#i am proud of my self love journey. i just wish for more.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[dreamgrlarchive]

Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

[gorgeouslypink]

HIIII PINK!!! When I heard you were leaving I was so sad I even started crying and started to doubt myself on entering the void. I was like “how tf am I going to get into the void without pink???” I started procrastinating reading some of your post basically stalking ur page staying up til 4 in the morning (I was desperate 😭). I realized that I already read all of ur post, nd I just was surprised on how much time I wasted trying to get into the void. And I always dreamt abt putting a success story in your inbox. I already had all the knowledge i needed so what’s the point of more? I deleted tumblr and thought of anything that could help me get in the void. I did SATS while listening to my subliminal playlist, i daydreamed abt the void and my desires for fun, i affirmed for my void concept randomly throughout the day, feeling of the wish fulfilled, listened to delta waves when I was abt to sleep, and I meditated once a day for 10 mins. Meditation was optional but whateva 🤷‍♀️. I ONLY DID THAT FOR THREE FREAKING DAYS. And Im still mad at myself for wasting time procrastinating for 9 months. I was going to take a nap and I was in a drowsy state, so might as well affirm for the void right? I started saying affs like “I’m in the void”, etc etc. Once I started affirming, everything was just calm Yk? My body wanted to move but it was like it couldn’t cause the state I was in was calm asf. So I closed my eyes and just repeated the affs in my head over and over and over until I got this feeling like as if my body was floating, then I payed attention to it for a split second then ignored It after. I kept on affirming then I felt like I was being pulled then let go and it was as if I was falling. Everything got darker and quieter. So then I got scared and jumped because that scared me soo bad (I’m a easy person to scare 😔). After that, I felt like I was actually a master at the void, I took a nap again and I had the same feeling but when I felt like I fell I kept my calm. Then I couldn’t hear my fan which was louddd, I opened my eyes to total darkness, I was scared for two seconds and realized I was in the void!! Ngl I had a whole list set up with my desires and I was ready to affirm and goooo!!! But I realized how calm the void is and stayed there for what felt like 5 minutes. I did affirm I had all my desires and that I was able to wake up in the void under 5 seconds. When I woke up from the void it was 9 pm and I took a nap at 2!!! I woke up with all of my desires nd shi. (I would explain in more detail in how I got in and stuff like that but I was in a rush and didn’t want to make this too long 😀)

BUT THANK YOU SMM PINK, IM GOING TO MISS U SM. YOU HAVE BEEN A REALLY BIG HELP WITH MY VOID JOURNEY, I TRULY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE FOR THIS COMMUNITY, MAKE SURE TO ENJOY UR SELF 💗💗💖💖💖💗💕

✌️😼

Hi love!!! Omgosh I'm so proud of you! This is so cute and you deserve this so much and I'm genuinely happy for you. 💗

[adilynnyuri]

So - I am here again ;-) - first at all I want to thank you again and tell you how grateful I am to have you by my side on my journey - your advise and own experiences help me so much, they boost my mindset and help me to move on. Although I am so thankful that you talk about revision of death with me and the other two guys sharing my revision journey - it's so tremendously helpful for me and when I am doubting I often come back to all that stuff over and over again and it gives me hope and power to persist. Your words are so eye-opening for me and they really hit my crucial issues.

As you answered to the other person who shares my journey, incase of revising death the pivotal issue are our deep programmes (assumptions!) about death. So these programmes always popup as intrusive thoughts. You always highlight that it doesn't matter if we feel bad when affirming. So do you think that by moving on with robot affirming resistance decreases over time or is it possible to saturate your mind although sometimes there are these thoughts? I try to get better and better in robot affirming and I really see progress. I feel much less resistance and I noticed that I more often have reallly good feelings. But then sometimes it hits down in my stomach and these intrusive programmes pop up again...So I dont know if this will affect my manifestation.

It also hit me that you answered me that if I assume that "revising death is a piece of cake process - then it will be!" You have literallly scanned my mind! ;-) Yes - I assume that it's a BIG deal and so it will take a QUANTUM step. So you really unlocked one of my cornerstone assumtions and now I feel some first progess of letting go this belief!

One big issue I also deal with is that I lived together with my mum, so I miss her in my daily life and so much things remind me of the loss. Also other people remind me. I then actually try to say to myself that this isn't my reality and keep affirming then. But in these moments instrusive thoughts become stronger and I feel that this triggers my doubtring and wavering regarding the naturalness. Do you have some advise to manage this in a less wavering way? How did you do it with your uncle? And how your uncle first appeared in your 3D again or was this so fluent that you can't describe this?

When it comes to affirming and saturating: I affirm: "Mum is healthy, happy and right by my side." I will add the "Creator-Formula" ;-) you advised to use (I think it will be very helpful to build up a better self concept...). I visualize occasionally and during the day I sometimes shortly remind little splits of my visualizations: I then often say to myself: "I am looking forward when we can do X or Y. " or "I have to tell you so many things." Is this future relation in these statements ok in this case or should I adapt that to a more "present" tense wording?

And as a last question: If my biggest wish is the revision, but I would like to adapt some other circumstances around to create a more comfortable and relaxed life for us: Would it be more effective to first focus on the revison and then manifest these other things later on? Or doesnt it matter, so that I can add some other affiormations I want to become true? So the question is here, if it is more effective to first manifest the biggest wish or if it just doesnt matter and we can directly add some further affirmations for other things/circumstances? Does it matter how much time we affirm for a change?

Thanks again - my angel - you are so kind!

Hii love! 🤍

I am so so happy that you understood what I said and also implemented that into your reality!! PROUD OF YOU BABE! 💋

HOW DID MY MANIFEST MY COOL UNCLE BACK (ANOTHER VAUNT ABOUT MY UNCLE 🤭)

Ig the overall question of you is how to stop wavering. The answer is very simple - affirm

Everything is so simple babe!

As you already know,

Dominant thoughts = your actual reality

I understand that wavering comes up when you are "trying" To manifest something "bigger" But no shit is bigger for you to manifest.

The only thing bigger is the power you hold to manifest anything you want!

I suggested robotic affirmations because I manifested my uncle back with robotic affirmations.

"How your uncle first appeared in your 3d"

Well, simple. Everyone was grieving for his loss everyday and i was sitting and affirming that he ain't dead🤓☝🏻

Literally bruh, everyday some people will come to my home and will remind me about his loss!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK☝🏻

Kept affirming, affirming and affirming that i got my shit and all the negative shit goes to trash. No intrusive thoughts can affect me!

Even I was missing him alot coz he was my favorite uncle ever.... Used to buy me lot of kpop related stuffs + his character and personality is *chefs kiss*

As I was robotically affirming (i don't really remember how many days) and ig it took me about a week to saturate my mind. And boom! Within few days, he just walked into my home like nothing have never happened and bought me chocolates too! 💀

All of my family members were not surprised when he walked into my home and everyone was just casually inviting him.

