#not just him but as far as eating goes he’s the main guy
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sprout-senior · 10 months ago
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ever so slightly embarrassing pro tip:
eating is literally so much easier when you make imaginary friends who worry about you and encourage you to take care of yourself
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turtleblogatlast · 7 months ago
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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simpjaes · 11 months ago
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ONE OF THE DAMNED GIRLS PT. 2 (P.SH)
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Moving to a city with wild nights and charming days felt like the perfect choice in your head upon finishing college. Hours away from home, you accept a job at a local museum ironically placed dead between a large historic cathedral and a booming gothic nightclub. You were meant to curate the art, not be curated yourself by a local priest who found you with buckled knees outside of said goth club. ― part one | MINORS DNI
PAIRING ― vampire park sunghoon x afab reader  
WORDCOUNT ― 21.8k
CONTENT ―  modern vampire sunghoon, cathedral/chapel settings, blasphemous behavior, false holy facades, the main vampire trope i use is the act of drinking blood, luring, and living forever, heavy manipulation and toxic behaviors, mentions of reader being alt/goth
SIDE CHARACTERS―  jungwon as your very very best friend who has an installation at the museum (you guys are attached at the hip), jay as the hot bisexual bartender at the goth club, some goth guy named balor 
!WARNINGS! ― dubious consent (due to the act of mind manipulation), hunting and playing victim, a lot of blood: blood sucking, wounds/puncturing, menstruation in a sexual light, manipulation, near-death experiences, fainting, talk of death, acts of mind control/luring 
NOTE ― you must read part one to understand the story. anyway i did not mean to go in so deep with jungwon, i just really fucking adore him please forgive me. anyway, this is briefly edited. if you see a typo, shhhhhh, i don't wanna know.
tags under cut
smut tags [ these tags refer to both parts of the fic] ― big meat sunghoon, biting, A LOT OF BLOOD, sucking and drinking of blood obv, pussy eating (once while reader is menstruating, and another time where she isn’t), deep penetration, rough sex, unprotected sex bc like…he’s dead so lmfao, missionary, scratching, dirty talk, body worship, praise, jungwon is involved in a bit of an erotic situation but there is not smut involving him, 
other tags [ these tags refer to both parts of the fic]― depictions of death, anti-religious language, the act of dying including intense descriptions of the feeling, mentions of pimping and human trafficking, corrupt government, dead nuns, funerals
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“My love, let me.” 
You sit up only to be eased back onto the soft mattress. Pillows plush against your head as Sunghoon dabs away at each puncture he’s left on you. 
“You know you can’t sit up so quickly, just rest and let me.” 
You’re littered with his bites by now and you only grow more and more enamored with the feeling of it. Or, perhaps you just enjoy the fact that he’s fixated on drinking from you. Multiple times a day, until your fingers and toes are numb, until you can barely stand without dropping to the floor. 
Enamored through all of it, really. With the way he bites so gently only to suck harder and harder until his fingers grip and pierce through your skin much like his teeth do. He’ll hold you so hard through it, forcing arousal to run through you every single time he goes for that artery in your thigh. You think that’s his favorite spot to bite, if the dozens of wounds there are anything to go by. Truly, you’re enamored with him, always wanting to give him more just so he stays with you longer. 
You seem to have lost yourself in the lust of it all. The fantasy, the desire. On the brink of insanity, you know you’ve grown obsessed with what Sunghoon does to you, and it’s to the point that you don’t question yourself like you normally would. Your desire for this is too strong, far too intimidating to doubt. 
But since that night, he always leaves you with blood against his lips. Aroused, frustrated, confused. Never once letting a hand stray too far, never letting his lips trace anywhere but to your wounds or new expanse of skin that needs to be bitten. 
For days now you’ve been here. You lay here one full day since you were supposed to be back at work too, just waiting for the moment Sunghoon will do more than just drink from you. Mostly for a confirmation. It feels like you’re forcing yourself to go missing for this alone and every night you lie awake in this room waiting, wanting more from him now than you think you ever have.
The room you're in now is lonely, though adorned nearly as beautiful as the one you were in the night Sunghoon stole you away. You know the place you want to be is just down the hall, but your legs won’t carry you there no matter how much you try. He’s rendered you bed ridden and you miss it there, with his silk sheets and candle lit walls. 
Then again, maybe it’s not the room at all that you miss. Maybe it’s just Sunghoon.
You can’t help but note that when he’s on you or next to you, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. But when you’re alone, you feel your skin crawl with such immense anxiety that you nearly want to scream out for him to come back. Several times already you have called out for him mere moments after he’s left the room. It gives you hope in knowing that each time, he does return to you even if just for a moment. 
All of it is very arousing when he comes to you, but it’s killing you inside to know that he does nothing more than feed off of you. You get nothing out of it but his presence, and perhaps he expects that to be enough. It’s driving you insane to give everything you have to him so willingly, knowing he hasn’t offered anything back to you. 
The fact that you want this, you want him, and you want to be the only blood he craves? It’s a feeling you’ve had to accept, because trying to deny it at this point would only lead you down a more destructive path. As if the one you’re on now isn’t already killing you, if not physically, emotionally. You want to be the person lying in his bed again so badly. You want to show him that you’re no longer terrified. You want to give him equal arousal and interest. 
But he doesn’t offer it. No, he simply bites. 
“I can do it.” You say to him in a frustrated sigh. “I’m not helpless, you know.” 
He’s taken aback by the way you rip the gauze from his hands, sitting up and scooting away from him when you dip it into the bowl of alcohol. Your head spins at the act, but you push through the weakness anyway, knowing he doesn’t like the distance you’re creating between him and you. 
You don’t like the distance either, but it’s helpful to know he doesn’t ignore it. 
“I’m aware.” Sunghoon narrows his eyes at the way your heart is beating for him right now, taking the gauze back from you and gripping your arm to pull you back and against him. “Why are you being difficult?” 
He cleans a wound just under your jaw as he looks at you, waiting for you to answer him. You stare back as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, not wincing at all like you previously had when he lets the alcohol burn the swollen punctures.
“Hah, so you can’t read minds?” You confirm for yourself, though you had the suspicion that he couldn’t. “You just keep doing this–” You continue, trying not to sound as if you’re nagging. “And nothing else.”
He tilts his head as he moves the gauze to another part of your neck, knowing full well what it is you want. 
“Nothing else?” He repeats in a sly question. “Is there more you want?”
You nod slightly, feeling the cold alcohol send a shiver across your skin, your head finally clearing of the dizziness just from sitting up.
“Name it.” 
Somehow, you lose the ability to ask for what you want. It feels silly to be mad that he hasn’t given you any sexual pleasure despite feeding off of you for days now. Is it insane that sex is all you want in return? Should you ask for financial compensation or something? 
“Ah.” He answers for you with an all-knowing smirk, his nostrils flaring as he inhales your scent. “You want pleasure, yes?”
“Do you not?” You ask simply, and he pulls back with the gauze to look at you dumbfounded. 
For a solid twenty seconds the two of you stare at each other before he’s dropping the gauze into the bowl and pulling you against him in full, turning your body so that your back is to his chest. His strong arms are still cold, but you feel warm enough against him like this.
“It pleases me to know you want it.” He smiles against the top of your head. “Unfortunately, I have other things to tend to.” He continues, pausing to hold you a bit closer. “I still have to feed, love, and I still need to maintain order here. I cannot just spread your legs every waking minute.” 
You’re not asking for him to fuck you every waking minute. It makes you feel as if he’s annoyed to even use such words regarding this. Still, your cheeks warm at his sweet voice. 
“As much as I’d like to.” 
Oh. Your cheeks aren’t just warm, they’re on fire at those words. You’d grasp at anything right now, despite feeling like an afterthought. You don’t like that you’re not a priority to him, even though he fucking feeds on you consistently. To the point you can’t even stand for a full minute without fucking fainting from blood loss. Still, you accept his words and try to think of the positives over the negatives. 
Unfortunately, you’ll never be satisfied with just his words and a mere ten seconds later you’re right back to questioning, doubting, and feeling upset. 
So he can feed this often, but not even slip a finger into you through it? 
Priorities. He has to feed, he said? Does he not already?! 
“Wait, Sunghoon, you do feed.” You argue. “On me.” 
He shakes his head at your ignorance of believing he’ll ever truly have enough of you. Even past death, he’ll never have enough. Which is precisely why you’re still breathing. 
“There are needs I have that you’ve yet to understand. You satiate the hunger, yes, but that is nothing more than a feeling, not a truth.” 
You try to comprehend his words but fall short. Only because that would mean–
“You’re becoming afraid again,” He comments on your heart rate. “Calm yourself, darling, the need within me is no fault of my own and I’ll continue to keep you from seeing the act take place.”
There’s silence from you as you try to calm yourself down. Of course he has to feed, but…is that not what he’s already been doing to you? Your heart isn’t racing from fear, it’s racing from–jealousy.
“So, mine isn’t enough?” You feel your heart shatter a bit when you voice it, knowing full well that for him to be full, he likely has to kill.
Why are you jealous? Well, if you’re so irresistible like he says you are, why does he hold back? Why are you still alive? Does your blood not taste as good as whoever else he’s been having at? Why does he keep you around, but no one else? Maybe they’re the ones who are irresistible, and you’re just a placeholder for if he can’t find his meal for the night. Maybe he’s just using you. 
“Hmm.” Sunghoon thinks hard at your question. “You’re feeling envious?” 
You don’t respond to him or the way he clocks your jealousy, and instead shake his grip off of you before grabbing the gauze yourself again.
He watches you take the material and dip it into the liquid, moving it down your legs and to the assault of wounds against your thigh. 
“You’re truly strange.” He licks his lips at the sight of your thighs, listening closely to the artery you have there, always so hungry for more but knowing he need not drink for the time being. After all, he’s just eaten. “Almost as unnatural as I am.” 
You have to force back a smile at the truth of his words though, softening at the way he compares you to him like the two of you fit together perfectly. The jealousy rages within you, but so does this strange adoration you have for him. 
“To think I don’t crave you? Have I not shown you already?” 
“Hmm, you might need to remind me.” You’re being playful now, trying to get what you want. Entirely thankful for the way he solves every problem you have with him in your head even if just for a moment.
You think you’ll always miss him on a deeper level than just sitting and speaking though.
“When can I leave the room?” You ask now, suddenly. “When can I come back to your room?” 
Sunghoon doesn’t fight his own smile, loving the way you stay of your own free will, even while upset with him for not giving you more than that single night of love making. 
“Not yet, love.” He mutters now, knowing that it’s not likely for you to be able to make it down the hallway without calling for his help, also knowing that he can’t give you what you want again so soon. 
“Oh.” You look at him, face falling. “Let me guess, because you have better shit to do.” 
“Still so envious.” He shakes his head with a laugh. “You’ll learn soon enough how I need you.” 
Just, not yet. 
After all, he drinks you until he has no choice but to stop. Multiple times a day, draining you until it’s near dangerous. The fact that you enjoy it drives him to do it more and more. 
You think it’s easy for him to utilize self-control around you? You think he doesn’t want to experience you in every way you can offer? With those pretty sounds you make? God, he misses the way your body hugged his cock so much. You’re out of your mind to think he’s holding out on you because he doesn’t want it. Because you're not good enough? Stupid, stupid girl. 
He needs it. He wants it. He’s fucking obsessed with what you do to him.
You’re truly not the only one trying to adjust to this situation. He has to be very careful with you, and having sex with you could very well break the resolve he’s forced into himself. A simple touch from you that feels too good could have him acting on a split second decision, drinking until you’re dead and cold, just like him. 
Essentially, he has to train himself to your scent and taste. Sure, he’s been fucking nearly every victim since his cock started working again, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’d rather it be you. In fact, the only reason he’s fucking them is to satiate the need to destroy everything that you are for his own desire of having you. 
The issue is that his drive to kill is insanely high, smelling you just down the hall makes every new victim taste better. It makes his cock fuck harder, it makes their bodies feel almost good enough for him to release. But they’re not you, and it’s rendering him unable to control himself. 
His recent victims? Oh, it ends so gruesomely. He feels overheated in the moment, drenched, fucking feral when he makes his kill. Wishing it was you, ignoring the scent of the person beneath him just to smell you from a different room. 
If he gets his hands on you when he’s in that state of mind again, you’ll be gone forever. That’s something Sunghoon wouldn’t be able to live with. Already he’s controlled himself through it once and that may very well have been the hardest thing he’s done in his life. He can’t promise that he can hold back again.
Until he can feed and fuck without feeling his instinct grab him by the throat, he cannot do more than small feedings with you. That alone is training all on its own, because every single time he feeds, he struggles not to take all of it. 
Bit by bit. Sunghoon has to take you piece by fucking piece. And your willingness to do it, entirely awake and aware, makes it all the more difficult. 
He can’t tell you this. Not yet, at least. You’d know the danger you’re in. Nor can he pretend like he will let you leave out of fear. He needs to keep this peace with you until he can truly enjoy you in a way that will ensure you’ll be alive and well after the fact.
And so, he changes the subject, grabbing you even tighter and hugging you in the way any modern boyfriend would. This. This is something he can handle.
“Are you bored of me carrying you across the room?” He asks. “Do you miss walking on your own two feet that much, if just to make it to my room?” He smiles now, making jokes with you that feel a bit dry when it hits your ears. 
“Are you implying that I’m a slut?” You laugh at his attempt to make you smile, slapping against his cold arm playfully. “That the only reason I want to leave this room is to come into yours and fuck you?” 
He shrugs from behind you, hugging tighter, wanting to be under your skin with that beating heart.
“Am I not right to assume? You little harlot.” 
Well, he got you there. 
And you laugh with him about it, living in your little fantasy world like this never has to end. Reality looms taller than Sunghoon does, unfortunately. 
He can feel your heart rate pick up when your laugh slows down. 
“But, Sunghoon, I can’t stay here for much longer like this.” You drop it on him like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and oh how he wishes you could just disappear with him. “I haven’t been home, my phone is there and I’m sure people have been calling.”
His eyes darken at your words as he pushes you from his grasp. Already you wish to leave? After complaining to him about what he doesn’t give you? Is that why you’re saying this right now? No sex means you’ll leave? 
Serves him right for not using the pull on you. He should have kept hold of your mind rather than relish in your willingness. 
“I’ve missed work already.” Your voice gets smaller as you watch him move from the bed and stand in front of you, the scent of cinnamon assaulting your nose along with his darkened and intimidating facial expression. “I– I’ll–come back. I promise.” You cower immediately.
Sunghoon shakes his head at you. 
“Did I not make myself clear?” He deepens his voice, unsure of how to handle his own internal panic. “Never have I let a commoner leave this cathedral alive and knowing the truth.” 
“Are you–threatening me?” You ask, scooting away from him and accidentally knocking over the bowl of alcohol with your foot. 
“Did you not just say you envy the others? Envy dying by my hand?” He questions you back, looming over you in an intimidating stance. Suddenly much, much taller than reality.  “Every time you’ve said you’d come back, you’ve done no such thing. Have I upset you this much?”
You frantically shake your head. 
“No, no!” You lift your hands in defense, reaching out to his towering figure. “I want to be here with you! You just said yourself that you have things to tend to, so do I! If I don’t show up at work, or at least have my phone, people will have the fucking cops out and looking for me!” 
Sunghoon softens, cinnamon air fading out within a second. He feels only slightly ashamed of his immediate outburst when all you can offer back to him is truth. Perhaps you’re the only one living in the real world, even if he’s been living in it for far, far, longer. 
You’ve pulled him into a fantasy, just like he has for you. He truly let himself forget that you’re no victim that’s meant to die. You can’t just disappear without question, and already it has been days. 
Still, you can’t just leave him. 
“I see.” He says, reaching down to grab at the hands you have clinging to his clothes in an attempt to calm himself more than you. “Shall I retrieve your device for you then?” 
You slowly nod, looking away from him and ignoring the fact that as much as you do want to be here with him, the fact that he just implied that you can never leave is a bit– um, intense. So, you don’t argue when you nod to him. If anything, to keep the peace.
“I’ll see to it that you have it in your hands by tonight. And in time, I’ll invite you back to my quarters.” Ending his sentence with a bribe to keep you here felt fitting, and he’s thankful for the way you accept it. 
You nod quicker now, entirely satisfied with his words when he steps back and away from you. 
“Now, please finish cleaning your wounds. I don’t want to taste infection in you.” 
Despite feeling better about it, wanting him still, those words hurt you. You feel insulted by the time he leaves you alone in the room. Like if you got an infection he’d simply lose interest in you, or perhaps end this love of your blood he has. 
He may even just go ahead and kill you if that were to happen.
It drives you to clean yourself twice over. Three times over. Unwilling to lose the feeling of someone biting you so gently, unwilling to die because your use to him has run out. And it feels like you clean yourself all day. To the point you’re probably making yourself more susceptible to infection rather than protecting yourself from it. 
And in this room, time doesn’t exist. There’s a window indicating where the sun is in the sky, but hours and minutes are meaningless. Only when the sun is up do you start counting, knowing that Sunghoon will only visit you during nightfall. 
You clean yourself for what you assume to be hours upon hours, all the way up until the sun falls and you hear the door creak open. You expect to see Sunghoon coming in for his routine of drinking from you, but instead, you find a pale-eyed nun rush to you with your phone and immediately leave after. 
A quick presence is gone within a moment, but you pay no mind as you look down at your phone. You’re thankful for the fact that it’s probably been on the charger all four days you’ve been gone. Considering, well, there’s no electricity this high up in the cathedral, you’ll have to save your battery as best as you can. 
So many missed calls. 
Even more missed texts. 
Dozens of emails. 
Jungwon.
In the morning after you left your apartment, he checked in with you. All throughout the day too. It wasn’t until that same night where his texts became frantic. A little, “i’m coming over, fuck you if you get mad at me for it.” followed by “are you mad at me? why won’t you respond?” 
You couldn’t help but chuckle at that.
Really though, it hurts your heart to have forgotten about him entirely during your time here. Reading through his texts, you see him fight with himself over your absence. Up until yesterday, where he texts you from the museum. 
A glaring “stopped by again today only to realize your apartment was unlocked this whole time. i’m with your boss now, we are calling the cops if you don’t respond within the next ten seconds.” 
A full day late, you respond quickly. 
You: wonnie!!! i’m sorry! I got sad and went home to see my mom. totally ignored my phone…and forgot to lock the door i guess
You: you know, hormones lol 
Immediate spam. Your phone vibrates aggressively back to back with his frantic texts. 
Wonnie: you have to be fucking JOKING
Wonnie: NOT A SINGLE WORD FROM YOU. YOU COULD HAVE CALLED WORK OR
SOMETHING FROM SOMEONE ELSE’S PHONE. I WAS AT YOUR PLACE EVERY DAY.
Wonnie: i CANNOT believe you!!!!!!!!!!!
