#i am still bad at taking pictures I'm sorry hahaha

[exotic-dinostuff]

I need to learn how to take pictures bro, I didn't like the last post that I made of this drawing, I think day night about this thing, I'm doing this like a normal person and reposting it so y'all can actually see

Either Tumblr loves fricking with my pictures or I'm terrible at photography

[tonydaddingham]

✨ episode 4 - running commentary✨

- I'm not ready for this no no no no no DEEP BREATH ok let's go

- I will just say actually that ep3 has turned it around for me, like 100% and it is SO MUCH BETTER on tv than on the bigger screen, the screenings were fun but a Mistake

- anyWAY

- LESI???

- ok literally a hitchhiker lmao @theeminentlyimpractical wins this round HAHAH JTS SHAX JAHAHA mood swing

- oh my god i want them to be friends in an AU fuCK SHE WORKED IT OUT AZIRAPHALE LMAO

- BAD SHAX HE IS ✨EXACTLY✨ HIS TYPE fucking BEAT HER ASS AZZY

- lmao aziraphale???? YOU SLY DOG????

- this has to be a fuck moment right aziraphale? az?? CMON SWEAR YOU DUMBASS BITCH

- honestly aziraphale if it turns out furfur is an ex we need to have cocktails bbygirl tell me EVERYTHING YOU DIRTY HOE

- 40S MINISODE ARGHJ🚨🚨🚨🚨

- lmao walking dead au when, they really did end up down there huh I mean foregone conclusion but this gives me LIFE

- idc about hell I need the BOYS I need the dinner of motherfucking 41

- all the Nazis lmao get shredded bitches

- furfur lol this is doomed to failure

- DAVID TENNANT ON FIRE FUCK YES

- aziraphale stop trying to offer him a handy I'm sorry but you need to TONE IT DOWN you nearly got blown up NOW IS NOT THE TIME offer him a blowy LATER

- no I'm sorry but Mrs h???? FUCKING GET THEM GIRL THEYRE MY BABIES BUT INEPT AF

- THE SHOT THE CROWLEY PICTURE FUCK

- this is so much better than I could have ever predicted NEIL YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARd

- AHHHHHH AM I ABOUT TO BE RIGHT ABOUT THE 40S MINSODE DID I PREDICT THS???? DO THEY KISS????💓✨ IS THERE A 🚨MOMENT🚨

- also lmao the dinner is after the show??? idk let's see

- IM SWEATIN SO HARD THIS KS SO GOOd

- fucking HOWLING at the Nazi trio hahaha Steve pemberton is *the* moment lmaooooo

- OOP NO DINNER DINNER NOW??? Also lmao 'friends' I bet that BURNED Michael's mouth to FUCK

- crowley's face I'm DYING aziraphale you're so SILLY

- fuck me im so whipped for 40s Crowley and his lil jazzy wazzy hands

- THE WAY HE FLIRTS FUCK OFF GO AWAY CROWLEY stop buttering him up HES ABOJT TO JUMP YOU BUD

- ahhh magic shop!!!!!✨✨✨

- I know we said that aziraphale has the patience of a saint but I take it back Crowley is still an angel I'm convinced of it

- aziraphale literally has no self preservation I love him

- "leave the miracles to us" snarky ass bitch

- AHHHH HE TRUSTS CROWLEY FUCK YES the way he grabs his MF HAND no I'm done now

- DID I CALL CROWLEY BEING A VOLUNTEER IN A FUCKINF SHITPOST my GOD

- aziraphale you are a disaster

- I FUCKING CALLED IT HAHAHA this is my win ill tAKE IT CROWLEY CALLED AS A VOLUNTEER HAHAHA

- oh my god someone drag him off stage pLEASE

- GRITTED TEETH "NEITHER ARE MINE HEHE" hahahaha

- HE LITERALLY HAS TO TRUST CROWLEY UGH THIS IS 4AM GIRL DINNER ✨💓

- Cmon Crowley you can do it bbygirl💓💓💓💓

- HE DID IT

- here we GO THE DRESSING ROOM SCENE YES

- no fuck off furfur they need to snog go away OH MY GOD THEY KNEW EACH OTHER, jealous AZIRAPHALE?????

- "AZIRA-FALALALALA"

- oh I'm living for the zombies I love them

- lmao that photo hahahaha

- FUCK AZIRAPHALE YOU ARe so goOD AT MAGIC AND SLEIGHT OF HAND IM SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU you saved yourselves YES

- DINNER DINNER DINNER

- NOW KISS

- NOW

- "retire the act"

- OH MT FOD THIS IS SO SOFT??????? FUCKINF HELL

- BLUR THE MF EDGES

- THE WIIIIIIINE

- wait no come back u need to kiss now no

- fucking cockblocked by a scene change fuCK

- NO SHAX YOU BITCH NO LEAVE THEM ALONE LEAVE THEM ALOOOOOONNEEEEEE

- PLEASE

- yes beelzebub NO BEELZEBUB lol another mood swing

- annnnnd he's back home💓💓💓

- I KNEW AZIRAPHALE WAS BENTLEY'S FAVE get shitted on crowley

- he's MOVING BACK IN???? INTK RHE BENTLEY???? CROWLEY TOU ARE SO STUPID BABES

- "a night to REMEMBER" lmao it BETTER BE

Oh no it's the ball episode next I BETTER GET THAT KISS but also an explanation for "u go too fast for me Crowley" bc that did NOT explain it

[blackstarchanx3new]

Sorry for spamming your notifs I was just wondering if you have any lineart/ coloring tips!

Im trying to improve my art and your style is perfect!!!

A joy you'd ask such an extensive question: I recorded a quick timelapse (Sorry I don't control the speed on Clip Studio)

I draw with vector layers for line art, meaning I can erase overlapping lines SUPER easy with a Vector eraser:

To make them not highlighted in orange btw (For CSP specifically) I believe you gotta go into "View" and "turn off vector paths".

I usually have a layer behind the characters that is "Grey" so I know where I've colored until I change it to black with protect Alpha.

In GENREAL advice I'd give: Do "Figure drawings" I think they're called. VERY QUICK rough sketches to get a figure/pose down. I draw like a speed demon because I don't focus on "Getting lines perfect" either. Paper is a less forgiving medium, when I was a kid (And even now) i sketch on paper with Pen. NO MISTAKES. WE DIE LIKE MEN. It makes you think a lot more about "How am I gonna do this right the first time" Basically: Your boy is quick, he likes to do it in 1 go and art style is pretty simple. Affective for making comics FAST. Which is what I care about since my stories/dialogue are kinda the highlight not the pictures, they just take my stuff to THE NEXT LEVEL. :)

Lately I've been trying to "Care less" about getting perfect clean line art (Tbh I think I've always cared a little less because SOME PEOPLE SPEND 8 HOURS ON A DRAWING AND HALF THE TIME THEY SPENT WAS ERASING SHIT. I COULD NOT. O.O)

The need for speed is because I need to make so many pages for all my comics in a timely manor.

Looking at AOT's butt ugly art and Chainsaw man's beautiful scratchy lines made me realize I was being way to uptight about my own shit looking "Perfect". So I've tried to be more fluid with it.

Speaking of: I recommend anyone who likes manga to try to mimic some art styles to learn stuff. "Why'd they do xy or z" "How'd they achieve x" ya know? Here's two of my avatars from my zelda videos (OOT is still in progress)

But it also depends on what you're TRYING to go for:

I don't WANT/NEED a consistent art style. I mostly just do whatever I feel fits whatever I'm working on. "On model" isn't in my vocabulary. X'D

I recommend studying anatomy because it REALLY amped up my abilities to draw the human body better. Full figure drawings, don't run away from things you might be bad at. X'D (Or work with what you do, I am shit at drawing hands, so they'll turn into weird monstrosities but nobody's said anything yet! XD)

People are seemingly willing to forgive a lot of mistakes: If it's funny. X'D I gotta try harder in serious scenes hahaha. Also having weird as fuck/abstract character design like my boys Ball and Bat

You're not gonna question anatomy choices for a thing that looks like THAT.

Simple character design is my passion~

For coloring: Outside of me understanding basic color theory I just do what makes my brain go BRRR so I can't really DESCRIBE why I like what I like? X'D

But here's some of my color palettes! I implore anyone to use them if they like them. They're not some trade secret, they're just colors.

Anyways that's all I got hope it helps. XD

[harleenfleck]

"5 years later" A letter for Artie

This is a kind of fanfiction/selfshipping. It'll be soooo cringely, yes is a warning haha, just wondering how is that Arthur comes back to my life after those long five years without him.

So, I hope you like it, oh my god, will be so cringely but i don't care hahaha! Based on a lot of Taylor Swift music, to be specific, "the 1", "right were you left me" and "daylight" Hope you like it! Again, sorry for the grammatical and language mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.

Hope you like it!

...

Hey. Hello?

Arthur? Arthur Fleck? Is that you?

It's me, hi. It's a very bad, really bad way to say "hello" as nothing after 5 years later, don't you think so?

It's hard to explain what is in my head now, in my heart and even in my lungs. I wanted to ask what happened to those years. How have you been? I hope better than the last time we saw each other. Something inside me wants to beliv you're better now, I want to belive it, help me to belive in it.

You're still in the same old city? I am right in my own old and sad town. A lot of friends of mine aren't my friends now. That narcisist guy who you hated to death is ruinning the life of another girl, hope she's okay and she'll be okay. I'm still in the same job I hate, but I try to make it better.

Speaking about it, do you remember the social worker who don't help you? I think what would happen if she could help you since the first moment... And you know what? Today I'm studying to be a Social Worker too. Everybody thinks was to get a better job and it's true in a strange way. But the real reason was you... I'm studying that career because I want to help, that help was deny to you, to help others like you.

I try to found relief and cure in music as you, I found a blonde and beautiful woman who writes songs of love, pain, girlhood, anxiety, sadness, freedom and poetry. I've heard her songs and I even go to her concert, was one of the best nights in my life.

And you know something funny? When you come back, all her songs about love started to come to life and make sense to me.

Do you remember "California"? That song we listened for hours and hours in midnights? You finally come back, and I want to take you yo California, forever.

It's kind of funny you back after I go on with my life, I have new friends, some of my old friends, a new partner who help me as you did it in the past. He treats me so well, so tender and gives me peace, sometimes I think both of you have the same soul.

I see you found love for your way, she's the character I've played for months and wanted to be, to convert myself to her. She looks like so interested on you, and I hope she treats you and loves you as I do. I hope you have her picture in your journal, I hope you dance with her with emotion and hold her hand with passion, I hope she laughs with your jokes as I did, I hope she helps you as I try to do in the past.

I never thought you'll come back again to my life, you were in my mind, my daydreams and my lungs after you showed in my eyes again. It's funny that I use "lungs" and not "heart", but since you come back, your name is in my breathing. Heart has envy to lungs now.

There's a lyric in a song who makes me think about you since I've heard it, "In a world of boys, he's a gentleman". Be a gentleman with her as you was with me before.

I think I'll bought a chain with your initial, and I'll use it for the rest of the year until our next date in October. I'll use it and you'll know I'm still owns you and you really knows me. I take this from a song of the blonde singer I've tell you.

I'm starting to think I'll never stop to love you, you show me after the darkest period in my life I can back to love again, to take me to the dark and scary night and bring me to the golden daylight. Maybe you know that I need to be saved again, and you're here to take me to daylight again... Thank you again, Artie...

With love

You know who I am

[blessedwithabadomen]

I AM SO READY FOR ALL 16 THOUSAND WORDS OF THESE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING AMAZING

the idea of a relationship with that distance is literally painful and i'm not even in it

to be fair, I've never had a long flight and I still ALWAYS want to crash as soon as I arrive

the idea of Oli following them on tour 🥹🥹

"What hurt the most was witnessing the final embrace between Noah and Oliver." 😭

not the two of them all cuddled up, that's literally the sweetest picture I can imagine oh my

YES HOLING THEMSELVES UP AND REALLY TALKING, WE STAN A POLY COUPLE THAT COMMUNICATES

okay and the sex obviously lmao, I don't think anyone would manage to be in a house with them long and not take them to bed and uh the sofa and a table and a shower and you get the point

I ALSO WANT TO GO ON A ROAD TRIP TO THE LAKE DISTRICT HELLO

(I love the Jack the Ripper museum it's so tiny and quirky and I'm mad that I missed the free walking tour that was included in the ticket)

I love that she made the luggage Noah's problem while sprinting to hug Oli

"I'm the one that needs to be held" 😭😭

them kissing passionately in public 🥵

I LOVE TINY MOMENT OF SOFT DOMESTICITY and that definitely includes removing someone's shoes for them

soft soft soft I'm soft they're soft ahhh

" and we hadn’t spent not even one night in each other’s arms" oh no 😭😭

fucking hell Noah, don't be like that

I don't think anyone would ever get over seeing Noah like that, no matter how many times they'd had the pleasure oooof

something new?? 👀👀 and what is up with these two lmao what's going onnnnn, they're both horrible liars lmao

I LOVE HORROR MOVIE MEMORABILIA and that they got it for her and aww but also what a bad, bad attempt as distraction hahaha

fucking giggling at the idea of them being so jealous and dramatic about (not) holding hands even though she's clearly preoccupied hahahah I fucking love these little moments, thank you so much for giving all of them space in this story

WHAT ARE THEY HIDIIIIIING

someone take me to that fucking chalet what the actual fuck

mirror 👀👀

" totally unaware that I would be propped there in all fours with no book nearby in less than twenty-four hours." GHSFÖHDÖUHAFJI I love how you just drop these things and catch me off guard because holy shit

Oli playing with Luna in the water is such a dreamy scene I actually can't 😭😭

"My questions about what they were doing went unanswered." GIRL AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW they're honestly such fucking menaces lmao

YES GIRL GIVE THEM A SHOW THEY CAN SUCK IT

"just like the time we attended my brother’s Jack engagement party." YOU NAUGHTY THING I LOVE IT

I love that their brains short-circuited because she started calling the shots

"I may have had only one mouth, but I had two hands." GHSJDLADKJAD

this whole scene is so fucking hot I'm struggling

the difference in how you write Oli and Noah (esp in terms of sex lol) is 10/10 btw, 11/10 actually, any number higher than 10 will do

NOT THEM HOLDING HANDS WHAT THE FUCK I am passing away sorry no more comments

Oli taking care of Noah yes please

LUNA NO HAHAHAH

noooo Noah you gotta get your teeth under control lmao

" “Do you have any idea how fucking good you look when she’s blowing you?”" I don't know how to survive the rest of this epilogue really

" “I never thought I would enjoy the sight of another man burying his dick deep inside of you, but seeing Oli fuck you does things to me.”" WHAT THE FUCK VERONICA YOU CAN'T JUST WRITE THESE KINDA THINGS AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY

all I want is to write sex scenes like you, they're so all-encompassing it's fucking amazing

Oli not being able to stop talking is spot on hahaha

"He had drifted off after a morning session of lovemaking in which Noah had taken me while I slept in his arms and Oliver had taken him—a chain reaction that had us falling one after another like a line of dominoes." ghduhfdsauihfaös the way this might or might not be something in my notes for some part of ilwtm sooner or later ANYWAY, ON WITH THE PROGRAM

and then you hit me with the softness again oof

not Noah still being stumped by british english sometimes hahaha

Noah 😭😭😭 my love

👀👀👀 are we about to find out?? is it a house??

IT IS A HOUSE WHOOP WHOOP

AND ITS THE ONE SHE WANTED BECAUSE THEY LOVE HER

yeah that's definitely not how they were planning to let her know haha

no this is so sweet 🥹🥹🥹

JURASSIC PARK THEMED I'M DYING (I want one too)

😭😭😭 EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO PERFECT AND I'M EMOTIONAL AND I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH IT'S SO NUANCED AND DETAILED AND PERFECT AND I KNOW THERE'S ANOTHER BONUS SCENE COMING BUT THIS IS STILL THE END IN A WAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT I'M SO HAPPY YOU WROTE THIS STORY THE WAY YOU DID 💖💖💖

Title: Into the Abyss of Bad Habits — Epilogue | Words: 16.4k

Author's note: Get yourselves a few cups of coffee ready (or tea, for those who are more into it or have an addiction like myself) because this is super long and it's full of sweetness, fluff, and horny men utterly in love with their girl.

This takes place a year and a half after part 3.

Tags & trigger warnings: polyamorous relationship, three people totally in love with each other that go on a very-much-deserved vacation, a bit of implied angst at the beginning, but mostly kinky men, sexual content including p in v (unprotected), oral (both m. and f. receiving), face-sitting, accidental biting, light choking, implied anal sex, dirty talk, praise kink, (a lot of kinks actually, if you start squinting), and probably another bunch of things that I'm forgetting because this epilogue is really long, so forgive me.

This is dedicated to @blessedwithabadomen because without her, half of this fic would probably not exist. Thank you for your constant support and love on this work, and for helping me sort out the writing for the last parts of this story, and for your reassurance whenever I was drowning in self-doubt 🥹 Also, please, if you haven't, go check out her story: In love with the mess. You will truly not be disappointed, and it's just about to get so so so good! Couldn't feel more blessed and thankful for the effort and dedication she's putting into that work ✨ Thank you, L. 🤍

A year and a half later 

London, United Kingdom

Heathrow Airport was buzzing with activity when our plane touched down from LAX in the late afternoon. 

            Noah and I had purposely booked a night flight to ease our jetlag once we hit the UK. It was one of those rare times we were traveling purely for some well-deserved vacation, a break from the hectic schedules of work and touring with Bad Omens. But despite spending the night in the plane, Noah was desperate to unclip his seat belt, get out of the airport with a strong coffee in hand, get to the hotel, and throw himself on the bed. Trying to catch some sleep on the flight was always a struggle for him with his long frame squished into those tiny seats. And I wasn't exactly well-rested either; but I was too excited to see Oliver.

            Our last time together —the three of us— had been nearly two months back in the US at a festival where Bring Me The Horizon and Bad Omens were playing. Even though we were all committed to the relationship and always managed to make time for each other —traveling back and forth whenever possible—, those chance encounters were always a bonus and we enjoyed them all the same. 

            We were still figuring out how to deal with the distance. BMTH had been around for a while, so Oliver had more freedom to move from one place to another, hence why we had been talking about him moving over to the States. We had, in fact, checked some houses in different neighborhoods a while ago, but we hadn’t decided anything yet, beginning with the fact that we had a budget and the houses we saw exceeded it, especially the one I fell in love with. Moving to the UK ourselves wasn't really on the cards, not with Bad Omens still climbing their way to the top and Noah’s and I’s residence being in the America.

