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loudblonde · 1 year ago

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Simon "Ghost" Riley x Male!Reader Mafia AU (chapter 19)

18+ Minor DNI

Summery: As (Y/N) and Simon get closer and closer, their relationship shifts to a new directon, a different one. No longer just some low life bodyguard and the son of the boss, but now a partnership build on mutual trust and protection. Lines are blurred and new alliances are forged even stronger.

Warnings(contains spoilers, but that is obvious): (Y/N) has some complicated feelings that if you have been a victim of emotional abuse and emotional neglect may be a bit hard to read about. Essentially (Y/N) realises he is capable of love and deserving of happiness

AN: I meant to have this out wayyyyyyyy earlier, as in last week but my engagement of 3 years ended, so sorry, I have just been too disraught, sad and pissed off to even consider writing this finished, somehow (Y/N) and Simon being so happy together was painful. I guess the fanfiction writer curse strikes again....

Word count: 3.2K

(Y/N) stared down at the sleeping Simon. He looked peaceful… no, he looked young and peaceful. No nightmares plagued his mind behind the eyelids, no anxiety was freezing his core and no doubt was tending the already huge garden of doubt flowers that grew in his mind.

(Y/N) smiled as he ran a hand through Simon’s hair, for once with care instead of possession. He had started to like Simon, no, he hadn’t lied to Simon earlier in the week. He loved him. He… loved… him. The thought was foreign to (Y/N), he didn’t know how that had happened or how Simon had wormed his way into his heart, yet here he was, warming up something that (Y/N) had forgotten he had. He felt odd. He was simultaneously on a cloud and in the deepest pits of hell, the last few weeks had been like descending into hell, every single layer worse than the other.

He felt a lot like Dante, forced to descend into hell only to learn how to love and have compassion. The thought left a grim taste in his mouth as he realised he may eventually feel bad for his actions. (Y/N) had never felt like more than a pawn to anyone, to his family, to the agency and to Price. But with Simon… Simon had never treated him like anything but someone better than him, superior then him, all the while (Y/N) knew from day one that (Y/N) could never be half the man Simon was. He saw him for what he was, a once beautiful angel that had survived abuse and torture at the hands of his parents, only to endure it at the hands of John Price.

Simon was beyond broken, an angel whose wings had been clipped and stolen, yet he had never fallen, he had never once let it truly break him. (Y/N) had seen the light and like his father he had sought to squash the light, yet no matter how much he tried, the light was so bright that (Y/N) had been overwhelmed and Simon’s kindness was so heartbreakingly pure despite everything that (Y/N) had changed positively. (Y/N) was somehow a better man for knowing Simon and Simon had stopped hiding behind Ghost as an attempt at hiding who he was.

He was growing his wings back and Simon was more confident in himself than ever and (Y/N) loved every single second of it. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

(Y/N) woke when the alarm blared into his ear. Both men groaned as they separated for the morning and got up. As they both got dressed (Y/N) caught Simon glancing at him, (Y/N) headed over and wrapped his arms around Simon from behind, he kissed the spine between his shoulders. “Hmmm, morning luv.” Simon’s voice rumbled. “You are not usually this clingy.” He leaned back against (Y/N).

“I just realised how much I care and how much I love you.” (Y/N) whispered into his back before kissing his back again.

Simon chuckled. “Well, sir, I am always here for you,” Simon said.

(Y/N) chuckled. “Thank you, Si.” He said softly before pulling away with a sigh. “What is on the agenda today?”

“Meeting with the Shadow Unit, as usual,” Simon said as he placed his knives in their usual places. “Then you have dinner with the police chief, one of your father's allies has lent out his restaurant for this, I hope you like Italian food.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “I don’t mind it, the food isn’t all that bad.” He hid his own knives as well before checking up on his drawing kit. He checked the sharpness. Simon’s eyes were on him through the whole process. When he was done he wrapped it again and walked over to Simon. They shared a quick kiss before walking out.

