#my first try making an analysis that I can remember so please be kind
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mitamicah · 8 months ago
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An aromantic autistic reading of Joker Out's "Bluza"/"the Blouse"
I have a few words about Bluza. The Blouse.
When I first heard the title, I felt a connection to this song yet in a very tongue-in-cheek way. Because I read the working title was a nod to the white holed sweater blouse (the slut shirt) Bojan forgot at Jere’s place last autumn. But then thanks to JokerOutSubs I realized that this song really speaks to me in another way.
Disclaimer: I am speaking about this from an autistic aroace point of view and as a person who has masked most their lives and doesn’t drink. I hope to explain why this matters in the post below.
The lines that especially spoke to me are these: Ja ko pijana budala Ali čaše nisam popio Jamislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe
I’m acting like a drunk idiot But I haven’t had a single glass I think I’ve fallen in love with you
As a person who has spend most my life being critical about what to say, do, and how I show of myself to people I see the drunkenness described here not as literal but as a form of unmasking. When you find that one person you feel so comfortable around that you know that they won’t leave you or care if you stop being presentable in the eyes of society.
The result is that you may seem drunk and out of character when you are close to them. Drunk as in unlike yourself but also much more yourself. You dare to be authentic and to be silly and vulnerable because this person next to you gets you. No alcohol you could consume would fill you with as much giddiness as being with this person does. There is something about this one person that just speaks to you and let you know that you are safe.
While not having been drunk myself this is what I expect is the feeling most drunk people are searching for: the experience of not caring about what other people might think about them anymore. They just exist outside time and space in a bubble of bliss.
The person in the song is that for Bojan. His bubble of bliss – his safe space.
I’ve been lucky enough to have people like that too for small periods of time. And just like the next line I have felt very strongly connected to the person in those moments thinking “is this was love feels like?”. And here I don’t necessarily mean romantic attraction/love. I mean love as in a deeper, more profound level. The love that is outside of bodily desire. It is two spirits – two beings finding a home in the other person. A home where you can be giddy and drunk without having touch a single drink.
It is no secret that I love the idea of queer platonic love. When I read this, I read it as queer platonic. I read it as beautifully strange, brotherly, romantic, and platonic all at once.
The chorus kind of develops this feeling and adds and aromantic layer to it: Baš ja Koji nisam verovao Da za nekim biću lud
Yes, me who didn’t believe I would be crazy about someone
I read this as a very much an aspec experience.
You may have gone most of your life feeling othered for not experiencing those feelings of romantic attraction the world around you constantly tell you that you should.
Then this person comes along. This person that is your haven, that you can fool around with and open up around. There’s something that seems different, seems honest and so it brings you that feeling of bliss I mentioned earlier. That feeling the world around you have tried to tell you exists for years, yet you never believed would happen to you.
You may have believed yourself to be broken or maybe the world around you too much for seemingly being crazy about love. But now in this moment of bliss, drunk without having drunk, you get it. You want to be with this person, do all the silly things the media tells you are romantic. Not because you are forced to but because it would mean spending more time with your person. And every little second you can spend with your person feels like a blessing.
That is my take on the song at least. Thank you for reading.
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beneathashadytree · 4 months ago
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HEY GUYS! LONG POST HERE, BUT PLEASE READ🙏🏽
I am genuinely appalled by the discourse ongoing in the LNDS fandom these past few days—but above all, I am severely disappointed in what had started out as one of the most inclusive and sweet fandoms I’ve ever been in. I have a few things to say, so in this post I’m trying to put all my thoughts to words. Apologies if I sound harsh, but I’m genuinely livid. Also, please ignore any typos. I’m not wearing my glasses while word-vomiting.
First off, for a fandom that is composed of mostly adults, you guys have been acting terribly childishly. It’s 2024, and yet people are still unironically shaming others for “switching up on their favs” as if a person owes 2D characters any loyalty. Let people enjoy things. The novelty of Sylus and how he’s quite literally 6 months behind the other 3 love interests makes people want to catch up on the enjoyment of him all at once. He’s still such a brand new character and concept, so there’s no wonder everyone’s hyped up over him.
I’ve seen people get genuinely mad at other players and writing whole think-pieces about this. I promise you guys, the company making this game is still benefiting whether you’re pouring your money into Sylus or any one of the previous 3. We’re all happy to have an interesting character pop up among the roster now, and we’re taking our time getting to know him. Doesn’t make any of the first 3 any less loved. I genuinely don’t remember this amount of nastiness when solo events for each of the guys used to drop.
In fact, if the popularity thing is worrying you, going off MLQC (the company’s past game) the character who was last added was—eventually, after the initial hype died down—kicked off to the sidelines in most major events and was given the least content, and was the least favorite of fans.
Secondly, and this has my blood boiling, there is an insane amount of entitlement and rudeness I’ve seen on my timeline concerning how people characterize the men—particularly Rafayel.
Absolutely nothing warrants this shitty attitude towards other creators for how they depict characters in their fics. It seems you guys feel protected behind a screen and think it gives you the right to bully strangers online. Fanfiction is for fantasizing about your favs; for letting your imagination run wild. If this were a character analysis, then yes, maybe I’d agree that inaccuracies are aggravating. However, in fanfiction, there are zero rules, especially when it comes to smut.
Sexual preferences are not equivalent to a person’s whole personality—so whether he’s written as a dom, a sub, a switch, or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, this has nothing to do with his kindness, gentlemanliness, passion, power, ruthlessness, snark, or whatever minuscule aspect of his character makes up his lovely whole and matters to you.
I think this circles back to a lack of ability to separate sexual matters and personality, because how else do people interpret fics depicting him in a certain manner as them erasing his character? They might overlap, but they can very well be mutually exclusive. I’ve seen incredibly sweet and gentle men irl who were absolute doms in bed, and I’ve seen powerful and passionate men who were reduced to tears between the sheets. There is barely any correlation whatsoever, and if anything, claiming otherwise is what I consider piss-poor media literacy and reading-comprehension.
My third point is that for some reason, there have been many, many posts and replies on here where I’ve seen people just straight-up spread pure hate for the characters. Maybe this bothered me in particular because I’m an OT3 (OT4 now!) and absolutely adore all of them, but I find no logical reason for “yucking someone’s yum” when we’re talking about liking the characters of an Otome game—a genre of video games which is made to literally cater to the tastes of as many people as possible.
It’s especially disheartening to see when it’s at a time like this, when new content is about to drop, and you find in the replies of every other post/discussion at least a few people spewing hate and disgust at Sylus. Again, so many people are incredibly excited about him. Why is there a need to rain on everyone’s parade, especially in such an unsolicited manner?
This fandom originally started as a safe space for people of all races, backgrounds, genders, sexualities, and personalities to bond over our mutual love for characters. All I’ve seen on my TL lately (in terms of discussion) is negativity, and it’s such a fucking let-down. I hope whatever the fuck has happened to this fandom cools down after a bit. It’s probably exaggerated and very in-your-face rn, cause more and more people are downloading LNDS, so the probabilities of finding people being nasty are increasing. But I seriously don’t want to grow to resent this fandom and find myself distancing myself from it to protect my peace.
Let’s all remember to be kind towards other players, to not act entitled or bratty about the characters, and to try and mind our own business if we see content that doesn’t suit our tastes.
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ghoastixx · 3 months ago
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Yandere!Hannibal and Yandere!Will Graham, who are obsessed with the survivor of a serial killer, who has resurfaced again. So the reader needs to go into some kind off protection and now stays at Hannibal‘s with Will visiting regularly and Hannibal comforting her?
Yandere!Hannibal & Will Graham x gn!reader
synopsis above
Notes: Okay okay okay... as someone who used to read A LOT of yandere fics, i'm flattered to be writing one for such a thirsty fandom. But, I must admit, this is my first time actually writing one. So bear with me please. Also, YAY!! A WILL GRAHAM REQUEST!!! (I'm a stereotypical will graham lover boy) I do love writing edgy insane will graham :3
Author notes: Mentions the "ghost face" killer... sorry y'all at the end of the day im not original and scream 1 holds a dear dear place in my heart. Will is sort of creepy in this. Reader is broken but trying to heal, will and hannibal ruin that. Reader sort of takes Margot Verger's place in a way? Reader is a bit shallow and emotional, sorry chat.
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The nightmare started two years ago. The ghostface murders happened every year or so; ever since that massacre in Woodsburrow when it all began. They popped up all over America. It wasn't a shock when a new copycat showed up in Maryland, Baltimore. A shame...sure. A shock? Not as much.
You weren't very worried. You lived a relatively boring life, a safe life. You were not final girl material. Well, that's what you had thought before someone in a ghostface mask stabbed you on the walk home from work.
You remember how exhausting the press was when you woke up alive, how nauseating the treatments were, how tedious the whole stay was. It was all boring and you were scared. Your face was all over newspapers, magazines, blogs, what if he came back to finish the job? The fear was too much, you fell into a deep pit of self pity and anxiety... One particular article though.. tattle crime. It pushed you over the edge.
People around you could sense the distress, you were referred to a psychiatrist upon your release. A Doctor Hannibal Lecter.
The first session had gone well, in your opinion. Of course, you hadn't been the most open of patients, but he was so patient with you, he was so understanding. You couldn't see how fond of you he actually was.
The first time you had walked into his office, he was amused. You had been the talk of the news, lately, and here you were now. Sitting in his office. You were interesting. A normal person, someone who had never really been bothered by much.. now utterly shattered. A beautiful vase put to waste, he would be the gentle hand to put you back together.
You met Will Graham almost a year later.
Your appointments were always right before Will Graham's. Of course, you didn't know that, but he did.
You had just finished up a session with Dr.Lecter, gently closing his door behind you, you were met with a shorter man looking intently at you. He had dark curls and his glasses were clinging to the edge of his nose. You stared back at him for a moment. He wasn't making direct eye contact, but he was looking.
"Excuse me...can I help you?" you murmured, a bit freaked out. He shook his head, snapping himself out of it.
"I'm sorry- are you Y/N L/N?" He asked, he had a nice accent that you couldn't place. You sighed, crossing your arms.
"Yes, what of it?" your annoyed tone made him look away from you.
"Nothing-I'm sorry- I just went over your case in my lecture this week,"
"Lecture?"
"Yes, I'm a professor."
"Oh.. what class, if I'm allowed to ask?" He smiled, shaking his head a bit,
"You can ask. A criminal analysis class." you nodded.
"That's very interesting Mister..."
"Will Graham."
You two began seeing each other a lot more while switching roles in Lecter's chair. Friendly smiles, waves, anxious nods.. and then Hannibal started to get into Will's head. His intentions turned to the computer. Researching about you. He reassured himself, he was just doing his job. Researching victims. Until he brought you up in a session.
"What seems to be on your mind Will?" Hannibal asked patiently.
"One of your patients." This caught his attention,
"Which one of my patients would this be?"
"Y/N L/N." Will leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs out. Hannibal straightened up.
"Y/N, I see." His voice was a bit firmer now. He had grown protective over you. Possessive. "what of them?"
So Will began talking about his newfound obsession with you. This pleased Hannibal just a bit, the idea that they both could have you.
So, with Hannibal's nonverbal permission, Will started to get more involved in your life as you both slowly started to succumb to Hannibal's manipulation.
Everything was going swimmingly. That was until you got a notification on your phone during work today.
"Ghostface killer resurfaces after two years!"
With trembling hands, you clock out and immediately go to your car. You sit in your locked car, shaking. As soon as you read the article, you turn off your phone, putting it in the console. You start driving.
You knock on the lavish door, your skin pale and your body shaking. You're so cold. You begin pounding on the door..faster.. why can't he just come out faster?
The door swings open, you almost hit the taller man in the chest. He was wearing a vest and a white button up shirt, dress pants. He had just gotten off work. His eyes held annoyance, but when he saw your rather fragile state, his face grew concerned. He ushers you inside, his firm arms around your shoulders, leaning your shaky form to a sofa. Sitting you down and making you explain to him what's wrong.
"He- he's back Hanni. He's gonna come back after me-" you manage to cry out, his hands softly going through your hair.
"My dear, you're okay.." His phone rings, which makes you jump. He glares at it before seeing it is Will. He answers it, a very frantic voice picks up.
"Hannibal- I can't get ahold of Y/N-"
"Will." he all but chided. "Our love is here, calm down."
"I'm coming over." he stated before hanging up. He sounded frustrated, which just scared you even more.
A few minutes later, a disgruntled Will walks in, immediately coming up to the sofa which housed you clinging to Hannibal for dear life.
"Y/N- I tried to call you- I was so worried." Once he saw your expression, he toned it down as he sat next to you. "Pup..it's alright, we're here."
Both men frowned when you shook your head. "No! He's back for me- he's gonna get me."
Hannibal responded with a 'tsk' sound, still playing with your hair. "My love, he will do no such thing." Will hummed in agreement, rubbing a hand over your back. "You'll stay here with Will and I, we'll keep you safe and sound."
Will was pleased when you caved into the demand, he honestly thought you would've denied it quicker. Both men dotted over you before pushing you to get some sleep. Sandwiching you in between them. Will waited til he could hear your soft snores before looking at Hannibal with a bit of a glare.
"I told you it wasn't a good idea." Hannibal looked at him with a false innocence.
"What wasn't a good idea, Will?"
"Poking the killer. Getting him to want to come back."
"It will all work out..we just had to..scare them into submission. You see? Hasn't it worked."
Will sighed a bit, "Yes..I still don't like it very much though.."
"Nothing will happen to either of you, Will. I wouldn't allow it."
Will did stop talking, not wanting to wake you. Besides, he knew Hannibal had a point. They did have you to themselves now.. and if everything went to plan.. you wouldn't be leaving.
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starlyx0 · 4 months ago
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so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)
so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!
This won’t be the best character analysis
as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.
