#i am so freaking impressed
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I MISS GOING TO THE MALL. Luckily, there is a mall in my game.
Yes! With a sauna, hair salon, cafe, hardware store, IKEA, nightclub AND A PUBLIC TOILET.
I have been dying for something like this in FFXIV for years. I heard tell of mini-malls in XIV housing for literally a decade, but I wasn't advanced enough in levels and cash to really partake.
TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW!
I can't really do the mall thing anymore because, you know, my immune system is made of glass, as is most of my family, but now, I can sing...
youtube
So if you want to "throw every last care away," come down to
Primal / Excalibur / The Goblet / Ward 29 / Plot 13 at The Forum Shopping Center.
#primal#goblet#forum shopping center#ffxiv#ffxiv: a realm reborn#ffxiv: heavensward#ffxiv: stormblood#ffxiv: shadowbringers#ffxiv: endwalker#eorzea80#around eorzea in 80 days#lets go to the mall#its just like a mini mall#i am so freaking impressed#everything was beautifully done#A+++ no notes#Youtube
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Hhhhhh do you ever think about how there's a high chance the reason why Oscar got attached to Arthur so quickly is because he was lonely.
#oscar malevolent#malevolent#malevolent podcast#I AM SO FUCKING SAD OVER THIS STUPID LITTLE PRIEST ITS CRAZY 😭#HAHA WHAT IF HE WAS LONELY AND DIDNT HAVE ANY FRIENDS THAT WERENT LIKE CHURCH ATTENDEES AND HE THOUGHT HE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE HIS AGE#WHO'D UNDERSTAND HIM AND BE THERE FOR HIM AND OUGHHHH GOD NO LIKE YOU REALLY DO GET THE IMPRESSION HE THOUGHT HE'D GET TO SPEND MORE TIME#WITH ARTHUR AND WANTED THEM TO GET CLOSER AND THE WAY THEY CLICKED?? OUGH#blindfaith#<- but like vaguely#and also this post could be platonic or romangic or qp etc#txt#the fumble#alternatively oscars just a little devoted freak and i can get behind that
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The Question in Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part 1
(also it seems like Huntress is going to be in this movie as well so hopefully there will be some Huntress and Question interactions!)
#the question#vic sage#justice league crisis on infinite earths#justice league crisis on infinite earths part 1#justice league video#the question video#dc comics#justice league#tomorrowverse#dc universe#me watching this teaser clip and freaking out when THE QUESTION started talking#okay I was going to watch this movie but now I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO WATCH IT#and I am pretty sure that is huntress that appears 14 secs before the end of this clip#so I have my fingers crossed for some question x huntress moments#too bad jeffrey combs isn't returning as the question#also love that green arrow's first impression of Q is annoyance across different earths lol#warner bros#rambles in the palace#videos in the palace
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Need me a medic main who loves playing medic as much as I love playing soldier
#yknow#to teach me how to behave 🤔#need me a freak like that#i cant even type that with a straight face lmao#but seriously tho i feel like most medic players i know are kinda whatever about it#like medic is my secondary and im like whatever about it#like you run into people all the time who are like Pyro is my LIFE#Demoman is my LIFE#i mean i got almost 1.5k hours on solly so you can guess where i am on the spectrum#but ive always wanted to meet the Medic is my LIFE guy#just for the chance to disappoint- i mean impress him (lol)#and i dont mean the 'i just started playing last year and i like to play medic' kinda guy i mean the Master Yoda of medics#where are you master yoda medic#teach me your ways
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Andrew Garfield interview on Hacksaw Ridge in 2016
#I had to resort to some old footage to find something to gif sorry#andrew garfield#my gifs#I'm getting an olfactory impression from this of the smell of dewy grass and clean t-shirt#he's so freaking cute here I'm gonna explode#how is he this adorable and so hot at the same time I'm suffering#the way he looks just a little bit small and the way his shoulders are makes me want to hug him#somehow looking at this I just know how it'd feel#it doesn't make sense but I've had a super rough day so this is where I'm at#I need to gif him to feel better#I have so many feelings 🥺#andrew my beloved . . . I am available anytime
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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absolute high of today was picking up a large spider and several coworkers telling me they were impressed
#i was freaking out the whole time#but i really really didn't want anyone to step on it#which meant i very much had to remove it from the room#i think it helped that i had lab gloves on#not sure i could have done it with my bare hands#but to turn around and have oli say 'i am SO impressed by you right now' was a genuine actual win#nettle talks
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jesus fuck ok we have moved into traumatic vivid dream territory
#the dream was basically i was on a call with my dad telling him off#and he started like losing it and then said he was bleeding so i started freaking out#and he like ended up trying to commit murder suicide 👍🏻#there was so much fucking blood#it scares me cause like. i think my family is all under the impression that my father Could be pushed to do things like that easily#he has past history of SI and HI#and he has some bipolar so when he's manic he's fucking off the wall#i just wish i wouldn't have a dream where I'm the reason he goes off the wall fuck#why am i randomly having these dreams :( it's so fucking distressing#jester.txt#anyways. guess i'll go back to sleep and subject myself to possibly more👍🏻👍🏻
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Tbh the more darkfic I read and write the less seriously I can take discourse/fan wank about how "problematic" something is. Guarantee that for any oh so "fucked up" piece of media out there, fans could and have written worse. Sometimes the fans who have written worse are the ones doing the discoursing and that's the silliest of all.
