#i am mad but also. just. resigned.

[hihereami]

milei is gonna instaurate by decrete that national lands can be bought by foreign enterprises 👍👍👍👍 if anyone doubted his goverment is modern-day US imperialism in power!!!! if anyone doubted argentina and latam are modern day colonies!!!!👍👍 he's selling NATIONAL LANDS so ANYONE FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY OR ENTERPRISE CAN BUY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👍👍👍👍 say goodbye to argentina's sovereignity 👍👍his rise to power was funded by blackrock and the heritage foundation if anyone cares

[musical-chick-13]

.

[joelletwo]

[mt-oe]

I love ur workkkk 🥺🥺 … my heart melted

Can I request a mizu x reader in which reader was upset with mizu , and mizu trying to make reader feel happy with her ( I know I worded it poorly 😭😔. English is not my first language 😔). this can be sfw or nsfw. u write the spiciest nsfw stuff 😉

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dear!

Thank you so much for requesting! I'm so sorry if this was WAY overdue. I'll try to make up for it by writing as best as I can <3

Also, please don't think too much about how you worded it. Trying to communicate your ideas, regardless of how you worded it, is already enough.

On an unrelated note, I am temporarily closing my inbox so I can catch up on requests. I wouldn't want to rush since that might compromise the quality of the fics. I deeply appreciate the messages and comments and would really like to answer them but I'm still too shy ;; I promise I'm really trying. Please don't get mad or disappointed in me. Thank you for understanding!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Mwa mwa :*

warning/s: not proofread, she/her for mizu, implied afab reader

Mizu has done a lot of things before. Her sword has known the blood of many, cut through numerous organs, and had seen death like it was the next door neighbor. The fights she had fought were more ferocious than what most warriors could stomach. With a will of steel and the mind of a tactician, a capable swordsman she truly was. But...

How the hell was she going to get through this one?

Cerulean orbs narrowed as she watched you, or more precisely, your back. Her gaze roaming from the tips of your hair to the way your back slumped. Your huffs and whispered grumbles were the only sound that could be heard from the room.

She could feel her palms sweating and her fingers running cold. Not a single coherent thought formed in her brain from how unnerving the situation was. For the first time in her life, she was faced with an opponent she did not know how to defeat.

And this opponent was strong. Not even the swing of her sword or the strength of her hands could quell the wrath and sheer rage of this enemy. Mizu knew she had to plan her next move well or this could cost her everything.

And this opponent...was her wife's anger.

Yes, the ronin who quite literally bit someone's nose, survived a fall from several stories high, burned down Edo, was utterly helpless under her lover's wrath.

"I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do?" she asked, placing a hand on your shoulder, trying to pull you to face her. A groan of frustration boiled at her throat as you shrugged her hand off harshly. "I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do?" you mocked her, imitating her low voice before sticking your tongue. "Go figure it out yourself! Hmph!"

This was so stupid, she thought. But despite the words in her head, she was utterly lost.

All this drama just because she missed a kabuki show that you wanted to watch?

Sure, you had told her ahead of time. Sure, you already planned it out. Sure, you were already at the venue. But it was just a goddamn stage play, what were you so upset about? There would be another show next week with the same story anyway, and if you were so excited to watch, you could have watched it without her.

So what was the big deal about it?

She rolled her eyes before standing up, looking at you in resignation. "Fine, sulk," she grumbled in response, to which you stuck your tongue out. She rolled her eyes once again before strapping her sword to her waist. "Talk when you're no longer acting like a brat." And with those words, she left, slamming the door and causing it to bounce open slightly.

Upon hearing her footsteps fading, you immediately let out a loud sigh. You turned to look at the spot where your lover had previously sat on with a sense of hurt. "But I wanted to go on a date..." you whispered to yourself, throat tightening.

This was one of those moments where you really just had to say, 'it is what it is', and pretend to not get hurt.

You knew Mizu wasn't the most romantic person on the planet. Hell, it was even a surprise that she asked you out. However, there were times when you wished you could open her head and shove some cheesy romance novels, because how the fuck did she not get that you were asking her out on a date?

Urgh.

"What am I even expecting?" you asked yourself out loud, bringing the tickets you had bought for both of you. Tickets that were wasted just because she thought training and buying supplies were more important than spending 4 hours watching a play in a theater with her wife. "Maybe next time I'll just watch her train."

You love her. Of course you did. And you knew she loves you too, but sometimes her inability to understand or express romance made you question it.

Slowly and painfully, you tore up the tickets and fed it to the candle flame, watching as it turned to ashes. Welp. There goes your idea of a romantic evening. "And I planned it for so long too," you sighed as you brought your knees to your chest.

Unbeknown to you, your wife had secretly sneaked back, sitting beside the small door crack she had intentionally made earlier. A small frown on her face as she realized how much she fucked up.

You were right.

You did plan it for a long time. She could see your eyes widen every time the two of you passed by the theatre whenever you went out for supplies, filled with excitement that she couldn't understand then. And you already told her early, so it wasn't like it was out of the schedule or out of the way. Most of all, you were already at the venue.

You were waiting for this for such a long time.

You were waiting for her for such a long time.

And she wasted your efforts. She somehow thought that what you were so eager for was something she could trade for a few hours of extra training.

Guilt welled up in her as she continued to listen to your sighs, peeking inside the room every now and then to make sure you were okay. Her heart clenched in an odd, unfamiliar, yet extremely uncomfortable way at the sight of your frown.

Damnit. Mizu knew she messed up big time. However, even if she felt absolutely terrible, she also knew she couldn't just come back in and reveal that she had just watched you go through five stages of grief in less than an hour or else you'd feel like you forced her to apologize. But how could she make up for this?

As she was deep in thought, thinking of ways on how she could apologize, she suddenly heard the soft padding sound of your feet on the tatami mat as you stood up. "I guess I'll take a nap. Maybe I'll feel better when I wake up," she heard you sigh for the umpteenth time.

Her eyes watched you stretch before pulling the futon out of the closet and set it up. Your hands carefully undid the pins stuck to your hair before laying down, pulling the covers over you, the frown you wore never dissipating.

She could feel her conscience weighing down on her, telling her what a dense idiot she was. The feeling hitting her like a ton of bricks as she watched you slowly fall asleep with a heavy heart.

No, she wasn't going to let your day go on like this. If she fucked up, she's fixing it up.

Slowly and carefully, she got up and sneaked away, leaving the inn and going to the market. No matter how unexperienced or how unknowledgeable she was with how to comfort a person, Mizu was going to try her best.

-

Hours passed and the short nap you had planned turned into one of the longest one you've had yet. It wasn't a pleasant one, but it wasn't the worst either. Your eyes slowly fluttered open before squinting at the faint glow of the candle. The world felt slightly heavy and tilted as your head spu—wait? The candle?

"Oh shit," you whispered, shooting up and looking around in panic, head still spinning from grogginess. Oh no, you forgot to blow out the candle before your nap and accidentally kept it burning. Mizu was going to pissed at you, especially since it was the last one.

But wait—

Shouldn't it have burnt out already?

You brought the back of your hand to your eyes, rubbing away the sleep and grogginess to have a better look around. However, upon looking up, surprise took over your senses.

The room was...decorated?

Or at least there was an attempt.

At a distance from the foot of your futon sat your lover with a wooden crate in front of her. A bit of relief washed over your body as you realized that she had taken care of the candle for you, but still, you were heavily confused. "Mizu...what's going on?" you asked, yawning a bit.

She looked at you with the same emotionless stare she had before sighing. Her hands slowly turned the crate around so the opening was facing you. It was decorated too, and even if it was poorly recreated, you could recognize the setting. It was very similar to the kabuki theater you wanted to go to.

From her back, she brought out two dolls. One wearing a kimono in a color similar to what you were wearing, and one male doll that looked like a samurai. A heavy exhale could be heard coming from her as the embarrassment started kicking in. Was she really going to do this? Yes, yes she was.

Clearing her throat, she moved the dolls to the makeshift stage as she began her narration. "Once upon a time, in a small village, stayed a ronin and her wife." She glances momentarily at you before looking down again, a faint dust of blush on her cheeks. "Her very beautiful wife," she clarified.

Your eyes widened with a mix of delight and surprise. The grogginess from your sleep wore off at the sweetness of your lover's effort. You couldn't believe it. It was a stage play. A stage play about the two of you.

Her hands moved the dolls on stage, making them hold hands as she narrated the events in the story. "But one day, the ronin, being very foolish, decided to go up in the mountains and train instead of accompanying her wife," she said, dolls moving to match her words.

"And her wife..." she continued, moving your doll to look like it was sulking, "...got very upset." Blue eyes looked at you once again to check if you were still watching. You could tell that she was being very sincere about this.

"Not knowing what to do, the ronin went out to think and realized that she was indeed wrong and had been inconsiderate, that her wife was really just trying to bond and spend time in merriment."

She slowly set the dolls down and readjusted, sitting up straight before bowing her head slightly. "And so, the ronin apologized," she said with all seriousness. "I'm sorry, love. I knew you wanted to go out for so long. I should have appreciated your efforts more. I have no excuses."

Silence embraced the room after, completely amplifying the pounding of her heart as she awaited your response. Jitters ran through her body from nervousness. Mizu didn't dare look up, not until you gave her a response.

Seconds felt like minutes as she waited. An unexplainable kind of anxiety holding over her. What if you didn't like the little show she put? What if she just made your anger worse? Her thoughts were scattering by the millisecond. She wanted nothing more than for you to forgive her.

Her heart stopped as she saw your hands reach for the dolls, looking over them before making your doll face her doll.

"And the wife accepted the apology," you giggled, bending your dolls head slightly so it would kiss the representing her. Before she could speak, she felt your lips on her cheek. The sweet sound of your laughter soon followed, making her blush.

You lifted the dolls up to eye level and looked at them fondly. "You really went out and beyond, didn't you?" you laughed, wiggling them around in some form of cuteness aggression. She lifted her head and smiled softly. "I didn't know what to do," she admitted, finding your fondness for the dolls adorable. "And I really wanted to go back to my wife."

"You could have just said sorry, dummy. But.." your voice trailed off, eyes looking back at your wife's, leaning closer to her. "This made me unbelievably happy," you admitted. "Thank you, love."

Your wife's smile widened as you leaned in and kissed her softly. Her hands instinctively pulling you closer. Love and affection radiated from her as both of you pulled away, gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. Her breath hitched as you opened your mouth, anticipation building up regarding what you were going to say.

"But next time you do that, you're sleeping without a futon."

"Yes ma'am"

[chiharuhashibira]

What about a shorts featuring your fave Kimetsu No Yaiba teacher?

But make it Professor X Student

So, in this version, Giyu's still your PE professor at your university and the old Guidance Counsellor at your old school when you're still in high school.

So a little history too but also different 🤭 Y/N is around 19-21-ish? and Giyu is around 28-30.

Note: W/N=wrong name

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔: 𝑷𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝑬𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 𝐈𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

Content Warnings: ProfessorXStudent/Age Gap/Suggestive/Spanking/Curse Words/Matured Content/18+/Sexually Explicit

Minors DNI.

(Image is not mine, credits to the rightful owner)

🌸𝑮𝒊𝒚𝒖 𝑻𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒐𝒌𝒂🌸

You were faced with an intense volleyball competition against the other second-year college students. Shinobu Kocho is really fast, and you can't help but groan whenever she manages to spike the ball. The girl is your friend, but the fact that she is more skilled at sports than you is irritating. Which eventually gets her noticed by your crush...

Giyu Tomioka.

But he's not just a simple crush. You've been smitten with him since you were still a student at the school where he was the guidance counsellor. Yep! You liked him ever since you first laid eyes on him, and since then, you have been doing everything to get his attention.

Detention is just one of the long lists of things that you endured back in high school just to meet him face-to-face. There is a lot more that eventually marked you as one of the delinquent kids with Inosuke Hashibira.

Yep, a bad record just to see Giyu.

And when you went to college, it was also the time that Giyu resigned from his old position at the school. The man is not close to you because you have always irritated him, but he was not as harsh with you as he is with Inosuke. As if fate were on your side, Giyu Tomioka became your PE professor in college.

While reminiscing, you felt a sudden pain on your face, and there, your sight suddenly went dark.

--

"Where am I?"

That's the first thing that you muttered when you opened your eyes. You looked around and met the most enigmatic blue eyes that you had ever seen. Your heart started beating fast as you watched how fixated Tomioka's eyes were. He tilted his head to the side, and without an obvious expression, he asked, "Are you okay now?"

You loved the feeling that even just his stare could give you. And the fact that you're alone in this room with him makes you so happy. You were about to speak when suddenly the door busted open, and there, Inosuke ran towards your side.

"Oi Shiru-sensei! What happened to my W/N-chan?"

"Your voice, Hashibira-kun. She just woke up."

"But what happened? Are you okay, W/N-chan?"

You wanted to strangle the fuck out of your best friend for ruining the moment where you had finally locked eyes with Giyu. That's once in a lifetime, for crying out loud, and Inosuke knows that you've liked the PE professor for so long, and yes, surprisingly, Inosuke's good at hiding secrets.

"Inosuke... I'm okay... But what happened, Tomioka-san?"

"Kocho accidentally hit your face with the ball. You weren't doing well earlier. It's your fault."

Ouch. Harsh. But yes, Giyu has always been too harsh with his words, so it is a surprise to see that he is the one who is looking after you at the clinic now. You frowned and looked up at Inosuke, who was pouting at Giyu. He looks mad.

"Miyoka-sensei! W/N-chan is great at sports! It's just that you favour Morobu-chan so much!"

You turned red when Inosuke said those words to Giyu, who seemed unaffected by them. If Inosuke did that to other professors, he would be expelled by now, but then, it's Giyu that we're talking about. And yes, the man's desensitised to both of your craziness, to the point that he just shoves them off.

Tomioka stood from his seat and looked at you with emptiness in his eyes, as usual. "See you at next week's class. And you, Hashibira-kun! Button up your goddamn shirt!"

Giyu finally left the clinic, leaving you with your best friend, who was still glaring at the door. You threw your pillow at Inosuke, and that astounded the hell out of him. Inosuke looked back at you and pouted while rubbing his face, as if he were hurt, even if the pillow was soft as heck.

"What was that for, W/N-chan?"

"Idiot as always... You entered the room at the wrong time. He was staring at me, and our eyes locked with each other. But you ruined it, boar-head."

"Oh..." Inosuke picked his nose while watching you sulk on the bed. Then his eyes suddenly shone, and you knew too well that when he does that, he has a crazy idea.

"I have an idea!"

"Pray do tell, my henchman."

"Pfft!" He rolled his eyes at you but still sat beside you. "What if I hit your face hard with a ball so you'll collapse again? Maybe Moyoka-sensei would help you—"

"What if I hit your face with that chair right now, Inosuke? You're insane as always."

"But I am serious!"

And that day ended up with Inosuke pitching you his mundane ideas just for you to get Tomioka's attention again. Yes, you listened, but in the back of your head, you can't stop thinking about Giyu's stare.

--

You realised that being bad doesn't benefit you, especially with a by-the-book professor like Giyu. You felt like if you became better at sports than before, Tomioka would notice you like he notices his star student, Shinobu. You can't help but feel envious whenever she casually converses with Tomioka and he responds with a nod of his head.

Oh well, it's kind of your fault for choosing the path as a delinquent kid back then. Of course, Tomioka won't ever be fond of you because of that impression.

Another PE day has ended with you just watching how Shinobu gave Giyu a high five when their team won over yours again. You sighed and frowned at the sight, but then finally managed to breathe properly when Shinobu left the gym.

You decided to stay because perhaps helping Giyu clean up might make a good impression. You stood up from the bench where you're sitting, and that surprised Tomioka, as he never sees you staying in this shithole, which was also your school gym.

He sauntered towards you, wiping the sweat from his face. Gosh, at that moment, you felt like all the muscles in your body had tensed up. He looked so handsome with his hair tied. You composed yourself and walked towards him, fixing your shirt as you felt conscious.

"Why are you still here, menace?"

"Bad sensei. I'm not like who I was back in high school." You muttered, stopping in your tracks, which made him raise an eyebrow and cross his arms. His eyes were fixed on you again, and you loved it.

"Then why are you here?"

"Sensei... I just want to say sorry for being a pain in the ass back in high school."

Giyu didn't reply that quickly and just tapped his fingers on his arm. He tilted his head once again. "Okay. Be a great girl, then. And for the hundredth time. Follow the rules."

You nodded. Giyu turned his back on you, picking up the volleyball. "You need help, Sen—"

He suddenly tossed it to you, and as if on reflex, you spiked the ball back to him, which made a small smile appear on his lips. That astounded you and eventually made you smile as well. Yes, you have seen him smile before, but now what makes you happy is that it's because of you.

