#and then i was studying but i think im getting burnt out bc i cant fucking concentrate bc im so fucking stupid and i

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

.

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

luxiem x reader || as fathers

a/n : YALL LIKE MY LUXIEM HCS MORE THAN MY OTHER ONES SO HERE U GO LMAO 😭 ill feed u guys some more luxiem content before mysta graduates [sobs louder]

SHU YAMINO

TYPICAL ASIAN DAD

but minus the yelling and stuff

hes just pretty damn strict but like he loves you all the same

if you get an A+ in maths, GOOD JOB, HE'LL TREAT YOU TO ICE CREAM [and maybe a magic show WWWW]

if you get a D-, he'll probably say something along the lines of : " try harder kiddo! you can get a higher mark next time! do you want me to help you study? "

he will definitely show up at all of your events and stuff like that to cheer you on

b a n a n a

omg he would accidentally get banned from ur school games bc he keeps helping you with his witchcraft stuff

LUCA KANESHIRO

OMG HES THE DAD THAT ALL YOUR CLASSMATES LOVE

hes the type to bring like the BEST FOOD during those potlucks ur school has

will panic if you bring math homework to him for help AJSHD

if he cant go to ur school events, HE WILL SO FIND A WAY TO GO, EVEN IF IT WAS JUST FOR A MOMENT

ur little sibling would deadass be a dog.

like no shit, this man would want a dog

and that dog is ur sibling

he and his mafia men would be the ones to raise you [FUCKING BONUS POINTS IF ONE OF HIS MEN IS A WOMAN AND SHE IS UR MOTHER FIGURE]

" oh, don't worry kid, you'll get it next time!! if you're ever feeling down, just know your dad thinks that you're pog! "

you dont know how to tell him that saying pog as a [however old he is] man is a little cringe, but you love him for it (IN A FAMILIAL WAY)

IKE EVELAND

a very chill dad when it comes to homework and grades

unless it was english

if you get a low score in english

THIS MANS IS RUTHLESS. HE WILL GET YOU TO READ. A LOT.

but if you get tired of it, he'll let it go

i feel like he'd be the parent who IS your teacher at school

oh boy, you should dread first day if he's your english teacher

" class, i'd like you all to know, im only fucking one of your mothers. " [all jokes LMAO he wouldnt embarrass you like that..... or would he?]

if you get a low score in any subjects or like if you flunk a test, he'll hug you and say:

" don't cry, you've made me proud already. i love you kiddo, and none of those test marks will change that. just tell me if you ever need help okay? i'm always happy to help you with those. "

MYSTA RIAS

BRO OMG HES THAT ONE DAD WITH INSANE SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE

SOMEHOW ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER??

the most laidback out of all the luxiem guys about homework

doesn't mind if you flunk it, as long as you did your hardest, it's a pass in his book

he cant physically help you with homework

its a british debuff /j

like he would stare at the pythagorean theorem and go 'uhm....'

HE WOULD HELP YOU WITH ALL YOUR FASHION DILEMMAS

there to listen to all the GODDAMN TEA!! like how dare jessica cheat on james like that with ryan??

dude is like the communal dad if any of ur friends dont have a father figure, he'll be there for them too

" oh you flunked your math test? it's alright!! you'll get it next time. they give you too much tests nowadays you guys are all probably burnt out... how about we watch a movie? your mind needs to destress. "

VOX AKUMA

SHAWTY HAS FLIRTED WITH YOUR TEACHERS MORE THAN ONCE

LIKE YOU GOTTA STOP HIM, HIS RIZZ IS TOO MUCH

also that one dad for some reason everyone likes

hes like pretty strict, but its because he wants the best for you

WOULD GET BANNED FROM TRYING TO GO TO UR SCHOOL GAMES BC HE GETS SO PISSED LMAO

" WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THEY GET A FOUL?? THEY DIDNT EVEN HIT THE OTHER KID??? "

hes the demon you and ur friends would try to summon at sleepovers

" kid, please, i love you and all, but dad needs to fucking rest. please stop summoning me. "

AND YOUR FRIENDS WOULD SCREAM WWWW

anyways, hes pretty damn smart so hes gotchu covered when it comes to homework help

unless it was history.

history pisses the fuck out of this ancient man.

he will rant about how incorrect the history books are and you'll get nowhere with homework

" oh, darling, it's alright. i'm not disappointed in you and i won't be when it comes to homework. i get it, sometimes it's hard and you don't understand it, but that's when you ask for help, alright? i won't ever shame you for asking me for help. "

a/n : i hope yall r fed this took me 30 minutes to shit out and clean up also i think its obvious whos my favourite in luxiem LMAOO

[chososcamgirl]

HEHYEHYHEYE SIGMA ALPHA IYAAA DAILYY CHECK INN‼️‼️🔥 I HOPE UR VERY SKIBIDI TODAYYYYY

ITS 10PM HERE AND I WAS ON A GRINDDDDD I HAVE LIKE A MILLION TESTS AND QUIZZES COMING UP BUT I LOWK FEEL BURNT OUT FROM HW, MY SCHOLARSHIP COMP, WORK N STUFF SO ILL PROB STUDY TMRWWW..

