#i am too autistic for these little idiots

[ctrl-alt-deleting-yr-face]

mentally grabs me and my two moots’ ocs and shakes then around in my foaming mouth like a rabid animal

i’ve been describing them in my head as the “yeah let’s fuckin waltz into a burning building” trio and i ADORE THEM to a very normal (lie) extent

i have plans for two whole drawings. Four technically, considering one idea is a set of three drawings. we’re deep into the hyperfixation now gamers

[alilaro]

not me giving into the autistic trauma-ridden call that is Bluey

[th3-c0rps3-r0gu3]

Arranged marriage

Chapter three

Royal au

Princess Natasha X queen autistic reader

Warnings: Natasha being a bitch. Natasha being jealous. Woman flirting with y/n. Swearing (minor) lemme know if there anymore. Natasha getting feelings? Oblivious y/n

Natasha pov

I want to rip out my eyes. Why on earth am I here. This is so stupid. Riding in a carriage with this idiot queen. Those are my first thoughts as I stare angrily out the window of the carriage me and queen y/n are sitting in. Said queen is hiding from the crowds of people outside the carriage. She's so backwards. Never wanting too many people around and only tolerating socialisation for a specific time frame before vanishing for sometimes days. In my opinion she's not fit to be a queen.

Fresh air finally. I think to myself as me and the idiot behind me climb out the carriage into the town square. People have crowded near the carriage. Ofcourse they have. Their "queen" is here. I grumble slightly as the guards help down y/n. Gods she can't even get out a carriage by herself what a useless idiot. I don't know why but my thoughts of rage and hatred have increased towards y/n. Perhaps it's to make up for the fact she's cute and her hands are soft and she really nice. Like right now with how she's thanking the guard who helped her over and over like the absolute sweetheart she is. What. No. Absolutely not. Y/n is a idiot on the throne and I will murder her. I don't find her cute I don't find her sweet and Queen y/n is not a sweetheart.

There's a wyvern on that houses roof. I wonder if y/n will notice it and rant about its species. I already know it's a wyvern because y/n said earl- why am I thinking that. It's just an idiot dragon. And boom y/n has seen it. She's ranting again. Gods I hate it. What on earth is a blood bellied wyvern and why does it matter. That dragon was black not red. I hate cobblestone too now that I think about it. My heels keep threatening to buckle beneath me. Good thing I'm an absolute goddess and can walk in heels anywhere.

Y/n pov

The carriage ride to the town square was quiet. I didn't want to interrupt Natasha too much. And if I spoke even a word I'm pretty sure she'd tell me to shut it anyway. Besides looking out the window was fun. I saw so many different dragons. I wish I could've been able to get a proper look so I could see what species they are. There's so many people outside watching the carriage though. I should've held this off until my social battery filled again. I am going to hate this trip. I really should stop letting Natasha's parents coerce me into stuff.

Finally the carriage stops and the doors open and fresh air hits me like a train. I go to step out but a guard offers me a hand. I have told them to stop doing that. They really should listen I can get out of my own carriage. But I accept his help not wanting him to feel foolish. The cobblestone streets are filled with people and horses and carriages. I like the town. Aside from the bustling people and market stalls scattered around the town square it's a nice break from the palace. A nice break from being a queen. Princess Natasha is scowling. Like always. I am pretty sure it's her default expression.

Me and the princess have walk a little now. Passed a stall selling dragon egg remains. I don't like those stalls. They often steal and break dragon eggs to get the product. I shudder slightly. Natasha hasn't been paying any attention. She's been grumbling about idiots and cobblestone. She wore heels so I guess that's why. Should've worn flat shoes like me. I did tell her so. I look up at the houses around us and.. no way. A blood bellied wyvern right there on the rooftop of a civilian house. They only come down this way in the winter! I've never seen one before aside from in books.

My mouth is running again. I never know why I do this. But I excuse myself mentally this time since I've never witnessed this dragon before. Their scales are reflective of their blood colour which is why they're called blood bellied wyverns. Well the belly part is because you see the actual veins and blood but still. I haven't had a single interruption from Natasha yet. She's just walking silently beside me as I rant. I slow down and pause looking at the queen feeling a bit bad now. I must've pissed her off in some way again.

"are you ok princess?"

I ask hesitantly. I don't like the way Natasha has paused. She's staring at me funny and I'm prepared for her to scowl and scream at me. She huffs instead.

"I'm fine just keep walking."

I blink surprised as Natasha keeps walking and I speed up to catch up to her.

Natasha pov

She's still ranting. Something about the wyverns scales reflecting their blood colour.. oh that's why it's called whatever it was. I can't help but steal glances at y/n. She's so annoying. So very annoying. And absolutely perfect at the exact same time. No. I won't go down that rabbit hole. I am not stupid. Falling in love is for pitiful useless peasants. Not royalty. Why does my heart not agree with my head. It's stupid. I'll fix it.

"are you ok princess?"

Y/n's voice stops me. That's not about dragons. I glance down at her attempting a scowl but I can't respond. She's looking at me with wide y/e/c eyes and I can't help but find her expression adorable. No. No no no no no. She's not adorable and she's not cute. I huff slightly shaking away all those intrusive thoughts

"I'm fine just keep walking"

I scowl again as I pick up pace once more. Y/n speeding up to get back to my side. She's so small. Like a puppy. No. Absolutely not. Puppies and y/n have nothing in common. I'll kill her. And I won't feel bad about it and I won't regret it. Everything will be fine. I go to yell at y/n as per normal but she's not by me anymore. I glance around and.. there. By a stall selling books and scrolls. I stand and watch her annoyed. Ofcourse she'd stop to look at scrolls and books. And judging by her expression it's dragon bullshit again. The woman serving her is leaning over the counter and talking to y/n about different species. That grin on the merchants face. That's not a friendly grin...

It's been ten minutes and y/n has not stopped talking to the merchant. She's bought atleast three books and five scrolls. And that merchant is clearly flirting with y/n. Doesn't she know the queen is engaged. To me no less. Why is this bothering me. I mean I should be annoyed it's taking so long that's normal but why am I pissed that the queen is being flirted with. Why does it irritate me more than the books. I want to tear that merchant's eyes out and turn them into a necklace for y/n to wear and I don't know why.

She touched her arm. That merchant touched y/n's arm. And I don't like it. Rage hits me like a brick. That bitch can't touch what's mine. There is a clear engagement ring on the queen's finger and it's public knowledge that y/n is betrothed to me. I storm over absolutely enraged at this pathetic sellers attempt to steal MY y/n. Swiftly wrapping an arm around y/ns waist I glare down my nose at this merchant. Watching in sick satisfaction as she backs up scared. Good to know she recognises me.

"back the fuck away from my fiancee."

I snarl. Pulling y/n closer to me. She's so small and she's looking at me shocked. I'll deal with it later. That merchant gets the hint and backs up mumbling apologies and handing y/n her books. I grab them and pull the queen with me away and back towards the carriage. I don't y/n until we are both in the carriage and leaving.

Y/n pov

I saw a dragons scroll and books stall. That looked fun so I told Natasha I was looking at it and went over. I haven't seen this stall before and it has so many books and scrolls. Most I already own but a few I don't! I immediately purchase the scrolls and books I don't have. It would be foolish if I didn't. A waste. Besides I'm the queen I can do as I please. The merchant running the stall is wonderful too. She's really friendly. Immediately we are in conversation about gilded bronze dragons and their subspecies. I haven't met a single other person who could talk dragons with me.

Don't recognise the touch at first. The seller just put her hand on my arm and smirked at me. I blink and smile back not really knowing what's happening before I'm grabbed into someone and the merchant is backing away. I frown wanting to continue talking about dragons and books still. I glance at the person who grabbed me prepared to tell them off for grabbing me politely because yelling at people is Soo mean and I don't have the heart until I realise the person who grabbed me is princess Natasha romanoff.

"back the fuck away from my fiancee."

