#i am so sick of tagging things lmao
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Mom finally saw it, a hellish vision, my brother. O God, O God, she said.
My Brother at 3 A.M. by Natalie Diaz
JaxTober Day 2 - Beginnings
i have feelings about Jaxston and that poem man. anyways yo!! kinda vague ass interpretation of the prompt yippee!!!!!!!!
tbh i added this prompt in so i could do this one teehee :3c
ok explainin time!!!
HERE is the first doodle i did when i wanted to make Jaxston. i was inspired by someone's fnaf fanart and really liked the spiraling words and limited palette and went "Y'know I've really been wanting to make a Bill's vessel oc..."
Made on ms paint ! i think its fun bc he is no longer Bill's vessel at all and never is at this point in me creating his lore and stuff (idk yet im always so indecisive about fandom oc lore lmao) lol !
so i took the prompt as "Beginnings of the idea of the character" teehee
then when i was drawing it i was not in the mood to do any fullbodies bc i had JUST finished day 1, which took longer than i wanted so i just. kept it simple! aka i sketched the full body, hated it and then deleted the entire lower half of the body lmao
i didnt do any sketch past this lol, i really liked how it felt and just kinda kept it. i tried lineart, but i couldnt get it to fit the vibe the og sketch had so i decided not to ^_^
also i spent 3-4 hours writing the poem over and over and ove again for the spiral lmao
anyways i like yapping about my art.
this one is my lockscreen now on my phone, and it and day 1 are my monitor backgrounds (i have 2, my laptop (day 1) and my art tablet (day 2))
very proud of this one especially <3
now what the FRICK am i doing for day 3 what-
#my art#jaxstober#digital art#inktober#october art prompts#gravity falls#gravity falls oc#jaxston poppet#can i tag bill in this ?#bc its supposed to be him but...#ehh#bill cipher#fanart#gravity falls fanart#i am so sick of tagging things lmao#anyways im gonna try and have these finished so i can post 1 a day? so im gonna stay behind like. 4 days posting wise lol.#actually. might just make that my insta schedule and post them here when the fuck ever#yeah ok quing this for like. idk an hour from writing this tag lol#eye contact
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of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)
#len speaks#star wars#revenge of the sith#empire strikes back#the force awakens#not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️#i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish#times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it#for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭#i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my#current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches#as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the#spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless#i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all#i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats#it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!!#also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might#also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀#and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something#bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the#scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind#me to the dialogue lmfaooo
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It's been a year since I redrew that one Snorkmimi render...
So yeah I did it again ofc I would, why oh why wouldn't I? Tee hee silly meee
Attaching the 2023 redraw and og cause- uh- I donno, because yes, why not!!!
#This also means updated banner HECK YEAH 🔥🔥🔥#These redraws of mine are so different style-wise it's funny lmao#shoutout to Snorkmaiden one of my fav characters ever she's so perfect in every way my little baby#oh and update : since last year I still have NOT tasted “Snorkmaiden's dreamy chocolate” moomin coffee maybe one day I will or I'll do the#smart thing of making choco coffee myself without buying the maybe overpriced thing that just happens to have Snorkmay on it (I don't even#like sweet coffee 😭) buuut... you know... I could always just get it once and keep the package as a treasure! Cause I'm a hoarder. It might#or might not be a problem but I don't have time to think about that and work on it I have 100 possible uses for this old straw what if I#reeeaaallly need an old straw one day and I DON'T have it because I threw it away? Yeah! END OF THE WORLD!!!#Tbh hate to admit it but Snufkin's hazelnut coffee sounds the most inviting from all of the moomin flavoured choices to me I LOVE hazelnuts#I don't even know what licorice tastes like and I am NOT eating anything that is advertised with Stinky on the cover (jk Stinky's great)#I'm already sick of everything salted caramel flavoured it's just sugar n' salt with a different ribbon and blueberry... I'll pass. And like#I said before - I'm not a fan of sweet coffee. Sorry Snorkmaiden :[#okay enough of it no one reads allat time for real tags#snorkmaiden#snorkfröken#niiskuneiti#moomin#moomins#moomin books#Snork mimimimimimi Snork mimimimimimi