#discourse#this isnt about someone being racist or something it's more like#'omg this show has an abusive romanticized relationship!'#yeah and i know a million fans who habe written those for free. for fun. on their own time#like idk i'm just not impressed any more esp when i see dark content creators being the ones to discourse#like oh really? so it's okay for you and your friends specifically to write fucked up stuff#but when someone else writes soemthing fucked up that you dont like suddenly the freak label comes out#like idk man i do still have my things where i think ppl who write them are repugnant#but that doesnt mean i go bashing them or supporting censorship or whatever#because I AM ALSO A FREAK so like if i tried to criticize ppl for making something i see is problematic#it's literally a pot/kettle thing#also fandom and young peoples standards for fucked up are like on the floor lmao
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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me when season five airs and The Big Reveals are mike's sexuality and will's love for mike bc mike has always known he's loved will but he hasn't always been comfortable with his sexuality and will has always known what he is but he didn't always know that what he felt for mike was that kind of love until it was already too late and thus the source of his pain has been jealousy + unrequited love
#mike said 'it's not my fault you don't like girls' and 'did you think /i/ would never get a girlfriend?' and joyce said she was so proud of#will's rainbow rocket ship and jonathan told will he'd always love him no matter what and to please talk to him if he needs to and the#party has always heard what people call will and loved him anyway no matter what and will has generally always had people in his corner#to support him that have literally endangered themselves and almost died for him and some people STILLLLLL think that HIS plot is abt#/focused on coming out n being generally accepted for being gay. like we didn't see that his entire s4 plot was abt his feelings for mike#specifically not his feelings for men in general.#UNLIKE MIKE who was fiercely devoted to will from the get-go but suddenly pushed him away n projected his internalized homophobia#and shame bestowed upon him by society onto will who wasn't even fucking talking about THAT thank u very much and who has been#battling being a freak loser (aka himself) vs conforming to what everyone else wants him to be (wearing mommy's clothes; impressing#other people by getting not just a girlfriend but a SUPERHERO girlfriend) and who in the season where he says he doesn't want to be#popular and where the person he looks up to talks abt nonconformity and mentions sodomy in relation 2 dnd etc etc they make HIS plot#focus on how he CAN'T SAY I LOVE YOU TO HIS GIRLFRIEND IN A ROMANTIC CONTEXT until HIS BEST FRIEND confesses his feelings#and it moves him enough to then make him say it to el when his bestie tells him to. like. literally how much more clear does it need 2 be#MIKE is the one that has BEEENNNNN vying for acceptance and self-worth and battling shame#WILL has been the one that has Known what he is and suffered bc he thought mike was that too n obviously felt hurt by mike replacing him#with el n ignoring him altogether aka 'you're destroying everything and for what? so you can swap spit with some stupid girl?'#like am i the weird one or does mike's 3984093 weird projecting statements after s2 vs will being jealous of el not make this super clear#will HAS ALWAYS HAD ppl to accept him n love him for who he is. the party + his family are right there for him to go home to after being#bullied. it's scary and a part of his story yes undoubtedly but it is not The High Point. and mike has always been crazy for will but#that doesn't mean he's accepted it or thinks others will accept it.#but anyway. im normal i did not write an entire essay in the tags bc i am normal
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man idgaf about what treville and richelieu have going on (mostly nothing) (they dont like each other but they work together a lot bc of their jobs.) (i guess treville holding onto a sense of honour whilst working with the cardinal is interesting but like that's not. thats not really those two having something interesting going on). lets talk about the king and the cardinal man.