"Good pass, Y/L/N-san. Want to try again?" He asked with a calm tone, different from his emotionless one. You immediately nodded, and then he served the ball so perfectly that it almost stunned you. But no, you composed yourself and jumped to hit the ball back at him.

And that sequence of serving and hitting lasted for a few more seconds. Giyu's movements flows like the water but of course, you started adapting to it. Yet, you started feeling tired, until... score! With a last spike, you managed to win! You jumped and squealed in joy as you managed to score against your professor.

Tomioka smiled and finally went in front of you. He patted your head, and that made your world stop. You know that there's no romance in his gesture, but still, you can't help but be flustered.

"Few more practices, and you'll be better than Kocho."

"Would you help me, sensei?" You asked boldly, making Giyu surprised. He took his hand away from your hand, and you felt like cold air suddenly embraced you in the absence of his touch.

You waited for an answer, but all you got was a shrug, and that made you annoyed. But you wanted to be a good girl in front of Tomioka's eyes, so you just decided to speak again. "I promise I'll help you clean up after class."

"Great deal then." He said this, tossing the ball back to you. "You can start today. Just put it back in the storage room."

--

So weeks passed with Tomioka training you after class. But of course, both of you make sure that every student has already left before doing so. You felt happy that Giyu managed to go out of his way to help you become better.

It's as if he had enrolled you in a special class that was just perfectly curated for you, as you weren't just learning; you were also spending time with him, which would always make your heart swell. And yes, everything's decent as you know how Tomioka lives by the rules.

But you never expected that things would change today.

While taking a break from your after-class training, you felt a cold thing press on your cheek. Surprised, you looked up and saw Giyu pressing a pop can on your cheek, which immediately made you blush. You took it from his hands, and when your skin brushed against his, shivers ran up your spine.

He sat beside you, stretching his back and wiping his sweat with his towel. You realised that you had forgotten yours, so you stayed sweaty as you rested. Giyu seemed to notice this, so he raised an eyebrow at you and said, "You're so sweaty. Why don't you change and go home early today? Where's your towel?"

"I left it. Sorry."

He handed you his towel and sighed. "Beggars can't be choosers. Use this. Don't worry, I don't smell bad."

You smiled at what he said, but internally, you were screaming. You took his towel and wiped your neck with it, and yes, Giyu definitely smells like apple and ocean. It's like what you imagined. You turned to look at him and noticed that his eyes were still fixated on you. He gulped and looked away immediately after you caught his stare.

What was that?

Giyu cleared his throat and stood up. "Uhh, do you want me to open the pop can for you?" He offered so, you nodded and gave him the can. With a few movements of his hands, he gave it back to you, opening it with ease.

You wondered why Giyu suddenly became soft. You noticed this change on the third week of practicing with him. He stopped making harsh comments on your movements; he even clapped once when you scored against Shinobu. Sometimes, you'll find him looking at you at break times. And just like now, he would quickly avert his gaze from you whenever you caught him.

"Tomioka-san, thank you." You said that before drinking the pop. Your eyes lingered on Giyu, who seemed to try his best to look away. There's a weird tension that he creates right now that wasn't present in your old practices.

"Welcome." he said in a low tone of voice.

But before you could speak, Tomioka suddenly spoke up. "Why do you always cling to me, Y/L/N-san?"

"What do you mean?" His sudden question left you perplexed.

"I've been your guidance counsellor for two years. And now, I've been your professor for almost two years too. You think I won't notice how you tried to get my attention for those four years? Think again. So, now tell me why you would do so?"

You shivered, but it wasn't because of fear. The mere thought of him noticing those things you did for him since then made you flustered. A part of you wished that Tomioka was thinking of you before he went to sleep, wondering why, because at least with that, you managed to get the attention that you have longed for so long.

You shifted in your seat and gripped his towel. "Sensei, it's not like—"

"So you're saying that you're just weird, then? People avoid me, Y/L/N-san. But you kept bugging me despite my cold shoulder."

"It's just... I feel comfortable with you."

"But why?" You won't know, but Tomioka was perplexed at himself too. The sudden eagerness to know about the reason behind others actions towards him was new to him. You sighed deeply and stood up from your seat, closing your eyes before doing the most insane thing that you'll do in your life.

But before you could almost speak, a sudden jolt of pain hit your calf, which made you almost scream. "Oh fuck..." You said this, biting your hand as tears welled up in your eyes. Fucking cramps...

For a moment, he thought that you were just being dramatic to avoid the question, but when he saw you literally almost crying with the pain, Tomioka suddenly jogged near you and crouched down. He tried to stretch your leg, which made you swear at him out loud.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Stop Tom—ouch! No!"

Giyu sighed but still stretched your leg, slowly massaging the back of it with his other hand.

"Idiot. If we don't stretch it, the cramps will be worse."

And it's true—it felt better this time. You looked at Giyu, who was crouched down, massaging you. You wiped your tears with his towel and enjoyed the sensation of his hands against your skin. Yes, it's non-romantic. You reminded yourself for the nth time, but that didn't stop your breathing from changing as your heart started beating fast.

The pain went away, but his hands are still massaging you. You didn't stop him, though. You want this moment to last for a few seconds because you know that it won't happen again.

Giyu suddenly looked up at you, his eyes still empty as always. But for some reason, it seems darker than usual. "Why do you feel comfortable with me? I'm not a good person."

You wondered why he said those words, but you remained silent. What he's doing now is different from what he's saying. If he's a bad person, why would he spend time training you after his class? If he's not really the way you see him, why would he try his best to correct your mistakes and make sure that you're okay?

Giyu felt his muscles relax, and so he stood up and stretched his back. "Fine. If you don't want to answer, then okay. It's not my business anyway." He tried his best to sound professional, but a hint of annoyance still escaped his voice.

"Thank you, Tomioka-sensei." You thanked him for helping you, but without telling him, you also wanted to badly thank him for dropping the subject, as you knew you'd end up confessing if he kept on asking.

"Mmm..."

Giyu started walking away, which also meant that your training was over. But then he stopped in his tracks and turned to look at you again. "And for your and your boyfriend's information, I wasn't favouring Shinobu. She's just good at sports. And so you are right now. So perhaps I'll be less harsh on you at class."

"Boyfriend?"

"Hashibira-kun's your boyfriend, right?"He was astounded by your reaction. Yes. Tomioka had always thought that Inosuke was your boyfriend, as you were always with him. He has no idea that the guy's just like your brother, and he actually has a girlfriend of his own.

You can't help but laugh at what he said, which bothered him, so he sauntered back to you with a clear, confused expression plastered on his face.

"Why? Do I sound funny?"

"No! It's quite hilarious that you believed Inosuke to be my boyfriend! He's taken already; what the heck?"

You noticed the littlest changes in Tomioka's expression, like how the tension on his shoulders faded and how his breathing pattern changed.

Giyu stared at you as if he were solving a puzzle. But still, he stopped himself from asking too much. "Whatever. Go home early." He said and finally went out, with a small smile on his lips.

--

You slept like a baby that night as you reflected on how adorable Giyu had been that day.

But on the other hand, Tomioka was sitting on his bed, wondering what just happened. He was questioning himself all day after he left you.

Yes, he was thinking of you, and he can't fathom why these thoughts started to plague him. And it worsened today as he felt a bit relieved to know that Inosuke's not your boyfriend. He hated to admit it, but he was quite happy to know that.

"I'm failing as a professor. Why would it drive me crazy if she's with Inosuke? I never wanted to be with her. I never even imagined myself wanting that for my student. But damn, why am I thinking about all these things?"

Giyu rubbed his face with his palms intensely and plopped back on his bed. He cannot fathom why, but sometimes he just wants to hoard you for himself. Yes, it's clear to him that it's against the principles he is living for, but he just can't stop it.

It started the day he carried you to the clinic bed. And of course, he won't tell you that he was the one who carried you. He would also hide the fact that he had scolded Shinobu that same day, after he left you and Inosuke.

That moment was the first time he really looked at you and seen how beautiful you are. That's also the first time that he realised that it seemed like you were doing everything just to get his attention. Before by being delinquent, and now by trying your best to be his star student.

He somehow appreciated it.

Earlier, when you had cramps and he massaged you, he would never admit it, but the sounds you make create a whirlpool of insane thoughts inside his head. Giyu shook his head and heaved a sigh.

Now he can't stop thinking about what would happen if you weren't his student. Would he still feel this way? Yes. He will.

I never really wanted this to happen, but I think I'm falling. What should I do?

--

A few days had passed, and yes, Giyu still decided to train you after his classes. You'll never notice how hard he tries to compose himself whenever he sees you. But today, he can't keep it any longer.

There's no PE class today, so you headed straight out of the university. While walking home, a car suddenly stopped. You turned to look at who it was, and it was Tomioka. He was gesturing for you to come in, and of course, you did without thinking ten times. Tomioka drove once again, wishing that no one had seen you come inside his car.

You sat beside him, adjusting your skirt. "Tomioka-san, thanks for the ride!"

"Mmm, of course."

"What made you drive me—"

"Don't think about it too much."

You nodded and just stared at him, watching how focused he was. The silence started to thicken, and to your astonishment, it was Tomioka who broke it this time.

"Have you ever done something that was against your virtues?"

"Wow, that's a deep question, sensei. But I'm not quite sure what you mean. As you can see, I was once one of the delinquent kids with Inosuke, Gyutaro, and Ume before college. So I guess, yes?"

"I know you've been annoying before. But I mean now."

"Can you elaborate?"

"Nevermind—"

"Elaborate please."

"Uh... I can't put it into words."

"How can I answer if I don't know the context?"

"Okay, um, something like this."

"Like what?"

"Me asking you to ride in my car."

You crossed your arms and bit your lip. Now you're interested. "I don't interpret this in a bad way, sensei. And I think it leans more towards you being a gentleman."

"Oh, aren't you scared that I might take you somewhere?"

His question astounded you. What is he saying? You gulped and placed the bag on your thighs, looking at him with the same expression. But inside, you realised yes. He doesn't know where you live in the first place. "Nope. You're not a bad person. You're my sensei so I trust you." That seemingly irritated Tomioka.

"You don't get the point, but you also do."

"Then tell me!" You said, raising a voice at your own professor as you hated riddles. But then his next words took your breath away. "I like you, Y/N."

You feel like you've lost the ability to talk. Your eyes brightened as you saw Giyu's face flush at the sound of those words. You could have never foreseen him making such a confession to you.

Perhaps he suddenly realised the weight of the thing that he just did. He suddenly stopped the car and hit the steering wheel in frustration. "Fuck! I shouldn't have told you that." He looked up at you with eyes that almost told you how much he feared what you would do.

"I mean, I-I... Fuck, I look like a fucking creep. I don't fucking deserve to be your sensei. I'm sorry, but can we just forget about this?"

"I've been waiting for you to fall for me." Those words suddenly made every bit of fear in Tomioka collapse. He was afraid to lose everything just because of his recklessness, but then, when he heard you say that, everything just brightened.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm in love with you Tomioka-sensei. So I don't want you to tell me to forget about this because you'll definitely hurt me."

"Y/N." Tomioka called you by your first name and suddenly had the courage to hold your hand.

"Are you serious, Y/N?"

You didn't speak but just leaned in to kiss your PE professor, which certainly caught him off-guard. But then he pulled out his eyes, now drunk with passion, and caressed your face. "What should we do?" He asked as if he were a lost child, even if he was older than you.

"Hide this? No one needs to know Tomioka-sensei."

"Wouldn't you tell this to your friends? What if you're just pranking me?"

"I would never do that." You said this while holding his hand and letting him feel your rhythmic heart through your clothing. When Tomioka put his hand on your chest, he flushed a little bit, but he was relieved to feel the same rhythm coming from both of your hearts.

--

Nothing had changed between you and Giyu at school. Of course, nothing should change, or else everything will be obvious. But when the classes are over, he will try his best to show you how sweet he is. And when we say sweet and classes are over, it's outside school, as he will die first before making a move on you while also being at his job.

Ironic, isn't it?

Now, you were with him as both of you decided to spend the weekend at his house near a river. Giyu was shy when he first asked you out, but eventually, here you are, cuddling up with your PE professor, a.k.a., boyfriend.

Except for kisses, Giyu has not yet made a move on you. A part of him still can't believe that he's having a secret relationship with his student, despite how obedient he is to the rules.

You were cuddling with him, making the most of every second. As you know, on Monday, he'll be your professor, and you'll just be his student again, at least in class. You felt a sensation when you felt Giyu's hand slide down onto your waist. But the man thought that you were uncomfortable, so he pulled his hand away.

"Sorry."

"Why? I want your touch."

Touch? He was surprised by what you said. You repeated it as you sat over his lap, facing him. "Touch me, Giyu." The sudden emotion that had taken over you shocked even you. But then, with that, Giyu suddenly smashed his lips against yours, kissing you hungrily. His hands went inside your shirt, and each touch made you whimper in pleasure.

Giyu pulled out and told you to turn your back on him, so you did. A part of him is shy about what he is doing, but he can't just stop himself, so he'll just prefer you looking away instead. His hands suddenly caressed your thighs, lifting your skirt in the process. You felt him getting hard beneath you, which definitely made your dam break.

He rested his chin on the crook of your neck and whispered in your ear with a low, sexy voice. "Do you want more?"

"Mmm yes, Giyu." You said, moaning as his hands slowly stroked your clothed cunt.

"So wet for me, Y/N. You want this?"

"Yes Giyu~ Ahhh~"

"You want to do risky things, right? You've been a very naughty girl. I'm gonna teach you something better than PE." He suddenly lifted you and bent you over by the table. His left hand caressed your breast while he used his right hand to take off your underwear and his pants.

Tomioka spanked you, which definitely made you moan loudly. He chuckled and went near your ear again, grinding his hot, hard cock on your ass.

Hands grasping the table, you moved your hips, wanting him to be inside of you. "Giyu... I-I've never let anyone touch me this... ah~ way since I fell in love with... you." Giyu chuckled and kissed you behind your ear. "Good girl. Let me reward you then."

You felt him line his cock on your entrance, and finally, with mixed pleasure and pain, he managed to enter you, making you scream in passion. "Ahh~ You're so tight. Is this your first time?" He whispered again, and you nodded with tears welling up in your eyes.

"Don't worry, baby, it'll be better. I'll be gentle."

For someone who seemed cold at the university, Giyu was definitely sweet and caring behind closed doors. He slowly thrust himself into you, both of you moaning in pleasure. As he stated, after a few more slides into and out of your tight cunt, it felt great.

Giyu wrapped his arms around your waist, and slowly his thrusts became faster. You grabbed both sides of the table as he gave you a vigorous fuck. Your head was spinning in satisfaction with his motions.

He's your PE professor, and no wonder how graceful the bucking of his hips felt. The slapping of your skin, mixed with your lewd sounds, made you so wet that it dripped down on your leg as Giyu hit your g-spot repeatedly. "Yes! Yes there!"

But then the man suddenly stopped and turned you to face him. You saw how dark his eyes were with lust, and you loved it. He laid you down on the table and ravaged your lips with his hungry kisses as he ripped your shirt, revealing your wonderful tits to him. He kissed them down as he once again aligned his hard cock on your pussy.

He didn't go slow this time. With his nails digging into your waist, Giyu went in and out of you as if there was no tomorrow. You never expected that the decent, by-the-book professor would be this wild in bed, and that turned you on so much that you just wanted to cum.

And yes, as Giyu's lustful eyes watched you and your breast jiggled with each of his movements, you suddenly felt tingles all over your body, especially on the pit of your stomach. "Uh...haah~ Giyu! I'm going cum!"

That made Giyu smirk, and with his right thumb, he rubbed your clit as he fucked you harder, making you almost pass out from the overstimulation. You loved it. You felt like you were in heaven as you reached your first orgasm. Your eyes rolled, and you moaned so hard as you squirted against his cock. But yes, Giyu didn't stop fucking you.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful!" He muttered between his moans.

Suddenly he felt like he was about to cum too, and so he smashed his lips against yours, and his movements went faster and harder than you could imagine. You were literally moaning in his mouth as your first orgasm came. Then, now, you can already feel your second orgasm after just a minute of having your first one.

"Fuck baby, I can't take it anymore!" Giyu said, and finally, with a final thrust, both of you came, his warmth filling your already dripping cunt to the brim.

Giyu planted sloppy kisses on your lips, which you returned, causing him to hum with contentment. Without pulling out, he carried you to the bedroom and laid you on the bed.

There, he finally pulled out but still wrapped his arms around you. "You'll never know how I tried my best to stop myself from making love to you at the uni."

