#mattie talks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mangosrar · 9 months ago

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call it what you want part 11

matt sturniolo x fem reader.

y’all 😋😋😋😋😋😋😋

“do you feel it yet?” he asked. his voice seemed so far away, even though he was lying on the grass next to you less than a foot away.

chris had kept his promise. he let you smoke. and it was just perfect. the sun was hot in the sky, not a single cloud in sight, the warm embrace of the breeze wafting through an empty field washing away every single thought you’d had since the last time you spoke to matt 2 weeks ago, and the buzz from the weed was delightful.

the space inbetween then and now had been torturous, you had to carry on this act with matt, while pretending you hated him, but every time you caught him looking at you, or he pulled you into him, kissing your temple when you were around people, made you want to break down and cry.

but this is just what had to happen, your parents were still furious with you, caden had barely spoken two words to you and jessica was still obsessing over matt. her matt. not yours. he was hers. or so you thought.

a comfortable silence settled over the two of you, while chris awaited your answer, you let out a breath before speaking.

“when does a monster become a monster?” you asked, your jaw felt heavy as you stared up at the sky.

“yeah your definitely feeling it” chris giggled, lifting his head slightly to look at you.

you couldn’t help but laugh too. “i’m serious”

“what do you mean by a monster?” he asked, finally settling back down, and looking at the side of your face.

“like elijah wasn’t mean at first, but it was inevitable, so when does a monster become a monster” you replies, still staring at the sky, blinking slowly.

chris sighed before looking away, and also aiming his eyes up, his hands picking at the grass besides him.

“i mean when is a monster not a monster, because at first, the monster will buy you flowers, and tell you your pretty, let you cry in his arms, and then one day you piss the monster off and he jumps out of the closet to scare you, and now you’re too afraid to sleep in the dark, so you keep a night light on, but it’s not enough, the monster still jumps out on you and you’re still scared” he said.

you were now staring at the side of his face, with your eyebrows pinched together. that was probably the deepest thing chris had ever said.

“maybe that’s why you pushed matt away,” he continued, turning his head to look at you. “because we both know you didn’t want to do that, but it’s just the way you’re wired. you want him in your house but you don’t want him to find your hiding spot, you want him to hold you but he can’t come to close” he breathed.

chris was right. this is what happened. matt got a little too close and your guards came up. every single wall that elijah had built in you rose to the surface, and shut matt out.

“you’re right” you whispered, turning your head away from chris, and back to the sky, before swallowing and resting your hands on your stomach. you suddenly felt vulnerable, like he had just peered into your head and plucked out your thoughts.

“i know i’m right. and i also know that matt is distraught. maybe you guys still have a long way to go, but didn’t you feel like you were getting somewhere?” he asked, still looking at the side of your face.

you swallowed thickly before speaking. “but matt and i won’t work, he wants jessica and i want elijah, he’s just ahead of himself right now” you argued, shaking your head.

“is he?” chris asked quietly, narrowing his eyes at you. you turned your head to look at him with a deep frown. you weren’t actually sure, and the thin line of trying to convince chris or trying to convince your self was becoming blurry.

“he is”.

“he’s not”

“yes he is chris”

“no he’s not y/n”

“he’s actually not sure”. his voice startled both of you. chris almost jumped out of his own skin and you shot up into a sitting position, snapping your head round to look at him.

“chris you told us you were gonna be taking y/n home 2 hours ago” matt said, looking at chris.

“we got a little carried away” he laughed, but your face was droning. you did not find this funny.

“i can see that” matt muttered, darting his eyes over to you briefly. “are you high?” he asked.

you dropped your eyes to the ground, not daring to look at him a second longer. he knew the answer, you didn’t even have to say anything. he just sighed.

“come on, i’ll drive you” his statement was directed towards you but, he was looking at chris. maybe he was too nervous, or maybe it was the fact that he was disappointed, you never smoked, and he knew it was because of him that you were doing it now.

matt made eye contact with you, but you couldn’t look at him. you were ashamed in a way, that this was how he had found you, high, and spewing nonsense.

“i can’t go home high” you whispered to chris. you were suddenly paranoid. and wether it was simply matts presence or the weed you weren’t sure.