After breakfast and the daily first meeting with various people who (Y/N) made very little attempt to even remember who was, he headed to lunch with the police chief.

(Y/N) sat down and looked at the smug face. “My officer says you are working close,” Shepherd said.

“Of course, we appreciate the shadow unit more than we could ever express.” (Y/N) said as he leaned back in the chair. The waiter poured him a glass of red wine. “Besides, Graves, your lapdog, is quite useful in many ways.” He said.

“He wouldn’t appreciate you calling him that,” Shepherd said with a chuckle.

(Y/N) shrugged as he picked up the glass of wine. “Yet, it is true.”

“Touché, Mister Price.” Shepherd said. “Graves reported his men started calling you The Iron Fist.” He said.

(Y/N) sipped the dry wine before sitting it down. “Iron fist?”

“Yes, apparently you are quite strict.” He said.

“I am no drill sergeant.” (Y/N) chuckled. “But they are learning how to not crack under torture.”

“By… torturing them,” Shepherd said.

“Nothing a child can’t go through.” (Y/N) said nonchalantly. As though pain and suffering didn't matter to him and Shephard knew, in his heart, that for (Y/N) it probably didn't matter, as long as a soldier was made out of the child.

Shepherd looked genuinely taken back and a bit disgusted at that. “You put children through that?”

“It was what my mother put me through, they won’t ever experience anything worse, I promise.” (Y/N) said.

He looked distrustful of that. “Are you suggesting that my men will be in danger of getting kidnapped and tortured?”

“It is always a possibility, even without them working for us, what I bring to the family is fresh eyes and fresh blood. I have allies and contacts for future work that would leave many quaking in their boots but it will earn you a good bonus.” (Y/N) said with a smile.

“A good bonus?” The police chief asked.

(Y/N) took a piece of paper out of his pocket and wrote 20 000$ on it before turning it over and sliding it over to him. Shepherd took it and looked at it. His eyes widened as he looked at (Y/N). “Bi-annually, on top of what we already give you, that is just a taste too. I am expanding the business in due time, though not without regulating what happens. If your men think of me as The Iron Fist now they will be in for a rude awakening when I take over and actually handle more business than our lovely police force.”

“And what about Grave’s, your police lap dog? What will happen to him?” Shepherd asked as the food was placed down in front of them. Perhaps (Y/N)'s cruelty wasn't so outrageous if it got results like this…

“He will keep being a lapdog. If I say jump I don’t even want him to ask how high, he should jump as high as possible.” (Y/N) took a bite of food and swallowed it before speaking again. “I will keep him close but keep in mind that I am happily taken, I won’t fuck his brains out.”

Shepherd cleared his throat. “Do you use your body often for sexual favours to clients?” (Y/N) chuckled at that.

“Not anymore, no.” (Y/N) said. “I don’t tend to have open relationships. I am a tad bit… possessive.” He heard Simon shuffle behind him.

“You must make whoever it is very happy,” Shepherd said.

(Y/N) smiled. “Yes, I think so too.” (Y/N) said with a softness Shepherd hadn’t heard from him.

“And you won’t tell me who?” Shepherd asked, mostly as a joke.

(Y/N) chuckled and shook his head. “No, we like to keep things private.”

Shepherd chuckled at that. “Alright, alright. I will let you keep your secrets.”

The rest of the lunch was decent, they had spent it talking about some minor things. No business after that.

When lunch was over Simon and (Y/N) headed back to the warehouse being used as a training facility. They entered to see Graves running men through the usual drills. (Y/N) gave a hum.

He walked over to them and looked at everyone going through the different drills. “Your men show promise.”

“Thank you, sir.” Graves smiled at the praise. He looked at him. “How did your lunch go?”

“It went well. Has Gaz arrived yet?” (Y/N) asked.

“Ah, yes. He is in your office, Sir.” Graves said.

“Next time lead with that. Ghost, keep an eye on their training.” (Y/N) said before walking upstairs. He entered his office and looked at Gaz with a smile. Both men shared a hug. (Y/N) sat down behind his desk and Gaz sat down in front of it. “So, what’s new?”