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little guy saga continues this time with the biggest little guys you've ever seen 🤖
#gekiranger#changeman#kakuranger#dairanger#sentai#mecha#power rangers#drawing the robots always feels so daunting i have a bad habit of getting lost in the sauce with all the details and parts and symmetry#but if i make them CUTE and SMALL i can throw accuracy out the window and actually have fun drawing them lmao#changerobo gun shoulders peak design every robot should have gun shoulders#favourite thing about showa sentai is how we only really get one robot so i end up getting VERY. ATTACHED. to the robot by the end#and boy howdy am i attached to changerobo#super kakure daishogun my BELOVED not a day goes by where i dont think about his little fwoggy legs i cannot get over his little fwoggy leg#i've always had a soft spot for geki tohja#he's agile and bouncy and bae always made the fights feel so hype ALSO. big kitty cat x3#ryuseioh theme goes so fucking hard and you KNOW how i am over polearms i dont think we need to discuss further#2024 art tag#anyone sick of my little guys yet??????? pls dont be sick of my little guys 🥺🥺🥺
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Update 2: the germaphobia didn't win bc he sneezed so hard he cried kinda and I can't not hug the people I like when there's tears so that's where we're at now lmao I'm literally so fucked but at least I'm not doing anything the next week 😭 checked him over since caution has been thrown to the wind, dude for sure has the flu but I'm hoping I can dodge it bc I got vaccinated so fingers crossed there. Ran out of tissues, so he's resorted to napkins and his jacket which isn't nearly as hot irl as it is in fic, but this is what it's come to 😔 also he's gone through three more masks and I'm lowkey scared he's gonna run out of those too 😭😭
#kinda snz again#how am i supposed to tag this actually#obs? is that what people call it??#idk#anyway#I'm not actually that worried about runn out of masks bc we have so fucking many and also i bring my own#i am worried about him getting me sick tho but it seems unavoidable at this point 😔#i feel so bad for him but I'm still disgusted ngl#dude has a hell of a fever like you hate to see it#had to go sit in the back where we put the patients so he could lay down for a bit and try to nap#bro literally sounds worse and worse as the hours go by it's fucking horrific#i fr feel like a mom rn patting this dude's back and getting him shit smh#like I'm the mom friend always so it tracks but doing vaguely medical things @ someone who has a higher scope than me is wild lmao#also for the record my partner isn't antivax he just planned on getting them closer to the end of the month#that's not working out so well for him now but it's not like he wasn't gonna get them at all so there's that at least lmao
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youtube
hai guys :3
#my video lol#my audio lol#vocaloid cover#synthv cover#synthesizer v cover#genbu#genbu synthv#evil food eater conchita#i am forcing everyone to look at this. look at my guy ehehehhkjnjkhgmlb AFTER TWO WHOLE ASS YEARS FINALLY#i couldve probably put more effort into this but ITS BEEN IN HERE FOR 2 YEARS i wanna be done w/ it already 😭#so regardless if it kinda sucks a little bit; its wayyy better than the covers i made like ~4? years ago when i was first starting out#was the iku drawing i posted before this foreshadowing?? not necessarily but its rly funny to think abt in hindsight#also rip genbu in a dress that i was gonna draw for this originally 😔✌️ i'd really love to draw more stuff for these covers i make#but it usually never comes out the way i want it to and i figure editing some sorta visualizer like this is better#than keeping some things trapped in my files for so long purely bc my extra ass wants a cool pv. some day maybe but not now#some sick fuck unsubscribed from me after i posted this BYE BITCH i dont miss you at all. live laugh love genbu in this house /j#im not the most obnoxious genbu stan i'd say but you WILL respect him in my house i do not tolerate genbu slander i love that man your hono#yes im extremely based bc he (and eleanor) were THE very first vsynths i ever actually fucked around w/ programwise#but WHATEVER!! idc he is so dear to me i do not regret buying his full version at all (it was impulsive)#the only synth i'd actually consider myself kinda good at tuning LMAO ik people hate how he sounds and have issues w/ him but not me...#these tags are too long girl stfu. anyways tldr; look at silly thang i made w/ my silly man#i love genbu and i love songs about cannibalism <3#Youtube