Natasha scowls at the merchant as she pulls me closer. I didn't realise how much taller the princess was compared to me. Jesus Christ am I actually that short. I blink slightly and glance around trying to gouge out if this is normal or weird and nope this is definitely weird the townspeople are looking at us funny. I'm about to speak until Natasha grabs my books and scrolls and begins dragging me back to the carriage. I don't even argue with her I'm in a state of shock. I never thought I'd see the day Natasha would get... Jealous?

A/n: I am sorry this is so late I didn't like the ending originally and rewrote it like three times so I haven't been on much but I've started chapter four and I will go back to normal posting again I promise.

Tag list:

@cd-4848

@idkwhatever580

@gemz5

If you wanna be added to the taglist just ask in the comments:)

[regregregulusblack]

My official intro post . ⋆✮ ˚ . ✩°｡⋆｡

𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘. My name is Regulus Black, and no, you are NOT allowed to call me Reg or Reggie.

A photo my friend Evan took of me without my permission. I will never forgive you, @barbie-wants-to-be-me-fr !!!

I am intersex and I go by he/they pronouns. I don’t like to label myself, but at least I am not straight. I am single and not looking for anyone at all at the moment. I am also autistic and have ADHD. NOT the wild sort. The fucking-tired-bitch-stfu-sort.

My interests:

• Art

• Quidditch (I’m a seeker)

• Poetry (both reading and writing)

• Reading books

• Defence of the Dark Arts

• Analysing every single lyric in every single Taylor Swift song and crying about it

• Makeup

On this blog I will be posting quotes, poetry, art, photographs and selfies and just silly little things that I feel like sharing. If I see any posts about me, I will read them and BEWARE, I will be critical. So you might see me around :) You have been warned.

You will also probably see me having chats with my friends, @remus-lupin-offical is one of them but I’m still waiting for my other idiot friends to finish making their bloody accounts. I will add them here as soon as I can! Update: Took as them long enough, but now they’re also on Tumblr! People you will see me interacting with:

• @sirius-thesstar (Ew)

• @remus-lupin-offical (Why’d you choose my idiot brother as your boyfriend? You’re better than this.)

• @the-real-marls-mckinnon

• @xxcassiexx Dorcas Meadows, a Slytherin I have deep respect for. Say hi to Dorcas!

• @barty-not-barry (My batshit crazy friend)

• @pandora-notyetalovegood (Fellow Slytherin, say hi!)

• @lily-evans-for-ya (In a world of annoying people you are a nice person. Take it as a compliment or don’t. It’s up to you.)

• @captainjamespotter (Annoying Gryffindor)

• @stolemyheelsfromlegolas (DO NOT CALL ME REGIANO FFS) (MARY YOU HEAR ME?!)

• @barbie-wants-to-be-me-fr (Another lovely Slytherin asshole, he and Barty should just shut up and kiss by the way)

• @ur-local-peter-pettigrew (Gryffindor)

• @itty-bitty-bella (Cousin)

• @therealcissyblack (Cousin who loves me :))

• @andro-black (Cousin AS WELL)

• @the-best-slytherin (Luna, a fellow Slytherin)

• @yourfavouritehufflepuffgirl (Ew Hufflepuffs) (Ooc: I love Hufflepuffs)

You will see me arguing with my brother, @sirius-thesstar. Like, a lot. Don’t mind Sirius, he’s an idiot. If we’re arguing in French, do NOT translate if you’re a scaredy cat…

Do not interact if:

• You’re Sirius and you’re mad at me

• You’re a Gryffindor (yeah that goes for you too Sirius) (Slytherin is the best Hogwarts house)

• You’re transphobic

• You’re homophobic

• You don’t like me for some other reason

• You’re a Taylor Swift hater

I love Taylor. Don’t you ever disrespect her. Her new album only further proves that she’s a true poet. Even @sirius-thesstar agrees with me on that.

Other things I love are:

• Cats (I dream of having two black cats and naming them Phoebe and Ruby)

• The sea (It’s so calming to watch, but I HATE swimming. It’s too cold. And wet. Yuck.)

• The rain

• Conan Gray (No one can take his album “Superache” from me. Don’t ever try or I’ll bite you.)

Hope I’ll see you around! (Or not. Depending on my mood)

My tags: #regregregulusreg, #thetorturedpoetofthecave, #regussy, #regulussy

Random edit: Ooc: Eh so I’m a minor and I’m a victim of actual physical and mental abuse and I’m still going through stuff, so eh, “Reggie” might be talking jokingly about abusive parents and a tough upbringing on here and stuff like that… just know that that is my fucked up coping mechanism okay, and I don’t mean any harm, and please if you’re joking around with me about abuse don’t take it too far since it might be triggering for me. Thank you.

[aryaqua-reh2o]

The Full Moon ending is perfect!

A day in Stolas and Blitzø’s lives that summarises what’s happened so far. 

Blitzø and Stolas are perfectly disastrous in their way and of course, they were going to collide at some point. After brewing for one and a half seasons, the miscommunication between these adorable idiots peaked. Who’s fault is that? Both! And in equal part! I can’t stand reading how many people blamed Blitzø alone. The truth is, they both acted incredibly wrong and also incredibly well for who they are. 

Let’s start with Stolas: he ran out of his happy pills on the most important day of his life (probably). Now, I can’t talk from experience because I never used antidepressants (at least I assume they are antidepressants), but I doubt that skipping one dose turns you into an emotional wreck. But the thing is, Stolas is autistic and I can relate to this and the way he behaved. The pills were something he could rely on to stay afloat probably during his whole sad life, so running out of it first thing in the morning in the middle of an emotional Dinsey princess moment was truly bad timing. Stolas found himself stripped of this little safety blanket. During his song, he gets happy, dramatic, desperate and hopeful. He most likely spent the day in a mood swing, and let’s remember that he wakes up at 7 AM and meets Blitzø at 11:56 PM, plenty of time to panic [Side note, the breakup happens 4 minutes later so at midnight on the dot, I love these little details]. Stolas knows how he feels about Blitzø, he has known for some time, and he’s ready to tell him. If I know a little bit about how a brain on the spectrum works, he most likely had been rehearsing any possible scenarios in his head for hours (or days, or months) and that’s why when Blitzø arrives, Stolas doesn’t say anything to interrupt the other displaying of sex toys, until he decides it’s time to stop Blitzø (that it’s clearly freaking out already at that point) and opens the conversation in the worst possible way ever: “I need it [the Grimoire] back. Permanently”. It seems unnecessarily cruel to just take the book from Blitzø, letting him tear up and beg. But then Stolas pulls out the box with the crystal and we have the Stolitz music playing and… but why make Blitzø cry and not just give him the crystal straight away? Because Stolas was too stuck in his mind already. He played out this scene so many times in his head, that he couldn’t act any different without losing his cool. Don’t get this wrong: from here on I absolutely LOVE how Stolas handled the situation, how he spoke, what he did and said, from kneeling in front of Blitzø, gently holding his hand to calm him down when he was about to panic, and then he gave him the crystal while confessing his feelings for him. Stolas at this point had been in touch and honest with his feelings for months (at least since Ozzie’s from what we can see on screen), but the main problem is that Stolas has no idea of what is going on with Blitzø, so when obviously Blitzø feels cornered and doesn’t want to face his feelings so abruptly and hides behind sex and roleplaying, Stolas loses his control over the situation and closes up for good. Anything that happens between “Do you…Do you have my book Blitzø?” and “That’s enough to know what this is” is a monologue. When Blitzø doesn’t follow the idea Stolas has in his mind, Stolas just walks away. 

And this is VALID because Stolas has never been in a real relationship, he has no friends or family aside from Via, and he doesn’t know how to deal with people with complex emotions like Blitzø. It is quite common for people on the spectrum to assume that everyone else is alike, thinks alike, and responds similarly to certain patterns, so when Stolas doesn’t get the response he was expecting, he immediately reads it as rejection. He turns away from Blitzø and leaves without giving the other any chance other than yelling in anger and despair. 