Wonnie: your whole ass apartment was unlocked and you weren’t there! anyone could’ve walked right in!!!!! are you stupid or something? 
Wonnie: are you home now?
Wonnie: i’m so mad at you FUCK
Wonnie: i got so scared
Wonnie: im coming over
You panic. 
You: wait, i’m not home yet. I didn’t mean to stay so long, I promise ill be home soon and fill you in on everything. 
Wonnie: call your boss. 
Wonnie: ill deal with the cops, then im gonna be waiting outside of your apartment
Wonnie: don’t ever fucking do that shit again, been crying all morning
Wonnie: i hate you so much right now, im never talking to you again
Wonnie: get your stupid ass back home 
You smile fondly at his worry, but the smile is short lived as you know you probably can’t leave here. Not only from the fact that Sunghoon appears to be unwilling to let you leave but you…don’t want to.
Still, you do need to call your boss, and you make quick work of it. Sitting dissociated through the mindless scolding of your terrible lie of an excuse, and then the following call from the local police department. 
Arguably, speaking to the police was easier than knowing you’ll have to lie to Jungwon again. At least the police are aware that you’re a grown woman who can disappear if she wishes. Jungwon, on the other hand, requires a little more care and consideration. 
You’re tired by the time you lay your phone down, unable to keep your eyes open as you drift off. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Some time later, you wake to the same familiar scent of Sunghoon wafting from under your door. It doesn’t process yet in your brain that you’ve not smelled it since the night you wandered from your apartment. But now? Oh, it’s strong. 
It’s very, very strong. 
Your drowsy eyes look to the door as your legs carry you there, and out you go. Down the hallway, straight to those big doors, straight through those big doors.
The scent burns in your throat the moment you step inside, blurry eyes witnessing two figures right there on the floor. The only clear thing you can make out are his darkened narrowed eyes, only because your brain refuses to process the act taking place in front of you at first.
He looks…rabid. Hair is a mess, sticky and dripping with thick metallic liquid. 
Oh, it sounds so loud. The squelching and the smacking of skin. Your stomach drops, the pit inside of it flourishing with nothing short of rotted desire. 
Right there on the floor of his room lies a woman seemingly experiencing god. Sunghoon is moaning with his eye trained on your shocked figure. He ignores the woman’s aroused grasps against his arms to keep his eyes trained on you. And he just…smirks through it, licking his lips, rolling his eyes back only for them to fall right back to you.
The squelching rings in your ears as he moves faster, feverishly chasing a hunt he’s already got lying beneath him. Almost as if catching him in the act aroused him more than he already had been. Like he’s showing you how much more he’d prefer someone else over you. 
He moans your name inwardly again and again, as if to call you forward to him but your feet can no longer move as you process the act with each call of your name. 
He’s fucking her. He’s devouring her. 
Not you. Her. 
You can feel your heart shrivel at the act when you stumble back, a twisting pain in your chest that you feel silly over. You barely know Sunghoon, but somehow it feels like he’s given you more of himself than he has anyone else. He speaks that way to you, anyway. Always with the words of “I’ve never done this, until you.” 
That was a lie. You’re seeing it now with your own two eyes and you’re paying for believing that you, somehow, could be special. And the pain in your chest travels all throughout your body at the fact that you let this man bite you. You let him take and take until you could barely stand, until you could barely think, until you were right on the cusp of death. 
And you still want to do that for him. But now? He’s grown bored of you. Perhaps he intends to let this woman live too. Perhaps she’s silly enough to fall for a sweet vampire’s words too.
You stumble back more, forcing your legs to work with you rather than against you. It’s like your body has a mind of its own when he smells so welcoming. Cinnamon, spicy, sweet, painful cinnamon. Such a suffocating smell, easy to give in to and grow weak for. At least for you, that’s how it feels. 
When you force yourself to turn around, only to continue stumbling down the hallway, your eyes work against you now too. You knew it would happen though and it’s not something you can stop. The burn and blur of tears prickling at the corners, your throat scratchy and sore. 
You try to hold it in, feeling as if life is being suffocated out of you all the way down. Down, down, down. Past the nuns, past the beautiful and intricate interior, and straight out of the big front doors of the cathedral. 
No goodbyes. 
The breezy night air smacks you hard, forcing a sobbed breath out of you. You dry heave for a moment, squeezing your eyes shut so tight just to try and regain control of yourself and your emotions. The images behind your eyes flash back and forth. You’ve not just witnessed death, but the pleasure of death. Well, if he kills the woman, anyway. 
And you still can’t fathom it. The way you feel, the way you’re reacting, the intense desire for death if it means Sunghoon wants you that badly. Never would you have guessed that a feeling so deeply terrifying exists. But it does, you’re witnessing it overtake the deepest parts of you right now. 
Fuck, you didn’t want to leave but you did. And now here you are, freed from a grasp that you still want so badly. 
Your lungs burn and your chest hurts more than the swollen puncture wounds all over your body. Everything is burning. It’s too, too, hot inside of your skin right now and there’s nothing more you’d rather do than to crawl out of it and freeze. 
Still, you do your best to control the emotions within you. You take a short look around only to feel the head rush hit you now like it should have when you stood from your bed. Right, the blood in your body likely isn’t enough to keep you upright for long and you know you’ll likely not make it to your apartment in this state. 
But you try. Your eyes are out of focus and your legs are clumsy as you try to walk. Down the sidewalk you go, until–
“Woah, little lady.” 
You hear Balor’s voice echo in your ears. The sound of safety feeling so, so far away. 
You can’t even thank him for it because your vision blurs more at the feeling of big, leather clad arms holding you upright, and then– you’re out.
You’re not sure how much time has passed by the time you’re able to hold your eyes open again, but when you do, Jungwon is here and so is that hot bartender you forgot existed. And as you try to comprehend where you are, you learn very quickly that you’re in the back room of the club with concerned eyes focused on..not your face, your body.
“Let’s get you home.” Jungwon’s concerned voice settles in your ears, and only now do you feel his warm hands soothing you against your shoulders. 
“Or maybe a hospital?” Jay offers, also inspecting your skin and the weak state of your body as you try to sit up. 
“No, no. I’m okay, really.” You say, immediately starting to cry out. “Please, just take me home.” 
And so, home is where you go. Jay drives both you and Jungwon there with a kind voice and worried eyes. You see him make the attempt to hug you before leaving, but Jungwon is quick to stop him with a small shake of his head. 
“Let me know when you’re feeling better.” Is all Jay says when he leaves, which, you’re sure he didn’t intend to leave but of course, Jungwon. You can see that he wants to be the one here with you and he insisted to Jay that he’s got you. 
It heals your heart a little bit, but doesn’t change the fact that you’re embarrassed for not only Jungwon to be pulled into your mess, but Jay too? 
You’re humiliated. 
And by the time Jungwon has undressed and redressed you, ignoring the intense smell of alcohol against your skin for now, he’s immediately lying next to you, clinging to you really. 
 You’re aware of what he saw when he removed your clothes. You heard the breath he took in, you saw his confusion at how the clothes you had on were very much not from your closet. He’s going to ask, and you knew he would.
“You’re really cold.” He says in a cracked voice, gentle and sweet as he tries to warm you up. “You weren’t with your mom, were you?” 
You weakly shake your head. 
“You were with that guy you told me about before.” He says now, grabbing you tighter pretending he doesn’t know just how many wounds you have under your clothes. He can’t help but hold you tighter, even if it hurts you.
“What did he do to you?” 
Your throat starts to burn as you cry again. You can barely process what’s happened yourself and explaining it to someone else only feels that much harder. 
The pulsing in your head is too much, you can’t even think straight right now. 
“It was–” You try to calm down, breathing in deep but avoiding eye contact. “It was consensual, don’t worry.” 
Jungwon’s eyes narrow, staring at the deep bite marks on your neck. He’s quick to lift himself up, ripping your shirt up and off of you without so much as trying to be gentle. His panic is blatant and he’s entirely unable to hide how pissed off he is right now.
“No, it wasn't.” He dead-pans as he presents your own body to you, his voice coming out harsher than usual. “You’d be out of your fucking mind to think i believe that this was consensual.” 
He glares at the swollen marks, unsure as to what to do with himself. 
“Fuck,” He scoffs your name along with the curse, throwing his hands up. “Fucking look at them.”
You turn away from him now, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively in an attempt to not peer at what you wish you could have more of. You know what this looks like though, and you’re really trying to see things from his perspective. 
But…It’s hard after everything you’ve witnessed yourself. 
‘It was.” You say again. “I practically begged him to keep doing it.” 
Jungwon falls silent as he counts. 1, 2, 3, 13, 25, 56, 72, still more.
“I wasn’t going to come home, you know.” You sigh out at the silence of his counting. 
More silence. 
“Was gonna stay and never leave.” 
“What? Why?” He panics more at the admittance, dropping down over you and forcing your arms from yourself, trying to pretend he didn’t re-open some of your wounds by tearing your shirt off of you. 
You can hear your best friend crying at the way you hide from him, all bloodied and bruised, but you keep your eyes closed even tighter. All he can do is lend you the entire weight of his body, enveloping you in all of his warmth and care, using his entire body to shield you from even the air in your room. 
“What did he do?” Jungwon pleads for an answer with a cracked whisper. He needs context. Anything to explain the state of you right now.
“You wouldn’t understand.” 
“What did he do?” He presses again, voice only cracking more as he cries along with you. 
“It’s more so what he didn’t do.” 
Silence again. 
“What did he fucking do?” 
You take in a deep breath, sighing out against your best friend’s fluffy hair, humming at his warmth and how much you’ve missed it. 
There’s nothing you can say to make him understand, all you can do is try because hearing him like this is, arguably, just making it more painful.
“I just really liked him, and I guess he didn’t like me so much in the end.” 
Jungwon chooses to take that at face value, opting to not let you out of his sight from this moment forward if he can help it. At one point with you, he was worried about being too clingy. Truly, he was afraid he would annoy you by attaching himself. Never has he grown so close to a person so fast and never has he gained such comfort within someone else’s bubble like he does with you. The comfort is still there, but no longer does he give a single fuck about clinging too much. You clearly cling too.
If you cling enough to let a man abuse your body like that, you’ll be able to handle him clinging just as much, enough to care for you, and enough to not fucking leave your side. He’s not going anywhere, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.
After all, he’s not stupid, but he’s willing to act as dumb as you need him to if it means you’ll let him keep you within arms reach. In his head, there’s no way you fell into something with someone who could do this to you without reason, and it appears it’s not a question he’ll get a clear answer from you any time soon. 
It doesn’t matter if his installation will come to an end at some point. He can’t just leave you here when there’s some strange man running around biting the fuck out of people like a rabid dog. Abusing his best friend? No. He won’t have it and he doesn’t care if he has to force you to accept his protection.
He can’t do much for you, but he’s willing to at least be here with you. 
“Hey, it’s okay.” Jungwon soothes you, clinging tighter just to feel some of those reopened wounds bleed onto him. His voice is a stark reminder that there’s more to feel in your body than just pain. “I won’t let him near you again, okay?”
You nod, still crying as you cling back, trying to ignore the images in your head of Sunghoon. 
“Okay.” You lie, missing him too much already, the faint scent of cinnamon still in your nose. 
And you fall asleep like that. Warm. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
You hate calling it an “escape.” You carried yourself out of that beautiful cathedral against your body begging you to stay. Still, even now with Jungwon clinging so warmly at night, you wish you had never left. 
Even the pain of seeing what Sunghoon does behind your back, the jealousy that came with it, you would have stayed if only to prove your worth to him. Being so close to death is exhilarating, and you find yourself feeling entirely empty and void of any emotion that brings joy because of it. 
This isn’t depression, nor is it simple envy. This sadness within you sinks lower than you thought possible, so deeply rooted within you that you feel death itself couldn’t even allow a safe escape. After all, if vampires are real, who's to say you won't end up as a tormented ghost forever searching for a man who can never die?
Damned if you live, damned if you die, so to say. You can’t have Sunghoon either way, you can only have him while suffering. 
And oh, how you miss the cold. You miss his cold. You miss the fear too. You miss the way he’d laugh with no breath against you and drink from your thighs like he needed more. You miss the way your wounds would pulse in pain and lend little reminders of the teeth that pierced them. Even now, they’re healing so well.
And it still hurts.
It hurts to know he said, while holding you, that he craves you. That he very much wants you but has things to tend to. The fact that he needed to tend to fucking other women while drenched in their blood? Things to tend to. 
Because to Sunghoon, real life women, breathing women, are minimized to things to tend to.
Fucking vampires. 
It’s been a week now since you left and it hasn’t gotten easier. During the week, Jungwon hasn’t so much as let you shower without the bathroom door open. You guess that’s fair. 
Still, it has only been a week. A week of everything moving fast, a week of Jungwon, a week of slow and dreadful acceptance, and a week of smelling nothing but faint, ever so slight, cinnamon. 
By now you know it’s him. Like he’s truly dug his claws into you and doesn’t intend to let you forget all that he took from you. Always that fucking smell, from the first night you met him until now. Yet he is nowhere to be seen, even when you stare at the cathedral after the sun goes down. 
No one has left. No one has gone inside. 
Part of you even found yourself worrying if he’s eaten. Hah. Funny.
Still, you’re forced to live in reality now. Nothing but healing wounds, meaningful days, and reminders that you let yourself fall as quickly and painfully as possible. 
You’re entirely dissociated, as if you’re gliding rather than walking, as if each day passes in a second rather than a twenty four hour time span, as if you’re truly empty now and not filled with the blood you thought meant so much. 
Somehow, you find comfort in the emptiness though. Jungwon fills the space as best he can too. He always accepts your rejections of going to update Jay at the club just to sit between your legs on the living room floor and try to make you laugh through silly faces riddled with concern.
You assume he’s in contact with Jay anyway, letting him know that you’re not quite dead yet. 
The days blur together now, up until two weeks pass, three weeks, four, five weeks.
Thankfully, by the fifth week, it’s gotten easier. Each day you just have to remind yourself that you can never forget Jungwon again like you did before. He’s the one who helped you through this, and to think you’d ever make him go through this again is insane. In fact, he’s the reason you finally feel good inside again. 
He’s like medicine, which is cringe and lame as fuck to say but it’s true. Internally, he’s made you feel better. Yet, right beside all those happy warm feelings lies everything else. Distress, sadness, anxiety. 
They still seep out of you too. Every night, really, after the daytime wears off and Jungwon runs out of things to distract you with.
“Why do you have to look at me like that?” Jungwon says sweetly, sprawled out on your bed in his pajamas as he watches you pace around your room. “I swear, it’s like everything I say to you goes through one ear and out the other.” 
You pause in your step, sad eyes reaching his face. 
“I already told you I’m not going home.” He repeats himself for what feels like the thousandth time to you. “I’m still getting paid, I have enough to last me if you let me stay here before finding work.”
After all, it’s not like Jungwon has anything to go back home to. Save for an annoying sister who probably wanted him to move the fuck out of her space anyway. He’s the last person on this earth to be afraid to up and move out with a near stranger.
You’re not so much a stranger to him though, and the need to be by your side far outweighs anything else right now. 
“Yeah, but, eventually.”
Never have you been one to worry about fleeting time. Never until you met that dead motherfucker. You worry about not what is happening, but what will happen. The inevitable. You no longer welcome it. 
It’s not death that brings the anxiety though, it’s just…the clock. 
With the ticking, the tocking, and the changing of seasons. Everything lasts both too long and not long enough. At this moment, the fear is Jungwon leaving at some point in your life. For any reason at all, really. 
He’s been by your side since you found your way back to him. A nuisance at times, yes, but you’re attached. To an unhealthy degree, you are fucking attached to him at the hip. He’s your only grounding force on this earth and you think he’s picking up on it. 
To the point he’s offered to drop his entire life an hour away just to stay for you. 
Yes, Jungwon recognizes how toxic and unhealthy the friendship has become, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He can’t just leave, nor does he want to. Even if he’s the one who leaves to get your mail, he’s the one who cooks, and he’s the one who holds you close at night, reminding you that time doesn’t have to mean a damn thing if you try hard enough to forget about the man who doesn’t experience it at all.
There’s no way you can get through a single day without him right now, and the thought of having to do it in the future scares you. 
You know it’s pathetic. You know you have no right to keep him in a box next to you as a comfort, you know he’s still got a life to live and romance to find. But…you hate it. 
“Eventually what?” He quirks a brow at you, having been concerned for you and the shift in your entire personality yet again tonight. You’ve changed for the worse, and it terrifies him to see you act so gone. 
“You’re gonna leave me here alone.” Your voice is small, cracking when you say it only because you hear the words ring in your ears. 
A pathetic whine, as if you’re speaking to someone else and not Jungwon. You’re not you anymore. No, you’ve become obsessed with the looping memories and feelings that took a mere four days to fall in love with. 
Addicted to emptiness but begging for Jungwon to forever be the crutch you stand on. 
You’re selfish and you have no fucking right to do this to him.
“Hey…” He rolls out of bed and steps up to you, easily putting a soothing hand against your shoulder. “Do you want me to stay?”
You nod. Knowing this same situation happens nearly every night. You panic, he soothes. You beg, he reminds you that he’s the one who offered in the first place. You ask him to stay, he confirms by asking you to let him.
And to him, he knows this is anything but a romantic partnership. You very much need someone here who is willing to play dumb but remain hyper aware. He wants to be this person for you because of his own selfish reasons too. 
It’s not all for you.
For one, he wants the girl back that he met last month. Secondly, he wants to see you learn and grow, because he knows you have a long and beautiful life ahead of you (and he better be fucking part of it.) And lastly, he’s never felt needed like this and there’s something in him that craves to be important too. 
It’s not too difficult for Jungwon to find people that’s important to him. Really, it never takes much. Perhaps someone held the door open for him, he’d probably jump in front of a bus for that person not two seconds later. But to feel just as important to someone else? 
He needs to be here with you. As toxic as it may seem to outsiders, Jungwon sees nothing wrong with being the person you need simply because you’re the person he needs too. 
“Then stop saying stupid shit.” He mopes now as he pulls you back to your bed and holds you much like he always does, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re always okay at work, but I swear the second we come home you’re falling apart.”
You freeze, falling apart instantly. 
“I wish you’d tell me what happened.” He says now, jumping into the typical routine of calming and soothing you. “I don’t know what to do when you get like this.”
You wish you would tell him too. 
But if he knew, that hope of ever seeing Sunghoon again would crumble. Already, Jungwon swears to you that he will never let this happen to you again. But you want it to, so, so badly. 
Even if you’re taking advantage of his care by letting him treat you like a child who can’t escape a tantrum, he really flipped his whole life because you chose to live in a crisis. 
You chose to do this to yourself and to Jungwon. 
Finally, you look up at him with your fingers gripping him.
“I ask so much from you.” You sniffle when you say it, immediately calming yourself and feeling like a fucking idiot for doing this. “I feel like I’m going insane.” 
He nods.