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anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me
#ok so this a lot of personal shit but I’m just gonna incredulously vent into the tags#like I don’t even know how to describe what 2023 in this job has been like lol#since April they’ve been insulting and scrutinising and scapegoating me over absolutely everything#they were really angling for just firing me outright for never measuring up to their constantly shifting and increasingly bizarre goalposts#and it got so personal man they kept insisting that it wasn’t but my god#then my dad gets sick and it suddenly becomes awkward for them to keep insulting and overworking me#so they switch to just ignoring me entirely so they don’t have to reckon w what me and my family are going through#like they never ask how he is or how things are going just every Friday they say hey do you reckon you can take more work on again?#and THEN I get a gut infection and suddenly im being guilt tripped for taking sick leave and pestered for evidence#it was giving like ‘we had to give you time off for your dad but now you’re taking the piss’#to the point I DID reach out to a third party at the company and was like ‘I’m sorry but why the fuck are they treating me like this’#and she was like ‘confidentially this is disgusting and I advise you to report it’#WHEN SUDDENLY I get back from sick leave and it’s like ‘the business is falling short so we have to make some redundancies….’#and now they’ve had to pay me a SUBSTANTIAL sum to fuck off!!! I think I win???#like I was so close to quitting but thank god I didn’t because now I’m getting a sweet deal to fuck off with no notice lmao#i leave end of the month#at first I was shocked like y’all really doing this now??? but suddenly I’m like. this is the best possible thing that could’ve happened#I spoke to that third party again and she was like ‘I am so happy for you’ like omfg it was a curveball but we’ll take it!!!#I’m fucking outta here and in due course I WILL be writing on glassdoor how fucked they are
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like heres the thing- at surface level, you can really be impressed with rices inclusivity. like in a world where things were not horrible, to have a prominent black vampire in merrick, have an intersex genderfluid character in blackwood farm, billions of bisexuals etc, it all seems really nice. and then you look more into it and find that the way she writes anyone who doesnt fit a very specific mold is written horribly. merrick is treated as a sex object and a temptress as early as.. age 14 or so. she is never given the pov during the entire book that is TITLED AFTER HER because its all from a white guy who's been objectifying her forever. petronia (the character in blackwood) is misgendered often and treated as inhuman often in a very jarring way. her way of "inclusivity" with sexuality often includes very large age gaps between adults and minors treated completely normally and never really unpacking the damage that does to the victims, as well as incestuous relationships that if anything are fetishized to the point where i am positive she had a kink for it. her idea of representation is so incredibly surface level and doesn't really seem to examine many viewpoints outside of her own, nor take any care to handle any topic with any sensitivity. do i need to bring up the gay disabled vampire who is the only disabled vampire ever and is greatly treated with mass amounts of ableism from the woman who supposedly cares about him (if we are to believe rice's narrative that every slave owner just lovesss their slaves and wants the best for them and its GOOD for them to be enslaved). we are supposed to believe an author with this bad of a track record actually cares?
#twist rambles#vc posting#antiblackness#transphobia#pedophillia mention#grooming mention#racism tw#ableism#incest mention#ask to tag#sorry this is like. a billion things but dear goddd this series. horrible#again please dont hestitate to get me to tag this because its a billon triggering things but hitting stuff irt pe.tronia is just. yeah. im#mad about everything here and this book has been a culmination of everything horrible.#like genuinely idk its wild to me that the fanbase does not discuss this more but the later books r lesser read ig#anyways yeah it all fucking sucks. and i just. im so sick of it.#and also tbqh she did kind of cultivate a group of people who loved her books and wouldnt question half of the shit she pulled here. sorry#for my 3 30 am rant about this but its just... its so vile and im not sure how people can not see her as INCREDIBLY racist and many other#things. like i wish these books were good. but these issues have been there since the start lmao.
