#i am aware i do yap
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I don't really block people and it takes a lot to get me to finally unfollow someone, in part because it's just easier to keep following and in part because I don't want to just create an echo chamber and not think critically about my beliefs. However. Some people really are testing me. Some people seem to have been put on this earth with the sole purpose of making my blood pressure rise. I cannot tell how many of these guys are posting in bad faith or if they truly do think like that.
#'bi lesbians make me uncomfortable' in the bio + extremely moralising posts + reducing everything to a marxist economic standpoint = 🤢🤮#rambles#someone else defending ai saying 'u sound like boomers'#exploding you with my mind#i am aware i do yap#a lot#esp in tags#sorry if i am that annoying person for you but you can always unfollow lol
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N tries to tell another joke (gone wrong)
Sequel to This
#if you see any mistakes uhh no you don't#yknow i am a huge multishipper and i love almost every ship in this fandom#but id be lying if i said i didnt find envy to be like one of the most romantic relationships in MD#like??#"Loving you is so fundemental to who I am that even when my brain is digitally lobotomized and I can't even remember why#like hello Liam Vickers yeah its me again why the FUCK would you DO THAT#I think even if envuzi wasn't actually canon. I entirely believe that you can't actually seperate them anyway#like it kills me that the entirety of Murder Drones. N and V are in love with eachother. like mutually#and they still are. and thats just how things are.#I'd go further but this is literally a shitpost and I don't wanna make the tags a mile again#I'm just a yapper ok. I yap abt the robots#anyway uhhhh this comic isnt even super envuzi but since its a sequel to the last one ill tag it. why not#murder drones#serial designation n#serial designation v#uzi doorman#murder drones lizzy#md lizzy#nuvi#violentbitingbiscuits#envuzi#vuzin#nvuzi#thank you to the person that made we aware of all the different varients of these threes ship name sdlkfjsdf#kinda in love w/ nvuzi cuz it doesnt look good as a word but it funnier to me cuz of that dslkfjsdf
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currently on the things to think about today: if you romance leliana as the warden and you play as either a woman amell or surana, cullen will ask after the warden to leliana when around the war table. a full ten years after dragon age origins, when his last interaction with the warden was wanting to kill all of the mages in the fereldan circle tower. you know, the tower that the warden was once a part of and grew up in.
which works fine if you think the relationship between the warden and cullen was cute! but. uh. feels extremely uncomfortable when you thought the relationship had the potential to be extremely dangerous toward the warden and wasn't cute at all.
#dai#dragon age inquisition#dragon age#dragon age origins#dao#hero of ferelden#warden amell#warden surana#leliana#da leliana#cullen rutherford#cullen critical#everyone can feel how they want about cullen do not let me stop you in thinking this is cute and funny#but For Me. its kind of terrifying that cullen is still holding onto these feelings.#my warden had zero interest in cullen! which makes this.. awful#and i am fully aware cullen was supposed to be read as being charming and awkward while asking after her. I Know. but again my warden#didnt feel anything positive towards him at all which makes it uncomfortable#idk im yapping#thinking about fanfic stuff
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I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say
1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…
But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.
2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore
3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)
#if any part of this doesnt make sense or isnt rightpleass correct me#This is what i mean by tsukasa makes me lose my mind#I really cannot think straight when it comes to this show freak#3. Is more of a complicated thing. I dont Actually hate relating to him im joking but uhh#idk how to explain this i mean theres still a Lot that makes us very VERY different uhh#i think sometimes its just a little bit of annoyance like Why him. Why is it always the egotistical blonde ones#also i wouldnt say relating to him as much as i do right now is that bad (although i am much more self aware than him so. Yeah sometimes#I get annoyed with myself as well) i think its just the way ive been treated like i AM him before because of how much i do#Like guys. Come on now i get seeing people as their pfps or fav characters but thats a bit much#And theres plenty of other characters i relate to#Anyways ignoring rant in tags#I need to sleep. Right now. I cant believe i stayed up just to talk about little freak Tsukasa Tenma#ramble#rant#might delete later#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#wxs tsukasa#pjsk#prsk#project sekai#idk what im yapping about#yapping#tsukasa pjsk#tsukasa#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#shouldve kept this in drafts AAHH!!!!!