*Meanwhile me 👁👄👁 knowing that manifested him back with just affirming*

But i was not shocked. (I was shocked) 😭

BUT IT LASTED ONLY FEW SECONDS THEN AGAIN I REMINDED MYSELF THAT I AM THE MASTER OF THIS REALITY.

And because of this "big manifestation" I became more STRONGER like SO MUCH STRONGER!

Me be like "nobody can stop me here afterwards"

🦹‍♀️🦸🏻‍♀️

[aeragan]

[anon: Can you write a nsfw alfabet with Smoke, if you haven't written one yet?] sorry i havent gotten to this one yet!!!! didnt mean to keep you waiting anon. im a little bit behind on requests, but here i am!!! i also wanna thank yall for the support, i really didn't expect to get a whole lotta numbers on my writing since this is all for self-indulgence really T_T. i appreciate each and every one of yall

cw: NSFW, amab, bondage, body worship, dry humping, little mention of blowjobs, not proofread MINORS DNI

ᴛᴏᴍᴀꜱ ᴠʀʙᴀᴅᴀ || ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Tomas' HOBBY is taking care of you. Out of everyone, I think he is the most attentive. He has an entire checklist. First, he checks in with you. He makes sure you're okay afterward, he asks how the sex was, and sometimes he'll ask about his performance. He likes opening up the discussion because it shows him what he could do better, what you like, and what you'd like to try. Next, he's gonna cuddle up to you. Hold you all close, play with your hair, and pepper your face with kisses. After that, he'll carry you off to the shower and wash up, still peppering you with kisses. He just can't get his mind off your damn lips. Before you fall asleep, he insists on giving you a massage, and getting you a snack and some water, too. He'll even light some incense, as well. He's got all sorts of essential oils for you, like a whole library. And once he's finished his checklist, he keeps you close. Even in his sleep. He loves it when you lay your head on his chest.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is his shoulders. They make him feel especially strong. He also thinks they hold the story of his journey, from hunting with his family to becoming a ninja with the Lin Kuei. Not to mention, they help a lot with hunting, mainly with a bow. Regardless, he's just proud of how far he has come, and he believes his shoulder specifically show that.

On you, he loves your lips. Your entire face, really. But he can never get enough of your lips. How soft & inviting they are, how warm, it's just so hard to stay away from them. He always finds himself sneaking quick kisses from you in public. He also loves heavy make-out sessions, doesn't matter if they lead to sex or not. He just enjoys the feeling of your lips on his.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Tomas prefers to cum inside, he thinks it's kind of like marking what's his. It also feels more intimate. But if you don't want him to, then he'll cum outside. And he kind of likes it, too. He likes how it looks on your stomach, particularly. He also loves to kiss you when he cums, it's even more intimate to him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Just how much he wishes he could see you masturbate. Yeah, he can ask, but he's too nervous to. He can only imagine you, too caught up, pleasuring yourself, moaning out his name, whimpering. Yearning for him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's got some experience, just enough to know what he's doing. But he learns more with you, maybe a little too much. Because he's comfortable with you, he really likes exploring your body. And through that, he's learned of all your little quirks and such. He especially loves dragging his hand down your chest and your stomach, he finds that it makes you shiver quite a bit.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Good ol' missionary. Tomas prefers to see your face, and missionary is perfect. Keeps you two close, he can kiss you whenever, however he likes. And he gets to give you as much pleasure as possible. But, if you're feeling like a little bit of a workout, he also likes London Bridge, he just really likes to get in there deep. But he also loves holding you by the small of your back.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's serious. Like Bi-Han, sex is a very sacred act to him. It's one of the things that can establish a deeper bond with you, and he prefers to keep the tone serious. He wants you to take it seriously, too.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's smoooooth, baby. No chest hair, no pubic hair, no nothing. He likes it that way.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's amongst the sweetest. Sex is one of the deeper connections between you, so he makes sure you know he loves you. He'll outright say it, yes, but his actions speak louder than words. Mainly his attraction to your lips, he loves kissing you any chance he gets. He also loves it when you moan into his mouth. But he also spends ample time tracing your body, kissing down your neck, your chest, your stomach, all of your body. He needs you to know he loves every part of your body. Not to mention the words he'll say. He tells you exactly what he loves about you, he'll speak to you in Czech. Doesn't matter if you don't know it, sometimes he can't find the words in English. He also calls you all sorts of sweet things, Miláček, Drahoušek, Medvídek, Kotě.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't really need to jack off that much. Maybe like thrice in two weeks? But he prefers you, so he doesn't jack off unless he really can't get you off his mind.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Body Worship. All the way. Tomas loves taking his sweet time with you, admiring every little bit about you. He especially loves all the delicious little sounds you make as he goes along, how you reach for him. He loves knowing of your yearning.

He also enjoys dry humping. Knowing that the gratification of skin on skin contact is so close but so far. Grinding up against you, moaning out your name, begging for you as if he isn't doing this to himself. He also loves it when you grinding up against his knee.

Sensory Play is another another one he enjoys. Blindfolding you, mainly. But he does also enjoy light bondage. Tying you up and blindfolding you, containing yourself. He likes the idea of being able to do anything he wants to you, with consent of course. Seeing you try to wiggle out of your restraints as he enjoys your body, rubbing his hands down your legs, kissing your chest, all of that.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Tomas actually prefers fucking outside in the forest. He likes the mood, it reminds him of the nights he'd hunt. It kind of brings something primal out of him! But he doesn't mind doing it in his room, or yours. He is kind of into shower/bath sex, as well. Even if it doesn't require penetration, if he can still jack you off in the bath, he'll enjoy it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

As mentioned before, simply kissing you gets him off. He loves when just a small peck leads to a nice, passionate kiss, to a full on make-out session. Especially when you end up on top of him. But he also loves watching you fight. He knows you're skilled, but just watching you in action gets him a little excited.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He hates being teased. In any sort of way. He likes to keep the rhythm going, because he's very in the mood. So edging, or a ruined orgasm really doesn't fly in his book. He hates having to beg or ask for permission to cum.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He can go either way, he likes it when you give him head, but if you ask for him to go down on you, he doesn't mind either. He kind of likes it, regardless. He likes doing anything that makes you squirm with his touch, so if you want him to, gladly. But if you offer to give him head, he won't refuse. He loves it when you deepthroat him, especially.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's got a moderate pace, not to fast, not to slow. Depends on the mood, really. If you two are having a quiet night, being soft with each other, he'll go slow & sensual. But, if things are getting heated, he's gonna go faster. And rougher, if you want. Especially in the woods, that's where he likes to fuck you pretty.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You'd have to convince him. If you two haven't been able to enjoy sex for about a month, he's okay with it. He knows the importance of sex, and just releasing that energy once in a while. But if you two have time for a full-fledged night, then he'd prefer you two wait until then.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's perfectly fine with where he is. He isn't really comfortable with risks or experimenting, he thinks he's doing fine as is. And he knows you feel good with him, so to him there's no point.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Alllll night. And maybe shower sex, afterwards. But he's all tuckered out in the morning. Because of his training (and prior hunting), he has more than enough stamina. He just needs at least a day to recover, if you do go all night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not really, only the needs to tie you up in light bondage. But if you have toys, he'll gladly use them, and incorporate them into sex regularly. He loves giving you the extra boost of pleasure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tomas doesn't tease, he's probably the fairest out of the roster. Because he hates being teased, he won't tease you in any way. Even if you argue that his extensive body-worship routine is teasing. You both know it's not.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Depends on the mood. If it's a sensual night, he's rather quiet, moaning directly into your ear. But if you two are out in the woods, and he's goin' rough, he'll be a lot louder, even growling a bit. Actually, some of the words he says has a bit of a growl to it, too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sometimes, when he's real into it, he has a little bit of a Czech accent. Obviously, when he's speaking Czech. But even some phrases in English will have a little bit of accent to it. Especially when he's closer to your ear. It's not something you hear much, since he's been with the Lin Kuei longer than he had been in Prague.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Tomas is a grower, 6.2" in length when hard, 1.6" wide. Leans slightly to the right, and moderately veiny.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He's really just ready whenever you are. His sex drive isn't the highest, but it isn't low, either. He's patient, he can wait until whenever.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends on how long you two went on for. If it was all night, all he can really do is finish his aftercare checklist, and then he'll pass right out on your chest. But if you two only went for like three rounds, he's making an effort to stay up until you're asleep.

