#i am going batshit crazy over them rn

[pyxy-styx]

I fucking love my OCs

Alex specifically

She is my baby

I love her

Her and Charlie

They are twins and I love them

Charlie is the older twin

Alex is their annoying little sister

[saturnns-star]

I feel like we need more pathetic wet cat x angry cracked out stinky chihuahua ship rep

[redr0sewrites]

Can you write Vox x reader where like the reader just says like really unhinged things and just like vile things whenever they rage and stuff like the internet could be slow or smth and the reader is just like “IM GOING TO RIP OFF MY SKIN” idk man I’m kinda just self projecting rn like you can right anything with it tbh idk sorry for rambling anyway you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna

THIS IS SO MEEEEE I LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this i have over 70 hazbin hotel requests in my inbox 😭

🥀Cw: fluff, crack, silly vox

when he first met you, vox was charmed by your seemingly sweet nature- that is, until you were pissed

your unholy screech of how you were going to rip off your skin if he cut the wifi again was both endearing and confusing in his eyes

vox would just short circuit for a second, just blinking at you while he tries to process what you just said

once it clicks, he just starts giggling. vox very rarely genuinely laughs, most of his laughs are professional or part of the persona he adopts as the leader of vox enterprises, but when he's so shocked by what you just said, he can't control the booming laughter thay fills the room

he's wheezing and gasping, each barking laugh only pissing you off more

"what's so funny? if you keep laughing i am going to fucking break ur fingers like carrot sticks!" you snap, and vox only giggles harder

after a few seconds, you can't help but notice how adorable his laughter is, and soon you don't mind it as much

once you two are officially together, you notice how stressed vox often is, yet how he seems to visibly relax around you

the batshit crazy things you say, which normally disgusts other people, only seem to amuse him

its actually a wonderful dynamic because you bring some spontaneity and slight insanity into vox's otherwise irritating and depressing lifestyle, and vox balances out the crazy things you say and calms you down every time

you often find yourself searching for new phrases to baffle him with, and for new ways to make him laugh

after vox has a stressful day, he enjoys just listening to you ramble about the most insane things and adores hearing whatever fucked up saying you've adopted recently

vox notices himself beginning to copy your speech patterns. he only begins to realize when he slips in an exceptionally odd metaphor into a work meeting and everyone stares at him, yet his heart skips a beat at the thought

there's something so charming to him about the fact that he's adopting your mannerisms, and you truly make him laugh when no one else can

whenever another one of the vees pisses him off, he always comes to you for advice on incredibly deranged comebacks, and you never disappoint!

he's won multiple arguments by just repeating one of your fucked up sayings and the other vees being too lowkey shocked to disagree

vox LOVES IT when you diss people he hates, hearing you ramble some fucked up insults about alastor made him fall in love with you all over again

"that worm on a string fucked up karen cut bob looking ass- if i see him around here again im going to eat a fucking brick" *cue vox looking at you with the biggest heart eyes*

overall, you are both menaces, but you're menaces in love ♥️

vox lay with his head in your lap, the blue light of his screen illuminating the dim room as you rambled mindlessly about your day.

"and THEN, this fucking asshole tried to flirt with me! ME!! as if he doesn't know were dating! ugh, it makes me feel like i have an entire beehive living beneath my skin. i swear if he even looks at me again im going to lick wet cement i can NOT deal. how can you even work with him? he's such a fucking CREEP voxy, i'm going to cut off those ugly ass wings and shove them so far down his throat- hey, are you even listening?"

you look down to see vox half asleep, his eyelids drooping as his light dimmed. "keep talking.." he murmurs, looking up at you with a lazy smile on his face. "you're my favorite person t' listen to.."

i love the idea of vox with a partner who challenges his very idea of power. he clearly wraps himself in a sort of persona, surrounding himself with powerful people and acting like he's so serious and important. i love the idea of him falling in love with someone who can break down his walls in seconds, someone who can dismantle his entire bravado act and who allows him to truly be himself. this is such a wonderful prompt and i am eating this up. nonnie ur awesome!!!!

[rainofthetwilight]

Silly question but what is by far the stupidest thing you headcanon for the ninja?

HII ALIZIB!! TY FOR THE ASK!! <3333 (staring at every pixel of ur art rn)

hoo boy you're in for a ride, i have alot of them lmao

here we go:

-

lloyd has road rage, i am forever standing by this headcanon 😎 he also has his '3 am' days where he randomly goes out of his room at midnight to the kitchen just to eat some dry cereal, lord knows how many times he's scared someone from his glowing eyes

kai steals nya's eyeliner, also has road rage, takes long ass showers (and sings in em) and 100% wears those long acrylic nails for fun (he has so many scars on his hand bc of the amount of times he'd scratch on it)

yknow that annoying beeping noise for censoring swear words? zane has a switch entirely for that, it makes the team laugh their asses off especially when he goes into a fit (purposely just to make them laugh), like it's just constant "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" while theyre all already dead on the floor from laughter 😭

jay BARGES into lloyd's room whenever there's ANY update about starferer, and they go batshit when they rant about it, he's (canoncially atp) the MASTER of videogames and loves trolling random people, and he totally plays tomodachi life on his switch

nya's hoodies? theyre all stolen from everyone and she NEVER returns them (only under special circumstances), and she calls kai's stubble ugly while she goes crazy over jay's

cole dances at the most random of times, like he could be walking normally and then all of a sudden he just. V i b e s. one time he stood infront of jay's room and just started dancing out of boredom

pixal playfully fights with zane over what they should make for breakfast, only for her to lecture the ninja over how her blueberry pancakes are much better than zane's chocolate waffles

wu just. glows. at the randomest of times, and cringes at that moment he sang 'shake what ur mama gave you'

-

YEEAAHH i dont know if these count as stupid but AUGAHSHA I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH <33 (i really should make a hc post bc i have alot of em)

[sp4ceboo]

listen to me rant about predebut unwhitewashed ateez:

firstly, i apologise for this absolute shitpost, and i don't know where any of the photos are from so apologies if they're acc urs or smt.

secondly, i apologise for the fact none of this is in order because this originally started as predebut yungi and then descended into ot8 chaos.

thirdly, i apologise for the huge rambles about whitewashing and fine men.

lastly, i apologise because i have no clue how to change size of pictures in tumblr so some are massive and some are tiny (send help)

just look at this:

OK FIRSTLY LIKE MINGI'S ACNE?? i never thought i'd find acne attractive (like, i don't mind it, but my view on it has always been pretty neutral, it's just a thing that happens sometimes). erm like first of all thank you for debunking that stupid 'glass skin' thing because for the people who actually don't have glass skin it's such an expectation to live up to, and secondly you're fine as fuck. LIKE SHUT UP RN I WANT TO KISS HIM AUBAUVVFASIKYFSAA. and then there's that picture of him in the car which i can't find rn and he's like looking to the side and he highkey looks like keeho from p1h like um mingi u had no right to look that fine predebut like have you seen skz predebut they literally looked like infants?

everyone else under the cut

ok, onto exhibit b, yunho.