“You kind of are.” He confirms for you. “And you have to talk about it eventually, it’s just going to keep hurting if you don’t.”
He’s right. He’s always right. 
And like always, every single time you imagine how you’ll tell him, nothing in your brain can form a sentence. But you do try and by now, accustomed to your pain, you feel like something needs to be said before he grows tired of you too. 
“I don’t know why, but I wanted him to kill me so badly.” 
Saying it out loud doesn’t feel as good as you wanted it to, not with the way Jungwon’s face immediately contorts into panic.
“Wha-”
“But he wouldn’t do it.” You shake your head, refusing eye contact. “He’d do it to everyone else, but not to me.” 
“Wait, what?”
Maybe choosing to say that of all things was a mistake. After all, you did appear stumbling down the street near death already. Jungwon isn’t going to take what you’re saying lightly and you were stupid to believe otherwise.
“Have you ever smelled cinnamon?” You continue, trying to skew the conversation from his panic.
Jungwon is flipping his shit trying to make sense of your words. You wanted this guy to kill you? Well, he damn near fucking did and even now, while he’s not around, you’re practically dead already in terms of everything but breathing. And what the fuck do you mean he’d do it to everyone else?! 
Are you referring to an emotional death? Trying to make this shit sound poetic? Or did you really want to die? 
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jungwon’s voice is stern but shaky. “Kill you how?” 
You shake your head.
“I don’t know.” You offer, knowing you’re just making it worse. “I wanted him to want me that badly.”
Jungwon drops his arms from you to pull back, dead-pan staring at you because he doesn’t know what to do or say to that. He forces himself to think of the reality of the situation. You’re just being poetic. You’re just being dramatic. 
He’s the same way when someone hurts him too, but still. Using such heavy words scares him, and he can’t just sit here and tell you it’ll be okay anymore. 
“But he doesn't.” Jungwon musters up the courage to say it, knowing you’re going to cry. “This weirdo literally tried to eat you alive, and he still doesn’t want you.” 
And you do cry again. 
“And now, you’re letting him kill you anyway?” Jungwon scoffs. “You’re begging me to stay here with you, just so I can watch you not even make an attempt to fucking get over it?” 
You know he’s telling you what you need to hear, doesn’t change the fact that you don’t want to hear it. The only thing you want to hear is Sunghoon and his lying words, telling you that Jungwon is full of shit. 
The worst part about it is that, it’s not even that you’re suicidal. You’re not. You like being alive. You’re just…you don’t know. You don’t fucking know why you wanted and still want Sunghoon to kill you.
Perhaps it’s because it would mean he needs you that much.
But he doesn’t need you, you’re not irresistible. 
And that hurts you. That man fucking slithered into your heart and made a nest there. You can’t get him out no matter how much you try. 
“He broke up with you. You were together for like, what? A few days?” Jungwon minimizes the situation unintentionally, panicking at the way a person he’s grown so close to has managed to be utterly fucking ripped apart by a singular man. “He broke up with you. That’s it. It’s time to stand up and move on, there’s better people out there that–”
“No.” You shake your head. “I broke up with him, I guess, if you can call it that.” 
Jungwon softens, tilting his head. Now he’s getting somewhere. 
“Why, then? Why did you break up with him when you didn’t want to?” Still, Jungwon is glad you chose to. Clearly you’re not as absent minded as you pretend to be. Seeing how littered your body was with pain, you knew you needed to leave, right? You weren’t really just going to let this guy wither you away, right?
“He was with someone else.” 
Jungwon shakes his head in pity. 
“What a scumbag. A total freak.” 
“But like, he needed to do it, I guess.” You try to explain without truly explaining. “I got mad and left because he was doing something he needed to do with someone that wasn’t me.” 
“He needed to cheat on you? Are you hearing yourself?” Jungwon questions, throwing his arms up. “He’s a nympho, babe, he probably manipulated the fuck out of you to make you think this way.”
And at that, you give up on talking about it. You feel too tired to continue. 
“I guess so.” You whisper out with a shrug, sniffling up the tears.
“He doesn’t deserve you. You can’t just…die for people.” Jungwon says, realizing that even he doesn’t follow his own advice. He’d probably die for you himself, but not because he craves it.
He’ll never understand why you wanted this man to “kill” you. In whatever way you meant, no one is worth owning that much of you. 
Jungwon hums though, knowing you’re tired now. He isn’t exactly being as soothing as he’d like to be right now but never has he seen a person act like this over a break up. Cheating hurts, of course, but you barely knew this guy. There’s no way there isn’t something else going on for you to say such insane fucking things. 
“You must’ve lost your damn mind to let someone do that to you.” Jungwon says against your hair, his soft voice not matching his words in the slightest. “I can’t believe you said that.”
“Me either.” You admit, feeling the insanity bubbling in your stomach and hating it. 
Still, the scent of cinnamon. 
“Do you smell it though?” You ask now, voice even weaker. 
Jungwon inhales deeply, releasing his breath with all of the frustration in his gut.
You feel it fan across your cheek warmly, minty, and you smile. 
“Cinnamon?” He asks, remembering your question from before. “Yeah, sometimes I can smell it.” 
You smile bigger now. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Another two weeks pass, only this time you are coming back to yourself. Which is strange, really. You were beginning to think you’d never feel like a person again after the first month passed. Then, within another few weeks you’re almost entirely back to yourself. 
You’re still a bit dissociated, which is likely due to the trauma of what you experienced and put yourself through but thankfully, the ticking-time spans you grew to hate forces itself now to be your new form of comfort. With each passing second, hour, day, and week, you’re slowly able to not forget, but accept and move on. 
Still, you know it’s going to fuck you up for years to come. You’ll always have the feeling of emptiness deep inside no matter how much the space shrinks. You have no choice now but to try and fill your life and time with things and people who matter to you. At least this way, you know that you matter too. 
And with this time spent away and healing, the scent has faded too. You can even go to work now without holding your breath or your eyes being forced to look at the source of the smell. In fact, you avoid taking even a glimpse of the looming cathedral. You don’t keep cinnamon in your apartment now either. You don’t take it with any of your beverages or food items, and you certainly shouldn’t be smelling it in the air anymore. 
Sometimes it’s still there though, turning your stomach in a way that’s both needy and sick. You still miss him and the feeling of ice, but you know better now. Why give up the ability to breathe without your throat burning? Why give up being a person that Jungwon actually wants to be around now? 
After all, you’ve started feeling so much better to the point that even he feels okay leaving you alone from time to time. Showers are back to being private, you can check your own mail, and a few times you were even able to go to work without him trying to force his way inside like his installation was still sitting on display. 
Which, it isn’t, by the way. Your boss had his name and face blacklisted, but still on most days he waltzed in like he owned the place. Every single time buckling the knees of your boss, every single time being allowed to stay. 
Thankfully, push came to shove and he landed himself a job there with you, his employment became official just today, actually. And as professional as the place was for you when you approached with your resume, it’s definitely not professional at all. They did pay Jungwon under the table several times just for doing shit you were supposed to be doing. 
The point is, even if Jungwon wasn’t able to make the effort to keep good on his word regarding moving into your apartment to stay beside you, he still likely would have pushed to at least work with you. 
Thankfully, he gets to do both those things. 
And despite the fact that he feels okay leaving you alone from time to time, there’s still an immense amount of anxiety about being away from you for too long. He knows that in time, it’ll pass and the two of you can live both near each other and apart, but for now? Might as well call him your husband because there’s no way in hell he’s gonna be doing his own thing without you. 
That leads to now. The same day Jungwon secured his employment, the same day you made it through without a single breakdown, the same night Jungwon needs to actually go back home to move his shit into this apartment with you.
“Come with me.” Jungwon comments, but you know it’s more of a demand. “You can meet my sister, just ignore if she makes jokes about us dating or something.”
You laugh. Genuinely, you laugh.
“Jokes? We both know you’re in love with me Jungwon. I’m just waiting for the ring at this point.” 
He laughs with a shrug, knowing he probably would marry you at this point, if just to protect you from all the people who wouldn’t care for you as much as he does. 
“Really though, come with me?” He asks again. “I’m still a little worried about leaving you here.”
“You’ll be back in the morning,” You start, trying to calm him down. You genuinely do feel okay right now. “I’ll just be sleeping the whole time, I'm tired anyway.”
Jungwon nods fondly, aware that it’s only practical that he make the move during the night hours. After all, his sister won’t be home otherwise and he does miss her. It’s true that you’ll probably just go to bed and he’ll be back before you even wake up tomorrow.
Still.
“You could just sleep in my old ro–”
“Wonnie.” You walk up to him and grab his face with both hands. “I’m fine.” 
He smiles at you, always loving the way you do your best to reassure him even through your worst breakdowns. You’re not breaking down right now though, and he can’t help but believe every word you say when you’re looking at him like this. 
“I swear to god if I come home and you so much as have a single bite mark on you, I’m burning this fucking city to the ground.” 
You roll your eyes, the memory stinging only a little bit. By now though, you’ve almost entirely forgotten how it felt in the first place. 
In fact, you’re shocked by the way you acted after leaving. So outside of yourself. Truly, you think you were going insane and Jungwon was right to confirm that for you. You’re lucky you had him here with you, because you likely would have ran right back into that fucking cathedral and–
Yeah. You would have done something dramatic. 
You didn’t though. And sure, you now know vampires exist or whatever but Sunghoon has not bothered you even once since you left. You hope he’s simply moved on so that your resolve doesn’t break. Jungwon worked so hard to make you feel better, and you worked just as hard. You can’t just feel bad that you don’t remember what Sunghoon’s fangs felt like against your skin.
If anything, you hope Sunghoon is freaked out by you leaving and knowing his secret. Maybe he thinks that if he tries to approach you again, you’ll tell everyone about what he is and what he did. Not that it would end with him in jail or anything. You’d probably end up in an asylum, actually, but still. 
And to Jungwon’s threats of arson, you simply pinch his cheek, being sure to sit your thumb right in his dimple. 
“Strictly no vampire kinks.” You smile at him, crossing both of your arms in front of yourself to create an X. 
“Good.” Jungwon nods back as he puts on his shoes and heads for the door. “Call me if you need anything, I’ll keep my volume turned up. You’ve got Jay’s number too, he can be here quickly if it’s an emergency.”
He feels content knowing that you’re about to be stuck with him for as long as he can manage. It’s just one short trip back home. A mere six or seven hours spent away while he packs the shit his sister probably “forgot” to box up for him, loading up the rented van, and then unloading it here. 
It’s just a short trip. You’ll be sleeping through it anyway. 
And when he’s gone, you feel tired. Keeping good on your promise of going to bed almost immediately. The feeling of being alone for the night is a bit uncomfortable, so sleep comes easy as a means to escape the inevitable over-thinking you’d probably do otherwise. 
No overthinking. 
It’s just a short trip. 
Jungwon will be back before you wake up. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Ah, to think it’s over. 
To think he’d leave you be? To think he wouldn’t be looming around every corner watching, waiting? If it weren’t for Jungwon, these weeks wouldn’t have passed so easily for you, that much is certain.
As if they were easy for you to get through at all. Jungwon, the very person who got you through it, was the reason he stayed away, the reason you were able to heal. 
Jungwon was the ward.
Was. 
Deep in your sleep it’s like your body knows. The same scent fills your nose just seconds after your sleep brain feels the goosebumps spread across your skin. Instantly, you wake up and back to insanity you go
You truly wake up. 
Your legs aren’t being carried by any force other than you own, and your mind is crisp and clear in your thoughts as you jump out of bed. 
Not walking, running to your apartment door. You swing open the door and don’t even look at him before slamming your entire weight against his chest and clinging like a lost child. You can feel the familiar cold fear filling your body, knowing that if he truly wanted to, he could kill you right now. 
All of the progress you made burns away within seconds. You’ve never felt so elated to ruin your own life. 
Even when he pushes you away, nothing at this moment could make you let him go. He’s here, he’s standing right there. Your fingers grip as he pushes you back in silence, stretching his garment out far beyond the bounds of which it was sewn to withstand. It rips, and still he shoves you further back from him all while stalking forward. 
Walking you back into your apartment, just to let the door slam behind him as he stands with a narrowed gaze fixated on you. 
You glance up at him only for a moment, loving the crazed look in his eye. Adoring that he must have missed you to appear so full of life like this. You can only compare his eyes now to the same eyes you saw when you ran away from him. 
As if they were burning on you. Or perhaps, for you? 
He’s dangerous, your body feels it instantly and all you can do is lean into it.
“That’s all it took for you to leave me?” Sunghoon bellows out in a spiteful voice, the sound sending pleasant shivers down your spine. “Had your blood boiling over some minx? I told you I didn’t want you witnessing it.” 
You soak in his voice like it’s your last supper, missing it so badly, adoring it even more. He speaks as if weeks haven’t passed, as if it’s a mere hour after you ran from him. You move forward to cling again, unable to think of words to say and opting to show how much you regret leaving through your actions.
Still, he pushes you away from him. A bit harder this time, to the point you almost topple over onto your back. You keep your balance only because it feels like you’re fucking floating just looking at him right now.
“I tried to pull you back to me, why did you fight it so hard?” He continues to fuss, as if he’s been thinking over and over again about all the words he wants to spit at you. Like he’s punishing you, and yet still struggling himself not to cling back. “Never has your aroma been so empty, so faint.”
You’re in shock but your body yearns for him, thankful to go back to square one. Like you’re special. Like you meant something enough to him that he’s here looking like he may give you what you’ve wanted all along. 
“Countless women. Countless men. Never you, and now you manage to hide from me?” His hand shoots to your neck, pushing you back further into your apartment. “How?” He grips dangerously tight as he continues to spew his breathless words. “You masked yourself with that– that floral boy, didn’t you?” 
You listen to his spiteful words like your favorite song, falling into each vibration of his vowels and consonants. Never has he spoken so much, and never have you heard his voice waver the way it is now. You can’t help but follow his movements with a smile on your face, swallowing through this tight grip on your throat. 
“You cannot fathom how hard it was to stop. Do you understand how much I want to fuck every last drop out of you? You should be thanking me.”
Oh, you’re so proud. So, so, fucking proud. The glee runs through you at his needy words, even if you know better. He’ll always feed on people who aren’t you, and he’ll always probably fuck them too. 
But does he show up at their house? Does he grow frustrated with them like this too? 
“Did you kill her when you were done?” You ask out through his choking hand, so confident that it makes him freeze on the spot.
He’s genuinely shocked that you’re not scared. You’re not intimidated. You don’t feel bad. No, you feel proud of being hunted. Like you take enjoyment out of his suffering, much like he does for you. 
On his part, it’s not intentional. You have to suffer to be next to him. 
Never has a person made him suffer too though. Fucking never would he have allowed it. God, he’s infatuated with you, utterly obsessed.
“Of course I killed her.” Sunghoon admits with his brow rising up, feeding into your ecstatic reaction of his death grip on you, only gripping tighter now. “Does that please you?” 
You’ve never been happier. 
And he moans out at the way you shyly nod, seemingly experiencing euphoria at his admittance of murder. Oh, if only you knew how good you smelled that night. Blood pumping for him, blood boiling in emotion for him. The woman didn’t last more than a minute after you left him. He couldn’t resist at that point. 
Seeing you, smelling you, fucking someone who he wished could have been you. 
He’s not prepared at all for this, for you. So willing, wanting what he’s trying to avoid doing to you.
That’s why he’s here though. Unprepared, but unable to resist any longer. He has pulled and pulled, every single day trying to lure you back to him against your will. He thought he was going to have to take you tonight against your wishes. 
But your eyes are sparkling for him. 
“No one’s heart has ever beat quite like yours when looking at me.” Sunghoon whispers now, falling and spiraling into this moment with you, losing his composure entirely. “So loud, each pump fucking gushes.”
“And I'll chase it every time.” He continues to ramble in a way that sounds like he’s in physical pain, like the amount of time you’ve stayed away from him genuinely hurts him. 
You still can’t respond though, your words are caught up in your throat right where his hand squeezes and you couldn’t even if you wanted to. He knows it too, and he didn’t intend to let you answer anyway because genuinely, he’s fucking losing himself. 
His hungry lips chase forward near instant after saying those words to you, not biting, just kissing. Tasting you rather than the blood that drives him. 
Because for some reason, that’s what he craves right now. 
“I beg.” He cries out against your tongue, relishing in the feeling of your life clutched in his hands, not even sure himself of what he’s begging for.
“Sunghoon,” You choke out his name with a gentle voice, pulling back from his bruising lips and throwing your arms up around his shoulders. “I bet you could smell my heart shatter too.” 
He moans at the strained words first and the out of body experience you lend to him second. His soul is always trapped within this dead skin, but you ascend him. 
Here, standing with his hands on your throat, you hold him? You say sly, mocking words? Oh, he can give you the world. He can give you anything you want. He can be whatever you want. Never has a person had this hold on him, and never could another person be able to do what you do. 
He can’t just let you go. He tried already. He’s supposed to be the one with the ability to hunt, lure, and pull. How is it that you do it to him? Your blood alone does it. The fact that all you need to do is exist within the same city and he’s ripping his bedroom walls apart wanting to get at you? He needs you. 
No. You’re not going anywhere this time. He’ll give up the taste of your sweet blood if he has to. The taste of your wet tongue is enough to satiate him by this point. The feeling of your neck beneath his hands, your pretty eyes urging him to strangle the life out of you.
He’d do it too. All you’d have to do is ask. He would do anything for you at this moment, no matter the cost. He will take anything you offer.
“Oh–” He groans first, licking his lips. “I could almost taste it.” His eyes darken more, somehow, as he leads you through the apartment. All the way until that same gaze causes your legs to buckle. He can’t help it by this point, after all, he knew coming here would end up this way.
There’s no self control when his hands release your neck, your buckled legs forcing you to fall against the floor, and he gladly topples with you. His hands immediately shoot to either side of your head, holding himself up just so he can dip down and inhale you. 
Fuck, he missed the way your skin smells more than he remembers. And trust, missing you was a daunting experience for him before he got here.
He inhales all over you, again and again. He trails his nose against both sides of your neck, up your cheek, into your hair, down to your neck again.
“So delicious.” He moans mindlessly. “Never have I missed someone so terribly.” 
“You were with someone else.” You continue your confident scolding with a scoff, only because of the way he’s losing himself on you. This is all you could ever want and reminding him of why you left feels elating. 
“My love,” He starts, speaking right up against your ear as one of his hands trails from your cheek to your waist. “My loyalty to your life is what I offered.”
Goddamn the confidence running through you smells stronger than anything he’s ever experienced. As if you didn’t already drive him to do things he never once considered. Oh, now? With you like this? He would die ten times more for you and you alone, if he could, anyway. 
“Do you not recognize that I would have drained you to death, if I didn’t want you here with me?” 
He lifts his head now, looking at you with so much adoration. 
“You’re not a simple meal, when will you understand that?”
And when you snicker at his desperate praise, he cannot fucking control the feelings within him.