"Me too, Tomioka-sensei."

"Hey, I told you not to call me that when it's just us." He pouted, but then you kissed his nose. "Giyu, my Giyu." Tomioka caressed your cheek and kissed you once again. "Did you plan all of this to happen?" he asked innocently, making you chuckle.

"What I planned was just to get your attention. But I've got something better, I guess." You said that, kissing his cheek. Giyu stared into your eyes and smiled. "You know, I never wanted to feel this way towards you before, but you convinced me to still do it anyway."

"And how did I do that?"

"By trying your best this time and not being the idiot you were before in high school."

You wanted to tease him more, but you just rested your head on his chest. "I just always wanted to get your attention. I love you, Giyu."

"I love you too." He muttered in a sleepy tone as he embraced you tight. Both of you are wishing this weekend wouldn't ever end.

--

𝑨𝒂𝒂𝒌𝒌! 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒊𝒕~

I enjoyed writing this that it took me THREE EFFIN DAYS XD But yeah, that was hot! 🥵 Giyu breaking his by-the-book attitude is so cute XD Risqueee babyyy hahaha!

Anyways, OF COURSE! The most awaited Sanemi chapter will be next and I can't wait for it as well hahaha!

Reblogs, Comments, and Requests are highly appreciated! Love you!

MDNI!

Ja ne~

~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 𝐈𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

[thebuddiearchives]

BUDDIE FIC RECS ✴ HOSTAGE SITUATION ✴ VOL. 1

Fic recs centered around season 5 episode 6, Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1.

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all this time i didn't know(you were breaking down) by BooyahFordhamYacht Oneshot || Teen || 3873

buck does not handle the prison riots well at all. eddie gets really mad and then really worried, in that order.

alt;

Eddie thinks it started with the ambulance, or the gun.

But then Nolan’s mom comes out, and Nolan’s going to be okay, and Eddie can breathe again, kind of, and all he can think is 'Christopher,' so he leaves. He walks out and tries to imagine that he and Buck are fine, and it doesn’t work, and he tries not to care about that.

It doesn’t work.

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caught up in the war inside by farfromthstars // @doeeyeseddie Oneshot || General || 2561

Buck shoots him a nervous look before focusing on the road again. “You said you didn’t want a ready-made family. I didn’t wanna overstep.” For a few seconds, Eddie just stares at him before he blurts out, “I didn’t mean you.”

~

coda to 5x06, in which eddie strikes one thing off the list of Things He and Buck Don't Talk About

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follow me home (how could i ever leave without you?) by buckleyseddie // @buckleyseddie Oneshot || Teen || 6517

There’s a short silence and then, “I’m gonna go see mine,” Eddie says. 

Buck tries not to let his face fall. Savanna’s son is okay, there’s no reason for them to stay here any longer so of course Eddie wants to head home to see his kid.

The thing is, Buck wants nothing more than to go with him.

He wants to keep Eddie in his line of sight and he wants to make sure Christopher’s okay, but he can’t bring himself to call out to Eddie, to ask him if it would be okay if Buck came over today. He doesn’t want to impose, but he also really doesn’t want to go home alone.

Maybe if he lingers long enough Athena and Bobby will invite him over, maybe Ravi will let Buck buy him breakfast.

Before he can test that theory though, Eddie looks over his shoulder at him and asks, “you coming, Buck?” *** or in the aftermath of the hostage situation, Buck goes home with Eddie

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gathered up your things and slipped away (no time at all, i followed you) by zashizawa Oneshot || Not Rated || 1115

The gunshot goes off, and instantly, Buck is standing in the middle of the street with blood on his face, staining his clothes, in his mouth, everywhere.

(Or, post s05e06, Buck needs to see Eddie and Chris.)

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Half of my heart has always been yours by justhockey // @everything-i-am Oneshot || Not Rated || 2509

It felt like Buck’s soul got ripped in half when he heard that gunshot crack through the air. For the length of a heartbeat everything was frozen in one agonising, unbearable moment.

And then Buck was running - chest heaving and legs as heavy as lead - to get to Eddie.

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I don't feel it till it hurts by bigfootsmom // @bigfootsmom Oneshot || General || 5796

Where Buck is not as okay after being pistol-whipped as he appears and Eddie is not okay in general.

If Buck were here he would tell Eddie that everything is alright and Eddie wouldn’t believe him, but he would be able to pretend for a while.

Eddie wants to see Buck. But it feels like invading Buck’s space with Taylor to just drive over to the loft. Even though it’s what his heart aches to do, Eddie holds himself back. Buck is with his girlfriend. He doesn’t need Eddie showing up and fussing over him.

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I think that I should probably tell you this In case there is an accident by Pan_Cake_Cats // @dorkydiaz Multichapter || Teen || 2688

But he didn’t have to do that. Eddie is…..fine. And Chris doesn’t need him. So why are his fingers burning as they itch to type out a message to Eddie. What would he even say? The phone drops from his hands and clatters to the table as he resigns himself to the fact that he should sleep. He puts on the tv as soft background noise and just stares up at the ceiling for hours. But he can't help but feel guilty. Guilty that to feel calm, to feel right again, he needs to see Christopher. Who is not his son. Eventually he does fall into a restless sleep. He wakes in the late afternoon to the klinking of keys and Eddie’s warm voice cutting through the sterile stillness of the loft.

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if you don't know me by now by ColorMeParanoid // @color-me-paranoid Oneshot || Teen || 2699

They’d just returned from a call and were lounging around after lunch, taking advantage of a calm moment between calls while they still could when Ravi changed the channel and said, “Hey, Buck. Isn’t that your girlfriend?”

“I didn’t know she was covering the prison riot,” Eddie said and Buck found himself frowning.

“That’s because she’s not.” Or, at least, she wasn’t the last time he saw her.

“Are you sure about that?” Hen said, glowering at the TV. “Because it looks like she found herself a perfect story.”

Or, the one in which Taylor crosses the line and the inevitable breakup follows

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isn’t it just so pretty to think by spiritsontheroof Oneshot || General || 11232

Buck feels like his whole life is a waiting game now. Waiting for whatever is going on with Eddie to come to a head or work itself out, waiting for his sister to come home, waiting for being with Taylor to feel right. Sitting, waiting, wishing.

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Jump by goodiecornbread Oneshot || Teen || 4719

Buck is fine, okay?

It's just that, after Eddie almost dies again, he gets a little jumpy. That's all. He's fine.

–––

Buck dealing with some things after the ambulance jacking.

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a little less war torn by renecdote // @renecdote Oneshot || Teen || 5647

“I gotta be honest,” Eddie says quietly, “you’re not really reassuring me here, Buck.”

Buck bites his lip hard. He can’t tell the truth. He can’t. Christopher is here, and Eddie will probably leave, and then he’ll be alone again, again, again. Tears blur his eyes and he blinks quickly, trying to hold them at bay.

“Hey.” Hand on Buck’s shoulder now, squeezing just a little too tight. “I’m serious—do I need to take you to a hospital right now?”

Set right after 5x06 ends. In which Buck is all kinds of not okay but Eddie helps.

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Misplaced aggression by basicallyiwriteshit Multichapter || General || 7961

Eddie's been having a lot of feelings about how closely ingrained into his and Christopher's lives. His brain can't decide if that's good or bad, even though his heart's seemingly made the decision, and he snaps.

Evan knows he should take a step back. Let Eddie have time with his family, and quit being such a present part of his and Chris's day-to-day lives. He didn't expect Eddie to yell at him about it, though.

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nowhere we can go with nothing underneath by alasse Oneshot || Teen || 3401

Set immediately post 5.06. Taylor takes the bare bones of what Buck shared with her and starts digging, until she comes up with a pretty good guess at the truth of the riot and the transplant, which she wants to turn into a feature. The choice sets her on a collision path with Eddie—and with Buck.

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when the world crumbles (bring me home) by tawaifeddiediaz // @aashiqeddiediaz Oneshot || Teen || 2905

He regrets not following Eddie quick enough.

Or, the one where Buck and Eddie talk and cry it out

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Wish we could cut all ties with the morning light by Mellaithwen // @mellaithwen Oneshot || Teen || 2506

“You ever think that maybe I might be doing this for me too?” Eddie asks.

Buck looks a little broken at that, the way his face seems to almost collapse in on itself, and the breath he lets out is shaky and a little surprised. But it’s true. Eddie needs this. He needs to convince himself that he’s safe, that Buck’s safe, that Christopher’s safe. He needs the quiet ministrations to calm him down—he needs to slip into the familiar motions of giving care until his heart rate slows and finally the last of the adrenaline can ebb away.

He lets his thumb brush at Buck’s cheek, his hand still cradling his jaw. The moment seems to stretch and breathe and they stay there for a while, tethered by touch, until finally Buck gives a little nod of acceptance as he lets Eddie continue with his work. . While they wait for news at the hospital, Eddie tends to Buck's head wound.

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you showed up just in time by lecornergirl // @clusterbuck Oneshot || General || 1445

can i come over, typed out quickly and sent before he has time to overthink it. He wouldn’t even ask, not normally, but nothing about the past twenty-four hours has been normal.

Eddie texts back almost immediately. No.

Buck’s blood runs cold, horror settling like lead in his veins, and his heart feels like it’s trying to climb up his throat and leave his body as he tries to figure out what he could have done to piss Eddie off. Eddie had seemed fine in the hospital waiting room—if tired, as worn out and frayed as the rest of them, but—

A key turns in his door and Eddie walks in, Christopher in tow.

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[gogoconvstore]

Honeycrash (Logan Sargeant x GN! Reader)

LOGAN SARGEANT ANGST AFTER LAST NIGHTS NEWS

NOW PLAYING: SASAMI - HONEYCRASH

WC: 508

Honestly, you knew it was a big possibility, you had always tried to calm down Logan and lie to him that it wasn’t gonna happen, it hurt you to lie but it’s all you could do. Even though you knew it was a possibility you hadn’t expected this. You expected him to not get resigned, and he did too but get thrown out midseason? You were pissed, and shocked. You were really mad at Vowles, probably madder than Logan was. Logan had been out with his friends so he hadn’t seen the official announcement yet. If you could even call it ‘official’, announcing him leaving after announcing his replacement for a second time had you burning up. The only thing that was possibly worse? The comments. So many people were saying it was deserved and he was a piece of shit and how nobody liked him. You were angry, if you could fight every single one of them you would. You didn’t know what Logan would do, he’d gone straight to the club from the race with his friends so you hadn’t seen him yet, and you didn’t think he’d be home anytime soon. If you had to guess he’d get back home and be hammered. At least that’s what you had thought until you heard the door open, and someone sobbing and coughing.

“Logey?” You called out to him as he entered your shared hotel room. When you called out you heard him stop crying, sniffling, and moving which confused you. You sat up trying to look at him through the darkness of the room.

“Y-you weren’t supposed to be here! You weren’t supposed to be in bed! I was supposed to be alone!” Logan yelled, starting to sob loudly again. You were completely bewildered, and before you knew it Logan had crashed into the bed with you. He was shaking, alot, in fact Logan was vibrating like a Temu rose toy as he gripped onto you, lying on top of the hotel bed covers.

“Did you see what they said? Is it true? Am I the worst? Did I deserve this?” He begged for some type of comfort from you as he grabbed onto you even tighter, his shaking was interrupted by a lightning strike outside which made him whimper and his face in your chest.

“Look at me Logan. Of course it is not true Logan! You’re not the worst and you did NOT deserve this! Williams is a piece of shit!” You said, grabbing Logan’s soft face so he would look at you. His tears started to subside and he chuckled.

“Your hands are really soft,” he whispered out, causing you to also giggle. You went to say something back but he was already asleep.

“I love you Logan, I’m so sorry people can’t love you the same way I do. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me,” You whispered, realizing he wasn’t asleep when you saw him blush wildly. You decided to not bring it up and just let him rest.

[inbarfink]

Goddam, just seeing Simon in these last two episodes is really flooding me with so many conflicting emotions.

Because, on the one hand, after his lowest point in Episode 4 - resigning himself to death in the hands of the Scarab - he’s clearly finally doing better. Just look at him making plans

And showing off his smarts

And finally genuinely smiling and feeling happy

And being so glad to meet the alt versions of his friends

And getting excited about his nerdy shit for the first time in glob-knows-how-long

And cracking goofy geeky jokes

And offering others the same grace and kindness he was given when he was trapped under the curse of the Magic Crown

And trying to be comforting and fatherly and give Fionna advice and cheer her up

He’s so clearly doing a lot better now, he’s rediscovering aspects of himself that his depression has torn away from him, he found a meaning and purpose in his life again. And it should warm my heart, and on some level it does....

But it also sends a chill down my spine knowing that this purpose that brought back the light into Simon’s eyes, the purpose he finally found is sacrificing his mind and identity again for the sake of Fionna’s happiness and her world.

He’s throwing himself right back into the miserable existence and the trauma he tries so hard to move forward from. He’s dooming himself because he honestly believes now that he’s always going to be miserable and lonely and fucked up so he might as well have be the kind of miserable and fucked up that is not lucid enough to know how miserable he is all of the time. The kind of misery that at least fits into his world.

Because he started to romanticize being the Ice King in a twisted kinda way, and now he has found the excuse to turn it into a selfless, noble act. Because the only way he feels like he’s useful and like he has worth is by protecting and helping and sacrificing himself for the sake of others.

(And like, especially in light of how he was trying to resign himself to death just moments before coming up with his plan. Not to get extremely dark, but.... suicidal people often seem to ‘get better’ just before the try to kill themselves. Because they feel like they’re finally ‘doing something’ and their misery is almost over. That kinda feels what Simon is going through right now? Becoming the Ice King again is not literally death, but it is a sort of death for Simon Petrikov’s identity.)

And this new sense of purpose in saving Fionnaworld by dooming himself is clearly blinding Simon to so many obviously telegraphed signs that this is a horrible idea.

He saw hints of just how badly Farmworld Finn has been dealing with his own Magic Crown Related Trauma

and maybe if things would’ve been different this could’ve been something they could have commiserated over. Simon could’ve had someone who understood a bit of what he has gone through, and seeing a version of Finn, of all people, face similar struggles - maybe could’ve helped him feel a little less Uniquely and Irredeemably Fucked Up. (For bonus points, they're ALSO both dealing with the grief of losing their Significant Other)

But his newfound obsession that Everything Will Be Better Once He’s Cursed again was making him totally ignore all of this.

And then there’s their little adventure in the Winter Kingdom. Which had both the Candy Queen/Princess Bubblegum as a perfect reminder of the suffering and pain involved in being trapped in the Madness of the Magic Crown

And the Winter King as a reminder of the harmful and twisted things he was capable of doing as the Ice King.

But instead he basically refused to learn any lesson from that Universe that’s not just ‘Fuck That Version of Me Specifically’ and tried to advice Fionna to do the same.

But well, while I am still worried about Simon’s mental state, his improved disposition does give me a little bit of hope. Hope that maybe he himself will notice that he is doing better and won’t be quite so eager to sacrifice his own sanity. Or maybe more likely, hope that now that he’s not just a miserable sadman screaming at their faces

Fionna and Cake are growing to appreciate Simon Petrikov for who he is and will simply refuse to let him sacrifice himself for their sake. Because, yeah, Simon tried to tell Fionna to not worry about all of that Winter Kingdom stuff, that it was just that Simon was ‘messed up’ - but since when does Fionna Campbell do what she’s told?

[aihoshiino]

chapter 153 thoughts

Heads up, this chapter review contains canon typical discussions of abuse, CSA and suicidal ideation.

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: Ten! TEN chapters since the 143 kiss happened and went entirely unacknowledged and unaddressed! Ah hah hah! [<- read this in count von count's voice]

Aqua Hoshigan Status: (Still) white

LET'S

FUCKING

GO

After like 140 chapters and an RPF jumpscare, we finally get a continuation of 152's impromptu father-son therapy session and start digging into the real deal no bullshit Kamiki Hikaru's brain and his relationship with Ai. A lot of the stuff laid out here are things that I had personally speculated about in prior posts and it once again feels really satisfying to see that I've been keyed into what the series has been laying out for its characters now we're getting some answers.

Before digging into the meat of things, the usual shout out to Mengo's art for this chapter. I am repeating myself on this point to the extent that I say "i know I say mengo's art is really good every chapter, but" every chapter but holy fuck, dawg. The expression work, especially on Kamiki and Airi is so fucking good and the way it contrasts the movie's portrayal of those events is insanely effective. I am Once Again begging the universe to conspire events such that Mengo draws a horror manga someday pleeeeeease I have been so good

kamiki's production house being called EYES is so on the nose it looped back to being genuinely hilarious to me.