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So to recap the last 11 days I've:
- caught covid
- hyperfixated on superbat
- read about a million words of superbat fanfic
- watched my first DC movie (Injustice)
- somehow gotten even sicker
- finally gotten back to watching season four of Gunsmoke
- came up with no less than three separate superbat fic ideas that I cannot write because I'm still too sick
- gone to the ER because y'know covid (I'm fine btw, I promise! I'm back home now)
- came up with a Gunsmoke/DCU crossover fic that is so far beyond my current capabilities I swear on the karking Force
- started reading my first comic books (Injustice: Gods Among Us)
- written a superbat fansong because of said Gunsmoke/DCU crossover fic
- I'm still sick btw
- girl help?
#vent post#not actually a vent lmao but thats the tag#like im def not complaining here#im still 100% having the time of my life#but i did *not* expect superb@t to be the thing i wrote my first fansong about ????#like ???????#girl help??????????#who am i and what have i done with myself#well needless to say my covid experience has been WILD#so#shout out to covid for getting me into superb@t???#(cause thats a *totally* hinged thing to say lmao)#(also i promise i really am okay btw(#(the ER determined im okay for the most part but i need to keep an eye out for long covid now)#(cause like)#(its been 11 days and im still this sick and still testing positive)#(but ngl im 100% taking advantage of the situation to be a fangirl)#(so its a win win)
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If I had a nickel for every time I doodled sheena and raine cuddling while one (or both) of them are sleepy I’d have three nickels which isn’t a lot but-
(Written version of the dialogue in the first doodle under the ‘read more’ in case anyone can’t read my handwriting lol)
From left to right:
Sheena: “Can we please go to bed??” Raine: Yes, yes. We can go to bed.”
#tales of symphonia#sheena fujibayashi#raine sage#sheena/raine#raine/sheena#sheraine#sheeraine#my art#i'm out here covering my bases#maybe one day i'll finally figure out the tag for them#sheena and raine should kiss#also i got sick so i didn't post anything for a while but i'm feeling good now so i can share my messy doodles again#yes that's the phineas and ferb quote LOL#don't ask me why i am prone to drawing my ships cuddling/sleeping but i am LMAO#i also love the idea that raine stays up stupid late doing research things because she's a nerd like that#its a trying time to be her gf LOL
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My ass is in need of a desperate thing to do bc I finished big o and I feel empty despite REALLY LIKING IT it’s just because my ass hardly has any motivation to write or draw all I can do is just play video games even if I’m not even touching new ones I keep replaying the same comfort games but my main options on my to watch list are:
-reasonable length of 24 episodes but it’s apparently super fucking depressing and everyone advises I don’t watch it despite it being in my reader for awhile (casshern sins)
-even more reasonable length of 12 episodes and is more toku stuff but I’ve seen no one talk about it (guyver)
-the most reasonable length of 7 episodes- but all of them are nearly a hour so how the fuck does that keep my attention span (giant robo)
-not at all reasonable length for me because it’s 50 episodes so I should wait until I’ve watched more 20 ep anime and see I can get through a 40 ep anime but I think about it anyways (Astro boy/cyborg 009, ignore how this is two)
I should probably just make a poll about this but my tumblr polls don’t get a lot of traction and Twitter I’m scared if I end up chickening out bc I’ve done this with- a lot of polls which is also reasonable I don’t wanna make one 💀 might just ask friend opinion but if anyone knows any of these feel free to drop something in the comments.
