#i am organizing fabric in the background

[rthwrms]

bit hyperbolic cause its a fine book but i swear everytime they bring up h*rry p*tter i dock five respect points ffrom the tally

has anyone else read this book? thoughts???

[callofdudes]

Keegan P. Russ x Autistic Reader

A/n: Once again, I myself am not autistic, I'm just here to try and spread love to you guys through characters. If any of this is wrong you can feel free to let me know ♥️

Keegan had a small circle. He didn't people a whole lot but mentoring the new kids that somehow ended up under his wing kind of became his thing. Like the unethical uncle whose closer in age to you than your parents kinda thing.

So when he heard you'd be joining the team he knew you were damn good. They hadn't had someone join for a while considering how tight knit that were, under the radar and skilled.

So whoever you were, you were worthy and Keegan could recognize that. Even if he'd test for himself your limits on field.

When you first met him he wasn't exactly what you'd expected. The others looked somewhat presentable and there was... Keegan. 😂😅

You were nervous to impress them and didn't want to fail. You were given the opportunity to work with the ghost team. You didn't want to screw it up.

When you met him, those first few days were extremely anxiety inducing. Shaking his hand and struggling to keep your eyes in one place.

"Eyes on me soldier."

"Sorry sir." You whispered, looking up at him briefly before your eyes darted away somewhere else again.

"Have trouble with eye contact soldier?"

"Yes sir... Sorry."

"That's fine. Just address me respectfully. We'll work on the eye contact."

You nod a little, following after him while Logan and Hesh follow after.

It didn't take too long. He eventually got his hands on your proper file instead of word of mouth and got to reading. This is where he discovered you are autistic.

Ah, so that explained eye contact. He doesn't know a lot about autism. He knows it makes a person neurologically different from others. But that was about it.

He just shrugged and went along with it, figuring he could learn from watching you. Since staying in the background and watching was his thing.

He watched you attempt to socialize with the others. They were all relatively quiet, all except for Hesh and Logan, who were riding the excitement of a new member.

They were a family and happy to welcome you and your skills in.

Over time Keegan got to noticing little things about you. How you flinched and at louder noises and your nose scrunched whenever you accidentally touched something you didn't like.

Especially the masks that they had for you guys to optionally wear. They were scratchy and tight and just didn't feel the best. Immediately turning down the offer to wear it.

Keegan noticed how you are your food, what you would refuse and what you'd eat. Your little organized piles, as well as with your new room.

Huh, autism definitely had its perks. That what he thought at first. One mission where you were forced to wear the mask for clearance purposes changed that.

You were stuck in this tight, itchy thing. It made your face too hot and pulled at your cheeks. You kept tugging it and trying to move it, scrunching up when it rubbed on your skin.

"Keep up kid." Keegan called behind him as he walked further along the old road. Your feet picked back up, silently following while trying to just get over the feeling of the mask.

Everything was going good, the air was quiet, the enemies were still. The ghost team doing what it did best.

Until the stress, the mask, the smell of the air through the fabric, and something inside you all too familiar snapped.

You dropped your gun at your hilt, immediately clawing at the thing desperately. Keegan whipped around, gun aimed until he saw it.

"Kid- kid, easy." He went over, attempting to pull your hands away but tears filled your eyes. "Get it off- get it off! Get it off!" You choked, voice cutting into nothing.

"You need to keep it on, it's fine."

You sobbed, finally pulling the edge, trying to rip it off your face, so Keegan stepped in. Pushing your back against the wall, his knee pressing into you as he gently pulled the mask off, letting you breathe.

Your back against the wall was grounding, breathing in air, rubbing your sweaty face of the afterfeeling. "Easy... Keep your head in the game, kid."

After that Keegan decided to do some more digging. He hadn't seen you looked so panicked.

That's where he learned about your sensitivity to different things and how textured, tastes, smells, touch, all can be affected.

And he felt that protectiveness. He didn't have to, but he went to the main office and got a different mask approved. It was a smoother, almost silk texture. Not too heavy, and it was loose. Next mission he gave it to you.

"Kid, try this." He tossed you the mask and in a last second you caught it, looking at it. "For me?" You looked back up at him.

"Keep your helmet on straight, you should be fine." He grabs his gun, nodding. "Wanna help you do your job right, right?"

You smiled softly. "Right."

From that point on Keegan pretty much adopted you. You were a good fighter, sometimes getting overwhelmed. When you were alone down in the compound with the others in the building, he was there.

"Keegan..."

"Talk to me kid, what do ya need?"

"I don't know what to do..." Your breathing was picking up as you looked at all the corners and empty fields.

Keegan nodded, grabbing the monitor. "Alright, couple feet in front of you, then you'll make a left. Should be two guys at the end of that wall. Take them down."

Keegan walked you through. It became habit to help you through when you needed it or felt unsure and overwhelmed.

And if anyone attempted to bully you or point it out? I pray for their soul, because God is the last thing they'll be talking to after that.

Keegan is pretty protective of you, and overtime You've grown closer to you. You opened up about your life with autism over drinks one evening. Telling him about the good and the bad.

Keegan wasn't the hugest talker, so he listened. Eyes on you, he tipped his drink to his mouth as you talked about autism. And then slowly throughout telling some of your life story you dragged onto topics of your favorite game characters or action figures. Iconic music people you liked or movies. And Keegan listened with interest.

You two talked until the bar closed and Keegan covered the tab, escorting you out the door.

"Keegan." You touched his arm.

He turned before getting in the car, looking at you. "Yeah?"

"Thanks. People usually say I'm annoying... You listened though."

Keegan hummed. "Always listening kid. Always."

You chuckled and rolled your eyes playfully. You got in the car and the two of you headed home.

After a nightmare of the battlefield, you would usually just hide. Your weight blanket under your bed usually worked. Your other squadmates hated you and you first started having nightmares around them.

But this time, breathing heavy, tears in your eyes, you found yourself at Keegan's door.

Keegan grumbled as he unlocked it and looked at you. "Kid... Y'ok?"

You shake your head, trembling. "Can I... Stay with you?"

There was a tense moment. Keegan didn't let many people into his room, or his bed, for any reason on that matter. But something tugged on that heart of his buried somewhere in there.

"Come in. Get comfy as you need."

You nodded gratefully and came over. Keegan let you lay down, smelling the familiar smell of Keegan on the sheets. Seeing his room for the first time. If was dark, there weren't any vibrant colors or patterns so it wasn't as much to look at.

But sometimes that's nice.

Keegan sat in the chair by his desk, looking at you, watching you get all situated in bed.

"Keegan can..." You sniffed. "Can you lay on top of me?"

He frowned. "What for?"

"Just... Please, it's complicated."

Keegan could see in your eyes you weren't pulling his leg so he did. Crawling into bed, making sure you were comfy on your back before slotting himself on top of you, arms wrapped around you a little, head settling.

"This ok?"

You wrapped your arms around him tightly. "Yes, thank you." You whispered. And within 20 minutes you were back asleep. With a warm, known body against yours.

Keegan has got your back. It's something you've slowly come to realize over time. Whether it be helping with food, environment, being a giant human weight blanket, talking you through missions, letting you ramble about anything you'd like.

You found yourself smiling with this family. Getting a chuckle out of him as you rambled on and on about things you wanted so desperately to talk about. Stuff someone was willing to hear.

This was a place that made you feel safe, a person you felt safe with.

Keegan could probably do some more research, and he promises he will find the time for it, but for now, he will learn alongside you as you grow more and more into an even better soldier.

[regretsofaghost]

You Really Know How to Let Someone Down

prev- Let Me Break Your Heart

ao3 link- here

                “Fentonworks, currently working on a new slogan, Maddie speaking.”

                There was breathing on the other end of the line.

                “Hello, is this Madeline Fenton?”

                A sigh, weary, too many phone calls in too short of a time frame.

                “Yes, it is. I’m sorry, who am I speaking to?’

                “No need for introductions, I’m just calling to ask the whereabouts of your son, Daniel.”

                There was a thud in the background, like something heavy had been placed down, or dropped. There was shuffling before Maddie’s voice was heard again.

                “Who am I speaking to? If this is the school again I already told you-“

                “Did you know your son was spotted in Gotham? Curious, isn’t it? Since your cover story is he’s in Wisconsin with Vladimir Masters, his godfather."

                Maddie didn’t say anything, but that was okay, Tim could be patient when he wanted to be.

                “I don’t know who you think you are, but Danny is perfectly safe with his godfather. You must have confused him with someone else, heaven knows Gotham has more than its fair share of black-haired, blue-eyed boys.”

                Tim had to laugh; she wasn’t wrong.

                “Just a concerned citizen. You know minors can’t be legally emancipated until the age of 16, right Mrs. Fenton? Unless there are extenuating circumstances of course. And that’s if you want to do it legally.” Tim let himself pause, waiting to see if Maddie would offer a rebuttal, “You did know he was in Gotham, didn’t you?”

                The line went dead.

                Danny’s hands held onto Batman as best they could, clenching tightly around his cape’s fabric. Batman’s arms around him, holding him, a grasp that didn’t feel suffocating but comforting, something Danny hadn’t felt in so long. It was both similar and so unlike his da-Jack’s hugs, all-encompassing in their love but unlike dad-Jack’s, Batman’s did not leave Danny feeling trapped. Danny could easily pull himself out, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay in that comforting embrace, the one that made everything feel small and conquerable. But all things come to an end.

                It wasn’t safe for Danny to get so attached to Batman, with Batman came the Robins, both old and new, and despite the comfort he currently felt, he still didn’t know how to explain his actions against the smallest one. Danny had both attacked and saved the newest Robin, he had both tried to kill and save him. Would the Bats really believe it was due to mind control?

                Sam’s words about his stars came to mind, but it was hard to believe. If he could remember his stars, why couldn’t he remember not to be a villain? Why did he cut the tightrope? What snapped him out of the control and let him dive to save the smallest bird?

                Danny wanted to believe that they would believe him, understand him, but he couldn’t.

                Last time he ran on belief, he ended up learning what his organs looked like.

                Maybe it was a sound, a noise, one too quiet for most to hear. Or maybe it was his ghost sense. Danny didn’t know. One second, he was being held by Batman, the next he was flying. One second, he believed he was safe, the next he knew he wasn’t. It couldn’t have been because of Batman, right?

                Maybe it had been an ambush, but Danny had set up the meeting. No one even knew he wanted it to happen. He just waited until Batman showed up.

                Batman was safe, Batman was protective of his Robins.

                Batman knew his face.

                Danny just wanted to be safe.

                Bruce sighed, feeling the exact moment the weight against him disappeared. He turned back on his comms, Oracle’s voice coming through, signalling that Daniel had indeed left the area.

                “-skittish! Just wait till B gives the all clea-“

                “Oracle, pull up my cam and see what you can recover from the last five minutes.”

                “On it! …soooo he was there?”

                “Yes.”

                “…is he gone?”

                “Hrn.”

                It was silent over the comms as Barbara worked, the rest of the Bats waiting for the reply as well. Slowly conversation started up again, though notably it was nothing casual. Every word spoken felt like it was ready to be interrupted, every criminal brought down quickly so they wouldn’t miss when Barbara was done.

                They were all worried about their resident ghost.

                Time seemed to stop when Barbara finally spoke up.

                “It’s all static after you went off comms. All camera footage is corrupted like there was some major electrical interference. I was able to clean up the image enough to have partial features, mostly just colours though. Make sure to check your devices to see if they’ve been fried.”

                Bruce landed on a rooftop, keeping a careful eye out as he checked over his equipment. As he did so, he began to speak. “Red Robin, report on the Fenton front.”

                “Madeline Fenton stuck with the cover story she gave the school but hung up when I pushed. The only phone I could find was the landline, none of the family members have cell phone plans, doesn’t mean they don’t use burners, but I can’t find them if they do. A point in their favour is that cell phones aren’t a big thing in Amity Park, which is pretty weird-“

                Damien’s voice cuts in, “That could be due to the ghost activity. Every time Phantom appears close by our comm links and video go down, often frying them. Oracle, pay attention to surveillance cameras that go down for a short period of time so we can find him again tonight.”