“Your little floral friend is going to be devastated,” He admits with a rumbled voice, alluding to the inevitability of him coming here tonight. “You’ve begged me for this, and now I’m begging you.” 
You pause, feeling the butterflies in your stomach release in a deep breath. 
“Die for me.” Sunghoon whispers, dragging that same wandering hand straight between your legs and dipping into the wet heat he’s been missing so badly. No blood, just thick, hot, wet slick. “I beg.” 
You can barely comprehend his words through that ice cold feeling of his fingers pressing into you. He hums in the silence, looking straight into your eyes with the question. He’s very aware of the weight behind it too. 
“My love, please.” He continues, losing composure by the seconds as he feels how warm your wet walls are hugging his fingers. “Not in a thousand years have I wanted someone more than you.”
He continues pressing his fingers in, moaning himself at how good it feels, only to feel your moan fan against his cheeks in turn. It’s something that drives him only further from the self-control he fought so hard to keep. That warm breath represents the life within you that he intends to snuff out. If at all, to keep  you forever. 
“And not for a thousand years more–” He’s starting to babble, his once clear thoughts racing at being surrounded by everything that is you. “Please.” 
And his fingers only quicken with his thoughts, rendering you unable to answer even if you tried. The idea and confirmation in his head of not truly killing you drives him wild. It would be death, nonetheless, but not true death. For weeks he has suffered over the thoughts, always telling himself that he would never fate someone to a death such as his own. 
But you, oh you. The sublime blood within you pulled him harder than he believes he pulled you. Never in his thousands of years has he experienced such a thing, nor did he know such blood existed within a person. It drives him to feel for you. To adore you. To be entirely enamored with the fact that you have shattered him from within at both the thought of losing your blood, but wanting to take all of it. 
Still, he craves the taste of you to such an extent that you truly will die tonight, whether it’s against your will or not. It’s too late for him to reason with himself, feeling your walls wrapped around his fingers, seeing you act so mischievous towards his antics from before. At this point, just a blink of time compared to how long he’s lived, the decision is clearer than anything he thinks he’s ever had to choose. 
If he can’t have all of your blood, you’ll waste it on a death not nearly as beautiful as he can offer. 
If he can have all of your blood, perhaps he doesn’t have to lose you along with it. After all, it’s not just the blood at this point that makes him feel like a blood-drunk beast. No, no, no. It’s everything that is you. Your skin, the secretions of your body, the way your hands grip and the way your eyes blink. Blood-drunk, yes, but more so just drunk on you.
He can settle without the breath and without the blood if you’re willing to share meals with him for the remainder of time this earth has in the universe. 
Sunghoon’s mind is racing at the thought. Working too fast for him to focus on everything at once, but he tries. Tucking his fingers deep, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck and inhaling as deeply as he can. 
You’re feeling like you’re on top of the world in the way he falls apart on you, unable to comprehend that this is actually happening. Every word he’s said to you rings in your ears as if it were spoken in a language you can’t understand. With his fingers working you open, with his lips on your skin rather than his fangs…
You feel…different. Like he feels differently. 
And you can’t stop yourself from basking in the thought that he killed that woman. What was once jealousy that he didn’t want you enough to kill you has twisted and morphed into the thought that he kept you alive because he couldn’t stand not having you.
Every whispered word confirms it, and still you can’t comprehend fully what it is he’s trying to say. 
So, you focus and try to comprehend the feeling in your body that he’s offering instead. You have yearned for this cold within you. Missed it so badly you went insane. 
To think you’d ever truly get over him is arguably more insane than wanting him to kill you at all.
“Did you hear me?” He whispers against your ear, shoulders shifting with each plunge of his fingers, other hand clinging to your waist so tightly, almost pulling you to him. “You could be beside me,” He moves his lips across your neck, resting his lips against the moan you let out. “Forever.”
Oh, it clicks. 
And just as it clicks, he can hear your heart rate gushing the same blood he intends to take from you in full. Gushing, rushing through each vein and valve within you. Oh, he could truly devour you whole with how you’ve deprived him of this. He could leave not a trace of you left for the world to remember, but no. That would be worse than the beheadings that haunt his nightly visions. 
The sound of it rushing through you, god, it makes him feel like a mad man. He can’t help but prevent your timid answers in the midst of red hot desire. He pulls his hand out of you, spreading his palm against your healed thighs instead and spreads your legs out wide from under him. 
He’s quick to move down. No kissing, no biting, nothing like what he wants to do. He needs to satiate his desire somehow, and he doesn’t want to waste a single drop of your blood until the time comes. 
And when he pulls your sleep-shorts and panties off of you, he’s immediately licking a languid stripe up your glistening cunt. He remembers how it looked in red, the thought sending his body into overdrive at the taste of you now compared to that night. 
Still so sweet. Almost as good as the blood. Ah, it serves as a reminder that perhaps he can give up the blood after taking it from you. This alone is enough. So creamy, so slippery. 
Yes, yes. A confirmation. It’s you, not just your blood. It’s you he won’t live without. Your mind, your voice, the wet you spill, the cum you’ll let him fuck out of you. 
It’s always you. 
And he hums into it, licking into you as far as his tongue can manage. He braces both hands on your thighs just to spread them further, skewing his head to reach deeper, deeper, fucking deeper. Tasting you, smelling you, utterly obsessed with you. 
All you can do is shoot your hands down, forever waiting to feel his teeth sink into you but only feeling pleasure. So much pleasure. All of his freezing body parts just send consistent shivers up and down your spine. It’s like you can feel him under your skin when he does this, even with his hair tangled in your fingers as if you’re appreciating him for all of it. 
It’s so good. With the way he doesn’t need to breathe. He keeps his tongue in you, and even still you feel as if you don’t need your clit stimulated at all with the way he’s working his mouth so aggressively. And it’s good with the way his fingernails dig into your skin not yet enough to cause blood, unlike before. Good with the way he hums into you through it all, the same way he did when he’d feed on you.
Ah, it’s just, it’s good. It’s dreamy. All of it feels like a fantasy up until he does pull back. 
You look down in time with him looking up, those pretty eyes no longer looming and dark. Still crazed to an extent but you know they’re for you. 
“Sunghoon,” You whisper out, watching him closely with the way his eyes roll back at even hearing his name on your tongue so prettily. “Why aren’t you feeding?” 
You feel his fingernails leave more half moon shapes in your skin at the question. His eyes open in a half-lidded stare at you now, lips falling slack.
He looks so pretty, with the wet coating of his plush and pretty lips, your hands still tangled in his hair. 
He still just looks at you. He doesn’t breathe, doesn’t blink, and doesn’t answer. 
“You’re so quiet now.” You comment, feeling shy with the way he stares at you rather than your open pussy right in front of his mouth. “Say something.”
And within a single blink, his face is right up against yours, one hand still keeping your leg spread open, the other pinching your chin as he continues to stare.
“Let me have you.” 
You hear his words clearly this time, breath caught in your throat up until he kisses it out of you. He breathes you in deeply, trying to drown himself in all that is your life before what he will inevitably do. 
“Let me.” He pleads again, his eyebrows falling as if he’s in genuine pain to say it. 
Your arms reach around his neck, staring at him with so much confirmation in your eyes. You’d let him have anything he wants. Anything. 
And he groans at you, releasing your chin just to reach down to get his length out, appearing as though looking at you like this alone is enough to make him crumble to dust. He’s been aching this whole time too, since before he even left the cathedral. Borderline edging himself from both the pleasure of your body wrapped around him and the pleasure within you that would satiate his hunger just for a moment. 
He misses the feeling of you so badly. The warmth, the slide, the way you cling to him like nothing he could do would scare you. 
Just….one last time, he wants to feel warm. 
And he chases for the heat inside of you, sliding in without breaking eye contact, without waiting, without savoring it. 
It knocks the breath out of you again, forgetting just how cold it is when he settles in deep. So fucking deep. 
You wince in pain before moaning out to him, whispering his name in a drawn out sigh.
“Ah, my love,” He groans at your reaction, his hips immediately moving. “My pretty, pretty, love.”  Your walls hug him so perfectly, taking every inch with just a tiny wince.  “Will you still sound so lovely?”
You don’t understand the question, but you nod to him, wanting nothing more in this moment than to prove your worth to him. To please him. 
Such an insane woman, he thinks. Letting him take you and have you in whatever way he wishes. Whether living or dead, he truly believes every mindless nod you give to him. It’s clear, you’re just as deeply infatuated with him as he is with you.
Both of you would give and take happily, no matter what it is. 
And fuck he can feel your living pulse against him with each fast and torturous thrust, snapping his hips so quickly into you. He can’t help but fuck hard and with purpose. Slamming in and out with echoed slaps and mindless groans. 
Everything that you are could end him in an instant and all you can do is moan out for more. 
Oh, he gives it. Of course he does. He will give you anything. Everything. 
And it only becomes harder to resist when he kisses against your lips again, swallowing each moan of his name, exhaling it back out to you with the sound of your name. A mantra of two people, facing only death together and loving every heart-wrenching second of it. 
The cold within you flourishes with each sound in his throat, you squeeze around him, your legs hug against him, your arms wrap tightly against his neck as he kisses you. Your body can’t withstand the speed of his cock slamming into you for much longer without coming undone.
And he doesn’t stop, seemingly never growing tired. Up until he feels your body clench entirely around him, he clings back at you at the feeling, whispering handsome words and proud promises. 
“Already?” He grunted out first, hearing your blood rush and your muscles tense. “Ah, can hear it rushing through you, let it go, love.” 
And you do, you let it go despite wanting it to last longer. So, so much longer. 
He lends you a choked and inward groan at the way you react to his relentless thrusts, flexing his abs and pointing his cock as deeply into you as he can reach. And for the second time, Sunghoon feels the warmth of you spill over him. Prettier than the blood, your voice so, so, sexy choking out a string of curses just for his ears to adore.
“There you go.” He coos through it with his own groans, savoring every squeeze and squelch, adoring the sounds you make for him. 
And as he watches, he can’t help the feeling inside of him. Your heart is beating so fast through the pleasure only he can offer you, and he keeps doing it. Fucking you through the orgasm only to not stop after the fact either. 
It’ll be the last time he’ll ever feel heat like this on him. He can fuck any and every victim, but none will feel as good as you. Partially because you aren’t being manipulated, he has no hold on your mind right now. You’re not gripping and moaning because you’re in a daze, you’re doing it because you fucking want it.
God, having sex for the sake of sex is something he hasn’t done in a long time before you. Enjoying in the pleasure, fucking suffering through all of it. Truly, for him, if this is the last time your body will be warm, he’s going to take his goddamn time making sure you’re well aware of just how good you could have it if you let him keep you forever. Cold and dead, he’ll still love the feeling of your body.
So much that still, even with your orgasm dripping all over him, he pushes and he pushes. Thinking only of how he plans to drain you in more ways than once tonight. He can hold off for as long as he can with his own pleasure, because this alone is fucking bliss.
And he doesn’t care if he’s knocking the breath out of you, only because he knows that soon enough, you’ll never have to worry about breathing again.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
You’re unsure as to how long Sunghoon has been lying with you like this, but you were able to get a bit of rest against him. Even with your fingers feeling like ice wrapped up in his, you feel safe and at home here. 
Not because you are at home, but because he’s here with you. 
The night outside your window tells you that you’ve not been sleeping for long, but you can barely recall coming to your bedroom at all with him. He must have carried you here and cuddled himself up against you. 
You stir in his grasp, peeking an eye up at him. 
“You’ve rested enough?” Sunghoon smiles at you with saddened eyes, his pupils still blown and hair an absolute mess.  
You shift against him, turning to face him entirely. 
As he looks at you, all he can do is remind himself that he’s never considered fating someone with this curse until finding you. With your pretty jealous words and your intense need to have him take you out of this world all together. Never has he given the chance for another person to know him so deeply and have them react with only fondness and desire. 
This is his chance, isn’t it? To find forever? 
As monstrous as he is, he does still have desire. The feeling of loneliness isn’t meant to be grown accustomed to. For him at least. All of his fellow vampires have companions, and he swore he’d never do that to another person. 
Perhaps it’s because many of the vampires he has mingled with took their companions by force. He could see the disdain in their eyes, and that’s not something he thinks he could live with. But you don’t look at him like that. You slept soundly next to a man wanting to kill you. Actively struggling not to do it with each and every breath you take. 
And oh, since the start of his curse, the need to taste that last famed drop lured him to every meal he’s feasted on up until now. Such a delicious flavor, truly the best sensation running down his throat. To have you offer that last little sip to him? Ah, fuck.
 The feeling in his stomach flutters at the thought of turning someone for the first time. Knowing that someone will be you. Knowing that you wouldn’t be a companion filled with resentment and agony at your new life. 
It’s electrifying. Like his heart could beat again at any second because you truly make him feel like he’s never experienced death at all. Despite being surrounded by it, despite experiencing it himself, despite taking lives daily for thousands of years. 
It’s amazing to him, to love someone so much he’s willing to fate them with eternal thirst, congealed blood, glitter and gold, beautiful and ugly, accidental lures before intentional ones. 
Death.
Vile, cold, damp skin. Safe light of the moon, dust in the sun. The only threat is that of life itself.
Light. Sharp pointed dogwood stakes. Beheadings. 
But…a companion.
The life he could live with you, oh the joy that runs through him is far too beautiful. The forever life. Eternity. Living through it all, far surpassing the roaches and bacteria of this earth. With you. 
So many things you’ve forced him to understand. Loneliness, despair, want, need, envy. It’s been so long since he’s entertained petty mortal feelings, but you forced them into him and out of him. The only need he’s grown accustomed to was hunger and thirst. Never love, or warmth, or want. 
Oh, forever. The two of you could starve after draining every living soul. All it takes is for him to take that last gush of blood from you. 
Without the lure. Without the manipulation. 
Never would he perform the rite without your pleasant voice telling him to. Never would he want to spend eternity with a woman so luring who would want nothing more than to be the blade slicing through the bone in his neck. 
That legendary, utterly delicious, last drop of blood that he’s tasted so many times before. It’s different this time only because the blood isn’t for him and him alone now. He has to share it, and it pains him to know that none would taste quite like yours. 
The hardest part would be controlling his instinct of swallowing it instantly, rendering you dead and unmoving for the eternity he wishes to have you. 
A new feeling. 
Anxiety. 
Your death would be slow, a cold and dreary one, but it wouldn’t be lonely. He’d make sure you feel so good through it. He wouldn’t spill a drop. You’d be clean, avoiding a gruesome death otherwise. 
And time would be against him, because upon taking that last drop, he’d barely be able to savor it before continuing the rite. A final sip that he can’t even swallow. A final sip that must be fed to you. Blood leaving your veins only to slide down into your emptied stomach through dead lips.
There, a final exhale, and then forever inhales. 
You’d look so beautiful dying next to him. He’d hold you through it. 
Is fate so dreary in a moment like that? Where is he feeling something akin to love for the first time in lifetime after lifetime? Is he selfish to need you so badly? 
“You could have it all.” He inhales the words at your drowsy face nearing sleep again. The silence you lended after his last comment kept him in his head, and now he wants out of it. 
He hugs against you so tightly, trying to keep you awake despite knowing he likely fucked you too long and too hard.  Still, he wants to encourage a life with him for you. 
“I can give it all to you.”
You’re silent at his words as you listen to him. You soak them into your sleepy head and smile.
“Sunghoo-”
“I beg of you.” He answers for you, grabbing your face tightly and landing an immediate kiss against your lips. A deep kiss, one that…oh. He’s crying. 
You feel the cold wet hit your cheeks as he kisses. He does it before you can even move your own lips against him, but you do start to kiss him back. Your brows furrow in concern at this new emotion he’s showing to you, but your handles are gentle when you caress his cheeks through it. 
“Die for me.” He whispers through the kiss, trying not to let you pull back at the words. He knows now that you heard them loud and clear.
Oh.
Why is there nothing in this world that you want more?
“It’ll only hurt for a little while.” He tries to make it sound pretty with his soothing whispers, not yet realizing that he hasn’t cried in several centuries. “You’ll come back.”
“Are you asking me to–?” You breathe out for him, once, twice, and then never finish what you were trying to ask simply because he makes himself very clear.
“You can be like me, my love.” 
Your body pulses in fear, but the adrenaline hits you in all the right spots as you break eye contact to cling instead, this time shoving your nose up and against his neck. Wanting nothing more than this dead skin, needing nothing more than a man who wants to kill you. 
But Sunghoon doesn’t want to end you, no. He wants to keep you forever. 
And forever is different with Sunghoon. It’s never ending. 
Are you even prepared to never see an end? With the man whispering so sweetly to you? Absolutely. 
Would a split second decision like this ruin your life forever? What's forever anyway? When you have many lives to ruin and many more to deem a success if you choose to go with him. 
Die. Only to live forever? 
You nod once, then you shake your head. His arms wrap around you tightly at your indecisiveness. He’s content enough just knowing you’re considering it and truly, he’s trying to be patient. Waiting and well aware that the question is likely the hardest decision you’ll ever need to make. 
“I’ll beg again and again.” He whispers, feeling your panicked lips try to calm your breathing against his neck. Still, you’re clinging to him tightly and it makes him feel…happy. “I cannot fathom a death for you that’s not this. Forever gone from me.” 
You shake your head again, but then…you nod. 
“Will it hurt?” You ask, feeling your heart rate threaten to kill you before Sunghoon even gets the chance himself. 
“Tremendously.” He chuckles at the ignorance, though even he barely remembers the pain himself these days.
 “Only for a little while, darling. I told you.” He licks his lips, anticipating the blood running through you to run through him soon. The hunger is almost overcoming him now and if you don’t agree, he very well may end up killing you regardless.
And the thought pains him. 
If there was ever a time to hold himself back, it’s now.
“Don’t die without me here with you. Now or ever.” He continues in a sweet voice, trying to control the wavering breaks his throat is trying to force out of him. 
“Can I…” You stop yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. “Can I have a minute to think?” 
“Oh course,” He smiles to hide his frustration, pulling you back by your shoulders and sitting himself up against your bed. “But, the sun rises in three hours, and that’s three hours of fighting my urge to do it without your confirmation.”
You pause, finding comfort in the fact that he’s willing to suffer through your inevitable acceptance. There’s no way you’ll end up saying no to him, only because of how badly it hurt when you walked away from him. It rotted within you for weeks, and even when you thought you were better…all he had to do was stand outside your door to have you running to be in his arms.
What’s a bad decision when you could have lifetimes to make up for it? Even if said decision is what gives you those lifetimes. He’s asking for you to stay with him. To be with him. Isn’t that what you want?
But to die…
And you only cling to him through the fear, hoping he can save you from what he’s offering. He’s the comfort and the ultimate end. 
Or, perhaps, the ultimate beginning.
You’re not sure. You only found out vampires are real like two months ago. It’s not exactly something you can comprehend so quickly, but it is something you know you want more than anything if it means you can be next to Sunghoon. 