On Blitzø's side things are more linear. He was and still is in constant… ignorance. Meaning he actively ignores his and Stolas’ feelings. I don’t think he is in denial, because he knows fully well he has feelings for Stolas at least since S1E6 Truth Seekers, he knows he fears intimacy and also craves it. And he most likely knows, at least in part, that Stolas has feelings for him as shown during the exchange with Fizz in Oops (that part was denial, yes). Blitzø knows this night is important and different. They haven’t seen each other for months. He was the one who decided to skip a few rounds when Stolas gave him the opportunity, and if we go with the text exchange in Western Energy, it’s safe to assume they haven’t seen each other since Seeing Stars and probably haven’t slept together since before Ozzie’s. Blitzø’s strategy to deal with his fears and feelings is to let things linger doing nothing in the hope they settle back to where they were when the deal was still new and comfortable. Because Blitzø doesn’t want to admit he has feelings for Stolas, but most of all he doesn’t want to accept that Stolas has feelings for him, because who can love him? Certainly not a prince of all people. Blitzø goes shopping to impress Stolas because he wants to keep staying in that deal, no commitment, no need to reveal his feelings, he could keep going forever, transactional sex is convenient and non-commmittal. (Inadvertently showing, while doing sex shopping, how much he cares for Stolas and how deeply he knows him and what he likes, he wants to make Stolas happy). He wants to go back to sex and show Stolas a “good time” so he doesn’t have to think about how he felt when he realised Stolas could get hurt. He doesn’t want to think about anything, but then, when Stolas takes control of the narrative, Blitzø can only be there and follow it until it gets too overwhelming. He tries so desperately to stick to the habits, to the point he has this massive slip when he tries to give back the crystal to Stolas and says he can always do better. He doesn’t want a way out. He doesn’t want to choose. He loves being in chains because it’s easy. He wants things to stay the way they are, for Stolas to use him as a sex toy, and to be used by him because admitting that he has feelings and that he sees that Stolas has feelings for him is too much. But Stolas clearly states how he feels and what he wants. Blitzø understands perfectly, but he can’t accept it, so he tries in a desperate attempt to get back to where they were, to pretend one more time. Blitzø runs away from the feelings Stolas is showing him in a way that triggers Stolas in the worst possible way. Stolas runs away from Blitzø when he can’t deal with his heartbreak anymore, triggering Blitzø’s fear that translates into an angry outburst. Stolas doesn’t stop for a second and doesn’t listen to Blitzø who is yelling at him to, basically, stop and listen to him. Blitzø says hurtful things to Stolas because he is desperate and he feels rejected and abandoned by him. After avoiding any type of confrontation for months, Blitzø finally gives in, but he’s hurt, angry and terrified so he does the only thing he’s comfortable with: he yells. He doesn’t know of Stolas’ past of being abused by his wife. Stolas just wants out, out of the feeling of being rejected (even if he obviously jumped to the wrong conclusions too fast) and away from yet another person screaming at him. Blitzø only manages to stop Stolas by yelling at him hurtful things he doesn’t fully believe. Unfortunately, Stolas listens to that. And for the first time in his life, he cries in front of someone. Blitzø finally realises how much his words hurt Stolas, but it’s too late to apologise and he finds himself teleported outside mid-apology.

Honestly, I don’t think they could have screwed up any worse than that even if they tried. But this needed to happen and I’m glad it did. Blitzø needed to see Stolas heartbroken to understand Stolas was in love with him. Stolas did the best he could for who he is, he made the first move, and now the ball is in Blitzø’s court. 

I owe Blitz an apology. When speculating on The Full Moon I assumed it was going to end badly and I blamed Blitzø for it. Now that the episode is out I can see that mostly it’s Stolas’ fault. Yes, I said it, it’s predominantly Stolas’ fault if The Full Moon ended in tragedy, but this is important: Blitzø knows Stolas treated him wrong (not only in the last episode, many many times before that) but now he also knows that Stolas can get hurt physically and emotionally, and yes, he proved himself to be a pompous rich asshole that happens to also be deeply in love with him. Is then Stolas worth fighting for? I think we all know the answer. What I hope to see in Apology Tour is the both of them apologizing to each other AND to themselves. Neither Stolas nor Blitzø know what love is. They are trying and failing but in the end, they are both desperate for one another and if Stolas can get his head out of his ass and Blitzø finally drops the act for a minute, they could just… talk and start to figure things out. And maybe in Apology Tour we will know more about what happened with Verosika and why that relationship went South so badly, I bet it’s going to play a huge part in Blitzø’s future development.

[themaster72]

ALRIGHT WHAT IS PROMISED IS A DEBT, LOVEWEB HYPERFIXATIONS GO! in this episode: "details"

MANON WITH [circle with all but upper left quadrant black] EYES FOR GLOW IS CANON! (yeah, i definitively predicted it, and im definitively taking all credit for a casuality while looking like an idiot, spaking of, where is the punchline of this jok-)

now we have credits for the VAs of loveweb! i wanted to say thank you for making the peeps feel so alive! (i could really feel the... "non-bynary..ness? yeah thats a word now" on manon!)

"fake" miku and gondola are back! that was a nice callback to the other episodes! (my guess is that miku plays spy because of the suit n tie, and gondola plays soldier because it likes to fly around using the rocket launcher)

does he know? (and does he like sam and max?)

manon is a pyro main? not confirmed but i theorize it could be because of pyro-vision, i mean, come on, i cant be the only one who thinks that, right?

ok lets take a break its just... wow, that... got emotional for a moment... but i like this, cybermare had to take an "edgy older sister" moment in order to solve things out, which was cool to see, as based as she is, we all commit mistakes, and i understand having something so dear to you getting massacred and neglected by its creator (anyone remembers angry birds? wait im derailing here-) also the part where she didnt want manon to take things personaly but the misunderstanding happened... yeah that my whole life, and it sucks, so im at least glad that had a little bit of cover on that, alongside being able to talk things out peacefully and understanding the viewpoint of the other person, i feel like thats something that is slowly being lost as internet goes further into its existence and in real life too! seriouslly its not so hard explaining why you think like you think in a non-agressive way folks!

and to finish... "oh! I know you don't like being touched so this is how i show affection!" i swear this freaking cat is autistic in some way WHY AM I PROYECTING OVER THIS

so yeah i really liked this new episode! it has a bit of everything and covers tf2 from all angles like it promised! i learned some stuff! (and i might aswell try team fortress 2 classic and open fortress, they seem fun! i really need to practice my aim...) so yeah, thank you for everything shadok!

[starlitprism]

"That's a Major": My Marcille Degree Rant

OK we're starting with this. Funny right? Yeah.

BUT IT GOT ME THINKING

You know what no one brings up in that story? NO ONE?!

This is just a major. This is a MAJOR! YOU CAN DO IT AT HER ALMA MATER.

It is not HER FAULT that this was available. She went in, saw something interesting and went "COOL" because IT'S A MAJOR. Because apparently this CODIFIED FORM OF STUDY is also just something the elves hate. NOW, it honestly seems to surprise all the characters that this was a MAJOR she could choose but let's be honest here. This is just a reverse of the meme where experts greatly overestimate how much the average person knows about their craft. Of course they don't know. The only one that WOULD know in the story is the impetus for the whole FUCKING PLOT.

She who probably would respond by "yeah I know. That's on the curriculum. I took an intro class" BUT NO. We don't get that because she's too busy being dead or other weird shit partially thanks to that same set of courses. Like, you will notice everyone is super surprised when they bring her back but NOT HER. SHE KNEW. Everyone else is like "look at this unholy abomination" when it's just like a history degree. Seriously though, Falin seems a little surprised and disoriented at first but otherwise seems utterly unfazed at waking up in a blood circle surrounded by a dead dragon's innards.

THAT SAID, I am exaggerating for comedy. Here is what we actually know. In the very next scene in the hot tub, she does note that there was something about the circle that felt wrong to her. So maybe she didn't know her shit about this. Or, maybe she only knew about it academically as related to what Marcille studied and never seen or experienced it in any way. That or somehow Marcille managed to keep a secret from the woman she very obviously adores with her literal everything which I... doubt. Then again, she is Laios' sister so who knows if she carries the same level of general obliviousness (I am also autistic like Laios is so I can just state that outright. We can be fucking OBLIVIOUS at times).