So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.
Things I’ll go over!
personality 
looks 
hobbies
past & current 
relationship with family 
relationship with friends
This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.
1 | personality
I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,
but making his entire personality music makes me so mad
most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens 
he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11) 
hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)
2 | looks 
he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲
After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,
overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,
saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk
3 | hobbies
did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️
I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal 
there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,
he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw
I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭
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but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh
but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano 
, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life 
4 | Past & current 
I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,
I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh
see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him
probably hates turtlenecks with his being 
and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak. 
I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say 
“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.
It's said flat out in episode 27
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That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.
5 | Relationship with family 
Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance 
now onto Lily
I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them 
Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out 
she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(
now Aiden 
most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.
Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s
he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him 
they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.
Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree
Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,
I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting 
like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,
it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.
6 | Relationship with friends 
he is definitely the therapist friend 
He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it 
his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,
they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao
his friendship with Taylor
I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip 
his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered 
and his friendship with Logan 
it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests
and be absolute nerds together lmao
overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me
And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words 
if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡
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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 5 months ago
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06/14/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Samba Schutte BTS; Vico Ortiz; Ruibo Qian; Flag Day/3yr Anniversary of OFMD Filming; AOC: Raffle Updates; Tell Tale TV Voting; WBD Stocks Status; Fan Spotlight: Cast Cards; OFMD Colouring Pages; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;
Happy Friday all! I hope the weekend is long and restful for you.
== David Jenkins ==
Chaos Dad posted on Instagram today with the hashtag #RelaxMax #WhosAGoodBoy. Sure seems to be a hint in there somewhere, but what does it mean? Whatever it means, it's definitely directed at MAX.
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Source: David Jenkins Instagram
== Rhys Darby ==
Rhys is out and about with his family!
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Source: Rosie's Instagram
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Source: Finn's Instagram
== Samba Schutte ==
Samba was kind enough to drop a LOT of BTS today, specifically to help folks who want to see more of Roach's outfits.
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For all the images/videos you can visit:
Samba Schutte Roach S2 Reference Part 1
Samba Schutte Roach S2 Reference Part 2
== Vico Ortiz ==
"Some Sag Rising curly hair chaos ❤️‍🔥 Catch me…. If you can 😏 ✨LAX-NYC-SJU-PHX✨"
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Source: Vico Ortiz' Instagram
== Ruibo Qian ==
No Idea the context on this one! But Ruibo is featured!
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Source: KayBrooZayZay's Instagram Stories
== S1 Filming Anniversary / Flag Day ==
Today is Flag Day! @adoptourcrew reminded us that 3 years ago today, OFMD Started filming! They also asked folks to show off their flags! Feel free to hit them up on the various platforms!
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Source: Adopt Our Crew's Tumblr
For those of you who are elders in the fandom, you'll probably recognise this from June 14, 2021
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Source: David Jenkin's Twitter
== AOC: Raffle Update ==
Great job everyone! The Charity Raffle for #OurFlagMeansPride is doing fantastic! 67 charities and already $2,617 already raised!
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Wanna enter the raffle? All you need to do is donate to an LGBTQ+ Charity to qualify and submit to them on their google form! Visit @adoptourcrew on Tumblr, Instagram, or Twitter for charity examples as well as how to sign up!
Source: Adopt Our Crew's Instagram
== Tell Tale TV Reminders ==
Are you tired of reminders yet? Well, there's only a couple more days -- and you can vote every day so please do! Remember, there's OurFlagMeansDeath, and Rhys and Ruibo up for award! Tell Tale TV Awards Voting
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Source: Tell Tale TV Twitter
== WB Related Articles ==
Warner Bros stock analysis: WBD could tank to $5 soon
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Source: Seven_Sugars Twitter
== WBD Stocks Status ==
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Source: WBD NASDAQ
== Fan Spotlight ==
= Cast Cards =
Back tonight is more cast cards by our darling @melvisik! First up is John Mahone, one of our lovely writers! and next is Ma Christina C. one of our lovely members of the Red Flag Crew!
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== OFMD Colouring Pages ==
More Colouring Pages --this time for Flag Day from our talented crewmate @patchworkpiratebear and presented by @adoptourcrew!
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Source: AdoptOurCrew Twitter
== Love Notes ==
Hey there lovelies. Happy start to the weekend! Work has been throwing me through a loop this week, and with my girl Zoey still sick I've been completely out of it, so I'm gonna try to go to bed early tonight if I can, so love notes will be short tonight. I know the past many months have been rough without our show. Since the cancellation we've had ebbs and flows, and sometimes it's hard to remember just how long it's been. (I literally caught myself saying, man this cancellation has been going on for a year!-- wow no, not that long but damn!) The good news is, so many of you have taken that grief and turned it into something beautiful. Whether that's friendships, or artwork, or fibre work, or writing, podcasts, podfics, songs, gifs or image edits-- or even just kind words you give to friends or strangers. You really are wonderful, lovelies, don't forget that. Remember that your kindness is a strength, and it makes all our lives better. Thank you for being kind to me, and all your fellow crew since the cancellation.
With WBD struggling a bit, and BINGE streaming OFMD S1 and S2, I'm really starting to feel hope again. I know everyone's weary of that kind of hope right now, so feel it when/if you can. But I feel like things are looking up <3 Rest well crew, see you tomorrow.
== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==
I don't know about yall, but tonight's theme reflects my need for a nap, anyone else?
Gifs courtesy of @ ofmd-ann and @ gattonswood
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planet-crait · 1 month ago
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Part 1 analysis of Dev Dimmadone from Fairly Oddparents A New Wish. A couple of things I want to mention before jumping into this, I have not finished the first season. Last episode I watched was Pattys Possum Party Playground, but I have thoughts and I decided to share them before I reach the end so I can see how my thoughts change as the season goes on or after I finish the finale. Second I recognize I have some bias regarding Dev. I’ll go into more detail why but I heavily empathize with Dev and his struggles so it’s something I wanted to make clear before I started. I’ll also put a Trigger Warning for discussing abuse and my own experiences with it so please keep that in mind. Apologies for how long this gets I didn’t realize how much I had to say about Dev until I started writing. With all of that said let’s get into it.
Something that caught my attention very very early on regarding Dale and Devs relationship is it is painfully and abundantly clear Dale has no love for Dev. We see Dev adores and looks up to his father but no matter how hard Dev tries that love is not reciprocated.
It is unfortunately common for kids who are neglected at home to lash out at school and misbehave, it gets to a point where even negative attention is better than no attention. This is of course not healthy or good behavior but more desperate acts of a kid desperate for any sort of attention.
Growing up, I was in a somewhat not necessarily similar situation to Dev but I can somewhat see parts of myself in Dev? I’m not sure the best wording for it but I was not wealthy nor my family, but I was largely outcasted by my peers and ignored and bullied by them. It was hell. And while Dev isn’t bullied by anyone, he certainly is more the bully, he’s also very alone.
Despite being bullied I had my family who at least cared and I had the occasional recess person? I can’t remember their official title but they wherent teachers lolz. But regardless they took pity on me and let me hang out with them. For Dev though….he doesn’t have anyone in his corner. His dad doesn’t care about him, he has no friends and the teachers don’t care about him. He’s just painfully alone. No one has his back. The sins of his father are put on Devs shoulders regardless of how realistic it is to blame him for things. We see Mr. Guzman glaring at Dev in Lost and Founders Day
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All Dev did was hand out bracelets his dad made but Mr. Guzman is suspicious, it seems, of Dev himself as if he is up to something bad with them. The animators actively choose to have Mr. Guzman look at a nine year old this way. He could have been looking this way at the bracelets but no. It was directed towards Dev himself. Despite him, for now, being friends with Hazel and seemingly behaving better Mr. Guzman doesn’t trust that Dev is changing and improving. Instead of being glad something changed with Dev, Dev is met with distrust and suspicion.
In that same episode Hazel assumes the worst of Dev and assumes he was behind everything that happened at the Founders Day Festival. She refuses to listen to him and even give him a chance to explain and decides he’s a bad person. Now this isn’t to say Hazel is a bad person for this, more it was unfair and so far I haven’t seen any real resolution to this. Dev almost seems to be held to a different standard in this regard, we see Hazel screw up big time in The Wellsington Hotellsington in regards to Winn and Jasmine and they forgive her right after she apologizes despite Winn not knowing her for long. Hazel similarly hasn’t known Dev for that long but won’t even let him apologize and storms off very angrily and seemingly never reached out to him to try and work things out.
No Dev does not either but I don’t blame him as much in that regard because Dev clearly has never had friends before Hazel. He doesn’t know really it’s okay for friends to fight and make up and still be friends. And with how Hazel blew up at him I was kind of thinking as well Hazel decided the bridge was burned so to speak and was admittedly surprised when she said in Battle of the Dimmisonian that they could still be friends (which I…question how accurate a statement from Hazel that is but I’ll get their I promise). It’s interesting to me Dev is worried about how Hazel perceives him despite them not being friends. Even though Hazel turned her back on him, he still wants some sort of connection with her even if he’s going about it in an unhealthy manner. Again negative attention is better then no attention, so even if it means fighting and bickering he’d rather take that than have absolutely nothing.
This kid has sky high walls he’s built, but they’re shaky and crumble at the slightest pressure. After only two days of being friendly Dev is willing to disobey a direct order from his father and put himself in harms way to keep Hazel safe. This is very likely the first time Dev has ever disobeyed his father, the man he is desperate to prove himself to and get some sort of love and affection from. He risks ever getting that from his father to protect Hazel, someone he’s not been on friendly terms with for all that long. Which makes him being so alone all the sadder.
I mentioned it in another post but Dev has a lot of love to give people who are willing to put in honestly what feels like the bare minimum of work to break down his walls. And it seems no one has even tried to get past them. He’s written off by everyone as nothing but a rich bully that doesn’t care when that couldn’t be further from the truth when push comes to shove. He’s willing to disobey his father, someone he still is desperate to win the love and affection of, to protect someone that matters to him.
Circling back to the point I mentioned earlier about my doubts regarding Hazel still considering Dev her friend. Now this may just be an oversight but…it still happened so I feel it’s okay to discuss here. In Pattys Possum Party Playground we see pretty much all the classmates we’ve seen previously hanging out and having fun, Dev however is missing. I’m not saying anyone has to invite him, but if you consider someone a friend…why not invite them? Maybe the background characters were thrown in to make it seem more like a party and to emphasize them then being alone. Why not include Dev then as well? Why is he left out of the fun with everyone? A line from say Hazel commenting his dad wouldn’t let him come would do a lot of heavy lifting to show how terrible Dale is and how rough Dev has it and show Hazel is thinking about him.
Again, Hazel doesn’t have to be his friend. But she said they could be friends which is why I mention this. I will admit this is potentially where my own biases come into play. I was the kid people said was their “friend” to get teachers off of their backs and I just didn’t realize this is what was happening and it hurt when I was excluded from things. If I was in Devs shoes I’d feel hurt I wasn’t invited to something everyone else was invited to. And I imagine it would hurt even more as someone already struggling to try and get some sort of love and affection from anyone really.
I hope I’m wrong and I hope we see more of Hazel and Dev rebuilding their friendship, but I’m concerned we won’t really see that or any consequences to that really play out. Again could be wrong I’ll have to wait and see in that regard this is just how I’m seeing things with my own biases as of right now where I’m at in season 1.
We know that Dev gets Peri because he is miserable due to his and Hazels fight and his father’s very public rejection of him. Godparents are supposed to help make things easier to deal with for their kids and help them navigate their difficult lives. Unfortunately, so far from what I’ve seen Peri and Dev aren’t a great match for Godparent and Godchild. I’ve only seen their dynamic for one episode, but when they first met, we see Dev is extremely exited when he first meets Peri:
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However, something things to go very wrong because he goes from being sad but not wearing his sunglasses to being back in his sunglasses and being overall disinterested in Peri while Peri seems very frustrated and disinterested in forming any sort of bond with Dev.
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I don’t know what all has happened between the pair, but for me it’s notable he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses when he and Peri first met and are wearing them again next time we see him. He was so excited to met Peri and I wonder if he wanted to try and have some sort of bond with him that was shut down. We don’t know obviously and it’s just speculation on my end but it’s something I wonder about.
When Peri notices his parents later on in the episode he’s so focused on himself he’s not even acknowledging Dev or his questions and seems uninterested in sharing about himself. For me, it reads that Peri is really only focused on granting wishes and not about with forming any sort of bond with Dev, something Dev right now desperately needs. He’s lonely and sad and lashing out because he’s been denied real affection for so long and doesn’t know how to connect with other people. It’s sad that his AU Pairs seem to on some level recognize this as they try and comfort Dev after Lost and Founders Day and acknowledge that they cannot give Dev what he needs.
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I honestly think Dev would be much better off with a Godparent like Cosmo and Wanda or even Juandissimo, he needs a Godparent who is willing and knows how to connect with a kid like Dev who has a seriously troubled homelife and Peri doesn’t have the tools or knowledge to really help Dev in the ways he needs. I imagine based on what we’ve seen recently of what Jorgan thinks Godparents need to be for their Godkids I am not surprised Peri isn’t handling Dev the best. He was likely taught granting wishes correctly and quickly for their kids is what makes a Godparent good, rather than forming a connection and understanding their godkid. This isn’t exactly Peri’s fault, he’s new and inexperienced but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not helping Dev either and granting wishes isn’t what he needs, he needs love and someone to be their for him that loves and cares about him.
A side note, I realize again this is more of a gag and not meant to be taken seriously but since I’m looking at all of the things that has happened to Dev so far I just have to wonder. In Battle of the Dimmasonian, Peri’s first instinct is to hide Dev from his parents when they ask if he has a Godkid.