#meg text#I’m not gonna be bothered to tag all of them when this is a list thing#but am I the definition of indecisive? You bet your fucking ass#also I would’ve added tetsujin here but imma wait until after I watch giant robo#given I know it’s the same creator + Imagawa did a take of it that’s 24 eps#even though the one I saw of where he looks like a super robot and is cel animation looks sick as fuck#but I can always watch multiple iterations of a show (I did that with getter lmao)#I could also theoretically do that with casshern bc there’s a even shorter show#but I heard from my bf it’s not good rip#also for the last two it’s their 2000s versions specifically if anyone asks#if I end up being so indecisive I may like- either pick up something I drop or fucking read#but I’m not counting on the latter bc I literally hate reading seen in other post even if I need to get over it
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*puts a photo of me in between two random photos i took of the sky today, not because they go together whatsoever but simply so any poor soul that happens to scroll across this post won’t be jumpscared by one giant image of me taking up their entire dash* :)
also yes those are the Everything Stays shoes that i wear far too often and i thought about Moon and flustered my damn self when i was putting them on today and if you want to know why i thought of him specifically… well, you’re just gonna have to read Ch. 4 of ES when i post it on Thursday and you’ll find out 😊
#Seven.txt#my face#i love how i use the my face tag as my catch-all selfie tag and then. you can hardly even see my face in the pics#anyways. *wears my daycare fit to my root canal appointment bc i am a fucking clown for letting my tooth get this bad* 🙃#also it’s just very comfortable and i like it. but yeah! 4th dentist appt. out of 7 is done and dusted!!!#yes it’s 7 now instead of 6 because of course it is. of course it is.#it’s fine tho. i think today was the worst of it and it was overall a very fine time! i once again had no need for the sickening amounts#of anxiety that kicked my ass for the last two days prior to the appointment. as soon as i got settled in the chair that weird haze#of Calm washed over me and everything went well! but does my anxiety care about that? does it learn? no! never!#so i’m sure i’ll be sick with fear again the next three times as well but oh well. what can i do but suffer thru it#anyways if u wanna know what burning trees smell like and hear a disconcerting sizzling noise coming from ur mouth just get a root canal#it’s fun it’s a really great sensory experience (/i am Lying it is Not a fun sensory experience. take care of ur teeth and avoid the pain)#it’s lighthearted though it’s really not That bad. like i could tolerate it totally fine but it’s also not. fun. it’s just. Unplesant#anyways on another note i think i’m developing a crush on my dentist’s assistant lmao#like not Really but like also that’s not a complete joke. like. do u ever meet someone and just feel like you’d be friends#like it’s not something you’ll ever act on but you can’t ignore the feeling regardless?#it’s wild bc they look So fucking similar to someone i used to have a brief weird thing going with#like they both have such distinct eyes/facial features that i’ve never really seen on a lot of other people#and they compliment my hair and i compliment their tattoos and they tell me about the latest movies they’ve watched while i’m laying there#in the dentist chair for 50 minutes waiting for the dentist to finish with an unexpected drop-in patient#and they open the blinds to see what the deal is with the screaming old people outside the windows and they crack jokes and ramble about#their travel plans and they struggle to mix the temporary filling paste into the right consistency and they apologize for their handwriting#on the appointment cards they give me and i tell them it’s good handwriting and i mean it and Oh No i’m romanticizing my dentist visits.#aren’t i. lmao ANYWAYS i’m that dumbass that falls for every single person that is ever nice to me at all ever it’s fine i’m normal#the dentist delay was nbd btw i’m one of those freaks that actually enjoys waiting and also it was a bit of an emergency#for this mennonite mom and her son with an abscessed tooth so like who could be mad abt that#i’m never making another afternoon appt. again tho cause holy shit they get busy. i was in the waiting room for 30mins alone#1hr appt. turned into a 2.5hr appt. :) but it’s fine i just read fanfic on my phone to pass the time. and you’d think it was a dca fic#based on my clothes but no it was BG3 Astarion x Reader Hurt/Comfort bc i’ve latched onto a new blorbo this week and can’t get enough#so i’m obsessed with this traumatized vampire elf now but that’s a story for a different post’s tags
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Your anger and sadness are so fucking justified. Stealing someone's oc is ridiculous. There's NO need to do that! You don't even need that much creativity to make your own, and if you're really stuck (like I get sometimes) just look towards canon characters or blogs dedicated to help building ocs. What's worse is tumblr's blocking system because, unless you block them on anon, it simply blocks their blog. They can log out and still view your blog! God I'm so sorry that this happened.