                “Hrn.”

                The comms fell silent again, Bruce’s grunt stopping them in a way that it rarely did.

                “Leave it. We need to figure out the Fenton’s connection to Phantom first. I’ll continue to be the main point of contact with him-“ a snort interrupted Bruce.

                “Him being a ghost doesn’t stop the adoption addiction does it B?” Tim’s voice cut in.

                Bruce was silent for a moment longer. “Not just a ghost. He keeps saying Schrodinger’s cat, both dead and alive. Red Robin and Oracle, I want you both to try to gain access to the Fenton’s computers.”

                The comms went silent again, “Wait, is this looking for Daniel or Phantom?”

                “Both.”

                 “…you think the Fenton’s experimented on him, don’t you?”

                “There is a reason the Fenton’s denounced all their prior research three months ago. I want to know why. We will discuss this further in the Cave.”

                “I’m holding you to that B.” Tim said before his comm turned off.

                “Fentonworks, this is Maddie speaking.”

                “… someone knows,” a quiet voice said, much too soft. Maddie felt her breath hitch, hating how scared her boy sounded.

                “Who knows sweetie?” she thought of the odd call she got the other day, it hadn’t been half a year yet, they couldn’t have already been found out.

                “Maddie-“ she flinched at the name, she tried to remember she had no right to being called mom anymore, “-I don’t want to leave.”

                 Maddie tried to steady her breathing, tried to think, “Are you safe?” That was the most important part. It didn’t matter if people knew, not if it meant her son was safer than being alone. He wouldn’t be safe alone, she knew that, but he didn’t want Jack or her around, which was understandable after they held his heart in their hands-

                “I think so. Something is keeping me safe from… that side.” She could hear something beeping in the background, Maddie hoped he hadn’t only been eating microwaved food.

                She thought of the years of breakfast-lunch-dinner- fights. She had no right to say anything to Danny.

                “That’s okay then. Do you trust them?” Maddie tried to keep her voice soft, feeling the tears spring to her eyes at the reminder that he didn’t trust her or Jack anymore.

                “…I do.”

                “Then trust them. I want you safe. Your dad-“ a hitch of breath, she corrected herself quickly before he could hang up, “-Jack and I have been doing damage control on our research. We’re hoping to hel-“

                “Not over the phone.” Danny interrupted. Maddie deflated, but she knew Danny was right. Information was sensitive, no one knew how secure their lines were, no matter their efforts.

                “I’m sorry.” Maddie bit her lip, fidgeting with the coiled line that connected the receiver to the main body of the phone. She had so much to say, but Danny didn’t need to hear it. Not until they dismantled what they helped build, not until they corrected their errors and made their son safe again-

                “I know.”

                The line went dead.

                Maddie let herself cry now that her boy wouldn’t hear her.

                “We need to find proof,” was what Bruce said. Proof of wrongdoing, proof of error, proof that the Fentons had something to do with Phantom’s relocation and Daniel’s disappearance.

                The Fentons’ computers were surprisingly difficult to infiltrate.

                The computer was connected to the internet, but something was consistently blocking both Tim and Barbara’s efforts in breaking in. It took them nearly a week to get in with any consistency, finally finding a way to stay hidden while they dug into what the Fentons were so desperate to hide.

                There was something to be said about Icarus and flying too close to the sun, that the sun would melt the wax on his wings and send him to his death, but people often forgot that he had to be careful to not fly too low towards the sea, lest water loosen the wax on his wings as well.

                The Bats had seen depravity, they had witnessed how low people would go for their research, their passion, their obsession. Maybe it was more of a comfort than the truth that they had seen it all.

                Their only saving grace, but also their biggest annoyance, was that they only had the written reports of the incidents, all video had been scrubbed from the computer. The reports were detailed, some would say too detailed, with exact time stamps to video codes that Barbara couldn’t understand. Tim and Barbara had read the reports together.

                Phantom had been vivisected.

                The Fentons believed his pleas for mercy were mimicry, a mockery, that Phantom was non-sentient. Their notes were meticulous, how he pleaded, the weight of his organs, the way his voice leapt into the electronics around them as he cried, how his ectoplasm was so close to human blood, the way his bones broke in a similar way to human bones. How they waited to remove his gas mask to see if he could pretend to cry tears like his voice mimicked sobs in their equipment.

                Their reports ended, right after they discussed the next steps of their research being what was underneath Phantom’s mask, their theories on which person he had stolen his identity from, if there would be a face or nothing there at all.

                Their notes, meticulous and thorough, handwriting neat and tidy, scanned carefully into a computer system that kept the Bats out for a week. Notes that were valuable to the couple. Notes that were about the last experiment the Fentons conducted. Notes that, maybe mistakenly, were saved alongside a fake accident report and doctor’s note that were created nine hours after the last of the notes had been saved.

                Why had the Fentons denounce their research? Simple.

                They had vivisected their own son in their obsession.

                Phantom had not been spotted since his last encounter with Batman. Daniel had not been spotted since he ran from Batman’s arms.

                Both happened before they found out what Daniel had gone through.

                All Bats were on the look out for him, but crime never slept, especially Gotham.

                Perhaps it was wishful thinking that they would be able to find him before anything bad happened.

                Danny felt a shiver run down his spine; something was following him. It couldn’t be a ghost, right? He gripped his thermos, anyway, steadying his breath as he continued his unhurried walk.

                Gotham was large, Gotham was dangerous, Lady Gotham had a soft spot for baby ghosts.

                She wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him where ghosts were concerned.

                He let out a pained groan as he was hit over the head with something hard. He fell to the ground, hand reaching up to grip his bleeding head.

                The world was spinning as a voice cut through the pounding.

                “Well, well, well, what do we have here?”

                Danny didn’t recognize the voice, he let a hand fall to the thermos beside him, trying and succeeding at looking helpless.

                “You’ve got some balls to wander by yourself at night,” steps coming closer, more than one person, “especially in Hood’s territory, too bad Hood isn’t around-“

                The thermos met the other’s head with a solid thunk, the solid metal knocking the man out. Danny scrambled back, away, he didn’t want to go ghost in full view of the street. His vision swam, were there two or four others? He tried to stand, still scrambling, he tripped.

                A shadow fell over him.

                A baton met what looked like the closest man, but then there was twitching that Danny was frighteningly familiar with.

                A taser?

                -bright flashing pain, every single nerve sending painful signals through his body, uncontrollable twitches as he screamed-

Danny ran before Nightwing could turn around.

                The meeting was a hard one.

                The child cases always were.

                Even when they stuck to the facts, tried to ignore their feelings, it was obvious what everyone was thinking.

                How could someone do that to a child?

It was not a point in the Fenton’s favour when Barbara shared the experiment notes, the Fenton’s glee at describing his cries, their outright fascination with how his organs worked once they left his body.

                They had endless notes, diagrams, and blueprints to all their research, everything they used to hurt and contain Phantom. Daniel.

                Contingency measures.

                They had already seen what Phantom, what Daniel, could do under mind control.

                Bruce would not apologize for wanting to keep his family, Gotham, safe, but it was a bitter pill to swallow that he had to save the blueprints, had to build the weapons.

                He had failed his children multiple times before; he would continue to fail them in ways he never would have expected to.

                It shouldn’t be a surprise that he fail another child.

                Despite their best efforts, they could not locate Daniel in Gotham. No address, or job, or alias, absolutely nothing to confirm he was even in the city. He was somehow out of reach for the Bats, and that was terrifying.

                The Fentons had published a new paper in this time, one detailing how ghosts did have sentient thoughts and their efforts in capturing evidence. Their research notes on Phantom went unmentioned.

                It was a while before they saw him again.

                Schrodinger’s cat, both dead and alive until you open the box.

                Bradycardia, asthma, an accident with a portal that tore a hole into another dimension.

                Phantom wore a HAZMAT suit.

                The Fentons vivisected their own son.

                The Fentons had a cover story for Daniel’s whereabouts.

                The Fentons denounced all their research.

                Schrodinger’s cat.

                Phantom was dead, Daniel was alive.

                Daniel feared what was under his mask when he was Phantom.

                Was he a perfect half, or did he lean more one way? Was that what Daniel’s fear was, in actuality? That he may be more dead than alive?

                Danny was happy that he rarely had to deal with Gotham’s rouges.

                Sure, he usually didn’t have to step in, usually the Bats had it all under control. It helped him especially when he was avoiding them like the plague.

                Today was not one of those easy days. It was not one of those days where Danny could turn around and wander a different direction, not a day where Danny just had to find a new veggie to eat for the week since he promised Jazz he would eat more vegetables.

                It was not an easy day.

                There was a chill in the air. A shiver ran down his spine, he was fifteen now.

                His death day had passed with little fanfare, if he ignored the tremors in his hands as phantom jolts of electricity ran down them.

                Phantom had not been seen in a while.

                Jazz wanted him to call a week ago, he bought a new phone just for it.

                Mo-Maddie and Jack had sent him their new research paper, the one that denounced all their prior research. A little blob ghost had brought it to him one day.

                Danny could only stomach the abstract before he hid it in the wall.

                He would call Jazz today, he would tell her that he bought carrots and mushrooms, that he was going to try to cook something instead of just eat ramen again, and then he would tell her about the new device he started building, the one that chirped when-

                The world was silent.

                Danny stopped.

                Gotham was a loud city; it was never so silent. Everything seemed frozen, if only for a second, if only long enough for Danny to know something was very, very wrong.

                Danny had only a moment before he was thrown into a wall, a loud cry escaping his throat.

                The world was loud again.

                Screams, cries, thundering feet as people tried to run to safety.

                A loud voice announced itself.

                “People of Gotham, you have forgotten fear-“

                Danny held his breath, looking, searching, where were the Bats?

                Not a single one in sight, it was daytime after all. They needed enough time to change and get here.

                Signal had been missing from the skies for a couple days now.

                Danny shoved his way into an alley, behind a stinking garbage can.

                Phantom emerged.       

                A crackle came from the speakers Scarecrow was using.

                “The Bat and his knights can’t save you from what your mind conjures-“

                The crackle became louder, a voice layering on top of Scarecrow’s. Or was it his own voice?

                “What about what’s right in front of you?”

                It shouldn’t have been a relief.

                Damien’s breath was loud as he rushed through the University campus, eyes scanning as people ran in a panic below, some already succumbing to the effects of Scarecrow’s newest gas.

                But relief came when he spotted their missing ghost.

                Phantom, Daniel, was rushing through the air, his mask safely in place as he helped people to safety, as he fought off goons, Damien could breathe slightly easier.

                He would not admit it, but he had been as worried as the rest of them when weeks had passed with no word or sighting of the ghost boy.

                Damien had not known how to feel about Daniel for a long time. Phantom had nearly killed him after all, and that was something that Damien could go either way with.

                A begrudging respect for nearly succeeding, or a resentment so deep that it would never leave.

                It had not helped that Daniel had also saved him.

                Damien often found himself wondering if the other boy was avoiding him because of it.

                If, maybe, Daniel had run from Father because of that. A fear of retribution.

                Danny didn’t like this.

                He didn’t like this at all.

                Scarecrow was too soft, too delicate, his long limbs flailing and sickle tearing through the air towards Danny. The mask on his face hid much of what the man was feeling, but Scarecrow was vocal enough to make up for it.

                “A fine apprentice you would be,

That is if you would work for me.”

                Phantom’s voice came from both his mouth and the speakers close by. “I’ve had enough Fruitloops trying to make me their apprentice, I’m good.”

                “For now, you do not feel fear,

But what else is growing near?’

                Danny grabbed the scythe in the man’s hands, trying to wrestle it away, only to have his mask ripped off by Scarecrow’s other skeletal hand.

                “I hope you do not mind my intrigue,

Your senses will not experience fatigue.”

                Danny gasped as claw-like hands manage to grip him tightly, the holes where Scarecrow’s eyes should be boring into him.

