#i am not fucking normal you see my brain?

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Friends to Lovers is for the Fairytales

Word Count - 8k

Author's Note: Thank you all for requesting a part 2. Here it is, I know the word count is pretty high but the drama was too good for me to cut any parts. Also, I figured I should make a real cover for this fic since it has multiple parts now. 🤣🤣 As always thank you for reading and enjoy the drama.

Possible Triggers - friends with benefits established, use of Y/N, mentions of anxiety, panic attack, lots of cursing

Summary: When you met Jack and everything just clicked for the first time in your life. You thought that meant that you would finally get your happy ever after but maybe that isn't the case.

Part 1 Part 2

You don’t remember much from last night other than by some miracle making it home. It felt as if you were having an out body experience, like someone drugged you earlier in the night because you couldn’t feel anything. All you knew was that you craved your bed. The storm was still going strong once you reached your apartment. It almost felt as if it was displaying how your heart, body and soul felt, just raging on, praying someone would reach out a hand to hold. As you walk up the four flights of stairs to your apartmentIt hits you. It feels like how people describe a near death experience. As if the last year of your life flashed before your eyes. Your body gives out and you fall on the 3rd floor landing. Your panic attack is finally taking over your senses. You can’t feel anything and yet you feel everything at once. Your head hurts hurts as memories of you and Jack flash through it.He was always the one who talked you off the ledge. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a panic attack let alone an anxiety attack. Now to think this is your second one of the night, it pushes you over the edge.

You know Anna is upstairs, if you could just move your legs. But you can’t, you're stuck, hyperventilating as your world comes crashing down. Realizing that the love of your life, didn’t see you as anything more than some girl who was simply a fuck. The man you have spent the last almost a year building your life around. Now here you were with your hands trying to grab your chest, scratch your arms, you didn’t care if they bleed after you just needed to ground yourself. You can hear his voice in your mind “ baby it’s okay, I got you.” As you grab your shoulder and start squeezing it, what he always did to bring you back. “I am right here baby, I got you, you're so strong. You're safe.” Your other hand is going to touch your head and bring it through your hair. He always cradled your head in chest, to hide you from the world until you were ready to come back into it. You open your eyes and you scream fully accepting your pain. Because you realized that your brain just played the biggest trick on you of all, Jack wasn’t holding you. No, he was the cause of it and when your body felt like you were having a heart attack the only logical thing your brain could do was play some sick joke on you by using the man that caused the pain to calm your demons. 

You must have yelled louder than you realized because Anna came running down the stairs to you. “Oh love,” she exclaims a mixture of sadness and sympathy at seeing her friend at a low, but in the background there was a mixture of anger at Jack for helping you go so far in your journey of healing only to snatch it away in the end. She sits next you facing your body that was against the wall. “I got you love, it’s okay, everything will be okay.” She whispers in your arms.

“Come on Y/N. Let’s get you home.” she says as she slowly starts urging you to stand. Knowing that normally you like to cry behind closed doors and not on the landing of the stairs to your apartment.

“Home?” you whispered no longer crying for the moment. “But he was my home.” you slowly start to cry out again feeling yourself working back up. 

“Nope nope, we're not doing this. Look at me Y/N” you’re not sure if you move your eyes to meet hers or if she moves. You're trying to focus on how your breathing isn’t normal anymore and trying to remember the last time it was. “Hear me when I say this…are you listening?” she asks one hand on your cheek to keep your focus, the other on your forearm moving it back and forth. “You are one bad bitch and although I don’t know what happened yet. Fuck him, you hear me, he’s a dumb fucker and I told you that when I found out he couldn’t cook broccoli. What fucking adult doesn’t know how to boil water.” By the end you can hear the judgment in her voice and you laugh, it's a sad laugh but a laugh. It makes Anna breakout in a full blown smile for the first time since she found you. “Alright let’s get you upstairs, you're soaked you need a shower so you don’t get sick, and then we can do whatever you want alright love?”

You finally get up, and Anna helps you to get up the stairs and inside your apartment. Anna let’s you go to take a shower, as she goes to the kitchen getting some food ready because knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten. Then you come to the kitchen wrapped in a towel, but her back is turned to her. You're scared to speak, not trusting your voice in the moment, you wait until she turns around. “Jesus Y/N/N.” she yells her hand going to  her chest probably feeling like you jump scared her. She knows there is no way you showered yet but she asks anyway “Have you finished your shower yet?” In a soft voice not sure what you need.

“I don’t wanna be alone. Can you -” suddenly embarrassed feeling yourself on the edge of yet another crying fit, you feel like a toddler scared of the dark needing a flashlight to sleep alone at night. 

“Of course. I’ll stay on the toilet seat. We can talk or sit in silence whatever you need Y/N. I am here. I love you.” she comes up to you and hugs you. 

“Thank you,” you whisper out as you turn to the bathroom, and get in the shower. Anna stays true to her word; she sits her ass on the toilet and doesn’t move. 

After a few minutes she asks, “Do you wanna talk or silence?” 

“No silence… but I - I -” You stumble over your words as your body wash is rinsing off of you from the water. 

“Okay I can talk enough for the both of us.” She says in such a confident and non-judgment way. Your heart swells with love for the first time tonight and you have a little smile on your face although Anna can’t see it. 

She continued to talk the entire time you were in the shower updating you on her work crush, her brother calling her for advice after accidentally sending a girl  nudes when he was drunk. She went on and on about how her brother was a fucking idiot and every time she had to talk to him about girls she swears her IQ drops because the brain cells literally die from hearing his train of thought. She then goes on to make a comment about how she still thinks Luke and her brother would be best friends. By the end you’re crying with laughter for the first time that day. 

Once you’re done with your shower we climb into my bed. Anna insists on warming up the leftover pizza you had earlier, chocolate and a bottle of wine “y/n whatever the fuck happened it was big, I say this with love, but I haven’t seen that bad of an attack for you in forever. I am gonna need to be tipsy so I don’t drive to his place and beat him up.” Anna, your true ride or die, and you loved her for it. By the end of telling her everything it was nearing 2 AM and you felt like you were gonna collapse. Anna convinced you at some point to call out tomorrow, probably somewhere along your fourth glass of wine and third breakdown of the night. Which is ironic you calling out but you don’t mention that to her. She writes the email to your boss saying that you had the flu and you were ready to bring a doctor’s note when you returned. Which if you sober, you would have questioned her on. 