LOOK AT HIM. i actually don't know if this is predebut yunho because he looks damn good but the twitter post said so, so idk but like??? he was either 19 or sub 19 here like???? I DO NOT SEE 19 YEAR OLD MEN OUTSIDE ON THE STREET LOOKING AS FINE AS THIS. and if this picture isn't predebut well my arguement is still valid because the other pictures of him which i can't be bothered to add rn still look cute asf.

i love the predebut pictures of seonghwa because he's so unwhitewashed it's beautiful.

im pretty sure this is a picture of him from the third kq fellaz thingy, so that counts as predebut, but OMFG HIS SMILE??? AND HIS SKIN IS SO NICE AND LIKE UNWHITEWASHED?? LET MY BOY'S SKIN BREATHE OMFG-

here's predebut hongjoong:

LIKE????? HE'S SO CUTE I WANNA PUT HIM IN MY POCKET?? i know this post has disintegrated from me saying predebut ateez were fine to me just fawning over them being cute teenagers but like i would a hundred percent have fallen for them if they had been my classmates or anything so um yeah.

so onto yeosang:

like... the sass? the visuals? from day one? I SEE YOU BROTHER. also ignore how the pictures are getting like younger and younger ok finding predebut pictures is hard. oh yeah and did i mention whitewashing in this post like thank god the predebut pics aren't whitewashed.

ok now san:

LIKE EXCUSE ME???? I HAVE MANY WORDS TO SAY?? like umm he was a hundred percent a twig back then but like one look at his unwhitewashed face and i would have d i e d. he'd have been one of those guys i saw across the street and had to do a double take because he's highkey FINE. also it doesn't help that i acc know a guy who kind of looks like a mix of predebut san and predebut seonghwa who i highkey had a crush on last year but um tmi.

so onto wooyoung:

i acc had to look hard for a good picture where i wasn't about to start cracking up over his bowl cut so we're just gonna accept this one. as you can see he already had the 'i am a kpop idol with trendy shoes on' thing going on so his fate was already destined. also more appreciation for no whitewashing like THANK YOU THANK YOU AAAAAH. also another guy i'd probably have a crush on if they were in my class.

last but not least jongho:

i know there were many funnier pictures i could have put on but like um i just really love this photo bc he just looks so... jongho. erm and let me mention one more time that his skin is breathing!! he's not whitewashed!! what a man.

congrats if you made it to the end of this absolute batshit crazy post

[secriden]

anon🕵️ - I'm one of those that hinted towards joondunk shows based on your love for 🐕‍🦺 fort :p

tutoryim are also a pretty visual cp to look for and firstkhao in the eclipse (only friends might be too intense if you are starting in bl). It's lovely to see your enthusiasm ☺️

feel free to post unhinged dunk moments because we rarely get them compiled unlike 🥑

for both firstkhao & joongdunk the bts are a must watch!

alsjdflasjdf OMG ANON YOU WERE RIGHT!?!?! I really want to make a post about all of joong and fort's similarities because like throughout this whole process i keep feeling like i was re-discovering joong because there's SO MUCH crossover and clearly i have a Type because it took nearly nothing for me to fall in head over heels for joong. *u* but there's so much??! the eyebrows, the eye crinkle smiles, the sunshine golden retriever disposition, the way they are overwhelmed by the cuteness of their respective partners, the way they're both engaging with alternative creative pursuits, the way they're both incredibly hard working and have such drive, the way they both melt when their partners give in/turn it back on them. i've so many FEELINGS about them rn.

tutoryim: i really really liked them in cutie pie. in fact they were the only couple i really... connected with?? so its was sad they were so minor. i tried to watch BOTW but grew frustrated with it before i could finish it. i plan to go back to it at some point with re-adjusted expectations because it definitely didn't live up to its potential but the visuals are <3

i'm excited to see firstkhao in THK!! i've been meaning to check out The Eclipse but just haven't cuz i don't have the time. but i'm also not sure i really want to watch yet another "school" series unless its for a cp i'm already invested in the way i am with joongdunk. so i may go back and watch it after THK.

wait, ok, what does the avocado emoji mean??? *confused* hahaha i need to find that one of dunk coping a feel of joong cuz it was so random and unnecessary. xD

also, bts of what? HA? *u*

🕵️‍♀️ - my hc for dk is that he gives spoiled young master vibes used to bat his eyelashes and joong is capital W whipped for him. based on the bts they seem to share the unhinged sense of humour bc dunk often baits him into it. i can't even imagine when they were matched as a cp. For joong to be introduced to this very pretty funny young man and dunk getting a handsome protective (he is so respectful of him particularly in regards to physical stuff) cp i wouldn't be surprised if other gmmtv actors/actresses would have wanted to pair with either of them, even now 😂🤣

just confirming dk = dunk? my brain went seventeen's main vocalist??? xD

ohhhhhh is he from a wealthy family?? tbh its so funny to me how many thai bl actors are just... from rich families because it means they could do anything and chose to make out with other pretty boys for their careers and that's so incredibly valid and i love it (yes, i am mostly thinking of mile).

honestly joong is so SO whipped for him. i am transfixed by that story of joong calling dunk before they were confirmed cp and being all "do you think we'll be put together? i hope we'll be put together" like he was so committed so fast ugh!!

and ohhhh i haven't seen anything much yet about joong being protective of dunk, but it wouldn't surprise me. he has the vibe. do you remember which interview/post it's from??

lol everything i've seen about gmmtv seems like all the actors just love everyone else a ton. like wasn't there this thing about gun atthaphan kissing another of the gmmtv boys (not his cp partner) and the internet going batshit crazy about it? xD so the vibe seems to be love all round and its very sweet. *u*

[kaizsche]

You are such an incredible writer, but you’re also an amazing gif maker! So, what’s your favourite gif set that you’ve made this year? Also, what is the fic that you’re most excited to write in the new year? Thanks for being such an incredible friend Kai 🥰

(literally me seeing your ask and am i copying q's answer to her own ask? the answer is yaaaaaaaaas.)

i don't really see myself as an AMAZING gif maker and an INCREDIBLE writer so to hear all these compliments from you is just straight up melting my goddamn heart vis. *teary-eyed emoji cos im in pc*

so to ask your... well... ask, i haven't been kind of productive this year, both in writing and editing stuff so i can't say i have a wide selection to choose from, but here's my ultimate fav gifset. like fr.

which predictably is a gifset from your fic which i've gotten so much interaction on and just having you message me about this was just... it honestly made me cry so yeah...

the freaking 'i know you have a lot of fic planned this year' just cracked me tf up. like... you and q know i go all ramble kai on anything resembling my fic ideas so you know what i already have in store next year...

first off, i am sooo excited to finally enter the spuffy writing fandom so there's that. i already have like 20+ spuffy wips in my docs rn but the most excited i am for next year are these two, i think: (and i'll be letting y'all take a lil peek of them)

sun and moon

“Who are you?” The Slayer demanded. Buffy could hear the restless fear simulating his heart and the cautious steps he took to back away from her. Smart Slayer. So he has honed his skills then? Knew she was different from the other vampires he dealt around the small town. Buffy grinned wickedly. It’ll be fun to dance with this one. “I kill your kind for sport, Slayer.” She let her words stew in the air, watched him put the pieces together—inch by agonizing inch.

spuffy dark fic (warning has possible incest!)