Honestly this chapter is soooooo hard to talk about w/o me wanting to just break down every single line of dialogue in it and I already know i'm gonna go sicko mode talking about the flashback so I'll broad strokes it for now. What I WILL say is that Hikaru fucking quoting the opening monologue of the series got me right in the gut. These last two chapters have been really laying it on thick with the volume 1 callbacks and while this too is ridiculously on the nose it did make me start barking like a fucking dog so who's to say if it's really good or bad.

Hikaru's POV here in general is just fascinating. It's so juicy finally getting some insight into his weird little brain right from the man himself. The way he's characterized here - or rather, the way Hikaru chooses to characterize himself - is extremely compelling. He seems resigned and weary, almost - surrendering himself to the role of the despicable villain with a sort of wry self-awareness that got a bit of a dark chuckle out of me.

What's most interesting though is the final exchange between the two of them. Hikaru dismissing the idea that Ai ever loved him is understandable but what really jumped out to me was Aqua's respose to this - he honestly seems like… not just confused but almost mad that Hikaru supposedly still doesn't understand Ai's true feelings.

also. can i just say. i earnestly and genuinely thought the DVDs had been completely forgotten and were never going to come back up. what a jumpscare.

real bold of aqua to say this is nonfiction after the whole rpf debacle btw

We transition at last into an actual honest to god flashback to his past from Hikaru's actual POV, the likes of which I didn't think we'd ever get lol. I take Hikaru's lack of quibbles with his portrayal in the movie and that the flashback begins at Airi and Uehara's funeral as an indication from the story that 15YL's portrayal of Hikaru and those events is true enough that it doesn't need to relitigate them and thus, we can analyze this flashback with those events as context.

Something I couldn't help but notice immediately is that Hikaru's hoshigans start off as white this chapter. Given the future/hope (white) futurelessness/despair (black) dichotomy the last handful of chapters seem to have cemented, I think this makes a lot of sense in representing that while Hikaru is certainly not over his trauma, he seems able to conceptualize a future for himself now that he isn't bound to Airi; he has escaped her grasp. Or so he's able to believe, for a moment.

God, Hikaru's little meltdown once he spots Taiki is so heartbreaking. Kindaichi obviously means well, but his words must have sounded like a horrifying curse to Hikaru - the idea that for the rest of his life, he would never escape what Airi did to him.

hikaru begging ai to save him is soooooooo…… augugugugugh. this is all in line with what i'd predicted for their relationship but seeing it actually on page is such a gut punch. I just feel so fucking sorry for both these kids - both of them so desperately hurt and trying to heal and struggling in their own ways.

Because like… man! Not to be like "this rape victim's trauma is so hard for this other person to deal with" but… yeah, I'm really glad that even in just the framing, OnK makes it clear what a tremendous weight and pressure this is on Ai. I've talked before about the potential for her need to love and be loved to lead her into unhealthy and codependent dynamics and I think the HKAI relationship (as seen from Hikaru's POV) is exactly the sort of thing I was imagining.

With that in mind, even though we haven't seen her side of the story (YET……. IF WE GET AI POV NEXT WEEK AUUUUAUAU CAN YOU EVE N IMAGINE), it's not hard for me to imagine why Ai might have needed to withdraw. Because the sort of love Hikaru wants from her - something utterly all consuming, all encompassing, a world containing only two people and shutting out everything else - is not something she can or wants to provide. She's too full of compassionate curiosity for other people to give her love exclusively to one person alone… especially if a certain two troublemaking twins are already in the mix.

Admittedly this is as far as I can go in my analysis of this bit until we actually see how the breakup as a whole went down because I am admittedly still very confused as to the timeline here lol. The impression I'd always gotten was that Ai and Hikaru broke up before the twins were born, but the pacing of the flashback places it after Airi died, which we know wasn't super long before the Dome concert but I feel like Hikaru looks way too fucking young to be like a 17-19yo person here…. so who even knows. Hopefully we'll get some clarification next chapter. In ether case, I do think the twins threw a wrench into the HKAI relationship one way or another so I guess we'll see.

The fact that we're actually getting the real deal HKAI breakup happening on-panel also makes me feel a bit less insane about the Movie Arc skipping over that in recording (though I still ain't ever gonna forgive not focusing on how everyone felt about filming Ai's death even when we do see the final product). That said, I do still have issues with it that I talked about in an ask just the other day so I'll just repeat what I said: "Not only is [the HKAI breakup and the 'I can't love you'] line given a huge amount of weight, so is the fact that Aqua and Ruby had seemingly misinterpreted or even actively twisted it. If that’s the case then I’d say it’s even MORE important for us to have seen what 15YL’s version of events looked like so the contrast with the real thing can hit all the harder."

We already saw that with this chapter having a page very strongly echoing a similar one from the Movie Arc, a direct representation of the real version of events the movie fictionalized and it hits like a truck. I mentioned it up top but fuck, man. Hikaru and Airi's faces here are incredible. Hikaru's blank, innocent expression contrasted with that vile grin on Airi's face with her hair splayed everywhere… if Frill's portrayal of her was like a snake, the real thing made me think of some kind of spider.

That same page also seems to imply that Hikaru didn't only suffer abuse under Airi but may have suffered CSA prior to meeting her that caused him to become hypersexual. This is, unfortunately, in line with the way a lot of CSA victims will cope with their abuse and it really surprised me to see this aspect of it portrayed the way it was with Hikaru - already an exceptionally rare sympathetic and tasteful portrayal of a male CSA victim's experiences in manga. I've said over and over that I'm really impressed with how OnK is handling this aspect of the story but it really does continue to catch me by surprise.

Hikaru only ever to hear 'I love you' as a lie, while Ai can only ever say it as a lie… ouuughhh that's juicy.

Moving on a bit, the Ruby/Hikaru parallels are still going strong… Hikaru's insistence that so long as he has Ai he can endure anything very strongly echoes Ruby's speech in 143 about how if she has Gorou, her oshi, then that's all she needs. This means Aqua/Ai parallel stonks are on the rise which makes me very happy. I also hope this is a lead in to more directly addressing something that has been quiet subtext for a while - how destructive the pressure of being someone's singular saviour can be and how unhealthy this dynamic is, even for the person being saved. The idea that isolation and a lacking support system causes dysfunction is something we see sort of gestured at across the series so I'd love to see OnK explore codependency more explicitly through this angle, too.

No break next week…! Going by the editor's note in the JP version of the chapter, it looks like we'll be continuing this flashback and getting some of Ai's perspective so I'm really looking forward to it. After what a slog to keep up with the Movie Arc turned into, it feels sooooo fucking refreshing to be getting material I feel excited and energized to chew on. It sure did take until the last arc to explore some of this though, huh………..

hey ai. why did you break up with your boyfriend while you were brushingyour teeth. are you okay.

[cajon-desastre]

Hola Carmen, me encantan tus citas y los GIFs que las acompañan, suelen ir a la par del tema del día pero me gustaría conocer tu opinión acerca de todo este lío si no te importa comentarlo. Asumo que igual no te sientes cómoda con mi petición así que si consideras oportuno no contestarme lo entenderé.

Siempre me has parecido muy sincera y equilibrada en tus comentarios, un beso guapa.

Hello Carmen, I love your quotes and the GIFs that accompany them, they usually go along with the topic of the day but I would like to know your opinion about this whole mess if you don't mind commenting on it. I assume that you may not feel comfortable with my request, so if you consider it appropriate not to answer me, I will understand. You have always seemed very sincere and balanced in your comments, a kiss pretty.

-------

Hi Anon, thank you for your kind words 🥰

I don't mind commenting, what happens is that I don't usually give much air to these things because what is sought, precisely, is to give them visibility and increase the drama, something that I don't usually lend myself to, only just enough when there are things that are too obvious which you can see here and here.

But you asked me for an opinion and this is what I can give you:

Disappointment and frustration would be the first words.

Ridiculous and hasty the second.

Disaster and control damage the third.

As a fan, it is not the way I would like for people I like to follow and support, but it is something that is not going to affect my life any more than the time I can dedicate to creating content or reading other bloggers. I understand that people may be very upset by the latest events and I see that, above all, they are recent fans, or those who have been there for a short time, for the most part.

I don't know, maybe I've been here for many years and I've seen everything. I am vaccinated against this nonsense that becomes cyclical and that is always a consequence of some previous event that is usually related to the shipper side and the image that is wanted to be transmitted to the general public, not to the fandom that is attentive to any movement or fact.

I have always wanted my attitude to be Zen, trying to take what happens on this side of the fence with resignation and humor. It's also because I try to compartmentalize what the fandom is and what the series and the books are. Enjoying the only thing that is stable within this madness despite Starz's mismanagement.

I could summarize that the situation is more of the same and I do not rule out that, when this situation passes, we will encounter new shenanigans. They seem to be one-tricks, and as long as it works, that's what we'll continue to see.

I also recommend that you read @outlanderskin in this post. Her thoughts are very similar to mine right now.

Thanks for the appreciation and I hope that Google translation makes this understandable 😘

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Hola Anon, gracias por tus amables palabras 🥰 No me importa comentar, lo que pasa es que no suelo darle mucho aire a estas cosas porque lo que se busca, precisamente, es darles visibilidad y aumentar el dramatismo, algo a lo que no suelo prestarme. Sólo lo suficiente cuando hay cosas demasiado obvias que puedes ver aquí y aquí. Pero me pediste opinión y esto es lo que puedo darte: Decepción y frustración serían las primeras palabras. Ridículo y precipitado el segundo. Desastre y control de daños el tercero. Como fan, no es la forma en que me gustaría que las personas a las que me gusta seguir y apoyar, pero es algo que no va a afectar mi vida más que el tiempo que puedo dedicar a crear contenido o leer a otros bloggers. Entiendo que la gente pueda estar muy molesta por los últimos acontecimientos y veo que, sobre todo, son fans recientes, o que llevan poco tiempo, en su mayoría. No lo sé, tal vez llevo muchos años aquí y lo he visto todo. Estoy vacunado contra este despropósito que se vuelve cíclico y que siempre es consecuencia de algún evento previo que suele estar relacionado con el lado shipper y la imagen que se quiere transmitir al público en general, no al fandom que está atento a cualquier movimiento o hecho. Siempre he querido que mi actitud sea zen, intentando tomarme lo que pasa de este lado de la valla con resignación y humor. También es porque trato de compartimentar qué es el fandom y qué son las series y los libros. Disfrutando de lo único que hay estable dentro de esta locura a pesar de la mala gestión de Starz. Podría resumir que la situación es más de lo mismo y no descarto que, cuando esta situación pase, nos encontremos con nuevas travesuras. Parecen ser de un solo truco, y mientras funcionen, eso es lo que seguiremos viendo. También te recomiendo que leas a @outlanderskin en este post. Sus pensamientos son muy similares a los míos en este momento.

Gracias por el aprecio y espero que la traducción de Google haga esto comprensible 😘

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Take Me To The Sun (Part 4)

Ok it came earlier I couldn't stop... lol

-K xoxo

Part 3 Here

Shutting me out isn’t the answer, flare. Rathnait snarls in my mind. I know she’s furious, hating to be shutout from me, but I also know she was more scared than anything. If I can’t reach your during moments of distress, how can I help you?

Sometimes I don’t want help, Ray. Sometimes I just have to feel it. Folding the rest of my clothes and putting away what few belongings I do have, I’m able to rest for a moment on the bed. The wooden figurine of Rathnait sits on the window, all I can do is watch it. 

Liam was so sweet. Eager to please, eager to excel - and training him was something that I actually found fun. He was the little brother I never had. Someone who could bring me back down from the emotional highs, someone who made me laugh when all Xaden and Garrick wanted to do was be serious. When he made the figurine of my dragon, Rathnait herself chuffed in amusement at how endearing she found Liam. He was just so filled with light that this hellhole had to swallow it up and take it away. It wasn’t fair. 

A knock echoes throughout the empty room. Already knowing what is to come, I steel myself for the inevitable emotional onslaught. Adjusting my new officer flight leathers, I wave my finger to open the door, staying close to the window. 

Both Garrick and Xaden are dressed in their new flight leathers as well. A pack and sleeping pad hitched over their shoulders. Remorse written all over their faces I don’t even have to use my signet for that. 

“Is it ok if we talk in here?” Xaden asks. Yelling from the graduated cadets echo throughout the halls, cheering and chatter are everywhere tonight. 

No words need to be said, but I also can’t just leave. With a raised brow I watch as they make their way into my old room, shutting the door. Xaden sighs as he slides against the door and sits on the floor, legs outstretched. It’s the least put together I’ve seen from him. Garrick sits on the bed, glancing at the wooden figurine with a wavering smile before glancing at me. I don’t make a move to sit by him, my arms cross as I lean against the window bay. No one says a word. The friendship the three of us had, seems like it teeters on the edge of the cliff. 

“I thought you were all dead. That all I had left was the memory of disagreeing with Garrick before War Games and watching my Wingleader not spare me a second glance as he makes his squad when I was meant to be a section leader as well.” Bland words escape me, trying to say something other than the yelling that I want to dish out to them. “And knowing I didn’t even get to see Liam before he -“ I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ve never asked, Xaden. I’ve never demanded Garrick tell me when I could easily hold it against him as someone he supposedly cared a lot about-“

“Care.” Garrick interrupts. Leaving no room for argument. “I care a lot about you, sweetheart. More than that. Don’t blame Xaden when I am just as much a part of this as he is. Be mad at me too.” His hazel eyes blaze with a fight I know he’s aching for. But the outcome might not be what he’s hoping for. Not when there is a duty station that’s my death sentence. 

“You don’t think I’m mad at you too? Tavis, I am furious. I am heartbroken. I was resigned to a life without you, and now?” Gasping for air, I pound my chest for some sort of relief from the tightness I feel. Garrick is quick to try and help me but I raise my hand, ordering him wordlessly to stay put. 

“There are a lot of things I regret,” Xaden rasps, “You helped me, confided in me - and I didn’t do the same thing to you.” 

“I looked to you as my leader, Xaden. Someone I believed in without knowing the full extent of what was happening. Looking past the relics, looking past the history. I was ready to go to fight alongside the two of you if you had told me to,” I whisper, watching the full realization of my declaration - the understanding, make it’s way across their expressions, their emotions. Xaden rakes his fingers through his hair, clutching it almost painfully. Garrick staggers slightly, holding himself up my clutching the bed post. “And now? It’s too late. I have my duty station. Basgaith is done. My journey here is done.” 

I brush my signet along their emotional tethers, unable to break the habit of comforting them ever so slightly. Understanding that the two of them lost their brother, lost people that were a part of them. Garrick lets out a shaky laugh as he feels the familiar sensation of soothingness. 

“It was never because I didn’t trust you.” Xaden looks at my with a resolve I don’t understand. He gets up slowly, standing tall. “If anything it was because I didn’t want to chance losing someone else we all cared about to. We lost Liam and Soleil too easily. I lost them. I’m the one who is responsible for them all.” 

Truth. Feeling his honesty. Feeling his belief. 

“Flare, if were to lose someone like you, too? You’re glue, you’re binding. You’re a bridge. The same way that Violet is. I took a chance and made a mistake and I’ll never be able to earn that trust back. But look into my tether and now that I’m so fucking sorry. That I fucked up.” Xaden pleads, “And selfishly I was looking out for my brother, knowing that if he lost you? There was nothing in this world that would bring him back.” His voice cracks as he looks over at Garrick, a hand on his broad shoulders. “I’d rather you be alive and hate me, whereas dead and I lose the two of you in the process.” 

A shudder makes it’s way past my lips, tears trailing down my cheeks. I felt exhausted, I felt confused and scared and so many other things and all because we we’re so fucking human it seemed like despite my signet, despite my bond with a dragon - I was still so susceptible to human experiences and emotions. 

“I’m being assigned to Samara,” I tell them, not being able to dance around that ay longer. Both of them look at me with wide bloodshot eyes. 

“Say that again?” Garrick demands, making his way towards me. 

“Samara is my new duty station?” Confused as to their reactions. “I was assigned my station before the official formation. It’s a death sentence, one they thought they could give me since they thought you were dead and I was a loose end towards command.” Garrick and Xaden smile, both blinding and perfect. Garrick for the first time in what seems like ages, swoops me into his arms, clutching me tightly as he cradles the nape of my neck. He shakes in my hold, as if whatever energy he feels is suddenly contained in  his body. 

“We’ve been assigned there as well, we didn’t get to chose our station. I guess they forgot that they had put you there too,” Xaden laughs, watching the disbelief as I realize what this means. 

“You’re gonna be with me?” I whimper towards Garrick, burrowing my face into the crook of his neck feeling the tidal wave of emotions of all three of us. 

