#i am going to do homework first
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seeing as i'll be on for the rest of the day. i am in need of more threads because why not. so, like this for a REVERSE STARTER CALL !! if you don't have any opens, i can make a starter for us.
#i am going to do homework first#work on drafts and then get to these#indie rp#indie horror rp#independent rp#open to mutuals and non-mutuals
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hydrangea blue never broke my heart🫶
#hi#me#my face#selfie#mirror selfie#the classic#girls with tattoos#girls who lift#cute girl#first actual gym set lol#penguin socks#wombats#I should eat but the lack of appetite is astounding#by the way#it's sad girl hours#still#be my friend#FRIEND#I SAID FRIEND SO CALM DOWN BEFORE YOU SAY YOU'RE HARD#anybody wanna fight in a parking lot????#message me#we have so much potential to start a gc with a cool name#hot girl shit#I also got super bright pink leggings and black ones and a purple shirt and like I am riding this high#should I go for a pb&j????#I still need to do homework#whack#I love yall#love me#later taters
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Do you have more Moby Dick: Modern Translation chapters anywhere that certain interested parties (me and everyone with taste) could read?
In reference to this translation of Moby Dick into insufferable modern idiom, in which Ishmael is suddenly shown up in a startling light as a person we’ve actually met and knew well but didn’t really like:
I’m sorry, I haven’t written any more of that! After chapter 1’s mad rush of energy, the book tackles more tricky, boring and unfunny content, including passages that are just uncomfortably problematic in any time; and, like, entire chapters about listening to a church sermon.
A line translation (and that is mostly a very faithful line translation! The only thing I regret not doing was perfectly capturing the fart joke!) apparently has a lot of educational value, and helps to reframe the whole novel. That’s worthy work! But i simply wouldn’t want to do a line translation on the next few chapters. My brain is picking daisies instead, already. I would say: “sorry, I’m abridging this for my own mental health. You’re eligible for a free refund.” In which case the educational value is negligible (you can just read the plot summary online. There’s a really big whale in it.)
Anyone else who wants to take a stab at it (FROM HELL’S HEART) would be welcome and I’ll gladly promote your efforts. It’s just. I am going
🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼
- come here let me measure your head
#🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼#I’m flirtatiously making the hyphens green 😙#mody bick#moby dick#also to be completely fair that’s the kind of thing I should take my time over and do properly#and that always triggers something in my head like#probably should seek to do it properly and get paid#sorry for banging on about that all the time#as always I am startlingly broke it’s the first week of the month and I’m shatteringly broke ✌️#so I get cross and grumpy#and go I should work out some kind of thing where I get paid#and then proceed not to do that and complain instead.#at least I’m self aware about it.#but yeah brain sees an assignment like that translating a whole#book into another language and goes you’d have to pay someone with an English degree ten thousand dollars to do that#like first chapter is funny haha but the INSTANT it tips into homework!!!!#I start calling the union#and our union is like. the nerd union.#and I call them mentally going GUARDS! I started doing a Bit and it turned into#homework in my head and now I don’t wanna.
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i have. too many things to do.
