#i am mad but also. just. resigned.

[hihereami]

milei is gonna instaurate by decrete that national lands can be bought by foreign enterprises 👍👍👍👍 if anyone doubted his goverment is modern-day US imperialism in power!!!! if anyone doubted argentina and latam are modern day colonies!!!!👍👍 he's selling NATIONAL LANDS so ANYONE FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY OR ENTERPRISE CAN BUY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👍👍👍👍 say goodbye to argentina's sovereignity 👍👍his rise to power was funded by blackrock and the heritage foundation if anyone cares

[musical-chick-13]

.

[joelletwo]

[mt-oe]

I love ur workkkk 🥺🥺 … my heart melted

Can I request a mizu x reader in which reader was upset with mizu , and mizu trying to make reader feel happy with her ( I know I worded it poorly 😭😔. English is not my first language 😔). this can be sfw or nsfw. u write the spiciest nsfw stuff 😉

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dear!

Thank you so much for requesting! I'm so sorry if this was WAY overdue. I'll try to make up for it by writing as best as I can <3

Also, please don't think too much about how you worded it. Trying to communicate your ideas, regardless of how you worded it, is already enough.

On an unrelated note, I am temporarily closing my inbox so I can catch up on requests. I wouldn't want to rush since that might compromise the quality of the fics. I deeply appreciate the messages and comments and would really like to answer them but I'm still too shy ;; I promise I'm really trying. Please don't get mad or disappointed in me. Thank you for understanding!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Mwa mwa :*

warning/s: not proofread, she/her for mizu, implied afab reader

Mizu has done a lot of things before. Her sword has known the blood of many, cut through numerous organs, and had seen death like it was the next door neighbor. The fights she had fought were more ferocious than what most warriors could stomach. With a will of steel and the mind of a tactician, a capable swordsman she truly was. But...

How the hell was she going to get through this one?

Cerulean orbs narrowed as she watched you, or more precisely, your back. Her gaze roaming from the tips of your hair to the way your back slumped. Your huffs and whispered grumbles were the only sound that could be heard from the room.

She could feel her palms sweating and her fingers running cold. Not a single coherent thought formed in her brain from how unnerving the situation was. For the first time in her life, she was faced with an opponent she did not know how to defeat.

And this opponent was strong. Not even the swing of her sword or the strength of her hands could quell the wrath and sheer rage of this enemy. Mizu knew she had to plan her next move well or this could cost her everything.

And this opponent...was her wife's anger.

Yes, the ronin who quite literally bit someone's nose, survived a fall from several stories high, burned down Edo, was utterly helpless under her lover's wrath.

"I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do?" she asked, placing a hand on your shoulder, trying to pull you to face her. A groan of frustration boiled at her throat as you shrugged her hand off harshly. "I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do?" you mocked her, imitating her low voice before sticking your tongue. "Go figure it out yourself! Hmph!"

This was so stupid, she thought. But despite the words in her head, she was utterly lost.

All this drama just because she missed a kabuki show that you wanted to watch?

Sure, you had told her ahead of time. Sure, you already planned it out. Sure, you were already at the venue. But it was just a goddamn stage play, what were you so upset about? There would be another show next week with the same story anyway, and if you were so excited to watch, you could have watched it without her.

So what was the big deal about it?

She rolled her eyes before standing up, looking at you in resignation. "Fine, sulk," she grumbled in response, to which you stuck your tongue out. She rolled her eyes once again before strapping her sword to her waist. "Talk when you're no longer acting like a brat." And with those words, she left, slamming the door and causing it to bounce open slightly.

Upon hearing her footsteps fading, you immediately let out a loud sigh. You turned to look at the spot where your lover had previously sat on with a sense of hurt. "But I wanted to go on a date..." you whispered to yourself, throat tightening.

This was one of those moments where you really just had to say, 'it is what it is', and pretend to not get hurt.

You knew Mizu wasn't the most romantic person on the planet. Hell, it was even a surprise that she asked you out. However, there were times when you wished you could open her head and shove some cheesy romance novels, because how the fuck did she not get that you were asking her out on a date?

Urgh.

"What am I even expecting?" you asked yourself out loud, bringing the tickets you had bought for both of you. Tickets that were wasted just because she thought training and buying supplies were more important than spending 4 hours watching a play in a theater with her wife. "Maybe next time I'll just watch her train."

You love her. Of course you did. And you knew she loves you too, but sometimes her inability to understand or express romance made you question it.

Slowly and painfully, you tore up the tickets and fed it to the candle flame, watching as it turned to ashes. Welp. There goes your idea of a romantic evening. "And I planned it for so long too," you sighed as you brought your knees to your chest.

Unbeknown to you, your wife had secretly sneaked back, sitting beside the small door crack she had intentionally made earlier. A small frown on her face as she realized how much she fucked up.

You were right.

You did plan it for a long time. She could see your eyes widen every time the two of you passed by the theatre whenever you went out for supplies, filled with excitement that she couldn't understand then. And you already told her early, so it wasn't like it was out of the schedule or out of the way. Most of all, you were already at the venue.

You were waiting for this for such a long time.

You were waiting for her for such a long time.

And she wasted your efforts. She somehow thought that what you were so eager for was something she could trade for a few hours of extra training.

Guilt welled up in her as she continued to listen to your sighs, peeking inside the room every now and then to make sure you were okay. Her heart clenched in an odd, unfamiliar, yet extremely uncomfortable way at the sight of your frown.

Damnit. Mizu knew she messed up big time. However, even if she felt absolutely terrible, she also knew she couldn't just come back in and reveal that she had just watched you go through five stages of grief in less than an hour or else you'd feel like you forced her to apologize. But how could she make up for this?

As she was deep in thought, thinking of ways on how she could apologize, she suddenly heard the soft padding sound of your feet on the tatami mat as you stood up. "I guess I'll take a nap. Maybe I'll feel better when I wake up," she heard you sigh for the umpteenth time.

Her eyes watched you stretch before pulling the futon out of the closet and set it up. Your hands carefully undid the pins stuck to your hair before laying down, pulling the covers over you, the frown you wore never dissipating.

She could feel her conscience weighing down on her, telling her what a dense idiot she was. The feeling hitting her like a ton of bricks as she watched you slowly fall asleep with a heavy heart.

No, she wasn't going to let your day go on like this. If she fucked up, she's fixing it up.

Slowly and carefully, she got up and sneaked away, leaving the inn and going to the market. No matter how unexperienced or how unknowledgeable she was with how to comfort a person, Mizu was going to try her best.

-

Hours passed and the short nap you had planned turned into one of the longest one you've had yet. It wasn't a pleasant one, but it wasn't the worst either. Your eyes slowly fluttered open before squinting at the faint glow of the candle. The world felt slightly heavy and tilted as your head spu—wait? The candle?

"Oh shit," you whispered, shooting up and looking around in panic, head still spinning from grogginess. Oh no, you forgot to blow out the candle before your nap and accidentally kept it burning. Mizu was going to pissed at you, especially since it was the last one.

But wait—

Shouldn't it have burnt out already?

You brought the back of your hand to your eyes, rubbing away the sleep and grogginess to have a better look around. However, upon looking up, surprise took over your senses.

The room was...decorated?

Or at least there was an attempt.

At a distance from the foot of your futon sat your lover with a wooden crate in front of her. A bit of relief washed over your body as you realized that she had taken care of the candle for you, but still, you were heavily confused. "Mizu...what's going on?" you asked, yawning a bit.

She looked at you with the same emotionless stare she had before sighing. Her hands slowly turned the crate around so the opening was facing you. It was decorated too, and even if it was poorly recreated, you could recognize the setting. It was very similar to the kabuki theater you wanted to go to.

From her back, she brought out two dolls. One wearing a kimono in a color similar to what you were wearing, and one male doll that looked like a samurai. A heavy exhale could be heard coming from her as the embarrassment started kicking in. Was she really going to do this? Yes, yes she was.

Clearing her throat, she moved the dolls to the makeshift stage as she began her narration. "Once upon a time, in a small village, stayed a ronin and her wife." She glances momentarily at you before looking down again, a faint dust of blush on her cheeks. "Her very beautiful wife," she clarified.

Your eyes widened with a mix of delight and surprise. The grogginess from your sleep wore off at the sweetness of your lover's effort. You couldn't believe it. It was a stage play. A stage play about the two of you.

Her hands moved the dolls on stage, making them hold hands as she narrated the events in the story. "But one day, the ronin, being very foolish, decided to go up in the mountains and train instead of accompanying her wife," she said, dolls moving to match her words.

"And her wife..." she continued, moving your doll to look like it was sulking, "...got very upset." Blue eyes looked at you once again to check if you were still watching. You could tell that she was being very sincere about this.

"Not knowing what to do, the ronin went out to think and realized that she was indeed wrong and had been inconsiderate, that her wife was really just trying to bond and spend time in merriment."

She slowly set the dolls down and readjusted, sitting up straight before bowing her head slightly. "And so, the ronin apologized," she said with all seriousness. "I'm sorry, love. I knew you wanted to go out for so long. I should have appreciated your efforts more. I have no excuses."

Silence embraced the room after, completely amplifying the pounding of her heart as she awaited your response. Jitters ran through her body from nervousness. Mizu didn't dare look up, not until you gave her a response.

Seconds felt like minutes as she waited. An unexplainable kind of anxiety holding over her. What if you didn't like the little show she put? What if she just made your anger worse? Her thoughts were scattering by the millisecond. She wanted nothing more than for you to forgive her.

Her heart stopped as she saw your hands reach for the dolls, looking over them before making your doll face her doll.

"And the wife accepted the apology," you giggled, bending your dolls head slightly so it would kiss the representing her. Before she could speak, she felt your lips on her cheek. The sweet sound of your laughter soon followed, making her blush.

You lifted the dolls up to eye level and looked at them fondly. "You really went out and beyond, didn't you?" you laughed, wiggling them around in some form of cuteness aggression. She lifted her head and smiled softly. "I didn't know what to do," she admitted, finding your fondness for the dolls adorable. "And I really wanted to go back to my wife."

"You could have just said sorry, dummy. But.." your voice trailed off, eyes looking back at your wife's, leaning closer to her. "This made me unbelievably happy," you admitted. "Thank you, love."

Your wife's smile widened as you leaned in and kissed her softly. Her hands instinctively pulling you closer. Love and affection radiated from her as both of you pulled away, gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. Her breath hitched as you opened your mouth, anticipation building up regarding what you were going to say.

"But next time you do that, you're sleeping without a futon."

"Yes ma'am"

[dsknsk]

Mountain and references to The Moon above the Mountains

This is a repost of the article that was previously on Gamepress. I am the original writer of it and decided to put it somewhere again that isn't Gamepress seeing its dead state.

First off, to react on some...less than nice comments...which I still remember being on Gamepress :)

Yes, I know that there are many Asian stories about tigers. This was just the one that came to mind directly and the one that seems to fit the most, as well as the one that seems to fit the most. I think it's also the most publicly known one.

