#i am in fact very cooked
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crying while listening to the sundays and looking at photos of chris <3
#i am in fact very cooked#and down bad#and and and#i love him#i need him#it hurts#he’s so fucking cute#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets
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Of all the horngy food posting feedees on Tumblr, I think you gave the best taste. That yellowfin looks divine 😍
IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! decadent asf, while everything on that plate was fantastic i am a sucker for yellowtail especially… it was slightly charred with some smoked soy 😍😍😍
#i love fast food n shitty hostess cakes as much as any feedee#but i am a foodie first and foremost!!!!#in fact. lemme put together a post of the good food i’ve had recently…#i come from a restaurant family and am very lucky everybody knows how to cook haha#talk#ask
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Chad reed on always the entourages creating the drama. I cannot believe that is what caused rosquez downfall but also given the level of Vale's celebrity and the way he carried himself, I can totally believe that it was the entourage (iPad stand I'm looking at you) that brought the end
(about reed's 2020 quotes in this) yeahhh I mean the downfall was caused by a whole bunch of factors, not just any one thing... like all great tragic narratives, it feels inevitable from a global perspective and yet thoroughly preventable in its specifics, with loads of points where you think, 'oh, if things had just gone a little bit differently'... there's this tension in how, in the end, maybe it would've always gone wrong, but a lot had to come together for it to go wrong in quite such a spectacular fashion
reed's definitely correctly identified one of the factors - the entourages, and valentino's entourage specifically. though fwiw, I did cut off the article before reed predicted the marc/fabio rivalry was headed a similar way (this was from 2020, obviously before the arm injury):
for better or for worse, fabio has skipped the villain arc to head straight to the depressed frenchie arc
regardless of whether this rift would have happened or not, the idea that marc would have gotten a new appreciation for the situation valentino found himself in is at least an interesting one. though if anything, the rivalry with fabio would have more closely paralleled valentino's with the other aliens (new talent coming through, but with the previously dominant rider still a regular winner). now is the time marc's learning what it feels like to come back from a prolonged absence from being competitive at the highest level - and of course with a new superstar simultaneously making his debut
so yeah, anyway, tragedy, you can point to all sorts of strains and pressures and tension inherent to professional sport that were exacerbated by the personalities involved and the influence of the media and the passage of time etc etc. but never mind all that, let's get back to entourages! I know you mention everybody's favourite b-list shakespeare villain, but I'm going to basically mostly ignore him because it's well-trodden ground. yeah, it does help to have one guy who's whispering poison into your ear for a prolonged stretch of time before showing up at your motorhome doorstep with a bunch of telemetry and a dream. and yeah, there were people in valentino's entourage definitely encouraging this path to doom. but what I'm also interested in is the flip side - why nobody stopped him
I would like to submit into evidence this passage detailing the thoughts of vale's mechanic alex briggs. now briggs in this excerpt blames two groups for how things went down in 2015:
the yamaha side (specifically the press group) for not talking him down from the ledge before the presser
the crew chief and other assorted italians on the team for being too "yessy" and not standing up to him
let's briefly (for a given value of the word) focus on the first one. if you're a random yamaha pr person and you see the valentino rossi run to a press conference (given he was late) with a bunch of papers in his hands (well, he's not actually holding the papers in those gifs, but presumably somebody's got them), it's probably a tough ask to expect you to hold up the valentino rossi and ask him what exactly he's intending to do with those papers. also, is he really going to back off because you, random yamaha pr person, have asked him to please not accuse the competition of sabotage? added context is that some at yamaha were aware of what valentino thought about the race at phillip island (which we'll get to in a sec), but god knows if the pr people did. unless he confided in anyone on the yamaha side what the plan was, a lot of them would have been blindsided too - which does come back to the problem of how big a deal valentino is and how maybe you're a little more cautious about questioning what he's about to do with those papers than you would be with somebody else. it does feel like perhaps a bit too much to expect for them to have launched some last-minute intervention, or to even know what kind of intervention they could have gone for beyond low-level comedy hijinks to stop him from even getting to that room. why did nobody from yamaha place a banana skin in his path
but we do know that at least some in yamaha were aware of valentino's great big phillip island sabotage theory, because lin jarvis has very helpfully told us as much (from the post-sepang media scrum):
Q: Do you think it was a mistake for Valentino to [provoke?] Marc so much on Thursday with a very personal and hard attack? Jarvis: There are always many different ways of addressing different problems - Valentino chose to do it in that way. Perhaps that is what provoked Marc into being quite aggressive on the track. I really don't know, you need to ask Marc not me about that. Every action has a consequence. That's life. Q: And did you know before that Valentino was going to be so aggressive with Marc in the press conference? Did you know before? Did you discuss with Valentino about this decision or you didn't know until it happened? Jarvis: Personally, I was not aware of that. I was aware of Valentino's opinion of the race in Australia, but I was not aware... but I was not aware that he would - Q: Don't you think because Valentino at the end of the day is an employee of Yamaha he should discuss before with you about such an important decision, to attack a rider of another factory in such a heavy way [...]? Jarvis: You can't control every incident, everything that happens and you know, generally we have a very good [...] relation, connection with our riders, we talk to them before about things before, but anyway I think this is something Valentino felt strongly about and it was his decision and that's it.