Joyce's heart stopped completely. Because standing at the door, a boy, her son she hadn't seen in years stood before her. Joyce had wanted to believe he changed—hair longer and tied at the back of his neck, still dressed in his boarding school's uniform but a few sizes bigger than she had first seen him—it was his eyes that gave him away.  It was cold and unfeeling. He regarded her as if she wasn't his mother, as if she was nothing to him at all. "Joyce."  "William—" She watched his gaze snap over her shoulder and at once, the piercing cold melted into warm fondness as did the trembling tension in his body. "Hello, cutie." "Will!"  Buffy barrelled past her, leaping in his arms and she wasn't afraid, she trusted him to catch her. William staggered a few feet back from the impact, wrapping one arm across her waist and the other held her bottom to prevent her from falling. "You're here. You're really here."  William held Joyce's gaze, a muscle in his jaw twitching as if to dare her to scold him—to remove him once more out of his Buffy's life.  "Never gonna happen, love. I'll be here forever. I promise."  Buffy sighed happily, enjoying the feel of his warmth, his hands on her. Joyce sighed in resignation, turning away from the challenge in his eyes.  "It's cold outside. Come in." At this, William grinned. "Thanks, mum."

last but not least, how could i forget tvd?

take my breath rewrite (kolena + klena) i mean how can i ever resist kolena theyre like my main otp. i go batshit crazy for them.

Elena gravitates towards the lake, stares at her reflection in the water. Hates her face and her blood more than she realizes. She loved her face and her body once upon a time. Now, all it ever does is haunt her every step and shadow surrounded by men who knew every crevice of her body. They knew her better than she ever did. (It is the face that launched a thousand year curse, damning the girls that carried it. Reduced to nothing but objects in a man’s eyes. Katherine was right. I am always right. She hears her taunting giggle and sees her twin’s knowing smirk. I told you so. Nothing could ever bring more joy to her evil doppelganger than proving that she was right.)

kolena roommates au (this was actually inspired by a spuffy fic i read LOL)

"Okay, 20 questions." "Go." "Who's your favorite?" "Favorite who?" Kol groaned. "Favorite Mikaelson sibling," and looked at her bashfully, like he was expecting her to… say his name? "Rebekah." He yelled out an indignant cry, "What a load of bollocks! You're telling me, after everything we've been through, I'm still—" "You are a favorite," She cut him off.  "Really?" He gaped at her, astonished.  "My least favorite." She bit hard on her tongue, seeing the sheer disappointment and anguish encroaching on his face. And somehow, his voice had gotten louder, belting out at a higher register than Mariah Carey. "I rank lower than even bloody Niklaus?!"

i do hope to be as productive as i was in 2022 when it comes to publishing fics cause i'll really wither and die if i don't manage to publish these four.

special fic mentions:

the song of wandering aengus

banish air from air

only, helen (tentative title)

and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

& special user mentions for just being there for me (listening, suggesting, reading) when i was going batshit crazy over my fic ideas. you're all wonderful ppl and i'm glad to have you in my life <3

@katherineholmes @qvnthesia @finnismyoriginalsin

thank you so much for this ask, vis <3 love ya 5ever

[petrichoraline]

guncher or noeythi

i wanted to answer this when the noeythi post was up so i could link it but anywaysss

i am going to paste here what i wrote back when i received this ask on the 24th of april (maybe the answer date varies a bit):

"it took me way too long to comprehend who noeythi is lmaoo i haven't seen their ship name before; this is such a cool question, although my initial reaction was "meh idc bout guncher that much."

^the fact i'd go batshit insane over noeythi the following days is hilarious

"it's a bit hard for me to separate a pairing from its show - the way i felt about the piece of media as a whole has a big effect on how i feel about the couples in it, irrespective of how "good" they are. if i had a fun time with a bad show with questionable couples maybe i'd look more fondly on them than on a multifaceted couple from a "better" piece of media that somehow left me feeling underwhelmed."

^this is still valid and i was thinking of i will knock you and its beautiful aesthetic that is the first thing that comes to mind when i think of noeythi

"if i had watched the most recent abaab ep after finishing i will knock you yesterday maybe i would be at a more neutral point but rn i recall noeythi better (tho i did do that forcebook differences post two days ago,,)

^now i am one episode behind AGAIN but i watched ep.8 and 9 after IWKY so

gun and cher are each other's safe space - they're two hurt adults finding colour in life through each other.

this one i stand behind, they are truly lovely in the way they support each other at their absolute lowest and still make their life more exciting daily together

they're really cute and silly and crazy bout each other, i love that, honestly

and yet i think..i wanna say noeythi? it hurts me but they are such a unique couple, i think more memorable in the long run and im sure i had my reasons to vent about them as much as i did (im scared to open the document these days lol)

[shinakazami1]

hhhh long ask anon here! thinking of calling myself 307 anon…(not me seeing a person looking at details I didn't care much about and make a whole identity out of it)

SO UHMMM HELLO?? YOUR RESPONSE IS SO LOVELY??? IM SO GLAD MY ASK HAD SUCH A POSITIVE IMPACT (holding my phone tightly giggling kicking my legs) (looking at you compliment chain)

You. you talked about me to your close friends and the server. I was presented in front of the councils. please have mercy on me. aaaaaaaaa *shaking violently*. (how were their reactions. i like reading others’ thoughts)

ok I read the soulmate bodyswap series and. what . that's too much sugar for a normal human to handle. such sweetness, my dentists aren’t going to like this/j

no reviews this ask, sorry! hhhhh I just want to pick the details I liked and then ramble about them (which is…a lot aikdhsadhjd, considering the last ask already took 1 hour and a half to write and edit-) But I've been rereading Dear Stanley and the soulmate bodyswap series for the second time though! getting all those details in…ugh dearest most wonderful blorbos and their writers,,, >:))

i guess i'll make up for it by a marine animal fact? although being called puppers of the sea, seals are actually closer to bears than to dogs!…maybe many people already knew it but-

have a nice weekend!

Anon I hecking stimmed when I saw getting a message from you (tell me if you ever want to become more than parasocial relation and show yourself / silly )

I will start calling you 307 anon too hehe, we adore staring at minor details and making them not as minor anymore

(The Soulmate AU fic is right here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3264705

Lemme respond under the cut:

Of course they have a huge impact, really, today has been a good day overall for me but I showed my roommate that I got another ask from you since I was v happy (read your message 3 times and then reading it rn again to just respond well to each point foahhifaso)

I did! They said that was v nice of you to write and well people from Stanarr and some mutuals decided to send asks and I am just thankful to every single one of you ;w;;w;w;w; I kept saying how nice it is for you to choose to spend time to write these and esp now hearing that you wrote that last ask for 1 hour DUDE my gosh you just are so considerate to share your appreciation with creators and I really am thankful to you!! EDIT: I shared with a few close buds and one of them was like "get them on our discord server, they have been accepted" OIHFSASOA

I AM GLAD, Surf and I wanted it to be a nice funny and fluffy thing and it was a blast writing these idiots (esp Stanley was my fav cus I just kept on throwing the most batshit crazy things to say at this man)

It's alr!! You already just writing the first paragraph made me so happy oiahioaosi and YOU HECKING REREAD THOSE MY GOODNESS 307 ANON YOU ARE SO KIND ;;;; and also hehe glad you think I'm wonderful *twirls my hair like a high school girl and then misses a step falling over-*

I didn't know that actually! I am right now reading this and hearing seals evolved from land creatures, huh, we learn everyday, thank you for the fun trivia anon!!