ITS SJAP SUNDAYYY AYYAYAYYSDYYAYAYSYA SO EXCITEDDD I NEEDED THIS AFTER A LONGGGG DAY SINCE I FEEL SO BURNT OUTTTTT BUT ITS WORTH IT SINCE I GOT MY SHIT DONE ‼️🔥🐺

UGHHH WOKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTER AND STARTED FROTHING AT THE MOUTHHH SO HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPYER 7🙏🙏‼️🔥😼😼

TRIDANT BLOWING UP⁉️⁉️😣😣 SIGHHH IG WE CANT GATEKEEP INUMAKI ANYMORE 💔💔💔 SIGHHHH… it’s okay.. I’ll hide him in my attic so no one else can see him 😈😈… BUTTTTTT THEM BLOWING UP WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN.. THEYRE GETTING THAT BAG FSS 🗣️🗣️

@/megumism’s comment on not wanting tridant to blow up is SOOO REALLL LITERALLY ME WHEN I SEE MY FAV SMALL ARTIST BECOMING TIKTOKIFIED AND THEN EVERYONE STARTS CLAMIMG TO BE A DAY 1 💔💔💔

THE DRUNK TEXTTINGGG OH MY LORDDD MEGUMIS SUCH A RED FLaG I HATEEEE HIM FOR THAT.. JUST CUS HES HOT DOESNT MEAN HE GETS AN EXCUSE TO BE A BITCH.. ONLY WE CAN DO THAT ☹️😡🔥 AND THE BRIDAL SHOWERRRRR ARGHHHH I FEAR WE FUMBLED THE BAG SOOO HARD BECAUSE THE SOON TO BE MARRIED GIRL COULD OF MOVED TO LA WITH THAT FUCKING MONEY I CANT BELIEVE WE LET HER CHOOSE LOVE OVER MONEYY‼️‼️‼️ESPECIALLY IN THIS ECONOMYYY CUS SHE WOULD OF BEEN SETTTT FOR LIFEEEEEEE IF I WASNT FOR US 💔💔 TELL HER WERE SORRYYYY 😣😣

MEGUMIS EGOTISTICAL ASS IS ANNOYING ME SOO BAD THAT I HAD TO STOP READING AND WATCH AN EDIT OF HIM EVERY 5 SECONDS SO I WOULDNT THROW UP BC OF HOW MUCH OF A MISOGYNIST HE IS… IYA HOW THE FUCKKK ARE YOU GONNA GIVE HIM A REDEMPTION⁉️⁉️ ATPP UR DIGGGINGGGGG A GRAVE FOR HIM CUS I SEE NO WAY OUT OF HIS NASTY ASS ACTIONS LIKE GET UPPP YN‼️‼️😣😣

SUKUNA SAYING HE MISSED USSSS OH MY GODDDDSDDMNSNS?!?!?! THE WILLLLPOWERRR WE HAVE TO NOT TEXT HIM BACK IS JUST FUCKING INSANE CUS… ngl… I would fold INSTANTLY… 🤤😫

I WOULDNT MIND GAINING A FEW STDs FOR TOGE PLEASEE JUST LET ME HITTT OMFGGG PLEASEEEEEE MEEEEEE AUFBENENENNEEN PLEASEEEEEEEEE 😫😫😫😫

IF SJAP YN DONT WANT TOGEE ILL GLADLY TAKE HIM IN WITH OPEEENNN ARMS AND LEGS 🤤🤤 heh.. get behind me kitten… the worlds not safe for us alphas… they don’t understand us.. no one will match sjap toges FREAK BETTER THAN ME SOO PLEASEEEE ALL IM ASKING IS FOR ONE CHANCEEE ILL GO BALD FOR HIMMMM USKWNENENE HES SO FINNEEEEEE 🤤😫🤭 I NEED HIM SO BAD HE MATCHES MY ALPHA FREAK SO WELL… also I need to know.. does he have his bowl cut or the cut from the movie 👀😫🤤😍😍 IN SJAP CUS IM IMAGINING HIM WITH HIS CUT IN JJK0 (UGHHH I LOVE THAT CUT SOO BADDDD 🤤🤤)

Mechamaru appearance when?? (AND WILL WE SEE MECHAMIWA CONTENT 🙏🙏👀👀)

UGHHH THIS CHAPTER WASS SOOO FILLING IM FUCKING STUFFEDDDDD THANK YOU IYA SIGMA POO POO I LOVE U 😘 CANT WAIT FOR TODAYS XHAPTER TO BEEE OUTTT IM GIGGLING JUST THINKING ABT ITTT HEHEHEBEHEHEJEJEHHE 🤭🤭🤭

OKKKK SUMMING IT UP NOWWWWW… I SLEEP A LOTTTT CUS IM ALWAYS JUST SLEEPING.. IDK I CANT FUNCTION NORMALLY WITHOUT ATLEASTTT 15 HOURS OF SLEEP 💤😣🙏 WHICH TIES IN TO MY QOTD ANSWERRRRR‼️ I WOULD LIKE TO CONTROL TIMEEE SINCE THENN I COULD SLEEP FOR HOWEVER LONG I WANT 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ AND PLUS MORE TIME TO ROT AND I LOVEEEE PROCRASTINATION SOO IT WOULD BE SO HELPFUL TO MY HORRIBLE HABITS ‼️🙏🔥🐺🐺😈😈

OKOKOKOK AOTD OF THE DAYYYY🔥‼️ COFFEE OR TEA AND TELL ME WHAT TYPEEE (EX: BLACK TEA, EARL TEA, AMERICANO, FRAPPUCCINO, ETC.)