note the use of the word "personally", which does leave the door open to others within yamaha (outside of valentino's inner circle) knowing what was going to happen. jarvis, unsurprisingly, comes down pretty firmly on the side of 'well what were we supposed to do'. given that jarvis admits he knew valentino's theory and is hardly a stranger to valentino's modus operandi - after all, he was already team boss at the time of another tense press conference in sepang eleven years prior that took place in the wake of valentino accusing a competitor of messing with him - you do have to wonder whether yamaha could not have tried a little harder to stop valentino. but again, accounting for the power of valentino's status and the power of his character, I'm personally unconvinced yamaha could've done much to convince valentino to change his mind
so then: the italians. a little bit of context - briggs started working with crew chief jerry burgess in 1994 and both of them were on mick doohan's team for all of his five 500cc titles. when doohan's injuries forced his retirement, valentino inherited his championship-winning team upon moving up to 500cc. jb was vale's very first crew chief in the premier class, and him as well as briggs have been working with vale since december 1999. understandably, this is a very tightly-knit group. it is one that made the jump to yamaha with valentino - here's just a quick excerpt (also from oxley's valentino rossi: all his races) about briggs' thoughts on that move:
When Valentino decided to defect to Yamaha, he was determined to have his crew go with him. Only one stayed at HRC. "We first got to know about the Yamaha deal in Portugal, I think [September 2003]," Briggs continues. "I wanted to stay with JB, because I hadn't finished learning what I wanted to learn. "I remember a clandestine meeting in the car park at Phillip Island, about salaries and how everything was going to work. It was really exciting. When I very first started working with Honda the whole group was very much a team. Towards the end we felt like it started to become a bit us and them: the engineers and management, then the mechanics and the riders. They'd sort of got too big for their boots - they'd designed this wonderful bike, so it was like it had nothing to do with us. That made it easier to leave.
and also about the move to yamaha, from the 2020 barker biography of valentino:
But with his trusted crew chief Jerry Burgess and most of his other team members from the Honda garage agreeing to defect with him, Rossi had the crew he needed, not only to win but also to enjoy his racing. It was a heartening display of loyalty and something of a risk for all involved. ‘When I announced to the mechanics that I was going with Valentino they said, “I’m coming too,”’ Burgess later explained. ‘Some of those guys were leaving very secure jobs and taking a big gamble.’
the group also survived the move to ducati (obviously a deeply frustrating two years not just for the guy riding the bike) and the move back to yamaha. but then, valencia 2013, valentino announced his decision to fire jb in a press conference organised for the pair of them. his 2013 season had been deeply frustrating - yes, he had gotten a podium in his first race beating both marc and dani, but after that generally speaking he couldn't come close to matching the other aliens when healthy. he was comfortably the fourth best rider that year, scrapping and clawing his way through midfield battles and having to rely on misfortunes befalling the three title contenders to achieve his podiums and his sole victory at assen. he was considering retiring at the end of the 2014 season once his current contract expired, but wanted to try everything he could to see whether he could be competitive again against the world's very best. and so, he made the decision to roll the dice and get himself a new crew chief, the italian silvano galbusera
now I have to say, personally I have a lot of time for this decision (even if it was maybe not... uh, enacted in the most graceful of manners, given how sudden it was). I come from a sports background where a certain ruthlessness in personnel decisions is encouraged and generally praised - if something isn't working, you should have the courage to make a change, even if it's deeply uncomfortable (including on an interpersonal level). also, while it was a sudden departure, it's not like burgess was that keen on sticking around much longer (again from the same oxley book):
Valentino ended his collaboration very suddenly at the end of 2013. Burgess was shocked but not too much, because he already knew that he was coming to the end of his own career. "When it ended for me I'd already been doing it 30-odd years and I'd told Valentino a few weeks earlier that I wasn't going to sign any more multi-year contracts. I was 60 by then, so I'd go year by year. I'd already signed a contract for 2014, but I would've thought if we hadn't had any more success by then that there wasn't much point in continuing. I felt we would win more races but I was more doubtful about championships. "I'd read enough sporting biographies to know that sportsmen change their coaches towards the end of their careers. It can give them a spike in results but it doesn't change the overall story. Looking back, Valentino's career went on longer than I expected. He enjoyed some success but no more championships and that's what you race for. Of course he was in the unique position of being able to get a factory bike until he retired. He was very special and deserved everything he got."