I hope you yourself will have a lovely rest of the day and weekend and you are doing alr there!! We might be strangers but you doing this for the third time just means a lot, to know you spend so much time and effort on these and want to read my stuff, just thank you :>

[evanescentdawn]

Hi!! I'd love to hear your answers for 3, 9, and 29 from the ask game :D

hi, blue!!!!! thank u for sending this in ^^ <3

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I already answered this! but what’s the fun if I don’t pick another one !!! generally it would have been “in this small space of our kitchen…” but I think it’s just a fav for what it means. cuz honestly I haven’t reread that in some while. maybe I should do that now. (I did and it has stuff in there that I Like but a lot that annoys me rn it so not my fav def of how it’s written overall but v *proud* of it)

oh I would love to do this for a “wip” since I feel like I have v many faves in wip LOL

I’ve been rereading the “soul reaper!orihime” recently the edition with byakuya & orihime. and I just. Love. It so much. it leaves a lot to edited but it’s so good. I love orihime’s pov, she’s so fun to write and it’s so fun to read it! also the interactions between byakuya & orihime are SO FUN. like I would not think that I would have ever written it but it’s so <3 to me

it’s a def a fave <3

the part feels so ridiculous in a way cuz the way the focus is on baguette. like cannot be normal about baguette considering all the memes LOL also just. I Love all the lil bits of character. orihime is a v precious character to write/read and I Love her. she brings so much energy & personality to the piece it’s so darn fun also to have that constrast with byakuya who is like. in every way her opposite LOL

like this the approx beginning of the entire scene (maybe fic…?) and I *love* it. i just always love it when I get to refer to characters I always use first names when talking about that by their last name!!!!! it’s so fun, it’s like seeing another multitude of them u don’t normally (like heh reminding of this other bleach wip where I use Sado and not chad the nickname that I forget honestly is *not* his name lol) and it’s *so fun* also I love exploring orihime in The Kuchiki House and how really this whole Dynamic is ODD. cuz like she’s just like a shinigami student here and there really is… no way usually for these two to have any connection???? unless ur rukia and ur sister was married to the Kuchiki. I just wanted to have this dynamic and so made it happened HAHAHA and it’s So Fun. also IDEK what it is but also just Love how I was writing this. it just seems *so good* and *fun*

also this is the most funniest scene Ever to me:

there is just a lot of delights in this piece that im v loving to reread over !!!!!!! like “Kuchiki, at least, doesn’t say anymore about her poor manners and takes a seat. Oh wow! He does it so elegantly, she can’t help but admire it each time.” >> only orihime would pick out a detail of Kuchiki sitting down so elegantly and be awed like that. she’s so endearing I Love her.

I think the True Charm of this fic is that it’s orihime pov and also orihime-byakuya dynamic which is batshit crazy to me and so fun and I Love. Orihime-byakuya is Not a dynamic you would see normally. you wouldn’t see these two characters and be like “they’d be besties” and I think that’s the most fun of it.

also the whole concept and how THIS IS ACTUALLY A CRACK TREATED SERIOUS IDEA djjdjdjd. she gets to have a sword that turns into a baguette LOL. the whole baguette scene having actual significance to her character and later leading to a scene…. the moment i wanted to writw which is why this entire doc was born…. it makes me love it even more ahahahaha

okay I can clearly go on about this all day lol so stopping it here jfjfjfj

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!

honestly reading this question made me laugh considering where I am in writing (in major writer block). I don’t write ever day definitely! well, physically anyways. I do have my days where I Think about writing almost daily and write in my mind but getting things down is a force of its own ha….

like rn in my mood that’s “i very much want to write these bunch of cool ideas I got and want to write for my new obsession fandom but I don’t want to write physically which is frustrating cuz I KNOW it would be so fun but the effort of trying to get it down seems like a hassle also the executive dysfunction is real and im going through it” yeah! djjdjdjddjkd. but im soooo determined to get something. OH WAIT I did. if I remember. it was tmmr. I think it was … lmao did I just write tmmr. I meant yesterday. IT WAS INFACT YESTEDAY HELL YES it makes me v glad to see that I did get the times write djjdjdjd

it was mostly me trying to get me an idea that I can write for ninjago (a fandom unfortunately that is hard for me to write) but V COOL I actually made progress and wrote some lines before life was in way and now… I am like I Could work on it but also I am Not going to lol. also wrote just random drafts for bleach as bleach song was in playlist next and was in mood and it just pissed me off how these two fandoms REFUSE to write for me. also more pissed off how bleach was the fandom that I was just trying to write for before ninjago. anyways.

oh that reminds me. there was this also v cool idea I got for this crossover idea that’s been sitting in my docs >> orv/ninjago >> that I WANTED to write for but ::pensive:: ::pensive:: as u can guess, I Did Not. it’s frustrating and I know that leaving it like this, will make my future self regretful. because they won’t know how to write it as i didn’t write even notes :/

anyways. so yeah, do write daily. but wish I could at least write a bit pls my brain im So determined to get something down for today. this is a threat, brain.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

oh this is a v fun question, thank you.

as u know the saying goes never say never but I GENUINELY think that I Will never post any of my spn stuff that is not sam+rowena cuz I v much see myself getting back to them. was going through my spn docs just now and wow there is a lot and it’s v fun seeing how I wrote then cuz it’s soooo diff from me now. also here is a bit that I REALLY like, confrontations are my fav ahhhhh

“You’re a hypocrite, you know.” Sam hisses. “You tried to save me many times with your life on the line. Why can’t I?”

“You were going to sell your soul!”

“So what?”

Dean falters at the flippant words and in a quick movement, Sam throws him off and it’s Dean who’s pressed against the wall. Facing Sam’s fierce expression.

“Listen,” He says, low and dangerous. “You’re my brother and I’m not going to watch you bleed out and die on me when there’s something I can do—even if that means giving away my soul. I can’t - “

His voice cracks, here. Expression breaking. And he drops his head. The tight grip on him eases but Dean doesn’t move.

He can’t move.

“I can’t—lose you.” Sam says. And Dean understands those words in ways he wishes he never could. He pulls his brother in, holds him in his arms, and breathes out.

“Just—not that. Not your soul. Please.” He begs but it’s not what he wanted to say.

Sam doesn’t reply, fingers clinging on back that it’s almost painful.

(But it’s Dean, who gives away his soul. For a year. Sam shouts at him, thumps his fists against his chest and after he’s finished screaming, his voice all dry and hoarse from it, he says. “I’ll save you. I won’t let you go to hell.” His eyes determined and fierce.

Dean doesn’t say anything. Lets Sam talk. Gives him this moment. A reluctant, hateful festering hope inside him, without his consent. Maybe, he thinks—)

(Sam never does though, in the end, save him. Dean screams when the hellhounds get to him, never stops, screams louder when he’s down there, in the pit, Alastair’s knife buried elbow-deep into his chest.)

like MAN, that was something!

also I do have a cut scene from my recent fic I posted! :D

I really do like how I described the hair falling over his side parting and “the long eyelashes that add to his handsome” also just the whole passage! it was a fun lil bit. I am sure I will use it in some other wip, it just didn’t fit in that one! also LMAO I have to say I do v much love the “Hmph. It’s really too bad his personality is like that. It offsets most of his handsomeness.” It makes me laugh so much. DEF using that somewhere else, it’s too good. <3

I do other cut but it’s like. one liners. that is just normal jfjfjfj.

also this question intrigued me to see if I had another cut like this from other fics I posted and uh… for the first five or so at least I honestly don’t think I have any. huh, so v curious to note.