BYEEE ILYYYY IYAAA CANT WAIT FOR WHEN THE CHAPTER WILL BE POSTEDSDSNSNNSNS‼️🙏🐺🔥😈

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!🐺🐺

DAILY CHECK IN TIME WHOOP WHOOP!!🙌🙌 i am feeling VERY skibidi today thank you very much🙂‍↕️ I HOPE YOU ARE TOO🫵

aw sorry to hear that alpha :( don’t worry! burn out is normal so u should always remember to take breaks in between and don’t overdo it! your health is ur first priority <3 also manifesting AMAZING grades on the tests trust🙂‍↕️ me and pack got you‼️🫡🔥 SJAP SUNDAY IS A GO!!! now we wait *taps foot* 6 days… just imagine sjap weekend as a reward for the school week AND NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO GO SO INSANE TRUST IM BITING MY NAILS RN…

THOUGHT TIME‼️🐺 LMFAO the gatekeeping is so real i support you 100% YESS me w literally everyone these days i have a love hate relarelationship with tiktok💔 city girls were down 3000 when we talked the bride out of marriage on GOD that’s the worst thing ever… another fallen soldier chat😓😓😓 it’s okay we will rise like the phoenix and prevail.. somehow…

LMFAO THE EDIT WATCHING IM CRYING UR SO REAL ALPHA. don’t worry tho.. this is only the beginning. TRUST THE PROCESS AND LET ME COOK👩‍🍳👩‍🍳 no same like i would fold and retract for sukuna im sorry. anything for him.🙏🙏 YOU AND TOGE IM CRYING ALSO YES IN SJAP HE DOES HAVE JJK0 CUT IM SORRY BUT HE LOOKS SM BETTER IM THE MOVIE. idk what second year toge hair was awn💔 but it was NOT it. mechamiwa appearance in the later chapters trust 🙂‍↕️🫵

THANK YEW ALPHA!! UR COMPLIMENTS FILL ME WITH LOVE <33 OOO GOOD SUPER POWER THAT WOULD B MY THIRD CHOICE ACTUALLY BC I LOVE SLEEPING‼️ i could sleep for 3 consecutive days if i could… but alas… i would get my ass beat unfortunately…

AOTD‼️ coffee DEFINITELY and i’m a sucker for an iced latte or a mocha😭 basically anything sweet bc i do have a sweet tooth :3 WBY!!🫵🔥🫡 ILY ALPHA <3

[moonjxsung]

ALSKDKDJF OKAYYY !!! I’m glad it’s not a bother !!! I overthink sometimes alskdkjf

urgh so I am having A WEEK :( I hope it’s okay I rant a bit … alslkskdj

helurf okay so after midterms last week, I’ve been trying to like relax and give myself time to rest but IVE HAD SO MANY ASSIGNMENTS :((( and I’m so tired and burnt out and stressed cause I need to start studying for finals and ahhhhhh alsksjjdjf :(

okay now for some more fun updates!! i had fun at uni yesterday!! we had a super fun soil science lab we got to go into soil pits on the farm our campus has and analyze soil (ph, diagnostic horizons, colour, structure, texture etc) !! It was a lot of fun I’m gonna miss the class and my prof :( (it was my last lab)

another fun thing is its art market week at my uni so time to drop a ton of money on prints, stickers and crocheted animals !!! :D

AND okay so I made it into a special like abroad research kinda program/course in like that’s usually only available to upper years students but somehow I made it in alskkskdjdj . Anyways, we get to go to South Africa from like May 14-June 9 to do research and stuff in the field!!! and like IM SO EXCITED??? So anyways, the 19 students that also made it in (it’s a highly competitive program to get into) we had our second group meet up plus our prof (who taught my favourite class by far last term) yesterday and it was a lot of fun and we got free dinner which was super super yum and I can’t believe I’m actually going ahhhhh

and then I went to a friends house for dinner (yes, dinner again) which was fun we like catch up at least once a month and yeah

Anyways sorry for the truck load of information about my life weh

HOW IS YOUR LIFE STAR!!! I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOU!! (With whatever ur feeling comfy sharing 💗)

🌱

UGH I always forget how close together exam season is WHYYYY ARE UR FINALS ALREADY RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER….. 💔💔 I believe in you angel manifesting all the best for you frfr you’re smart I know you got this 🫶🫶🫶🫶

AHHHH UR UNI LAB SOUNDED SO FUN I love labs where you just get to go outside and do stuff in nature it’s fr so healing 👼 I took a geology course in college where we got to go to this creek near my school and like test the ph balance of the water and it was so much fun being outside instead of cooped up in the lecture hall fr one of the best labs we ever did. AND the art market this week???? RAHHH HAVE SO MUCH FUN we used to have something similar at my uni and I would drop SO much on stickers not even joking my laptop is covered in them still :’)

ALSO OH MY GOD??? TO THE STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM?????? STOP THAT SOUNDS SO FIXKIFNT FUNNNNN IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU WYAHWJDNRJ CONGRATS ON GETTING IN BB ‼️‼️ I didn’t have to do study abroad when I was in college bc covid hit but I can’t wait to hear all about yours and live vicariously thru ur updates AHHHH and it’s coming up so soon !! WOWOWOWOW HAVE THE BEST TIME ILY ILY THATS SO FUN

My day was honestly vvvvv boring but it was productive! I had work and then I had a shit ton of laundry to do but I was tired as fuck and I have cramps bc my period started today so I got coffee first to wake me up and then after cleaning the apartment I caught up on Ateez vlogs and now I’m simultaneously writing and watching Zelda gameplay 👼 I think my emotions are like ten times worse rn because of my period so I’m just taking it easy but I have a huge party to go to this weekend and a lot of my friends are gonna be there so I need to get my shit together and stop being sad bc I don’t want to bring the mood down ☹️ why do I always have a party in the same week I feel like shit LOL the last time I had one my situationship and I got into a huge fight and my sister had to be checking on me like every 5 minutes bc I was borderline crying the whole night it was so embarrassing 😭 (I am so tired of crying over this same girl oh my god)

ANYWAYS I LOVE U ANGEL IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND I CANT WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT UR STUDY ABROAD TRIP RAHHH THATS SO EXCITING CONGRATS AGAIN ILY ILY 🩷💖💞💘💕💓👼

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

probably not a super hot take, but feeling too old to achieve things isnt usually what holds people back, resources are.

it's good that we generally encourage people of all ages to strive for their goals. "you can graduate at any age" is often what i see offered to people talking about going to higher education later than the traditional 18 - 22. but age isnt a huge barrier. i am 29. most of my peers dont even realise i am 29, they think im their age. when they find out, they dont care. i am not denied anything due to my age.