Gaz leaned back. “Well, your father is stressed, but still working, we keep suggesting he takes a break or give you more responsibility.”

“He is getting old.” (Y/N) said. “I am here to help in any way he needs or wants.”

“Those two are not the same?” Gaz asked.

(Y/N) chuckled. “We both know they aren’t, Gaz.”

“Oh, this is business?” Gaz chuckled.

(Y/N) smiled and shook his head. “Do you prefer Kyle, out here amongst the dogs?”

“I think you said 'A dog and his pigs',” Gaz said.

“Well, the lapdog is very entertaining to tease and his pigs are very needed to get our business running.” (Y/N) shrugged. “Besides, I am very happy with how Graves makes Ghost react.”

Gaz smirked. “You like the fact he asks you to fuck him.”

“Yes, though you should know all about that, Kyle.” (Y/N) commented.

“Oh I do, I know far better than most people.” He responded.

“Aye, you do.” (Y/N) chuckled. “Does my father even know about what we did?”

Gaz nodded. “He found out when Ghost was honest and said everyone wanted to fuck your brains out,” Gaz said with a shrug. “He couldn’t do anything as he realised that everyone would in fact like to fuck you. He asked me why and I answered truthfully. He regretted asking and just let people be.” He said. “He figured it would keep people loyal to you when he retired.”

“It does tend to keep people close to me.” (Y/N) said.

“May I ask, how do you do it?” Gaz asked.

“You may and honestly, I don’t know. I am just charming. To some degree it is probably my training kicking in but… for me, this is just me.” (Y/N) said, once again, shrugging.

“Interesting,” Gaz said. “So it is all unintentional?”

“Probably to others at this point.” (Y/N) said. “But I do use it and wield it like a weapon.”

“Except with Ghost,” Gaz said.

“What?” (Y/N) asked.

“Except with Ghost. I see the way you look at him when you think no one is looking.” Gaz said. “You look at him as though he is your whole world and as if you would happily burn the whole world down just for him,” Gaz said.

“I do love him.” (Y/N) said as he leaned back.

“You love him more than you realise,” Gaz said. “You do realise it, right?”

“I…” (Y/N) looked away, his silence was enough.

Gaz tilted his head. “You didn’t realise you loved him?” He asked. “It’s okay to have emotions, to be human.”

“No, emotions are a weakness.” (Y/N) said. “Care is a weakness. I can’t be weak.”

“That’s why Ghost is here, why you have friends, so that if you are weak for a moment then they will support you. Have you not had that before?” Gaz asked softly.

“Get out.” (Y/N) choked out.

Gaz said nothing more, he stood up and left, closing the door behind him. Gaz looked at Ghost and sighed. “Check up on him.” He said before leaving.

Simon frowned before looking at Graves. “Excuse me.” He walked up the stairs and knocked. “Sir?”

He heard some shuffling around before (Y/N) cleared his throat. “Come in.”

Simon entered and tilted his head. “Are you okay?” He asked as he noticed (Y/N) had been crying, his eyes had puffed up.

“No, I… I am not good with emotions, Si.” (Y/N) said. “Kyle made me realise a few things, I… I can’t handle that well.”

Simon walked over and sat down in front of him. “Anything to talk about?”

(Y/N) shook his head. “Not right now. But thank you, Si.” (Y/N) chewed on his lip. Simon had never seen him so… nervous. “How are the recruits going?”

Simon stood up and walked behind the table. “(Y/N)?” He lifted (Y/N)’s face up with a finger under his chin. “Look at me, please.”

(Y/N) looked into his eyes. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

(Y/N)’s face conveyed very little emotion but his eyes were stormy as doubt and thoughts rushed through them. Every single fear he had ever felt was coming to life. “No.”