[chryzure-archive]

whenever you ask for asks my first thought is ALWAYS aus… so which chrysimordred + chrysijacks au is currently taking up the most residence in your brain? >:) also, because i like to imagine chrysi all dressed up… what’s the difference between how jacks would dress her up for a fancy/formal event and how mordred would dress her up? what kind of clothes do they like seeing her wear the most? likewise, what does SHE like to see them wear the most? :3

THIS IS EXCELLENT BC MY BRAIN IS ALSO ALWAYS THINKING ABT AUS.

for chrysimordred, im boring rn… im jst thinking abt their modern au and im fleshing out their canon storyline (where i pay homage to quest for camelot by taking away mordred’s eyesight—to hurt chrysi specifically, because it IS partially her fault 💔💔💔). BUT IN THE MODERN AU, mordred is SOOO flirty and chrysi does NOT know how to deal with it. they’ll show up to the same coffee shop to do hw and when he’s in front of her in line, he’ll say his order, then turn around to her and be like, “and what did you want again?” chrysi is torn because she doesn’t like accepting help much BUT ALSO her drink is expensive and she doesn’t want to pay for it 🤧 the beginning of a meaningful relationship right there! that, and also mordred is chrysi’s model for her art and.. he does model things 🥰 for her! and there’s also ghosts around too + mordred can still speak with animals, so they bond over their crazy wild gifts while also running around the college campus doing random little cases!! also chrysi believes mordred doesn’t ACTUALLY like her because he’s still not over his sorta-ex (keeping the weird age gap between him and his uncle, where he’s a year older than his uncle, because wow… imagine trying to explain that to ur crush. it’s like modern family fjdkcjdksjcjfks). BUT NO, MORDRED IS IN LOVE. fell in love the moment chrysi was like “i love hiking in the woods and trying to find dead bodies” HELLO??? WHAT A BATSHIT THING TO SAY, MORDRED WANTS TO KISS HER DIRECTLY ON THE MOUTH.

chrysijacks au i’m thinking of… oh god, i think of so many at all times of the day, UMMM—CURRENTLY i’ve been thinking abt my hercules au because i’m drawing it!! i’ve been thinking abt the scene where jacks backs up into cupid’s bow and he’s like “… oh god, i am in love with her.” constantly thinking abt his sinking dread whenever he falls in love with chrysi in every single au. he’s so horrified and he’s also so deeply in love that he can’t do anything about it. OH, IVE ALSO BEEN STRONGLY THINKING ABT MY LAST APPRENTICE AU BCUZ JACKS WATCHING CHRYSI DIE AND ALMOST GOING ON A RAMPAGE (almost tries to kill luna rune, but simeon was NOT fucking having that. then jacks tries to kill simeon, but luna rune reminds him that he’s holding chrysi’s dead body in his arms and she doesn’t deserve her lover hurting others in his grief. instead, he stays with chrysi’s body for the next week—since it can’t rot, as she’s not human!). then chrysi coming back, but she’s slightly different… THEN AZURE COMING BACK AND RUINING EVERYTHING MORE!!! always thinking abt that… BUT i’ve also been thinking about the before all that happens—where chrysi and jacks make their home one for the two of them, and where he gets to help her hunt ghouls and monsters and he kisses her and they walk around her garden and ignore the fact that they have buried ghouls alive under all the flowers 🖤🖤🖤 yeah…. i’m incoherent rn because i love chrysijacks and i don’t know what else to say other than they love each other so much.

WAIT. also thinking about chrysijacks vnc au because i canNOT get over the mental image of jacks trying to get advice “for a friend”, only to be told, “sounds like your friend loves this girl” and jacks to go “HUH?????????” also, this is the au where azure’s the one watching chrysi and jacks flirt and he hates it..,,., how the turntables…….. chrysijacks warming up scene lives in my heart rent free at all times, where they’re so vulnerable and naked (hehe) and jacks finally starts letting himself hope that he might have another chance—cause i LOVE my aus where chrysi and jacks are exes that never officially dated, but jacks wants to win chrysi back so badly… it makes my heart happy 🖤🖤🖤

OKAY, so jacks dresses chrysi up in lots of bold and flashy dresses and he doesn’t frequently think very far ahead about how she can fight in dresses (he’s thinking solely about how very pretty she will be and he thinks of nothing else… well, maybe how fun it’ll be for the dress to be taken care of by the end of the ball 🤔 slutty bitch.), whereas mordred likes seeing chrysi in her more comfortable dresses that she can run in!…. if it so happens that she has slits in her skirts so she can run and he happens to see a bit of leg w her dagger strapped to her thigh, then so be it 🤷‍♀️ he isn’t one to complain! but preferably, mordred likes her being dressed up the way she was up in his alcove 😌

basically, jacks thinks solely abt aesthetics, whereas mordred will think abt the logistics of chrysi moving around in her dresses!!

examples for jacks:

he’ll always give her low cut dresses like this, then he’ll couple them with long skirts like this:

somebody steps on that thing and chrysi’s going sailing backwards. or, more frequently, she’ll jst tear the skirt and leave what was stepped on behind. jacks can’t get mad at her because he messes up his own clothing frequently too. but he’s still irritated.

mordred gives chrysi lighter dresses, something easier to move in, and much more of a goddess aesthetic than jacks’s princess one:

OH GOD, hmmmm, chrysi likes seeing mordred in clothes like these!

the hint of collarbone and the poofy sleeves going into tight cuffs??? HIIIII, she’s GONE. esp when he wears green. she doesn’t know how to function. oh my god. oh my god.

chrysi likes seeing jacks in this

[thou-can-say-azrail]

obidei because why tf not (i have way to many ships with dei yikes)

ok this ship is fucking hilarious and i love it almost as much as itadei because, yes, it seems like pure crack on first sight and should not make sense but it has so much potential (the possible angst and fluff and smut i am) but you know me and we are here for the crack

first of all: obito would be confused af because...he literally started a war over this one girls death and she was an angel and kind (i love her) and then there is dei who will blow you up for absolutely no reason or cause he thinks its funny (i love him even more) and he would tell himself thats unreasonable and stuff but then dei comes in the room shirtless and just out of the shower and there he goes....pining again

and tf is he even supposed to do? go to zetsu and say: “yk how there was this war thing? yeah turns out childhood crushes are temporary and i found someone who i would very much like to date in real life and shit so can we just forget the whole thing with the fake reality, thx?” 

then there is dei who i am 100% convinced would be so mortified about having a crush on fucking tobi and then flat out falling in love with obito uchiha after he reveals his identity

and deidara is so different from these clichè love interests of the “villain” (i refuse to see my son as a real villain i am sry)  like these kind people who will convince them to be better and who see through the masks and shit and fall in love with the good in them nope, he would see obito for the first time without a mask on a battlefield surrounded by corpses and faint (cause he is so fricking hot that i am still not over it ngl) 

the next reason and most important one for me is simple: the drama imagen the world at war and kakashi still shocked about obito and the nations still fucked cause madara and everybody is done with this shit and there comes the akatsuki (edo tensei, still alive idc) and claim they want to help and everybody is suprised and sceptical (cause mass murderes yk it) but also: who tf would say no to the help of s-rank nin in a war 

and they expected many things.... powerful jutsus, them fighting with their great strengh but all they do is step to the side to let deidara through and he takes a deep breath and starts chewing out his bf in front of the whole shinobi alliance and madara uchiha (this is sending me rn)

deidara: *ranting for 5min non stop*

everybody, just awkwardly standing there: tf

kakashi: *confused af* cause this is obito? and he is alive? and the main villain? but why can the blond one talk to him like that? hold up is that the crazy one with the bombs, why tf him ?!?!

team 7, who have all interacted with deidara before and (like everybody else there) can not believe he could have an actual relationship with feelings: what

obito: dei pls-

deidara: oh dont you dare dei me, tf is this shitshow supposed to be? a fucking genjutsu, are you shitting me? do you want me to come up there and punch you?

and obito uchiha, jinchuriki of the juubi, half hashirama cells that heal him instantly, wielder of the mangekyo sharingan and rinnegan: *backs slowly away and half hides behind madara*

everybody: ???????