It also goes to show, the elves are idiots. They are so certain that this is so unknown that they have to hunt individuals while there is some professor(s) somewhere just... teaching it. Or at least something related! For, like, a day job! And they never even think to ask "where are all these people learning this" NO. THEY DON'T. THIS IS GONNA KEEP HAPPENING. BECAUSE IT'S JUST AVAILABLE. AND THEY, in their hubris, can't imagine ANYONE EVER having this information BUT THEM. It could just be freely available and everyone knows not to talk about it because the elves got a SPIKE in their collective ass!

Ok, you ask, "but what if it was a secret?" and you know what? Fair. To that I have to say https://tenor.com/view/marcille-best-girl-failure-tantrum-breakdancing-dungeon-meshi-delicious-in-dungeon-gif-7429268588073434370

(The above is a picture and link to a gif of Marcille on her head, kicking her legs wildly because this girl doesn't react normally ever to anything) This. This is Marcille when something happens. She's not subtle. She has never been subtle. She commonly screams her reactions. I call bullshit on secret.

More importantly though, that's not really how education tends to work. People study something and, outside of MAYBE grad school level or PhD level minimum, you largely talk with people who know your subject.

You gotta remember, education is a bunch of nerds who want to talk about their shit. People don't just research something to know it. They research it to publish it and have it peer reviewed even if it's just an assignment they turn into their professor which I guess is like a first step to publishing.

Research is gathered, references found, pointed to, and then showed off. AND IN THE CASE OF PRACTICAL STUDIES, people do it! You got to prove your research was right. Otherwise it's a bunch of potentially useless theory. So if you think Marcille hasn't done SOMETHING like this before, there's no way. She was confident she could do SOMETHING about it. Just saying, I would pay a lot to see the face's on the member of her dissertation committee.

I brought this up with some friends and they mentioned that she might have just studied Dungeon creation and studied Ancient Magic on her own. And fair but then Ancient Magic wouldn't be her specialty would it? At least, except in a very egotistical self estimated way without ANY outside feedback which is a core tenet of education. Unless she was the pre-eminent lone scholar of ancient magic of course but she never goes on about that so i'm going assume that's not the case. Here is what we got from the show

In the show she says "What I specialize in is actually ancient magic which is highly forbidden. It's use is frowned upon but using it to revive Fallin, it's our best option"

When Senshi and Chilchuck, protested she just says "magic doesnt' have morality"

Now I could be wrong but for this wonderfully high-strung woman whose reactions are so so much, this looks practiced and calm. She either has defended this before, was quoting something someone else (like a teacher), or somehow she has suppressed all her beautiful exaggerated weirndess in the midst of ABSURD amounts of stress. Personally, I think Option 2 and 1 are more likely as this is a highly emotional subject for her and her self control is shit.

Like seriously, let's say her alma mater doesn't have a class that teaches ancient magic. Let's say, no one but her knows much of anything. What would happen if someone caught her in the library grabbing strange books that have scraps of ancient magic knowledge in them? She's allowed to be there but she's just so... HER that she would probably jump in surprise and try and justify it while trying NOT to reveal what she is researching. And because she has all the cool of a pickle, EVERYONE in school would know Marcille was up to something.

The above is a picture of Marcille losing her shit from a video titled "Marcille gradually losing her mind for 6 minutes || Dungeon Meshi. The link to it is https://youtu.be/gmY2x8_nnjw

So yeah, there would be rumors. The worst kept secret in the school is Marcille is a bad girl who researches something questionable. To say nothing of the fact that this girl has demonstrated major teacher's pet energy. I would put my money on there being at least one professor there who gets occasional downloads of ancient magic from one of their top students all while they look on going "I can tell no one" unless of course there is an actual program.

FOR MY FINAL POINT I HAVE BUT ONE WORD TO GIVE. Internet

By which I mean, the lack of it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to research something based only on the physical books you have access to in a specific location? IT TAKES AWHILE TO GET ANYWHERE.

That means travel for you or your subject matter and, with something like THIS that could be considered dangerous, you would have to be SO damn careful to make sure you don't get a reputation as "the ancient magic girl." That said, she's a (warning, spoilers) half elf so she has time. SO MUCH TIME. But we know it hasn't been too much time because Falin attended at the same time as her. Falin and her brother did various (failed) things for several years before Marcille showed up at the dungeon. I, at least, don't know how much time passed but they both clearly look to be in their 20s or so to me. Could be wrong due to the art style but that's just my read. At most, SUPER low 30s. Which means, Marcille couldn't have been traveling everywhere taking months and months to cross seas to get specific books for that long. That time would get eaten up so very quickly.

WHICH LEADS US back to the start. And my claim that the simplest most likely explanation IS

This Is

A Major

[bloopitynoot]

13 WangXian Social Media Au's

This list was requested by @yiling-laozu-is-loml and is all about WangXian social media stories. NOTE: All of these fics are tried and true! They include fics I have read an enjoyed and wanted to share.

Request:

WangXian

Social media can include; group chats, online forums, blog, tweets, OF, youtube etc really the public eye (I included some actor/famous/reality tv with fans fics too) or chat based fics.

if applicable Bottomxian only

book canon only if applicable

If you want a specific rec list for WangXian dm me! I love putting these together :)

Enjoy the list!

1 Welcome to Pepper & Bun! (9560 words) by PaidSubscription

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dating Advice Columnists, Relationship Advice, Demisexual Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Bisexual Disaster Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Mastermind Nie Huaisang, Inspired by Twitter, Autistic Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Has ADHD, Getting Together, Fluff and Humor, Those Who Can't Do Write Advice Columns, Idiots in Love, Mainly Wei Wuxian Because Canon, Podfic Available Summary: Wei Wuxian: Did you catch our first letter? Shall we meet up and discuss it? Lan Wangji: No need. Sent draft just now. Wei Wuxian's email pings with 'Column Copy- Final Draft.' It contains two words.   "Dump him." OR: Gossip Editor Nie Huaisang strikes gold when he picks Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to be co-writers of a new dating advice column. The only slight problem? Lan Wangji has never dated.

NOTES: Okay this fic was so damn sweet!!!! If this was a real advice column I would be invested in an unhealthy way- the two of them are adorable. It gives a little bit of frenemies to lovers and I am always here for this dynamic- the duo who seemingly has nothing in common falling for one another. My heart! Also Nie Huaisang is a marketing genius.

2 For a Good Time, Call (170842 words) by ScarlettStorm

Chapters: 21/21 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed lan zhan, sex worker wei ying, in this house we support sex work, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, hornt(tm), way too many details about onlyfans probably, they say write what you know, No beta we die like wei wuxian, mental health, therapy is good actually, in which I reveal my true otp and it's anyone in the untamed/therapy, okay so actually more angst than I was expecting, a surprising amount of genuine feelings, whoops?, Background Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing - Freeform, background lan xichen/nie mingjue, background Jiāng Yànlí/Jīn Zixuān, Nonbinary Nie Huaisang Series: Part 1 of See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! Summary: The picture is of Wei Ying, that much is clear. It’s of a lot more of Wei Ying than Lan Zhan is used to seeing. He supposes that, technically, Wei Ying is dressed. It’s a bare technicality, since one of Wei Ying’s hands has rucked up his black tank top practically to his collarbone, showing a long expanse of abdomen and one nipple. Sweat beads on his sternum, catching the light like jewels. His other hand is--Lan Zhan feels his eyes widen, as though unable to look away from a train wreck--on his hip, one thumb tugging down the waistband of a pair of red briefs. Wei Ying is biting his lower lip and looking directly into the camera, sultry, his eyes dark and inviting. His erection is obvious, outlined against the red of the briefs and framed carefully with the hand on his hip. Lan Zhan’s brain goes wildly, screamingly blank. Or: Lan Zhan accidentally finds his best friend's OnlyFans account and has an ongoing emotional crisis.

