#i am trying to think of all the possible tags to prevent people from being spoiled

[charizardstolemynickname]

guys I stayed up to watch Doctor who and I have thoughts

SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE, EMPIRE OF DEATH

SO MANY OF THEM ARE RELAYED TO THE PARALLELS TO ROSE, it's so many I'm going to miss a few definitely, but just a few:

- The finale having the line "We bring life" I immediately thought of Bad Wolf for starters

- Oh and having every episode have a face/phrase somewhere leading them to this finale, where the companion helps bring life to the universe using the tardis? yeah okay let's pretend that didn't already happen s1

- The "Will I ever see you again?" whilst in tears?? I had flashbacks to the beach. I had to physically pause the episode

- Ruby after hearing the doctor say "Of course I'll see you again" saying "your own granddaughter, you left her" is so similar to Rose comparing herself to Sarah Jane saying "But, Sarah Jane- you were that close to her once"

- And most importantly, RUBY SAY I LOVE YOU TO THE DOCTOR, THE DOCTOR DIDNT SAY IT BACK, AND AS SOON AS RUBY COULDNT SEE HIM ANYMORE, TEARS WERE FALLING DOWN HIS FACE, AND HE WAITED A MOMENT, BEFORE TURNING ON THE TARDIS AND FLYING AWAY

I'm actually going to lose it. First Ruby is a blonde northern working class companion, 19 years old, with a name that begins with R, is 4 letters long and is a shade of red. Then Ruby also happens to be without a parent/dad, and contemplates asking the doctor to go back in time to meet said parent.

NOW ALL THIS?!?! either I'm delusional, or this is Rose 2.0, except there's no romance with the doctor

[thewhumpcaretaker]

Thank you for transforming my life.

I have had an incredible experience being a part of Tumblr and the whump community. It has been genuinely healing. Here, I reconnected with my deepest feelings to the point that I reconnected with my body too, and even my physical health improved. Here, I became openly trans in public for the first time. And here, I expressed myself through whump stories.

I stopped writing as a kid because I was told I was no good at it. Tumblr showed me that some people will really enjoy what I make and that has made me want to write a book again, which I have started doing. Hell, I've written books now. Just in terms of what I've transferred to AO3, I've written 227,282 words since I joined around January of 2024. That's less than two years ago. Not all of that writing was fantastic, but I've proven to myself that it is possible to imagine a story and then make it real. Even a very long story.

There was also a time when I buried my sexuality and really my whole personality, my desire to comfort others and be there for them, due to abuse. The whump community gave me the courage to be tender and to find partners who wanted tenderness, and to admit that it was what I wanted too. This allowed me to genuinely stop hated myself in many ways, to challenge the biases I had grown up with related to mental disorders, and to be true to myself and my beliefs about what is right and how people should be treated. Even people who do bad things. I do not believe in punishment or evil. I believe in the power of reformative healing and change, combined with the difficult honesty that makes accountability possible. This belief, that others are deserving of compassion, has given me an enormous feeling of strength and power and connection, and enabled me to act with leadership for those close to me.

When I say this "community" made all of that possible, I don't mean some nebulous organization. I mean that people did that for me. I considered tagging them but...look, if you're reading this, I probably mean you. People spoke to me, sometimes as themselves, and sometimes as characters we both loved, and sometimes just in the general public square that is the nature of posting on Tumblr, but they spoke to me authentically about the experience of life, of pain and care. People here have been my friends and have shown me that when I offer kindness, it may be answered with gratitude. That I have something to offer which can make others happier in any small way and that there is nothing wrong with who I am and the role I want to play in relationships. I don't hesitate to say that I love these people. I want the best for all of you, and as I've mentioned, those who have my discord are still always welcome to message me and are still welcome to exchange art and writing. ...Though I may be more scarce for a while.

I don't intend to finish any of my current series. I may post outlines for them within the next day or so for those who would like to know how they would have gone, and to prevent myself from returning. After that, I will close my askboxes and try not to log back in (though we all know how I do with self control when it comes to the internet, hahaaa...ah well).

It was the right time anyway. I'm going to move abroad at the end of this summer to return to art school, and was planning to get offline at that point. But sooner is probably better. As good as things have been for me in terms of self expression and self exploration, it's incredibly easy for people to ruin my day on here, for any reason they want. I think it's just not safe to be here anymore, because my reactions can be very extreme. And I have people in my life I care about. I have to be responsible and look after myself and my peace so that those I love won't be worrying over me. And...also for my own sake. I really do think, for the first time in my life, that I have a right to safety and to do what makes me comfortable. For once in my life, I don't want to kill myself or even stifle myself or numb things away. I hope everyone discovers that kind of joy.

So, yes. I'm moving on. But I'm so glad I met you!

Love,

Caretaker

[little-saw]

The following things Connie, (aconcernedageregressor, prev agereblacklistblocklist) did when harassing me;

PLEASE PLEASE READ. FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, TO HELP SPREAD INFORMATION, AND HELP OTHER VICTIMS. REBLOGS SINCERELY APPRECIATED AND NESSECARY IF POSSIBLE!!!

Screenshotted my information (luckily, I suspected this would happen and deleted a lot of personal information to prevent doxxing since she has threatened to leak IPs before)

Cropped out both parts of my posts where I state I'm 16/a minor. I didn't realize this until a little after, but yes, she felt the need to try and make me seem older than I am, I am unsure why.

Grouped me with a bunch of random people and accused us all of random unlawful acts with zero evidence. She seems to think that screenshotting random things and compiling them together makes it look like she's got evidence, but if you take the time to read it, it's all unrelated. The post she used as "evidence" of me being a supporter of abdl can be found here

Randomly accused me of being a proshipper. This was very frightening, after an anon defended me about how I am 16, she stated I was a proshipper. Now thats ridiculous. I plaster everywhere that I'm like VERY anti proshipping, it disgusts and triggers me. Her proof? Well I'm a selfshipper of course, and apparently me shipping with an OF age character just for fun is unlawful and a crime?

Accused me and someone else of harassment because we were demanding our names be removed from the list. Yeah, this was silly, apparently repeatedly replying to posts with questions and statements and sending asks to defend yourself from unlawful accusations is "harassment."

Deleted comments I sent and replied to comments in unserious ways/mocking. This was bewildering, to see someone so immature using terms and phrases they're clearly uneducated about.

Said she'd delete me off the list after nonstop defending and protecting myself, only to not because apparently it was too much work to simply edit a post, scratch out a name, and post it again. I was very frustrated over this, I even sent a comment in which I offered to show her how to edit a post and scratch out a name without hurting the rest of her "evidence." Which she deleted.

Screenshots to match with these paragraphs found below.

-> Response before I was added to the list myself, also the post that was considered evidence here , this is the same one I linked above

-> When i was informed by an anon message (I would of never known since Connie didn't tag me properly or message me) here

-> Me adding that the fact I was a minor to a mutual post, who is facing the same allegations. (Look at their blog and you can see that they're clearly untrue) here

-> Talking about how I am a survivor of non consenting ageplay here

-> My online sisters response and defending of me here

-> My response to the allegations here

-> Screenshots of the things she did above can be found here

[the20thangel]

The Caged Queen

Summary: The war has ended. Rhaenyra is dead, and Aegon is left burnt. You from House Celtigar have married the King and ruled at his place because of his injuries. To try to bring stability to the realm, you invite the lords of the realm to pledge their loyalty to the crown. Forcing you to reunite with a lord from your past, tensions run, and feelings come back. (I have not proofread, so I apologize for any errors)

Benjicot X reader

Tags: NSFW, MDNI, 18+

Word count: 3.5 K

Masterlist

Sitting in the council room, listening to the state of the realm, seeing how you can bring it into peace after the dreadful war. You sighed, listening to the lords discussing the possibility of marrying Prince Aegon, Rhaenyra’s son and your husband’s child, with his first wife, Heleana, Princess Jaehaera. The war ended, but the tensions were still high around the realm. With the current council holding surviving lords from both black and green sides, meetings usually ended with arguments rather than solutions. Since you had yet to provide a male heir to the king, you understood it was only plausible for the two to marry, but you did not want that for your stepdaughter. For you know, the sweet princess would never survive the hardships of court, just like her mother. You also could not help but think that Prince Aegon would be okay with marrying the daughter of the man who killed his mother. 

You were only a stand-in for your husband, who was too weak and almost always in pain to get out of his bed. Growing tired of the arguments, you cleared your throat. 

“My lords, I understand that the realm needs stability, but I don’t feel like marrying the young royals will achieve this. They have not healed from the horrors of the war. I will not force them into a marriage that could end in resentment. What would we do once they, in their anger, kill each other? Hmm? The realm will be left with no heirs left.”

You explained, twirling a ring on your right index finger; it was pretty garnet. Lord Corlys gave you a pointed look, stopping you from your nervous tick. Lord Peake condescendingly looked at you with pity.

“My Queen, no insult to you or the king, but since you have yet to become with child, King Aegon’s reign is frail; we need to make sure that the realm has heirs to prevent a war from brewing again.”  snidely explained Lord Peake, giving you a crooked grin, as eyes roamed down your body. 

Disgusted, you sneered at the lord, “Surely, you understand, my lord, that my husband is always in a great deal of pain, so tell me, my lord, how am I supposed to become with the child if laying with my husband will cause him immense pain? You want to ensure an heir for him; you should find a way for me to do my duty. I am responsible for Prince Aegon the Younger and Princess Jaehaera's well-being. My stepdaughter is still a child; I will not force her into an early marriage. So let us conclude this meeting by brainstorming a more realistic way to ensure lasting peace for the realm; surely our families and people deserve that much?” 

You stood up, prompting all the other lords to stand and bow their heads, letting you be the first to walk out of the council room. Walking to the king's rooms, you saw your husband peacefully sleeping on his bed. Turning to the maester, you asked about Aegon’s status. 

“The King is in great pain, but he seems to relax once given some sweet wine and poppy milk. Hopefully, letting him have adequate rest will bring back his strength.” 

 Thanking the maester, you turned to look at Aegon. You suppose you got lucky; you were his second wife after the tragic death of Heleana. Lord Larys, before Queen Rhaenyra executed him, convinced Aegon that he needed another Valyrian bride, and besides the Velayrons, House Celtigar was the only other house with Valyrian genes. So your father betrayed Rhaenyra, and you were soon married to Aegon. Although you pleaded for the Queen to help you escape from your fate, she was already ridden by grief and sent you away, claiming that you betrayed her like your father. Then Princess Baela attacked Aegon a week before your marriage, injuring him more than he was before.  So, although the seven witnessed the marriage, it remained unconsummated.  

Of course, the only people who knew that it was unconsummated were your ladies and Alicent Hightower, who would only glare at you should you be in the same vicinity as her. It did not help that you started prohibiting her from reaching your stepdaughter, but the poor girl confessed her grandmother frightened her. Sighing, you placed a kiss on his forehead before turning to leave the room. Walking to the children’s chambers, Aegon the Younger and Jaehaera played quietly. Smiling, you greeted them, allowing both children to embrace you. They were innocent in the war and lost people they cared about, and you needed to protect them from lords who wanted to place burden after burden on them. You spent the rest of the day with the children, trying to ignore the nagging feeling from that morning's meeting. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, another council meeting was called. As you sat at the head of the table, you noticed that only a few lords seemed happy, and Lord Peake was not one of them. Turning to Lord Corlys, he cleared his throat. 

“My queen, after you left, I decided to follow through on your command and brainstormed a plan to bring stability to the realm, and I decided the course of action was to call all lords from the realm to come to Kingslanding and pledge their loyalty to the crown, ending the occasion with a ball. Therefore, the lords see how much we appreciate their oaths.” 

As you thought in the plan, you brought up the concern that the smallfolk would see this as a slap in their faces if the highborn indulges while they are struggling. Another lord countered by saying they would provide opportunities for the smallfolk to work for the lords coming to Red Keep to earn coins and hold minor feasts outside the walls. Nodding, you decided to allow the plan to run its course, taking the rest of the time to prepare preparations for the many houses and where they would stay in the castle. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two moons passed, and finally, the lords were here to swear their oaths to the crown. Aegon was improving but still had too much pain to leave his room entirely. As you stood with Prince Aegon and Princess Jaehaera, each lord came up, bowing and swearing his loyalty to the crown and House Targaryen. The last house from the Riverlands came up to the royals, House Blackwood. Lord Benjicot came forth, staring at the Prince for a while before bowing. Your heart started beating fast, seeing the Raventree Hall lord for the first time since your marriage. Seeing him so close, your chest tightened, but propriety was a border between you both. Benjicot raised himself, allowing both your eyes to meet, gray on lilac. You closed your eyes, nodding to him. 

