#i am so tired of being alive

[styr0-bb]

I never thought I would make it to eighteen. When I was in middle school I thought I wouldn't even last until high school. Maybe that's why my life feels so meaningless and I have no idea how to live anymore. It's because I was never even planning on making it here.

I'm so tired. I don't feel alive anymore and I don't think I have for a long time.

[herethebirdsjourneyends]

She finally blocked me

[diizzyondreams]

how many more times do I have to cry in random parking lots because I'm too emotionally unstable to drive myself home until I finally get my fucking shit together

[necroticghost]

im so fucking useless

[jemmo]

i don’t want to jump the gun, but i think hwang daseul might have just done it again. two episodes in to let free the curse of taekwondo and i am obsessed. more than obsessed. transfixed. this show feels special in a way hwang daseul’s touch only can give, and just using these two episodes to compare to her previous works, i love that i can already spot the continuity in the kinds of stories she tells, the messages she portrays and how she portrays them. she just knows how to let her characters exist in harmful and difficult places and show how their experiences affect them while also just showing them as normal human beings. it is so so easy to overdramatise these kinds of stories that have these difficult topics and have it be so surface level, but she has never done that. instead, she shows how those experiences shape a person and how they go about living in spite of them. all the way from where your eyes linger to now, she gives us characters that are wholly themselves and not just the traumas they have gone through and i just adore that. i can’t remember what i was talking about specifically, but i remember talking about this sentiment and how it actually helps to build empathy in an audience as opposed to just showing a difficult topic at the most surface level bc you think that makes it accessible and easier to understand and hence empathise with. i don’t think that ever works. it’s only when you do what hwang daseul does, when you give us characters we can get to know and fall in love with and care for that you help us to empathise with their experiences. it’s hard to understand the weight and the hardship of experiencing something traumatic, but when something bad happens to someone close to you, a family member or a friend, you understand and feel that pain astronomically more. that’s what hwang daseul manages to do. and more so, she makes you feel that while also seeing these people as people. you get to see them away from the hurt, you see them smile in moments of happiness and you see that too with people you’re close to, and you feel even more how special and important those moments of happiness are.

and that’s why, whenever hwang daseul is at the helm of something, i will be seated from start to end with endless boxes of tissues ready. i can’t wait to see what else this show has in store.

[napping-sapphic]

really want a girl to hide me in her ridiculously oversized sweatshirt so i can be safe from The Problems™️

[snovyda]

Why won't you answer any tells about the Azon Battalion and its reach within the Ukrainian Army? 🥺🥺🥺 afraid of your followers knowing your true beliefs? You fascist piece of shit.

I was dealing with some real life stuff, and I have to admit, your first two questions had me fooled into thinking that maybe they were asked in good faith, so I wanted to give a long and nuanced answer.

But I see you're a russian nazi supporter (LOL the levels of projecting you lot do by daring to call anyone else a fascist). And I also started my day with the sounds of missiles being intercepted nearby, so I'm really done. So short facts for you:

1. I have no faintest idea what "Azon battalion" is. If you want to have a gotcha on something, at least try to know what you are talking about.

2. If you meant "Azov battalion" (named after the Azov Sea, on the shores of which it was formed in the spring of 2014), then that one was doesn't exist, either, hasn't existed for about 9 years now. It was reorganised and regrouped multiple times, and many prominent members (some of whom were linked to right-wing groups) have left.

3. What is called "Azov" now is officially "12th assault brigade of the National Guard 'Azov'". It is operating in accordance to laws and, just like all the military, obeys the higher military command of the country and fulfills its tasks and orders. Their current command have spoken up multiple times about the condemnation of authoritarian fascist regimes (one of which they are actively fighting). It is also a BRIGADE, one of many, which is a few thousand people within the whole army of somewhere around a million. I haven't got the faintest idea what you are blabbering on about their "reach" or "influence" as if they are some sort of a "Hydra" spy network or even a political organization. Individually, there are all kinds of people in the army, of course, with all kinds of views, some good and some bad, but they are obliged to comply with laws and rules. You seem to have some cartoon level of thinking (plus a hefty amount of russian propaganda with its often photoshopped pictures and laughably stupid stories) on how a fucking army operates.

My views are very simple: I want the fascist invader to leave my country. I want to not be bombed or killed/raped/tortured/deported (all the things said fascist invader is doing here). I want the occupied territories, where the invaders are currently doing all those things, to be freed. I want to live in a free country with the human rights upheld. Currently the only thing that is defending me is the Ukrainian army. All of its brigades and battalions and regimens and what have you.

So from the bottom of my heart: go fuck yourself, you pro-nazi invader scum.