I did not write the story's name wrong, shut the fuck up. I know that 山月記 is also sometimes translated as "Stories/Records of the Mountain/Mountains and (the) Moon" but "The Moon above the Mountains" is the most common.

Without further ado.

At first, Mountain’s codename struck me as strange. ‘Mountain’, such a simple yet slightly unusual codename. However, when Mr. Nothing was released - whose name refers to literature - I realized that Mountain’s codename may as well refer to a certain piece of literature, one named The Moon above the Mountains.

What is The Moon above the Mountains about?

The Moon above the Mountains is written by Nakajima Atsushi, a Japanese author, but the short story takes place in China.

The main character is Li Zheng, a government official, albeit a low-ranking one. Despite his job and his talented reputation, he is not satisfied by it. He wants to make a name and be remembered as a poet. Thus, he resigns from his job and fully devotes his life to poetry. However, this proves harder than he thought. Since quitting his job, he lives in poverty, and he ignores the signs his tired body gives him. Soon, he grows emaciated and irritable. 

He lives like this for a year, and then leaves. One day, he goes mad and no one hears from him after that. The year after that, a man named Yuan Can prepares to set out on one of his official business travels and is warned about a man-eating tiger he might encounter on the way to his destination.

That night, Yuan Can indeed meets the tiger. It attempts to attack them, before suddenly stopping in its tracks and talking like a human. Yuan Can is shocked, because he recognizes that voice as from Li Zheng, his old friend. The tiger confirms that he is indeed Li Zheng, and Yuan Can talks to the tiger, no longer afraid but rather confused.

Then, Li Zheng continues to recap what happened. From the moment that he transformed into a tiger, he has felt the inner instincts of the beast driving him to kill other animals. At certain moments, his human consciousness returns, but these moments become fewer and fewer. He knows that, eventually, he will entirely cease to think and talk like he used to, and be overtaken by the animalistic mind.

As such, he asks Yuan Can a favor. Li Zheng had written several poems, and he shares them with Yuan Can, at least, those he remembers. He writes them down, as Li Zheng asked him to. Li Zheng then talks about how his disconnection from the world and selfishness caused him to go mad. Quoting directly from the story itself (translated):

‘We are all of us trainers of wild beasts, and the beasts in question are our own inner selves. In my case, my beast was my self-important sense of shame. That was my tiger, and it damaged me, brought sorrow to my wife and children, wounded my friends, and, in the end, changed my outward form into this animal that befits my inner state.’

At the end, Li Zheng says he must leave, as he feels his human consciousness fading. The two part ways, with Yuan Can crying as he does so. The last sentence of the story is as follows (and it is one of the only full sentences from literature I know like the back of my hand):

‘The tiger gazed up at the moon, already pale, having lost its brilliance, and roared mightily two times, three times, then jumped back into the brush. They never saw the tiger again.’

Mountain and The Moon above the Mountains

So how does this story relate to Mountain exactly? Well, his codename aside (the Japanese title of the story is 山月記, and 山 is Mountain’s codename in Chinese), and him quite literally being a tiger acting like a human, I did not know until Mansfield Break actually was released in the Global server. While reading the story attached to the event, I found some very familiar themes that also return in The Moon above the Mountains.

Mountain is a very imposing figure, almost 2 meters tall (195 cm, which puts him at 76.7717 inch to be exact), with a rough voice and being really good, both in-universe and in-game, at defeating enemy after enemy all by himself with little to no outside help. It is very easy to think of him as a brute at first sight, similar to how Yuan Can was warned about the ‘man eating’ tiger at first in the story. His codename as well indicates toughness and strength.

However, his character is kind and gentleman-like, to the point that Barton points at him as a model prisoner. Quoting from the character himself (using my own way of wording the original Chinese version):

'Y'all should learn from Anthony here! Block C inmate, but composed and never sees violence as the answer. He spends his day reading, writing, and listening to music. Truly a role model y'all should follow!'

Barton outright says that Mountain is an example everyone should take as a role model, which by the way, comes from the mouth of a lousy guard that only seems to have his own best interests in mind. Even on such a person, he has made a good, solid impression. This is to the point that, during the cleaning shifts, they will always end up cleaning his cell no matter what.

Speaking about names, in the story, Mountain does not use his codename yet. This is because this story is set before he joined Rhodes and gained said codename. This also makes him more ‘human’ during the story.

Later on, after Mountain foils another assassination attempt from HydeBro, the other characters comment on this as well:

Kafka: 'You...ugh, you're an inmate, but you're a lot more composed than the others.'

Domma: 'That's him. Always polite to everyone may as well be his signature.'

Kafka: 'Ah, right. He's not only good in beating people up, but he's not bloodthirsty or anythin'.'

Mountain is really a good, nice person, who has been locked up in prison to protect him instead of him being truly guilty of a heinous crime. (Then again, it has been implied that this is not uncommon in Mansfield). Even his theme song is a calm and jazzy tune and shows him relaxing as opposed to something that befits raw, ruthless strength.

I hope that the pattern here is visible: despite his outward appearance and his admittedly good ability to punch the tar out of his enemies, his character does not immediately match this outright. He’s not a brute through-and-through. He could potentially lose himself by going ham on an enemy, but chooses not to. Even during the final fight, he remains calculated to a certain extent.

This duality is very obviously touched upon by Jesselton/Jayston, and he points it out during said final fight:

'You know, Anthony. From the moment you came in here, there was something...not right. You're constantly acting polite, but you're strength incarnate. And secretly, I have longed to see this. The facade shattering, and finally seeing what lies beneath...'

He encapsulates the duality of Mountain in this one line. Furthermore, Mountain’s fourth archive file and his second promotion quote also talk about this:

‘Doctor, take a good look. That mask of composure, calm, and politeness is off. This is the truest you'll ever find me. Bloodthirsty, violent, and destructive. Look at me and be my friend.’

The tiger in The Moon above the Mountains, or rather, Li Zheng, struggles with a similar issue. His moments of thinking and acting like a human become more and more intersected by the ‘bloodthirsty, violent and destructive’ nature of the tiger that Mountain mentions in his promotion voiceline. At first, Yuan Can was scared by the tiger, until he heard his friend. The story may end on a sad note, but it avoids a possible drama of Li Zheng not recognizing Yuan Can anymore when he’s gone full tiger, which he’s implied to have done at the end of the story.

Luckily, our Mountain doesn’t go down the deep end entirely. He seems to acknowledge what’s below the mask in his second promotion voiceline, in contrast to Li Zheng who only became aware of it when it already took him over (by transforming him into a tiger). As a bonus, Mountain is interested in literature, much like Li Zheng.

I am not entirely sure why Mountain is specifically a white tiger and not just a normal orange tiger, but I think it is to highlight how unusual this specific tiger (Li Zheng) is from all other tigers, having been human before.

The Moon above the Mountains and The Metamorphosis

If the gist of The Moon above the Mountains seems familiar to you, that might be right. The story has been compared to The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. It’s logical why the two are compared, as both of them have their protagonist transform into a creature at the beginning, with the rest of the story dealing with what happens afterwards. Both of them are eventually relegated to give up and resign to their new life as a creature after desperate moments to still act human.

Despite transforming, however, they are still aware. Gregor can still understand what people say. Li Zheng also does so, and converses with Yuan Can as if he was human. The ‘incompleteness’ of both transformations is what shapes both stories, as it’s paradoxical in a way: they’re an animal, but at the same time, they’re not. Gregor dies at the end, and Li Zheng fully loses his humanity when his story ends.

I think that this connection is what inspired HyperGryph to make Kafka and Mountain interact. Nonetheless, I’m happy that both characters are in Arknights as I see them as a homage, to the writer Kafka and to The Moon above the Mountains, to keep them from being forgotten.

References:

- The Moon above the Mountains by Nakajima Atsushi, translated by Nobuko Ochner and Paul McCarthy. The original version in Japanese is here and here on Aozora in public.

- Initial fan translation of Mansfield Break

[ssentimentals]

hii! can you please do woozi with soft prompt #28 ><

the way this is sososo about woozi is making my head spin!! thank you of course for requesting, hopefully you will like it! 💜

fluff prompt: 'look at you, so small and cute.' 'shut the hell up.'

when they said costume party, you immediately thought of paired costumes with jihoon. you also immediately thought of how he's going to hate it, but girlfriend privileges are strong and you are not above of exploiting them for your advantage. 'we have to go, baby! please!'

jihoon shakes his head without even looking. 'no.'

puppy eyes are a dirty tactic, but they always work; you try to use them only in extreme situations and this situation is extreme, because you really want to go and you want to go with your boyfriend.

'look at me. jihoon!' when he finally turns around, you attack him with your best puppy eyes. 'please?'

jihoon's left eye twitches. '...okay.'

jihoon likes to pretend that he's hating it, but in truth he doesn't even put up much fight. if he really didn't want to he'd make sure to let you know, so when all he does is just whine, you continue with your pursuit of finding best matching costumes. jihoon is obviously being dragged along as well, because it's more fun that way and because you know he's never going to wear something that he didn't approve before hand. 'are you done baby? come out?' you ask, twirling in your pretty blue dress. 'i'm ready, take a look!'

when jihoon walks out, you instantly coo despite his annoyed expression. 'look at you, so small and cute!'

jihoon grimaces. 'shut the hell up.'

you are meant to be alice from alice in the wonderland and jihoon is dressed as a mad rabbit and it's... brilliant, in your opinion. costume looks great and bunny ears on top are really doing the god's work of making him look adorable. too bad he doesn't agree though. 'i am taking this off.'

'nooo,' you whine, coming closer. 'but it looks so well and we're matching, see?'

jihoon rolls his eyes. 'i look horrible.' he then takes a good look on you and his frown gets replaced with a small smile. 'you look beautiful, baby.'

you grin, wrapping your arms around him. 'thank you, i really like it. don't you want to match with me?'

it's puppy eyes, of course. it's dirty and you promised to use it only in extreme situations, but this is one. jihoon tries to reject you, you can tell. his jaw is clenched and he looks like he's battling hard, but it's a lost battle, you both know it. with a resigned sigh, he nods. 'yeah, okay. let's buy this one.'

jihooon may act all grumpy, but when you cheer and kiss him, he's smiling into the kiss because your happiness is contagious and because your happiness is his priority. 'let's go to the cashier.'

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[theatrehearts]

i saw the les mis arena tour today in oslo and i have thoughts that i need to share

Killian Donnelly as Valjean is so precious to me. I’ve seen him as the Phantom on West End so I knew he could do it but man he was breathtaking. Especially Bring Him Home!!! He ATE that song. I will say though some part of my brain always sees him as Combeferre.

BRADLEY JADEN my beloved. He is my favorite Javert ever. He just knocks it out of the park every time with this role. The intensity in his eyes, the earnestness in his voice. During Stars, he made me hope. During the Suicide Soliloquy, he made me weep.

