#i am not abandoning this blog to start a new one just because my interests change

[alanaartdream]

With my adhd brain my interests are many and some I will stick to while other times I don’t ever go back to ever or sometimes I don’t go back to some interests I had until many many many MANY years later or when one of my other interests finished it’s corse

So I don’t know many who would be able to wait that long for my person to have same interests as I do for long or who’s willing to wait for the off chance I’ll get back to a forgotten interest I’ve not been into for years

Heck with all the different drawings / sketches/scribbles I’ve done for each of those interests I’d be surprised many have managed to find all the posts I’ve made here from when I started this blog

I’m just glad for those who like my drawings enough to leave a like; a nice comment and a reblog for my drawings/sketches/ scribbles & posts here

I’m not gonna start a new blog & make a new one just because my interests change so often;

I remember a lot tumblr artists of the past use to do that

That just doesn’t work for me I like to look back on how my artwork has changed over the years

So my this tumblr like a time capsule for me to look at when anyone reblogging one of my way older posts & I’d go

Oh yeah I posted that once didn’t I .. huh was I into that once or how did I manage to draw like that

the whole mutual thing is really overhyped on this site. sometimes interests don’t match up and that’s the only reason why there isn’t a mutual following. if you’re a regular in my inbox or my notifications, i have visited your blog before. if i didn’t want you around for any reason, you would be blocked. so yeah. you can spam my notes and/or talk with me (and possibly become my friend) even if i’m not following you back. no worries.

[sorcerous-caress]

I hope you are doing well

Did I- Did I make it seem like I'm going crazy or something? Like yes I am okay, I promise.

Well, no. I lied, but I'm not worse than normal. I have always been this deranged. It is not out of the ordinary. Why the concerns now?

But thank you anyways, I hope you're doing well too.

[kazz-brekker]

hotd episode 6 thoughts

boy oh boy this episode was so full of many delicious character moments, i feel very well fed

aemond really was in his best goth villain era tonight, honestly good for him!

i have never seen tyland lannister look more uncomfortable than he did with aemond looming over him lmao

i enjoyed the scene where aemond is firing alicent from the council while also simultaneously holding her hand in place so she'll keep touching his face…tasty tasty family issues

loved that song that the dragonkeepers were singing while summoning seasmoke, it was a very cool detail

also, it was really fun seeing seasmoke again, especially since he's grown bigger since we last saw laenor riding him

man, aegon and rhaenyra really need to put out an ad in the paper for new members of the kingsguard and the queensguard, those guys are dropping like flies

ever since daemon's visions at harrenhal started i really hoped that we would get to see viserys since so many of daemon's issues stem from being cast aside as heir by his brother so i'm SO pleased we got those scenes, it was a present Just For Me

daemon bro stop threatening simon strong he's a nice old man who's done literally nothing bad to you

greatly enjoying this dynamic of daemon and his new bestie the weird witch who may or may not be psychologically tormenting him with visions of his past mistakes and issues

genuinely alys is my favorite new character this season, she's so fun and i just adore her scenes

madam sylvi, dyana, and ulf getting together to bitch about the food shortages…the greens better look out the smallfolk are unionizing

i am getting the sense that aemond and madame sylvi had a…less than amicable end to their working relationship

aemond tormenting aegon in his sickbed really made me go c'mon dude haven't you made him suffer enough, leave him ALONE!

from rhaena's scenes in the vale it appears that they've cut the character of nettles and give rhaena her storyline instead. not sure how i feel about this…i'm all for rhaena getting more to do but nettles is also an interesting character in her own right

knowing alyn and addam's parentage going into the show i suspected that alyn shaves his head because he inherited the velaryon white hair and i was pleased to see i was right

baby stormcloud is so cute! but holy shit my the pit of my stomach really dropped when jeyne arryn mentioned the ship the gay abandon. my fellow book readers, i am full of dread!

i really liked the scene between gwayne and alicent, since he wasn't in the first season it's interesting to see how their relationship with each other and otto has been affected by that huge distance

i kind of miss otto, i hope he comes back by the end of the season

daeron mention! facts about daeron! a personality! never thought i'd see the day!

one of my favorite hobbies is being emo about scenes of alicent physically putting herself between her children and physical harm so i liked her and helaena fleeing from the riot together

that scene with larys and aegon was sooooooo interesting, there's definitely some manipulation/attempts to curry favor coming from larys, but i also hadn't considered that he might now feel some genuine solidarity with aegon after his injuries and can speak frankly about his disability and offer advice

i have been waiting since daemon got to harrenhal and began being tormented for him to have a breakdown and start crying so i was quite pleased when that happened :)

knowing that seasmoke is chasing after addam because he wants him to be his rider made that whole sequence really funny to me

i have often blogged about how daemon and rhaenyra each have what the other one wants (freedom and patriarchal status vs. viserys's love and position as his heir) so it was super fun for me to hear rhaenyra actually verbalize that

i have been super into queer readings of this show since the beginning and all season whenever rhaenyra and mysaria interact i've been like "hmm…are they flirting…" but i truly did not expect them to actually kiss. rhaenyra targaryen canonically queer! on my tv screen! never thought i would see the day!

crazy to think that we only have 2 episodes of this season left after this, can't wait to see what unhinged drama still awaits us

[mdhwrites]

how do you feel about disability rep in the owl house? Anyway it could've been done better? Cause as someone who is neurodivergent (autism) I felt like Luz's arc had unfortunate implications ('shes literally neurodivergent and a Minor' type vibes and mixed in with the whole fantasy vs reality themes and it came off as telling neurodivergent people to reject reality or like we wouldn't be hindered in the slightest by our disabilities in xyz worlds- which feels gross) but I could be reading into this too much. I also don't like how Hunter lost his 'disability' yeah you can compare it to getting a pacemaker or a mobility aid with his problem not being fixed but made better but that 'pacemaker' came at the cost of his best friend and his whole possession situation felt gratuitous to me. I'm really interested in seeing how Hunter could've been done better if you have any ideas

So I am going to try to be as calm and kind on this subject as I can. I feel like I've let a lot of heat come into my blogs lately that I try not to because I've been in distress. I am actually, legally disabled after all. It is the vast majority of my income, not helped by how randomly my brain will just break and I will have no way to get it to work again. I'm on the brink of another who knows how long run of my brain no longer functioning and am clawing to try and keep it together so I can do SOMETHING besides just ramble in these blogs. So I can keep writing or streaming rather than vanish. So this topic is important to me to put it extremely mildly.

To talk about this with The Owl House we kind of have to talk about each angle it takes on this subject one at a time. Eda and Hunter are two sides of the coin for this representation after all. I know you bring up Luz and yes, nuerodivergence can be disabling but if we want to talk about disability, I don't think Luz is actually a part of the conversation. If she is, it's for the theoretical representation of depression in S3 when she is at her worst as a character. People like to claim trauma and depression for why it's okay that she's constantly lying, or why she tries to abandon an entire world despite admitting it's her fault it's in trouble. She is her absolute worse self in that time and... If that is the rep we get for mental illness, I'll wait another five years. I don't want someone who is entirely apathetic to others and makes excuses for their actions to be the one who represents me, not when I hear that shit from assholes on the news too much already.

We'll start positive and head down from there. Eda actually starts out great. With regular medication and self care, she is able to live a fairly normal life. I have admittedly criticized in the past that there is no cure for the curse, that Eda is a slowly ticking time bomb who only through death will not end up harming all of those around her eventually, but I actually want to rescind that. As a dramatization of the anxiety that especially mental disability brings about of that day when everything breaks, even if it never comes, it works. It's within the confines of the fantasy genre and isn't demonized but sympathized that she has to work so hard to hold this back. But she can and she stands strong despite it, stronger than most in her situation in a way that is inspirational.

Then we get our first slip up with her at the end of S1. In order to find reprieve, to come back from the edge... She shares her disability. Her peace of mind, her ability to be a human being, comes at the cost of another person. I say slip up though because one could argue it's dramatization of the communal help that many disabled people need. I worked as a Home Care Aid at one point for someone in a wheelchair. My own family helps me because I am a complete mess of a person. I do my best to be able to function entirely on my own but when you are literally incapable of being a functional human being... Yeah, help is good. Do I like how high of a cost it comes for Lilith? Not really, nor the fact that she becomes disabled in the same way because some people do think disability and mental illness is contagious but I'm willing to let it slide for the sake of dramatization.

Affearances genuinely course corrects to show the small ways in which Eda deals with her illness not just with medication but also understanding of it. Her need to stay calm, the ways she tries to center herself, all so the medication is more of a stabilizer and last resort. That is genuinely good.

Then... A point I'm torn on. In the episode itself, I do not mind the formation of Harpy Eda. The process of coming to not just deal with but accept your disability is big and hard and you can come out the other side feeling like a new person. One could even see the Harpy form like that and even the deals we make with our disability to let ourselves do more like in Eclipse Lake. I'll even retract old heat I gave this for implying your disability can be a superpower because it fits within the genres of fantasy. I will even admit part of this kindness comes from writing this myself and realizing that it's just more fun and exciting to let the disability have upsides to it rather than treat it as purely debilitating.