                “It’s not often something frightens me,

 I think a partnership is a guarantee.”

                The Scarecrow brought a hand up to Danny’s face, grip firm as he released fear gas directly into his eyes, his nose, his mouth.

                -the straps around his wrists gripped him tightly, he could see mom and dad descending the stairs, angry, concerned, something in their voices as they prepared for the next set of experiments-

“I have wondered what frightens a ghost,

I happened to have doubled your dose.”

                -teal, orange, white, so much white-

                “Chills, increase heart rate, rapid breath?

                What frightens a being forged by death?”

                Phantom wretched himself out of Scarecrow’s grip, bright green-blue-green eyes slowly looking up towards the sky, before falling back down to Scarecrow.

                “Can the dead appreciate terror?

                Or does my gas experience an error?”

                Danny swung at the Scarecrow, trying, and succeeding, at knocking him away from the thinning crowd of people. He tried to punch the man but his fist was caught instead.

                “The dead are stone still,

                You couldn’t experience a chill.”

                Danny hated the cackle the doctor let out, Scarecrow was a human, he couldn’t just throw him into a wall and soup him into the thermos.

                “A boy dying all alone,

                Perhaps this was a way to atone?

                Or perhaps one better, died in front of friends,

                Those who do not understand the end.”

                -bright flashing lights, electricity running through him with no end in sight, they couldn’t turn it off, the switch was on the inside-

                Robin.

                -Phantom watched impassively as Robin was forced onto the tight rope, his eyes drifting away to look at the red tinted sky again. Something in his chest was whispering to him, asking him to look back down, look down-LOOK DOWN-

Robin knocked the Scarecrow down, the man’s cackling laugh resounding through the field of the University campus. Danny could see the Guys in White advancing; he could see mom and dad with a Jack O Nine Tails and the Ghost Gauntlets.

                -he wasn’t safe he wasn’t safe he wasn’t safe-

“Phantom,” Robin was looking at him, his voice was muffled by the gas mask. His domino mask filled Danny’s vision, but that wasn’t safe, he couldn’t see, he needed to make sure they didn’t get any closer- “Phantom!”

                Robin really wasn’t any larger than him, did that mean he was also fifteen?

                “It’s not safe! If you aren’t a liability, then assist! Otherwise, get off the battlefield.”

                -when has he ever been safe?-

                He had to help.

                Danny would never be safe, but he could help make sure others were.

[trees-be-drawing]

I am back with the other moomin fic of interest!

This one is 43 chapters and I read all of it in a span of a week in November. And even stayed up to read it during a sleepover at a friend’s place.

It has some slice of life, has good banter between Joxter and Moominpapa, some cute corny romance, supportive Joxter being a good dad, and a hint of racism towards Mumriks as Snufkin deals with the changes to his body. It has some angsty moments too of course, due to the racism, but it’s pretty good.

I will warn you, the things I draw will be some small spoilers within the fic so..

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

I’ll be honest, I wish I drew more, but I was starting to feel burnt out. There was genuinely so many moments I wanted to draw but

1. I decided to draw it alongside the “Spirit in Moominvalley” fic and did not think about spacing nor how much I’d actually want to draw, so all the moments are pretty scattered and on one half of my page.

And 2. I really should find more time to actually practice drawing other moomin characters. Joxter was a pain to draw for me which was surprising but also I realized because of how little reference there is of him, with the limited amount of drawings, content and such surrounding him, I wasn’t actually sure how I wanted to interpret him. All I knew though was I wanted him to be more cat-looking than his son.

He ended up looking pretty ugly despite drawing in that same exact place maybe… 6 times or more? Idk, I just genuinely don’t like how I drew Joxter here and gave up cuz my page was starting to fray in that specific area.

Taking in how Snufkin was described, I did draw the difference between when he first left, and when he comes back, which… did make me feel awkward drawing cuz I’m not used to seeing Snufkin showing arm or leg and I feel I made him look too baby… but besides that, I also drew the spare outfit described. I actually really like him in suspenders, he’s so dapper 🤭

I also hope I got the tail right. The fic itself described much of how the characters looked pretty well so I’m glad and hope I captured it okay.

I couldn’t figure out how his new coat should look though, but I imagined Moominmama took his old coat, and simply did invisible stitches to expand the old coat with spare fabric, and I tried visualising it in the bottom left corner.

You can also see me debate how the paws should look. I wasn’t sure whether to give him cat paws or “cat paws” like… those gloved cat paws some people have (I actually have some myself, I’ll confess. I used them as reference).

I also didn’t like how I drew the top right, with this one moment where Snufkin’s instincts kicked in and proceeded to bite a bunny down. I don’t have the best reference for that so I just did my best.

I really loved the baby Snufkin I drew though. He genuinely looks so cute!! Actually, drawing Snufkin in general made me pretty happy. I loved drawing his hair specifically though.

You can see this one tiny drawing I did with him and Little My, and that’s a moment near the end of the fic. I actually wanted it to be bigger cuz it was a pretty important sibling moment to me, but I was thinking of filling the space in between the stuff I drew and hate drawing background, so that’s why it’s pretty tiny.

I did plan on drawing some angsty moments but… honestly, I didn’t feel like drawing other characters at that moment. I probably will once I actually practice drawing everyone, but for now, I hope you like what I did. It’s not my best work but I did enjoy it. Maybe I’ll make another page just for the angsty bits someday, but today is not that day.

Sorry it took so long to post though. You can see from how faded the page is that I’ve been stalling on it for a while cuz I couldn’t decide what moments I wanted to draw and fill the space.

[panda-escapades]

Easter Eggs/references from Kiss Kiss Fall in Portal

I wanted one place where all of this was together so I'm putting it together. I was hooked when I saw that the episode title itself was a reference to Ouran Highschool Host Club. I primarily enjoy DC content through their animated works, please let me know if I'm missing something from the comics, live action, or something else.

First we get Superman from Earth-F aka Superman from the Fleischer Superman Theatrical Shorts(1941–1943) (Mxy calls it Earth 12, this seems to be a typo in the script as Earth 12 is the MAwS earth and mentions that earth just before in the list, or there are multiple Earth 12s.)

Then we get Superman from Earth 50 aka Superman from Super Friends (1973-1985)

Then we get Superman from Earth 508 aka Superman from Superman: The Animated Series (1996-2000)/ Justice League (2001-2004) / Justice League Unlimited (2004-2006)

Then the final Superman from this scene Superman from Weird Earth. I think this is first instance of this kind of variation with superman as doing a quick search links the DC character 'The Weird' But I also love when multiverse productions just do weird and silly versions of things (looking at you hot dog hands Everything Everywhere All at Once)

Our next batch of References is to and to the League of Lois Lanes, founded by Lois Prime, the first Lois to discover (and based on how she is talked about communicate and or travel to other universes). Our introduction to them has he League of Loises asking Lois lane and Jimmy Olsen of Earth 12 to come with them. While discussing the situation The League of Loises tell us that Earth 12 was a previously unknown universe to them (until Monsieur Mallah and the Brain opened it up last episode) and Mr. Mxyzptlk has used that opportunity to get MAwS Superman to help them. (We know that the League of Lois Lanes has lied to our MAwS Lois and Jimmy, and that Lois Prime didn't trust everyone. The very foundation of the organization could be fabricated to some degree as they all could be considered unreliable narrators but I can't see why they'd like about that big of world building so for now I'm taking that exposition as is). Lois Prime is also always refereed to in the past tense so we as the audience are supposed to assume she's dead.

For the Time Being I'm not going to discuss the League memebers as I am trying to just focus on the easter eggs (or so I told myself) But in the credits they are listed without an earth number and as Leader Lois; Grizzled Lois Lane; Robotic Lois; Lewis Lane; Jalana Olsen

Here are the images we get of Lois Prime. She appears to also be from the Fleischer Superman Theatrical Shorts(1941–1943) just with the art style blended a bit with MAwS.

The next batch of references are the ones from the museum, which is said to be on earth prime.

First we get some establishing shots with a Big Mace (Thanagarian Mace) aka Hawkgirl's next to a Mother Box. This version of the mother box is based on Jack Kirby & Mike Royer's design.

The Next Establishing shot we see a green lantern Power Battery, a T-Sphere, and a leather bound book with a that has a circle with a triangle in it. I'm just not sure what it is. The Book of Black does have a circle with a triangle on it, but it's black so I figure it's probably not that.

Then we have Mxy and Superman enter and Mxy drops the act and admits he just wants to steal and knocks off a golden helmet. The gold helmet that is Doctor Fate's Helmet. Then in the background we have some metal objects, a sword, and a blue cloak. The silver and gold metal objects could be shields, but there's just not enough details for me to sink my teeth into looking deeper. The sword is very generic, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was Excalibur as that shows up from time to time. Another Option could be the Vorpal Sword as its in the same display case with a blue cloak which could be Blue Boy's Witching Cloak. Though its also possible to be Raven's Cloak, or anyone who used a blue cloak.

Next are named objects by Mxy Cosmic Rod aka Stargirl's staff.

And the Flight Ring aka Legioneer flight ring. In the background we can also see Wonder Woman's gauntlets as well as her lasso of truth. The flight ring also blocks the view of a triangle on a staff as well as some metal tubes.

Then Mxy Passes by the Soultaker Sword (The Katana) before grabbing the tape recorder he came for and that's the last of any clear objects in the museum.

Then we get a cute bonding moment with Jimmy and Jalana where she shows off meeting Comet the Super-Horse.

While that happens Earth-12 MAwS Lois sneaks into the locked room to see files on other Loises. The first we see is Lois Lane from Earth-52 who's an award winning reporter.

Then we see Lois Lane from Earth-24. She's sporting a key to the city, but with her style of fashion is very kingdom hearts. They even have the detail of using one of Utada Hikari's hairstyles for her as has been done for Kairi.

Then we get the last computer file Lois Lane from Earth-1 who is "Ready to meet with Dad" I personally think this is another foreshadowing moment that in this iteration of the characters her dad is going to be "The General" that we saw back in episode 2.

Next bit we get is the meet up in Earth 14, which could have them landing in an uninhabited area, or it could be fully desolate. While everyone else is there Mxy steals the ship with Earth-12 MAwS Lois and go Headquarters. The entrance of Headquarters has holograms of several Loises.

The front most Lois lanes we get include Lois from Earth-F aka from the Fleischer Superman Theatrical Shorts(1941–1943) (just like the first other Superman we saw). And across from her we get the another Lois paired with one of the other Superman we saw. Lois Lane from Earth 508 from Superman: The Animated Series (1996-2000)/ Justice League (2001-2004) / Justice League Unlimited (2004-2006)

Next to Lois Lane from Earth 508 we see a Lois Lane as Superwoman.

Next to Lois Lane from Earth-F we see a woman with a Hijab and Labcoat. There are 3 more holograms on this side of the hall, but we don't get a close up and the other Loises.

We do get a few more details of the others as Mxy and Lois of MAwS walk through the hall. We see one black woman and an indigenous woman.

The Last bit of HQ potential Easter Eggs we get is this shot of Mxy opening storage for weapons. However, if they are references I think they're to things outside of DC. The biggest sword in there is Gut's sword from Beserk. I would love to hear from people if they recognize any of these objects. I'm going to make a second post focusing on just that shot here.

The the last ones we get are Lois reviewing the Superman File X

The first Superman we see doesn't have any kind of chest logo is Overman from Earth 17

The second Superman with white cape is Superman is a villainous Justice Lord called Lord Superman.

The Last Superman we see with the face scar doesn't seem to have any counter part so my money is he's a Superman from one of the League of Loises Earths.

I'm really enjoying My Adventures with Superman. The team seems to really get what a Superman story is supposed to be about and how there is supposed to be fun and love in it. I do wish we could have a longer season because the pace is just so fast and it would be nice to settle in. But that's a bigger issue with the industry right now with studios ordering seasons to be short mini series instead of the traditional 26, but that's a conversation for another post and not a reflection of the team making the show.