Also during the Suicide Soliloquy, I don’t know if it was planned or not but he had what looked like blood running down his chin. It really added to the mad and frantic vibe of the sequence. This song really blew me away. Hands down the strongest acting of the night. Also, he’s so hot, jesus christ.

Killian and Bradley had what I would call a spitting contest during the Confrontation. It was strangely hot.

When Valjean frees Javert from the barricade and tells him to gtfo, Javert seems to snap and rushes Valjean and they grip each other tightly and stare at each other for a long while. It’s like Javert is torn between wanting to kill Valjean or beg him to stab him and get it over with.

I am incredibly gay for both Beatrice Penny-Touré as Cosette and Aviva Tullet as Éponine. Every time they sang I wanted to scream. Their VOICES. Their HARMONIES!!! GOD I ADORE THEM.

Bishop Jeremy Secomb what a babe. He killed it with the low notes. I cried when he and Valjean hugged super tight at the end.

JAMES D GISH AS ENJOLRAS: what a VOICE. What CONVICTION. Jesus I understand R now I would die for him too.

I loved how Connor Jones played Grantaire. As in many productions, he orbits Enjolras throughout the play. Grantaire’s eyes always drift to Enjolras throughout the show and he never kept them off him for long.

During Red and Black R tried TWICE to grab Enjolras’s hand, but both times Enjolras was juust out of reach (and too busy with the revolution to notice). There was also a moment when E had one hand on R’s neck and the other on his heart and they shared a long look and it hurt me.

In Drink with Me, E and R shared a reprise of their «tense gay silence while they touch each other and look conflicted into each other’s eyes» moment. When it is announced that the other barricades have fallen and Enjolras reacts by doubling down, Grantaire seems to lose his last shred of hope that Enjolras would survive and it kinda looks like R resigns himself and accepts that he will die too.

ANOTHER E/R moment: as in some other productions, Grantaire and Gavroche are tight. When the first bullets hit the barricade, Grantaire hugs Gavroche to shield him while Enjolras reacts by immediately (and instinctively) moving to check on them (or to shield them?). Their little group hug gave me major two dads and their son energy.

Thénardier’s queer line was changed to «this one is a bit queer but he’s more fun than you», followed by Thénardier flirting with said dude. I don’t remember seeing this before in any production before but it has probably happened before. Nevertheless, pop off bisexual Thénardier.

A Little Fall of Rain with Aviva and Jac Yarrow was devastatingggg. When Éponine dies, Gavroche looks really sad and then something in him seems to snap and he dives into Grantaire’s chest and R hugs him very tightly. PAINPAINPAIN.

The ending was beautiful as always. I will say though that I have never felt Javert’s absence from the Finale louder. I think Bradley just really succeeds in humanizing Javert and I want him in that Finale sequence and I will die on this hill.

Did I mention 👏🏻BRADLEY👏🏻JADEN👏🏻?!?

Overall a fantastic production and I feel so blessed I got to see it.

Unrelated but I spent over 100 euros on merch and I regret nothing.

[chiharuhashibira]

What about a shorts featuring your fave Kimetsu No Yaiba teacher?

But make it Professor X Student

So, in this version, Giyu's still your PE professor at your university and the old Guidance Counsellor at your old school when you're still in high school.

So a little history too but also different 🤭 Y/N is around 19-21-ish? and Giyu is around 28-30.

Note: W/N=wrong name

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔: 𝑷𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝑬𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲��� 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 𝐈𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

Content Warnings: ProfessorXStudent/Age Gap/Suggestive/Spanking/Curse Words/Matured Content/18+/Sexually Explicit

Minors DNI.

(Image is not mine, credits to the rightful owner)

🌸𝑮𝒊𝒚𝒖 𝑻𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒐𝒌𝒂🌸

You were faced with an intense volleyball competition against the other second-year college students. Shinobu Kocho is really fast, and you can't help but groan whenever she manages to spike the ball. The girl is your friend, but the fact that she is more skilled at sports than you is irritating. Which eventually gets her noticed by your crush...

Giyu Tomioka.

But he's not just a simple crush. You've been smitten with him since you were still a student at the school where he was the guidance counsellor. Yep! You liked him ever since you first laid eyes on him, and since then, you have been doing everything to get his attention.

Detention is just one of the long lists of things that you endured back in high school just to meet him face-to-face. There is a lot more that eventually marked you as one of the delinquent kids with Inosuke Hashibira.

Yep, a bad record just to see Giyu.

And when you went to college, it was also the time that Giyu resigned from his old position at the school. The man is not close to you because you have always irritated him, but he was not as harsh with you as he is with Inosuke. As if fate were on your side, Giyu Tomioka became your PE professor in college.

While reminiscing, you felt a sudden pain on your face, and there, your sight suddenly went dark.

--

"Where am I?"

That's the first thing that you muttered when you opened your eyes. You looked around and met the most enigmatic blue eyes that you had ever seen. Your heart started beating fast as you watched how fixated Tomioka's eyes were. He tilted his head to the side, and without an obvious expression, he asked, "Are you okay now?"

You loved the feeling that even just his stare could give you. And the fact that you're alone in this room with him makes you so happy. You were about to speak when suddenly the door busted open, and there, Inosuke ran towards your side.

"Oi Shiru-sensei! What happened to my W/N-chan?"

"Your voice, Hashibira-kun. She just woke up."

"But what happened? Are you okay, W/N-chan?"

You wanted to strangle the fuck out of your best friend for ruining the moment where you had finally locked eyes with Giyu. That's once in a lifetime, for crying out loud, and Inosuke knows that you've liked the PE professor for so long, and yes, surprisingly, Inosuke's good at hiding secrets.

"Inosuke... I'm okay... But what happened, Tomioka-san?"

"Kocho accidentally hit your face with the ball. You weren't doing well earlier. It's your fault."

Ouch. Harsh. But yes, Giyu has always been too harsh with his words, so it is a surprise to see that he is the one who is looking after you at the clinic now. You frowned and looked up at Inosuke, who was pouting at Giyu. He looks mad.

"Miyoka-sensei! W/N-chan is great at sports! It's just that you favour Morobu-chan so much!"

You turned red when Inosuke said those words to Giyu, who seemed unaffected by them. If Inosuke did that to other professors, he would be expelled by now, but then, it's Giyu that we're talking about. And yes, the man's desensitised to both of your craziness, to the point that he just shoves them off.

Tomioka stood from his seat and looked at you with emptiness in his eyes, as usual. "See you at next week's class. And you, Hashibira-kun! Button up your goddamn shirt!"

Giyu finally left the clinic, leaving you with your best friend, who was still glaring at the door. You threw your pillow at Inosuke, and that astounded the hell out of him. Inosuke looked back at you and pouted while rubbing his face, as if he were hurt, even if the pillow was soft as heck.

"What was that for, W/N-chan?"

"Idiot as always... You entered the room at the wrong time. He was staring at me, and our eyes locked with each other. But you ruined it, boar-head."

"Oh..." Inosuke picked his nose while watching you sulk on the bed. Then his eyes suddenly shone, and you knew too well that when he does that, he has a crazy idea.

"I have an idea!"

"Pray do tell, my henchman."

"Pfft!" He rolled his eyes at you but still sat beside you. "What if I hit your face hard with a ball so you'll collapse again? Maybe Moyoka-sensei would help you—"

"What if I hit your face with that chair right now, Inosuke? You're insane as always."

"But I am serious!"

And that day ended up with Inosuke pitching you his mundane ideas just for you to get Tomioka's attention again. Yes, you listened, but in the back of your head, you can't stop thinking about Giyu's stare.

--

You realised that being bad doesn't benefit you, especially with a by-the-book professor like Giyu. You felt like if you became better at sports than before, Tomioka would notice you like he notices his star student, Shinobu. You can't help but feel envious whenever she casually converses with Tomioka and he responds with a nod of his head.

Oh well, it's kind of your fault for choosing the path as a delinquent kid back then. Of course, Tomioka won't ever be fond of you because of that impression.

Another PE day has ended with you just watching how Shinobu gave Giyu a high five when their team won over yours again. You sighed and frowned at the sight, but then finally managed to breathe properly when Shinobu left the gym.

You decided to stay because perhaps helping Giyu clean up might make a good impression. You stood up from the bench where you're sitting, and that surprised Tomioka, as he never sees you staying in this shithole, which was also your school gym.

He sauntered towards you, wiping the sweat from his face. Gosh, at that moment, you felt like all the muscles in your body had tensed up. He looked so handsome with his hair tied. You composed yourself and walked towards him, fixing your shirt as you felt conscious.

"Why are you still here, menace?"

"Bad sensei. I'm not like who I was back in high school." You muttered, stopping in your tracks, which made him raise an eyebrow and cross his arms. His eyes were fixed on you again, and you loved it.

"Then why are you here?"

"Sensei... I just want to say sorry for being a pain in the ass back in high school."

Giyu didn't reply that quickly and just tapped his fingers on his arm. He tilted his head once again. "Okay. Be a great girl, then. And for the hundredth time. Follow the rules."

You nodded. Giyu turned his back on you, picking up the volleyball. "You need help, Sen—"

He suddenly tossed it to you, and as if on reflex, you spiked the ball back to him, which made a small smile appear on his lips. That astounded you and eventually made you smile as well. Yes, you have seen him smile before, but now what makes you happy is that it's because of you.

"Good pass, Y/L/N-san. Want to try again?" He asked with a calm tone, different from his emotionless one. You immediately nodded, and then he served the ball so perfectly that it almost stunned you. But no, you composed yourself and jumped to hit the ball back at him.

And that sequence of serving and hitting lasted for a few more seconds. Giyu's movements flows like the water but of course, you started adapting to it. Yet, you started feeling tired, until... score! With a last spike, you managed to win! You jumped and squealed in joy as you managed to score against your professor.

Tomioka smiled and finally went in front of you. He patted your head, and that made your world stop. You know that there's no romance in his gesture, but still, you can't help but be flustered.

"Few more practices, and you'll be better than Kocho."

"Would you help me, sensei?" You asked boldly, making Giyu surprised. He took his hand away from your hand, and you felt like cold air suddenly embraced you in the absence of his touch.

You waited for an answer, but all you got was a shrug, and that made you annoyed. But you wanted to be a good girl in front of Tomioka's eyes, so you just decided to speak again. "I promise I'll help you clean up after class."

"Great deal then." He said this, tossing the ball back to you. "You can start today. Just put it back in the storage room."

--

So weeks passed with Tomioka training you after class. But of course, both of you make sure that every student has already left before doing so. You felt happy that Giyu managed to go out of his way to help you become better.

It's as if he had enrolled you in a special class that was just perfectly curated for you, as you weren't just learning; you were also spending time with him, which would always make your heart swell. And yes, everything's decent as you know how Tomioka lives by the rules.

But you never expected that things would change today.

