#i am so scared of things that havent even happened

[colorsinautumn]

.

[beautifel]

i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

[melto]

something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone

[mrfoox]

The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers

[synonymouslyyours]

.

[ironmanstan]

awful: it turns out every annoying person saying using planners helps you and having structure is good for you was right

[loutrem]

.

[nexus-nebulae]

i amb. Dissociating

[some-random-fandom-chick]

.

[roaringheat]

ANOTHER THING is I am absolutely obsessed with the way the gang's relationships with each other evolve so naturally throughout the game whether for better or for worse. I've only just started chapter 4 but seeing them grow and have problems or resolve them over a long period of time is so impressive... literally no other game compares to that level of effort and writing

[sillverstreets]

ok but diving in and researching about fp really shocked me like i mean ofc i have doubts but um yeah idk how to feel about this

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

.

[homo-house]

If teachers really wanted me to turn in assignments they wouldn't make them group ones. Seriously

[mrfoox]

Still... Realizing that I have been doing okay for almost two months without major downhills mentally and im a bit scared

[despairots]

━━━━━━━━ in another another dimension.

1610! miles morales x gn! spiderman! reader x 42! miles morales. angst, and sorta fluff?? also spoilers if u havent seen the movie yet, shit writing since i havent wrote in a long time 👎

where miles morales was your boyfriend and died in your dimension ‘cause you couldn’t save him in time after he was pushed off a building. where earth 1610 & earth 42, you’re dead ‘cause you got pushed off a building.

you couldn’t save him in time. by the time you saw his figure disappear from the ledge of the building, you were already frozen in spot, seeing as if the love of your life was gonna die and it was because of you.

even though you caught him by the chest with one of your webs, the recoil already impacted his head and back, causing him to die. you couldn’t apologize to him after the argument you two had.

“miles… i am so sorry. please wake up. wake the fuck up, miles! this isn’t funny. please tell me i’m dreaming, please tell me you’ll wake me up from a nightmare like before. please, i can’t lose you too…”

he always would wake you up and comfort you after a nightmare, he wouldn’t do that anymore. he would always whisper sweet things in your ear that always made you blush, he wouldn’t do that anymore.

nothing that was only exchanged between the two of you wouldn’t happen anymore, nothing. it was meaningless to you, you missed him. it was obvious to everyone.

your parents, friends, miles’s parents, classmates, teachers, schoolmates. they all knew how much you cherished eachother, how much you couldn’t keep living without eachother.

when he needed you the most, you weren’t there. you weren’t able to save him in time. maybe you could this time, saving him from a hundred other spider people.

EARLIER.

“this your friend, gwen?” a familiar voice was heard behind you making you quickly turn around, your spider sense going off. “miles?” “[name]?” the two of you spoke at the same time, jaw dropped and eyes widened.

“this was the surprise you meant, gwen.” all guilt that you thought you buried long time ago was to much to handle when you saw him, the same beauty that he had when you he died in your universe.

you couldn’t help but hug him tightly, face buried into his chest, he was always taller then you. miles jumped a little bit before hugging you back, his face buried on top of your hair.

you were restraining yourself for crying, small sniffles came from you as you could see gwen lightly smiling at the two of you. embarrassment was the only thing that made you pull away.

“sorry! i— um, have a miles morales in my dimension b - but he died.” you stumbled upon your words, blush on your cheek as miles blinked at you. “it’s fine. i have a you in my dimension but they — uh, died.”

miles nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. it was awkward between the two of you, completely embarrassed that you hugged eachother even though you technically knew eachother too.

when you think about it, maybe you could save him this time… from millions of spider people and being thrown to his earth with him.

EARTH ???.

miles told you to wait in the living to talk to his mother, brooklyn was totally wrecked on his earth. spiderman was gone for just two days or maybe more and brooklyn looked like hell.

it didn’t feel right, you felt uneasy. it felt to surreal, to unrealistic in your opinion. you turned invisible when you saw mrs. morales, miles’ mother, walk out of his room, laughing.

he tried speaking to her before getting cut off by glitching, scaring you. ‘he’s in the wrong dimension.’ miles and you shared a look, signifying the look of terror.