which, look. again, personal bias, but to me it's reasonable to part ways with somebody who doesn't think any more titles are plausible, because at that point it's just somebody who has a very different view on your career than you do and may well not stick around for much longer anyway. also, at the end of the day, jb was wrong! valentino came extremely close to winning another title, and just because he didn't, doesn't change the fact he could have. if it had rained on the 8th of november 2015 in valencia, we might be having a very different conversation. (or if they hadn't changed the bloody qualifying format post-2012.) honestly, if the 2016 and to a lesser extent the 2017 season had gone just a little differently - a working bike in mugello here and an unbroken leg there - he could have been a genuine title threat in two more seasons. in any case, what it does show is that valentino even at the end of 2013 was still as determined as ever, was ready to engage in what was a huge gamble (given how almost all his success had come with the highly decorated jb) on the off chance he might find what it took to win again. this will not have been an easy decision for valentino. here's a write-up of the presser at valencia, that stresses how uncomfortable the occasion was, how surprising a decision it was to jb, but how publicly at least there was a lack of recriminations (which, to be fair, wouldn't be much fun to do in a shared presser):
(you'll note that the phrasing in the presser about athletes attempting to extend their carrers by changing things up is echoed in what he says in that book interview where he adds that it doesn't change the overall story, again suggesting he didn't really believe valentino would be competitive. he also uses the same phrasing in ANOTHER interview that confirms as much, but I think you get the point.) valentino said at the time, "it was a very difficult decision for me because I have a great history with jeremy. he is not just my chief mechanic. he is like part of my family. my father in racing". this is somebody he'd been working with since age 21, somebody who is not only revered within the paddock for his work with several of the sport's greats but is also a man who valentino obviously has a close personal connection to. meeting for the first time when vale snuck into the honda pit to check out the bike he might ride next season, hitting it off immediately, countless rowdy dinners together, parties, jb and another older colleague sitting back when food fights started, watching valentino grow up, working with him throughout all his big manufacturer switches, all his successes and all his failures... as much as anything else, it's evidence of how strong vale's desire to win was, how determined he continued to be, to make this choice at this stage of his career. and jb was open to the idea (at least publicly) that it might end up being a smart call:
the 'dirtiest' part of the whole affair is how it was actually carried out - it's not great form to tell your crew chief the day before you end up doing a press conference together to announce your choice. for whatever it's worth, this is how valentino justified the timeline:
and lastly, which I think is the most key part, is valentino's belief. because at the end of the day, the only reason why he's doing any of this, and the only reason why what was to come was possible at all, is that he himself still thought that he could challenge for another title - as much as that belief had come under strain:
now what this piece also goes on to say is that nobody believes this will work. nobody believes that firing jb will lead to better results. people expect that this is going to lead to his retirement, quite possibly at the end of 2014. it's worth just remembering sometimes how extraordinary valentino's return to the top of the game post-2013 really was, how it went against how we expect a rider's competitive lifecycle to work, went far beyond the longevity exhibited by any top rider before or since - all while going up against riders who are widely believed to be some of the best to ever do it. valentino beat jorge in both 2014 and 2016, and remains one of two people to outscore prime marc marquez over the course of a season. not to engage in too much rossi prop here, but sepang 2015 can't really be understood without all the frustration that led up to it, to this one golden chance, this miracle that everybody had believed to be impossible (sometimes even valentino). this wasn't supposed to be happening. it was happening. and then, so so close to the finish line, valentino could feel it slipping, slipping, slipping away
but of course, we still don't know whether changing crew chiefs is the key factor that made him competitive again. maybe he just needed a bit longer to get back into the swing of things post-ducati disaster. maybe the bikes just started to suit him better. hey, maybe it was that nifty exercise regime he'd engaged in a wee spot of espionage for so that he could pinch it off his teammate. what we can say, however, is that valentino's choice both tells us a lot about his mindset, as well as (to finally bring us back to the actual point of this post) representing a massive shift in his 'entourage'. this is what briggs is referring to in his quote - the italians. the new crew chief. the people who couldn't stand up to valentino. now obviously, as mentioned above briggs had worked with jb for the better part of twenty years and can hardly be considered a neutral party. here were briggs' feelings on the matter (yeah it's from the same oxley book again, I got it new for eighteen quid which is a very generous price, would recommend):
When JB was out at the end of 2013 it was like losing my mechanic dad. I remember being in the garage when we found out about it. Then they arranged a kind of farewell, a kind of hodgepodge farewell. It was terrible, I didn't like any of it. I was just hiding behind one of the bikes in the garage, crying, going, what's going on here? It didn't seem right to me. I think maybe Valentino thought he would get faster again sooner, but I think it took at least a year to get the taste of the Ducati out of his mouth. I think if he'd stayed with JB we would've won the championship in 2015.