“sleepoverrrr” chris giggled in a sing song voice, walking besides you with matt in-front, but you couldn’t even crack a smile. you were mortified that matt had possibly heard what you had said, and now you had to be forced into proximity with him, despite your undying efforts to stay as far away from his as you could for the past 2 weeks while keeping up the act. you had been burning the candle at both ends.

you could throw up. this feeling was horrible. the car felt like it was swaying side to side, and the sound of the music playing over chris and matts voice was pounding in your head.

you rested your head on the window of the car, and closed your eyes, trying to ground yourself. the cold glass was some what comforting.

“y/n you okay?” matt asked, and when you lifted your head and looked up, he was watching you through the centre mirror.

you swallowed and nodded. your mouth was filling with saliva, and your skin felt like it was on fire, and the thrum of the radio playing was making your head spin.

“you look a little pale y/n” chris giggled, turning to look at you from the passenger seat. his eyes were red and almost closed, and he was grinning from ear to ear, he was obviously having a great time, you couldn’t say the same.

you just let out a shakey breath and closed your eyes again.

it felt like hours had passed, and when you felt the car come to a stop, you realised you were on the drive way of the sturniolo house.

chris immediately jumped out of the car, sauntering off into the house.

“you sure you’re okay?” matt said quietly, not moving from his place in the drivers seat.

“yeah i’m fine, i just don’t feel too good, probably car sick or something” you muttered back, keeping your eyes trained down to your hands in your lap.

“yeah” matt whispered, but he did not believe you for one second. he knew you had over done it and you were about to green out.

once you made your move, exiting the car, matt did too. he followed you inside to be met with chris basically incoherent, slouched on the couch, and nick no where to be found.

all of a sudden, your mouth filled with saliva again, and your throat closed.

your feet moved fast, rushing you too the bathroom. you basically collapsed on the floor while emptying the contents of your stomach out into the toilet.

you felt a hand, pull your hair out of your face, and another rubbing slow circles on your back.

“chris i smoked way too much” you spoke, through a broken voice, coughing, with your head still hanging over the toilet.

“i know you did” that’s not chris.

as if you weren’t ashamed enough about the fact that Matt had seen you high, he was now looking at you while you were vomiting. brilliant.

you sat back against the wall, wiping your mouth with a tissue before throwing it away, and bringing your knees up to your chest.

“don’t make this a habit” matt said quietly, while standing over you and handing you a bottle of opened water, but his voice carried a warning tone.

“i won’t. thanks” you rasped, taking the bottle from his hands, not daring to look up at his face.

you sat in silence, slowly sipping the water, while matt stared down at you, waiting for you to throw up again.

“i’m fine now, i’m just gonna shower and head to bed” you said, finally standing up and looking at him.

“well chris is asleep on the couch so, his bed is fair game” matt replied, nudging his head towards the living room where chris was out cold.

“okay” you nodded, while waiting for matt to leave.

“you gonna be okay?” he asked, squinting his eyes at you.

“could you wait in here while i shower?” you asked. your mouth moved before your brain and it just came out. he obviously didn’t expect it either by the way his eyes widened so far they almost bulged out of his head.

“i- i mean- i ca- um,” he cleared his throat. “yeah sure, i’ll just uh” he said, pointing to that wall opposite the shower, and turning to face it, so he wouldn’t be looking at you.

you hummed in agreement, before stripping off and getting into the shower.

maybe it was the weed still in your system, but you had full confidence in him. you were putting all your trust in him to not turn around, and you believed he wouldn’t.

the water was hot on your skin, each drop washing away the horrible feeling of being too high. you sighed, letting your head tip back and your eyes close.

for a moment, you forgot matt was there, you did your normal shower routine, washing your hair, then your body then your face, all while matt was stood not even a metre away, with your trust in his hands.

you turned to look at him, bouncing on his heels with his hands together infront of him.

“are you nervous?” you quirked, giggling slightly.

“no y/n i’m not nervous, i just… i’m not nervous” he said, sighing.

“whatever you say baby” you cooed. keeping your eyes on his back as you pushed your hair out of your face.

he let out a breath and dropped his head. matt could’ve fell to his knees there and then. the fact you were standing behind him, completely naked, trusting him to stand there with you, had him rock hard.

but he was also confused, you hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, now you were calling him baby. he knew it was just the weed but he couldn’t help but have a small amount of hope bloom in his chest.

you felt a little bad, because you were just fucking with him, but the fact you could visibly see he was affected made you want to take it a little farther.

“could you pass me a towel matty?” you breathed. the words dripping like honey off of your tongue, and just like a moth to a flame, matt was drawn to it.

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