[secretress]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲.❞

Your higher self, love letter to you

YouTube | Masterlist | 18+ readings

Tips | Paid Readings

Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.

Credit | Divider

Pile 1:

Stop being lazy

It has been a while since you took care of yourself, correct? Why do you keep scrolling on useless videos using social media? Do you honestly think this is the life you deserve? Get off you’re a*ss and do something with your life. get to the life I am in at the moment, because I don’t wanna deal with your sh*t. Listen, princess, I don’t care that you’re lazy right now, I was the same and I got where I am at, so do the same because I AM YOU.

Get off that phone right now, hell you can stop reading the message, I don’t care, but go do something with your life. I know you wanted to start that job that you keep procrastinating to sign, go sign it for the love of christ. Off you go and sign it, I can’t deal with your moping cr*ap right now.

Sure, sure, you might think I’m being a d*ck about it, but guess what? I wish I had the same energy that I am giving to you right now because it was a lot harder for me than it is for you right now. I went through all that sweat, all those pains to get where I am so STOP WISHING FOR IT AND GET YOU’RE A*SS OFF THE BLOODY PHONE AND FIX YOUR LIFE.

Now that I have your attention and have reduced all that bent up anger, let's start off with the real letter. This will be short and simple, pure honesty and bluntness. I don’t care if you’re complaining about me, so suck it up and listen to me.

You can’t let other people’s opinion affect you like it affected me and stalled my process. If you truly think about it, at the end of the day, we all die, time is short, yes it feels long and depressing at times, but in a blink of an eye, and you will be old. Can you truly keep up with being lazy and doing nothing in your life? that feels like the best choice doesn’t it because it is easier, but it is not. It is hurting you tremendously.

Start being yourself because you need to. This is no buts, start now, please.. at least for me if you can’t do it. I want to see you thrive and find the happiness you are getting. Start it now so you get it faster than me, don’t you want to see yourself smiling genuinely again without faking your personality for the likes of others? Don’t you want to have a picnic like when we were a kid without a care in the world, don’t you want to go back to being the same free spirited kid we once were? How about reading out in the grass and looking at the clouds past us and how we were always so fascinated? Let’s go back to that because this is the life we deserve and.. you know what? Spoiler alert! You get the desired best friend you have been manifesting for.. so, change now, come and see me and be happy. Okay? Okay.. see you then and I love love love love.. (x2) you so much..!

Pile 2:

I am so proud of you! ❤️❤️

Hello, hi, love, I hope you’re doing, please be okay. I am very happy at where we are right now, thank you so much for improving yourself for me and getting where we are right now. You and I have been through such a journey, and I find it amazing because we have been through so much.. too much. Too much pain from our toxic childhood.. but I want you to know that I love you dearly and I am so incredibly proud of you and us, thank you for working hard and being there for us when no one else was and thank you for not ridiculing our past self anymore. You’re doing an amazing job and soon we will meet..

Till then, I am watching you with the biggest smile and cheering you on because in reality.. we aren’t broken souls anymore.. we have many people surrounding us and love us for us.. so no more faking it, it’s.. It’s just so beautiful and I’m just so happy to see us smiling for real this time.

- Your lovely you in the future, my sweets <3

Pile 3:

You are worthy, we are strong. Ily.

Please don't go back to them, they aren't worth your time. You care about yourself .. right? You always say you love yourself but then have the audacity to go back to the ONE PERSON, who f*cks you over until you sob your heart out so please stop. You know they aren't worth it, sweetpea so you can't go back. Would you let them be near our younger self? Hell, you wouldn't nor would you even have them as a lover, i know why you're doing this—and it wasn't your fault. That trauma they put us through WASN'T OUR FAULT. We didn't deserve to be beaten all the time, and we don't deserve someone who does that to us in a relationship.

I can't see you do this anymore to us, we deserve the world, we deserve to have everything blossom for us.. We deserve happiness, sunshine following us and letting us know we are the prettiest and so worthy. We deserve someone who treats us with respect and respects our boundaries.. Not someone who uses us for their pleasure.. You know you wouldn't let them do that to us when we were teenagers again until it happened.. We never deserved what they did to us.. So leave them at once.. It is not worth it and their manipulation.. Don't you want to see us smiling like an idiot over something simple again? Being our goofy self because why not? Being that class clown that we used to be, making others smile, yeah sure, BUT MAKING ourselves happy was really the goal. We all know that.

You know I used to think like you as you are right now, that what we had done to us was a lesson and it had to happen because god said so but.. No.. we didnt deserve that sh//t. We weren't their toy to be used for pleasure and we didn't need to protect them because people told us it won't ruin their future.. f//ck their future, okay? It ruined us but not anymore.. I got stronger and more amazing and so will you. All we have to do is know it wasn't our fault and we didn't deserve what happened to us. We are a beautiful soul and we are no longer under their shadow. We are amazing.. Absolutely amazing.. Do you understand? Please know I am here watching you and fighting for you, and you will always have me to be there for you.. My pretty angel.

It wasn't your fault, it was THEIRS. I am with you, you're a fighter and so am I. We will fight this together, just you and I. From you.

(This pile crushed my absolute heart into pieces, I had tears channeling this. Your higher self is there for you but so am I, my dms are open for you to vent. I am here for you, my sweets. And I'll kick their bottom too).