            For the past couple of months, we'd been counting down the days until we could see Oliver again. Noah wasn’t very vocal about it, but he was just as eager as I was. Right now, however, he was probably just thinking about grabbing the hotel room key and crashing out in bed for a solid night's sleep. The streets of London could wait for us until next morning. 

            Despite how good things were now, there had been tough days, of course.

            When the UK NextGen tour ended, Oliver wasted no time in buying a plane ticket to join us for the last week of Bad Omens' tour across Europe. However, once the end approached, the farewell was imminent. Noah and I were eager to return home. He was obviously more exhausted than the rest of us. He lacked hours of sleep, and his body was beginning to feel the strain.

            The farewell was bittersweet. There were tears and hugs that lingered too long. What hurt the most was witnessing the final embrace between Noah and Oliver.

            During the time we spent together in Europe, their relationship had grown significantly. The fact that the three of us were in a polyamorous relationship played a big part, but it also seemed like they had found each other after a long time as friends. On one occasion, during one of Bad Omens' day off in Europe, I found the two of them napping in the hotel room when I had slipped away to the nearest Starbucks for a Caramel Macchiato. The sight of them lost in their dreams, cuddled up next to each other in bed, was so tender that it felt like my heart would burst. I kept a picture of that moment stored safely on my phone. 

            Nevertheless, however peaceful that moment was, there were hard moments that had to happen for us to be where we stood right now. There was jealousy, of course. While I never stopped feeling loved by both of them, even when they had their moments and spent hours away from me, focused on their work and making music together, the feeling wasn't the same for Oliver and Noah. It was inevitable because an ocean separated us, and at some point they started feeling that I spent more time with the other. Their heated argument in Oliver’s house the previous summer had thankfully resolved this issue, regardless of both ending up sleeping on the sofa. The good thing about that week in Sheffield was that the drop that spilled the cup killed two birds in one go, resolving the tension that had been building between Noah and Oliver because they refused to acknowledge that they wanted each other the same way they wanted me. 

The image of both of them angry was not a pretty one. Seeing them unleash those demons on stage could be very fun and exciting, but when it was at home, it wasn't pleasant at all. Luckily, we were in a much better place right now and that was part of the past. After that heated fight that nearly got physical, things got so much better. During that trip, we canceled the plans we had for the few days we had left in Sheffield, and decided to spend them holed up at Oliver's house, focusing on resolving our issues, insecurities, and fears, and making up for the lack of affection from the previous days. The reconciliation was so effusive that every time after discussing doubts and possible conflicts that might arise and the solution to these, we ended up having wild sex, and by the time our time together came to an end, we had blessed every corner and nook of Oliver's house, we had used up three boxes of condoms, and we had left the marks of our hands and knees on glass, furniture, and windows.

            This time, a year later, the plan was to  embark on a road trip to the Lake District, where Oliver had booked a chalet. Sheffield was on the way, so we would make a quick stop to pick up Luna. But first, we were to stay in London for three days. I had booked tickets to the Jack the Ripper Museum and to the Harry Potter studios, and I wanted to get to know the city a bit better, so I had planned a route along the Thames and through Camden Town.  

            The moment I spotted Oliver standing right outside the arrival gates at the airport, his smile widened, mirroring mine. Leaving Noah with the luggage, I hurried over to him, and he caught me in his arms. I wrapped my limbs around him, inhaling his scent, feeling his warmth and every other thing offered by his sole being. 

            “Hi, love,” he greeted. 

            “Hi,” I responded, giving him a gentle kiss. “I missed you.”

            “So have I,” Noah chimed in from behind, his voice sounding a tad annoyed as he maneuvered the trolley laden with our suitcases. “I’m the one that needs to be held, by the way.”

            With a laugh, I disentangled myself from Oliver and watched as he closed the distance to Noah. Their embrace was tight, their kiss passionate, and I couldn’t help but grin at the sight. 

            “Long flight?” Oliver inquired. 

            “Just like every other time, but it’s not the flight that’s the issue,” Noah replied. 

            “It’s the long legs,” I interjected.

            “We’ll book you a masseur once we’re at the hotel,” Oliver suggested, wrapping his arm around Noah’s shoulders. 

            I furrowed my brow at the suggestion.

            “Noah doesn’t need a masseur,” I stated, feeling offended. Stepping back slowly as we started to move towards the exit, I kept my eyes on them. They both seemed to find my reaction amusing, their grins widening. I couldn’t help but soften, a smile betraying my feigned offense. 

            Oliver reached out and tousled my hair, which I didn’t mind. After the long flight, I was already a mess. I sidled up next to him, tilting my head to kiss his jaw as the three of us made our way out of the airport. 

As soon as we stepped into the hotel room in London, Noah dropped his bags and collapsed face-first onto the extra-large bed. Following suit, Oliver removed Noah’s shoes from his feet, which dangled over the edge of the bed. It always struck me how Noah managed to make everything seem small in comparison. 

            Oliver removed Noah’s socks and began massaging his tired feet, paying no mind to the fact that both Noah and I desperately needed a shower. Despite offering to make him coffee or order food, Noah declined, already on the brink of sleep. Before drifting off, however, he mentioned that I must be hungry and suggested Oliver and I go out to eat while he took a nap. 

            With that, Oliver and I left Noah to rest (ensuring to hang the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door) and set out to find a nearby spot for a quick meal. Despite the weariness of our journey, the stroll was a welcome relief for my legs. As we walked, Oliver would occasionally reach out to take my hand, his touch sending a warm flutter through me. He would also point out little details of the cityscape that he knew I would appreciate while filling me up with updates from work and about his family.

            Eventually, we settled for a vegan cheese roll with falafels from a quaint street vendor. As we sat on a bench, heleaned in close, brushing a strand of hair away from my face with gentle fingers. The simple act sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but lean into his touch, feeling the weight of the journey melt away in his presence.

            By the time we finished eating, my head was resting on Oliver's shoulder, and I could feel myself drifting off, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the city. We felt like carefree teenagers who had just escaped from class but weren’t quite ready to head home yet. Despite the usual surge of excitement that swept over me whenever the three of us were reunited in the same city, my body felt drained. No matter how hard I tried to summon energy from within, each bite of food seemed to weigh me down further, and Oliver’s constant attentiveness, his arms wrapping around me at every opportunity, only intensified the sensation. 

            “How is he doing?” He asked suddenly, his fingers trailing gently along the curve of my skull. He was referring to Noah. 

            In an instant, memories flooded back, a torrent of emotions crashing against the walls of my mind. Bad Omens was on a deadline to get their new record ready before summer’s end, and the pressure had ensnared Noah in a relentless grasp. Consumed by his passion, as typical of him, he had neglected his mental health, and us. Noah had moved into my apartment during the summer before, but the moment he started working intensively in new music, he had practically moved back to the confines of the house he shared with Jolly, Jesse, and Orie. What began as weekday absences soon stretched into weekends lost, then an entire month slipped through and we hadn’t spent not even one night in each other’s arms. He was going to the gym and keeping track of his diet, but the problem was that he was not taking a break. Of course, we were having sex, but sometimes it felt devoid of passion, as if it was a job that had to be done and left me adrift in a sea of longing. He had also started to miss Oliver’s calls, especially the ones after I had talked to Oliver myself and I had cried over the phone, asking him to please come to Los Angeles or get me on a flight to England.  

            “Much better,” I murmured, drawing in a breath heavy with the weight of the obstacles we’d had to overcome the previous months. 

            Memories of the night in which I couldn’t hold it any longer flooded my senses. I had been in Noah’s house, waiting for an hour for a date that he had obviously forgotten about. When tears started cascading down my cheeks, Jolly and Jesse intervened and got his ass out of the studio. Noah’s eyes were red and his hair greasy. 

            “I guess seeing me having a breakdown did something to him. He looked shaken. Scared, even. And after that…” I sighed, relieved. “He's trying harder now, focusing on everything else that also matters.” Us. “He talked to his therapist and he’s managing things in a different way. He’s going to be okay. And we’ll be ok, too.”

            Looking into Oliver’s earthy eyes, I could see his relief. He had been absent most of those difficult times, and he’d been worried about Noah and about me, his concern also getting the worst of him at times. At some point he’d been this close to dropping his own job stuff and getting on a plane to come be with me and give Noah a good spanking. Thankfully, it never came to that. Things got better. Now, we were reunited again, the three of us. We were better, trying every day, and supporting each other through our imperfections.  

            As we made our way back to the hotel room an hour later, I stopped at a Starbucks to get a cup of Noah’s favorite coffee. I hadn’t been able to resist a few sips, the familiar taste being a comforting distraction from my fatigue. 

            Noah was awake and fresh from a shower when we entered the room, emerging from the bathroom wrapped in a towel that barely covered him from the waist down, his damp hair clinging to his temples and forehead. Even though I had witnessed this sight countless times before and could conjure it up in my mind whenever I pleased, it never failed to stir something primal within me. 

            “I brought you coffee,” I managed to say, my throat feeling suddenly dry as I handed him the cup. 

            “My angel,” he replied, his lips curling into a grateful smile as he took the Starbucks cup from my hand and brought it to his lips. 

            His gaze shifted to Oliver as he sipped the coffee. Oliver approached him, passing by me with a mischievous half-smile, and ran a finger down Noah’s chest, trailing down to his navel. Before he could say anything, Noah’s free hand shot out, gripping Oliver’s wrist, preventing him from venturing any further. 

            “Let me finish my coffee first,” Noah murmured, his voice low and husky. 

            Oliver responded with a throaty laugh, the sound sending a jolt of anticipation coursing through the room. 

            I couldn’t find rest until nightfall came. Despite my insistence that Noah and Oliver let me catch some much-needed sleep in bed while they entertained themselves on the sofa in the room, they conspired together to convince me otherwise. They argued that it would be better for me to expend the last of my energy and then enjoy a more restful deeper sleep. 

            As if our first night together each time we reunited was ever a night of rest, of course. 

            How naïve I was to entertain such notion, considering that I always allowed them to have their way with me both before and after dinner. 

The first day in London was a whirlwind, leaving Noah and me feeling drained and struggling to regain our footing. The subsequent days, thankfully, unfolded at a gentler pace. We indulged in the luxury of sleeping in and enjoying breakfast in our room, accompanied by tender moments of cuddling, sweet kisses, and the occasional lustful touch. 

            While I briefly talked to my brother on the phone the second morning, Noah took out his MacBook from his bag and started working, which caused Oliver to scold him because we had all agreed that this vacation would be work-free. I couldn't help but shoot Noah a disapproving look, too, which quickly transformed into a gentle shoulder rub and a heartfelt conversation. I couldn’t stay mad at him for too long. I reminded him that he didn't need to be so hard on himself and that it was perfectly acceptable to disconnect from work for a while. Nothing would happen. 

            I understood, though, that part of Noah’s reluctance to let go stemmed from his deep-seated fear of everything that he had built crashing down the moment he stepped away from his responsibilities. For months —even years— I’d been trying to help him to get rid of this fear, but Noah’s stubbornness matched his dedication to his work. Bad Omens was everything to him. When he had nothing, he had the band. I knew I wasn’t the perfect role model in this regard, but I was making an effort to help him let go, offering some reassurance that morning in London as I massaged his tense shoulders and tempted him with the multitude of activities we could do during our time in the city. 

I’d been to Camden Town before, but spending the day with Oliver and Noah proved to me much more fun and memorable. We lost ourselves in the maze of market stalls, where eccentric vendors tried to sell their stuff with infectious enthusiasm, and stumbled upon a booth selling quirky hats and accessories, where we tried on an assortment of those, collapsing into fits of laughter as we admired ourselves in the mirrors. 

            But the highlight of that day came when we stumbled upon a street performer—a magician with gloved hands and a twinkle in his eyes. He made us stop by pointing towards me insistently with a finger. I would have ignored it weren’t it for Oliver, who pulled me, and per consequent, Noah, who has holding onto my other hand, to stand in front of the man. He took out a deck of cards from his pocket, and without uttering a word, he made me choose one of them. I couldn’t see them for they were facing down. I didn’t take long to choose one and flip it around to be met with a card called the Ace of Pentacles. I raised an eyebrow, for I had no clue what it meant, and by the look on Oliver and Noah’s faces, they didn’t know, either. 

            For the first time, the magician spoke with a grin on his face. 

            “Something new will be offered to you, young lady.” 

            “Something new?” I repeated automatically. 

            Noah let go of my hand. When I turned to him, he was glaring at the man with a mix of suspicion and disbelief. The man moved his eyebrows up and down as he stared at Oliver and Noah. I followed the movement of his eyes, expecting either one of the boys to say something to me. 

            But they said nothing. Oliver handed the man a few coins and pulled me away from him.       “What was that about?” I asked as he hurried me through the people crowding the alleyways. 

            “Just some street magic,” Oliver replied, his tone casual, but his eyes betraying a hint of unease. 

            Noah, still struggling to keep pace with Oliver’s determined strides, wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Yeah, just a gimmick,” he chimed in, his voice a soft murmur against my hair. 

            “He was definitely trying to tell me something.”

            Oliver glanced at me, his brow furrowing slightly. “It’s just a street performer, love. They say things to entertain.” 

            “He was probably just trying to keep the act interesting,” Noah added. 

            “That’s why you’re both trying so hard to dismiss his words?” 

            “That’s what you think we’re doing?” Noah replied.

            “You’re being blatantly obvious.” 

            Oliver shared a look with Noah and then shook his head. I slapped his chest, demanding his attention. He replied by wrapping his arms around me and muttering his next words between gritted teeth. 

            “Just let it go, babydoll. Don’t be so stubborn and let things be.” They were definitely hiding something, but it was also obvious that they were not going to say anything. “How about we grab something to eat? I’m starving.”

            The idea of food was a welcome distraction, and I nodded eagerly in agreement. 

            Together, we weaved our way through the maze of food stalls, the tantalizing aroma of various cuisines wafting through the air. We settled in when we found a free spot, and the tension seemed to dissipate. 

            But try as I might, I couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that the cryptic words from that man had a meaning, maybe something that somehow involved Oliver and Noah, and perhaps even me. I had more reason to believe that when I caught them talking about it again after they thought I had wandered to a vintage toys stall in the underground area of Camden Town. 

            “That was some creepy shit back there, man,” Noah said to him. “How the hell did he know?”

            “He didn’t know anything,” Oliver retorted, trying to sound confident in his words, but he failed miserably, and he knew it. 

            “Dude,” Noah replied, insistent. “I saw the look on your face.”

            “Well, I prefer to ignore it, or better: let’s get her s—…”

            I couldn’t grasp the rest of the conversation because a group of teenagers accidentally pushed me and pulled me further from Noah and Oliver, dragging me to the opposite side of the shop with useless apologies and giggles. I sent them a sullen look and made my way out, looking for my boys. 

            I found them after a few minutes, coming out from a packed shop in a corner that was surrounded from every corner, top, bottom, and sides, by merchandising from different movies, series, and bands.          

            Noah was putting his wallet  back in the front pocket of his jeans while Oliver carried a quite big box. I raised an eyebrow. 

            “What did you buy?” I asked when I was in front of them. The three of us moved slightly to the side to let the tourists move through the narrow alleys. 

            “Something for you,” Oliver said. “Noah told me you’ve spent the last couple of weeks watching Chucky so…”

            “We got you a Tiffany,” Noah finished as Oliver faced the front of the box to me. 

            I blinked as the replica of Tiffany Valentine stared back at me with her singular smile. She was dressed in her wedding gown and a biker’s jacket, and she looked just as malicious as she was in the movies.

            “Oh, my God, guys,” I held the box, keeping it at a fair distance to examine the details of the doll. “This must have costed a fortune. What were you thinking?!”

            “That crazy guy back there said that something would be offered to you so… I guess he was right, after all,” Noah replied.

            I licked my lips and looked at them with a face that said, “seriously?”. But how could I neglect the joy at the fact that they had thought about gifting me a collectible of this magnitude?

            “Where are we going to keep her? In the room? You’ll both get freaked out in the middle of the night if you get up to go to the bathroom.” 

            “We’ll go together, holding hands,” Oliver joked. 

            And with our laughs mixing with the sounds of the market, we moved forward. 

            Come evening, we made our way back to the city center and enjoyed a warm copious meal in a restaurant in Covent Garden. 

            The next day, walking along the banks of the Thames, hand in hand with my boys, the whispering breeze brushing against our skin, we sipped hot chocolates. I was holding Oliver’s hand while relishing in the drink when I noticed Noah walking angrily at a certain distance. I let go of Oliver’s hand, earning a shocked look from him. 

            “You can’t both hold one of my hands and still expect me to hold a cup of hot chocolate. Don’t be so dramatic.” 

            With our voices mingling with the voices of other tourists and pedestrians, we walked the long way from Westminster to the Tower Bridge, sharing stolen kisses. While in London, we also hopped on the Jack the Ripper tour,shivering with excitement and clinging to each other as we delved into the city's darker past. Then, to lighten the mood, we ventured to the Harry Potter Studios, where Oliver couldn't resist teasing Noah relentlessly, suggesting how good he would look with Harry Potter’s glasses and a tunic, with nothing underneath. Noah's flushed cheeks and playful slaps on Oliver's chest only fueled the laughter that echoed through the magical halls.

The day we left London in Oliver’s Range Rover had me feeling a bit jittery, especially after we made our pit stop in Sheffield for lunch and to pick up Luna before heading to Cumbria. 

            While I busied myself with packing groceries that Oliver had in the fridge and that would expire soon, I overheard the boys chatting upstairs. Being the naturally curious (and maybe slightly nosy person that I was when it came to those two), I had the intuition that they were discussing something they didn’t want me to hear. It wouldn’t have been the first time they’d done that, after all. Plus, I still remembered that one time they argued and roared like lions to each other in this very room, accusing each other of hogging all my time. 

            I climbed the stairs, Luna trotting faithfully behind me with her tail wagging happily. When I peeked into Oliver’s study —a spot where he and Noah often locked themselves to work together—, I found them both bent over the computer screen, looking all serious. But as they noticed me, Oliver quickly closed his laptop. 

            “Is something wrong?” I inquired casually.

            “Nothing,” they replied simultaneously, their responses lacking conviction.  

            Noah brushed past me, planting a quick kiss on the crown of my head before smoothly transitioning to ask about our trip preparations. It was clear that he was attempting to steer the conversation away. 

            “What were you talking about?” I pressed. 