Simon sat in his lap and wrapped his arms around him. (Y/N) hesitated before wrapping his arms around Simon. He didn’t cry out loud, but Simon felt him shake as he sobbed into his shoulder, the facade of the charming suave man who got into everyone’s pants fell away and once again Simon saw the vulnerable man who had never experienced actual love before, he had gotten glimpses of that version of him in the past though never as much as right here.

They sat there for an hour, neither of them moved, and neither of them spoke. The lines were blurring. Simon had gained confidence in their time together and (Y/N) had slowly begun trusting him with his emotions. They were healthily shifting roles. They were becoming one.

Simon stood up and held his hand out to (Y/N) who took it silently. They walked out, got into the car and got home. Simon waved people away as he took (Y/N) straight up to their bedroom. He ensured the door was closed behind them before laying down on the bed, still fully clothed. (Y/N) joined him on the bed, he cuddled into him and placed his head on his chest before closing his eyes.

Simon wrapped his arms around him and drew small circles on (Y/N)’s hips as he watched him fall asleep. Simon fought off sleep himself for a while before he too succumbed to the would-be nap, except no one woke them up.

(Y/N) and Simon awoke together around midnight. Both were far too well-rested to go back to sleep. (Y/N) looked up at Simon before cupping his cheek. “Thank you, for taking care of me.” He whispered.

Simon kissed his palm. “I will always take care of you.” He whispered back before (Y/N) straddled him.

“May I?” (Y/N) asked softly.

Simon nodded.

(Y/N) kissed him, it was slow and full of love, there was no demand for anything to go further but Simon reached up and gently cupped his cheek as they kissed, his other hand went down further landing on (Y/N)’s lower back. When they pulled away to breathe, their foreheads pressed together. “I want you,” Simon whispered.

(Y/N) smiled and kissed him again. “Then you will have me. Go clean yourself and I will prepare everything here.” (Y/N) said softly as he got off him. He watched Simon walk off before lighting a few mildly scented rose tealights, he ensured there was lube, condoms and things to clean Simon up with afterwards before sitting down. His mind went to Simon’s lips, how sweet they tasted against him, how much he wanted him forever and how much he loved him. (Y/N) smiled softly.

Simon came back out, already naked. (Y/N) undressed before walking over. He looked up into his eyes. “I love you.” (Y/N) said. Simon smiled at that and kissed him before saying, “I love you too.”

(Y/N) led Simon over to the bed where Simon lay down. He got between his legs and grabbed the lube, he squirted a good amount on his fingers before he started preparing Simon. First, one finger, slowly in and out, gently easing its way, there was no need to rush. Every single movement was followed by a kiss to the thigh, not something that would leave visible marks but Simon would spend the rest of the week feeling the ghostly kisses.

(Y/N) added a second finger, he curled and spread his fingers just right to get small moans out of Simon, he looked up at him with a smile and watched as his eyes halfway closed. The sheer trust they had in each other was beautiful. He added more lube before adding a third finger. His fingers curled around Simon’s prostate drawing further soft moans out from him.

(Y/N) pulled away as he grabbed a condom. Simon whined as he felt empty, he looked at (Y/N) and bit his lip as he watched him take the condom. “I am clean,” Simon said. (Y/N) looked at him and tilted his head. “So am I. Are you sure you want to bareback this?”

Simon nodded. “Yes.” He said. “I trust you, we are both clean.”

(Y/N) gave a nod at that and lubed up his cock, it was already hard. He positioned them both just right before slowly sliding into him. He bottomed out and waited for Simon to get comfortable. “You are taking me so well.” (Y/N) praised. Simon smiled at that.

(Y/N) leaned down without stopping his movement. Simon held onto (Y/N) as they shared loving but sloppy kisses. Both chased their mutual satisfaction. “Fuck Si, you feel so good.” (Y/N) said against the kiss, his pace didn’t falter.

Simon’s grip on (Y/N)’s shoulders and arms didn’t falter as he moaned against the kiss. (Y/N)’s choice of words sent him spiralling closer to his own edge. “(Y/N), fuck, this is so good, please don’t stop!” He cried out. He opened his eyes and looked up at (Y/N). His cock was leaking precum all over his stomach. He detached one hand and reached down before tugging at his own cock, further sending him spiralling towards the fast-approaching edge. The knot in his stomach was forming faster than he could even begin to realise. “I’m close.”