While taking a break from your after-class training, you felt a cold thing press on your cheek. Surprised, you looked up and saw Giyu pressing a pop can on your cheek, which immediately made you blush. You took it from his hands, and when your skin brushed against his, shivers ran up your spine.

He sat beside you, stretching his back and wiping his sweat with his towel. You realised that you had forgotten yours, so you stayed sweaty as you rested. Giyu seemed to notice this, so he raised an eyebrow at you and said, "You're so sweaty. Why don't you change and go home early today? Where's your towel?"

"I left it. Sorry."

He handed you his towel and sighed. "Beggars can't be choosers. Use this. Don't worry, I don't smell bad."

You smiled at what he said, but internally, you were screaming. You took his towel and wiped your neck with it, and yes, Giyu definitely smells like apple and ocean. It's like what you imagined. You turned to look at him and noticed that his eyes were still fixated on you. He gulped and looked away immediately after you caught his stare.

What was that?

Giyu cleared his throat and stood up. "Uhh, do you want me to open the pop can for you?" He offered so, you nodded and gave him the can. With a few movements of his hands, he gave it back to you, opening it with ease.

You wondered why Giyu suddenly became soft. You noticed this change on the third week of practicing with him. He stopped making harsh comments on your movements; he even clapped once when you scored against Shinobu. Sometimes, you'll find him looking at you at break times. And just like now, he would quickly avert his gaze from you whenever you caught him.

"Tomioka-san, thank you." You said that before drinking the pop. Your eyes lingered on Giyu, who seemed to try his best to look away. There's a weird tension that he creates right now that wasn't present in your old practices.

"Welcome." he said in a low tone of voice.

But before you could speak, Tomioka suddenly spoke up. "Why do you always cling to me, Y/L/N-san?"

"What do you mean?" His sudden question left you perplexed.

"I've been your guidance counsellor for two years. And now, I've been your professor for almost two years too. You think I won't notice how you tried to get my attention for those four years? Think again. So, now tell me why you would do so?"

You shivered, but it wasn't because of fear. The mere thought of him noticing those things you did for him since then made you flustered. A part of you wished that Tomioka was thinking of you before he went to sleep, wondering why, because at least with that, you managed to get the attention that you have longed for so long.

You shifted in your seat and gripped his towel. "Sensei, it's not like—"

"So you're saying that you're just weird, then? People avoid me, Y/L/N-san. But you kept bugging me despite my cold shoulder."

"It's just... I feel comfortable with you."

"But why?" You won't know, but Tomioka was perplexed at himself too. The sudden eagerness to know about the reason behind others actions towards him was new to him. You sighed deeply and stood up from your seat, closing your eyes before doing the most insane thing that you'll do in your life.

But before you could almost speak, a sudden jolt of pain hit your calf, which made you almost scream. "Oh fuck..." You said this, biting your hand as tears welled up in your eyes. Fucking cramps...

For a moment, he thought that you were just being dramatic to avoid the question, but when he saw you literally almost crying with the pain, Tomioka suddenly jogged near you and crouched down. He tried to stretch your leg, which made you swear at him out loud.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Stop Tom—ouch! No!"

Giyu sighed but still stretched your leg, slowly massaging the back of it with his other hand.

"Idiot. If we don't stretch it, the cramps will be worse."

And it's true—it felt better this time. You looked at Giyu, who was crouched down, massaging you. You wiped your tears with his towel and enjoyed the sensation of his hands against your skin. Yes, it's non-romantic. You reminded yourself for the nth time, but that didn't stop your breathing from changing as your heart started beating fast.

The pain went away, but his hands are still massaging you. You didn't stop him, though. You want this moment to last for a few seconds because you know that it won't happen again.

Giyu suddenly looked up at you, his eyes still empty as always. But for some reason, it seems darker than usual. "Why do you feel comfortable with me? I'm not a good person."

You wondered why he said those words, but you remained silent. What he's doing now is different from what he's saying. If he's a bad person, why would he spend time training you after his class? If he's not really the way you see him, why would he try his best to correct your mistakes and make sure that you're okay?

Giyu felt his muscles relax, and so he stood up and stretched his back. "Fine. If you don't want to answer, then okay. It's not my business anyway." He tried his best to sound professional, but a hint of annoyance still escaped his voice.

"Thank you, Tomioka-sensei." You thanked him for helping you, but without telling him, you also wanted to badly thank him for dropping the subject, as you knew you'd end up confessing if he kept on asking.

"Mmm..."

Giyu started walking away, which also meant that your training was over. But then he stopped in his tracks and turned to look at you again. "And for your and your boyfriend's information, I wasn't favouring Shinobu. She's just good at sports. And so you are right now. So perhaps I'll be less harsh on you at class."

"Boyfriend?"

"Hashibira-kun's your boyfriend, right?"He was astounded by your reaction. Yes. Tomioka had always thought that Inosuke was your boyfriend, as you were always with him. He has no idea that the guy's just like your brother, and he actually has a girlfriend of his own.

You can't help but laugh at what he said, which bothered him, so he sauntered back to you with a clear, confused expression plastered on his face.

"Why? Do I sound funny?"

"No! It's quite hilarious that you believed Inosuke to be my boyfriend! He's taken already; what the heck?"

You noticed the littlest changes in Tomioka's expression, like how the tension on his shoulders faded and how his breathing pattern changed.

Giyu stared at you as if he were solving a puzzle. But still, he stopped himself from asking too much. "Whatever. Go home early." He said and finally went out, with a small smile on his lips.

--

You slept like a baby that night as you reflected on how adorable Giyu had been that day.

But on the other hand, Tomioka was sitting on his bed, wondering what just happened. He was questioning himself all day after he left you.

Yes, he was thinking of you, and he can't fathom why these thoughts started to plague him. And it worsened today as he felt a bit relieved to know that Inosuke's not your boyfriend. He hated to admit it, but he was quite happy to know that.

"I'm failing as a professor. Why would it drive me crazy if she's with Inosuke? I never wanted to be with her. I never even imagined myself wanting that for my student. But damn, why am I thinking about all these things?"

Giyu rubbed his face with his palms intensely and plopped back on his bed. He cannot fathom why, but sometimes he just wants to hoard you for himself. Yes, it's clear to him that it's against the principles he is living for, but he just can't stop it.

It started the day he carried you to the clinic bed. And of course, he won't tell you that he was the one who carried you. He would also hide the fact that he had scolded Shinobu that same day, after he left you and Inosuke.

That moment was the first time he really looked at you and seen how beautiful you are. That's also the first time that he realised that it seemed like you were doing everything just to get his attention. Before by being delinquent, and now by trying your best to be his star student.

He somehow appreciated it.

Earlier, when you had cramps and he massaged you, he would never admit it, but the sounds you make create a whirlpool of insane thoughts inside his head. Giyu shook his head and heaved a sigh.

Now he can't stop thinking about what would happen if you weren't his student. Would he still feel this way? Yes. He will.

I never really wanted this to happen, but I think I'm falling. What should I do?

--

A few days had passed, and yes, Giyu still decided to train you after his classes. You'll never notice how hard he tries to compose himself whenever he sees you. But today, he can't keep it any longer.

There's no PE class today, so you headed straight out of the university. While walking home, a car suddenly stopped. You turned to look at who it was, and it was Tomioka. He was gesturing for you to come in, and of course, you did without thinking ten times. Tomioka drove once again, wishing that no one had seen you come inside his car.

You sat beside him, adjusting your skirt. "Tomioka-san, thanks for the ride!"

"Mmm, of course."

"What made you drive me—"

"Don't think about it too much."

You nodded and just stared at him, watching how focused he was. The silence started to thicken, and to your astonishment, it was Tomioka who broke it this time.

"Have you ever done something that was against your virtues?"

"Wow, that's a deep question, sensei. But I'm not quite sure what you mean. As you can see, I was once one of the delinquent kids with Inosuke, Gyutaro, and Ume before college. So I guess, yes?"

"I know you've been annoying before. But I mean now."

"Can you elaborate?"

"Nevermind—"

"Elaborate please."

"Uh... I can't put it into words."

"How can I answer if I don't know the context?"

"Okay, um, something like this."

"Like what?"

"Me asking you to ride in my car."

You crossed your arms and bit your lip. Now you're interested. "I don't interpret this in a bad way, sensei. And I think it leans more towards you being a gentleman."

"Oh, aren't you scared that I might take you somewhere?"

His question astounded you. What is he saying? You gulped and placed the bag on your thighs, looking at him with the same expression. But inside, you realised yes. He doesn't know where you live in the first place. "Nope. You're not a bad person. You're my sensei so I trust you." That seemingly irritated Tomioka.

"You don't get the point, but you also do."

"Then tell me!" You said, raising a voice at your own professor as you hated riddles. But then his next words took your breath away. "I like you, Y/N."

You feel like you've lost the ability to talk. Your eyes brightened as you saw Giyu's face flush at the sound of those words. You could have never foreseen him making such a confession to you.

Perhaps he suddenly realised the weight of the thing that he just did. He suddenly stopped the car and hit the steering wheel in frustration. "Fuck! I shouldn't have told you that." He looked up at you with eyes that almost told you how much he feared what you would do.

"I mean, I-I... Fuck, I look like a fucking creep. I don't fucking deserve to be your sensei. I'm sorry, but can we just forget about this?"

"I've been waiting for you to fall for me." Those words suddenly made every bit of fear in Tomioka collapse. He was afraid to lose everything just because of his recklessness, but then, when he heard you say that, everything just brightened.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm in love with you Tomioka-sensei. So I don't want you to tell me to forget about this because you'll definitely hurt me."

"Y/N." Tomioka called you by your first name and suddenly had the courage to hold your hand.

"Are you serious, Y/N?"

You didn't speak but just leaned in to kiss your PE professor, which certainly caught him off-guard. But then he pulled out his eyes, now drunk with passion, and caressed your face. "What should we do?" He asked as if he were a lost child, even if he was older than you.

"Hide this? No one needs to know Tomioka-sensei."

"Wouldn't you tell this to your friends? What if you're just pranking me?"

"I would never do that." You said this while holding his hand and letting him feel your rhythmic heart through your clothing. When Tomioka put his hand on your chest, he flushed a little bit, but he was relieved to feel the same rhythm coming from both of your hearts.

--

Nothing had changed between you and Giyu at school. Of course, nothing should change, or else everything will be obvious. But when the classes are over, he will try his best to show you how sweet he is. And when we say sweet and classes are over, it's outside school, as he will die first before making a move on you while also being at his job.

Ironic, isn't it?

Now, you were with him as both of you decided to spend the weekend at his house near a river. Giyu was shy when he first asked you out, but eventually, here you are, cuddling up with your PE professor, a.k.a., boyfriend.

Except for kisses, Giyu has not yet made a move on you. A part of him still can't believe that he's having a secret relationship with his student, despite how obedient he is to the rules.