#and of course what i WANT to do is write fanfic and read the ten different books i want to read and make art just for fun#and also be a couch potato and watch youtube videos for a couple hours with no guilt#but i was sick for a week and that's a week's worth of missed classes and homework i'm now trying to catch up on#in addition to new stuff#and i was already falling a bit behind in a couple classes because they don't have enough structure for me#and like. i'm managing. i'm getting stuff done.#but it's exhausting to know that tomorrow when i only have to go to one class i will be spending all day on homework#....i need to not tell myself that. i need to build in space for breaks or i will burn myself out#i do not want to be at risk of burnout in the first month of school with an intentionally very low courseload#this is just. so frustrating and stressful#and i'm coping. but i wish i didn't have to#vent#school stress#stars rambles#i am somewhat grateful that needing something to wind down from homework with has made me excited to write fic for the first time in months#but the downside of that is that i do not have enough time right now
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I keep drinking coffee thinking it's gonna make me Productive and then instead of doing the work I actually have to do I just compulsively make spreadsheets :(
#my homework is. not done#but!!! i just realized if i take 2 spanish classes i can have a russian/spanish major instead of just russian#(it's complicated but this would leave me with: double major languages and history with a joint major in asian middle east studies)#(plus a minor in religious studies and concentration in islamicate studies)#first i gotta: relearn spanish for like the third time#but it's ok i'm hopping thru spain in less than a month so i should proooobably do that anyway#man when i was touring colleges my mom was like really dismissive about the idea of double majoring and now i'm here like#How Many Things Can I Stack Up To Get Big Number On Transcript#aaaaaaaand because of ames requirements i did the dumb thing and ended up learning persian while my spanish is still kinda iffy#итак совершилося то что я пытался предотвратить as they say#so i'm just gonna have to study two languages at once next semester... or just keep going thru the cycle of relearning them abt every year#my russian is a big girl it can survive on its own but i now gotta feed the babiessssss#tho ig what this kinda cyclically learning and forgetting spanish has taught me is like#languages are less like babies and more like those lil desert plants that wither up when they don't have any water#they might look dead but they're nearly impossible to kill completely#and will bounce right back after a lil care n patience. i just gotta like.... water em#the one thing standing in my way is ideological opposition to my spanish textbook#i have to pay $200 for access to a *website*#*i don't even get a book just a shitass ebook*#but it's ok one of the spanish profs likes me i think? i think she would let me skip the intro lit class#only problem is it was Genuinely Hard for me to follow along when i audited advanced lit... 90% of the class was heritage speakers#tho ig like. having taken a class meant for native russian speakers should help w learning to survive that kinda thing#genuinely i think i can do it#just gotta make that my goal. study. do it for zapata#and if i wanna go into translating... having good spanish should help right? like if i finally get b2 spanish?#yeah. if i could do kazakh history for native russian speakers i can do spanish lit for heritage spanish speakers. it's equivalent enough#but ok i'm gonna visit my buddy in spain who did nearly the exact same shitass majors combination as me#tho i think he did spanish/arabic for his language major and just Happens To Also Be Fluent In Russian cuz he's Like That#it's ok he's two years older than me i have two years to become that cool#he can tell me what to do
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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learning cookout is an entirely southern thing breaks my heart...the whole world should experience drunk cookout............................its life changing
#i am going to get cheese curds and a shake tonight#i just need to do homework first#its so sad to me.......#the whole world deserves cookout
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i will gaslight myself into finally doing a drawing today i've been meaning to do for at least three weeks
#it's a wonder what actually sleeping enough#does to me#i feel actually good???#i also had a cold and my voice is still all fucked up#but i'm feeling productive#i hope i have time because i also have to do a lot of homework still#i didn't expect so much homework on week 3#but i prefer to be on top of it and not leave it to the end of the semester#which is very crowded anyway#and my first batch of exams are in three weeks#so i have to start grinding for those too#i am an academic weapon so this is normal for me#but this semester i promised myself to go out more#so tomorrow i am going to a drag show#which is so cool!!!#bee's incoherent rambling
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me: having unmedicated ADHD makes it impossible to function
also me: *doing homework for my video game hobby*