(Y/N) felt a surge of pride, Simon was already so close just because of him. He fucked into him harder. “Cum when you can, Si.” He panted.

Simon kissed him again, their tongues clashed against each other as teeth hit teeth, it was sloppy, tired and loving.

(Y/N) bit Simon’s lower lip as he kept thrusting into him, he was barreling towards his own bliss, not caring as moans tore themselves from his mouth, his sense was flooded with Simon and the feeling of his wet warm hole.

Simon moaned out louder than before as white cum sprayed over his hand and his stomach. He clenched around (Y/N) who thrust into him a few more times before cumming deep inside him. (Y/N) panted out as the adrenaline left their bodies. “Fuck si… Ah god, you were good, this was, hmmm, amazing.” He said and pulled out, he watched as his cum fell out of Simon’s hole.

“You were even better,” Simon said from his blissed-out state.

(Y/N) chuckled and grabbed a towel before cleaning Simon up. “Thank you, my love.” (Y/N) said.

“Shower now or later?”

“In the morning,” Simon said as he opened his arms.

(Y/N) wrapped his arms around him as he lay down with him. “Hmm, whole rooms gonna stink of us, Si.” (Y/N) said.

“Fuck it,” Simon said and chuckled.

Both men rested for a few moments before falling asleep in each other's arms again.

All lines between them blurred. They had become more equal and more in love. Nothing could tear them apart now. Not John Price, not Police Chief Shephards and not (Y/N)’s family. They were a unit now. Perfect for each other and perfectly dependent on one another.

Hopefully nothing would go wrong.

Tag list:

@rasberry-jupiter @one-green-frog

#simon ghost riley x male reader #loudblondes cod mafia au #cod x male reader #cod men x male reader #simon riley x male reader #simon ‘ghost’ riley x male reader #male reader #simon riley x you #fanfiction

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aita-blorbos · 7 months ago

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AITA for joining the organization that "killed" one of my best friends?

To preface, I am aware that I am in over my head here, but I've passed the point of no return, and I think my actions were understandable when I made them, and I want to see if others also think so.

What happened is. I (14m) and three others (V, 14F), M (14F), and ? (??/??) got attacked by this terror group, that was apparently in cahoots with M's father to abduct her for nefarious purposes.

We tried to fight the organization (which I'll call X) off, but, we were four kids. We just weren't strong enough. I wasn't strong enough.

We came up against one of X's executives Z (adult, m) and were forced to flee. M ended up split up from us. We couldn't find her in time, and Z pursued her into a cave, where M was devoured by a giant spider.

X left with their goal a failure. And V, ?, and I were just. Depressed for days.

After a solid week of staring at V's bedroom wall and other less relevant things that only proved I am too weak to protect anybody, I was approached by C (??, F). C told me there was a way to bring back M.

To do this, C wanted me to join X.

I was... still grieving, I was disraught and upset with myself, I wanted to do anything to feel useful, so when this strange, teleporting psychic woman tells me I can bring M back? I took her up on it.

I became an executive's protogé, and N (adult, F) isn't.. isn't even that bad? She protects me from the other executives, tries her best to keep me safe on the field, even if we're... well. I know N has her own agenda here, and I have a much better shot of hindering X from the inside.

But I met ? again. Alongside M. M was alive. C lied to me. I joined X for nothing, and now I have to commit, because there is no leaving with your life, even if it means V and M hate me.

So, yeah. That's that.

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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glorioustidalwavedefendor · 29 days ago

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it makes complete sense to try to leave someone who can keep the logistics/kingdom running so that there's a kingdom to return to when everything's done

I never really thought about that but now I have questions

Becasue ... who the fuck is running Rohan in her absence?

