#2 of them i think i am just not going to do. 1 of them i need to do and will be an absolute fucking bitch. 1 of them i should do but will be

[stilljuststardust]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Visualization; How I do it

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

As always, take what works for you. This is my opinion and experience, I don't want you to do everything the same way I do, I just hope it helps you discover your way. I probably experience visualization different than you and that's ok.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

1. Embrace tunnel vision

When I was first exploring visualization, particularly in shifting, it was emphasized to me that it should be as realistic as possible.

It's easy to sit down and lose yourself in trying to perfect the visualization. I would try to visualize and end up annoyed because I couldn't nail down the details. I felt pressure to get everything "right".

Here's the thing, visualization is not perfectly mapping out the floor plan of your bedroom, nor is it a 1:1 recreation of your environment.

Don't get overwhelmed trying to juggle everything single detail. Your brain doesn't multitask, it switches focus between tasks rapidly. In trying to switch between everything on your checklist you are going to overwhelm yourself and lose all immersion in the process.

The five sense are important but they are not a checklist. Trying to juggle five different experiences at once can be overwhelming. Pour your focus into something and let the other senses come up if they want to, instead of breaking your focus to add in something new.

You don't have to get it "right". You don't have to be perfect, exact, or accurate.

Tunnel vision is your friend. When you're going about your day to day life you're not focusing on your entire environment all at once. Some of the most immersive and potent visualizations you will ever have will be of minute details.

You don't visualize the whole scene you visualize a moment of it and get lost in it.

Maybe it's hard for you to visualize an entire room, but can you visualize one aspect of it? Instead of trying to map an entire castle, can you imagine the cold feeling of one of its windows against your hand?

You're overwhelmed trying to imagine your bedroom, so try instead to imagine the feeling of your bed in the morning when you don't want to get up. It's difficult to build an entire soundscape in your head so just imagine the grating sound of your alarm dragging you from sleep.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

2. Smell + touch > sight

While vision is the sense we rely upon for day to day life, and is therefore the focus of most visualization, we have four more that are often over looked.

The easiest way to immerse yourself is smell.

When it comes to memory and emotion one of our most powerful senses is smell. Sometimes you're moving through your life and you catch a whiff of something unidentifiable that drags you, head first, into nostalgia.

You may not be able to figure out the exact lay out of your environment but you probably know how it smells.

I find that when you start with smell all the other senses enter the visualization more naturally. When u think of the smell of the Hogwarts library the images of floating books and worn pages enter my mind without me having to consciously summon them.

This could just be a me thing so don't bite me if it's not yours, but personally thinking of how something looks always feels flimsier than the other senses even if it is still important.

When I am trying to imagine laying on the lawn the image easily feels impersonal, but the smell of morning air, feeling of wet grass under my hand and sun on my face, feels so much more real.

But YK, that's just me.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[meganwritesfanfics]

How to Save a Life (Dr. Jack Abbott x Reader) Part 1

Part 2 Part 3

Word Count: 1613

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of firearms, women being threatened.

I altered the show's timeline slightly to make my story work. I will continue to post parts, if you would like to be included in the tag list, comment down below.

“Resuscitation efforts discontinued at 14:51,” Robby said and she felt like see had been been punched in chest. Kid loses always hit everyone hard. Especially a drowning. Y/N’s eyes locked with Robby’s as the mother of the lost girl screamed with grief. She just shook her head as she bolted from the room, not wanting anyone to see her tears. She always felt like so weak when she lost it after losing a patient. She had been a doctor for 10 years, it should affect her as much anymore. But the hard cases always got to her. 

“Caring does not make you weak,” She could hear her husbands voice in her head say as she reached for the necklace he gave her. “It makes you a better doctor.” 

She stumbled out to the ambulance bay, taking a deep breath. The cool air filled her lungs and she felt like she could breathe. She wiped some tears away as she pulled out her phone, pulling up Jack’s contact. She knew he would be waking up soon if he wasn’t already. They had a tradition of texting one another if something happened at work that upset them. Sometimes it was easier for Jack to write down his feelings than it was to speak them out loud. Y/N appreciated him sharing in whatever form made him feel the most comfortable. And Y/N always knew the best things to say to make him feel better.

“Just had a really rough case. Lost them. Just wanted to remind you that I love you more than anything in this world, and you make me incredibly happy.” 

“You have time for a call Doctor?” A text shot back and Y/N smiled as she hit call. 

“What are you doing up?” She laughed. 

“Ugh, you know I can’t sleep without you next to me.” Jack said groggily. “What’s going on Doll.” 

“It was a six year old kid, Jack. Drowned.” Y/N said her emotions coming to the surface again. “She was trying to save her little sister.” 

Jack remained silent just listening as Y/N explained everything they tried to do to save the girl. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry” 

“I just kept thinking, what if it was our baby lying on that table.” Her hand instinctively hovered over her stomach. Neither of them had told anyone yet, but Y/N was about 8 weeks pregnant. 

“Y/N, you can’t think like that. If you connect every lost kid to our baby, you are going to go insane.” 

“I know. It’s just hard.” Y/N sighed. 

“Well, just think, in a few more hours, you will be home with me, I will make us dinner, and then we can do whatever you want to take your mind off the day.” 

“Oh anything I want Doctor Abbott that sounds like you have something dirty in mind.” Suddenly Y/N felt something heavy and blunt against the base of her skull. 

In one ear she could hear Jack talking about all the things he wanted to do with her. In the other ear, she heard someone whisper. 

“Hang up the fucking phone. Now.” 

“Jack, honey, I have to go. I love you so fucking much.” She said and she quickly hung up, just as she heard Jack call her name questioningly. 

As soon as the phone was hung up and put in her pocket, Y/N felt an arm wrap around her chest pulled her roughly back as the barrel of a gun was placed against her temple. 

“Inside. Now.” The voice snapped as he started to drag her inside. 

Her mind was a blur as they came in through ambulance bay doors. She immediately saw the look of horror on everyones face as they came in. 

“Listen here!” The voice screamed. “I want to be treated fairly, I want to be seen by a doctor!” 

Y/N saw Robby come into main area and his eye went wide. 

“I need everyone to calm down.” Robby said with as much composer as he could, but in his head he was full on panicked. “Sir, I need you to let my resident go.” 

“No. Not until I am fucking seen. I have been waiting for hours and no one has seen me yet. It’s not fair. So I am going to get someone to help me, or so help me God I won’t hesitate to shoot her.” 

Ahmad took a step forward but the minute he did, the man cocked the gun and Y/N flinched. 

“Don’t you fucking move, you piece of shit, I’m not joking I will kill her. I need you all to take me seriously!” 

“Mr. Driscoll, we are taking you very seriously…” Robby said hands up his eyes looking over at Y/N’s scared form, trying to figure out some way to get her out of this. 

“Well then who is going to treat me!” Doug screamed as he swung the gun out at the rest of the group causing everyone to duck for cover. 

“I will!” Y/N screamed. “I will treat you! Just don’t point the gun at anyone else, just at me got it.” She negotiated and she could feel her phone buzzing in her pocket. Jack. Her heart broke, she hoped that by seeing this patient she could deescilate the situation. But she also knew that if he was going to these extremes, there was a higher than likely chance this could end in violence. 

“Y/N.” Robby said shaking his head.

“Listen Mr. Driscoll. I have been a doctor for 10 years. I am confident that I can get you the care you deserve.” 

“Finally, that’s all I’m asking. Was that so fucking hard!” Driscoll screamed. “Now,” He said as he started to drag her toward the empty room he could see. “If I so much as see a cop, things won’t end well for…” He leaned over to read her badge. “Dr. Abbott here. Is that clear?” 

“Mr. Driscoll, this is…” Robby started again but Driscoll quickly moved the gun to under Y/N’s chin shoving her face up so she was looking at the ceiling.

“I said is that fucking clear!” He screamed and Y/N could feel a tear roll down her cheek. 

“Crystal.” Robby snapped a look of pure rage in his eyes. 

Everyone watched in silence as Doug Driscoll dragged Y/N into one of the exam rooms and shut both doors. 

“Robby.” Dana said panicked. 

“We need to start moving all the other patients elsewhere for their safety. Also we need to…” He started but he could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. 

He pulled it out to see he had multiple missed texts and calls from Jack. 

“What’s going on with Y/N. She sounded weird when she hung up the phone.” 

“Robby, I’m worried about Y/N.” 

“Can you just let me know if she is tied up right now. She’s not answering me and I just want to make sure she is ok.” 

Robby sighed. He didn’t want to make this phone call, and he knew what the outcome would be, but he knew Jack deserved to know. 

“Is that Jack?” Dana asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“You want me to call him.” 

“No, I got this, go try to calm down the newbies. And let’s get everyone moving.” He sighed as he pulled out his phone, his eyes still fixed on the room Y/N was in. 

“Robby, brother, thanks for calling, Y/N sounded really weird on the phone and I swear to God  I heard another voice in the background I know it’s probably silly, but I got this gut feeling…” Abbott started. 

“Jack.” Robby cut him off and Jack instantly went silent. 

“What’s wrong?” Jack said fear filling him instantly. 

“There has been an incidence. A disgruntled patient and he…” Robby hesitated. 

“Is she ok?” Jack asked and Robby could hear the sound of rustling as he was sure Jack was starting to rush out the door. 

“She’s ok, but the patient brought in a gun. He currently is holding her hostage in one of the exam rooms.” 

“Fuck!” Jack screamed and Robby heard the sound of Jack’s truck peeling out of the driveway. 

“Jack if you are coming here I need you to remain calm and level headed ok. That’s the only way we are going to get Y/N out ok.” 

“I’m not going to remain calm! He’s got my girl Robby. And she…” Jack hesitated his voice catching in his throat. “Have you called the cops?” 

“Not yet, I need to get all the other patients somewhere safe, and I need to talk to Gloria. And he threatened to kill Y/N if he saw any cops.” 

“I’m on my way, please don’t call the cops until I get there. I’m only about 5 minutes out.” 

“Jack you live 15 minutes away how the fuck are you already…” 

“I really don’t give a shit about speed limits right now.” Jack screamed before he let out a loud sigh. “Micheal, I can’t lose her.” 

“Don’t think like that ok, we are no where near that point. This guy is just pissed off but I think once he gets what he needs I think he will be gone.” Robby tried to reassure. 

“She’s pregnant, we haven’t told anyone yet because it is still super early.” Jack said and Robby could hear him breaking. 

“Jack, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure she is safe.” Micheal insisted. But he couldn’t help but feel that this situation was not going to end well. 

[lapdogchase]

i like[1] this website because a joke post u made in 3 seconds[2] vaguely complaining about something that does not matter[3] will get 15k notes in a matter of days and then people will misinterpret it in wild & unpredictable & cynical ways possible. Like before responding in a hostile manner to a post maybe stop[4] and go "is it possible that op did not set out to make a post commenting in a serious manner about a serious problem"[5] "is it possible that op did not sit down before posting to ensure that there is no possible way their[6] post could be read in a bad light"[7] "am i picking up on an implication that is actually there or are my own life experiences informing my view of this post in a way that may not be accurate"[8] etc. like would it kill[9] people to be a little less quick to lash out when it is fully possible they may be misunderstanding something[10]

---

[1] this is sarcasm, i do not like when people do this.

[2] this is an exaggeration, it often takes more than three seconds to type a post.