BUT

i am more tired and burnt out more than the average student. i work full time and attend university full time. i have to figure out my finances. i am fortunate i can access grants and scholarships.

and often THIS is the barrier. it isnt age. it's time and finances. i dont have the same 24 hours as the 20 year olds i attend with, generally speaking. most of them arent working 45+ hour weeks in addition to a 12 - 18 hour course load in STEM. most of them arent experiencing chronic burn out from both class and working to support themselves alone. my 24 hours are work and class, not class and maybe social life balance. and, most of them have a support system if they need it. i dont. if i need a textbook/online homework system and i cant afford it, thats it. i cant ask mom or dad for the $100. if i cant come up with tuition, or my grants and scholarships dont get renewed, thats it. i have no fallback. many people in older age brackets are the same. and many people in older age brackets also cant access scholarships or grants, i just happened to luck out.

and when i am burnt out and have to pick between going to class or having a day off, i have to opt to keep pushing myself so my grades dont suffer. i dont get the luxury of taking many mental health days because i usually am picking between class or going to work, not class or spending the day at home or catching up on assignments. my work is neverending. i work, i go to class, i come home to my house and my bills and my chores, and i study. and then i sleep.

and thats not to say there arent younger demographics in my boat. there are, absolutely, and i commend them bc it's so hard to compete with your peers who have everything they need to succeed in front of them while you worry if you can afford parking for class or a meal, if you can pick up an extra shift, and if you do can you still carve out time for studies.

thats the barrier. it isnt age. no one cares youre 29 or 52 in college. but resources are pretty limited the older you get, and it's harder to get what you need without the adequate support system of a 20 something from a good home.

we DONT all have the same 24 hours.

[star-girl69]

Pt2.

YOU HEADCANON FOR MEEE🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭. Please have mercy on my heart, I actually can't. Like omg I started honestly doing cartwheels when I read that.

You have amazing intuition though. I am English but I am also part something else a bit more exotic I like to think. I play basketball and volleyball a lot so I have different sessions of each every other week if that makes sense. I'm trying to pick which one to drop. So I train for those and then gym in my own time. I also have instrumental lessons which I like and then I work in the evenings.

- ❤️

(YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY DAAAAAY🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭cue the heart palpitations fr fr. Tbh today wasn't that interesting. The most interesting thing that happened was that I had a nosebleed for like 30 minutes during my biology class 😭😭😭😭I fr thought I was dying and I nearly fell down the stairs and burnt my toast(I'm a good cook istgd))

(I really really love pandas)

(I missed you tho beautiful tell me about yourrrrrr day??? How are you feeling?? ❤️❤️❤️)

(You are one of a kind amazing ❤️)

HAHAHAH CARTWHEELS 🤭🤭🤭

YES!!!!!! IM SO SMART!!!!! oh so you’re one of them insane people 😭😭 you’re so much better then me i don’t play a sport and i only work 2 days a week don’t go to the gym why would i ever do that

but i tell myself it’s ok bc i have hip and ankle problems and i take two ap’s and have like an hour and a half to two hours of hw everynight so like basically who cares… i’m smart not athletic so ill be finnneeeeee

what instrument do you play?? i used to play the clarinet like in middle school but then we got a new teacher and i hated him HAHA so i dropped it

(YEEESSSS I WANNA HEAR ABT YOUR DAY??? why is everyone getting like really bad nosebleeds 😭 like ARE YOU OKAY…..? WHAT IS WRONG 😭😭😭 don’t fall down the stairs 💔💔 and also i’m really doubting if you’re a good cook bc how do you BURN TOAST LIKE IT JUST POPS OUT OF THE TOASTER OR AM I DUMB IM PROBABLY DUMB BUT IDK I DONT GET IT)

(i missed you toooooo baby the rest of my day yesterday was ok, not much to say tbh… my dad made burgers for dinner but like idk they were very weird 😭😭 i didn’t like them. ok and as i’m saying this i’m realizing that might not have been beef patties and they might have been my brother’s venison so that’s fun. i might throw up i love deer wtf 😭😭😭 like this might make me spiral i cant)

(and my day so far is ok i’m in study hall rn so i’m GOOD but my algebra teacher gave us like a crap ton of work so i will not be having a fun day today 😭 but that is a problem for later 🤞🤞)

(you make me so happy i’m always giggling 🤭🤭)

[4uru]

(Tw: Vent post)

I went thru some of my worst depressive, suicidal, self hating episodes during quarentine. Teenage angst fuelled to the max by gender dysphoria, internalized homophobia and transphobia. In 2020 baby me wrote several letters addressed to future me, telling me to kill myself . I will be 16 soon, those letters were addressed to me. I know if anyone reading this who is an adult feels like this is just a kid complaning. And ur not wrong.

This is probably not even thing i will ever face in my life. And that thought scares me.

I was a different, very miserable, angry and tiny person in quarentine, i was brimming with hate and sadness, i had no friends. I was a kid who was stuck in a house 24/7 with my (suddenly) religious mother who i stupidly came out to, my parents werent even a little bit supportive back then, they thought i was fetishizing being LGBTQ my dad thought i wanted to be trans and gay to be different. (Lets not even open that can of worms)

What im trying to say is, it took alot of work to get where i am this year. I tried hard "loving myself", i worked hard to look at myself and not see a complete fucking monster. I tried very hard to believe in a future.

But all my work is down the drain bc of this fucking system. I dont want a future anymore. I am fucking done hearing critism from the generation who had adequate study plans. Who didnt have the life drained out of them everyday. My parents talk so brazenly about my generation about our studies like its the same. 30 years ago the Curriculum was in their favor, now its evil and twisted and i dont want to go through wjth it.