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i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim
#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it#its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me#but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy#hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked#its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags#and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple#its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!!#and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!!#but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is#fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates#but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right'#fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on#yapping
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ever so slightly embarrassing pro tip:
eating is literally so much easier when you make imaginary friends who worry about you and encourage you to take care of yourself
#sprouts yapping#i mean whatever works works#mental health#spoonie#coping skills#self care tips#i am cringe but i am free#free from malnutrition *finger guns*#again slightly embarrassed to admit to doing this but like#there are literally only benefits here#and i am aware#and more importantly if this helps anyone figure out how to make self care easier#then it’s awesome and rad and not weird at all#i will not be embarrassed of myself if it means others will not be embarrassed of themselves for the same things#call that character development#also. for those who read tags this far:#it’s horror sans for me#not just him but as far as eating goes he’s the main guy#completely out of character considering canon horror is pretty violent#but that Does Not Matter bc my personal characterization is what helps So There
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started yet Another mh au fic. its a mall au this time though
#realized during the drive home from work tonight that there is no marble hornets mall aus out there#or at least none i am aware of#and of course i need to be the one to do it#si yaps
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ok I’m complaining abt some heavy shit in the tags cw and tw ahead and stuff but I am actually abt to crash out in class rn
#bla bla bla bla Idk how much of these tags is gonna cover the preview on mobile#so I’m gonna give a billion things of context#there are particular scenes relating to assault of a very sensitive nature in this film and it happens about 2-3 times#I am gonna preface this by saying I do not need anyone to try and educate me abt these particular scenes in entertainment#I am fully aware of how unnecessary they are/can be in contexts and there are other ways of portraying or implying that something happened#all of this being said. a classmate brought their roommate to class and they spent the entire scene overreacting with hands in the air#and going ‘what? what? what? why?’ over and over#and my professor gave a WARNING and PAUSED a good few minutes before hand and said anyone is able to walk out and he’ll call them back in#he chose to stay and make a scene regardless#and then during the ad break he starts loudly going off about how unnecessary the scenes were and how#’we don’t do this on our campus our classes are about JOY and WHIMSY’#like this irritates me already bc ok well anthropology is not about JOY and FUCKING WHIMSY#please grow up. second of all why are we discussing rape after the scene#I saw the scenes I do not need to hear you rally six other loud motherfuckers about rape in this small ass classroom#’THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY SOMEONE INVESTIGATE THE DIRECTOR WHY DID THEY DEPICT THIS���#EVERYONE KNOWSSSSS YOU ARE PREACHING TO THE CHOIRRRR EVERYONE HERE IS AN ANTHRO MAJOR WE AGREEEE#and then trying to frame the professor like an ass for showing films with rape in it??#THE WHOLE CLASS IS ABT CRITIQUING ARCHAEOLOGICAL MOVIES. WE KNOW. THATS WHY THESE FILMS ARE CHOSEN#YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT OH MY GODDDDD#gisa yaps
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i kind of miss my younger hikkikomori pointless life blissfully unaware of my behavior self. can i go back to that with my current interests please please please can i be parasocial and degen without bullying myself please please
#lulah yaps#can i go back to my zombiebeatz2000-esk era as a kid with my crrent interests pretty please#i need to be clueless to what i am doing#being self aware is ruining me#i would do anything for it actually
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i want a princess zelda thats a little silly. a little unhinged. plagued by visions. aware of the cycle and her role in this all (probably the most emotionally damaging realization you could have). a little erratic. but also very tender and she loves her friends very much. she doesnt like the cycle and she wants to go against it but she doesnt quite know how and neither does Link so these two kids are just completely stumped while they slowly crumble under the pressure and only have each other. how would this work???? i dont know. i am figuring that out :33333 because realizing you are literally ONLY alive to propagate and "fix" evil or whatever must be one of the most horrifying things you can realize as a person. i need a trio who dont represent their parts of the triforce very well and resent it because they wish they couldve at least been born blissfully ignorant
#and a really nuanced ganondorf pls i am NOT leaving him out of the existential horrors#i feel like no one ever talks abt the fact that hyrule is literally stuck in an endless cycle of destruction where#link zelda and ganon are just physical manifestations of the triforce and literally nothing more#and they have to do shit just because no questions asked with no room for judgement or their own emotions#because thats horrifying actually#i think i just want another game like majoras mask#tbh#are we just not gonna touch on the like. irrevocable childhood trauma??? (botw kind of did ig??)#i gen feel bad for them and im tweaking off the zelda brainrot really hard#i thinjk the darkest zelda game concept is one where they are all fully aware of the cycle and the part they play and the fact that#no matter what anyone does#this will repeat over and over#and theres nothing you can do to stop it#sorry for yapping idk if i make sense its midnight and im sleepy#more sims content soon i promis
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my mobile save has surpassed my pc save's progress. emily gifted me a sewing machine and i've been obsessed with it like i rarely leave the farm sometimes because i'm trying to figure out how to tailor outfits
#im aware this may just be a *me* issue but#why do all the colour choices clash w my in-game skin tone like i can ignore it but sometimes it#just feels like it “tastes” wrong if that makes any sense????#does anyone else feel this way about colours or is it just me#what am i even yapping about#stardew valley
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🍓
#umm he couldnt even be bothered to react to my messages with emojis?!?!?#like he said that he isnt up for talking and i respect that#i asked him if it's still ok for me to message him and he said 'ofc'#so i did.... i had to push myself bc im feeling like he hates me and doesnt wanna hear from me#all of my disorders saying that haha#so i pushed myself to message him when i wanted to#but.... ok i didnt expect him to reply#but he read it and didnt even give me an emoji#im aware that i sound crazy#this is just how im FEELING#i feel stupid and ashamed for thinking he even wants to listen to me yap about nonsense#i hate myself for being so stupid and sending him pics and a video of the crow i saw#like shut up dumb bitch nobody cares!!!!!!!! shut up#no wonder he cant be in love with me#im pathetic and stupid#his ex that he actually loves is probably smart and witty and cool#and would never be such a fkn loser like i an#am*#god... genuinely hate myself#why dont i know how to shut up??#definitely wont be messaging him anymore now jesus christ im so embarrassing#im still hurt tho like couldnt he at least have reacted with an emoji#is that too much to ask for......#i mean listen in any relationship#where u have disorders.. communication and BOTH ppl making an effort is needed#the only way our 'friendship' is even working is bc im just allowing him to do whatever#and im just dealing with the emotional suffering lol#he doesnt even make an effort to reassure me or anything#so yes i cant force him or ask anything of him. but i FEEL hurt by how im not worthy of anything to him#while im over here allowing him to hurt me constantly sksksk
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is it autism or is it a symptom of previous longterm social isolation and lack of agency ?