You were cuddling with him, making the most of every second. As you know, on Monday, he'll be your professor, and you'll just be his student again, at least in class. You felt a sensation when you felt Giyu's hand slide down onto your waist. But the man thought that you were uncomfortable, so he pulled his hand away.

"Sorry."

"Why? I want your touch."

Touch? He was surprised by what you said. You repeated it as you sat over his lap, facing him. "Touch me, Giyu." The sudden emotion that had taken over you shocked even you. But then, with that, Giyu suddenly smashed his lips against yours, kissing you hungrily. His hands went inside your shirt, and each touch made you whimper in pleasure.

Giyu pulled out and told you to turn your back on him, so you did. A part of him is shy about what he is doing, but he can't just stop himself, so he'll just prefer you looking away instead. His hands suddenly caressed your thighs, lifting your skirt in the process. You felt him getting hard beneath you, which definitely made your dam break.

He rested his chin on the crook of your neck and whispered in your ear with a low, sexy voice. "Do you want more?"

"Mmm yes, Giyu." You said, moaning as his hands slowly stroked your clothed cunt.

"So wet for me, Y/N. You want this?"

"Yes Giyu~ Ahhh~"

"You want to do risky things, right? You've been a very naughty girl. I'm gonna teach you something better than PE." He suddenly lifted you and bent you over by the table. His left hand caressed your breast while he used his right hand to take off your underwear and his pants.

Tomioka spanked you, which definitely made you moan loudly. He chuckled and went near your ear again, grinding his hot, hard cock on your ass.

Hands grasping the table, you moved your hips, wanting him to be inside of you. "Giyu... I-I've never let anyone touch me this... ah~ way since I fell in love with... you." Giyu chuckled and kissed you behind your ear. "Good girl. Let me reward you then."

You felt him line his cock on your entrance, and finally, with mixed pleasure and pain, he managed to enter you, making you scream in passion. "Ahh~ You're so tight. Is this your first time?" He whispered again, and you nodded with tears welling up in your eyes.

"Don't worry, baby, it'll be better. I'll be gentle."

For someone who seemed cold at the university, Giyu was definitely sweet and caring behind closed doors. He slowly thrust himself into you, both of you moaning in pleasure. As he stated, after a few more slides into and out of your tight cunt, it felt great.

Giyu wrapped his arms around your waist, and slowly his thrusts became faster. You grabbed both sides of the table as he gave you a vigorous fuck. Your head was spinning in satisfaction with his motions.

He's your PE professor, and no wonder how graceful the bucking of his hips felt. The slapping of your skin, mixed with your lewd sounds, made you so wet that it dripped down on your leg as Giyu hit your g-spot repeatedly. "Yes! Yes there!"

But then the man suddenly stopped and turned you to face him. You saw how dark his eyes were with lust, and you loved it. He laid you down on the table and ravaged your lips with his hungry kisses as he ripped your shirt, revealing your wonderful tits to him. He kissed them down as he once again aligned his hard cock on your pussy.

He didn't go slow this time. With his nails digging into your waist, Giyu went in and out of you as if there was no tomorrow. You never expected that the decent, by-the-book professor would be this wild in bed, and that turned you on so much that you just wanted to cum.

And yes, as Giyu's lustful eyes watched you and your breast jiggled with each of his movements, you suddenly felt tingles all over your body, especially on the pit of your stomach. "Uh...haah~ Giyu! I'm going cum!"

That made Giyu smirk, and with his right thumb, he rubbed your clit as he fucked you harder, making you almost pass out from the overstimulation. You loved it. You felt like you were in heaven as you reached your first orgasm. Your eyes rolled, and you moaned so hard as you squirted against his cock. But yes, Giyu didn't stop fucking you.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful!" He muttered between his moans.

Suddenly he felt like he was about to cum too, and so he smashed his lips against yours, and his movements went faster and harder than you could imagine. You were literally moaning in his mouth as your first orgasm came. Then, now, you can already feel your second orgasm after just a minute of having your first one.

"Fuck baby, I can't take it anymore!" Giyu said, and finally, with a final thrust, both of you came, his warmth filling your already dripping cunt to the brim.

Giyu planted sloppy kisses on your lips, which you returned, causing him to hum with contentment. Without pulling out, he carried you to the bedroom and laid you on the bed.

There, he finally pulled out but still wrapped his arms around you. "You'll never know how I tried my best to stop myself from making love to you at the uni."

"Me too, Tomioka-sensei."

"Hey, I told you not to call me that when it's just us." He pouted, but then you kissed his nose. "Giyu, my Giyu." Tomioka caressed your cheek and kissed you once again. "Did you plan all of this to happen?" he asked innocently, making you chuckle.

"What I planned was just to get your attention. But I've got something better, I guess." You said that, kissing his cheek. Giyu stared into your eyes and smiled. "You know, I never wanted to feel this way towards you before, but you convinced me to still do it anyway."

"And how did I do that?"

"By trying your best this time and not being the idiot you were before in high school."

You wanted to tease him more, but you just rested your head on his chest. "I just always wanted to get your attention. I love you, Giyu."

"I love you too." He muttered in a sleepy tone as he embraced you tight. Both of you are wishing this weekend wouldn't ever end.

--

𝑨𝒂𝒂𝒌𝒌! 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒊𝒕~

I enjoyed writing this that it took me THREE EFFIN DAYS XD But yeah, that was hot! 🥵 Giyu breaking his by-the-book attitude is so cute XD Risqueee babyyy hahaha!

Anyways, OF COURSE! The most awaited Sanemi chapter will be next and I can't wait for it as well hahaha!

Reblogs, Comments, and Requests are highly appreciated! Love you!

MDNI!

Ja ne~

~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 𝐈𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Take Me To The Sun (Part 4)

Ok it came earlier I couldn't stop... lol

-K xoxo

Part 3 Here

Shutting me out isn’t the answer, flare. Rathnait snarls in my mind. I know she’s furious, hating to be shutout from me, but I also know she was more scared than anything. If I can’t reach your during moments of distress, how can I help you?

Sometimes I don’t want help, Ray. Sometimes I just have to feel it. Folding the rest of my clothes and putting away what few belongings I do have, I’m able to rest for a moment on the bed. The wooden figurine of Rathnait sits on the window, all I can do is watch it. 

Liam was so sweet. Eager to please, eager to excel - and training him was something that I actually found fun. He was the little brother I never had. Someone who could bring me back down from the emotional highs, someone who made me laugh when all Xaden and Garrick wanted to do was be serious. When he made the figurine of my dragon, Rathnait herself chuffed in amusement at how endearing she found Liam. He was just so filled with light that this hellhole had to swallow it up and take it away. It wasn’t fair. 

A knock echoes throughout the empty room. Already knowing what is to come, I steel myself for the inevitable emotional onslaught. Adjusting my new officer flight leathers, I wave my finger to open the door, staying close to the window. 

Both Garrick and Xaden are dressed in their new flight leathers as well. A pack and sleeping pad hitched over their shoulders. Remorse written all over their faces I don’t even have to use my signet for that. 

“Is it ok if we talk in here?” Xaden asks. Yelling from the graduated cadets echo throughout the halls, cheering and chatter are everywhere tonight. 

No words need to be said, but I also can’t just leave. With a raised brow I watch as they make their way into my old room, shutting the door. Xaden sighs as he slides against the door and sits on the floor, legs outstretched. It’s the least put together I’ve seen from him. Garrick sits on the bed, glancing at the wooden figurine with a wavering smile before glancing at me. I don’t make a move to sit by him, my arms cross as I lean against the window bay. No one says a word. The friendship the three of us had, seems like it teeters on the edge of the cliff. 

“I thought you were all dead. That all I had left was the memory of disagreeing with Garrick before War Games and watching my Wingleader not spare me a second glance as he makes his squad when I was meant to be a section leader as well.” Bland words escape me, trying to say something other than the yelling that I want to dish out to them. “And knowing I didn’t even get to see Liam before he -“ I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ve never asked, Xaden. I’ve never demanded Garrick tell me when I could easily hold it against him as someone he supposedly cared a lot about-“

“Care.” Garrick interrupts. Leaving no room for argument. “I care a lot about you, sweetheart. More than that. Don’t blame Xaden when I am just as much a part of this as he is. Be mad at me too.” His hazel eyes blaze with a fight I know he’s aching for. But the outcome might not be what he’s hoping for. Not when there is a duty station that’s my death sentence. 

“You don’t think I’m mad at you too? Tavis, I am furious. I am heartbroken. I was resigned to a life without you, and now?” Gasping for air, I pound my chest for some sort of relief from the tightness I feel. Garrick is quick to try and help me but I raise my hand, ordering him wordlessly to stay put. 

“There are a lot of things I regret,” Xaden rasps, “You helped me, confided in me - and I didn’t do the same thing to you.” 

“I looked to you as my leader, Xaden. Someone I believed in without knowing the full extent of what was happening. Looking past the relics, looking past the history. I was ready to go to fight alongside the two of you if you had told me to,” I whisper, watching the full realization of my declaration - the understanding, make it’s way across their expressions, their emotions. Xaden rakes his fingers through his hair, clutching it almost painfully. Garrick staggers slightly, holding himself up my clutching the bed post. “And now? It’s too late. I have my duty station. Basgaith is done. My journey here is done.” 

I brush my signet along their emotional tethers, unable to break the habit of comforting them ever so slightly. Understanding that the two of them lost their brother, lost people that were a part of them. Garrick lets out a shaky laugh as he feels the familiar sensation of soothingness. 

“It was never because I didn’t trust you.” Xaden looks at my with a resolve I don’t understand. He gets up slowly, standing tall. “If anything it was because I didn’t want to chance losing someone else we all cared about to. We lost Liam and Soleil too easily. I lost them. I’m the one who is responsible for them all.” 

Truth. Feeling his honesty. Feeling his belief. 

“Flare, if were to lose someone like you, too? You’re glue, you’re binding. You’re a bridge. The same way that Violet is. I took a chance and made a mistake and I’ll never be able to earn that trust back. But look into my tether and now that I’m so fucking sorry. That I fucked up.” Xaden pleads, “And selfishly I was looking out for my brother, knowing that if he lost you? There was nothing in this world that would bring him back.” His voice cracks as he looks over at Garrick, a hand on his broad shoulders. “I’d rather you be alive and hate me, whereas dead and I lose the two of you in the process.” 

A shudder makes it’s way past my lips, tears trailing down my cheeks. I felt exhausted, I felt confused and scared and so many other things and all because we we’re so fucking human it seemed like despite my signet, despite my bond with a dragon - I was still so susceptible to human experiences and emotions. 

“I’m being assigned to Samara,” I tell them, not being able to dance around that ay longer. Both of them look at me with wide bloodshot eyes. 

“Say that again?” Garrick demands, making his way towards me. 