I legit fantasize suicide just to avoid dealing with it. Everytime i go to school or coaching all i hear are different voices telling me how much hard work i have to do to pass SSC, then get into a good college, then HSC, then University etc etc etc.

I tried to look forward to a future, i forced myself to imagine a life for myself, i swear i tried. I just dont want to anymore, i told myself i want to be an animator, or just work in an artistic field,

I dont want a future anymore, i cant keep going on, its fucking exhausting, i dont want anything from my life. I have nothing to look forward to, everytime i try its always an exam to prove to people that im worthy of existing. Every fucking time.

It never ends, it wont ever end, i will just be wrung out and burnt out of everything i ever cared about. I cant go on a day without being berated and if i do, i cant go on with out feeling guilty for using my free time to be at peace. They hardwired my brain to hate myself then they yell at me for it

I dont know if ppl know how easy its for me to be desensitized to death, i have no qualms about it, i didnt literally since the day i turned 8. I have read ppl saying ppl sho commit suicide are cowards, and i remember feeling worse about it. Bc somewhere deep down i do feel like a fucking coward and a quitter.

But i genuinly dont care anymore, i cant keep doing this, i dont think i am strong enough. My friends talk about how i have a clear cut future with my art and stuff. But holy shit no i dont, i dont think i will live to see 18. I dont want to live to see 18. I dont want to keep doing this.

Sometimes i wish i was religious so i would have someone to pray to, to believe in, but i dont. I never did, i could never believe in someone. I wish i did rn bc maybe that can be my salvation. But its not.

I just cant anymore with this shit, yaar. I feel like i am going to shatter like glass if i even move.

I dont think ppl know how much their tiny jabs build up on my skin to become a large gaping wound that i just cant stitch back up.

I sometimes think that, if i do it, if i do kill myself, they are just going to blame it on social media and other teenage angst bullshit.

I dont want to live like this, i dont want to prove my existence. Kill me, i will accept it, just let me go.

It hurts so much to go on with life knowing my inevitable failure. And even if i dont fail, if i somehow by some miracle get to college, the cycle will start again, in every step of life theres some new competition i have to win to have the right to exist in society.

I dont know whats the point anymore its all the same shit in repeat. "OH but life has so much to offer" no thank you, i will take the receit and see myself out. If you say its about ppl? Family? Friends? Desi parents of queer children are hardly the point of life, and friends? What friends? The person who came to school and told me that she dreamt of dieing and was disappointed when she woke up?.

The people who to my face said they tolarate my existence?

"It doesn't matter what you think" it matters when i spend 5 days a week 6 hours a day with these sons of bitches.

I just fucking cant anymore, bro.

And i dont think i deserve to die, i dont hate myself that much anymore. But its so exhausting. Before i used to look for painless deaths, just quite and painless. Now i dont even care about that, make it quick, get me out of here, i dont care how much blood and gore i will turn into just let me leave.

[torsamors]

[mikkock]

i stopped making new ocs cuz i kno none will ever reach the level of these bitches

may start to post whatever the heck i want again have gay art of varying qualities <3

[dramatical]

.

[kvgehiras]

can i request sleepover hcs with trickstar (separate)? i feel like they would be so much fun to be with... the new shuffle unit really woke up my inner trickstarP 🥺 (hope it's not too much to request all 😭)

HELLO !!! nd no it's ok !!!! it took me some time bcs i didnt . rlly know how to start out hokuto's part BUT IT'S DONE NOW !!!!!!! (also i hope u meant it in a setting where y/n nd the members r in a relationship (separately ofc) bcs that's how i wrote it so ye) hope yall like it ~

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

AKEHOSHI SUBARU

• he probably brought up the idea while u were accompanying him on a walk w daikichi

• u were talking abt how u brought these glow-in-the-dark stickers nd they remind u of him

• "it would b so nice if u could see it omg!!! but .... it's the best when u watch it right before u go to sleep.....nd ur probably busy :(("

• "????? LETS HAVE A SLEEPOVER THEN!!!!!!! W ALL THE SPARKLE SPARKLE STARS!!!! AAAAA IT WOULD LOOK SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!"

• nd ur just like :0 bcs u cant believe this dumbass . he has a live to perform in day after tomorrow but he's gonna have a sleepover........what

• "dw abt my live !!!!!!! ill tell hokke nd the others that i can't come today but i'll practice extra hard tomorrow !! they'll understand dw (*・∀-)☆"

• they didn't.....actually...but he cut the call on hokuto before they could get him to attend so uh-

• "anyways!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^"

• yall bring daikichi over too. it's not even a question daikichi is literally yalls child at this point but anyways

• he probably looks for board games for a good hour or two while u get some food for daikichi nd then get some food for subaru nd urself

• (he doesn't find it)

• u peek at the doorframe bcs for a while u keep feeling like someone has been watching u for a while now nd then boom . u see the other baby (read : subaru . main baby is daikichi, ofc!) pouting at u

• u laugh nd wipe ur hands on ur apron before ruffling his hair nd he goes

• "i can't find the board games :((((( y/n :(((((("

• surprise guessing game : whos the actual puppy? akehoshi subaru or his actual dog daikichi??????? it remains a mystery

• anyways u help him look for them nd after u hand him over the thing u get food for the both of u nd force him to eat atleast a bite bcs this bitch is too busy trying to win against u in snakes & ladders 😭😭😭

• "subaru.....pls....the food is getting cold....."

• "no i Know im gonna win!!! the sparkly stars r my good luck!!!! i know it!!!!!!"

• he.... doesn't win .....for the 5th time....