#i am mostly laughing at myself#the homework in question is studying a raid we're going to start tonight#and i am struggling with it about as much as i always have#so really part of my 'god i wish i had meds' is that i think this would be easier that way#it's not always about being responsible and doing adult things#unfortuantely there's not really any way to learn mechanics other than videos#and my unmedicated brain HATES video content#so i've been watching a couple minutes at a time for the last two weeks#and i kind of feel like maybe i get the first phase#anyway i'm nervouscited to do my first savage today
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ONLY 4 OVERDUE ASSIGNMENTS NOW 💪🎉
#2 of them i think i am just not going to do. 1 of them i need to do and will be an absolute fucking bitch. 1 of them i should do but will be#easier so i probably will.#my brain is fucking exhausted#tomorrow i have a first date which im excited for then saturday is work + cousin’s 13th bday party + astronomy class extra credit meet up op#portunity which i Desperately need to take advantage of.#then sunday will hopefully be a homework day with my brain refreshed and the adderall shortage resolved (threat)
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Henrow blorbo
first off, ohmyfuckinggodyouaresocoolllllllllllllllll
secondly, what ya workin' on currently? <- is deathly interested, yes please please please info dump if you have the spoons
- Ryan
Bonjour my furry friend. At the moment i'm mostly working on getting a job so that i can afford rent, but when i'm not doing that, i'm working on designing some new N-substituted 5MeO-tryptamines (in order to avoid being banned for breaking tumblr TOS, i can't say exactly what for, but if you look up 5MeO-tryptamines, you should see). So far i've only managed to make things that make me super sleepy (and maybe a tiny bit inebriated), so presumably my body is mainly metabolizing them into melatonin. I also have been working on working through the details of making a rocket engine which relies on both muon catalyzed fusion and z-pinch fusion (mostly because even though i know it's way above what i'm probably capable of, i just love space so much i desperately need to see it for myself and i figure that since rockets are so absurdly expensive, the only way i'll end up in space is if we can get a whole new generation of ultra-efficient rockets (for example, given p-N14 fusion, if we manage to get 1% or more (i don't really expect more than 0.1% max, but still) of the hydrogen fusing with nitrogen, we'd be able to put 150 tons on the moon from earth with only using about enough fuel to fill a small car (instead of needing a skyscraper sized rocket to send maybe 30 tons)). Now, if it were as easy as my calculations show it to be, i can't imagine how there are any rockets flown that aren't fusion, but seeing as i haven't even made a working proof of concept yet, i'm not in a position to criticize the thousands of aerospace engineers who are working on conventional chemical rockets. I love fusion because it's simultaneously so easy (i live pretty close to an old uranium mine where i can actually pan some uranium out of the creek near me, then use that uranium to make a neutron source (B10(α,n)) which is really just fusion between helium and boron, happening at room temperature because of how high energy the α particles released by uranium are) and so absurdly difficult (without catalysts like muons, it requires absurdly high temperatures and pressures that almost always take more energy put in than they can give out). Anyway, i've also been sorta working on studying a material that a while back i got way too excited over and may have called a room temperature superconductor (almost certainly not the case), but in an attempt to make it more pure and study it for real i've been trying to work on the exact calculations of its composition and finding a better way to heat it up to high temperatures (i might just put it in a flat-bottomed flask, especially since it finally warmed up enough for me to go back outside where the fumes released by its production won't make folks mad).
And then there's the biological experiments, currently with electroceutical tissue modifications since most of the other projects i have planned require me to have a gene printer capable of reliably printing genes thousands of base pairs long and i'm not sure when i'll be able to build that. The most recent thing i've been working on is really exciting because if it works it means that i've successfully done something that has never been done before to a human body (and given the long lasting pain in that part of my thigh, it seems very possible it is working), but i'm hesitant about sharing what the project is because i don't really want folks putting gap junction blockers, calcium channel blockers, and sodium channel blockers into open wounds without knowing how to do it safely and correctly to get the desired results and not just a really messed up wound. If/when this experiment turns out well, i might give directions in private, but i'm still somewhat hesitant due to the risks inherent in this (the biggest and most likely is literally giving yourself a form of cancer, something i'm not eager for others to risk). Soon i might try chemical dedifferentiation of skin cells (thinking on my back or upper arms) followed by some mildly dangerous experiments to test how reliably i can make it turn into other cell types. And while i haven't made good work on it in a while, i've also been trying to make something similar to shimmer from arcane (ideally not addictive or harmful to the user, but most importantly the quick energy burst, decreased pain, and increased regenerative abilities (obviously it won't be anywhere near as dramatic as in the show, so calling it shimmer may not really make sense, but it is where i got the inspiration)).