[3] sometimes a post may be complaining about something that Does matter. this post is not claiming that most or all posts are about something that does not matter. likewise, the idea that something "doesn't matter" has been used to downplay the struggles of marginalized communities, and some things online do, in fact, matter. this post, however, is about shit that does not matter

[4] OP is not insisting you do this. there is no manipulation, coercion, or violation of consent; you are not forced to do anything you don't want to to. you are not being silenced or censored.

[5] the original poster may have meant to make a silly post about a serious issue, or a silly post about a silly issue. oftentimes, posts are not meant to be all-encompassing thesis statements on broad social issues addressing all the possible pitfalls of a certain argument as well as what lends credence to it

[6] the use of the neutral pronoun "they" in this sentence is due to its reference to a hypothetical person or group of people rather than any specific individual who may or may not use they/them pronouns. it is not an attempt to actively misgender or degender anybody. for further clarity, OP is fully supportive of trans and nonbinary people and is in fact a member of the trans community

[7] while OP has ocd, it seems an unnecessary addition to this post, but he has noticed a trend of general anxiety-related behaviors being attributed to ocd when that is not necessarily the cause of such behaviors. he therefore finds it worth saying that people without ocd who have been on tumblr for a long time are also prone to this behavior, as being misinterpreted is incredibly common online, and does not necessarily indicate the presence of obsessive-compulsive disorder. i.e., sometimes people just worry about stuff

[8] accurate meaning, here, accurate to the intent of the original poster. it is not meant to state that a person's emotions about a post are "wrong" or that they are misinterpreting their own feelings. additionally, it is reasonable that a person's experiences would influence their view of the world; it is equally reasonable to expect them to think before being aggressive towards strangers online

[9] this is a turn of phrase, not meant to state that any lives will actually be ended by this action. this footnote is also not meant to imply anything negative about those who experience anxiety around the concept of death

[10] OP is relinquishing himself from the responsibility[11] of this post[12]. if it gains sentience and runs off to colorado to rob a bank and go on a killing spree that is not his fault

[11] whether or not a person can truly be relinquished from the consequences of any of their actions is a matter of debate irrelevant to this post

[12] OP is aware that this post opens him up to receiving many identical and increasingly unfunny comments intentionally misconstruing his words or intentions. he is nicely asking you not to do that because it's very exhausting

[kierancampire]

Reblogging a clean version to add

This is what I am going through currently. Because I don't look severely disabled and can manage daily living unaided, people think I'm completely fine and can work. When people find out I go to the gym for like an hour each day, they once again act like this means I can work 8 hours a day, 5-7 days a week, no issue

Like my doctor does it, the DWP which makes my life hell trying to get benefits, family, friends, strangers. Everyone, everyone does it. But I don't feel this should be a hard concept to get across. Yes I can manage the gym 1 hour each day, yes I can wash my dishes, change my bedding, hoover my apartment, and carry shopping back from a 10-15 minute walk. I can do those things, yes. But that doesn't mean I can work, or function when performing a job. Fucking surprisingly, doing something for an hour and 15 minutes, that I choose to do, in a way I can manage, and I stop at my limits. Doesn't correlate to me being able to do something for 8 hours every day, with no choice on the way I can do it, and with no options on when I can't do it and the breaks I get while doing it. Those are completely separate. It's like if I held you underwater for 9 hours and my excuse for not murdering you was "Well I saw him take a shower, so I assumed clearly he must be able to hold his breath for 9 hours underwater"

The thing is, I struggle with doing what I do many times, many times I take it easier for 1-3 days afterwards, I'm in pain, I struggle with usual daily living. That's just from the gym and trying to manage normal daily living. And again, this is when I can set my limits, set my hours, set my schedule, take breaks, and at most do something for 2 hours. So again, because I can mostly do this, that doesn't mean I can work 8 hours a week, 5-7 days a week, with someone else setting my workload, hours, schedule, and I can't just take breaks or miss days when my health starts fucking up. They're just not the same thing. But it's wild, frustrating, and depressing how many people treat them as not mutually exclusive

Kinda wild how most people generally recognize that the "too sick to go to school, too sick to watch tv/play games" mindset our parents had was bullshit but still impose essentially the exact same rules on disabled adults and scrutinize them for enjoying low-energy hobbies while being too fatigued or in pain to work a full time job (or any job at all)

[3liza]

re: the last reblog about cat yowling when they want you to look at your Mousie - dogs do this too obviously, and one of the things I do to try to keep Churchgrim happy and secure is to always respond to his bids for attention ("bid for attention" is a literal description of the behavior and also a human and animal attachment psychology term) positively and quickly. this reinforces 1. secure attachment (feeling like your caretaker is available to help at all times) 2. boredom (a lot of the time a pet is "bothering" you is because they're bored) and 3. teaching the dog or cat that they don't NEED to escalate to intrusive or rude behavior in order to receive attention

you can observe human children doing the same thing when attempting to interrupt their parents who are having a conversation at the grocery store. parents normally (incorrectly) will ignore a child who attempts to interrupt or pull on their sleeve etc and as a result the volume of "mom? mom? mom look. look mom. mom?? mom????" will increase until it is successful at getting attention, even bad (punishment) attention. the correct response for animals AND small humans is to respond immediately to all bids for attention to create security, but in learning contexts like the grocery store situation, you explain calmly and positively to them that you are having a discussion and can look at their toy or answer their question with FULL attention in X minutes, then wait for them to acknowledge this offer and accept it.

Churchgrim is smart enough to understand delayed gratification so he has also learned some common phrases associated with "I am busy right now but I will get up and do what you want to do in X minutes". i can tell he is understanding something about this offer because of his ears

dog: (standing in my doorway staring at me)

me: hi grim! what do you want?

dog: (slowly wags tail)

me: are you bored? do you want to go on the (emphasized word clearly) ***patio***?

dog: (ears go up, sneezes [sneezing means "yes!" or "let's go!" or just "I'm excited about something!" for most dogs])

me: ok I can't stand up right now but I will take you to the Patio in ***five minutes***. okay?

dog: (thinks hard about this for about two seconds, realizes he's not going out Right Now but that he hasn't been told No, ears return to neutral position and he politely leaves the room. he will spend the next hour exhibiting behavior indicating he is expecting to go to the patio even if I fall asleep or fuck up somehow)

he doesn't always want dog things like Go Out or Hungry or Water Bowl Empty or Play. sometimes he is just feeling insecure and needs physical contact. he's not a very cuddly dog, but he does a horse thing where he will put his head under your arm or shoulder and lean into you, and he wants his sides and shoulders and neck patted and massaged reassuringly

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Meaty Post Since It's All You're Getting for a Bit

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

*** This blog will be on mini hiatus for most of May 2025. Not dead just busy. You'll be fine without me. Don't burn down this hellsite anymore than normal while I'm away.

April 2025 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Stubborn (Sun iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 10 - Mflow's latest high heat office romance involves best friend's younger brother, boss meets intern, bit of a love triangle, GL crumbs, and few other tropes.

It's... raunchy.  And it's giving me Deep Night vibrations. So to speak. Similarly cringe but still fun to have on our screen. I don't mind a "teach me daddy" trope. The leads are serving up BossNoeul in LITA and the other pairs seem decent too. It’s messy gay but it’s low stakes high melodrama soap opera messy gay so I guess I'm okay with that style. Shall we call this "sloppy gay"?

I'm not mad about it.  

The BangkokBoy (Thai Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Action, crime, and revenge meets gangs, street fights, mafia, and more. Oh my. Intriguing premise. Not a bad beginning in terms of acting and family strife set-up. The terrible dubbing is sending me. The terrible fight scenes are sending me even further. They better give us some BL within the next two episodes or I don’t know if I can take this level try-hard.

Sweet Tooth Good Dentist (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - I am so happy to have Jimmy back on my screen. I can’t even tell you. No additional thoughts, only Jimmy in glasses.

Top Form (Thurs WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - this time I reminded myself going in that this is based on Japanese IP. But I still couldn't take it. I fast-forwarded through most of this ep. I knew it was coming but I still couldn’t stomach it.

Akin better get everything tested. And some counseling.

Boys in Love (Sun iQIYI ) ep 1-2 of 12 - Our only true high school BL from GMMTV this year and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. I want to like this (and be surprised by it) as much as My School President in 2023 but so far that is definitely not the case. I do love the teachers (shocker) and I like the sides but I’m not sold on the main couple. With a kiss already in ep 2 the pacing is off. If this were Japan I would 't be worried, but this is GMMTV messing with the formula and that could be rough for all of us.

Side note... how does Papong look so daddy in Not Me and do damn ingenue here? Best chameleon in GMMTV's stable? I think so. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Heesu in Class 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 9-10 end - omg they are ridiculously cute dancing round each other. Please just kiss! Bah, this did take too long to resolve. I was worried about that.

The people (aka me) want more BL in our BL! Rah rah rah.

I also wanted more Heesu advising others and less of the hets hetting about the place. Sad we got not kiss but also no time to develop it.

Conclusion

What started out with a great core concept (KBL version of Sex Education) rather lost its way getting mired in the slowest of slow burns which effectively turned the BL storyline into a sub plot for multiple het dramas should have just added flavor. The acting was sweet all round, and sincere, and the lead character of Heesu very engaging. There was even some chemistry with his love interest, rare from Korea. The extra length (so rare in KBL) turned out to be just enough for them to hang themselves with. Should we be shocked that Korea didn't have enough faith in the queer romance thread? No, but I had hoped for better. This was almost great but missed the mark by simply not being gay enough. 7/10 

I will add the handling of the coming out sequence was... deft.

I think I need to go rewatch Light On Me.

Business as Usual (Korea Thurs Viki) Ep 4 of 6 - Gah this is so sad. They like each other so much and made such stupid mistakes! i guess Jin Hwan won't let it stick? Honestly I'm kinda glad this is a short one.

Something Is Not Right (Korea Weds Viki) ep 2 of 8 - The library scene made me laugh.  Every single on of them is such a drama queen. It's awfully angsty but i like it. 

Fight for You (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - Oh this is getting kinda good. That fantasy was lovely. The rest of the story is rough. But the chemistry is great.

Exclusive Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 12 end - Pretty much just a wrap up episode with lots of sex and a double wedding (never a good idea). But all of it was very pretty. 

Summary 

Taiwan gave us this weird premise of funeral home + mafia + secrets, yet somehow no excitement or real tension because they then slapped it with a pathetic excuse for a plot. Everybody in it was pretty, but the chemistry really wasn’t what I’ve grown to expect from Taiwan. The suits were nice, i guess? Ultimately, given the initial concept, this is remarkably forgettable. 6/10 

It's airing but......

Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) 13 eps - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. Doesn't interest me, not sure if it's BL.

Last Meal Universe (Thai ????) 8 eps - An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually. I got a link to watch but it still wouldn't work for me, so I guess I'm waiting to see what happens.

Lost in the Woods (Weds Gaga) 7 eps - Not my thing, dropped at ep 2.

Secret Ghost (Thai Sat Viu) ?? eps - The trailer dropped and it looks so bad.

My Golden Blood (Weds iQIYI) 12 eps - dropped at ep 5. Recent thought process as follows: Oh, I think I would have loved this if it were OffGun.

What a thing for me to think.

Still, I'm not wrong.

The Rewatch BLigade!

Jazz for 2. I wasn't sure about this when it aired and I'm still not sure about it. I think I like it. But how much do I like it?