#i think. im not good at being a person.#ive finally gotten some alone time and i am reflecting. and well.#i dont think you can make me socially aware ^-^ i dont think i'll ever get good at it.#i donknow why ^-^👍 and i dont think it matters 👍#i think hes getting tired of me alreadyyyy......#and i think. lots of other ppl . dont see me wout him already also.#ive managed this already... impressive ^-^#but the japanese international girls like me so !!! it doesnt matter !!! i have. two nice friends. and 1 intimidating friend.#i will not get bullied or made fun of or be in ungetoutable bad situations bc of. mafia friend.#and then i will recharge and be silly around. nice friends.#i think the fact that im actively thinking about this. doesnt do anything for my case.#i think. im getting masking lessons. when i hang out w him. if it really is the autism. and im failing a little bit.#he thinks ive got anxiety. 💭💭 psych major ass. sorry. my roommates also psych major. why are they. talkers.#theyre scawy.#they both got adhd too. whats with that#anyway.#i want to get a haircut.#and hes like. well. hes literally 4 real a model. and his mom was a model. and all his friends were. guess what. models.#so. scary. so i will go to a shitty salon w a nice normal level of social skill friend and then not say anything i think.#i love yapping on here this is awesome. i can just say anytging.#non u know me in real life#how did i end up making friends w the most 'popular guy' guy in the world this is so stressful.#everyone likes him. there are ppl who only talk to me to get an idea of where he might be at. what happened.#howd i go from friendless loser to. loser but in a completely different friend environment. friends w guy who is too good at making friends#but chooses to hang out w me ? does he choose to do that. is it all coincidence?#how did i get here. it really doesnt feel real#i want. to . explode.#yknow i never even really talked to boys before this also. wtf. wtf..#i have only been saying nice things so far i think but i think its important to know that he. scares me. hes so from bc.#i have always been scared of island ppl theyre. all so mad always. and guess what he is too. and yet here i am.
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tumblr does not want to let me make the post with a 9 second video so it’s incorrect quotes style now ig :/
Astrid : Ew your breath smell like- Jane Doe : Graham crackers? Astrid : No, it smells like ten cans of bounce dat a$$ Jane Doe : Bounce dat a$$ :(?
#please tell me y’all know the og video that this post was supposed 2 have#ride the cyclone#astrid rosenberg#jane doe rtc#daisy yip yaps#I am aware tumblr does not care about bad words. but I do.
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hate getting jealous @ ppl I genuinely like and enjoy the company of for silly ass reasons
#➳ the fool speaks#oh if uu really like them it can't happen that much YES IT DOES#no no literally my brain will percieve somebun as being a little too close to somebun *I* want to be close with or they'll be a little too#talented or good at something or generally more liked than i am and i will have to like .#i can really only describe it as trying to calm down a very aggressive dog who literally just saw another dog while it's being taken out fo#a walk . like no no they're just doing their thing stop yapping like that Calm Down oh my goodness#except it isn't a dog it is my brain . and the dog minding it's business is Literally Anybun doing something *I* want to do or be capable o#even if they're somebun i wanna be friends w or am already friends with or who's like . somebun I'm AWARE is good/nice/etc
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You know I'm starting to think I'm never going to be 100% completely satsified for my pas de chat inspirations at this point. Like, I can barely find a replacement for Grizz and Old Deut, and I'm still tryna find Tanto & Corico 😭
I'm also tempted to put chorus cats into more casual ballet fits but I feel like it would kind of ruin the effect so most likely not going for that idea.
#pas de chat au#goat rambles#begging if someone has a good (specific) ballet inspiration for Tanto and Corico please let me know#I am aware that not tagging this in the main cats tag will limit who sees this#but im gonna be so fr I do not want to plague cats tumblr with my yapping and whining
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