#the way the king sometimes resents the cardinal's influence but is so easily manipulated to feel lost without it.#the fact that he'll openly acknowledge the cardinal wants him to rule unfairly and play favourites. with a fond look on his face#''i will disband their whole regiment if that's what it takes to make you happy. only please don't leave me alone'' with tears in his eyes#all of which was exactly what the cardinal was going for and he just gets away with it!#the queen finds out he was trying to have her Killed and she says yeah fuck you obvi but i wont tell the king tho bc he loves you ?#i'm not saying any of this is like romantic to be clear lol. it's just very interesting#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that#it is super interesting though the way the cardinal needs to undermine the queen and place himself closer to the king to succeed in his aim#it would be somewhat appropriate for sure to say its kind of a parent-child relationship in some ways but that's definitely not all of it#in terms of the way the king relies on him and his guidance. but again thats not all of it and he's not a child. or not actually a child.#and i could say this about any of the relationships between men on the show but of course Because they're both men that means the#Possibility of it being anything but fully platonic is not something he can acknowledge and for that reason whether it is or Not there's#still going to be a level of repression and denial that just complicates things. even though/if theres not truly anything to deny#meanwhile honestly i think the cardinal is personally being normal about it even tho he's a freak about a lot of other things#i mean idk that was my impression. i am sorta-watching through s1 again so maybe i'll develop my ideas on that#anyway#me.txt#musketeers posting
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ive been thinking abt a helio/stratos swap recently and mostly just like. the reality of a vace+rex+nomi childhood friends trio in this au is so. man
#me realizing i think vace would be essentially the pov chara for this au: MAN#stratos kids in this concept is really fun i am soooo obsessed with military sol#mama flulu in a military heavy au is so......... man#flulu who's met geranium and is doing a little better than her previous military days but she's still this decorated soldier right#and sol wants soooo bad to make her proud. so they work really hard.#not realizing flulu really hates seeing them do this. but she knows its to impress her#so it's this awful feedback loop where sol is trying so so hard to make her proud and she is!#but also they can tell she's kind of reluctant to praise them so theyre like#well obviously i just need to work harder then :/ and end up becoming one of the best younger soldiers lol#them and marz are kind of always at odds for control over the social circle i htink#they tend to win tho just bc of like...... their clout etc. but marz sometimes gets little victories just bc. U Kno.#cal is like the weird outcast on this ship lol#i think him and sol were closer as kids but his utter pacifism leaves him completely on the outside u kno#dys is a bit of an outsider too but he's more of like a#doesnt play well with others outsider rather than a Freak outsider#he does well enough in training etc that ppl leave him alone mostly i htink#he and sol are definitely Weirdly Obsessed With Each Other#also military ship engineer tang like...... lmao#to prevent gvf would be either like. actively sabotaging her i think. its a whole thing#god. thinking thinking thinking#teenexo stuff#helio sol versus military stratos sol are different concepts lol#helio sol is like. pressure from mom makes them shut down so they kind of suck#versus military stratos sol where mom doesnt have hte pressure and instead is like#someone theyre trying so hard to impress themself#so they work way harder and better#its a whole thing. fun concept#thinking constantly always
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your blog is so normal tonight char
thanks it's because i'm such a normal girl btw
#it's a combination of factors.#i'm kind of tired and stressed in like an everyday sense and i did just cry a little bit for normal reasons but i am OKAY...#i am simply demonstating my freaking posting power. i am so good at posting. only one of these has been a draft everything else is#off the cuff#you may be awed and impressed now#going to go 'beddy bye' soon. as the kids are saying these days
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I know changes need to be made when a story is being adapted from book to screen but that won't stop me from freaking out over every little changed detail