No, my bigger issue comes from the fact that it is the end of it as a disability. Eda is essentially cured besides some lip service and if they were going to go that route, they should have just said it. In the finale, she loses to the curse in a deeper way than we have EVER seen before... And then freed from it like it's just a snap of her fingers. Harpy Eda is literally just a super form, not her having to genuinely deal with the illness, especially as it just becomes the way she fights. I do approve of the idea of showing that you CAN get better from this stuff, some people do, but it makes me wish they'd just said that. Just admitted that her coming to accept it was the final step. Would that have been realistic? No but I've showcased how many times already how much this rep relies on dramatization? Give us the feel good ending of Eda having mastered it, explicitly, instead of just letting it be up in the air and used for cheap drama in the finale. That makes the whole thing feel almost exploitative because if I lose it like Eda lost it in the finale... I can't just turn that off. I get to be terrified and shaken and have that day firmly implanted into my mind for the rest of my life. For the show, it was shock value instead and I'm not okay with that.

Speaking of things I'm not okay with, let's talk about the other side of this coin: Hunter. Now remember that I was willing to give grace to some elements... Except now they're reinforced by a second character sometimes and that makes it a lot harder to shrug off. We'll get there when we get to Flapjack though.

No, where I actually want to start with for him isn't even that he has a disability, it's actually with Willow. She tries to make it out like being a late bloomer is the same as NEVER being able to do this. Like telling a paraplegic person you understand their pain because you had a cast once. I've had someone go "Yeah, it's hard for me to get out of bed too but I always manage it," while trying to motivate me to just power through anxiety that was LITERALLY CHOKING ME and I wanted to punch them in the face. And this is the start of your ROMANCE PLOT. The core thing that tells the audience that these two are going to get close and get together.

In one scene, it becomes SUPER clear that there is no one on this writing team that actually understands what the fuck it means to be disabled. The nice portion of the blog is over.

Okay, let's actually pull back. I will give Hunter this: In his early scenes, he genuinely comes across as someone who has adapted to his physical disability and the limitations of it. His staff is his aid device and he makes up for lack of magic with increased athleticism. He is by all means, the most dextrous person we see in the entire show and genuinely, the show never takes that away from him. It's also just really easy to forget because the show doesn't exactly give a lot of chances for it to shine, not while it's mostly shitting on him or having the trained soldier lose to others, if he even seems much more physically capable than those around him at all.

But hey, how about first that aid device! We do recognize Luz takes his crutch, right? Like his staff is what takes away his handicap versus the rest of the Isles. That helps him overcome the limitations of his physical disability and an entire episode has the main character steal it from him and blackmail him with it. He is mildly annoyed about this for the entire episode, almost like not having the way that helps him feel normal doesn't mean much to him. It'd be like if in Affearances, Eda didn't get mad at her mom for taking her elixir because her elixir is the equivalent to Hunter's staff. Gwyndolen is demonized for this action while we're supposed to be on Luz's side because Hunter is a bad man who will do bad things if allowed his staff back. That... That isn't okay to me.

Btw, this isn't even the only time this happens in the show. Belos asks Luz to call him Philip. She calls him Belos. The show is really all for just being entirely disrespectful to someone's identity and personhood so long as you are morally better than them. What the fuck?

For the rest of S2, there's a really, REALLY bad flaw with having Huntlow be his ship. EVERY single one of Willow's episodes to some extent features how being a late bloomer, having struggled/struggling with magic, makes her feel like an outcast. That despite the fact that really she just wasn't great at this skill, she gets a lot of dramatic weight to this. Hunter... Doesn't. His disability is almost entirely ignored to prioritize the fact that he's a Grimmwalker or his relationship with Belos. It is just not a part of his character despite the girl he is blushing at explicitly making it clear that this society ABSOLUTELY looks down on Hunter. That not having magic makes you be less than anyone else. Hell, we get more of this from EDA AND LILITH in the first episode of S2 than we ever get from Hunter. The prejudice they are treated with and their struggles to deal with it while Hunter is at best all subtext.

This admittedly starts getting into how this show fucking hates men and how they are almost all at some point a joke, villain or both in their time. So... Yeah, Hunter not being given respect for his disability while the women are is hardly surprising.

The big thing that shatters EVERYTHING is of course Flapjack's sacrifice. You remember how I had to kind of work around how to make Eda making someone else disabled okay? Well now we have a second time where a disabled character is 'cured' to some extent of their disability... By the suffering of someone close to them. This time with literal death.

One of the worst prejudices that disabled people, of any sort but especially mentally disabled/ill people, have to face is that we are burdens and menaces to society. That we are more prone to hurting people than regularly abled people. That there is a price to having us around that everyone would not have to pay otherwise. If there is one thing you CANNOT do with your disability allegory, it is to make the disability cost someone else their life, figuratively or literally, unless you REALLY plan to examine what the fuck that means. TOH does both, once with Flapjack and once with Lilith respectively.

In order to be 'normal', it literally costs Hunter the life of his best friend. In order to be saved from the extremes of her illness, Eda cripples her sister. What the fuck are you supposed to take away from that? And there is no way to square this with it just being a fantastical representation of something. It's not just making the consequences of disability more extreme or reflecting the shared burden that can sometimes be our existence and our need for support. Being cured should be joyous. Instead, it's melancholic, not for the grief of your existence inherently changing, Hunter is meant to purely celebrate that he now has magic, but because it came at extreme cost to other people.

In that one moment, paired with Lilith, I can't approve of TOH as disabled representation. There is no way for me to ever square it, just like how Luz using depression as an excuse to be the worst version of herself makes me not okay with her as nuerodivergent representation. Not when it doesn't explore this stuff and even tries to celebrate and say this is correct, since Luz is never criticized for her awful behavior during her angst arc and Hunter is made out to be better without his disability, no matter the cost.

I am fine if you don't want to show clean or nice representation of these things. Not all disabled people are nice. Not all nuerodivergent people are functional. There is a wide spectrum to our experiences but to take the worst elements of your representation and give them the most narrative weight is BAD. Even Eda suffers from this. Her taking care of herself is mostly in passing. Way more weight is given to Eda not being able to take care of herself. To how missing her medication by even an hour makes her a danger to everyone around her, or even susceptible to manipulation like when King uses her transforming 80% into the Owl Beast. Suddenly, the fact that she manages her condition like many disabled people do feels really overshadowed by the constant reminders, and literal showings, of the danger she poses to those she cares about most. The cost of allowing us to continue to participate in society, the damage we do to others, the harm that comes from a bad day from us, is so much harder to ignore when those are the elements that your work decides to focus on. It especially sucks because it hardly focuses on the pain and incapability of the condition, just the danger. It's all about what it will do to others and not the agony it inflicts on the person who has it.

TOH is bad with almost all of its themes and attempts to be progressive and this is no different. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I am going to assume that it's the same person who sent me essentially a variation of this ask like five times. If you are that worried about me responding, the Discord is where you will get a MUCH faster response, especially since I am kind of trying to pull back from TOH criticism. It has been genuinely kind of nice to talk about other things recently.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[bomberqueen17]

what is up froods

lol i keep forgetting to like. actually write updates in my personal journal. i'm using this tumblr too much like a tumblr.

i went down a rabbit hole the other night in that i just opened my own archives and went back to 2013 and then realized i started this in 2011. i didn't say a lot, back then i definitely was still using my LJ for Big Personal Updates and Tumblr was exclusively for snappy shitposts, and then I abandoned the LJ and only blogged in snappy shitposts for a while, and I did some vagueblogging that I genuinely have no idea what it was about, and that's fun.

But there's some. Boy there's some real fossils in there. God everything stays the same but everything happens so much.

I know I've backed up this blog but IDK how much you can make it make sense, offline. Anyway. That's how it goes. I'm not in any kind of existential panic about the site I'm just reacting to the zeigeist here, it made me think of old times.

I go back to the farm in a couple of weeks-- just for a couple of weeks, but the Season is Starting. My physical therapist keeps giving me more exercises. She's right, my core strength is wretched, but when I said I'd tried to do crunches now and then, tried to stay a tiny bit fit but-- she was like omg no you can't do crunches, with that hip cartilage as it is, so I felt a little better. So she's teaching me what I *can* do, and the important thing is that she's like you cannot do this more than every other day or three times a week, you cannot rush this kind of thing, and it's wonderful advice contrary to all the other advice I've ever had in my life which was like every moment you're not doing more work you're being a lazy shit. So, that's nice. I'll cut because nothing else here is going to be interesting.