[jade-green-butterfly]

Today...is a very special and important day for me, folks~💝😊Three years ago, a certain special troll became the highlight of my 2020 during rough times and immediately won my heart from the moment I knew he would have his own destiny and journey to find others like him...and his family. Since the first Trolls movie, I have always admired dearly him from afar and the moment I saw him during the Trolls World Tour trailer, my heart literally poured out him and I have truly loved him for just being his wonderful, lovable self ever since~💘🥹 And that certain special troll, is none other than...Cooper~💗🌈✨

I have always been a big fan of him and he’s always been my favourite troll to begin with but every time I see him and hear him, my heart always beats so much for him, making it aflutter and words cannot describe how special he is to me...how he means the whole world to me~💞🌈💗🌈💞I mean...can you blame me? >//w//`< How could I resist and say no to such an adorable face to go with such a darling like him??💖😍💖😍💖 Cooper is more than just the goofball that we all know and love...he’s my goofball and so much more...~🥹The most amazing troll with such talent, a unique voice and a dazzling yet loving royal family to go with him...~🌟Cooper is also the prince of my heart, who deserves all the love and happiness in the world...and I feel so blessed to be the one to give it all to him, along with my heart~🥰💝💝🥰 April 24th 2020 was the day I drew Cooper for the very first time, and when I started shipping myself with him. And together, him and I have remained strong and inseparable ever since!🫶🏻😌💕We’ve had such happy memories together - becoming part of his world and family, sharing one another’s lives and music, even officially marrying and creating our own dear little life together~✨💜💗💚✨And I wish to keep on loving Cooper forevermore~💓😊

Which is why I dedicate this very special piece above (with a textless version too) to us, inspired by one of my favourite scenes in TWT - where King Quincy and Queen Essence were happily together with their twin eggs (before our dear Cooper was cruelly snatched away from them😭) and I wished to capture that tender moment between Cooper and I, with our darling Toby's egg nestled warmly within my hair~🥰 EEEEEEE~!!😍🤩😍I am so, sooooo happy and truly over the moon of how all of this turned out~!💖🥹💖Just how I imagined it, especially Cooper snuggling against me with his neck wrapped around me as we lovingly embrace one another, feeling like the proud parents we are~💜💗💚😚I am also chuffed with the cherry blossoms I drew to make the bed cover look more prettier~🌸 I would like to deeply and gratefully thank many wonderful peeps out there for helping bring my beloved OTP to life, such as my lovely @x-elyssa-x, KaitlinEXE, @gloryraiin, @jaguardorado16, @vampireflowerarts, @zoey-nillesen, @king-trollex-fangirl, @glitchy-witchy1994, @blooeyedtroll, @kittyball23, @angoraram, @yeenstrollart, @asa-de-ouro, @whiteflame-selfship and many more, for all the beautiful commissions, gift art and loving support you have given me over the past four years, and for putting all your fantastic work and effort, and heart and soul into every single one which I absolutely love to this very day~💞🌟💙💜💛💚🌟💞 I can’t thank you all and the rest of the Trolls Fandom enough for how amazing and welcoming you’ve all been to me when I first jumped onto the bandwagon, and I am so happy I did too!💖🤗Thank-you all so much for everything, including all the dear friends I’ve made and all the loving supporters I have gained - bless you all and don’t stop being awesome~!✌🏻🤩✨💕 And finally, thank-you ever so much for everything, Cooper...my cupcake king and sweet jellybean~🩷♛🧁🫂For always being there for me, making me feel such love and happiness I never could imagine~💝🥰🌈I am truly blessed and the luckiest lass alive to such a wonderful darling like you in my life and by my side~💗😇🪽U///w///U

🎊💜♓💗♎💚🎉~Happy 4th Anniversary, Cooper...my beloved prince, my one & only...~ I love you so much with all my heart, more than life itself...and I will keep on loving you so, forevermore and beyond~🎉💜♓💗♎💚🎊

*~Reblogs are also deeply appreciated as well, so please do reblog as well as like! Thank-you kindly!~*

Cooper (c) DreamWorks Trolls/DreamWorks Animation

Trollsona Jussy/Justina Butterfly & Toby/Toby's Egg (c) @jade-green-butterfly​ (Me~!)

[veersnz]

News of a new Beginning

I am beyond exhausted right now but I wanted at least try and write something tonight. And where do I even begin… I’m overwhelmed by emotions right now, good ones I promise.

As today marks the day I finally graduated high-school. And some may wonder; « but Veer, you’re 22, how come you’re only graduating now ? »

The story is a little complicated but yes, I did start high-school just like everyone else my age over 8 years ago. 8 years ago was also when I started my recovery journey, and as with any journey, nothing is ever goes smoothly and to fulfill it I had to drop out of school. I tried my best over the years to go back and finish my education but I faced many challenges that made it nearly impossible. I managed to finish two of the three years of high-school over a period of 7 years between many hospital stays and periods of great difficulties. In my heart I knew I was getting too old to go back to high school, the gap between me and my peers was widening each year and with it grew the fear of going back, of feeling out of place, alone and crushed by the weight of my own expectations. I was raised believing my academic achievements made my worth and I’m sure many will relate to that, this fear of never being enough. So I almost made peace with never having the future I wished for. But truthfully, this future I had imagined for myself wasn’t mine, it was someone else’s dream. And I was left stranded on the shores of those wishes, not having the faintest idea of what my life would become. And I almost made peace with that.

I clung to those realizations until last September when I enrolled in this special needs school far away from my home. One last time, I thought, one more chance. I didn’t know what I wanted to do after that, if I even managed to stay until the end. But it didn’t matter, my family believed in me, so did my therapist and my friends, even after so many failed attempts they kept their faith intact. And this love, I think that’s what helped me make the decision.

So I took that leap of faith, got a small room and started living on my own for the first time while pursuing my education. I would lie if I said it was an easy ordeal, many obstacles came in my way and I almost gave up, many times. But with the help of my family, friends and the incredible people I met at this school I persevered. I am very aware of the incredible luck I had that September of 2023, being surrounded by so many loving and caring people. I couldn’t be more grateful. And you all count to, it may seem silly because this is « just a kink community » but I’ve met so many brave souls, incredible people and so much love even from afar. Having this positive presence in my life has brought me strength and respite sometimes from the outside world, even just for a moment sometimes. And for that I am eternally grateful.

And so after 11 months I am graduating with the highest honors and finally putting an end to this journey of 8 years. Of course the path to recovery will continue on, but I am turning to a new page of my life’s story and I couldn’t be happier and grateful. I’m still probably in shock and the realization will settle over me in the next few days. But today, today I know that I’ve reclaimed my future.

I know there will be many more challenges, uncertainty and pain to face but tonight I am basking in the happiness of having accomplished something my past self could only dream about. And I hope the parts of myself I left behind are proud of me.

Thank you ❤️

[celaenaeiln]

opinion on songs from Moana being used for dick? (Eg. How far I’ll go, Where you are and I am Moana)

Let's do this!

How Far I'll Go

How Far I'll Go is my guilty pleasure!