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Again I know this is just for a gag but don’t we all love playing the game of “find ways to emotionally devastate our favorite characters even more so we can give them comfort and put them back together again? No? Just me? Well I’m gonna do it anyways. If I was in Devs shoes in this moment I would probably be thinking that my Godparent is ashamed of me, that they don’t want to be associated with me or anyone to know that they where assigned to help me. We know Peri is anxious and doesn’t want his parents smothering him or being weird about his first godkid but Dev definitely doesn’t know this given all the questions he asked that Peri didn’t answer. In Devs mind this could be just another person rejecting him without giving him a chance. Another public rejection of him.
Again I know this is a nothing burger moment in the grand scheme of things but it’s fun to imagine something for it. This being the moment Dev realizes Peri is just another adult in his life stuck with him who doesn’t care about him. Dev falling into the mindset of “if he doesn’t care about me, why should I care about him?” Because angst is just a little fun to think about.
Dev is so desperate for love and attention he tries to get something for his dad by trying to make it work related in the hopes of Dale noticing and agreeing to do “work”. Asking to throw merch boxes back and forth, testing proximity sensors by holding hands this kid will do anything to get something from Dale but it’s not enough.
It’s hard to properly describe the devastation that comes from realizing someone who should love you, who you thought loves you never did. It’s a gut punch over and over again every time you look at them. This recently happened to me and to be frank I’m still not okay from it. You think someone has your back and cares about you but then you come to realize that you’re nothing to them. For me I swing wildly between rage and crying uncontrollably, for a kid as young as Dev I can’t even imagine what that knowledge is doing to him. And what’s worse is even when knowing you don’t matter to this person and that they don’t love you, your love for them doesn’t just….go away. It lingers, longs for some sort of proof that it was just a fluke, that they love you, that you’re not unlovable and the smallest scraps they throw your way have you scrambling to hold onto that, to show them that you are worthy of their love, but it never works, and you’re just tossed away again like trash. You start to wonder if it’s you that’s the problem. You think there has to be something you’ve done to warrant being treated this way. There isn’t though, but to accept that you would also have to contend with the person you love being a monster and it’s not an easy pill to swallow, it’s almost easier to see yourself as the problem and try desperately to try and “fix” whatever your loved one thinks is wrong with you. You live in survival mode just trying to get through it all and it doesn’t just shut off when you’re not around the person or people causing the harm it’s constantly running.
Since this is a kids show I highly highly doubt they’ll really truly dive into the trauma and after affects of dealing with emotional abuse. When I was a kid shows where willing to dive into these topics but shows these days tend to shy away from it (something I have issue with but that’s not the focus of todays post). I just more am sharing because I think some aspects are applicable to Dev.
Again I have a support system, I have friends who worry and care and let me vent and cry and try and deal with it all. Dev has no one in his corner. No adults looking out for him, no friends to offer comfort, he’s painfully alone and dealing with this sheer devastation, pain so bad it’s the tipping point for him getting a Godparent who unfortunately seems overall disinterested in really engaging with Dev in any meaningful way.
Previous posts have somewhat discussed the Dale situation but it was very uh angry for Dev so maybe I can try and write out my thoughts without wanting to commit a crime. Dale is a horrible parent. There isn’t any other way to put it. He’s a shit parent who emotionally abuses and manipulates Dev, who is desperate for his love and affection. Dev tries to sell acts of affection as work related to try and get attention from his dad and is willing to do insane things if it’s what he wants (he seriously considers eating a lizard. This kid is just so desperate for love). Dale emotionally manipulates Dev and tries to use his own past to guilt trip Dev and deny letting him just be a kid. Kids shouldn’t ever have to work, they’re kids they should be able to just be kids but Dale has Dev so spun around and desperate for love he’ll work if it means maybe his dad will love him. It doesn’t work but Dev is desperate and willing to do anything if it means getting even crumbs of affection from his father who can’t even be bothered to great his son and walk away without him forcing Dev to run to catch up.
Dale clearly has been extremely absent from Devs life overall, we see in Peace of Pizza just how excited Dev was when he thought his dad actually came for Dev.
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He’s so happy and carefree and excited to see his dad come to support Dev and the anger when he realizes it’s not Dale hurts all the more. For just a moment he thought maybe his dad did care and want to be there for him but no, he doesn’t even care. It’s notable to me that when he finds out Hazel tried to trick him into thinking his dad came is when Dev really gets angry. He was mostly just playing games and such until that moment when he seems to get genuinely angry and I wonder if that comes from a place of deep hurt. The one thing he wants more then anything is for his dad to actually be there for him, and in his mind Hazel takes that desire and mocks him with it, trying to parade a pretend dad just to use him to get what she wants from him.
This next part is pure speculation but I just don’t know another way to explain this. After Dev revealed he’s lactose intolerant and him being forced to watch everyone else have fun and enjoy something he cannot have a why he was fighting so hard against letting them have one, Hazel mentions they could have ordered him a lactose free version which makes Dev freeze and comment he thought that was a myth. Now I know from a writing standpoint they wanted to make sure it’s Hazel who saves the day, however it carries a very painful implication of Dale likely actively lying to Dev about lactose free alternatives for Dev. I can’t imagine why he would do such a thing, maybe he thinks they taste or smell gross and don’t want them in the house? So he thinks it’s easier to just lie and say they don’t exist and eat pizza and such in front of Dev who can only watch in misery.
And yes I am assuming Dale likely would do this based off of when Dev talks about how he would have to sit and watch everyone enjoy pizza and not get any. He sounds like he’s talking from personal experience and with how sensitive to it he is it feels more like a reaction to something he’s had to deal with before vs a fear of it he has.
Regardless of it I’m correct or not, it is undeniable the school really spectacularly failed Dev in this regard and once again set him up for failure. What do I mean by that? In Peace of Pizza we see Dev show Hazel his allergy card.
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(Yes I am going on a mini tangent here bare with me I didn’t know a better place to put this) now I don’t know about you but I have only ever seen allergy cards like this in either a school setting or perhaps at a large dinner where everyone is defaulted to being served the same plate of food and people with allergies or other dietary restrictions have a card so the server knows they have one of the special plates. This to me indicates the school knows or should reasonably know Dev can’t have lactose. Despite them reasonably knowing Dev can’t have pizza, they do not offer him any alternatives to enjoy as a reward. As a kid when something like this was done, an alternative was given to the kid with allergies so they could still participate in the fun and not feel left out, however for Dev it seems the default is he’s left out. He’s expected to and frowned upon for not participating in Kindness Day despite, in his eyes, him being actively punished if he does. While everyone else gets a reward to enjoy, he would have to watch and be miserable. No, this is not the end of the world obviously but it is incredibly unkind to Dev to not have anything for him that he can enjoy as a reward despite being expected to participate for a reward the school knows he cannot have and it carries an extra sting happening on a day literally called kindness day.
Yes I know that the school is trying to teach kids the importance of kindness so it shouldn’t be about the reward, but again it does feel wildly unfair to reward most students while seemingly singling out one to not get anything. They’re trying to teach kindness while refusing to be kind to one of their students. And further yes I understand this was done so we could see Hazel be a good negotiator and be the hero. Yes fine, but it is hard to ignore the implications this writing choice carries regarding Dev. It shows the school is extremely disinterested at best regarding Dev and his health needs and I don’t blame Dev for not wanting to participate if this is what the school does when Dev has an allergy restriction and can’t enjoy something for the entire class. Hazel has to be the one to wish for a pizza for Dev. It’s not Hazels job to make sure her classmates feel included and have fun. It shouldn’t fall on her shoulders to help her classmates, that should be on the teachers but they didn’t seem to notice or care Dev was feeling left out. The school could afford to buy a whole pile of pizzas it doesn’t feel unreasonable to think they could afford to do something so Dev doesn’t feel so left out.
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Like I don’t know get him Oreos or something it doesn’t have to be big just something so he’s not the only one who doesn’t get anything. Again yes I realize the point was to have Hazel save the day and get her and Dev closer I understand this but that doesn’t change the fact that it makes the school seem to not care about a kid who is already severely emotionally neglected at home. They could have had the school offer an alternative that Dev didn’t like or if they wanted to keep this a secret have Mr. Guzman be the one to hand Dev the lactose free pizza and make some comment and realize he forget to tell Dev or something. Yes it’s not ideal to have him forget to say anything but for me it would be easier to hand wave away then absolutely nothing, and again it just adds onto Dev the feeling that he is unimportant and doesn’t matter. These moments of rejection and loneliness start to add up and get harder and harder to deal with emotionally.
Rewinding some for just a second but in Stanky Danky we do see a brief moment of Dale showing more love and affection to a sentient trash can than Dev. Once again it’s a short moment on screen for us but we can see Dev is pretty upset and hurt by this rejection.
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Dev seems to bounce back from this pretty quickly, possibly he’s used to his dad behaving this way which is a whole other can of worms to open up but at this point, he’s not friends with Hazel and still has his walls up which I think potentially plays a part in this but I’ll circle back to that.
Then theirs the uh infamous statue scene that is emotionally devastating and no one besides Hazel and sort of Wanda seem to recognize how fucked up it is. Even still Hazel forgets all about Dev the second she wins the hat and once again, Dev is a lower priority than an inanimate object. Let me be clear, I am not angry at Hazel, she’s a kid at the end of the day and frankly it’s very easy to distract kids. She’s not a bad kid or friend here for getting distracted I’m just discussing from the Dev side of things that in this episode the two people that matter most to him have placed an inanimate object as their priority over Dev. Whether or not Dev realizes Hazel forgot about him for her hat isn’t exactly clear, but it happened and I talk about it solely because it makes my heart hurt and if I have to suffer so do you.
What’s interesting to me is we see Dev has been suffering for some time, but it’s only after Founders Day that he finally is given a Godparent. Arguably it’s likely the getting direct confirmation that boots are more important to his father then his own son, he bought them on the day Dev was born, seemingly if Devs math is correct, and that overshadowed Devs birth, but I find it interesting to explore some other factors that maybe make the blow feel even worse.
We know Dev hasn’t had a friend before Hazel, she’s really the first person that he called a friend. She helped bring down his sky high walls that his classmates seemed to intimidated by to even attempt to cross over. (I also wonder if somehow a fear of Dale maybe also involved with his lack of friends). And we also know Dale is at best emotionally distant which likely Dev impersonated to try and fit in better with his dad and to try and protect himself from getting hurt. However, Hazel breaks down that protective barrier he’s had on so when his dads statue is revealed and he and Hazel fight, it hurts more then it did previously because he doesn’t have that protection anymore and has to face the full brunt of that pain and rejection. Not only that but he is also, in his mind, losing his first and only friend despite him risking so much trying to keep her safe from his dad. Being rejected hurts, but being rejected while trying to do the right thing? Thats got to be an even bigger emotional blow.
I know some of what happens in the season 1 finale, I don’t know all the details or how we get their but I have a feeling Devs feelings of being unwanted and unloved potentially play a massive role in his breakdown. His school couldn’t care less about him, his dad is emotionally abusive, he doesn’t have any friends and every time he gets a glimpse of happiness it’s brutally ripped away from him. This is a literal 9 year old child, and he’s having to deal with being neglected and ignored by any person in his life who is supposed to really be there for him. It’s realistic to life kids slip through the cracks far too often, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially knowing that things just get worse for him from here. All I can hope is season 2 gives him some relief and he gets someone in his life who genuinely cares about him and will be there for him.
That’s everything so far I have in regards to thoughts about Dev. I always love hearing other people’s thoughts and I certainly will have more as I continue with the season.
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majorproblems77 · 8 months ago
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Sacred Realm updated which means im actually so excited to be making this omg
Hi there Sacred Realm fans! :D
It is I, the one who makes the analysis posts on various comics on the internet. (With permission course) Because I love doing them and they bring me joy.
If you are unaware of what Sacred Realm is, it's a Legend of Zelda AU about a new Link who gets a little medallion that makes him a badass, also it can hold the spirits of heroes from across the realms (Including my fave boy ever okay)
Before I begin, I'll get the important stuff done, This is done with permission from @zelda-the-sacred-realm, and all art from the comics belongs to the comic artist. Please do me a favour and go and check it out because it's a wonderful comic and extremely well-drawn and written.
Now, grab some popcorn, and a drink and please enjoy me rambling about a comic that I enjoy so much. :D
Lets begin!
First, some sass
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Damn, possessed Link got a mouth on him. Low key I love him, he looks like he could go for round two like right now. Wouldn't be surprised if he went for the hero of time next.
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My eyebrows shot up at this.
Time KNOW's
let me repeat that
TIME KNOWS. HE KNOWS WHATEVER IS IN THE MEDALLION CAUSING THIS.
(More on this later)
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He knows he knows he knows he knows he knows
I can hear the mocking voice of Link while he is saying this. Time has experience with this particular entity before.
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Okay, so here is when it gets interesting.
Possessed Link or this entity I suppose, referring to Time and in turn Hylians as 'Your Race' Tells me a couple of things.
This thing in the medallion isn't a Hylian spirit. So as much and as fun as a dark link theory is, I dont think it could be.
Time arguing that we're not perfect, again referring to Hylians sounds very much like an "I'm speaking with a god speech"
I present my theory on what is in the medallion.
An extra spirit, a god of some description, from the spirit realm. Out to get revenge on Hylians.
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Time has been to the spirit realm, in his games. (I am under the assumption that those still occur in this canon please do correct me if I'm wrong here.)
I'm convinced that this thing in the medallion is a deity of some kind because of the eye colour. I can't get over it.
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This style of blue, with no pupils.
We've seen it before.
On Hylia.
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From Chapter 2 fate PT2
And here is the first time we see it on Link for comparison, With Sky's alongside him for comparison for what Hylian eyes look like.