            “Work,” Oliver replied tersely, his tone final. “I’m sorry. That was the last of it. We’ll stay away from all of it during the trip.” 

            You better, I wanted to reply. 

            However, I wasn’t entirely convinced, and not in regards to this last statement. Perhaps they were simply hashing out some night scenario that involved sex toys and all those things they liked to use when the three of us were in bed. The thought momentarily eased my apprehension, though a part of me couldn’t shake the feeling that they were hiding something.  

The trip to Cumbria took about two hours from Sheffield. We made a brief stop in a rural village to allow Luna a chance to stretch her legs while we refueled the car and enjoyed a cup of coffee and a snack. 

            Arriving at the chalet by Ullswater Lake just after five in the afternoon, the warm glow of the summer sun still lingered, promising us a few more hours of daylight to enjoy. After receiving the keys from the chalet host and familiarizing ourselves with the property, we decided to take a walk by the lakeside and play with Luna, who seemed even more static than the three of us at the prospect of spending a few days away from home.

            The serenity of the countryside quickly enveloped us, offering a respite from the hustle and bustle of our lives in the city. While Oliver and Noah unloaded the luggage, I decided to stay on the porch, basking in the new surroundings and peaceful ambiance. All I could hear was the birdsong, the rustle of leaves, and the gentle lapping of water against the shore. 

            “Doll, you comin’ in?” Oliver’s voice broke through my moment of enchantment as he enveloped me in his arms.

            “Yeah,” I replied with contentment, leaning into his touch. 

            “We’re going to have a good time here,” he mused. 

            I hummed in agreement, savoring the intimacy of the moment and wrapping my arms around my middle, where his kept me securely pressed against his chest. 

            “Especially our pretty boy back there,” he teased, casting a playful glance over his shoulder towards the inside of the house, where Noah was. 

            “Thank you for doing this for him,” I acknowledged.

            “I know he needs it the most, but this is for all of us,” he explained, a hint of exhaustion creeping into his voice as he recalled the challenging months leading up to this moment. “We haven’t had proper holidays the three of us together since… forever.”

            “We’ve been dating for a year and a half,” I reminded him, unable to suppress a smile at his melodramatic flair.  

            He responded with a mock growl, his actions sparking laughter between us. 

            “Come on, let’s go in. You’re going to love the bedroom.”

            He led the way inside. 

            The interior of the house had a rustic charm, with wooden planks adorning the walls and ceiling. The sofa faced the towering windows that stretched from floor to ceiling, offering an uninterrupted vista of the swaying trees and the tranquil expanse of the lake, its surface shimmering in the dappled sunlight. There was also a stone fireplace (not that we would use it, but it added to the coziness of the house). Adjacent to the living room, the kitchen lay open and inviting. Noah had left the food bag on the countertop, next to a water-filled vase that held a bouquet of white flowers that the host had placed right that morning, as a welcoming sign. ��

            There was one guest bathroom and, inside the suite, a main one with a bathtub. The suite had a grandiose plush bed dominating the space. Either Oliver or Noah had placed the Tiffany doll box in the middle of it, propped against the bunch of pillows that were calling to me.

            Noah was crouched by the tall windows on the far end, taking out some stuff and clothes from his bag when Oliver and me made our way in. 

            “It’s practically begging you to dive in, isn’t it?” Noah chimed in from the floor, gesturing towards the bed. Opposite the bed, a large mirror hung on the wall, the reflective surface capturing the play of light and shadow that danced through the room.

            Beside Noah, there was a cozy long divan. For an innocent instant, I conceived the idea of laying there with a book in my hands and a steamy cup of tea next to it, totally unaware that I would be propped there in all fours with no book nearby in less than twenty-four hours. 

After the evening walk, we entertained ourselves preparing a light dinner meal that would suit everyone’s tastes. Balancing Oliver's vegan diet and Noah's muscle-building goals wasn't always easy, but we managed. I wasn’t too picky myself, so I was happy with whatever was on the menu.

            With dinner done, we headed out to the porch overlooking the lake. Feeling witchy, I prepared a pot of lavender tea and served us a cup each. By eleven o’clock we were comfortably settled, wrapped in hoodies and blankets in the chairs provided. Noah was snug in one of his hoodies, but Oliver was barefoot, though. We talked for a while, going over through the activities that we would do while in Cumbria. The moment I noticed that the talk was steering back towards work-related topics, I brought back the talk about the house. We’d been thinking about moving in together and find a place in Los Angeles, and even though we had gone house hunting a few times, we couldn’t seem to agree on one house, and I had the nagging feeling inside of me that maybe Oliver and Noah were still not ready to take that step, even if we would spend half of the time away from each other with their tours and Oliver having his family and most of his life in England.  

            As the night deepened, our chatter gradually subsided, giving way to a peaceful silence that allowed me to take in the things I should be grateful for. 

            With a contented smile on my face, I looked at my boys one last time before allowing sleep to take over me. One of them lifted me into their arms and guided me into the house and to the bed. It didn’t matter which one it was. They both felt like home whenever I was tucked against their bodies. 

            They were home. 

It was ten thirty in the morning when I came out from the bedroom, where I had been rummaging through my clothes looking for the swimming piece I had recently bought. My heart swelled with a mixture of tenderness and concern as I found Noah seated on the sofa, his brow furrowed in a deep frown as he stared intently at his MacBook screen. I told him so many times to leave the laptop back at Oli’s house, but to hell if he would ever listen when it came to these things…            Without a word, I approached him, my fingers finding his back and gently starting to massage his tense shoulders. A soft sight of contentment escaped his lips at the touch, but it was clear that the burdens weighing on his mind ran deeper than simple muscle tension. 

            Outside, the joyful sound of Oliver’s voice drifted in through the open door, accompanied by Luna’s excited barks as they played fetch by the water. Through the windows, I watched as Oliver, shirtless and with his hair all over the place, tossed the ball into the water, Luna running after it without hesitation and jumping into the lake. 

            A minute later, Oliver was in the water, too. 

            “Let’s go,” I said to Noah with encouragement, releasing his shoulders. 

            He turned his head to me with a dramatic pout. I just gave him a look and proceeded to lift his MacBook from his lap, placing it on the coffee table before taking Noah’s hand and guiding him towards the door. 

            Finally outside, Luna’s eager bark greeted us from the water. She emerged from the shore and trotted to us, her wet white fur glistening in the sunlight as droplets flew through the air. I reached out to pet her head, feeling the cool moisture against my skin, while Noah crouched down to squash her cheeks and shower her with affectionate whispers. 

            I shed the thin beach robe I wore and left it draped over the armrest of one of the wooden chairs that Oliver had moved to the deck earlier that morning. With my hair cascading down my back, I made my way to the edge, oblivious to the lingering stares of the two men, one behind me, the other one already in the water. I dipped my hand into the water before diving in headfirst. 

            As I submerged beneath the surface, the weight of the world seemed to lift from my shoulders, replaced by a sense of weightlessness and freedom. I swam further from the deck, distancing myself from Oliver. My limbs moved in harmony with the rhythm of the water. In the distance, the silhouette of another house peeked through the trees, a solitary boat resting on its landing. The only sounds were the distant barking of a dog that wasn’t Luna and the gentle rustle of leaves. 

            Just as I was about to start swimming back to where I had last seen Oliver, I found him and Noah already in the water, their smiles radiant in the sunlight as they swam towards me. 

            Noah dipped his head, and as he came back to the surface he shook his head, causing water from his hair to splash in my face. I shielded my face with my hands, laughing. In no time, he had me wrapped in his embrace, peppering my neck with kisses. I hugged him tightly with my arms and legs around him. Moments later, Noah gently nudged me towards Oliver, who pulled me close with a perfect smile.  

            With his hair being longer, Oliver's locks cascaded around his face. I lovingly pushed them back, tucking them behind his ears, and I couldn't help but laugh at how different he looked with his wet hair slicked back. He said something as he raised an eyebrow, but his words were drowned out by Luna's leap from the dock. With a tennis ball clutched in her mouth, she swam over to us. Noah grabbed the ball and threw it far, prompting Luna to paddle after it will all her might. For the next hour, we played with her, reveling in the simple joy of the morning. After the tumultuous year we had endured, both personally and professionally, this vacation felt like a much-needed oasis in the desert.

            I felt a swell of pride, not just in myself, but in the two incredible men I was sharing my life with. 

            After a while, I found myself in Noah's arms again, letting him rock me side to side in the water, my head resting against his shoulder, my skin wrinkling from all the time we'd spent in the lake. Noah and Oliver were talking about a festival anecdote from the previous year in Milan, while Oliver absentmindedly toyed with Luna’s worn tennis ball. She was lounging lazily in the sun on the deck. But the boy’s conversation eventually dwindled into silence, a quietness that I only noticed when I felt Oliver’s chest against my back, his lips pressing a tender kiss to my shoulder. I smiled, nestled against Noah’s body.

            Suddenly, Oliver’s hand, which had previously been resting on my waist, slid down to the seam of my bikini bottom, making me gasp. Noah was observing my reaction with a mischievous grin. Two seconds later, he deftly located the strings of my bikini top and skillfully untied the knot.  

            My questions about what they were doing went unanswered. 

            A wave of panic surged within me when the two pieces of clothing were removed from my body and I was suddenly naked in the water. I looked over my shoulder to Oliver only to find him swimming back towards the deck. Panicking, I looked at Noah. I was about to tighten my grip on him when he disentangled my limbs from his body, kissed me on the lips quickly, and also started swimming away from me.

            “Guys?”

            No reply.

            “Guys!” I screamed, my voice barely above a whisper, my eyes scanning the surroundings to make sure we were alone.

            With no preamble, they got out of the water, meeting on the deck with my bikini pieces in hand, exchanging amused glances before turning their attention towards me, floating in the lake with wide eyes, trying to understand what the purpose of this was. Laughing, they headed towards the chairs, Oliver pausing at the outdoor shower to cleanse himself. Before turning on the water, he tossed my bikini bottom to Noah, who caught it in a swift movement of his arm.  

            “Are you kidding me?” I muttered to myself as I watched Oliver enjoy his shower and Noah have fun examining my bikini with an interested look on his face, as if it was something he had never seen before. 

            Nervously, I kept glancing around me, aware that if someone decided to come out from those houses in the distance or some people in a boat drove past this place they would see me, for the water was clear enough to reveal my nudity. 

            This wasn’t fun. Or at least not until I realized they had no intention of returning my swimming suit. The spectacle was too engaging for them to give it up so soon.  

            I licked my lips in a nervous attempt at sorting out my options. As much as I enjoyed letting them do these things, they were pulling on my strings, and you know that saying ‘two can play at a game’? Well, three can play, too. 

            So, I swam my way back to the shore and climbed the ladder, letting the water cascade off my body, down my breasts and my legs. I stood at the edge for a moment to sweep my hair back, relishing in the stunned expressions on their faces as their eyes scanned my bare body on display.  

            Yes, they had expected me to stay in the water and beg for my bikini. 

            Without sparing them a glance, I walked confidently back to the house, grabbing my towel on the way and wrapping it around me. As I entered the house, I looked back one last time to see their mouths agape.  

            I stuck my tongue out at them and headed towards the shower in the bedroom’s bathroom. 

It had not even been twenty minutes since I stepped into the bathroom to wash myself. While drying my hair, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, sporting a naughty smile. The dirty girl in me was just waiting for the provocation to pay off. 

            What took me by surprise was how quickly the anticipated scenario unfolded the moment I opened the bathroom door.  

            I wasn't even given time to look forward to the night. 

            Oliver and Noah were standing in the doorway leading to the bedroom, each casually leaning against one side, still wearing their trunks and their hair still slightly damp. They looked at me expectantly, wicked smiles playing on their lips.  

            It looked like a scene straight out of a movie, really. These things rarely happened in real life. 

            Knowing that minutes of pleasure awaited us –or perhaps hours (I was allowed to be optimistic)–, I provocatively slipped a finger into my mouth, teasingly nibbling on the tip while fluttering my eyelashes a couple of times. 

            Oliver's eyes traced a path up and down my figure, lingering on the expanse of my legs where the hem of Noah’s white t-shirt I had borrowed ended. Little did he know, I wasn’t wearing any panties, just like the time we attended my brother’s Jack engagement party. My mind had truly turned into a perverted thing. Just thinking about what we had done during that evening made me shiver with anticipation, imagining what could unfold today. 

            “Get on the bed.”

            The command didn’t come from Oliver or Noah, bur from my own lips. The startled expressions on their faces made the courage it took me to assert myself like that in their presence totally worth it. 

            Noah arched an eyebrow. 

            “What did you say?” 

            “You heard me,” I replied, unable to suppress the smile that crept onto my face despite the efforts to maintain an air of determination and dominance. The situation was electrifying, fueling an adrenaline rush that promised to leave me grasping for air.

            Oliver was the first to comply, albeit with a hint of reluctance, his gaze trailing me from the doorway to the expansive bed. He settled against the headboard, but I shook my head, silently motioning for him to lie down. Then, my attention turned to Noah. 

            “Noah?” My eyes met with a look that suggested he had a different idea of how things should unfold. I nearly rolled my eyes. 

            “Noah, could you please get on the bed?” I emphasized the ‘please’, hoping to appeal to his cooperation. 

            “Now that’s more like it,” he responded, finally acquiescing. 

            As I turned to retrieve something from the dresser where we had kept some of our stuff, I did roll my eyes. You might not be able to take the Dom out of Noah, but I was more than ready to keep trying, if only for the fun of it. 

            In the back of the top drawer, I found what I was looking for: two pairs of handcuffs. A smile played on my lips as I examined them before turning to face the guys. 

            They were both lying on the bed side by side, their heads slightly raised to watch me. Confusion tinged their expressions as they observed me standing there, the pair of handcuffs dangling from my fingers.           

            “What do you think you’re going to do with those?” Noah questioned as I approached him, taking his left hand and guiding it towards the bars of the bed’s headboard. 

            “It’s about time we turned the tables, don’t you think?” I replied, securing the first cuff, noticing how Noah’s expression was becoming strained. 

            “Baby, you don’t want to do this,” he protested. 

            “But you’re letting me, aren’t you?” I softened my voice, sweetening my tone. 

            Noah pursued his lips, a nervous twitch appearing in his jaw. 

            “I’d let you do anything. That doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of having me at your feet,” he argued. 

            “Don’t you think I deserve a little payback for you leaving me naked in the lake?”

            “You didn’t seem too upset when you came out of the water, doll,” Oliver interjected, lounging back to enjoy the interaction between me and Noah.  

            “A woman has to learn to govern herself, especially is she’s with two perverts like you two.”

            “I’m not a pervert,” Noah protested again. 

            Click. With both wrists now secured to the bed, from my position at the foot of the bed, the image looked tantalizing. But it was evident that Noah wasn’t comfortable not being the one in control. While my initial intent was merely revenge, I began to consider that perhaps this could end up helping Noah relax and let go. He was a control freak and a perfectionist, qualities I benefited from, but which could also burden him. 

            Noah tested the strength of the restraints, growing more frustrated as he realized his attempts were futile. The handcuffs were sturdy; they weren’t freaking toys.  

            I wasn’t too sure that Noah would withstand what I wanted to do to him without starting to plead for release, but it was worth a try. 

            “Dude, you are a perv,” Oliver said. 

            “Just because I enjoy sex and having fun during it doesn’t make me a perv,” Noah defended. 

            “Are you sure about that?” The other man challenged him.

            “Absolutely. Call me whatever you want, just not a pervert.”

            “Kinky lover?” I suggested. 

            “Hm. Yeah, that works for me,” He finally agreed. 

            Oliver’s laughter at the interaction ceased abruptly when I seized his wrist, securing his left hand alongside Noah’s right. 

            “What?” I spoke. “Did you think I was only going to tie up Noah? You took off my bikini bottoms,” I pointed out. 

            “Who’s laughing now, bastard?” Noah grunted. 

            Unlike Noah, Oliver submitted to being tied more readily, without making grumpy faces and pulling at the handcuffs. He simple observed with particular attention as I bound him.

            To secure his left wrist, I had to climb onto the bed and pass one leg over his lap, kneeling over his shorts. 

            “Are you not wearing any underwear?” He suddenly exclaimed. 

            Immediately, Noah’s eyes also dropped to the space between my legs. 

            I hurried to fasten the handcuffs, then stepped off the bed, pulling the shirt down to cover myself. 

            “Are your trunks still wet? I better take them off,” I suggested.

            “Yeah,” Oliver whispered, impatient and wide-eyed. “Take them off,” his words were accompanied by the not-so-subtle movement of his hips. 

            Noah, at his side, was growing increasingly hot and tense. He remained silent, only lifting his hips slightly when I indicated for him to do, allowing me to drop both their trunks to the floor. 

            To tease them a bit more, I stayed still for a moment, admiring their bodies, relishing in the sight of what they had between their legs. 

            Yeah, those were mine. 

            I licked my lips, alternating my gaze between the two. With the intensity of my stare, Oliver’s cock twitched slightly. 

            “Don’t move,” I instructed as I walked backwards towards the luggage. 

            “Is that some kind of joke?” Noah questioned, irritated.

            I retrieved a tiny light blue lingerie set from my suitcase. I hadn’t planned on wearing it until the last night, but it seemed like debuting it now could be fun. I rushed to the bathroom and locked myself in to change. 

            I didn’t spend more than five minutes there, but Oliver and Noah were growing so impatient. 

            When I opened the door, I was nervous, but at least, seeing them both securely tied to the bed alleviated some of it. 

            Their complaints dissipated the moment they saw me. As much as I would have loved to revel in a delicious torture and watch them fight against the restraints, watch their cocks grow harder and harder just by watching me, and thinking of what they might do to me and what I was going to do to them, impatience was already taking its toll on me, and the butterflies in my stomach were dancing anxiously.  

            I climbed onto the bed and positioned myself between the two bodies, placing my hands on their thighs. I caressed them, warming the skin of their legs as well as the skin of my own hands.

            I initiated the warm-up by kissing Oliver, a little reward for behaving. He responded hungrily, his roar muffled by the intensity of our kiss. Tracing my lips along his jaw and down his neck, I savored the sensation, eliciting withheld moans that mingled with the sounds of Noah’s struggles against his handcuffs.  

            I may have had only one mouth, but I had two hands.

            I slid over to Noah, offering him a smile before pressing my lips to his. As I kissed and nibbled, my right hand trailed down Oliver’s chest, tracing the patterns etched into his skin from memory, reveling in the rise and fall of his chest with each breath. When I placed my palm face down, I could feel his heart racing. 