I'm not the youngest person at physical therapy but there's a lot of old people there. I haven't been masking, I've been being lazy and just using xylitol nose spray before I go, and it's been fine, but I know that's just luck. (I see no one but Dude, who sees almost no one but me, so the consequences of fucking up would be minor.) with a trip to the farm coming up, I'm going to go back to masking, at least in the lead-up to the trip-- because last time I had COVID I had almost no symptoms, and nowadays apparently the rapid tests aren't super useful. The way I'm coping is, I know, a logical fallacy-- since COVID wasn't bad the one time I had it, I'm just telling myself I'm resistant naturally and it won't hurt me, and I know this is not the truth at all but it helps me cope-- but I cannot stand the thought of spreading it to someone who would be more hurt by it, so I have convinced myself not to fear catching it but to fear spreading it. I figure it's effectively the same and lets me not just be fucking terrified all the time.

I also discovered that a former employee of the farm who's out here going to college is interested in carpooling, and we've already got a tentative date for him to ride back with me on my way back from the farm at the end of March, and this has lightened my spirits a great deal. It's such a long drive and it feels like such a waste of gas, and he does have a car but it's not actually that safe to drive on the Thruway. (He swears up and down it's perfectly safe but just not at sustained speeds over 60. I was like omg kid do NOT, I will drive, my car is brand fkn new. He's taking the train home and will ride back with me.)

Let's see. Oh I don't think I've kept up with posting about the kitchen painting. It's down to the last tiny fiddly details, and what I've got to do is do a half-stencil in the corner above the door, and I did one half yesterday and will finish the rest today. I had to custom cut out a copy of part of the stencil to make it work, and it's sort of janky and I am going to have to hand-paint it with a lot of masking tape, but it's such a small area that like, why not, I can be that fussy. It's fine.

Once I finish that, which if I do part in the morning and part in the afternoon I can do today, then I can FINALLY CLEAN UP AND PUT AWAY all the painting detritus. I can't tell you how excited I am to do that.

I've also been doing fabric dyeing, finally. I collected several of the muslin garments I'd finished and meant to do something with, and got out my dyes. I did a batch of ice dye solely because I forgot which ones I'd intended to use for that; now I have a pair of slightly ill-fitting homemade leggings that look like a clown threw up on them, and a cheerful sweatshirt to match. i then used the runoff to dye the cream-colored canvas work smock-- I sort of tie-dyed it because I pasted up a little bit of two of the component colors and poured that on a couple areas that I then rubberbanded, because I wanted tie-dye but did not want any white areas left. So it's a blue/purple/red smock now, and the rainbow stitching I constructed it with was polyester so it's still rainbow, huzzah. Subtle and understated and also I can smear it with filth and maybe it will still look intentional.

[image description: a canvas work smock with big pockets, hanging to dry, mostly a mucky dark purple but with some brighter splotches of red and dark blue, and some bits of paler purple.]

[image description: assorted garments draped over drying racks in a sunporch, in blotchy shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, all kind of run together but not murky.]

And then I did another batch of ice dye, this time with the dyes I had bought that are supposed to work well for this because they split. That dress is still in the wash so I don't have pictures of how it turned out, but mostly it just looks splotchy green. LOL oh well. The point was, I made all these test garments in undyed fabric, but I don't have a lifestyle where I can wear a white dress, so now I have some non-white dresses I don't have to be precious about. Some of them I should now probably hem and like actually finish..........

I have one dress and one shirt left, and a pair of light-wash jeans I don't like wearing, and I'm thinking about trying like. Ombre or something. We'll see if I get around to that.

My sewing area is still a fuckin disaster and I don't want to think about it. But I'm cutting out a vest from scrap denim, I want a quilted abrasion-resistant washable work vest for farm work next week and I gotta get a move on. All I need now is to cut out the batting and get to it. So hopefully today.

I took photos, I might try writing up how-tos on the dyeing and on the repurposed denim stuff, but I also might not. If I was doing this again I would probably not bother with the ice, for the rainbow one. We'll see once the properly ice dyed dress comes out of this wash, I can hear the washer spinning but I'm trapped under Chita at the moment.

I missed this week's fic update because I'm progressing so slowly on both current active WIPs. I have a bunch written ahead in both, but each one has the back half of the current chapter just held up waiting for me to write them; I've overcome the structural decisions that delayed me, but I have to just sit and write them. And both of them are complicated scenes I've been waiting to write a long time, so I'm looking forward to writing them, and so like, paradoxically, can't make myself do it. Because once I've done it I'll have done it, see... anyway. Silly but there it is. I'll get through it once I decide I deserve that treat. I know! I know.

[xaviers-home-for-wayward-pokemon]

Hi there :) Is there a reason this blog died? is it harder to get shinies in scarvio? or just busy irl? no worries ofc! im truly just curious! i miss you guys! i miss the gen 7 era lol :'3

Hi there, Nonny. There is not an easy answer to this question, and unfortunately it involves breaking my biggest rule with this blog and steering away from pure positivity. I'm happy to share the story if you want to read on, though.

TW for family member death, therapy trauma, and friendship ending.

I always had a tradition of doing a big giveaway around the December holidays and then taking some time off for the new years. Generally I'd try to get back into giveaways no later than February since that's Mewtwos "birthday" and it would be a yearly tradition to give away versions of this blogs mascot.

In December 2019, my mom passed away.

There is no good time to lose your mom, but there is most definitely a worst time. Five days before Christmas, one year after the death of your father, two weeks after the birth of her one and only grandchild (following years of fertility issues between myself and both of my siblings), one month after her retirement, and one month before a massive family vacation that was meant as a Christmas gift she never opened ... Well that's pretty much the worst time. She was in near perfect health but her death was the result of a car accident, and she did not leave any form of will. I don't know if it's possible to explain how much work it is to deal with probate, burial, and associated lawsuits on top of mourning the death of one's own mother. Needless to say, it's a lot.

My sister lived in another state at the time and was busy with her newborn, and my brothers disabilities prevented him from contributing much to the situation, meaning the only one who was able to handle things was me.

Which unfortunately meant pokemon giveaways had to be put off for longer, and as expected, it's pretty hard to write pep talks in that state of mind.

For obvious reasons, I started going to therapy. While there I expressed interest in wanting to do giveaways again, and my therapist encouraged it. I even purchased a hackable switch with the intention of finding a way to hack the newer gen mons, but figured I could use the old action replay for the old gens until I got that figured out. A small handful of you may recall this is when I started streaming; in part, it was too reach a wider audience, and in part to encourage more engagement. Unfortunately, engagement in the giveaways only decreased, and that's on top of the hacking taking twice as long with the need to mass transfer between the 3DS and Switch.

During this time I actually quit my job, because being executor of my mother's estate became a full time focus and I was fortunate enough to have a supportive partner to encourage me. Not to mention, well, we all know what happened in 2020 to make working more difficult for everyone.

Before long, I realized that doing giveaways had become a chore. No longer was it work that brought joy to myself and others, it felt like an obligatory burden. It was no longer fair to put so much pressure on myself over something that was meant to be fun, and with everything else I was dealing with, it was time to be fair to myself.

However, I did not originally intend to abandon this blog indefinitely, and thought at least I would keep up the daily pep talks.

Now I want to be clear: I am not anti therapy. In fact I encourage anyone who can to seek professional help whenever the situation calls for it. I will not go into any further details besides this: I actually have some trauma regarding therapy. It makes seeking out and opening up to therapists very difficult, and it's something I've struggled with since childhood. So when the therapist I had (who I felt was working well) left the practice and I was assigned a new one, it was not a good mix. Especially when the new therapist wanted to focus on things I felt were irrelevant and/or non-issues.

One of the unforseen "advantages" to having barriers between yourself and professional help is that you get pretty good at helping yourself. The reason why I enjoyed writing this blogs pep talks is because they were often words I used to encourage myself, and it brought me joy seeing them encourage others. At this point in my journey, I had to focus exclusively on helping myself, and that carried the consequence of no longer being able to help others. After all, if I do not care for myself, then eventually, there will be nobody to care for anybody.

Another factor came into play at this time. Many of you noticed this blog changed names from Vales Home to Xaviers Home. At first I said this was because the new mod team shifted focus away from the original "lore" of the blog and that a focus on our mascot as opposed to one member of the mod team made more sense (keep in mind, when it started, the blog was equal parts giveaways and fanfiction/RP). While this is true, it is only part of the truth. The fact of the matter is, Vale and I had a falling out. Vale was legitimately one of my dearest, closest friends who I felt I could turn to for anything, and the decision to end the friendship was one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make. While I do not regret the decision, it does make looking back on this blog a little bittersweet.

At the end of the day, there is not one reason why this blog died. My own personal turmoil, trauma, Nintendo's decisions, and a general shift in the community combined to make running this blog a burden too great for me to bear. While I have no intention to start it up again, I also cannot bring myself to delete the blog. The happy memories and positivity it generated during its time is worthy of preseveing, in my opinion.

I also do not want you to think my life has been pure turmoil over the past five years. On the contrary, I think I am in a better place now than I was in 2019. I went back to school and started a new career. I now work in a hospital helping people in real life instead of online. I overcame a lifelong phobia of driving and bought a car. I rediscovered a love for crafting, and have taken up new hobbies in driving to craft fairs, camping, and nature photography. I ended 2019 miserable working a dead-end sales job and mourning the death of my mother. I am ending 2024 with a thriving career, a joyous hobby, and a big group of supportive friends both old and new.