“Never leaving you, sweetheart.” He laughs again, rubbing his hands along my back, clutching my hair, doing anything he can to just touch me. It’s been ages since we’ve been near each other like this. I can feel Rathnait chuff in the back of my mind, her also understanding that she gets Chradh with her as well. 

“We get a second chance,” Xaden grins, although I know he means it more towards himself. 

“If by second chance you mean I get to be in, full in. Than yes,” I demand, untangling myself from Garrick, although not being able to let go of his hand, not that I really want to. He squeezes it tightly, already answering the question. 

“You’re in, flare. However much you want to be involved in. Garrick and I will tell you everything, and from there -“ He nervously wavers, “From there you can fully decide what it is you want to do. There is no one else I’d rather station and fight alongside with than with you two.” 

Open my arms, he rolls his eyes playfully - ever the grump. Garrick and I pull Xaden into our arms, clutching each other tightly with relief. We weren't gonna go through death alone, we weren’t gonna suffer alone. Samara was meant to be our death sentence but maybe, just maybe - it wouldn’t be so bad.

[rius-cave]

I know Lucifer wouldn't be jealous if Eve came back and wanted to be friends with Adam.

But what if she wanted Adam back as her husband? They did love each other and had a butt load of kids together.

I feel she would use their "family" as a way to try and win Adam over, I have a HC that he is big on family. I also HC that he's soft in a way that Eve only brought out in him (and with Luci later on in their relationship)

Eve: It can be like it used to be, everyone together again. We can be a family Adam.

Adam: Yeah?

Lucifer: This bitch serious?

See, this is interesting, because even though I am ALL about possessive and jealous Lucifer, I feel like with Eve it would be slightly different

Lucifer ALSO has depression and abandonment issues of his own lmao, so I think if someone like EVE, who is Adam's ex-wife, is kind, beautiful, has history with him, lived her whole life with him, had a bunch of children with him, etc etc, came and wanted Adam back genuinely??? I think that would actually break Lucifer.

This woman is a lot of things that Lucifer isn't (on top of being, you know, a woman) she was literally MADE for Adam, what does he have on her??? Nothing.

Lucifer wouldn't outright talk about this, instead, he'd watch from the sidelines how Eve slowly wins Adam more and more each time. He can't even bring himself to be mad, he feels like he's already lost. Again. He lost another lover. He lost Adam once more.

Adam would treat Lucifer like always, but Lucifer would just say that he's not in the mood to hang out, or talk, or that he's busy, needs to do things, etc. He'd avoid being in the same room with the two of them, and just quietly resign to a life of loneliness again.

I mean, that's my take at least LOL this may be slightly OOC, but I think it's at least a little possible considering Lucifer's VERY MUCH damaged psyche.

[minhosimthings]

For Love to Exist: A Hyunjin Fic

Synopsis: In which Aphrodite makes a plan for two loveless souls.

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin × Fem!reader, includes rest of Skz (side characters)

Word count: don't know but it's really long

Warnings: Fluff, angst, slow burn, mentions of self harm, and mental abuse, reader is an orphan, mentions of food and drink. She/her pronouns used, reader has scars on her skin

A/N: this is sort of a self indulgent fic for me and it is dedicated to all the people in my life who have made me feel like I am worthy of love again. This is based off of my own experiences due to my abusive past and how I let those go with the help of the people I've met here in university. I based Y/N off of myself (I hope you don't mind) because I feel like Hyunjin would be the type of person to love s person, regardless of their past, and ignorant of their future (and also I'm too delulu for Hyun rn). I dedicate this fic to all the people around the world, who feel that they do not deserve a red heart, and an I love you everyday. I dedicate this fic to the little girl inside of me, who still thinks that she is unworthy of love.

For love to exist, souls should exist too. For love to breathe, souls should take a deep breath too. For love to live, souls should learn how to live too. But for you, souls simply did not exist. They were just imaginary things made up by boring adults to tell children why they married their partners, to mask whatever what going on in reality. Why would anyone believe in souls and hearts and bonds and all that bullshit? Kids, of course, believed it.

You, on the other hand, were taught by cold eyes, ever since forever. Cold eyes had taught you that warm ones always lied and that love was just a fairytale made up to increase the population of earth. Cold eyes told you that June wasn't about pretty flowers and sundresses. They taught you it was about the burning sun and the heatwaves. Cold eyes taught you that flowers were nothing more than biological creations of two genetically unique organisms. Cold eyes taught you that the world was just the Earth, just a globe and that the universe didn't care for a tiny speck like you.

Work, Eat, and sleep. Those were the only things you did with passion. Those were the only things in your life that you noticed and yearned for. It was painful to watch your coworkers at the company, who were below you, enjoy life so much. As chief editor, you had less work than they did, yet they saw life as a chance. They saw life as a chance to enjoy the fruits of the universe, while you still saw life as a scarred being. Funny, how you thought that everyone else was mad to have love in their lives, yet there you were with scars on your chest, both physical and mental, going unnoticed by the minute.

Until Hyunjin came into your life.

Hwang Hyunjin. Step son of your goddamned boss. You were told that he would be working alongside you as both an assistant editor and as a new cartoonist, replacing Mr Park, who had resigned five days ago. You groaned at the idea of having someone follow you all day, asking you if you needed anything. You were better off without an assistant or a cartoonist. But your magazine wasn't the leading magazine in South Korea for no reason. The illustrations provided alongside the thigh slapping articles always provided the greatest entertainment to the millions of readers. Mr Park was an old man, who was always quiet and mostly kept to his drawings, exactly your preference. Someone who doesn't annoy you or ask about your love life because apparently, at 23, a woman has nothing better to do. But a man, your age, who you've heard used to be a singer in a band, yeah that wasn't going to work with you.

Your boss had introduced you guys on his first day. He was.... surprisingly handsome. His eyes were like a kitten's, small and glittery, as if Andromeda had poured all her stars into them. His nose and jawline were so sharp, in total contrast to his gaze, soft and pinkish. You wondered why all those thoughts were coming into your head. Never before had they had even touched your mind, when you saw other men and women around you, no matter how pretty they were.

He worked in silence. Complete silence. He wouldn't even move his chair or anything. The desk on which he worked was so pristine and organized, very much like yours, exactly like yours. But there was an aura with which he worked on piece of paper with a black ink pot that you could only dream of having. It was like the sky favoured him, sunlight illuminating all of his features, including some tiny moles on his face. You couldn't help but admire his serious face, headphones in, with an ink stained brush moving swiftly across paper, tracing the tiny dots and lines of whatever he was making. You had first approached the company as a cartoonist yourself, having the skills because of an art minor. But soon the director saw you better as a journalist and slowly but surely you moved your way up the ladder to become chief editor. And when you saw other people doing something you used to love doing, you wondered if you hadn't accepted the job as an editor, would your life have been so mundane? So brown and still?

"Um Miss Y/N?" A voice broke you out of your stupor, starting you and getting your mind away from the articles on your computer screen. Hyunjin was standing next to you, holding pieces of paper in one hand and his brush in the other. He had a dab of ink sprawled across his nose. Cute, you thought.

"I, uh, finished the illustration for the first article you sent. Are they ok?" He gave you five pieces of paper, all with funny intonations on them, a cookie wearing hat, and an iguana wearing a DJ's glasses. It was cute, really cute you thought, as you gave them back to him, nodding in approval and shooting him a small smile. "You have ink on your nose, did you know that?" You pointed out to him, handing him a tissue from your tissue box, which he took and immediately disappeared behind his computer, wiping his nose aggressively. Cute, so cute.

You usually left work at eight thirty, not too late and not too early that you'd miss your tea. But something made you want to stay back today. Someone, specifically. Hyunjin told you that he usually went home by ten, since he didn't do much during the night. You refrained from telling him when you went, lest he question why you stayed back today.

"Miss Y/N I'll be heading out now. Good night." He held up his olive green bag and waved goodbye to you. Something inside of you wanted to say 'Wanna go together?' but you had always ignored that something so you instead waved back to him and started picking up your things.

That day, the old grandmother at the ramen shop you always went to said something was different about you and told you to smile more. You didn't know whether or not that was a complement but you took it willingly along with spicy ramen with beef.

"Miss Y/N I-" "Hyunjin stop call me Miss. Im your age. Just call me Y/N, alright?" You finally got that sentence out of your mouth after keeping it in for an entire week. An entire week Hyunjin addressed you with honorifics and today you wanted to tell him that just your name was enough. Just your name coming out of his mouth like a sweet melody was alright. "Oh well ok Y/N." He said with some difficulty, feeling awkward not using the proper words. "I wanted to say that lunch break began over two hours ago and you still haven't got up from your seat, so I uh bought you something. I asked your co workers what you usually eat so um yeah." He did what? You looked down at his extended hand, holding a box of your usual Ramyeon and an americano. You silently took the food from his hands, shooting him a quick 'thank you'. He deserved more than that, but at that moment, all your shocked brain could do was that.

Someone cared for you. Someone noticed that you weren't eating. Someone noticed how you stayed on this cold October day. And that was sort of sweet? Someone did that for you and for once it seemed he did not want anything in return. That couldn't be true, you thought as you silently ate your Ramyeon, all the while shooting tiny glances at Hyunjin, who was once again immersed in his drawings. Seeing him so deeply imbued in an art, which provided him a job, was so endearing to look at. He was doing something he enjoyed, while earning money for it. Isn't that what everyone in the world would love?

"Um Hyunjin? Hyunjin." You snapped your fingers in front of Hyunjin, who had his headphones on, with that brush back in his hand. He looked so cute, being broken out of his hypnotised state. His eyes blinked at you for a few seconds, before he took the headphones off and greeted you. "What is it Mi- I mean Y/N?" God he was so handsome. He was in a loose baby blue sweater and white pants today. He looked so dainty and fragile as if you touch him and he'll break. "I uh wanted to thank you again for the food today. Um. Any way I can thank you for it? Maybe buy you a coffee?" You could feel your cheeks getting redder by the moment. Even if he couldn't see the blush, you could definetly feel them. If your guardian angels were watching you right now, they'd be saying 'Y/N get your ass up and stop blushing so much.'. "Oh. Um uh" Hyunjin stuttered for a bit before checking his watch. Nine thirty am. There was still half an hour left to go home, meaning you both had enough time to grab a coffee and perhaps a bagel or something tasty.

"Oh course Y/N. But please do not pay for my food. You need not repay me for lunch." Your pleas for that sentence went unheard, as Hyunjin kept saying that he didn't want anyone to pay for him, reasoning that lunch was a basic human need and he was just helping his co worker out. Something about the way he defended himself and explained things was so adorable. It was like a ferret explaining why it's fur is white and why it's ears are so round.

"This is surprisingly good." You commented, as Hyunjin and you sat by the little round table in the coffee shop, drinking Americans and eating Macarons. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at you, watching as you are your pistachio Macaron. "You never had a Macaron before in your life?" You shook your head at his question, trying to swallow your bite of the Macaron quickly, so as to answer his question. "No actually." You managed to cough out after what seemed like five hours of you chewing the sweet dessert. "I don't have a preference for sweet things. I used to but I grew out of it." Hyunjin looked up at you, from staring at his shoes. "You used to? Well I always used to believe that a sweet tooth could never grow out of their preferences. Turns out I was wrong then." The corners of your mouth twitched as your heart itched not to say 'why are you so perfect?' to the man sitting in front of you. "So what musicians do you listen to?" It was now your turn to look up at him with wide eyes. It was funny how both of you were eating food together like two normal human beings, yet neither of you dared to look at each other, or maintain direct eye contact for more than a fraction of a second. "Pardon?" You asked him, eyebrow raised and foot tapping on the floor. He stumbled back a bit and said, in a apologetic tone, "Oh I didn't mean to impose. Im sorry. I just thought, you know we see each other every single day, and I have never gotten to know what my coworker likes a dislikes so um.. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Seeing him apologize like that was like seeing a puppy apologize to a black cat. You probably looked scary right now, with your expression and your rigid figure, so it made sense for Hyunjin to react like that.

"Oh it's alright Hyunjin." You said, shooting him the tiniest smile ever. "People don't really ask me questions about myself that often so I was kind of taken aback." Hyunjin just nodded and hummed in response to your bland statement.

That night, when you went home, you thought to yourself, about how much you missed human interaction. Most often disassociation and loneliness were your favourite drugs, but Hyunjin asking you a simple question about your favourite singer, made those drugs seem pleasure less. Your therapist would have probably looked you up and down and immediately told you that you were in love, being the hopeless romantic he was. People were scared to approach you. You, with your head held high in the air, your gait threatening that of Hera's, and your expression, cool and wicked. But Hyunjin just casually asked you what musicians you listen to, as if he had known you for years and he was meeting up with you again, at a school reunion. It was shocking to you, how he could just say that, without stuttering. Yes he did stutter later on, but it was so adorable the way he apologized to you, hands nervously palming at his fingers and nose silently twitching. Maybe friends weren't so bad after all, you thought, as the stars looked at you in pity, talking amongst themselves, about where had God gone wrong with you.

A sticky note? Your boss never left sticky boss for you. Usually his assistant to deliver you messages. So who wrote this mysterious pink sticky note, stuck to your computer with a smiley and something written on it? You had arrived at work after Hyunjin today, who, once again was is a hypnotic state, lightly bobbing his head to whatever was playing inside of those blue headphones. You slightly suspected that the note was probably his, as you sat down on your chair, hanging your bag in the usual place beside your table. You pulled off the note from the computer and examined it closely. There was something written on it with a glittery purple pen.

I scared you yesterday with my question. So I'm going to ask you through a note. What musicians do you listen to? (PS you can answer through a sticky note too)

You noticed Hyunjin kept giving you small glances from time to time, only taking his eyes away from his art for a fraction of a second. Cute, you thought, really cute. This was by far the cutest thing he had done. You silently took up a glittery blue pen from your drawer and wrote some sentences on a different sticky note, knowing when you were going to stick it.

"Hyunjin could you do me a favour?" You tapped on his desk to alert him. He looked up at you once again, with those same doe eyes. You noticed the ink once again splattered on his nose. "Yeah?" "Could you take this up to Mr Kim once and ask him if this is how he wanted the article to be edited?" You handed him a blue file to take it upto your boss, which is silently took and went up to the boss's office, giving you enough time to stick the note onto his computer. You made a last minute addition to the note, before rushing off to the canteen, lest Hyunjin catches you in your mischievous act. Even though it was just sticking a note to your co worker's computer this felt like the most amazing thing you had ever done in your life, the most daring.

Where had you gone? Hyunjin had come back to his desk after handing off the file to the boss, who said he'd give it back tomorrow, only to find you nowhere to be found. He swore that he had saw you here just a second ago. Where had you gone now? Shrugging his shoulders and telling himself that you had probably taken a bathroom break, he sat back down on his desk, ready to complete the illustrations for the day, that you had given him yesterday, when he noticed something stuck to his computer. A green sticky note. Could it be? Did you respond to his very creepy, weirdo nerd way of asking you a question in order to get to know you better?

When Hyunjin sat down on his chair, and slowly pulled the sticky note out, he sweated that his heart had skipped a hundred beats (or 143 beats hehe). Your loopy handwriting was scrambled on it with sparkly blue ink.

This is very middle school of us to be passing notes in work but I like listening to Lana del Rey, Florence and The Machines, a bit of k-pop and lot of classical music. Now you answer my question along with your own question. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? (PS you have ink on your nose)

Hyunjin's soul was doing backflips in his stomach. Having an obsession for love, he wondered whether this was how Cupid felt like when he shot his first arrow. You listened to the same artist he did. He absent-mindedly wondered about what question to ask you next when you came out from the canteen, carrying lunch for the both of you. "Oh hey Hyunjin." You said in what you hoped wasn't an over active tone. "I uh got you lunch to pay back for when you got me lunch and um here you go." You awkwardly handed him the cup of spicy tteokbokki along with some other dishes and an Americano. As if returning the awkwardness, he mumbled a sheepish 'thank you', grabbed the food and hid behind his desk. Somewhere in the clouds Aphrodite was sighing, not knowing what to do with you two.

After a few hours, when you had gotten up to go the boss's office, Hyunjin saw his golden chance and took it. He scribbled his question onto a pink sticky note and quickly stuck it to your desk, frantically sitting back on his chair and pretending to be focusing on his cartoon which had long been completed.

Happiness. Happiness was all you and Hyunjin felt that night, when both of you parted ways. It was that happiness which a fourteen year old gets when their crush pays attention to them. It was mischievous happiness, as both you went home and pondered about questions and answers. Middle school romance was something neither of you had, with him not finding the correct person, who would love him for who he is, and you just not wanting love anymore. Aphrodite would be probably be smiling right now, twirling her roses and she makes the next part of her plan.