Listen, I'm so happy that Dick adores the stuffings out of family and friends and loves them with all his heart but please, I just need one self-indulgent piece of writing where he just abandons everything, takes a break, and goes on a long self-discovery journey via a roadtrip or something. Sometimes I feel like he's too busy being a part of everyone else's self-discovery journey that he doesn't get to enjoy what he wants to do. How Far I'll Go is a cumulation of Dick being the leader and taking on the leadership role while sacrificing his own needs. The lyrics express a longing for exploration and pushing boundaries, which also aligns with Dick's journey from Robin to Nightwing.

Furthermore, Dick Grayson's robin is characterized by a sense of adventure and exploration-

Detective Comics (2016) Issue #1000

literally.

And this need for adventure is what Moana and this song is all about. It's a craving, a desperate urge to go beyond the known and explore. Dick's known for his willingness to explore new territories, both physically and emotionally, often venturing into the unknown to protect his city and his loved ones.

The song is also about his desire for independence because like Moana, Dick Grayson grapples with his desire for independence while also feeling a sense of duty to his family and community.

It's actually a cycle. In the song it goes-

Every turn I take, every trail I track Every path I make, every road leads back

-and this is just a reflection of Dick's internal conflict between his personal aspirations of happiness and living his life vs his responsibilities as a hero and his duties as a leader of his community and the pillar of his family.

Where You Are

Where You Are is literally what I think Bruce wishes he could do to Dick lol. Except he's acting as the village and the father, not the grandma.

Don't walk away Moana, stay on the ground now Our people will need a chief, and there you are

These lyrics in particular -

🤌

*takes a deep breath in*

Now why does this sound familiar? :/

oh right, Bruce tells Dick that he needs a Batman whenever he's gone and he also tells Dick that his place as Robin is by Batman's side. This is also practically word-for-word what Cass says to Dick about his responsibilities of Batman.

Mainly this song is about sacrificing personal ambitions and desires to fulfill your duties.

That's right, we stay We're safe, and we're well provided And when we look to the future, there you are You'll be okay In time you'll learn just as I did You must find happiness right where you are

I don't think this song really needs any more explanation about how it's related to Dick because Dick's life practically embodies this song. It's sacrifice upon sacrifice he's done in order do his duties as Dick Grayson and Nightwing. This is his Eldest Daughter Syndrome song.

(Also just realized that without the background music this song is creepy af. Imagine the batfam singing the lines to him in a dark room where he hallucinates them. It's like a gothic horror story.)

I am Moana

Ooof. "I am Moana" is Dick Grayson's contant identity crisis song. In like every comic he's like "I was robin, I was nightwing, I was amnesic, I was Agent 37, I was Batman. But now I know that I am Dick Grayson."

Look at the lyrics-

I know a girl from an island She stands apart from the crowd She loves the sea and her people She makes her whole family proud Sometimes the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are

The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you And when that voice starts to whisper "Moana, you've come so far" Moana listen, do you know who you are?

Who am I? I am a girl who loves my island And the girl who loves the sea, it calls me I am the daughter of the village chief We are descended from voyagers Who found their way across the world They call me

I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all It's inside me It's like the tide Always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart You'll remind me That come what may I know the way

I am Moana!

Just replace girl with boy, add correct context, change Moana to Dick Grayson and boom! There you have him. "I am Moana" is Dick's Agent 37 arc.

Grayson Issue #1

"Dick, you've come so far" Dick listen, do you know who you are?

Grayson Issue #20

[ernmark]

Juno Steel and the Case Closed (part 1) reaction

It's been a while since I've done one of these, hasn't it?

But it's the last episode, and I wanted to be here for the end. So if you'd like, some thoughts and theories under the cut:

It was a solid choice to have Nureyev go-- to make this final story about Juno and his world and his life, rather than specifically about their relationship. But also, the choices made around Nureyev's leaving-- holy shit.

Because here's a man who's spent the last twenty years entirely defined by his relationship with one man, and now he's cut loose and of course he's flailing to re-establish himself in a different orbit. And you can hear it in his voice, where it rises into something halfway to panic (amazing job, Noah Simes), and you can feel exactly how horribly wrong it's going to go if he goes down that road. And then there's Juno, who's healthy enough to be the voice of reason, even when it hurts him? Who makes it clear he's willing to wait until Nureyev is ready for him? Oh my god, that's perfection. (And Nureyev going maybe back to Brahma-- my little fanfic writer heart did a leap there). Nureyev may very well be back next episode (I suspect he will, if only for the final moments), but I really like this as an ending of their arc-- not the neatly laced up riding off into the sunset together, but looking forward to that sunset and being actually ready for it when it comes. It makes my heart feel so good.

--

And from that happy moment, to have Juno go back to Hyperion, to his office, and immediately start slipping back into his worst self? Oh, that's too real-- in a way that I am very happy with. Because he isn't 'fixed'. Juno 'born-a-sad-baby' Steel won't ever be 'fixed', not by romance or a vacation or a wonderful new family dropping him reminders of how much they love him. What's wrong with him isn't something that can be fixed-- but this time around it's different. This time around, when he yells at Rita she stands up to him (with a small, tremulous voice, because goddamn standing up to people you love is terrifying). I am so proud of her for that, and of him for backing off. It takes a palpable effort for him to rein himself in, but he's making that effort-- and he knows how, in a way that I don't think he did in those early seasons. It's a choice he's making, over and over again, just like it's a choice he makes to keep replaying Jet's wisdom instead of drowning his misery in tequila.

(Another kudos there: that Juno's problem isn't addiction, not the same way it is for Jet-- alcohol isn't a problem for him when things are going well, but it's easier to retreat into a bottle than to deal with his feelings. It's a distinction you don't see very often. Honestly, the way this show has dealt with addiction has been really refreshing to see.)

I've said from the beginning that one of the things that really drew me to this show was how it handles Juno's depression-- as a genuine mental illness that's an inherent part of him. And it's enheartening to see him struggle with it, but now be able to reach out for the tools and the support he needs. And that support doesn't have to be Jet literally talking him away from the bottle, or Rita or Nureyev petting him and making him feel better. He can reach for the pieces of them that they leave behind. And he can wish the Ruby 7 a good journey home, and send Nureyev to find himself, not without pain and grief, but without completely losing himself to it.

That kind of story gives me so much more hope than any kind of 'happily ever after' ever could.

--

And then the designated mystery, which has me so freakin' excited:

Nightmare.

She is the culmination of so many plot threads that I've been picking up on for so long and I'd completely forgotten about, and I am so freaking excited to see it.

I was in such a rough place emotionally when we last visited the most obvious of those threads, I genuinely don't remember if I posted meta about it or not, but it definitely struck some bells:

When Juno rescued Rita from Dark Matters, the safehouse she was in was described as being full of items that were clearly meant for a child. At the same time, Sasha was having Rita destroy all evidence of her own life so thoroughly that not even Rita herself would be able to find traces afterward.

It seemed most obvious to me that she was hiding a child (one that, I didn't realize until Juno remarked on Nightmare's area code, could have been hidden in the suddenly repopulated New Town without anybody asking inconvenient questions about who she was or where she came from). Also her taking care of a child would explain her ever-escalating reactionary tendencies-- she certainly wouldn't be the first parent who descended into authoritarianism in a misguided attempt to protect someone.