“Okay so what happened once you got to the bar. By the way, you are nicer than me. I wouldn't have sent his drunk ass an uber. But I’ve always said that you're nicer than me. After he practically said you were with him for the money like fuck you dude. ” You physically wince, grateful that Anna broke out a new bottle of wine so she can’t make her earlier threat a reality. Once you tell her she stands up, “I am gonna kill him.” As she goes into the living room looking for her slip ons to put on her feet, you follow closely behind. 

“No An please. Please. Don’t. I don’t want the fucking drama, okay? Plus you’ve been drinking.” you reason quickly trying to convince your friend to calm down. 

“That’s why uber exists.” She says matter of factly, you glance at the time now being almost 3. 

“If an uber comes and gets you, how do you know he’s home? Please Anna, I beg you.” As you finally reach, the app is already opened, house keys in hand. She glances up at you and sees your pleading eyes. 

“Fine. But if he EVER shows his fuckface around here, He has to answer to me.” 

“Deal” you rush out almost as if you didn’t see in the moment she would have finished ordering the uber. 

“Alright let’s go to bed. I’m not letting you sleep by yourself tonight.” You show a small smile on yourself as you follow Anna back to your room ready to pass out after such a long day. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up the next day, the events from yesterday slowly coming back to you. You don’t know whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing that you have no energy to cry. You grab your phone from the end table, mentally thanking your drunk self for plugging it in before passing out. The time on your phone displays 11:30 AM. You can’t help but wince at your background, it’s you and Jack on the boat last summer he’s driving and you're in his lap. Neither of you even knew that Quinn was taking the picture at the time since it’s taken from behind you both. 

Later when you asked him why he took it he said “i’ve never seen Jack that happy with a girl.. I wanted to capture a moment where he wasn’t being an asshole with Trevor for once in the summer. Plus it’ll be cute to have pictures from this summer to look back on.” 

Little did he know that now it made your stomach sink. You slowly went through your texts from last night and while you were sleeping. A lot of Jack that you don’t open, a few from Anna explaining that she had to go to work and that I was right when I said being hungover at work fucking sucks. One from your boss saying he hopes you feel better which you heart. The most shocking of all a text of all comes from Luke. 

baby bro Lukey 👶🏻

received 9:00 AM

Hey I just want to tell you how sorry I am about last night. I don’t know what I thought at the moment, but when Nico told me the little he heard I felt sick because I feel like this is all my fault about what happened at the bar.

Received 9:02 AM

I guess I was trying to save Jack, so he could apologize for being the biggest dumbass in Jersey. But I should have been loyal to you, I mean.. you're basically like a big sister to me. Shit when you met Emmy I introduced you as family. You helped me more than anyone with the stress and anxiety of my rookie year, you always make sure I’m okay, I mean fuck I go you for advice about well everything more than Jack or Quinn. I’m sorry about not choosing you last night to be loyal to you. I don’t expect you to answer I just, I needed to reach out and tell you how fucking sorry I am Y/N/N. 

Immediately, you feel tears coming on reading Luke’s text. People in the media always assume that Quinn is the most sensitive, but really it’s Lukey. Immediately you start texting back.

baby bro Lukey 👶🏻

Sent at 11:45 AM

Oh lukey, thank you for your kind words. I don’t blame you in any way shape or form for your jackass of a brother, I am happy you reached out, you’ve always been the sweetest. Right now I need space from everything that reminds of Jack… but I promise we will not stop being friends and you can text me anytime my baby bro Lukey 👶🏻.

baby bro Lukey 👶🏻

Received 11:48

I understand Y/n/n it’s okay but if you need anything I’m here and I know it doesn’t mean anything but I’m sorry for Jack’s actions.

The tears that were welling in your eyes fully, making you cry. You didn’t respond to Luke, but you did love the message. Then you turned around and cried yourself back to sleep. 

You woke up to Anna knocking on your door around 7:00. She didn’t bother for a response as she walked in. You turned around so you were facing the door again. As soon as Anna noticed the way you were laying and your bloodshot eyes she came running over. You could tell she had literally just walked into the apartment from work. “Oh Y/N honey” she cooed at you as she got on the bed next to you and held you to her chest, her hands running up and down your back in a comforting way. 

Your voice cracked as just above a whisper somehow you were able to get the next words out of your mouth. “I - I thought it was a dream.” As a loud sob left your mouth. As you bring one hand to grip your chest trying to dull the pain and the other grabbing tightly onto Anna’s sweater just trying to keep yourself grounded. 

“I know sweetheart. I wish it was for you,” She whispers as she holds onto you trying to bring you some sort of comfort to you as you experience one of the worst pains you have ever felt. 

Luke’s POV

Luke was just hanging out in his room playing some random PC game he just spent today trying to avoid Jack at all cost. He was feeling pretty pissed at him for hurting Y/N plus Jack hasn’t been in the best mood today after everything that’s happened over the last 24 hours or so. Luke thinks he did a pretty good job ignoring Jack since he only saw him once today right after Y/N had texted him back. A small part of him felt pity for Jack, he looked like absolute shit. Luke doesn’t remember the last time he saw his brother not only nurse such a shitty hangover but look so…broken. But his brain immediately reminds him of what he did and he hates him for hurting someone he considered a sister. Luke took all the food and drinks he would need for the remainder of the day to his room when he ran into Jack this afternoon, deciding that he didn’t deserve Luke’s presence at least not today after what he did. 

Luke noticed his phone lighting up on his desk, he saw Quinn’s contact flash on the screen. Even though he wanted to murder Jack for last night, he still respected Quinn. he decided to pause his game to answer. Once he opened the message he noticed Quinn sent something in the group chat, - but it wasn’t the group chat with just Luke and his brothers, it was the one that was used much more often the one that included Y/N - Luke’s stomach dropped because he didn’t know what was about to happen but he knew it wasn’t gonna end well. 

Quinny -

Sent at 8:03 PM

Hey, have we all decided what we’re getting dad for his birthday??

I want to order it ASAP before we forget

It’s in like 2 ½ weeks.

8:05 PM

Y/N has left the group chat the hughes & future hughes

Quinny 

Sent 8:05

Ummm.. why the fuck did Y/N just leave 

Jack did y’all get another heated debate earlier about the what’s the best beer again 🤣🤣

Jackey

Sent 8:06

I’m not doing this right now.