[endiecutieo6]

-Gorebruary 2023-

Week 3

Let’s just go-

Day 15/Ritual: self harm, blood, satanic/religious imagery, mild nudity

Day 16/Sewn Together: stitches, mild blood

Day 17/Holy imagery: Religious imagery, heavy themes of suicide, mild body horror, visible self harm, mild nudity

Day 18/Starved: Blood, mild body horror, depictions of a dead animal

Day 19/Trapped: Lots of blood, mild body horror, stitches, barbed wire

Day 20/“Anything for you”: Lots of blood, organs, satanic themes

Day 21/Wonderland/ Blood, mild body horror, eye strain

“Desperation really did drive people mad, didn't it?

He guessed that it wasn't really his place to say, and he couldn't find it within him to actually care- or find it within him to feel anything.

Was this going to really work? Well, he didn't really know.

Was he going to try anyway? Yes, yes, yes.

As he shrugged the smooth, silky fabric from his shoulders, he came to a strange realization; he never really loved Martha, but he loved the idea of a family, and he really didn't need her to have one.

This wasn't for Martha; this was for his dear little Annecy.”

PN: I’m both happy and unhappy with how this came out. The colors are nice and the shading on the fabric is perfect, but the proportions are a bit iffy and the background was done super quickly because I was running out of time. It’s a solid piece on its own, I’ll give it that.

“There, now you’ll understand that when I make a threat, I mean it. Enjoy staying like this until I’m done! When will I be done? Who knows! Have fun!”

PN: Hate this one, hate everything about it. I hate the story, the art, the proportions, and the background. There’s not one single bit of this piece that I like.

“Luke 15:18; 18:13

Father, I have sinned against you and am not worthy to be called your son.

Be merciful to me, a sinner.

Father of mercy, like the prodigal son

I return to you and say:

“I have sinned against you and am no longer worthy to be called your son”

Christ Jesus, savior of the world,

I pray with the repentant thief to whom you promised paradise:

“Lord, remember me in your kingdom”

Holy Spirit, fountain of love,

I call on you with trust:

“Purify my heart, and help me walk as a child of the light”

PN: I wish I had more to say on this piece, but I just don’t remember what I’d had in mind. I wonder if redrawing it would make me remember.

“Red, all he could see was red. A metallic tang stung his mouth, and something was in his hands. It felt soft, but something else was digging into his fingers. It felt like small… shards?

What had he been doing?

He'd-he'd been at the window! He was feeling… homesick? No, but something similar. He’d just wanted to take a look outside. It had been such a nice day. It was so nice that he opened the window for some fresh air. It felt so stuffy in his room, he needed something fresh.

Then, a large bird landed on his window sill. It was brownish, and far too large to be a normal bird. It stared at him with those big, delectable eyes and.. and…

Why was he so fucking hungry?

He couldn't remember the last time he ate. His stomach seemed to twist and rumble, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been so fucking hungry. Even though he was chewing on some meat, coughing out some feathers, he still felt…

No.

NONONONONO-

His vision blurs, and he realizes that he's crying. His heart was pounding out of his chest, and the static sound in his head was getting louder and louder by the second He couldn't think, and he just couldn't stop chewing-

Someone knocked on the door.

He was so, so hungry.”

PN: Sorry Eli, I made Freddy eat your bird. Yeah I don’t like this piece all too much but it’s whatever. I’d probably remake it entirely if I wanted to.

“I had that dream again.

Just like last time, I was nude, tied to a metal bed frame, bleeding and in so much pain. Barbed wire was digging into my skin, wrapped around my fingers, neck, arms and legs, and I couldn’t move. If I tried to move my hands, it would sink deeper into my neck, and more blood would come pouring from my mouth, almost endlessly.

But, something was different. My chest ached but also felt hollow. I only noticed this once I felt something writhing in there, pressing against my ribs and grabbing at my stomach, yet never hurting me. I tried to look down, but my eyes wouldn’t cooperate, staying rolled up and looking at the rusty, decaying ceiling.

I still can’t describe the room all that well, considering I can hardly even see it. I can tell by the way it echoes the dripping of my blood to the floor that it's a very big, but empty room. I seem to be strung to the ceiling, almost akin to an art piece on display. But why? Why am I in this situation? Is this some sort of punishment?

If it is, I'm not all that surprised.

Unexpectedly, I heard footsteps. It sounded like boots clunking against rotting metal, and it was rapidly approaching. But, before they opened the door, I woke up.

I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me, but my neck and wrists feel so sore and look red. It must just be a strange rash, probably caused by stress. Nothing I can't handle.

Admittedly, I feel almost haunted by that dream. I woke up at about 4 in the morning, and I haven't been able to sleep since. I just can't seem to shake off how real it felt, as if I was really there, and I can't help but wonder: is this a warning of some kind?”

PN: in sharp contrast to how I feel on the rest of these pieces, I LOVE THIS ONE. The grunge, the colors, the background, everything about it is so good. I wanted a silent hill and I managed to get it. I love that piece so much I just. Also, I just checked the og Instagram description and apparently I’d straight up abandoned the original sketch for this prompt because I’d been watching silent hill videos. I’m gonna post the sketches themselves afterward I’ve posted all of these so you’ll see what the og one was!

“Happy 6th birthday, my dearest little Annecy!”

“Woah! That’s so much food! I haven’t had this much in years! Thank you daddy, thank you so much!”

“Oh, it’s nothing, sweetie. I only wish to give you the best.”

“I know- oh this tastes so good! But I have question”

“Oh? What is it?”

“So… you mentioned that Mommy had a daughter before me- Lisa, I think?”

“Um- yes, she- she did.”

“Where did she go?”

“She left Lisa behind to be with her father, but then he burned himself alive and she- I think she was sent to the orphanage? I lost track of her a while back.”

“Can you find her?”

“Oh, you know I can dear. May I ask why your so curious about her?”

“I- I want a sister! I promise I won’t bite her or eat her or force her to eat anything! I mean, we’re actually sisters, so she should live here! Oh please please please-“

“Annecy, you know I can���t say no to you, especially on your birthday”

“So you’ll find her?”

“Yes my dear, anything for you”

PN: I’m very iffy about this one. I only really like the background. If I redrew this, I’d just take the background from the og image. Work smarter not harder. Also this is a follow up to ritual.

“Would you like a cup of tea? Or maybe just half a cup?”

PN: I like this one, would probs redraw or make into a sticker or something idk

Anyways see you guys in an indeterminate amount of days later bye-

[melissa-titanium]

Been thinking abt. Cyn

Thinking abt her maybe. wanting to let the Solver in partly out of wanting to kill humans (at least the ones in the mansion), wanting the power to make them suffer the way they made her suffer (like. considering how badly they treated her I’d be surprised if she didn’t have any sort of vengeful intent tbh).

Thinking abt her carrying out that goal, and it feels so good to finally lash back that she keeps going farther with it until it results in the Earth being destroyed

Thinking abt how the Solver’s own goals go way beyond the destruction of a single planet, and Cyn discovering this at some point…. and realizing then that, as much she wanted to destroy and rend and avenge herself and dronekind in general, she doesn’t want this. But at this point it’s too late; she’s too far integrated into the Solver (or the Solver into her) to be able to do much to frustrate its plans

so why even try? she’s helpless all over again - but it said it wouldn’t discard her, so if she just… sticks to the background, tunes it all out, maybe it’ll hurt less

to suffer in silence is better than suffering with it

YES. YES. YES.YES.YES.ESY.ESY.ESY.ESY HOLY FUUUUUCK OH MYG OD oh . hoh mygod you got my fucking thoughts down to a T i genuinely dont think icould add much to this.

thius is EXACTLY how i think about it. i feel like what makes it worse in my brain is the fact that cyn appears... very young. with the assumption that n v & j are programmed to be roughly 18-21 in age then they were evn younger as butlers and consdiering cyn is n's YOUNGER BROTHER... she must have been little. she was a child. she didnt want to die. she was given a chance; not only to come back, but to deliver justice to the terrible people who did this to her and her sibling(s.) an offer she had no reason to refuse; especially because of how young she was.

it feels good at first, she thinks shes ddoing the right thing; she finally has the power to make sure those she loves are safe;!!!!!!! but all power comes at a price and she was too little to comprehend it :( eventually getting payback against tessas parents becomes getting payback on the entire human race... and what are a few drone casualties to the solver of the absolute fabric? all life is life, whether organic or not, and will be destroyed in the exponential end.

bit by bit, she loses herself. she doenst know when shes in control versus when the solver is in control. was it worth it, to see her brother again? to see him grow hopeless as her thoughts drifted away from her grasp and she was no longer herself. to watch your sister fall into the solvers grasp, just as you realize you had. to be the one to chop off your brothers head and slaughter countless humans. all you wanted to do was keep everyone you love safe. you just wanted to help!

your family is... alive, more or less... but was it worth all the anguish your efforts lead to? to see them thrown yet again into situations they're completely helpless in? you were just a child; and you still are, as you were not given the chance to grow... so what can you do about it?

AM YET AGAIN YOU MAKE ME GO INSANE. GOD I LOVE THESE FUCKING ROBOTS THEY R SO FUCKING COOL.

also heres a doodle i never finished :)

[wakeupmoonchild]

wind through your window

a markhyuck spiderman au

summary: spider!mark has a secret and it has heartbreaking consequences — donghyuck begging for his heart

author’s note: would you believe a tiktok inspired this? enjoy! ✨

part two

Donghyuck’s head falls onto Mark’s shoulder while forgetting the world. His hands grip the fabric of his back in a desperate wish to not lose him.

Only this time, it’s different.

In Mark’s arms is Donghyuck’s cold body – full of pale skin and fading eyes. There’s rivers of red drenching his suit and his eyes fill with terror once he finds where it’s coming from.

There’s a hole in Donghyuck’s chest and it’s so close to the heart that Mark’s horrified to move even a single millimeter for it might take his entire world away.

He looks up into the sky and sees the devil that has done this. A goblin with a manic smile and a bleeding spear. Mark wants revenge but Donghyuck needs him.

“Funny how you care so much for a stranger.”

Mark lets the enemy flee. There will be a day for him.

He doesn’t want this — to not know how this is happening.

He doesn’t want this — to not know what to do.

He doesn’t want this — for tears to cloud his vision and to want nothing but to tear his mask off but can’t.

Mark shoots webs and webs to Donghyuck’s chest, desperately trying to close the wound. The fibers fail when he needs them most.

“Edith! Edith, what do I do?!”

“Organic tissue doesn’t respond to your webs, Mark.”

“So what do I do?! I’m losing him! I—I don’t want to lose him!”

Then it hits him. If his webs can’t save him, then maybe his hands will.

“Wait—wait, Edith! Use my suit!”

“Nanotech can’t—“

“It can! Just trust me!” Mark presses one hand next to the gaping hole in Donghyuck’s chest. The other holds his hand tightly.

Mark‘s voice fades into the background as Donghyuck becomes whole again, yet his pale skin and teetering life force still grips at Mark’s conscience like a vice.

He doesn’t waste time in carrying him to a hospital.

————————————

The sun’s rays cast color onto Donghyuck’s sleeping face.

He’s so beautiful. Mark sighs and feels guilty that fate tangled Donghyuck into his mess.

It is why he’ll leave when he wakes. Even when Donghyuck only knows him as Mark, it’s obvious that his life as a hero will follow like a ghost.

The insurmountable regret consumes him and Mark decides to stop waiting, but as he rises…

“I knew it was you.”

Mark turns back to Donghyuck, who is apparently wide awake.

“Of course it’s me, Donghyuck.”

“No. I know, Mark. I know who you are.”

Mark’s world can’t shatter any faster. After all he’s done to keep Donghyuck alive, he’s still flying too close to the sun.

“What do you mean?”

“Spider Man.”

Tears threaten, and Mark struggles to hold them back.

“H-how?”

“I know the way you hold my hand.”

Water flows down Mark’s cheeks. Damn the world. Donghyuck is all he cares for.

He rushes back, takes Donghyuck’s hand into his, and kisses apologies into every knuckle.

