And every once in a while, that means the story changes.

What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.) I write on my laptop in g-docs.

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? Finishing Hayloft.

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? I got myself a nice bottle of wine... french wine.

How did you recharge between fics? I switch media. Catch up on my reading, podcasts, shows.

If this were an awards show, who would you thank? So many people. The Asylum for being a constant source of inspiration. @paialovespie for the rabid bunnies. The MRC for the chaos. @stlgeekgirl for the enthusiastic betas. Everyone who reads and comments... the true heroes.

What’s something that you want to write in 2024? I want/need to finish Marshmallow Experiment. And I want to finish Lesser Things.

[yandere-kittee]

Okay.. I may or may not already like Aiko… BUT OTHERWISEE I’d like to request one with her with a very Smart reader like as smart as her. But they aren’t interested in knowing them or becoming friends or dating since they’re focusing on their studies. So I’d want to see that type of relationship like enemies, one sided love, etc.. like they might compete who gets top score on the new test type of stuff or if she falls in love with smart reader

Eeeee I love this so much! I've been having an enemies to livers idea forming in my head and this was just the motivation I just needed ٩( ᐛ )و

Enchanted to meet you.

I had mentioned before that Aiko looks for a smart person for a significant other, and it's a bonus if you manage to fit into her high standards, her Mom raised no one who settles for less.

She knows her worth and knows she deserves someone who is just as smart as her, but not more because she should always be the one to be at the top of her class and school.

Well, that was before you came.

You transferred from your school to hers (Which as a private Institute and is very prestigious. ) You we're only a year younger than her and was in the same level and class. (In this case you were like the youngest in the class.)

She didn't mind you at all, since you weren't exactly interesting looking or someone who will be a threat to her grades, so she didn't care nor did she glance your way.

But during the test the teacher had told you, you didn't need to take the test at the moment since you had but transferred and try didn't know if you knew about the topic the quiz was based on, but you declined and said that you were actually fine and took the test.

Aiko thought you we're stupid because she assumed you only took the test because you didn't want to be left out in the test.

But when the results came in, she thought you would fail of the sort but, when it came to announcing about those who got the perfect score, she wasn't alone.

The teacher had congratulated you as she anded you your paper, the class clapped for you, cheering for you and such.

She's never had that sort of reaction before.

The students didn't like her since she was a 'bitch' and a know it all, unlike you who actually got along with others, for the first time in her life, Aiko had felt, threatened.

She now had someone who was a worthy opponent.

Aiko will fight you with all that she has, motivating her to study more just to be at too while you we're under her, though it didn't help when both of you were the only ones getting perfect scores.

But only one will remain number one.

Aiko did not let it show when card giving came and the Honor's list were to be announced.

Aiko glared at you when your name was announced and the class erupted in cheers when you walked up to the front of the class to receive your certificate of honors.

Overall, the relationship you two have is complicated but to describe it in simpler terms it's Academic Rivals to Friends? Lovers? Who knows, the both of you graduated before she could confess to you.

Academic Rivals where Aiko only saw you as her rival that she has feelings for while you thought of her as the cute smart girl in your class.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

That is all! I hope you liked this because this request took a little longer than others but glad I was able to post it now!

Follow me for more Yandere content! More posts to come since I have about 2-3 requests? That I still have to do. Don't be afraid to drop by my ask box and request me.

Requests are open!

[arcxnumvitae]

Well, this certainly didn't seem like a realm on the verge of destruction, or apocalypse, or whatever such nonsense.

Unsurprisingly.

Dual toned eyes rolled in exasperation as the god strolled Seelie's main street. Obviously everything was fine, so he could just go back, but...something kept him from doing so, despite his exasperation. Perhaps because he had never actually seen Shilo quite that shaken up before. Not since...

...Well, regardless. He was curious as to why the aquatic nuisance suddenly couldn't access Seelie. Might as well see what he could learn.