Cherry Magic Thailand. Still very enjoyable but there are more slow and lagging episodes than I remember. Lots of fast forwarding through the slow bits. But TayNew still deliver like only they can. Now I kinda wanna do a Deep Blue Kiss rewatch.

Wandee Goodday. I fast forwarded through everything that wasn't YakDee on screen together. Solid choice. I love them so much, and I suspect they might be the healthiest sexual relationship we have ever seen depicted in a BL. (On Viki these days)

Unintentional Love Story. Yeah a regular rewatch for me. I put it on to check something, and then just ended up running through the whole series. Will I ever recover from Gongchan's eyes? Not in this lifetime.

Your Sky. Yeah I finished the 3 ep special and then immediately rewatched the whole darn show. This is my 3rd or 4th time. I love it, totally my type of so bad it's good, so sweet it hurts, BL pulp. I don't ask for much from my BL. This show gave me exactly that much and no more.

Mr X & I - Us Against The World. One of those obscure shorts I love, this one from China pre 2016 crack down. Yep. Still love.

I'll be doing a ton of rewatching over the next month because of all my travel. Wish me luck!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming in May

5/2 Pit Babe The Series 2 (Thai Fri iQIYI) 13 eps - More conspiracy and struggles and past coming out to play but even less omegaverse.

5/3 The Next Prince (Thai Sat iQIYI) 14 eps - Hotly anticipated 3 yr production featuring ZeeNewNu in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince fighting for his right it inherit. Plus Jimmy with a new partner. Should be pretty and hot if nothing else.

5/16 Knockout (Thai Fri WeTV ) 12 eps - A low quality less fun/funny version of Wandee Goodday?

5/19 I Promise I Will Come Back (Thai Mon WeTV) 10 eps - A Thai Taiwanese colab. Stars two Thai actors and Taiwanese identical twins from H3. However the lead and co-producer Tontae is actually a very good actor, so this could be good unless it's oen of those mostly intended to be a tourism advert for the Thai countryside. We shall see!

5/16 My Sweetheart Jom (Thai Fri YouTube) 12 eps - I admit I wasn't sold on this one from the trailer but Saint is back and I'm disposed to be intrigued by the kind of script that would pull hm in. But it is certainly not my kind of script.

May? Season of Love in Shimane AKA Ai no Kisetsu: The Season of Love (Thai) - Sequel to Kiseki Chapter 2 which I intensely disliked, must we?

May ? Sweetheart Service (Korea Gaga) - Strongberry is back with a fake dating trope?! After being pressured by his family to get married, Min U proposes to Yu Ha to pretend to be his fiancé. As they spend time together, feelings begin to develop between them.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Lap sit kiss teaching sesh with this boy you kinda hate who is now also kinda your boss... sure, why not?

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[lightsoutmatthews]

Forgive and forget - Auston Matthews (Ignored pt. 2)

summary: after the events of last night you and Auston need to talk and finally figure out what happened.

Read pt. 1: Ignored

pairing: Auston Matthews x female!reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: -

authors note:

for the lovely anon who requested me writing a part 2, I really had fun revisiting the story

--------------------------------

When you wake up the next morning the bed next to you is empty. You could still feel his arms around you. He had held you tighter than usual last night, almost as if he was scared you would slip away while he was deep in his dreams.

The lingering anger from last night was almost gone, a good night´s sleep usually something that really helped you calm down after a fight but there was still that little simmer, especially when you thought back to how you got those pitying looks from other attendees.

Auston´s side of the bed was cold. An indication that he must have been up for quite a while. You knew he had a game today, but morning skate wasn’t something he attended on a very regular basis.

The banging of porcelain led you downstairs into the open kitchen of your shared home. A quiet voice mumbling something, but you couldn’t quite make out what. Maybe he was humming along to a song or talking to Felix. A usual occurence in your household.

As you took the last steps on the stairs you realized you weren’t wearing anything other than a pair of panties and one of Auston´s very oversized shirts that ended just above your knee. Not really an appropriate outfit for the talk you were about to have but at the same time you were too lazy to go back upstairs and change. This will just have to do.

The sight that awaited you in the kitchen had you let out a quiet laugh. Auston was shirtless, juggling a pan in one hand while he tried to fetch toast out of the toaster with the other. At the same time Felix was running circles around his dads legs making him almost trip over the dogs back.

“Do you need some help?” you questioned laughing, making your presence known at the same time. He flinched, almost dropping the toast and tipping the pan a tad too far so the eggs were on the edge of dropping onto the floor.

You rushed over, grabbing it from his hands before putting it on one of the coasters laying out on the counter ready for usage.

“Good morning,” he said after putting the toast on one of the plates sitting in front of him that were already loaded with freshly cut fruit. A soft huff left your mouth.

Auston making breakfast wasn’t a typical occurrence in your household.

Sure, he did it every now and then on special occasions like your birthday, an anniversary or just when he felt like it but today you knew exactly what he was doing. This was an apology.

“Morning,” you replied but subtly evaded his attempt for a kiss because you knew how this would probably end, and you really needed to talk before that happened.

He shot you a confused and almost offended look when he realized what you did. “Talk first, okay?” you requested quietly.

He plated the rest of breakfast before sitting down across from you on the large, wooden dining room table. Taking a sip from his coffee he looked at you with waiting eyes.

“I know we already talked about this last night but what was going on?” you questioned, looking him directly into the eyes, catching the warm glint the rising sun behind your back coasted them in.

He brushed his hands over his face before taking another long sip from his mug. You knew he was thinking, you had been together long enough for you to pick up on the subtle changes in his demure whenever he was doing something but didn’t want people to know.

“Like I said last night, I was so wrapped up in my shit.” He swallowed. His adam´s apple popping out stronger than usual. “I really don’t have a good explanation for you, but I am sorry.”

You took a deep breath. That wasn’t really what you wanted to hear but at the same time you were glad that he was honest with you. Telling you he didn´t know was still better than just making up some lousy excuse.

“It really hurt me, Aus.” You used the nickname on purpose, signaling that you weren’t really mad anymore but still said it with just enough bite to get your point across.

He opened his mouth to say something, but you stopped him with one finger. “The looks Willy and Mitch gave me stung but the looks from the people who didn’t even have any idea who I was were worse. They knew I was there with you but just looked at me like I was some random woman you brought so you didn’t have to come alone.”

You took a quick pause to take a bite from your toast. Swallowing hard before speaking again. “We have been together for years, Auston. I know you value your privacy but at this point in our relationship people shouldn’t think I´m just some random woman on your arm.”

You tried to not sound accusing, more like you were just describing how you felt to him, but you were failing miserably. The tensing of his shoulders a clear indication of it.

“I know,” he interjected before you could go any further. “Do you…?” you challenged.

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. “It certainly didn’t feel like you knew last night. And I´m sorry, I don’t want to fight about it any more than you do, but I felt like I wasn’t important last night.”

You once again stopped him from interrupting, this time he reacted by rapidly blinking. “I know you´re at these things to shmooze sponsors and not to hang out with me but I hope you understand what I mean.”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Just starring into his plate as if it had a perfect answer for him. “You are the most important person in my life.”

A loud sigh left your mouth. Of course, you knew you were. He showed it in the small things that he did. Like making you an iced coffee before he leaves for morning skate and putting it in the fridge so it wouldn’t get watered down. How he ordered you food when he was on the road because “just had a feeling” that you could use something to eat or a sweet treat. How he checked in on you as many times as he could via text, even when he was supposed to busy.

You hardly ever felt like you came second to hockey and when you did you understood. During the playoffs or important stretches in the regular season.

“Yeah, but that is not what this is about.”

When you looked back at him, he seemed like he didn’t know what else he should say to make it up to you.

If you were being honest, you also didn’t know what you wanted to hear. The lingering anger wasn’t really prominent anymore ever since you shared your feelings with him.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he stated, looking down at Felix who was spreading out under the table to be close to both of his favorite humans.

“I don’t know what I want you to say either,” you answered honestly.

“How can I make it up to you?” He asked with genuine sincerity, not because he wanted to know what he had to do to make it go away.

You dropped your fork and reached out to grab his hand that he had placed on the table while eating. His pleading eyes weren’t lost on you. His vulnerable state not something you saw often. When it happened it always was in the comfort of your own home.

The loving expression on his face made you melt, all the anger that was still left deep inside you puffing away as soon as you looked at him.

“You don’t have to make it up to me, this…” you moved your arms over the plates. “…is already more than I would ask for. I just wanted to talk about it again, clear the air so that we´re on the same page as to why I was so angry last night.”

He nodded and softly squeezed your hand that was still holding his.

“So, I am forgiven?” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes but laughed. “Yeah, you are forgiven but…” you paused dramatically. “…don’t do it again.” he finished for you which made both of you break out a laugh.

“I promise.” He responded before getting up and dragging you to the other side of the table so you could sit on his lap. “I love you, baby.” He added, before placing a slow and careful kiss to your lips.

“I love you too,” you mumbled in between kisses. “Even though you piss me off so bad sometimes,” you added laughing before pulling him into another kiss.

[badassbutterfly1987]

(ID: Pic 1: "It's okay, I can peel back the layers of you until I find the soft and gentle core of you you've had to work so hard to hide"? No. No, it's okay, I know you're hollow; I'm here anyway. You don't have to pretend it isn't masks the whole way down. Whatever face you want to wear, I still love you. I don't need you to be good or unflinching or the antonym of violence. If I did, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't ask that of you. I have nothing against a character who is layers of scar tissue and callous protecting a small little sliver of their before self, who just wants to be safe to let that sliver grow and heal. However, when the only thing under all the scarring is more scarring. When there's nothing of the before self left at all. When there was a precipice, and they tumbled over it, and even if they got back up they'll never heal right. And then to have someone still say 'I care for you.' You are broken and I can't fix you and I'm here anyway. So what if you're a ghost of yourself? You can haunt me." Pic 2: "I don't know man, I just wish that we could [suddenly realising I'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. Or something."

Pic 3: "Big fan of characters with abandonment + attachment issues so profound that they leave claw marks in everything they touch but would sooner gnaw off their own leg than admit they just want someone to stay for once. In a totally normal well adjusted and not at all projecting way of course." Pic 4: "When you have wanted to be wanted all your life, and then somebody wants you, it feels like cheating. It feels like eating something you're not supposed to eat, and you eat it too quickly, always afraid of your lover walking in and seeing it smeared all over your face, red, the damning evidence of your hunger to be wanted, and nobody wants to love someone too desperate to be loved, so you do your best not to be desperate, you walk in the harsh January sun with your hands freezing in your pockets and try to look like someone who doesn't want anything too much. Here's the thing, you want everything so much that you're like a ravine in the shape of a woman, taking in anything that seems like it could be love." Pic 5: "Someone: I love you." "My damaged ass: the love you speak of is conditional, you are only in love with what I present or project to be and again it's sifted through another layer of your perspective, you love what you think I am, and when I stop being that, you'll stop loving me." Pic 6: "My urge to massively and publically self destruct so someone finally proves they care about my well-being is at war with my common sense and terror of being seen as a burden and abandoned."