So some theories about who and what Nightmare is:

Alessandra's daughter is the most obvious, of course. (I still hold onto that theory that Sasha was either the Worst Client that Juno told Alessandra Strong about, or else that Sasha was the cheating spouse in that story.)

Nightmare could be Annie Wire's daughter-- assuming that Annie survived the factory, grew up, had a child of her own, and then died for real this time, leaving her grieving sister to raise her niece.

Nightmare could be Annie Wire herself-- dead, kept in stasis, revived by Dark Matters technology, and then whisked away to the safe house.

Nightmare could be a clone of Sasha and/or Annie. Honestly, not digging this theory, but I might as well throw it out there.

Nightmare could herself be a Radical, not unlike the Ruby 7, who's taken on Sasha's appearance and stayed that way ever since (after all, Sasha would have been at just about the right age when she was recruited by Dark Matters)

From a narrative standpoint, I'm most fond of the idea of Nightmare either being Annie or Annie's daughter, personally. Because that's literally the second mystery we were given, and it was pointedly never solved. As much as I like the idea that some mysteries just aren't and you have to make peace with that, I'm a big fan of long games like this, and of tugging on threads from the beginning of a story when you're wrapping up the end. That's especially true for Sasha's arc closing here, back in Hyperion City. Sasha's voice was one of the very first that we heard in this series, and Sasha's trajectory has always been a funhouse mirror version of Juno's. She's always been an integral part of his story. It seems fitting that her story gets wrapped up alongside his.

[yougottalovebuckybarnes]

A/N: Hi everyone! After a LONG time, I have finally returned to writing! :) It has been a long journey for me offline, but I am proud to say that I have finally graduated from college! This fic is a little self-indulgent, but I thought it would be a good way to kick off my return to writing! I hope you enjoy!

-M <3

=======

Proud (Bucky x Reader)

========

My heart thudded heavily in my chest, my breathing short and shaky as the sound of cheering entered my ears. Bright lights flooded my vision as I exited the short tunnel into the stadium, but my vision adjusted quickly to find the rather large venue filled to the brim with people.

Friends, family, lovers….

Everyone was here to celebrate with us. And what a magnificent occasion it was. After a lengthy five years, I had finally reached the end of my college journey. The moment I had pressed submit on my final assignment for one of my required courses had been one of the most freeing ones of my whole life. The urge to both laugh and cry had hit me all at once, and I celebrated in quite an exciting manner with the love of my life.

Bucky. God, I loved that man more than he would ever know. To be quite honest, I did not know if I would have even reached the end of my program without his support. 5 am coffee runs, continuous attempts to make me laugh when my papers drove me to tears, encouraging texts on the days of my in person finals… his support was endless. I could not have ever wished for a more perfect partner.

The joy of finally completing college had slightly dimmed when Bucky had told me two weeks ago that he was scheduled to be out of the country on a mission the week of my commencement ceremony. The heartache in his eyes nearly saddened me more than the fact that he wouldn’t be there at all. He had truly wanted to be there as much as I did. That warmed my heart just as much as him being there.

But still, my heart remained hopeful. My eyes carefully scanned the overwhelming number of people in the confined space, trying to identify the man that I loved amongst them. But my hope slowly depleted as the seconds passed by, unable to find him. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I found my seat, waiting patiently as the ceremony began.

My nerves as I walked across the stage to accept my diploma turned into happiness, finally having accomplished one of the hardest adventures of my life. My next steps post graduation were uncertain, but there was no need to worry about that for now. The only thing I knew was that I would have Bucky by my side. There was no need to worry about the future with that in mind.

Following a few last parting words from our university’s president, we were released from the stadium. With a few parting goodbyes to my close friends, I emerged from the tunnel to where the crowd waited to greet their graduates. I watched with a small smile as all my peers met with their families, the sound of laughter and the sight of smiles filling the space. With one last look, I turned to make my way back to my car to make my drive home. But the feeling of arms around my waist caused me to stop, my heart nearly stopping in my chest as I heard an all too familiar chuckle from behind me.

“You weren’t really going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?” Becky’s voice was soft but raspy in my ear, and a smile grew across my lips before I turned around.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, letting out a watery laugh as I embraced him tightly. “I can’t believe you made it.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, doll.” Bucky mused softly, kissing the top of my head. “I also threatened to kick Sam’s ass if he didn’t get us back in time.”

“You’re too mean to him, you know.” I shake my head with a grin, pulling back to look at him fully. “But just this once, I’m glad you added a little pressure. I’m so happy to see you.”

“’m so happy that I made it back in time.” Bucky cupped my face gently in his hands, his smile bright as he gazed down at me. “I’m so proud of you, baby. You did it!”

“I did it.” I repeated softly, my eyes pricking with tears slightly at his words. “I did it.”

Bucky leaned in to kiss me, just a gentle brush of his lips against mine before pulling away, letting his forehead rest against mine. “Let’s go celebrate you properly, shall we?”

“What did you have in mind?” I inquired with a laugh, taking his hand in mine as we walked towards my car to make our journey to wherever our next destination would be.

“ Just you wait, Y/N.” Bucky chuckled, kissing the side of my head. “It’s a surprise worthy of a college graduate. “

—-

A/N: i know, that ending was ass. I’m sorry😭

[idanceuntilidie]

Ik this is probably a wierd request, but how would Marshall react to finding out his darling is trans (female-to-male)? Like the reasons he hadn't found out before is they allways wear baggy clothing to bed and all and just he somehow finds out eventually. Sorry if you don't do trans readers or anything or are uncomfortable with it. Really like your writing ^^<3

This isn’t a weird request, and I am very comfortable with it, though I wasn’t sure how to bite it since it’s my first time writing something like this! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING MY WRITING,  

I took a long break because I felt a lil self-conscious I am glad someone people like it :D   I am a trans man myself, and I wish my fellow trans peeps the best   Remember you are loved and accepted no matter what   Before I start I wanna say, Marshall is very accepting, he wouldn’t mind if his s/o was a trans man or woman, he really doesn’t care about his darlings gender.     Requests are open, remember I don’t bite     Yan Creep x trans male reader

no warnings! Though Marshall did break in…

Does this count as fluff?

The window slowly creaked open, letting the intruder slip in quietly and unnoticed. Marshall let out a sight of satisfaction, another successful break in, he smiled proudly as he loomed over you.  There you were his favorite boy. Sleeping so peacefully, it feels special.  Humans are the most vulnerable in their sleep, you are the most vulnerable when you sleep.  

He met you for the first time earlier today, boy was smitten, so he decided to find where you live for now. Collect materials (basically steal your underwear), take few photos and spend some quality time with you.   

He took few things from your drawers and took many photos of your face. It was enough, for now. Marshall knows he will be back for more and he can’t wait.  While he was roaming your drawers he found a photo, of a younger kid. It was you there was no doubt, but you looked different.    Oh, OH you are trans! He figures. He couldn’t tell because of your baggy clothes; you are so smart. It doesn’t matter that you are trans though. He loves you no matter what and will accept you through your journey.  