While I am not active on this blog, my main is still very much alive and you're welcome to follow me if you don't mind largely video game shit posting interspersed with occasional writing or photography. Also, even though the discord server associated with this blog is inactive, I am still on and using discord should you ever wish to chat.

I am beyond glad if this blog ever sparked joy for you. If you read all of this, thank you for staying by my side. If you didn't, that's okay too.

And remember: Xavier loves you. ♥️

-Typhon ( @typhonserpent )

[kitkat-the-muffin]

Late screenshot dump/review for Cloutchase Vol 4!

Here are the previous three installments: [1][2][3]

Hey everybody! It's been a while, about 7 months since I've last been remotely active in this fanbase, but this past weekend I played Vol 4 with my friends and I am here to share my favorite screenshots! I will of course start this post off with some spoiler-free teasers to encourage others to play the game themselves!

And now it's time for the rambles!

This session was quite unique since I had two friends with me this time!

"Homestuck is too problematic lets to Danganronpa" oh I just know you guys put that in on purpose. I only ever saw the Danganronpa anime once but my friend immediately knew who they were going to dress up as and she was right haha

Honestly I love how Snapchat has a permanent dog filter on. My other friend who joined us today gave him the most perfect voice that I can barely attempt to describe. I called it "Irish-Canadian stoner" if that helps you imagine it

Backrooms reference *airhorns*!!!! It was kinda funny when TikTok just abandons the player in favor of egg theft, but what I think desperately needs to be talked about is the alleged missing lion man. Who is he? Where did he go? I have to know!

I spent a good 5 minutes rambling about Musical.ly's character design before I realized they're TikTok pre-transition. They look so fashionable tho! Can I get the raw files of these photos?

YOOOO VINE GETS NEW SPRITES!!!! I like how he's behind the times because he's been dead for a while haha

This is the best possible timeline I think

Tumblr looks FANTASTIC heck yeah

What did they mean by this?

Kinda love how Threads is a character and also kinda not a character. Design is peak tho

Get Gatsby'd! If I had a nickel for every time I was Gatsby'd this year I'd have two nickels-

Congrats on the gender! Genuinely though why did Twitter start looking infinitely more attractive to me after coming out as transfem? Like... she's so pretty now... but also exactly the same? Gender is a construct but holy cheese

I was literally trying to read the option choices and she cut me off ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff anyway hi Reddit. My friend had a surprisingly good Reddit voice (I'd describe it as incel meets gamer but less embarrassing somehow)

Old man Facebook! My friend had the WORST voice for Facebook... Imagine the creepiest old man asmr of your life

Kinda interesting that the Magical Girl sequence is part of the Bad Ending. My friends and I agreed that it was more of a Neutral End than a bad one. She looks great tho, I love the art in Instagram's route

Caught in 4k! This frame only appears for a split second haha

I really like how they characterized the creepy tracking of meta software this way. Instagram looks pleasant on the outside but underneath that top layer is a completely fake personality that covers another layer of invasive curiosity that covers another layer of genuine artistic enjoyment. That's so interesting! Anyway my friends and I started theorizing what the multicolored strings mean and we're stumped on the white bit between Amino and Kik-

I love Insta's photos, I like how they're physical polaroids. The logo on her bag is also the old Instagram logo! I need to see that full sized photo of Tumblr and Twitter tho-

Honestly didn't expect this ending but it's cute and I love it! Genuinely we should all be encouraged to post about our favorite simple pleasures rather than trying to appeal to the masses

Anyway before calling it a night we looked at some of the new bonus content (some of which is just stuff from the tumblr blog lol) and dang is Wikipedia so pretty in this screenshot

Actually my friend saw this next photo and said "he's just like me fr why don't I have that?" Honestly I can't wait for the Wikipedia route hahah

ANYWAY GET GATSBY'D FOR A THIRD TIME-

Or a second time if you aren't a Gravity Falls fan lol

Anyway, this volume was a lot of fun and I greatly enjoyed playing it! I like how TikTok's route had multiple activity choices and endings. It's kind of reminiscent of how much time you can accidentally waste on TikTok haha

Instagram's route being based on trying to maintain a level of perfection was interesting, as well as the Great Gatsby motifs. I laughed out loud when Waltz of the Flowers played because I'm hyperfixating on Princess Tutu rn and my friend is obsessed with Tchaikovsky so that was fun

Here's to the next volume! I can't wait to play it!

[sinister-system6]

Intro post!

This is now a blog for my ENTIRE system!

(image is to represent us, all pics taken from Pinterest)

Hi, if you don't know us, our body's name is Hunter, we usually introduce ourselves as a trans woman, but we do have some male alters.

I, the one writing this, am called Lillian, I am the host and also a persecutor which is an interesting combination to have. In this post, I will introduce the alters in my system and also let them speak for themselves if they wish to.

To start, there's Alex

Alex is a butch sapphic muscle mommy, she is blonde and has a side shaved hair with a ponytail. She is sad most of the time and longs for someone to love. She is a huge dork and loves love. She also used to be a host, but was demoted once I showed up. Sorry not sorry. She is also a really good musician and producer.

There'a Alisson, who's a femboy. He is our most sexual alter and usually fronts in sexual moments because (and this is how he describes himself) he is a cockdrunk slut. He is a trauma holder to an event that happend especifically to him.

There's Allister, who says he's a demon from the depths of hell. He is funny and an ageslider from 16 to 21, and stole his name from the Pokemon SwSh ghost-type gym leader. The first time he showed up, Alex was trying to sleep and he kept trying to talk to everyone in the headspace. He also has really strong echolalia.

Ash is our protector, our caretaker. He is currently questioning his entire existance because he believed to be AroAce, but started to have bisexual thoughts and impulses. He sees himself as an eboy sadboy kinda person, but is actually the (metally) oldest alter in here. He is one of the 3 alters who has full access to past memories.

Violet is an 8 year old girl who is such a cutiepie. She loves legos and is deeply anxious and depressed. She doesn't like to front that much but anyone who might be fronting is able to feel her feelings too. She likes to draw and paint, and she is one of the 3 alters who has full access to past memories

Ryan is a fictive, an introject based off of Ryan Wilder NOT from Batwoman, but from her evil version Red Death from The Flash CW. She doesn't front much nor does she talk in the headspace, so we don't know much about her.

Evelyn/Eva is an alter who is permanetly stuck in a PMT state. She cries a lot and is deeply emotional. She has a sever fear of abandonment and trust issues due to our ex girlfriend. She showed up during a mental breakdown we had during a PMT crisis, alongside with Ryan.

Monika is a sweetheart and NOT a fictive from DDLC. She loves life and the world and everyone. She is the textbook definition of a People-Pleaser (she told me not to write this but agreed it's true).

Merida is a "version" of Violet who is stuck at 13 years old. She is an angsty preteen. This is all you really need to know about her.

Anna is a 22 year old alter, she got her name from Dead By Daylight's Huntress, and acts like a persecutor while still keeping her cool. She is a smoker.

Natasha is an E-Girl who is, just like Evelyn, a crybaby. She gets emotional over the smallest things but has a deep love for everyone on Earth.

Alana is one of the first alters in our system, but due to personal issues among the system and our ex girlfriend, she was stuck in a limbo. She is mad at everyone in our system for forcing her to not front just to make our ex comfortable. She never liked our ex.

Edwin is a 12 year old nonbinary boycoded alter. He appeared a few days ago, but only fronted today. He thinks fronting is fun and that our body's face is pretty. He is funny and kind and enjoys puns.

Harriet is the newest alter in the system. She literally just appeared today (september 11th 2024). She describes herself as "a bimbo version of the Green Goblin"

Kara is a new alter who was formed today (September 12th 2024). She has a dark skin color (darker than the rest of us), and is currently on her way to replace Lillian as the host. She is happy and excited about life, but also one bad thought away from breaking down and crying.

Antonia is an alter made after Violet had a mental breakdown. She was made to not feel Violet's pain and lonliness. She is 25 years old, looks like arrowverse's Kate Kane and chose her name because of MCU's Taskmaster. She is a smoker.

Olivia is a new protector who split from Alex after a mental breakdown concerning our ex. She is calm usually, but can get really anxious FAST. She also has all of Alex's feelings for our ex so that's not great.

There's also Lillian, she is currently losing her status as host to Kara. She is a narcissist sociopath (as she herself claims), enjoys bad stuff such as gore and other evil nasty things. She is a smoker.

Eleanor is an alter who split after a dissociative and depressive episode triggered at our ex's house. We don't know much about her but the first time she fronted, she cleaned our entire room (at least up until our back started to hurt). She is a smoker.

Vanessa is one of the oldest alters (in terms of when she was created) in the system. She is a computer nerd and geek. She loves stuff like Cameras, Mechatronics (with Arduino), cosplay, videogames... She's a dork and we all love her.

[coolcattime]

Now I'm starting to see actual teaser trailers for it (and it comes out in like a week), I've started to look at all the trailers for the Until Dawn remaster. And general ramble for a long ass time about my thoughts.