NOTES: I love an OF plotline and this one is exceptionally good. Poor Lan Zhan going THROUGH the moralities of not only finding your besties OF account but also subscribing and also finding it too hot to handle. The amount of tears and cash this poor boy spends. It has a happy ending so no stress with his moral angst! ALSO the sequel is so so good KILF (Knits I'd Like To Fuck in (pls note the sequel has them tagged as switches so full disclosure there if it is a deal breaker for you).

3 兔's Clues | Tu's Clues (12296 words) by Anonymous

Chapters: 2/2 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Single Parent Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Minor Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Fluff and Humor, Misunderstandings, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Minor Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Niè Míngjué Series: Part 2 of AUs only a mother could love Summary: Most childrens’ show hosts are cheerful, energetic people who wear eye-catching clothing. The man on-screen is none of those things. This man (“that’s Lan-xiong!” A-Yuan says helpfully) is eye-catching for completely different reasons. When A-Yuan had started talking about 'Lan-xiong' and rabbits, Wei Wuxian had briefly recalled 18-year-old Lan Zhan sitting back on his heels with two baby rabbits in his lap, but the idea of his high school crush hosting a childrens' show had been so ludicrous that Wei Wuxian had chalked it up to coincidence. So either Wei Wuxian is hallucinating or that is indeed Lan Wangji on-screen, talking to two rabbits. As the host of a childrens' show. --- or: A-Yuan's new favourite thing is a show about solving clues left by rabbits… or something like that. Single dad Wei Wuxian is very much not prepared to see his high school crush hosting a childrens' show.

NOTES: So listen, this is tagged as Crack Treated Seriously and honestly the energy was not so Crackish. It was a surprisingly adorable and very cute fic. Lan Zhan WOULD be a stoic AF bunny handler as a children's tv host.

4 shoot your shot -- hot or knot (51435 words) by defractum

Chapters: 5/5 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author's Note Summary: "Hi, I'm Wei Wuxian. I'm a Career Omega and this is my fourth season on the show. I like spicy food, archery and alphas who are funny. Or maybe I don't, I haven't rolled over for one yet." On-screen, Wei Wuxian winks at the audience laughter. Hot or Knot is the world's most popular reality TV show. Part dating show, part survival show, Hot or Knot is everyone's guilty pleasure - and Wei Wuxian is a fan favourite. - The Love Island/Hunger Games reality dating tv show A/B/O au

NOTES: Okay, but here's the thing. This is S tier crack fic and no one can change my mind. Did I think I would be out here reading a Love Island/Hunger Games/ ABO reality show fic- absolutely not but let me tell you *slaps fic* this baby has so much good shit in it. Just pls trust me and go in with open energy LOL

5 episodes (34947 words) by kasunn

Chapters: 8/8 Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Fluff, basically all fluff, Youtuber Wei Ying, Social Media, Actor Lan Xichen, Artist Jiang Cheng, Chef Jiang Yanli, Babysitting, lowkey kidfic, Surgeon Lan Zhan, Canon typical feels, Taiwanese Wei Ying, Copious amounts of Chinglish, pets!, Secret Relationship, Kind Of, bad pet names, Established Relationship, wen yuan is a wen Summary: “Lan Zhan-gege,” Wei Ying sighs when he reads the tweet and Lan Zhan pats his knee. “I said hello,” Lan Zhan says. That he did. The tweet simply reads ‘Hello’ with a waving hand emoji. Terrible. Wei Ying is ashamed of himself for not teaching him better. “Your brother is going to kill me,” Wei Ying says. (or just a lot of domesticity between Wei Ying the Youtuber and Lan Zhan (his husband) + a mild, mini mystery for Wei Ying's viewers)

NOTES: I love this fic so much. The wholesome domestic energy is everything. WY is a youtuber and quite popular online in this and his husband is a mysterious man no one sees or knows anything about- obviously fans get curious and oh, Lan Zhan gets twitter.

6 you are safe / loved / worthy / enough (150003 words) by everythingispoetry

Chapters: 28/28 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Social Media, Mental Health Issues, Healing, self-care, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, the mortifying ordeal of self-acceptance, Falling In Love, Depression, Slow Burn Summary: One of the more timid-looking posts, in pale greens and creams and yellows, says Hello, I'm managing to be fairly high functioning right now but I'm really not doing as well as it may appear, and Lan Zhan feels as if someone sneaked into his mind and read his most secret thoughts, the ones he's never even dared to admit to himself. (Lan Zhan falls apart and finds himself through the most unexpected means.)

NOTES: So a few things with this fic; first it takes the prompt social media a little lighter as in social media is used for healing and there are social media talks but it isn't the forefront of the fic, second CW if you struggle with depression this fts that heavily and in a descriptive way. So heads up there. This fic is stunning, it's about healing, recovery, autonomy and love. That being said, your boy Wangji really goes through it in this fic. The poor guy is Not Okay. It is a beautiful fic though and he does get better.

7 Badreads (37442 words) by arabii

Chapters: 8/8 Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Bullying as a Flirting Technique, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian in Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian's Body Summary: Lan Zhan rated it ★☆☆☆☆ August 12, 2022 shelves: should-have-abandoned Picked up solely because I thought that a book release clouded with so much controversy would at least be entertaining to read. I was wrong. How does Wei Wuxian manage to make a book containing cannibalism, necromancy, and a sex cult boring? Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian are romance authors with large social media followings. Nie Huaisang sees an opportunity to get publicity by faking a relationship between them. This action will have consequences.

NOTES: I absolutely LOVE when Lan Wangji is a Bitch and this is peak Bitchiness. WY and LXC are romance writers and LWJ is a book reviewer with 0 fucks to give. The brutality in which he makes a point to read and review each of WWX's books brings me so much joy. and OFC they fall in love.

8 Falling to the Rhythm (128916 words) by Selenay

Chapters: 14/14 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!Wèi Wúxiàn, Violinist Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn, Rating applies to later chapters, The unbearable romance of being cared for, Podfic Available Series: Part 1 of Wangxian Strictly AU Summary: "So it's a bet?" Jiang Cheng said. "Dance the showcase if you get him, fancy coffee machine if you don't?" Wei Wuxian considered the machine. "Fine. You're on. I want it in red." "Don't start planning your caffeine overdose yet." "It's in the bag," Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. "There's no way they'll match me with someone like Lan Wangji."   Teaching Lan Wangji to dance in front of the nation for twelve weeks, how hard can that be? Wei Wuxian is about to find out.

NOTES: I love everything about this fic. It was so good and light (a tiny sip of angst because competition and some pining). The Strictly Come Dancing (basically Dancing with the Stars for North America) is *chefs kiss*. Also the fact that WY went in on it for a bet because he wanted a coffee machine I cant.

9 Gusu's Drag Race (55079 words) by DizziDreams

Chapters: 15/15 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: the gang's all here, Drag Queens, Drag Race AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Nonbinary Character, Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, whistleblower, There Was Only One Bed, Alcohol Abuse, ambiguous setting, American political system - Freeform, Big Bang Challenge, Background jyl/mianmian Summary: Meet the Queens of Gusu’s Drag Race Season 5! by QIN SU Oh my god, we’re back again. Hot on the heels of the shocking finale of season 4, Gusu’s Drag Race is back, with perennial judge Lan Qiren, Gusu’s grumpiest shufu, and featuring the return of the grandmother of drag Baoshan Sanren. And this season is already promising one. “We’ve never had such a strong cast of refined, professional queens. It has the makings to be the greatest season of Drag Race yet.” Big talk for the Emmy-award-winning show that has shot dozens of queens to fame, bringing drag to the mainstream. “The mainstream may be taking notice, but there’s nothing mainstream about drag done right,” says co-host Baoshan Sanren. “Drag is about disobedience. It’s rebellious and anti-mainstream by its very definition, and we’ve got some queens this season with the chops to prove it.” With all that to look forward to, let’s Meet the Queens who’ve already captivated our judges.

NOTES: I know I said that Hot or Knot was PEAK Crack, but this one is up there too! We have the MDZS ensemble, we have Drag, we have unionization and the fight for working conditions, OH AND INCLUDED ART. This was so fun to read.