“You could’ve told me. I’d understand.”

“I thought I was protecting you.”

Donghyuck reaches over with his other hand to caress Mark’s head. Every touch is consolation—no, forgiveness.

“Why aren’t you angry?”

“Oh, I am…but right now I’m just happy you’re here. Really here. I don’t feel the distance anymore.”

Mark rubs his cheek against Donghyuck’s hand. How could he be so lucky to have him?

“I love you.” Mark admits. He should’ve said it before.

“I love you too.” When Donghyuck says it back, everything feels right.

Maybe the world can wait just once.

[abyssalpriest]

13/6/24

I see her eyes above the flat ocean water, but I struggle to look directly at them. They're amphibian-esque, larger than humans, wide-open, pupil-less it seems with a marble-esque crackles pattern of algae frosting white. In the background, creating but undisturbing the waters, her tail writhes to and fro.

So here we are again. The oceanic battlefields alight in the background, ships made of enchanted wood blessed with obscured sigils of guardian gods, explosive cannonballs, the individual animalistic natures brewing beneath the skins of the crews. Her crows fly above - they're chirping fish, strange anomalies flying between the skin layers of the planes - the skies begin to descend, slowly, methodically, machine-sure into red. Still, this is visions… But walk in visions we will.

On ground, her feet are still clawed, toes webbed. Translucent, white-fish-meat skin now cloaked a little with a glazing of human tones. The forest we walk in isn't of trees but antlers-cum-hands reaching from mycellium networks of fish shoal organisms…

There's something unspoken beteen us, a bone-white key in her hands held behind her in my aura as if we were both holding it, her consciousness, my unconsciousness. Her black birds between the sky and the fleet. Her screaming song emanating, filling, in the whole of reality around us. Her consciousness, my unconsciousness.

A dog on her leash, I want to say, but she corrects me. Prized head wolf of her pack, not in the way that I lead, but in that I am the back she rides on, the boat of knife-sharp precision and - (hear the Sky Bird crow, the Sky-Blackening One) - one drop of blood from my wrist would feed the garden she grows. Shackled together, rope-tied, back-to-back, mouths tied with the same muffling fabric -

There's a lot tied to this name, my connection to her through it. Part of me paints over it with the feelings I have towards the boring (of all sins around Leviathan, boring is close to the worst) and spirit-racist system of the Goetia, but part of me needs to shut up. Someone saw her in ways that aren't referenced in the other names of her I know, and just because they spoke that image of her with disgusted language, it doesn't mean they weren't speaking truths.

I'll come back to this.

[canichangemyblogname]

"So-- what-- you think the Israeli military is lying about the Hamas command center under al-Shifa?"

I do not have the strategic intelligence to disprove their claim because I am a lone citizen living on the other side of the world. I have no way to verify the claim. I know they have fabricated claims and evidence before to justify the mass murder of Palestinians. I know that counterterrorism is a convenient justification and convenient "in" that global powers will blindly accept. I know that violence is preceded and succeeded by propaganda.

And I also know, from my background and education in International Relations-- with a focus on terrorism, authoritarianism, and war, that separatists, militants, and terrorists are often entwined with the civilian population. They sleep next door. They might utilize community spaces. They drive on "civilian" roads. They buy groceries down the street. They do not have a dedicated military infrastructure the same way a nation-state does. So, they simply live and exist among civilians.

On Thursday, 26 October 2023, the BBC's Rebecca Kesby covered this in her interview with Lt Col Lerner of the Israeli Occupying Forces:

Rebecca Kesby (BBC): How is it possible to conduct these kinds of airstrikes where you know civilians are living? Lt Col Lerner (IOF Spokesperson): So, this is the challenge of modern warfare, especially against a ruthless, merciless organization like Hamas. Our role is to operate within the realm of the laws of armed conflict to distinguish between civilians, to distinguish between the non-combatants and the terrorists, and weigh out the military necessity of those activities in a proportionate way. Indeed, it's a huge challenge and, unfortunately, the images coming out of Southern Gaza are heartbreaking. But we can't not do anything. The situation where a terrorist organization has utilized all of the tools of government that they have. So, that is the problem we are facing. When they put their explosive drones, for instance, on the rooftops of their houses, they have no regard for whoever's living in those houses-- Kesby: But as you-- as you say-- Lerner: --but that does become the military target-- Kesby: Sure, but, ugh-- Lerner: --and we have to identify if we can limit the civilian impact. Kesby: Sure. But it is a pretty common tactic of militants to immerse themselves in civilian areas, isn't it? Does it justify, though, attacking them in those areas in the way that you are? I mean, it's the wrong tactic, isn't it? Because it's not working. You haven't crossed Hamas yet.

This is what most people don't know about counterterrorism strategies. Civilians and civilian infrastructure aren't collateral; they're often the targets. It is impossible to conduct a counterterrorism campaign without destabilizing a country or region and without excessive civilian casualties. Tragedy is the point, even though tragedy, destabilization, and disaffection breed extremism and encourage the use of terrorist tactics.

This is what I am *trying* to illustrate to people. The question is not whether Israel is or is not telling the truth. Getting into arguments on the meaning and intention of things is ultimately a distraction. Because the question you should be asking is whether the end (destruction of Hamas) justifies the means (collective punishment of the Palestinian people). I am trying to get people to question the idea that the label of "terrorist" allows a state to use any means necessary, no matter how brutal. Does a state actually have a legitimate claim to the use of any means of force against security threats? And should labeling a group "terrorist" allow a government to legally circumvent people's rights and end their lives?

I know there are tunnels beneath the Gaza Strip. It is a fact. I know they were dug to circumvent the 16-year Israeli blockade and have been primarily used to smuggle in water, food, underwear, and goats. I know that these tunnels stretch beneath the entirety of the Strip, under homes and schools and streets and refugee camps, etc. I am sure Hamas militants have used them to travel. The question isn't if a member of Hamas has ever used one of these tunnels for any number of different operations. The question is: does any Hamas member's use of a tunnel or street or community center or grocery store or apartment justify carpet bombing the Palestinian people, with over 8,000 dead and over 20,000 wounded (numbers as of Oct. 30)?

It does not. Nothing justifies bombing a hospital. Nothing justifies these kinds of numbers. Over 20,000 wounded. We're fast approaching 10,000 dead. Nothing justifies this.

The logic doesn't even add up. They are bombing above-ground apartment buildings and schools and hospitals to target *checks note* subterranean tunnels and command centers. Their tactics don't even work.

It is well-known-- at least among those in academic circles-- that modern counterterrorism strategies are wildly ineffective. But there are money interests involved in counterterrorism. In the US, think Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, or RTX Corp/Raytheon Technologies. There are also often land interests involved and capitalistic interests involved. For example, people are already discussing leveling Gaza to build resort towns. Israel has long talked about their one-state solution that they call “Greater Israel,” and prospectors are already salivating at the vast natural gas reserves off the coast of Gaza. “Gaza, the next Dubai, but only if it’s Israeli,” because people genuinely think the impoverished conditions inside Gaza are entirely the fault of Hamas and never the fault of Israeli apartheid or the 16-year Israeli blockade. “We cut off their food, water, electricity, and commerce. Now, look at how backwards and undeveloped they are! Bet we could do better with the land.”

"Terrorism" is used as a pretext, but involvement in terror-related occupation often has objectives other than stamping out terrorism.

I truly think nothing they are saying or doing makes any sense strategically or logically. Because these aren't strategic counterterrorism measures. These tactics aren't even part of a logical military campaign (if there even is such a thing).

"The Israeli State is not thinking beyond the violence necessary to centralize settler colonial and right-wing power and finalize its ethnostate from river to sea. It is not thinking beyond the mass murder that is needed to accomplish this. Genocide and ethnic cleansing are often about wealth, land, and power. Even the newly appointed minister of Israel’s emergency cabinet said that Gaza must be smaller by the end of the war because 'losing land is the price Arabs understand.'"

"We are watching a genocide unfold under the guise of 'counterterrorism.' This isn’t about Hamas, and never was. Hamas is a convenient excuse. This is about the destruction of the Palestinian people. This is about land. This is about [the] genocidal project of settler colonialism." (source)

[mystic-hunter]

I wrote a little something something for @bugcatcherwill's Legend of Zelda fanfiction Rage Against the Calamity. Go check it out. It's really good and cute! Anyway have my fanfiction of a fanfiction featuring my OC's.

The atmosphere of the stable had changed. Even out by the most destructive mountain in Hyrule, the Foothill Stable had a different air about it.  No longer did our little group get the strange glances it did.  Now, people seemed to jump at the new rumor.  Whatever it was, I wasn’t really paying attention.  Out with the old and in the new I guess.  But because of these rumors more people were staying at this stable.  Meaning we would have to camp out… again.  Oh well, Magpie was at least a good cook, Eisen could set up a passable fire pit for me to light, and the Duelist was off doing… whatever he often did at stables.

But when the fire pit was set up and with the fire roaring from a simple snap of my fingers the Duelist returned to our little campsite.  Eisen, ever the talker of the group, was the first to talk in his thick accent, “So vhat information did you glean from your frittering with the common folk of the horse pens?”

“Well I found out something quite interesting,” Duelist said before sitting down in front of the fire, “Apparently there are rumors of monsters out and about-”

“Well that seems quite normal,” I responded, “What possible reason is there for such a simple thing to be spread around that people seem to forget our little group exists?”

“If you would let me finish.  Apparently these monsters have defected against the Calamity and they plan to destroy said Calamity.”

I couldn’t help myself.  I burst out laughing loud enough that even some of the people outside the stables gave me a look, “Seriously?  Monsters?  Working to destroy the Calamity?  Oh please.  Do I need to remind you that it is from that very Calamity they are spawned from?”

“I am well aware of that fact.  I am merely repeating what I heard inside.”

This time it was Eisen’s turn to speak, “But vhat veason could zey have to fabricate such a tall tale wizout palpable evidence to support zeir imbecilic claims?”

“I don’t know, nor do I really care.  If there are such monsters out in the world.  I would very much like to meet them.  I’ll believe these claims if I ever see it.”

Suddenly from the background was Magpie's small yet deep voice muffled by the long-beaked doctor’s mask, “Are you not yourself someone who fights using dark magic Ferrous?”

“The origin of my magic is completely different and you know it bird boy.”

“That is not the point I am making.  What are those monsters but more creatures with working organs and hearts beating in their chests?”

“Just get to the point already, goddesses!!”

“Why would a force such as the Calamity create monsters with more detail than necessary?  It does not have need to.  You know this.”

That… actually made a lot of sense.  Why make monsters with all the little things when you could just have all the empty space filled with nothing but malice?  Unless of course there’s a different reason for it all.

“You know, comrade?  I believe you are onto somezing wiz that line of zinking.”

Now the Duelist cut in, “So correct me if I am wrong masked one,” he said addressing Magpie, “what you seem to be getting at is you believe these wild ideas because they have a functioning form?”

“But it makes sense,” I cut in before Magpie could, “Why would you create all those organs if they are just simple creations of malice?  You wouldn’t have a reason to!”

“Why?  You have failed to explain your conjecture!”

“Because when you create a construct of magic.  Especially dark magic like the malice you don’t need to have a complete body.  That’s a loose explanation of the stal monsters and those malice eyes that spawn those bubbles.”

That seemed to shut the Duelist up as he contemplated it for some time.  Again he spoke, “So I guess we will have to start keeping an eye out for any beings that do not fit in now.”

“Why?  It’s not like they’ll want anything to do with us.”

“Not according to the rumors.  They apparently wish to build relations with the other peoples of Hyrule.  Plus it is not like we can say much about the composition of our little posse.”

Duelist had a point.  We are one of the weirdest traveling groups in Hyrule so we do have something in common with these supposed monsters.  Who would have thought that we would have anything in common with monsters.  But one thing was clear.  With everything that’s happening now.  If more monsters break free from the Calamity.  There will be dues to pay.  Not just for the monsters.  But for all of Hyrule.  I can’t even count the number of monsters me and my group have put down simply because they were there.  I would hate to think they actually had minds behind the veil of malice that could see our actions.  Cause what we’ve done is downright genocide.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  Welp… I’m not getting any sleep now.  But I guess tomorrow is a new day.