which. look. we don't have time to unpack all that. but. the point is that obviously briggs wasn't exactly a massive fan of the change within valentino's team, and his comments about the 2015 season do have to be read with that in mind. as to whether vale really would have done better in 2015 with jb at his side, your guess is as good as mine. all that being said, a part of me wonders how much losing that grounding presence enabled valentino's late-2015 spiral. maybe not in terms of talking valentino out of the great big fluctuating lap times treachery theory - to state the obvious, valentino got himself involved in plenty of drama during jb's time as a crew chief. jb himself occasionally helped add fuel to the fire in those feuds, like his infamous comment about how he would be able to fix the ducati's issues in 80 seconds that casey still brings up every three business days (the comments were poorly phrased but also somewhat taken out of context, in that jb was talking about a specific set-up problem). he's generally been pretty happy to be forthright about valentino's rivals, for instance this about casey:
My feeling at the time was that Casey probably only had one game plan, and having watched Casey over the years, he doesn't have a plan B. If it doesn't go his way from the outset, it's probably one of the weaknesses that he had through the youth that he had, through the lack of experience that he had. That's not a criticism of him per se, he was still only 22 at the time.
(this is about laguna seca 2008 and how he helped valentino win that race, including in plotting out vale's rather ruthless tactics - which casey was of course not exactly a fan of.) or these. uh. harsh comments about dani from spring 2010:
Q: Is that atmosphere or track knowledge? Is it like the Spanish finding something extra at the racetracks in Spain? JB: Well, therein we show the weakness, don't we? If you can get up on that weekend, on the technical racetracks of Spain, why can't you get up on the technical racetracks like Australia, where the Italians do? Lorenzo is a guy who will and does. Stoner has been able to get up on tracks all over the world. Unfortunately, Dani Pedrosa's into his 6th year in MotoGP, and he's won 8 races, Jorge Lorenzo's two months into his 3rd and he's won 6. It's night and day between those two, is the way I see it. Dani's an extremely fast rider, but a shockingly poor racer. Q: Were you surprised at Jerez [2010] when Pedrosa fought back when Lorenzo passed him? JB: When did Dani fight back? With two laps to go, and he didn't even get close enough to try to come back. Dani has never been a fighter in races, he's a lovely kid, don't get me wrong, but you can see that Lorenzo, having Pedrosa in front of him, it was never going to be the way he was going to finish that race. He was going to finish on the ground or he was going to finish in front of Pedrosa. That's the sort of race that we want, we had that with Biaggi and Valentino, and from history with Schwantz and Rainey. All the good riders have always had somebody they have had to put the target on the back of. It was Doohan and Gardner, and Doohan won that battle hands down, and I think Jorge Lorenzo's going to win this battle [with Pedrosa] hands down.
kind of a dick! so his attitude to valentino being valentino has generally been a) well having enemies is good, actually, with an added slice of b) good luck to his enemies :) - see also this quote (from the barker biography) in the context of the gibernau rivalry:
And that made Rossi even more dangerous, as Jerry Burgess pointed out: ‘Valentino is the sort of rider I wouldn’t want to get angry. He can take you apart on the track.’
so yes, jb is also perfectly brutal in his own right, as you presumably have to be to work alongside valentino so closely for so long. he is, however, also somebody valentino has a massive amount of respect for, somebody who helped turn him into a legend and is responsible for a lot of vale's success - not least, of course, in the pivotal move to yamaha. he was replaced by a man of a far far lesser stature in the sport, one who presumably would have been grateful to valentino for the biggest job he was ever going to get. if briggs is right and there was a shift in valentino in 2015, surrounded as he was by italians (derogatory) who could not stand up to him, who allowed valentino to insist on war and peace on the pit boards, to focus more and more on things that had nothing to do with riding... it would be going a little too far to say that valentino was missing an adult in the room given he was, in fact, in his thirties and should have been capable of being that adult. and who knows what jb would have said or thought or done about the great big childhood hero deception theory. but sepang 2015 was the culmination of a lot of things, including a pressure cooker of a season that grew more and more tense and put more and more stress on everyone involved - perhaps for none more so than valentino. maybe, just maybe, if he'd had somebody around him with fifteen years of experience in handling him, who could have just occasionally told him to knock it off, to concentrate on the racing, to keep things simple (always jb's defining philosophy), to maybe not get so wrapped up in the great big spanish collusion theory...