Spoilers below the cut for the game because well, it's a remaster and I'm comparing to the original.

It looks like there is at least one new scene with Beth (Features Trailer shows her outside putting trash out and interacting with a deer), maybe this'll be a new introduction to the Don't Move minigame? But it's definitely new.

Characters now jog rather than walk slightly faster when holding the go faster button (comparsion trailer), this is good though I will miss the unintended comedy of the characters only slightly hustling towards their screaming friends.

Josh and Chris have moved in the Prologue (Comparsion Trailer), as they're no longer passed out by the bar. I think they might be on the sofas in the background now - though I that's just a guess from how that's area is lit up now rather than being dark and I believe inaccessible in the original. Maybe Chris is awake and in on the prank on Hannah now as in the original script of the game? Or maybe the ktichen scene being compared is earlier and linked with the new Beth deer scene?

Again, another new scene with Beth (Comparsion Trailer) with her at a shack being pressumably torched by Flamethrower Man. I don't remember anything like this in the original Prologue, and the shack itself isn't something I recognise either. So possibly the chase after Hannah in the Prologue will have more options.

Gameplay trailer confirms that drunk Josh is on the sofas in the background, carried there by Hannah and Beth (that's what I get for watching these backwards). Given that Beth is wearing her coat and Hannah is wearing a jumper rather than her blouse I'd say this is after the new deer scene before the original's game prologue begins. No sign of Chris though, so maybe he has been put into the prank scene. Obviously they might just move him second but there doesn't seem to be room for another person in the area.

Edit: I've been told in the comment that Chris can be seen on a second sofa in a different trailer so he's definitely still passed out drunk.

I can't tell what this is in the gameplay trailer. It's intercut with Mike shooting a sanatorium door open and I think it's still Mike but I can't tell who the guy is. Maybe a screwcrow jumpstare set up by Josh in the abandoned hotel? Or possibly a model replacement since they do seem to be trying to keep the twist secret in all these trailers.

An article on the Play Station blog confirms that all the totem locations have moved and that there is a new set called "Hunger". And also that there will be an option for either the original "Don't Move" challenge or a "Stay Calm" challenge (pressumably as people playing on PC might not have a controller with a gyro like a play station controller).

The new totems interest me, as well as the placement changes because, and I'm just saying this as someone who is hyperfixated over the Supermassive games, the future predicting collectables are never very good. Like of the thirty totems in the original Until Dawn, I would argue that only six of them really give aid (these are Guidance 2, 3, 4, & 6 and Fortune 2, & 4). While most show only the outcome rather than what leads to it and frankly Guidance 5 can hinder because giving the flare gun to Matt only helps if it doesn't fire. I know it's so you can avoid his possible death, but he fires it if he agreed with Emily about the fire tower, meaning the people most likely to help Emily and need the gun as him later won't have it in the first place.

The trend of the future predicting images showing the result rather than the cause kinda continues throughout all Supermassive games so I'm not sure how excited I am for a new branch though it does at least feel promising that new scenes will be added.

I am curious to see where all the totems are moved to, since pressumably the Death totems will still need to be collected by the same characters.

I doubt it, but I have half a hope that they have replaced some of the death/loss totems with different ones. At the very least I'd like one of the three different lodge fire totems replaced, especially as two of them are Mike's.

I am still hopefully for new scenes that we haven't seen yet. Most of the footage is such related to the first half of the game or just anything that hides the supernatural element of the story and, given how I'm sure it's easier to add scenes to the end rather than the beginning, I wouldn't be suprised in a majority of the new scenes are towards the latter half of the game.

The article that I got the info about above said that they have intentionally restructed the Prologue to both explore the Washingtons as a family and to add context to the prank. I think this is honestly so good because, well, Beth was always barely a character and I never really liked Hannah - I felt bad for her don't get me wrong, but the prank hinged on her wanting to sleep with someone else's boyfriend. It always made me see her as kind of a crappy friend and while she didn't deserve to die, I didn't feel as bad as I was probably meant to for her. Adding additional content to make her and Beth like people I am definitely looking forward to.

[david-talks-sw]

any new Star Wars essays in the making, or are you moving on?

I don't know, honestly.

Part of it is "life gets in the way," I'm working a lot and so whatever time I have left is spent just messing around or meeting with my loved ones.

I've got a bunch of stuff in my drafts. I don't mind sharing it here, most recent to oldest:

Sort of a joke post of me pointing out how stressful being George Lucas' producer must've been, like this guy really DIDN'T WANT to write his fucking scripts, did he? Poor Rick McCallum. Abandoned because who gives a crap.

'Ask' reply on how EU-fueled fandom perception of the Jedi was flipped by the prequels.

'Ask' reply about the themes in Ahsoka and why the show doesn't know what it's about. Problem is, I go about it starting from the basics, so nobody's gonna sit through reading a tematic breakdown of the first Pirates of the Carribean movie, The Batman and the original six Star Wars films before I even get to the show at hand.

"Part II" post about what Ahsoka, Rebels and TCW get right about lightsaber duels, which the Prequels never did.

Quote collection & analysis on just how complex the Prequels were meant to be (in the late 80s, Lucas intimated that the Sequels were the story that was supposed to have gray morality, not the Prequels)

Quote collection on how the themes and principles of Star Wars align with Lucas' own opinions and philosophies.

Quote collection on Lucas defining Anakin's flaws.

Quote collection on Lucas talking about the fact that we need to be more proactive, which aligns with what Lumi points out sometimes about the Jedi: they should've been more politically engaged because we all should be.

Why I approach Lucas as "word of god".

Personal life/joke-y post dating from the time of the WGA strike about how Jack Black's School of Rock lyrics "In his heart he knew, the artist must be true, but the legend of the rent was way past due!" applied to me. Abandoned because I didn't wanna bum everyone out.

Correcting the notion that Dark Times-era Jedi such as Kanan or Ezra or Ahsoka represent what Jedi were supposed to be.

A comprehensive end-all outlook on how Anakin's flaws all tie together. I've written this one twice and I don't know how to differentiate it from my other posts.

A secret "Part 3" to my TLJ Luke post, in which I point out that RJ's being too "indie", while being a strong point for a big chunk of the film, hampers the film's ability to make Luke feel as badass as he does on paper. I want to illustrate a storyboard for this one, but that takes time.

The evolution of Star Wars' approach to transmedia.

Debunking Star Wars myths: a (very) comprehensive outlook on children in the Jedi Order.

Problem is that only like 2/3rds of these are fully-written... and I still need to find the relevant clips, turn them into GIFs, etc etc.

There's many other interesting Asks in my inbox btw. But I'm already behind on all these, so I haven't begun to touch them.

Then there's the drawings.

I wanna draw a comic of the meeting between Yoda and Dooku in Dark Rendezvous. I wanna finish the comic fight between Maul and Ben. I wanna draw Mace, Shaak Ti, I've got a Luminara fan-art that was supposed to be ready for Jedi June 2022 and an Anakin drawing that looks weird. No time, nor am I skilled enough. (Like, I trace, that's what I do, it's not a secret I've said so before... but it takes me a long while to do so. I'm not fast at drawing, let alone coloring.) I could commission some of these, but there are obvious obstacles there.

There's fun tidbits I've discovered here and there but nobody will care about them and I usually try to not drown my blog with bs posts.

Then there's the bigger problem.

All the things I've listed above? I'm not 100% motivated to finish. But a lot of the new stuff I wanna write about is hella negative.

I had a lot of stuff I wanted to say about Ahsoka. But it wasn't all good. It was mostly me bitching, be it about the show or the fandom's reactions to it.

I've also got more stuff to say about Filoni's take on Star Wars, but I've talked about why it's inaccurate like 8 times already, and I don't actually dislike the guy, like there's plenty of things he knows and does that I think are awesome but also people won't stop putting him and his takes on a pedestal and--

oh shit, there's Acolyte too, I forgot about that, gray morality galore, here we come. But here too, like... I've talked a couple of times about why this entire gray morality thing is actually just the gen X-ers trying to make the prequels "cool" and "complex". but I've never explored properly, with quotes and research and shit. but i've talked about it so many times that at this point it'd end up like the Filoni rants, redundant. "we get it already." as if this show didn't have haters lined round the block for absolutely sexist reasons.

Don't get me started on the mountain of lies and/or idiocy that is the YouTuber Star Wars Theory.

And yet he said one thing a few months ago which struck a chord within me and it's the fact that Andor is awesome, excels on all levels because it's treated seriously, like a proper show, not a Disney Plus one... why wasn't Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why wasn't Book of Boba Fett? And I've already established multiple times that I enjoyed Kenobi (yes, including the Reva parts) and I've established that I know what they were going for in Fett and I've established that this is mainly a "Disney Plus didn't know how to structure a fucking show pre-WGA strike" issue more than anything else... but when I think about how these could've been treated instead? When I look at the characterizations and emotional stakes of like Fargo Season 5? It's infuriating. Because it's not bad (talking about Kenobi, BOBF is awful)... but it could've been EXCELLENT and instead it was just "okay" to "good".