PLUS

She is teh first Lady of Rohan

-> The king has no wife nor has he daughters so she has to take up the mantle of what teh queen or her daughters would have done even before the plot kicks in

Meaning she has at least one Lady in waiting/Handmaiden

MEANING either these Ladies where in on it

We have a group of very disraught handmaidens who are more and more desperate becasue they can't find teh Lady Eowyn

That being said, if they are in on it that measn that Eowyn propaby set up a padme/amidala thing and one of them is running rohan in her sted

I mean ... I am sure at least one of them is tall blond and fair, slapp a vail on that (for morning) tell everyone she has a cold and that's why her voic eis fucked up and Bobs your uncle

And the thing that saves her in the Witch King fight isn't only because she's a woman, it's also because she has a hobbit friend, Merry, who sees her defending her uncle/his friend and despite being almost overcome with terror says "she will not die here alone and desperate, at least not unaided" (Merry! my boy!)

Merry is only usefull in ths situation becasue he has a sword/dagger from teh Barrow downs (or Lorien in the movies) otherwise he would not have been able to injure the witch king, since he has no body, only those blades can touch him

I do love that you can see the influence of Tolkien meaning for Eowyn to die throughout her arc. That girl just screams "doomed by the narrative". She's set up for this grand yet tragic death, and wants for nothing else than a grand exit and a glorious end to all things.

But having her live is so much more interesting. And having her live to find happiness especially. She seems like a tragic character. She thinks herself a tragic character. She is overwhelmed by a sense of doom and helplessness. Her narrative is overwhelmed by a sense of doom and helplessness.

But she isn't doomed.

Turns out, decent healthcare, clued in and concerned family members, and a decent support base, go a long towards towards un-dooming her narrative.

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mechanicalinertia · 1 year ago

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Bubblegum Black Chapter 6 is now live!

I missed my monthly deadline awhile back, but never fear, dear readers! I am back on my bullshit.

Celia and Swimming: See Anatomy of a Lovedoll - hell, see the first fifteen minutes or so of the first Bubblegum Crisis OVA - to see what I'm talking about. I'm fanon-ing that Celia is a) an excellent swimmer and b) uses it as catharsis when she's feeling disraught or disregulated. It just seems like the kind of thing she'd do.

ALMs: In this future, more robust AI exist, as envinced by the existence of Boomers, but cruder language-model AI from our time are still around. With the novelty of language model-generated content having all but worn off over the decades, most megacorps now use them in ways like this, generating metalinguistic code for automated and cyborg bureaucracy to whisper to each other over the company intranet. What? I think it's a clever idea. Paperwork often does feel like it's written in a foreign language, doesn't it? Might as well formalize that.

Sylvie and enemies: Despite Sylvie being largely a character of my own creation, extrapolated from so little screentime on her part in Moonlight Rambler, there are times when I worry that I'm writing her wrong. But I think I've figured her out. She's sweet and kind and loving, yes, but she's not passive, she left that passivity behind in Anchorpoint. She's going to make sure you know what she really thinks, barely concealed behind a flimsy veil of politeness. She'll be more straightforward with her comrades in arms, of course. Yeah. The more I play with Sylvie, the more I understand how to write her. I have an idea for a big scene involving her much later down the line and it's really exciting stuff.

Thuggee: Real-ass bandits of the Indian subcontinent, a name especially prominent during the Raj and not just in the one Indiana Jones movie. I think they should show up later in the fic - the idea of exploring how everyone outside of Roanapur but entangled in Koh Chang's business lives is fascinating to me - but for now they're not a big deal.