            Noah’s contentment, however, surprised me.  

            I had expected him to beg in a hoarse, choked voice to let him go, unable to bear being at my mercy, so mine was the surprise when instead, he asked me to touch him.

            I repositioned myself, glancing at Oliver before complying with Noah’s request. 

            “Touch him, doll,” Oli said. 

            My left hand moved down Noah's chest, past his navel and through the dark pubic hair before reaching his throbbing member and encircling it with my fingers. Noah let out a sigh that held all the air he had been holding inside. I tugged at him at the same time that my mouth descended through his neck until my lips landed on one of his nipples. He sucked in a breath. His back arched a little, and I took that as a notice to use my tongue to toy with his nipple, nibble at it and suck on it, just the way he loved doing with mine. 

            “Fuck…” 

            That was a glorious sound.

            I settled at the foot of the bed, and leaned down to caress the tip of Noah’s cock with my tongue. He tilted his head back, eyes closed. He was hard as a rock. 

            Beside him, Oliver wasn’t in much different condition, but his eyes were open, and he watched with lust and a fierce hunger the movements of my tongue, lips, and fingers on Noah's cock. 

            “Watch,” I told him, “because everything I'm doing to Noah I’ll do to you next.”

            I loved Noah’s taste. It was a potent blend of masculine essence with a tinge of salty and earthly kick. A surge of pride swelled withing me each time I witnessed how deeply I aroused him. That look of total pleasure on his face? I did that.

            With my mouth on his cock, Noah’s moans filled the room, resonating through the walls. The art of sucking him off was a dance I had mastered long ago, a rhythmic symphony orchestrated by the movements of my lips and tongue, the occasionally scrap of my teeth and a tortuous suction, guided by the music of Noah’s vocalizations. 

            However, I could sense he was holding back. A furrow appeared between his brows; his struggle evident as he strained against the handcuffs. After a few minutes, a vein in his neck began to swell. Next to him, Oliver muttered a curse, his own erection hurting for being neglected while his eyes couldn’t wander away from my ministrations on our pretty boy. 

            Soon, when I felt Noah tense in my mouth, on the brink of release, I withdrew. 

            “No!” He shouted, lifting his head in a rush. “Babe, what are you doing?” His tone was desperate, evident in the rapid rise and fall of his breath. 

            Running a finger across my lips, I moistened them before shifting my focus to Oliver.           “It’s Oliver’s turn.”

            “But— I didn’t come.”

            “And you won’t. Not in my mouth. Not now.”

            His brown eyes widened further as he watched me descend, mouth open and tongue out, towards Oliver’s cock, which was already glistening with precum. 

            “Goddammit, yes…” Oliver mumbled, smiling as he finally rested his head on the pillow, more than ready to succumb to the pleasure I was going to give him. 

            But as much as I wanted to recreate myself on him, and given that I’d assured him that I would repeat the same steps as I did on Noah, it was impossible. The spectacle I had put on with Noah’s cock had already pushed Oliver to the edge. If I were to repeat the same seductive dance with him, he would come in my mouth in less than a minute. 

            And I didn’t want that. 

            Oliver was more vocal than Noah, less inhibited in his desires. Louder. He welcomed me with complete abandonment.

            He hadn’t yet fully engaged with the suction of my mouth when he strained against the handcuffs. As I lifted my head, I noticed that both he and Noah had their eyes closed and they were holding onto each other with their hands clasped together on the headboard.

            How sweet. 

            When I pulled away from Oliver, I remained kneeled between them at the foot of the bed. They were covered in a layer of sweat, their flushed cheeks and erratic breaths emphasizing their captivity—they were tied to the bed, and they were mine.  

            I felt stupidly happy. 

            “That’s it? You’re not going to let us come?” Noah queried. 

            I shrugged, my hands on my knees. 

            “Maybe if you play your cards right…”

            “You know we always do,” Oliver declared with a certain roughness in his voice, now tugging at the restraints. 

            “I’m going to release you,” I said to Noah, positioning myself over him and stretching my body so that my still covered chest hovered above his face. “But only if you promise not to pounce on me like a lion as soon as you’re free.”

            In response to my warning, he playfully pretended to want to bite me, lifting his head and opening his mouth before closing his jaw. The gesture made the three of us laugh. 

            Releasing him, Noah’ didn’t lunge at me; instead, he grabbed my head to bring our lips together. 

            “One of us is still tied. This isn’t fair,” Oliver complained, tugging on the handcuffs for emphasis. 

            Raising an eyebrow with one of Noah’s hands still on my cheek, I retorted, “Don’t talk to me about what’s not fair when I spend half of the time tied to the bed and at your mercy.” 

            “Maybe that’s exactly what we should do now,” Noah interjected. “What do you plan to do about this, huh?” He asked, gesturing towards his reddened erection. 

            “I’ll take care of that,” Oliver declared, “if this feisty kitten decides to let me go.”

            I muttered a playful ‘whiner’ as I moved to Oliver’s lap, unfastening the handcuffs, and letting them fall onto the bedside table next to the keys. In a swift movement, Oliver pushed me onto the bed, eliciting a small yelp from me. His hands swiftly went to my underwear, starting to pull them down. 

            “Are these new?” He noticed. 

            I nodded. 

            “This is fucking sexy. This color looks so good on you,” he complimented as he ironically slid down my panties, tossing them onto the floor. “I’m sure Noah is having the time of his life, aren’t you?” 

            Indeed, Noah’s eyes were roaming over my chest. Being a man who had a particular interest in the underwear I wore, he admired the details on the design of the lacy bra before leaning in to pull the fabric covering my left breast down. Then, he placed his mouth atop of the peak of my breast and licked. 

            A moan escaped my lips. 

            “Always so sweet…” he murmured against my skin, “and so responsive. It only adds to the pleasure.” 

            Yeah…

            Just as with any of their touches, the sensation was intoxicating, and I didn’t want Noah to stop, but Oliver interrupted to insist my bra was unnecessary and I should be naked, always naked. Noah readily agreed, wasting no time in attaching his lips to my breasts again as soon as I was as naked as they were.   

            “I know she’s delicious, but I told you I’d take care of you,” Oliver reminded Noah, “so get on your back.”

            With a pleased smile, Noah complied, kissing my lips one last time before laying down next to me. 

            “He doesn’t have to say please?” I teased, raising an eyebrow at Noah. 

            “Don’t be so jealous,” he said to me, extending an arm to grab my forearm. “Come here.”

            I thought he wanted me to kiss him while Oli sucked him off, maybe cuddle him, and perhaps watch him as he came undone, but then he said, “Sit on my face.” 

            Even though it wouldn’t be the first time, the proposal always made me flush. Nonetheless, I couldn’t hide my excitement, a fact that Noah was quick to notice, a big grin spreading across his face as I shifted on the mattress. 

            “You love sitting on my face, don’t you, baby?” 

            I straddled Noah’s inked chest and leaned forward, feeling his hands grip my buttocks as he helped guide me. 

            “Wait a sec,” Oliver stopped us, causing Noah to glance from the side and above my thigh and prompting me to turn my head. 

            Oliver trotted towards the door, where Luna stood, undoubtedly confused by the scene before her. 

            “You shouldn’t see this, pretty girl,” Oliver said to her. “This one here is already corrupted, but you’re still a pure soul, so I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to close the door.”

            Like the good girl she was, she didn’t say anything. 

            Oliver closed the door and took a moment to open one of the windows on the right side of the bedroom, given that the temperature was quickly escalating indoors. 

            Noah’s laughter rumbled against my thigh as he placed a kiss before refocusing his attention on me. 

            “Hold onto the headboard if you need to. Or pull at my hair, I don’t mind.”

            I took a deep breath and gripped the headboard. I felt his breath between my legs. I closed my eyes momentarily to savor the sensation of his hands enveloping my thighs, pressing me down on him, and the anticipation of what was to come. 

            When I glanced down for a moment, I caught him softly murmuring a tender ‘I love you’ before his mouth found my center.  

            And I melted. 

            Already floating on cloud nine, Oliver kneeled at the edge of the bed and grabbed Noah’s ankles, pulling him towards him. In response, Noah tugged at my legs, prompting me to extend my arms so I could still brace myself against the headboard. 

            “What a fucking glorious view,” Oliver muttered, and I could only imagine. But my thoughts were quickly replaced when Noah’s lips and tongue worked fervently on my clit. By the way his fingers dug into my skin, I knew that Oliver finally had his mouth on him. 

            Even with a window open, the temperature in the room was rosing up steadily, matching the pace of my increasing heartbeat. Noah’s tongue moved with precision, expertly teasing and tantalizing me. He knew exactly how to play with me, using the tip of his nose to rub against my clit before letting his tongue snake out and wander between my folds. 

            As our moans intertwined, Noah’s movements intensified. His focus on me unwavering even as Oliver perpetuated a delicious torture on his cock, which caused a symphony of pleasure and curses to fill the air. The momentum kept building up, with Oli taking him deeper and deeper with every bobbing of his head and scrap of his teeth. Noah pressed me down harder to his face, and the pressure and suction on the spot between my legs was growing increasingly maddening. 

            It never led to madness because at some point Noah’s teeth trapped my clit in between and a sharp cry of pain escaped from my lips, breaking the haze of our pleasure.

            The reason: Oliver had sucked his tip in a way that nearly made him lose his sanity. In response, Noah accidentally bit my clit. 

            “Baby. Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” 

            His hands gripped my waist and pulled me down onto his chest, his eyes searching my face for signs of distress as I kept a hand between my legs, my eyes closed shut and my teeth scrapping my lower lip. 

            “What happened?” Oliver asked. 

            When Noah explained, Oliver burst into laughter, causing Noah to scold him before he shifted a bit to check my face again.

            “Baby?”

            “That was… not nice,” I managed to say, though my gaze softened as I opened my eyes and looked at Noah, his face adorned with pink swollen lips and traces of my arousal. 

            “I know, baby. I’m so sorry, it wasn’t on purpose,” he apologized, his hands stroking my arms.  

            “It’s ok. I’ll be fine,” I reassured him. 

            I reached out to touch his cheek and wipe away some of my arousal from his chin. He looked so beautiful like this, though. But I was suddenly lifted from atop Noah’s body by Oliver’s strong hands. 

            “Let’s see what all this pretty boy’s fuss is about.” He laid me down on the divan by the large windows overlooking the lake. His chest was glistened with sweat, and his scent mingled with mine, surrounding me in an heady embrace. 

            I took a deep breath as Oliver spread my legs open and inspected me closely. 

            “She looks pretty fine to me,” he said. 

            “I’m okay,” I muttered, feeling a twinge of shyness at the way he was observing me. 

            Noah came to stand on my side. In all honesty, they were a bit terrifying hovering over me while I was laying down. They would have made me tremble if it wasn’t for Noah’s concerned face. 

            “She’s wet and… very hard,” Oliver noticed, running his thumb up my clit, causing me to bite my lip and inhale sharply. 

            Noah bent down, running a soft hand through my hair and kissing my forehead. 

            “Doll, tell Noah you’re okay, otherwise his erection is going to turn into a withered flower.” Oliver’s joke made Noah roll his eyes as he stood up. 

            Instead of reassuring him verbally, I lifted myself on my elbows and directed my attention to his still-hard cock. With my eyes locked on his, I Indulged in tasting the tip once again, teasing him with my tongue. 

            “You sure you’re okay?” He struggled to say, losing focus. 

            “I’ll be better when I have you in my mouth and Olive between my legs.” 

            His expression shifted from concern to disbelief and then amusement. Yeah, he still hadn’t wrapped his head around the fact that he had me. He had me in every possible way. And he had Oliver, too. They both had me and I had them. 

            With one hand, I took Noah’s length into my mouth, pumping him until he groaned, his head falling back in a mix of pleasure and vulnerability. His hands remained clasped together behind his back, emphasizing his muscular form. 

            Meanwhile, Oliver’s lips trailed a path of kisses up my thigh. Usually he was one to nibble, but it quickly dawned on me that maybe he was concerned, too, about Noah accidentally biting me, and he opted for keeping his touch soft and gentle. 

            “Do you have any idea how fucking good you look when she’s blowing you?” Oliver’s words to Noah were a seductive whisper, who made the young one struggle to swallow under his intense gaze. “Next time we’ll get her on her knees, and you will stand before her, with a full-length mirror in front of you. You will see your reflection while she tortures you with that sweet hot mouth, and there I’ll be, right behind you,” Oliver murmured, planting kisses on my legs, his green eyes fixed on Noah as I continued to suck him off. His words weaved a spell around him, Noah’s throat tightening, leaving him momentarily breathless as a drop of sweat slid down his temple. “I’ll get my hands on that fucking tight ass of yours and give you whatever you ask for. How does that sound?”

            A heavy breath suffocated Noah. His reaction prompted Oliver to laugh at how easily he got both of us in this state. 

            “Hold her head,” Oliver instructed Noah, displaying again that face that said ‘let’s get to work’.

            Not that Noah wouldn’t have done it. They were so considerate that they even worried about my hair breaking if it got stuck under our mess of limbs or pillows or whatever that was around. 

            Noah’s hands found the back of my head. He moved my hair to the said and positioned himself closer to me so that my head was nearly resting atop his thigh. I lifted a hand to reach for his cock and stroke it as Oliver kissed my chest and dipped lower until he reached my navel. He stopped. He used his thumb to trace a circle around it, and reverently, he kissed it and licked it, fondling that area of skin and cherishing it as if it was his favorite part of my body. 

            I found myself gradually descending into the depths of subspace, utterly captivated by Oliver’s every move, unable to tear my gaze away from the ministrations he was performing on the skin of my stomach.  

            One of Noah’s hands found the side of my face and gently caressed my cheek. 

            “Do you like it when he does that?” His deep voice was soft, tender.

            “Yes,” I managed to breathe out, my heart racing, my mind filled with cotton. 

            I couldn’t really describe the feeling. Noah was keeping me secured and comfortable against him while Oli pressed kisses on my lower tummy, which felt another level of intimate when they were placed on my navel. 

            “You love it when we’re all sweet and nice with you, don’t you?” Noah continued, trailing strands of hair behind my ear. 

            Oliver answered for me.

            “She loves it.” 

            I mirrored Oliver’s grin of satisfaction. 

            My boys. 

            “But you like us feral when we’re inside of you,” Noah’s voice dropped, and it didn’t matter that we were already naked and touching each other: a shiver ran down my spine. 

            “She’s so receptive to everything we do or say,” Oliver remarked, some sort of amazement in his voice. “She’s fucking perfect for us, man.” 

            And they were perfect for me.

            Oliver stepped back, standing up. He lifted my legs, while Noah extended his arms to reach for my ankles, spreading me open for Oliver. As Oli positioned himself at my entrance, he rubbed his cock between my folds, teasing me. Meanwhile, Noah was about to stretch back to retrieve a condom from the nightstand and pass it to Oliver when I shook my head. 

            “No,” I said. “I want to feel you. No barriers. Just your skin on mine.” 

            Oliver’s eyes turned a shade darker.

            “What did a motherfucker like me ever did to deserve you?” 

            “If you have to ask that question maybe I’m not doing a good job at showing you how thankful I am for your love and affection…” I teased. 

            Oliver clicked his tongue and bent down to kiss me hard and passionate.

            “Look at her,” he said then, directing his words to Noah. His voice tinged with desire. “So needy.”

            The observation wasn’t a tease; it was a simple acknowledgment of the truth. I was indeed needy, overwhelmed with ecstasy at the realization that this was my life, my men, and that we were all totally happy and satisfied with each other, in every aspect possible. 

            Noah took hold of one of my wrists, securing my arm against his thigh, allowing me to use the other to his pleasure.

            “She’s soaked, isn’t she?” 

            “A complete mess,” Oliver concluded, “which only makes… this… smoother,” he finished huskily as he slid his cock inside of me, one inch at a time. 

            The delicious stretch made me let out a moan from deep withing me and dig my nails into Noah’s thigh, seeking to anchor myself. I wriggled, trying to adjust to Oliver, yearning to feel him as deep as possible, to claim him as mine one more time. With a lift of my hips, I impaled myself on the last of his rigid length, gasping as he seared me with his heat. 

            Oliver eased back, teasing me with the almost withdrawal, each movement causing a fresh gasp to escape my lips, my moans growing louder with every thrust. Every nerve in my body tingled with awareness, every cell attuned to the rhythm of his movements as he pushed in and out. 

            “Faster, please.”

            “Yeah,” Oliver roared in response, his hands firm on my hips as he guided me to his desired pace. 

            My entire body responded to him, just as it did to Noah’s whenever he was inside of me, performing the same intimate dance.  

            “Your mouths are wonderful and all that, but man,” Oliver’s voice was strained, “there’s nothing like being inside of her.” 

            “I know. I know…” Noah moaned as I stroked his cock and attempted another long lick the best I could, given my strenuous position. 

            It took him less than a few moments to gather himself and tell me not to stress my neck, but Oliver’s intensified thrusts stole my breath, making me scream in ecstasy.  

            “That’s it, doll,” he encouraged, his hands urging my thighs open as they trembled under the force of his movements and the intensity of the sensations cursing through my entire being. “Get all tight on me.”

            Oliver looked breathtaking as he pounded into me, driving me closer to the edge. The colors of his tattoos appeared more vibrant, accentuated by the sweat covering his body. When I glanced up, I found Noah smiling at the sight, as if he cherished every moment of Oliver taking me to the brink. 

            His hand found my left breasts and squeezed. 

            “You’re so fucking beautiful when you’re about to come,” his voice trailed off as his lips found my ear. “I never thought I would enjoy the sight of another man burying his dick deep inside of you, but seeing Oli fuck you does things to me.”

            “Noah,” I whimpered in response. 

            “Yeah, princess. I know exactly what you need.” His hand traveled up to my neck. When his fingers tightened around it just the right amount to give me a new type of high, I thought I could die right there right then. “Is he fucking you good, kitten? Talk to me, come on.” His grip eased just a bit, enough to allow me to answer. 

            “Yes. God, yes. It’s so good. Please, more. I want more. Everything.”

            “You’re like a fucking renaissance painting,” Oliver said amid his struggle to form words, his breath heavy with desire, his body covered glistening. “Both of you naked, disheveled, you in Noah’s arms, holding onto him, his hand around your neck… He’s fucking thrilled to see you coming undone while you’re drowning in the pleasure I give you.” 

