#i am mentally ill right now
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this silly little lad giving me the hope i need rn fr
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This is such a small problem when you compare it to problems anyone else has or even previous problems I personally have had but I am bummed out by the lack of weird too online genderweird dykes in my real life. I have to pretend to be normal so much. Soooooo much. Do you know how many normal sentences I come up with daily? It's so many. And I am like I can't keep doing this by myself. where are my fellow freaks
#like i love and respect normie lesbians. straight women too. i support you#but sometimes i am like. i can't. i need to be a freak right now i need to say bad sentences#i need to be cringe and i need to do it around people who understand the references i am working with#i do not want to be around people who are moderately excited about life i need to talk to the gay people with highly specific fixations#i need to find the people with the mental illness that makes them make unhinged life decisions i need us to be on the same level of crazy#i cannot keep getting stared at blankly or pitied for things that seem normal to me. i will turn into the hulk
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now we get to the stuff that makes people look at me weirdly BUT I'M HAVING FUN SO WHO GIVE A SHIT
featuring things that- MORE OR LESS REVOLVE AROUND @xaq-the-aereon's crossover game The Hato Parable ( which you should totally play ), ranging from legitimate fanart to AU stuff directly inspired by it- including various bird designs for the narrator - from a raven/crow, a chukar partridge, to finally - a grey partridge;
( ALSO FEATURING !!!!! @singalongpokey's hiyoko design & @indigo-art's narrator arthur! or a rendition of him as a bird, anyway )
#uwu art#Hatoful Boyfriend#The Stanley Parable#The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe#Hatoful Boyfriend: A School of Hope and White Wings#The Hato Parable#blood cw#blood tw#Shuu Iwamine#TSP Narrator#Hiyoko Tosaka#i am what you call. mentally ill#ALSO BEEN HOARDING THESE UP FOR THE LONGEST TIME#it ALL spills out tonight Right Now#also featuring the image that indirectly lead to a crackship as well as thierry getting drawn as shuu numerous times#i have not one regret
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You are Spring.
#this is so much more comforting to me than a simple dont die#when i think 'dont die' i am overwhelmed. it is exhausting to imagine so far into the future#but death will wait is calming#its saying just for right now its okay#you can wait#and death will always be there for you#i love that!!#mental illness#mental health#actually mentally ill#spilled words#spilled ink#quotes#poetry#poem#literature#dark academia#gwendolyn brooks#words#words words words#typography#to the young who want to die
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I made this post before we knew Focalors and Furina were different people, and the fact I still find it accurate to Focalors but not Local Fatui Harbinger Fucker Furina is rly funny to me
It is my humble opinion that Focalors and Arlecchino WOULD argue about who is worse for Furina, tho
#Focalors: Furina ilu so much ur like a little angel to me — but wtf is THAT?? *pointing at Arlecchino*#Furina: m…my boyfriend…?#Focalors: put her back where you found her now#Furina: but—#Arlecchino: that would be quite difficult considering I’m the one who snuck up on her#Furina: Arle you’re not helping—#Focalors: you motherfucker—#Arlecchino: I suppose you’re right. the children do consider her their mother these days so I am something of a ‘’motherfucker’’ aren’t I—#Furina: you’RE NOT HELPING ARLE—#Focalors: NEUVILLETTE WE’RE REINSTATING THE DEATH PENALTY#Neuvillette: I-I’m not doing that…#Arlecchino: why not? it’D BE LESS CRUEL THAN WHAT SHE DID TO FURINA#Focalors: YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO START WITH ME ABOUT ‘’CRUEL TO FURINA’’#Arlecchino: SHE’S HAD CRIPPLING DEPRESSION FOR 500 YEARS AND WHERE WERE YOU? YOU DIDN’T CHECK IN ON HER EVEN ONCE#Focalors: I WAS ALWAYS THERE#Arlecchino: THEN WHY WOULD YOU EVEN LET ME ATTACK HER IF YOU WERE ‘’ALWAYS THERE?’’#Arlecchino: YOU WERE JUST GOING TO LET HER TAKE THE FALL FOR YOUR BULLSHIT PLAN???#anyway that’s how I imagine a typical Focalors and Arlecchino conversation goes#Focalors is the local absentee big sister and Arlecchino is the motorcycle riding boyfriend (who also does some murdering on the side)#both of them think Furina would be better off without the other#and then there’s Furina who is just so mentally ill and loves both of them#and Neuvillette is the only stable one and he lets Furina cry to him when both of them are upsetting her#I think about all this a normal amount. ahem#Arlefuri#Furina#Arlecchino#Focalors#Neuvilette //#Genshin Impact //
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I often worry that occasionally writing fanfiction will be my only contribution to society... but then I remember the following quote and at least feel some solace.