or maybe it wouldn't have mattered! maybe we're getting cause and effect all wrong here; maybe valentino was deliberately fashioning his entourage into one that was only going to give him positive feedback. maybe he would have just stopped listening to jb, maybe the very decision to fire jb makes it clear he was no longer interested in what jb had to say. it's a tragedy, after all! maybe it was always going to go like this. maybe it was always going to end like this
speaking of entourages, marc's manager played a bit of a cameo role in fanning the flames just a little further (article from marca, 26/10/2015):
alzamora obviously will be somebody valentino is familiar with, having raced him in 125cc and also having just coexisted in the paddock over the years. valentino could of course be lying, but idk, why would he? he's already made his case by this point, and what if alzamora were to contradict him? if it's true and this conversation did happen, you do have to say it's a spectacularly unhelpful intervention from alzamora. even if marc was mad at valentino, why the hell are you telling valentino this AFTER sepang 2015? what's the plan here buddy
^ 1999 world champions: alzamora in 125cc, vale in 250cc and alex criville in 500cc. people think motogp lore is complicated but if you know like, five guys, you're set for about twenty years of drama
which does get to the heart of the matter - a lot of these people have big egos and their own agendas and they love to run their mouths. they like talking a big game and getting involved in things they really shouldn't be getting involved in. is reed right that these people in the riders' entourages 'created the drama'? well, no, I think the two men at the centre of this particular tragedy were plenty capable of doing that themselves. nevertheless, you can point to how professional sports (and motogp in particular) forces you to rely heavily on a small group of people to keep you sane at the centre of the storm, and the risks that can emerge when that small group collectively unmoors itself from reality. you can point to the perils of fame, both in making your reliance on your inner circle so unnegotiable as well as in providing you with the status and power and ego to ignore anyone who might wish to change your mind. you can point to specific figures in this story who managed to incite the conflict between the two of them, as well as how the pressure cooker competitive environment they were operating within helped set up the ultimate catastrophe. you can point to how valentino lacked anyone with the power to stop him - both in the direct sense of forcing him to reconsider and the indirect sense of commanding his respect enough to make him see sense. maybe, just like in 2004, valentino had simply been "looking for an excuse" and he was always headed down this path. or maybe if somebody had just held him back a little that year, kept him focused on his riding, maybe if the right person had intervened at the right time...
maybe, maybe, maybe. that's why it's a tragedy
#brr brr#idol tag#//#i get the sense he's unpopular on here but EYE will miss lin jarvis. i think he's funny sorry. him and his certifiably insane employees#i loveeee that media scrum love his very dry lil summary of events acting like we're not so so far down the rabbit hole#anon: man fuck that ipad stand#me: lemme tell you a tale about a man called jerry burgess and the daddy issues he inspired in multiple grown men#and yes the fact that valentino unceremoniously dumped his 'paddock father' is. interesting :) i get him ughhh#also on the flip side i am curious what kind of conversations were going on in the marc camp during that sepang weekend#alzamora's two big contributions to the rosquez saga: 1) trying to stop marc from going to the ranch#and 2) telling vale that marc was mad at him for argentina and assen and in doing so helping back up vale's theory#what was he cooking#batsplat responds
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why is this so wonderfully threatening
#the eerie undertone of threatening unease actually has big humbug vibes#so a very fitting way to command people attend a humbug era show tbh#also the fact that matt is miming alex’s words only makes it more disorienting#i love them a stupid amount#arctic monkeys#am vid#alex turner#matt helders#nick o'malley#jamie cook#lulu posts
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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writing blood drinking / neck biting feels me with a similar joy to what smut does and i just think thats neat.
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#editing my drafts and finishing a certain one made me very :)#ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS MY OTHER BLOG KNOWS THESE FACTS: a.) i love vampire muses.#b.) i love writing vampires taking others blood im sorry rip#c.) i also have an adoration for biting / neck biting ... esp as a slight show of possessiveness.#every time someone lets me indulge i am very !!!!!!#YOU CANNOT SHIP WITH ME W/O EXPECTING YOUR MUSE IS GOING TO GET BITTEN AT LEAST ONCE. probably more closer to countless of times#who knows ...#i will one day soon talk about my vamp!dil.uc au i got cooking in my head from last year :^)#its basic but i love it
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Gratitude time
#today im doing it because it's easy and im overflowing with thankful things#very often i do it because it's hard#probably good to remember it CAN be easy#anyway#thankful for my team im gonna be travelling with and the enciuragement they are#its good to remember i am not on this ceazy ride alone#thankful for a genuinely good rich fulfilling day of class/prep#and the stories of God’s amazing provision from an incredible middle eastern guy who shared with us#and for the moroccan lady i met who now somehow is cooking us lunch tomorrow so now i get to try moroccan food#and her hospitality#and for a good comfy bed and the gift of a private room this qeek#and wifi cuz hey that's a bonus (not to be taken for granted this next month)#and a remarkable number of solutions for dumb lil problems#and for the fact that my goodby with The Boy tonight (the big goodbye. for 8 months)#which both of us were dreading because yknow the Big Sad#didnt actually hit either of us emotionally while we were together#which was such a gift. we got to spend 3 hours together just being peaceful and present and having good conversations#and thinking about how to do dating well this year#and praying together#and it was just. so good#and i am so so glad i get to date him this year and share this crazy thing with him even though itvis gonna be really really hard sometimes#and he made me a bracelet to take with me 🥺
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The Story Behind The Song: Arctic Monkeys’ early ambitions on ‘A Certain Romance’
Lucy Harbron – Far Out Magazine | January 17, 2024
It was 2006. Mortgages were crashing, and businesses were going bust. Tony Blair was on his last legs in office as the longest-serving prime minister since Margaret Thatcher, and the hangover of ‘Cool Brittania’ was beginning to set in with an unexpected ferocity. Things were bleak when a young Alex Turner sang, “There ain’t no romance around there” through the public’s speakers. Arctic Monkeys were about to write themselves into musical history as the voice of a new generation.