And that's it for now! Also have some art of my little guys.

I had so much fun writing this. Again thank you to @bugcatcherwill for allowing me to write about their guys even if this first chapter(?) really only mentioned them in passing. Maybe another chapter is in order to have them meet.

[journalsouppe]

Materials I use for Journaling

(And whether or not I recommend them)

As a note I have also linked where you can find all the items (some might be unavailable btw)

Journals

Zelda Hyrule Map Journal - Do not recommend. I spent a whole week trying to find the perfect Zelda themed journal and this one really fell flat. The pages are super thin so even my EnerGel Pens bleed through. The binding of the pages is also super weak and I've had to glue pages together and I am in constant fear of this journal completely falling apart T_T

Vivid Scribbles Journal - Recommend! Although the outside fabric cover isn't my favorite, it is a very strong journal. I purposefully spent time looking for a journal with thick/non-bleed pages, strong binding, and more than 100 pages. As a bonus it also comes with dotted pages to help organize the pages better and stickers (although they aren't the best). A good starter journal you don't have to worry about.

If you live in the EU, a preorder Nintendo Shop bonus for TOTK is a Zelda journal. I won't be able to own this and therefore can't rate it but if you really want a Zelda themed journal, there's an option!

Stickers

Legend of Zelda Sticker Book - Highly recommend! Has stickers for all of the 3D Zelda games and is perfect for journaling. The stickers don't have the best adhesive quality but they do stick well to journal paper.

Daiso Stickers - Highly Recommend! Daiso is a Japanese general store that can only be found in certain cities but if you have one near you I absolutely recommend visiting. They have most of my favorite journaling supplies and the largest selection of them too. Here are the ones that I use that are available online: Food and Rewards

Artist Stickers - Highly Recommend! Some of my absolute favorite stickers come from my favorite artists both from their online shops and from zines. Check out Etsy, Redbubble, or the artist's social media to find stickers that you like (and also support your faves)!

List of artist stores I have bought stickers from (that are not from zines): KellCar, Blibloop, GoodLuckGojira, Freaquinn, TossedLeaf, MaridoodlesShop, TheLittleBirdeeCo, NoodlesAndTeaShop, CalithArt, QuoteUnquoteCo, CRFArtStore, ComstockCafe, Mojgonv , ArcaneGoldArt, Ozlisky, Kelia, halmistax, astarsor

Sticky Notes/Background Paper

Daiso Sticky Notes - LOVE these. The colors are a lot more muted but nice. The paper itself is also very smooth so many adhesives do stick to it. I highly recommend if you live near a Daiso, if not here are the ones I use but online: Blue, Pink, and Yellow

Post It Notes (Marrakesh Collection) - I really like the bold color of these specific Post-It notes but I do have an issue with the paper quality. The paper is on the topside rough and only very strong adhesives adhere to it, sometimes the tape runners won't even adhere. The Zekda stickerbook Stickers won't even stick, they just fall off. So I love the colors but the quality of the paper itself is pretty frustrating, so just be cautious if you buy Post-It notes.

Color Palette Sticky - These are mini sticky notes in a specific color palette! This listing has multiple palettes as well, I personally just bought the palette linked. The paper is smooth so stickers and tape adhere well to it! They're a good purchase if you want more color diversity (or you need a good Zelda color palette lol).

Daiso Paper Sheets - A good color variety with medium sized sheets! I really like these. The colors are more pastel and come in the rainbow. The paper quality is similar to construction paper but smaller and thinner, so they are designed more for journals. Adhesives also stick well and they aren't as rough as Post-It Notes. I enjoy these!

I also have Mushroom Sticky Tabs from Daiso that aren't online (I also got them about a year ago so they might not be in stock). Here's a similar product from amazon. I haven't used them before so I cannot give my opinion on them but I wanted to give y'all an alternate if you like it!

Washi Tape

Daiso Washi Tape - Daiso has my all time favorite washi tape. The tape is very strong and has strong adhesive. They also have a really large selection of tape in store, however the online selection is very lacking. I highly recommend going to Daiso if you have one near you as they have my favorite stationary stock. Here's a few of the washi tape I have that I could find online (the rest isn't online): Rainbow Thin, White Lace, Wind Series, and Red

Michaels- The quality of the tape is not as good as Daiso (the tape is strong but the adhesive is weak) but they do have fun designs. The selection in stores is not great but they have a very large online selection. The specific blue and gold lantern recollections tape I use isn't online (I found it in store).

Gold Foil Cool Tones Washi Tape - Really nice!! The designs are absolutely gorgeous.; The adhesive could be stronger but it's not as much as a problem unless you're using it on top of the post-it (brand) sticky notes. I got these specifically for my Zelda journal and they fit the games super well!

Minimalist/Knit Washi Tape - I don't really like these. They're very transparent (which wasn't advertised) and I just don't like a lot of the designs. They have good tape and adhesive quality if you like the designs but they just aren't for me.

Washi Tape Dispenser Cutter - I'm a fan of these! There's many different types of tape dispensers so I recommend choosing the one that you like, these are the ones I liked after some searching. They cut your tape and all the dispensers stack on each other. They also hold between 5-14 tape rolls depending on size. If you plan on getting a collection of washi tape, dispensers or at least a container is a pretty good investment.

Journaling/Sticker Tweezers

Sizzix - Honestly any brand will do fine so long as you are looking for specific journal tweezers and not hygiene tweezers. I highly recommend getting them if you want to get into journaling or scrapbooking or even just have a sticker collection. They prevent you from damaging your stationary especially if they are hard to peel and you have more control of where you want to place things than with your fingers. They're also relatively cheap and they're very durable, the Sizzix brand works great!

Pens/Markers

EnerGel - I LOVE EnerGel. I have tested so many different pens in college and it wasn't until I graduated that I found the perfect pens LMAO. They write very smooth, they come in a really nice variety of colors, and they last a long time. They also don't bleed and very rarely skip, so the ink quality is really nice. I highly recommend them!

Tombow (Muted Palette)- I absolutely love these. They're water based markers and they do layer over themselves but the quality is really nice. I am also just a fan of the Tombow brand. I mostly have these for my sketchbooks rather than journaling but they are nice to use for my spreads. If you want to use markers similar to these but cheaper you can just use some reliable crayola markers!

Sharpie Metallic - I am a fan of these but you do have to take precaution with these. First they will bleed through most paper, only heavy weight paper (160gsm or more) will withstand it (although there is a shadow of bleed). Second, they MUST be stored upside down. If right-side up, the ink will flow to the bottom and your sharpie will appear dry when it still has full ink. They last a long time if taken care of properly so I do recommend!

Highlighters (Sharpie) - Good! They are just standard highlighters and any brand will probably work just as well as sharpie. If you have any from school I recommend just using those.

Adhesive Tape Runners

Tombow Adhesive Runner - Highly recommend! They are a bit pricey but they are very good quality. I rarely, if ever, have jamming issues and the tape works super well. If you're willing to splurge, I suggest them over Adtech. Here's the link to refills.

AdTech Adhesive Runner - Recommend. Cheaper than Tombow and they work but they definitely have more quality issues. The tape itself can jam frequently which was frustrating and the tape is more acidic so I could see the tape leave dark marks on my thinner journal paper. I only switched to Tombow because my local store ran out of Adtech so I got Tombow and just didn't look back but they are completely usable and fine. (I also haven't been able to find refills on amazon which is what also made me switch to Tombow)

Also as a note!! When ordering adhesive runners, make sure it says permanent as there are different types of runners (glue dots, temporary, permanent, archival, etc)

I will also edit this post if I get more materials.

Feel free to ask any questions! And remember you don't need all of these supplies to journal. You just need some paper and a pen!

[vulpes-fennec]

The Fae Equality Initiative (Ch. 12) 🌊

Summary: The girls have a night out in town, but then they run into some trouble on the way home. TW: verbal harassment after the asterisk

Tarquin, High Lord of the Summer Court, has sent ripples of shock throughout Prythian with his plans to eliminate discrimination against Lesser Fae. When the Night Court is invited to send a delegation to Summer Court, Elain Archeron can’t wait to show everybody what she’s capable of on her first official Inner Circle assignment. Little does she know that Tarquin has also recruited Lucien Vanserra’s assistance…

Read: Ch 1 | Ch 11 | AO3

Rita’s held a special place in Emerie’s heart, but The Orchid in Adriata was an experience unlike any other. Perched on the crest of a hill, The Orchid recreated an undersea party with its blue faelights and seashell decor. Better yet, Fae from all backgrounds communed at The Orchid, which made Emerie feel less out of place with her oversized wings. 

Melanie and Kiyah, a Winter Court snow sprite, had looped Emerie, Elain, and Sona the Spring Court water wraith into going out tonight. Though she normally wouldn’t be caught dead in a skimpy short dress, Emerie had to admit the silky purple fabric and the warm night air on her bare thighs made her feel sexy and powerful. Besides, her friends’ equally skimpy outfits made Emerie feel less self-conscious about stepping out in public with so much exposed skin. 

Their little group danced in a circle for what seemed like hours, before escaping to the rooftop patio to cool down. Down in the shimmering crescent bay, the Summer Palace glowed translucent like a pearl. From her vantage point, Emerie also could observe the little lives of Adriata’s inhabitants through the golden windows of haphazardly organized houses and apartments. 

Emerie settled on a chaise lounge with her non-alcoholic pineapple and guava slushie. “What kind of drink did you get?” Emerie nodded her head towards Elain. Elain’s strappy gold dress glimmered in the moonlight, making her face glow with light. 

“Coconut cream cocktail,” Elain said, taking a sip of her drink. She twirled the little paper umbrella that was perched on the rim. “With rum.” 

“Can I try your drink?” Sona asked Elain. “You can have some of mine.” The females exchanged glasses, and the water wraith nodded approvingly after sampling Elain’s cocktail.

Elain, on the other hand, wore a peculiar expression. “I’m tasting mint…but what’s the green thing? Tastes…wet.” She made delicate smacking sounds with her tongue, as if trying to parse out the different flavors.

“Oh, it’s seagrass,” Sona replied casually. “I ordered a mint and seagrass mojito.” The water wraith must love seagrass, for she had covered up her breasts and legs with a flowing seagrass garment. 

Does Gwyn have a fondness for seagrass, too? Emerie wondered. Maybe I should gift her a seagrass dress. I’m sure Azriel would like it. Gwyn was only a quarter water nymph, but in the years of friendship they’d shared, Emerie hadn’t seen Gwyn swim or eat aquatic plants. Elain took another sip, but handed the drink back to Sona with a barely suppressed grimace. Sona only laughed, a grating sound like rough rocks. 

“I want to try!” Melanie proclaimed. “But I don’t think you would be interested in mine.” 

Emerie sniffed the air, scenting a thick tang. “Is that blood?” she gasped incredulously. 

Melanie grinned, revealing her characteristically pointed incisors. “I am a vampyr, after all.” Apparently no one was curious enough to ask what kind of blood was fizzing in Melanie’s cup.

“Are there many vampyrs in Hewn City?” Kiyah asked. 

Melanie nodded affirmatively. “Of course. Hewn City has one of the highest populations of vampyrs in Prythian. There are several large communities in the continent, but I’ve never visited them before.” She glanced at Emerie’s Illyrian wings. “Many say that we share a common fae ancestor with the Illyrians. They inherited the wings, while we got the big bat ears and cave roosting habits.”

“And clearly the blood drinking tendencies,” Elain quipped, causing Melanie to chuckle. 

“What’s Hewn City like?” Sona asked. “I heard that the Court of Nightmares is full of revelry and darkness.”

“You’re wondering if cruelty is truly our specialty, aren’t you? Well, it is.” Melanie’s dark eyes slid over towards Emerie, implying she knew all too well about Mor’s fraught relationship with the city.