            When Oliver slowed his movements to get one knee on the divan and leaned forward, —to pull Noah into a kiss— I whined for not being able to move and share that kiss with them. I was trapped underneath the cage of their bodies, but oh if this wasn’t a sight to behold. I felt blessed and completed. We were a mess of love and lust and passion, and we couldn’t get enough of each other. 

            “Take her for a ride,” Oliver offered Noah, pulling away from me. “I can’t stop looking at that pretty mouth and those swollen pink lips and I’m going to die if I don’t get my cock in her mouth in the next ten seconds.”

            In less than ten seconds indeed, Oliver maneuvered me onto my hands and knees on the divan. I wasn’t sure if my limbs would hold me, but I had no other choice. Noah stood behind me, bending to shower kisses on my shoulders, back, and butt, while Oliver circled to stand in front of me, his gaze just as hungry. As he indicated for me to open my mouth, I complied because I was, after all, a good girl. But first I had to trace his stomach with my tongue, licking every tattooed inch of his torso and savoring the electricity of his body. Only when I reached the beginning of his happy trail, I put him in my mouth. 

            The intensity in his eyes mirrored that of a predator, hungry and primal. 

            His weight on my tongue was deliciously overwhelming. 

            “The sight of you taking me like this always drives me insane,” Oliver confessed, his hands tangling in my hair. “But you know what tops it? Seeing Noah take you from behind.” 

            As if his words worked magic, Noah slid inside of me, his hands gripping my hips as he pressed against me. “Kitten…” he murmured, holding himself back. “Fuck. You’re damn sure you don’t want a condom on?” 

            I shook my head as best I could, for Oliver was occupying every corner of my mouth and cancelling my ability to speak. 

            “Look at him, baby,” Oliver took his cock out of my mouth so that I could look back over my shoulder. I couldn’t really maneuver as much as I would have liked to, but it was enough to see Noah’s contorted face of pleasure, his struggling smile filled with adoration and desire. 

            His thrusting started a second after, his movements becoming more fervent with very passing minute, each thrust pushing me closer to the edge of bliss.            

            “You should see his face, baby,” Oliver said to me, holding my chin, “the way he’s pulling his hair back because you’re taking him to the edge. I’m not sure what to do, man,” his last words were directed to Noah. “I’m torn between taking your place and finish her off, and taking you and making you scream until you can’t sing until your next life.”

            “Fuck, man. Shut up. I won’t last long,” was Noah’s reply. 

            As Oliver’s hoarse laughter reverberated in my ears and Noah’s powerful thrusts shook my entire body, I summoned the last reserves of my strength to reach out and grasp Oliver’s cock. With trembling fingers, I guided it back into my eager mouth. I sucked him off for a long minute, tracing with the tip of my tongue the thick veins protruding from his length, licking the top as if it was candy. 

            Noah’s next thrust was hard and bordering on pain, but pleasurable all the same. I let go of Oliver to scream, the sound ripping through my vocal cords. Noah’s hands found my hair and he gathered all the messy strands to pull me towards him, tilting my head back until I was left with no choice but to stare at Oliver with watery eyes, my chin up and my lips parted, the saliva dripping from the corner quickly wiped away by Oliver’s thumb. In that moment, I felt completely exposed, vulnerable yet exhilarated by the raw intensity of the experience.  

            “Fuck,” Noah groaned.

            “Yes,” Oliver roared in return, grabbing my face with a hand and pressing his fingers into my cheeks. “You look so beautiful on all fours, letting Noah fuck you hard and deep. You’re so, so good for us, doll. And we love you so fucking much, you know that, right? We fucking adore the good girl that you are.” 

            I was a wreck. There was nothing I could do. I was done for. My heart was going to explode and so was the rest of my body. 

            Despite my helplessness, a prideful smile played on my lips, and Oliver kissed me through it, his touch a blend of amusement, desire, and profound love. 

            “Noah, you should definitely see her like this. She can’t stop smiling while you fuck her. It doesn’t get any better than this. We’re some lucky bastards.”

            Noah’s response came amidst his relentless thrusts, his words spoken with conviction and tenderness. Leaning over me, he enveloped me in a hug, his warm breath against my ear, one of his hands sliding down to my clit. “You’re perfect for us, kitten, so take what we give you, yeah? We’re all yours. Everything we have to offer is for you.”

            I was surrounded by their love and desire. I felt truly cherished and consumed by ecstasy. I wasn’t going to last much longer, and my orgasm was going to swallow me whole. 

            The air was thick with the scent of our worked-out bodies. Our desperate and raw moans filling the room, echoing off the walls as every nerve in my body ignited, higher, harder. Each touch, each thrust, pushed me to the brink. Every tingling sensation escalating, every sensation in every inch of my body was constantly awakened and pushed to the edge of feeling. My entire body tingled, the electrifying sensation turning into ache that crazily enough kept me thrusting back against Noah in pleas for more as I welcomed Oliver’s hot and frenzied release inside of my mouth, driving me to arch my back and press into Noah’s body, yearning for his release, too. 

            I wanted it all. 

            In the end, I didn’t even need much more than Noah’s movements and Oliver’s words. Their tempo had been a tortuous dance that had promised to send me over the edge, and I was just

about

to

fall

right 

over

it.

            “Eyes on me,” Oliver commanded, grabbing my jaw again. “I want you looking at me when Noah makes you come.”

            “Come on, baby,” Noah urged. “It’s right there. Just right,” one more thrust, “there.”

            It was there, and I took it with screams and trembles until my head fell on the divan, my body unable to hold itself, my legs spasming as Noah’s growls filled my ears and his cum spilled over my buttcheeks and lower back.              

A day later — Early morning

Noah's laughter shook his body, causing a ripple effect that had me giggling and squirming against his chest, where I was lying diagonally with my hand extended towards Oliver.  

            Oliver was sleeping face down. He had drifted off after a morning session of lovemaking in which Noah had taken me while I slept in his arms and Oliver had taken him—a chain reaction that had us falling one after another like a line of dominoes.

            Noah and I hadn't been able to fall back asleep, and now we laid intertwined in each other’s nakedness while Oliver’s breathing drifted intermittently above our hushed voices. 

            Being in a playful mood, Noah and I decided to tease Oliver, making comments about how much he snored. Oliver responded with a muffled grunt into his pillow. 

            Later, I found myself idly toying with Oliver’s curls until he grunted again and shifted away from us, turning his head in the opposite direction. That’s when my eyes fell on his nipples, and that’s where I teased him next. 

            Oliver swatted my hand and opened one eye. “Stop,” he ordered. “Why don’t you annoy your other boyfriend? That’s why there’s two of us.”

            I hummed in disappointment and then sighed as I rested my head on Noah’s chest, still looking at Oliver’s sleeping face for a few moments. The softness of his features eased my spontaneous frustration, the comforting touch of Noah’s hand running through my hair also helping. 

            “Did you sleep well?” Noah asked with a soft voice, careful not to disturb Oliver too much. 

            “Hmm,” I murmured, nodding as I rubbed my head against his chest. Shifting, I turned to lift my head and look at him. “You?”

            “Yeah,” he replied, “except for the time I had to get up to pee and the damn doll kept staring at me until I disappeared into the bathroom.” His finger pointed towards the boxed Tiffany on top of one of the drawers in the room, likely placed there by Oliver on purpose. 

            “So, Oli didn’t get up to walk hand in hand with you, huh?” I teased. 

            “Does he really look like he would get up in the middle of the night to ease my fears? He’s totally passed out,” he remarked. 

            “Not really,” Oliver chimed in from his pillow. “Not anymore, anyway, but I’m knackered.” 

            “Knackered,” Noah repeated, a hint of confusion in his tone. My fingers played with his brown strands of hair. The haircut he wore these days was my favorite. “What the hell does that even mean, dude?”

            I giggled softly.

            “You should know by now, love,” Oliver added, still speaking with closed eyes, one hand resting beneath the pillow. 

            “Worn out, tired,” I whispered to Noah. Then, I leaned in to straddle him and planted a kiss on his jaw, feeling the stubble under my lips. He’d probably decide to shave today, and I couldn’t wait to watch him, maybe even Oliver, too, standing together in front of the bathroom mirror with blades in hand. There was something incredibly attractive about watching not just one, but two men shaving. 

            I sighed loudly, feeling like I was still in a dream. 

            My lips traced the curve of Noah’s jaw until I playfully nibbled on his earlobe. Sensing my playful vibes, he turned my face towards him and planted a gentle kiss on my lips, his eyes locking onto mine with intensity. 

            “You were fantastic yesterday morning.”

            His words made my cheeks flush. 

            “Thank you,” I replied, feeling a warm glow spread through me. 

            “You know…” he began, “I didn’t want to fall in love with you,” his tone turned somber as his fingers tucked strands of hair behind my ear. “During those months when we were just having fun and having sex every so often… I was terrified of what I was feeling every time I had you in my bed, in my arms, and I told myself I couldn’t afford to fall in love with you; that I was not good for you. By the time I decided I had to stop fucking you, I realized I had fallen in hard long ago,” he took a deep breath, his index finger tracing the line of my nose. “Now, I don’t regret a single minute I’ve spent with you, any of the steps that have brought us here. And I wouldn’t want things to be any other way. You, me, Oliver. Sex, love, arguments; the sun, and the rain. Everything. I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything in the world.”

            His words melted my heart, and tears welled up in my eyes. 

            Before they could spill over, Oliver’s voice cut through our moment of tender honesty. 

            “You two are really cute, seriously.”  

            Noah relaxed with resignation, rolling his eyes. I slapped Oliver’s bare shoulder, but my body sought his with desperation when I saw his beautiful eyes shine under the morning light streaming in through the windows, accompanied by his radiant smile. 

            I had everything anyone could ever ask for. 

We left the warmth of the bed nearly an hour later, after a tickling match and some cuddling. 

            I took longer in the shower that morning, thoughts of the day ahead and memories of the previous day’s activities mingled with the steam around me. I pulled my hair up in a bun in front of the dresser, and with my bikini on and a well-worn t-shirt that I had long since taken ownership of (and could no longer remember if it had belonged to Oliver or Noah), I walked into the bright openness of the kitchen and went straight to make myself a cup of iced green tea. 

            Through one of the windows, I spotted Oliver and Noah playing outside with Luna. 

             After pulling a few ice cubes out of the freezer, Noah's loud laughter drifted into the house through the door and open windows. I caught sight of him doubled over with mirth, hands on his knees while Oliver, not far off, lay sprawled on the grass, laughing as Luna affectionately licked his face. 

            Witnessing their happiness never failed to reassure me that all was right in the world, in our world. The nights when Noah’s health was a concern seemed distant now, replaced by a sense of well-being and contentment. Any lingering doubts Oliver may have harbored about this relationship or his place within it had melted away. We were a team. We were bound to each other. They loved me, they loved each other, and I loved them. 

            An incoming call on Oliver's iPhone snapped me out of my trance, forcing me to draw my attention away from the window as I reached for the phone resting on the kitchen island. 

            Seeing Amelia’s name flashing on Oliver’s phone screen, the same real estate agent that had guided us through potential homes for our future together as a trio a few months ago, caught me off guard. Memories of our discussions about the charming two-story house in a serene Los Angeles neighborhood, close to the house Jack and his wife Sylvie had recently purchased after getting married, flooded back. Noah hadn't been very decisive about it; He had a preference for other neighborhoods. But the main problem was that the house I fell in love with was way out of our budget, so we had ruled it out. Then we decided to leave house hunting activities for another time, maybe after summer and after their crazy schedules turned less chaotic. 

            That’s why I didn't understand why Amelia was calling Oliver. 

            Nevertheless, I answered the call. Amelia’s warm greeting reminded me of our prior interactions. When I told her that Oliver couldn’t be put on at that time, she seemed pleased to speak with me instead. 

            She started talking about paperwork and payments, which left me baffled. 

            “As I indicated to Noah and Oliver, after receiving the missing paperwork and the main payment, we would have the keys available in a matter of a couple of weeks. So, I was calling to let you know that you can come by the office to pick up the keys to your new home at a time that works best for you.”

            What paperwork? What payment? 

            The keys to my new home?

            I had no clue what she was talking about. 

            “Our new home?”

            “Sure,” she didn’t catch my astonishment, how lost I was in this conversation. “The one with the spacious living room and with the garden in the back, in the cul-de-sac. I still remember your excitement when you saw that room upstairs and shared your plans of turning it into a library. That was a fantastic idea!”

            I blinked, frowning even harder, and looked through the window for Oliver and Noah.

            “The house Noah and Oliver revisited when you were working,” Amelia added.

            It couldn't be. 

            Amelia repeated my name a couple of times when I didn't say anything. 

            I shook my head. 

            “Yes, yes, I'm here. Sure,” I forced myself to say, because I didn't know what else to say. “Um, we're on vacation right now. I guess when we get back next week we can stop by and pick up the keys.” 

            “Perfect. We've sent a copy of the signed papers to both Oliver's and Noah's email. If you have any questions or need anything else, please don't hesitate to give us a call.”

            “No, of course. We will. Thank you.”

            My hand was trembling as I placed the phone back on the counter. My mind was racing with thoughts, grappling with the implications of Amelia’s words—the sudden reality of a house, our house, in Los Angeles, already paid for. 

            In that moment of disorientation, a fresh morning breeze made its way into the house, followed by Oliver’s radiant presence and the sound of his laugh. Noah wasn’t far behind. They were dressed in their swimming trunks and simple white t-shirts, exuding a carefree energy and carrying with themselves the scent of nature, their hair moving swiftly with the wind. 

            They appeared almost ethereal, like angels descending into the room.  

            The morning light filtered through the windows as Oliver stretched his arms towards me in greeting, his graceful features illuminated momentarily before dropping at the sight of my expression.

            “Hey. What’s with that face?”

            “Did something happen?” Noah asked, sensing something amiss, too. 

            “I’m not sure,” I replied. “I just got off the phone with… Amelia,” my gaze flicked towards Oliver’s iPhone resting on the counter. “She said that we can drop by her office anytime to pick up the keys of the house.”

            After a moment of silence, Noah cursed under his breath.

            “Shit.” 

            Oliver took another moment to reply, his shoulders sagging as he licked his lips and placed a hand on his hip while sharing a quick concerned, disappointed look with Noah. 

            “You were not supposed to find out about the house until we were all in Los Angeles,” he admitted. 

            I frowned because there were no plans of being the three of together in los Angeles any time soon. That’s why we had planned this trip to Cumbria as soon as our days off coincided. 

            “We don’t even know when that’s going to be,” I said.  

            Considering their packed schedules, this short vacation was the only opportunity for the three of us to be together before our commitments to work pulled us apart again and Noah and Oliver drowned themselves in work. I also had to return to my job. I wished I could be on holiday for longer, but unfortunately, the demands of everyday life kept me tied to my mundane job in L.A.

            “Yes, we do,” Oliver corrected. “I’m flying with you and Noah back to L.A. next week.” He allowed me a moment to take it all in. His words carried a mixture of excitement and anticipation that was contagious, but my confusion and disbelief at the recent revelation were bigger. “I have a month off, and I planned on spending it with you two so that we could go through the moving-in process together and get everything sorted before I have to come back here for work. We thought that a month would be time enough to work on whatever needs fixing in the house and maybe make some changes. Painting the walls, work on the garden, converting that room with the garden-facing windows into the studio you mentioned wanting, and…”

            “Wait. Wait, slow down,” I interjected, raising a hand and feeling a whirlwind of emotions stirring inside me. “This is… I don’t understand.”

            “Why don’t we sit down?” Noah suggested. 

            Taking his cue, I sank into the soft cushions of the sofa, folding my legs beneath me. Oliver settled beside me while Noah remained standing, always unaware of the effect his long frame had on everybody else, especially on those who were sitting. But I could feel his nervous energy as he paced a little. However, despite both their worries, there was an undeniable spark of mischief crossing their expressions every other second. 

            “I thought you had work to do because you’re already over a year delayed on the release of Bring Me’s new album, and you,” I turned to Noah,” your schedule for next month is packed with photoshoots, interviews, and other meetings and stuff.”

            “Well, yeah,” Noah acknowledged, “but one more month isn’t going to hurt anybody, is it?”

            “I’m sure your fans will have something to say about it,” I chided them lightly. 

            “We all have personal matters to attend, so if things have to get postponed, they get postponed. Period,” he concluded. “This is more important.”

            This. Oliver, me, him. 

            “And it’ll be just a month, so that we can finally settle down,” Oliver added, his voice filled with determination and hope. 

            The phrase ‘settle down’ echoed in my mind, confirming that this was not a joke. I blinked repeatedly. 

            “So… Did you really— You bought a house?”

            “We bought you a house, yeah,” Noah confirmed with a smile, his brown beautiful eyes reflecting the depth of his affection. 

            A sarcastic laugh escaped my lips, disbelief mingling with gratitude. 

            “You don’t just buy a house like that. Especially not that house. It was way out of our budget and…”

            “We made some adjustment to the budget,” Oliver clarified, his tone firm yet gentle. He draped an arm on the back of the sofa, his fingers finding a lose lock of my hair. “You really loved that house when we visited it a few months ago, and we thought… after everything you’ve done for us…” 

            “What have I done for you?” I asked, feeling so utterly overwhelmed and undeserving of this. 

            “Doll, are you kidding?” Oliver said, a hint of offense creeping into his voice. “You have to start giving more credit to yourself or we’re going to have a problem here.”

            Ignoring his scold, and unable to shake off the sensations flooding me, I repeated, “You didn’t buy me a house.”

            “Okay, put it as you wish because technically, it’s our house now,” Noah said. “It’s for the three of us, so, if it sounds better to you, we bought us a house.”

            I had a knot in my throat and butterflies in my stomach. 

            “But I didn’t… I couldn’t… I can’t afford it,” I finally protested, my voice trailing off.

            “Who said you have to pay anything? This is a gift from us to you, because we love you and we want to have a place to call our own,” Oliver silenced my objections with a finger. “You threw a huge birthday party for me last November, Jurassic Park-themed,” he continued, a soft smile tugging at his lips at the memory. It had, in fact, required weeks of work to set everything up as I wished. Oliver was a fanatic of the Jurassic Park movies, and I thought it a great idea to celebrate his 38th birthday with dinosaur animatronics and a whole venue decorated as if it was a jungle. “And you were the one who managed to convince Nicholas and Jolly not to prepare anything for Noah’s birthday because he hates celebrating it. Instead, you took him to an escape room, then out for Mexican food, and finally to see the stars from Hollywood Hills because sometimes he’s soppy like that.” 

            Noah giggled at his comment, his eyes sparkling. The honesty and warmth of their words enveloped me, dispelling any doubts. 