I can’t believe she left 

Jackey has left the groupchat the hughes & future hughes 

Luke felt the stomach drop, the familiar feeling of anxiety slowly rising in his stomach. He started mumbling a slur of curse words as he read everything unfolding. He actually felt like he could throw up when he saw Quinn Facetiming him. Luke dropped his phone in shock, falling under his desk. “Shit shit shit shit fuck me fuck me fuck fuck fuck” He started repeating like a prayer trying to bring himself comfort as he reached for his phone under the desk. If this was any other time, he would have ignored Quinn and told him to contact them himself if wanted to play “oldest daughter syndrome” for the day. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a normal time and although he would love for Jack to answer to his questions and deal with his “you fucking dumbass” facial expression and fully judging the fuck out of you eyes. He knew Quinn and he knew he was more likely to call Y/N first. Luke still felt like shit for last night, he wasn’t gonna abandon Y/N again, even if she never knew. That simple fact is the only thing that made him bite his lip welcoming the blood from the pressure as he answered the Facetime call. 

“Okay what the actual fuck is happening with them??’ Quinn asks with a mixture of confusion and concern in his face. Scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion, but his face full of an underlying message of ‘speak now or my ass is on the next plane out.’

Luke lets a deep breath out, he didn’t even realize he was holding. “Okay I can tell you what I know, but what I do know isn’t much and I need you to promise me you aren’t gonna tell mom and dad.” Luke lists his requests like his agent does when negotiating a new contact. 

“Okay..” Quinn says confusion evident in his voice and even more on his face.

“Oh and you can’t contact Y/N -” Luke rushes out.

“What?!” Quinn cuts him off raising his voice, getting annoyed at his little brother’s demands for a simple question.

“Just not today okay…just give her a few days.” Luke reasons

“Why? She’s practically family!” Quinn questions

“Just… promise you won’t. Q, please.” Quinn could hear the desperation in Luke’s face he immediately and reluctantly agreed.

Quinn opens his mouth, talking in a much softer tone “Okay Lukey sure, I promise, now tell me what the fuck happened.”  

“Okay like I said I don’t know much but this is what I do know. We had Emmy’s birthday last night and Jack showed up a little late. I mean not super late, normal Jack late but you know-” Luke’s rambling was becoming extremely noticeable as with each word his voice was quickening in speed, his anxiety beginning to be noticeable. 

“Luke first take a deep breath buddy.” Quinn patiently waits until Luke takes a few breaths before he begins speaking in a more demanding tone “Now can you please get to the fucking point!” he exclaims. 

“Okay so Jack showed up and he was off, like super off. He looked pissed he dragged me to the bar immediately ordering shots demanding we “celebrate Emerison’s big day.” Luke says, making quotation marks with his hands at the last part. “Anyway, after 2 shots I left to dance with Emmy. When I came back to the bar like I swear Q not more than an hour TOPS. He was noticeably getting drunk texting Y/N. At first I didn’t think anything of it but then I saw his face. He looked sad.” Luke admits quietly like he was tattling on his brother and didn’t want Jack to overhear. 

“What do you mean by sad? That's not Jack.”  Quinn questioned. 

“Yeah I know anyway he started telling me how he fucked up and he got in a fight with Y/N/N. I mean Q if it wasn’t for him looking like he just got the shit beat out of him and he was fighting to breathe with a broken rib. I would have laughed it off, cause they never argue even before and when they do it’s a debate at best. But - his face Q. I’ve never seen him like that. I told him to go to her, take an uber. Hell I offered to pay for it he refused, ya know his stubborn ass. Anyway, I decided to leave him to himself if he wanted to be an idiot let him, I thought.” Luke suddenly paused as he realized the next part of his story was going to be.

“Okay what happened next moose.” Quinn asked as he started walking around his apartment, he propped his phone so it was sitting up against the wall of his kitchen leaving the frame.  Luke figured he was probably making lunch after training. 

“Uhh… well I kind of fucked up Quinny.” Admitting it out loud made Luke feel worse than he has all day. 

“What? I thought this was about Jack?” Quinn asked. 

“Well he did but, I don’t know why he did this but the next time I saw him he was kissing some random girl and-” before Luke could finish his sentence Quinn came back into frame and started yelling.

“HE WAS WHAT?” Quinn asked, shock and anger mixing into his voice. 

Luke mumbling the next part “yeah and I don’t know why but I looked towards the door after I saw, I made eye-contact with Y/N”

“Wait Y/N was there???” he questions.

“Yeah she wasn’t at first.She said she didn’t wanna go out but I guess Jack’s texts worked. Quinny as soon as our eyes met I could see the pain in them even from across the bar. I wanted her to not be in pain for long, so I went to Jack and pulled him off her. I told him he’s a fucking jackass, dumbass and all the asses and that Y/N was here. How she saw him, he needed to go fix it cause Y/N doesn’t deserve that shit.” Luke says shame filling his voice. 

“Oh Lukey.”  Quinn said, a mix of hurt for Y/N and maybe a little disappointment in his brother's actions. 

“Trust me, nothing you can say to me will be anything I haven’t already told myself. I fucked up by telling him. I should have gone after her myself and not let her drive home.” Luke refuses to look at the camera as the shame overtakes his body. 

“It’s not your fault okay, you thought you were helping her. So that’s it, he went after her and she told him to fuck off I’m assuming?”

“Well I stayed in the bar, I don’t know what happened for a long period of time but Nico ended up finally catching up to them. He told me what he heard, he said that Jack tried blaming Y/N for cheating because they weren’t really dating, they never used titles. I mean everyone knows that but-” Luke starts to rant but it’s cut short by his older brother.

“JACK DID WHAT OH MY GOD I KNEW HE WASN’T THE SMARTEST I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS THAT MUCH OF IMBECILE.” He yells through the phone so loud Luke turns the volume down, he doesn’t want Jack to hear him telling Quinn.

“Yeah well I don’t know anything else, that’s all Nico said and that he cut Jack off from continuing. He also said that Y/N popped the fuck off and apparently it took everything in him not to give her standing ovation.” A breath leaving Luke’s lips somehow his chest feeling lighter than it has all day. “I felt sick when Cap told me so you're doing better than I am. Then again I was a little drunk. I did reach out to Y/N and apologized this morning. I felt like I caused that to happen.”