thank you 😭😭 i'm like so just horrifically angry right now that idk if i'm overreacting or if i was seeing things that weren't there, but no, the more i look and the more i match up the timeline of posts, it becomes extremely apparent to me that their oc is a copy of diana, and that really really hurts. and yes, i've cried a lot about it, because i talk about her so often and how much she means to me and how much just creative energy she gave me this year and the fact that i even write consistently now, so it hurts. i put a lot into her, so it's just really unfair, and like you said, blocking people on here is like hardly even effective
#asks.#anonymous#thank you for like validating my anger because i often feel a lot of guilt with my reactions and um idk like i feel like i am not allowed#to get angry in the first place because of like imposter syndrome and all that nonsense. but i just kept seeing things from that oc's story#and not just backstory but little facts or what were throw away comments and it just... everything. i could connect to diana. and the#colour scheme is similar too and the heights and the timeline and the little things about like ex-husband. working at nest. close to the#birkins. saw al as an annoyance at the start lmao like there's so much i could connect. and now seeing that their oc also injected themself#with a virus on a whim which i've talked about many times with diana doing and that he got very overprotective and worried afterwards with#it. like. all these things in isolation. fine. whatever. but when they all add up... it's ridiculous. like i'm just so hurt because i#constantly talk about how special diana is to me and how special they both are to me and i don't know what to do because i don't feel the#need to reach out and like accuse directly but it's like. they get away with that. and my ideas. and my character who has been around since#feb. i made her on valentine's day. i'm not even joking. so. i didn't post about her until early march. well i did but that's the earliest#in her tags because i delete posts a lot. went and looked at my oc blog and no there are still things from feb. but on here the earliest is#march. i'm just not doing great with it all i suppose. especially because i had something happen last week that made me really upset and i#was just getting back into like okay i'll post on here more often. and then i notice this and idk i'm rambling but i just feel really sick#like the realisation sunk in and i felt sick to my stomach so it hurts#but um thank you for saying all of this like it does mean a lot to me to know that my reaction is justified so thank you
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#today on: Allie Liveblogs Her Parents’ Divorce:#two and a half fucking hour long phone call with my dad about how he thinks my mom is the problem#in the INSANE dynamic they have going on with his 24 year old lesbian employee who is LIVING WITH THEMMMMMMM#and him doing his signature I Am Just A Reasonable Man Perceiving The Situation Objectively shtick#us both mouthing I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!! at the phone#ohhhhhh he wanted us to say she should just get over her frustration and then there wouldn’t be a problem#and she shouldn’t be frustrated in the first place because the problems Aren’t Even Legitimate Problems Because They Could Be Worse#and like. my mom has been bringing up divorce to us since 2019 and he has expressed that he wants to improve the marriage recently#and they uh. got married due to a miscommunication and are entirely incompatible LOL like i’ve been Trying but this call made me feel like…#Its So Over My Dudes#but apparently he thinks their marriage is NOT on thin ice it’s a 9/10#revised to ‘idk MAYBE it’s an 8/10’ when he told us he doesn’t think. in 34 years. they have ever had a two sided conversation…#they Have Never Once Had A Conversation by his recounting. thats not true but it IS an insane thing to say STEVE#ohhhhhh he makes me mad ohhhhh i’ve been in my Dad Anger era for a couple months and he brought it to the SURFACE tonight babey!!!!!!!!!#ohhhhhhhh he does not respect his wife he does not try to understand her he does not think of her as a real person#and i mean. she’s nuts and takes her feelings out on everyone around her!!! she is only just now seeking to manage her adhd#but she tries so hard for him and he’s just. full of shit and i’m sick of him. ok cutting myself off but this has been:#ALHPD#which will be the tag now ig if anyone wants to mute LOL#ohhhhhhhhhh this has dealt me so much psychic damage i have so much evil energy now lmao#ohhhhhh 🔪🔪🔪👨🏻🪚🪚🪚#🔨🔨🔨🔨#🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈#ok that’s all
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if u have a special interest in brainwashing i think you would simply explode if u watched karmaland (IN A GOOD WAY IN A GOOD WAY) (there’s a crap ton of plot points connected to brainwashing and the loss of memory, it’s really interesting and the way it ties into how the characters interact and the overarching plot line makes me go insane) (bonus post i found a couple months ago about the theme of memory in it: https://shikai-the-storyteller.tumblr.com/post/699057572266885120 )