10 Yesterday Once More (22725 words) by Sweetlittlevampire

Chapters: 7/7 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Long Lost Family AU, Adoption, Family Reunions, Reunions, Lost Love, Getting Back Together, Family Feels, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mild Angst, Happy Ending, Podfic Welcome, Podfic Available Summary: „I remember him as…sunny,” Sizhui tells her. “His whole personality radiated sunshine and warmth. He was always smiling, always cracking a joke. He loved playing and rough-housing with us kids, but he could also be very gentle if he wanted to. Looking back, he couldn’t have been older than twenty-five; he was probably even younger than that, now that I think about it. But despite the short time we’ve spent together while he was looking after the kids at the orphanage, he always felt like a father to me.”   In which Lan Sizhui goes on a TV show, to find the man he saw as a father figure while he was in the orphanage, and who disappeared one day. …and who just so happens to be his adoptive father's long-lost love.

NOTES: Okay way less crack, this fic actually made me tear up. A wholesome journey Sizhui centric in which he goes on a reality TV show to find his Xian-ge. The "show" was so beautifully narrated and "produced" and the ending ultra sweet.

11 Love at Second Sight (49893 words) by flowerofgusu

Chapters: 17/17 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji/Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Characters: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Luo "Mian Mian" Qingyang, Wen Qing (Modao Zushi), Wen Ning | Wen Qionglin, Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui Additional Tags: Background SongXiao, background mianqing, Romance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reality TV, Musicians Wangxian, Comphet Wei Wuxian, Coming Out, Demisexual Wei Wuxian, Rated E for the Small Amounts of Smut, Eventual Smut, Romantic Comedy, Falling In Love, Misunderstandings, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage Summary: Popstar Wei Wuxian agrees to go on Nie Huaisang’s reality TV show, wherein celebrities play an arranged married couple for a month. His manager, Wen Qing, insists this will be good publicity—plus, the funds raised will go to a children’s music school. He’s excited—he’s never been in a relationship before, let alone a fake-arranged-marriage. But when he finds out that he’s been arranged to be married on the show to his rival Lan Wangji, he doesn’t know whether to grin and bear it, or run the other way. How much can he act smitten for the cameras?

NOTES: On a good day I am already too invested in real life trash reality tv so it's no surprise that I am here to include yet another reality tv dating show au. This one was so good. I love a good "fake it till you accidentally actually fall in love" trope and this one does that plus a solid slowburn to realization exquisitely. These poor babes so oblivious- such messes.

12 cookin' up a storm, piece of cake (9562 words) by livinginaworldofnoise

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Social Media, Baking, the dumbest comments u have ever seen, wei wuxian being a troll for nearly 10k words, lan wangji suffering the most that any recipe blogger has ever suffered, Baker Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian is a Little Shit, Crack, content warning for absolute unhinged nonsense, told in the form of recipe comments and emails, Epistolary Summary: yiling_patriarch: first time making a cake with alcohol! it’s still in the oven but it smells great so far ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: There is no alcohol listed in the ingredients for this recipe. yiling_patriarch: i didn’t have any oranges or orange juice so i replaced those with a can of orange sparkling margarita! tasted super weird [★★☆☆☆] ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: Are you being deliberately obtuse? OR: life is tough for baker!lwj when online troll!wwx won't stop commenting on his recipe blog

NOTES: I know @yiling-laozu-is-loml has already read this (and the next fic) but I legally (not actually) had to include this one on this list. This fic is so damn cute- flirting through bad baking, trolling, and blogs??? What is there not to love. It is extra sweet how they end up together in the end.

13 don’t threaten me with a good time (60023 words) by livinginaworldofnoise

Chapters: 11/11 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reality TV, Alternate Universe - The Great British Bake Off Fusion, wwx is a chaos demon determined to make gbbo more exciting, lwj cares about the Integrity of Bake-Off, who will win????, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, gbbo au, content warning for absolute unhinged nonsense, Enemies to Lovers, by enemies i mean BAKING RIVALS of course, the last two chapters are the twitter reactions to the show so, Social Media AU, Podfic Available Summary: “I’m using orange liqueur to make my cake more interesting. Give it a bit of a kick, you know?” Lan Wangji’s expression has only changed minutely—not a lot of range there, it seems—but Wei Wuxian can tell he is perturbed by this information. “Alcohol? In cake?” “Honestly, I’m not sure any cake should even be made without alcohol,” Wei Wuxian says, offering another beatific smile that Lan Wangji does not return. OR: the great british bake-off au???

NOTES: Bake off AU! BAKE OFF AU! It's got cakes, scandal, disasters, enemies to lovers, and clothing so distracting WWX bluescreens. A very wholesome social media + reality TV competition. I highly recommend for good vibes. Bonus with the juniors idolizing Lan Zhan- such little cuties.

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

DNI if you're a bigot (yes that includes you idiots who think I'm a sissy and not a woman) and do not be sexual with me if you're over 35 or a minor

Hello, I'm not going to say my real name so just call me Daniel (she/her). I am AMAB autistic transfem that is a former plural system and now a singlet. I love all things nerdy like MTG, D&D, listening to infodumps. I also play Clash of Clans but put literally zero effort into doing it well.

It's also where I met my besties

You are highly encouraged to do any asks at all I love attentions. DMs are also encouraged as long as you get to know me and gain consent first. Honestly just send any ask it gives many happy chemicals.

Minors shouldn't be looking at this blog but I can't stop anyone so 🤷 (you'll get bitch slapped with a block though if you try to do anything horny with me and you don't have your age somewhere or are a minor). However, if you want to ask a question about kink/sex for purely educational reasons I will highly encourage anyone and everyone, regardless of age, to do it. We need much, much better sex education especially around kink and kink safety.

Inspired by @xenasaur

This blog is safe for queers of all types, racial minorities, addicts, age regressors, systems (endogenic included), and systems with littles.

You should know that I'm an orca.... and orcas rule anything they can see >:3

For anything that happens in DMs I'll need to know you a bit first, I'm a person too and want be seen as such.

My general limits are scat, gore, raceplay, ageplay (though I'll happily care for you in a platonic sense!!), emotional manipulation (both directions), corruption of myself, intox without consent prior to the intox and more as I think to add them. The only person allowed to dehumanize me is me. I like the terms Mistrum, Mommy, and Mistress, and enjoy many many kinks including but definitely not limited to: petplay, sadism, general dominance/control, breeding, bondage, and monsterfucking

Stolen from someone else but the point remains

[transmascaraa]

HAAIII ME AGAIN had a new idea all of a sudden

OK SO HEAR ME OUT RIGHT. hcs with gaming, scara and uhhhmm. Blade hsr with autistic gn reader!?!2?1!2??! basically like reader tells them theyre autistic, how would the charas react? would they treat the reader any different? would their view of their s/o change???

IT LOOKS RLLY CUTE IN MY HEAD OK TRUDT

+ if it isnt too much im asking here, how theyd interact w reader when they go nonverbal bc theyre upset :3

THANK U MOOTIE ALSO HOPE UR SOING WELL!!!!

multiple characters headcannons!

you tell him that you're autistic.

characters: gaming, wanderer, blade x autistic!gn!reader

author's note: alright this one and might do one more tonight it's fucking 20 minutes till 1am lmao might do a few tmrw i hope i do lol ANYWAYSSS I'M DOING GOOD THANKS I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TOO<33 LOVE THE REQQ

✧ Gaming

-so accepting fr. sweetheart. perfect bf. everything good.

-when you tell him he'd be so sweet and understanding frfr

-will literally sacrifice his whole being for you

-"you're autistic? that doesn't change anything, my dear!" he will love you eternally no joke.

-and when you get upset, you go nonverbal.

-so he spends hours trying to learn exactly what you mean by the gestures you use so thag he can help. he'll take it slow.

-he'll be patient with you.

-i promise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Wanderer

-nobody knows if it's sass or sarcasm at this point.

-HE WOULD LOOK AT YOU AS IF YOU TOLD HIM THAT YOU LIKE SLEEPING WITH YOUR PILLOW ON THE WARM SIDE.