“No” Quinn cut him off sternly, not letting his youngest brother take any of the blame. “Yeah you might have told him she was there but I’m glad she was because she deserves better. Fuck I wish I didn’t agree to not reach out.” As Quinn pets his fingers on his temples, lightly massaging his slowly building headache that was forming. “Alright I won’t tell mom. She can find out from her son who created the mess. That’s not my problem. When am I allowed to talk to Y/N?Did she answer you this morning?” Quinn asks, finally opening his eyes and looking on the screen. 

“Yeah sort of, she said it was okay and it wasn’t my fault for Jack’s actions, but she also said she needed space from anything that reminds her of him.” Luke admits softly.

“See I told you she was too smart for Jack when we met her.She isn’t mad at you Lukey don’t carry guilt that isn’t yours. Was that the whole convo?” he asks,

“I told her I was always here for her but she only loved the message.” Luke softly admits, some of the guilt lifting after talking to Quinn.

“Alright, how many days till I can text her?” Quinn asked

Luke thought for a minute before saying, “Give it four days, Saturday our time in the morning.” 

“Fine..” Quinn agrees reductively. “Now down to why I texted the group chat, what the fuck are we gonna get Dad for his birthday?”  

——————————————————————————

It’s been exactly 3 days since your breakup with Jack. You silenced his texts along with phone calls so you couldn’t get the notification. You meant what you said when you told him goodbye, even though it has caused your chest constant pain, and be the reason you haven’t left your bed since. Today was Friday, the last day you had on that doctor’s note Anna got you. Still not sure exactly the extent of what she had to do to get it, but alas you were extremely grateful that she did. 

You allowed yourself to sleep in, somehow that felt more comforting than being awake. You finally woke up around noon and decided that the hunger in your stomach was greater  than your desire  to stay in bed. You decide to get up and throw something in the airfryer. You settled on the couch as your food was cooking, deciding what to watch. You spent most of your day just laying on your couch, in and out of sleep while the T.V. blared in the background. You heard your phone ringing and you decided to glance at who was calling to decide if you wanted to answer. 

You could feel your heart race speed up, your blood pressure go up and your stomach drop when you read who the call was from. “Mama Hughes” stared up at you. You even blinked a few times to make sure you were reading your phone correctly. But then noticed the time and date on your screen,  Friday night 6 PM. This is when Ellen always called you for your weekly check-in. It didn’t matter if Jack was home or not. She has called you every Friday at 6 since the first time you met her at the lakehouse this past summer you realized she probably doesn’t know what happened with Jack. Although, you could be mad at Jack and even ask Luke for space for a few days. You truly couldn’t allow yourself to not answer the call since she has always treated you with open loving arms that any mother would. After the week that you had you really craved the kind of love only a mom can give. You swiped to answer and put the phone to your ear, grateful it wasn’t your normal facetime call instead. 

“Hey” you speak with the most normal voice you can muster but you heard your voice crack and winced because there is no way Ellen didn’t hear it. 

“Hey Y/N, you don’t sound so well are you sick or are your allergies bothering you more today?” She asked concern laced in her voice, but before you could come up with an answer she added. “Hopefully Jack is taking care of you either way. It’s what you deserve dealing with Jack and Luke’s man colds” Letting a light chuckle out as she thought about how obnoxious they can be when they’re not feeling their best. 

You swallowed your throat before you opened your mouth. “No Ellen, um actually I have been just crying a lot so my throat is sore.” As you feel the silent tears steaming down your face at how fucked up it is that you have tell her what her son did. Now you’re regretting your decision to answer the phone because of how awkward the call was about to become. 

“Ohh sweetheart, why have you been crying? Is it because of work stress? Or all of Jack’s back to back roadies, you know he’ll be home soon love.’’ She said in a cooing comforting voice. You swear you can feel your heart break a little now. 

“No… um…. Jack and I got in a really bad fight this week.” You paused for a moment to try and think of how to word in the nicest way possible what happened. “Well it was a work night and he wanted me to go out with him, to Emmy’s birthday.”

Ellen cuts you off even though you can’t see her face. You know she furrowed her eyebrows now as listening to you. “That’s the girl Luke is dating right?” she asks, making sure she’s following the story correctly.

“Yeah I think they're dating… anyway I said I didn’t want to spend the night drinking cause I had work early the next day and he got mad. We both said some… not nice things and he left. I ended up deciding to just take him home with me after his texts from the bar and  a video Jesper  had sent me of him looking sad at the bar. But when I got there he….” You stop yourself, deciding if you really should continue telling the mother of the boy who broke your heart exactly how he did. You know Jack probably wouldn’t want his mother to hear about his love life in this detail.

“He what Y/N/N, it’s okay you can tell me. What did he do honey?” 

“I saw him with a girl… they were kissing.” your voice whispers on your last few words. 

“HE WHAT?” Ellen screamed, you had never heard her so…angry the whole year that you’ve known her. You assumed she muted the phone probably to try to collect herself. Which honestly, you were grateful for because you also muted your phone to let yourself to sob. You're not sure how long you both stayed on the phone, each of you on mute, but somehow it was still more comforting than being alone. You’re truly not sure how much time had passed until you heard Ellen on your phone call for you through your phone. 

“Hmm?” you let out.

“I am so sorry that I somehow failed to raise a decent human being. Have you spoken to him yet, did he know you were there? Not that it matters…. I honestly don’t wanna talk to him right now.” she said this in such a monotone voice, that you knew there was no way she wasn’t being honest at the moment. 

“Yeah… he followed me outside actually.. to say it was a dumpster fire wouldn’t do it justice… he told me he didn’t really cheat because he didn’t know we were together.” You say somehow some of the anger from that night is coming to you now that you were allowing yourself to think about it.

“wait Y/N we must be having a bad connection. You said he didn’t know you were dating?” the pure shock in her voice making you smile because you knew  by the sound of her voice that  she was questioning Jack’s actions. You allowed yourself to find comfort in that. 

“Yeah” your way of softly confirming her assumptions. 

“That’s it. I am booking a flight right now. I mean I can’t stomach looking at him right now. Actually, I guess I’ll book two tickets so Jim can come deal with his son.”  The emphasis on “his son” not slipping past you. You could hear Ellen yelling in the background.