Then i suppose there's the battery project i was talking about in my last post, and i'm also trying to learn how to make alcohol under my desk (i mean, it's super easy, it just doesn't taste great). There might be a few more things i'm working on but rn i'm super eepy and have talked about a lot already. If this seems like i'm doing a lot or impressive, also note that i'm actively failing out of college (for my own pride: the material is super easy and mostly i already know it, i just can't stand wasting so much of my time doing homework that doesn't help anyone or anything) and not yet working a job, so i have a lot of time and so much free brainspace to think about and do all this. I also work very slowly on each thing because i keep bouncing back and forth between all of them and almost always end up adding new projects before i've finished the old ones and so i almost never see a project all the way through to completion (at least some of the bio projects are just sitting in my body and i am just waiting to see how they turn out in the next 2-3 months, so those necessarily will see completion, even if it's failure). I really hope i see the fusion rocket to completion because if i don't think i'll ever be able to see the earth from afar or the moon from up close.
#idk#answer to your ask#i hope this is mostly complete#also wow this is long#that's what she said#i'm kinda surprised how many projects i have#i don't often count them#but yeah here they are#i promise i'm not trying to use this for evil#also college kinda sucks because everyone assumes you know nothing and are incapable of learning#not saying you shouldn't go but just that in my experience it ain't worth it#you can learn so much more from the internet and free courses offered online (oer and mit opencourseware are good starting places)#also now that i've shared these projects i hope that makes me feel more accountable and have more need to actually finish all of them#i have so much schoolwork i gotta do and probably won't#1.37 gpa first semester was impressively bad#legitimately went into college thinking i would be challenged and enjoy it but now it's like#“wow i know all of this and yet i am required to spend 8+ hours on homework each day in order to pass even with perfect test scores”#anyway sorry that probably sounds like i'm being super annoying#these tags are getting super long#byeeeeee
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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brain is screaming and running around like a toddler this week bc of all the changes happening
If I can make it through the end of exams without crying it will be a miracle
#roommates are moving out#which means two sets of parents in the house moving furniture and all that this weekend#next weekend I should say#this weekend is when my roommate’s cat goes home for the last time#this is the last week I have with him and I will miss him dearly#classes are ending so my routine is majorly upended#and a lot of the furniture I’ll be needing for my house after my roommates are gone won’t be here the first week#bc I’m going home to my parents’ house to pick it up over Mother’s Day#which also means I need to buy/make a gift for my mom for Mother’s Day#maybe I’ll do that in autism club today idk#she likes spring decor maybe I’ll paint her some flowers from the photos I’ve taken#and then there’s all the homework I still have to do and all the exams I still have to study for#and I still have to carry on and do my weekly tasks like job and grocery shopping and laundry#like nothing is wrong#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#I am not built to handle change well!!!!!!!
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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ugh didn’t realize having a gf would mean I’d have to like take care of myself and shit how do I uninstall that specific feature. is there a mod for that?
#I am so swamped with homework this week#and usually I’d be in the library until like 2:30 AM#but my gf has been coming to do her homework#and she won’t leave until I leave#because she doesn’t like me walking home by myself that late#and also doesn’t want me being out that late period when I have to wake up early#cuz I guess she wants me to get a goods night sleep or something?#strange I know#but because she won’t leave until I leave it’s like a game of library chicken#but she’s never going to be the one to call it quits first#so I HAVE to go home to make sure she goes home and gets some sleep#girl basically stands on the tracks and forces me to switch the train#it’s a smart tactic like most def the only one that would work on me#but still#wdym she like cares about my well being and wants to make sure I’m doing okay and getting rested and eating smh#mattie talks
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Due to my perpetual follies, I have to write a 12 page paper in a day. Again.
#speculation nation#at least this time im starting midday instead of at 9 pm 👍 look at me go#well rn im eating lunch. then im gonna go back and start on it.#i was using my first part of homework time to write up some multiple choice questions for my presentation#same class. old presentation. i realized late that that was part of the 'outline' i was supposed to do previously lol#this professor doesnt really care about things being late so long as theyre done.#im still gonna get my essay done before class tomorrow tho bc i asked for an extension last essay and i am NOT doing that again.#i can do it. working on fueling rn. then i will Get To Business !!!!!!
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