It feels so good knowing that one secret of yours. You WANTED him to find this, so the two of you would get to know each other better! 

Giddy he laid next to you, cuddling up to you, burying his face in the crook of your neck.  

God you were such a pretty boy, and it must be so hard when people don’t respect you or your identity, or when some days you can’t accept yourself. Marshall hugs you tighter, you are so brave, and he is so proud of you. He will be there for the good and bad, because he loves you so. Sooner or later, you will love him too.    I hope this was okay!! Have a great day/night anon <3 

[lululawrence]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

HIIIII omg I love whoever started this going around so much and THANK YOU for sending this to me!!! I also got this from @haztobegood and @allwaswell16 so thank you to ALL OF YOU really! I love love love this kinda thing and hope I haven't missed all of your lists... i'll have to be sure to look for those here soon hehe

Anyway, in no particular order, here are my fav fics I've written... (I think... lol favorites are HARD):

I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) - This was my big bang for this year and man it was a JOURNEY to write. I first came up with the idea as almost a crack fic idea back when I first was listening to Satellite... you know... when it was first released. lol I just didn't have the time or energy or anything to write it but I held onto the idea for ages and had it mostly brainstormed and everything! And then the time came to write it and... I couldn't find my notes. Anywhere. No idea what happened to the fic idea or my ramblings about it so I just did what I could with recreating it from memory and I still didn't know where or how or when it would end exactly, I just knew their journey would be over when it was over, and they spoke to me. When their story was done, I knew. And I am still so fucking proud of how it turned out and @moon-sun-thyme made the most incredible and gorgeous art for it, truly. Just. Probably gonna forever be one of my favorite fics I've ever written.

What I Have With You (I don't want with anyone else) - ohhhhhhh THIS FIC OKAY. It's my aspec alpha babies fic. I wrote it as a collaboration with @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed for @1dreversebang a few years ago now and it is still so special to me. I got to really delve into the aspec identities by embodying both Louis and Harry with one of those identities (aro Harry, ace Louis) and then added some non-traditional omegaverse dynamics (alpha/alpha) AND one of my all time favorite tropes, FAKE DATING! It was also a journey to write this fic and I worked so hard to make sure I really felt like I was doing justice to our identities and trying to give good and valid and understandable representation to them, and I really think I was able to achieve that. Some of the comments have been the most thoughtful and humbling and just beautiful I've ever gotten as well, which is just the cherry on top, right? So yeah, this baby defo gets to be on this list for sure hehe

You Don't Care About Me (One More Night) - This fic is one of those instances where you write what you want to read, you know what I mean? I had been craving a fic like this one, and I'd read some similar ones but I wanted MORE. The more I thought about it, the more the idea shaped up, and before I knew it I had (I wish I was joking) something like SIX PAGES of brainstorming with the timing laid out and what would happen when to make sure it was slow burn enough but also character development at the right pace and also just... everything I wanted, you know? I've never outlined a fic to that level before and I probably never will again, but after outlining it like that, I then went and wrote this fic, which was the longest fic I'd ever written to that point, in less than a month. It just flowed from me every time I sat down at my computer. It turned out exactly as I had hoped, and it is one of the few fics of mine that I have gone back to read repeatedly. I've not actually read it all the way through repeatedly, there's usually just bits and pieces I'm craving at the moment, but that's still far more than I generally do with my own fics. So I'll take it hehe

a moon, a rainbow, and a carnation - Okay okay okay, there's a lot about this one that makes this one something I'm super proud of, even though it feels ridiculous because it was a fic I wrote for this year's @wordplayfics, but there's a lot of reasons why I really am proud of it lol For one, I'm still new to writing Oscar and Pedro, and I love them SO much but I've only written them in one fic previously (and it isn't even out yet lololol) but!!! Its only the second fic I've ever written with a decent amount of Spanish in it. The lovely @nouies has been so kind as to cheerlead me about the pairings as well as help me with the Spanish, and we have had SO much fun omg. She helped me SO MUCH with this fic, and I so appreciate it and am so happy with how it was able to turn out because of her help! I also tried a new footnotes thing with the translations that turned out to work even better than I anticipated, and that just makes it even better, right? So yeah. I'm proud of it because I did all of that AND ALL WITHIN A WEEK. YASSSS

'Cause What I Want Came True - Okay so once again this one is one that Lou indulged me on because who doesn't love Diego Luna, hmm? lol but I was struggling with Wordplay again and suddenly I came upon a few quotes and an entire soft and hazy idea presented itself that I just HAD to write. It is almost semi-stream of consciousness while also not being quite that way, and I just really REALLY love how it turned out. I've actually already gone back and reread this one and the previous one on this list since publishing, and they've only been out for a week or two at this point. That's impressive and very rare for me. So yeah, quite proud.

I am missing some others that I would probably say are favorites, but you did limit me to five. lololol and These were the five I thought of off the top of my head haha so they will do for now hehe THANK YOU SO MUCH for asking and letting me ramble about my fics for a little bit!! sorry this got so looooong....

[hornytome]

Hello everyone!! Finally time for an update. I’ve put it off because of nerves too long.

So, basically: I’m not a butch lesbian (anymore)! I’m actually bi and transmasc.

Shockingly, my girlfriend is no longer a femme lesbian either! She’s also bisexual. Still a girly girl though.

We both went through a parallel simultaneous journey of discovering we’re bi.

It’s as upsetting as it sounds!! Will not lie!

She calls me her boyfriend now and our sex revolves around penetrative sex. We have a realistic cock and I’m trying constantly to find a new more realistic one.

We haven’t actually slept with a man quite yet, though. We may never, to be honest.

There was… A guy… We both struggled immensely with our attraction to him, and our OCD played a large part in that. We both got over it and realized we definitely have a crush on him. That’s… simmering away right now. No idea where it’s going to go. He’s a good guy.

This has fundamentally changed our view of monogamy. We’re still prescribing to the concept of monogamy, and I suppose our rule is that if we’re both interested in the same person, then we don’t mind too much.

So, I guess I should explain why I was dragging my feet. Hornytome took off way more than I ever expected it to. I gained a massive wlw and lesbian following, and I’m so proud of who’ve I’ve brought together and modeled healthy love for.

For a long time, I identified as a lesbian, and that felt like my authentic self. I wasn’t lying to anyone, or misconstruing truths. In making this blog, I wished to explore my lesbianism. In living and growing beside this blog, I discovered a lot more.

So, to be very clear, I’m bisexual, transmasc, and a lot happier than when I started this blog. My attraction to women is gay, and my attraction to men is ALSO gay. Beat that!

That leaves me with a conundrum then. What to do with my blog? I’d love to keep posting, but a vast number of you are wlw. Perhaps I could stick to talking about Edith and I on this blog?

No matter what happens, this is no longer specifically a lesbian blog. And I’m sorry if that disappoints some of you. I really, really am. But being dishonest to myself helps no one. You haven’t lost a comrade, you gained one!