"Excuse me, good sir? Could you tell me, by chance, if His Majesty Camhlaidh is available at present? I am Kolya, patron deity of the realms Ivasso and Malusso. If it helps, you may assure him that my business here is intended to be brief, so I would not be taking up any significant amount of his time."

@soulsxng || Unprompted! ... :(

The weather had become unseasonably cool in Seelie as of late, evidenced as the thicker armor worn by the guards posted at the gate of the castle. More and more odd denizens had been seen around the castle town thanks no doubt to Seelie reaching out towards other nations. 'Odd' by fae standards at least.

That was why when one such being stepped up towards them, asking for an audience and claiming to be a deity, the guards' expressions lightened with amusement, though they seemed to tense once they noticed the other's dual-toned eyes.

"The last time I checked, the king is not available to meet with any person from the street expecting an audience."

Just as the second guard opened her mouth, likely to shoo the stranger away, another voice called out.

"Oh there you are!"

Looking just beyond the stranger, the guards both suddenly stiffened and lowered their head into a formal bow. "Lady Deòireach!!"

An arm came to rest across Kolya's shoulder as Eilidh grinned at him, seemingly having just come up from the path behind on her own way into the palace. "It's been such a long time since I saw you last! I assume you are here about that meeting with the king? Are these guards creating an issue for you?"

Eilidh's galaxy-filled eyes glimmered at the guards with threatening mirth. "This person is my honored guest. Would you have me break the rules of hospitality by leaving my guest out in the cold?"

The guards rushed to bow again, and in one smooth movement the first signaled to a third to pull open the gate. "Our deepest apologies, Your Grace, that was not at all our intention!"

Her hand slid down her new companion's arm to wrap around his wrist, tugging him behind her as she flounced through the gate. "No problem! And thanks!" Stepping onto the path leading to the entrance of the palace. Tugging her cloak more tightly about her, she turned and smiled at the stranger.

"Are you really a deity? Why do you want to see Camhlaidh? What's your business with him?

[fatterpussycat-kill-kill]

First and foremost thank you so much for openly sharing your thoughts about fat and feederism on here. I was browsing around Tumblr today and stumbled upon your place and several of the things you say you hit spot on, also about being into feederism long before you know it's a thing and then finally discovering that there's a whole world of it out there. Your post about being hypersexual caught my attention as you said "thank you childhood neglect" in connection with that. The thing is...I chat on Omegle and meet all sorts of people, some of them fairly young. I talk to all ages and always treat them with respect and am only friendly. One was VERY young and badly in need for a friend that didn't want to take advantage of her. Parental neglect, mentally ill mom, home schooling, and the thing is... She is indeed hypersexual. Please read on because I simply listen to her thoughts and try to give her advice so her actions due to her hypersexuality will not bring her into trouble. I would never take advantage of young person. It's a report for her to talk to someone who does not judge nor try to take advantage of her and it's saddening to hear how few of those people she has met online that want good for her. My question to you is... If you at such a young age had met someone online who was much older than you and could have been your parent, someone who actually cared for you as a friend and a person and only wanted good for you... What would you have wanted or needed that person to do for you... To say... To advise you to do. I'm in a different country than her so all I can do is to talk to her and guide her really.

Thanks in advance. My deepest respect to you!

Wonderful question. What I’d really want would be some positive encouragement, acknowledgment that my feelings are valued, having my boundaries respected, being able to feel comfortable even if I don’t live up to arbitrary and highly competitive standards, being told it’s ok to fail sometimes as long as you tried your best, being told that academic achievement isn’t everything. Having my efforts appreciated, being listened to and understood, and having my opinion respected regardless of my age/not having it assumed that older people are automatically right. Basically unconditional love and support. No gaslighting, no continuous body shaming, no more feeling that I don’t measure up to some made up ideal or being compared negatively to my peers. No threatening me with losing my home if I don’t obey the rules. There’s more but you get the drift.