"Hyunjin! Over here!" It was raining very heavily today and you had chosen this very day to not take your car. Apparently Hyunjin had done the same thing, as both of you saw other close to the cafe a distance from your work. He didn't have an umbrella and you had spotted him running over in the direction of your work, blue hoodie gripped tightly over his head. "Did the universe have to choose the day I didn't get my car to rain?" He shouted at you as you both were shielded by your umbrella. "I was thinking the same thing!" You shouted back at him. "Let's get inside the cafe!"

The cafe thankfully wasn't crowded at all, and as you took off your coat and shoes to dry, you appreciated the heat coming from inside the cafe. It was on the more traditional side, with a wooden interior and sepia toned plants hidden in mud pots.

"Oh great." Hyunjin sighed. He was holding his phone is his hands, having taken off his hoodie and his shoes before you did and setting his bag down at a table for two. "Boss just texted. Work's cancelled for three days straight." "So we went through all that rain for nothing?" You deflated on the comfy chair, opposite Hyunjin, who was revealed to be wearing a dark blue shirt underneath his baby blue hoodie. "Well damn it. What do we do now? I didn't bring my car and neither did you. Do we have to wait out the storm here?" You asked him, wiping your face with a handkerchief. "Well we can." Hyunjin responded. "I think the owner will probably let us." You raised a brow at him at that statement while he just stared into space, as if expecting an alien to show up any moment. "How do you know the own-" "HWANG HYUNJIN YOU FINALLY DRAG YOUR ASS HERE TO SEE ME."

A very loud voice rang through the cafe, accompanied by a much quieter 'Hyunjin's here?'. Hyunjin groaned and buried his face in his hands, as a handsome man with olive skin, brown hair, and the prettiest nose ever, came striding up to your table, wearing the uniform of the cafe. He promptly pulled up a chair and collapsed onto it, next to Hyunjin, all the while playfully glaring at him. "Hey Minho hyung." Hyunjin mumbled, not looking directly at whoever this Minho was. The other man clicked his tongue out of disapproval and said, "Say that louder would ya? And why have you not been coming to visit me and emotional dump on me for like two weeks? Oh and who's this lovely young lady?" He looked into your eyes at that last bit, startling you a bit, at how round and black his eyes were, like tiny little boba balls. "I'm Y/N." You extended a hand forward. "L/N Y/N" Minho took your hand and shook it with a firm grip, before getting up and slightly bowing to you. "Well Miss Y/N, may I get you anything? Perhaps something which is not an Americano, which is what this monster" he motioned to Hyunjin "drinks?" You gave him a calculator look before saying, "Oh. Um I would like an americano actually and probably one for Hyunjin too please." Minho looked ever so slightly taken aback by your words. "As you wish!" He declared before giving Hyunjin and a smirk and leaving.

"So who was that?" You asked Hyunjin, whose ears were burning red. With a sigh, he put his elbows on the table, burrying his head in them.

"That was Lee Minho. A college mate of mine, who opened a cafe with a friend of his, soon after graduation, because apparently he didn't want to get into a boring job." He chuckled slightly at that. "He's a mentor to me. He's like I think two years older than me and he treats me like a damn baby. But it's fine cause I'm the one who helped him cheat on his exams so I get free shit here."

"Americano for two?" Oh hey Hyunjin!" A freckled boy had come up to your table, americano filled cups in his hand. His skin was porcelain, like glass, dotted with star like freckles, with blonde hair framing his beautiful face. "Hey Lix." Hyunjin patted the boy's back, as he set the coffee down on the table. "How's your mum now? Is the treatment working?" A smile never seemed to leave this boy's face, as he sat down in the chair which Minho had pulled up earlier. "She's good now. Much better! I've been sending her some brownies every now and then but she's still disappointed because apparently her son won't get a girlfriend." He slightly pouted as Hyunjin chuckled lightly. "Oh who's this? Wait are you-" the boy looked at you with excited eyes, before gasping and turning his head to Hyunjin. "Is this the Y/N you told me about?" He excitedly extended a hand towards you, which you took, experience pleasure at his soft grip and hands, which was in stark contrast to Minho's handshake. "I'm Felix! Lee Felix. Nice to meet you! Y/N right?" The amount of happiness radiating from this boy was so much that you thought he was probably the reincarnation of Helios himself. "Nice to meet you too Felix. I'd introduce myself, but judging from your excitement I believe Hyunjin's already told you about me." You gave him a smile, which he returned. "Yah Felix!" Minho's voice came from across the wooden walls. Felix groaned and got up from his chair saying goodbye to both of you and rushing off to Minho.

"They're really nice." You told Hyunjin, sipping on your americano. It was nice and weird to have people like you for who you are. It was kind of alien to you, to meet two people who knew about you. It was even more alien of Hyunjin to tell people about you. What could people tell about you? What fragments of your being attracted Hyunjin that he told his friends about your existence?

"Y/N are you ok?" Hyunjin's voice broke your mind from staring at the rain pouring outside. The storm had calmed down now and it was just lightly drizzling, drops staining the window, racing against each other. "Oh yes I'm good. Sorry."

"So you wanna talk about the notes or should we keep it a middle school secret?" Hyunjin's question rang across your brain, and as you sipped on your americano, you couldn't help but notice how innocent that question was. It was just a question. It wasn't an interrogative question, which you'd be punished for if you didn't answer. You fingers unconsciously went up to your wrists when you thought about that question. "What do you suggest? I'm alright with answering the question in person, instead of exchanging notes." You responded, keeping your tone casual, so as to not reveal the fast pace of your heart beat.

Hyunjin smiled at you and sipped on his americano again. "My favourite ice cream flavour is pistachio. And I also like listening to Lana del Rey and classical music. My turn now." He leaned forward slightly. "A song which you could listen to, for all eternity?" Musical questions were what you enjoyed the most, having being in love with music ever since your ears picked up the tune of twinkle twinkle little star. Hyunjin's question seemed hard, since your favourite song changed every few seconds and you couldn't just choose one melody to pleasure your ears for all of eternity. "Hmm" you responded after a while. "Probably Love by Lana Del Rey." "Why so?" Hyunjin asked.

"Because along with having an amazing tune and the greatest vocals ever," you started your lecture "It's also such a deep song. The way she is symbolising young love is so beautiful, from the way she alters her voice at certain lines to the lyrics themselves. I especially fell in love with the chorus because it signifies such a beautiful matter of being so much in love that even the tiniest actions can seem like elephantine gestures. Even that lyric 'The world is yours and you can't refuse it' it's so pretty. It's symbolising that feeling of ruling the world when you fall in love. Or atleast I think it does. I've never fell in love so."

You fell quiet after your rambling, hoping that it didn't freak him out how much you knew about one particular song, which you definetly did not write an entire essay about. L/n Y/n you've done it again. You've scared a person off because of your rambling about your hyperfixation because you have nothing else to love. Great job, you thought.

But as you looked over at Hyunjin's face, it was happy? His eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted as if thinking what to say, his americano straw remained in his mouth, but he wasn't sipping on it. He was in total awe, something you couldn't see.

"That- that was amazing." He said after a pregnant silence. "I never thought about songs that way honestly. But I think from now on I'll start thinking of it like that." God his smile was so handsome. The way the corners of his mouth stretched and the way his lips always slightly parted, it was all so pretty. And since when have you became so observant? To notice a man's manner of smiling?

Aphrodite smiled again in the clouds, calling for her chariot, to take a ride across the sky, making up the next step of her masterplan.

It was still pitter-pattering outside the window as both of you finished your drinks. You declined Minho's offer to eat, since you had already ate a lot for breakfast and you weren't feeling hungry. You tasted a bit of Felix's brownies, for which you complemented the freckled boy so mich to point where his glass skin turned into stained red glass.

"God the rain is stopping, how the hell are we going to get home?" Hyunjin sighed, as he meant back in his chair. You both had put your shoes, hoodie and coat back on and were staring out the window. You had an idea in your mind. A peculiar idea. An idea unlike you. An idea made by your heart controlled mind. You know how they say that we should never let our heart control our brain? Well sometimes, just sometimes, in the tiniest moments, we could let it control our being just a little bit.

"Doyouwanttocomeovertomyhouseitsreallycloseby" "I beg your pardon?" Oh great you spoke the easiest sentence in the fastest way you could possibly imagine. You should probably get the Nobel Prize for the most awkward person ever. Taking a deep breath, you made eye contact with Hyunjin (perhaps for the first time) and said, "Would you like to come over to my house? It's close by and I can drop you off at your house if I get my car." Hyunjin looked slightly taken aback by your suggestion, and as he pondered over it with a series of 'ohs' and 'ums', you mentally scolded yourself. How could you never say the right thing ever? How did you manage to say the wrong thing every single time? How did you manage to scare off every person every single time? Were you really not capable of love? Was your mother really right?

"If I don't impose Y/N, I would like to come over to your house. I should actually probably get going home too, so I accept your offer, only if it doesn't bother you." Your heart lifted from where it was earlier. Listening to the words coming out of Hyunjin's mouth in the soft tone, was something so comforting to you. It was like the smell of old books, like the way flowers moved in the wind, like the way wine swirled in a wine glass and like the way melodies danced to the beat of a song.

"This is your house?" You and Hyunjin had walked all the way to your house, shielded by his umbrella. It was safe to say that your house was a very luxurious one, in the more expensive side, courtesy to your high profile job. It was a two bedroom house, with the most beautiful terrace and balcony anyone had ever seen, which gave a view of the Seoul skyline. "It's beautiful." Hyunjin breathed out. "Come inside." You said, taking off your shoes at the entrance and unlocking the wooden door. "Want some food?" Hyunjin shook his head as both of you entered your house, his mouth dropping on seeing the interior. You had a conversation pit inside your house, much like one of those 80's sitcoms, and it was the most queer thing in your house. It was purple and magenta, with white finishings and a pretty carpet, sitting below a glass table. "It seems the interior is much prettier than the exterior." Hyunjin said, as you both entered the pit, sitting down. You sheepishly smiled and mumbled a thank you, before getting up to get him some water, even though you both had downed a big cup of americano.

"Your books are really interesting." You had started showing Hyunjin around your house, and when you reached the library portion, he wouldn't move from there. Granted, you did have a pretty library, decorated with fake moss and hanging vines, which made it look like a shelf growing out of the forest. "What is so interesting about them?" You asked him as he stroked the book covers with his fingers, to which he smiled and pointed to the last two books. "Their arrangment is fascinating first of all. I mean The Animal Farm and Pride and Prejudice are sitting together, as if going for a tea party. Did you arrange them yourself?" You only nodded to his question, too scared to answer. "The second interesting thing about this bookshelf is that all the books are so dual to each other. You have Harry Potter-" he pointed to the topmost shelf, "then you have 1984-" his fingers went to a handsome leather book, "and then finally you have a pop up children'd book." He laughed pointing to the bottom most shelf, where a glittery pink book lie. You blushed, as you saw that book. It was the book, which your best friend at the orphanage had given to you, before she was taken away. You cherished it a lot, it being the only form of love you had ever recieved in your life. "Woah you have Taylor Caldwell too!" Hyunjin said, excitedly, his fingers bouncing on the shelf closest to him, where a series of faded books lie. "Do you want them perhaps?" You asked him, to which he gave you a sad smile. "I've always loved her since the age of eleven but I could never buy any of her books, courtesy to my mum thinking they're too 'westernised'." "You can take some if you want. I hardly ever read these ones." You pulled out some of the books and put them in his hands. He looked surprised and his eyes widened at you. After much trial and error, which included him refusing to take the books, and you threatening to leave him out in the rain if he didn't take them, he finally stuffed then into his bag, thanking you over and over again.

The car ride to his home was fun, to say the least. Hyunjin narrated some funny stories with Minho and Felix, and a few of his other friends. You were shocked to find out that he used to be in a band, where he played the drums. "You must play them for me one day." You said, as you pulled up to a light. "as payback for the books." Hyunjin gave you that sweet smile again, causing your brain to malfunction.

"Thank you for the ride home Y/N. And for the books." Hyunjin said as you both pulled up to his house. "Say I have a question." He said, before unbuckling his seatbelt (drive safely kids). "Would you ever be interested in spending your lunch break with me everyday? Cause I really like talking to you and I don't have many friends at work. Only if you want to though!" God he was so adorable with those round eyes and those cute cheeks. Was he actually so cute or was your hopeless brain just making it up?

Aphrodite sighed again as she watched you silently from the bushes, happy that you were going on the right path, but worried about the trajectory of your mind.

Spending time with Hyunjin were the best moments of your life. It was surprisingly fun to spend a part of your day everyday with Hyunjin. It was just lunch and americanos, fresh from Minho's cafe, since it was the only one you liked now. You warmed up to him more than you had wanted to, and for the first time, your brain didn't mind being ruled by your heart. Hyunjin had introduced you to some of his closest friend, who came to visit him at work, making sure he didn't overwork himself. And he had interesting friends. Apart from Minho and Felix, there was a producer group called 3Racha who wrote songs for a company called JYP. It was composed of the three most kindest people you had ever met. Jisung, Changbin and Chan treated you like their own sister, often picking up an Americano for you whenever they got one for Hyunjin. You met Hyunjin's youngest friends Seungmin and Jeongin at Minho's cafe, when Jeongin bumped into your shoulder, dropping his books and apologizing to you frantically. Both of them were University students, one having a pottery studio and the other studying computer science. They were mischievous little things, but you loved them too, with you sharing Seungmin's love for pottery and Jeongin's hatred for sugary foods. It was so fun, having friends, even if they weren't your friends from the beginning. This was the first time you had experienced happiness ever since you were eight.

The words on your books weren't skimmed over by your eyes anymore. Instead they were carefully taken in, word by word, appreciating how every letter formed the beautiful sentence. Now, winter wasn't about surviving anymore. Instead it was about being warm and cosy, all wrapped up in a big blanket, hugging a plushie and drinking hot chocolate as pretty winter flakes poured outside the window. Now you digged out the sundresses you haven't worn in so long, and you would wear them to work every now and then, catching the eyes of every person you passed (because you are the most beautiful person on earth LOVE YOURSELF I LOVE YOU). You never noticed it, but now, Hyunjin looked at you differently. He wasn't a very defensive person, choosing to end arguments quickly, but whenever his eyes set upon your figure dancing in a yellow sundress, embroidered with flowers, he swore that he would burn done the entire world for you. Both of you regularly met up at each other's house, having k drama nights, where you would do nothing but cry over the slow burn, and try out a new snack from the local convenience store every time. Sometimes Hyunjin would play the drums for you, taking your excited requests of the 70's and 80's rock songs. It was all so perfect, having Hyunjin in your life and every time you saw him moving his own across a piece of paper, whipping up a cartoon for you as a gift, your heart smiled, urging you to let it take over for just a little longer.

But Aphrodite had something else in plan.

Sometimes the Gods plan sinister things for humans. Sometimes they say 'lets whip up conflict'. And most often it's not between one human and another. Most often it's between a human and her own mind. You had gotten a call on a nice Thursday morning, when you were about to set out for work, clad in a white dress, which reached your knees. A call from your adoptive parents. Unbeknownst to the entire world, behind your pretty face, you hid a grief filled secret behind those glassy eyes. Your childhood wasn't all sunshines and rainbows. You had grown up in an orphanage basically your entire life, and at the tender age of eleven, you had gotten adopted by a rich couple. Good right? Nope it was the polar opposite. Turns out they had adopted you for their own benefit, to gain support from the media to continue their company or some bullshit like that. It had haunted you all your life, how they would never speak a word to you, never a word of affection. It was just words of 'who would ever love you?' and 'you aren't capable of love'. When you had gotten accepted in college, with a full ride scholarship, they had help a party, not for you, but to brag that their daughter, whom they did not even love, had gotten into a college all by herself. They had turned their devil tails into angel wings and it angered you, but you stayed silent. Why should you fight battles with other people when you could fight a battle with your own mind? You had cut off all communications with them however as soon as you left for college. Now it was just you and the world. Getting a job was the hardest thing and you still remember all those days that you survived on water and biscuits, like Marie Curie, when she used to research on radioactivity. You had learnt that your 'parents's' buisness had gone bankrupt, soon after you had gotten a job, but they still hadn't ever contacted you until this Thursday. It was Seungmin's birthday today and you had gotten him a puppy keychain, one that he had been wanting for a long time, which he had told you about in secret. You had purchased it the day before and wrapped it up in a cute box, writing some notes on the top. It was supposed to be the most perfect day. Happiness and melted ice cream that was what this day was supposed to be.