[depressiv]

ʷʰᵃᵗˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵖᵒⁱⁿᵗ

[synthshenanigans]

Soul sends letters/notes to Whole like Twilight does to Celestia

[koszihogyvagy]

Literally considering self bye bye at this very moment

[angellurgy2]

in the backs of my eyes, light does not reach. black and white, monochrome stars, inky null and blinding full.  others dream, and my thoughtlessness seeks.  though i cannot see, and though i cannot breathe  in every moment my eyes breach free- i dream. not for grandeur, not for fillment,  i dream of nothing but hope.  for days where i could, for the days i would dream.  sitting in the back seat. squalid radio turned to rage. looking at her shoulder’s locks, dreaming of the cage. taken to my first bar, shown my first rave not forgotten, not forsaken, the only love i will take to my grave. cigarettes and mud, alleys and grunge all i wanted was saving.  gone so far, seeded so deep, until it whittled into camaraderie. when the shows over, she’d take me home and leave me in her bed. that night i would be cherished, and that morning we'd be fed. i see their faces in my dreams, as every possibility, every tangle, every thread, every filament held together. like a bastion of memory, creating false to fill the empty. to grant hope to a greyscale null. * * starlight ash, the null of the void, the hopes of a begotten child. is there anything to hear, when the screams are of fear, or choking of brittle and tears? his hopes were so mild, his rage was unbridled, how could she be any different? feel her eyes shiver, feel her soul take, feel the ties of the poverished ingrate. your help cannot find it, your thoughts cannot find it, your hands cannot feel it, your heart cannot take it, your legs cannot shake it and your teeth cannot break it.  in every part of you is her no matter how hard you fight it has been the end of her not of her blight. only of her light.

[lonelycelsadpilled]

When you complain about getting sexual content on your social media app of choice people are so hostile like “hmph, your algorithm obviously chose it for a reason!!!!!” When no, it doesn’t matter who I block it doesn’t matter how much I click not interested and it doesn’t matter if I filter words. Porn slips by. There’ll always be another person I haven’t blocked yet. There’ll always be another word I haven’t filtered and sometimes people post their OnlyFans promotions under completely irrelevant tags, but if you say ‘hey, I actually don’t look up porn and it just finds me because every site is slowly becoming a breeding ground for porn boys’ there are no more witty responses it’s just ‘skill issue, that’s your fault’ I wish people weren’t just so fucking mean all the time.

[pcktknife]

.

[fortheloveofexy]

stepping away for a while. fics are on indefinite hiatus until i come back. queue will run for a while til it's out.

bye.

[ghost-draws-art]

Can I offer you some Clyde in these trying times?

Simplified the little guy just for these doodles :]

[mintytealfox]

If you're up for it, some Naibrick headcanons about Halloween?

GOSH yes yes yes YES -rubs hands together-

I can see Naib initially HATING the holiday, until Frederick comes home with a bag of candies and hands them off to Naib. For their first Halloween

Frederick: "I am going to go read my tarot cards, so I got this candy for you. You can hand them out to people who come to the door or just turn off all of the lights and enjoy the candy yourself~"

Naib: "? Are you saying this entire bag of candy is mine?" Frederick: "mhm" Naib: "I don't have to share?" Frederick: "Nope" Naib: "I don't have to socialize?" Frederick: "Nope" Naib: "huh, ......Thanks" Frederick: "Sure~ Can I read your fortune tonight?" Naib: "No, but I am willing to share this candy you got me" Frederick: "-sighs- fine"

-----------

Naib ending up in a candy coma for most of the evening, but then waking up in the middle of the night to go find Frederick who is up at his writing desk with a candle and just quietly tinking his tuning fork, leaned back in his chair comfortably.

Naib: "Having trouble tonight?" -Frederick flinching a little before quickly turning his swivel chair to face towards Naib with a surprised expression- "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in.." -he rubs his temple and shakes his head- "I'm fine.."

Naib: "........" Frederick: "maybe a little...trouble....with..." -gently taps at the side of his head as he looks off to the side-

Naib walks over and sits on the floor next to the chair Frederick is sitting in "you don't have to hide that stuff from me. I know my experience is different, but I understand hearing things...in my case remembering...things. I am not alone anymore because of you, so...share the load I guess..." -looks away a little embarrassed and offers his hand to Frederick, he will let him read 'his lines or whatever'-

-Frederick smiles a little and instead of attempting to read his palm, he just takes his hand in his and just holds it-

Naib blushing and refusing to look still "....thanks for not reading my palm..."

Frederick: "sure~"

------------

Then I can see following years Naib planning things so Frederick doesn't have to be miserable and alone with his thoughts on his favorite Tarot reading day.

Naib: "so, I am rationing out the candy so I don't pass out this time. Also" -pulls out loads of pumpkins and two knives- "we should carve these things"

Frederick: "why?"

Naib: "saw some kids doing it and thought I would be good at it"

Frederick trying and failing to hold back a laugh "Alright, sure, why not, lets carve the 20 pumpkins you bought~"

Naib: "Great, this way we can be occupied and you won't be alone like last time"

-Frederick just smiles as he hums quietly to himself as he thinks about a song he could carve into this first pumpkin-

-Naib is pleased-

But the seed pile would be horrible afterwards LOOL

Frederick: "how do we dry out these seeds so you can munch on them?" -looking over the pile of pumpkin guts-

Naib: "I don't know....hmm...can they be eaten raw?"

Frederick: "uhg, please don't test it"

---------------

Anyways, I think it would be a quiet holiday for them~ While everyone else is partying and 'trick-or-treating' they are just at home enjoying the time hiding from the rest of the world heh and Naib gets his own huge bag of candy that he doesn't have to share lol