Benjicot stared at you. You were so close, but he knew better than to reach out for you. Seeing your face away from him greatly upset him; frowning, he bowed again before walking away, his fists curling. 

Soon, the festivities began, with lords and ladies dancing and laughing, enjoying themselves. You tiredly smiled, happy that the court seemed to enjoy themselves, but it took a toll on you. Hoping to use the children as an excuse to leave early when the herald's voice came out. 

“Presenting His Royal Majesty, King Aegon, Second of his name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.” 

Everyone gasped as the Kingsguard practically carried Aegon to you, and everyone paled, including you, at seeing your husband. Seeing him wheeze in pain caused you to quickly go to his side, helping him stand beside you as the court became silent.  You scanned the room, seeing many of the court becoming uncomfortable at seeing your husband’s state, and you were saddened to see Prince Aegon shake in fear, walking farther away from you. Before walking to the young boy, you felt a coarse hand grasp yours. Turning, you saw Aegon pull at your hand. Walking towards him, he reached up to you, barely kissing the corner of your mouth. You froze, stiffening at his actions and feeling dread when you made eye contact with Benjicot, whose face darkened with anger, and walked out of the room. Your eyes followed the lord as Aegon addressed the crowd.

“I thank all of you here for coming to swear loyalty to me and my queen. Even though I have not made many appearances in court, I know I have left my rule in the best hands possible. My lovely wife has done an excellent job in ruling in my name, and I wish to come out today so that we may take the time to honor her.” He gasped again in pain as he pushed for you to stand closer to the crowd. 

The lords and ladies smiled, clapping for their queen; what Aegon was the truth, you had ensured that the realm slowly returned to the peaceful times of King Viserys. Shyly, you smiled at the crowd before turning back to your husband, urging him to return to his chambers, seeing him in pain. You may not fully love your husband, but you were not cruel to enjoy him in pain. He nodded and kissed your hand again before leaving with his guards. Sighing, you clapped your hands, asking for the bards to play joyful songs for dances. 

Turning to the prince and princess, you saw how pale they were from Aegon’s appearance; you comforted them and let one of your councilmen know that you were also retiring with the children, not noticing how a certain councilman, followed you out and then changed course towards the king’s chambers. You spent an hour with each child, reading them sweet Valryian tales until they relaxed enough to sleep. Smiling, you kissed each child goodnight before walking out and making your way to the Queen’s Chambers. As you were a few steps from your chamber, you felt an arm grab yours. You spun to punch your attacker, but your hand was quickly caught as you heard a slight chuckle. You relaxed, seeing that it was Benjicot. You nodded as you addressed him. 

“My lord, pardon my attack, but I would have thought you knew better than to sneak up on your queen?” you questioned, noticing your hand still in his, but you made no move to remove it. 

“Forgive me, my queen, but I couldn’t help but notice you walking alone. Should you not have guards or ladies with you, or does your king not care what happens to his wife?” Benjicot criticized. 

You lightly scoffed, “Usually, no one outside the royal family would be this far into Meagor’s holdfast.” 

Benjicot flushed; he was caught. Still, he shook his head, backing away slightly from you. 

“I apologize; I got lost while walking around the grounds. I was trying to find my way back to the ballroom when I heard footsteps,” he confessed, his eyes softening as he fully took your appearance. 

Nodding, you point him to the correct path, wishing him goodnight as you turn away. Pausing when he called your name. 

“Lord Blackwood, I am the Queen; you do not have permission to use my name freely,” you quietly hissed at him. Feeling your chest tighten again when you heard his husky voice speak your name. 

Benjicot smiled, walking towards you, his body nearing and pressing to yours. You both stared at each other, him taking a strand of your hair. 

“Does he treat you well?” he questioned, staring into your eyes. 

Your eyes softened, nodding, “Yes, as best as he can. I hardly see him, but he is kind whenever we see each other.” 

Ben nodded; feeling reckless, he reached to caress your cheek, but you moved your face away from his touch. 

“Don’t,” you stated, your eyes hardening at him. 

Ben frowned, “I’ve missed you…” 

You cruelly laughed at his words, smirking tauntly as his frown deepened. 

“You missed me? You left Ben… You don’t get to miss me when you abandoned me when I needed you the most… You lost the right to miss me.” you angrily stated, tears slowly falling down your cheeks. 

Ben shook his head, wiping tears away from your face. You sob out as you allow yourself to lean to his touch; no matter how much you can deny it, you miss him as well. 

“I did not mean to…I had to follow my duty, to fight for our queen-” 

You shushed him. Looking around, you brought him inside your chambers. 

“Do not speak about Queen Rhaneyra freely; you could be charged with treason,” you warned him. 

“I will never deny Queen Rhaenyra’s claim, you know this, at least you did before you married her murder and become a queen-” Ben didn’t finish his sentence as you slapped him. 

“Do you think I wanted this? I never wished to be queen. I never wanted to marry him. But what other choice did I have, Ben? I was alone; the queen pushed me away because of my father’s actions. You left me, YOU LEFT. Allowing my father to force me into a marriage I did not want. What was I supposed to do? Kill myself or try to survive and marry a man who was broken. Prince Aegon would have been killed with the queen if not for me. I fought for Prince Aegon while you all were fighting silly battles. I …” you sobbed, falling to the ground in heartbreak, finally allowing your walls to break down since you walked up the blasted steps of the Sept.  

Ben swallowed bitterly; he hated seeing you cry; kneeling, he gathered you to his arms as you continued to cry in grief. Hushing you, he kissed your crown, trying to comfort you. 

After a moment, you leaned back, your face close to his. 

Ben smiled sweetly, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you…. When I heard you married him, I became resentful and filled with rage. The battlefield allowed me to release my anger.” 

You shook your head. Sadly, smiling as you felt a kiss on your cheek, “I don’t love him… I hoped you would have come to take me and the prince away from this golden cage. I cried at my wedding, trying to imagine that it was you who I was marrying infront of the weirwood tree, not him…but you never came. You left me, Ben.”

Ben closed his eyes in pain; he regretted not coming to take you away. 

“If I could go back, I would… I love you…I will never stop loving you,” he confessed, leaning in but stopping away from your lips. He would not dishonor you. 

You softened at him. He was still your sweet Ben. You were still his lady. As you expressed your thoughts, Benjicot grinned. Unable to stop himself, he finally kissed you. Allowing yourself to fall into his kiss, you placed your arms around his neck, leaning more into the kiss. You will stop denying yourself to him. You wanted him. 

As the kiss deepened, Benjicot dragged your body closer to him, causing you to grind his lap and groan at the sensation. Feeling like he was dishonoring you, he was about to stop when you grinded yourself harder to him, taking a loud groan from his lips to yours. Ben growled, knowing he should stop. You were married and the queen, but your sweet body cast a spell on him, with each movement of your hips, called out to his groin as it stiffened with each grind. Ben pressed your hips down harder to cause the fraction to strengthen; you grabbed his other hand and placed it upon your breast, moaning as he fonded your breast. 

Separating his lips from yours, he leaned to your ears, groaning your name from your movements, “We need to stop, my queen; if you don’t… I don’t think I will stop myself…I don..dishonor…fuck.” 

He could not finish his thoughts, leaning his head back from feeling your hips circling on his lap. Forgetting his argument, he kissed your neck, sucking and biting. You gasped in delight. 

“Your queens need you, my lord, I command you to love me…I command you to take me…take me, Ben.” you pleaded, grinning as he growled and picked you up, throwing you on your bed. 

Feeling giddy, you began to undress yourself as you saw him stalking you, undressing himself along the way. Calming on the bed, he pulled your body to him. Both groaned as he rubbed his stiff cock on your wet cunt. 

“So wet for me, I bet he could never get you this wet… you're wet for me and only me, my sweet girl,” he whispered to your ear, grinning as you moaned at his teasing. 

Kissing him, you wrapped your legs around him, sighing in delight as he rubbed himself on you. “I will never know; we never consummated the marriage..” you confessed. 

You needed him to know you were still a maiden. That you never entirely gave yourself to the king, that Ben would be the only one. Benjicot froze upon hearing the news; technically, your marriage was not valid… technically you were still his as he was still yours. Grinning wildly, he kissed you more fiercely, causing you to gasp and allowing him to sneak his tongue into your mouth. As you grabbed his shoulder, you felt the slight pain of him entering you. He fully sheathed himself inside of you, pausing to let you get used to his size and girth. 

Although it was slightly painful, you were happy; no other man would be inside you, for your body and soul were committed to Benjicot Blackwood. Nodding for him to move, Ben started slowly and deeply, causing you to moan, leaning your head back on your pillows, enjoying his sweet movements and kisses on your neck. As much you loved him being sweet, you needed more; you waited too long enough to have him. 

Pleaded for him to go faster, Ben grinned, switching his position to allow him to lift his hips faster as he began to pound into you, groaning as your walls began to clench around him. He felt at home; he belongs between your legs. Moaning, you began to drag your nails down his back, locking your legs around him. 

Sounds of skin slapping became louder with the grunts, groans, and moans coming from the queen and her lord. You whispered his name like a prayer, meeting his hips with each thrust, clenching hard as he pounded into you. You needed him; you will never tire of him. Soon, both movements began to grow sloppy, feeling your release coming fast. As Ben started to exit, you quickly grabbed his upper body with your arms as your legs tightened around his hips. 

“No, I will have it no other way but inside me; finish inside me; your queen commands it, Ben,” you commanded, moaning as he slammed hard twice before feeling his hot, creamy release inside of you. Coating your walls as your release milked him of every drop he gave. 

As you finally came down from your high, you breathed heavily; he was still inside of you. You ran your fingers through his hair, making him look up to you. Smiling, you brought his face to yours, kissing him sweetly. Benjicot grinned, moving up to caress your face when you both heard a commotion outside. Freezing, you both quickly jumped from the bed. You change into your shift fast before turning to help him redress. Hearing the Kingsguard yell, you promptly pushed him to hide as you turned scared, the guards flying into the room. 

“My Queen!” stated a guard as you reached for a cloak. 

“Commander, what is it?” your heart beat so fast. Did they hear you and Ben? 

The commander scanned, looking for danger; when he saw nothing, he turned to you. 

“My queen, I regret that the King has been poisoned. We are looking for the culprit.” 

You gasped; Aegon was dead. Quickly, you commanded the court to enter the throne room, asking the rest of the guards to bring the children to you. As they left, you breathed. He was gone; you would no longer be queen. Turning to Ben, he left his spot, taking your face into his hands. 

“You need to go to Ben before they find you and try to blame you…I’ll see you in the throne room. I will fight for Rhaenyra’s son to be king and bring my queen’s wishes to life.”  you asked of him. 

Nodding, he kissed you once more before he began to leave. Pausing, he turned to you with a slight grin.

“After this mess, will you marry me, my queen?” he asked, causing you to blush. 

You smiled as you breathed your answer, “I will gladly be your lady. After we crown our king, I will marry you infront of the Weirwood tree at Raventree Hall. Now go quickly.” 

Benjicot dazzled you with a broad smile, turning; he quickly left you, eagerly awaiting for the future.

[unoislazy]

I lied to all of you, Hiccup later, Mizu now!

Spar With Me

Mizu x Reader

Disclaimer; Possible spoilers.

Mizu will be referred to as “he/him” since the reader won’t know her secret at this point in time.

I can’t guarantee this will be completely in character, I’m still learning more about the characters so bear with me.

Part Two

Part Three

————————————————————

You had been traveling alongside Mizu and Ringo for a fair amount of time. You had been haphazardly picked up along the way, very much to Mizu’s dismay. The only reason you were allowed to tag along was your fighting skills. Your skills were no wear near Mizu’s level, not many people would be, but you were able to do enough that if the need arose, you’d be able to form some sort of protection for yourself and possibly Ringo.

But you wanted to learn more.

You didn’t want to do like Ringo and become a Samurai, it should be clear to anyone that Mizu was not a samurai, you wanted to learn how to fight. Throughout your travels with the two you watched how the man practically danced with a sword, the elegance as he leapt through the air and sliced up men with ease. The sword seems to be a sort of extension of him, of his arm, or his heart. When he wielded the sword it was like they were connected more than just physically.

You didn’t understand it well but you wanted to learn.

You had your reasons for wanting to fight. You didn’t want to learn in the name of tyranny or even greed, you wanted to learn to prevent a situation from happening ever again.

When you were younger, you certainly weren’t the most popular kid in your village. You never truly did much to attract attention so people often never really batted an eye to your presence. However, that meant no one truly noticed when you would walk around with several visible injuries some days after being picked on by some of the other village kids.