Pic 7: "Realizing that I'm not the kind of person that has people, I'm the person that people have. I'm not meant to be loved, I'm meant to love. I'm not meant to be supported, I'm meant to be supportive. I'm not meant to be anything more than the person who's there when other people need them. I'm the person who people only reach out to when they need someone and I'm convenient." Pic 8: "When I watch other people my age, I see that they have this kind of effortless way about them that I don't think I'll ever have. The way they talk to each other and the way they go out and pursue what interests them without having to think twice about it. The way they know how to conduct themselves, the way it all comes so naturally to them, like breathing or swimming or riding a bike. It's like they all have something ingrained in them that I just don't have, and it's so embarrassing and it's fucking killing me." Pic 9: "It secretly terrifies me that I have no solid personality or identity. I you asked me who I am I could only give you a name and age. My identity is fragmented and prone to shattering under pressure. I have no idea who I am, but I know each of my created personalities very well, it's like being 50 people all at once and nobody at all at the same time. I'm an empty body with a mind that's overflowing." Pic 10: "I've gotten good at leaning on metaphors. I've gotten good at living on someone else's page. I cut my teeth on second-hand sentiments. You can't trust a single thing I say." End ID.)

Making a web weave seemed fun. Here’s one about being “masks the whole way down” (@/notquiteaghost) or something along those lines

Song is Metaphor by the crane wives

[fatcathappycat]

10 Ace Attorney fics that made me >LOL<

(part 1)

Reading AA fanfics on Ao3 has been my 'go to' choice for self-care this past year. The following are works that literally made me either snort, giggle, cackle or laugh out loud. As usual, these are in no particular order, because creating a sense of order in life is an illusion, and fics are to be enjoyed and celebrated, not ranked ;p

1. Vocal Exercises by SapphireWine

Rating: G Words: 4,756 Read time: 20 mins

Phoenix has a secret talent!! I laughed out loud so hard at this story's climax, I think I hurt myself (the best kind of hurt ;) ). And like so many of SapphireWine's fics, the story is so sweet (new love getting to know each other) and crisp (that snappy dialogue!) and savory (mmmmm tasty Narumitsu). I wrote in my bookmark that this fic is a sweet little ol’ onion if onions were like apples maybe, and covered in feelings.

~≧◡≦~

2. Eureka Moment by Kantayra

Rating: T Words: 673 Read time: 5 mins

"Miles discovers that, to his embarrassment, he is just as much of a total dork in bed as he is in everything else." Ahem, ngl, this is now firmly established in my head canon. Kantayra is one of my 'go to' Narumitsu Master authors. They specialize in short, sharp and hilarious ficlets, and I highly recommend all their work. This author will show up again in my fic recs, guaranteed.

~≧◡≦~

3. A Collective Groan by Kantayra

Rating: E Words: 6,321 Read time: 30 min

"Miles prided himself on his self-control, or at least he would if only Phoenix would stop being so incurably Phoenix." OOP! See! I was (w)right, here is another one by Kantayra. In addition to being a Narumitsu Master, they are a freaking Pun Master! OMG the PUNS!!!! And the fact these are Mile’s weakness! I am so dang happy I found this author and this fic in particular. I'm laughing even as I'm typing this, remembering some of them.

~≧◡≦~

4. The Crushing Weight of Inevitability by Kantayra

Rating: E Words: 6,321 Read time: 30 min

And sorry, I can't help but slip in yet another gem by Kantayra! (Honestly, I might have to do a dedicated post on them in the future). "How Edgeworth applies for a job: smugly, confidently, remorselessly, and with plenty of snark." In the form of a heavily cited resume, this is another absolutely fantastic ‘pun fic’ from this fabulous creator.

~≧◡≦~

5. Worse than we could have imagined (2 part series) by hi_its_ellis

Rating: T Words: 5,813 Read time: 25 min

Our favourite idiots being, well, idiots. By yes, another one of the authors I consider a 'Narumitsu Master.' In the author's notes, they say "I intended this to be Really Soft and it turned out Really Stupid" I happen to love soft and stupid so there we go... but it also has heart, so there we go twice.

~≧◡≦~

6. Texts & Turnabouts by YanagiKana

Rating: T Words: 40K? Read time: 3 hours (?)

I love chat fics. They are such a fun character vehicle. This one is missing a few graphics but still really, really enjoyable and I hope this talented author comes back and gives us more. :)

~≧◡≦~

7. It Would Feel So Good To Make You Mine by hi_its_ellis, lowbatteryhealth

Rating: T Words: 54,615 Read time: 4 hours

I am the 590th bookmark for this epic tale from two of the most diabolically minded pair of Narumitsu Masters in the fandom, celebrating the most epic game of Gay Chicken ™️ ❤️🐔💙 Read and enjoy, you won’t be disappointed! I would also file this one under 'required reading for Narumitsu fanon'

~≧◡≦~

8. A Beginner's Guide on How Not to Write Steel Samurai Fanfiction by chameleonwrites

Rating: T Words: 16,058 Read time: 65 mins

"Verity Baytum, a court stenographer, has a secret passion for writing Steel Samurai fanfiction based around the pairing Magisteel. When she finds an unlikely source of inspiration during her job, she can't help but watch court proceedings in search of further lines that fit her fics."

"Yaaay!!!! Sooo much fun, just like the description implies! Very Ao3 and discord community vibes. Verity is a really likeable and charismatic Original Character and I would love to read more about her! - If you are craving more, I suggest a chaser of Kantayra's 'Court(ing) Record' ;)

~≧◡≦~

9. Twelfth night by zombiekittiez for Gheyn

Rating: T Words: 5,156 Read time: 20 mins

“Phoenix hand feeds him a berry, sweet and sun-warmed. Also, slightly crunchy from the sandy soil. Resigned, Miles chews and swallows. Three days in and he is already eating dirt.” Time-loop au comedy hijinks by another one of my 'go to' authors.

~≧◡≦~

10. Certifiably Yours (2 part series) by Gheyn

Rating: T Words: 5,156 Read time: 20 mins

If you like fics that reference the language of flowers, or how meticulous Miles is, this fic is for you. And I'm finishing strong here, folks. This 2-part series is LOL perfect! Tears! TEARS!! In my eyes from laughing so hard. So sweet! So romantic! So silly! So good. Hiiiiighly recommended. ❤️💙

~≧◡≦~

And that's it for another week! I hope you enjoy these as much as I have. Look forward to a part 2 in the near future {;)

Do you have a favourite AA LOL fic? Please share in the comments! And THANK YOU!!!!! to all the incredibly wonderful punny, funny awesome authors cited here. I luuuuurve you!

❤️ ♥‿♥ ❤️

[neuroticbookworm]

Lessons from Heesu in Class 2 finale

One of the things I've really loved about Heesu in Class 2 is that the show has always made its characters speak their thoughts to each other. Clear communication is usually not a forte of teenagers, but the way it is done in the show feels realistic, while also modelling good conflict resolution for the teens.  Chanyoung just fleeing the room after hearing Heesu's confession was hurtful to Heesu in the moment but completely understandable from Chanyoung's perspective because he was completely taken aback by the confession and needed time to process it. And when he did, he called Heesu into *his* safe place, the tennis court, and smacked Heesu a little for putting him on the spot like that. Once Chanyoung had exhausted his anger and frustration, he expressed his regret for not reacting better in the moment, which released the tension and gave way to them falling into their normal rapport of teasing each other. 

And as the scene progresses, we learn that Chanyoung not only took the time to process Heesu's past feelings for him and how he feels about it, he then thought about and figured out the reason for Heesu's emotional turmoil beyond the information Heesu had given him in that room. He realized that Heesu must’ve confessed to him not because he wanted to pursue him romantically, but because he is interested in somebody else and was seeking closure on his past crush on his best friend. He surprises Heesu by asking him if he likes Seungwon, and when he learns that Heesu has not told Seungwon yet, he pushes him to confess to Seungwon, much like how Jiyu was pushing Seungwon to do the same in the previous episodes.

I really loved how the show took the time to flesh out these characters, making them multidimensional and complex. Chanyoung’s subpar reaction to his friend coming out to him does not make him selfish, it makes him human. And expecting Chanyoung to tone down his extremely valid emotions to make himself palatable to his friend in a moment of discomfort between them would be hypocritical, especially when that expectation is framed as well-intentioned towards a queer character.

And the show’s commitment to modelling good communication was also reflected in Seungwon’s confession to Heesu. Over the course of the show, the carrot juice box went from something that made Heesu curious about his secret admirer, to an object that was in the middle of an effort to forcibly out him to his classmates and friends. Seungwon initiating his confession with that juice box recontextualized all of his actions throughout their friendship to Heesu, and he was rightfully angry at Seungwon for letting the ruse go on for so long. Heesu was mad at the disingenuity and the meddling of it all: Seungwon secretly liking him from Day 1 of their friendship means that he has always had more information about things happening to Heesu than Heesu himself. It is humiliating to know that every interaction you’ve had with a person you’ve considered a friend had hidden motivations.

But Heesu also understands why Seungwon did it; it is the same reason why it took him so long to confess to Chanyoung. Seungwon telling Heesu that he’s really sorry for lying but he did it because he likes him too is not lacking in explanation because we know that Heesu would understand exactly what he means, because he did the same thing with Chanyoung. Both of them meddled in their crushes’ lives in hopes that they would magically fall in love with them because the thought of confessing to them directly and getting rejected romantically as a queer teen was too scary and painful. When they finally embrace each other, we could see that tension drain from both Heesu and Seungwon, as they feel the other accept and understand them, despite their past actions and choices.

I am very happy that we got a show where the characters were allowed to be flawed and human, while also having them treat each other with kindness and understanding. I think Heesu in Class 2 did an excellent job of balancing the realities of being queer while also instilling hope that kind and meaningful community and relationships can be built, even in the fucked-up, non-bl-bubble world where homophobia exists.

[detectivestucks]

Marked for You Pt. 2

18+ content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: Kakashi x F!Reader

Summery: Kakashi's mission doesn't go as planned leaving him rocked. He makes mistakes and the next day stumbles upon his mystery-girl.

Warnings: Violence and mentions human trafficking

Word Count: 5.5k

Reader Request I Part 1

It’s been months. Not that I haven't been sent on long missions before. Sometimes it seems the Hokage, no matter which one it is, prefers to reserve these missions for me. The perfect soldier. The perfect weapon. The Leaf’s secret heavy artillery packaged up in one body. 

I’ve known what I am at the end of the day but sometimes I just want to feel more man than reaper. Thinking about the kids helps. They’re antics are the highlight of my day. Are they exhausting? Absolutely. But does it make me proud to watch them grow? Undoubtedly. 

My current mission? To protect the chief advisors of the Hidden Waterfall. All three of them are ancient. Once famous shinobi, now they need assistance brewing a cup of tea. So here I am, summoned due to a rogue shinobi group that has been closing in on the small nation and with its lack of Anbu forces. 

I’ve lived for three and a half months. I am certain of the involvement of one kid, however, when I brought it to the attention of the small council they laughed and said I’ve lost my touch. That’s one of the other hard parts of this. I can know what I’m doing and still be wrong. All I can really do is stay in the background and wait to be proven right with irrefutable proof. 

I wrote to the Leaf with my findings. I know the nephew of Lady Kano is involved with that new criminal organization Ishikozume. She doesn’t believe me now but by the time she does it will be too late. On the bright side, Lady Tsunade will still be sending a replacement for me in a few days. Part of me knows that’s when they’ll strike so the goal is to pretend I’m leaving before that. Then they’ll strike early and I can eliminate the threat. 

Word came back that the Ishikozume gang raided a village outside of the Leaf, leading to almost an entire village taking refuge in our city. The Hidden Waterfall is spooked by this news but still holds firm that the threat does not involve internal shinobi. I wish they’d see the signs, but they won’t listen. It’ll be their end. 