Bharat: Hindi name for India. Apparently the quasi-fascist BJP government there wants to change its name to double down on Hindu nationalist identity as the only valid identity in a nation of over a billion people, many of whom have alternative heritages that a secular nation would better serve. You can probably guess my politics, dear reader, from some of the stuff I post, and so you can probably guess that this element - one where a Hindu nationalist legion of psychotic gurus rules - is extremely dystopian. Honestly, I think more modern cyberpunk needs to acknowledge the rise of these governments, like in Hungary and Israel and potentially America if the '24 elections go badly. They're farces whose only selling point is internal bloodshed, eternal purges and cruelty. They can't even muster up the energy national revitalization they claim is so important to them, the way the fascist scum of the 20th century built armies for genocidal Lebensraum, because it's better to just privatize public services and fellate the divine power of free-market megacorporate tyrants. Let's call these sleazy fronts for corporate control and terror postfascist, then, shall we? I really should wave this word around a bit more often, it feels appropriate for cyberpunk. Anyhoo...

Rock and Guns: I don't remember where but I swear Revy's said something like this canonically. Here, though, it takes on an alternate turn. Instead of it being about who Rock is as a person, someone fundamentally unsuited for nasty violence as delivered by his hand, it's more Revy trying to protect Rock from Balalaika being nasty towards him. That's the idea, anyway. Balalaika is right, mind you. Rock has aided and abetted killing of all sorts constantly. He's more the gun that fires Revy's bullet than the other way around at times.

Revy getting a Hardsuit: What? Did you really think for one fucking moment that I wasn't going to do this? I've said as much! And reader, let me tell you, I am excited to do it. As for Balalaika... she might get a Saber hardsuit instead of a Russian 2050's powersuit, I'm still hashing that out. We'll see how things play out.

V.V. Vladilena: Balalaika's pseudonym for controlling Bougainvillea. A little joke on her part.

VHS-5: Further iteration of the VHS Croatian assault rifle. The newer version looks pretty cool, the older version has that FAMAS clone kinda vibe... either way, the point is that it's the kind of rifle Hotel Moscow owns a lot of that isn't explicitly Russian.

Vinfast: Yes, you heard me right, Vietnam's big fancy electric car company is still kicking in the 2060's! Sure, their cars are apparently quite shit now, but so were KIA and Hyundai's cars a few decades ago and no one would accuse the mighty chaebols of making such inferior product now. They're probably still plenty cheap in the ASEAN bloc, too!

Batwoman: Does Revy know that Batwoman's a canonical lesbian? Eh. Probably not. Are DC comics and Marvel and whatnot still around by 2069? Who knows, but I know Priss namedropped Batman in OVA 7, so maybe!

D-Company: D-Company is a real thing! Apparently its founder, Dawood Ibrahim, was on the FBI's most wanted for a hot minute! Apparently they're a pretty big deal in Muslim South Asia! Or were, anyway. Why put them in here? 'Cause I just didn't feel like having the Cosa Nostra in this fic. I'm sure the Italian mafia's reach spans the globe and as such could conceivably get its tentacles into Roanapur, but I wanted something a little different, something with more regional power. As for those other Islamic crime syndicates - Somali kinship networks I think I pulled out of a reference in Walter Jon Williams' Hardwired, and the Saudis-in-exile are, well, the Saudi royal family in exile, yeeted out of their own country following a bloody post-WW3 civil war. (The Emiratis control most of the Arab peninsula now, more on them around... chapter 8 or so. Not the next chapter I mean, the one after that.)

The Big Content Warning-y Moment: Whoo. Okay. Yeah. Blood and guts and gore and now this. Don't have your kids read this fic, folks. Revy's a very very bad role model. I did have someone say who read this a few days ago that while he could understand Revy, if she kept up her act he'd drop the fic. Which is fine, because I don't intend for Revy to get much worse. This is her low point, threatening someone with some really bad shit, someone who called her out on her other shit, and now? Well, now things are gonna change in Revy's head, hopefully. We'll see how things play out, won't we?

One last thing: I'd like to apologize for missing my self-imposed monthly update deadline by almost two months. It was annoying to me. I'm not sure if it was annoying to you, dear reader. I do have another chapter waiting in the wings that's shorter and sweeter in both senses of the word. With any luck, I'll be able to get it and another chapter out by the end of December. It's not a great place to be in - I wanted the climax of this arc to show up around the end of the year - but I need more time to make that happen.