They didn’t pick on you for any other reason than they were bored and they knew they wouldn’t face any consequences if they went after you.

And they were right.

You tried your hardest to fight back but they were always a step ahead of you. So from then on you knew you wanted to learn how to fight, if not to protect yourself then maybe to have the hopes of one day protecting someone else.

You all continued to travel in complete silence, the snow lightly crunching beneath yours and Mizu’s feet. The only thing giving away Ringo's position was the bell that was wrapped around his foot. You looked down at his bell and smiled, it was almost like putting a collar on a pet, it was kind of funny to you. Ringo turned to you, noticing you looking at the bell and he excitedly smiled.

“Do you like it? Master gave it to me, he says I’m too sneaky so now he knows where I am at all times!” He loudly exclaimed, you think he was trying to whisper but he was obviously doing horribly at it. Mizu, who was walking a few steps ahead of you two, gave you a slight glance over the shoulder. You didn’t really notice as you were still smiling at Ringo, you enjoyed his ever optimistic demeanor on everything, it was so different from everyone else’s dreary lives and it gave you a reason to smile.

Ringo leaned over to you, trying his best to lower his voice but he still said everything quite loud.

“Maybe master will give you one too! That way we can both be sneaky apprentices.” He whispered, causing you to burst out laughing.

“Me? Get a bell?” You laughed before continuing, “I’m not going to call the man my master, I have no reason to.” You stated pretty plainly, which obviously confused Ringo.

“You want to learn how to fight, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“And you want to learn from Mizu, right?”

You nodded your head agreeing with him before realizing what he was getting at.

“So then Mizu is your master!”

“Woah, no way.” You argued, now crossing your arms with your head raised high.

You had your issues with calling some man your master. Especially one that barely gave you the time of day. Plus, if it wasn’t for your persistence and Ringo's persuasion, he would’ve left you on that street corner where he found you.

But he didn’t.

He instead let you travel along like a stray dog, following him around on his dark mission that you felt no need to ask about. You had talked to him maybe a handful of times before but he clearly didn’t want to give you the idea that he wanted you around. You were welcomed here, but with very cold and rigid arms instead of nice warm ones.

You might’ve been following him like a stray dog but you’re no pet.

And so you refuse to get that stupid bell.

“Why don’t you want to be Masters apprentice? I’d say it’s very fun, I get to do stuff for him all the time!” Ringo said, it was obvious he was trying to persuade you in some way.

“Well my friend, I think that position is occupied, number one. And number two, I want to learn how to fight, that’s it. I don’t want to learn the ins and outs of being a samurai. I’m simply hoping Mizu will teach me, as a friend.” You explained, it seemed this finally clicked with Ringo, but then you watched as his face contorted into more confusion by your answer.

Before he could ask, Mizu abruptly turned to the both of you and simply stated,

“It’s getting late, we should rest here.”

You both nodded as Mizu walked off in some random direction with Ringo following him. You however, took a moment to just stare at the already dark night sky. You hadn’t realized just how long you had been traveling, and you were a bit peeved that you had missed seeing the sunset. Although it’s not like you would’ve really been able to see it anyways, you were currently deep into a forest, surrounded by hundreds of trees with no clear direction in any which way.

Speaking of not knowing your direction, you quickly looked back down and spotted Ringo, quickly following after him as to not get left behind. If they had left you you would’ve been screwed, you have no idea where you are, or how to get out of the forest, not to mention there’s usually many dangers in the woods that you’re not yet prepared to deal with.

It didn’t take long for a fire to get set up and for Ringo to start cooking. He might not have made the world's best soba, but you’d argue it was pretty high up there. You and Mizu sat quietly by the fire, not really saying a word to each other as you stared at the scorching flames before you.

You wanted to ask if you could try training, while you’re both not doing anything, you wanted to try.

But you were almost afraid of Mizu. His stoic demeanor often sent shivers down your spine especially when he had such a stern tone of voice.

Well it’s now or never.

“Hey Mizu?” You began. You could see him just barely out of your peripheral vision. He turned his head ever so slightly to look at you, but you didn’t want to look back as you continued,

“Before Ringo finishes the food, would you mind sparring with me?” You asked. Mizu stared at you for a moment before looking back to the tree he had been looking at before. Maybe he was thinking about his answer?

Your eyes slowly crept over to look at him from the side. He didn’t really make a move to give you an answer, he simply sat there, thinking.

“It can double as extra training for you. Obviously not to your level, but you can use me as a warm up.” You persisted, now fully looking at him. You stared at him for a moment, he was probably in the most relaxed position you ever have, or ever would see him in. He rested one of his arms on his knee with his back against the tree trunk that lay behind himself. His dark hair was in its usual top knot and his glasses remained on and pushed up.

You didn’t know why he wore those glasses, you had never seen him take them off, and you had never seen behind them. Maybe he just really enjoyed wearing them, maybe a family heirloom?

Well, from what you knew about the man, his family definitely wasn’t something he’d want to honor with an heirloom. Plus, they seemed more of a newer style of glasses so there goes that idea.

After staring for what was in reality, maybe ten seconds, you looked away. If he wasn’t going to train you then who was, why were you even here if he wasn’t going to give you a chance. Were you seriously just along to be Ringo's makeshift bodyguard? Seriou-

“Fine, get up.”

You looked confused, being snapped out of your thoughts so abruptly had you thinking you completely made up what you thought you just heard.

“Do you want to learn or not?” Mizu asked, now standing before you, looking down at you as he waited for your answer. You nodded eagerly, quickly standing up and following Mizu just a little ways away from the fire.

It wasn’t like the forest was pitch black, you could still see thanks to the bright moonlight, it was just a little bit harder.

Mizu stopped in a little open area, just enough room for a fight to take place. You looked back, seeing that the fire wasn’t too far but It was enough that you couldn’t exactly see what Ringo was doing because of the trees that blocked your vision.

You stood a little ways away from Mizu, getting into a fighting stance, unarmed. You knew how to use a katana and naginata very loosely, but you wanted to just start with hand to hand. You knew Mizu could easily kill you if he wanted to regardless of what the fighting style was, but you trusted him even the slightest bit to not commit to ending your life.

Now you both stood quietly before each other. Both in fighting positions as you waited for the other one to move. If you were to attack first you were far enough away to give Mizu time to counter you. If Mizu attacked first, you might have time to counter or dodge but you weren’t going to get very far.

So, without another thought, you charged at Mizu. He waited for a moment before doing the same, and just as you were about to swing, he threw snow right in your face.

“Hey!” You shouted, wiping the snow out of your eyes before looking up and seeing Mizu sending a punch right for your face. You successfully dodged underneath and swung your leg to send Mizu off balance.

“You must be ready to use all the elements to your advantage.” He instructed, easily jumping out of the way of your kick and backing away. You quickly got up, dodging another one of his kicks before going in for a punch. You sent too much momentum into it which left you way too open and vulnerable leading Mizu to easily knock you off balance.

It was clear he wasn’t going to hurt you, just humiliate you for your lack of understanding of how to fight.

You fell to the ground, looking up at Mizu who was just staring at you, waiting for you to make your next move.

You two continued to fight for some time and you honestly could have sworn that you saw him smile a few times. Sure it might’ve been at your expense but you still felt proud enough to achieve such a feat.

You were slowly but surely getting the hang of it as you went.

Or so you thought.

You had gotten yourself into a position where you had a full plan of attack, but it seemed like Mizu was already eight steps ahead of you because with one simple move, he had knocked you down, now pinning you to the cold and snowy ground.

You struggled beneath his grip, trying to find a way out to attack but it was no use. He was indeed a lot stronger than you.

“Stop fussing, you lost.” He stated with what you could have sworn was a teasing smile. Fighting really brought out a different person in Mizu and honestly you didn’t mind it. It felt as if you two had finally started to get to know each other, even if it was just through a series of dodges and snarky remarks. It took you a few moments to realize he was actually straddling you, very tightly one might add. His hands were firmly holding down your hands and it was clear he was not going to budge.

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by the current situation you were in. It was nothing short of humiliating to practically beg to fight someone only to wind up underneath them, but you also couldn’t help but admit you also felt embarrassed for other reasons.

You looked up at him, and it was just then you noticed that his glasses had fallen off. You didn’t know when, you didn’t know where, all you knew was now you were staring at a pair of bright blue eyes that seemed to be watching you in amusement.

He watched as your face changed from a sour expression to one of confusion,

“What’s wrong, can’t handle losing?” He teased, nearing you ever so slightly.

That was until you muttered,

“Your… eyes.”

With those two words, Mizu’s amused expression dropped suddenly and he jumped off of you and faced away in a matter of seconds. He quickly grabbed his glasses that had gotten thrown off during one of his many expert maneuvers.

You sat up, now staring at the back of the makeshift samurai who didn’t utter another word.

You had heard stories of ‘the demon eyes’ when you were a kid, everyone did. You might’ve believed those stories when you were younger but here stands someone with those ‘demon eyes’ and you saw nothing more than just a very scarred individual. Sure, Mizu was scary good at wielding weapons, but that wasn’t some demonic power, that was pure skill, and you admired him for it endlessly despite never wanting to admit that outloud.

You both sat in silence, you leaning on your hands and Mizu, sitting with his legs crossed and his back towards you. After a moment of just sitting you took a breath in, as you did so you noticed Mizu’s head lower ever so slightly as if he was preparing to hear or feel something he had heard before.

Your eyes softened as you stated,

“Your eyes… they’re very pretty.” You complimented. You could see Mizu freeze for a moment as you stood up, walking just up behind him.

You couldn’t imagine the amount of stuff he had gone through throughout his life, having to deal with people treating him differently for something he couldn’t control. You didn’t need his whole life story to know it was probably rough. It didn’t take a genius to know that considering where you are, sitting in the middle of the woods as the man before you continued to try to track down certain people for a reason unbeknownst to you.

Mizu continued to sit in silence as you kneeled down just behind him, you reached out your arm to touch his shoulder but you hesitated for a moment. Maybe you shouldn’t, maybe you should just leave him alone, it’s clear he is not comfortable.

You just wanted to show him some kind of comfort, even if it was just in the sense of one little shoulder touch, so that’s what you did. Your hand ever so gently rested on his shoulder before you quietly muttered,

“I mean it.”

Mizu’s head ever so slightly turned towards your direction, but before he could say or do anything you took your hand off of him and quickly stood up, quietly rushing back to Ringo who was still carefully preparing your food.

It was only a few more minutes before Mizu followed behind you, making his way towards the fire. Neither of you mentioned what had just happened and you continued to sit in silence just as you had done before. It was as if all the progress you had made to getting to know him while fighting, had gone down the drain.

Until you heard him quietly mutter,

“Thank you.”

[new-revenant]

In a Random Alleyway in Norrisville (2730 words) by FeverProject Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Danny Phantom, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Randy Cunningham & Danny Fenton Characters: Randy Cunningham, Danny Fenton Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Danny Fenton Has A Bad Time, Randy Cunningham Has A Great Time, that basically summarizes the fic ngl, Mentioned Guys in White | GIW (Danny Phantom), Blood and Injury, it doesn’t happen IN the fic but Danny is not doing too good, Generous Use of Ellipsis(…) Summary: For the @dp-crossover-angst-week-event on Tumblr. Prompt - July 9th: Bleeding out in an alleyway. DPxRC9GN crossover. It’s not too angsty-I mean Danny’s having a terrible time, but Randy is Randy, he’s having a great time.

Fic on here under the cut:

Randy loved patrolling. Well, only sometimes. He definitely loved playing Grave Puncher more than patrolling most days. Thankfully, this was one of those days where he was having a honkin' good time. It was just so fun to parkour up and down and all around the buildings in his town, how could he not love that. How could he not love being The Ninja period? Sure it was definitely frustrating and unfair some-well, most times if he was being honest, but still, he was The Ninja, how bruce was that?!

Now, being Norrisville’s protector, he obviously had to help the people he came across who needed his help. Like, rescuing a kitten stuck in a tree, or stopping some random purse snatcher. The usual things people are in need of.

Helping out a guy that was bleeding out in an alleyway? That was new.

Randy was perched upon the edge of a rooftop, looking down at the bleeding, humanoid figure. He has bright white hair and tan-ish skin, and was in this weird, black and white, skintight suit. It kind of reminded Randy of a hazmat suit, if only the hazmat suit was severely shrink wrapped and was painted with tar.

And he was glowing. That. That was not normal for normal humans to be doing. His blood was also glowing. And green. Randy leaned forward, trying to get a better look at the guy. Unfortunately, he leaned forward too much, and swiftly fell off the roof, bumping on everything he could’ve possibly bumped on on his way down. He landed right next to glowing guy.