"Hence, my board shorts— the international sign for 'I am not a useful member of society.'" —Donnie, "Man vs. Sewer"
some days, we just need our board shorts
unfortunately, however, "some days" is "virtually every day" for me
#rottmnt#aghhhhh#i am so mentally and physically exhausted#i rarely am able to leave my house#existing is my job right now#i really wish i got paid for that#like fhsh#it's so exhausting#i dont want to do this anymore#on a happier note DONNIE#i love him#quotes#aaaaggh#i want to cry so badly but i cannot ✨️#rottmnt screenshot#gotta love mental illness#and invisible physical illness#i appear fine#but i am very not#AHHH DONNIE#more on my existential angst later#feeling like vincent van gogh#in the sense that with my mental exhaustion i fear i will forever be a burden on those i love#anyway!! donnie yeah yeah
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i think i need to go for a drunken walk while poorly dressed and cry in the graveyard
#i am scared to live in my home country right now#as a trans person#and a gay person#and a mentally and physically ill person
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2024 dsmp lore moodboard
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i still cannot get over The Twins like.
imagine.
you have another version of you out there arguably living a life just as difficult as yours, if not more, that you can talk to at literally Any Time! and they're You so you basically already have half a convo down anytime you decide to pop on over via a portal
1610 and 42 stepping out of their respective portals side-by-side just to stroll out of an alleyway like nothin happened just going:
1610: LOUD SIGH
42: rough day too huh?
1610, brushing debris off of his shoulder: yeeep. another run-in with the rhino. again.
42: you didn't lock his dumb ass up like, last month? how'd he get out?
1610: don't know, don't care. so done with this week, i just wanna... i dunno. hibernate til spring 😮💨
42: man, what a mood.
1610: what happened to you? you look like you had a rougher day than me!
42, covered in visible bruises and cuts along with his bandages: mannnn... rougher week more like. well... rougher life. but. anyways.
they both nod at each other in Understanding
#spiderverse#miles g morales#miles morales#can yall imagine the Sleepovers#and the fact that if miles canonically has anxiety then All Mileses have anxiety#goddamn. in 42's case the panic attacks would be SO damn painful alongside obvious ptsd symptoms#OUHHHHHHHGGGGHGGGBH MY BABY BOYS#if i think abt it too much ill cry 😢#they are both Anxiety Brothers In Arms. just sharing one look between each other#and thats all they need#i am also so so so so enamoured with them swapping Mental Health Tips with each other#bc you know damn well aaron is NOT helping 42's traumatized ass with any of that 😭😭😭#poor kiddo#then he finds 1610 and 1610 is like 'dude that sounds like symptoms of ptsd. also youre having a panic attack rn'#and a whole new world is opened up for widdle miles g#but 42 is Not Dumb and i know he has coping mechanisms of his own!#catch him str8 up sitting on 1610 when he's havin a panic attack and 1610 goes 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING'#42: trust me bro. you need pressure on you rn. i do this all the time when im panicking like u are#1610: you get someone to sit on you?!#42: uh. no. i haul over aaron's punching bag off the chain and lay it on me.#1610 who is now visibly much calmer: uhhh wow. hm. that's kind of a good idea actually#42: right?! it helps out a lot!#clown horn
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You can become so used to the darkness that you mistake it for the light. What feels safe, feels familiar, is not always as it appears to be.
#sorry that this is so ominous#it's more of a vent post i guess#I'm struggling with my depression and PTSD a lot lately#and it's becoming very difficult to deal with#sometimes with mental illness you end up falling into unhealthy cycles of thinking#or you resist the things that are good and healthy for you#I'm struggling a lot with those things right now#where i am just having a very hard time looking at the positives within my situation#but yeah#personal#vent post#vent
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OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.
and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!