-but he'd definitely be understanding. don't trust his physical expressions.

-you'd tell him and he would say some shit like:

-"you're acoustic?" before you playfully hit him and scold him.

-throughout the whole thing, his smirk never leaves his face. fuck that idiot, sometimes, honestly.

-when you're upset tho, he's really fucking nice. it's a rare case that he ever acts nice but at times like these he knows the limit.

-nahida will teach him more about autism after you told him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

๑ Blade

-eughhh he's a complicated guy

-not like he would show any type of much reaction if you told him he'd be like "okay and?"

-sitting down beside him and telling him.

-he'll listen, sure. he'll be understanding, i guess. but his face remains neutral

-"and how am i supposed to help?" maybe he hurts your feelings js like that sometimes he will apologize with night cuddles

-but overall, he would help you. even tho he'll say he wasn't being all that nice at all but you know that deep down you keep that little bit of happiness in him

-if you're upset and go nonverbal, he will try his best to understand you and help you calm down, taking it seriously. he's really good at it

-he just wants to make sure that you're okay, nothing else matters to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i like this one

it's really good imo

i laughed my ass off while writing wanderer's one lmfaoo i hope you like it @chezsxapcake <3

[finniestoncrane]

deeply personal and pointless whinge here but i need to get it out before therapy so i can verbalise my thoughts properly

very tired today, very sick of being autistic? i'm not officially diagnosed but i'm as fucking good as, and while it is nice to know there's a "reason" for why i am the way that i am, it doesn't change that i'm hindered in every way

it's fine to tell myself "ok just? focus on being normal and good and pick yourself up" but it's very hard

i'm so fed up of the ruminations, the rejection sensitivity, the socialising panic, the exhaustion, the body aches, the lack of will to do anything because it's so tiring and difficult

i'm done with reading into everything too far, i'm tire of struggling through everything, i'm so bored of being talked down to or feeling like i'm an idiot or feeling like i'm a child

i'm 31 next week and i don't feel like an adult. everyone else seems to have it down but i don't? everyone at work talks down to me and i wonder if they'd do that if i hadn't told them i was autistic? or would they just sense it in me? i'm not bad at my job, but i need guidance and structure and better environments, but i can't advocate for myself because i find it so difficult

and the comorbidities or whatever? now my therapist doesn't know if i actually have anxiety or whether it's undiagnosed adhd. i can't tell if i'm depressed or if it's autistic burnout. i just know i'm a little bit wonky

just very bored of being a subpar human being because i can't make my own brain do what i want it to do when everyone else seems to be able to (which i know is not the case but it just feels like that sometimes y'know?)

i'm also getting real fed up of my brain finding unfair things to focus on. i'm so uncomfortable at work but my coworker gets to only be in the office one day a week while i have to be in twice? and this same coworker keeps treating me like an idiot but she's provided me with no training. and she also is very hot and cold with me, which i find so so so so difficult. i just feel like a complete failure today and it's really difficult to pick things back up after the morning i've had

i just want to be comfortable. i'm so proud of myself as an autistic adult that i have managed to find a job and keep it and do acceptably in it, but it's hard. i'm proud that i push myself to be sociable even when i don't feel like it because i know people deserve the best me i can be. but my fucking GOD i am at my limits ;-;

[dogbunni]

[begins coughing like a cat about to throw up a furball] [spits up several nendo headcanons and then looks at u proudly]

-nendo collects hot wheels. I have no justification beyond this except that I also collect hot wheels and I think we'd have that in common. if he was real I would take nendo to a toy shop to look at all the hot wheels. just stand there and observe them for an uncomfortably long time. my friends aren't deeply autistic enough to do this with me so I can never observe the little cars for long enough before making a purchase :(

-nendo trans ally #1

-nendo has no idea what his sexuality is but not in a confused/questioning way, in a "I have never thought about it longer than 1 second" way. he likes who he likes and has no thoughts beyond that. he is label-less in a [shrugs shoulders] way. (saiki is also label-less but in a "fuck you" kind of way)

-nendo loves rollercoasters and watches weird essay length youtube videos about theme parks and animatronics. its a hobby that deeply disturbs everyone around him bc this guy cannot do basic math but he can and will channel the spirit of akechi rambling about defunct animatronics. sometimes he shows saiki pictures of animatronics in late stages of decay in horrible pitch black nightmare settings and saiki reacts as if nendo has placed a live cockroach in his lap.

-he has a condiment problem. steals sauce packets from restaurants with diagnosable compulsion.

-he doesn't Get memes. everyone has tried and failed to show nendo a meme. it's like trying to show your mother a funny picture and she holds the phone as far away from her face as she can and then stares at it for way too long before silently handing it back. he just doesn't Get It.

-hes like, really good at making memes though. he will just absently turn a phrase or take an image so absurd that everyone is still saying and reposting and reacting with it years down the line. he has no idea that he has this power

-he feeds stray cats and makes little shelters for them outdoors <3

-nendo and kaido roleplay together sometimes. I'm talking like, warrior cats roleplay. sometimes dark reunion but kaido gets pissy if nendo messes up The Lore. nendo calls it "playing pretend" bc he has no concept of cringe culture and kaido dies inside every time

-he manages to forget his own birthday. every year. saiki remembers though, and it's the one and only day he will ask if nendo wants to get ramen with him, instead of the other way around. it gets to the point that saiki asks if nendo wants ramen, and he says "what, is it my birthday ahaha" and saiki is just like. you goddamn idiot. good grief.

-last time I did one of these I said that nendo loves cute things like sanrio plushies and holds them so gently. well I see that and I am correct, but I raise you nendo thinking that SAIKI is the cutest thing he's ever seen. something about the pink hair and glasses and the little limiter bubbles on his head and his purple eyes and little frowny eyebrows- nendo wants to. hold gently. sometimes he just grabs saiki by the shoulders and stares at him blank in the face and saiki is like [nervously] "what the fuck? what the fuck????"

-he and aiura actually get along weirdly well. they're unhinged in similar flavours and it gets saiki's blood pressure up. he tries at all costs to keep them away from each other. their singular brain cells cancel each other out on sight.

-akechi makes nendo's brain hurt a little. he just can't process all of akechi's akechi-ness and it makes him feel dumb. he's fine with being dumb most of the time but akechi just makes him feel a little self conscious for some reason. (definitely not because he's jealous that akechi was friends with saiki first)

-he still likes the funny lil guy though. akechi's the only one who will enthuse with him about rollercoasters and he values those talks. so much.

-toritsuka is afraid of nendo for some reason. no one is sure why but nendo LOVES it. he's always trying to jump out and scare him. saiki supports nendo in this endeavour ardently. toritsuka suffers.

-nendo falls down the weirdest tiktok rabbit holes. it got so bad once that they got teruhashi to distract him while kuboyasu lifted his phone and deleted the app off of it. it took nendo several months to realise he could redownload it.

[eldaryasharbinger]

I honestly cannot believe that although I'm 100% on Jason's route, both Amanda and Thomas really caught my interest

At first I tried to avoid Thomas as much as possible because, again, we're pretty much the exact same person, so I thought that It would be weird to follow his route

Well, after spending some more time with him during episode 6 I have fallen once again the "Kafka really like themselves so much they can't help but like characters that are pretty much them but in a different universe/font" (yeah there's a pattern here,, it's not the first time,,)

Now I'm here, struggling with Jason and low-key high-key desperate to know how the story goes for both Amanda and Thomas

I think at this point I should just cave in to the thoughts and say that for Petronilla's story (my newcrette) she's low-key having something with Amanda (that isn't endgame, Jason is) and that maybe Thomas likes her too for idk what reason (to be fair, since Thomas and I are the same, and since I love pink/cute things, I wouldn't be surprised. I'd like Petronilla too if I were him, and I am him, so he does like 'Nilla)

I really want to write some more informations about my newcrette but I'm scared of my writing haha,, I might make a post someday about her disabilities, explaining her character story some more and what kind of relationship she has with each character! (I love this kind of things, I do them a lot I just don't really share them around, I fear being cringe but I should try to get comfortable because like I often say to myself, "I may be cringe, but I am free")

I think it's a little stupid to make every character fall for my oc, it's giving Mary Sue, but then again this is the MCL universe, all routes are canon somehow, the possibilities are endless, so why shouldn't I have some fun??