Randy shook himself off as he sprang up, looking at the guy. The boy looked back at him, eyes slightly unfocused with a bit of glowing, green blood coming out of his mouth. They looked at each for a moment, Randy being confused about what to do. He carefully stepped back and around the boy, all the way to his other side. The boy’s eyes followed him, making Randy feel a bit uneasy. But he was The Ninja, he’ll be fine.

Randy crouched down, scratching his chin in thought. “You don’t look Stanked…” Randy mumbled, a bit loudly, “but you definitely don’t look like a normal human either…”

The odd boy blinked at him, confusion evident on his exhausted face. He mumbled something back, but Randy couldn’t hear it. So he leaned over his face, ear a few inches from the boy’s mouth.

“What you say? You feeling shnasty?”

“What?” the boy croaked, “Wha-what words?”

“Hmm? You don’t know what ‘shnasty’ means?” Randy pulled away from the boy, looking down at him, “Must not be from here then, am I right?”

“…Yeah, yeah.”

“Alright! Now, how about you tell me where you’re from, and I’ll get you back, free of charge. I would take you to a hospital or something, but I don’t think they would take…this well.” He gestured all over the glowing boy’s body.

“Ha!” The boy coughed a bit, “They definitely wouldn’t.”

“Say, do you think you’re going die…soon, if you’re untreated? Because I don’t want any preventable deaths in my conscience. You seem like you’re a…teen? As well, so that would definitely make me feel worse.”

The boy laughed at that, and Randy couldn’t help but smile underneath his mask. Making other people feel better-emotionally or physically-feels great! Great for his conscious.

“Well, I’m already dead, so, I’ll probably get better soon.”

“You’re what?”

“Dead. I’m a ghost. Name’s Phantom, just escaped a ghost hunting group. You…aren’t with them, right? You aren’t wearing white, so I don’t think you are.”

“Huh.” Randy blinked a few times, trying to figure out what was just told to him. “So your name’s Phantom, you’re a…ghost, and you escaped from white-wearing ghost hunters?” Ghosts definitely weren’t the weirdest thing he’d encountered, but it wasn’t within his usual territory.

“Yep,” Phantom said with a pop to the p, “they stopped before I got here, yelling about some crazy ninja in town. Guess that’s you, huh?”

“Exactly! That’s me, The Norrisville Ninja! But you can just call me, ‘The Ninja.’”

“Great, fantastic,” Phantom let out a sigh, “Guess I have you to thank for my short reprieve. Hurray.”

“Yep! You don’t seem too concerned about those hunters though.”

“I’m more concerned about how uncomfortable the ground is.”

“Oh! Let me help you with that,” Randy lifted Phantom up by his armpits, moving him over to a wall to lean on. He was surprisingly light for a ghost-actually, he would’ve been surprisingly heavy for a ghost.

Randy stepped back to observe his work, seeing how he successfully managed to prop up the ghost boy. He looked unamused, for some bizarre reason. Randy stepped a bit closer to observe Phantom’s injuries, and a few were still bleeding. With his quick thinking, he figured out a solution to this. His scarf was magical, like the rest of his suit, and could regenerate after being cut. Which meant he had an infinite supply of makeshift bandages!

Moving quickly, Randy ran around Phantom, holding up his scarf to measure the wounds. Phantom eyed him, confused as ever.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Phantom asked.

“I’m giving you some certified Ninja-Scarf-Bandages!” In a swift motion, he cut up his scarf with his sword into numerous pieces of various sizes, showing them off to Phantom. After a moment, he gave the ninja a thumbs up, and Randy quickly wrapped the ghost up.

“Feeling any better?” Randy asked after he was done.

“Nope.”

“Great! I-I mean, not great. Yeah.”

Phantom laughed again, and it was great until he started coughing. Then he coughed some blood, which was definitely not great.

“That’s shnasty. Which is…probably not the appropriate thing to say right now, but it’s fine,” Phantom laughed at that-he seemed to laugh a lot for a bleeding guy, but he was also already dead, “A-uh, anyways…I have no idea what to do now. I guess you can stay? Here? Until…I dunno, it’s safe?”

“…Really? You’ll…just let me stay here?”

“Sure if you just don’t bother anybody here. I don’t think they would be too happy about a ghost roaming around, you know?”

“Oh I know, ha. You’re…a weird ninja. It’s weird for a ninja to be…roaming around right?”

“Well yeah, but I’m not just any ninja, I’m The Norrisville Ninja. I’ve been the protector of this town for around, I dunno, 800 years?” He said the last part with a smile. Even though he wasn’t actually the ninja for 800 years, the mantle having been passed onto him a little less than a year ago. Still, he had to keep the charade up, it’s safer and also brucer that way.

“800 years?!” Phantom shouted, which made him cough.

“Yep! You seem like you could have some water with all that coughing you’re doing. Wait, can ghosts drink? Or eat?”

“Oh, yeah, I can. Don’t need to but I can,” his voice was very raspy now, “Then I’ll talk more, and stuff. Yeah.”

“Schweet! Do you have any money or something, I forgot my wallet.”

“Heh, yeah, okay. Just…buy me a burger as well,” Phantom stuffed his hand through his chest, pulling out a wallet.

“Oh. My. Cheese! That’s so honkin’ bruce! Your body is like a locker, I wish I could do that. Actually, I’m pretty sure my suit can do that…”

“Just take my money and help, please.”

Phantom held out a handful of dollar bills for the ninja to take. Randy gracefully took the money and counted them, and he could definitely buy more than a water and a burger with this much. Maybe ghosts didn’t understand the concept of money? Of maybe Phantom was just bad at math, or money. Or both.

“You know, you should be a bit more polite,” Randy chuckled as he stored the money in his scarf, right next to his sword. Phantom just looked at him blankly, clearly not amused. “Now, don’t move. I’ll be back in like, 10, 15-ish minutes? Depends on how long the line is, if there even is any.”

“Well, I can barely feel my legs, so I’m definitely not moving anytime soon.”

“At least you can still feel them, right?”

“…”

“Right?”

“…”

“…I’ll-I’ll be going now.”

“Good luck, don’t die.”

“Not planning on it! Smokebomb!” And in a pungent puff of smoke, The Ninja was gone.

….

Danny had no idea what he was going to do. Should he try to escape and pray that he would be able to get back home now, or should he wait and trust in this-apparently 800 year old-ninja, that promised to get him a burger. He was thankfully lucid enough to not mention the GIW by name, since who know what connections this ninja could have, but he did let slip that they wore all white. There was a reason some people called the the Guys In White, and the ninja could’ve picked up on that. He could’ve know that Danny was talking about them.

Was the ninja going to sell him out to them? Was this the end for this already half dead teenager? He couldn’t contact his family, his friends, no one could help him now. Even if this ninja was supposedly 800 years old and also this town’s protector, and if he really was on Danny’s side, could he stand a chance against the GIW?

Danny missed Amity Park, he missed his home. He had strayed too far-ever so slightly too far, far enough that the GIW felt comfortable to give chase. And give chase they did, Danny was sure that he was at leasttwo states away from his home. His family would be worried about him. His friends would be worried about him. How many days has it been? How long has he been gone? Was his family even looking for him yet? Would they ever?

Danny shook his head, he needed to stop thinking. Just stop. It wasn’t doing him any good. He just needed to wait, to hope, to yearn. His stomach churned, it had been wanting food for a while. How long was that while? Danny didn’t know, he couldn’t, he didn’t get the luxury to know, to know anything.

How long has The Ninja been gone? Would he ever come back? If he did, what would happen then? Anything good, anything bad? Where was he, where was him? Danny needed to move but he couldn’t. He was tired but he couldn’t sleep, not yet, not ever until he gets back home. Where was home? Where is he? Where oh where could anybody be? Danny wanted to cry but he couldn’t. He wanted to lie down but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything, he could want to do whatever he pleased. But nothing would come about from simply wanting. From simply yearning.

Nothing good comes from thinking.

A soft thud came from the right of Danny. He froze, anxiety spiking from the sound, from the typhoon of thoughts crashing down onto his mind.

“Heeyyy Phantom,” The Ninja said in a singsongy voice, waltzing in front of him, “I got two burgers! Well, actually three, but I ate it on the way here. Sorry, I was hungry ha ha.” He gave Danny a bag filled with burgers and a water bottle.

“It’s…fine,” Danny sighed. He didn’t really care that he ate a burger bought with his money, he was more peeved about the ninja almost giving him a heart attack.

But that didn’t really matter in the end, Danny should just focus on not starving. The water hadn’t been opened yet, he could tell by how he had to struggle to open the stupid thing. After a few sips of that, he grabbed one of the burgers. It was still wrapped up, looking thankfully untouched. After a few bites of that, he went back to his water. He did that a couple more times until he was finished with the burger. The Ninja had a hand outstretched, napkins in his hand.

“Thanks,” Danny mumbled as he took them.

“Ah, it’s no problem,” The Ninja waved him off, “Feeling any better now?”

“Yeah, actually. Thanks.”

“Alright! Now,” he yawned, “I dunno what to do next.”

“Same.”

“Oh! Wait, I remember you said you’d tell me where you’re from, right?”

“I think you just asked me to tell you-“

“Great! So can you tell me?”

Danny really didn’t want to him. But The Ninja didn’t seem hostile, the worst thing he’d done to him was that he ate a burger bought with Danny’s money, but honestly he deserved a little snack for all the trouble he went through for the ghost.

Danny let out a sigh, “I’m from Amity Park, Illinois.”

“Illinois? That’s like…a couple states over? I’m not that good at geography, ha.”

“I’m…okay at it, I guess. I’m not good at math though.”

“Oh I’m great at math! It’s fun.”

“You’re crazy.”

“And you’re just. Math. Dyslexic. I think that’s a thing.”

“That…would make a lot sense.”

“Glad I could help, yet again,” The Ninja smugly said as he plopped down next to Danny. “Now, how do I get you back to Illinois?”

“I’ll just take a bus or something.”

“Are there any buses that go to Illinois?”

“I don’t know man, I’m tired.”

“Hmm, maybe I could get you into a hotel or something. I’m very popular around here, a local celebrity you know?”

“Ha, yeah,” Danny rubbed his temples, considered his options. If he didn’t take the ninja’s offer, he would be sleeping on the streets, wandering the streets, or get jumped on the streets. He needed to get off of the streets.

“Alright,” Danny stretched his arms, “I’ll go with your plan. Just let me finish my second burger.”

“Schweet! Okay, now we just need to figure out how to make you stop glowing. And bleeding, that’s also important.”

“I heal quickly, my wounds will likely be gone after I finish this,” Danny told him as he unwrapped his burger, “Also, you’ll figure out how I’ll stop glowing soon, so don’t worry about it.”

“Okay then. Enjoy your burger,” The Ninja put his hand behind his head and rested them on the wall, closing his eyes. It would be the perfect time to run away, but Danny wasn’t planning on doing that now. He just had to place his trust in this ninja for now.

A few minutes passed, and Danny was done. He wiped his face and stuffed the napkins into the now empty burger bag. Well, before that he took out the remaining money he had given to the ninja, who had seemingly slipped it into the bag while he wasn’t looking. Into the chest wallet it goes.

“I’m ready,” Danny said as he attempted to stand up. He stumbled a bit, but thankfully he was right next to a wall.

“You good ghostie?” The Ninja asked, standing up much quicker than Danny could dream of at the moment.

“Y-yeah, just give me second.”

Danny stretched a bit after he regained his footing. He looked over at The Ninja and gave him a smirk, before he enveloped himself in a ring of light, transforming into his regular human form.

“Woah!” The Ninja shouted, “What the juice? You look…alive! And like a normal person in normal clothing!”

“Yeah, I can do that. Now, take me the hotel please. Before I pass out.”

“Right on it! I’ll carry you there, just don’t pass out before we get there.”

“I won’t make any promises.”

“Okay, kinda wonk but alright.”

“Half the words you say are nonsense, you know that right?”

“Ah, all words are nonsense, aren’t they? Now climb on my back.” He turned away from Danny and crouched down, turning his head to face Danny and pointed at his back. Danny groaned, he probably wasn’t going to enjoy this, but it’s fine. Sleep and safety would come soon, he just needed to focus on that. He didn’t need to think, he just need to focus on staying awake. He hopped on the ninja’s back, and in a few moments, they were off.

Danny was right in not making any promises about not passing out, as he was already sleeping soundly by the time they got to the hotel.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INTP here. I have read through your blog and it has helped me a lot on reflecting myself and resolving my past issues. I do have one concern that I hope you can address. I tend to realize I mindread a lot as per your blog description (I’ve read through the entire tag), and am actively trying to prevent judging and assuming people’s intention too early/quickly.