• so manz just gives up, noms all the sandwiches visible (aka his portion bcs u alrdy finished urs an hour ago JDJDKDN)

• nd then sleeps, still sulking

• yes it ends up in u guys cuddling under the glowy stars

• nd subaru thinks that mayb losing against u isn't that bad after all (´꒳`)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

HIDAKA HOKUTO

• unlike subaru, this was actually a planned one

• u both had homework to do, u especially had a test tomorrow nd subaru just ditched the rest of trickstar to go hang out w someone else instead of their practice so ┐(´∀｀)┌

• hokuto appears at ur doorstep around 6:30pm, as discussed earlier

• "right on time!!!!!! so true hokke (´∀`)ｂ"

• he chuckles a lil as he closes the door behind him nd takes off his shoes

• "(y/n) u keep sounding like that masked pervert whenever u say smthg like that pls"

• u laugh it off nd then get him to the living room, where u two get ur books out nd then start studying

• hokuto asks if uve studied any material before to which u quietly reply no nd hokuto just goes

• "oh, that's ok… i think it will be good practice for me too if i taught u all this, right? so let's start, hm?"

• HOKKEEEEEEE ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

• sasuga hokuto kyun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• anyways !! u guys (finally) start studying now!

• except…..except ur alrdy falling asleep……

• hokuto doesn't even realise this till he looks over to his shoulder bcs wow it suddenly feels heavy! wonder why!

• nd then boom ur face is an inch away from his

• poor hokuto his face gets all red and his ears r burning nd when he realises that ur sleeping he just . freezes

• doesnt even move fucking muscle

• mentally too manz just checks out NDNDNDJDJKS

• BUT IN HIS DEFENCE WHEN HE CAME TO UR PLACE HE DIDNY EXPECT THIS!!!!!!! HE EXPECTED TO STUDY ND THEN GO HOME YK!!!!!!

• poor guy he can feel how hard his heart is beating nd hes praying that u dont hear it nd wake up

• thank goodness ur a heavy sleeper……..nothing, nd i mean not even if boulder is dropped on u, can wake u up

• sasuga…..y/n……?

• anyways !!!!!

• u wake up at like . 2 or 3 am nd u find hokuto just closing his eyes shut, cheeks still bright red nd. WHYS HE SO CLOSE-

• o u fell asleep on his shoulder lol-

• U FELL ASLEEP?????

• u jerk back up nd apologise a million times for falling asleep even tho hes so desperately trying to teach u nd hokuto just tries to hard to explain that it's ok !!!!!!! (bcs he actually kinda . liked it . aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA)

• after much thought u guys just decided to go to sleep bcs ur too tired anyways so it's not like u would retain this info anyways

• nd it was a good decision bcs after waking up in the morning nd going thru his notes instead u actually aced the test !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so true y/n !!!!!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

YUUKI MAKOTO

• this one….. it's like . neither planned or accidental?????

• it just happened????? yk?????

• he called u suddenly in the evening bcs he went to this new game shop that opened near his place right

• nd hes just like !!!!!!! y/n!!!!!!! uve got to check this game out !!!!!!

• nd so u go to his place to play the game nd u see that he just has everything prepared so u get the snacks that u got for both of u on a plate nd get some juice from his fridge nd start playing the game

• nd the game is rlly good !!!!!

• from the graphics to the boss music, makoto rlly knows ur taste

• (he blushes nd thanks u all flustered too hehe)

• nd after switching consoles nd playing the game for over 3 hrs, yes it's a pretty huge game, u finally reach the boss battle!!!!

• nd this . this scares u

• uve seen ppl on the net say that this battle will absolutely End u . periodt

• u never rlly understood why but holy shit u now do

• uve been trying to win against this bitch for AN HOUR at this point . why cant he just die

• poor makoto is just cheering u on in the bg bcs u refuse to let him help

• "y/n….(;´Д`)...... it's ok bb…...i'll finish this up for u…. it's like 4am we have class tomorrow- wait no it's actually today-"

• "makoto No u always help me in games let me finally win smthg for u !!!!!!"

• nd u point at his forehead nd poke it several times as u make ur point

• "ill win for u !!!!! ok!!!!! this stupid boss can never be as strong as my love for u !!!!!! (*｀へ´*) 彡3"

• nd hes just . looking at u all worried but he . he trusts u . so he lets u do it urself

• yes u lost even more times nd cried a lil out of frustration

• so at one point, instead of directly helping u, he just starts giving u directions nd at this point ur too tired nd exhausted to say anything so u just follow him

• (u also have ur head on his lap nd hes combing thru ur hair nd looking down at u like :') lmao what a lovebird)

• but when u actually beat the boss, finally, nd the screen says "win!" in huge yellow letters ur eyes go O.O

• nd u jump out of his lap, while he's still spaced out, combing ur hair nd hug him v tightly

• nd hes like ????? huh ???? wh wh wh ?????????

• nd u explain that u finally won nd u guys just rejoice lol

• then immediately fall asleep. both of u

• (u guys were late to school next day . sigh)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ISARA MAO

• unlike the other three, this man was actually dragged to ur place

• why? u might ask

• WELL THIS DUMB RAT IS BURNT OUT !!!!!! HE DOES TOO MUCH WORK ND HE DOESNT REALISE IT !!!!!!!!!!

• so after u guys r done w school, nd when u check in w his fam too that hes gonna stay at ur place (nd also that he has almost no work today, ofc) u drag him to an arcade nd hes like ???

• "today is a rest day!!!!!! so no work at all!!!!!!"