            “If it weren’t for you, I’d still be going to bed alone,” Oliver continued, “thinking that I’m too much of a weirdo for someone to love me. And Noah would probably be locked in the studio, ignoring the growing headache in that big head of his.” 

            Noah responded to his comment by punching him in the shoulder, but Oliver’s response was to grab him by the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss, then gazing deeply into his eyes before turning his attention back to me. 

            “You love me despite all my bullshit,” Oliver said. “You’ve given me a reason to find the purpose that was missing in my life. You brought Noah into my life.”

            “You brought the three of us together, baby,” Noah added with a soft smile. 

            “We would be a train wreck without you, so the least we could do was to get you the house of your dreams,” Oliver concluded. 

            At this point, tears streamed down my face, my whimpers mixing with laughter of joy. The overwhelming love and appreciation that filled the room leaving me breathless with emotion. 

            “You also bought me that really expensive replica of Tiffany Valentine” I commented. “How much more money are you planning of spending on me?”

            “Our entire bank accounts if that’d make you happy,” Oliver answered, pursing his lips to show that that was the least of his concerns.

            “You know money is not what makes me happy,” I answered, shaking my head. “I just care about being with you, building a life out of moments like the ones we’re spending here.” 

            “Then, there’s no point for this talk,” he added. “We got a house. We’re moving into our new place next week.”

            “We’ll sleep in mattresses on the floor until you select the furniture you want for the bedroom. We’ll let you choose,” Noah announced.

            “Oh, my God.” Reality sank in. Noah crouched down in front of me to wipe the tears for my face. “Okay,” I whispered to myself. “You bought a house. We have a house. This is nuts. It’ll take me a while to process it. I have to tell Jack; he’s going to be strangely happy about this. He’s going to give you both a pat on the back and finally be totally convinced that you love me for something more than just my pussy,” I joked 

            “Already did,” Oliver said. 

            I frowned, realization dawning on me. 

            “Don’t tell me Jack already knew about this.”  

            Both nodded, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to just wrap them both in my arms or throw a pillow to wipe the grins on their faces. They had this planned all along… 

            “You have to promise me something,” I said, turning serious.

            “You name it,” Noah said.       

            “What is it?” Oliver asked. 

            “You’re going to quit this bad habit of making decisions without me.”

            Even if I always benefit from those.

            “Oh, baby, but you love our bad habits.”

            And it had been far too long since I had willingly fallen down the abyss of those. 

Well, this is the end, but not the last time you'll be reading about them. I have a second bonus scene pending to post which I haven't finished yet. It takes place between BONUS SCENE I and THE EPILOGUE, and it focuses on the reader's brother's engagement party. There are some hints at what transpired during that evening in this epilogue, did you catch them? 🤭

And again, thank you so much to every single one of you that took the time to read this, reblog, and comment. It's been a wild ride.

Taglist: @girlfromrussia-universe | @oro-e-diamanti | @lma1986 | @missduffsblog | @bngurngheart | @winterwinchester | @jilliemiw86 | @sorrowsofsilence | @th4t-em0-k1d | @to-be-written | @thescarlettvvitch | @nonamessblog | @somebodyels3 | @starsomens | @ditto66 | @dominuslunae | @cookiesupplier | @midnight-eternals | @pennysky | @iknownothingpeople | @cncohshit | @ladyveronikawrites | @blackveilomens | @robabankfuckmickeymouse | @kageyasma | @concretedaddy2018 | @silentglassbreak | @thescarlettvvitch | @sammyjoeee | @pathion

[chaoticrobotics]

To everyone: what is the weirdest thing you have found or encountered after hours in the Plex?

Sun: Oh goodness... there was a POTATO that one of the kids brought in and hid in one of the corners under a play mat. This kid, for WEEKS would go over there and sit down with a book and blanket so I wouldn't see the water bottle they had to give to the potato a drink. The only reason I found it was because I went over there one time to clean and saw a puddle and lump... I seriously thought the kid left a different 'surprise' for me *sigh* It had quite a bite of roots but also some mold from being under the mat... that kid was not happy when they came back and their potato was gone....

Moon: "I found a skeleton."

Sun: What!? No you didn't! WHY would there be a skeleton here in the Pizzaplex???

Moon: "It was in the kitchen trash compactor! It was really small too! Still had some chicken on it! >:)"

Sun: Ugh... You're jokes are really bad. And not in a funny bad.

Moon: "Whatever. Anyway, I've seen plenty of weird stuff while doing my rounds. Nothing really comes to mind though... At least, none that I want to explain..."

_________________

Freddy: I think the weirdest at the time was a few days after we were upgraded to be able to eat. Seeing Chica rip apart a bag of garbage and devour almost the whole thing was something Bonnie and I talked a lot about afterwards. It is a lot less weird now, but the first time it happened was quite a shock.

_________________

Monty: There's this weird "Off Limits" sign that is over in Kid's Cove. I think it's some of the unfinished remodeling of the rest of Kid's Cove when Monty Golf was built. I don't know, it's weird though.

I'm too big to go in there. Moon crawled down there once and got super freaked out and swore to never go in there again. No one else wants to help me figure out what's in it so it's just gonna stay a weird hole to me I guess.

_________________

Roxy: Not really after hours, but like... Whenever I see an old picture of Foxy it... it's weird. Okay, I don't really like it. Sometimes when I'm taking a shortcut to get to a kid's party or whatever I pass by one of his pictures and it just makes me feel... bad? *sigh* Why keep those things around if he's gone? Why do I need to be reminded of him! I never even met him! AND YET I AM STUCK LIVING IN HIS STUPID SHADOW AS IF I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH AS I AM! I AM BETTER THAN THAT CRAPPY PIRATE!

... *sniff*

Sorry... just... ignore what I said. The weirdest thing I've ever seen was uh... was Sun popping out of the slide for the first time. There, that's it. That's my answer...

_________________

Chica: What's not weird? Hahaha! I mean, if you think about it, aren't we all super weird in our own way? There's ton of weird things! Sun and Moon being able to twist their body like a pretzel, Monty having made a deep hole in one of his ballpits in Monty Golf to hide things in, Freddy's whole tie collection having some of the funniest patterns to them, and Roxy secretly bringing me some Monty Mystery Mix hidden in her hair. It's all weird! It's all fun! That's the best part about this place!

_________________

DJMM: Hmmm... weird huh? Well, it wasn't me encountering it much, but one of the first times I met Moon was when it was trying to steal an arcade machine. I thought he was an intruder and grabbed them immediately only for them to freak out and beg not to be scrapped. That made me loosen my grip as, I thought at the time, I probably just scared a maintenance bot trying to fix an arcade machine.

Well, Moon explained that he needed the arcade cabinet and I just helped them as far as I can. He never really explained what was so important about that game, but I assume it was one of her favorites in the old Daycare she told me about and so they put it in or close to the Daycare so that they can play it often. Which, is kind of a bummer for me... I'd love to sit by Moon as he plays a game and just rambles about what it's playing...

[dancingbpierces]

TEXT:📲Caleb

@8:30pm Brittany and Chris' House

Caleb: Hey Britt, did you get the rest of the photo's that I sent to you?

Brittany:[Two hours later] Hey! I am so sorry that I'm just now getting back to you. Chris and I was putting Ari asleep. But yes! I did get them! Thank you so much!

Caleb: Oh it's okay. I knew it was around her bed time.

Caleb: okay.. cool. Did you like them.

Brittany: Yes! I loved them. Especially the one that you took of Dylan and Charice dancing together. I know they are gonna love this. Thank you for helping me out.

Caleb: Yeah.. I figured they would want all of the pictures with themselves as well. I also put some pictures of their kids and their cousins in there as well.

Brittany: Thank you Caleb. This is helping me out so well. I would have Chris help me. But.. he isn't to happy with Dylan and I don't want him to feel like he has to help.

Caleb: No problem.. anything for you Britt. oh and Chris too.

Brittany: You are such a good friend to me Caleb.. I am so lucky to have you.

Caleb: Too bad it can't be more then that...{Kicks himself for sending that.]

Brittany: What? 🤨

Caleb: Sorry Brittany I didn't mean to send that.. It was for a client. We are talking about price range on pictures. lol🥸

Brittany: Oh okay! lol I got kind of nervous for a second..

Caleb: uh yeah.. anyways did you see the pictures that I got of you and myself? If I would have known that it would be the last picture I would take with you for a while. I would have done more.

Brittany: yes! I did.. I um. Kept them for myself. I don't have many pictures of you and I. So I thought I would put them in my own scrape book. But yeah.. I wish you could come to the party. I'm sure everyone would love to see you.

Caleb: Oh Well I still have some pictures of you, me, and Ari ice skating... I can send them to you.

Caleb: oh yeah? What about you?

Brittany: AHHHH I'm literally screaming! Yes! You have to! I still have pictures of you falling on your butt, because you were trying to not hit the old lady!

Brittany: lol Caleb you know I would love for you to be there..

Caleb: oh god No! Don't remind me. I can't believe she tried to hit me with her cane because she thought I was gonna hit on her. lol.

Caleb: Really?

Brittany: hahaha oh god stop! I can't laugh to loud I'll wake up Chris.

Brittany: YES Dork! I would love for you to be there!

Caleb: haha I was trying so hard to get away from her. But I kept falling on my ass. I literally had to scoot off the ass. lol FYI That lady is fast as hell for a ederly. She was yelling at me in some language I didn't know! I guess you and Chris are good now?

Caleb: mmmhmmm Are you sureeee?

Brittany: Hahaha stoppppp! I'm gonna peeeeeee! lol lol! She really was fast though! She was cussing you out in Russian! She calling you a asshole! lol Oh yeah! We are great! Thank you for pushing me to talk to him.

Brittany: Stop asking when you know the answerrrrr! -_____-

Caleb: hahahaha [rolling around his bed like an idiot] Don't pee on yourself Britt! Oh the way I forget you can speak Russian! Well I mean you are part Russian.. so it makes sense.. lol Well that lady was rude!

Caleb: Just wanted to make sure. lol that's all. Well Brittany. I gotta go.. my client is calling me. and your welcome by the way.. I see how happy Chris makes you happy. You deserve that.

Brittany: haha Well then stop making me laugh! lol

Brittany: awww okay! Well you answer that phone call then. I'll take you tomorrow.

Brittany: Oh and Caleb?!

Caleb: yeah?

Brittany: You know I want you to be happy right? I want you to have a girl that is gonna treat you right and make you smile.

Caleb: Thank you Brittany. That means a lot to me. Unfortunately. I found her. But she isn't available..

Brittany: oh... Well I'm sorry Caleb. BUT Don't worry. You will find you someone special. Good night Caleb.ヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ

Caleb: Night Britt...[sighs sadly as he lays on his pillow. Placing the phone on his night stand.]

[jinkicake]

I AM SO SORRY I AM TERRIBLE AT RESPONDING

Ah that makes sense why you haven't made some! But any tries to make pesto again since the last time now? Or how about more baking??? No I totally get that! Cooking and baking is so fun and even when you make mistakes, you just find a new way to improve I feel!

Apparently she does it to like show that I'm hers?? Like wow ma'am chill I get there's two other girls here and one boy but you're still my fave since you were my first duck!

I think her anxiety has been worse which is why she's been a bit more aggressive so I gotta get her some benadryl or even cbd to help her chill out! Cause 99% of the time they're totally chilling!

I'm sure you absolutely killed your finals! I totally believe you did! I'm glad you've been playing video games! (Lots of Genshin? Hehe) and I hope your fave team won the world cup! Did you have a good Christmas (if you celebrate that is!) And new years?? I hope you did! How have you been? Taking care of yourself and kicking ass? Yeah, Thanksgiving was yummy since I cooked most of it! And thankfully Christmas was good, my mom got me an adjustable bed frame! And we went to a super yummy Italian place for my birthday!

nooo it's okay i'm bad too hehe it takes everything in me to respond to messages sigh

i haven't been cooking much lately,,, i've had no motivation! i hope itll change soon bc i really do enjoy eating good food.... but its so much work... so much but its so satisfying to make a yummy meal!

HAHAHA a possessive duck?! that's so funny i wanna see a picture of her,, how have they been doing in the winter weather? ((do you get cold weather??))

awww :-(( i hope she can relax more over time poor baby... my dog was suuuper aggressive bc he had really bad teeth but when he got them all taken out he became so mellow and calm hheheh

i passed all of my classes and that's all that matters!!! now... i just have to do another semester sigh but YES all winter break i've played video games and it has not been good for my eyesight but i dont care its so addicting i cant stop playing!!!! OH i was rooting for japan/america and messi so i kinda won hehe did you watch the world cup too??? also happy new year!!!!

italian food sounds so good im so jealousss,,, happy belated birthday!!! i hope you had a nice day and that your pets were extra sweet to you!

[dramagamergirl]

Day 3 - Love Unholyc

Third Day 

Chat 1:59 am Sweet dreams  

I can't sleep   I'm so tired +Hi 

Sure, I like that  I want to chat with you face to face... +Hi 

I want to see your startle face. +Hi  Something big is going to happen if I faint one more time... 

Sujee deserved it. You did the right thing +Hi  I think you overdid it considering she didn’t do it on purpose  

Maybe she doesn't like you being with me? —  Maybe she is paralyzed in love with you?  What's your mom like?   

Chat 08:43 am William’s heart   

Yeah, I'm right here —  Why did you call me twice? 

That pink haired human has a name and its hi +HI  did you worry about me a lot? 

Were they that important?   but what's done is done. What should I do —  

  I recharge some yesterday night so it's okay! —   We should look at it under a positive light its half full. Not half empty!    I don’t think I can remember all of them  You're right. I don’t listen to anyone so cheer up. — 

Oh right! It’s the black Sabbath  okay. I'll be more careful —    Hi calls  

  Chat 10:36 am My dear friend!   

Wow, your profile picture is so pretty —  lol I was kidding; you know me all too well 

How did you know that??  Are you worried for my wellbeing?  —    it's refreshing morning if that answer the question   I don’t feel so great — 

They were more attractive than unholycs —  I still have a long way to go  

To think you would find joy in my misery —  I'm glad you actually find my situation amusing     I don’t have any intention of forcing them to do my bidding —  Our power doesn’t work against other unholyc 

You have your butler though  Why don’t you hang out with humans? —    Huhu, wish all u want! —  I will deliver your message to William  

  Chat 11:24 am Cat is recovering! 

Yeap, 100 percent  I survived thank to Hi +Hi    Yes, I did!  I skipped because I felt lazy and tired — 

  I wanted to see you too...you should have stopped by +Leo  Good job. You can't just throw your life away like that.    I didn’t notice! Sad  I felt much better this morning all of a sudden +Hi    Hi image  

That’s because you drank too much yogurt lol  You have a sweet tooth too hi? +Sol    Great! I pulled it off —   I guess he’s not fully recovered yet. We need to take care of him until the very end.     I'm happy enough to be able to talk to you guys +Sol  There are so many things that I want that I can't even list them all  

Sol Image   

Ah! Did you want to have my slippers?  .. So cute lol +Leo 

Bird poop That’s ominous  Don’t you think you should rater clean it that chat about it here? Hahaha — 

  Sol Calls  

  Chat 13:46 pm Big Sister!!! 

Who is this? —  Okay, thank you 

Where did you get my number?  Haha Nice to meet you too +Sol 

What jeeps him so busy? —  Did Sol ever have a girlfriend? 

Hey  Hello? +Sol  Excuse me? 

  Chat 14:32 pm I have a question  

Yes, boss!  I wanted to talk as well lol — 

He called me sister in law lol  Don’t punish him, he was a nice person. — 

lol Are you checking on my meal status again?  Yes, I did —  No, I didn’t   

Something else? Theres nothing, we’re fine  mmm, the truth is... No, never mind — 

I am one who made the decision. You don’t need to. +Sol  William is not as irrational as he might seem lol 

  Chat 16:37 pm Memory from school years  

  I will take that SOS! +Leo  Hi Leo, I'm not busy!  

Application requirement?  Can Hi translate? +Hi 

I think those who write negative comments online are all psychopath  Why would people spend time writing such a thing? +Hi 

Why won't you make a costume for hi?  Hi, so smart! +Hi 

That’s Sol’s privacy  I bet 100 +Leo 

Sol Image    Leo must enjoy physical activity. —  Aren't you a professional model? 

Sol isn't good at drinking? +Sol  Oh. The story sounds pretty interesting! 

The story doesn't match with how Leo looks  I want to see Leo get tired +Sol 

I like how manly Sol is  That’s right. I like how soft and warmhearted Sol is — 

Lol Sol... you are really upset  Treating elderly well. That's amazing — 

  Chat 18:58 pm Strange vacation 

Do you think he told her about my story?  30 pairs of slippers? +Hi 

Didn’t you say the sign was no longer there?  Maybe she’s talking off a little longer? — 

You guys must be close to her  She’s going to be fine +Hi 

Maybe it was someone looked like her? +Leo  Maybe she just wanted to take a rest  

Sol is so reliable and competent  I really wish she’s okay +Sol 

I like sweet things too! +Leo  How can Sol handle so much sugar? 

      Chat 19:43 pm Man From underworld 

Sujee, you must visit Ripeato pretty often?  Are you close to her too, Sujee? — 

Don’t you think saying that can hurt Sol’s felling even more? +Sol  Why don’t you use different way to describe him? 

Sujee, you are being rude —  are you talking bad about Sol’s friends? 

Sol has enemies?!  They want the Ripeato’s street? How bold! — 

Sol, does this put you in danger? —  Sol. Don’t you have intention to solve the issue by force? 

Everything is centered on Hi for you, Sujee —  Do you know these people, sol? 

It Feels like we are mingling into something dangerous —  Can't we just report the case to the police? 

Leo you must have been busy?  Leo, I am still here! +Leo 

Sol is as normal as we are  Sol must be aware how concerned you are, Leo — 

How did you get close to her, Leo? +Leo  How did Sol get close to her, Leo? +Sol  How did Hi get close to her, Leo? +Hi 

I am too, I've got so much to do  I'm fine, pretty free +Leo   

    Chat 20:21 pm Don't tell others 

Urgent matter? What is it? —  Are you okay??   

I won't until you come.  Don’t push yourself too much, you don’t have to come if it's difficult —

  Chat 21:24 pm Advance from human female friend 

I'm just doing my work   I just talked to sol — 

Sol is not a gangster —  No. I didn’t 

I think you are  You are worried about me? — 

You... Heard? That means those may not be true —  He had lived such a though like?   

