#i am. so tired. of being sick
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having a breakdown because i’m severely depressed and i have been so stressed lately and i am so fucking sick of constantly feeling like shit and death and exhausted and miserable
#kayleigh.txt#and my family doesn’t understand because they’re all ignorant conservative republicans#and i am not visibly ill so clearly it’s all in my head obviously#i am. so tired. of being sick#i wish i had a functioning immune system and a brain that wasn’t a toxic piece of shit#but yeah we are getting another severe windstorm like tuesday night but also with sleet and lake effect snow tonight#so i have been panicking about that since yesterday lmfao#sorry i don’t want to go sit in an er where covid and the flu are running rampant#just so my dad can get seen and tested to get antibiotics for what is likely a uti or something#he isn’t in any pain or discomfort (at least not that he told me) so i am honestly not super worried about it#i’d have to drive 30+ minutes there and wait forever and then drive 30+ minutes back in a blizzard with 40–60mph winds#i need to be HERE at HOME because if the power goes off i need to be immediately ready to make sure the reptiles are kept warm enough#idk my sister is furious with me and so is my father probably but i have been awake since 7am#and couldn’t fall asleep until 3am#and i am. so tired. and i already barely managed to get up and shower and eat one (1) tiny meal so i could take my meds
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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"Nora doesn't know anything about the things she writes about" "aftg is terrible queer rep" "the queer characters in aftg are so problematic"
Idk guys maybe the book series abt problematic ppl set in 2006 and written in the mid 2010s shouldn't be expected to hold up against scrutiny of what we consider to be moral and correct now, in 2024
Idk tho, idk
#“nicky is a terrible person” bitch he not supposed to be some kind of perfect angel is he????#sry to burst ur bubble but gay men are actually capable of being horrible people just as much as straight men#“death of the author” how abt death of you#instigated by me#nora sakavic#aftg#all for the game#aftg hot takes#nicky hemmick#andrew minyard#kevin day#neil josten#nora knew exactly what she was doing and i will die on this hill#i am so so sick and tired of peoe acting like shes some sort of incompetent idiot who barely scraped together a plot#you do not have to stay in the fandom if you don't actually like the media#you can leave i promise#we dont really want you here
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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I'm unsure if it's a good scenario or not but it's something I've been thinking of kamski fucking with the water in Connor's tank could be using a different chlorine or salt level or something and it causes him to get allergic stuffy runny gills and red nose lots of sneezing but Connor tries to hide the symptoms from Hank
fever
#dbh#detroit being human#hankcon#lab merman au#connor#hank#dbh connor#detroit become human connor#dbh hank#detroit become human hank#dbh Cole#ft. the Dad method of measuring temperature#hank x connor#glass art#noodle art#honestly just an excuse to commiserate and draw Connor sick because. I am so tired of illness and injury rn lol#shout out to everyone who’s sick and/or feeling poorly rn I’m putting a cool and comforting palm on ur forehead
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okay everyone here’s my pitch for season 16…….. LET DEAN BE FUCKING HAPPY
#honestly I am sick and tired of watching him suffer#there are maybe a total of 7 episodes in which he is happy and that’s me being generous#so yeah that’s my radical take. let him be happy.#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#jensen ackles#jared padalecki#misha collins#season 16#spn revival
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I think the very worst thing about being this sick and in being this much pain is just the bone deep exhaustion I feel
I want to connect with the world and it's like trying to touch the sky when you're lying at the bottom of a well. I can reach my arm all the way up as long as it will go and I can't touch anything I'm too far down and I can barely even see it from where I am and there's no way I can reach it at all
#and I'm so tired I'm so so tired I can barely feel the anger and the terror I'm so angry and I'm so scared and I'm so tired of being#like this#I want it to be a different way I want to be a whole person#and I don't even have the wherewithal to feel that I can feel it but I can't feel it all the way because I can't feel anything#I can't feel anything all the way there's something wrong with me there's something inside me that's just wrong#sick#i feel like maybe i am dying.
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Holy shit if you dont want to see owl videos simply change your url
let me ask you something, anon.
Do you think if someone’s url had “dog-videos” in it that would mean they enjoy being sent videos of dogs being beaten or getting hyperthermia in hot cars? Do you think they would take it as a genuine “hey I’m worried about whether this is ethical or not” when the video they send in is a dog getting pinned down by a lion?
People who like and work with animals generally don’t enjoy being sent videos of animal abuse for no reason. A little owl being licked by a house cat, aside from being a video I have rated numerous times over the years, is a bit hard for me to believe is a genuine question on ethics. I can only say so many times that feline saliva is toxic to birds and I can only say so many times that owls don’t like to be touched in most cases.
Any video with an owl interacting with a cat is unethical.
Any video with an owl in an obvious pet situation is unethical.
I cannot make that any clearer, if you don’t know anything about owls, may I recommend checking my “rated: cute” and “rated: not cute” tags. I have recommended tags set up on the search bar for this blog for a reason.