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From Chapter 2 Fate PT3
The colour isn't exact so it can't be Hylia herself I dont think, but, i believe that there is a spirit trying to escape the sacred realm and is using Link to do it.
Okay, enough of my conspiracy theories moving on!
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Link you gotta wake up!
Sky thinks so, I love the coloured speech bubble, what a good idea.
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OH BOY I LOVE THESE PANELS
You know those scenes in video games when you're fighting off something that's trying to possess you and you have that ominous-sounding echo that seems to reverberate through your head. But is also muffled at the same time?
(If I find a game example I'll link it)
This. Put that noise you think off over this.
KICK ITS BUTT LINK GET IT, GET BACK IN HERE.
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These five panels tell so much when it comes to how much effort Link has to go through to fight off the medallion possession. I wonder if its going to be easier or harder for him to fight it off as he gains spirits in the medallion.
You can really feel his struggle and I just love it. The visual storytelling is incredible in this comic and I will fan girl about it all day because I just love it so much
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I'm thinking he says this to gauge just how bad this possession is. time seems like the guy who would, especially as he already seems to know what this is.
I wonder if he really is the hero of realms?
Yes, Time. Yes, he is.
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The face he dosent remember any time he's possessed by the medallion is a little worrying.
Makes me think that could be used later.
Like, Link dosent remember fighting this ice comet now. What if he fights an enemy while possessed, breaks the possession then has to relearn how to defeat it because as possessed link he's not gained any information.
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Man Link is a cinnamon roll sometimes and I love him dearly okay.
Alrighty, thats me finished with my rambling. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this! And thanks again to @zelda-the-sacred-realm for the permission to do these i really appreciate it.
Please please go and check out the rest of the comic if you haven't it's amazing :D
Thats me finished for this chapter, so I'll be headed out!
Hope you have a wonderful day! :D
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bamjammy · 3 months ago
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My Billford friends. I present you: Will Wood. This is song is them. Not up for debate, thanks and I’m correct. Analysis below. Also TBOB spoilers probably
This is a lyric by lyric analysis about why this song is them. Most of (if not all of the song) is Bill’s perspective in my mind, Will Wood definitely captures his weird chaotic energy. Not every lyric matches. That’s ok, I’m just gonna skip those. The song is still them. Lyrics will be in quotes, analysis will be in parentheses and also a different color.
“Why do you wanna kill me?”
(I also hear this as “what are gonna do, kill me?” sometimes cause it’s a little hard to understand him. I feel like both fit a bitter/cocky Bill talking to Ford in the pyramid)
“Say you're still her, the woman you were, and you haven't turned into someone who never could love me again”
(Ok obviously Ford is not a woman, we can just ignore that part. The point of the lyric is the narrator, in this case Bill, wanting reassurance that he is still loved, I feel like this would be more subconscious on Bill’s part, but that denial is absolutely palpable during weirdmaggedon/TBOB)
“'Cause you never broke my heart, no, you fixed it, and now it works, but only enough just to suffer that hurt. Whoa-oh-oh-oh”
(Ok I fucking love this line especially in this context. This is literally their entire dynamic like, c’mon. Bill, up to the point of meeting Ford, had been manipulating people all throughout human history. It really feels like Ford is the first one he got so deeply attached too, so much so that he would want to convince him to join him in ruling over everything as an agent of chaos. Ford was captivated by Bill the moment he met him, believing him to be a higher power capable of provisioning him with what he needs. As their relationship progresses they sort of have a reversal of roles, Ford comes to despise Bill and fear him, Bill comes to be obsessed with Ford. He NEEDS him. God I love this line)
“What can I say to convince you to slip back into my arms again? I won't do you no harm again. Let me tell you that I'm sorry and that-”
(I don’t think Bill would ever say sorry out loud unless it was specifically to be manipulative, but after reading TBOB there is clear regret at losing Ford. Even if it’s not remorse you can tell he wishes he’d gone about things differently even though he refuses to admit it. Also the “slip back into my arms again” thing, again I associate with him trying to convince Ford to join him in weirdmaggedon.)
“I'm just a little bit crazy about you, Just a little bit out of my mind, Just a little insane without you”
(Bill’s always been a little insane by nature of who he is, but he goes to such extremes to get Ford to stay with him (see TBOB missing journal pages) and then STILL tries to convince him during weirdmaggedon after he’d already been rejected and despised. He makes him CRAZY. It’s kind of sad)
“Please come back and be just a little bit mine- Just a little bit mine”
(He wants him back soooooo bad it’s really just pathetic at this point)
“I never thought, and if I did, I forgot while blacked out in love”
(I don’t think Bill thinks through much of what he does to Ford in those desperate moments if at all. They’re just that- desperate. Can also be interrupted as Bill possessing Ford, when he “blacks out” and finds himself harmed or in danger, he obviously can’t remember those moments when Bill takes over. Bill interrupts this as “blacked out in love” either to justify it to himself or to convince himself Ford still loved him. I think that’s a fun interpretation)
“That what's only starting would've come to an end but now, I'm hungover and hung out to dry, and I'm giving it time”
(Time passes faster for Bill, it should feel like a blip in his life but it consumes him. The “hungover” part, see TBOB “Losing Sixer”. It’s the best page)
“Does not knowing the truth turn my words into lies? Whoa-oh-oh-oh”
(I could see him absolutely trying to play dumb in last ditch attempt to get Ford to trust him again. Fucking loser lmao)
“What can I say to convince you or do to make you agree with me?”
(Again, desperate. See all my previous allusions to the weirdmaggedon scene)
“I don't need you to be with me, Just try to remember what you'd see in me”
(I feel like this line could be a breaking point for Bill, where he’s desperately grasping at anything to make Ford continue his work, including harming, threatening him, etc. I know a lot of these lines have come back to the same thing but it’s just. The vibes, y’know? I feel like this is specifically the part where Bill tries to call Stan, which scares Ford into actually reaching out to him, Bill inadvertently causing his own demise. That’s from TBOB btw. I warned you about spoilers)
(Cut the chorus since I already analyzed it)
“I'll be here singing 'til our heartbeats might slip back into that rhythm again”
(Bill waiting for the right moment to strike. The moment Ford steps out of the portal Bill sees an opportunity, he’s done biding his time. You feel me?)
“Whether it is or isn't the end, Who cares? God knows that I could use a friend!”
(Bill is living in so much denial it’s suffocating. I mean, it’s not even just Ford, it’s his whole life. He’s in denial about how people in his home dimension treated him, he’s in denial about the fact that he’s not all powerful, he’s in denial about how similar he is to humans, and he’s in denial about Ford not loving him (and also in denial about Loving Ford). There is no end because he refuses to accept it, but then tries to brush it off like he doesn’t care, because he’s in denial about caring. My boy, YIKES!!!)
Cut the rest of the song cause it’s just the chorus again but longer. Anyway yeah the point of this is Bill is a desperate freaky ex with weirdo Will Wood energy, Will Wood’s music is good and I love it and you should listen to him if you haven’t, and I’m not normal about them and their weird fucking dynamic. Enjoy and eat well my strange creatures
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erithel · 3 months ago
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Piggybacking off of your response to the previous ask, man can I just say what an utter clusterfuck the whole "gone" situation was follower-wise... i'm gonna make this about me so sorry about that, however i'm the kind of person that can't really articulate their thoughts, can't see through the layers as clearly as others and when people post a thoughtful analysis that reflects my feelings about the fic while the best thing I can come up with is something like "wow, fic good❤️" (which yeah I know is still fine but anyway) it makes me feel so much better because what is trapped in my head is articulated as I wanted to express it... that being said, seeing you explore ptsd and lance's grief like this stirred smth in me, I cried at times, so I was very excited to see people in your asks sharing their thoughts and all... And then they didn't seem to care so much about it (not all of them obvs) and at first it was like "hahah yeah.. we all want them to kiss xd lol" but then seeing you post about how people would essentially flood your asks for klance to KISS ALREADY™ plus with other general stuff... Idk if it was frustrating for me I can't even begin to imagine how it was for you, because this is like.. still a story, just in comic form, so yes it has an arc it need to complete. We could see the episode count from the beginning too if I remember correctly, so being so insistent about it was weird? Either way, it was a story and it was getting somewhere and spamming about when your ship will be canon is kind of annoying. So sorry this happened to you and so happy you pushed through! I binge it on the regular!
I feel like I could do a Ted Talk on the etiquette of commenting at this point, through my own experience, and also reading comments my friends have received on their work.
But essentially what it boils down to is two things:
Creators put a lot of work into their stories, and
They choose to write stories their way
The way that I write fan content (both fics and comics) is because these stories and these subjects are important to me. Some of them are very personal, too. And I know I am not the only creator who chooses to write this way.
Obviously the way I reacted to the "just kiss already" comments may have seemed like an overreaction from the outside (I thank you for being understanding in your ask btw).
But the message those constant comments were sending was a very clear one of:
All the thought/time/work you put into this story does not matter
Everyone who ever told you to "just get over it" was right
Grief can be a very physical and powerful thing.
Losing someone you love leaves you with this excess of love and affection that now has no where to go. You used to have a place to direct it, and when that place is suddenly gone, it takes a while to learn how to function again; to redistribute that love.
It's something that never goes away, it just gets manageable. And it's definitely not something you can "just get over."
I'm not saying I'm the greatest storyteller of all time, but I was tired of reading books and watching movies and shows where the characters never felt the aftermath of a loss. They all just moved onto the next episode or the next chapter like nothing ever happened.
And I do think it's important to tell stories like this in fanfiction. Because many readers are younger. Many readers rely on reading fanfiction because it's free. Many readers need hope and catharsis. And getting to read about their favorite characters go through terrible things but realistically come out on the other side is, to me, very important. Because the stories we read - no matter if they are free or published works - can stick with us for the rest of our lives.
This is why it was such a big deal for me. Because I was trying to tell a story that said "Please take your time to get over things. Please know that it's okay if you don't immediately snap back to the way things were. Please know that it's okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling." And getting comment after comment that said the exact opposite was honestly just crushing.
I would take a "wow, fic good" comment any day. Because it acknowledges what has been done, instead of demands things to speed up to suit someone else's needs.
And, on a slightly more petty note... it was a klance fan comic. It's not like they weren't going to kiss. They just weren't going to do it in the middle of an argument where it wouldn't have stuck!
(I do also think it's funny that there's a perfect comic example of a kiss happening too early, before communication which happened right around the same time as Gone. And for the record, she's gotten way more and way worse comments than I did, so that's something worth mentioning, too.)
The point is that some stories are very personal to the author and very important to certain members of the audience. Of course no single story will be for everyone, but just because it is not going a certain way does not mean it's okay to demand it be changed.
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aleksanderscult · 11 months ago
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I loved your analysis! Can you analyse the (barely there, not enough) Darklina scenes from the KOS duology? I could not rationalize some of what was going on there.
First of all, I'm so sorry for taking that long to reply, anon! (Hasn't it been over two weeks since you send this or what??😭😭)
Second, thank you so much for your kind words! 💗💗
Third, you and I both friend 🤝🤝
'Cause honestly I didn't know what the fuck was happening in that interaction too 😭
I'll actually analyze the only Darklina scene we got in RoW. But if you want another one too, just send me an ask!
So! Let's dive in and analyze that hot mess, shall we?
(note: I had to go back and read this scene very carefully in order to understand what the actual fuck they were saying💀)
⚠️TW!: PTSD, trauma⚠️
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The way he's so obedient with her even in this life 😭
If somebody else had ordered him to do that, he wouldn't obey. But Alina? Alina is a different story and this is the first time he hears her voice since his death in R&R.
'Any little victory'
Uhh....okay...??
You made him wipe his feet. I'm.... impressed??
(confusion levels 📉)
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LMAO MY BOY WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENCE
I always believed that the dynamic between Aleksander and Alina involves lots of teasing. But not in the fun sense. But in the sense of "I'm getting under your skin. My words to you sting".
And that's what the Darkling does here too. He's a prisoner. Their prisoner. So he tries to gain the upper hand by using his wits, his past with Alina and the latter's trauma against her to get even.
Pretty clever, huh?
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See what I mean?
He tries to weaken her confidence and it's interesting that back in Keramzin he also tried to get even (and he did) by killing her mother figure.
Aleksander: "Wanna fuck with me? Wanna mess with me? How about that time when I burnt that orphanage and killed your "mother"?"
*Alina's sure confidence is gone and now the Darkling has the upper hand in her feelings*
OUTSTANDING MOVE 👌
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Excuse me, Misha? Who the Hell gave you the permission to interrupt or talk at all??
Also, do you really expect from the Darkling to remember a little boy while he was too busy trying to rule a nation, win a war and persuade Alina to join him?
And if you also expect him to remember you from that time when Baghra went out to confront her son while you escorted her, then you're also wrong. 'Cause he was too busy being furious that his mother sided and helped the opposite side and too busy being distraught because he was watching her fall to her death.
You're not important, son.
Sit down.
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LMAO THIS IS SO HILARIOUS
Misha you're still an infant. Please shut up.
I honestly liked him in the Grisha Trilogy (I found him a cutie) but now I want to slap him and everyone else in this duology except Aleksander
The Darkling has survived numerous murdering attempts against him. He was finally killed by Alina not because of some grand display of her powers but because the former was so heartbroken by Alina's fate (and his own because he would be alone) that he just gave up on his life. Basically he committed suicide.
Misha, you wouldn't be able to kill him even now that he's powerless and in chains. Probably you would stumble and fall in the effort or smth.
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Uhh actually no, Mal.
Threating him only makes you sound like idiots, honestly.
Also, since when did Mal gained ✨wisdom✨?
Wasn't he the hot-tempered one in the trilogy who always got angry with the mere mention of the Darkling? And the one who wanted to kill him as well?
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Alina, you know damn well what his name is.
Honestly, I think she didn't say it because she wanted to respect the fact that he trusted her to keep it.