(also the iwa ppl just watching and being so fucking perplexed like they literally told everybody deidara was batshit and here he is scaring his, apparently, bf (they wont ever be able to wrap their heads around the fact that somebody would want to date dei, ignorant fools all of them) who is powerful enough to wipe the floor with the bijuu)

[ranpoismyblorbo]

Ok so as I said a while back, apparently I am god because I understand the Ice Court Heist so here I am to explain it to you mere mortals in the simplest way possible: bullet points.

(This is just part one I'll post the second one after a while I have history class rn)

They get into the cart to get in as prisoners

Kaz faints cuz too many people and his touch aversion so once they get into the cart everyone is too close and he faints ("It was because she was listening so closely that she knew the exact moment when Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel and the deadliest boy in Ketterdam, fainted" will always be one of my fav dramatic quotes lmao)(this isn't important to plot but it is to my heart)

He dreams about his INNOCENT ASF NINE YEAR OLD SELF GOING THRU TRAUMA THAT WOULD BREAK WHOLE ASS ADULTS- (again not important to plot)

Anyways there is a lil skirmish cuz they didn't have time to check whose places they were taking so the guards were a lil confused and fighting about who fucked up and whose responsibility it is but eventually laziness did its job and they were in.

They were seperated into boys and girls and taken down these walkways which were bulit around (over??) A sort of enclosure with all of the high end tech Fjerda had on display and a banner of "Fjerdan Might" (pls😭)

They had to strip down again Kaz went into almost black out mode BUT HE HELD ON BY THINKING OF INEJ'S VOICE HE KEPT HIS EXTREME PHOBIA AT BAY BY JUST THINKING OF HER VOICE I CAN'T THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭😭😭

Now read the last one again.

Anyways guards found lockpicks in his mouth then they reached the actual prison, Kaz has a mini fight with another prisoner to make sure no one disturbs them ("and to remind himself he wasn't completely helpless" or smthng like that)

Jesper drops chloro gas pill that he had inside his skin under stitches into the pee bucket and everyone faints and the Crows cover their faces then Jesper turns out to be a Fabrikator and creates two lockpicks out of the iron of the jail bars (and flirts with Wylan) and they get out.

Wylan and Kaz go to get the girls out who did the same thing except the actual getting out and Matthias and Jesper get the rope.

They get to the incinerator only to find out it was used that morning and therefore is very very hot and a piece of cloth Jesper threw in there burnt to ashes before touching the coals. Also Nina went with Kaz instead of Jesper and Matthias because Kaz wanted to look for Pekka Rollins. They find Inej's boots and Kaz's gloves and Inej wears them to help her climb and starts up the incinerator.

Meanwhile Nina and Kaz are looking for Yul-Bayur and Nina finds a prison area for Grisha while Kaz goes an extra row than they agreed in his search for Pekka, he finds him, gloats/bloodies him up a bit leaves.

BUT that leads to him being late while returning to the agreed meeting point with Nina and that leads to Nina being distracted and that leads to Yellow Protocol (sector disturbance) being initiated.

Meanwhile, Inej almost dies.

BUT that helps her figure out she wants to have a crew of her own which takes down slavers and that's what she's gonna do with her share of the money so we're all good.

Anyways she reaches the top, everyone climbs up with the rope Inej tied somewhere at the roof, Nina arrives, realises Kaz isn't there, climbs up, Jesper is waiting just as he's about climb as well, tired of this mf's shit, Kaz shows up all bloody and tells Jesper to climb tf up what's he waiting for and Jes is like...YOU DUMBASS-

Everyone demands an explanation, Kaz tells them he went looking for Pekka Rollins, Inej and Kaz share a look (he told her Pekka killed his brother on the boat) and Jesper gets jealous.

They need to find another way in because another checkpoint got added because of Yellow Protocol and they can't go in as embassy members anymore.

Inej ofc, being the selfless badass bitch that she is, says she knows a way and tells them they enter with the Menagerie (she's so selfless smh imagine the trauma she pushed through😭😭😭😭)

New plan includes absolute mayhem, initiating Black Protocol (aka doomsday) and everyone going batshit crazy.

Jesper and Wylan go to activate doomsday (by ruining the gate of the druskelle sector) Matthias and Kaz look for a way to the jackpot (treasury) is and Nina and Inej become prostitiutes.

[lailarain]

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR DANGANRONPA 3

This is a continuation of this post.

I'm watching Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak High School Future Arc for the first time.

Episode 6:

Makoto, you fucking genius. Then again, can't Monokuma just make that a new rule if he wants to🤨

LMAO MONACA THINKING SHE WAS CAUGHT🤣🤣🤣

BYAKUYA! I missed u🥰

WAIT WHY THE FUCK IS HE BRITISH ALL OF A SUDDEN💀

Wait Geko Gahara is what now😀

KOMARU AND TOKO YES I MISSED YOUUUU

YES OUR FAVORITE ULTRA DESPAIR LESBIANS ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN😎😎😎😎

HAJIME YES MY NON-SHAPE-KNOWING BRO

Wait....Izuru🤨?

Episode 7:

Monaca, Junko killed HERSELF. Makoto didn't do shit🤨

THE TITLE IS ULTRA DESPAIR GIRLS YEAH BABY

THE WARRIORS OF HOPE ARE ALIVE AND HELPING OUT THE UDGs YES

It's so nostalgic to watch my favorite dynamic duo fight monokumas with the megaphone again🥺🥺🥺

The way she says "neutralizing demonic teddy bears" like it's normal😭

"Unless you like it rough😏"

Okay wtf is up with Toko's voice

Toko's fantasies are WAY more awkward when animated. Whatever they pay Byakuya's VA clearly isn't enough

IS THAT ACTUALLY HOW SHE SEES KOMARU LMAOOOO

BYAKUYA SENSED HER BEING WEIRD LMAOOO

Can Monaca just stfu🙄

HOLY FUCK YES THE LESBIANS ARE HOLDING HANDS I REPEAT THE LESBIANS ARE HOLDING HANDS

"Don't you see? I was HOPEING to defeat you. I R O N Y."

YES NAGITO

"Leave me alone. G O O G L E I T."

Who's gonna tell Monaca that she'll automatically suffocate the moment she breaks the atmosphere?

Istg those two are SO gay for each other

Komaru and Makoto are such wholesome siblings😭

KYOKO BETTER NOT BE THE ONE TO DIE I SWEAR I-

Episode 8:

Wait did he just say the name I think he said😀

I don't even know what to say about this episode title💀

NO MAKOTO SWEETIE IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT😭

Yo why tf does the blonde bitch look like that🤨

NO THAT MOTHER EFFER BETTER GET AWAY FROM KYOKO😤

Did that peach-haired asshole just-

HOLY FUCK POTHEAD GUY NO

POTHEAD GUY KNEW KYOKO AND HER DAD

What the fuck was in that chocolate😀

The bitch killed the love of her life? That's fucked up, man.