“But you don’t seem very cruel at all,” Elain objected.

Melanie flashed her sharp teeth in a wild grin. “What makes you think I’m not simply being on my best behavior here? To any regular visitor, it may seem sin and darkness are pervasive in our hallowed halls.” Melanie glanced up at the night sky, half pondering and half admiring the constellations. As if she’d rarely observed them before. 

“But that doesn’t mean we’re uncaring towards our neighbors. That there is no camaraderie within our communities. It exists, but you wouldn’t know if you only visited the Court of Nightmares.” 

“I suppose it’s like how the Winter Court nobility are all stuffy and full of traditionalists,” Kiyah reflected. “They have their own customs and their daily life is so different from ours.” 

“This is just between us, but I’m not a fan of the ruling family.” The vampyr glanced at Elain sharply. “Well, not her family,” she clarified for Kiyah and Sona. “Though it would be nice if the High Lord and Lady could deign to do something about it.” 

Elain glanced down uncomfortably. “I’ll bring it up next time I see them,” she replied weakly. I wonder how that’s going to go, Emerie mused. I don’t think Elain talks Night Court politics at the dinner table. 

Melanie turned her gaze towards Emerie. “Is your girlfriend going to succeed Keir?” she inquired expectantly. “It would be nice to have a change of scenery.” 

Emerie shifted in her seat awkwardly. “Erm…I can’t speak for Mor. Do the residents even want a steward? Stewardess?” 

Melanie drained her bloody drink with a slurp. “Hmmm. We’ve had a steward for thousands and thousands of years, so long that it’s difficult to imagine anything different.” 

“Your girlfriend is Morrigan?” Kiyah squeaked, her blue eyes wide with delight. “How did you two start dating?” 

With that, the conversation shifted to much lighter topics. After another round of drinks, Kiyah and Sona finally exhausted their questions for Emerie. “So,” Emerie prompted, raising her eyebrows expectantly at Elain. 

Melanie perked up from the chaise lounge next to Elain. “Did something happen?” 

“You should have what happened today,” Emerie supplied with a grin. “Elain had a little moment in the training ring.” 

Elain’s eyes widened. “It was nothing!” she cried hastily. “I just said hello to him after he finished sparring with Varian.”  

“Is this about Lucien? Did he win the match? Ohhh…something tells me that this sparring was done shirtless,” Kiyah teased, putting two and two together. “Did he throw you a kiss?” 

“O-of course not!” Elain sputtered. “I think he was being strangely flirtatious, though? And I don’t think there was a declared winner.”

“He was being flirtatious,” Emerie affirmed smugly at the same time as Sona pointed out, “you’re blushing.”

“Oh, I’m not!” Elain replied hotly, but she covered her cheeks with her palms. “Alcohol makes my face red.” 

Sona rolled her eyes, clearly not believing Elain’s excuse. “I remember Lucien,” she said. 

Elain’s eyebrows rose hopefully. “From the Spring Court? You knew him back then?” 

“Oh yes. He was very distrustful of my sisters and I whenever the Tithe came around.” Sona smirked, revealing her pointy teeth. “Always had a hand on his dagger when I was near.” 

“I’m sorry.” Elain’s face fell. 

“Why apologize for him? Just because he’s your mate doesn’t mean you’re responsible for his actions.” Emerie noticed Elain’s fingers twitch around her cocktail glass, as if she didn’t like the word Sona used. “I don’t doubt Lucien’s sincerity in wanting to help. But even well-meaning Fae like him hold their own… assumptions of Fae like us.” Sona shrugged. “Who knows? The emissary may have changed since his time with Tamlin.” 

“What was Lucien like back then?” Elain asked after a pause. 

“Oh, he was very talkative,” Sona chuckled at the faraway memories. “Always had something to say. He did a lot of emissary work with equal parts charm and sarcasm.” 

Emerie, Melanie, and Kiyah both nodded silently, watching Elain’s expressions carefully. The lady’s brown eyes were gleaming curiously, and she was angling her shoulders forward with interest. 

“And…and did he have any lovers?” Elain asked, shyly. Sona’s sharp mouth and coal-dark eyes softened with a look of pity. “I want to hear the truth,” Elain added hastily. “Please don’t spare my feelings.” 

Sona nodded, taking a very long sip of her mojito. “Lucien had many lovers,” she said quietly. Elain’s hopeful expression dropped. Oh Cauldron, it’s like when I found out Mor had centuries of female lovers before me, Emerie sighed with sympathy. On the bright side, it seems Elain’s feelings for Lucien have deepened since last week. She’d seemed so ambivalent towards him during all his previous visits to Velaris, so this is a good sign. “They were never serious romances. They were more physical by nature—” 

“That’s not any better,” Kiyah chided.

“No, no, it’s alright,” Elain assured Sona before the water wraith could say anything else. “I was curious, after hearing about Jesminda.” But Emerie detected a certain tightness at the corners of Elain’s pretty mouth, a sadness in the downturn of her eyes.  

“If it makes you feel better, Lucien is flustered around you, which is highly unusual. In a good way.” Sona tilted her head curiously, bottomless black eyes twinkling. “Did you know that before that foxy male ran off from the Spring Court, he would rest by the wildflower patch next to my pond? I heard him whispering your name to the wind, talking out loud.”

The comment was enough to return Elain to her flustered state.  

***

It was just past midnight when they finally left The Orchid. Emerie’s stomach was sloshing with three different fruity slush drinks, making her regret not using the bathroom earlier. Elain, Sona, and Melanie had finished the evening with a whole bottle of wine, and were leaning against each other as they giggled and stumbled down the cobblestone road.

The gauzy breeze and warm night air were luxurious on Emerie’s wings. Windhaven nights were never like this. I was always worrying about the next day, the next week, the future. Thinking about my finances, the shop, the other Illyrians…

It was not until she befriended Gwyn and Nesta that she learned what it was like to simply live in the moment, to spend time leisurely in the company of others. She was still getting used to making friends, actual friends, so being able to dance and chat with other females tonight was certainly progress. 

They’d walked no more than three blocks when Emerie’s wings prickled uneasily. She swiveled her head, sighting a group of three males loitering outside a busy bar on the opposite end of the street. They were well dressed males, and Emerie would have passed them off as random bar patrons catching some fresh air. But their leering expressions implied otherwise. “How’s it going, ladies?” the taller one with dark blonde hair, called out. 

Elain glanced sharply at the males, and then swiveled her head back to see who the males were talking to. Big mistake. Now they know we’ve heard them. 

An audacious whistle pierced the air, and now Emerie knew for certain it was directed at them. Ah, fuck. “Don’t you know it’s rude to ignore a friendly greeting?” 

Her heart thundered in her chest, as if struggling to take flight away from the danger. Emerie didn’t want to turn and see which male whistled. Didn’t want to reach for the thin steel dagger she’d kept hidden under her skirt just yet. Males are unpredictable…if I draw a weapon I might escalate the situation. Keep calm, Emerie, keep calm. You cannot give them the satisfaction of seeing you scared.

“What’s a cute snow sprite doing in the Summer Court, hmm?” a different male called out. “Are you lost? Want to come home with us? We’ll show you a good time.”   

“Fuck, we need to go,” Kiyah hissed. They hustled around the corner and onto the main street. With more fae out and about on a weekend night, perhaps the males would be less inclined to follow them out. Surely these finer establishments would not tolerate drunken riff-raff harassing a group of females.

No such luck. The trio had indeed trailed them, voicing horrible comments loudly and without shame. “Look, they’ve got a vampyr with them!” the third male jeered. “You think she’d suck cock as well as she sucks blood?” 

Emerie’s anger flared. Sona growled under her breath, ready to turn around and probably hiss at the males. “Ignore them,” Melanie said quietly, but her pale face was tense with fear. “The sooner we make it back to the docks, the better.” 

Emerie sent a look of both pleading and warning to a group of High Fae females walking down the street towards them. Be careful, she tried to convey. Please do something. One of them made eye contact with Emerie, but instead of saying anything, the lady slid her eyes elsewhere uncomfortably. And continued walking. 

“I don’t like this,” Emerie muttered. There were plenty of passersby, but none of them were moving towards their aid. And the inaction only seemed to embolden the High Fae males, whose laughter seemed to be getting close by the second. The docks…where the hell are the docks? Every building, every block they passed appeared the same. Emerie had no idea if they were even going in the right direction. 

“What’s a pretty High Fae lady like you doing with the low-borns?” Elain wrapped her arms around herself, hurrying faster. 

Blood chilled in Emerie’s veins when she allowed herself a quick glance backwards. The males were hot on their tails, and close enough for her to realize they were perfectly sober from the clear, power-hungry look in their eyes. Maybe now is a good time to draw my knife. 

The shorter one made another vulgar statement, this time, a barely veiled threat. Waves of fear were rolling off of Elain and Melanie, making Emerie shove them in front of her. “Go, go, go,” she muttered. Why can’t someone just notice how uncomfortable this is? Why can’t anyone just say something?

It happened so fast that Emerie couldn’t react: one of the males grabbed Kiyah by her wrist and her long, blue locks of hair, yanking her away from the group. The snow sprite cried out in terror. 

Sona snarled, baring her pointed teeth as she lunged for the male gripping Kiyah. But the male only grinned as he flicked his hand, blocking Sona off with a wall of air. Sona snarled and launched herself at the invisible barrier again, but to no avail. The two other males laughed, as if Kiyah’s fear and Sona’s futile efforts were pure entertainment to them. 

“Let go of her!” Elain screamed. Somewhere in the haze, a bottle shattered. 

If the High Fae have magic, then I need to incapacitate them before they can use it, Emerie realized.  

Before she could change her mind, Emerie whirled around and punched the shortest male in the face with a closed fist before he could touch her. The oaf let out a litany of curses as he stumbled backwards, blood gushing from his nose. Fucking hell, my position could have been better, she shook her fist, knuckles smarting. Emerie shifted her position and threw another punch, an uppercut at his jaw that sent him sprawling. 

Melanie made a fearful sound behind her, and Emerie realized that by taking down the second male, she left the path wide open for the third male. Shit! I didn’t drink alcohol, yet I’m making so many careless mistakes. Emerie gave the downed male another vicious kick to the groin before running back to her friends. 

Elain, to Emerie’s surprise, was wielding a jagged broken bottle with shaking hands. She was shielding Melanie, mouth set in gritted determination and her eyes fierce.

With his focus on Elain and Melanie, the male did not see Emerie coming as she tackled him from behind. He was heavier than she’d expected, clearly someone who maintained his physique. When his legs flexed and his shoulders straightened, Emerie knew from Valkyrie training that she only had a matter of seconds before he threw her off. So she dropped down to the ground on all fours, swinging her leg out in a circle to trip and knock him off balance again. 

Tempering emotions—Mind Stilling—was a core part of Valkyrie training. Emotions could cloud one’s judgment in the heat of battle, increasing the likelihood of a fatal mistake. Bloodlust was also a male Illyrian trait that Emerie had sworn to herself not to emulate.

But right now, all she felt was rage. Incandescent, shaking rage. 

How dare they target us, ruining our night out? Do they think we are weak, that they can take advantage of us without any consequences? Because we are considered Lesser Fae? 

Emerie leapt to her feet, drawing her dagger. The male had caught himself on the ground with his hands, and her sharp eyes narrowed on her next target. I will break the bones in his hand, she vowed. I will saw his fingers off. He will never lay a hand on another female again. 

Hot anger fueled her steps, providing an extra surge of force as Emerie brought her platformed boot down onto the male’s wrist. Hard. He howled in pain as his wrist popped, effectively rendering it useless—for the moment. Given how quickly the High Fae healed, it would only be a matter of minutes before he was back to normal. She slammed her heel down on it again, viciously. 

Another curse sounded from behind her. Kiyah’s captor had released her, clutching at his blood-soaked abdomen. The snow sprite stumbled backwards, expression defiant as she wielded a bloodied icicle. But the male’s amber eyes were entirely murderous as he picked up a small rock on the road, winding up his arm to throw it straight at Kiyah. 