The final song on their debut album, there has always been something special about ‘A Certain Romance’. In 2022, after the release of their seventh album, The Car, Turner seemed to find himself reflecting back on that 2006 track. To the musician, that early cut holds a clue to everything that was to come as he said the piece “showed that we did actually have these ambitions beyond what we once thought we were capable of”.
Coming in at over the five-minute mark, ‘A Certain Romance’ almost feels like the Arctic Monkeys’ version of a rock opera, summarising all the themes, feelings and energy that came before it on their seminal album Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not. It has the cheekiness of ‘Fake Tales Of San Francisco’ and the catchy instrumentals of hits like ‘Dancing Shoes’ or ‘I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor’. Utilising the northern charm of ‘Mardy Bum’, it stands as a final, neatly summarising point on the social commentary found in their early tracks like ‘From The Ritz To The Rubble’ or ‘Riot Van’. Really, it could be argued that ‘A Certain Romance’ is the ultimate example of Arctic Monkeys’ original sound, perfectly encapsulating all the things that made the world listen up and pay attention.
It’s like they seemed to know that, too, always allowing the song a special place. In fact, it was really the band’s opening remark. Years before the offer of a debut album came around, the group were a well-oiled machine with their own local hits. They had the northern live music scene in their hands as their homemade demo CD was passed around like everyone’s worst-kept secret. Beneath the Boardwalk features eight out of the 13 songs that would be on Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, albeit in a slightly different, lower-quality version. But the opening number, ‘A Certain Romance’, sounds just the same.
It’s all there, from the rolling opening drums to that final guitar solo. Recorded and produced in a rented studio at only age 17, the existence of ‘A Certain Romance’, one of the band’s most explorative and energetic numbers, in this form this early in their career feels like a diamond sitting in a mine. It proves that they were always onto something special.
They never needed any help. In fact, their producer, Jim Abbiss, noted that they even seemed nervous about the help. “I think they were probably a bit weary, like ‘who’s this guy? And is he gonna make our sound this or that.’”
They didn’t want anything to change too much, as the group already had the songs figured out. Turner certainly did, as the track’s meandering narrative about hometown lads, fights, and local boredom is already there. Talking on a podcast, original member Andy Nicholson revealed the story behind the song. “We had a practice room with a pool table in, and we had a party in there, and we invited another band who were friends of ours, and we all had some drinks,” he said. “Then something happened, someone throws a pool cue, someone throws a pool ball, and everyone ends up fighting,” he added, explaining the lyrics, “there’s boys in bands / And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands.”
But the magic of Arctic Monkeys lies in their nuance. What begins as a snooty analysis of his local landscape is a genuinely affectionate take. “Well, over there, there’s friends of mine / What can I say? I’ve known ’em for a long long time / And, yeah, they might overstep the line / But you just cannot get angry in the same way,” Turner sings, looking around at his bandmates and lifelong friends. ‘A Certain Romance’ is not only a time capsule for the group’s beginnings but is an ode to all the people who were there with them. It’s an ode to the hometown that made them and all its various characters.
But as the last guitar solo roars to life, there is an unspoken statement that they’re going to be bigger than what they came from. “I remember when we were recording ‘A Certain Romance’ and having a conversation with the producer about the final guitar solo,” Turner told NME, recalling the moment these songs were reworked for their debut. But they wouldn’t let anyone mess with ‘A Certain Romance’, knowing exactly what they were doing and trying to say with that one. In the 2003 demo version, all the feeling is already there, and Turner wouldn’t risk it.
“There’s something that happens at the end of that track where we break some rules in a single moment,” he continued. What happens at the end of the piece feels even more special, considering how the album was recorded. “These are the songs we wanna do, and I think this is the order we wanna do them in,” Alex Turner told their producer, recounting the conversation in 2007 to RadioX, “And he goes, ‘alright, we’ll try to record them in that order as well.’” As the final song, that last guitar solo is the last thing recorded for the album, standing as a cathartic outlet and a chance for the band to prove themselves.
“We focused on the [emotional] effect of the instrumentals over the words,” Turner reflected on the track, concluding, “and I feel like we’ve been trying to do that again and again since then.”