And I agree that Yuri is a horrible name for him. Makes him seem like a fisherman 😭
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Meanwhile Alina in S&B:
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So either Bardugo kinda forgot these scenes or we're led to believe that these scenes weren't her being happy, but we thought she was happy.
(me casually ignoring that theory because I choose to believe only the things that MAKE SENSE)
The fact that Bardugo made Alina believe that she was unhappy when she was whole with her powers and surrounded by people like her but totally happy now that she has no powers (a part of her soul actually) and living with a man that slut-shamed her in a toxic, childhood place is umm... yeah. Not good.
So basically:
Aleksander: "You look different. You look like shit. What the fuck did they do to you? This is not you"
Alina: "No bro I'm happy now that I live in toxic conditions where the teachers mock me, Mal takes me out for a walk to forget my psychological traumas and I raise some Grisha children that will fade because they don't use their powers and some others that I probably am in no condition to raise. At least that's what the author said is happiness, bro."
Aleksander: "......."
Alina: "......"
The readers: "........."
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ALEKSANDER IS HONESTLY ALL OF US FRR WITH HIS LINES
"In peace"
Yeah, having PTSD certainly is peaceful. And knowing that you abandoned your country and left its fate to chance certainly makes you sleep like a baby at night.
"We chose the life we wanted"
Alina, you didn't CHOOSE to lose your powers. And before that you didn't even know what you wanted to do with your life. It was a last minute decision for you.
"I fell pray to the same greed that drove you"
Girl, are we the only ones who did our homework??
In his POV in RoW he confirmed that he tampered with merzost in the past because he wanted to stop Ravka's wars. So as far as we know he never used power exclusively for himself.
"I paid the price for tampering with merzost"
Now hold a second. I thought that the reason Alina lost her powers is because Morozova wanted that said power to be shared by any otkazat'sya around. It wasn't that much of a punishment as much as a need for Morozova to share that power.
Unless it was..... both?
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I just want a guy that will believe in me and my abilities the way Aleksander does with Alina, man 😭
He strongly believes that she could become a Queen even without her powers. And he's actually so right when he says to her that her wounds won't heal. Because no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are alright. No matter how hard you try to persuade your mind that you're not broken, reality will always hit you. Some wounds never heal and Alina's certainly will not. She didn't lose a toy, she lost a part of her soul and witnessed many die. How the hell does she think she's suitable to raise children, when she herself is NOT okay psychologically?
"In the wake of your wars"
Excuse me. Why is the Fjerdan and Shu wars always the Darkling's fault??
"And maybe when our country is free, then that wound will close"
She sounds so brainwashed bye--
And just like I said, wounds like that never close unfortunately. It can only become more bearable with time. But not forgetable.
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Ah yes. Bardugo makes us watch how cute their relationship is.
Am I supposed to take off my camera and snap pictures of them whispering with tears in my eyes: "They look so adorable"?
'Cause I won't.
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The way Bardugo has made Mal unfazed by the Darkling's comments. A thing that completely contrasts his nature in the Grisha trilogy.
He also made him have "sassy" lines because we've got to like him somehow, right? 🤗
Still hate him
Basically, dear anon, the author has made Mal more "likeable", immune to the Darkling's insults, patient and witty in order for us to change our mind about him and finally like him.
(mission failed btw)
He is literally nothing like his trilogy counterpart and, if possible, she made him more annoying.
(how the hell she managed to do that, I don't know)
I just feel sorry for Aleksander who has to deal with all these jerks. If I were there, I would have helped him kill them and bury their bodies.
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Because you let your heart and feelings get the better of you, Aleksander. Because you proved to be the most human of all these characters here. You let her come close. And that's what killed you.
(also, shut up Misha)
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Alina, you could have said "no" to that invitation. So stop acting like they dragged you from the hair here.
"Do you think you could manage it?"
Do you, Alina? 'Cause really, what did YOU do to make the lives of Grisha better? At least he built a palace for them.
"It's not like you didn't get a fair try before. Hundreds of tries"
Yeah, and half of them failed because you got in the way. You refused to listen to him and, even if you didn't like the way he dealt with the persecution, you chose to run away (again) instead of deciding to stay and do better.
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SHE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT ZOYA AND NIKOLAI COULD DO BETTER LMAO 😭😭
Zoya, the very fact that he mentioned you should feel like a badge of honor.
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And yet Ravka is in its worst condition ever.
Sorry Alina but I don't see shit from them.
The fact that the Darkling keeps mentioning that he's eternal is to remind them that he has seen everything and done everything. He has more experience than they will ever have. Not to gloat about it. And yet Alina takes it as the latter.
And it's funny that Alina turns him down for the job saying he has no powers when Alina herself suffers from the same condition 😀
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Finally someone with self-reflection.
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THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!
PREACH!! PREACH!! 👏👏
When you have the "villain" exposing the true problem in the story, the flaws and failures while having the heroes screaming "EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU'RE WRONG!" then you know that something is wrong.
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How the Hell are they gonna provide eternal peace in Ravka and to the Grisha when:
They have no experience
They are too busy criticizing the villain instead of looking at their own flaws
They doubt themselves
(you can add to the list, guys)
And he's not shaken because he's talking with a Saint, Zoya. He's shaken because he's talking to Alina. She always had a way in getting under his skin. He said it.
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"Fine. Make me your villain" fits here 'cause he never perceived himself as the bad guy but he knew that this is what others thought of him.
I think it still stung to him to know that others saw his every action in a negative light but he still kept going. And sometimes he even used it (at the end of R&R).
Alina still wants to believe that there's something redeemable inside him. Her POVs were always the "kindest" in the way they painted the Darkling.
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MISHA COULD YOU PLEASE SHUT IT
What about his mother, huh??
Who, despite the abuse he suffered from her, he still cared about??
Alina?? Oh boy, he was in love with her, obsessed and gave her so many chances. Something that he almost never does unless he's desperate.
So PRETTY PLEASE STOP TALKING
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Meanwhile the Darkling in R&R, chapter 11:
"I have regretted many of the things I’ve had to do in this war."
So either Bardugo forgot that or Alina did or Aleksander changed his mind.
Or (my theory) Bardugo changed his perception in order for us to feel less sympathetic towards him.
Nevertheless, at least he has a spine and knows where he stands.
And Alina wanted the Darkling to say it not for him but for her. So she can feel okay. Unless Zoya is talking bullshit.
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YES ALEKSANDER WHY DIDN'T YOU LIE SO OUR HEROINES COULD FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES???!!
HOW DARE YOU?? 😠😠
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He tries so hard to persuade her that the reality she lives in will not pay off anything. First off, this is not who she is or what she was meant to become and second, why does she teaches children stories that are lies? Feeding them false hope, repeating a circle that others had also been doing.
"Do you *really* believe..."
He wants to make sure that she stands by that. He just can't believe that this is her opinion. Her choice.
He just wants her to shine people!! 😭😍
"Those stories tell us the only people who matter are Kings and Queens. They're wrong"
Now tell me, Alina, which stories do YOU tell them? What do you teach them? That the world is as rosy as the orphanage they live in, where they only eat sugar and play the piano? Do you imagine what kind of reality check will those children get once they live in the real world?
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And here, ladies and gentlemen, we see the Darkling having reached his limits and saying "Fuck this shit I'm out"
Congratulations, Aleksander! You survived that meeting with these buffoons and their groundless arguments!! 👏👏
Here, have this! 🏅
He saw his chance (Alina holding Mal's hand) and seized it. But I think he really meant all those questions he asked to Alina.
So, dear anon, what we have here is the villain making his effort (again) to be heard and understood. He tries to make them see his own point of view: Ravka is in serious danger and Zoya and Nikolai are in no position to protect it. He, on the other hand, can since he has more experience and balls to deal with these issues. The Darkling is no pussy. He truly makes hard decisions when he must, something that essentially all rulers must do when the situation calls for it.
But! We have the good guys silencing him and threating him (even having a little child to do the last one) in order for the reader to understand what he has left in his wake. How much pain he has caused.
Mal has gotten ✨magically✨ wiser and calmer and has actual wits to repel the Darkling's insults in order for us to get to like Mal and see how much he has changed.
Alina sounds like a brainwashed woman who is convinced that her lifestyle is great! That wanting something more (idk. a throne and changing the world maybe) is sinful and unfitting of her.
Aleksander is the only one who thinks otherwise for her, though. Thank God, I mean!
He sought Alina out both to reclaim his powers and because he just wanted to see her.
Personally, in this scene only the Darkling makes sense. The others either want to feel good about themselves by threating him or want to convince him that "Hey, we're the good ones here. We know what we're doing, okay?" and his own ways are shit.
Dear anon, if you have any other questions or want me to analyze any other Darklina scene from this book or duology that I didn't include, then just say so!
And please any others who want to add something about this scene, feel free to criticise in the comments! 💛💛
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not-eli · 1 year ago
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Some peeps asked for Heather character analysis and that's literally what I live for so let's go
pay attention this is long.
Heather is portrayed since the very beginning like the perfect example of the word brat. Her literal first line is, "I'm calling my parents, you can't force me to stay here!"
Even though this could hint that she has a very close relationship with her parents, at the same time in the extra clips for the parents from home we understand that her parents aren't really so caring for her, since they were celebrating at the thought of her leaving.
Even if this can seem controversial, there's a perfect explaination for this kind of behaviour:
As an example, my cousin is a goddamn brat (so glad my family doesn't know about my blog), always whining and asking for my aunt's phone, even cussing in front of his parents, and he's about 5. The thing is, due the desire of not hearing him protest my uncles tried to please him in everything, giving him what he asked so he would stop crying.
i think that Heather's parents kind of did the same: They complied with her every request so as not to hear her complain, not because they cared about her but because they wanted her to keep quiet. Heather of course got used to this and that's literally all she knows. She knew that if she conplained, she would get what she wanted.
We also know that her parents used elettro shock therapy on her in order to "make her nicer" which also hints that they didn't have a goddamn clue of what to do with her.
Furthermore, in tda when she thought she was about to die she wrote her will where she left most of her possessions to her mother. Plus, when Chris offered the team a chance to talk to the person they were closest with, who was the person suggested to Heather? That's right, the mother.
When she "opens up" a little to Harold she asks, "do you think it's good to be hated by everyone?"
I think that her bratty behaviour, maybe even in order to gain a little of attention from her parents, led people to stay away from her and to cope she became even worse, trying to convince herself that it wasn't her, it was them.
In an extra clip (cannot find it) we learn from her younger brother that she was used to be seen as "unattractive" when she was younger, which adds to the whole "no one likes me but who cares" thing.
I have the feeling that she closed herself off for so long to avoid being seen as weak, someone who can't provide for herself. We know that her number one objective is winning and only winning, she wants the money and for what? To start a life of her own, show the world that she's Heather and she's so worth it.
However, we sometimes caugh some moments of weakness: When she broke down while teaming up with Harold, when she looked upset when Lindsay and Beth stayed away from her (who, to remember, were the only friends she made on the show), when she comforted Courtney after the whole cheating thing and lord, even when Sierra the creepy crazy girl got hurt she showed to care for her. Also, did you see how happy she looked when Cody called her "the good guy"? (well not exactly but you get my point) or when she won?
And when she fell for Alejandro, she probably thought that was stupid - why falling for a boy that will just slow you down, break your heart?
Heather is hated by everyone, it's true. But deep inside she's just a girl that never understood how the world really worked. She never got how she had to actually behave in order to be liked. When she and Alejandro had that lovey dovey honeymoon phase she genuinely looked so happy because he was treating her like a literal queen. In my opinion, she finally felt respected and that was enough for her. Until Chris mentioned the money that is.
She deserves to win again :(
@math-is-math
@cass-hector-simp
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schoolmysteryno69 · 1 year ago
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META ANALYSIS - Mitsukou (part 1)
General topic - how they’re written as a one of the romantic couples in the story
Before I start, I need to say few things:
1. I’m not native english speaker. I’m probably going to make a lot of errors and mistakes, mix times, have a lacking vocabulary etc. Please be ready for it. I want to write my meta post anyway, so I would be happy if you will stay to the end with me!
2. If you do not like Mitsukou/hate this ship or anything like that - maybe this post it's not for you. It's totally okay to ship different thing and like different things, I don’t mind. My post is not a starter for a discussion tho, I’m not interested in discourses, argues and hate. I don’t really plan to “prove” anything to anyone or force you to change your mind, whole post is only MY analysis and my point of view. You are not obligated to feel the same way I feel, to see things the same way I see them. 
3. I’m not interested in proving if Mitsukou is going to ever be canon or anything. I don’t know that. I’m also not going to analyze if they’re ever going to be a CANON COUPLE or an ENDGAME COUPLE. It’s only about if they’re written as a romantic relationship, and being written as a romantic couple =/= being a canon couple, they’re a lot of pairs in media that definitely are written as a romantic relationship without them being together ever or being an endgame. I’m not going to speculate about endgame, especially when one of the characters is supernatural and one is a human. 
Okay, I think we can start now!
Let's start from the beginning. Because my first language is not english my post may be a little bit chaotic, putting all my thoughts in at least some order and with at least some sense it's actually hard, haha. In part 1 I will try to cover the first meeting between Kou and the ghost of Mitsuba.
So!
They first met during chapter 18. And it was meeting between Kou and ghost of a Mitsuba Sousuke, so it wasn’t our currently Mitsuba - it worth to mention they're not the same person, even if they are extremely similar, share a lot elements of their personalities, they look nearly the same, and current Mitsuba even share some dead Sousuke's memories because of School Mystery No. 4 Shijima Mei and her Picture Perfect arc. Still - not the same person and Mitsuba Kou met in chapter 18 is not the current Mitsuba. 