• u said this while pouting a bit so mao mostly thought u were joking

• but even after going to the arcade, going to the shopping mall nd getting snacks, going to the fast food place u guys visit alot nd getting food from there, his brain doesnt catch on that ur indeed not joking

• until it's been 3 hours at ur place, ur having the dinner that u guys had bought from the fast food place while watching a random movie that was airing on some channel that his brain suddenly went

• 'i know they were saying that this is a rest day nd ur not allowed to work probably as a joke but bro…. i dont think it's a joke anymore'

• this is so sad f in the chat for mao lol

• but also he doesnt bring it up bcs ur forcing him to watch musicals w u (some of ur favs) nd he... actyally likes it?

• he hasn't felt so ….relaxed in a very long time now that he thinks abt it

• nd he has to thank u for it yk

• nd so after the musical marathon ends, as he thanks u, he kind of just goes on a rant yk

• abt how he's feeling

• he never expected for this to happen but u tell him it's ok yk

• nd while he shouldn't burden himself w so much work, ur always open to listen to his thoughts, opinions, random bs, anything !!!!!!

• for hours u guys just have a very deep talk abt how guys have been doing nd mao feels like hes so so glad that u did smthg like this for him

• yall also go to bed early bcs mao alrdy has a bad sleeping schedule (so let's not make it worse!!!!)

• nd in conclusion, it was a v good day! now yall do this whenever either of u r feeling down or get burnt out lol

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[tartagliaxx]

honestly, this is totally my fault but my exams are due in one week and i haven't studied for anything yet :DD i just do not wanna graduate this year bc college = more procrastinating = more stress = more lectures = more disappointment

i've also sorta resorted to just completely flipping a person's normal sleep schedule for myself. i go to sleep around 5pm which is about when my classes end. i wake up around midnight, eat dinner and study again. i just don't sleep until the afternoon after classes are over and the cycle continues. it's surprisingly more efficient than i though it would be lol

wanna know what's better than me potentially failing all my subjects? i'm literally gonna be the only person in my class who's gonna attend physical class lol, my friends just said no lmao and ditched so i'm basically gonna be alone at school :)) and only the teacher :)))

i hate everything that's happening in my life rn, but i honestly hate myself more lmao. as always, remember to take care of yourself and make sure to drink lots of water!!

— r. anon

dang nonnie... there’s a lot to unpack here so let’s start slow. i understand not having the motivation to study. for me, not studying gives me an excuse to justify my failure bc not studying and failing is better than studying and still failing. granted in our school, most subjects do performance based exams rather than written ones. when it comes to math though, please. leave me be. in my experience, college seems daunting at first but over time, you get used to it. it’s important to remember that you go at your own pace and that failure is inevitable. celebrate your success and accept your failure but never take it to heart. i think that at the end of the day, what’s important is not a bunch of scores or some people’s opinion about you and your studies but how content you are w yourself and your progress. as long as you’re making a strive to be better and to learn, even if its just a centimeter at a time, thats ok and thats great. i learned that the hard way when i burnt myself out. curses for my high standard perfectionist side.

the fact that you’re getting some sleep now is great progress. dont conform to normality (unless its health related then please do). i heard that if you cant move past your problems then you should just walk around it and this seems like a perfect example for that. not a medical pro so idk if this is healthy or not so...

im dumb so i dont know if thats sarcasm or not but! that sounds terrifying. honestly i miss being back at school bc i think its easier but! only if i have classmates to cover my back. oh god just thinking about that gives my social anxiety a party. im so sorry nonnie. my introvert ass feels for your pain.

honestly this week is just... wack. i hate it. i won’t go into detail bc i could literally write a 10 paged essay talking about how shit this week was. in any case, i understand hating the present. im so sorry you had to go through this mess. however, please dont hate yourself for the unforeseeable circumstances that wormed its way in your life. it’s absolutely normal to feel unmotivated or feel like you’re not good enough given this society’s unhealthy weight on the people but you must pull yourself back up. always remember that everyone has worth. all that aside, even if you hate yourself rn, i and a lot of others still love you and we hope you’ll feel better soon!

take care of yourself too nonnie! take breaks, you’ll need it for a healthy mind and body.

[perseus-jacks]

tagged by @syndullastars​ thank you !! ♡

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? I want to say 7, but its probably more like a 4.5

describe yourself in a hashtag? #i’llsleepwheni’mdead (#overlycaffinated applies too) 

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? such a tough question... either Timothée chalamet or  Gavin Leatherwood 

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? biggest goofball in the town

what’s one thing people don’t know about you?  that I care waaaaaay too much about what others think 

what’s your wake up ritual? shower, brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, cook breakfast/make coffee and then read 

what’s your go to bed ritual? pick out clothes for the morning, brush teeth, wash face, write agenda for the upcoming day

what’s your favorite time of day? I would say late at night, like at 2am when im the only one up and I can already hear birds chirping outside my window.

your go to for having a good laugh? YouTube videos (commentaries, reviews, and even my fave books as vines) 

dream country to visit? Switzerland 

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my life isnt full of surprises, sadly.  I guess when I was able to live and study in Oxford for two days (I honestly didnt know if I could, it was a mess) 

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers

vintage or new? vintage for sure

who do you want to write your obituary? my sister 

style icon?  a mix of Cher from clueless and Monica Geller, with a hint of my sister’s style ( I draw my inspo from many people ok) 

what are three things you cannot live without?  friends, my books, my laptop

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? sugar

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? my mom, my sister, and oddly enough,, van Gough (it would be interesting to share a meal/convo with him)

what’s your biggest fear in life? failing / not living up to my family’s expectations of me

window or aisle seat? Aisle. I love day dreaming while looking out the window, but the aisle is a matter of convince 

what’s your current tv obsession? Outer Banks, and I'm trying to get into Anne with an E too 

favorite app? Spotify, it houses all my music, and thus, a source of happiness. 

secret talent? I can quote every episode of Friends word for word

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? Spent my spring break in Spain 

how would you define yourself in three words? perceptive, passionate,   witty

favorite piece of clothing you own? My distressed Shawn Mendes tour T-shirt ( wear like 3 times a week) 