After that arc, we'll have another arc, and another and another and then the fic will reach its conclusion. I'm excited to see where I can take this. Are you?

#bubblegum crisis #black lagoon #fanfiction

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lvckystarr · 2 years ago

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Half Way There

Things I've done since I learned I have an H. Pylori infection and Peptic Ulcer Disease:

x Stopped drinking coffee x Stopped smoking x Stop sugar* x Movement Therapies x Working heavily with Bach's and Roots x Updated my boveda x Yoni Steams x Self Reiki x Prioritize Sleep and Mental Peace I think I'm finally able to get into this a little bit! Disease is very much connected to our emotions and mine have been so disraught lately. Learning I am sick has given me so much relief and so much rage. I made a tiktok in December of 2021 at 3 am talking about how I was in excruciating pain and I was starting to revamp my wellness journey and make updates to my health routines. Make no mistake, those changes were necessary and beautiful. But to see that there's a very exact reason I was dealing with this severe pain for well over a year, it truly sent me into a bit of a spiral. I'm so thankful I had a great ER team who took me seriously. With one test they were able to determine what was wrong. It's one of the main reasons I'm so hesitant to go to Allopathic doctors. Hospitals are cold business institutions. I was reading someone's thread this week about how hospitals don't need different color scrubs and white coats, they do it to establish a power dynamic. Just like prison. Anyway... Phew. This is hard work lol. But this is such a part of the journey. Talking about it, speaking about it, releasing, letting go, expressing and not letting things literally grow and fester. Some of the spiritual explanations for these kind of bacterial infections and parasites are toxicity in your relationships. Parasitic relationships. Connections that are one sided. Not speaking up and expressing yourself. Holding onto bitterness, resentment and rage. I am so proud of my body and intuition though. Around December of the year before (I think) I started my Reiki training. I've been slowly building up my store of Bach's Flower Remedies which are now coming in so handy, and I've got a decent few conjure support things to ensure that this change I'm going through leads to a beautiful and lasting new life. That's what I'm building. So. Onto the Allopathic side. One of the reasons I stay as far as possible away from Western Medicine as a regular avenue solely and work with holistic practices is because Western Medicine loves to isolate. It sees a symptom and treats that symptom and in so doing leads to a slew of more symptoms until you're often hooked on some kind of medical routine that is severely damaging to your body and still somehow never quite manages to actually treat or cure the illness but rather stifle the pain of said illness. You take one pill and a few weeks later you're taking 17. That being said, the different medical practices co-exist for a reason. If I get a gunshot wound I want someone medically trained to take it out and stitch me up but I also want some reiki to understand why I was in the situation, to heal my heart, and to bring me ease and comfort through what may be a PTSD activating event. All that being what it is I am on four medications. One is an antibiotic One is a "Proton Pump Inhibitor" which basically stops my painful and incessant burpint I have literally no idea what the other two are. H. Pylori is basically this bacteria that many people have inside of them. Only when it gets activated does it cause severe problems. Unlike many other bacterial infections, H. Pylori is strong enough to withstand the strong acid in your stomach. It can nestle in there and start colonizing your insides. In my case because it had gone on so long unchecked, the reason for my burps and gases was because there was so much bacteria that it was creating it's own oxygen and toxic gases. It has settled into all the crevices of my organs, dead set on taking me out. That's why I said (when I began this journey) that I was going to war. And I have. The side effects of the drugs are major and numerous. But I know they are working. That's enough for today, though. <3

Oh also side note: if you quit coffee, nicotine and most sugar it's not really going to make you a nice person at first. Try to prepare for that and give yourself some comfort and support. the reason sugar has an asterisk is because it's impossible for me not to ingest sugar right now. However though, I have cut down on the obvious sugar and supplemented my coffee with Matcha Tea which is also a strong antioxidant infuser that will bring down the infection!

#peptic ulcer disease #h. pylori #healing with reiki #personal #wellness journey #stomach health #ulcer #duodenal ulcer #gut health

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