Maybe in the universe where she ends up with Amanda, Jason is the one pining for her... And maybe in the one with Thomas, they're two autistic idiots in love...

[saltielena]

so many people misinterpret “the smart one” in all of the jrwi campaigns and i am sick of it.

william wisp is fucking bloodthirsty. she likes explosions, shes so reckless when it comes to her plans, she haunted a fucking bear statue to terrorize an autistic 15 year old. shes batshit insane and you guys overestimate her. shes not normal. same goes for ashe ashe is a little shitbird but theyre responsible enough to balance it

jay ferin? broke into a government prison in clown makeup. my girl. she lieks shooting people. a lady held a gun up to her head and she was still fucking insulting her. she got bit by a stranger and was into it. shes so fucking weird. but the thing is. nobody realizes because shes next to gillion tidestrider and chip bastard.

and i dont think anyone has said rolan deep is anywhere near normal but hes an idiot too. he has a panic attack and goes to run and climb a tree. hes so fucking peculiar. literally him and rand are so paranoid they make sex pest stoner kian stone look like the most normal one okay

[masha-nikita]

Fedor von Bock's War Diary, a commentary

I have been reading von Bock’s war diary, and have noticed some interesting trends. I tend to agree with the Amazon top reviewer M. G Watson’s opinion, that it is written in excruciating details and professional jargon, and it may pose some problems for casual readers.

To a lay person, von Bock’s diary is heavily bogged down by factual statements and descriptions of the frontline situation, and its lack of sensibility means that the entries do not take the viewers deeper into analyzing a bigger picture nor do they show the colors of the writer’s mind and intentions- yet paradoxically, it is precisely what Bock’s mind is like- soldierly and loyal, to a point that he lacks common sense in basic human relations.

You’d get a sense that, yes, clearly this beauty is a bit off-kilter; no wonder according to E.A. Hart's "Hitler’s Generals", he was a social outcast among the officers, his harsh professional skills have no use in a normal civil society, and in turn, anything or anybody not wearing an uniform does not exist to him. You couldn't get more "autistic" than that.

The diary is clearly self-conscious that there may be readers, and oh boy, does von Bock like to complain to his readers that the OKH commanders are idiots! But not to a point that it attempts to manipulate the readers’ perceptions in order to virtue signal or to back stab, like certain historical memoirs do.

What I do not agree with Watson entirely, is whether or not his respect for Hitler was genuine, as Bock needed to maintain a positive relationship with the Fuhrer to get what he wanted, or else Halder would limit his actions left right and center, which exasperates von Bock.

It is said that Bock was initially heavily implicated in the 720 plot, only to be spared because one of his former staff commented that “Bock has been very respectful of the Fuhrer”—the thing is, that officer cited this according to his older memories, not knowing that in his retirement, Bock demonstrated how hateful he was of Hitler’s guts (source needed).

Personal comments and private sentiments are so lacking in this diary that I believe Bock was secretly socially awkward-- yet he was not afraid to make other generals awkward with him. He only regarded other generals as parts of his professional military machinery. However, he didn’t seem to hold any grudges-- I mean, the Kluge-Guderian kind of negativity, hating other generals and trying on colleagues' career destruction all the damn time.

Basically, people agreeing with Bock = a happy Bock; people not agreeing with Bock = a angry-crying emoji Bock. He also uses simplistic language like “beautiful lads”, “the soldier beamed at me", “the division is good but tired” that gives off impressions of him speaking whatever is on his mind. He keeps his diary content strictly professional, so when emotions do break out, these are oh so simple, pure and raw. Bock uses exclamation marks too excessively, a sign that he doesn’t know how to employ elaborate words to communicate how he feels.

When he laughs, he laughs; he laughs at the paranoid patients' wild antics; when he's upset, he's upset, saying "Schlieffen turns in his grave!" because "I am not allowed freedom further eastward!" It pains me to see he say things like "The misery those fleeing the war is terrible", "frightful misery of the refugees, but what can I do?" The helplessness in Bock's voice is so astounding when his personal interests, his character and the war context are taken into consideration.

It is so beautiful when a butcher knife weeps tears of blood.

If the emotion runs even deeper, he becomes quieter and more reserved. The readers have no chance seeing his softer spots. Who could blame this hardened soul for never writing anything about his stepson, whom he dressed up in little sailor outfit and took to see a military parade, so full of hope that the boy could be like him, or his grief when his family died?

11-9, 1939, Fedor von Bock very briefly and vaguely ordered von Kuchler to convene a court martial. Through the editor's archival supplement, we see that the SS artillery members killed lots of Polish Jews, and Fedi was NOT pleased. This informs me that when Fedi lingers on the "positive notes" about Hitler, it was probably artificial. Either massive Jewish civilian death really shook him, or he deliberately hid this court martial incident from his readers-- of whom there were certainly Nazi personnel.

[mitamicah]

An aromantic autistic reading of Joker Out's "Bluza"/"the Blouse"

I have a few words about Bluza. The Blouse.

When I first heard the title, I felt a connection to this song yet in a very tongue-in-cheek way. Because I read the working title was a nod to the white holed sweater blouse (the slut shirt) Bojan forgot at Jere’s place last autumn. But then thanks to JokerOutSubs I realized that this song really speaks to me in another way.

Disclaimer: I am speaking about this from an autistic aroace point of view and as a person who has masked most their lives and doesn’t drink. I hope to explain why this matters in the post below.

The lines that especially spoke to me are these: Ja ko pijana budala Ali čaše nisam popio Jamislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe

I’m acting like a drunk idiot But I haven’t had a single glass I think I’ve fallen in love with you

As a person who has spend most my life being critical about what to say, do, and how I show of myself to people I see the drunkenness described here not as literal but as a form of unmasking. When you find that one person you feel so comfortable around that you know that they won’t leave you or care if you stop being presentable in the eyes of society.

The result is that you may seem drunk and out of character when you are close to them. Drunk as in unlike yourself but also much more yourself. You dare to be authentic and to be silly and vulnerable because this person next to you gets you. No alcohol you could consume would fill you with as much giddiness as being with this person does. There is something about this one person that just speaks to you and let you know that you are safe.

While not having been drunk myself this is what I expect is the feeling most drunk people are searching for: the experience of not caring about what other people might think about them anymore. They just exist outside time and space in a bubble of bliss.

The person in the song is that for Bojan. His bubble of bliss – his safe space.

I’ve been lucky enough to have people like that too for small periods of time. And just like the next line I have felt very strongly connected to the person in those moments thinking “is this was love feels like?”. And here I don’t necessarily mean romantic attraction/love. I mean love as in a deeper, more profound level. The love that is outside of bodily desire. It is two spirits – two beings finding a home in the other person. A home where you can be giddy and drunk without having touch a single drink.

It is no secret that I love the idea of queer platonic love. When I read this, I read it as queer platonic. I read it as beautifully strange, brotherly, romantic, and platonic all at once.

The chorus kind of develops this feeling and adds and aromantic layer to it: Baš ja Koji nisam verovao Da za nekim biću lud

Yes, me who didn’t believe I would be crazy about someone

I read this as a very much an aspec experience.

You may have gone most of your life feeling othered for not experiencing those feelings of romantic attraction the world around you constantly tell you that you should.

Then this person comes along. This person that is your haven, that you can fool around with and open up around. There’s something that seems different, seems honest and so it brings you that feeling of bliss I mentioned earlier. That feeling the world around you have tried to tell you exists for years, yet you never believed would happen to you.

You may have believed yourself to be broken or maybe the world around you too much for seemingly being crazy about love. But now in this moment of bliss, drunk without having drunk, you get it. You want to be with this person, do all the silly things the media tells you are romantic. Not because you are forced to but because it would mean spending more time with your person. And every little second you can spend with your person feels like a blessing.

That is my take on the song at least. Thank you for reading.