‘the spider that bit him… it wasn’t from his dimension. miguel was right… he was never meant to be spiderman.’ the door creaked open, revealing the man who thought had died in miles’ dimension.

the two chattered, his uncle taking him to the roof as miles looked at you and gestured to follow him. it was shocking, to say the least, watching the two look at a mural.

your eyes widened at the art, instead of miles’ uncle dead, it was his dad and you. until then, you realized, you were always going to die in ever dimension but yours.

no matter how many times, no matter how many dimensions, the universes were working together to stop you and miles from every getting together.

that’s why miles died in yours, you dying in miles, and you dying in this world too. the universes never wanted you two to get together, maybe it was because of the saying:

in every other universe, gwen stacy falls for spiderman.

you were too lost in thought that you didn’t realize miles was knocked out until your spider senses tingled, reflexes making you dodged the incoming punch.

your hood (from your black sweater that you wore over your suit) flipped off, revealing the tight frown and scowl on your face. “what the f— miles…” you whispered the last part, seeing him on the floor.

something was poked into your neck, injecting you with something and forced you to sleep. losing authority over your body, you fell to the ground, unbothered by it.

your body didn’t touch the ground, that’s the thing, someone caught you in time. they cradled you softly in their arms, watching your eyes blink in and out if reality before completely closing.

aaron scoffed at his nephew, “that’s not the [name] you knew, they ain’t yours.” his nephew mumbled a yes, watching you sleep with the beauty you still had when you died.

your fingers were twitching, a small habit that you always had when sleeping. he missed you, he missed you so damn much.

and when he saw your face when your hood flipped over, he felt like he got a second chance to be with you.

but when he looked over at the other miles that was over his uncle’s shoulder, he felt hatred. he didn’t want to risk you to his other counterpart, he didn’t want to lose you, again.

and that was the same feeling 1610 miles felt, he didn’t want to lose you again. and for sure, you felt that way too.

[inthestarsme]

Solar return Observations pt. 2

‼️Don't repost my Observations without consent and mentioning my page‼️

Hello girliieees how are you? I thought i'd give you a new post, as i am very much procrastinating. Honestly, i dont really have much to say soo... lets just get started!

Befor i start: these are just some random things i observe from people with these placements. They might fit you but they dont have to. I wsnt to emphasize this as i tend to also talk about darker stuff, and i dont want people to get scared. Everything i'm writing could totally not apply to you, so please take everything woth a grain of salt!

Now lets go!

Venus conjunct 10th house: For some reason, people in general perceive you to be more attractive and desireable. If you also have some good placements in your sr 5th or 7th house or the ruler of your sr 7th house is taurus or libra, you might even attract more love interests than usual.

Uranus in the 7th house: I know i've talked about my Uranus conjunct Jupiter in the 7th house in relation to sudden, unexpected things happening in your love life, which it definately means, but it can also make your love life more unconventional, in whatever way this applies to your life. For me, it was finding out i'm bi and dating the same gender for the first time in my life. Of course it isn't weird or anything like that, but me finding this out was completely unexpected, because i was always someone who was very keen on saying "i'm straight, but i'm a big ally", so completely going the opposite way was unconventional for me, although it felt exactly the same as dating the opposite gender. In the end it didn't work out, but i found out something major about myself, and am still figuring shit out (i'm honestly not 100 percent sure abouz my sexuality, but its a step in the right direction letting this part of myself free).

12th house stellium: No matter why or how (you can see this through other placements in your chart), but definately a year where you might struggle with your mental health (please get yourself professional help if needed), BUT at the same time it could be a year, where you might go on a transcontinental trip, as the 12th house also relates to international travel.

Saturn in the 6th house: For some reason, your everyday work and routine might feel very harsh and restricting and you might really struggle because of it. Please, even though sometimes its just life, always try to still respect your mental health and dont drive yourself into a burnout. But generally, when you're going through this, taking into account your mental health can be a good way to balance this out.

Pluto in the 3rd house: I can only talk about my own experience, but this solar return year i've had this placement and i've definately had my struggle with friends and have already lost an entire friend group. But as Pluto also relates to tramsformation through heavier experiences, i am really hoping i lost these friends to make space for new and better friends and for myself to be a better friend through learning from those experiences. I've also been sensing that the people i am surrounded with might not necessarily be the kind of people i would want as my friends, not because they are bad people but because characterwise we are very different. So maybe it could also just change the way you see your friendships.

North node in the 6th house: If you have this in your sr, a very important thing for you this year is to get into physical fitness, whatever this means to you, and generally taking more care of your body/physical health. So if you havent started yet, i would recommend trying it! Or just more generally, getring healthier routines.

Mercury conjunct Mars in the 10th house: You might be known for speaking more harshly to others this year.

Neptune in Pisces: I know i've talked about this placement before because i dont like this placement, and i need to emphasize this. No matter where you have it, it can mean you experience some kind of hurt due to some these factors

- some kind of illusion making you to not be able to see the reality

- you or other people having mental health stuggles

- you could go into a mental health spiral because of what you experience, where you might not be able to see everything as it is

- you might even be the one putting illusions on others

In the best case it can mean having a very spiritual experience. But i truly advice you, if you are struggeling mentally in some way, please get yourself professional help. Its hard but you can get through it!

Okay soo, i think this is it for now. Thank you so much for reading and see you next time. Lots of love and byeee <3