I just miss live action lightsaber duels, man. Like, good ones.

and i dunno. maybe I should just let it rip on all this. "go off, king!"

but I think there's so much negativity re: Star Wars that adding my thoughts on these subjects, no matter how structured and reason, will just blend into a wave of needless, un-constructive hate.

maybe I should finish the writings in the drafts and just post them with no gifs, maybe just still images?

but doing any of that feels like a step back.

So that's where I'm at right now.

[patbworship]

Mod Introduction #1 (Welcome to the Blog! Narf!)

Hellooooooooo Tumblr!!! If you are seeing this, you have stumbled across the newest Pinky and The Brain exclusive blog (as hinted by the title of course!) that will be dedicated to celebrating the legacy, brilliance, and gayness of the PaTB franchise! I am Mod Pinky (my other half will be making an intro very soon) and many of you may know me from my main blog @theonethatyaks93 where I post Animaniacs and PaTB content for a living. I am really glad to share this fun new project with my bestest partner and we are both excited to be sharing our love for the mice with all of you! Now I am aware that the fandom is not as active as it once was, and many blogs like this one have been abandoned. Still, we are excited to be keeping the fandom alive and we are looking forward to helping cement this show into public conscious for a while longer. But enough about that; we'll be making another post to describe the blog in more depth at a later time. Let's get to the fun, actual introduction part of the post:

Name: Please call me Pinky or Mod Pinky if you'd like

Pronouns: She/They

Basic Interests: Writing, Singing, Acting, Animation, Drawing,

Dream Job(s): Voice Actor, Author, Writer on a PaTB Reboot

OTP: Brinky

My History in the Fandom: Surprisingly, I've been involved in the Animaniacs fandom since 2020 and the PaTB fandom since 2021. I got into the show thanks to the trailer for the Animaniacs reboot and I instantly fell in love. I was actually more into the Warner Siblings when I first watched the original series and I spend the first months in the fandom obsessing over them. However in 2021, I got really, REALLY into Pinky and The Brain. I believe it was because I saw people talking about them everywhere. And I started shipping Brinky as well. The mice just appealed to me specifically, and as I was going through the worst time in my life, they were there to help me out. Since then, nearly three years later, I've become an expert in all things PaTB. Pinky and The Brain has actually gotten me interested in other things shockingly, including neurological science and even rodent care, believe it or not. These mice have a death grip on my life and I am looking forward to growing my love for the series even more.

Favorite Episodes of PaTB (All episodes that I've seen so far) (In no particular order):

A Pinky and The Brain Christmas

This Old Mouse

A Pinky and The Brain Halloween

Broadway Malady

Brinky

Brain's Way

Talladega Mice

Narf Over Troubled Water

Of Mouse and Man

That Smarts

Megalomaniacs Anonymous

Snowball

Welcome to the Jungle

Future Brain

How The Brain Thieved Christmas

Groundmouse Day

Pinky Suavo (Yeessssss)

Plight of Hand

Brainie the Poo

Brain's Night Off

Happy Narfday

Mouse Madness

Royal Flush

Mouse Congeniality

How To: Brain Takes Over the World

Spell-Bound

Yes, Always

Brain Meets Brawn

Bubba Bo Bob Brain

Inherit the Wheeze

Where Rodents Dare

Pinky POV

Favorite Moments from PaTB: You guys are going to have to wait for the blog. I wanna make posts about them and talk about why I love them so much. But one of my favorite moments, of course, is the ending of the Christmas episode because it makes me sob every time I watch it

Most Underrated Episodes (Again, in no particular order):

Brain's Song

Pinky's Dream House

Anything from the Animaniacs Reboot

Melancholy Brain

The Pinky and The Brain Reunion Special

But That's Not All Folks!

Dangerous Brains

Beach Blanket Brain

Pinky at the Bat

You Said a Mouseful

Brain Drained

Hoop Schemes

Napoleon Brainaparte

Battle for the Planet

Win Big

When Mice Ruled the Earth

Favorite Songs:

Just Say Narf!

Brainstem

Pinky's Memories

Cheese Roll Call

The Really Great Dictator

A Meticulous Analysis of History

I Ate a Rock

Pinky's Dream House (Song)

Brain Doggie Mambo

International Mouse of Mystery (For the vocal performance alone)

Most Interesting Opinions on the Show:

I really like Snowball. He's my favorite side character from any iteration

Julia (from the reboot) is AMAZING in her second and third appearances. Not in her first

I prefer the fan versions of Billie to her canon character

I do not like Phar Fignewton very much. She isn't a very interesting character

I think Pinky and The Brain thrived in the late 90's while Animaniacs faltered a bit. Seasons 3-5 of Animaniacs had some good episodes but quite a few duds while PaTB had an incredible third and fourth season

To me Brinky is canonized in the reboot. Not in the traditional sense but it's pretty obvious

The reboot PaTB episodes are really good

I am not a big fan of the episode Brainania. It's not bad but I find it a bit slow in the pacing department

Mousechurian Candidate (from the reboot) is the worst episode of PaTB ever made

Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain is not as bad as people think and there are some good jokes. But it is nowhere near the quality of the rest of the franchise

Pinky is the best character ever created (not biased)

My favorite episodes of the show are usually the ones that focus more on character dynamics and emotion

The animation of the show is very inconsistent. My favorite studios are TMS and Rough Draft since I think they capture how they characters look the best. Wang could be pretty good too but in other episodes they made the mice look strange. Akom did some weird lighting techniques but they did great on the episode Snowball, and the less said about Startoons the better.

I like Pinky and Brain's reboot designs a lot. And I think there are some improvements (i.e. Brain's more expressive face, the details in the designs, Pinky's more angular body, Pinky's tail, their cute little fangs). But I like them in the original series for the softer edges and more classic feel

What am I Going to Do on this Blog: One of my biggest ideas (along with getting to share my love of the mice with everyone and my partner-in-crime) is maybe to do a weekly thing, where I analyze an episode or moment from the show. I also want to review fanfictions and post random funny mouse things. Maybe I can show you guys the comics I have or my ever-growing merchandise collection. I will be opening the ask-box to suggestions at some point so if you want me or my partner to look at a specific moment, feel free to ask. I might even make some Tumblr-exclusive fanfics to post on here too. This is mainly just a fun place for us to express our love for Pinky and The Brain so it might seem random at times. But I can assure you all that I want to do some fun stuff to build up excitement. These are all things I wanted to do on my main blog but I think it will be better to do it here.

Once again, I would like to say that I am really excited for all that we have planned! This is a project I have been secretly wanting to do for a long time, and now I have someone to do it with. My Brain is perfect and I know that we're going to do so many amazing things with this blog! She's the greatest. Stay tuned for another intro coming soon and be prepared for more regular posts to come out in the following days.

The Revolution for Gay Mice Supremacy begins!

Mod Pinky over and out! Narf!

(this is not an elaborate plan to take over the world I promise you)

[jennilah]

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰

[ask-andante]

Hi, I've decided to officially end this blog.

It took a lot of time thinking about it (tbh i was even thinking about it before the anon) and discussion with close friends and I think I am done.

This blog was used to help me get through various parts of my life, and it can no longer serve that purpose. It's done its job wonderfully and helped me cope and even make a friend circle after isolating myself for a few years. I never thought I'd ever have an actual friend group, but it's something that was made possible VIA this blog.

It hurts a lot to end it, I won't lie, I'm like actually mourning it rn but I've started to develop a sort of resentment towards the blog and plot askblogs due to Mental Illness and I think I just cannot keep holding onto this blog anymore. So, I decided it's best to let it go before I hate it. I doubt I'll come back to finishing it after posting the plot outline, seeing as it's all out in the open, but you never know.

The doc contains the outline with a header to jump to where this blog left off. I got pretty far in so I feel extra down about tossing in the towel here, but that's just how it is. I've tried many ways to salvage my motivation, lowering art quality being the main one as art is my job now and it's no longer the escape it used to be, but I don't think the workload itself is the issue.

If I move onto future projects, you will likely see me post them on @aibouart , so feel free to check the art blog out and follow if you'd like. I am not abandoning the characters here, I will continue to draw them likely and RP them and whatnot. You can send asks OOC anytime, just know I may not be very active~

Anyways, here's the plot outline. Some things are not included in it despite having been planned because they were either up in the air on their specifics, or were late additions not added in yet (nast stops appearing in the outline some ways into it as they were a new addition to help give Andan another person to have a better dynamic with. They were planned to become friends < 3 )

Thank you for reading and for your patience, as well as everyone's continued support over the years. This blog was great as a form of expression and art, and great to get me socialising. I discovered many things about myself over the course of being here on Tumblr and this blog was one of the starting points~

If you'd like some minor additional content, you can go and read over old memes: @andanteooc

Or the related blog: @andanterelated

The related blog consists of memes I've reblogged tagging relevant characters.