“Samara is my new duty station?” Confused as to their reactions. “I was assigned my station before the official formation. It’s a death sentence, one they thought they could give me since they thought you were dead and I was a loose end towards command.” Garrick and Xaden smile, both blinding and perfect. Garrick for the first time in what seems like ages, swoops me into his arms, clutching me tightly as he cradles the nape of my neck. He shakes in my hold, as if whatever energy he feels is suddenly contained in  his body. 

“We’ve been assigned there as well, we didn’t get to chose our station. I guess they forgot that they had put you there too,” Xaden laughs, watching the disbelief as I realize what this means. 

“You’re gonna be with me?” I whimper towards Garrick, burrowing my face into the crook of his neck feeling the tidal wave of emotions of all three of us. 

“Never leaving you, sweetheart.” He laughs again, rubbing his hands along my back, clutching my hair, doing anything he can to just touch me. It’s been ages since we’ve been near each other like this. I can feel Rathnait chuff in the back of my mind, her also understanding that she gets Chradh with her as well. 

“We get a second chance,” Xaden grins, although I know he means it more towards himself. 

“If by second chance you mean I get to be in, full in. Than yes,” I demand, untangling myself from Garrick, although not being able to let go of his hand, not that I really want to. He squeezes it tightly, already answering the question. 

“You’re in, flare. However much you want to be involved in. Garrick and I will tell you everything, and from there -“ He nervously wavers, “From there you can fully decide what it is you want to do. There is no one else I’d rather station and fight alongside with than with you two.” 

Open my arms, he rolls his eyes playfully - ever the grump. Garrick and I pull Xaden into our arms, clutching each other tightly with relief. We weren't gonna go through death alone, we weren’t gonna suffer alone. Samara was meant to be our death sentence but maybe, just maybe - it wouldn’t be so bad.

[thebuddiearchives]

BUDDIE FIC RECS ✴ HOSTAGE SITUATION ✴ VOL. 1

Fic recs centered around season 5 episode 6, Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1.

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all this time i didn't know(you were breaking down) by BooyahFordhamYacht Oneshot || Teen || 3873

buck does not handle the prison riots well at all. eddie gets really mad and then really worried, in that order.

alt;

Eddie thinks it started with the ambulance, or the gun.

But then Nolan’s mom comes out, and Nolan’s going to be okay, and Eddie can breathe again, kind of, and all he can think is 'Christopher,' so he leaves. He walks out and tries to imagine that he and Buck are fine, and it doesn’t work, and he tries not to care about that.

It doesn’t work.

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caught up in the war inside by farfromthstars // @doeeyeseddie Oneshot || General || 2561

Buck shoots him a nervous look before focusing on the road again. “You said you didn’t want a ready-made family. I didn’t wanna overstep.” For a few seconds, Eddie just stares at him before he blurts out, “I didn’t mean you.”

~

coda to 5x06, in which eddie strikes one thing off the list of Things He and Buck Don't Talk About

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follow me home (how could i ever leave without you?) by buckleyseddie // @buckleyseddie Oneshot || Teen || 6517

There’s a short silence and then, “I’m gonna go see mine,” Eddie says. 

Buck tries not to let his face fall. Savanna’s son is okay, there’s no reason for them to stay here any longer so of course Eddie wants to head home to see his kid.

The thing is, Buck wants nothing more than to go with him.

He wants to keep Eddie in his line of sight and he wants to make sure Christopher’s okay, but he can’t bring himself to call out to Eddie, to ask him if it would be okay if Buck came over today. He doesn’t want to impose, but he also really doesn’t want to go home alone.

Maybe if he lingers long enough Athena and Bobby will invite him over, maybe Ravi will let Buck buy him breakfast.

Before he can test that theory though, Eddie looks over his shoulder at him and asks, “you coming, Buck?” *** or in the aftermath of the hostage situation, Buck goes home with Eddie

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gathered up your things and slipped away (no time at all, i followed you) by zashizawa Oneshot || Not Rated || 1115

The gunshot goes off, and instantly, Buck is standing in the middle of the street with blood on his face, staining his clothes, in his mouth, everywhere.

(Or, post s05e06, Buck needs to see Eddie and Chris.)

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Half of my heart has always been yours by justhockey // @everything-i-am Oneshot || Not Rated || 2509

It felt like Buck’s soul got ripped in half when he heard that gunshot crack through the air. For the length of a heartbeat everything was frozen in one agonising, unbearable moment.

And then Buck was running - chest heaving and legs as heavy as lead - to get to Eddie.

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I don't feel it till it hurts by bigfootsmom // @bigfootsmom Oneshot || General || 5796

Where Buck is not as okay after being pistol-whipped as he appears and Eddie is not okay in general.

If Buck were here he would tell Eddie that everything is alright and Eddie wouldn’t believe him, but he would be able to pretend for a while.

Eddie wants to see Buck. But it feels like invading Buck’s space with Taylor to just drive over to the loft. Even though it’s what his heart aches to do, Eddie holds himself back. Buck is with his girlfriend. He doesn’t need Eddie showing up and fussing over him.

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I think that I should probably tell you this In case there is an accident by Pan_Cake_Cats // @dorkydiaz Multichapter || Teen || 2688

But he didn’t have to do that. Eddie is…..fine. And Chris doesn’t need him. So why are his fingers burning as they itch to type out a message to Eddie. What would he even say? The phone drops from his hands and clatters to the table as he resigns himself to the fact that he should sleep. He puts on the tv as soft background noise and just stares up at the ceiling for hours. But he can't help but feel guilty. Guilty that to feel calm, to feel right again, he needs to see Christopher. Who is not his son. Eventually he does fall into a restless sleep. He wakes in the late afternoon to the klinking of keys and Eddie’s warm voice cutting through the sterile stillness of the loft.

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if you don't know me by now by ColorMeParanoid // @color-me-paranoid Oneshot || Teen || 2699

They’d just returned from a call and were lounging around after lunch, taking advantage of a calm moment between calls while they still could when Ravi changed the channel and said, “Hey, Buck. Isn’t that your girlfriend?”

“I didn’t know she was covering the prison riot,” Eddie said and Buck found himself frowning.

“That’s because she’s not.” Or, at least, she wasn’t the last time he saw her.

“Are you sure about that?” Hen said, glowering at the TV. “Because it looks like she found herself a perfect story.”

Or, the one in which Taylor crosses the line and the inevitable breakup follows

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isn’t it just so pretty to think by spiritsontheroof Oneshot || General || 11232

Buck feels like his whole life is a waiting game now. Waiting for whatever is going on with Eddie to come to a head or work itself out, waiting for his sister to come home, waiting for being with Taylor to feel right. Sitting, waiting, wishing.

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Jump by goodiecornbread Oneshot || Teen || 4719

Buck is fine, okay?

It's just that, after Eddie almost dies again, he gets a little jumpy. That's all. He's fine.

–––

Buck dealing with some things after the ambulance jacking.

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a little less war torn by renecdote // @renecdote Oneshot || Teen || 5647

“I gotta be honest,” Eddie says quietly, “you’re not really reassuring me here, Buck.”

Buck bites his lip hard. He can’t tell the truth. He can’t. Christopher is here, and Eddie will probably leave, and then he’ll be alone again, again, again. Tears blur his eyes and he blinks quickly, trying to hold them at bay.

“Hey.” Hand on Buck’s shoulder now, squeezing just a little too tight. “I’m serious—do I need to take you to a hospital right now?”

Set right after 5x06 ends. In which Buck is all kinds of not okay but Eddie helps.

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Misplaced aggression by basicallyiwriteshit Multichapter || General || 7961

Eddie's been having a lot of feelings about how closely ingrained into his and Christopher's lives. His brain can't decide if that's good or bad, even though his heart's seemingly made the decision, and he snaps.

Evan knows he should take a step back. Let Eddie have time with his family, and quit being such a present part of his and Chris's day-to-day lives. He didn't expect Eddie to yell at him about it, though.

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nowhere we can go with nothing underneath by alasse Oneshot || Teen || 3401

Set immediately post 5.06. Taylor takes the bare bones of what Buck shared with her and starts digging, until she comes up with a pretty good guess at the truth of the riot and the transplant, which she wants to turn into a feature. The choice sets her on a collision path with Eddie—and with Buck.

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when the world crumbles (bring me home) by tawaifeddiediaz // @aashiqeddiediaz Oneshot || Teen || 2905

He regrets not following Eddie quick enough.

Or, the one where Buck and Eddie talk and cry it out

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Wish we could cut all ties with the morning light by Mellaithwen // @mellaithwen Oneshot || Teen || 2506

“You ever think that maybe I might be doing this for me too?” Eddie asks.

Buck looks a little broken at that, the way his face seems to almost collapse in on itself, and the breath he lets out is shaky and a little surprised. But it’s true. Eddie needs this. He needs to convince himself that he’s safe, that Buck’s safe, that Christopher’s safe. He needs the quiet ministrations to calm him down—he needs to slip into the familiar motions of giving care until his heart rate slows and finally the last of the adrenaline can ebb away.

He lets his thumb brush at Buck’s cheek, his hand still cradling his jaw. The moment seems to stretch and breathe and they stay there for a while, tethered by touch, until finally Buck gives a little nod of acceptance as he lets Eddie continue with his work. . While they wait for news at the hospital, Eddie tends to Buck's head wound.

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you showed up just in time by lecornergirl // @clusterbuck Oneshot || General || 1445

can i come over, typed out quickly and sent before he has time to overthink it. He wouldn’t even ask, not normally, but nothing about the past twenty-four hours has been normal.

Eddie texts back almost immediately. No.

Buck’s blood runs cold, horror settling like lead in his veins, and his heart feels like it’s trying to climb up his throat and leave his body as he tries to figure out what he could have done to piss Eddie off. Eddie had seemed fine in the hospital waiting room—if tired, as worn out and frayed as the rest of them, but—

A key turns in his door and Eddie walks in, Christopher in tow.

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[gogoconvstore]

Honeycrash (Logan Sargeant x GN! Reader)

LOGAN SARGEANT ANGST AFTER LAST NIGHTS NEWS

NOW PLAYING: SASAMI - HONEYCRASH

WC: 508

Honestly, you knew it was a big possibility, you had always tried to calm down Logan and lie to him that it wasn’t gonna happen, it hurt you to lie but it’s all you could do. Even though you knew it was a possibility you hadn’t expected this. You expected him to not get resigned, and he did too but get thrown out midseason? You were pissed, and shocked. You were really mad at Vowles, probably madder than Logan was. Logan had been out with his friends so he hadn’t seen the official announcement yet. If you could even call it ‘official’, announcing him leaving after announcing his replacement for a second time had you burning up. The only thing that was possibly worse? The comments. So many people were saying it was deserved and he was a piece of shit and how nobody liked him. You were angry, if you could fight every single one of them you would. You didn’t know what Logan would do, he’d gone straight to the club from the race with his friends so you hadn’t seen him yet, and you didn’t think he’d be home anytime soon. If you had to guess he’d get back home and be hammered. At least that’s what you had thought until you heard the door open, and someone sobbing and coughing.