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#I could talk about 'A Certain Romance' until I'm blue in the face or a sobbing mess#lucy did a good job on this one#she perfectly encapsulated how this song makes me feel#the moment I heard it I knew that this band was something incredibly special#it is so near and dear to my heart I will never stop singing it's praise#the fact they made this song that is so compelling and takes you an emotional journey from the beginning to end over 20 years ago????#and how protective they were of it when making the first album cause they knew it was something special#and Alex drawing similarities between 'ACR' and 'The Car' & letting the instrumental moments of the song convey more emotion than the lyri#like he always said they continue to follow the same instincts from the very beginning nearly 20 years later#i just want to write an ode to ACR so i can ramble on about it#but im gonna shut up for now#anyways please enjoy this article LOL#arctic monkeys#wpsiatwin#whatever people say i am that's what im not#a certain romance#alex turner#jamie cook#matt helders#nick o'malley#andy nicholson#far out magazine
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first draft of a new oc 🎃
#ivy moon art#my oc#new oc#my art#my original character#original character#character reference#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#I have been entertaining the name Ghost but it may or may not stick#already mostly done with the second draft so that will go up soon too lol#they are going to belong to the same universe as my other oc Hazel!#fun fact a friend of mine -who shall go un-named- has been referring to them as Vampire Peen c':#there is a Lot cooking for this character#but one inspiration behind them is that folk tale of leaving a pumpkin out on a full moon will turn it into a vampire#I am using this inspiration Very Loosely lol
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Yeah ok more bo I MEAN completely normal barnacleses. barnaci? barncle. barnanc NEVERMIND
In all seriousness I think the part BB loves most about being the Captain is that he’s got that big voice and confidence to match and it has FUN with it. Gets Extra when saying his catchphrases and stuff yk
Also some cute quirks it has <3 BB’s actually adorable I can’t even deny it anymore (either that or my old crush on Barnacles is acting up) COUGHS ANYWAYS
#up next: they are Interacting >:)#octonauts#hershel’s octonauts au#captain barnacles#the boogie board incident#sighs. i need to seriously look at how boogie interacts with the alternate crew.#the ''no ye fuckin aint'' kwazii with a gun image was funny but what would he Actually Do In That Situation ... hmmmmmmm#i'd imagine that they'd ALL know that this is NOT their captain and they'd call bb out almost instantly#unless bb was really trying and using his actual colours and without the smile thing then it would fool them for like.. a week. give or tak#the crew would get increasingly more suspicious though and ESPECIALLY when he smiles because bb's real grin would probably shine through#another thing i'd like to consider is that. everyone is still. animals. right. do you think dashi knows her crew's scents ??? genuinely-#if she DOES she'd be one of the first to figure it out. bb would NOT smell like barnacles#OHH ANOTHER THING. bb's blood/flesh/etc works different from normal animal blood/flesh/etc. so if 'barnacles' gets an injury#something is gonna be Very Odd about it. peso would notice that#for a while because of that fact bb would absolutely try to hide any injuries small or big. granted barnacles already does that...#so it wouldn't be TOO suspicious........#man i am COOKING. anyways POST THE DAMN THING
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No crafting update today, because I did a bunch of cleaning, ran some errands (had to mail some stuff and get a replacement headset for work because mine spontaneously separated into two pieces yesterday) and now I'm making chicken and dumplings for dinner So like, got a lot done, but absolutely none of it craft related and I'm really pushing my limits physical spoons-wise (in that my POTS is flaring up not in that I used all the actual spoons cooking lol) I have a really really cool art trade thing to show y'all but it has to wait until I can take photos, so that'll be later today or maybe tomorrow
#the person behind the yarn#crafting update#food mention#chicken and dumplings is perhaps an odd choice considering how hot it currently is outside#and the fact that the AC is not working correctly in my house#but my dad asked for it for fathers day#so...chicken and dumplings it is!#I just looked at the thermostat and it's 80 in my house right now I no longer feel even slightly bad#about hitting the metaphorical wall so hard pots-wise#because this morning I was feeling GREAT and I was like I can DO THINGS I will CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE#and then I got back from shopping and was like I will...sit down#sitting down is what I will do until cooking time#and I didn't know why but it's 80 inside!!#and like yeah 80 isn't thaaaat hot but I am very very sensitive to heat. anything over 76 I start wilting#well okay with my new meds I can actually tolerate up to like 78 most days#but 80 is Too Hot#for anyone new confused as to why I don't tolerate heat when it's not really that hot: I have salt wasting syndrome and POTS#heat is a dilates blood vessels (bad for POTS) and makes you sweat (losing even more salt)#I visibly wilt like a dramatic houseplant lol
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Not done quite yet but I'm getting so close to finally finishing this bad boy. May need to rearrange things a bit bc I also want to include a few other bits of info, but I'm really excited about this!
Also this is the 'poster'/single sheet version - there will be individual smaller images w/ pieces rearranged, bc I realize zooming in and out can be annoying. And I'll share a folder w/ all of the recipes saved individually, so if anyone wants to make their own cheat sheet they can!