You can feel free to send me asks to talk about the plot outline or anything else. I won't post any spoilers until tomorrow, or I'll just tag them "andante spoilers///" if you were interested in the doc to read at a later date.

Please note it is missing quite a few details as I used to log the combat or speech sections separately before actually putting them in the doc (the og was pasted from a tumblr page). I can answer asks about things that weren't addressed because of its nature, but will not repeat myself if it's been asked haha.

Thank you again. I initially started this blog with a goal in mind and succeeded in it years ago, so I think I can be happy that it went above my original goals.

[echoweaver]

New Year's Resolutions 2024

Thanks to @nocturnalazure for tagging me!

Also, anyone else I might've missed. 😢 I don't know if there's a way to distinguish being tagged on a post vs on a comment in tumblr, but it would be helpful when I know I was tagged a bit ago, but I don't remember by whom.

What's your resolution for your simblr?

OK, I guess I have some categories of goals.

Modding resolution: Release the Warriorcats Mod.

This mod is really close to done, but I'm in animation muck. I both hate seeing animations look bad AND I'm not an animator. For training interactions, I need multi-sim animations where one sim observes while the other acts, and when I tried to do this, I realized that I have a lot to learn before I can make this do what I want. I need one more good run in a geeky minset, and this thing will be read to at least release as beta.

This thing is bottlenecking other smaller mod ideas. I'm proud of it, and I want to finish it. But the turn of the year has been really bad for high-effort hobby energy.

For those who have sent me asks about this mod, I am going to say something that you should absolutely not apply any other modder, including me, for anything else. Bugging me about this (in a nice way!) is probably the best way to get it finished. Hearing from folks who use my pets mods makes my heart sing. Knowing that someone cares is the best source of positive energy I have.

It's a new year, and some very high-stress stuff in my personal life has improved. I know can do this in 2024.

In my points of low mood, I have wondered if there's even any point to finishing something this high-effort for a game this old. But, like Minecraft, TS3 never seems to die. 2022-3 was actually a modding renaissance. I have built some interest in TS4 at the end of this year, but it hasn't made me even a little bit interested in abandoning TS3. So I'm going to do my best to set that demotivating nonsense aside.

Gaming resolution: Finish the Samples.

I can't believe I actually wrote that, but it could happen in 2024. Generation 8 is starting in gameplay, and in a 10-generation legacy, this is the last "complete" generation.

I will never do another 10-generation anything. There are two many different and interesting

Blogging resolution: Catch the Wonderlands up to the present.

I stopped playing halfway through Gen 3. I originally started posting this challenge on tumblr during Gen 2 when I created this simblr some horrifying number of years ago. Gen 1 was all on Wordpress and is new to the simblr. I've been reluctant to play forward on the challenge until I can bring the simblr with it.

2. What do you want from the sims franchise?

Haha. That's a complicated question. I think I may always be a TS3 player at my core. I send retroactive apologies to every TS2 players I looked askance at ten+ years ago. With that in mind, I can't reasonably expect much of anything from EA on my core hobby.

My pie-in-the-sky dream would be a 64-bit update for TS3 on Windows. That's not completely impossible, but it doesn't look likely to happen.

I'm keeping an eye on Project Rene. EA has given a good sense that they learned from the player response to TS3 & 4, and 5 could be a good synthesis. OTOH, the PRIMARY ask I have from them is 100% offline play, and I don't have a lot of hope. Though EA made the commitment to offline play for TS4, they've been clawing it back by inches over the years, and they even quietly made it impossible to install fresly-downloaded TS3 store content on 1.67. I'm fighting hard to keep my TS3 game at 1.67 because I want to be able to play on airplanes and in places I simply cannot log in. I don't give a !@#$ whether EA can validate my license. They're making enough money. They can stuff it in their butts. So, with that said, I am just assuming that TS3 1.67 is going to be the core of my fandom for the forseeable future, but my mind isn't closed. If TS5 is otherwise awesome, I can branch out.

My biggest hope for the franchise is from the fandom -- that the TS3 modding renaissance will continue. We keep renewing this old game, and as it continues to be renewed, there continue to be amazing fun new ways to play it. Thank you folks so much.

3. Any other new year's resolution?

Getting my Hobbit fanedit accepted by the Fanedit Academy at fanedit.org.

Heh. So, I have a very long drama story about my fanediting hobby. I flamed off the fanedit.org community when I attempted to submit my first edit years ago (The Hobbit, which should surprise exactly nobody who has looked at fanedits). I was floored when, in 2023, I was contacted by the head of that site to apologize for that situation and ask me to resubmit. It appears that my treatment by the reviewers prompted him to clean house and build a more welcoming community. Wow.

So, now my very first edit is under review by the "Faneditors Academy," which is the primary way to reach new viewers and gain feedback in this hobby. The site leader is involved in my review, but one of the reviewers is one of guys who treated me badly the first time, and he's complex to work with -- there's an undercurrent of him trying to justify rejecting me without a review the first time. I am determined to see this review through to the end. I am very proud of this edit. Also, the feedback is definitely leading me to take it the next level.

But I'll be honest -- working through the criticism and revisions is one reason I haven't touched the Warriorcats mod in months. I need to clear my mind and my plate to really focus on addressing feedback, and the criticism level makes that draining.

[Sharing from personal life -- another reason my modding dropped off is that this winter my trans wife came out to my socially conservative parents. We are not disowned, but it's been complicated and emotionally draining. Lighthearted play with stream-of-consciousness commentary is about as deep as I've been able to go for months.]

[threewaysdivided]

Hey ! i'm a longtime follower of your blog and I've read a lot of your YJ analysis and why the latter seasons totally flopped. I haven't seen you comment on Young Justice Phantoms, although I guess your opinion remains the same. However I'd love to read it one day.

PS : I do think Greg Weisman is a decent writer, but not that good at characterization and desperatly needs editors and not enablers *sigh*

Hey nonnie!

Glad you’ve found my YJ writing critiques interesting. 

The reason why I haven’t commented on Young Justice: Phantoms (or the final Targets comic) is that I haven’t watched it, haven’t read a synopsis and have no plans to ever do so.  My interest in the series went pretty cold as far back as Invasion but at the time I was willing to give the showrunners good faith on their claims that they had a plan to bring things together and that the problems were mostly production issues.  However, after how bad Outsiders was (and having seen similar awfulness from Greg Weisman in other franchises) I don’t have any good faith or trust left to give them.

I talked at length about how Outsiders left the show with no compelling narrative as part of this big Invasion breakdown (grumpier TL:DR version here), but here are the most relevant sections:

In terms of the Central Conflict, the Light are proved utterly correct: by Outsiders the Original Team are callous, hollow husks of their former selves, who have replicated a worse version of the same status quo the Team originally formed in response to. Dick, Kaldur and M’gann’s Anti-Light are a new upper echelon of older heroes who keep even more secrets from the next generations, who exclude the new generations far more strongly from knowing their plans, who give them even less reason to trust or communicate with them, and who do so for less just, less honest and less narratively justified reasons than their own mentors’ understandable (if condescending) desire to shield the proteges from the parts of the Life they may not yet have been equipped to face. Not only that but their constant lying with the intent to control others, and refusal to hold themselves accountable for those actions goes directly against both the League’s stated heroic ideals of “Truth, Liberty and Justice” and Red Tornado’s conclusion that caring is “the human thing to do”. By the end of Outsiders, even the existence of the Team itself is undone; decommissioned into the exact kind of safe training space that the Season 1 characters were desperate for it never to be. […] With Outsiders, any actual narrative set by Young Justice Season 1 is over. By their own standards the Team have lost, and lost entirely.

The meta-narrative of Young Justice Animated is that of a show that started with a promising initial season and strong sense of narrative identity, only to discard every part of that identity.  With Invasion the show discarded its original characterisations, themes and ideologies; replacing them with contradictory and often antithetical ones.  Outsiders would then shed even the surface trappings of its aesthetic (in favour of the more generic “modern DC” art-style) and mission-based narrative structure.  There is nothing left, save for some superficial proper nouns and call-back references: the textbook definition of an In Name Only Sequel.

I didn’t bother with Phantoms (and am frankly a little artistically insulted by its existence) because I knew it was doomed from the start to be a narrative stillbirth.  Having actively abandoned its original identity, Young Justice was left desperately scrambling to forge a new one, by clawing at the one thing it had left: people’s nostalgic attachment to the Season 1 iterations of the cast.  But this could never work because every season since has been engaged in a performative pretense of not acknowledging the character-breaking contradictions and hypocrisies forced upon the original cast by the poor writing decisions.  Phantoms would have to thread an impossible needle: wanting to be about the “journey” of the original cast for nostalgia reasons, while not being able to acknowledge that the last two seasons (and attaché comics) have resulted in all of them either actively failing or being tragically soft-locked out of their explicit character arcs without breaking that kayfabe of performative ignorance.  And, in trying to tell a story without engaging with that story's content or how broken it had become, what would they have left but to fall back yet again on canonical filler, sidequests and references held loosely together by contrivance? 