“Will it ease your fear if I talk about what it’s like to be me?” Sunghoon offers both a reason to give you insight, as well as distract his own mind during this moment of distress.
You nod immediately, hugging yourself so tightly to his side and trying to keep your nose up and against him simply because that brings you the most comfort. Smelling the faint cinnamon, feeling him against you. 
“I’m the first of my family to reside here, but I’ve been here for thirty years. Commoners aren’t aware as I try to remain hidden save for when I need to hunt.” He starts, continuing after hearing the way your heart calms. “But, city officials know very well who I am, and where I come from.” 
You listen, trying to take in his words as truth rather than fantasy. 
“I was born in seventeen thirty eight, overseas. Every few hundred years I’ll relocate simply because it becomes boring watching the same country grow and be destroyed. I ran from many wars, have lived many lives.” 
Oh. Okay.
“I know every language. I’ve lived every life you can imagine, worked every job you can think of to rid myself of boredom.” 
“So you weren’t always pretending to be a priest?” You try to make light of the fear within you, almost, somehow, wanting to snort at his choice of current lifestyle. 
“Ah, no.” He chuckles for you, rolling his eyes at how you mock him in the face of your own death. “I was a banker before this, I despised it. Only lasted about seven years before relocating here.”
A pause, you hear him chuckle. 
“I really despise numbers.”
In the calmness of his voice, within his gentle grasp, you feel comfortable. 
“Did you come for the cathedral?” 
He nods, holding you against him even tighter.
“History is protected, whether it be land, buildings, or people. It felt fitting to be a priest if I was to stumble inside parading as a drunken man needing a place to stay.” 
“How did you become, uh, what did she call you? Master?”
“Ah,” Another scoffed chuckle at your ignorance. “Did you believe them to be alive?” 
You freeze, body stiffening at the shock. They were fucking dead?! This whole time?!
“I slept in a cathedral full of fucking vampires?!” 
“You did.” He smiles. “But they are very well aware of what’s mine.”
He loves the way your face looks when you process words. He is more aware than you think of how insane all of this must sound to you. Yet, still, he has never truly lied to you. 
“They needed an order, so I brought that order. Thus, Master.” He smiles as he motions towards himself with you still in his grasp, as if he’s playfully boasting his own intelligence over the vampire-nuns. 
You pull back to look at him, feeling a bit calmer now in the way he describes countless lives and knowledge. You can’t experience any of that with the life you have right now. In fifty to sixty years you’ll be in an urn on your mother’s fireplace. 
Why would you want that when you could be in a bed with silk sheets? Or perhaps by then you’ll be able to travel elsewhere with Sunghoon, finding new beds with even softer sheets.
And only now do you realize that Sunghoon didn’t put you in danger at all. In fact, he knew he was dangerous and forced you to live. Even when you asked him to kill you. He…
Oh. Wow.
“Now, what is it, you think, that made you so special in regards to that woman you found me with? What is it, love? What do you believe kept me from ending your life to sustain my own?” And goddamn does it feel good to finally say it. Sunghoon loves the feeling of the words coming out of his mouth, finally spilling it all to you and seeing you only react with cheeky curiosity. 
“Why is that? Can you tell me?”
You’re silent as you think of his questions, unable to answer at all.  
“No…” You breathe out, knowing he can feel the hot breath against him only because his hand squeezes your waist. 
“I suppose after how long I’ve wandered this earth, even I am left with curiosities and questions too.” He smiles when he says it, thankful to know he hasn’t yet experienced everything there is. “I’d like to know why you have this hold on me too, darling.”
“Maybe it’s because I want it?” 
“Perhaps, yes. If you didn’t I likely would have savored every ounce of you already and for that, I should be thankful.” 
He shifts now, pressing you down against your bed and hovering over you with dark and sparkling eyes. His lips immediately go to your neck with the hunger he feels. Talking isn’t enough anymore. Holding you isn’t enough. He hasn’t eaten in days, and the fact that he could hold off even until now is strange to him. 
“Unlike many, you do not seek death–” He drags his lips against your skin, relishing in it. “You exist alongside it happily, you welcome it.” He continues to talk, his teeth now retracting against your skin and leaving little swollen scratches with each drag. “Perhaps had I not chosen to be a priest during this lifetime, you’d have already said yes.” 
“A singer? A dancer? Anything you wish for, I’ll become.” He smiles when he feels the goosebumps plump up under his teeth, and it’s so, so, hard not to bite. “So, won’t you stay? “
He listens so closely to your heart and breathing, nearly moaning at the need for it. 
“Watching you wither to death by anything other than my own teeth would surely have me seekinga dogwood.” 
Ah, so the fantasy movies and novels aren’t all wrong? So strange, truly, that he lives in a cathedral of crosses made from the very wood that could kill him. 
“We could be anything, go anywhere, dine on meals you merely taste but never need.”
He nods his head against your skin, hoping you’ll nod along with him, knowing that you will. 
“You could be mine, forever.” 
You’ve accepted him already, you just haven’t said so yet. He doesn’t mind sweet talking you though, reminding you of everything he can and will provide.
And to you, every single word he mutters is pretty, and everything you could ever need or want is right here. 
“I could be yours, forever.”
“I think–” You breathe out, hands now reaching up to scratch through his hair. “there is nothing I could want more than this.”
And the moment he gets that final word of confirmation out to you, he bites. The words you mutter drive him to it. He couldn’t even kiss you in appreciation simply because his instinct takes over. He lets go. 
Finally, he can let go. 
The need to control himself is no longer here, and it feels astounding. 
The sting is deep and it rings within you so loudly that you could hear the puncture vibrate your brain. Your ears burn at the direct puncture, and already you can feel his hands bracing you through it. As if he knows he’s never bitten you so deep in your pulse point like this. 
But the intention behind it somehow feels better than anything you’ve ever experienced. This is what you were jealous of and now you can only agree with your past self. There was good reason to be jealous of feeling this from him. Except, unlike that woman, he’s holding you through it. He’s grunting against your neck and swallowing large portions of your blood as the seconds pass. Losing himself with you. Almost as if he’s dying with you.
And he drinks, and drinks, and drinks, to the point your toes are feeling the sleep overtake them, then your legs, all the way up and down your body until your fingers are too weak to keep gripping against the locks of hair on the back of his neck.
You feel his fingers soothe you through the weakness when he pulls back, keeping his promise of not wasting a single drop. There is no blood smeared on him, only a trace of it on his inner lips as he watches your weakened expressions. 
He isn’t intentionally draining you so quickly, but…fuck. The blood. That glorious scent and taste was already too much to bear, but now? Knowing he gets all of it save for the best and final sip? He genuinely can’t help it. Controlling himself now after how long he’s held back? 
Darling, you asked for this. 
And his body reacts in aroused euphoria. Already he feels an orgasm bubble up just witnessing you die for him. Even then, he barely feels the heightened pleasure because the mind, dead or not, simply cannot comprehend the pure potent pleasure he’s experiencing.
He spills out all over himself, while you spill out for him. Your life, your very being. 
How can he not be terribly, horrifyingly, utterly stupendously in love with you? 
“My love, the light in your eyes will come back soon.” He smiles as he watches what happens to you through this, and then throws his head back in manic pleasure with a deep and animalistic moan. Arguably, even his eyes hold more life than yours right now. 
So, so beautiful. 
You’re too weak to speak, but you shake your head. Nothing is a pain to lose, nothing except him. 
And you find comfort in the way he sinks his teeth right back into those puncture marks. Sucking more and more out of you with a content smile on his face. He doesn’t think he could ever feel happier, knowing you’re giving him everything, and he wants nothing more than to return the favor to you.
Oh, how he wishes it were you sucking the life out of his veins. You’d be so gentle, you’d look so pretty losing your mind like he is right now. 
You continue to feel your body grow numb, up to the point that your heart rate slows at the loss of blood. To the point you can tell he’s sucking harder and harder just to get more. You feel a weight shift inside of your body, it writhes and chokes every inch of your innards. 
Shrivelling, spiraling, cramping. 
If you could curl in on yourself right now, you would, but you’re too weak even for that. You can’t even twitch a finger against Sunghoon at this moment as you feel everything within you dehydrate and search for life. 
It hurts. 
Badly. So badly that at this moment, you can’t remember a single thing that has ever felt good. In fact, everything is painful. Life is painful and horrifyingly full of things that will hurt you. But–Sunghoon is here. That much, you still recognize. Even through the pain, and even through the twisting inside of you, he remains constant. He’s soothing you through it well past the comprehension of your dying brain. 
You can’t shiver at the loss of warmth, but you do try to take a breath. Working your weak body to near exhaustion just at the act of trying to expand your lungs. And oh, you can’t even open your eyes at the way the last breath doesn’t come. You must have lost it already. 
And then, darkness. 
Nothing. 
And it feels like this for an eternity. Nothing to see, nothing to feel, nothing to fear or love. 
Absolutely fucking nothing. And to think humanity has built governments off promised afterlifes? To think anything ever mattered in the first place? The emptiness soothes and relieves your still working soul, wisping in the darkness for eternities more it seems. 
To the point names and faces leave you, and all you can think, feel, or hear is that of unfilled space and pure, deafening, silence. You cannot feel content, or peace, or happiness here. You just feel nothing. And it truly feels good to be nothing. 
Until there's warmth. You feel it somewhere hugging you, or perhaps inside of you? Do you even have a body to hold warmth now within this vast void of darkness? Why do you hear…?
Feelings come back to you tenfold. Seemingly experiencing everything you’ve ever felt and lived through all at once. That deafening silence becomes louder, louder, louder, until– it flourishes in the pit of your belly.
So much chaos within you. Swirling and bubbling in such a way that it fucking blooms in this darkness. You feel like you’re burning, freezing, dying, living, fucking drowning all at once. 
That flourish forces the nothingness out of you. As comfortable as this place is, there is nothing and you want something. You need something. You crave…something.
A little dribble running down your throat leaving a trail of warm, blooming heat. As if you just swallowed a sun-ray itself. Only now can you feel your body again enough to know where the heat is coming from. It blossoms within you, increasing each sense within your body tenfold. 
It doesn’t hurt. 
Only now do you recognize that it’s silent again, as if you were slammed into a wall by the force of the god you now know does not exist. You feel yourself restrict under skin, you feel cold, you feel…heavy. 
And the silence is still too loud to be so restricted. You miss the sounds of what you must have unintentionally listened to every waking moment of your life. The only true soundtrack of a living, loving, and heat-radiating being. 
No heart-beat. No whirring of blood. No rumbling in your stomach. Nothing.
And yet still, it doesn’t hurt. 
Just a bouquet in the pits in your belly. Your precious life, all summed up in that single diluted sip of blood. 
And somehow, someway, you regain your strength faster than it took for you to lose it. You open your eyes on instinct and the world is glowing. Sunghoon is glowing. As lifeless as you are, and as empty as your brain is at this moment, you reach out to him immediately.
But he has yet to let go of you since all of this started. He stayed. He held you, just like he said he would. 
“Did it hurt badly?” Sunghoon calls out to you, helping your mind awaken again. 
He barely remembers the pain he went through when it happened to him. Truly, pain is so temporary, so meaningless to indulge but, the curiosity still sits with him. 
After watching you for upwards of two hours to both die and come back to life, he can’t help but wonder if it was anything like what he experienced. 
Even with that curiosity though, seeing you open your eyes for the first time in your new life fills Sunghoon with overwhelming glee. To the point he feels like a child, wanting to ask so many questions, thoughts shifting from this, to that, up until all his thoughts run together and all he can do is squeeze you in his grasp. 
He’d have pulled down the stars if he could just so it could be your first view of the afterlife with him. But alas, he couldn’t step away even for a moment. He needed to be with you, not just for your sake, but his own. 
You’re cold now, but oh, the blood within him could satiate him for hundreds of years. It’s gone from you now, and he fears not missing it. Not when you’re here. Not when you chose to be here with him. 
You weakly nod to him, amazed at being able to do it again. Already the pain you’d previously felt feels like a long lost memory as you stare back at him. 
“I’m sorry.” He smiles through the apology, unable to pretend he means the words at all. “I didn’t intend to drain you so quickly. My poor love, you must have felt miserable.” 
You nod again, feeling him so tightly against you.
Only just realizing that he’s holding you. Your body, it’s coming back to you. You can feel sensations again. 
“I feel–” Your voice cracks with a dry throat and you inhale.
On instinct, you try to exhale but your throat just gets drier and drier. 
“I–”
Sunghoon coos, shushing you with a gentle kiss. Lending you his own saliva because if there’s one thing he can remember, it’s the act of learning how to…not breathe. 
“Slowly, love, slowly.” He smiles when he pulls back, watching you swallow around his gift and instantly droop your eyes again. 
“You’ve only just died and you have all the time in this world to speak, no need to do it now.” 
And he’s right. You’re spinning, yet balanced. Fuzzy yet smooth. You are everything and nothing at this moment with your glowing after-death aroma. Sunghoon smiles, cradling the back of your head. 
Finally, he’s gotten to drink you in full. No true death, and he feels more elated than he ever expected. Almost lulled to sleep at the scent of you disappearing. Never will he taste your blood again, but you. He has you now. Knowing you had a taste at all is enough. Knowing that he has broken for you enough to beg you.
To beg you to die for him just to be with him on a level deeper than thirst. 
Never once has he wanted someone like this.
And never once had he expected you to agree with him. 
The moment is sweet with him, and still you’ve yet to comprehend the truth reality of your life now. You know at least, that it could take longer than you’d have had previously to figure it out. You did this to be with someone, and that someone is right here next to you. Smiling, clinging, seemingly ecstatic to know he’s no longer alone. 
A forever companion, truly this time. 
And as sweet as the moment is, time still moves even after becoming ageless. 
“The sun will rise soon,” Sunghoon hums at your reluctant gaze at the window. “Shall we go home?”
You would nod. Truly, you would, if it weren’t for that suffocating scent entering your nose. 
Roses? No, tulips?
Lavender? 
Your belly pangs, a dry and itchy feeling overtaking your entire being. To the point that Sunghoon clinging to you can’t even calm the itch. The world stops at the scent, so strong and sweet. 
Sunghoon smells it too though, and he knows. He’s experienced it time and time again, though he’s long since learned how to control it, clearly. He purses his lips in frustration. You’ve only just come back, and he’d very much like to get you home with him so that you can learn and grow accustomed to this life. You need to realize that you haven’t even experienced the hardest part yet. 
Disappearing. 
After all, his intention was to hunt for you, teach you, comfort you. There’s so much to do now that the deed is done, and he hadn’t prepared for interruptions such as this.
Unfortunately, he knows very well the thirst. You won’t be able to control it, especially considering he knows this scent too. He has to force himself to try and lend you alluring words, but they seem to go through one ear and out the other. 
Your brain is empty at the scent. 
“Ah, what a turn of events.” He tics his tongue with a smile. “I smell him too.”
Your eyes do not reach Sunghoon at all, but he understands. Even with the jealousy in his gut. 
A key clicking into a lock, a turn of the knob. The sound is amplified in your ears along with the scent. 
“Wake up and help me unload all this shit!” 
Oh, what a shame. 
You really loved Jungwon. 
“Can you smell it flowing through him?” Sunghoon smiles at the light in your eye now, endeared by the way scent ignites you entirely. As envious of Jungwon as he is to hold certain parts of you when he couldn’t do it himself, seeing the way you react arouses him beyond belief. 
Your first feeling of thirst. 
“Shall I greet him?” 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jungwon peers at the stoic figure that appeared from your bedroom. His first thought is that he’s going to kick your fucking ass because number one, this better not be who he thinks it is. And number two–
There is no number two. A mere three seconds after stepping into his new home with you, his mind goes fuzzy. Thinking only of you, of needing to see you, of needing to make sure you’re okay. 
He wants to know if you slept well, and if you were able to have any sweet dreams without him here. 
“Jungwon, I take it?” Sunghoon lends him a lively smile, impressed by the pull you unintentionally lay on the guy. 
“Ah, yeah.” Jungwon weakly scratches the back of his neck before feeling his body move on its own. “Where is she? I need to see her.” 
It’s a pity, really, but Sunghoon has seen it time and time again with his own victims. A weak mind, one that is easily broken and even easier to lure. It’s kind of cute really, seeing how breathing humans cling to what balances them. 
He almost feels bad for taking you from Jungwon, but he doesn't only because he hates that he has to see you drink from someone you were attached to. He knows it’ll hurt you when you realize, and he no longer wants to see you hurt after witnessing your death.
As beautiful as it was. 
Jungwon truly chases you, stepping through the apartment and dropping everything in his hands without care. He heads straight to your room, swallowed in a somber smile and a welcome scent. One that he doesn’t know is death.
“Wonnie.” You rasp sweetly. “Come here.” 
There’s no reluctance within him, even upon hearing Sunghoon close the door behind him and lock it. Even when the man looms at the door, watching, narrowing his eyes at you in jealousy. 
You ignore it as you grow enamored with Jungwon at this moment. Is this what his life smells like? So pretty, it truly fits him. 
And it drowns out all of your thoughts. The flowers, like a fresh spring day with no worry. You think it’s your favorite smell in the world as you inhale him with each step he takes toward you. 
For Jungwon, even upon feeling you grip his shirt, pulling him closer than he’s ever been to you without the excuse of comfort, he pays no mind. He missed this bubble he shared with you, the single night with his sister almost felt like agony to be away from you.
After all, the love he holds for you is truly deeper than romance. There is no need for any physicality between the two of you, yet…he welcomes it at this moment. In fact, he’s entirely aroused, stiffening in his pants at the sheer blissful anxiety your uncanny smile and shining eyes lend to him. 
Did you truly miss him so much? 
“You look so pretty…” He trails off, closing his eyes as he feels you caress his warm cheeks. “Your hands are so cold, let me—ah” 
You’ve never felt an instinct quite like this. You could truly hear it, the pulse of his heart. You can still smell his sweet scent, and you truly weren’t in control of your own body when you gripped him, lifted, and sank your teeth right against his pulse point. 
Jungwon moans at the bite, drifting off entirely at first contact. 
All while Sunghoon continues to loom. Watching with weight in his pants. The way you bite so messily, spilling blood and wasting it as it trickles down Jungwon’s throat. The small sounds your mouth makes as you suck has him throbbing non-stop, to the point he almost needs to hold onto something just to keep from jumping on you, just to keep from tasting Jungwon himself.
And, oh, his pretty love, you have so much to adapt to. 
It appears he does as well. 
As he watches the furrow of your brows at the first taste falling to that of relief and pleasure as you drink, and you drink, and you drink, until–
Sunghoon smirks now, quirking his brow at how you stop yourself before he needs to step in and separate the two of you. In all honesty, he was unsure if he’d be able to give in and stop you either. After all, killing Jungwon now would prove easier than letting him live.