“JIM…” She yelled it was obvious they weren’t close to each other at the house at the moment.

“WHAT?” He yelled back that you would hear footsteps in the background. 

“Get the suitcases from the garage for me. We’re going to Jersey on the next available flight!” she tells her husband you can hear the rush tone in her voice like she’s running around the house looking for something. 

“Why?” he asks curious

“Because your son fucked up more than ever before, Y/N needs me, and it would be nice to see Luke too.” Jim must have decided it wasn’t worth asking any more questions. 

“Ellen!” you say possibly a bit louder than intended but you needed to get her attention. 

“What?” she asks, coming closer to wherever she sets her phone down. 

“Please don't come, okay. I am fine plus I have a lot of errands I need to do this weekend. My apartment is a mess, I have work on Monday, and I don’t think I would be the best company right now.”  You say hoping that Ellen decides to not just fly to Jersey because someone who isn’t even blood was crying on a phone call. 

“Y/N hear me when I say this, you matter to me and this family minus Jack at the moment. I am not really claiming him at the moment.” You accidentally cut her off a chuckle escaping from your lips, Jack definitely got his attitude from his mom. “Okay.. I don’t care about your apartment, if you want I can stay at the door and we can just go to lunch. It’s good to get out of your apartment. Plus I would love to see Luke - the boys always claim I show him favoritism. Which I deny but he is definitely my favorite… my own little moose. Plus I already bought my tickets for this Sunday and I can’t cancel it because it’s too close to get a refund. So you will definitely see me this weekend.” 

You know there isn’t any convincing her otherwise, even if she didn’t already buy her tickets. You let out a deep sigh as you let out an “okay.” You quickly said your goodbyes and hung up.You glance at the time to see it’s almost 6:30 and decide you probably should cook a proper meal for yourself for the first time this week. Since you haven’t eaten since noon before your nap, only to realize you were out of everything in your apartment.

Jack’s POV

It had officially been three days since Jack felt he made the biggest mistake of his life. He tried to reach Y/N multiple times through text and calling, he knows she didn’t block him because it shows that she read them.. Luke has barely even glanced at Jack since Tuesday, which given that they live  together is impressive. Especially considering the fact both of them were on the same team and had multiple practices together since. Coach tried to talk to them today after practice about it because he finally became fed up after 2 practices. Luke is not one to be an asshole to any of the coaching staff so it was a shock to Jack when he heard the words out of Luke’s coach.

“Sir respectively, am I not still doing my job? In fact am I not doing it better than what some would refer to as my brother?” If it wasn’t for the fact that it was a dig at Jack himself, there is no way he could have stayed quiet with a roast like that. 

“EXCUSE me?” Coach asked. But it really wasn’t a question, it was a statement, a warning. 

“Okay sorry, but we’ve been fighting lately.” Luke mumbles out his excuse, but Jack was too busy looking at his skates. Wondering how they could get so much dirt on them when he played in an arena. 

“Jack sorry to interrupt whatever the fuck your looking at” Jack could sense the annoyance in Coach’s voice but he didn’t care to look up yet. “But do you have anything to add about this little “fight” y’all seem to have had and why the fuck it’s showing up on my rink!” Their Coach demands the last part, not leaving any room for interruption on how he was feeling about this situation, absolutely fucking pissed. 

Jack finally decides to look up and speak for the first time. “No coach. I am sorry. Luke was right I haven’t been playing myself, take me off the line if you want. Don’t punish Moos-” Jack almost let the childhood nickname slip out but he knew Luke wouldn’t want Jack to use it right now. “Don’t punish Luke for this. I deserve to sit out. -” 

Coach decided he couldn’t listen to any more of Jack’s shitty attempt at a speech that wasn’t giving him answers to anything he was asking.“ LISTEN HUGHES, BOTH OF YOU, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOUR FIGHT STARTED WITH AT HOME. BUT YOUR AT WORK, AT WORK YOU GOTTA BE PROFESSIONAL. YOU THINK I LIKE EVERYONE HERE -FUCK NO - BUT I STILL GOTTA SEE THEIR DUMBASSES EVERYDAY! Y'ALL ARE BROTHERS FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT.” Luke and Jack glance at each other for the first time in days. For the first time in days, he felt a wave of hope. Maybe if Luke could look at him it means he could forgive him, and if Luke could forgive, of course his angel Y/N maybe could too. 

“You know she was important to me too. She was family and although she says nothing will change I know it will never be the same. I am pissed at you, pissed at you for hurting Y/N. But also pissed at you because for some reason that night I looked at you when you came back J, I felt so guilty for pointing her out to you, because of what Nico said he overheard. But I looked over at the bar, you just sat there like nothing fucking happened and that’s just wrong.”

Before I can respond, Coach cuts in “Wait this is about Y/N? I wouldn’t have thought Y/N would be the reason y’all would fight, I mean Jack haven’t y’all been dating for 6 months?” Obviously at this point just deciding to be fucking nosey. Luke didn’t mind as much as I did.

“OH MY GOD THANK YOU! THIS DUMBASS WENT AND KISSED A GIRL AND THEN BLAMED IT ON Y/N BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY NEVER TALKED ABOUT BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND LABELS OR BEING IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP!” Jack could have  sworn to God in that moment that he had never seen his Coach laugh so hard as he is right now. I mean the man had hands on his knees, tears in his eyes laughing at me. 

“Oh wow… Jack your fucked in the head if you really thought that.” Coach exclaims after his laughing fit.

“Coach, he didn't think so. He told her that and more.” Luke says smug now that someone else agrees with him that i messed up. 

“Oh son. Whoo I ain’t jealous of you boy.” and with that the Coach leaves the locker room leaving Luke and Jack by themselves. Since all the other boys had left earlier because he and Luke had to do 20 bag skates due to their “issues” with each other.

“You know I regret that entire day right? I - I fucked up Lukey and now -” For the first time in days Jack let himself think about her physically walking away from him.  Jack doesn’t cry often especially in front of people but the fact that it was just Luke he didn’t give a fuck. Jack let himself feel the pain that his own actions caused. It's what he felt he deserved. Jack fell into his bench and let his mind wander as it took him back to that night. He was so out of it he didn’t notice Luke kneeling down in front of him and put one of his hands on Jack’s knee trying to grab his brother’s attention.