#salem tag#most of this isn't final at all but I am excited about the uniform columns for the crafting and cooking recipes#those took AGES to settle on and were very finicky#also your fun fact for today is that you can eat dog food in this. it doesnt give you those perks but you can eat it#salem art
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Venting here continues to be the solution to my problems, guess who just successfully made and ate TWO (2) whole quesadillas!
#was i fighting demons the whole time? yeah. but thats besides the point.#what matters is i DID IT!#also once again distracting myself from the fact that i am cooking/eating is very helpful#kept myself occupied with an article for school and it helped loads#eating mention#ecdysing
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honestly, roche is so easy sometimes bc if you give him the smallest amount of praise and comfort he’s yours bc he’s just been that affection starved for a good while
#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moghome . [ ooc ]#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moogle's cooking show . [ hc ]#roche ‘i’d bleed for anything if it held me the right way’ beaufort#i like toying around with the ways roche obtains self value tbh#also the fact he does see himself as weapon#he calls cloud his friend but doesn’t? know how to display that friendship. it’s based entirely on fighting each other#i feel like his morals are in conflict with where he is right now#but i also don’t think he greets desertion as easily as he’d like either#he’s very. ‘what else is there for me; should i survive?’#which is why he just keeps doing what he does but… paradoxically being in shinra also gives him meaning and identity#bc he never even got to explore his initially aspired avenues. he became SOLDIER at 13-14 and that was that#now he’s 25 and he’s like. ‘would i be able to live normally? what if i don’t want normal? what if this is who i am now?’#i’d love to write roche as a madman who gives no fucks but i sincerely find that boring#i want to give him inner conflict and that friction between his morals vs his identity
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God
#sat here bawling over this for a bit.#'how glad am i to have you talk that way.' what if i exploded.#there's so much to history and i think the just? kindness of this is making me absolutely cry.#anyway#very good.#belgica#edit - okay so this might be Cook's him x Amudsen fanfic#regardless of that fact COOK STILL WROTE IT??#okay yeah thats it.
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sorry asking this out of pure curiosity in response to your tiramasu post tags, would you dip the biscuits in coffee as well as coat them in jam? thank you, im trying to get better at making them :)
Short answer : I use two types of cookies/biscuits so one is coated in jam and the other is dumped in coffee
LONG ANSWER, HERE'S MY RECIPE (in grams and cl, sorry)
INGREDIENTS (for 4 big servings)
16 biscuits (the recipe calls for "sponge fingers" or whatever they are called but we use Petit Brun biscuits) 10 hard amaretti cookies 5cl rhum 2 teaspoons of marsala 2 teaspoons of cognac 15cl of coffee (bitter to your taste) 3 tablespoons of apricot jam 425g mascarpone 2 eggs (separate white and yolk) 4 tablespoons of icing sugar 125g bitter chocolate powder (I just grate some chocolate tablet to my taste) (that means a lot more than 125g)
INSTRUCTIONS
you're supposed to put the amaretti cookies in the oven for 10 minutes at 190°C. but I never do that. it's supposed to take out the moisture?
Put half of the rhum with the coffee and cognac on the biscuits (I just put the liquids in a bowl and dump the biscuits quicky in it then crush them at the bottom of my molds. don't leave them too long or they'll fall apart)
That's your bottom layer
In one bowl whip the yolks with the marsala
Ad the ice sugar and rhum
In a second bowl whip the whites
Ad the mascarpone to the whites
Mix the two bowls together (usually I go w most liquid one goes in the most solid one)
Pour half of that over the biscuits, keep the rest for the top layer
Coat the amaretti cookies with the jam. (my mother and I crush them to have an even coating, but you do you)
That's your third layer
Cover with the second half of the mascarpone/egg mix for the final layer
-> Keep for 6 hours to a night in the fridge so it hardens well.
Cover with chocolate powder or grated chocolate before serving
NOTES
-> That's a lot of alcohol so usually I just stick to 2 spoonfuls of white cooking rhum, it works
-> You can also replace the cookies by speculoos, it's more sugary but it's great too, sometimes I replace both the cookies and biscuits with speculoos
-> Usually I just crush the biscuits at the bottom of my molds and crush the amaretti with the jam too. My mom crushes the biscuits but leaves the amaretti intact
#it looks intimidating but once you've done it once and fucked it up#the second time will be relatively painless#it's pretty easy to make and pretty quick since there's no cooking time#but I am a very impatient and forgetful person so#so far I haven't made this recipe the way it's supposed to be made#and I did try a good dozen times#it's delicious! every time it fucks! and that's what counts!#fun fact : if you accidentally buy half the mascarpone you're supposed to use it's fine also#another fun fact : if you use speculoos it's barely noticeable if you forget the sugar smh#another fun fact : don't use too much rhum and don't mix ALL of it with the bottom layer oh god don't do that
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