Sol said he trust Ripeato employees —  all the employees at Ripeato used to be gangsters? 

Yes, I understand. Thank you —  well a lot still doesn't make sense to me    I only speak about Hi that I know —  Something makes me think I know more about Hi than you do 

  Chat 21:45 pm Sol’s last words  

Don’t worry, sol will take care of everything!  We haven't heard from Hi either, right? — 

Hi, lets calm down a bit. I'm sure that what Sol wants  Don’t be sorry. You must have been so busy... We have startled you +Hi 

Nothing much  He sounds there is some issues + Leo 

Does sol get involved in fights often?  Sol is super strong, so he's going to be okay, right? — 

Leo, you really do understand Sol too well +Leo  What message did Sol leave you with?  

Why do you have to be there early the morning?  Im so glad you are coming early — 

Okay, I will stay strong +Sol  I can't calm myself down from worrying 

Story21:53 pm Emergency Close down, Ripeato 

No options  

    Story22:34 pm Waiting 

Sol! Are you okay?  I was waiting for you +Sol 

Should support him standing —  Should Tell Sol he’s swatting a little but    I worried about you too —  We can't even worry a person who is taking care of himself? 

How come you sound surprise by that? —  Mm, I think? 

That’s right, I am upset +Sol  Nope, why would I feel unpleasant  

Stop, get a hold of yourself!  Let's finish this up first, okay? +Sol 

Sol, can you do it with less power...  It hurts if you do it like that, so let's loosen it up a bit. Be good, okay? +Sol 

Sol is there any issue that you are afraid to share with is?  Sol it may be just a feeling. But it seems you become a lot more talkative when I'm around — 

[sanzu-sanzu-sanzu]

Hiiiii.🙈

Just came here to say that I love your Songs About Toxic People so much.❤️ I've been obsessed about the Bonten Executives ever since I caught up with the manga and it's just so sad how we don't have enough content about them yet.🤧

I love all the Bonten Executives and my favorites are Sanzu and the Haitanis.🥺🤧💕

It's funny because I don't even know how that happened and I didn't notice it right away but the next thing I know I'm simping after the three of them so hard and for days my mind has been filled with nothing but thoughts of them ever since. Oh, the struggle. (😂)

The lack of content about them almost turned me into a fanfic writer right then and there (🤣) because I seriously wanted to read something about an OC who's also the only female executive in Bonten and I almost wrote it down myself, I swear.😆 I have never written something before in my life. Never. That's why I am soooo glad to find Songs About Toxic People. You have no idea how you saved me from the thirst I've been having ever since I got introduced to Bonten!Sanzu and Bonten!Haitanis and how you silenced the raging thoughts in my head about them if only for a little while, may God help me.

Now. About your absolutely beautiful and wonderfully written fic. Let me just say that I love everything about it.✨ The characterization, the little details about OC, their interactions, the dialogue, everything, is chef's kiss in my opinion. English is not my first language and (I'm guessing your's isn't as well? If I'm wrong, please ignore this but if I'm right then) I admire how beautiful your narration is. The words you use and the way you can create an image in your readers' minds using your descriptions is amazing.❤️

Your "show, don't tell" skills in writing is very beautiful, very admirable, and it's also my most favorite part of your story. I love it very much, seriously. That skill is the one thing I lack that made me give up in being able to write something of my own.😌 I realized that when it comes to writing, there are so many factors to remember and consider in order to make it interesting and engaging for your readers. Worldbuilding, character development, pacing, to name a few. But the hardest for me to master is the one thing you're so amazingly good at. And I admire you for that. That's why whenever I come across a writer like you with such excellent "show, don't tell" skills, I always make sure to make my appreciation shown. ❤️

Another thing I love about your story is the OC.😭 God, I love her so much. She is everything I've wanted to see in a fic that involves the Bonten Executives. She's a badass, she's feisty, and she perfectly fits right in with the other characters. I could just cry with how perfect she is in my opinion and you made that happen.😭❤️ I'm very satisfied with her character and I want to thank you again because I just know that if I did followed up on my need to write my own fic despite my inexperience, I just know that I'll end up disappointing myself and possibly even hate the plot idea because I was not able to meet my own expectations so thank you, thank you, thank you.❤️

She is amazing. You are amazing. Your whole fic is super amazing. I am glad and relieved that I don't have to write my own because yours already exists and it's so perfect.🤧

A female Bonten Executive, and the only female one at that.🥺🤧😭 I am so incredibly happy that the idea is finally out there and someone finally wrote it and that someone is also such a good writer. 🙌🏼

Kudos to you and I hope I can do more than just read and then say thanks. I believe you deserve more than that because I've been looking for this exact content you made and I've been looking for days. And now that I found one, even just the one, I'm relieved because it's already perfect on its own.😌

It's possible that it would take a long time for other writers to write something like this: a female OC that involves the Bonten Executives, my favorite flavor.🤧 It makes me sad, but no matter. I don't mind if I have to reread Songs About Toxic People again and again and again like how Sanzu takes drugs I'M SORRY for a long while because it's enough to satisfy my hunger and my thirst for the time being.❤️

Wow. This got super long. My bad. 😅 I did not mean for this to happen. I hope you don't mind this long ass appreciation message. I love leaving this kind of messages to writers like you.😊

Anyways, yeah. I just came here to tell you that. I hope you're having an amazing day and that you're safe wherever you are. Please take care of yourself. I'm looking forward to more of your works and what you can come up with. I am super excited! 😁

Best of luck and God bless.

- ✨

helloooo :”( this one took me a quite a while to answer because i just couldn’t stop gushing whenever i’d open my inbox huhuhu but you have no idea how much this truly means to me and i wish i can write better words at explaining how this made me feel. <3

first of all, your obsession with the bonten executives is COMPLETELY understandable i’m literally on the same boat as you my friend hahaha with sanzu being my main guy <3 they’re just so hot and dangerous but i also think there’s something kinda funny with all those guys being together LMAO (especially sanzu and the haitanis…add in a dead-eyed manjiro omg..)

just like you i am quite sad about the lack of content on them hahahaha it’s the main reason why i started writing about them in the first place, actually! (also because i'm just obsessed with sanzu) but that was more at the beginning when i still mostly relied on ao3, and then i got more active on tumblr and now literally everyday there’s new fics about them and that makes me extremely happy 🥺 i always did think that the bonten executive OC would make for such a nice flavor so i just latched on to the idea, and i also wanted to keep it a little more casual because i’m not the best with dark themes hahaha but it also helps me imagine the bonten execs in friendlier, more human, more everyday settings—a very fun exercise when you can’t stop thinking about them!

i am beyond happy knowing that you’re enjoying my fic to the point of sending me this lengthy message (whose length i don’t mind at all!!!) 😭 painting a picture with words is one of my favorite things ever when it comes to writing and i just…tear up when people enjoy my descriptions and the interactions and the little details huhuhuhu you have no idea. i didn’t even know i was doing a ‘show, don’t tell’ manner of writing until you pointed it out, so i gotta thank you for this cause it made me think more about how i write (in a good way!), so thank you, i super appreciate it.

i also hope you do get to write if ever you wanna! manifest the things you’d like to see in the world—something like that! hahahaha but also yeah, it can be fun and the possibilities are endless and it’s fanfiction so you can always do you <3

again, this really just made my day and i’ve saved it to my notes to read for when i’m feeling meh hahaha. i gotta say in advance tho that my updates might not come as regularly as before cus (1) life and also (2) need ken wakui to reveal more about my favorite bad boy sanzu LOL so we get to know him better.

and here’s to hoping more people write about oc’s that are bonten execs! so you’d get to have your share of this genre of bonten fic! hehehe you deserve it <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH, i hope you’ll have a nice day too 🥺 and take caaaaare. MWAH.

ps. oh yes, you’re right! english is not my first language hahaha.

[jt-artsandfics]

Hey, could I request a bad batch match-up? I've read your other fics and they are incredible! Keep up the good work :)

So, I'm English, 5'3 tall with a pale complexion, brown hair, and brown eyes. I have ADHD and anxiety, I use She/her pronouns, and I'm an INFJ. I am also asexual biromantic if that helps at all. I have basically no friends, but I try to be kind to everyone even so. I guess there's nothing wrong with that, because it makes others feel good and therefore, makes me feel the same. In class, I kind of takes the mantle of the 'therapist'. I read a lot, a bit of everything really. But it has to be up to me because I can't focus when someone else tells me to read something. Speaking of focus, I fidget all the time (thanks to the ADHD) and tend to pace when I'm nervous. Which, lucky me, happens a lot. In public, I hold the appearance of a 'goody-two shoes' and I'm pretty quiet (which is for the best. I am painfully awkward at times), but around those, I'm close with, I'm anything but that, im louder, more chaotic and shockingly clumsy. My sense of humor is dry and sarcastic, but I always love a pun. I also love learning things, like anything at all, as long as it's not related to maths, which I suck at. I also have a pretty impressive music taste, ranging from film scores to rick Astley to Taylor swift to queen, basically anything. I’m also a theatre kid, I love performing, singing and acting (and dancing too, but I’m terrible at it. Though I can do ra-ra rasputin pretty well).I also love to write and draw, so I think you get the picture that im pretty creative. One other thing is that I love birds, owls especially, and know loads about them (like did you know that pygmy owls actually skewer their prey to hold it in place?) But yeah, I’m pretty enthusiastic about ornithology, but no one really cares.

Ok, Im so sorry, this was longer than I anticipated. If you do get the time to write something that would be great, but if not I completely understand, and I wish you all the best.

xxxx

I match you with.... Wrecker

You like many others are shorter then Wrecker. This man is tall but more so just meaty.

You are at quite to his noise, he lives just talking with you. You sitting up on his shoudlers as he explains how to set explosives up on the wall.

He loves holding your hand in public it's his way of showing you that he's dedicated to you. He also loves that he can just lift you up into his arms by pulling you up by your arm.

Read him books about how to set a thermals and he will just smile as he listens to you read. Like hell read anything you would like he just loves hearing you talk.

He also tends to pace when he's nervous or he rambles it's something he doesn't even realize to begin with.

God's when you two become really close your both unstoppable. You and wrecker will trip over each other it's inevitable on the Havoc Marauder. You have landed on him multiple times and he always seems to catch himself on time so he doesn't squish you.

He loves your jokes!, he wants to hear all of them so that at some point he can use it on some unsuspecting person.

Both you and Wrecker can talk about how much you hate math. Tech has tried teaching you both the basics for the things he needs help with but in the end it just leaves him frustrated with thw both of you.

Wrecker is really good at dancing but doesn't do it often. He learn back as a Cadet from holos before he picked up his love for explosives. Please, please just dance slowly with him!!

He knows how to do alot of slow dances but is also used to the fast beat music at 79's.

Tech happens to be your best friend loves listening about birds while Wrecker now has a slight fear on them from what you have told him.

"Your doing great, don't put yourself down" Wrecker says while slowly leading you in the dance.

"Wrecker I've stepped on your feet three times already" you grumble as he spins you and pulls you back to him.

"Its going to happen, don't worry about it. I'd be more worried if I stepped on you Tiny" he laughs making you smile up at him.

"That's it, wide steps and just follow" he reassures. "Where did you learn to dance?, it doesn't really seem like a hobby you would just pick up" you say which make him smile again.

"Back on Kamino when we weren't being trained or pushed to study most of the Regs in spare time found small hobbies. At the time I didn't know the rest of the Batch so... I watched holos, it's where I first learn what dancing was." He anwsers.

He dips you down and pulls you back up into his chest. " So every night after training I'd retreat to my little area and Dance. It was kinda hard not having a partner until I met crosshair. He snuck our of his area becuase he wanted to be alone and Well.. that how we met. He became my dance partner late at night it's reason he is so quick and stealthy" he chuckles while reliving the memory.

"That sounds lovely Wrecker. So you didn't know the Batch back as Cadets?" You as with a tilted head eyes focused on him.

"Most of us didn't know that others existed. It was only after Nala Se caught Cross disapreaing and getting up with me did she slowly let use meet others. All use boys didn't get along to wrll with our Original Batch so we ended dup forming our own little family" he states as you both continue to slow dance with Wrecker.

"I still can't believe you and crosshair were dancing partners, but it is quite fitting" you say while resting your head against his shoudler. "Hahaha don't yell him I told you, he will have my head" he says learning down to press a light kiss to your forehead.

"So... any other interesting Hobbies other then dancing?" You ask trying to tease him which makes his smile widen.

"Yes, Nala Se taught me how to sew becuase she made Lula For me back as Cadet but at the time she couldn't keep fixing her so, Nala taught me to sew so I could fix her. And well I became the one to go to for patching clothes" he states very proudly as you both spin around again.

"You truly are a big teddy bear wreck, the boys are lucky to have you." You state back to him leaning up to kiss him on the lips.

He hums lightly as he looks down to you with his mismatched eyes. "Don't go aroudn telling anyone I have an appearance to keep up" he says seriously before breaking into a laughter which makes you follow.

"Love you Wrecker and your crazy Shenanigans"

"Love you to Tiny and your two left feet" he jokes back at you.

[heylabodega]

just read some of your previous posts about dating, and I'm interested to hear your perspective: how do you reconcile daydreaming a future about a crush/upcoming date with trying to be detached enough to not care if it doesn't work out? finding that balance has basically paralyzed me into not dating for my entire life lol

Ha! ha! ha! I don’t know man! No but ok sorry. I really do feel this. I used to be SUCH a romantic daydreamer. The guy I loved lived across the country and I’d listen to that Vampire Weekend song “Campus” while I was lying on the quad between classes and picture him just...showing up? Or I’d listen to “Remedy” by Little Boots (all of my romantic daydreams had/ve very specific and slightly arbitrary soundtracks) and picture moving to New York and dancing to that song in a bar all...sexy I guess? and he’d...happen to also be at that bar? and notice I was beautiful and sexy and grown up? He’d be talking to his friends and then mid sentence notice me, dancing all...I guess I’m committed to ‘sexy’ now...across the room in my one shoulder bodycon dress from H&M and be like Benjamin Bratt in Miss Congeniality taking off his sunglasses like seeing me in a whole new light, beginning the inevitable dominoes to falling in love with me. More recently, a few years ago I decided the most charming thing about me was how good I was at making pancakes (that part might have been correct) and I needed the ingredients and wouldn’t it be so cute if my date went with me to buy them but I decided that pre-date and so halfway through the date when I was like “want to come to the grocery store with me?” he was like, “...ok?” and I was like not committed enough to this manic pixie pancake making girl I’d constructed to be able to hold it up alone and he was not cooperating and it was just awkward and I ended up rushing us out of the Key Foods on Myrtle and later on a second date ignored that same instinct and had bad sex with him. 

What is my point? What is my point. I guess it is this: romanticize yourself. Daydream about what a fucking fantasy you are. If you decide *he* (or she or they) is--well, anything if you decide they’re anything before you meet them--you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Not because they’re bad but because you don’t know what they are. There are people I’ve known for 20 years and they’re still revealing new sides of themselves to me. If you decide who anyone is before you get to know them, it’s going to be frustrating for both of you. ExCEPT yourself. Decide who you are. I read something recently, I truly can’t remember where, where the advice asker was like ‘I don’t hate myself but I’ve realized I have trouble deciding who I am because I constantly want to remain open and pliable to whomever my next boyfriend or boss wants me to be’ and I was like hahaha oh no. So if you are anything like me, which we already know you are a little bit cause of the romantic daydreaming, please do consider who you are and obviously that’s fluid and nebulous extremely Angela Chase voice people always say you should be yourself like yourself is this definite thing like a toaster, but think about what you like about yourself or what you don’t like about yourself but you know is yourself and really lock that in.

Open yourself wide open to the possibility of being charmed, of finding someone interesting, of feeling affection. Before you get there, feel as dreamy as you can. Listen to your dreamy songs, put on your softest top, eat a snack. When you get there, ask questions. The more you know about someone, the easier it is to be fond of them. Open yourself to the possibility of being bummed out. What if you thought this was gonna be so fun and bubbly and they were boring? Ok. Huge bummer! But better than the alternative: that you thought all day how flat this was going to be. idk idk I’m sorry if this is wildly unhelpful. Be dreamy, be open to dreaminess, remember that other people are completely separate from you and as real to themselves as you are to yourself, love love love and leave when you’re bored.

[sunshinetoshi]

@anastasijaiwaizumi asked me a super interesting question!! wanted to answer it separately bc of the trigger warnings so everything will be below the cut just in case

tw: mentions of potential abuse (physical, verbal, emotional), mention of breakups/heartache

pls make sure you read through the trigger warnings above and always feel free to exit out of this post if you feel uncomfortable <33

here's the original ask if you wanted to read through it:

okay onto my long ramble of an answer HAHA

so this really caught my eye bc i remember seeing a pinterest post about 'the 3 loves' back when i was in hs and it's wild to me how my perspective on the manner has changed quite a bit. ofc everything here is my personal opinion so pls keep that in mind

i think first it's important to add a disclaimer about the concept itself. back when i first encountered this years ago it made so much sense to me but it also put some insecurity that i would some day or eventually have a relationship that ends in heartache. there are people i know now where this actually applies with the relationships they're in or have had but as a person who hasn't been in a relationship yet (we can roast me about this another day AJHDHD LMAO) i think it's important to know we aren't bound to this concept of 3 loves because everyone's experiences are different.

the question itself is soo good imo and in case you missed it the question asked which characters i think would fit each type of love.

i think this was asking for my own personal answer and tbh mine sounds like a cop out answer ajdhhd i feel bad but also it's just true. basically i picture all my haikyuu faves as the third love. B O R I N G /j HAHAHA i know i know but when i think of their love and my self ships with them it really is the third love. okay but just so i have an answer ushijima and kuroo are my tippy top boys so they'd definitely be the third kind of love (i love them equally so i have both as my answer ajdjdj - not even in a poly way i am just too soft to actually pick just one lol)

i think the concepts of the first and second loves are SUPER interesting to me personally when i think about writing and creating fics that can delve into what those two types of love are. like the second one is what i aim for when i write angst but that doesnt mean i truly think the character would be like that you know?? like i said a cop out answer ahh but even w the amount of angst i've written i really dont think i could personally put a name down lol i really said 'no heartbreak for meee 🤪🤪' HAHA i cant w myself

OKAY i will say that in regards to timeskip jobs i can have somewhat of an answer to who would be my first type of love (also pls ignore how out of order i spoke about each). but my friends and i talked about deal breakers and what we would be okay with in a relationship and i was just REALLY curious (and really in a brainrot) so i asked about if your partner worked in a funeral home. YEAH I WAS THINKING ABOUT MATSUKAWA. they all said hard no bc of a multitude of reasons. now before mattsun entered my life i also said a hard no for my own reasons bUT NOW I HAVE READ TOO MANY FICS AND ANALYSIS OF MATTSUN AND I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT IDK. so in terms of THAT i might put him in the first love category if i had to. dont get me wrong i'd still marry him and want to support his career and all that he's literally in my top 4 self ships BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT HIS JOB MAKES YOU HAVE THINKY THOUGHTS LMAO. ALSO HAHA funny story when i asked my friends there was girl who's into hq too so i was like "but matsukawa 🥺🥺" and she was like "babe i'm sorry but that's a 2d man" BAHAH CALLED ME OUT FR FR

so yeah those are my thoughts and kind-of-answers lol i think this is super interesting and it felt like i was just talking to yall like we were at a sleepover so i had fun HAHA. thank you for asking this lovely!! i hope your day/night is going well too and that you're taking care of yourself 💓💓 love youuuu tooooooo

(OH also here's the article link in case you wanted it but i think it was summarized well in the ask!!)