It could only ever be a zombie-fic of itself: having long-since concluded or abandoned any remaining character or plot threads, driven forward solely by the stream-of-consciousness compulsive-writing of a production team desperate to remain present, relevant and profitable.  And from the feedback I’ve heard from the general community and fandom friends who kept watching, it seems like Phantoms did indeed pull down the curtain on that empty, directionless, hollow-automaton-filled narrative for a lot of people.

As for Greg Weisman himself, while I agree that he is a particularly poor character-writer, I will respectfully but firmly disagree that he’s otherwise decent.  I think the fact that we have to caveat “he’s a decent writer” with the condition “so long as he’s surrounded by a team of strong editors and directors to keep him from being awful” kind of reveals that he isn’t.   I also don’t really accept the premise that the main fault lies with the people around him for not stopping that.  They certainly haven’t helped but he’s a grown adult who can make his own decisions. Enablers don’t generally induce behaviours; they simply amplify or become complicit in the behaviours that are already there.

In the video Plagiarism and You(tube), Hbomberguy did a great job of laying out the difference between “honest mistakes” – which can be easily cleared up by good-faith apologies and explanations – and “dishonest behaviour” – where the person(s) is aware that what they are doing is not appropriate and falls back on reputation-protecting deflections and “non-apologies” to avoid consequences when caught.  Weisman would not so-frequently disrespect his colleagues’ work with contradictions, or write patterns of misogyny, queerphobia, casual racism/ableism and abuse apologism into his stories if he did not fundamentally feel entitled to do so, was not comfortable and in agreement with those beliefs, or did not think he could get away with it.  And the way he has routinely responded to even gentle, good-faith comments by fans expressing frustration/confusion with inconsistent characterisation/structure indicates someone who knows he has done the wrong thing but resents being questioned or held accountable.  And then we see him continuing the same behaviours.  A “decent writer” should not need an editor to hold their hand and explain why directly contracting explicitly-stated characterisation is bad practice.  A “good ally” should not need someone to tell them that disproportionately subjecting queer/non-white characters to shock-value violence, writing minority characters to be dirty/dangerous/less valid in their identities, erasing/demonising/misgendering AFAB trans and bisexual identities, rewriting strong female characters to need motherhood or men to “tell them who they are”, writing gay men to be secretly misogynistic/racist, and framing victims as being equally responsible for their abuse is offensive.  All of which he has either directly done or tacitly allowed under his lead.  Multiple times.  Across multiple series.

These are not isolated incidents of “good-faith mistakes” from a newcomer learning the ropes (if they were, it wouldn’t bother me like this).  Weisman has had multiple seasons - multiple franchises even - and decades to show himself to be the kind of sincere ally and visionary artist of integrity that myself and his fans wanted him to be… and that he has so benefited from presenting himself as.  He has chosen not to. Say what you want about their stories, but you can’t claim that marginalised creators like ND Stevenson, Rebecca Sugar, Dana Terrace and allies like Neil Gaiman didn’t push back hard against their own publishers and make a lot of careful compromises in order to tell those stories in a way they felt was respectful. Weisman is in a very privileged position, with a resume that carries a decent amount of clout. He could have held himself to the creative standards he publicly expresses; could have worked improve his craft, could have examined his own biases and actually learned from the communities his stories speak about/over.  But he didn’t – because obviously it's easier and more comfortable to keep being lazy, keep relying on his colleagues to carry him, to not question his own biases/privileges and then lie when caught.  And with the money he makes, and all the second chances and new jobs he keeps getting handed, what incentive does he have to change that behaviour? 

So, personally I don’t buy his attempts to position himself as an UwU Nice Guy Ally whose haters are taking him out of context and whose nasty publishers keep forcing him to do incoherent bigotry.  He’s a grown-up, who can own his own behaviour.  And, even with a generous reading, this is at best the behaviour of a fair-weather sell-out who is willing to abandon his principles at the slightest hint of pressure from above.  That is not what respect looks like.  I wanted to give him good faith, but in light of all this, I find I can no longer trust him to keep his word or be honest about his intentions.

This is kind of the other reason why I choose not to support or engage with YJ Phantoms (or the revival in general): on top of being utterly disinterested, I just don’t want to incentivise this kind of creative behaviour with more money or attention.  I also can’t ignore what could be a pattern where Weisman makes grand promises that he likely never has a plan or intent to fulfill, then deliberately leaves holes/timeskips/inconsistencies in his narratives in order to generate ongoing demand for separate-purchase side content which promises to “fill those gaps”… but which never does because there isn’t actually a plan to facilitate that (thus creating an endless cycle of demand and profit).  To me that cuts a little too close to the potential for a privileged creator to be exploiting their clout and the good-faith belief of their fanbase in order to grift those fans out of their time and money.  I don’t find that acceptable.

So, yeah.  Not to deploy the GIF again but:

It'll be a big, fat doughnut on YJ Phantoms content from me 🍩. Sorry!

[lackoftrumpets]

The TTRPGs I played in 2023: Part 1

With the year coming to a close, I wanted to do a wrap up on all of the tabletop games I have played. While sometimes it can be difficult to get people to play other games, thankfully that was not an issue this year. If I had to guess a reason why, it might be because of the OGL controversy at the start of the year combined with new people starting to get more curious about the hobby after starting with D&D 5e. I don't really have a fancy ordering or ranking scheme for these posts, so I'm just going to write about what my experiences were like with each game. This first part is for the games that most people are likely to be experienced with while the second (and possibly third) will be about all the one page RPGs I played near the end of the year.

D&D 5e

While my interest for the game is dwindling because of WOTC's shenanigans and the fact I have been playing the game for 5 years, I still am enjoying the campaign I have been running within it for 2 years now. My players have been amazing. The ways they engage with the story I have created always surprise me in the best ways possible. Heroic fantasy with a lot of magic is something I love a lot, but I'm ready to start moving to new things. Combat is getting pretty rough as we move to the higher levels mainly because the game's crowd control options are obnoxious to deal with as both a player and a GM. I could always just throw more minions and run more encounters, but that is kind of difficult to do for a casual game when players can't make it every session and we only play about 2-3 hours per session. I love the high magic and power within the game, I just wish it was done in more enjoyable ways.

Pathfinder 2e

This game is the other TTRPG I've spent a lot of time playing this year. While most people would have looked at me like a crazy person when ever I mentioned Pathfinder, that changed this year. I got to actively be both a player and a GM for this system, which isn't something that happens often. I love the crazy amount of customization and all of the mechanics that want you to work together. How the game handles crowd control is something I also appreciate as well. The three action system allows a lot more variance than "you just lose a turn" or "can't do anything" if affected by something that slows you down. A lot of the keywords can be a pain to remember, but that isn't something I have a problem with. When it comes to heroic fantasy, this is likely to be my go to game after I finish my current 5e campaign. I haven't read much of the remaster yet, but I hear it is fun.

Call of Cthulhu 7e

Every October I make sure I run at least one game of Call Cthulhu. This year it was the players try to escape an abandoned mall answering questions horror media. Slow resource draining alongside the constant fear of dying within the blink of an eye always creates an interesting atmosphere at the table. Having the margins of success being so slim on the d100 also creates some extremely clutch moments when the odds for success can be as insane as a 1 in 90 chance of success. I will admit though, I would probably be better off running something a bit lighter for more horror games in the future. I can never remember how the rules of combat functions and when I do I always forget them half way through a fight. This same thing happens whenever a chase breaks out. I plan to continue the tradition of playing this game in October, but I plan on adding more games to my spooky arsenal next year.

ROOT (Pbta)

I haven't posted much about it on this blog, but I LOVE the board game ROOT. Asymmetric games are awesome and I love the flavor of each faction. I also might be extremely biased towards anthropomorphic animals. I haven't read many other Pbta games so I can't compare it to other games based on that system, but I can say it is an enjoyable experience. It does a great job getting players into the role of a bunch of animal scoundrels who do what they wish. While a bit clunky, being able to see the consequence of one's action with the forest changing and gaining new moves that involves one's reputation are things I love to see. My players always had a habit of trying to do the jobs they were hired for super professionally only for it to devolve into them all transforming into arsonists. I imagine my view of this game is extremely biased because I love the world and board game its based off of, but I would recommend giving this game a play.

Monster of the Week

I only got to play this game for one session so I don't have that great of an insight into it, but it was still a fun experience. We played a pre-written module about hunting down someone making cyborg monkeys and I had a lot of fun. Pbta does a good job simulating tropes and everybody at the table leaned into it. I had a lot of fun playing a stock secret agent who does a poor job of being secretive. I'm not 100% sure I got the full danger experience out of the system. We played the one shot with 7 luck boxes, so we were pretty much able to just ignore harm any time we were in danger. It felt kind of awkward and the GM reduced how many we could use half way through the session. We also managed to track down the creator faster than the GM apparently expected. Someone with more experience on the system would probably be able to explain what might have went wrong, so I'm not going to be to harsh on the game for this. If I ever got the chance to play or run this game, I would absolutely take the opportunity to do so.