That’s where my assignment comes in. I’ve already laid the groundwork for my sting operation and soon the blood thirsty men who are affiliated with the gang in this village will be eliminated. It won't eradicate them all but it will take care of a good chunk. Which after the recent raid intercepted by the Leaf’s Anbu, will put a serious dent in the gang’s men, hopefully crippling their movements. 

Now outside the council’s meeting room, I stand erect, guarding them while they deliberate the secrets of the Waterfall village. I smell them before the hairs on my neck stand up. Fingers curling around my kunai, I flip them with a spin around my finger gripping the handles in my palms. 

At first the strikes were physical. They clearly hoped to sneak up on the council while they were unguarded, using little to no chakra. Could they be reserving it for some reason?

With two hands gripping my fists, the confused murderer confesses, “You weren’t supposed to be here. Our intel gathered that you were leaving a week before your replacement arrived. I guess your genin kid doesn’t need you after all.”

The ignorance of the man tickles me. The laugh that crept out soured my attacker’s expression. “That genin is well on his way to being the most powerful shinobi in the five great nations.”

Just as my sentence finishes I can hear a clamor in the next room. As I turn my body to bolt in a second man rounds the corner of the hall. I rip my fists from the clutches of the first shinobi to throw a ninja star at them both. The blades strike true, embedding themselves in their jugulars. 

My next weapon is instinctively already in hand as I break down the door. The skeptical seniors insisted on locking it in spite of the hurdle it creates in their protection detail. Three men have each councilperson held at knifepoint, daring me to attempt to save them all. In one swift motion, I hurl my shuriken through the air allowing it to spin like a boomerang, slicing off the heads of all three targets. Their last act is to stab their hostages. Luckily Lady Kano yanks away leaving her the only one to escape unscathed. 

Carefully stepping through the swelling puddles of blood, I return to their bodies, checking the pulses of the other two advisers. The flesh is warm however their pulse has faded. 

“They’re gone.”

“And so are they.” She nods towards the rouge nin. Her face is stern. She disapproves but at what I’m not sure. However right now the threat has been neutralized. Yet, something isn’t right. Three attackers at the village outside the Leaf, three attackers inside the council room entered through the window, but only two outside...

“There’s one more attacker! We need to go, now.”

“How do you know there’s one more?”

“They work in groups of three. Let’s get moving.”

Just then, the nephew I warned her about enters through the broken door. I should’ve known it would be him.

Jaw slack, eyes wide, she whispers his name in disbelief. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be out on assignment.”

“I have a different assignment.” 

Her panic stricken face turns to me. The irrefutable proof, now known. “How did you know?”

“I observed his movements. They didn’t match his missions. He often took far longer to return to the village than necessary. He was making extra stops. These scenic routes home coincided with Ishikozume attacks.” I laid it out for her. If she had just let me explain we wouldn’t be here, we could’ve prevented this tragedy.

“Why didn’t you tell us this?!”

“I tried. You were the one who dismissed me.”

“Classic Aunt Kano, always cutting people off cause her opinion is final. How does it feel to be wrong?”

“What is your organization’s goal?” I interrupt, having no interest in the mind games he wishes to play.

“I’ve heard of you, Copy Ninja. There’s no way I’m exposing organization secrets to someone who manages to slip through the fingers of every enemy he’s faced. I’m not stupid.”

If that’s how he wants to play it then so be it. Before he can fully extend his arm to throw the kunai at his aunt, I am behind him, my chidori fisted through his chest. The expression behind his eyes becomes vacant just as his knees buckle and his body tumbles to the ground.

“I’m sorry Lady Kano. I know he was family.”

“You-you stand there like a savior. Do you really think what you did is any better than what they did?” She points to the men who killed her comrades, “His life was only beginning. I’m an old lady! My life is almost over! Do you really think this was a fair trade?!”

“I apologize ma’am. I am doing my mission, which is to protect you.”

“But what about them?!” she gestures towards her fellow councilmen heaped on the ground. “Can you really say you completed your mission when two thirds of the council are dead?! You kill and you kill and you kill, and for what?!”

“I know ma’am.” I feel the weight of my actions in my chest. “The life of a shinobi is one of violence. Each side thinks it’s right. All I can do is protect my village right or wrong. I’m sorry for your loss.” Then I leave her there. I bow before walking away, unable to take the truth of her words. Yes, her nephew and his cohorts are murderous gang members, but we don’t even know why. They say it’s for the thrill of it but I doubt murdering family is a game for fun. There’s something more. 

I find my replacement at the outskirts of the village and brief him before heading home. I’m early, I know, but I can’t stay in this place much longer or my heart might tear in two from how violently it twists in my chest. I need the breeze on my face and the sting in my muscles as I dash home to clear my mind.

Night falls as I enter the village. I stop by Lady Hokage’s office to drop off my mission report. She can see the wear on my face but is too kind to say anything. Fortunately, she already knows I’m not one to share. When I look up at her, I can see her features are drained too. All these late nights and unsolved questions take their toll. The need to protect the village. The demand to do anything and everything necessary. The reality of what those actions mean… I think back to what Lady Kano said. Her words of disgust ring true. The atrocities I’ve committed. What those who’ve served in the Anbu and Foundation have done. We are equally as guilty for the ugliness of the world. 

Trying to pull myself together enough to exchange pleasantries, I wish her a pleasant evening and head home to shower and change. I take off my uniform, stripping down to a compression shirt and loose sweatpants, then head to the bar for my favorite barbeque. 

One thing about missions is that the food is bland. Food pills, unseasoned meat, maybe some rice don’t do much to satisfy hunger. That’s why coming home is such a relief. Real food, made with flavor, is a luxury to a shinobi. A luxury that doesn’t get mentioned enough. 

Though I don’t want to be around anyone right now, my stomach is winning the battle between home and food so off I go to grab some of the famous meat at the Barbeque Bar. 

Mind still stuck in the sand, I enter the familiar place. Seeing my usual spot open, I go to sit down. Upon my entry, Chen offers a wink and heads to the back to place my usual order. With his return he slides a cup of sake my way.

“Can I get a couple shots and a whiskey please?”

His brows furrow. “Something happen on your mission?”

“You could say that.” My eyes drop to the cup in my hand, already half gone.

“Well maybe there’s someone here that can make you smile.”

I tilt my head hoping he’ll elaborate but he doesn’t. He walks away and behind him I see a beautiful woman I don’t recognize. At least I’ve never seen her here before, that’s for certain. But I’ve also never seen her around the village. 

Studying her face, she seems nervous but there’s something more there. Maybe an eagerness to approach me. I’m sure I’d remember that face, a kunoichi that gorgeous. Either way, Chen’s not wrong, she is a welcome sight. I’d love to get to know her better. Maybe she can tell me more about where she came from. She can distract me from the events of today.

“Hey, here’s your drinks.”

“Thanks man.” I grab all three glasses, downing both shots and saving my whiskey to sip. The sake and shots warm my blood. They fill my veins with the same heat that reddened the cheeks of the girl across the bar. I search for her again but suddenly she seems afraid. The eagerness has left her expression and the look she gives me drags me right back under. The words of Lady Kano echo in my mind again. I kill and I kill and I kill…

I take a long draft of the amber fluid in my glass before I’m interrupted by a familiar face. 

“Hey Kakashi!” Her voice is warm and inviting, though her motives are plain. She presses her body against mine, the touch soothing to my soul. 

“Hi Jasmine. How are you?” 

I take another sip from my glass as she praddles about her recent adventures around the village. Jasmine has always treated me well but I avoid her because she wants something I cannot give. She’s hunting for a man that will complete her family. A single mother isn’t an easy life but I am no father figure. My purpose for this world is too dark. I can’t drag her and her son down with me. Yet, in this moment, I need her kindness. I hate myself for indulging in her fantasy but between the liquor and my crushing mind I find her lips and connect them with my own. 

She’s not as beautiful as the other girl but the warmth in her gaze makes up for it. She expels a small squeak of excitement followed by a hum of satisfaction. Quickly, she melts against me and I pull her into my lap, pushing her body against mine and feeling her skirt ride up till her underwear are rubbing against my sweats. 

She rocks her hips, stroking my stiffening length with her warm center, her legs straddling my lap and closing around my hips. Groans get muted by her tongue slipping between my lips. I can feel the twitching of my member and the way it leaks, looking for somewhere warm to be buried. One  hand card through her ebony hair and the other grips her hip harshly, grinding her against my lonely heart and aching pelvis. 

She coos into my mouth. It’s hungry for her till I hear the sound of a plate being placed on the bar table. I break off the kiss, feeling my senses return to me. “I’m sorry Jasmine. That was selfish of me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I shouldn’t be leading you on like that.” I look down ashamed of myself. I know what she wants and I’m pretending to give it to her. I’m acting like one of the men in my books.

“You’re not leading me on, we both want this.”

“We both know I’m not boyfriend material.”

“I don’t want a boyfriend. I want someone to share a bed with tonight. To me that seems like something we both need.” She nudges her nose against my cheek, trying to convince me with her gentle touch. 

“I should really just eat and head home.”

“Okay then, I’ll wait.”

To my surprise she spins around on my lap and orders some mixed rice, leaning to the side to allow me to eat my fill from the fresh plate of barbeque. 

After 40 minutes or so, we finish the last of our drinks, riding high on the influence of alcohol. It’s been a long time that a woman has clung to my arm like this. The look of adoration in her eyes and unwavering comfort in my presence has me wrapped around her finger. 

Strangely though, I catch her eyes flitting around the room. Even in my drunken haze I notice many disapproving faces. I pull away from her, asking if she knows what’s going on. “They’re probably just jealous. We make an attractive couple.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“It’s fine. Let’s go back to your place.”

“How about I walk you home?”

She takes the offer for what it is. I’m rejecting her and returning her to her son. She knows that, hence why her features are so broken. 

“Are you ever going to be interested in me?”

“You’re beautiful, but I’m not the right man for you. You deserve better.”

“You deserve better too. No one should be alone.”

“Maybe, but I’m no good. I’ll just weigh down whoever is unlucky enough to claim me.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so negative. It’s just the thoughts that I keep in my head. Seems the drinks have made me loose lipped.”

“Alright then. I accept your proposal to at least walk home together.”

I can’t help but smile. I walk over to the bar’s entry and pull open the door for her. “Lead the way m’lady.”

As she passes through my eyes turn and sweep the room. Angry glares follow me from every angle, including disappointed stares from the bar tenders. Too drunk to care much, I file the note in the back of my mind. Following Jasmine out onto the streets of Konaha. 

You’re working your usual shift at the bakery, having opened hours beforehand, now you’re standing at the counter dolling out pastries to each customer that enters the shop. You paste on a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes because you’re still sifting through the disappointment from last night. Then as you hear the door open, what’s left of your smile falls from your face. 

Long pin straight black hair flows down her shoulders and chest as her petite frame glides to the counter. 

“Good Morning”

“Morning”

Your body stiffens, hurt and anger blaze through you. She knew about your mark and felt the need to sweep in to stop you from making contact with Kakashi. But why does it matter? It doesn’t. Stop being petty.

She goes ahead and orders glazed over flakey sweet buns and finishes her order with a gloating smile.

“You seem tired today.” 

You wanted to glare at her. Of course you’re tired, you were up half the night in tears and then had to come into work at 4:30am. “Yes ma’am. I open at 4:30 so that the baked goods are fresh.”