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

[creambunnie]

Mine

OC(y/n) X Hendery fluff cute

Enjoy~~~

you cursed under your breath as your tablemate,Mark, swapped places with crush!Hendery for your class work. Your teacher assigned Hendery to be your partner for your project. you tugged Mark's shirt , begging him to stay . Mark only pulled away softly and chuckled before whispering a little 'goodluck' as he walked over to his partner.

you quickly turned your gaze to your book when you see Hendery walking towards you. "Hi y/n!". Hendery greeted softly as he sat on Mark's chair. you nodded your head as you waited for your teacher's next instructions. yes. you are an awkward turtle that does not know how to act in front of people who you are not close to , especially your crush. Hendery looked at you and scratched his neck before clearing his throat. "are you okay?". he asked softly. you gulped before nodding your head slowly,eyes still on your teacher. you felt his gaze on you as he bit his lips. "are you really sure? you don't look like you are pleased to have me as your partner. you want me to request the teacher to change ?". Hendery babbled as he panicked . you groaned inwardly. now Hendery was just making you guilty for being awkward.

you finally turned towards him , your breath hitched at the handsome sight in front of you. "i--i'm fine alright. i'm just a bit sleepy.". you gave an excuse. Hendery's face brightened up as you looked at him. the two of you quickly faced the front when the teacher gave your assignment questions that was based on a literature text.

"why not you take the first part of the text and question and i take the other half? that way we can finish our work faster and you know, you can sleep hehehe". Hendery suggested and giggled. You tried your best not to squish his cheeks for being so cute. you nodded your head and buried your face in your book before you do anything to your cute crush.

You were attracted to Hendery when you saw him dorking around with his friends in the hallway. Hendery was so carefree, it was fun to see his crazy antics. you can never deny the fact that he was goodlooking but that was just a bonus . His personality was what made him adorable.

A few paragraphs into the text , you came across a part that you really didn't understand even after reading it repeatedly . you decided to ask for help from your partner. you put aside your feelings for Hendery and focus on your work . you tapped his arm gently and stayed strong as he faced you oh so charmingly.

"i-i don't understand this part. can you explain it to me?". you stuttered. Hendery nodded and smiled widely. He naturally wrapped his long arm around your chair as he leaned closer to you so that he could see the part you didn't understand. your plan to ignore your feelings for him was near to a failure. you felt his chest against your arm. your cheeks were definitely burning hot from his body warmth and the close distance. you see his lips move, explaining to you. but you didn't hear a thing he was saying, too distracted by his presence.

"do you get it now?". Hendery asked as he turned to you . you were caught of guard when you felt his warm mint breath on your cheeks. you leaned back in reflex but hit your back on Hendery's arm that was around your chair. you quickly leaned forward and met his handsome face again. you nodded but then shook your head. "i'm sorry i still don't really get it.". you apologised. you were ready to face an annoyed Hendery. but instead, you heard him chuckled as he patted your head. "it's okay, this part is very complicated. why not you complete the questions that you can first, and i will finish up the rest?". Hendery suggested again. you nodded and gave an okay sign. too overwhelmed to even speak a word to him now.

you tried doing your work but the silence in the classroom made you sleepy and so you dozed off while finishing your work .

you opened your eyes slowly when you felt your neck hurting from laying your head down on your table, only to be greeted by a cute sleeping face in front of you. you gasped softly when you saw Hendery's face right in front of you. When Hendery saw you fell asleep , he finished your part and his before laying his head down too. He didn't really plan to fall asleep too. He was just staring at you lovingly but your calm breathing soothed him and so he fell asleep too.

you didn't know what got into you but you stretced your hand out to remove his bangs that was covering his long lashes. a few seconds later,Hendery fidgeted and opened his eyes slowly. you panicked and quickly stood up fron your chair, screeching your chair in the process. Hendery jolted up in his seat as he was shocked from the sudden loud noise.

now the teacher and the whole class were looking at you and your partner.

"do you and your friend have any questions, y/n?". The teacher asked. you gulped and accidentally mumbled under your breath. "he is not a friend.". but little did you know , Hendery heard you.

"i'm sorry, what did you say?". the teacher asked again.

you gulped and shook your head. "nothing, i'm sorry for distracting the class.". the teacher nodded and continued grading your other assignments.

you sat down and closed your eyes, too embarrassed to look at Hendery now. you heard snickering behind you. you turned only to see Mark and his partner,Lucas, giggling at your moment. you rolled your eyes at Mark and showed him a killing sign. your interaction with Mark was cut off when Hendery tapped your shoulder.

"our work is finished. you can continue resting if you want to.". He told and gave a smile. but not as wide as his usual one. "but before that...". he continued. you stared at him, waiting for his next words. "what did you mean when you say i'm not your friend? am i just a classmate or am i more than a friend?".

your eyes widened when you heard his unexpected question. Hendery looked at you as he sincerely anticipated your reply. you gulped as you tried finding words to say. fortunately,you were saved by the bell.

"i-i gotta go quickly.". you said as you hurriedly grabbed your bag and ran to the exit right after the teacher dismissed the class.

you ran as fast as you can and grabbed your bestfriend's, Xiaojun, arm and dragged him to the school entrance.

"woah woah, why are you in a rush?". Xiaojun asked as he pulled you back after finding his balance.

"i gotta avoid someone and i want to avoid him immediately.". you replied.

Xiaojun chuckled and ruffled your hair. "my friend asked for help so i invited him to my house. he is walking back with us". Xiaojun explained.

you sighed and pouted. "friend? who? ". Xiaojun nodded his head towards a boy who walking towards the both of you. "yeah, Hendery. I'm sure you have classes with him.".

Both your eyes and Hendery's widened when you saw each other. Hendery smiled widely and waved at you. While you turned to Xiaojun quickly and pinched his arm. "I was running away from him!". you whispered. Xiaojun groaned in pain and pouted. "I'm sorry,I didn't know that!". You sighed in frustration . Your bestfriend didn't know about your crush on Hendery. Only Mark did because he caught you doodling a picture of Hendery on your notebook.

"hey y/n ! I didn't know you were friend with Xiaojun.". You only nodded and smiled. you walked on Xiaojun's right side while Hendery walked on the other .

you were in your own world when the boys' conversation attracted your attention.

"hey Xiaojun, does y/n has a boyfriend?". Xiaojun chuckled and wrapped his arm around your neck. "this awkward turtle? nope she doesn't,". you hit his arm and pushed him away as you pouted.

"why did you ask me? she is right here hahaha,". Xiaojun said.

Hendery chuckled and shook his head. He glanced at you for a moment before turning towards Xiaojun. "i'm too scared to ask her. i'm afraid she would ignore my question.". you felt bad hearing his response. he was definitely talking about earlier.

"i really like her,Xiaojun. she is so cute and dorky.". Hendery suddenly confessed. you were shocked and didn't know what to do. Xiaojun looked up quickly to Hendery and chuckled.

"can you tell her that for me Xiaojun?".

"but she heard you confessing earlier.". Xiaojun sais with a confused tone.

Hendery chuckled and patted Xiaojun's shoulder. "That was me telling you. I'm too shy to say it to y/n. ".

Xiaojun scrunched up his nose at his friend's words. Xiaojun took your hand in one hand and Hendery's in the other before putting the both of your hands together.

"why not the both of you settle this up first here,while i go back first,okay?". Xiaojun said as he quickly ran ,leaving the two of you awkwardly holding each other's hands.

Hendery held your hand tighter, making you look up to him. "you heard me earlier right?". He asked softly. you sighed and nodded. Hendery took a step closer , closing the distance between the both you. "so am i just a classmate or am i more than a friend?". he asked with his low voice.

you gulped as you stared at his lips. you flickered your eyes up to look into his sincere ones. "i like you too, Hendery.". you finally confessed.

His lips formed a smiled as he leaned forward to give you a sweet kiss on your soft lips.

Hendery pulled away after a few seconds to take some air. you were still in a daze at the sudden kiss.

"sorry, i can't hold myself back from kissing you. i held it back in the classroom earlier. you were so cute when you slept. you mumbled in your sleep about food.". Hendery said.

your eyes widened as you covered your face with your hands. "ahh that was embarrassing. ".

Hendery laughed and patted your head. You pouted as you pinched his cheeks. "you know your laugh is so cute? i held myself back earlier from squishing your cheeks.".

Hendery giggled and squeked at your comment.

"where is my awkward turlte? who are you and what did you to her?" . Hendery joked.

you rolled your eyes and pinched his side.

"YOUR turtle ? who said i am yours?". you teased.

Hendery took your hand into his and interwined your fingers together.

"when you responded to my kiss, that is basically saying that you are mine now.".

you chuckled at his sense and pecked his cheek.

"then you are mine too,". you said.

Hendery nodded and pecked your knuckle as the two of you went to Xiaojun's house together.

i know it may suck but i needed to write something about Hendery so here we goooo

[xx-eatmyheart-xx]

I'm a little late with this one but I kinda had a little block. Hope you like it! 🌸

@obsessedandthirsty @electroma89 @sanguinandoscrivo

-Abigail

4 - New Starts

The streets of Gotham were busy with hurried people every single day of the town's painful existence. No one seemed to care for anyone and that's why when those no ones were walking towards their destination, whether it was their working place or their own homes, their attention never cared to focus on other no ones like Arthur. It looked like he was invisible to every single person that passed near him and his swinging sign, nobody seemed to notice his cheerful dance in front of the music shop.

And well, nobody seemed to see the group of little vandals steal the bright yellow sign from him, nor did them give a single fuck when he was chasing the kids and screaming for others to stop them.

He hated that city.

He hated being invisible, he hated being a no one, he hated running after those stupid teens.

And now he was hating being beaten up by them, curled up on the ground, without any type of power over the situation.

While his vision was getting blurry, his thoughts were limpid: he was thinking of Y/n. Arthur had gladly found out that he was able to concentrate on her smile so hard that the pain would slowly fade away, as if it morphed into a simple background buzz. Surely a little annoying, but still a lot more bearable.

"Hey! HEY!"

Arthur couldn't understand if something had scared them away or if they were simply done toying with him, the image of her bright eyes was blocking out everything else from his mind. But as his sight was leisurely coming back with an imperceptible ring in his ears, he had started to line out a thin silhouette at the end of the dirt alley running toward him.

The apparently unreal phantom became a lot less imaginary when a hand reached down to Arthur and a pair of arms helped him sit on the ground, feather-like hands holding his sore shoulders.

"Oh lord, Arthur? Arthur can you hear me?"

The clown nodded, a little confused, and as he was gaining back his sight, the voice lulling his aching body seemed awfully familiar all of the sudden.

Was it really her?

His eyes finally managed to center on the person holding him: a worried look met his own and a tear escaped the beautiful irises that were staring at him.

Did he really run that way? Was he really that close to her shop?

Or was she just passing by?

Could he seriously have been so lucky?

"Arthur tell me something!"

She was so so worried.

When was the last time someone looked at him with true and pure concern?

He couldn't remember one.

He shook his head, still a little disoriented.

Please don't let it be an illusion.

Don't let her be an illusion.

"Y-Y/n I... I, them, I I..."

Words failed him as the anxiety and the stress of the fresh abuse were beginning to make their way to his brain. His throat was immediately dry, in a moment his lungs couldn't remember how to work properly, leaving the poor man agonizingly breathless.

Why was she there?

"Haha... Ha... Hahaha... Hahaha-"

A smack echoed through the alley as his own hand harshly hit his mouth in a hopeless attempt to suffocate the uncontrollable fit of laughter.

Y/n saw his body bending over and painfully starting to shake uncontrollably, his face had contorted into a grimace that screamed pain so loud she could feel it scratching her skin.

He wanted so bad for her to just run away, scared of his bizzarre and horrific behavior like everyone else.

Everything would've been so much easier.

Why was she still there? Why was she looking at him like that? Was she going to make fun of him? Was he really crying in front of her?

Was she-

"It's okay"

Her hug was firm and warm, arms grabbing his convulsing body and securing it against her own.

What?

----------------------

Arthur had to take a few minutes breathing with his face buried in Y/n's neck but at the end he had managed to calm down. It was a first time for him, he knew no one ever stroked his hair while he was having an episode, it all had felt so different and strange.

It had made him feel uncomfortably safe.

She hadn't cared for the tight grip he had on her, nor did she complain about the smudget makeup on her jacket. And now that he was sitting on her couch with a cup of hot tea in his hands, everything felt even more safely surreal.

It had started to look so impossible to him for her to be that kind that at the end of the story he was sure that was real: he couldn't be able to hallucinate someone being so gentle with him.

His mind couldn't do something like that.

It could picture a hug, a kiss, the two of them cuddling in his bed, even Y/N naked in his shower.

But that?

He could never have imagined it.

It was too much for him.

He didn't deserve that.

"How are you feeling Arthur?"

Still, she was standing in front of him with a beautiful smile on her delicate face and a bag of ice in her hands. Y/n sat right beside Arthur and put the bag on his shoulder, relieving the ache that a big bruise was giving him. Things like that remembered him how skinny, how powerless, fragile and useless his body was. His dark place was suffocating him once again and once again he was letting it take control.

"Y/n"

"Yes, Arthur?"

He had fell silent once the fit was eventually over, that was the first word after almost an hour since then.

"Earlier, in the alley... That was... I have..."

His voice trailed off, abandoning the sentence little by little.

Why was it so difficult with her? He didn't have his little card with him but he totally could explain his condition. Then why there was no way words would come out?

"A neurological conditon, I know"

He was unexpectedly confused one more time that day.

"How do you..."

"I... I knew a... person with a very similar condition"

"but we can do something about it, right, doctor?"

The screams were echoing through the white walls of the empty hallway, were Y/n could hear them loud and clear.

"I'm sorry to tell you that ma'am, but that's a neurological condition, we can't help that"

Another scream, another torturing cry of pain.

You could hear her head bashing against the wall as if you were in that same room.

"isn't there something we can try?"

"we tried everything"

Foggy memories were passing by in front of your eyes as the buried fear threatened to climb out of its grave.

Arthur could not replace her, being his friend wouldn't bring her back.

He could not redeem your mistakes, nothing could delete what had happened.

But you did still care, and yes, even if he did remember you of her, it was not because you wanted a second chance, but because you really saw something in him.

And whilst your brain was full of something you hadn't thought of for a long time, you could still see the now bare face of the clown. He was completely zoning out, all Arthur could focus on was how your apartment was just like he had imagined: lovely and welcoming, just like you.

The two of you had your minds in two completely different places even though you were looking at the same thing, your living room. But it was okay, it was pleasant, safe. You were just enjoying each other's company.

His sight was scanning your little open space, with the kitchen in a corner and the sofa where you two were sitting right in front of it, only the TV and the white furniture where it was standing dividing the two spaces. The carpets, the pictures on the wall, the color combinations and even the textures, everything there made him think about you, every little piece of that space remembered him of your ethereal being. Since your first encounter, the scrawny clown had discovered that contemplating the idea of you made his chest warm, almost as you had a calming effect on his anxiety.

Maybe he should've said something.

"Thanks again Y/n"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want"

Arthur tensed a little and squeezed the cup in his hands as he frantically answered, a gesture that you quickly registered. He was so nervous now, you had the urge to hug him tight but succeeded in restraining yourself from doing it.

Instead you stood up and walked up to the counter in you kitchen, took a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and went back to the couch to give it to Arthur.

"Call me whenever you want to"

He had lost count of how many times you had him confused that day. On the little piece of paper perfectly ripped there was noted a phone number, clearly yours.

But why would you do something like that? Was that a cruel joke?

"You're my friend, I just want to help... And get to know you a little better. So you can call me both when you're not feeling well and when you just want to talk"

"I... Am just confused. Why would you...?"

"Cause this city is horrible. Every single person in this city is horrible. And you're the only one that has showed a little interest in someone else rather than yourself. When you get to know someone new in this city the first thing they say is how rich or poor they are, it's all about money, all about them and them only. It's a never-ending herd of egoistic assholes. But when we had the chance to talk, when you were performing in my shop, you told me about your mother, your dreams and how happy makes you hearing kids singing with you. And that is so rare here in Gotham that I don't want to lose you in the crowd"

Wow.

Where you real though?

You had left him simply speechless. Over the years he had never ever heard someone talk about him like that, in all honesty he had never heard someone talk about someone else like that.

You were really special, weren't you?

He was able to see right through you smile. There was just a honest and kind interest in him, and although it had always seemed impossible for him that someone else could care for his well being, the expression on your face was melting each of his doubts away.

He had always been the one that cared for others, first being his mother, and how it seemed like someone wanted to take care of him.

His smile grew little by little, bringing a tint of almost invisible rose on the man's cheeks.

"Thank you, again"

There were no other words to be said, his expression was enough for you to understand his gratitude. After a minute of contemplating your handwriting, Arthur stood up and turned to face you.

"I'm afraid I have to go now"

"Sure, let me get you to the door"

Said door wasn't that far away, but it was still nice having you with him till there. Saying goodbye was kinda... Sad. Yeah, sad was the right word, for both of you. Arthur had to go back to his reality, once home he had to wash off the little residues of the makeup that were still staining his skin, get dinner ready for his mother, put her to bed and spend the night in his room, staring at ceiling, hoping morning would come soon. And then start all over again.

But what about you? What would you have to go back to?

He wanted to ask you so bad.

Well, maybe...

"Goodnight, Y/n"

"Goodnight, Arthur"