“Hey.. Jack…okay” It’s like Jack’s ears were under water he could only hear every other word. His next thought made him spiral only deeper into the hole his ,ind created as he thought, ‘fuck did I make her feel like this.’

“JACK.” Finally Jack made eye contact with his brother. “Good, take a deep breath, you’re alright dude.” Luke stays like that, one hand on Jack’s knee, the other holding the back of his neck so his eyes don’t wander. Actually it took until that moment for Jack to realize that Luke’s other hand was on the nape of his neck.  “You alright?” Luke talks in a low voice even though they are the only ones in the locker room, somehow a louder voice would feel too loud in the moment.

“Yeah as good as I can be.” I answer in a rugged voice from just finishing crying. 

“Look I don’t hate you, you're my brother, but I am still mad at you okay? I just - I don’t know dude.” Luke says it like he’s thought about this in detail and yet still can’t wrap his mind around the events that took place. Jack thinks about if only Luke knew how bad the first fight of that day was, when he tried to call her a gold digger. Jack knew she was anything but that, yet he  couldn’t help this thought taking over his mind. He remembered she always put even a simple Starbucks coffee her order in on the app so that Jack couldn’t pay for it. How she would deny Jack’s venmo requests when he tried to shower her with money for her coffee that week or so she could buy that new pair of shoes she wanted. 

“I know” Jack mumbles but when he catches Luke’s eyes he can’t help but desperately ask his next question. “Have you talked to her?” The worry in Jack’s voice is almost as bad as the impulse to ask about her. This is the longest that Jack has gone without talking to her since the night they met. Jack was desperate to know how she was, he longed to go to her apartment and see her. Especially, since he hasn’t been able to sleep without sleeping pills because she’s not in his arms. 

“We texted the day after but I started it and it wasn’t long. I have no idea how she's doing but I also respect Y/N enough to not tell you because she wouldn’t want me to.” Luke spoke softly but matter-of-factly. He also didn’t want to make his brother emotional again, people always say Quinn is the most awkward with emotions but it was by far Luke. He struggled with his own emotions and shyness, when people showed raw emotions he felt frozen, wanting to help but not knowing where to begin. 

“Right, of course.. No problem Lukey.” Jack stood up and started taking his gear from practice. Slowly his anger built at the entire mess, but somehow it ticked Jack off more that Luke was siding with Y/N. But his heart and his soul has never been more grateful because if he couldn’t look out for Y/N at least his little brother was able to. 

“Alright I guess I’ll see you at home” Luke says as he heads for the shower, having already been half out of his gear before the coach made them stay to talk. 

“Actually I have some errands to run so I’ll catch you later.” Jack rushes out to stay as he decides to just change into sweats. 

“Jack.. promise me you aren’t going over there” Jack looks at Luke as his words process in his mind. Jack can see the fear in his brother's eyes and it makes his stomach hurt again.

“I promise I have errands to run. I need  go get some groceries and dry cleaners.''He turns around finishing packing his gear, sliding his car keys and wallet in his pocket. “Hey do you have anything you need from Trader Joe’s I might stop on the way home?” Jack quickly slides his sneakers on.

“Nah, I'm good. See ya at home I guess.” As he disappears behind the wall to shower. 

Y/Ns POV

You decided ultimately that you didn’t have any food in your apartment. because of your mood the last couple days, you’ve been ordering way too much Doordash and your bank account couldn’t financially support that continuing. You decided to  take your time getting ready to go to Trader Joe’s mostly because you have been in pj’s for an embarrassing amount of time. You made your way out of your house in jeans and some light makeup. Somehow getting dressed like a normal human helped your mood improve. 

By the time you made it to the grocery store across Newark you could see it was dusk and getting colder. The only hoodie you had in your car was Jack’s. you really didn’t want to wear his hoodie after everything, but you hated  the idea of being cold more, so you put it on. You hated the fact that it still smelt like him, but you loathed the fact the amount of comfort it brought you. Trying your best to ignore the smell of his cologne, You grabbed your wallet and reusable bags and made your way inside. You kept your hood up and a hat on, along with your sunglasses. Unfortunately living in this town and your relationship, sometimes you got recognized. The fans were wonderful, but the idea of running into any fans on your first outing out of your apartment made your stomach hurt. You grabbed a cart on your way in and put on your earbuds in. Jack always hated you putting both earbuds in, claiming that it wasn’t safe. You thought to yourself that’s the first positive thing you’ve come up with since everything happened. You smiled to yourself feeling like this trip was your first step of self healing. 

That was until you got distracted walking down the frozen isle looking at all the snacks looking for your favorite. Pushing your cart along you didn’t realize how close you were to the end of the isle and t-boned a cart. You were about to say a passing apology as you pulled your cart and they moved their cart forward. You knew that side profile from anywhere. You glanced up and The person you just happen to bump into with a cart on first trip out the apartment is no other than Jack Rowden fucking Hughes.

[bonnieura]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping

[neverbelessthan]

I just read someone’s hot take on ‘the mermaid scene’ being ‘peak cringe’ and I just-

Sweet, sweet human. That’s Ed’s psyche you’re taking about. My dude is having his life flash before his eyes in the most beautiful little heartbreaking s1 montage, and if that’s how he wants to picture Stede coming to redeem his lonely fucking soul - as a glittery goddamn tits-out merman, then that’s HIS GODDAMN BUSINESS.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

preemptively sorry for how fucking long this is it is YOUR FAULTT THOUGH!!!! large bowl of seeds for u. it is almost 2am sorry.