#we are halfway through and THEYRE NOT EVEN IN JAPAN YET#we were 1/5 of the way through the book at this point. I am. uggghh we're gonna cut out so much#and there's SO MUCH STRESS on the current day solomon his plotline doesn't parallel or tie in with young sunjas at alllll#that screen time could be put towards her!!#and I'm not the biggest fan of the timeline it's jarring seeing young Sunja and then old Sunja without seeing her age or how the decades#have affected her#and having Isak and hansu meet??? hello??? though that part in the suit shop was very big dick of Isak I will give him that#but like also hansu already seeing sunja before she leaves?? watching her freaking boat leave??#it was soooo much more of a twist in the book when he meets her again in Osaka when their last convo had him rejecting marriage#and that entire singer thing???? made NO sense at allll#heheh I am appreciating this show for what it is. I'm also being VERY critical#and also WHYYY is old sunja going back to Korea ITS SO IMPORTANT IN THE BOOK THAT SHE NEVER RETURNS!!#also Yoseb doesn't know that the child isn't isaks??? what??? that's SO like he knew he was able to figure out it was hansus!!#hnnng Yoseb and Kyunghee should know that Isak isn't the father#but however Isak my beloved Kyunghee my beloved EVEN YOSEB AHH!!#and like the casting has impressed me SO much#for Solomon did they hire a trilingual actor??? he's phenomal in all three languages#but yeah I have. SO many thoughts for this show
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like i still dont know if i feel anything romantic for him but like i guess at this point it’s not really platonic either since like we’re kissing and holding hands but like. idk. i guess i just dont know what romantic feelings… feel like? in my mind it’s still just hanging out just like, different 😭😭😭 like i know everyone always says ur partner should be ur friend first but like. we’re literally just hanging out. like it doesn’t feel any deeper or anything like that, it just feels. different. bc we are doing different things with different expectations. so even though i mean like well i have a. God i cant even say the word rn. even though im dating someone now i still feel incredibly aromantic about it. and luckily he knows and he took it well and he knew it from the get go so it’s fine but i also can’t help but feel like ahhh i’m aromantic though
#like he was telling me about his past gfs just to like be transparent and the way he said something#made it sound like . like idk like he was worried i would get jealous#and jts like Brother i aint got a single jealous bone in my body. i literally do not fucking care in that regard#idk idk idk. i like that everythings been very open and light hearted and transparent so far#me laying out my complex weirdness re: my aromanticism and then also him just being like. Yeah so here’s past history just so you’re aware#and idk like im SHY bc ive never DONE ANY OF THIS BEFORE !!!#and for ME its so fucking embarrassing he literally does anything and i get all 😳😳😳#he kissed my knuckles and i was like. speechless#and he was like thats so mild you shouldnt be embarrassed over that#BUT LIKE. I AM !!!#but he keeps telling me how cute it is so like OKAY !!!!! OKAY I GUESS !!!!!#so like idk idk its just. i feel so cringe but hes so reassuring about it so its like okayyyyy. okayyy#i still have no fucking idea if im kissing correctly but he isnt complaining so like. OKAYYYYYYYYYYY#ANDJSDJSHFJSHDJDJD <- dog being sprayed with a water hose#brot posts#but its not just the cringe its also just like the. idk. dhskjd#like he asked to kiss me the first time and he endured my five minutes of freaked out spluttering and indecision#(and earlier that same day i was gossiping to my mike coworkwrs about this and they told me its not romantic to ask!!)#(like maybe so but bitch im AROMANTIC !!)#(just the juxtaposition of what my coworkwrs said ans then actually having him ask anyway it was like. oh!!!)#(and then another part of me is like ITS SUCH A LOW BAR WHY AM I IMPRESSED but also. hdkshdkajsjsnsjs)#and sometimes i can tell he wants to kiss me but like im not displaying it w my body language so he doesnt ever actually do it#literally such a low bar but yet. im still thankful and endeared by it#and i just. ARGH !!#i guess thats a good word to pin to my feelings - endeared#i dont know if this is me actually. feeling anything romantic but like. im certainly endeared. im certainly charmed#in what way? who knows. but well i fucking agreed to be his official gf now so fucking whatever. just going w the flow at this point
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