#owlvid weighs in#‘But you’re the owl video blog why don’t you like my video of animal abuse >:(‘#be normal#find a video that isn’t blatantly abusive. find something dubious. I’m tired of reiterating the obvious.#Worth noting as well there are weirdos who send me videos/images/gifs of owls being harmed or abused#as a form of anon hate#whenever there are enough weirdos upset at me for whatever arbitrary reason#so as you can imagine I am a bit sick of them
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no but actually. the parallels to other Twins in different nations of teyvat in relation to the traveler and their desire to reunite with their own sibling makes me a little bit bonkers. like.
diluc and kaeya as what the traveler has and fears, after we will be reunited [separation born from conflict that seemingly cannot be mended; they both care for each other but ultimately their opposing ideals mean they cannot be at each other's side in the same way that they used to, and no longer have the close bond they once did]
ei and makoto as what the abyss sibling experienced [a crushing loss not just of one's twin but the last remaining friend they had and the safety and security of their nation, coming out the other side traumatized, cold and jaded and making decisions that will ultimately hurt the people they claim to want to protect for the sake of an unattainable goal]
and lyney and lynette as what the traveler and the abyss twin used to have before they were separated [never apart for long, home is wherever we are together], what the traveler wants [their separation brief and quickly amended, continuing to be inseparable after they reunite], and also the choice they'll have to make [the twins being together in an organization the traveler inherently doesn't trust - does the traveler want to be by their sibling's side badly enough to throw their lot in with the abyss, and turn their back on everyone else they've met on their journey so far?]
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#RIPS AND TEARS.#hi . feeling so normal btw#i was thinking so so so so hard about the traveler twins when ei's second story quest dropped#and i am constantly sick in the head about the traveler being tired of the ragbros nonsense communication#and THEN in fontaine the traveler having to watch these two twins who are incredibly close.#and try not to think about what they've lost#i'm. uuaauguugh#LIKE#the traveler and the abyss twin really are what the fontaine twins could be if either of them lost the other.#at the end of his story quest lyney talks about how both of them give each other strength to get through the darkest days#and how darkness never consumes him because he has his sister and they remember the good things together [punches the ground]#also lyney and lynette losing their trust in people early on and having to lie to everyone around them#and getting the companionship that kaeya never got in his childhood. cries#like he had his twin!!! he had his brother!!! but he had to lie to him for years and never felt truly understood until that night#and AUUUGH the running theme of one twin being Light and the other being Dark#one always brightly engaging with people while the other deals with matters from the shadows#and the brothers flipping that on its head when diluc returns to mondstadt - diluc in the shadows and kaeya with the knights#and ei getting someone who will be her shadow so she can finally step into the light herself and see the world with her own eyes.#just AUUGUUGHGH. i'm fine. i'm normal#this is incoherent maybe but augh. augh. siblings.#[looking back at the earth] wait the game is about family? always has been
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Does anyone else find it sort of upsetting how widely popular House M.D. has seemingly become in online queer spaces with how violently acephobic and intersexist it is? Like, I don’t want to pretend that it’s only queerphobic towards aces and intersex people, because the show definitely engages in its fair share of early-2000s-typical casual transphobic and homophobic language, and I do think it’s pretty biphobic that, from what I remember of the show, they made 13 (the one canonically bisexual character) a promiscuous party girl tm.
But the show is extremely vitriolic towards intersex and asexual people, and I wish that the people who treat it like a haha funny toxic yaoi show would at least fucking acknowledge that. The show actively reinforces the ideas about intersex bodies which are used to justify the nonconsensual mutilation of intersex children. And the way the show treats asexuality is abysmal. I saw someone on here once say that it’s “funny” that House is canonically aphobic, as if it’s just a joke that the House episode about asexuality actively supports the idea that asexuals are all either liars or medically unwell and in need of “fixing”. Why is pro-conversion therapy rhetoric suddenly funny when it’s directed towards us?
I’m not saying that no one is allowed to enjoy the show at all. Hell, I used to really enjoy it too, at least before I got to the asexuality episode (shortly after finding out I’m ace and before I had ever seen even a single other representation of asexuality in mainstream media). But like. Can people at least stop outright ignoring the absolutely detrimental effects this show had on the ace community and the intersex community?
#personal#ace#asexual#cw acephobia#it was a popular show! a lot of people who didn’t know asexuality even exists learned about it through this show that told them we need#to have our asexuality “cured” by a medical professional#I’m so so fucking sick of seeing others in the queer community treat acephobia as a lesser form of queerphobia#and we especially need to be doing better for the intersex community too because I am tired of#seeing other lgbtq folks throw intersex ppl under the bus whenever it’s convenient#(only to turn around and use intersex people as a gotcha against exorsexism)#not aroposting#I’m sure there’s also a lot more offensive shit in the show that I’ve forgotten because I haven’t watched it in a very long time#there’s definitely more that can be said about the intersexism in the show but I don’t know how to articulate that as well#someone who is actually a part of the intersex community could probably put it way better than I can#but hell. that incredibly intersexist episode was how I learned that being intersex is even a thing and I’m sure I am not the only one#I know more about the effects on the ace community (for obvious reasons) which is why I’m taking a bit more about that here but#I can’t even imagine how damaging House was (and still is!) to the intersex community
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And if I started unfollowing and blockin creators that post exclusively white people and artists that only draw white people or like the palest of asians then what.