Kyoko, we're in a pandemic. Don't lick saliva, he could've had COVID🙄

Kyoko tricked them? Man, what a badass.

Episode 9:

Wait, so if that wasn't an actual exit, does that mean she killed her love for no reason?

The building is underwater? This game keeps on coming up with insane scenarios, I swear

Okay, blonde bitch has officially LOST HIS MARBLES.

Makoto please don't blame yourself🥺🥺🥺

DID THIS BLONDE BITCH JUST-

Wait....SO SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO KILL HIM?

AND HE STILL KISSED HER WTF

Aoi and Makoto's friendship is so cute🥰

Kyoko's gonna die, isn't she?😟

KYOKO NO SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF KNOWING SHE WAS GONNA DIE AGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

BLONDE BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP HE JUST LOST KYOKO THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOPE

(No joke I am genuinely about to cry now. She better not be dead)

Episode 10:

Awwww I remember this is when she rescued him🥺

Kyoko really is with Atua now😔😇

"She died protecting me from myself" that line HURT, man

Awww poor Makoto is crying🥺🥺

Blonde bitch looking like he be POSSESSED or some shit

Wait what's that on Kyoko's body

how DARE this blonde ass motherfucker make Makoto bleed. Breathing the same oxygen as him was rude enough🙄

Bullying a girl Makoto? Not cool, Hajime Blonde Bitch

IT HIT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE NECK LMAOOO

Did he.....is Makoto....

Ohhhh He's keeping Makoto alive because he'll be trapped. For a second, I thought this was a redemption arc lol😂

Istg this guy is SO aggressive for no reason🙄✋

THE FACT THAT MAKOTO ISN'T ATTACKING YOU AND TRYING TO TALK IT OUT WHILE YOU BEAT HIM UP IS LITERAL PROOF THAT HE IS ON THE SIDE OF HOPE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS🤦‍♀️

WAIT SO EVERYBODY IS AN ATTACKER!?!?

Okay that's it this blonde bitch and me bouta throw hands for punching Naegi👊

Okay I know this scene is sentimental and all but how the fuck is Naegi still standing😀

Okay I wasn't expecting blonde bitch to cry this is actually pretty sad

WAIT SO WHO'S THE ATTACKER?!?!?

Episode 11:

I was wondering how they reacted to the outside world so this is cool

Wait why is ponytail girl smiling evilly😀

Suicide? Idk sounds unlikely to me🤔

Makoto is such a marder it's actually insane

MAKOTO PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE

Okay who in the literal fuck is the attacker tho

What the fuck is that video and where is Makoto I'm so confused rn

ARE THOSE THE VICTIMS?!?!?

WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MAKOTO WAS HE TRIGGERED WHAT'S GOING ON

NAEGI HOLY FUCK DON'T DO IT

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIS EYES HE LOOKS LIKE NAGITO WHEN HE'S RANTING ABOUT HOPE WHAT THE FUCK

BUFF GUY IS ALIVE HOLY SHITBALLS

WAIT SO IT REALLY WAS SUICIDE?!?!?

NO BUFF DUDE DON'T GIVE IN TO DESPAIR STAY ALIVE

YES BUFF DUDE STAY ALIVE AND SAVE THEM DONT DIE

YES BLONDE BITCH GO SAFE YOUR BRO AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL

NOOOOOOOOOO BUFF BROOOOOOOO

Wait IS TENGAN ALIVE?!?!?!?

(sorry about all the capitals)

Episode 12:

FINAL EPISODE BABY LET'S GO

Wait so is the video that forced the reserve course students to commit suicide and the one that made Makoto go batshit crazy one in the same?

Heh heh spiral eyes go brrr

Shy guy why are you freaking out what did you do

"You need to know the truth. I've liked anime for as long as I can remember" wow what a shock that the ultimate animator likes animation😀

"You're the exception to the rule and you damn well know it" damn shy guy

wait shy guy what are you doing

SHY GUY NO-

WAIT HE COULDN'T USE HIS TALENT

Did he just say eliminate😀

Shy guy what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing

BLONDE BITCH YES

Okay this is such an elaborate plot twist wtf

AWWW BLONDE BITCH🥺🥺🥺🥺

ASAHINA NO

SHY GUY DON'T YOU DARE PRESS YES

Thank god there's a timer😅

TOKO KOMARU NOOOOOO

WAIT MONACA TOO? SHE'S ALIVE!?!?!?!?

This isn't looking too good for Makoto and Blonde Bitch

WAIT JUNKO IS ALIVE?!?!?!?!?!

JUNKO CALLED OLD GUY OLD AND CRUSTY LMAOOO

Why do I like Junko so much

"Get over it, slut. We're dead😋"

WAIT THAT'S IT!??!?! IT'S OVER?!?!? WHAT HAPPENED?

Am I supposed to watch Despair Arc Now?

Okay I think it's over.

Next, it's time for the only reason I decided to watch the anime: to watch the despair arc for more NAGITO.

[sevdrag]

dreamwidth update: isolation

(content warnings: i just talk about the shit that's going on rn cause i gotta, but if any of it is triggering for you, be careful or scroll past)

so, as it turns out - as anyone could have predicted - i'm behind AF on nano.

look, a lot of it is that the first week of november got tied up in the hellhole that was america's election. fuck. i had done a lot of research and i knew what to expect and i STILL DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. that entire week was draining as fuck and even the relief of them finally calling it for biden was destructive and devastating in its own way. (i cried. i dont ever cry. i fucking bawled.)

and some of it is another lesson in preparation. i have a great outline for this novel! i know all the plot beats for all three plotlines! but i didn't practice getting into either character's voice, so while im still writing, it's very third-person-onmicient type, very distant, rather than the third-person-intimate that im going for.

and ive become STUPIDLY hung up on that! LIKE, ITS STOPPING ME FROM WRITING. i realize i just need to forge ahead and i'll find their voices eventually, but like, brain matter no go. head empty no thots.

SURPRISINGLY, though, if i count all words i've written (including nano, patreon, work words, fanfic, etc) i am on pace to hit the 50K. guess what I might be doing, rather than focusing entirely on the nano words. fml. etc.

my two oldest nieces are coming this weekend for their birthday celebration. when they were young i decided that instead of birthday gifts, what each girl got was a weekend alone, just with me, where we would do super fun things and they get to have all of the focused attention from their aunt and uncle. it's worked great, but this year, because of the rona, their schedules are all fucked up (you would not BELIEVE what my bro and SIL have had to work out to manage both of their jobs with 3 children under the age of 7 at home; it's crazy), and we wanted to limit the travel as well. so both girls are coming together to stay with me, to celebrate together. i'm very excited, but wow, that's also been a whirlwind.

i had to clean the entire house. the thing is, when you've been in house since march, and you're already disabled, and you're depressed, and you're tired, and you have 5 cats, the house can quickly get to a pint where you really give no more fucks about it. hugely. bigly. i had to summon my mum, Crown, and murder husband to help me out with it, but now the house is gorgeously clean and i am happy. doing all the work at once was kind of a sledgehammer to the face tho, RIP me, but i did it.

fought with Crown over a bunch of stuff too. it's resolved and we are in a better place after having it out, but that also hit me like a fucking pickup truck, thanks.

also didnt help nano.

isolation is weird. i dont mind being alone - i love being stuck in my house alone, that's like, my dream world - but i feel like i've hunkered down here in other ways as well. friends i used to talk to daily, i check in like once a week. a BIG part of that is, well, having nothing to really say. my new contract remains in covid limbo, my other work continues, and my desire to write a novel to sell is just aksjdlkasdjggs, so like, ??? why bother to talk, there's no news here, etc.

im also just not very good at staying in touch because of (reasons) and the situation is compounding that and really doubling down on it. how can i reach out to people when im spending most of my mental energy not going completely batshit??? "hey demons. it's me. your boy."

i mean i also feel like other friends are pulling back as well, probably because none of us really have anything new to say. it's just an interesting side effect of isolation, i guess?

plus it's the jazz hands depressssiioooonnnnn ~! for all of us!

i really just exist on discord these days. honestly.