and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability
#PSA: don’t fucking tell me to Seek Therapy or Try Medication. i am Aware. i have Tried. it isn’t that fucking simple#and this is my blog. i’ll complain about my illnesses all i want to. if you don’t like it i strongly encourage you to unfollow me#ocd#actually ocd#cw ocd#cw mental illness#mental health stuff#Seven.txt#Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is actually SO goddamn insidious. and only ppl that have lived with it will understand that#it’s a terrible terrible thing. to have something ruin your entire life under the guise of keeping you safe#it’s like being abused by your own mind and i don’t say that lightly#okay. stopped crying long enough to get this post out of my brain and onto my blog#gonna put Walking Disaster on loop and return to my Mental Illness Floor Time now#if no one hears from me for a little while it’s not personal i just. need to not be a Person right now. i’m so tired
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There are four main types of Batfam fans in regard to how people interpret Bruce Wayne as a dad (/Joking. This is mostly satire and should not be taken seriously):
Fans that think Bruce is emotionally constipated and isn't the best at being a parent but still tries (Differs per person). Don't necessarily think he's absuive but thinks he can be toxic or have unhealthy expectations for the Robins. Can smell the Oldest Daughter Syndrome coming from Dick and have Family Line (By Conan Gray) as their top song on their Dick inspired playlist and Daddy Issues (By The Neighbourhood) for Jason.
Fans that choose to believe Bruce goes to therapy in their own canon. Love B:WFA. Thinks the comic can be cheesy at times and so find a balance between B:WFA Bruce and Please Go To Therapy BruceTM as their middle ground. He struggles. They advocate that Bruce is not a bad parent, he just has bad writers that seem to forget Bruce wouldn't hurt kids, especially not his own. Love the humane moments and scenes he has in BTAS and the early JL cartoons. He may not be perfect but he's not literally abusive. Whores for Bruce being able to admit when he is wrong and for Jason and Bruce reconciling. I recommend Grow As We Go by Ben Platt for this one.
A mix between the first two. Was fine-ish when Dick was younger. Didn't help him in the healthiest way but eh. Still emotionally constipated but that happened more so after Dick left and Jason died. Started getting better when Tim came back but was still closed off. Should probably go to therapy with the kids so they can drag his ass about all the things he's done that have actually affected them negatively. Understands his mistakes and is also able to admit when he's wrong, eventually. It's not easy but he starts to do better and learns to be more emotionally available. Still has to get chewed out by Alfred sometimes but definitely better than he used to be and it shows. Reconciliation is slow and gradual but progress is made for everyone involved.
The one's I personally avoid for my own sanity and wellbeing:
Think Bruce is a complete bastard and abuser. Want him to choke. Hate any and all interpretations of him. Some of which will refuse to understand how anyone could have a different interpretation. Will point out comics where, in all fairness, he is a dick but forget that characterisation can significantly differ from one series to the next, as comic characters are constantly passed around to different writers and have been for decades. Not to mention movies, shows, etc.
#Bruce Wayne#Batman#Batfam#Batdad#I'm not tagging everyone in the Batfam I can't be assed#Sorry there's like 500#Bruce has a child for every mental disorder he has#Dick is his ADHD. Jason is his C-PTSD. Tim is his Anxiety. Cass is his OCD. Damian is his Autism.#Like bro the therapist is RIGHT there#You have the money just GO#I am a mix of 2 and 3 tbh but more so 2 because he is my comfort fictional father figure. I already have a shit dad irl#I'm not dealing with it in my favourite media too#Type 4 fans scare me I lowkey see so many people like that and I'm like. If the block button wasn't free. I'd be in debt by now#I get that you saw Tom Kings work. So did I. I hate that fuck. But I personally prefer the scene of him in JL with Ace on the swings#Or the one with him playing with shape block toys with a baby whilst Supes and WW handle the questioning#Or when he hugs literally any of his kids#Or the one of him and Jason watching a movie and eating popcorn when Jason's ill. And they have the picture of them posing#Or when he cried in Flashpoint over the letter his dad left him because the little boy in him needed that#Plus any time Bruce and Clark interact as Best Friends. The Golden Age comics where they were basically Dick's gay dads 💀#But yeah. I could make a poll from this tbh.#This is a generalisation on purpose genuinely do not take it seriously#If I see ANY disclosure. It's delete and block on sight#Bruh I'm still recovering from the notes of my Fallout 4 John Hancock in a Drag Race outfit crossover post#I know it sounds like I'm being paranoid but that's because I am. You have not seen the things I have seen in my notes#You do not know of the wars I have fought of over ghoul dicks and high heels#I have seen things I can never burn from my vision. Read things I will never have the mercy of forgetting#Over silly little shitposts. Lmao. Anyway. Here. Have some food.