However, I cannot tell the difference sometimes between when I understand a person well, vs when I mindread. I want to try to understand people so I can interact with them better. I also have past experiences with being misunderstood before and want to try to give everyone a chance. I believe this is due to inferior Fe issues along with my ego thinking that I am kind. I also want to believe that I understand people, because I can tell if someone is a red flag but maybe that does not have to do with understanding people.

I came up with some solutions such as paying attention and communicating to other people to clear up misunderstandings, but even then people tend to be indirect in what they say and it turns out they are hurt by what I said or secretly angry at me for a while (I did not realize this until they are actually angry at me).

From writing this, I do notice my contradiction: how would people be hurt/angry at me if I “supposedly” treat them right? I admit that I am wrong for doing so, that I have hurt them, and I hope to address my ego in order to be better as a person for myself and other people around me.

I mindread because I am afraid of people potencially being angry/hurt because of me, even when that did not happen, because my social skills are not that well developed, but I acknowledge there might be more underlying reasons to this that I am not fully aware of.

I noticed that you have great perpection skills when understanding people, and I would like to learn the positive aspects. If possible, can you help shine a light on how I should start? Plus, if you can advise me why why people are indirect when communicating that would be great because I am almost always direct in my communication and do not fully understand the nuances of social context, and I wish to understand and treat other people better

--------------------

Socializing and communication are complex topics, so there's a lot to unpack in your question.

(1) Mindreading: Ne development should help with the mindreading problem. Healthy Ti doms have a reputation for being sharp and adaptable because i) dominant Ti only accepts factual information and rises to the challenge of systematizing it for effective judgment/decisions, and ii) the auxiliary function actively monitors and processes any and all changes in factual information.

But when functions remain underdeveloped, Ti-Si always gets stuck working with a very limited and unchanging set of facts, and Ne-Fe is too small in scope to alert you to other possible ways of looking at situations, ways that might get you closer to the truth.

In other words, healthy INTPs always leave room for error. They proceed through life confidently based on the facts they have on hand but always with the awareness that knowledge is provisional and might need to be updated at a later date. They never believe that they know everything, they always keep themselves open to more information, and they take the extra step to gather information that might contradict or disprove what they already know.

However, being P, the tendency to "prospect" for information can go awry when Ne is unhealthy enough to give rise to Ti-Si loop. The above healthy qualities I just listed can easily turn negative and express hidden ego issues, e.g., by making you feel insecure in not knowing, anxious about getting blindsided, and obsessive-compulsive in needing to know more (due to having no clear goal, unrealistic goals, or constantly moving the goalposts).

Contrasting healthy and unhealthy Ne expression, what is the lesson? If you hope to be a healthy INTP, you have to learn how to sit comfortably in ambiguity and uncertainty. If you hope to be a mature INTP, you have to love a challenge and go the extra mile to welcome and embrace ambiguity and uncertainty as vehicles for learning and growing into a more intelligent person.

(2) Theory of Mind: How does the above apply to social life? Relationships are full of ambiguity and uncertainty, are they not? Sure, in theory, solving relationship problems should be a simple matter of good communication and clearing up misunderstandings.

However, in reality, good communication is very hard to come by. Why? Because… people. Human psychology is messy AF. People contain multitudes, and in some cases, multitudes of contradictions. They often don't know themselves well enough to know what they really need/want/like, let alone communicate these things clearly to another person.

What's worse, what people think they know about themselves can sometimes be false, which leads them in all sorts of wrong directions. You brought up a good example of thinking that you are a kind person, yet you keep getting feedback to indicate that you aren't as kind as you believe. Human perception can be very flawed, so how you see yourself and others can get very distorted. This raises the question of how to navigate the messiness.

The first step is to see and accept people as what they really are (Ti). Humans are complicated. They are not programmed or programmable machines. They can want contradictory things. They can change their mind on a whim. They can say one thing and do another. They can believe wholeheartedly in complete falsehoods. They are capable of reprehensible acts. They can also be resilient, steadfast, honest, loyal, noble, passionate, inspired, innovative, determined, dedicated, empathetic, loving, and altruistic. If humans weren't so complicated, social life would be terribly boring.

If you really want to understand people better, you have to exercise better imagination (Ne) and recognize the full scope of their potential, both positive and negative. When you have a very full view of humans, you'll be quicker to recognize the truth of each individual. But when you have a very small and limited view of humans, you'll find yourself constantly confused or blindsided by their behavior.

Some of this fuller view simply comes with life experience, but the majority of it should come from making an effort to expose yourself to different kinds of people and creating opportunities to expand your understanding of human nature.

(3) Ego Development: What does this mean for improving your social skills? Firstly, on your part, you have to see and acknowledge your own complexity. One reason I emphasize the importance of self-awareness is that, without it, you'll never come to see or appreciate your own complexity.

The way you view yourself at age 20 will be very different than age 40. It's not necessarily because you've changed a whole lot in that time, in fact, most people don't change very much throughout life, objectively speaking. What really happens is that you gradually learn more and more about who you really are over time, and that changes your self-perception.

When you're young, ego development is still in early stages, which means the ego is still in a fragile state. As you build a personal identity, you get heavily invested in seeing yourself a certain way, and it can hurt the ego when that self-image gets contradicted. This leads people to become defensive of their self-image and avoid situations that disturb it.

What they have yet to realize is that taking down the false self-image is precisely how one gets closer to knowing the truth of oneself. One must surrender to the pain of that takedown in order to grow. Are you willing to surrender to the pain of realizing that you are not the person you've always believed yourself to be, that you're possibly a much worse person than you thought?

Until you can recognize the truth of your own complex humanity and the full scope of your own positive and negative potential, you will always struggle to understand others, because it is likely that you will remain stuck in a state of projection. Projection means that your perception of others is always tainted by your own unconscious ego issues, i.e., you don't see the world as it is but as you are.

For example, you are a person who prefers to communicate directly, and this unconsciously sets up an expectation that others should do it too or be capable of doing it. Whenever others prove to be very different from you, you get confused or flustered. Your mind isn't open enough to gather the whole truth about people when your first instinct is to assume people are or should be just like you.

Secondly, on the part of the relationship, you have to acknowledge the reality that, at this moment, not everyone is within your capability to understand and is therefore not going to be very compatible with you. There's a reason why we seem to click with some people better than others. While relationships do require work to maintain, there's a certain point at which the expenditure of effort starts to bring diminishing returns. At that point, it might be time to throw in the towel and admit that the relationship isn't going to work in its current manifestation.

For example, if you're looking for someone who is capable of having a mature, honest, and authentic discussion about relationship issues, then you have to weed out the people who haven't yet developed that capability. It's not about being mean or critical; it's about recognizing the facts of what someone can or can't do and making a smart choice about whether it's possible to have a healthy relationship with them.

(4) Exercising Good Judgment: Making evaluations of people and relationships isn't easy because there are a variety of factors to take into consideration. One problem Ti doms often run into is that they don't take enough factors into consideration (inferior Fe), i.e., they are too undiscerning and often just passively take whatever relationships come their way.

When you approach relationships too abstractly or intellectually or flexibly, you can easily fall into the trap of thinking that any relationship can work in theory, if only you did this or they did that. In reality though, the effort it would take to implement those changes wouldn't be worth it due to diminishing returns, or those changes are simply infeasible (and you might slowly destroy yourself or the relationship by trying to force the change).

An important step in acknowledging your own complex humanity is to admit that you have needs, preferences, and desires... AND be okay with them changing over time, as you learn more about yourself. Needs, preferences, and desires should be informing you of what kind of person is best suited to being your friend or partner.

There are billions of people in this world. If you want a positive, enriching, and fulfilling social life, you have to be proactive and selective in finding the right people for you to keep company with. There are only a few basic criteria that need to be present in every relationship, such as: kindness, trust, empathy, etc. But what about the other qualities of the person? What does your ideal friend/partner look like?

(5) Navigating Conflict: An important aspect of having good social skills is accepting the fact that conflict is necessary for relationships to grow over time. A relationship without disagreements and problems isn't a real relationship. The question is whether the two people involved are: i) committed enough to the relationship to make things better, ii) equipped with the relationship skills required to resolve problems properly, and iii) on the same page and want the same things out of the relationship.

To the first point, not everyone you meet will be as committed as you, so you have to use your best judgment about whether it's worthwhile to continue with them. Also, reflect on how committed you are to a relationship and whether it is accurately reflected in your everyday behavior. Remember that Fe is an extraverted function that requires taking action and cannot only be about empty words or silent intentions.

To the second point, as long as both individuals are willing to learn and improve their relationship skills, there will continue to be hope for the relationship to get better. Although, keep in mind that the learning process isn't always linear and smooth. There will inevitably be steps forwards and backwards.

To the third point, you can discuss with people what they want out of the relationship, what their goals are, or what they hope the relationship can become in the future. A relationship has a greater chance of success when there is agreement about which direction to go. If people refuse such discussions or don't take them seriously, then it casts serious doubt over their commitment, which circles back to the first point.

It sounds like you are motivated to improve your social skills. If people aren't being honest with you, you have to get to the bottom of why. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in you not really hearing what people need from you because you keep failing to address the feelings they are communicating, which is a common communication problem. If that's the case, you need to work on your listening skills and communication skills in general. Perhaps the problem lies mainly in the other person not being able to express themselves honestly for whatever reason. Or it could be a combination of the two.

The best you can do is welcome people to be honest with you, by guaranteeing to them that you can handle the truth and encouraging them to speak directly. However, you have no control over whether they can do it. It's their issue to deal with and there's no forcing it.

[thebrightestwitchofherage]

hi um how r u? I would rlly like to see some sources for you saying this is antisemitism. I’m Jewish, and Israeli, and this is genocide. It took me a while to change how I thought about it but I really think that we need to accept that Israel is not the victim here. I know not everyone in the idf is bad bcuz my parents served in it but just look through some tags for a moment. Civilians are being murdered. I know it’s the government’s fault, bcuz again, I am Israeli but ppl speaking up is not antisemitism. This isn’t hate, I just don’t understand your point of view and I want to. Please don’t get mad or report me I am legitimately trying to understand why u think this is antisemitism

Hi, I’m not saying criticising the Israeli government is antisemitic, I literally posted that I hate them earlier today. Here’s a summary of I what I wrote in previous posts about this:

-First of all- I obviously don’t support Civilians dying on neither sides. Unfortunately, the assumptions most anti Zionists make is :

Israeli -> evil genocidal murderer-> deserves death

And if they’re antisemitic enough , it’s more about the religion than the country you’re from.

-suddenly when it comes to Israel/palestine everyone’s involved are the expert (usually they’re factually wrong).

Nobody cares when Palestinians are being slaughtered in Syria/lebanon/yemen etc. for years. Hundreds of thousands displaced and killed .

if they are aware, it’s somehow Israel’s fault.

-this war wasn’t initiated by us. Israel was invaded , hundreds of Civilians were slaughtered and hundreds were kidnapped. People were celebrating the same day and saying our retaliation is a genocide. It is not.

October 7th was a war started on deliberately on our holiday (once again).

It’s antisemitic to constantly demand humanitarian aid for Gazans (which is provided) while not caring that the Israeli hostages held are not getting any medical treatment and have not been visited by the Red cost once since kidnapped.

-the ratio of casualties is unheard of in the history of modern urban warfare. If I’m not mistaken it’s 1:4:1. The idf makes every possible effort to not hurt civilians and that’s not enough for anti Zionists. No other army in the world does all of that in a war . That’s antisemitism.

-The passion and hate against Israelis is unparalleled in every aspect.An Israeli can’t breathe in the public space / online without getting attacked in the comments, let alone feel safe abroad.

They’re yelling death to all Zionists (Jews) and other antisemitic chants. Jews are barricaded in their homes while these anti Zionists are preventing them from gathering, wearing any religious symbols or entering their colleges ffs.if they are “made” as a Jew/ Israeli Jew they’re immediately attacked. It’s not just about anti Zionism/ hating the Israeli government, it’s about hating them the most. Combine that with ignorance , Arabic funding and Jew hatred , and you get the current rise in antisemitism- which has been happening for years.

-people are denying what happened in October 7th or saying it’s justified at best, and mock the Israelis slaughtered , kidnapped and raped at worst.

-Official organisations like UN didn’t call Out what happened or get involved with investigating the sexual crimes until months later.

-often use of blood libels and antisemitic tropes in describing Israel. (Not to mention Nazi propaganda).Eg the recent conspiracy that Israelis are organ harvesting Palestinians.