The fact that you stopped yourself though. Perhaps your mind grew more stubborn and strong-willed through death. He nearly cannot believe that you aren’t draining the man dry right now. 
And you aren’t even sure yourself why you do. The feeling in your gut is full and satiated, but the grip Jungwon has on you only grows more and more limp. You love the way he clings as much as the taste, and even through his slumber, he clinged so tight. 
Not so much now though, and that scared you. So, you let go. 
If only because truly, you do love Jungwon. Enough to no longer pull him into your messes despite forcing him to become one at this moment. What’s even more scary is though, even with all of the endearment you held towards him in life, the feeling is only amplified now. These new bitter and floral scents pulsing through him makes you want to protect him from any leech wanting to drink it out of him.
Even if you’re the leech. 
Ah, he tasted like honey suckle, and it dropped down your throat like honey too. Warm, gentle, pretty. Just like him. 
And you have to continue to keep yourself from sinking your teeth into him. Your stomach is greedy, wanting more, but too in love with the life he has and willingly wanted to share with you as a best friend and forever comfort. 
Forever for Jungwon is nothing but a moment to you now, but it’s one you hope he enjoys, at least. 
And when you hold him against you, so weak and sound asleep, you look at Sunghoon. The tears fall so, so, cold against your cheeks. The heightened senses within you become overwhelming with the horrifying silence and intense smell of floral blood wafting through your nose. 
“Much like you, he won’t remember. You lured him deeply, love, did you know that? He was asleep from the moment he saw you.” 
You pause, nodding as the tears continue to fall. 
“Brilliant.” He compliments now, moving to hold you as you cling to Jungwon. 
“Sunghoon, did my blood taste like that?” 
Sunghoon kisses you once, sucking Jungwon’s blood from your tongue. 
“Ah,” He chokes. “Absolutely not.”
You pause at his scrunched nose. 
“You were much sweeter.” He whispers sweetly, fondly, tilting his head to kiss against you again, licking the mess of Jungwon’s blood from your lips, chin, and neck. Still, he chokes it down. “I’ll miss it.”
“What did it taste like?” Your weak and dry voice falters repeatedly, but you need to speak right now.
“You tell me.” 
You only slightly remember the flavor as you were brought back. Warm, blooming, spicy, sickeningly sweet. 
“I have never tasted anything compared to it…” 
“Exactly.” Sunghoon smiles, inhaling deeply and lending no breath against your skin when he scrapes his teeth there. “Like the sun.” He hums, nosing down to your neck and inhaling again, arms only slightly trying to push Jungwon out of your grasp. “Like the one thing that could get me killed.” 
You cling tightly to your best friend though, not wanting any more harm to come to him. Still, you stare at Sunghoon’s sweet words, finding yourself smiling at all that is to be gained rather than lost. 
Your life. The light outside, the light in your eyes, the warmth. 
Not Jungwon though. 
“You don’t intend to leave him be, no?” Sunghoon furrows a brow at how your face rises for him, but falls instantly at inhaling Jungwon’s blood. 
You frantically shake your head. 
“We’ll figure something out, love.” He says now, looking away from you and doing his best to ignore the envy that fills him time and time again when this floral-boy is near. 
He told you he’d do anything for you, give anything to you. 
If that includes Jungwon….
Ah, always so fucking stubborn. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The sun rises and falls. 
Repeatedly, for months. 
Jungwon wakes himself with the warm sun hitting his face, the bed just as warm from his own body heat. He loves this space, and adores the way that even if it’s only him, he never feels lonely with that pretty smell in the air. 
Every morning when he wakes up, and every night before he goes to bed.
The shock of learning the inevitable still hurts him from time to time, but still, he smiles with that dimple you threatened you’d steal right off his face if he chose not to show it to you. 
His hand reaches to his neck, the single wound you gave him and apologized profusely for after. It’s healed well.
And when his phone vibrates in the middle of the day, he wonders why you’re awake. 
You: wonnie
Wonnie: wat
You: come over
Wonnie: was wondering why you were trying so hard. nearly suffocated this morning. 
You: and you were fighting it? asshole
Wonnie: be over in a few, stinky
And as strange as it is, Sunghoon doesn’t mind that you wouldn’t let Jungwon go. After several conversations needing reassurance that you’re not trying to spend your forever elsewhere, anyway.
Really, to think you’d die for him but want someone else? Sunghoon truly is insane, but so are you. 
And it works. 
Because Jungwon loves insanity, even if he hates Sunghoon with a passion. Even if he can only see you with Sunghoon in the room too. Even if you’re dead. 
You’re still his best friend, and he doesn’t mind helping you disappear as long as it’s not from him. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
not me accidentally making this a sunghoon ft.jungwon fic. 
Fanart by @a-the-na 🖤🖤🖤🖤
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twilightkitkat · 3 months ago
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Poolverine but they dress up as each other for Halloween. I'm not just talking about swapping costumes—they go all in. They get those facial prosthetics to get each other's skin textures right, Wade goes in with makeup for detailing, and Wade wears a bodysuit while Logan wears slight platform shoes and shapewear to roughly match their builds.
They put on each other's suits and make sure the proportions are as accurate as possible. Wade even goes as far as to call in a few favors to get voice-changing abilities.
Then, Halloween, they pretend to be each other. They try to match each other's personalities and mannerisms and see if anyone can notice.
At first, you'd think it'd be obvious that they switched. But here's the thing: they know each other. Wade knows how Logan moves and talks and acts and fights. Logan knows how to predict Wade's moods and reactions and decisions. They're incredibly self-aware and in sync.
They both show up to their friend's Halloween party dressed as each other. The crowd is incredibly large because everyone invited all the people that they know, which includes Vanessa's new friends and the majority of the X-mansion.
The only person who knew off the bat was Laura. There was no hiding it from her with her sense of smell, but they didn't intend to. She was in on the joke and came to watch the shitshow in action.
When asked about their costume, "Wade" says that Deadpool is what all the kids want to dress up as for Halloween, and he was just following the trend! Besides, no need to waste money buying a costume when he has the best one right in his closet. He's the scariest to be, obviously, because Deadpool is such a fearsome name.
Logan matches Wade's pitch immaculately, curling his voice into a whine before going back to talking cheerily as if nothing happened. Nobody bats an eye, classic Wade behavior.
Any slight imperfections are hidden by the flashing lights and relaxed atmosphere and large crowd. It's hard to pick out their friends in a crowd, let alone tell the differences between their carefully crafted copycat plans.
Laura gets closer to "Logan" and asks him how "Wade" has been lately, playing along. He responds with a grunt and an exasperated but fond summary of Wade's newest hyperfixation, acting as if he didn't know any of the terminology for it.
She has to hide a shit-eating grin when some of the people who knew Logan from the X-mansion came up to greet him and ask him how he's been. Plan successful.
"Logan" reaches out and pats a few heads, lingering just long enough to show he cares but pulling away soon enough to avoid deep intimacy. He answers questions with the same gruff tone as the actual Logan, giving just enough information to satisfy their questions.
Miraculously, the night continues and they haven't been caught. This is quite frankly hilarious because the two had done their rounds with each other's friends and acquaintances and apparently knew enough about each other to answer accurately. It's a pretty big feat, and even Laura has to reluctantly admit she's impressed by how well they know each other to pull this off.
The two draw together near the end, bickering as usual and using each other's tactics. Wade has to stifle a giggle at Logan imitating his out to not break character, and Logan has to hold himself back from burying his face in his hands out of embarrassment.
The real challenge is when Vanessa comes in to greet "Wade," with her new boyfriend in tow. Because Logan knows how Wade should act: vaguely uncomfortable and awkward, cagey toward the new guy, with an undertone of yearning and regret.
He knows this, but it stings. It hurts to know that while Wade and him are living together, a part of Wade will always belong to Vanessa. He knows it's irrational and that he's the main person in Wade's life, but the thought of them together makes him feel vaguely nauseous.
But he promised Wade he'd try to do this with him. They'd made bets and everything about who would find out and who wouldn't. He didn't want to ruin his fun.
So Logan grits his teeth and shifts into character, acting a little tense but also relieved to see her. Acting a bit more closed off and tense when the new guy introduces himself, and a little embarrassed to be seen with "Logan." Guilty, almost, like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't.
But Vanessa's expression isn't remorseful or awkward. Instead, she raises an eyebrow, crosses her arms, and asks him what's wrong. Tells him that something's clearly bothering him and that he knows he can come to her for anything.
Logan becomes confused. What was he doing wrong? Was he not giving her the "puppy dog eyes" convincingly enough? Was he not portraying the bittersweet feeling of seeing "the one who got away" well?
But then she asks him if he and "Logan" were fighting. If something was going wrong in their relationship for him to act so cagey and upset.
...And Logan is baffled. What the hell does them fighting have to do with this?
Until she continues. She tells him that she knows how much "Logan" means to him and that she knows Logan feels the same (it's obvious just in the way he looks at Wade), so she's sure they'll figure it out soon.
She chuckles and shakes her head and says that it's endearing how Wade constantly talks about Logan as if he's the only topic in the world. That she's glad he's happy and that she remembered him asking to meet her boyfriend at some point so he could "rate her taste." She pats his shoulder, placatingly, and tells him that she's always there to talk if anything happens. Then she leaves.
And oh.
Logan thought he had Wade's personality down to a science, that he knew almost everything about him. His thoughts, his feelings, his relationships. ...But apparently, he was wrong for once.
Then he takes a second to stand there and analyze his interactions with Wade. And he realizes that she was right. That Wade glancing constantly back at him when Vanessa was there wasn't awkward pining for his ex, but just Wade wanting to look at Logan.
Now that he thinks about it, Wade doesn't just do that around Vanessa. He did it around almost everyone. He'd intermittently glance at Logan with what he assumed to be embarrassment over him, but now he realizes it was endearment. Awe. Bashfulness and slight pride over getting to introduce Logan to his friends instead of being ashamed of him.
And Logan realized that maybe he didn't know everything about Wade. That maybe, some of his assumptions were based more on his own experiences and past rather than the present. That he let his jealousy and insecurity and anxiety cloud his interpretation until it became foggy, creating the same rough shape but without the structure.
...And Logan smiles, under the mask. A warm, incredulous thing. That Wade spent most of his time with Vanessa talking about him. That it was so obvious Wade loved him that everyone commented on it. He'd never had someone be proud of belonging to him before, showing him off like he was something worth coveting. It felt nice.
Eventually, he rejoined "Logan's" side. He sidled up to him and threw an arm around his shoulder, throwing out a flirty comment and cuddling closer. "Logan" let him, letting his shoulder slump and wrapping an arm around him in return.
"Wade" stared at "Logan," watching his expressions shift and the curve of his lips as they moved. He let the adoration and wonder swell up in him, seeing how accurately Wade played the part.
It was obvious that he was staring, but nobody batted an eye. They all accepted it as normal, as if it was perfectly in character for Wade to stare at Logan with full focus even while people flitted and talked around them.
When Logan leaned in to kiss Wade's shoulder, nobody said anything.
(They manage to make it through the night without anyone calling them out on their impersonation. When they reveal it the next day, everyone is shocked. It was so realistic that they couldn't even tell.
Well, almost everyone is shocked. Laura rolls her eyes and Vanessa hides a knowing smile behind the rim of her coffee cup.)
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cyberm4n · 11 months ago
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HI I LOVED UR HYPERSEXUAL FEM READER HEADCANONS UR WRITING IS SO GOOD
Soo I'm here to request the vees (mainly vox but idc) x hypersexual Fem reader pleasee 😭🙏
if not that's okay and I hope you have a nice day/night!! feel free to delete this lol
-xoxo, Ari
THANK YOU <3333 i love the vees and ive been looking for an excuse to write them so this is perfect
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vees with hypersexul reader
going with the same scenario as last time- you've just finished a round and (char) is spent but you're already ready to go again
《— vox —》
■ he seems like a 2 rounds kinda guy so after that second round and yall are just laying there he is SPENT
■ so when you roll over to lay on his chest like "one more time?" with a little smile on your face, as if yall did not just violently fuck it takes him a moment
■ he's spent, so spent. but he really wants to please you
■ he'd get used to it tbh. like he's mentally prepared everytime now but maybe sometimes he can do a round 3
■ he'd resort to toys i think, only the best for his girl <3
■ there's also something he loves about getting to hold you and watch you writhe in pleasure and he just gets to watch
■ he'd always take your preferences into mind with toys too. like if you want smth specific he's got it for you
■ i feel like he might prefer if yall are spent at the same time so the foreplay goes CRAZY
■ like it's not just foreplay it's actual rounds of getting you to cum before the main event yk
■ or sometimes he'll just ask if it'd be okay to be done for the night when he is
■ he doesn't mind either way but he'd definitely want to communicate about it
■ so yeah it might take him a little bit to adjust bit he'd be just fine!
《— valentino —》
■ okay let's be real this man fucks A LOT so he can probably do like. 3 or 4 lengthy rounds before he's tapped out
■ it's making me giggle about it but like okay val is a kinky guy, and like especially if the first time yall do anything it's a little bit rougher he is SHOCKED when you're down for more
■ he's prly into something like overstim where normally you kinda gotta reel from it after so when he's done and it takes you like. a minute or two to be like "do you wanna do it again?" he judt looks down at you so confused
■ he takes a moment, blinking. he'd definitely ask if you're kidding or smth and then finding out you're not he has to take a moment
■ like, he finds it fucking awesome but jesus christ he's finally met hsi match
■ he might use toys on you or go down on you, depends how he's feeling tbh
■ i think he'd lean towards going down on you, idk he just seems like he'd be a bit of a munch.
■ and if you're okay with it when yall fuck in the future he's constantly just seeing how far you can go before you're spent
■ long story short he's totally chill abt it when he gets used to it and thinks it's fucking great
《— velvette —》
■ okay im literally giggling and kicking my feet while typing this
■ she seems like a 2 or 3 round kind of gal
■ idk femxfem sex doesn't really go in rounds ime but like. yk.
■ so after she's spent, she's like so ready to cuddle up and sleep. but then you're caressing her cheek, nuzzling into her neck. "again?" you murmur and she has to take a moment
■ cause like, she's just super surprised you're still ready for another.
■ she'd ask the most questions abt it. like she'd want to just know more so she can support you better
■ she'd go down on you tho! anytime! she definitely has toys but she seems like the type to be more inclined to eat you out
■ if she gets tired of that she'd use a toy on you. but she stays engaged the whole time, super attentive.
■ she's a service switch so like getting to keep you pleased like this makes her feel good and she doesn't mind at all
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■ once again, all of them would embrace it and they do not mind at all!
■ if you guys with the poly hc for the vees i think it just makes it so much better for them to know it's really hard to burn you out
■ i loved this request ty <3
taglist: @reaper-of-light-12 @mxxny-lupin @wisteria-songs @t3llas @concentratedconcrete @pansexual-opera-house @dionysusismypatrongod
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vamphoonie · 6 months ago
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nsfw alphabet park sunghoon x afab reader ⭑ warnings dom!sunghoon, mentions of rough sex, stomach touching, slight belly bulge, breeding, pregnancy mention, unprotected sex, protected sex, oral sex, love making, bath sex, mentions of face and pussy slapping, spanking, vibrators, mentions of reader wearing makeup and sunghoon being a perv
put your age in your bio or you’ll be blocked. / por favor, pon tu edad en tu bio.
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ཐི⋆ཋྀ a is for aftercare what are they like after sex?
sunghoon gets a bit sleepy after sex, but his main priority is always you. especially in times where you may have had a more intense scene than usual. no matter what, he always makes sure to get a damp cloth and wipe the mess from the inside of your thighs - the gross mixture of his saliva, your wetness, and cum - before he pulls you in for a cuddle. the two of you can take a bath after you regain your energy.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ b is for body part their favorite body part of yours.
he loves your tummy. he loves to watch the way it slightly bulges at the bottom when he’s deep inside you, even goes as far as to press his palm to the bulge, pushing your hips down and making you feel him even deeper. this is usually what starts his desire to breed you and stuff you full of his cum, imagining how pretty you’d look with your growing belly when he is successful in doing so.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ c is for cum anything to do with cum basically.
he’s a clean guy. he doesn’t like to make too much of a mess, so he would mostly cum inside the condom, or inside you if you let him hit it raw. if he feels like it’ll be a particularly messy night, like when he has the desire to eat you out until his jaw hurts, he’ll place a towel down under your hips to soak up any mess made.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ d is for dirty secret a dirty secret of theirs.
sunghoon secretly, or not so much, has a corruption kink. he never explicitly states it, but he likes the way your innocent eyes beg him to do everything for you. from when you’re out shopping and you ask him to briefly step inside the fitting room with you to zip up a dress, or when you ask him to hold your bags, or tie your shoes, or even so much as to reach something he purposely put on the highest shelf of your home so you have to ask him to get it down when you need it. he likes when you are essentially helpless and need him in your daily life to do everything for you.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ e is for experience how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?
i don’t think he’s very experienced at all, actually. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he’s doing. he’s a pretty reserved guy, meaning he doesn’t get in bed with just anyone. he’s a devoted man, and when he loves you, he’ll do anything and everything it takes to please you. from treating you like royalty to taking his time to explore your body and find out all of the little things that make your eyes roll back and your toes curl.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ f is for favorite position this includes an illustrated link.
#11. he could spend hours between your legs like this. he loves to do this when you’ve been very obedient, eating your pussy with purpose while you arch your back, pushing your hips toward his face as you play with your own tits.
#313. he loves the intimacy of being able to look into each others eyes during sex. he’s surrounded by you; your hands are draped over him, your legs squeezing around his waist, and he’s able to lean over and look at your face. he loves to watch your face contort in pleasure as you struggle to keep your eyes open, watching him and his own reactions.
#493. sometimes, sunghoon likes to show off his strength. he doesn’t live in the gym for nothing—he does it so he’s able to show off and hold you close while he’s balls deep inside you. he loves to hoist you up by your thighs, using his pure muscle strength to bounce you up and down on his cock (and his core strength to not double over in pleasure, because you feel so good wrapped around him.)
#316. on nights that he’s a bit rougher in bed, whether it’s because he needs to release some tension in his body or you asked for it, he likes to go for this position. the pillow under your hips angles you just right for him to hit that sweet spot inside you, and he likes to use your hair as leverage to arch your back more for him. he loves how it gets you moaning louder, unable to contain your sounds.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ g is for goofy are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.
i think he sees sex as an act of love, so he tends to take it pretty seriously. if he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t be sleeping with you, so he would appreciate if you took it to heart the way he did as well. sex, to him, is a way to prove your loyalty and devotion to one another through your physical connection. he’s not quite the type to have casual sex.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ h is for hair how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.
again, he’s a clean and neat guy. he also thinks appearance is important. at the very least, he is closely trimmed. he doesn’t like to seem unkempt and unclean with long, thick hair on his pelvic bone. he either trims the hair there closely or removes it completely, and his balls absolutely are rid of hair.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ i is for intimacy how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect?
he is the king of romance during sex. as i mentioned before, he sees sex as a way to prove your love to someone. most times, unless you request a specific sort of scene, he is romancing you and making you feel like you are the only person to ever exist. his full focus is on you, leaving no parts of your body untouched or unloved. you will feel his love surrounding you (and deep inside of you.)