“Is that the only reason?”

You look her square in the face. “Yes, what other reason would there be?”

“Maybe you’re upset because your little birthmark doesn’t mean a thing.”

“I never believed it did. That was everyone else who cared.”

Her continued gloating smile made her face extremely punch-able. 

“You sure? You seemed really disappointed when Kakashi pulled me into his lap. I’m sure you wish you were the one who brought him home. You’d be crazy not to.”

“Well I don’t. I’m not into drunks.”

Her eyes flash. “You know nothing about him. An outsider like you shouldn’t say a damn thing about our heros.”

“Look, do you want the buns or not? I’m not the one who started this conversation and I’m not interested in finishing it. Either pay for the food or get out.”

She slams down her yen and snaches the bag out of your hand. Nothing relieves your nerves like the sight of her storming out of the shop, even as the door bangs shut behind her. 

“Sorry about Jasmine.” a nice older kunoichi chimes in. “She’s had feelings for Kakashi forever. I can’t imagine hearing that someone is his soulmate is sitting well with her. I know it doesn’t excuse her behavior, but I want you to know it’s not personal.”

You nod at the woman, starting to feel a smidge of forgiveness towards the obnoxious chihuahua. “I don’t particularly believe in all this stuff.” your eyes shift down to the cabinet below you, “But it was nice to fantasize while it lasted.”

“I take it you’re not interested in pursuing your mark anymore.”

“No, I’d rather focus on this second chance at life the Leaf has given me.”

The lady smiles at you knowingly. “I understand that. But I’ve been around a long time, dear, and I can tell you, life has a way of making things happen whether you want it or not. What’s meant for you will be.”

You nod, wondering if she’s right. 

“Now can I get a box of those dumplings? I’d love to bring them to my daughter's house when I go visit my grandson.”

A grin returns to your lips as you acquiesce. After she makes her purchase you’re left alone. Your eyes roam the empty room filled with vacant tables and chairs. Reaching for the broom, you busy your hands, sweeping the dining area as your mind races. 

Why do people continue to defend him? Even going as far as to put you down? And why do so many people believe in your mark? Did they ever consider that there’s a reason the man’s been single forever?

You roll your eyes, why do I care? None of this matters. I’m probably never going to see him again anyways. It’s time to focus and work my way up in this village. Enough of this Kakashi nonsense.

Feeling firm in your stance you finish collecting the dirt and brush it into the dustpan before tossing it in the garbage bin. A quick clap of your hands to shake off the dust and you remember the task your boss assigned once the morning rush is done. 

Your brows drop and your head falls back with a low groan. You have to fix the sign outside. The bulbs in one of the letters burned out and you’re supposed to replace the fluorescents. But at least it’s the last chore before you're off. And today you don’t even need to come back for third shift. You get to go home and sleep as late as you want. 

“Just one more thing.” you assure yourself.

Rummaging in the back closet behind the kitchen, you find the extendable ladder and drag it out with a profound lack of grace. The steel edge scrapes against the door frame as your back hits the wall behind you. A quick glance around the empty place leaves you with a small dose of relief as you realize no one is there to see you struggle…including  your boss. 

After a small giggle, reflecting on the crazy shit girls do when they don’t have a man handy, you heave the ladder through the front of the shop and set it up outside. With one more round of scrounging in the back closet, you grab the bulb replacements and a screwdriver before heading outside to perform your task.

Stepping out onto the dirt of the sidewalk you gaze up against the sun, eyes squinting in the light. After sizing up the job you realize you’ll need to do this one bulb at a time. You lay the spare tubes down on the inside of the Bakery’s door and keep only one secured in your fist. Approaching the steps and placing the screwdriver between your teeth, you ascend, grasping one rung at a time. Once at the top you balance the fluorescent on the ladder while you use the Phillips head to unfasten the plastic covering the old bulbs. Overall it’s proving to be a tedious job but hey, someone’s gotta do it. 

I wake up from my sleep later in the day than intended. My mind is slow to wake, like there’s this fog blanketing my mind and eyes. A reprieve is found in the murkiness; a break from the weight of the shinobi burden. I can feel the dehydration from the alcohol in my parched mouth. 

Why did I drink so much? That was impulsive of me. Crap, speaking of impulsive, I should apologize to Jasmine again. I led her on, knowing how she feels. I drag my hand over my face as I’m filled with regret. I can feel the blood flow restore as I rub my eyes a few more times before I finally get up and stretch. 

The lactic acid from yesterday’s trek home burns my legs so I decide to do a few squats to break up the compound. The relief is instant, leading me into my usual morning routine, starting with 6 variations of pushups till I reach 120. Then I do walking planks with toe taps followed by burpees. Lastly I copy Guy’s handstands (not that I’ll ever allow him to know I do this) and end with a few inverted push ups on my fingertips. Once I finish, the last of the grogginess clears from my once tired mind and I’m able to shower and get dressed for the day. 

In nothing but a towel, I pad over to my kitchen and fill a glass with water. Bringing the liquid to my lips, I down the entire contents in a few gulps. Somehow, once finished, I feel more thirsty than before and anxiously refill my cup. I repeat the process three more times till I’m finally quenched. 

Leaving the glass in the sink, I head back to my room and grab my usual compression shirt and sweats along with my mask and head out to the market. Another downside to always being away on missions is that every time I come home I immediately have to go shopping for the essentials. I can never keep food on hand. It will all spoil when I’m not home. So on days where I’d like to do nothing more than sit in my house for 48 straight hours, I’m forced to head into the heart of town to grab the basics. 

Kicking a pebble in my standard issue sandals, I contemplate Lady Kano. I wonder how she feels and if she truly meant what she said or if it was just spoken out of grief. She can’t possibly think her nephew's life was worth saving, knowing the things the Ishikozume gang do. Especially to women such as herself. From the intel we’ve gathered, they don’t care how old or young a girl is, if she’s a girl, she’s up for sale.

But it still bothers me. I’ve always known what I am, what I’m used for. It’s a bleak life for a shinobi. Yet many still pursue it as if it were a badge of honor. 

Eyes still trained on the rock at my feet, my peripheral can see the stares I receive from the town. There seem to be more of them than usual but maybe it’s because I’ve been away longer than normal, or maybe it’s because Naruto and Sakura continue to grow in fame and consequently, so do I. 

My nose picks up the scent of recently brewed beverages, slow roasted meats, and freshly baked goods; I must be close. I try to steer my thoughts towards my list of purchases, the basic meals I’ll make the first couple days while I recuperate and the fancier dishes I plan to treat myself with as I regain my motivation. 

The sounds of children playing tickle my ears and I look up, remembering the way Naruto and Sasuke once sounded. They were winey young things, so similar and so different all at once. Then there was young lovesick Sakura tagging along, just happy to be there. I should find them and check in. 

My gaze catches the two culperates of the ruckus and I nearly smile, except they’re playing dangerously close to a ladder. I open my mouth to say something when a body falls from the top. Without realizing it, my ninja instincts kick in and I catch the heap of flesh in my arms. Sometimes it blows my own mind how reactive I can be. How automated and fine tuned my body is to its surroundings. I was built to be a warrior, a tool for the nation to use, yet as I look down to assess the person suddenly in my arms I feel human. 

“You” I breathe out in a low tone. It's her, the woman from the bar. The one who worked up a fire in my veins and just as quickly snuffed it out. The reason I threw myself into an ill advised makeout session with Jasmine. 

My eyes shift back and forth, drinking in her irises. I wish I could spend the rest of the day memorizing their lines and specks, yet my gaze falls down to her lips, so pink and full. I feel a contraction in my core as I admire her winded state. My balls tighten and my fingers grip her greedily. I don’t even realize my hands have fisted her shirt and pants till she makes a small sound. My eyes refocus on her face and mindlessly I speak.

“I don’t often see angels fall from heaven.” The blush that consumes her face radiates with heat. Why did I say that? Since when do I make corny jokes? My insides twist with embarrassment.

Gently, I set her down, my pupils dragging along her frame, assessing if she’s really okay, while attempting to memorize every curve. 

“Are you okay, miss?”

“I- yes- I- I’m fine. Mhm.” She tugs at her clothing, trying to readjust it, like she’s nervously covering herself. What does she see in me that makes her so worried? Am I scary? 

“You were at the bar last night, weren’t you?”

She hides her face by looking down and turning away, seemingly looking for something, but I’m not sure what.

“Did you drop something? Can I help you find it?”

“No, no, that’s fine. I’m all good, thanks to you. You don’t need to concern yourself with me anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sir, I can do things myself.”

Her words are defensive and it breaks through my usual walls. I believe my face must’ve cracked because when she turns back, the way she looks back at me is full of remorse. 

“I’m sorry. It’s been a rough few weeks. I’d just like to be left alone.” I nod. “And thank you by the way. I could’ve been seriously injured.”

“Indeed. I’m glad you’re okay.” I’m about to walk away when something tells me to stay, “Are you alone?”

“My boss will be in soon. He likes to work the midshift.”

“Well, if you need a hand, I’d be happy to assis-”

“No, I’m fine, seriously”

The pushiness and the defensive tone behind her words continues to confuse me. “Okay then. Have a good day.”

She doesn’t say it back. Her cheeks simply turn a brighter shade of scarlet as she hurries inside the shop. To my surprise she doesn’t resume her spot atop the ladder but rather races to close the plexiglass door that separates the sweets shop from the street. 

Even with her walls up, something about her settles deep in my gut. There’s this sense that I need to be near her. Slowly, I force my feet to resume their path to the markets, my legs almost protesting the steps I take leading away from her. It’s the strangest sensation; something I’ve never experienced before. 

My mind, recently circulating the thoughts of my mission, is now looping the features of my mystery-girl. A new topic of sudden interest that now fills the graymatter of my skull. 

She’s not from around here, that much I know. But when did she arrive, and what accent was I hearing? It was beautiful, even though her words were laced with rejection. Yet something about that voice, remembering it makes my head turn to look over my shoulder. The shop may be far away now, but I see her back on the ladder and she’s staring right at me. My chest swells.

Even from my current vantage point I can see how she jumps and quickly repositions her attention towards the sign she’s repairing. Concequently, I notice how my pulse quickens. 

What is this I’m feeling? I’m not in danger. I’m also not necessarily aroused. It’s not like last night with Jasmine. It’s something else and it’s distracting. I try even harder than before to focus on my grocery list but now I’m noticing things like how many flower shops are along this road and how few bakery’s there are. My hands twitch each time I move past a petal stand, like there’s a compulsion to head back to her, flowers in my fist. 

Now I feel it in my stomach. This twisting sensation that almost irks me. Enough. This isn’t rational, it’s just the stress of the mission. Focus Kakashi, you need to get home and rest. Exhaustion has you losing your cool. 

Thoughts still stuck on those cheeks and lips, once I’ve made my purchases, I subconsciously lick my own as I walk back the way I came. Coming up on the bakery, I crane my neck, straining to see inside, looking for something I strangely desire. However, inside there is only a middle aged man. She must be off for the day. 

It’s just the mystery of her. If I get to know her this will subside. 

I chant these thoughts to myself, perplexed at what’s gotten into me. Even as I slot the key into the hole of my own front door, my mind is meters behind me, still thinking of the foreign girl. I stride inside and dump the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter. Leaning against it, the folds of my brain are so consumed with questions about this girl, it numbs my thoughts to the point I feel as if those same folds have gone smooth. Who is she? Where’s she from? When did she get here? Is she here alone? What do those lips feel like? What does she taste like?