SO. there are. two ways to assign the prime defenders powers etc. the first way is just, like, categorize their existing powersets within the prt framework, & the second is to give them entirely new abilities based on the way worm works. delightfully, all the powers they Do have work really well for the most part, so even that doesn't require a ton of shuffling.

categorizing their pre-existing powers:

wiwi-- breaker w/ a shaker subclass. neither of them rated very high, but that's already a rare and versatile enough combination!!

dakota-- brute babeeeey!!! brute/mover its so straightforward. hell yeah babey. i don't know what he'll end up looking like post-heart removal & stuff but my guess is that'll end up looking more like a mover/striker.

vyncent-- now THIS one gave me trouble. i... hm. to say this without talking about stuff that i don't think has come up much already, (hey!! you're at that clockblocker pov! directly related to what flechette says!) i'd call him a grab-bag cape, irt the greats at least. post-greats-- again, i don't know what his powerset will look like after this arc! but if he's going all in w/ the fire magic, that would for sure be some striker shit! :]]]

giving them new powers... man i'm reining myself in so hard from five more paragraphs on Why exactly i'm saying all this.

wiwi still breaker for sure, maybe breaker-master, maybe master-stranger. yknow. powers are fluid, the prt categories are pretty rigid. i... don't know. enough about his situation yet to be clearer than that vague idea yet-- i really like the idea of him just. ditching his body & using a noncorporeal form but he still has to keep an eye on his body i think that's great. the noncorporeal form would b able to change its visibility but still b limited by proximity to the body. & fluctuating energy shit powered by fluctuating amounts of recent-death in the area, maybe probably also limited in that it's only accessible in his breaker form.... also i think u will appreciate this style note from the [UNNAMED PARAHUMANS TTRPG] i'm referencing a lot here.

dakota--in this situation he probably would not. have that mechanical heart and shit. he' would still be a mover/thinker-- thinker rating is for faster mental processing + senses imminent pain for the people in his immediate vicinity. not danger, just pain; it immediately registers ambiently & can be generally traced back to whoever it is. no he can't turn it off ever, it manifests as feeling a similar level of pain, yes it works on himself. + mover-- he can fucking fly. no super strength, just very fast flight & the general "won't splat himself flying into something" capabilities, which meshes well w/ the faster processing & reflexes. i'm split on how exactly this would work mechanically but i will NOT go into that now. i am also not going into the 15k discussion in my brain on why dakota 'notoriously bad at thinking about things' cole would be a thinker but u gotta trust the process ok??

vyncent-- trump!!!! somehow this is the only straightforward one to me? he can copy powers at the full strength or ability level of the original for an unspecified amount of time that's usually 1-30 minutes by touching the cape. crucially, he doesn't have any edge on how to use these powers + can easily misuse or become extremely overwhelmed by them. he's easily the most powerful out of the three of them <33

ashe-- ashe is NOT HERE currently and also it's 1:30 am so i gotta go fucking sleep soon BUT they would be a master. easy. :o) they can make some lil guys n do stuff with them!!!!

in general these are pretty fucking cracked abilities, all of them would b oosely above a seven or so in a number rating once they're really settled in their powers-- this is mostly because i'm assuming that they would still be heirs-apparent to the prime force equivalent, which would b the triumvirate :]] anyway. good lord. this is like the cliff notes edition of what i've been thinking and scribbling in the notes app for the past several hours. sorry if it's fucking incomprehensible. gn!!! <333

AAAAAH FUCK YESSSSSS OKAY OKAY OKAY my response is probably going to be equally as long. so it's fine. oooouh buddy.

I KNOW WHAT BREAKER MEANS NOW !!! I dontttt think ive learned shaker yet. breaker is like.... breaking the laws of physics/shifting planes or whatever. PERFECT for william hell yes. for putting them actually in worm world ... ughhhh breaker/master william is REALLY cool. I havwnt learned stranger yet but i think he would develop a complex over being classified as stranger <3 (like how weld doesn't like that he's classified as a brute even though that's not exactly what it means, he just doesn't like the word) . GODDDD just thinking abt putting pd boys in worm is fucking me up haven't they been through enough. I want to see them all in a fit of despair. william ditching his body is SO good I miss when he would do that, also the powers being limited by how far away he is AND THE AMOUNT OF RECENT DEATH IN THE AREA. holy shit. that's so fucking good . im sure he would not overthink at all the fact that he is stronger when more people around him have died . I'm sure he'd do awesome in the leviathan fight for sure for sure .

DAKOTA BRUTE <3 DAKOTA BRUTE/MOVER I LOVE THIS A LOTTTTTT hellbyes. awesome. it's so perfect for him <3 worm world I'm SURPRISED u didn't stick with brute for him. eyes emoji. I trust your judgement but now i am Thinking... Hmm..... YOU BRING INTO QUESTION something I have been thinking about. and I'm going to probably get derailed a little here but stay with me. how the way powers manifest directly relate to the trigger event. because for a WHILE before we learned taylors I was like "OH i bet the powers are going to be directly related to what traumatic thing happened to them" and then we learn about taylor and grue and a couple more and I kind of lost that theory because while you can. technically draw relations between their powers and their events it seemed like too much of a stretch to do . HOWEVER now my thinking has changed AGAIN and I think the powers ARE related to specific trigger events but it's not as straightforward as "oh something scary happened to you with bugs so now you have bug powers" I think it's gonna be more complicated than that. WHICH. THE WAY THIS RELATES. BACK ON TOPIC NOW. to DAKOTA . assuming his trigger event is still he and katori falling off the building I think it's AWESOME that his powers would manifest as FLIGHT for one. and the fucking. pain sense thing. fuck me up. dakota extreme hero complex cole would be so fucked up by a power where he ambiently senses pain from the people around him at all times and cannot turn it off. I'm sure he would feel so normal about being around william chronic pain wisp 24/7. also I can SO CLEARLY imagine how this power specifically would lead to him getting super overwhelmed in chaotic situations like he does in canon. and just fucking. bolt out of there because it's too much. again. he'd have such a wonderful time in the leviathan fight

I AM AT CLOCKBLOCKER POV !!!! actually technically I'm on kid win pov now but I haven't finished his chapter yet. vyncent grab bag cape..... yeah... I think it would be EXTREMELY funny imagining the PRT in pd world trying 2 classify vyncent like. what the fuck does this kid do . what do we do with him. hes got other guys in his head that give him powers. is he a master??? no he can't fucking control them. is he a striker??? only SOMETIMES. is he a blaster?? AGAIN ONLY SOMETIMES. cannot classify him bitch!!!!!!!! giving him worm powers though.. UGH. being able to touch someone and COMPLETELY copy their powers but only for a short period of time???? I fucking love that a lot. he WOULD be the most powerful out of them!!! I can hear taylors inner analysis dialogue about him now and it's very similar to the clockblocker "DONT LET HIM.TOUCH YOU" panic. loooove imagining this playing off of the rest of pd,,, i know there was AT LEAST one time where he had william sort of transfer some of his ghost powers for a minute? I think it was during the lich fight in the theatre but i just remember vycnent floating and going intangible and NOT KNOWING how to control it or anything. loveeee that. in world dynamics I feel like vyncent would be a late addition to their team (instead of coming from another world maybe he just. had his trigger event happen way later than the other two..or something.) and not trusting them as much at first/being REALLY shaky using either of their powers but after a while being really comfortable in a fight with using either Williams or dakotas powers in a fight. Just like. imagining the fluidity of how they'd work together in a tense situation assuming they're not being complete dumbasses <3333 UGH it's really good