ཐི⋆ཋྀ j is for jack off masturbation headcanon.
he doesn’t jerk off often. he has an insane deal of self control, to the point that he can and will wait until he sees you again. he doesn’t want to waste his sexual energy on something so selfish to him. he’d much rather save the moment of release for you, wants to share his pleasure with you.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ k is for kink one or more of their kinks.
edging ── when i say that he likes to draw things out and make it last longer, that involves some edging for the both of you. he likes to build up just until one (or both) of you are just about to cum, then dial it back to leave you breathless at the loss of your almost-orgasm, just to do it again until you can’t hold it any longer.
sensation play ── he likes to stimulate all of your senses, and for his to be stimulated too. feeling his touch all over your body, seeing how blissed out you look, hearing each other’s sounds like music to your ears, tasting each other on your tongue when he kisses you, and smelling each other’s natural musk as your bodies are pressed together in an act of love and pleasure.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ l is for location favorite places to do the do.
he’s not one for spontaneity, so places such as the bed or the bath are his go-to locations. something about the plush mattress and soft sheets beneath you, you looking up at him with doe eyes full of desire and love, or the intimacy of being pressed nakedly against one another in a warm bath that he’d run for you is his favorite.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ m is for motivation what turns them on, gets them going?
he’s a sucker for domestic moments. if he wandered into the kitchen, seeing you in his clothes, attempting to make the both of you a meal, he’s done for. or cuddling on the sofa, watching a movie together. if you massage his shoulders after a long day at work, chest pressed against his back as you whisper sweet nothings and praises in his ear, he’ll be ready to flip you over and press deep into you.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ n is for no something they wouldn’t do, turn offs.
he absolutely will not do anything that will cause you physical harm. you might could get away with some light face slapping or pussy slapping as stimulation, maybe even some spanking if you’ve been misbehaving, but that’s as far as he will go. he is not going to intentionally cause you any pain or suffering; he loves you too much.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ o is for oral preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.
his main focus is you, your pleasure, and what you want. he could probably live without blowjobs, but if you want to give him one, who is he to deny his lover? that being said, he 100% prefers to give you head instead. it brings him pleasure to have you moaning, whining, rutting your hips up into his face as his tongue languidly strokes your swollen clit. he’s good at making you want more, dragging out your pleasure and slowly building up your orgasm. he likes to take his time and have you begging for more. and it works, without fail, every time.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ p is for pace are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.
it depends on the day or what you ask for. on his own, he is a soft and sensual lover. he likes to make love. he likes to make you feel every inch of him, every little bit of him pouring his love into you. but if you ask for it, he can be rougher. he can flip you onto your stomach, pulling your hips up just enough to arch your back the way he wants, and fuck into your aching pussy with a fiery passion that has you gripping the sheets so hard they wrinkle and come undone at the corners.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ q is for quickie their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.
sunghoon and quickies do not mix. he doesn’t like feeling rushed; he likes to take his time to take you apart and put you back together again. he feels that quickies are too impersonal. he likes the connection and emotion that comes from loving someone so much that you are willing to share your naked body with them, so quickies where you barely get your panties out of the way before his cock is pushing past your entrance are not ideal for him.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ r is for risk are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.
he’s absolutely willing to experiment with you. as mentioned before, he likes to take his time to figure out exactly what it is that makes you fall apart, the things that make you wettest, the things that light your body aflame with passion and desire. he’s not much of a physical risk taker, such as dangerous kinks or risky locations, but he’ll consider them if you ask.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ s is for stamina how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?
he generally prefers one long, drawn out round, rather than multiple shorter rounds. again, he likes to really take his time and really have an experience with you. he likes when both of you are breathlessly holding on to each other, so close to being completely spent, high off of each other and love, bodies numb from pleasure and feeling like you have finally melded into one.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ t is for toys do they own toys? do they use them?
i don’t think he would own a ton of toys, but he would have a vibrator stored away for special occasions. perhaps one that you can use both internally and externally. he would use it on nights you beg for more, or sometimes when you’ve been misbehaving as a way to tame you. holding your hips down as you try to squirm from the feeling of the vibrator on your clit, or the sensation of it being slowly thrusted inside of you on the lowest setting, seemingly as a punishment.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ u is for unfair how much do they like to tease?
he likes to get you a little heated, but he doesn’t tease for long. the second that your eyes start getting watery, he’s putty in your hands to do whatever you’d like him to. he may pretend as if he isn’t going to touch you, to give you what you want, mocking you a little for being so needy. but one look at him with puppy dog eyes, gripping his bicep, he’s done for and he’s giving you everything you like.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ v is for volume how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.
i don’t think he’s very loud, but he does make noise. he gets close enough to your ears and moans out how good you feel, how tightly you’re squeezing around his cock, how pretty you are, how you’re made for him. he’s a moaner and a bit of a talker.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ w is for wild card a random headcanon for the character.
sunghoon would love to watch you get ready. secretly palming himself every time you bend over to grab something, and complimenting you as you sit at your vanity to do your makeup, just for him to want to ruin it directly after. sunghoon loves to see your lipstick smeared all over his skin and wiped off of your lips.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ x is for x-ray what’s going on under those clothes?
he’s long, above average. slender with a thicker tip and base. the type of cock to stretch you and fill you up like you were made to fit together like puzzle pieces.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ y is for yearning how high is their sex drive?
he doesn’t have the highest sex drive in the beginning, and you may even think he’s not attracted to you. but he is - trust me, he is. it just takes him a little while to get comfortable, and once he is, it’s like a switch flips. once he gets comfortable and sure of himself, he will never take his hands off of you.
ཐི⋆ཋྀ z is for zzz how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?
after he gets you cleaned up and settled, he will fall asleep rather quickly. probably within 10-30 minutes. and he will fall asleep holding you, even if you are still naked and sticky from sweat.
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wordslikesilver · 7 months ago
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I am once again thinking about Hoarah Loux, the only man Marika ever trusted and the only man she ever loved. It’s such an insane thing to think about the fact that the second last boss of Elden Ring is Some Guy. He is literally just A Human Man. Marika looks at this fucking raving barbarian man and decides to My Fair Lady him into a Lord like the deranged woman she is by assigning him a babysitter to perpetually gnaw on his neck whenever he’s in public. As insane as all that sounds, let’s break down that imagery a little because it’s actually really good! His babysitter is the king of beasts, a lion named Serosh, who digs his claws and his fangs into Hoarah Loux’s body to keep him suppressed and restrained enough in temperament to now be fit to be named Godfrey, The First Elden Lord of Queen Marika.
Serosh is frankly quite mysterious as far as what he actually is goes but as far as story themes go, he’s a really interesting symbol of lordship. The lion basically IS Godfrey’s crown, it’s what makes him Godfrey. The symbolism is essentially stating in a very overt way that this man is more savage than all the beasts of the world. In Elden Ring, beasts with five fingers indicate an enlightened or elevated intelligence, blessed by the greater will. It’s fascinating how it’s basically stating that Serosh is more intelligent, refined and noble than Hoarah Loux, that this man is more wild and savage than the greatest of all the beasts in the world. That only a beast king could teach this man to be a Lord. Godfrey can rip him apart anytime but he doesn’t. It takes more than strength of body to wear a crown and he knows it. He needs Serosh to honour and do right by Marika. He is showing his opponents a courtesy, as he puts it. Morgott takes after his example and so too is Radahn inspired by him. It’s really wonderful imagery.
There’s more to the symbolism. My knowledge of alchemy is, I completely admit, too surface level to elegantly speak at length but I’ve done some light reading online to back up my confidence in what I’m saying. We know Miyazaki loves dark edgy anime like Berserk and I posit that he also gained inspiration from the anime/manga Hellsing, in which the main character recites the line “I am the bird of Hermes, eating my own wings to make me tame.” This line comes from the Ripley Scroll and is theorized to have many meanings but popularly is presumed to mean giving up higher philosophy and knowledge to live normally on the earth as a human. Miyazaki uses lots of alchemical symbolism in his works, Elden Ring especially (go watch Quelaag’s videos!) so I could be totally full of shit about hellsing but I’m completely confident that Godfrey is meant to be an inversion (like literally everything else about his character) of what the Bird of Hermes represents. Godhood is a prison, a shackling. The entire plot is Marika (and Ranni tbh) trying to escape that imprisonment. Godfrey loves Marika enough to chain himself down, to eat his own wings, to pull out his own teeth and claws for her to make himself tame and ascend to lordship.
What’s especially fascinating about him is that he carries Serosh out into the badlands with him, as the opening cutscene shows. Cut dialogue indicates he already knew the Elden Ring would shatter and the tarnished would be beckoned to return. That Marika told him her plan in full before she took from him and his warriors the grace of gold and sent them away. A line from him saying to trust in gold, always, that it will guide our fates to our true destiny has wonderful implications I would certainly love to expand on in another post maybe. Hoarah Loux was just a human man and Marika trusted him enough to tell him everything. Trusted him with her gambit to escape the shackles of godhood. This is the fascinating part about taking Serosh with him. Keeping himself disciplined enough to remain a Lord when he returns. To hold back his aching heart just enough that he could follow through on this dark plan and allow his wife to protect him from the machinations of the greater will by sending him away. Also note that in that opening cutscene, he’s being crucified, with a lion about his shoulders and spear buried in his abdomen. They could not be milking the Jesus imagery harder if they tried. The Bird of Hermes is also thought to represent Christ, more points for that symbolism.
I love Godfrey so much as a character. He loved his sons and he loved his wife. The tenderness that he holds Morgott with is enough to make me cry. How he wished he could’ve seen him sooner, I’m all too sure. He’s the only other character we see guided by grace in the entire game. Marika guides you and her beloved husband, that’s it, that’s how much she trusts him. When he rips Serosh from his shoulders, you understand how Marika felt such faith in him. In Elden Ring, it is through battle that you face the true self of an opponent. Godfrey reveals to you Hoarah Loux, Warrior Chieftain of the Badlands. It is a test. Are you worthy to free her? Can you do what I could not? I have shown you courtesy enough as a Lord. You served me well, Serosh. I relieve you of your burden and feel only gratitude for your service. Now begins the test. Are you, tarnished, stronger than the only man who was strong enough to bear the burden of Lordship? Are you stronger than the only man that Queen Marika ever trusted? Are you stronger than the only man she ever loved?
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taki118 · 17 days ago
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Yoshino: She Really Just Be That Way
One of the complaints I've seen for Yakuza Fiance Raise wa Tanin Ga ii is this idea that Yoshino changes herself for a guy but this is just a fundamental misunderstanding of the text. See Yoshino doesn't change she's always just been this way.
A lot of people who think this see the version of Yoshino at the start of the series as the authentic Yoshino and that the one who sold her kidney is who she made herself into to get back at Kirishima, but this is just not true. Yoshino at the start of her time in Tokyo is Yoshino on her best behavior, she's in a new place, she doesn't know how things go, she's unsure of how to be with the people watching over her and Kirishima isn't helping by pretending. In fact as much as he has a mask on at the start so does she.
She's trying to not be a bother, a bad house guest, trying to not make trouble. It's like when you are staying over a friends house for the first time, no matter what they say you can't get comfortable its not your house and you don't want to put anyone out but once you get more comfortable once you know how things work there you become comfortable. And thats what Yoshino is doing. You can actually see it in how she treats Inamori in vol 1 compared to vol 8. At the start she's pretty nervous and polite around him but as the series goes on she treats him far more casually, the same goes for the rest of the Miyama group as she hangs out, eats meals and just causally chats with them.
So when her being on her best behavior results in her being mistreated not just be Kirishima but the those girls in school (something a LOT of people overlook) Yoshino says fuck it, I'm done playing nice. Is it extreme? Yes. But is this actually a change? No, we get hints that Yoshino has an extreme temper that she keeps under wraps all her life, throughout the series.
Renji mentions this when he meets Kirishima for the first time. We get to see a small flashback of her pulling a classmates hair for making fun of her with a note saying she had to transfer several times in a few years just for bad behavior. Renji also says he tried to dissuade her from acting this way but also notes he can't change who she is.
When Shouma visits the first time part of the reason was to ask about the bullying, as she texted him a photo of her muddy locker, but he wasn't concerned about her rather he was worried about what SHE was going to do. This may seem odd if you did not read the earlier short story for them (tangent due to some publisher nonsense technically it can't be connected to the main story but its heavily implied to still be the cannon story of how Yoshino and Shouma met). In this a 14 year old Yoshino is ready to straight up kill a man cause she thinks its the best solution to a problem. Shouma knowing this knows that Yoshino has a tendency to go to the extreme when she is pushed just enough and when you know this a lot of what Shouma does with her is just him trying to stop her before she tries to do something, cause he knows he can't really stop her once she's decided to do something.
If you told these two what she did and why she did it, neither would be surprised. This is just who she is.
Yoshino is a person who would rather settle things civilly but if that option isn't available well she'll do what she thinks is fair, and she has a rather warped view of fair. Just because she would rather not resort to violence doesn't mean it's out of the question nor does it mean she did it for Kirishima, she did it for herself.
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gabrielsbubblegumbitch · 1 year ago
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Hey! Hope you’re having a good day! Just wanted to say I’ve become obsessed with your psychology analysis on the Vees and VoxVal. I’m curious, since the relationship is definitely toxic, how do you think the cycle of relationship abuse would work with them? (Honeymoon phase, tension, incident, ex)
Awww I'm so glad you like my silly headcanons, I fucking love writing them <3
(headcanons in question because they are relevant to this post: Vox and NPD | Valentino and BPD | random Vees headcanons)
You know, I believe their relationship is toxic because neither of them is particularly well-adjusted. However, I wouldn't apply the cycle of abuse theory to them. As far as I know, that theory is used to describe relationships that are highly unequal with clearly defined roles of abuser and victim. For instance, during the tension phase, tension grows in the abuser while the victim "walks on eggshells," trying their best to calm the abuser and constantly living in fear of an incident. I can't really imagine Vox or Valentino being that frightened of each other. Actually, that's why I think they are meant to be together - they can handle each other.
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That being said, I do believe they have some relationship issues. In episode 2, we witnessed Vox calming Valentino (by yelling at him so very toxic) when he was angry. Vox hates Valentino's unpredictability because he is a total control freak. While he finds Valentino's fiery temper extremely alluring, he also wishes Val would tone it down. He'd like to have a more reliable partner, especially because for him, falling in love was a significant and risky investment.
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On the flip side, immediately after Vox managed to calm Valentino down, Valentino essentially provoked him into a temper tantrum. Look at this shit-eating smile; he knew damn well what he was doing.
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Vox usually keeps his emotions hidden behind a polished facade, staying detached. Valentino, on the other hand, is all about intense emotions—loves passion, violence, and desperation. He digs Vox's cool business daddy vibe, but it drives him nuts when Vox gets all emotionally distant from him. Vox tries to guard himself because he knows Valentino can easily weaponize people's emotions against them, and he's lowkey scared of being vulnerable. So when he's going through some tough shit, Vox puts up this wall, becomes all distant, and then Valentino feels rejected and starts being a total jerk, pushing Vox away because he's hurting (if you've read my BPD Valentino headcanons, you get what I mean).
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So those are the main sources of tension in their relationship. Sometimes one of them snaps. In Vox's case, it means complete withdrawal from the relationship and sinking into work (since he wants a perfect relationship, he rarely even admits he's angry, he's just like "It's fine I just don't have time to see you") which obviously drives Val crazy. Because he's obsessively in love. So to fix the situation he doesn't apologize (since Vox "wasn't even angry") - he just invites himself to Vox's apartment/office and seduces him by acting nice and submissive so Vox can feel in control again.
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In Valentino's case, snapping means a violent outburst (though, I don't think he's physically abusive because he knows Vox is not afraid of him and could easily bite back or, even worse, leave him for good). These outbursts make Vox furious because he can't stop them. Then, they end up yelling a lot, throwing stuff around, and sometimes even breaking up. After that, Valentino goes on a week-long bender, just partying and hooking up with dozens of people. Vox, being obsessed, watches everything, and his jealousy always gets the best of him. He finally breaks and sends someone to bring Val back home. Or he personally intervenes, kills whoever Val is fucking, gives him a giant bouquet of roses, and goes all out to prove that he's the best guy Val could ever have. Vox is a showman, so he acts almost like a charming and obnoxiously rich mafia boss from a smutty novel, who wants nothing more than to please his princess with grand gestures.
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Oh also I think Val is very sensitive about Vox treating him "like a woman." He's actually very secure in his masculinity; he feels comfortable enough to present himself in feminine ways while still acting masculine. Like I mentioned, he's queer and he totally owns it. On the other hand, Vox still grapples with some deeply internalized heteronormative ideas, occasionally treating Valentino like his bitch. Valentino hates it because he's aware of Vox's sexist tendencies, and he refuses to allow Vox to treat him as though he's beneath him. He genuinely believes in the concept of an equal partnership in their relationship and can't stand Vox's attempts to alter the power dynamics in his favor.
If you like this post you may also like my VoxVal fanfiction
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yutahoes · 1 year ago
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CEO's Favorite Intern
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main characters: CEO! boyfriend! ex-sugar daddy! Yuta Nakamoto, intern! university student! girlfriend! ex-sugar baby! Y/N  (feat Accounting Department manager! supervisor! Mark Lee) word count: 4.4k words  genre: fluff, suggestive summary: Working in the same company as your boyfriend is hard enough. Being an intern in your CEO boyfriend's company is difficult. warnings: sugar baby-sugar daddy themes, suggestive, age difference, jealousy, a whiny baby Y/N, lots of kissing, failed ending (I tried) based on an ask and a part two of this fic. Writing has been really rusty lately but I hope you'll like this simple fic. And please leave feedback if you can.
You desperately searched for your name in the list of the students and their assigned company, praying that you would be put in a known company. You weren’t the best student in class. You were even convinced your teachers don't even know who you are so being in decent company would be a blessing enough. You saw your name followed by four other names but the company's name made you wide-eyed. 
Nakamoto Corporation. 
Your boyfriend’s company. 
Of all the companies there are, why there? Maybe your boyfriend has something to do about it. 
You raised an eyebrow at him while eating your steak. He kept on saying that he doesn’t know that they’ll put your name on the trainees assigned in their company but you’re not buying it. You know how sneaky Yuta is. He just chuckled at you, “Don’t worry, baby. I won’t give you any special treatment even if you are my most favorite intern.” 
But that is not what you were scared about. You were scared to fail. And it will all be embarrassing because you might fail in front of your highly esteemed boyfriend. 