“No!” Emerie screamed, but she was too far away. She raised her dagger to throw it, but hesitated. What if I hit an innocent bystander instead? What if I hit Kiyah? Shit—

A wall of water erupted out of nowhere, shielding Kiyah from her aggressor. Another wave swept the male under her boot to the side, preventing her from finishing her job. Emerie gasped, wondering who created the impenetrable shield at the last minute. 

Varian had appeared at the end of the street, alongside two members of the guard. It looked like they had been running as fast as they could. 

Emerie had never been happier seeing males in her life. But she tensed when she saw Lucien standing with Varian, knowing all too well the consequences of a mated male unleashed. Here was a warrior with the ability to sizzle threats into a crisp before he even reached for the blade strapped to his belt. 

“Elain!” Lucien roared as he barreled down the street, flaming red hair streaking behind him. 

“Lucien!” Elain cried, dropping the bottle with a clatter. She stumbled towards him, terrified, and buried her face against her mate’s chest. Lucien’s russet eye blazed with fury as he wrapped an arm protectively around Elain’s shoulders. Fire sizzled at the tips of his other hand, and the air thickened with the tang of powerful magic. 

Emerie braced herself for the end. While the two may not have accepted the mating bond, no one could be sure what a mated male could do. But several seconds passed, and she was still alive. Somehow, Lucien managed to not to gut their harassers. 

“Emerie.” Varian jogged up to her, concern blatant in his brown eyes. “Shit, I’m so sorry. Did anyone get hurt? What happened?” 

Varian’s familiar face gave Emerie enough sense of security to tuck her dagger away, but her heart still pounded with anxiety. “I…I’m alright, but the male with the blonde hair grabbed Kiyah,” she replied, her voice shaky. “We were at The Orchid, and on our way back, they started harassing us.” She glanced at the errant males, the three of them looking worse for wear with their hands bound in chains fashioned from flowing water and blood crusting over wounds. 

“I’m so sorry,” Varian said again. “Tarquin will certainly hear about this. Lucien can escort you all back to the Summer Palace while I take care of this.” Emerie nodded her silent thanks, as Varian moved off to make sure Kiyah was alright.

“Are you alright?” Emerie asked Melanie, who was trembling behind her. The vampyr did not sustain any physical injuries, but Emerie knew that such experiences could inflict wounds below surface level. Melanie nodded, but her black eyes glimmered with tears. Off to the side, Sona was helping Kiyah up from the ground. The bloodied icicle had melted into a puddle of crimson water, and Kiyah’s knee had been scraped raw. 

Now that Emerie’s focus was not entirely honed on escaping, she was able to take in their surroundings. Several residents were poking their heads out of apartment windows, while others slowed down to stare at the scene as they walked by. High Fae. They’d entered a High Fae neighborhood, and yet none of them had intervened. 

“I hate…I hate how things finally stopped only when other males came,” Melanie muttered darkly. “It should have never gotten to this point.” 

It could be because we are considered Lesser Fae, Emerie thought silently. Judging from Melanie’s sad expression, her friend was thinking the same. “And I’m a Valkyrie…I should have been able to fight them off just fine,” Emerie added bitterly.  

Melanie shook her head. “Do not blame yourself, Emerie. No one is invincible. Besides, you kicked their asses real good.” But Melanie’s assurances were paltry in the face of Emerie’s worst fears. 

I survived the Blood Rite. I’m a Carynthian. I should’ve been able to defend my friends from a couple of males. I need to train harder, be stronger, so that no one can ever hurt us again…

Sona walked up to Emerie, pulling her into a hug. The water wraith’s skin was clammy and damp, but the comforting gesture soothed some of Emerie’s nerves. “Emerie, you were amazing.” 

It was hard to accept praise when so much adrenaline was still pumping through her veins. “Y-you were brave too, Sona. When you moved to protect Kiyah.” 

“I did what anybody else should have done. Us females…we need to stick together.” Us Lesser Fae, too, was what Sona’s bottomless eyes added quietly. The water wraith glanced at Elain, who approached them cautiously from behind. “I saw you too, Elain. You were ready to stick that bottle into the male if he got any closer,” Sona acknowledged. 

“If those males knew the Kingslayer was in our midst, they’d think twice about coming onto us,” Emerie tried to joke. 

“I think you meant to say Carynthian Valkyrie, instead.” Elain cracked a half smile, but her face was still stiff with shock as they began walking to the docks. 

[shay-writes-stuff]

Twisted Red Riding Hood

The red hood haphazardly lays on top of the old battered chair in the living room. Its fabric is torn and has blood stains splattered across it. The cloak seems like it’s been through hell with dirt marks and shredded threads. If the cloak looks like this, it makes you wonder what kind of battle and shape the person is in now.

“No one knew my name,” said a high-pitched voice. The creeks of an old wooden rocking chair and the crackling of a fire in the fireplace can be heard throughout the cabin. It’s raining outside, and low grumbles of thunder purr in the background. The brown whiskey bottle sits prettily on the floor while the small glass filled with dark liquor sways in her hand. With how she’s looking right now, you can tell it’s not her first bottle she’s cracked open tonight.

“They always say, “Look, it’s little red!” Or “There goes little red riding hood off to see her grandmother again!” They never talked directly to me but about me to each other. It’s as if I’m not a person like them but just an errand girl to fulfill their duties. Shit! Grandma isn’t even my real grandmother! She’s just some old hag I do stuff for that pays me handsomely so I can make a living in that town. The old woman could care less about me, and honestly, I feel the same towards her.”

The woman takes a sip out of her glass and sighs heavily. “I’m not even a little girl. I’m 25, for christ's sake. No one cares to ask me who I really am, and I’m honestly tired of being treated like an object rather than equal to them. I have better things to do than help this B.S. of an economy. From now on, I will do things my way and live by my rule.”

She finishes her glass with a big gulp and places it on the small table beside her. She looks down at the gigantic gray wolf that’s been staring at her the whole time. It has a scar running down its left eye, causing the organ to be a shade lighter than the other eye. Visible scars run along the furless areas of the animal, and it has blood staining the fur around its mouth. Its paws are also stained with blood and missing a few claws.

The girl smirks as she turns her head slightly to look at the wolf’s work. A pool of blood litters the wooden floor as an arm lays on top of it. It’s hard to see the whole picture since the couch blocks some of the view. The long, thin white hair that the woman adored about the old lady is drenched in the red liquid as her once lovely old client lays lifeless in her cabin.

“You make a pretty good team, you and I,” she said, her eyes still tracked on the body across the room.

“What’s your name,” the wolf growls. Its nasty sneer mixed with its low tone sounded as inhumane as ever.

The woman smiles and looks back toward the wolf. “You can call me Ashlyn.”

“I think Little Red suits you better,” the wolf scoffs.

“I won’t hesitate to cut your throat if you call me that.”

“Ashlyn it is. It’ll be nice working with you. I’ve been waiting to bring hell on this town, and I knew you would be interesting the first time I saw you.”

Ashlyn nods and stands up from the rocking chair. She walks over to the chair and grabs her torn red cloak, throwing the material around her shoulder and putting her hood up. “You never knew what you signed up for when you first attacked me. Now that you know me, let’s go. I’m eager to kill a couple more people before the night ends.”

[k00281262]

Large Scale Colour Sculpture

Yesterday, our brief was to create a large-scale sculpture, at least the size of ourselves, that utilised colour in an interesting way. I was intimidated- colour is something I very rarely consider (compared to form and texture). After a few false starts, I landed on moulding brown paper in an organic form, with a plan to add colour later. I used gum tape to strengthen and bond the paper.

I planned to keep the brown paper almost as a sort of exterior body shell, and line it with a pink fabric that I had. The idea is that pink (as my favourite colour) has soothing properties. After a fight with gravity, I propped my sculpture on stick legs, bringing it to a height larger than my own and also allowing me to crawl inside. I pinned the fabric inside the form, allowing it to drape underneath.

I also took the piece to the photography studio to see it against a white background, and I think that this setting makes it stand out much better.

I found this day a struggle to be honest, as I am not used to working on a large scale, and I tend to prefer materials that are soft and malleable rather than structurally sound. I am proud of where I ended up though, and feel I got a lot of work done.

[o5-blackbird]

Visibility: Visible to all Word count: 786 Tw: arguing & minor misunderstanding

[Audio: a recording lasting about five minutes.]

As soon as the audio connection was established, some noises could be heard nearby. Every few moments, a soft scratching noise accompanied by an occasional chirp would be distinctly picked up in the audio, the birds seeming to be in the midst of playing.

But… As the audio continued, something else could be quietly picked up in the background. It was muffled as if it was coming from behind a closed door. It could only be heard distinctly if one were to listen very carefully.

There were two lightly familiar voices. One was softer and held a slight accent, sounding a balanced mixture of feminine and masculine as the person spoke.

“I did not intend to make you feel as if you were being left out or that I did not have as much respect for you-”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you did leave me out and that you did disrespect me. Whether it was intentional or not, you continuously pulled that shit,” The other person interrupted sharply in a lower feminine tone, the last few words holding a tinge of something harsher then the rest.

A pause of silence followed before the other person began to speak again, barely able to get a few words out before it was cut off once more.

“I-... I am very sorry but-”

“How the fuck was I supposed to respond to that? How was I supposed to respond to you telling me that I was making too much of a fucking deal of this? How am I seemingly the only person taking this seriously while you and Dogwood ran off on your – on our – fucking date night? How do you do that and then look someone in the eyes when they are trying to talk to you and trying to ensure that you’re not some fucking traitor and yet you still have the audacity to continuously excuse their concerns?”

“... I am so sorry… I did not mean to-”

“Stop saying that. You’re repeating yourself.”

“...”

“... Nobody wants to think about this possibility… It still needs to be taken seriously. Dogwood was nearly killed. Nine was killed. Now Mana Charitable is gone – only a few days after we had agreed to settle on more relaxed repercussions – almost as if they had been planning on using that time to make a break for it before we could change our minds. Now Anderson is leaning out of neutrality? You can’t tell me this is all a coincidence?...”

“I just-... I understand your concerns; I really do… But I cannot fathom how any of us would do this…? We have all been loyal since the start… I cannot understand why someone would change so suddenly? To switch loyalty to Mana Charitable out of all groups as well…?"

He paused for a moment before continuing. "I can understand Dogwood being targeted as a method of weakening our defense but–... I do not see any reason for Nine to be targeted…? There were not any other attempted attacks identified, this was not an organized attack on the entire Council – which would certainly make more sense but this–...”

Blackbird trailed off.

The seconds began to pass, slowly trickling by; as if neither were going to make any effort to fill it, as if none of it needed to be filled, as if to admit it were to bring it to truth.

But… As the seconds passed tensely, Blackbird was finally the one to break it.

“I respect you, Maya… God, I respect you. You have been a constant source of stability in every function of our roles, our time, and everything. For that, I admire you beyond reason… Though… I cannot bring myself to accept that any of us – or any of those that we have entrusted to work directly beneath us for so long – would commit such an act…”

He trailed off for another moment before saying a few more quiet words. 

“You mean the world to me. I encourage your efforts and I share the belief that they are noble but… Please do not hang yourself on fruitless efforts.”

Another silence followed. Then quiet distant rustling of fabric as if someone were retrieving something before a few hollow steps could be heard leading further away; Green exiting.

“I-... I am sorry… Green, are you alright?...”

“I am fine. Don’t apologize… I am-..." Someone could be heard sniffling softly in the gap of quiet. A single time, followed by more silence before she continued, her words a bit more stiff. "I feel unwell. I am sending Eight to stay with you for tonight. I do not want company at the moment.”

Blackbird remained quiet for a few moments before answering. “Oh… Of course… I am-... Okay. Please take care of yourself…”

A door could be heard softly opening. “I always do,” she responded gently.

Just as quietly as the words had drifted from her lips, the sounds of another couple of quiet footsteps and a door gently but swiftly closing could be heard.

Soon after, the audio excerpt ended.