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I believe Kamala- despite every word she has ever spoken on the matters- is actually deeply pro-Palestine, pro-trans & overall a progressive hero, because I understand that when democrats say repugnant reactionary things while campaigning they are actually lying! which is good & normal for so-called democratic elections!!!!! if you listen to the gnomes who live inside my walls you'll understand her real values, which she'll totally pinky promise act upon once you reward her lies & elect her! you dumb third party voters would understand this if u payed attention in civics class 💅💅💅
#do you votescold blue no matter whos even hear yourselves#like i say this from the glass house of mental illness i too live in but yall are fucking clinically deranged#'u see the good guys will lie to us to seem like bad guys until the season 4 finale when plot twist reveals thay r good!' LUNACY!!!#santa clause is more real than a promise out of the mouth of a democrat i am BEGGING liberals to understand (and give a shit about) this#sorry i guess unlike the 'injustice sensitivity' many american neurospicies love using as a shield for when they do racist things i just#have boring I Dont Like Being Lied To autism which uh is preventing me from (well a lot!) getting on the imperialism train that many#of you are twisting yourselves into pretzels of cognitive dissonance & ahistorical nonsense in order to cope with!#vote if you want idgaf but stop posting electoral cope!!! stop seeking absolution for the crimes youre cosigning!! you cant have it all!!!!#i'll see you in another 4 years when nothing has been done about climate catastrophe or genocide or lgbtq rights or reproductive rights#bc if- and its still a huge if- kamala wins i know for FACT the usual suspects are already cooking up excuses as to why she cant follow thr#through on any of the crumbs of progressive policy she claims to stand by. its already the senates or SC fault right 🙄#ugh anyway now im just going down the 'every easily identifiable lie of the dems that I'M somehow the bad guy for noticing' rabbit hole#and that leads to nowhere but madness and an afternoon wasted 😤
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So, I've been a bit open about my mental health on here since it affects how I experience and interact with judaism, but I'm wondering how you all balance it? I've found that antisemitism does not specifically cause the recent episode/s I have been having, but it makes them worse, and I find that it makes it even harder to engage with judaism, so I'm currently in a Sisyphean spiral. I guess for me, my brain has been so high-alert about this stuff that it completely shuts down, but not engaging with my jewish community is just as detrimental to my health as antisemitism is. Plus, I'm just angry at the thought that something like antisemitism would prevent me from being with my community.
#jumblr#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#personal thoughts tag#i'm going to shabbos services tomorrow since i miss my community so much#i am very protective over my community. i've reached papa bear levels of being protective about them. so it does hurt when i can't be there#bonus points to those of you with bipolar/PTSD/schizophrenia/anything i might be missing#just because i find those to be underrepresented in general. and also because it might help me out personally.....#to be clear i don't mind if anyone with any condition (or perhaps even none) contribute respectfully! this isn't an Exclusive Conversation#i don't even know how i am going to explain to them why i missed so much. i feel so behind right now#i emailed my rabbi so hopefully we can schedule a meetup and i can pour my soul out about it haha#it sucks talking about this but i really don't have mentally ill jews to talk to offline (as far as i know)#but i am open with my offline community about my issues so i don't think this will surprise them#i'm trying to work through my toxic masculinity surrounding shame about how my mental health presents so i'm pushing myself to be more open#though i will say that if someone is reading this and thinks they can trigger psychosis or whatever: it's not going to work like that
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A 2ND DNP DRESSED AS AZIRACROW SELFIE HAS HIT THE BUILDING
#I AM SO MENTALLY ILL ABOUT THIS#I NEED SOMEONE TO HIT ME UPSIDE THE HEAD AND KILL ME RIGHT NOW#dan and phil#phan#personal
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Targeted ads, contact syncing, etc are the worst as a schizospec
#seriously how do we stop it from serving us ads for things people around us have searched for and vice versa???#and often i need location services on so google maps can tell me how late or on time i am#I'm sick of all this spying bullshit#I'm not just being paranoid either#also ummm contact syncing is driving me up the wall!!!#srsly considering deleting Snapchat for that and other reasons#it turned contact syncing back on and now colleagues at new job are in quick add 🤬#I'm fuggin FUMING#at least Instagram and Fb contact syncing seems to be off still?#eff these anti-privacy companies#schizospec#schizospec things#schizospec problems#privacy#privacy rights#and no don't ask me for my snap pls n thanks#actually schizospec#schizoaffective#schizophrenia#actually schizophrenic#actually schizoaffective#mental illness#mental health awareness#mental health#chronic illness#invisible disability#hidden disability#and my search history is pretty darn CHAOTIC#but yeah i just realized that the article that a woman at my group mentioned seeing the headline for#was one i had open in a Chrome tab
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