“Logey?” You called out to him as he entered your shared hotel room. When you called out you heard him stop crying, sniffling, and moving which confused you. You sat up trying to look at him through the darkness of the room.

“Y-you weren’t supposed to be here! You weren’t supposed to be in bed! I was supposed to be alone!” Logan yelled, starting to sob loudly again. You were completely bewildered, and before you knew it Logan had crashed into the bed with you. He was shaking, alot, in fact Logan was vibrating like a Temu rose toy as he gripped onto you, lying on top of the hotel bed covers.

“Did you see what they said? Is it true? Am I the worst? Did I deserve this?” He begged for some type of comfort from you as he grabbed onto you even tighter, his shaking was interrupted by a lightning strike outside which made him whimper and his face in your chest.

“Look at me Logan. Of course it is not true Logan! You’re not the worst and you did NOT deserve this! Williams is a piece of shit!” You said, grabbing Logan’s soft face so he would look at you. His tears started to subside and he chuckled.

“Your hands are really soft,” he whispered out, causing you to also giggle. You went to say something back but he was already asleep.

“I love you Logan, I’m so sorry people can’t love you the same way I do. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me,” You whispered, realizing he wasn’t asleep when you saw him blush wildly. You decided to not bring it up and just let him rest.

[inbarfink]

Goddam, just seeing Simon in these last two episodes is really flooding me with so many conflicting emotions.

Because, on the one hand, after his lowest point in Episode 4 - resigning himself to death in the hands of the Scarab - he’s clearly finally doing better. Just look at him making plans

And showing off his smarts

And finally genuinely smiling and feeling happy

And being so glad to meet the alt versions of his friends

And getting excited about his nerdy shit for the first time in glob-knows-how-long

And cracking goofy geeky jokes

And offering others the same grace and kindness he was given when he was trapped under the curse of the Magic Crown

And trying to be comforting and fatherly and give Fionna advice and cheer her up

He’s so clearly doing a lot better now, he’s rediscovering aspects of himself that his depression has torn away from him, he found a meaning and purpose in his life again. And it should warm my heart, and on some level it does....

But it also sends a chill down my spine knowing that this purpose that brought back the light into Simon’s eyes, the purpose he finally found is sacrificing his mind and identity again for the sake of Fionna’s happiness and her world.

He’s throwing himself right back into the miserable existence and the trauma he tries so hard to move forward from. He’s dooming himself because he honestly believes now that he’s always going to be miserable and lonely and fucked up so he might as well have be the kind of miserable and fucked up that is not lucid enough to know how miserable he is all of the time. The kind of misery that at least fits into his world.

Because he started to romanticize being the Ice King in a twisted kinda way, and now he has found the excuse to turn it into a selfless, noble act. Because the only way he feels like he’s useful and like he has worth is by protecting and helping and sacrificing himself for the sake of others.

(And like, especially in light of how he was trying to resign himself to death just moments before coming up with his plan. Not to get extremely dark, but.... suicidal people often seem to ‘get better’ just before the try to kill themselves. Because they feel like they’re finally ‘doing something’ and their misery is almost over. That kinda feels what Simon is going through right now? Becoming the Ice King again is not literally death, but it is a sort of death for Simon Petrikov’s identity.)

And this new sense of purpose in saving Fionnaworld by dooming himself is clearly blinding Simon to so many obviously telegraphed signs that this is a horrible idea.

He saw hints of just how badly Farmworld Finn has been dealing with his own Magic Crown Related Trauma

and maybe if things would’ve been different this could’ve been something they could have commiserated over. Simon could’ve had someone who understood a bit of what he has gone through, and seeing a version of Finn, of all people, face similar struggles - maybe could’ve helped him feel a little less Uniquely and Irredeemably Fucked Up. (For bonus points, they're ALSO both dealing with the grief of losing their Significant Other)

But his newfound obsession that Everything Will Be Better Once He’s Cursed again was making him totally ignore all of this.

And then there’s their little adventure in the Winter Kingdom. Which had both the Candy Queen/Princess Bubblegum as a perfect reminder of the suffering and pain involved in being trapped in the Madness of the Magic Crown

And the Winter King as a reminder of the harmful and twisted things he was capable of doing as the Ice King.

But instead he basically refused to learn any lesson from that Universe that’s not just ‘Fuck That Version of Me Specifically’ and tried to advice Fionna to do the same.

But well, while I am still worried about Simon’s mental state, his improved disposition does give me a little bit of hope. Hope that maybe he himself will notice that he is doing better and won’t be quite so eager to sacrifice his own sanity. Or maybe more likely, hope that now that he’s not just a miserable sadman screaming at their faces

Fionna and Cake are growing to appreciate Simon Petrikov for who he is and will simply refuse to let him sacrifice himself for their sake. Because, yeah, Simon tried to tell Fionna to not worry about all of that Winter Kingdom stuff, that it was just that Simon was ‘messed up’ - but since when does Fionna Campbell do what she’s told?

[aihoshiino]

chapter 153 thoughts

Heads up, this chapter review contains canon typical discussions of abuse, CSA and suicidal ideation.

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: Ten! TEN chapters since the 143 kiss happened and went entirely unacknowledged and unaddressed! Ah hah hah! [<- read this in count von count's voice]

Aqua Hoshigan Status: (Still) white

LET'S

FUCKING

GO

After like 140 chapters and an RPF jumpscare, we finally get a continuation of 152's impromptu father-son therapy session and start digging into the real deal no bullshit Kamiki Hikaru's brain and his relationship with Ai. A lot of the stuff laid out here are things that I had personally speculated about in prior posts and it once again feels really satisfying to see that I've been keyed into what the series has been laying out for its characters now we're getting some answers.

Before digging into the meat of things, the usual shout out to Mengo's art for this chapter. I am repeating myself on this point to the extent that I say "i know I say mengo's art is really good every chapter, but" every chapter but holy fuck, dawg. The expression work, especially on Kamiki and Airi is so fucking good and the way it contrasts the movie's portrayal of those events is insanely effective. I am Once Again begging the universe to conspire events such that Mengo draws a horror manga someday pleeeeeease I have been so good

kamiki's production house being called EYES is so on the nose it looped back to being genuinely hilarious to me.

Honestly this chapter is soooooo hard to talk about w/o me wanting to just break down every single line of dialogue in it and I already know i'm gonna go sicko mode talking about the flashback so I'll broad strokes it for now. What I WILL say is that Hikaru fucking quoting the opening monologue of the series got me right in the gut. These last two chapters have been really laying it on thick with the volume 1 callbacks and while this too is ridiculously on the nose it did make me start barking like a fucking dog so who's to say if it's really good or bad.

Hikaru's POV here in general is just fascinating. It's so juicy finally getting some insight into his weird little brain right from the man himself. The way he's characterized here - or rather, the way Hikaru chooses to characterize himself - is extremely compelling. He seems resigned and weary, almost - surrendering himself to the role of the despicable villain with a sort of wry self-awareness that got a bit of a dark chuckle out of me.

What's most interesting though is the final exchange between the two of them. Hikaru dismissing the idea that Ai ever loved him is understandable but what really jumped out to me was Aqua's respose to this - he honestly seems like… not just confused but almost mad that Hikaru supposedly still doesn't understand Ai's true feelings.

also. can i just say. i earnestly and genuinely thought the DVDs had been completely forgotten and were never going to come back up. what a jumpscare.

real bold of aqua to say this is nonfiction after the whole rpf debacle btw

We transition at last into an actual honest to god flashback to his past from Hikaru's actual POV, the likes of which I didn't think we'd ever get lol. I take Hikaru's lack of quibbles with his portrayal in the movie and that the flashback begins at Airi and Uehara's funeral as an indication from the story that 15YL's portrayal of Hikaru and those events is true enough that it doesn't need to relitigate them and thus, we can analyze this flashback with those events as context.

Something I couldn't help but notice immediately is that Hikaru's hoshigans start off as white this chapter. Given the future/hope (white) futurelessness/despair (black) dichotomy the last handful of chapters seem to have cemented, I think this makes a lot of sense in representing that while Hikaru is certainly not over his trauma, he seems able to conceptualize a future for himself now that he isn't bound to Airi; he has escaped her grasp. Or so he's able to believe, for a moment.

God, Hikaru's little meltdown once he spots Taiki is so heartbreaking. Kindaichi obviously means well, but his words must have sounded like a horrifying curse to Hikaru - the idea that for the rest of his life, he would never escape what Airi did to him.

hikaru begging ai to save him is soooooooo…… augugugugugh. this is all in line with what i'd predicted for their relationship but seeing it actually on page is such a gut punch. I just feel so fucking sorry for both these kids - both of them so desperately hurt and trying to heal and struggling in their own ways.

Because like… man! Not to be like "this rape victim's trauma is so hard for this other person to deal with" but… yeah, I'm really glad that even in just the framing, OnK makes it clear what a tremendous weight and pressure this is on Ai. I've talked before about the potential for her need to love and be loved to lead her into unhealthy and codependent dynamics and I think the HKAI relationship (as seen from Hikaru's POV) is exactly the sort of thing I was imagining.

With that in mind, even though we haven't seen her side of the story (YET……. IF WE GET AI POV NEXT WEEK AUUUUAUAU CAN YOU EVE N IMAGINE), it's not hard for me to imagine why Ai might have needed to withdraw. Because the sort of love Hikaru wants from her - something utterly all consuming, all encompassing, a world containing only two people and shutting out everything else - is not something she can or wants to provide. She's too full of compassionate curiosity for other people to give her love exclusively to one person alone… especially if a certain two troublemaking twins are already in the mix.

Admittedly this is as far as I can go in my analysis of this bit until we actually see how the breakup as a whole went down because I am admittedly still very confused as to the timeline here lol. The impression I'd always gotten was that Ai and Hikaru broke up before the twins were born, but the pacing of the flashback places it after Airi died, which we know wasn't super long before the Dome concert but I feel like Hikaru looks way too fucking young to be like a 17-19yo person here…. so who even knows. Hopefully we'll get some clarification next chapter. In ether case, I do think the twins threw a wrench into the HKAI relationship one way or another so I guess we'll see.

The fact that we're actually getting the real deal HKAI breakup happening on-panel also makes me feel a bit less insane about the Movie Arc skipping over that in recording (though I still ain't ever gonna forgive not focusing on how everyone felt about filming Ai's death even when we do see the final product). That said, I do still have issues with it that I talked about in an ask just the other day so I'll just repeat what I said: "Not only is [the HKAI breakup and the 'I can't love you'] line given a huge amount of weight, so is the fact that Aqua and Ruby had seemingly misinterpreted or even actively twisted it. If that’s the case then I’d say it’s even MORE important for us to have seen what 15YL’s version of events looked like so the contrast with the real thing can hit all the harder."