"Hello?" You had picked up your mother's call and your world came crashing down immediately. "Hey there Y/N. We need some money right now and we know you work for Mr Kim. Send us some money please." Not even a hello. The woman who had given you food and shelter didn't even say a hello. The woman who you owed nothing to didn't even say hello.

Hyunjin wondered where you were that day. You wouldn't ever miss a day of work and plus you were excited for Seungmin's birthday. You were going to go for a birthday party which was to be held at Chan's house. Hyunjin had told you that most of the boys would be bringing their girlfriends so you could meet them. You wouldn't never have missed this, especially not when your eyes lit up, when he had told you that Seungmin would be singing for you guys and Minho would be bringing his famous meat. So why? Why was your chair lying all alone and your americano untouched? He had asked Mr Kim whether you had called him today, to which he got disappointment when Mr Kim said no. Your boss didn't really care whether or not you took breaks, since you mostly finished your work in advance, in order to save time. That day Hyunjin told the guys, that he wouldn't be coming to the party, much to their disappointment. But they understood when he said that he was worried for you. He basically talked about you 24/7 and the boys still didn't understand how their most romantic friend ever ended up not knowing what love was.

Hyunjin had an extra key to your house, which you had given him after two months of knowing him, trusting him enough to keep an emergency contact. Hyunjin kept fiddling with it on the cab ride to your place, massaging his nerves to calm himself down. As he reached your house, the atmosphere around him changed. It became gloomy, even when the Sun attacked him with his rays. The sunflowers in your garden all seemed to bow their heads to him, as if to apologise.

"Y/N?" Hyunjin stepped inside your house, calling your name. "Y/N where are you?" He shouted a little louder this time. If you weren't in the living room, you'd be up in your bedroom or the library. Hyunjin slowly climbed up the stairs to the second floor, taking in the eerie silence of the house. It was such a loud silence. He could hear something in the distance but he didn't know what it was. Was it a cat? He heard a wailing noise that sounded something like a wolf crying.

The door to your bedroom was open. Hyunjin stepped inside, careful not to make a sound. He knew how creepy this was, to enter a person's house like this, but he didn't have a choice. "Y/N?" He called out, noticing the light in your bathroom switched on. "Y/N!" You were sitting on the floor, with a knife next to you. Your hair was in tangles and your body swayed back and forth, As you kept mumbling something to yourself. Your upper arm was slightly bleeding and your breathing was heavy. You had been lying there for the entire morning. You were still in your dress,which was now stained with blood from your arm. Your face was tear stained and your eyes were glassy. "Y/n. Hey look at me. Look at me. I'm here." You looked up to see Hyunjin's worried face, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted again. "Hyunjin?" You breathed out in a weak voice, which made Hyunjin's heart drop to his knees. "Yes it's me. Hey breathe. Please breathe for me." He coached you through breathing in and out, which calmed you down a bit, but you were still shivering and your skin was ice cold and white. You looked like a ghost. A ghost with sunken eyes and shocked expression stuck on its face.

Hyunjin carefully lifted you up and carried you to your bed, careful not to disturb your injury, which he immediately knew how it happened, from the knife lying beside you. He got some cloth and medicine for you from the first aid kit you hid under your bed, something you had told him a long time ago. You watched him with wide eyes as he carefully dressed your wound and got some water for you, forcing you to drink it.

"What happened? And it's ok if you don't wanna tell me." He sat beside you as you leant back against the bed frame. You tried not to catch his eye because you knew if you looked into those galaxies inside his eyes, you would start weeping. "Nothing happened Hyunjin." You mumbled, to which he scoffed silently, getting his hand up to your forehead to check your temperature. It was normal, thankfully you didn't have a fever. "Y/n" he faced you and out his hand on yours. "You know you can tell me right? I'm here for you and I'm worried. Please tell me what happened." It all happened so quickly. You looked into his eyes, taking in the stars inside of them, and you couldn't hold it back anymore as you burst out crying. Hyunjin was quick to hug you, holding your head gently as you buried yourself deeper in his chest, staining his grey shirt. His heart was breaking into a milion pieces, seeing his universe crying out her planets from her eyes. He shushed you from time to time, to make sure you don't become weak from crying.

"Y/N hey hey." He held you head in his hands, cupping your cheeks. "What's wrong? Just one word. Tell me one word. I beg you." You sniffled slightly and looked up at him, stopping you're tears slowly. You felt guilty, for him coming to you. Why should he? He's a human like you and he has responsibilities too and he should tend to them, not you. "Hyunjin, you should go. Y-you have S-Seungmin's party to attend. I'll be fine." Hyunjin knew how much you rejected being taken care of. Care was was word which simply never existed in your dictionary, courtesy to your past.

"Y/N-" "No Hyunjin!" You lashed out at him, tears brewing again in your eyes. Hyunjin now understood why the sunflowers outside had bowed to him, and why the aura was grey today. You had bottled up your feelings again, and one single word from a person of your past, was enough to break you. "I don't want help I don't need it! Just leave me alone! I don't want to be around you!" You panted a bit after shouting all that, your chest feeling heavy, not from the weight of your exhaustion, but from the weight of the entire world around you "Get out. Now."

The next few days, you came back to work, you avoided Hyunjin. You couldn't bear to look at his face, knowing that the stars in your eyes will collapse again if you do. You both worked in complete silence, with Hyunjin silently putting the completed illustrations in your desk, whenever you left to go to the bathroom. You now left at 9 am, instead of your usual 10 am along with Hyunjin. Your americanos seemed even more bitter now that you had no one to share your memories with. Every song in the world sounded like the same mundane melody now, chords repeating over and over again.

But Aphrodite always have something in plan, for souls like yours and Hyunjin's.

Hyunjin had been comforted by his friends for a week now. Every week, he would turn up at either Felix or Chan's house and cry to them. It broke their hearts to see their dearest friend weep and sob over you. You, on the other hand, would sometimes turn up to Minho, drinking his americano and venting your feelings, while he silently grilled his meat and put it on your plate. What you didn't know was that Hyunjin would be hiding silently behind the counter, listening to the notes of your voice talk about him. So one fine Saturday morning, he decided to do something. Something that would finally satisfy Aphrodite, and make her drop her roses down to earth to celebrate.

"Y/N." He called your name as you focused on your most recent article. "Y/N." He said again, when you didn't respond. "Y/N for Pete's sake, talk to me!" He basically shouted at you. You were staying back late tonight, courtesy to the hundreds of things you had to edit, due to your numerous amount of holidays. "Not now Hyunjin. I have to edit this." You spoke sternly, abandoning the fun filled voice you usually used when you were with him.

Hyunjin frowned at you, this time an actual frown, not like the playful ones he did when you would steal his meat from his plate. He was angry. He was angry at the world and at your mind for not treating you well. He was angry at your past, for making you believe that you were unworthy of love. He was furious and he would take it out right now, when no one except for you two were in the office building.

"Y/N listen to me!" He shouted, making you startled. You had gotten up from your seat and now you were cowering against a wall. You had never seen Hyunjin like this before, eyes narrowed and lips closed, burning anger seeping through them.

"Y/N you are quite possibly the most amazing person I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my stupid life. The way you walk the way you talk, everything about you is so amazing! It's so magnificent to me, how everyday you would explain the meaning behind a song, with your eyes all widened and your mouth moving fast! And it hurts me. It hurts me so much to see you like this, thinking that you are unworthy of love." His words were hitting you like bowling balls. "When you told me about your past, you know what I felt? I felt anger. True anger for the first time in my life. For the first time in my life, I wanted to burn down this entire world for a person. I was also so relieved that you trusted me enough to tell me about something like this. You really think I can't see the scars on your wrist through your foundation?" The scars on your wrist. How did he know about that? "Hyunjin-" you breathed out, crystals forming in your eyes again. "Y/N it breaks me. It breaks me so much to have a person like you in my life and not love them. I love you more than you can imagine. So why won't you accept it?"

"Because I can't!" The words spilled from your mouth like water spilling from a waterfall. "I can't Hyunjin! I don't know what love feels like! I never did! An-and when you came into my life and introduce me to all these amazing people, I felt so happy! For the first time in this dumb thing I call my life I felt happy. And I hated it! I hated the way Felix's eyes would light up every time he saw me. I hated the way Chan would always check up on me, making sure I don't overwork myself. I hated the way Minho would treat me like his own family, making sure I got the biggest portions of meat." Everything that you had kept hidden in that crack of your soul came running out. "I hated the way Jeongin looks up to me, telling me he admires the way I work! And you know what I hate the most out of all? I hate you! I hate the way you care so much for me and my stupid brain can't see it! The way you draw little cartoons on my americanos, the way you talk to me as if you were talking to a gentle lamb! I hate it Hyunjin! I hate myself for not seeing how much you love me! And I hate that I can't return the favour!"

Your knees gave way and you collapsed on the floor, sobbing your eyes out. Hyunjin was quick to kneel down next to you, hands searching for yours. Both of you looked into each other's eyes, seeing your entire universe's inside of them. You need love. You needed love to exist. And Hyunjin was there just to do that.

He leaned closer to you, eyes not leaving yours. He knew he had to do it now. Now or never right? Hyunjin, cupped your cheek with his left hand, right one still squeezing yours, and kissed you. He kissed you as if you were the most beautiful thing in the world. He kissed you as if you were the reincarnation of his last lover. He kissed you as if he had been wanting to kiss you for the last fifteen years. He kissed you, and you kissed him back. Your lips moved in sync with his, not moving away, hands wrapped safely around each other, both of you shielded from whatever the world was planning next. Time moved slowly again, as if the spinners of time had abandoned their looms to come watch you two.

And somewhere in the clouds, Aphrodite smiled, knowing that her mission was complete, and that two loveless souls had finally reunited, mending each other's cracks, slowly but surely.

Epilouge

"Hyunjin! We're going to be late! Hurry your ass!" You called out to your boyfriend of five years, as you waited by the door, bag clutched in hand, and white sundress flowing softly. The ash coloured cat you had both adopted, rubbed against your legs, purring and licking herself. Hyunjin had organised a 'special' date today, taking you to one of your most favourite places, a meadow by the beach, where you used to spend your days. It was already late in tbe evening, when Hyunjin finally came down from the steps of your house, still fixing his hair. "Alright Miss Universe, stop fixing your hair and come on!" You said, causing him to giggle, as both of you got in the car and drove off towards the sunset.

"God I love this place so much." You stretched your arms as you watched the dying sun, collapse into the ocean. "More than me?" Hyunjin pouted, as you slapped his chest playfully. "Oh god are those Minho's Macarons? These things are drugs to me." Both of you took a Macaron each, and raised them in the air, as if to make a toast. "Well, to our five year anniversary." Hyunjin toasted while you said 'hear hear!'.

"Y/N, I have a gift for you." You both had eaten all your food and we're slightly leaning against a tree, wrapped in each other's warmth. "What is it Hyun?" Hyunjin pulled out a paper from his pocket. A link sticky note. With Purple glitter pen scribbled on it.

Marry me Y/N?

"I thought I should do it in the way we first talked to each other. You know to make it more roma-" Hyunjin didn't get to complete his sentence, as you threw yourself around him, kissing him on his lips, as if you didn't kiss him every single day.

And Aphrodite couldn't stop giggling and smiling, knowing that now, love existed. And you? Oh you loved the existence of love.

[s0ap-bubbles]

Mk1 stays pissing me off so I’m gonna violently suggest things Dominik can do better in the future

(Under the cut so anyone who doesn’t wanna read it isn’t subjected to a petty teenager ranting lol)

1. Stop being a pussy and write some gay people properly. No more ancient rules bull crap that makes it impossible for them to be affectionate to each other.

2. I don’t know what the fuck you’re on Dominik, but why are you constantly creating random ass ships that were never hinted at or asked for. If there’s no build up, why should I care???

3. Learn how to use the multiverse concept effectively, cus the way you use it now is absolute dog shit. You’re telling me that every character from every mk game has their own timeline? EXPLORE THAT. Don’t just give me “liu kang but evil” cus we got that with the revenants, expand on what changed depending on the timeline he’s from.

4. Bros never heard of show not tell or something cus why is everything cool happening off screen, including now rain’s redemption??? Are you actually fucking stupid??? you had a whole dlc to expand on the things they talk about in the intro and you chose “hehehe havik universe so crazy look at Mohawks”

5. I get this is a new universe but bro. if you’re using iconic characters, at least respect their fucking origins. I’m aiming this at the absolute shit show that is the new bi-han cus there’s is no way you just made him comically evil and called it a day, then set up a redemption in the dlc, and then just made him a bigger bitch than before. Also the way you pushed kitana aside and reduced her to mileena’s cheerleader/support system was so shit as well. The only reason I bring this up is because kitana was leading a whole rebellion and becoming Kahn in the last game, and now you have her going “sister, please don’t do that… empress, please don’t kill them…” like…

6. I am BEGGING YOU. To stop writing Johnny cage like a mcu character I don’t think I can take it any longer fake laughing at his shitty quips. I love Johnny cage but oh my god he’s just been reduced to “funny reference man” and nothing else. Like there is no way he made a game of thrones reference during a literally deadly attack where multiple people had just been killed.

7. Your references suck, you suck, I hate you. Having characters reference other characters who aren’t in the game was cool until I realised that that’s all it is. A reference. These characters aren’t going to be in the game as dlc or anything going by the OBSCENE amount of guest characters, so who gives a fuck.

8. I’m just being petty now but Jesus Christ I hate how you wrote the new era. It’s a cool ass concept, but the way you wrote it was so shit, that I can’t even defend it atp. Change is a natural and necessary thing, but if this is your second time rebooting your franchise NRS and people STILL get mad over the story, I think it’s time to really look at what made the franchise special, and not try to replicate it, but put your own spin on it, make something new that still connects with your fans.

9. RESIGN. PLEASE.

[dare-to-dm]

What's the ac unity debacle?

Assassin's Creed Unity had a legendarily bad rollout. Like, it's the poster child for modern games released in such a buggy state that they're almost unplayable and then fixed later with patches. You may have seen some of the pictures of particularly gnarly graphical glitches:

But there were also a lot of game breaking bugs as well, prompting a well deserved outcry from those who pre-ordered or purchased it on day one.

It also had more aggressive monetization and micro-transactions than previous titles. I didn't play it, so I don't know all the details of this. But I remember hearing that you would find treasure chests all over the world that you needed to purchase special currency to open. Stuff like that.

But all of that is stuff I could have ignored or gotten over once it was fixed. What really upset me and a bunch of other people was during development when it was revealed through marketing that the game would have a co-op multiplayer mode. A multi-player mode in which you could play 4 white guys. Which prompted some fans to ask "Hey, could we get a playable woman assassin instead of 4 identical dudes?"

And if the response had simply been "no", it still would have sucked, but it probably wouldn't have been a controversy. Instead of just saying no, one of the game leads tried to argue "Well, we'd love to put in female playable characters. But honestly, it just wouldn't be possible. It would be too much work. Too many new animations."

Which any fan of the series would know is a blatant lie. Because past games in the series already had fully animated playable women assassins. Other game developers came out of the woodwork to also call foul on the preposterous claim that it would be too much work to add a playable female character, so it was a complaint leveraged not just by angry fans but also by industry insiders.

Furthermore, during this time it came out that at least one of the company leads was let go for sexual misconduct against a female employee, and several other male leads resigned among similar rumors. One of whom apparently had specifically been using his influence to prevent the series from having women protagonists or to reduce their significance because he didn't believe they were good for sales.

So yeah, it was a shit show all around. And though I am a fan of the series, I've decided never to touch that particular title because I'm still mad about it.

[queen-haq]

Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 6)

Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 6)

Summary: You are a general surgeon, working in a hospital that’s slowly sucking the life out of you when one day you’re given the offer of a lifetime.

A.K.A  - An arranged marriage fic :)

Pairing: Billy Russo x You

Rating: R

Masterlist (contains links to my other stories and this one)

PART 6

You were sitting at your desk in the home office you made for yourself, focused on projections for the urgent care when a knock on the door interrupted your focus. Billy walked in with his usual arrogant gait, his gaze locked on you.

“You look busy,” he drawled, coming over to where you were sitting. Standing beside you, he leaned back on the desk, casually flipping through the excel printouts you’d been reviewing.

“I am busy.” You grabbed the sheets from his hand and placed them back on the desk. “What do you want?”

“What’s all this stuff?”

“Work.”

“Didn’t you cash me in as a golden ticket? Thought that meant you never had to work again.”

“I used you to quit the hospital, not my entire career.”

“Could’ve just switched jobs instead of dragging me into your mess.”