#I saw those fucking election results#@ 92% of black american women you are so real and I am so sorry#the rest of y'all who voted red or sat shit out can go get fucked by a broomstick#I am tired of being nice you people make me sick#sincerely signed - a black person
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"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit
#i dont even KNOW what comship means man#but im so tired of reading every instance of this under the sun with every post about selfshipping#like you realize a good CHUNK of the selfshipping community is going to BE them because they're already otherwise normally ostracized from#their communities for other reasons including being neurodivergent.#they deserve comfort too good lord shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou “i'm better than you” attitude you're really fucking not and#frankly i'm more suspicious of people like you having something to hide about what they like and dislike#i'm neither pro nor anti nor neutral i'm just a human fucking being that stopped giving a shit about stuff that truly does not matter and#won't affect me in the long run. i'm an adult with more serious things to worry about.#it's like seeing the damn “dni” banners everywhere You Are Annoying.#also it's not like i like anything particularly 'heinous' anyways or pedophilic and i shouldn't need to clarify this but apparently i do!#i'm just sick of this purity culture bullshit i REALLY am#whether u want to hear this or not it is queerphobic and ableist. do u understand? cool.#proship#comship#f/o#selfship#selfshipping
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Hello tumblrinas I am sorry for the lack of updates here but I have been recovering from Covid for the last 2 weeks. I am not sure when I'll be able to get back to comics proper However in the meantime if you are so inclined, one of my FC members does streaming and I just dragged them and some others through potd floors 50-90. I know some people enjoyed the comics i make about the FC gang so I thought maybe you would accept this instead of comics as I recover. (Also like if you enjoy the content give my friend a follow they're great)
Edit idk why the link seems to be broken i'll post it in the comments too hopefully that works lmao
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i hate you diet culture i hate you body competitions i hate you extreme workout culture i hate you body shaming i hate you unhealthy expectations for how bodies should look i hate you culture that promotes starving i hate you unrealistic body images i h
#rin rants#rin rambles#tw eating disorder#tw diet#I AM SO FUCKING SICK. AND TIRED. OF THIS BULLSHIT#i am FINALLY at a healthy weight and body fat percentage after YEARS of being underweight to the point of my menstrual cycle being fucked#and WHAT AM I SEEING? DONT EAT CARBS DONT EAT SUGAR YOU WANT AN ITTY BUTTY WAIST SO THE GUYS WILL GRAB IT#WHAT IF I GRAB YOU BY THE NECK AND FUCKING THROTTLE YOU OKAY#WOMEN. LADIES. YOU NEED FAT. WE ALL NEED FAT ON OUR BODIES#I AM BITING AND KILLING AND MAIMING AND GNAWING AND TEARING THE DIET CULTURE FOR YOU
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Your election post was the most holier-than-thou, performative, bullshit I’ve ever read. Get a grip and get some self awareness.
i will take "missed the entire point" for 500, alex
#y'all abstainers and third party voters are gonna have so much blood on your hands if this goes sideways#and a lot of that blood will be that of palestinians#but please go ahead and ignore all logic#so over it dude#tired of being nice election day is half over anyway#if you abstained or voted third party#you did the wrong thing#you did a bad thing#hope the moral high ground was worth it bud#perceived moral high ground i should say#all it actually is is selfish performative bullshit#and i am sick to fucking death of explaining why#when trans people are criminalized for existing#when palestine is flattened into nothing but debris#when people with uteruses are forced into pregnancy#and criminalized for miscarriages or still births#when lgbt protections are repealed#when every criminal in office gets a pardon#when education falls apart#when healthcare gets even worse#when our allies turn against us#when we get involved in international conflicts we have no business in#when people die#i hope you remember today and the choices you made#and i hope you never get rid of your guilt#if he wins and the world falls apart i hope you feel the weight of your mistake until the day you fucking die#you make it so hard to believe in the good in people#and i am so tired#diz says stuff
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people can give as much flak as they want to eldest siblings but they'll never understand how it feels to be your parent parents
#they think you're an extension of them so they need you to step up always you should be the taking care of everything because#what's the point of being the older one if you're not taking responsibility & when you do that you feel like you're in a position to#point out their flaws too but if you do so they get so defensive they'll argue to hell & back instead of accepting their own mistake &#you'll have to step down lest you say something remotely rude and suddenly become the worst person ever to exist#who does not care about anyone except themselves#i am so tired. i am not trying to attack you. stop getting so defensive i am just pointing out that your priority should be your child not#anyone or anything else specially when they're so sick please can you listen to me once
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