HIHI I'm so sorry about getting to this late Oooo I really love that! (Checked out the post you sent) and from what I've just heard about Karmaland around it sounds very interesting! I gotta love me some good old fasioned loss of memory but everlastingly connected to some events vibe, because erasing the whole of a person is HARD. I cannot speak on a series I haven't watched, but that post is very interesting and those sort of plots have my whole heart. The main thing is that I really only speak enough spanish to have survived high school, and I still almost failed. I wanna get better at it but learning languages is just not something that comes to me with ease. Along with that, I listen to QSMP a lot in the background, and I couldn't do that if I needed to read subtitles constantly lol. There's something also to be said about how to be involved in the main qsmp plot rn you generally need to speak english but I feel like that is a victim of circomstance along with other things - People have noted the lack of Hispanic streamers online and how the French also seem disconnected from the main lore. Without going on too long of a rant I actually enjoy that I missed some content and lore that the Brazlians have and discovered it through the community, lol. Which is a long winded rant to say "I feel lucky that I am in the primary audience for the qsmp lore and I really don't feel like I could keep up with it if it wasn't in a language I spoke" Maybe sometime in the future, I'd love to check it out, or really if there were english plot summaries about I'm sure they'd be amazing, that's absolutley my sort of plot. If you have any reccomendations I'd love that!
I hope this was coherent lmao I have spent the last while feeling quite sick but sometime. Sometime I will ramble on the role that memory seems to play in the QSMP. sometime.
#qsmp#oh gosh I don't know what all to tag this with#duudeee I wish I spoke more languages#so so bad#I really hope we see more plot from the other communities. I really enjoy whenever things happen with them#So many of them seem so cooolll dude#Ik a lot of them left with the egg event being around. I've stated my feelings on the eggs before. I just hope it all ends up okay#and the harassment dies down#I'm NOT used to being in big fandoms with a lot of drama constantly tbh. I've said before this isn't really my community. I very much#feel like an outsider sometimes lol#I also really just wanted to learn more spanish. genuinley I have been trying to watch more in other languages.#But I often have to rely on the translator#And without that in a series that's much larger and not in a language I am fluent in it just. yaknow a bit intimidating#Even if that genuinley sounds like content I would obsess over for actual years LMAO#I think I am too sick to have a coherent thought I'm so sorry if this is an overwhelming answer I love talking about things and getting ask#Please send more thoughts if you have them
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#part two omg <333#u can tell i originally was gonna tweet this and then it spiralled out of control to the point it got too long for tumblr tags. anyway#sometimes i just think about things and i get sooo mad lmao . i knew i was trans probably since i was like 11#meanwhile was so fucked up about this i just ignored it and slowly let it eat me alive for years and years until i hit my brink .#makes me so mad how the few like 'tolerant' and 'accepting' people around here act where theyre like#oh you can be that way but just ignore it <3 dont act on it <3' . you people would rather me go back to#being a suicidal 12 year old instead of actually existing and being happy. you people who know shit all about what i go through#its insanely funny to me too like compared to a large amount of people i am like extremely religious . i have#so much of the quran mf MEMORIZED. A SOLID CHUNK OF THIS ENTIRE BOOK. MEMORIZED#I CAN RECITE THE VERSES FROM IT IN PROPER FORM. i know more than my own dad does and yet.#everyone around me who isnt this at all is like oh yes we know sooo much about everything and this is#soooo gross and disgusting and perverted and sick and evil right maryam. yeah it sure fucking is besties <3#i can be everyones token poster child of having Envious amounts of knowledge and a role model for every future hafidha .#and yet you all only like me because you have to and youd all hate me if you knew anything about me#if you read all this my bad i am just crazy and angry and insane#i will go back to normal later i just need to be insane for a minute lollll#sometimes im like 'why am i so angry. why do i have ptsd' and then i remember how everyone around me is#vent#part two !!!!! wao <333
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