“Then I’d be working for another soul-sucking board of assholes.” You sighed with resignation. There was so much to be done and it felt like time was running out. Part of the reason you’d agreed to Alistair’s plans wasn’t just for financial gain, but also to have access to his wealthy contacts who could be of use when it came to permits and donations. Unfortunately Alistair was still mad and you were drowning in bureaucratic red tape. “At this rate, that’ll happen anyway.”

“What are you trying to get done?”

“Like you give a shit.”

“I don’t. I’m just killing time.” He cocked his eyebrow. “So tell me.”

Sitting back in your chair, you cast a wary glance at the task list on your laptop screen. “Build a clinic in my old neighbourhood.” Dejected, you bit the inside of your cheek. “But that’s gonna be a lot tougher than I thought.”

“Why? Not enough funding?”

“Permit issues. I was hoping Alistair would help with that-

“But he’s pissed.” Billy tipped his head to the side. “And he’s a vengeful old prick.”

“Now you tell me.”

“I know people who can help.”

Surprised, you returned your attention back to him. “Really?”

“Yeah. Same family friends, remember?”

“How could I forget,” you muttered, angling forward. “But why would you help me? What’s in it for you?”

A small smile played across his lips. “Maybe I’m doing it out of the goodness of my heart.”

“You don’t have one. So what do you want?”

The smile transitioned into a fully amused smirk. “There’ s a wedding I have to attend. A good friend of mine. As much as I want to keep this shit between us a secret, he found out about you.”

“Aw, he wants to meet your wife.”

“Something like that.”

Laughing, you stood up. “Will we need to hold hands? Kiss? Pretend we’re newlyweds madly in love?” Looping your arms around his neck, you taunted in a sing-song voice. “Is this a ploy to get me to fall in love with you?”

“You’ve watched too many romcoms.” Despite his grumbling tone, his eyes twinkled with delight. “None of that shit is gonna happen, no matter how badly you want it.” He unlocked your arms from around him but didn’t let go of your hands. “You help me out, I’ll help you out. We have a deal?”

“How do I know you’ll hold up your end?”

There was that perfectly arched eyebrow again, questioning you. “You don’t trust me?”

“Not even a little bit.”

He squeezed your hands, the heat from his touch pulsing through you. “I should be the one doubting you. You tried to seduce me in my sleep.”

“Still telling yourself that lie? You know it’s bullshit.”You tried to back away but his grasp on you remained firm, pulling you closer. You wanted to kick yourself. Yeah you liked toying with him, it was fun seeing him get all worked up, but recently he stopped responding in anger and started pushing your buttons instead, and you didn’t like it. Not when the deep, dark pools of his eyes fixated on you, as if he was trying to absorb all your thoughts and feelings and secrets, and his proximity played havoc with your thoughts.

“Hate to ruin your fantasies, sweetheart, but we’ll be getting separate rooms at the hotel. I don’t want you attacking me again.”

You gave him a forced smile. “Fuck off, Billy.”

He laughed, finally releasing his hold on you. “And when we come back, I’ll introduce you to my contacts.”

“You better.” Needing distance from him, you exited the office and headed to the kitchen to grab a drink. Unfortunately, he followed suit. You did your best to ignore him but it was hard to do that when his gaze followed your every move. “Your friends know the real reason we got married?”

“You mean did I tell them you’re a golddigger?” he remarked dryly, grabbing some pretzels from a jar, and throwing them back in his mouth one by one. “Obviously not. Don’t want to look like a chump.”

“Great,” you groused. “That means I have to be nice to you.”

“Yes, sweetheart. It does.”

“Your friends are gonna be assholes too, aren’t they?”

“Curtis and I served together.”

Shit. Now you felt like an asshole since you’d assumed they were his high society friends.

“He’s saved my ass a few times over the years. I’ve saved his. Now he’s getting married and wants me to be his groomsmen.”

“When’s the wedding?”

“This weekend. In California.”

“Why so soon?”

“I didn’t ask.”

You scowled at him. “I thought you guys were friends?”

“Doesn’t mean we share every fucking detail about our lives. He asked me to be there, so I’m going. Not gonna fucking interrogate the man about it.”

Men, you huffed to yourself. Taking a sip of your drink, you watched as he languidly munched on the pretzels. By now you should have gotten used to his lingering stare but it still caught you by surprise when you found yourself scrutinized by him. These days he was checking you out more and more, and each time it left you unsettled. You contemplated calling him out on it, but with Billy being Billy, he’d probably claim you were being delusional.

Billy slid the pretzel jar back on the island before moving to the sink to wash his hands. Drying them, he sauntered over to where you stood, smoothly reaching over to grab the drink from your hand.

“Hey!”

A mischievous smile curved his lips as he took a sip of your drink. “Whole event’s gonna take place over a few days. Bachelor party on Thursday-”

“-Guessing I’m not invited to that?”

“Rehearsal dinner on Friday. Wedding on Saturday.”

“I have an important meeting this Friday.”

“Fly out after. We can meet up there.”

“Hope your friends are not boring, Billy.”

“You can always get them drunk and get ammunition on me.”

You rubbed your hands together with glee. “Oooh, there’s an idea.”

“And I’ll do the same with your friends next time I see them.”

“Absolutely not. Never gonna happen.”

He booped your nose, moving closer. “It’s only fair, don’t you think? You meet mine, I meet yours.”

It dawned on you how intimate the whole encounter was. The two of you teasing each other, being flirty, like an actual couple. And you liked it. You liked this side of him. The realization was unnerving, leaving you feeling suddenly awkward. “I have to get back to work,” you said, feigning a relaxed pose as you quickly put some distance between the two you.

“You alright?” he asked from behind.

You didn’t answer.

***

You swiped the card and entered the hotel room. Immediately the stunning view of the lush green rolling hills caught your attention. The room wasn’t big; however it was exquisitely designed with bespoke furniture and a Bohemian aesthetic. After unpacking your luggage, you hopped into the shower and got ready for the rehearsal dinner. Your outfit for the night was a chocolate brown cocktail dress that fit you well, with simple jewelry, latte makeup and red lipstick. Gold sandals with midsized heels provided the finishing touches for the look that left you feeling sexy and beautiful. No doubt Billy wouldn’t appreciate the effort but maybe there’d be other hotties in attendance. Hooking up was out of the question but that didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the view.

You followed the signs to the restaurant venue, drawing closer to sounds of laughter. Nervousness flitted through you as you walked in, taking in the group of strangers mulling around. You didn’t know these people, and they were bound to judge you as soon as they found out you were married to Billy – it was painfully obvious you weren’t the type of woman he would ever choose.

Taking a deep breath, you gave yourself a mental shake and a pep talk.

So what if others thought Billy was too good for you? It didn’t matter. It’s not like you had feelings for him or anything, so their opinion didn’t matter. You were here just to put on a show so he’d do you a favour. That’s all. Your eyes scanned the room, searching for Billy, when you were approached by a tall, black hottie.

“Hey.”

You flashed him a smile. “Hi.”

“You looking for someone?”

“I’m here for Curtis and Jessica’s rehearsal dinner?”

“You’re in the right place. I’m Omar, Curtis’s cousin. You must be one of Jessica’s friends?” He asked, reaching out to grasp your hand.

Oh, the man had game, with his gorgeous smile and the subtle way his eyes trailed down your body. “I’m married to one of the groomsmen.”

“Too bad. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Me.” Billy seemed to come out of nowhere, sauntering past Omar to stand beside you.

He may have worn jeans for his own wedding but Billy had put in effort tonight, wearing a perfectly tailored maroon collared dress shirt and trousers. His hair was slicked back, his facial hair perfectly groomed. Everything about him screamed gorgeous.

“Omar, why you still holding my wife’s hand?” Billy demanded.

Immediately Omer eased his grip on you, pressing his palms together in an exaggerated show of apology. “Sorry brother, didn’t know she was yours. Just saw a beautiful woman, and I had to introduce myself.”

“I’m not his,” you emphasized. “I’m just married to him.”

Billy turned toward you. “So you do remember you’re married?”

“Kinda,” you smirked, centering your attention back on Omer. “Billy won’t introduce us, so I guess I’ll have to. I’m Y/N.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Omer winked, casting Billy a mischievous look.

Immediately you stiffened, taking in his expression. Maybe to everyone else the smile on Billy’s face was teasing but you sensed his agitation right away. Something was wrong. You could practically see him crawling out of his skin. And he was no longer looking at you, instead his focus was directed at another woman across the restaurant. You felt an unexpected wave of jealousy hit you. He appeared to be completely enthralled by the attractive brunette, he couldn’t stop staring. And the spark of envy you felt turned into something much more fierce. “Who is she? An ex-girlfriend?”

Omer raised his eyebrow. “Dinah’s here already? Thought she was coming tomorrow.” His gaze followed both yours and Billy’s. “Oh, Maria.”

“Yeah, Maria.” Billy’s voice was brittle, a stony expression on his face.

You didn’t know what the hell was going on but you absolutely hated the seething rage that flooded over you. It was crazy and made no sense. You ran into many of the women he slept with over the past few months, but they didn’t arouse such strong emotions in you. Probably because he never looked at them the way he was looking at this one. “Gonna introduce me or what?”

Finally Billy shifted his gaze from her to you. Eyebrow furrowed, he stared at you blankly. “Fine. Let’s go.”

It’s like you no longer existed, you were simply baggage he had to carry around. He walked ahead of you, only stopping when he finally reached the brunette. Next to her was another man who bore a striking resemblance to Omar. Based on that similarity, you deduced it was Curtis.

Curtis and Maria both looked up at Billy, flashing him a smile. You observed the trio quietly, noting the absence of intensity on Maria’s face. Whatever Billy felt for that woman, she didn’t reciprocate.

“Billy,” Maria greeted him with a smile.

“How are you, Maria? You look great.”

You noted how deliberately he masked his reaction with the woman. Carefree, jovial, he was all smiles while he hugged her – yet you saw through the ruse. It was all an act; he was more tense than before.

“And this must be the woman who finally nailed down Billy Russo.” Curtis wrapped his arms around you in a big bear hug, surprising you. Unlike his cousin Omer, there was nothing flirtatious in his smile as he greeted you warmly. “Never thought the day would come.”

You returned his smile. “Me neither.”

“Should we be offended we weren’t invited?” Curtis asked.

“Curtis, stop teasing her.” Maria sent her a friendly glance, seemingly oblivious to the way Billy was still watching her. “Congratulations, Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You offered a small smile, casting Billy a quick glance. Did no one else notice how on edge he was? His anxiety was through the roof yet Curtis and Maria appeared oblivious to it. It was ridiculous that the false smile on Billy’s face had actually fooled them.

“How did you and Billy meet?” Curtis asked, poking Billy in the chest. “He won’t give us any details.”

“Same old story. His grandfather came to the hospital, I operated on him, and while Billy helped him recuperate the two of us fell in love.” It was the story they had both agreed on and seemed to do the trick.

Maria shot Billy a quizzical glance. “I thought you didn’t get along with him.”

“I don’t.”

“But now they’re best buddies,” you piped up.

“Really?” Curtis asked, taken aback.

“She’s just pulling your leg,” Billy replied dryly. “She does that a lot.”

Curtis laughed. “I can see why he likes you.”

For the first time since you walked in the veil of tension lifted from Billy’s face. An amused smile marked his lips. “May need you to remind me, brother. Sometimes she gets a little too mouthy.”

“Yeah, but you like that,” you retorted.

Curtis chuckled while Maria simply smiled. There was a sadness to her you hadn’t noticed before, and you wondered what she was thinking of. A quick peek at Billy’s uneasy face revealed he noticed it too.

“Maria, can we talk for a minute?” Billy asked. He glanced at you. “In private?”

Th jealousy from earlier returned with a swift vengeance but you kept your face devoid of any emotion as you turned your attention back to Curtis. “Why don’t we get a drink while these two talk?”

“Sounds like a great idea.”

You walked away with Curtis, trying not to let Billy’s close exchange with Maria bother you.

***

Later that night you were dressed in silk camisole and shorts, braiding your hair, when there was a knock on the hotel room door. You glanced at the clock. It was past midnight. You walked to the door and opened it a crack to see who was on the other side. Billy stood there, hair ruffled, eyes red, the first couple of buttons on his maroon shirt undone.

“Let me in?” he asked.

There was hesitancy in his voice, like he recognized this was an imposition. You contemplated telling him to get lost but couldn’t ignore the wild desperation in his eyes. You swung the door wider, allowing him to swagger past you, watching silently as he strode over to the mini-fridge and pulled out a few small bottles of liquor. “You’re paying for that, Billy.”

“Paying for the whole trip, sweetheart.”

You shrugged your shoulders, and sauntered over to the bed. Sitting down with your back against the headboard, you stretched out your legs and studied him as he finished a bottle. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird the entire night.”

He turned around to meet your gaze, watching you for the longest time. Finally he approached you, taking a seat on the mattress, next to your feet. “No one else noticed.”

“They don’t know your bitchy moods like I do.”

“Guess I can’t hide shit from you.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “You’ve hidden plenty of things, Billy.”

He glanced down at your feet, making you feel self-conscious all of a sudden. “Your chubby toes are weird.”

“So are your demonic eyes,” you snapped.

This time a genuine smile curved his lips. “Weird but cute.”

His fingers pulled at your toes gently, and you started giggling at how ticklish his touch was. “Stop, Billy!” You smacked his hand lightly.

The smile on his face faded away, his eyes glued to your feet. He seemed to be caught in deep thought again, his mind somewhere else.

“The way you were looking at her, I thought Maria was an ex-girlfriend,” you said quietly.

Billy looked up to meet your eyes. “No, definitely not an ex.” Before he spoke again, he scooted forward, drawing closer to you. “She’s… was my best friend’s wife.”

“Curtis told me. Said you, him and Frank did multiple tours together.”

“He tell you Frank’s dead?”

You nodded your head. “What happened?”

“Frank and I got caught in enemy territory.”

Heavy silence followed, the air thick with tension.

“Held hostage for days.”

You didn’t know what to say, feeling queasy at the unimaginable horror he must have suffered. The cars and burn marks on his body flashed through your mind; you flinched instinctively.

“What?” he asked, meeting your eyes.

“Did they kill him?”

“Something like that.”

The darkness in his eyes made your heart ache. Whatever he lived through had been pure hell, but it was apparent from his lack of explanation he didn’t want to talk about it with you.  Unsure of what to do, you started braiding the wavy strands that had come undone back into a braid again when Billy’s hand clamped over yours.

“Don’t,” he commanded, his fingers curling around your hair. “I like it down.”

He stared at your hair as if he was spellbound, his eyes vacillating between your face and strands, leaving you completely unsettled. The air rushed out of your lungs when he moved closer, his breath humming against your skin as he began to pull apart the braid and run his fingers through your hair.

“Don’t flirt with Omar tomorrow.”

The abrupt change in topic caught you by surprise. “I was being nice, not flirting.”

“That’s not what it looked like,” Billy murmured.  

Despite the softness in his voice, you could hear the warning behind his words and it pissed you off. “So what? Who cares?” you fired back.

His eyes locked with yours, the intensity in them so potent you felt trapped. “I care.”

“Why?” You regarded him closely. “Jealous?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, babe. I just don’t want my friends to think my wife is a cheater.”

His refusal to admit the truth irritated you, especially considering how he reacted around Omer. “That’s all it is?”

“Yeah.” Billy’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck, his eyes affixed on your lips. He tugged you towards him, his pull gentle. The invisible connection between you and him was palpable, making your heart race in your chest, electricity jolting through you. Everything was moving at lightning speed yet time had slowed down. It didn’t make any sense. Nothing did.

“So if I told you he walked me to my room tonight and gave me his number, it wouldn’t bother you?” you prodded.

The glint in his eyes hardened, his jaw clenched. “Of course it would. I don’t want him to start asking why we’re not staying in the same room.”

“So nothing to do with you being jealous?”

“Nothing at all,” he drawled.

The magnetic hold he had over you dissipated instantly. You grew up under the stigma of rejection, your own father choosing to abandon you than claim you. And here was Billy, doing the same. There was no way in hell you were going to settle for someone treating you like that. Using every bit of resolve you possessed, you pulled away. “I want you to leave.”

“And risk having Omar find out the truth about us? I don’t think so.”

“Fine. Stay here but keep your distance.”

“You’re the one who crawled into my bed.”

“And you’re the one who almost kissed me just now.”

A cocky smile covered his face. “Wishful thinking on your part, sweetheart?” Like the arrogant jackass that he was, he moved away from the bed and strolled over to the bar. Pouring himself another drink, he leaned back against the furniture to face you. “Any other fantasies you have in mind?”

“This is so fucking pathetic. You don’t even have the guts to own up to what you want. Instead you hide behind mixed signals so you don’t have to risk anything. You’re a fucking coward, Billy.”

His eyes turned cold as ice.