-using the word “Zionist” as a slur, while

1. Zionism simply means that Jews have the right for self determination in our homeland Israel.

2. It basically means Jew as most Zionists are Jews/ approximately 95% of Jews are Zionist.

-I’m not saying Palestinians don’t suffer, they do. Hamas had every opportunity to make their lives better. Instead they kill them, use them for hiding places for weapons and steal the aid.

—

This is what I remember from the top of my head. I’m sure other fellow Israelis here can tell you more in the comments/DMs. And honestly, talk to your parents about this if they’re Israeli. Ask them about what life was like here, the constant terror attacks , wars and rockets. The complete lack of apartheid.

Edit: I’ve added more, hope that this helps and that people that already reblogged this see.

[sepyana]

Here is what I think about the truth of the Golden witch. I am currently at chapter 12 of episode 5. I should have waited until finishing ep5 before I wrote this, but this is just for me to record my thoughts.

I'm definitely going to get a good grade in Umineko for this. Which is both normal to want and possible to achieve. (Spoilers Ahead)

There is a bit of a problem though, I already knew Shannon was Beatrice even before I started palying the game, or at least a part of her. There are people here tag any and all posts about Beatrice as Sayo so. I tried to ignore it while trying to solve the murders but it's impossible to not mention at this point. Could I have found this out on my own? I'd say yes just because of the process of elimination. But It's not like I can know for sure. This did sour figuring out the mystery for me but what can you do?

Anyway, here is what I think about who Sayo is:

She is a granddaughter of Kinzo's, and the daughter of his child with his mistress. His mistress might have died from an illness etc. she could have commited suicide, had a miscarriage or simply just left Kinzo. The specifics don't matter. What matters is he caged their daughter inside Kuwadorian and raised her as a replacement for his mistress. He raped her, and the baby from 19 years ago was born. The timeline matches up, albeit barely. Kinzo wouldn't just let some random baby from a orphanage be the next potential head. Kinzo's reaction to learning about what Natsuhi did makes me think he was hoping for her to kill the baby. Natsuhi said the servant and the baby didn't die immediately and were taken to the hospital. So, it's definitely possible for the baby to be alive and Kinzo to hide that. This baby was later taken to Kuwadorian and raised there. At some point, Sayo was appointed to be a servant. I'm not sure whose idea that was but I can say that they were an idiot. Maybe they were hoping she would work for a few years and get enough money to leave? We know that she didn't, though I don't remember the reason she gave. My guess is that she either couldn't or she was waiting to see Battler again.

The deal with Epitaph is something I can't really wrap my head around. But I can say this: The gold is real and it is Beatrice's. We know this but we also know there wasn't a witch that gave Kinzo the gold. I don't think it was his mistress that gave him the gold, she'd be a lot more well known then and the topic would surely come up during Ange's investigations. So, more likely, our Beatrice solved the Epitaph. My friend asked what her solving the epitaph would cause or prevent. Now that I think about it, it's definitely possible that she was arranged to solve the epitaph in some way. This can be Kinzo's way of giving her the headship as she is a descendant of his beloved mistress. A direct way of making her the head is definitely out of the question.

I just don't get why she gave solving the Epitaph as a way to stop the murders. She doesn't even follow through on it! The murders still happen!

AND another thing, Since like episode 1 I had the theory that Shannon and Kannon were the same person because Battler hasn't ever seen the two of them in the same room. Kanon's body seemed to vanish in most of the games and Shannon almost always talks to him when they are alone (and Beatrice frequently shows up during these conversations!). Battler acknowledges the two as seperate in ep5 but he is Lambda's (the witch side's) piece by this point. Though, Erika never acknowledges them both as seperate but she should see them when they are in the same room, right? This confusion likely stems from Erika being our human side piece while we are still in Battler's POV. It's a bit sketchy and this does mean he has a reason to pretend Shannon and Kanon are different people. If that's true that can give us some info on how to solve ep5.

It's a bit unfortunate because them being separate would make it a lot easier to solve the murders. Besides, it's hard to justify how no one could recognize they were the same person. When I mentioned this to my friend he said this theory can definitely work if it doesn't violate Knox's Ten Commandments. I know it doesn't since we have proper evidence to dismiss Knox's 10th. But idkkkk. Still feels like a plothole to me.

This is where I assume the "trans woman Beatrice" thing comes from. Shannon seems to be stuck in a subservient role, like some trans women who think they have to bow down to patriarchy in order to be accepted as a woman but overall she is more positive compared to Kanon who is.. absolutely miserable. He has "himself" listed as his dislike. He also looks up to Shannon quite a bit. Sayo was born as male or intersex but she likely didn't know this as Sayo is a feminine name. So Kanon's situation is a bit weird because he has been a servant for quite some time. My guess is that this is experimenting on her part to see if she would like being a man. She might have realized something was weird when puberty hit and she didn't like the changes she experienced.

Well, how does Battler and Beatrice fit into this? I don't think the Beatrice we know is just Sayo, she isn't one individual woman after all. But she the most major element of Beatrice. I will go ahead and say it's possible for Sayo inside the game board and Beatrice to have different motivations. Beatrice shows Battler these murders because she wants him to figure out the mystery. She also knows he loves murder mysteries (he knows enough about them to correct Erika on things). I guess there were a lot of truth in Beatrice's act in ep3 after all. I don't think this was Sayo's motivation though. No way in hell she commited the murders just because he liked the genre.

As for Battler's sin, it was stated in red to not be between Beatrice and Battler because it was actually between him and Sayo. Obviously. You know how he is with one liners. He probably made some promise to Sayo about marrying her or saving her or whatever. Sayo, as isolated as she was, latched onto that promise and developed feelings for him (Though saying developing an obsession with him is more accurate). When he came back 6 years later and made it obvious that he didn't even remember that exchange, it was the final straw that broke the camel's back for her.

[armentas]

Author Ask Tag

Thanks so much @orphanheirs for tagging me!! I'm going to be answering for Haven <3

What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?

There's multiple lessons interwoven with each other, but the very core narrative of Haven is that we see the past through rose-tinted glasses. It's easier to look back and reminisce, then it is to mold our present life into something we don't feel the need to escape from. You must be willing to make difficult, scary decisions, instead of waiting for life to be what you want it to be. Happiness isn't something you find, it's something you make.

Haven is a very dear story to me, and also the most "me" story I'm working on because the idea comes from what is probably the most prevalent theme in my own life. A lot of times, I create stories with the purpose of exploring and trying to solve something personal, so I was Heather (the protagonist), and I sometimes still am. Especially as the political environment changes, I've felt that this idea of trying not to live inside sentimentality is something that can be relatable to other people, too. There are some ways where life innately is just different now than it was back then, and that can be challenging.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

Haven doesn't exactly take place in a world of its own (minus the transported-into-your-childhood-self's-body-and-forced-to-relive-everything-all-over-again part), but because I actually want this to be an interactive text-based game, I've been thinking of mechanics that could probably count in that direction?

The main idea is Heather's anxiety disorder being a mechanic of its own, which right now I'm just calling Panic. Your Panic score starts at zero, but increases depending on what decision you make (for example, speaking up about something would be +10 panic, while staying silent wouldn't rack up a score). If you're too reckless, you can hit max panic which basically results in Heather having a panic attack, and renders you incapable of making your own decisions for a period of time. In a game where the goal is "be proactive to try to prevent your brother's suicide from happening a second time", that can be potentially very bad. If you're too careful, though, that can also be bad, because, like in real life, things that make you anxious can end up being very necessary, and result in a better overall outcome. Let's say the default Panic "health bar" is 50 points--another aspect is that your overall health bar can increase or decrease depending on a decision you make. For example, if you take the risk of talking to your brother about something, and it results in a bonding moment between the two of you, Heather will feel more comfortable doing things like that again, making your tolerance go up from 50 to 60.

It's also going to be fairly evil because there are going to be times where you genuinely don't have a choice but to prioritize yourself in moments that could be game-changers, so people you care about are just going to have to watch you stand there silently instead of helping them out during their breakdown. Haven is not for the emotionally faint-of-heart.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?

There's a lot Heather's trying to achieve. She wants the perfect life--she wants her brother back, she wants a more functional family, she wants the wonder of childhood back, she simultaneously wants to stop being so stunted and find agency. She fundamentally wants an amount of love and attention that no person can possibly fulfill, but Beau (her brother) was closest to that fulfillment.

Here's two things I'm trying to bring awareness toward:

1. Children often aren't treated with the respect they deserve. Being a child is often harder than being an adult, even if it looks idyllic. You can't decide what you eat, what you wear, who you spend time with, how you spend that time without someone else's confirmation. If you're like Heather, this is especially apparent and difficult because of Beau's obsessive parenting. She never has a phone or any social media accounts. Visitors of their home can't watch the news because he "doesn't want to stress her out", resulting in her often not knowing what's going on politically. He paces around the room when she's five minutes late. She doesn't know how to make her own food or do housework even once she should be old enough. This ties into Heather's nostalgia and passivity towards her own life, expecting things to go away on their own or even just be solved by Beau himself. Deciding she wants to be the savior is very new to her and she doesn't exactly know how to go about it yet.

2. Tying into not knowing how to be a savior: someone else's suicidality is a very, very complex thing that one person cannot possibly make themselves responsible for. You can do and say the right thing, but in the end, everything is on the other person's terms. You cannot save someone if they don't want to be saved. Like with nostalgia, I think a lot of suicidality is that feeling of being stuck--your life doesn't look the way you want it to, and it feels like there's nothing you can do. There are decisions that can be made for the better; there's just so much risk or sacrifice behind them that it's absolutely paralyzing. The only way out is to take that leap of faith. It can be anything from taking an art class to cutting a big person out of your life. You may not be able to control every bad thing, but even just changing the parts of your life you can control makes all the difference in your perspective. Unfortunately I can't speak in detail about how this applies to Haven without spoiling things, but as we navigate Heather's and subsequently Beau's childhood, we can see that there are a lot of factors involved in why his mental health has developed this way.

It's impossible to make a story completely universal; all of this is just what comforts me, and the conclusions I've come to, personally. But I hope it can be of comfort to other people, too :)

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Haven takes place over the course of 5-7 years, so it may just be divided by year, with sub-chapters making up noteable moments from each year. I have no clue how many sub-chapters there would be, though... Maybe 6? 6 feels like a good number. So depending on the year count, that'd be anywhere from 30-42 chapters. A bit on the lengthy side but sounds about right.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

It's original content! I'll be using Twine, and when it's done, I'll probably just post it to Tumblr. Or whatever other social media I may be using. I only really use Tumblr.

When did you start writing?

I loved writing 2-4 page short stories in elementary school and passing them around class! Sometimes, they'd be choose-your-own-adventures like Haven. One was a regular story about a boy encountering a slime monster, one was an interactive fiction in an Indiana Jones type labyrinth with spike traps. That's the earliest I remember but apparently I wrote stories even earlier than that. I started actually becoming "serious" about it when I was 12 years old and wanted to write my own warrior cat stories. It all snowballed from there.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

I was genuinely scared of making a writeblr for YEARS. It takes a lot of courage to bear your heart like that for everyone to see, but that vulnerability is so necessary and is what makes your WIPs so compelling! Don't be shy about sharing your writing because there's loads of people just waiting to get hooked on it <3 And if you're someone who doesn't have a writeblr but is considering making one, this is your sign to do it!

I've been meaning to follow more writeblrs recently, but right now some of them are @isherwoodj, @finchmomentwrites, @viscerawrites, @nrivanwrites, @by-thorne, @lavender-laney and @sidhewrites!

[baronessblixen]

Hi! Big fan here😊! If you're still taking prompts: Mulder being obviously jealous with Scully and Sheriff Hartwell in Bad Blood, thank you!😊

Thank you, sweet anon! Here it is. A post-ep for "Bad Blood" obviously. A jealous Mulder, an attempt at humor and the hint of angst may be found here. (wc: 1,349)

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2023

Fictober Day 30: Feelings You Can't Hide

Buck teeth.

He can’t believe Scully is into overbites when- no, he’s not going down that road again. The same thing happened last year when Ed Jerse showed up. Not that Mulder ever met the guy, but he’s seen pictures. What a funny twist of fate that Sheriff Buck Teeth and Mr. Tattoo look like they could be related. His Scully has a type. And Mulder is not jealous. At all.

He reminds himself of that fact every two seconds, lest he forget to smile and not make another biting remark. Whatever his feelings are, Scully deserves more. That’s the reason why he pushed her towards the Sheriff in the first place. A mistake he now very much regrets. He should have known. He of all people, who’s been seduced by his own vampire before. Whatever happened – and either Scully doesn’t remember or doesn’t want to tell him – she’s still wearing the sheriff’s coat.