ANYWAY.

i haven't yet given up on the novel, nor have i given up on trying to grow my kofi and patreon to help me out in these terrible times. (crankyoldman, thanks so much for the Kofi! that covers this month's entire Chewy order! <3 <3 aaaaaaa ILU and i miss you guys!!) it's just such a bizarre fucking time to be a conscious thinking creature and that's weird, i guess.

went to target and bought a bunch of men's shirts for the winter. sorry but for what i want men's clothes are vastly superior. you can't get a women's t-shirt that's long enough to go over hips or really be tucked in unless you find a "tunic length" and they're like $25. i got 3 mens tees for $18. i also now have a giant hoodie with thumbholes. bless.

plus big ass sports bras. i just want my tits to be comfortable. dont always bra them, but like when im cleaning they gotta be held. gently. softly cupped in place so that they don't get tossed around too much. i dont know where im going with this.

i just want to be comfortable here in my private cave.

the stasis of isolation. such an odd year it's been this last month.

Ko-fi for the cats || Patreon for CYOA and the novel || Sev's Pub, my creative works discord || carrd for the rest

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[loki-the-trikster-god]

hihi friend it’s clyde!

i’m so sorry lol i took even longer to respond that u did (which was fine take ur time amigo) i literally read ur message then forgot it was my turn to respond

proves how well my brain is functioning (it’s not functioning at all)

...ok that’s a strange way to have pasta. does it still taste good? *hands u a carrot*

muffins are a valid and respected part of the community. they are loved by all.

ahahaha yeahhhhh

i still can’t spell definitely (and i won a spelling bee when i was 8 soooooo)

yeesh that’s messed up bro. it’s still technically right, i can say that, even though i don’t know what radicals are

ahhhh yeah for example i can tune out french class.

oh shit i’m in health class rn and we are learning about “human development and sexual health”

yay so more heteronormative stuff! non trans or all gender inclusive! and it’s super cringy too! so i can spend all class yelling to my friend about how society sucks.

seriously tho that system is fucked up

ahahaha yes. swords are good

i wish i could seduce ppl that would be like so cool

yes you can touch. *floods ur hair too*

floof floof floof floofffffffff

floof good

asdf ikr i have a science project and i’ve literally been procrastinating it all week (i still haven’t started it) and it’s gonna take 10 years to do

ooh cool. i like medieval culture and being in those sort of settings. there was a thing i went to a few years ago called medieval times and it was so amazing! it was like being in the medieval era! i really liked it it’s amazing

i just... struggle with those kinds of books, tho i’m sure if i did read them i would like it

oh fucking shit were doing a lesson on literally gender identity and sexual orientation the very thing i’m having a crisis over wow okay this might kill me.

i’m sorry for the health class commentary i’m just dying internally rn ughhhhhhhh

ahaha yeah i think u’d love the book tbh it is literally the funniest thing ever

yes u are right everyone’s taste is valid and it doesn’t define them it’s just what they like

ahahaha yes u kick their ass darling just don’t dent ur sword that’s bad. yeah don’t stab them it will be messy and it’ll interfere with the play

ooh u play the cello that’s really cool. i wish i played an instrument but sadly i can just tap on the drums which isn’t really a talent lol

ahahaha yes lol. yees the homies need to chill

okay this is gonna sound weird but i like it to be around 18-20 degrees celsius bc i can go out in sweatpants and a hoodie and that’s my ideal clothing but any colder is freezing and hotter is too warm (i don’t like shorts) sooooo hehe. hbu?

and i love ur icon it is beautiful :) new aesthetic very you 👌

oki i hafta go back to suffering through class now

until next time amigo! :)

*kicks the door open* Howdy bitch I’m finally answering lol :)))

I got home from orchestra and was like. Sick tired where you’re so tired you feel like you have a fever and then I was like wow I haven’t slept more than six hours in like a week that’s bad and then I passed out for 12. Probably gonna do another super long night tomorrow just to keep myself alive. Anyhow.

*crunches carrot* it’s perfectly fine,,,,., not the best but fine,,,,, the reason for freezing it is that it’s precooked so you thaw it and then cook for less time.

Muffins are so so valid.

Radicals are square roots. Algebra is the second worst class in the history of the universe. (The first being a specific history class taught by this one super old batshit teacher. I like history but he sucked.)

Ah yes, the joys of “””””health”””” class. It’s not fun, man. They did that with us this year and that’s the year I came out at school and let me tell you they did not know what to do they were so confused they were like this is random but do u know that tik tok sound that’s the song am I a man or am I a muppet (you probably don’t know what I’m saying and I sound crazy but oh well) but anyways they were like what the fuck gender is this help cause they’re dumb.

Someday, child, you shall learn the art of sEdUcTiOn. Or not, who knows. Whatever you end up liking. Swords do always help tho, pro tip 😉

FLOOF FLOOF FLOOF FLOOF floof is is a fun activity :))))))))

Oooof I skipped the entirety of chem yesterday and now idk what’s happening guess I’ll figure that out as I go lol. I believe in myself.

Rigjt now I’m in math and I’m too tired to think so that’s fun.

Omg one of the only non-repressed memories I have of being a child is in sixth grade I went to a medieval times. It Slapped. Our knight won and I got to hold a falcon and I was losing my mind. It was cause we won an orchestra competition that we got to go. Also that’s valid, once again it’s an acquired taste of mine lol.

Oh I *hate* that. I’d almost rather have it not be acknowledged like it was for me than have some cishet teach me what it’s like to have a gender/sexuality crisis.

I won’t actually stab him I’ll just stab him a little. I’ll stab him lightly. Delicately. And he’ll cry like a little boy. This is my cruel fantasy, at least. I’m kinda mean but then again so is he 😔

Drum tapping is a skill lol. Yeah I’ve been doing cello for a while I do it in school and outside of school which is a Lot of cello but oh well it’s fun.

*quickly checks my F to C converter* oh that’s such a valid temperature I like it too cause then I can wear my black jeans and my sweaters and I don’t have to wear a binder to not be dysphoric which is sexy of me (/j) so yeah I agree

I also like wind in the spring a Lot and I’ll always have my window open.

Awww thanks I’m v happy with my little icon it’s my man paul gross in hamlet at ,,,, Stratford. Part of my obsession lol.

Math class is starting to teach so I should listen so until next time bro :)))