AAAASHE ASHE ASHE IM SOOO SO GLAD YOU INCLUDED ASHE IN THIS I miss him.so much every day. from what I know so far master involves having/making/controlling some sort of minion (cannot think of a better word than that rn) AND I THINK THATS REALLYYYY perfect for ashe. i assume he would actually work pretty closely to canon in that his limitation would be the book? or if he doesn't have the book maybe his limitation would be a) having only a few different types of things he could summon (the big hand, the water fairy, duck etc) and/or b) only being able to control them.for a short amount of time after they're summoned so he has to be quick about dismissing them. can't keep the demon hand around for too long or it might start picking things up and throwing them at random. putting teammates in danger bc he can't control it anymore etc etc. alsooooooo in clockblocker pov they VERY briefly mentioned the possibility of having secondary trigger events (?!!!!?!?!) and you know I locked onto that SO FUCKING HARD. ashe being born with powers and then his secondary trigger event being his mom's death <3 im.NOT even going to attempt to talk about how the trickster would work in worm world/if it would even exist in this setting bc i don't know enough about the types of powers and things yet..but just know. I am keeping this in the back of my mind "this is a fun surprise tool that will help us later" style

[talentforlying]

the mermaid: do you think ever really loved me? constantine: ah, now. listen, you can go back and forth about what's genuine, what's lies. none of it matters. you take it from me ... all love's magic. and all magic has a price.

behold: a guy who has been so starved of affection and approval and visible love his whole life that he takes whatever he can get when the opportunity presents itself to be loved, regardless of what it will cost him. who loves unapologetically and hard and without regret, regardless of whether it's good for him.

[steampoweredskeleton]

Ignore

[poorgay]

i just want them to talk

[boogiewoogieweeb]

it's all fun and games typing up a silly, rickety little au idea in the tags of someone else's post and then suddenly you find yourself expanding on the world-building and plotting out interconnected stories for characters you swore would only make background appearances and your brain is On Fire with the need to write even when you know you can't commit to yet another doomed wip

[hobisexually]

long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on

[whumpy-wyrms]

i was watching the amazing world of gumball earlier and there was a character named Anton and it made me instantly think of your Anton and i just needed you to know that

REAL. i’ve said this before but tawog is literally where Anton’s name came from. i do this thing where whenever i see a name i like and might use for a character in the future, i write it down in my notes app to save for later and i must’ve done that during my very intense four month long tawog hyperfixation in 2022. so when i was looking for a name for Anton (during the same exact time), i saw that name in my notes app and just thought it suited him! Anton is technically named after a piece of toast from the amazing world of gumball and i think that’s really funny

i actually just rewatched the Anton episode after i got this ask and. GUYS LOOK AT THE FUCKING SYNOPSIS

“ANTON’S LITTLE TOASTY BODY DISINTEGRATES DURING A SWIM CLASS” I’M SOBBINGGGG THAT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY (in the context where i think of my Anton whenever i hear his name because he is the only thing i’ve been thinking about for the past 8 months straight ANYWAYY)

it’s funny too because that episode is all about CLONES of Anton. there’s just a bunch of Anton clones running around and dying over and over again and that honestly isn’t too far off from how things were like in tllr before Anton got Dew /hj

anyway i am watching tawog again rn look what you’ve done. i will be watching this all night. it’s literally my favorite series in all of existence (lie. tma) Rob and mr small are gonna make me go insane again i’m gonna write another 70k word tawog fanfiction again because of you (/lh /j) anyway i love tawog very much i’m happy my followers have taste

[dredshirtroberts]

oh shit y'all.

i've done gotten invested in Gurren Lagann. we're like 19 episodes deep in this paint and i have been emotionally compromised by the silly mechs.

believe in the me.

[artemismatchalatte]

Wow. Sometimes I'm very lucky and my bipolar doesn't always affect me much. But no such luck lately. I'm worried that I might have to retake my modern lit course because I was so late with many of my assignments. I've been mentally messed up more or less with a mixed mood episode since last September. I'm currently on the line of passing and not passing the class (granted there are a few ungraded assignments, including my final so it's still possible that I'm overreacting). I'm usually a good student too so it's a point of pride for me. I went from the honor roll to this all due to me fighting with an illness... :/ (It is my fault for not managing things better so I'm not looking for pity here- just talking).

I cannot imagine how horrible this disorder is for people who didn't have the option of medication (I am medicated, believe it or not). I think about that about that a lot since I study history and look into many writer's and artist's biographies in my spare time. I feel very bad for them since they basically had to live with this disorder without the fixes I have simply because I was born late enough for treatments to exist.

Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath both haunt me. Other people too. Yes, Lord Byron was extremely shocking but consider- we don't actually know what he would have been like if he could have been treated. He wouldn't have died at 36, I'm almost certain of that. I am highly aware of what this disorder has done to people before me. It doesn't make it better. But I keep looking back any way, to see that many of them did incredible things, in spite of it all.

I just keep thinking that if they could do so much without any treatment- that I should be able to function with treatment??? I know: don't compare yourself to other people but I'm desperate to know that I can be successful even with this illness. That it's not going to force me to leave school (the one thing I have been historically good at) and waste my life toiling away for nothing.

So if it seems as if I have been hitting my head against something lately, you aren't wrong. The fall is not generally my friend, pretty as the leaves are. I have not been having a good time of it but we must go on any way because what other option is there? None, I tell you.

[gongedtornado]

help girl i got too silly <\3 (overthought every interaction ever)

[47-protons]

I love blorbo bingus from my brain. I'm going to put him through a pasta maker. Hes going to be like flat stanely by the time i'm done with him <3

[tibli]

worst thing abt studying anatomy and physiology is reading the blood chapter and being forced to see ABO while trying to Not Think About It