We already saw that with this chapter having a page very strongly echoing a similar one from the Movie Arc, a direct representation of the real version of events the movie fictionalized and it hits like a truck. I mentioned it up top but fuck, man. Hikaru and Airi's faces here are incredible. Hikaru's blank, innocent expression contrasted with that vile grin on Airi's face with her hair splayed everywhere… if Frill's portrayal of her was like a snake, the real thing made me think of some kind of spider.

That same page also seems to imply that Hikaru didn't only suffer abuse under Airi but may have suffered CSA prior to meeting her that caused him to become hypersexual. This is, unfortunately, in line with the way a lot of CSA victims will cope with their abuse and it really surprised me to see this aspect of it portrayed the way it was with Hikaru - already an exceptionally rare sympathetic and tasteful portrayal of a male CSA victim's experiences in manga. I've said over and over that I'm really impressed with how OnK is handling this aspect of the story but it really does continue to catch me by surprise.

Hikaru only ever to hear 'I love you' as a lie, while Ai can only ever say it as a lie… ouuughhh that's juicy.

Moving on a bit, the Ruby/Hikaru parallels are still going strong… Hikaru's insistence that so long as he has Ai he can endure anything very strongly echoes Ruby's speech in 143 about how if she has Gorou, her oshi, then that's all she needs. This means Aqua/Ai parallel stonks are on the rise which makes me very happy. I also hope this is a lead in to more directly addressing something that has been quiet subtext for a while - how destructive the pressure of being someone's singular saviour can be and how unhealthy this dynamic is, even for the person being saved. The idea that isolation and a lacking support system causes dysfunction is something we see sort of gestured at across the series so I'd love to see OnK explore codependency more explicitly through this angle, too.

No break next week…! Going by the editor's note in the JP version of the chapter, it looks like we'll be continuing this flashback and getting some of Ai's perspective so I'm really looking forward to it. After what a slog to keep up with the Movie Arc turned into, it feels sooooo fucking refreshing to be getting material I feel excited and energized to chew on. It sure did take until the last arc to explore some of this though, huh………..

hey ai. why did you break up with your boyfriend while you were brushingyour teeth. are you okay.

[cajon-desastre]

Hola Carmen, me encantan tus citas y los GIFs que las acompañan, suelen ir a la par del tema del día pero me gustaría conocer tu opinión acerca de todo este lío si no te importa comentarlo. Asumo que igual no te sientes cómoda con mi petición así que si consideras oportuno no contestarme lo entenderé.

Siempre me has parecido muy sincera y equilibrada en tus comentarios, un beso guapa.

Hello Carmen, I love your quotes and the GIFs that accompany them, they usually go along with the topic of the day but I would like to know your opinion about this whole mess if you don't mind commenting on it. I assume that you may not feel comfortable with my request, so if you consider it appropriate not to answer me, I will understand. You have always seemed very sincere and balanced in your comments, a kiss pretty.

-------

Hi Anon, thank you for your kind words 🥰

I don't mind commenting, what happens is that I don't usually give much air to these things because what is sought, precisely, is to give them visibility and increase the drama, something that I don't usually lend myself to, only just enough when there are things that are too obvious which you can see here and here.

But you asked me for an opinion and this is what I can give you:

Disappointment and frustration would be the first words.

Ridiculous and hasty the second.

Disaster and control damage the third.

As a fan, it is not the way I would like for people I like to follow and support, but it is something that is not going to affect my life any more than the time I can dedicate to creating content or reading other bloggers. I understand that people may be very upset by the latest events and I see that, above all, they are recent fans, or those who have been there for a short time, for the most part.

I don't know, maybe I've been here for many years and I've seen everything. I am vaccinated against this nonsense that becomes cyclical and that is always a consequence of some previous event that is usually related to the shipper side and the image that is wanted to be transmitted to the general public, not to the fandom that is attentive to any movement or fact.

I have always wanted my attitude to be Zen, trying to take what happens on this side of the fence with resignation and humor. It's also because I try to compartmentalize what the fandom is and what the series and the books are. Enjoying the only thing that is stable within this madness despite Starz's mismanagement.

I could summarize that the situation is more of the same and I do not rule out that, when this situation passes, we will encounter new shenanigans. They seem to be one-tricks, and as long as it works, that's what we'll continue to see.

I also recommend that you read @outlanderskin in this post. Her thoughts are very similar to mine right now.

Thanks for the appreciation and I hope that Google translation makes this understandable 😘

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Hola Anon, gracias por tus amables palabras 🥰 No me importa comentar, lo que pasa es que no suelo darle mucho aire a estas cosas porque lo que se busca, precisamente, es darles visibilidad y aumentar el dramatismo, algo a lo que no suelo prestarme. Sólo lo suficiente cuando hay cosas demasiado obvias que puedes ver aquí y aquí. Pero me pediste opinión y esto es lo que puedo darte: Decepción y frustración serían las primeras palabras. Ridículo y precipitado el segundo. Desastre y control de daños el tercero. Como fan, no es la forma en que me gustaría que las personas a las que me gusta seguir y apoyar, pero es algo que no va a afectar mi vida más que el tiempo que puedo dedicar a crear contenido o leer a otros bloggers. Entiendo que la gente pueda estar muy molesta por los últimos acontecimientos y veo que, sobre todo, son fans recientes, o que llevan poco tiempo, en su mayoría. No lo sé, tal vez llevo muchos años aquí y lo he visto todo. Estoy vacunado contra este despropósito que se vuelve cíclico y que siempre es consecuencia de algún evento previo que suele estar relacionado con el lado shipper y la imagen que se quiere transmitir al público en general, no al fandom que está atento a cualquier movimiento o hecho. Siempre he querido que mi actitud sea zen, intentando tomarme lo que pasa de este lado de la valla con resignación y humor. También es porque trato de compartimentar qué es el fandom y qué son las series y los libros. Disfrutando de lo único que hay estable dentro de esta locura a pesar de la mala gestión de Starz. Podría resumir que la situación es más de lo mismo y no descarto que, cuando esta situación pase, nos encontremos con nuevas travesuras. Parecen ser de un solo truco, y mientras funcionen, eso es lo que seguiremos viendo. También te recomiendo que leas a @outlanderskin en este post. Sus pensamientos son muy similares a los míos en este momento.

Gracias por el aprecio y espero que la traducción de Google haga esto comprensible 😘

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hey!! Lot happening recently but I'm here! 🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🌲🌲🌲🧜‍♂️🧜‍♂️🧜‍♂️⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡🌤🌤🌤🌤🌤🐓🐓🐓🐓

As ever very keen for all!

HI!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!

21 for 🔼:

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 Perfectly. The perfect thing to say. Because he’s perfect now.

“Okay,” Chris pouts, but accepts the logic.

“Be right back,” Shannon says, walking off to the master bedroom, where Jane’s crib is set up. It’s a little cramped. The whole house is a little cramped, especially with the Christmas set up. It’s not forever. It’s not where they’re all always going to be. But Shannon doesn’t want to think about that either, because she likes seeing both children every day. 

Shannon kisses Jane on the forehead, lays her down in the crib, and then sits on the edge of Eddie’s bed. Her temporary bed. She can’t help it. Has no choice in the matter really. She starts to cry. She feels regret. She feels nostalgia. She feels a flare of self-loathing. Not very productive feelings, she knows. But they’re hitting her in large, crushing waves. So she sits there and she cries into her hands, quiet enough to not wake the baby. 

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9 for 🌲:

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Buck scowls. “Obviously not. But I can put simple pieces together. If you and your sister are both this way, then you have to consider-”

“Sophia,” Eddie sighs. “I should call Sophia.”

“Okay, yeah. That,” Buck agrees. “I was also thinking about your mother.”

---

9 for 🧜‍♂️

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings

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“I’m sorry, Buck,” Eddie mumbles.

“I just thought everything was fixed,” Buck admits quietly. “Should’ve known there’d be something.” 

Eddie nods. “Still better than a crushed leg.”

“Yeah,” Buck concedes. 

Eddie shifts and sits down beside Buck on the rocks. Shoulder to shoulder. 

---

15 for ⚡:

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He can be temperamental and stubborn. He doesn’t usually just resign himself to anything. So why is he now? It’s okay. He can be mad at Eddie. He can be disappointed. 

“Do you have… Do you have any other questions?” Eddie asks. 

“No,” Chris says. “Not really.”

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks. “If you’re not-”

“I’m fine,” Chris shrugs. 

---

15 for ⛅️:

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Eddie is right. Deep down, Buck knows he’s right. Buck has always been so scared of things ending that he’s rushed them along. He’s clung so hard to things he’s suffocated any possibilities. He has made bad choices thinking it’s the only available choice, just because it was the closest in view. 

Maybe that’s what this whole thing has been about. Giving him a different perspective on the horizon. If he accepts that this could be real, that could be true. 

“What does that mean?” Buck asks. “For you?”

“For me?” Eddie exhales. “I… I want to be the kind of person this Christopher says I am. Who is happy and a good father and… And I think a good husband, too.”

---

12 for 🐓:

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“They want me to come?” Buck asks. 

“Yeah,” Maddie says. “They do. We just chatted.”

Then why didn’t they call him themselves? Only had the energy to extend the invite to one child, and they picked the favorite? No. That’s now this went down. He knows everyone well enough to see that. They called Maddie. To invite Maddie, Chim, and Jee. And Maddie didn’t want to exclude him. 

[rius-cave]

I know Lucifer wouldn't be jealous if Eve came back and wanted to be friends with Adam.

But what if she wanted Adam back as her husband? They did love each other and had a butt load of kids together.

I feel she would use their "family" as a way to try and win Adam over, I have a HC that he is big on family. I also HC that he's soft in a way that Eve only brought out in him (and with Luci later on in their relationship)

Eve: It can be like it used to be, everyone together again. We can be a family Adam.

Adam: Yeah?

Lucifer: This bitch serious?

See, this is interesting, because even though I am ALL about possessive and jealous Lucifer, I feel like with Eve it would be slightly different

Lucifer ALSO has depression and abandonment issues of his own lmao, so I think if someone like EVE, who is Adam's ex-wife, is kind, beautiful, has history with him, lived her whole life with him, had a bunch of children with him, etc etc, came and wanted Adam back genuinely??? I think that would actually break Lucifer.

This woman is a lot of things that Lucifer isn't (on top of being, you know, a woman) she was literally MADE for Adam, what does he have on her??? Nothing.

Lucifer wouldn't outright talk about this, instead, he'd watch from the sidelines how Eve slowly wins Adam more and more each time. He can't even bring himself to be mad, he feels like he's already lost. Again. He lost another lover. He lost Adam once more.

Adam would treat Lucifer like always, but Lucifer would just say that he's not in the mood to hang out, or talk, or that he's busy, needs to do things, etc. He'd avoid being in the same room with the two of them, and just quietly resign to a life of loneliness again.

I mean, that's my take at least LOL this may be slightly OOC, but I think it's at least a little possible considering Lucifer's VERY MUCH damaged psyche.