At the beginning they're not really that much written as a romantic, their short arc was more like something starting Kou’s personal arc and his development. He got some background, some motivation, some angst, he changed. For most part Kou behaved pretty normal, just like himself - a selfless, lively boy that really wanted to help a lonely, sad ghost that Mitsuba was. (he wasn’t traumatized yet). Even if some of their interaction could be readed with a shippy glasses, there wasn’t anything that was inherently romantic about them. 
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I think it's kind of ironic how this is literally their first panel in the manga. Mitsuba literally looks like some kind of eldritch horror and he says “Did you forget about me?”. Yeah Kou, did you? This quite sums some elements of their arc. We know that Kou actually did forget about Mitsuba, who was one of his classmates. Also, Kous' trauma, related to everything that happened to Mitsuba, hunts him for the rest of the story. He also, clearly has a problem with recognition of both Mitsubas, with dealing with Ghost Mitsuba death and with the idea of forgetting someone and leaving someone. We also know that, when current!Mitsuba was made by Tsukasa, he didn’t remember Kou. That's why this quote here is very ironic. 
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There is nothing really to analyze here but I find it funny. Yeah, you quite literally just haunted the wrong guy and it’s going to be a problem for you and said guy for the next 15 volumes of the manga. Good luck. 
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Even after calling Mitsuba an “evil spirit” Kou still tries to help him and even decides to “take the big tough guy approach” to make Mitsuba feel safer about him. Kou is not really “the big tough guy”, even if he tries to pose as one. He is a 14 yo kid with kind of fucked up situation in life, even, if he doesn’t recognize it yet. 
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Maybe you could learn something from Kous stupid earning, mr. boy who DIED in the car accident.
It's definitely not an accident that Mitsuba died hit by a car and Kou has a BIG earning with a big caption “TRAFFIC SAFETY”. Even after reading all chapters up to 103 I’m not really sure how I should interpret this exact symbolism in their relationship, but it's definitely done on purpose by the authors. I think it may symbolize that Kou, with a “traffic safety” earning will save Mitsuba, who previously died in a traffic accident from dying another time? Like, now Mitsuba have Kou by his side and maybe Kou will manage to keep him safe. His earning is mentioned by Mitsuba too many times, it's done so we can notice it, for sure. And I wonder how it turns out. 
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It’s the first time Mitsuba suggests that Kou either has some kind of feelings toward him, tries to do something dirty towards him or something similar. Every time he just jokes or tries to provoke Kou or something like that. At first I thought it's just how Mitsuba is, some people love to joke like that, but then I noticed, later in the story, that Kou is quite literally the only person Mitsuba ever does this to. Sure he does not have many friends “his age” but still during the manga it would be possible for him to behave like that toward other characters, but he does not. He jokes like that only toward Kou and I think during the next parts of my writing I will point it out more.
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Even after 20 minutes of insulting he is still concerned about Mitsuba. That's so funny and sweet. 
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Yeeeaaah sure it totally does not relate in any way to the fact that ghost Motsuba got to die after taking a photo of KOU out of everything yeeeeaaaah nada nope. It's crazy how the authors planned this because Hanako really started as some kind of funny manga about kids and ghosts and supernatural things, but the angst we get later is actually top notch and kinda scary. There was few moments I really had to like, stand up and walk in my room because of the emotions I felt after reading.
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Look how happy he is with the idea of being a model to the Mitsubas photos. He is bright, smiling and even blushing. The next ironic thing is how he cried after actually seeing a picture of himself made by Mitsuba. Also I like how prominent his earning is here.
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Mitsuba is very particular, he really made pictures only of animals, plants and other non-human things. That's probably why his photo of Kou hit me like a train. That's literally narratively confirming that Mitsuba saw Kou as something (someone) he likes, someone that is important to him. Kou also realized it after seeing the picture, that was one of the reasons why he was so devastated.
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There are few things about that whole scene I would like to point up. The first are doves. Mitsuba, especially Ghost Mitsuba, is often presented with doves as a form of his symbolism. Doves and cherry blossoms are probably the most prominent symbols of his character. I’m not really that good when it comes to symbols, but I think doves symbolize things like peace, but also some form of innocence/purity and love. Some sources also say about transformation and spirituality. I think one of the reasons for choosing doves is to symbolize how he didn’t deserve to die like that, that his soul is actually good and seeks for peace. In Kou’s eyes he is also someone innocent, definitely. Especially when we are talking about ghost Mitsuba at the beginning of a story. 
ALSO I’m pretty sure birds are foreshadowing to current!Mitsuba being made from the school mystery no. 3 who looked like a bird and who current!Mitsuba gained a lot of his characteristics from. Current!Mitsuba hair looks like feathers, his hand looks like talons etc. He is heavily associated with birds from the beginning. Even if Ghost!Mitsuba is associated with doves more and current!Mitsuba with ravens or crows. 
The next thing about this scene is Kou finally realizing he knew Mitsuba and it hit him. Understanding that Mitsuba actually KNEW Kou and it was Kou who didn’t remember him probably made him feel remorse and generally really bad about himself. That’s not a nice thing if you forget about a boy who was with you in a class, and the fact that ghost Mitsuba actually tried to talk to him and asked him “Did you forget about me”... It's hard for me to even imagine what Kou felt at that moment. 
Also, Mitsuba surely didn’t know about Kou being from an exorcist family, so he wouldn't expect that Kou will take direct action after meeting a ghost lol. If it comes to Mitsuba, I’m pretty sure it was very scary.
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I wish we could see more of them like that. Just like two boys having fun with each other. I love angst, trust me. But I think they deserve rest and to just have a chance to play and talk a be… normal for once. Everytime when they get a chance to have fun they’re cute and hilarious together. 
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Rain can symbolize sadness and hard emotions soooo yeah, I’m not surprised it started raining. I think it sort of symbolizes feelings of both Kou and Mitsuba here.
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They’re going to the third floor and I’m sure it's foreshadowing to Mitsuba becoming a School Mystery no. 3. 
I’m still impressed how much foreshadowing is during their first meeting (chap 18-20). Like the birds, nr 3, traffic safety earning, motif of remembering/forgetting etc. You could also think that photography would be something like that but… it's not. Photography becomes a thing that is helping recognizing human/ghost Mitsuba from current supernatural Mitsuba. They’re similar but not the same person. Photos were one of the main characteristics of the original Mitsuba, both in this arc and during a moment with Mitsubas mother later. It was always about photos, but it's never about photos when it comes to our current Mitsuba.
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Yeah, that kind of explains why Kou didn’t remember him immediately, even after seeing how Mitsuba looks and hearing his surname he should know. Because, like, Kou should remember him, they were in the same class, sit close to each other etc. But the mask that Mitsuba created was so strong that made him nearly imperceptible (like, you know, a ghost hah) and at this point tbh I don’t think Mitsuba liked it very much. He is actually a pretty bold and cocky person and all of this probably bugged him. Of course he wasn’t bullied, but was it worth becoming somebody different, somebody boring and bland to others? I think there is some form of regret. But also I don’t think that ALL of this was a mask, because Mitsuba definitely has some of a calmer and more sweet side to himself, he showed it a lot of times.
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He tries to fix it up by recognizing him now for who he is. With both his positive and negative aspects, even if he points out mostly his flaws. Still, this is the Mitsuba he met, the Mitsuba he knows and the Mitsuba he IS GOING TO remember. Mitsuba he befriended now. It actually means a lot for Sousuke. He is dead, he may have thought that it's the end for him and for all of his relationships he ever had. Its funny how Mitsuba said he is a ghost because he still wanted to do photos, but the truth is he wanted relationships, but the true ones. Not based on his “fake” nice self, but on real him with all his flaws and that's why he haunted other students rather than just… go do photos or something. He tried to connect to others, because he subconsciously thought relationships and friends he had when he lived weren’t really true and real. It’s ironic how it resembles the current!Mitsuba in Picture Perfect act. 
Kou started to realize who Mitsuba was and how tragic his situation was, he started to empathize. Kou has a martyr complex, so he wanted to help Mitsuba any way he could. It was also shown that he does LIKE Mitsuba even with his twisted personality, Kou said it himself and it surely means a lot for Mitsuba who wasn’t liked before for his true personality. That was probably the moment Mitsuba felt a real bond towards Kou and become attached to him. 
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And Kou even blushed a few times.That would still be read as platonic and sweet tho!. I think it was, personally. The most important thing during their first meeting was, of course, how it ended, because, in my opinion, it was a moment when most (not all tho) Kou's mental problems started. There was still his family, of course. Teru loves Kou very much, but still his mentality and behavior was a root for Kou’s low self esteem and some other elements of his personality, tho I think it may be a topic for a whole different post.
In this small arc, in my opinion, the moment that was the beginning of me perceiving them as written as one of the couples, a romantic relationship was this exact moment:
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“I don’t know… maybe something important to me?” 
And also a moment when Kous saw this picture for the first time, when he developed photos, and how this cracked him.
Generally, becoming friends with Mitsuba was very important to Kou. Not only because he wanted to help him (and, internally, also making Kou feel better about himself) but also it was probably the first time when… Kou may feel somewhat special? He always was in the shadow of Teru, he wasn’t an “official” exorcist, he wasn't going to missions in the town, he wasn’t very strong (Hanako literally KO’ed him without a sweat and Kou couldn't do much to Hanako), the girl he got a small crush on (Nene) clearly had something with Hanako… Kou was always pushed back and now, with Mitsuba, he made an actually special relationship between the only two of them. He felt NEEDED, and we all know how much Kou desperately needs to feel NEEDED. In his own mind, he was the only one that could help Mitsuba and that understood Mitsuba, that's why Mitsubas ghost death was so hard for him. He finally got something special for himself and he couldn't even protect it and he let lonely, poor ghost tragically vanish. That's some trauma for you.
I’m not going to write much about Mitsubas feelings there because it was Sousuke Mitsubas feelings - and currently I’m going to focus more on a School Mystery Mitsuba. Tho Sousuke definitely perceived Kou and his help as something special to him. That's where their fated bond started. 
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“You can help me develop them tomorrow and then… I think I’ll be okay”.
Yet we can’t see his eyes when he speaks, and that suggests he thinks something different that what he speaks. Not showing eyes is a common motif to show that a character is lying or saying something he does not think or hiding something. Here is just like that - it’s not about photos, it's about KOU. It’s because of Kou he is going to be okay, not because of the photos he took today. Something changed for Mitsuba when Kou recognized him for someone he actually is and wanted to become friends with him. For Mitsuba it means a lot because when he was alive he couldn’t get true friends and real relationships with others. 
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Yeah walk walk trauma baby. I know I mention  ‘trauma” a lot when it comes to Kou, but the whole manga is like a one big parade of traumas for this boy and it's not even funny. I’m not surprised he is starting to become more and more insane with every next arc. Especially in the Night Out small arc we can clearly see how detached from actual reality Kou starts to be and how he stops recognizing differencs between supernatural and real word, good and evil, selfless and selfish behavior etc. It’s all the result of the traumatic situations he was put in for like 16 volumes straight. And he is bearing it A LOT WORSE than Nene is.
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Ouch. 
“You wished for people remembering you but now youre happy with just a one person?” That hits hard but also I’m angry at Tsukasa, like leave that boy alone.Even one person can make a change in someones life, and thats what Mitsuba felt at a moment. For Kou he was someone, he was real, he had a personality, Kou recognized him and that gives him a true sense of identity. For him it was enough
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You met like half of a day before and you are calling him your friend and fighting for him with an unknown dangerous supernatural who looks exactly like your other friend. Bruh that's some dedication. Kou is desperate to save Mitsuba, but Kou is generally desperate to be a savior. He tries to “save” Nene a lot of times even if it’s not really necessary, because Nene also has other friends and people who support her and is pretty clever and capable of bearing problems on her own (most of the time). Yet Kou still treats Nene like some damsel in distress that need his protection when it's CLEARLY not like that. Sadly, Kou mostly fails anyway. He fails now with Mitsuba and if it comes to Nene, if she needs saving, the person who (usually) saves her is Hanako. Kou rarely has something he can actually do and it's cracking him up mentally.
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Yeah, “I’m supernatural who grants wishes” not “I’m a ghost of a boy who once lived in this town”. Yeah. It was right here from the beginning.
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I just hope it’s not a form of foreshadowing.
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His last words were “Minamoto-kun”, it's so sad. On this last panel he actually looked a little brighter than on the previous panel of his transformation, and that's because he looked at Kou. 
I need to say, seeing a person you treat important to you and calling a friend dying in a horrible way and hearing their last words being your name must be pretty stressful. It would probably haunt me for a long time and I’m sure Kou is still affected by it.
On the 20 chapter cover Mitsuba is together with the rest of the main squad (Nene, Hanako, Kou). It was pretty weird back then - he literally died and looks like he was going to be a one-arc character that started Kous character development, but this cover was a hint that it's going to be different and Mitsuba, probably, is going to play a whole different role in the story. He, also, had a hand around Kous head and nearly touched his hair gently - its a symbol of intimacy. 
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That was a proof how strong, narratively, their relationship is and is going to be during the progression of a story. And, in my opinion, a foreshadowing to Mitsubas feelings. Because I think currently, our Mitsuba is aware of his feelings toward Kou, but I’m going to cover this topic a little bit later. 
On this cover there is a lot more symbolism,especially with Hanako and his role in the story, but it's also a thing for a whole different post. 
What Tsukasa said was that Mitsubas wish was ‘“ want to stay with my friends forever and ever”.
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That’s literally what I said earlier. 