Stop. That’s enough.

Come back next week for Part 3 😉

Part 1 I Masterlist

Tagslist:

@hoohamaru @watasinekoru @blueeclipsepaperstudent @readingcatinacorner @tanyaspartak @liyry @mutsu422

[louisupdates]

ALL OF THOSE VOICES

Louis Tomlinson’s feature length documentary

• Louisupdates Tumblr:

“It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not prepared for it, not at all.” [x]

“It had always been in my mind that it would be cool if we weren’t the standard boyband that got given songs and sang them.” [x]

“Life always throws shit at you. Yes, I’ve had more to deal with than most people my age. But then, when the natural things happen in life, when things weren’t going my way, I couldn’t deal with it. I was like, I’ve already had so much to deal with in my life, so when am I going to start winning?” [x]

Louis at CCME with Liam Payne, & on the Late Late Show 2019 [x]

Louis plays Premios Telehit in Mexico City 2019, and Louis’ family describes Louis’ relationship with his mother Johanna [x]

Louis conversing with his family about the transition from breaking into the music industry to taking charge of his own life; rehearsing with voice coach Helene Horlyck for tour; clips from the Scala benefit concert for War Child in February 2020; and clips from the first Louis Tomlinson World Tour concerts in Barcelona and Madrid, March 2020, before the pandemic brought everything to a stop. [x]

Louis spends time with son Freddie in Los Angeles, including a magical moment flying a kite on the beach. “When you’re running with it, it looks really good, you should have a look! ‘Cuz sometimes you’re just running forward, and you’re missing all the action!” [x]

Louis describing writing Faith In The Future in Mexico during lockdown, & the first LTWT22 concert, on 1 Feb 2022 in Dallas, Texas [x]

Louis starts to record his new album at Wendyhouse Studios in London [a repeat, x]

Louis in the studio with Theo Hutchcraft, recording his single, Saturdays [x]

Louis starts the Louis Tomlinson World Tour in February 2022. First stop: Dallas. [x]

Fans camping for shows [x]

Louis being one of the lads when touring on the road. [x]

16th March 2022, Los Angeles, USA. For the first time Freddie is coming to see his dad performing on stage. [x]

Louis works on Faith In The Future while on his first world tour. [x]

Louis and team start the tour in Iceland at the Blue Lagoon [x]

“It’s become a bit of a thing, for some reason, I’ve started challenging people to races. ‘Cuz I used to be quick when I was about 16-years-old, and obviously fourteen years later, I’m not as quick as maybe I think I am.” [x]

In Poland, Louis finds out he has a fracture in his right arm that will need to be immobilized (it won’t be the last time). [x]

LTWT22: from Doncaster to Latam [x]

Louis arrives to start tour in Latin America! And LTHQ interviews some experts on Latam fan culture who are not from South America. [x]

Louis takes in the successful Latam leg of LTWT and takes the band for an outing in Brazil. [x]

Louis and the band bond in Brazil. [x]

Louis and LT band sit down to listen to the final minutes of the new album (and the adorable Mr. Dinnadge). [x]

AFHF 2022: MALAGA [x]

AFHF MALAGA, and the sublime, unreleased Change [x]

One Direction comes to an end. [x]

Louis marvels how he started LTWT with venues of “2000 cap” in the USA and ended with 30,000+ in Milan (3.9.2022). [x]

The End [x]

• AOTV TikTok:

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28

• TOKYO PREMIERE (13.3.2023): Tumblr

• MEXICO CITY PREMIERE (20.3.2023): Tumblr

• LONDON PREMIERE (13.5.2023): Insta, Tumblr

INSTAGRAM TEASERS:

27.3.25: “It was so fucking fun.”

28.3.25: “I was like, well if I’m not gonna fucking sing, then what else, what else can I do for this band? … It had always been in my mind that it would be cool if we weren’t the standard boyband that got given songs and sang them.”

29.3.25: “Where I left One Direction was I’d come off the stage feeling like… a God.”

30.3.25 “This is my first headline show. Ten songs with you guys! I just want to say thank you. The rain has been fucking awful. Thank you for staying. Let’s have a good time! I’m going to be singing a few of my singles, a few of my new ones.” Louis at CCME in Madrid, 2019.

31.3.25 “There’s always been a fantastic bond between Louis and his mum.”

2.4.25: A look at Louis Tomlinson’s debut solo show at Scala, London - February 2020

3.4.25: Louis starts to record his new album at Wendyhouse Studios in London

5.4.25: “I hear a lot about when they have a tour bus, they convert the back lounge into a bedroom for them. If they want to do that, that’s fine, but Louis didn’t do that. We had the back lounge as a back lounge. He just had a bunk like everyone else.”

6.4.25: “It was a really nice feeling going from not touring at all, to what felt like every leg of the tour in terms of size, getting bigger and bigger and bigger.”

7.4.25: “I never had this luxury of playing Doncaster in the band. From the first two songs I was out there, it just felt so f**king special.”

8.4.25: “It feels so good to be back in these places because I’m lucky enough to have people here who want to see me”

9.4.25: “Bringing my mates along means sharing those moments and remembering not to take any of it for granted.” Louis and his team helicopter to a lush escape aboard a Brazilian yacht.

11.4.25: “Standing there today, It hit me hard. This is everything I’ve ever worked for. Everything I’ve ever wanted.”

13.4.25: Creating ‘Faith In The Future’ whilst on tour.

14.4.25: “What’s been so nice about this tour is feeling the chemistry bubbling between us as a band... Having these moments of togetherness makes the show better.”

15.4.25: “Getting rid of my self-doubt and embracing my confidence naturally leads to better writing because it means you’re willing to be brave.”

16.4.25: “When I’m on stage, the energy in the room is undeniable. It’s pure passion and overwhelming support.”

17.4.25: Louis Tomlinson on The Late Late Show with James Corden, Los Angeles — October 2019.

19.4.25: Louis Tomlinson and Niall Horan backstage before playing the same festival in Mexico.

20.4.25: Louis gets ready for his first solo tour with vocal rehearsals.

23.4.25: “Part of the magic was that you were going through this mind altering situation but that’s what made it feel amazing.”

[phoebe-delia]

Four Years in Fandom!

Hiii! It's been four years since I posted my first fic on AO3, and while I started reading fic before that, I consider April 25 my fandom anniversary.

To celebrate, I want to talk about my favorite fic I wrote each year. And I'm going to make it a tag game! Y'all do it too if you feel like it! Make a list of your favorite of your own works, one from each year you've been a creator. It can be fic, art, podfic, etc.—anything you made. I'll start by tagging some folks (but no pressure): @basicallyahedgehog @getawayfox @kittycargo @phdmama @peachpety @lqtraintracks @greattemptation @written-in-ash and @cailynwrites

2021 (Year 1): this is me trying

Rated T, 12.6k

This is still my favorite thing I've ever written. If you read only one of my fics, I'd want it to be this one. It's one of the more personal stories I've written, and it means a lot to me. It was also, at that point, the longest fic I'd written, and I feel it marked a turning point for me as a writer. I'm also so grateful for the friendships it's brought me, and I am always humbled when people tell me it helped them through a difficult time. It helped me, too.

2022 (Year 2): Goodnight, and Have a Pleasant Tomorrow

Rated T, 1.4k

This was for LCD in 2022. I won't lie, I am very proud of this fic. It's an SNL AU with Drarry as hosts of Weekend Update. I wrote all the jokes myself based on real news headlines at the time. It was difficult, but probably the most fun I've had writing a fic. (Note: Lyssa @written-in-ash made some lovely art for it, but I think the image host link isn’t working).

2023 (Year 3): Just Take Me Home

Rated T, 4.7k

This was a fun one, too. I love it because it feels like the kind of fic I'd love as a reader, especially when I was first getting into Drarry. I was also really happy with the idea/concept, not to mention how fun it was to come up with a, let's say, unfortunate acronym for this fake Ministry department. AND the incredible @cailynwrites made a podfic of it and made it sound 10x better.

2024 (Year 4): I Could Never Rescue You

Rated M, 1.6k; (mind the tags!)

This has a VERY different tone than what I usually write. It falls into the category of: Fics I Enjoy Writing but Wouldn't Like to Read, mostly because it's angsty and I am very selective with the angst I read. Mind the tags on this one, if you do read it. I won't spoil it, but all I'll say is, it is structurally (and somewhat thematically) inspired by the musical The Last Five Years by Jason Robert Brown. (There are a few major differences; if you're familiar with the show and you want to be spoiled/know the plotlines I changed for the fic, message me!) I had the idea when I first started writing fic, but I put it off for so long because I knew how hard it would be to make the unique structure of the show translate to fic form. I also hadn't figured out how to honor the angst of the show without making myself too sad and/or writing Drarry in a way that felt inconsistent with how I view them.

[changingplumbob]

Day Seventeen - Luther Group 1/2

Waken up everyone! Time for another day in the villa. And not just any day, the final day as a group before we have the whole cast challenge, final dates, and the first commencement ceremony (elimination sounds harsh when I love them). As normal coins were flipped for if teeth were brushed and wheels were spun for which type of shower contestants would have.

Room orders were randomised as some are closer to the dining room than others, but after showers breakfast was served! After being instructed to eat full autonomy took control of our group members and Deanna. Room doors were locked (you know what sims are like with computers) and Deanna complimented each sim in the order they sat down to eat to prompt conversation.

Today Nephinae and Kay were the first to breakfast, happily greeting Deanna. Fate was not as kind to Abigail though who woke up under a heavy gloomy moodlet. Nephinae and Nathalie attempted to distract her though while Deanna gave her compliments. Kristina however? Well her erratic trait had her feeling VERY flirty today. Would she be able to make the most of it?

Eventually Nephinae and Kay's cheer worked, gaining a smile from Abby. Alaina was weirdly quiet at and around the table. Biding her time or getting in to a competition headspace? Anyone's guess. Kay did the dishes and Kristina flirted with Deanna in front of everyone. Luckily the jealousy settings seemed to hold and no one got upset by it.

Rather than leaving the villa the contestants head to the top floor where chairs have been set out in an odd configuration. Today Deanna and Devin are joined by their little sister Artemisia (Emisia to family, Emi to friends).

Devin: Since this show was brought to life around the idea of family having a say in challenges, we let Emisia choose one

Emi: *evil grin* Today you will be taking part in... a staring contest. First to blink loses. You will go in pairs, I will join the three winners for a semi final and then the last two standing will battle it out. Up for grabs, not that you should want it, is a solo date with Deanna. I say up for grabs because if I win overall no date for any of you! To bad? So sad. What are we waiting for?

Deanna: *sighs*

First match: Nephinae vs Abigail

Nephinae: Hold on *blinks rapidly* okay I'm ready

Abigail: A staring contest? That's going to be interesting, for sure

Winner: Abby

Second match: Nathalie vs Alaina

Nathalie: ... what? Artemisia certainly has... a sense of humor. Well, they do say staring into another's eyes builds intimacy, so this might be good for me?

Alaina: *pure disbelief flashes across face. Shakes head slides hand down face*

Winner: Alaina

Third match: Kristina vs Kay

Kristina: A staring challenge? Pfft, I've had enough those with my brothers to handle this no problem. Bring it on!

Kay: *quizzical look on her face* Well this is an odd one.

Winner: Kristina

Semi final time. Artemisia vs Abigail. Alaina vs Kristina. Artemisia lost to her dismay and Kristina triumphed over Alaina.