And he’s still not jealous at all. Not even an iota. Well, maybe a bit. A fraction. He glances over at Scully, almost disappearing into the coat, her hands in the pockets. His blood coils. It’s anger, he justifies. That guy could have done god knows what to Scully. The hospital cleared them both. There was nothing wrong with them.

Mulder winced internally when rape kits were prepared, bu they haven't been touched in any way. There’s not a scratch on either of them. Scully’s theory is that they were drugged so that Sheriff Hartwell and the others could disappear. He thinks she’s right, but so far all he’s done is nod along.

“Are you gonna keep wearing that thing?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it does. Scully musters him, obviously trying to understand what’s wrong with him.

“No, of course not,” she says. “It’s just warm and it’s cool in here.”

“You can have my coat,” he says, taking it off.

“Mulder, you’re gonna be cold.” Except he feels warm. Hot, even. Boiling almost. “Take it,” he says, sounding like an asshole. He hears it, and judging by Scully’s puzzled expression, she does, too. Still, she takes his coat, slipping out of the other one. Mulder can breathe more easily.

Scully giggles when she holds up the sleeves, her hands barely peeking out. The sound opens something in Mulder. He watches her out of the corner of his eye, her sight causing a pandemonium of emotions inside him.

He can no longer deny it; he is jealous. Whether it’s a vampiric sheriff, a psychopathic asshole, or a seemingly normal-looking doctor in a hospital. Scully deserves to find a nice man – emphasis on nice, and not blood-sucking or murderous – and here he is, trying his best to prevent that from happening. Because what if she does? What if the next guy they run into is exactly what she’s looking for? Sweet and kind – someone Bill Jr. will be friends with. Someone who’ll whisk her away on weekend trips where the scariest situation will involve preventing a sunburn.

“Mulder, I asked if you were ready to go home.” Scully is squeezing his arm, her eyes narrow with concern.

“Am I ready?” he asks. He's not ready at all to do this. To consider the possibility that one day - and maybe soon - she could be gone. Because of some guy who can give her everything Mulder can't.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Did they check your head?” She runs her fingers through his hair and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that they did check him for head trauma and that her way of checking is more of a caress than anything else.

“My head is fine,” he says finally.

“It better be because I’m not facing Skinner alone.” He gives her a look that he hopes is reassuring.

*

He hasn’t stopped thinking about it. About his revelation. That’s why when they talk to Skinner, he’s only half listening, reiterating everything Scully says.

“This is your story,” Skinner says, glancing at both of them across from him. They share a quick look before they nod.

“That is essentially… exactly the way it happened,” Scully says slowly.

“Except for the part about the buck teeth.” The room falls quiet. He knows he shouldn’t have said it, but he hasn’t slept well these past few nights. Last night, he dreamed about a hat with big white teeth following him around, trying to bite him. Skinner sighs, rubbing his eyes, and for once Mulder gets it. Scully’s eyes are on him and he feels them burn into the side of his face. This isn’t over for him, no matter what Skinner is about to say.

“You’re dismissed,” their boss says, directing his attention elsewhere; a clear sign that they should leave. Mulder stumbles over his own feet in an attempt to get out of the office. Scully, however, is at his heels. How she can keep up with him might be the greatest conundrum of them all.

“What was that?” she hisses once they’re in the elevator, on the way down to their office.

“What was what?”

“Why do you keep insisting that he had buck teeth?”

“Why are you always attracted to idiots?” Another thing he knows he shouldn’t have said. “I’m sorry, I-… I haven’t been sleeping well.” It’s a flimsy excuse and the fire in Scully’s eyes doesn’t dissipate.

“You’re one to talk, Mulder. This was unprofessional. In front of Skinner. It’s bad enough when you made fun of it before but in front of our boss? What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“I’ll say. Why are you so obsessed with what he looked like?” He owes her this. But first, he’s saved by the bell. The elevator door opens and Scully steps out first. He follows the click of her heels until they’re in their office where she leans against the desk, her arms folded in front of her.

“I’m waiting,” she says, her eyebrows raised.

“I was just surprised,” he explains. “That you’d be interested in someone like… that.”

“Like what, Mulder?”

“He wasn’t the brightest bulb, Scully. You must have seen that. I thought you’d be more, um- I thought maybe you’d go for someone who’s more…”

“More what?” she asks.

“Someone who’s intellectually on your level.”

“Like you?”

“I didn’t say that,” he replies too quickly and he sees the corner of Scully’s mouth twitch.

“I may have thought that Sheriff Hartwell was nice enough looking,” she says, sounding almost bored. “I wasn’t planning a life with him. And you just- should I remind you of Detective White?”

“Who?”

“Oh, come on. Or Bambi.”

“Bambi was a scientist,” Mulder says defensively.

“Yeah, she was,” Scully mumbles, looking away. “Either way, I have to deal with you being… interested in other people way more often than the other way around. And I don’t ascribe them physical attributes they don’t possess. So what was that?”

“I’m sorry, Scully. I truly am. I was just-,” he looks at her. Can he say it? Can he admit it to her? If he admits that he was jealous, what will happen next? They’re not there yet. He can admit it to himself, but he’s not ready to face the consequences of his feelings.

“I was insensitive. I was worried your feelings for Sheriff Bu- Hartwell might interfere with the case.”

“That’s it?” she asks and he nods, looking down at his feet. “You’re sticking to that story?” He lifts his head to look at her. She’s not believing a single word.

“Admit he didn’t have buck teeth.”

“What? He did!”

“Admit it, Mulder. Or tell me the real reason.”

“Fine,” he says with a sigh. All he has to do is say it. Simple words. ‘I was jealous, Scully’. How hard can it be? He, the defender and searcher of the truth, is shying away from it.

“I- he didn’t have buck teeth. Happy?”

“It’ll do,” she says, before she walks right past him and out of the basement office, making him wonder what exactly she means by that.

[damnfandomproblems]

Survivor of purity culture: the religion i was a part of/born into taught me that my entire worth and existence revolved around sex and that I must stay sexually pure or else I am worthless, I am a whore, and I will/must suffer because I am a whore. If I want sex, think of sex, invite others to have sex with me, or tempt them, even accidentally, or sex is forced upon me, I am now impure and a whore. I can not show my specific parts of my body, or else I am tempting because I am a just vessel for sex, I am sex, I can only ever be perfect or a whore. If I sing, dance, or even just look at someone, it can be taken as me giving them permission for sex so I must not do or even want to do those things, or else I am a whore. If I am raped, I am impure and may even be forced to marry my rapist in order to try and make up for my impurity, and it will be called honorable, because I am now a whore. If I fail to remain pure for my future husband, I may be abandoned, verbally abused, physically abused, tortured, possibly even killed because I am an unpure whore. Once I menstruate, I am even more sexual, and even more disgusting. I must always allow my husband to have sex with me, even if I don't want it, or else he has a right to force it, because I am just vessel for sex to be acted upon, there's no reason for me to refuse my husband sex because my sex is his, I should not want to own my sex unless I am a whore. Sex only exists for reproduction, and to have sex for pleasure is to make me unpure and a whore. If a sex is shown in a book or television, that is evil because is tempts sex, it might inspire sex, and I should never tempt or want sex. I must hate this, or else I am impure whore. My whole existence is defined by, and thus, reduced to sex. I escaped this region and the sexual culture around it I was forced to submit too. I am going to give a label to this specific kind of religious culture so that I and other surviors, and even current victims who are still suffering under it, can find each other and share our experiences of it. This is purity culture, a religious based culture centered around people, mainly women, being and remaining "sexual pure" less they be considered less than nothing/a whore. While there are other religious aspects that are also inherently abusive, such as moral purity in general that all people are subjected to under the religion indiscriminately, purity culture refers specifically to the sex-based aspects that are more often than not are used to control and dehumanize, and opress women, but can sometimes be used against men, and particularly homosexual men, sense they're relationship is not based on reproduction and their sex only exists for pleasure

Proshippers: omg yay 🥰 I'm so happy you have this term to describe yourself and your experiences with ❤️ We love this term and help preach the word so other surviors can find each other 🙏

Antis: hey i don't understand how you can write in graphic detail about a six year old child's anus and/or vagina being raped so violently it is being torn apart and bleeding with every thrust and may even prolape from the sheer violence of this rape, and also describe in detail how the child screams and trashes around and how arousing their desperate fight and begging to stop being raped is, while also calling it hot and sexy every two paragraphs, in the author notes, and in the tags, and also go on to giggle with other people in the comments about how hot and sexy and fantasty it is unless you are pedophile/a danger to children. I am scared that you may want to rape real children and cause them life long trauma because their suffering and trauma is pleasurable to you, and so I am going to treat you accordingly to my belief that you pose a risk of tangible, physical harm and try and drive you off the internet in order to try and prevent a child from getting groomed and abused by you. I don't think you want to sexually corrupt the children, as I don't believe in sexual corruption, or that you want to make them unpure and whores, I think you just want to physically hurt them, and I want to protect them being hurt. I don't understand how the brain may like tadoo things when described/detailed in fiction but not when done real people in the real world, and so I lash out and react and treat these situations as equal, because in my mind, they/you and genuine predators are equal in the sense of harm risk

Antis: hey i don't understand how you can write a sibling x sibling or parent x child fic and constantly remind everyone how consensual and healthy and non abusive this ship is every two paragraphs, and go and giggle with other people in the comments about how cute and wholesome and consensual and healthy this incest relationship is unless you genuinely believed incest is consensual and healthy and not the result of extreme grooming and abuse 99% of the time. I am scared you may want to abuse your family, are abusing your family, and/or supporting people who abuse their family. I don't think you are making your family or encouraging others to make their family sexually unpure because I don't believe in sexual pureness, I think you are a risk to them and to other who may use what I perceive as your encouragement for other harm their families and want to run you offline to minimize the spread of I perceive to encouragement of abuse because I cannot understand how the brain may like tadoo things when described/detailed in fiction but not when done real people in the real world, and so I lash out and react and treat these situations as equal, because in my mind, they/you and genuine preditors are equal in the sense of harm risk

Proshippers: omg these guys are puritans!!!!!! Their disgust, hatred, and harrassment is a result of purity culture!!!

Survivors: No, it's not?? They're not harrassing you because they think you're impure or encouraging others to be impure, but because they can't understand how you can fantasize about something dark within the realm of fiction but also dislike it IRL?? They think you're at risk of genuinely hurting or encouraging others to hurt other people, not that you're at risk of tainting/damning yourself and others?? Nothing about their dislike is even religious based. They're not scared of you doing spiritual damage but tangible physical damage. Please don't misuse this term I made to describe the specific religious and sex based trauma inducing culture I experience to describe their behavior, it's mudding the meaning of my term, please find a different term or make your own to describe these specific people and their beliefs/actions. I understand their harrassment isn't right, and I'm sorry you're being harrassed, but they need to learn that they have a right to be disgusted but that their disgust doesn't justify harrassment. These are scared people being violent out of misplaced fear they think is justifed. They veiw their abuse as self-defense and defense of others from people who pose a risk of physical, not spiritual, harm, and you trying to get them to stop being abusive by telling them they're just fighting against you doing spiritual harm won't work, because they don't care about spiritual harm. Teach them that you don't want, nor encourage physical harm because that is the harm they believe you're going to do/encourage if they're willing to actual listen and you genuinely want to try and change their minds, or block them rather them feeding into their paranoia which is only going to make them feel more certain in their misplaced fear of you/other proshippers. That's not even mentioning how some of these antis are also just straight up children who, developmentally, are still self absorbed and literally cannot yet fully differentiate between them as irl minor and a character labeled a minor as piece of fiction. They don't hate and harrass you because your a degenerate whore trying to tempt them and other children into also being degenerate whores, but because they think you're attracted to real children too and are pedophile, and pedophiles are an inherent risk to children, a.k.a. them! They genuinely think they are risk by you, and need time to mature and learn otherwise, debating is useless with them, just block them

Proshippers: But how else am I supposed to describe them!? It's literally purity culture! Definitions change, I change the definition to include this! Purity is about all religious bigotry and toxicity, not just sex-based bigotry and toxicity! Purity culture isn't even based in religion either! All bigotry and toxicity and abuse is purity culture! So shut up and let me use your MY term because I need it!! They just think all we want to do is corrupt the youth and encourage everyone to be dirty, filthy degenerates! They just care about us doing perceived icky spiritual damage, not real physical harm, or else they wouldn't care!! You just think antis are innocent helpless uwu babies who need coddled and their nappies changed

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[velvetvexations]

I think Velvet Nation has their heads screwed on tight and would understand that "I'm prone to attention/praise-seeking behavior" is not mutually exclusive with having some kinna "genuine" moral framework. Like, you could say that literally everyone only ever does something good because it makes them feel good. Ever act of charity either results in dopamine or prevents guilt at not having done so. Everything a human being does is selfish when you reduce the action to it's most basic, chemical level.