It’s a recurring topic with current!Mitsuba and his relationship with Kou.  Mitsuba feels lonely and… Kou also feels lonely. Even if he has a brother, father and friends (Nene and Hanako and other school friends) Kou is incredibly lonely because of his inferiority complex. He desperately needed to be needed, needed to be special to someone, needed to be important to someone, and that person was Mitsuba. Right now, he is the most important person to Mitsuba and that's both good and very bad for Kou. Good because he finally feels like someone important and someones one and only, but bad because of how traumatic his relationship with Mitsuba is to him and how unhealthy it is. And by it I don’t mean  they’re toxic or bad people - they are kids who want to be loved and who want to have their place in the world. But Mitsuba is a monster, he is a supernatural, whos life is stained away by his instinct, who needs to eat other monsters and who does not really… have any actual bright future and Kou is traumatized boy with low self estem, problems with his selfworth, with martyr complex and some sort of suicidal tendencies. They have a lot to work out.
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Kou is going to be a supernatural / is going to try to be a supernatural / is going to be forced to be supernatural - hint number one. 
Yes, I will go back to this topic, because I’m literally scared of it so much. It's prominent during the whole story that Kou is foreshadowed to have a plotline related to becoming supernatural in some way. And when this topic is touched it's usually related to his plotline with Mitsuba. I’m kind of scared of HOW it’s going to happen or if it’s going to be only a try or Kou really will become supernatural in some way. But it's too much of a recurring topic of Kous WHOLE character arc to not being important and to not happen. It's even hard to call it foreshadowing, its literal hints everywhere. 
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Kou spent with Mitsuba literally… one day, outside of being in the same class for a while (Kou didn’t even remember this time THAT much, time they spend together this day was more important) and yet he CLINGED SO HARD to the idea that Mitsuba is his “friend”. He desperately needed to be wanted, needed, to have a special bond, to being able to help, to save someone. And yet he lost Mitsuba at this moment, he couldn't do shit to save him, he was absolutely… just useless during a fight. It affected him a lot. 
During the scene when Hanako “kills” Mitsuba, there are sakura petals. They’re heavily associate with Mitsuba and are one of his symbols:
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This scene, narratively was a scene that said to us he is GONE. For good. It was a “goodbye” for him and Kou, he is dead. That's all. At this point we couldn't know we are going to meet current!Mitsuba, so we could thing that is the end of Mitsuba and the beginning of a Kous arc. And… it was both of these things but in the whole DIFFERENT meaning. Of course it was goodbye to the Sousuke, he is dead, he can’t come back. Of course it was a beginning for Kous development. But… it was also a beginning for our current!Mitsuba, for slowly progressing Kous insanity as an effect of his trauma and the beginning for Mitsuba and Kous actual arc and relationship. We thought it was the end but it was actually the beginning that changed… the whole Kou, to be honest.
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I think it's related not only to Mitsuba but to Hanako, too. Imagine what Hanako could feel at that moment. He is a ghost and a supernatural who know how doomed he is and he only protects school and Nene. But Kou said it's bullshit and clearly believes in what he says. Sadly, Hanako is so stubborn.
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One of the symbols related to Kou is a lion. Lions may symbolize a lot of things, like strength, courage but also - protection. Just like Kou tries to protect everyone and tries to be strong and courageous for others. I actually think it suits him quite well. Lions also symbolize the sun and it was shown a few times that Kou is like a sun to Mitsuba.
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At some point of a story he is definitely going to do some crazy shit I’m telling you. He really tries to believe that he can find a way to change how the world works and it can end up good but.. it can also end up INCREDIBLY BAD. It’s not that good to mess up with life and death and when you cross up a border there is no coming back. With every arc the manga is becoming a little bit more dark and serious with topic it shows and och boy I’m kind of scared for Kou and Mitsuba.
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You can literally hear me crying. It was probably the first moment in the manga that actually had any impact on me, I was really like… I had to stand and walk for a bit before reading. Kou sees a photo of himself and remembers Sousuke saying “Who knows? Maybe something important to me?” and starting crying was like. I wanted to cry too. I can’t even imagine what Kou felt at this moment, it was probably absolutely heartbreaking. 
This small arc finished with chapter 20.During the next arc, Kou, already  affected by Mitsubas death, gets to know that Nene also has a shortened lifespan and it's going to die very shortly. That wasn’t too good for his mental state and he literally fixated on a goal in saving her. When Kou learned about Nene’s situation, Hanako even related it to Mitsubas situation, so we can clearly understand these two examples are related to Kou. He doesn’t want this situation to happen again.
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“Just like with this boy, there is nothing you can do” - Hanako you little shit
But yeah. Again Kou understands how useless he is. How weak he is, how he can’t save anyone the way he is. How he could do nothing about Mitsubas situation and how he can’t do nothing about Nene’s situation. That's tragic. And it's clear Kou doesn’t know what to do about it. Thats why, when current!Mitsuba appeared, he started to find such a ridiculous (and unhealthy) solutions to Mitsubas (and Kous) problems. He don't know what to do but desperately needs to do… something. Anything. To help, to be important. 
It's sad. He said he dont know what he is gonna do, but HE WILL DO SOMETHING. And yet… we know how it all goes for him. He is a brave kid, who is determined and wants others to be happy and alive. 
He even tried to stop a kiss between Hanako and Nene after reading Nenes book and failed. He always fails.
There is also an special page
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It is titled “Love stories” that should be about Mitsuba. And it contains both Mitsuba and Kou. It's just a joke, but I need to point out that Mitsuba generally wasn’t shown to be interested in any girl during the progression of the story or never talked about it in general. He also does not crush on Nene, even when both Hanako and Kou felt something toward her at some point in the story.He also talks about how cute he is A LOT and I’m going to say something about it someday, but not now.
I think it's enough for part 1! I think I covered everything I wanted for their first meeting. Let's see at Mitsubas resurrection in the Hell of Mirrors!
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headless-robot · 17 days ago
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7-36 Abnormality Boss Guide & Tips
Hello again, I am doing a second run through of the last dungeon of canto 7 and will be recording my thoughts, tips, and making a little guide for the boss fights. Hopefully if you're having trouble with any of these, I hope this Unsolicited advice can maybe help you.
the two abno fights this dungeon were relatively easy compared to the Last Boss (which I Will try to write a guide on) leaving me with less to comment on them mechanically sadly. So I've decided to put them both into one post.
Lets Start with Hurting Teddy
"Expression of love" is the main Gimmick skill of the fight, and is pretty easy to deal with. when a sinner with more negative effects then the Teddy's "Faint Memories" stacks clash, they will use "A Sad Embrace" next turn. Just that skill next turn, then gets staggered.
If you want to speed-run the fight, you're going to want to let one of your sinners get stacked with as many status effects they can handle, then clash with this skill. Then you get what equates to two turns of free damage. That, or you can clash with all the other skills over the course of the fight to lower faint memories, which is honestly kinda easier to do.
"Clawing" and "Violent Clawing" are just some filler bread and butter skills. You should be try to be careful about who clashes with these, just so not everyone is stacked with attachment. Although maybe that would be better? When everyone has attachment it uses "And Old, Nostalgic Embrace" and only that skill. Even if it hits everyone it's really not that scary of a skill. If anything it kind of helps since you want some status effects on at least some of your sinners, and it does exactly that inflicting curse(if you don't break the first coin) and nails.
If you don't want it to use the big skill anyway, just let a sinner clash and get hit by it's counter skill. It'll drain the attachment from them and inflict them with curse and stuff.
This has a Event that I don't remember getting the first time, but I'll write down my result. You can either hug the teddy or not. I am not a monster so of course I give it free hugs, succeeding the lust check will heal your sinner's sanity by 30 and inflicts teddy with 1 perma clash power down.
the passive for it is written wrong I think, but when it hits the 30% HP threshold it will Both inflict all sinners with attachment, AND get 15 offense down. Don't know why it's written how it is right now. Probably to be left for a future bug fix down the road.
It has a passive that lowers it's own base power when your sinner is inflicted with 3 negative effects, stacking up to 3 times. It's called Please don't be sick. that is sad and adorable.
And that's the most I can think I can scrounge up on Hurting teddy. I like reading people's analysis and stuff on characters and abno's, but I'm not a huge Character analytic my self. I'm better with looking at mechanics. So going round a second time against teddy, I confirmed it's probably the easiest boss in the dungeon so far. But I do like how the mechanics try to show the Teddies personality that some people have pointed out. Despite the fact the bear "plays rough", it's not completely malicious. If a sinner too "hurt" with status effects, It tries to comfort them and wait's for them to heal before "playing again". very cute, but again, very easy boss fight.
Next up is The Rose Hunter
TBH I kinda F-ed up on my second go with this guy cause I also felt he was as easy as teddy, thinking "I won't even need to use ego with this guy, I'll just save all my resources for the final dungeon boss".
I made the fatal mistake of not accounting for unbreakable coins staggering a sinner before they could clash with one of his AOEs. I still beat him relatively easily, but uh, you should use ego here if you can.
Ok, so the Main Gimmick of this fight is one of your sinners getting "Lassoed" every turn. "Snaring Lasso" will inflict it's target with "Barbed Lasso" at the start of combat. This is kinda like those captured states some previous boss's had, but they can still act freely. They're just paired with a minion that will fix their speed to one as long as they're lassoed.
These minions do not have a lot of health, so the sinner lassoed can easily free themselves with almost any skill really. If you have more then once sinner lassoed, just make sure they're clashing with the lasso targeting them. Free them as soon as you can.
The most dangerous part of this fight is definitely the rupture it inflicts, and the free rupture your sinners are inflicted with in the dungeon event before the fight.
As mentioned this boss has skills with unbreakable coins, and a coin hitting will still trigger the rupture on your sinners. So as I will keep repeating (more for myself by this point), Watch your sinner's health bars and stagger points. If someone is about to be staggered, make sure they aren't clashing a big AOE skill.
Sadly, unlike the bleed effect stuff from the 7-34 fight, I can't really say there's a consistent way to lose your rupture count. "Spiked Whip" only inflicts potency, so if a sinner is gonna lose a clash, better to lose to that probably. "Whip Crack" isn't something you want to get hit with since it just refreshes and keeps your rupture count and potency up.
"Strangling crown of thorns" is also something you don't really want to get hit with since it deals sanity damage against your sinners (unless yknow, your running NClair or UmbrellaHeath) it's also harder to clash against if you took the Hemobar from the previous dungeon event, so don't take it unless you're using the new bloodfiend IDs and/or have ego to heal your sanity every fight. (I did take it with out using my sanity healing ego and that I think is what led to my big F up.)
"Withdraw Whip" and "Barbed Lasso" are it's two AOE skills with the unbreakable coins to look out for. W-Whip isn't a strong skill and can be dealt with any skill2/3, but if you're really scared of AOE damage you can use Ego.
It's better to use Ego on the B-Lasso. since it will inflict Rupture potency and count no matter what, it'll technically get stronger each use since it's coin power scales with its target's rupture potency. BTDubs, it was the unbreakable coin on B-lasso that staggered my sinner before they could clash W-Whip which then proceeded to kill 2 sinners. Remember, Check those Stagger Thresholds!
And that's about all I got on the Rose Hunter. Compared to Hurting Teddy, which felt like it was trying to use it's mechanics to get across it's "Character" and "Story", Rose Hunters Mechanics were trying to express "He's a dude on a horse, and he has a whip". The whip captures sinners, it slows sinners, it's kink-I mean spiky, so it inflicts pointy status effects and inflicts SP damage. The MD event included an apple the Rose Hunter was chasing, and I remember seeing people interpret how the Hunter was trying to make the apple follow the flow of the story. How that was representative the sinners following the flow of their story and what others expect of them, whether they have a say in the matter or not (Faust and Hong Lu being extra obvious, since they got the Ego). I guess you could say in this fight, you take the place of the apple, trying to fight the fate the Hunter and those at home have for you. Despite that it's still a pretty simple and straight forward fight.
Annnd there's no Camilla fight sooooo we wait till RR5 for that I guess, probably. maybe.
I don't mind the abnormality fights this dungeon being relatively easy, since it is story content and we want players unlucky with gacha or time to experience the story. they'll be harder in RR probably, though mostly cause they'll be higher level probably. Whats important is if they have interesting mechanics that gets across their "Character" and their "Central Gimmick". As I said i think Teddy gets across its kinda tragic character of a lonely toy that wants to play, but only knows how to play rough. The rose hunter just being a dude with a whip is a little uninspired I guess, but they do try their best to go "What can a boss with a Whip do to impose a challenge to the player".
I hope this post was enjoyable to read through and helped you in the fight at least somewhat. I hope to be back later and bring more Unsolicited advice to those who wish it be, if it were the flow of my story.
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thelikesoffinn · 6 months ago
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This is for the lovely @will-graham-my-beloved who asked some follow-up questions in the tags of my big analysis - hi there darling!
First of: I do believe that Astarion spent a long time believing that he wanted to ascend. He's pretty much been talking about it since learning about the scars on his back and it was made quite clear that he was more than interested in it.
Even upon learning the sacrifice he would have to make he isn't backing down and that's for one simple reason - nobody would hesitate if roles were reversed. The world was never kind to or considerate for him so why the ever loving fuck would he waste any sympathy on others? Even the siblings that know his suffering better than anyone?
No, the world belongs to those who take ruthlessly and he shall be one of them.
Then: When you say "the spawn visiting him" I assume you mean the night where Astarions "siblings" attack us at camp to drag his pale arse back to Cazador and how he basically disregards them on terms of gaining the power he so desperately craves.
And Astarion IS desperate.
Not only is this all happening in act three, after Astarion had a good taste of the freedom he could have once Cazador is dead, no it's also just when the thing that promises safety and strength is just within his reach.
As always, safety is our buzzword here. Because while Astarion is no longer caught in his initial fight or flight mode, he is still fragile and undoubtedly scared.
You don't just shake off abuse and trauma in a few weeks, so ascension is still so, so enticing because it will make him strong and once he is, he won't have to fear anyone ever again - not even the sun!
Sacrificing his siblings - whom he may or may not have any affection for - is pretty much a small price to pay.