So. That’s why I’ve been gone! 6+ months of processing a major life change. I want to get back into stories. Maybe shoot me some ideas 🌝

Anyways! I’m going to be tagging this with old and new tags, just to reach as far as possible.

Edit: Also: stories will not revolve exclusively around men!! I like fucking my girlfriend a whole lot!

[fernnshxj]

Eeeeehhh, okay okay okay!! Info dump time! Hope you ready!!

So, as I mentioned before (I think I have said so before, idk-), Joan will unfortunately pass away from an illness that is incurable in that time (ya know, cancer). She would have tried to figure out a remedy so that she can be back on her feet but it is all in vain. She feels herself getting weaker, it’s harder to take a breath, to move, everything… She does not tell Kuno or Finja, she wishes not to burden them with this. They notice she doesn’t appear as active but she brushes them off.

Fun fact: The veil from her hat not only works to completely hide the details of her appearance but it can also be used as a sort of magical window that can see things the normal eye can’t see, specifically the divine and spiritual. Which means Häxa keeps seeing this one figure in the distance. It is dark, and at first very, very far but not malicious. She ignores it at first but the sicker she gets, the closer the figure is. It takes a while but she realizes who the figure is: Death. Not the one she had fought and killed, no, that one was a mere entity who called itself that. It was not one of True Death’s reapers but True Death herself. She is kind, patient, caring. She keeps getting closer and Häxa realizes she doesn’t have much longer to live, so she writes a letter to her friends. Kuno and Finja get their letters from different crows and the letters go like this:

‘I am sorry. I am sorry but I cannot keep hiding this anymore. I have been getting weaker by the day and I did not have the courage to tell you. I keep seeing her. I keep seeing True Death every time I wear the hat. She is getting closer. I wish I had told you sooner, maybe I would have been more at peace than I am now. This is my last letter to you. I am so proud to have been able to accompany you this far but I am afraid my journey ends here. 

For so long, I was nothing but a shell of my former self. For so long, I have forgotten my name. For so long, I forgot that I was only human. For so long, I forgot I was not a weapon. 

I know we did not get along at first but getting to know you both has been a blessing. You were like a breath of fresh air to me. You gave me life again, even if it didn’t seem like it. You became my family. I will cherish you both as I rest eternally. I wish I had done more for you but now I can only hope that we can reunite in whatever afterlife there is or maybe even in a new life. I hope we meet again.

-Häxa’

And with each letter they got, they got a lotus flower colored their respective colors (blue for Kuno and red for Finja) and a medallion with Häxa’s emblem (or whatever it be called).

Meanwhile, with the last bit of her strength, Joan would have gone to a secluded part of a forest where she laid herself to rest, surrounded by moonflowers. She awoke and was greeted by the sight of a lady so pale with long, black hair and bright golden eyes. She wore a mofuku (funeral kimono apparently!) her whole body covered except her face. She had a smile on her face, one filled with melancholy. She whispers softly ‘It’s time to go’ and extended her hand to Joan. Joan hesitates. She is scared, which is rare for her. She hasn’t been scared in so long... But she’ll see her sisters again… She’ll finally be at peace…

And so she takes True Death’s hand.

-And das what I have so far! Hope you liked this info dump and if it made you cry then good, I achieved my goal! Häxa angst be best angst!-

love me some angst……yeeessss……

did a doodle as well just cuz

miori isn’t scared of dying and she knows people die and she will too someday. but it would probably affect her if one of the only people she trusts dies outta no where. hehe :3

idk why i’m jsut now realizing this is formatted kinda funny apologizes i’m not gonna fix it lazy :3

feel free to gimme more lore if u want!!! i think it’s neat n interesting :3 !,!! makes me wanna lore dump too hrmmm…,.., might

[vacayisland]

Hiii! Not a request but a question, I hope that's alright!

Seeing your writing has made me pretty inspired and I've been wanting to do trolls fics of my own! I've been struggling a lot w some characters, though, especially Floyd

My question is how you figure out their personalities and way of speaking enough to write for them? Unlike the others, we don't really see much of Floyd outside of his brothers TwT so I'm just not sure how to get his character right, but I feel like you do him justice! Feel free not to answer btw!! Hope you're doing well ♡♡

I actually really love answering questions like that, or generally any writing-based question; as long as I help people get inspired to write or help them in their creative journey, that’s what I am here for after all!

So, personally, my way of writing tends to be a little different than other people’s (at least I think it is) but my way of researching characters tends to be the same. So I’m going to try and do some sort of justice of explaining this! Bear with me please and if you have any other questions just ask me.

With characters like Floyd, I tend to find him easier to do. Both because I focused a lot on him during the movie and when it first released, and because he has such little screen time. Of course that’s both a blessing and a curse, because not many will realize that Floyd has a slightly sarcastic way of humor (or at least I didn’t the first few times watching the movie).

Yet with any character you would want to research on them! And that’s a little easier written than done but this is what I did for JD (who was harder for me to grasp on):

When I first saw the movie, I thought JD was what he was first presented as. A rude bastard who didn’t know when his family was upset and pushed them to do things anyways. And while he’s a little bit of that he’s actually a lot more.

Unlike Floyd, JD gets a bunch of screen time that writers should take advantage of! If the background, if you watch JD, you can see the little things that make him not fully a jerk. Such as the upset look he gets whenever a brother goes to Branch first instead of him, and yet how he tries to act like it didn’t bother him. Showing no matter how much of a hard ass he was he does actually are about his brothers in his own weird way.

I also looked upon different sites and saw what they described his personality as. Then I watched the movie, picked what I thought to be true, and honestly that’s what I go on. It’s kind of always changing because no matter how ‘cannon’ you’re trying to write a character there should always be a little self influence of you in them.

Not saying to completely derail a character and make them not cannon, but have fun with it. Take aspects of their character as you wish and just keep practicing and rewriting lines until you feel like it’s correct.

But JD is always harder for me to do, so that’s why I want to do him more. The more practice the better.

For characters like Floyd, who have minimum screen time, I find easier because they don’t have a stricter personality box. From what we see in the movie, what I’ve gathered from websites and other writers (reader other people’s work! They might actually inspire how you write a character a lot), Floyd is sensitive yet witty. He’s smart and caring.

That’s our base line, four traits that are easy to write because they don’t have much to them. THEYRE just traits! Then we can take a few of Floyd’s voice lines to base how can mimic speaking like him; And he speaks a little like Branch but a little on the nicer tone to people he actually cares about.

I don’t know if that makes sense or if it actually helps at all, but it’s a weird process. It’s all about how do you make yourself most comfortable playing and writing the character. Do we much research as you need, take your time! There’s no rush to publish fan fictions, there’s no rush to do anything.

Remember to post only what you’re proud of and what you enjoy. Writing is a process that gets slightly easier the more you practice it, and sometimes it gets harder. But just enjoy it along the way and write only when it feels right. :)

But happy writing and please tag me in any post you publish! I’ll love to read your work.