Final match, Abigail vs Kristina. Can Kristina bring home the win in honour of her fellow redheads? Or will Abby win another victory? Winner is… Kristina

Nathalie: Drat, I was so sure my soulful, beautiful eyes would carry me through!

Kay: *giggling* I definitely did not think staring competitions were what I was signing up for

Nephinae: I was this close to reading your mind I swear!

Kay: Oh, oh, what am I thinking now?

Nephinae: That I didn't win... but I looked good doing it!

Nathalie: How can you joke about this

Nephinae: Relax Nat, there will be other chances

Alaina: That was a stupid challenge

Artemisia: Excuse me

Alaina: That was a stupid challenge. No real skill involved

Artemisia: Sure there wasn't. Look my sister doesn't deserve sore losers so you should give up now

Alaina: Who are you again

Artemisia: *swears crudely in Italian*

Aaron (offscreen): Emisia!

Artemisia: I said what I said

Abigail: Staring was never my biggest forte, so not surprising *smiles*. I've already had a solo date this round, better Kristina gets a chance anyway

Kristina: Ha! Told you I could do it!

A still erratically flirty Kristina is ready for the date!

@bakersimmer, @berrysims-lp, @daedriyth, @hashimasims, @invisiblequeen, @lostinsixam

[meganwritesfanfics]

How to Save A Life (Dr. Jack Abbott x Reader) Part 2

Part 1 Part 3

Trigger Warning: Violence against women. Our boy is stressed.

“Robby,” A voice called and Robby turned to see Jack rushing into the room. “Where is she?” 

“Jack,” Robby quickly grabbed Abbott by his shoulders. “I need you to take a breath. You cannot come in here guns blazing ok. Right now, we need to figure out a plan.” 

“How long has she been in there with that fuck.” Jack growled. 

“Only about 10 minutes.” Dana said as she came up and put her hand on Jack’s back. “I got a glimpse when I was moving some patients. She looks good Jack, she seems calm.” 

“Dr. Robinavitch.” A voice said called. And the trio turned to see Gloria coming in. “Did I hear correctly, do we have a doctor held hostage?” 

Robby sighed grabbing onto his stethoscope and pulling on it. “Yes, I was in the process of getting our other patients and staff safe, then I was going to call you.” 

“Have you called the police?” Her eyes darted to Jack with a questioning look. “Dr. Abbott, what are you doing here.” 

Jack opened his mouth to speak but Robby quickly cut in. 

“It’s Dr Y/N Abbott who has been taken hostage.” Robby said. 

“Shit,” Gloria sighed. “Ok well, I am going to call the police we need…” 

“He said if you call the police he will kill her. You can’t call them.” 

“Jack I understand you are scared but we can’t let…” 

“I’m more than just scared Gloria, I’m livid. This shouldn’t have happened. Robby and I have been asking, no begging you for more security. And now my wife is trapped in a room with a crazy man whose threatening her life.” 

“We can have this discussion later. Right now we are going to get the police involved. They will know how to handle this situation and make it so Y/N gets out safe.” 

“I need an Echo machine.” Y/N voice called out. 

“I’ve got it.” Jack called as he gave Gloria one last glare before he went to grab the machines. 

“Robby, you know how Abbott is, we can’t have him here right now, we need to get him out of the room.” Gloria said. 

“Gloria, we both know there is no way I’m going to be able get Jack out of here. At least not without Y/N by his side.” 

Gloria sighed. “Just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. I’m going to talk with the police figuring out what the best course of action is.” 

As Gloria left, Dana and Robby watched as Jack threw on some scrubs as he made his way over to the room with the Echo. 

“Here you are Doctor Abbott.” He said as he greeted Y/N at the door, his eyes darting between her eyes and the man who stood next to her the gun digging into the side of her head. 

“Thank you.” She smiled her eyes filling with tears when she saw Jack. 

As Jack passed off the machine, their hands brushed and Jack fought his instinct to just grab her hand and pull him to safety. 

“Alright let’s get back to it.” Driscoll snapped as started to pull Y/N back. 

Y/N mouthed I love you before she turned back to Driscoll. 

Jack stormed away heading back to Robby and Dana. 

“What are we going to do?” Jack said his whole body was shaking. He hated that he couldn’t do anything. He needed to have a task or he was going to go insane. 

“Gloria is calling the police.” Robby sighed. 

“What!” Jack snapped. “That could get Y/N killed we…” 

“Jack, we can’t do anything. We aren’t equipped to handle this. And you know that you aren’t thinking straight right now. The police will know what is best to do. They will help Y/N.” 

Jack sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. He knew Robby was right. 

After 15 agonizing minutes Gloria returned. “I have talked with the hostage team, they are going to stay outside but will move in if things turn bad.” 

Jack let out a dry laugh. “So we are just going to wait.” 

“Doug Driscoll has no priors, the police are confident that once he gets what he wants, he will let Y/N go.” 

“And what happens if the tests that Y/N is performing turn out bad. What if he get’s bad news. Do you think he isn’t going to get a little emotional. And can you confidnetly tell me he won’t take that emotion out on my wife!” Jack screamed. 

“Jack I think you need to take a walk.” Robby said. As he placed his hand on his friends back and started to walk towards the trauma bay. 

“I can’t deal with her.” He growled. “She doesn’t give a shit about anything but her fucking money.” 

“Jack, I know you are terrified right now. But blowing up on Gloria, while hilarious, isn’t going to help anything. Y/N is smart. And she is a fucking badass, she’s not going to let this bastard do anything to take her away from you ok.” 

“I’m surprised she hasn’t kicked his ass already.” Jack joked slightly. 

“Oh just wait until he let’s his guard down, that fucker won’t know what hit him.” Robby laughed and the two laughed today. And for the first time since he got there Jack felt like he could breath slightly. 

“Never a dull day in the Pitt.” He sighed. 

“So a kid huh,” Robby said changing the subject. “How are you feeling about that?”

“Honestly more excited than I ever thought I would.” Jack beamed. “You know how she told me. She bought Coop a bandana that said big brother.” Coopers was Jack and  Y/N geriatric black lap. 

“How far along is she?” 

“About 8 weeks.” Jack sighed and the fear started to set back in. “I tried to convince her to stop working. I was worried the stress wouldn’t be good for the baby.” 

“Jack, you and I both know Y/N is going to be working until she is ready to pop. And she is far too good at her job for us to lose her.” Robby smiled. 

“I’m really hoping its a girl.” Jack smiled. “I just think having a mini Y/N running around will be the greatest thing.” 

“Oh you won’t stand a chance if it’s a girl, Y/N already has you wrapped around her finger, and if you have a girl, you will be completely outnumbered.” Robby teasaed. 

“That sounds like heaven brother I can’t lie.” 

“I’m happy for you man.” Robby smiled. 

“Jack,” Dana said popping in. “Y/N just called for an EKG.” 

“I’m on it.” Jack said as he rushed to gather everything he needed. He also grabbed his pocket knife and hid it in his pocket, hoping he might find an opportunity to get Y/N out. 

As he got to the door he found Y/N waiting with Driscoll still behind her. 

“Dr. Abbott here says that she needs two people to do this EKG that I need, is that correct?” He snapped and Y/N locked eyes with Jack. 

“Yes, you need two people to run the machines.” Jack lied. 

“Alright, well come on in then, but no funny business.” 

Jack just nodded as he walked into the room. 

“Are you a doctor?” Driscoll asked as the two of them worked on setting up the EKG. 

“Yes, I’m Doctor Y/L/N.” Jack said not risking saying that he and Y/N were married in case it set him off. 

“Good. I don’t want any nurses not after having waited for so long to get seen.” 

“Mr. Driscoll was complaining of chest pains, he is concerned that he may have had a heart attack.” Y/N said as she stood on one side of Driscoll attaching the nodes. “Nothing  showed up on the Echo. But we want to get as many tests as possible.” 

“All I want is to get the care that I deserve.” Driscoll snapped moving the gun from pointing at Y/N’s head to pointing at her stomach. 

“Hey!” Jack snapped before he even could stop himself. Y/N looked at Jack eyes wide and Driscoll just smiled smugly moving the gun back to Y/N’s head. 

“You got a problem with what’s going on? Huh tough guy.” 

“If you want to get the care you deserve, I’m your guy. I’m the Senior Attending. I outrank Doctor Y/N.” 

“Jack, don’t.” Y/N snapped. 

“Well then you should have volunteered buddy. Doctor Abbott here took one for the team, and I’m sticking with her. And I hate to break it to you, she’s a lot easier on the eyes than you are.” 

Jack fought back a growl and he stuck his hand in his pocket wrapping his hand around his pocket knife, opening it in his pocket. 

“Hey!” Driscoll screamed as he pointed the gun at Jack, “What do you have in pocket!” 

Y/N took the opportunity to lunge for the gun but Driscoll was fasted and he slammed the butt of the gun into the side of Y/N’s head. 

“Don’t fucking touch her!” Jack roared. 

“Hands up! Let me see you hands!” Driscoll screamed as he grabbed Y/N by the back of her neck roughly and shoved the barrel of the gun roughly into the area where he just hit her, causing her to yelp in pain. “Get your hands out of your fucking pockets or I will fucking shoot her.” 

Jack threw his hands up quickly. “They are out! Jesus, I have nothing in my pockets!” He looked at Y/N and could see the blood coming down from her temple, and she had tears streaming down her face. “Please just let her go.” He pleaded, his voice cracking.

taglist: @rosewritesitout, @brnesblogposts

[kirby-obscure-sexyperson-tourny]

Meta Knight. King Dedede. Moley from Kirby and the Amazing Mirror for the Nintendo DS. Everyone knows these guys. We’ve all seen ‘em.

But what if there was a poll for characters nobody knows about? The ones that are always overshadowed by bigger, flashier, more important types. On the off chance someone mentions them, you have to look up who it even is. Or what it is. The real nothings of the series. Who is the hottest nobody according to the people?

If that sounds like something you’d enjoy, then this is the tournament for you!

RULES:

1. Submissions cannot be a playable character, story boss, plot-relevant NPC, or have a speaking role.

Exceptions: If they only appear one time in one game and never again, have no dialogue, do not have actual story relevance(you could switch them out and nothing would change), and are ONLY SUBMITTED ONCE, I will allow it because it would be really funny.

Addendum: Non-story forms of excluded characters are also excluded. This includes Soul Forms and the like. Sorry, Aeon Hero(Dark).

2. Non-characters are allowed. Wanna submit a piece of stage design? How about just an entire stage(that isn’t a boss stage or plot-important area)? Maybe a music track you really like(that isn’t a boss theme)? Go for it. This could be the thrilling return of everyone’s favorite block, or it could get disqualified because too many people had the same idea. Choose wisely…

3. Anything submitted more than 3 times is automatically disqualified. Not obscure enough.

4. Subsets of characters are allowed. If you want to just submit every type of Bronto Burt, go for it. They might get disqualified now that I put the idea out there, though.

5. Feel free to be as specific as you want. Think more people should think about Wheelie but specifically the ones seen fleeing the Halberd in Revenge of Meta Knight? Want to remind everyone about the two Yarn Waddle Dees seen napping together under a tree with a heart made of beads above them? Well, they’ll probably get disqualified now since I just used them as examples, but you get the idea.

6. Make as many submissions as you want. Just keep in mind that I am but one person running this whole tournament.

Make your submissions here!