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a black turtle neck 

a superpower you would want? telepathy/compulsion

what’s inspiring you in life right now? writers and storytellers

best piece of advice you’ve received? sometimes the best thing to do is take risks without fear of the consequences 

best advice you’d give your teenage self? stop worrying so much about what others think and speak you mind always 

a book everyone should read? Jane Eyre 

what would you like to be remembered for? being a good friend

how do you define beauty? Beauty cant be defined. It's everywhere and in everyone. 

what do you love most about your body? My eyes

best way to take a rest/decompress? lounging around and reading with a coffee in hand, or cruising with the windows down with my friends/fam

favorite place to view art? the Met in nyc

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Smile 

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar 

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? a small crescent moon behind my ear or on the part of my hand that is in-between my thumb and index finger

dolphins or koalas? dolphins !!

what’s your spirit animal? an owl

best gift you’ve ever received? a pretty, vintage looking necklace 

best gift you’ve given? I made a friendship timecapsule for my friend when she moved away, and every two weeks or so she would tell me how it cheered her up

what’s your favorite board game?  monopoly 

what’s your favorite color? cornflower blue

least favorite color? burnt orange (sorry Peeta) 

diamond or pearls? diamonds 

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore, it does the job

pilates or yoga? hip-hop yoga

coffee or tea? coffee 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? canoodle, moot

dark chocolate or milk chocolate?both stairs or elevators? stairs, i hate elevators

summer or winter? both

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? just the thought of that makes me tired of every single food in existence lol

a dessert you don’t like? anything fancy

a skill you’re working on mastering? life drawing and general storyboarding stuff, for school and career purposes

best thing to happen to you today? the clone wars finale :((((

worst thing to happen to you today? also the clone wars finale :((((

best compliment you’ve ever received? a few of my friends have told me that i always know exactly what to say, and that makes me happy bc i try very hard to understand them and be what they need so i’m glad it pays off

favorite smell? pine trees and snow on the air, but also sunscreen and the sea

hugs or kisses? hugs

if you made a documentary, what would it be about? the evolution and  highlights of reality tv; its fun to watch but has serious implications if you look closely enough

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? Wall-E

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? Jenna Coleman 

how do you know you’re in love? i’ve only been in love once and it was a very fledgling thing but it was like, they’re always on your mind, seeing them is like a thunderclap to your heart, you want to be near them and laugh with them, you constantly wonder what they think of you (like the littlest thing), you care about how they see you, time with them feels like nothing and everything 

a song you can listen to on repeat? Golden by Harry Styles + Dust Your Pocket by Glass Animals 

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? whoever is dating Gavin Leatherwood, I just want to know what thats like (even if its for a day)

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? Im excited for law school actually and moving out west

this is long so i’ll just tag a few: @maxons  @wizardra @vikingthors @oceanvs @thorne( feel free to ignore ofc ♡ )

[firebuug]

ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!

pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen

buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.

team: 

- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)

- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)

- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)

- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)

- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)

- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)

i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse

team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)

- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)

-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)

- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)

- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)

- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)

gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.

team:

- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)

- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi) 

- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it

- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)

- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)

- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)

- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)

farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.

team:

- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)

- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)

- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)

- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)

- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)

- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)

skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money

team:

- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far) 

- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)

- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)

- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)

- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)

- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)

okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!

[butt-touchin]

bts college au: ship playlist aesthetics

(currently working on these, i’ll post them eventually)

yoonseok: upbeat, raunchy, grungey, dancey, fixing your hair in alleyways, coffee runs, stuck in the studio sorry, dance is running over can we meet up later for pizza and cheap beer i miss you, wrestling on the couch and falling on your face, hushed angry whispers that always end with promises of bath bombs and new mugs, i know you were mad the other day you didnt have to snap at me, im sorry i snapped at you i love you youre my world

vmin: spontaneous, getting yogurt at 3am, sensual but strange, descriptive songs about small things, slow and dancey, french songs with instrumentals, i cant stop thinking about you dancing to this song and ive been getting boners all over campus when it comes on shuffle, i heard this song in a cafe and thought our plants would enjoy it

namjin: smooth jazz to start off the day, sudden musical numbers in the afternoon, sweet soundscapes at night, acoustic guitar and bowls of ice cream, falling asleep at 8pm because its been a Day™, holding hands and blushing like its the first time, sorry i tried to make you breakfast in bed and i accidently broke your favorite mug, hey i got tickets to a seminar on campus that i remembered you mentioning last week in your sleep

jikook: piney, breathy words and simple beats, enough bass to dance to or even possibly make out to, miscommunication because we’re both too stubborn to be wrong, taking 7372 selfies but only posting one and deleting the rest, being jealous over literally nothing but still pouting about it for a week, i cant believe you wore that shirt you know i was going to wear that shirt today, last week you swore you would do the dishes so why are we both doing them you snake

taegi: unexplained phenomena, broken dishes being haphazardly glued together incorrectly, chill hop with jazzy vocals, tripping over nothing and pretending it didnt happen, mumbling in the middle of the night and waking up to find undecipherable lyrics in your notes app, sticky notes with song reccs because i lost my phone again can you call it wait nvm its on silent, i know neither of us can cook but we’ll die on malnutrition if we eat out again lets go to a basic cooking class this weekend

namseok: pure rhythmic chaos, never being able to find matching socks, finding toothpaste from this morning on your elbow halfway through your day, fast lyrics over sporadic beats, passing out on a park bench because you were too comfortable, waking up to the sound of eggs breaking, bedroom eyes over cup ramen, hey im gonna stay later at the library and get some studying done bc we both know youll distract me, hey im home and ive somehow burnt a hole through my last pair of boxers can you buy some more on your way home