(It is obviously not, since I foggily remember that he feels the need to rationalise his future deed by mentioning how his siblings have done terrible things and how they pretty much deserve to die for something good, while continously and passionately making excuses for his own behaviour on account of not being able to resist Cazador, but what else is new at this point. The boy may as well change his name to Minimise or Rationalise, with how skilled he talks down even the most horrifying deed as long as it offers him safety!)
And, on top of that, there's another motivating factor on why ascension sounds so good right then - revenge.
Astarion is desperate for revenge - in fact, I say he feels rather entitled to it - and he himself mentions that killing Cazador can never be enough. He wants to rip his life's work away from him and take it for himself to kick the leech while he's down.
So I'd say his willingness to literally murder the other spawn absolutely stems from a combination of fear, longing for safety and power - for both himself and Tav - and intense thirst for revenge.
His need to rationalise and/or minimise what he's about to do sheds some light onto the underlying hesitancy he likely feels, though.
Someone who is 100% convinced that they're doing the right thing doesn't feel the need to explain themselves or to make excuses as for why the thing they're doing is actually the best thing ever. They know they're right and they know everybody else can see that at a first glance because it should be obvious.
And I'm very sure that Astarion knows his plan is pretty much none of that even without Tav's input.
He knows it's the wrong thing to do, and he likely has an inkling that he isn't being smart, but he doesn't want to think about that. He's just so battered and bruised at this point that rationality is overshadowed by rage, desperation and fear which, in turn, convince him thar ascension is the only way to finally live the life he so desperately desires.
I hope that was what you wanted me to consider! If not, I ask for your leniency - it's super late and I'm on my third day insomnia streak haha - and that you just hit me up real quick so that I can try again!
Now, please have a lovely day, duck!
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thehopelessexception · 8 months ago
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how can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22 (almost 24)
warning: im writing this while im on my period and eating ice cream.
i've been dissociating for what now? half a year maybe more. i dont recognize reality. i feel im floating in this sea we call society and i've been feeling the wilson of the story here. i assume everything that's happening around me is real, ofc. but that doesnt make it any less a convenient arrangement i build for myself to try to act like a real person and not freak out. i am feeling out of reality. like the part of the game where you let the sim on auto-mode. i am the sim on auto-mode. and i don't know how to stop this stage of oblivion.
to make a vague introduction, the thing with me is that im a living paradox of a full time contradiction. i am flamboyant but i hate being perceived. i like to speak up for myself but i hate people thinking about me because of it. i have my own process of how i understand things. i trust logic and i question everything. im quite skeptical over things when there's no empirical evidence. i seek for knowledge. critical thinking, data analysis and the whole stuff. i know myself. i sometimes look like i am too obnoxious, frivolous, morally corrupted (people have told me that), when i obsess over something —because i sometimes treat people like they are stupid (not my intention really)—; but probably the only thing im completely sure of is myself. i tend to be a confident person, to have an ego, to not let the guard down, to calculate every single move. and lately i am noticing myself being impulsive, insecure, nervous, weird, saying stupid shit, nonsenses, feeling small. and i don't know how to make it stop. the thing is i put my whole self-esteem backed up by my intelligence, however im not sure of anything anymore. i don't know if the reason behind not recognising myself lately is the fact i have somehow a new crush —or a new hyperfixation for that matter— or just the natural act of growing, also known as the quarter life crisis.
i have this thing where i hyperfix on random stuff, i've been like this my whole life. one of my friends even made a powerpoint of all the things i've been obsessed with over the years. and the issue here is that this things never last that much, or maybe they do? i actually never though about it. the most random ones i remember are probably me buying ice-cream cakes of this specific brand every week for two months. i also got obsessed with eating too many scrambled eggs all day every day for a very long time. then it was that turkish telenovela on an airing channel. then ofc succession, and it grew into watching every single movie kieran culkin was part of. the world cup. mbti —im intj by the way—. red white and royal blue (i watched it five times in a day), then nicholas galitzine —did yk he has a lineage that comes all the way from the romanovs?— and his entire filmography. and also politics, i got way into politics; election campaigns, follow up candidates, history, economy, the law, etc (my candidate lost tho) (we're succumbing to disgrace) (like literally we collectively, as a country, haven't had any kind of good news since then) (please help me). and etc etc. but the thing is, i also hyperfix on random people, or not so random i guess. it doesnt happen very often tho, im quite picky, but the procedure is this: i meet someone, they draw somehow my attention, i want to know everything about this person, i talk to this person a lot (medium to long term) (week to months), and then this person becomes my friend or i get bored and completely ignore them for the rest of my life and move on.
but this time is different, or im feeling it different. i find myself questioning everything i know and i was convinced of. i dont know if it has something to do with the fact that i met someone, probably the first person wise enough to make me question if i was ever correct about anything. maybe i am hyperfixating on this person, idealizing them. but it's truly amazing how much more data this person has about everything i know of. and right now i feel way too insecure, because even if this person told me they find me smart and they enjoy talking to me, i am always thinking that if i say something not completely fact-checked they'll think im stupid. it's absurd. it's a boohoo situation, i know. and it's a process im having about who am i, or what am i supposed to be. some months ago the whole context around my life changed or i think it changed? i dont know how to explain it, —i mean i know how but i would have to talk about other things not related to this (politics stuff, things happening in my country, etc). i'll probably will make a new post about it someday—. but the whole issue is, i dont know myself anymore. and everything is crumbling.
im afraid the person i build for myself it's a fraud. or doesnt exist anymore.
i remember myself at 18, and i was this marvellous whole person. independent, smart, focused, driven. that girl spent their whole days outside her house. did everything she wanted to. wasnt scared of anything. and i look at myself now and think how? the pandemic has a lot to do with it i guess, but when i first heard taylor saying that in nothing new i thought "that wont happen to me". guess what, i was wrong.
for my fellow girlies being 23 —in my experience— is exactly how they say it will be. the worst age of your life.
next month is my birthday and im pushing 24. and i have to say my life is a mess. but i dont know if i can call it a mess because it is truly a mess or because i am a complete drama queen. because people probably have worse problems than mine, and i am what you call a white girl, only poorer —and a third world country citizen—. the issue is, i am almost 24, almost 25. almost 27. ALMOST 30. and i did nothing with my life. absolutely nothing. my mom had me at 29 for god's sake.
and by nothing i mean everything i do is not enough to feel it worthy of a life well-lived. should i look for a job and work while studying just to say i am extremely occupied because i have somehow a life? just to feel something? even if that makes my stress situation and anxiety even worse? should i somehow save enough money so i can move from my parents house? even if for my whole generation it's close to impossible? is studying something i (kinda) like enough to not feel like shit about myself? i've never had a boyfriend, nor girlfriend. shoud i look for one? get myself one? even if i dont think any of that would make me happy? i dont think i know happiness as a state of mind, nor the concept of it.
i dont feel like i have many anecdotes to tell in my future. should i measure the life-worth by anecdotes? my friends feel the same way i do, but they have a more organized life. jobs, boyfriends, careers, plans for the future, one of my closest friends move to the other side of the world with her boyfriend (!) in the blink of an eye. but they aren't much happy nor they have many anecdotes either. and i dont have the money or the guts or the available friends to create any.
every day i understand fleabag a bit more.
my favourite anecdotes about my life are from when i was about 13 and 15 years, also known as the worst time of my life. i didnt appreciated it back then, probably none of us did. but when we were teens everything was possible and we didnt have a care on anything other than mundane stuff or rebellious stuff but nothing more than yelling at people, drinking and smoking weird shit (i never had weed tho). not a real responsibility. being careless, free, avoiding consequences that mattered. i think that girl hates me right now. and i am not sure if that's the feeling i should have or if it's just utterly pathetic.
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annbourbon · 11 months ago
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🖤 ✨ 🖤 ✨ Rika ✨ 🖤 ✨ 🖤
Let's start with Rika...
⚠️possible spoilers ahead, be warned⚠️
I can't believe I actually didn't realize that. I mean, I did it. Like 7 years ago, but I had no clue on how to explain it.
Besides it needs from Mystic Messenger Timeline *which I'm still working on, and trying to finish* to actually make sense.
Disclaimer: Please take into account that whatever I say here, it's only my opinion after playing the game so many years. I'm not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, or therapist of any kind. I'm just a writer, who loves to spend time analysing characters and stories.
I did asked to my mom to help me with this and the other characters because of how difficult the task ahead of me was. My mom, who is an actual therapist, did her best to help me, but I did most of the analysis here, since I'm the one who knows the in's and outs of this game. Besides, I did my research and I'll make sure to quote it! So give it a chance and keep reading even if you disagree with me. And then, I'd love to read your thoughts on the topic 💕
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Narcissus. Also known as daffodil.
Should I talk to you about the dark side of the flowers and tie it to MM characters?? Anyways, Rika is a narcissistic. But also has a profound trauma. One doesn't exclude the other. Here's a quote from Mayo Clinic:
«Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.»
Causes: The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:
Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements.
There are other two, that are genetic, and neurobiology causes, but I'll be focusing more on the environment, which let's be honest, it's what is displayed on the game. If you're interested on reading more about it, there's a link before the quote and, on References, I'll also be leaving every single link.
So let's go back to Rika and please read the next three images while remembering how's her relationship with V, and Saeran. Sometimes even with MC, and Mika.
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As you can see...
Attention:
* Creates the RFA. Receives attention.
* Creates Mint Eye. Receives attention.
* Says V is her Sun.
* As soon as she gets tired, says V's killing her and wants to leave
* Wants to mix RFA and Mint Eye. I assume is because despite everything, she feels like she's losing attention on everything she created. And MC is the reason of that too.
They don't choose losers:
V is a millionaire
Jumin is a millionaire
Zen is super sexy and hot
Jaehee and the twins are really smart
Do I need to keep going? Even Elizabeth the 3rd is one of the most beautiful cats ever seen.
Grooming:
Here's the part that keeps bothering me because I realized about it before I could actually explain what it was going on. Seven years ago I decided to play the game, and I finished feeling a bit too weird on how everyone was so infatuated with Rika... it wasn't any other person that just dies and then the group dies too. It was still active two years after losing her (?) Even though they have only know each other for... 4 to 6 years?
Some even less. Like Jaehee. Which randomly brings me to: She's an ENFJ so she does focus on details like Jaehee (Jaehee might be ISFJ, ISTJ or even ESFJ considering how well she manages around people too. But that's another story.) Her enneagram is probably 1.
I can understand Yoosung, but... you know what I mean. It was weird. And once I reached the first VN novel about V and Rika I felt even more weirded out by these two.
I don't think I can pinpoint it but I felt like Rika was manipulating V so I was surprised when I realized some members were tying these two as lovers and a beautiful couple. Do you guys remember V being surprised by Rika quoting "The Sun is the mother of all"?? Yeah... Even back then, for me it was a highlight of how messed up their relationship was. But again, I couldn't exactly pinpoint it. Until, now.
After Cheritz released Another Story, and Rika DLC, many of my theories came true. But still in a disorganized way. Which is why I created The Mystic Messenger Timeline.
I did confirmed one thing:
Rika is a narcissist and V is a people pleaser (that doesn't make him any less villainous of what he is, but I'll explain once we'll reach his profile. I promise.) at least at the very beginning of this story.
She probably has psychopatic tendencies
She definitely has sadistic and abusive tendencies: I have a hard time putting through her whole behavior during Saeran's Route and especially during his AE. But she takes pleasure in hurting others. V, Saeran, MC, Mint Eye associates, etc.
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A bit of One on the Enneagram:
It is called The Reformer.
Because Ones have a “sense of mission” that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity—particularly moral adversity—so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after “higher values,” even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.
If you think I'm too far off, then please check the levels of healthy and unhealthy Ones can have. They sure ring a bit too much for me on Rika's behavior. From Level 1 to 9, we can see her evolution during the game. But here you have a couple of her worse traits.
Unhealthy Levels
Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.
Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrongdoing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.
Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of wrongdoers. Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders
If you want to know more about this, check this.
So, why do you (player) like Rika as character?
Because it's okay, I know people who actually like Rika. I don't, but I definitely don't hate her either...
You don't need to be worried about it as long as you know what she did was wrong. That's it. Now, why do you like her/identify with her?
Things that might, or not, ring a bell:
* Trauma: Rika has a traumatic past. And you might feel like it's a mirror of your past. Hence identifying with it might not be something difficult. Of course this doesn't mean you are leader of some religious cult.
* Her willingness to fight despite having everything at odds. Let's not forget that before she goes nuts and starts brainwashing people, she did a lot of great deeds. Tried to stay positive and all that.
* Her kindness (we can discuss over certain things, but as much as she did terrible things, she also did amazing things, like creating the RFA to help people. Wether she did it with a certain master plan in mind or not, she did helped as much as she hurt and that's the important part.)
* She's just a great villain! It might be hard to understand for some people but you actually just look at her character as what it is, a character, and you're impressed by how many discussions and hot debates she brings onto the table. Understandable!
* Her flower means forgiveness♡
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Do you have any other ideas for why you might like Rika? I'd be happy to read them. 💕
Also, this might be one of my last post about her. Might not be the last but I do need to finish with the Mystic Messenger Timeline, and I will but I don't think I have a lot more material to write about. So thank you for sticking with me all this time! I'm linking the main post on MysMe theories I have, I still need to finish tying up all nicely. But we're coming to the end. I'm definitely talking about trauma, coping mechanisms, parenthood, childhood and societal pressures but it'll be in other posts, possibly not even linking them to this one. Who knows? Stay tuned~!
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References:
Mayo Clinic - Narcissistic Disorder Personality
Between Narcissistic & People pleaser
Medium - Beware a narcissist with a hero complex
Paired Life - Hero & Narcissist
Enneagram Institute - One
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