But with narcs it's different, there's this assumption that if a narc does something good they're standing there actively thinking "haha, you fool, I don't care about suicidal queer youth at all! I only donated five hundred thousand dollars to The Trevor Project so you would give me praise!". But consider that maybe, like, someone with NPD wants to be the best person they possibly can be? That they might not be satisfied with themselves if they didn't feel they were moral enough?

Some people go hard on being outsiders with rough edges. And you know, why the fuck shouldn't they? Even trying to do good gets them accused of being predators specifically for trying to do good. No shit some of them decide "then let me be evil" and embrace the fact that they're perceived as self-centered assholes. Yet, even then - they're talking openly about it all the time, it's a core part of their identity, that makes it difficult to fly under people's radar to secretly break them into being a worshipful slave.

But guess what? Having been raised by my mother, I can understand why someone with undiagnosed NPD can be a really fucking bad time for someone close to them. I'm so sympathetic to anyone who's actually suffered abuse from someone with NPD, because it sucks, it's bad.

It's like how I feel whenever TERFs complain about trans-identified males appropriating the pain of menstruation - I'm so willing to give any and all people who get periods that that fucking sucks and regardless of gender identity or anything else I understand and appreciate the fortune of not having to go through that. A transfem friend once told someone she was jealous of them menstruating and I was thinking like "I get how dysphoria is complicated and that can be something you have a valid desire for but holy fuck please please please never say that to a cis woman again", not because she was "appropriating" anything, but because shit like that is a miserable time for the people that go through it and it's desirable to respect that. So it sucks when I see TERFs pushing that line as though my respect in that regard isn't worth anything.

(to be clear, people who think I'm a crypto-TERF, I mean respect towards menstruating people generally, I have no respect for TERFs in any regard and am happy for them specifically to just cope and seethe about it)

The point of this tangent is that I'M REASONABLE. I CAN WORK WITH YOU. If anyone comes to me in good faith I'm not ever going to dismiss that sort of thing. Hell, I said the other day that if someone thought "Mormon" was a slur above simply being disrespectful I'd tell them to touch grass, but if that hypothetical person actually was like "yeah I get why you feel this way but I have these reasons it hurts me and I wish people wouldn't use it so it feels like a slur to me and it sucks that my situation is automatically so irrational to everyone else" I'd be like...I'm probably going to keep saying it because everyone else said it wasn't a problem and it's likely to come up in the future, but I'm really sorry, if you're a follower of mine maybe there's a tag I can use?

My own immense charity and grace in writing that is literally bringing a tear to my eye, which is what being a narc is like. Or maybe that's just because I'm also autistic and get moved by things like that very easily without making a distinction as to if it's coming from me or someone else. But either way, I guess, there are people who want me to just not fucking bother, lest I cloak my narcissism from my helpless prey.

[kidflashimpulse]

I have a question: Do you know if the series explains why Dr Dorado did not take his family to the United States? I am aware (as an Argentinian) that Eduardo and his father are a bit stereotyped but the choice for Mr. Dorado to leave his family in Argentina is a bit strange. Because otherwise, the only explanation I see is that his job was considered dangerous, so he decided to leave his family to prevent them from being hurt. (Sorry for coming straight to you with this question but I have a hyper fixation on Edu and you are the one I see the most in his tags 😅)

no worries i’m happy to answer edus my boy i love talking about him :D (lmfao my bad for practically spamming his tags 😭)

i like ur explanation ! i can see that being a reasoning, i mean we know that STAR labs is always involved in all sorts of stuff so …

the show has never given any particular reasoning for why Sr left his son with either his (or his wife’s) father (i.e Eds granddad). All we know is that Sr studied Zeta-beam tech for two decades and at some point moved to the US.

i don’t have one explanation set in stone, but here r some possible reasons he could’ve just went himself without his son (they’re not necessarily the most logical, just possibilities): either he felt like he didn’t want to remove his son from a place that he knows as home and had enough trust in the granddad being able to take care of him in the mean time. Considering Ed was young when his dad left, sometimes parents feel like they don’t want to remove them from an environment they feel comfortable with.

or if they would’ve moved, he’d either have to take the grandfather with them or possibly just leave him alone, which he maybe didn’t want to do and felt better leaving Edu behind with him too to give him company (doesn’t make it right but again parents can think like this sometimes). Also he might’ve thought sending money back to them might’ve been more fruitful than having the full family with him. Old people can feel very strongly about not wanting to leave their home behind.

Sometimes also with ppl who leave the country they don’t necessarily plan on just staying there, they return back (in this case to Argentina) frequently. And with the zeta tubes maybe this was something easy for Sr to do at first, but i can see this becoming less and less through the years (just something that i feel like can naturally happen especially with someone so consumed by his work like Ed Sr) and Ed grows more angry and pissed at his dad for being there less and less and that’s what prompts him to say fuck it and runaway to go to his dad.

Also we know that Eds mom is not in the picture (for unknown reasons, either leaving the family or because of death) so maybe Sr didn’t want to be around the place and people that might remind him of her as much and distance himself.

But I see this as unlikely cause despite all his shortcomings, Sr is shown to care very much about his son. I feel like a likely reasoning would’ve been something that started with good intentions but then through the years just didn’t work out as well as he hoped, prompting Ed to run away from home.

i also think something worth considering is he maybe felt the granddad would be able to take better care of Eduardo than him, because he knows how much work takes up his life and he wouldn’t want to be an absent father to a son who’s then alone most of the time in a new place and new environment. He might’ve reasoned to himself that it would’ve been better for Ed to stay home with his granddad who would be there when he needs him. And he would then try to visit when he can.

the logical thing would’ve been to take his family with him, but people often try to make things work out despite it not necessarily being the easiest or best solution.

so no the series doesn’t say anything about it, but i would sure be interested to know what reasoning they have :) thanks for the ask <3

[asoulofatlantis]

You know... I do not want to partake in the shipping war and I belong to the people who say "Both ships are valid" even tho I do have my preferences. But while scrolling the tags on Tumblr I walked straight into the "Tifa got an actual Kiss and Aerith doesn't" - discourse and I think it's funny.

Cloti Fans always say that Aeriths feelings for Cloud are actually because of Zack. Yet, when she doesn't kiss him, even tho there is still a lot of Zack in him, it is a win for Cloti? Hardly! If you think about it that way, Tifa kissed a fucked up Zack version of Cloud in her event and not the actual, real Cloud. Aeriths wanted to find the "real Cloud". This is why they didn't share a kiss, because this wasn't the "real Cloud". Tifa was fine kissing a man who was not the "real" Cloud on the other hand. Which puts this Kiss kinda into a bad light.

I have not yet seen the scenes, but from what I saw and heard, I stay with what I said in the first game, that SE made it really hard for Tifa on multiple occasions. It does look like she has a leg up here, because she got a kiss. But thinking about it... how much worth did this kiss have at that point? It's not like I am saying real Cloud doesn't have feelings for Tifa, its just... Tifa kissing him, when she knows he is not fully himself and his brain is kind of fucked up right now makes you question her a little bit.

And that has been an issue ever since the first game. When the plate was about to fall on sector 7 and Cloud could choose who to wake up first, it so happens that Aerith is the one jumping up, being all like: "We have to save the people in sector 7!" even tho most of them were likely just a bunch of random strangers to her and she KNEW she couldn't save them and yet she desperately wanted to try anyway. When you wake up Tifa first, her first thought is not saving her friends and neighbors, her first thought is her jealousy and she asks Cloud about Aerith. If you watch both scenes in comparison, it makes Tifa look really bad. In her "Date" - Scene in Remake, she also first talks about Aerith. She eventually gets her cute moment with Cloud, but first we talk about Aerith. In Aeriths Dream-Sequence with Cloud, they only talk with and about each other and even possible feelings for each other. They do not talk about Tifa. Or Jessie. Or anyone else. And as I've heard, even in her freaking Golden Date, Tifa and Cloud first talk about Aerith (and Zack) and I do not understand why SE can not give Tifa a moment with Cloud that is just for and about them.

And once again, putting the dates in comparison, yes Tifa gets a Kiss, but if you watch Aeriths date afterwards, you are made painfully aware that the man Tifa kissed wasn't even the real Cloud for gods sake. Making you wonder if she was so desperate that she was willing to Kiss a Cloud that wasn't fully himself, instead of waiting to Kiss the "real Cloud" eventually.

I mean "Hey Cloud, do you remember our first kiss?" - "Ah yes. That was when I was still partly impersonating Zack and got controlled, manipulated and brainwashed by Sephirot every now and then." doesn't sound so good.

Also... if Aerith had kissed Cloud, people would have said she kissed him because of Zack. So this way, was the best outcome for the Clerith ship.

It is sad tho... that we likely never get the chance to get our Kiss-scene, given that fate was not prevented in the end... oh well...

[mercurial-space-case]

hey you mentioned in the tags of a post that stopping doing compulsions isn't the only recovery option for ocd, could you elaborate on that?

Absolutely! Caveat that I'm just one person, and while my therapist did approve this it's not really something I've heard talked about outside of my experience. I am not a therapist, following this advice could potentially be dangerous, I recommend trying the usual method first.

Under a cut for my comfort. Warnings for coping with intrusive thoughts/delusions without reality checking, magical thinking, etc.

This will not solve the problem of having intrusive thoughts; this is about accepting they're a part of your life and coping with it.

I tried the typical method of breaking them, and sometimes it works! Not usually, but it's worth trying for specific compulsions that are harmful or dangerous. The problem for me is that it doesn't change the way your brain works. I still had the thoughts that the compulsions were helping, but without any way to keep them under control or any way to cope with them. I, without fail, developed different compulsions to cope with them.

The typical therapy approach recommends I just keep doing it! Again, I'm sure that works for some people. It wasn't worth it for me. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, I was inconsolable and all I could think about was all the terrible things I knew were going to happen because I didn't follow through.

I have 2 things that have helped me. Spirituality and understanding my brain.

Spirituality for me is very different from what I've heard most people describe. Magical thinking is a core component of OCD, and religion can make it worse, or be its focus in the example of religious OCD. If thats part of yours this one probably won't work. For me, though, I lean into the magical thinking. I trust that the universe wouldn't put more on my shoulders than I can handle, and other people with rituals will pick up any of my slack. I still do the things that help, because I genuinely believe they prevent the things I'm worried about, but when I can't (I'm in a rush, I'm in too much pain, they would hurt me or someone else,) I put my faith in something greater to make up for it. For me, I believe when I get random spikes in rituals when I'm not in a rushed or stressful situation, I'm picking up someone else's load, and this brings me a lot of comfort.

The above method, I imagine, could be very dangerous if you have severe schizotypal symptoms or are not good at double booking. I'm very good at double booking, which is part of why this works for me. It doesn't really treat the root problem, but it prevents the spirals caused by being unable to fulfill a compulsion.

I haven't had any success with this one (partially because of the spirituality coping mechanism!) but if you have a way of making a new compulsion manually, do a reset one. It will save you so much pain and suffering trying to do something just right when, inevitably, you are human and don't do it perfectly. Just reset and try again. (ex. I have a compulsion of counting my steps in 3s, but with so much going on in my head I miscount sometimes. A reset might look like "stop, tap your toes together 3 times, continue" and then start over your counting. It should be something easy you can do almost always.)

2nd is something I learned in ADHD coping mechanisms! Understand your brain and work with it. When are your compulsions worst? Typically the answer is in stressful situations, as well as places or times or around items/people that trigger them. Why do they happen? They're a coping mechanism! Get other coping mechanisms, avoid the things that trigger spirals when you can, bring comfort objects with you (I highly recommend having an accessory, a very light jacket, and a winter jacket for this if possible) that calm you down. Bonus points if you can assign protective qualities to them, or compulsions! (ex. I am safe when I wear my jacket (DISTINCTLY *NOT* I AM UNSAFE WITHOUT IT), my jacket keeps me safe from intrusive thoughts, my jacket makes up for it when I can't do compulsions)

I'm gonna say this again so it really hits home, this is what I've tried and has worked for me. You've asked me to share and I am, but if you have access to a therapist I highly recommend getting it approved by them first because I don't know how these methods might interact with the way you work. Please please please be careful.