Even if you go to the same company, you make sure to wake up earlier than your boyfriend and prepare for the internship. You cannot be late and you have to look at least presentable for your first day. “Are you going to wear that at work?” You glanced at the black pencil skirt and dark blue button blouse that you were wearing, nodding. “I’m so glad you’re going to my company.” He started getting his bath towel, “Wait for me. I’ll drive you to the company.”
“You can’t.” You immediately retorted while putting on the cross earrings he gave you as a gift. He stopped in his tracks, staring at you in confusion. “It will be weird to see the CEO and the intern coming to work together.” You explained and he blew on his bangs as if frustrated. “I’ll go first.” He was about to say something when you made your exit to the door. 
The commute was hard. Why is his apartment so far from his office when he goes there every day? The bus was crowded and you hated how your feet were hurting because of standing up. You even had to push outside the bus to get out of your stop. And even if you luckily survived the bus ride, you still have to walk so far to enter the company building. 
Even if you have been dating Yuta for a while now, it is your first time coming to his company building. You knew he had a decent business, that the corporation he had started years ago is booming in the industry but this is just too much. Now, you just felt an unbearable amount of pressure to do well in this internship. 
“Hi,” a guy greeted, smiling widely at you. “I’m Mark Lee, are you Ms. Y/N?” he asked and you nodded, confused as to why he was asking that. “I’m from the Accounting Department,” he started before offering you his calling card. So he works here? “I’m tasked to show you around.” You nodded. Maybe you’ll be working under his supervision. But he looks so young, probably the same age as you or older but not too much. He told you that your other schoolmates were assigned to different departments while you were assigned to Accounting. 
He showed you around, making sure that you would have an idea where certain offices are since they’ll probably ask you to move around. When you reached the department, you understood why. Seated opposite your desk is a woman in - probably - her late forties, then another woman looking stern with a drawn fine line of an eyebrow. Another man who was wearing thick glasses and had white hair can be seen inside the room. And there’s Mark Lee who looked like an outcast in the group of four people in the department. 
Not only do you feel that you’re an intern with how they order you around but you also feel the generation gap whenever they ask you how to print or edit the files or even input a certain figure using the computer. It hasn’t even been the whole day yet you’re already so frustrated and tired. How can Mark keep up with this every day? 
If there is one department that needs interns, that would be Accounting. Mark needed someone he could ask for help with. 
And you made sure that you’ll be of great help to Mark. 
You were so busy helping around that you forgot one tiny detail, the CEO of the company. The four people were standing up, greeting him politely when Yuta entered the Accounting Department. There’s an obvious tension in the air like they’re terrified of him. Is your boyfriend bullying his employees? And they’re even older than him. Is that even an appropriate work environment? “I’m just here to check on the financial report.” You watched as the youngest of the group handed him a folder with shaking hands, “Is this double-checked? I don’t want to see the same mistakes as the other reports.” You purse your lips at that. You did see a lot of mistakes when you rechecked the file but it was almost all small typographical errors or plain mistakes in the input of the formula.
Mark nodded. “Miss Y/N helped a lot in double-checking the file.” Yuta glanced at you before nodding. What was that? When he left the room, the four had a collective sigh that amused you. Are they that scared of Yuta? 
You’re not that good in Math, it’s still a mystery why you were put in the accounting department. But seeing how the employees of the department interact with the CEO, you realize you might have been in the right department. 
“Are you hiring new employees?” You asked Yuta while eating dinner. Since you both just returned from work, you settled on Chinese take-out. “I think the accounting department needs more people,” You licked the sauce of the noodles from your finger before continuing, “Younger people.” 
Yuta handed you tissues but before you could wipe the remaining sauce on your fingers, he took your hand and licked the sauce for you. “You’re actually in the wrong department. My instruction is that they should put a guy in accounting.” You glared. So he’s aware that accounting has one of the toughest jobs in his company? “Do you want to transfer to my floor? My secretary can train you.” 
You shook your head, “I thought you wouldn’t give me special treatment.” The guy only gave a hearty laugh. “I’m fine in the accounting department, Mark needs more help than he can get.” 
You thought the CEO was getting back at you with your decision. He kept on returning the files your department sent to his office and kept on checking even small mistakes. You even thought that it was his way to see you in his office but once you handed the folder to his secretary, you would just wait for the returned file in his office lobby. 
It was Mark who assured you that he's usually like this. Accounting is one of the most important departments in the company. They are in charge of finances coming in and out of the company. Indeed a small mistake can change everything. But if Yuta is aware of that fact, why put only four people in the department? It can use a lot of people, younger people. 
If there is something that you’re getting from this experience, that is an immense respect and admiration for Mark Lee. He’s always smiling, and always patient with his older co-workers. He never gets mad and is always speaking cheerfully. Maybe he’s an angel sent to Earth. And he deserves a raise for all his hard work. 
“You know ever since you started your internship, all you ever talk about is Mark Lee” Yuta noted one Saturday morning. You were having breakfast in a posh and private waffle shop near your place. 
Your fork stopped midair and you purse your lips at his words, making sense of it. You were always with Mark. You work together. Of course, you’ll talk about him. “He’s such a hard worker. I think your company will crumble without him.”  
“Then, should I promote him?” He definitely deserved that. And Mark will surely be super happy if that happens. But if he gets promoted, he’ll leave the accounting department. “Or should I just wait for you?” Yuta took a bite of his waffle chicly. 
“Wait for me?” 
“When you start your position in the company.” 
You blinked twice before cocking your head to the side in confusion, “What position?” 
“I’m still thinking about it but maybe a COO.” Your eyes widened in surprise. That is a huge position. You know how employers tend to employ interns especially if they did a good job. But a COO? That’s a high-ranking position, next to his. “Why do you look surprised?” Because that is a huge title for an intern. “Half the company will be yours if we get married, Y/N.”
You stood up in surprise. You didn't know if that was because of the huge fortune coming your way or the fact that Yuta had planned on marrying you. This relationship just started as a sugar daddy-sugar baby one. He needed a companion, you needed money. True, it drastically evolved after some time. But talking about the future, getting married to him is something that you felt farfetched. Yet, here is this topic.
Yuta smirked against his coffee cup. “Sit down, baby.” He ordered in a commanding tone as you shakily obeyed him. “You shouldn't be surprised. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I already had marriage in mind.” He put down his coffee cup before cutting your waffles into tiny pieces, urging you to eat. “That’s why you need to do your best in this internship, graduate, and wear your graduation gown.” He stared at you, dark orbs pulling you in which made you gulp the lump in your throat. “Then prepare your wedding gown.”   
It must be the talk with Yuta that you dreaded going to work. How can you work as an intern for a company you’ll soon be managing? Is this Yuta’s plan all along? Did he purposely ask for you to be assigned as an intern at his company? 
Your schoolmates, who were interns of the same company, were all spouting compliments on their experience as interns of the Nakamoto Corporation. If the CEO decides to absorb them into the company, you will be managing them in the future. 
This may not be for you. 
Can you resign as an intern? Is that even possible? 
If you cannot do that, maybe you can just quit as Yuta’s girlfriend. 
That would be easier. 
You didn't have any motivation to go to work but Mark already looked worried the moment you stepped foot inside the office room. "Y/N, you have to help me," he said, a strain in his voice evident. 
Wait, what happened? Is he about to cry? 
You have never rushed work before, maybe running to get to class on time is the only time you decided to move faster. You were almost surprised when you finished the report Mark had asked you to do. You didn't know you could type so fast. The senior colleague’s file of the monthly report was corrupted from her flash drive and they could not open it. Luckily, Mark saved the copy from last month and retyping is easy. The department also had to present to the CEO in half an hour which added to Mark’s panic. 
Mark was fidgeting outside the conference room. “I’m not a great presenter,” he said more to himself, “But I have to do this for the sake of my co-workers in the department.” You nodded. It hasn’t been a month but you already saw how frustrating it is for Mark. How did he endure this workload for this long? Mark is such an angel.
You tapped his shoulder, smiling warmly at him. “You’re doing great, Mark.” 
He returned the smile, “Thank you, Y/N.”
A cough can be heard followed by the secretary of the CEO excusing himself to enter the board room. A side glance was all the CEO could give you both. The side of his lips frowning. “The CEO is in a bad mood,” Mark noticed, which made you nod. “Let’s hurry inside.” 
It was your first time watching your boyfriend at his work. True, you have watched him in video meetings looking all serious. But seeing him in this board room, managing his employees who are significantly older than him stirred something inside you. How come everything Yuta does is such a turn-on? Your gaze would fall on the leather watch on his wrist to the evident veins on the back of his hand, wanting him to touch you in that part that’s getting wetter by the second. Your eyes trailed north to his dark necktie, wanting that material wrapped around your wrist as he gave you immense pleasure. Watching the tip of his pen tapping his lower lip, made your mind drift off to what those lips can do. Fuck, you badly want him and you’re still clocked in for two hours here in the office. When your eyes met his, he raised an eyebrow before looking away.  
He probably knows the effect he has on you. 
When your department was called, your attention focused on your colleague. You smiled at Mark, tapping his shoulder to encourage him as you sat down in front of the laptop, volunteering to help him with the technical stuff. Your teamwork is rather dynamic and the presentation of the monthly investment goes on smoothly. You would give small smiles his way, proud that he did amazing despite his low confidence in his speaking skills. He’s just amazing in this job. 
“Since the investment remains stagnant, what do you think should we do Mr. Lee?” The CEO asked, startling you. His tone was different from the other presenters. Mark looked like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes wandering around as if asking for help. 
You raised your hand and muttered, “Sir,” You called which made the CEO look at you. “Isn't that question supposed to be directed to the marketing department?” 
“I’m not asking your opinion, intern.” Even the room got silent at his cold tone. Why is he suddenly like this? “Mr. Lee?” 
You didn’t even hear what Mark said in the shock of what happened. Is Yuta usually like this to interns? Maybe your boyfriend is such a huge bully. 
When the other department was called and the interns did share their opinion, he gave a warm reaction to them. Even if the employees were doing a terrible job in presenting or the interns kept on making mistakes, he never made the same reaction as when he shouted at you. Is he mad at you? Does he hate you? 
Instead of going home early, you found yourself drinking with your colleagues from the accounting department because of your bad mood. The senior workers kept on telling you that it was normal, Yuta is always like that. But no, you cannot. Not when you feel that it’s unfair. How can he treat his employees like that? How can he shout at you, an intern, in front of the other employees? And why only you? 
“The CEO is probably extra grumpy because he didn’t get laid.” One of your co-workers claimed that you dropped the glass you were holding. Mark was already at your aid, wiping the table and handing you tissues to wipe yourself. “Rumors are saying that he has a younger girlfriend.” 
You felt your heart stammer in your chest. There are rumors about that? Do they know that the girlfriend is you? Or is there another girlfriend that you aren’t aware of? Is he cheating on you? 
Maybe that’s why he’s cold to you in the office. Maybe, he wanted to push you away. 
Well, who would ever want an intern as a girlfriend anyway? 
All these thoughts running in your mind, and the fact that you had some drinks, made you unaware of the bicycle on the sidewalk. If not for Mark pulling you back, you wouldn’t even realize that you almost got hit by a vehicle. “Are you still thinking about what the CEO said?” You shook your head. Surprisingly, it isn’t about that anymore. It’s worse than that. “Don’t take it to heart, Y/N. I think the CEO likes you.” 
You gave him a timid smile, stopping to walk in front of your apartment building. Now, you just wanted to lie down and rest. “That’s nonsense.” You tried to shrug, “Have you heard how he shouted at me?” 
“He’s strict with you because he saw your potential,” Mark claimed but you shook your head. “And you have become his favorite intern.” 
You chuckled lightly. That’s impossible. You must be so drunk that you have been hearing things from Mark. “Thank you, Mark. This is my stop.” He glanced at the tall building before nodding, “Take care on your way home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You didn’t hear any word coming from him and just went inside the building. 
The lights were off when you came inside the apartment so you clicked on the light switch to illuminate the light on your way to your room. You almost jumped in surprise seeing Yuta seated on the couch, turned to where you are. “It’s late,” he said in a low voice. “Did you drink?” He stood up, walking to where you are. “On a work night?” 
“I’m not drunk,” you tried to counter but your words are slurring, “I spilled beer on myself.” You stopped when he held your forearm to help you balance but you slapped his shoulders which made him groan. “I shouldn’t be talking to you.” 
Yuta chuckled, pulling you closer to him. “Are you mad because of what happened earlier?” You rolled your eyes and he held your waist. “You told me not to give you any special treatment.” 
“But that was too much!” You shouted. “Are you like that to everyone or just to me? Do you hate me?” 
If not for Yuta wiping the tears from your face, you wouldn’t know that you’re crying. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He said in a soft voice and if possible, pulled you closer. “I don’t hate you, I would never hate you.” Then why was he mad at you earlier? “And to be honest, I hate myself more.” You stared at him in surprise. Why would he? “I let my jealousy take over my emotions.”
“Jealousy?” 
He gave you a small smile before kissing your forehead. “You and Mark, smiling and touching each other.” Your eyes widened at that. What? Mark Lee? But you work with each other and it’s just shoulder pats. Yuta kissed your nose, “I hate that you’re so pretty and those guys at work kept looking at you.” Then he kissed you on the lips, a quick smack but still surprised you nonetheless. “I hate that those pretty words coming out of your lips turn me on so much.” Wait, what? 
“You have no idea that when you said sir earlier, I wanted to bend you in the conference room and make you shout that same word repeatedly.” 
You sobbed, bawling your eyes out. It was now his turn to get startled. “I thought you were pushing me away.” You cried, “I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” 
But he just pulled you closer, hugging you tight. “I’m sorry, baby" he kept on whispering. “That's the contrary actually.” He tried to calm you down by pressing butterfly kisses along your neck, fingers trailing on the skin under your shirt. "I want you so much, it's crazy." He kept on kissing your exposed skin, opening the buttons of your blouse. “You reek of beer, let’s get you cleaned up hmm?” 
Maybe it was the intoxicated state you’re in but you let Yuta pamper you that night. He was so careful while giving you a bath, rubbing your skin while whispering how your idea earlier was right and that your department did a great job. He listened intently to how you tell him how stressed you are with your job. 
In contrast to his gentleness while taking care of you was his roughness in bed. You kept on moaning the word ‘sir’ and he would thrust in you in the roughest way possible. “I love you,” he whispered against your ear, lying beside you. “I’m sorry.” 
A chuckle escaped your lips, eyes closing as the tiredness loomed on you. “Since you got laid tonight, maybe you won't be that grumpy tomorrow.” You only heard Yuta laugh in response. 
—--
You were so sore the next morning that you begged Yuta if you could take the day off. But since you’re an intern, without any special treatment, he didn’t let you. He helped you, though, by volunteering to drive you to the company. You were anxious the whole time you were inside the car. What if someone sees you with him? A CEO and an intern together is a bad image for a company. But you found out that Yuta has a special parking area, hidden from other employees. 
Yuta only gave you a couple of minutes to walk ahead of him so no one could see the two of you together but he caught on to you while walking to the elevator. The employees greeted him and he gave a wide smile, greeting them as well. When you reached the office of the accounting department, the senior workers were all whispering about how the CEO was in a very good mood today. “He probably got laid last night,” the senior colleague claimed and you lightly smiled. That was so absurd but it wasn’t wrong. 
The day isn’t that busy but you noticed how Mark kept on moving from one place to another. He kept you inside the office, retyping documents, while he ran the errands to the other departments. When you took a break on the office terrace, you found out why. “Rough night?” He asked while handing you a cup of coffee. “You were limping on the way in. You’re lucky they didn’t notice you.” 
It was embarrassing. Is Mark really that observant? He turned around, back leaning on the ledge, as you sipped on the coffee he gave. “So how rough did your boyfriend take you last night?”  
Isn’t that too much to ask? “You don’t know if I have a boyfriend.” He raised an eyebrow, looking as if you got caught. 
Mark laughed before raising his head to point at someone by the window and you were surprised to see the CEO looking at you, arms crossed. “He looks like he’ll kill me. You might not have done so well last night.” he joked with a light chuckle. 
You glared at him, “How did you know?” 
“I wasn’t that sure at the start but after the CEO had been too strict on the department, I kind of put two and two together.” He claimed then smiled, “And you live with him, don’t you? You cannot afford that luxury apartment, Y/N.” Is Mark that smart? How did he find out about that? “Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul that we have an office romance. But I have to tell you something…” 
Your phone rang, and Yuta’s name was seen on the screen. Mark gave you a nod to answer the call, “Tell Mark Lee that Lee Haechan from marketing is looking for him.” Yuta said that confused you. Why didn’t he just call Mark? When you relayed the message to the guy beside you, he was smiling from ear to ear while telling you that he’ll see you later. You asked who Lee Haechan was and Yuta quickly answered, “His boyfriend.” 
Your eyes widened in surprise while looking at Mark. Boyfriend? You didn’t know Mark had a boyfriend. And a co-worker? Is that what he was supposed to tell you? “Wait, how did you find out?” 
“Company rumors.” Your boyfriend listens to rumors in the company? “And I know how ecstatic Mark is whenever he gets assigned to the Marketing Department.” Now that he mentions it, he does look more excited about working with that department. An office couple. How exciting. 
“But wait,” You claimed, turning your back to the ledge that you’re face to face with the CEO. “Are you that jealous of Mark that you always watch him? How do you know that he gets ecstatic working with marketing?” 
You can see the smile forming on your boyfriend’s lips, “I know Mark before you do, baby.” A light chuckle can be heard. “Besides, before you came, he was my favorite intern.” So Yuta does have a favorite intern. And maybe that’s why Mark confidently said those words to you last night. Does this mean you’ll have the same route as Mark? 
“I thought I wouldn’t get any special treatment?” 
“You won’t. You still have to work hard and complain about how shitty your boss is.” You rolled your eyes but you knew there was a grin on his face. “But you automatically qualify as the COO so whatever you want to do with the company in the future is all in your hands.” That was such a position from being just an intern. Why does he keep on pushing you in that position? “Or the wife of the CEO. I won’t complain.” 
You chuckled. There’s no doubt he’s a man with authority. “The wife of the CEO sounds much better. A total jump from being an intern.” 
You saw him smile from the window. “Ask for the monthly report and bring it to my office,” he ordered, then winked your way. “Let me hear the complaints of my favorite intern.” 
You smiled then put down the phone before walking your way back to the accounting office. 
Being the CEO’s favorite intern isn’t so bad at all. 
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lesbian-for-arthur-morgan · 2 years ago
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Watching Horror Movies Together
Super Short Headcanons || Modern Au
Genre: Fluff Featuring: Arthur, John, Dutch, Javier, Charles, Sean, and Sadie Warnings: None - super casual writing
AN: I know no one requested this but I was on a horror binge last night and couldn't stop thinking about how these guys would act during a scary movie marathon so I wrote a quick thing in my notes app to post teehee~ ---> Requests are open! Check out guidelines if you have questions
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Arthur Morgan:
Is not scared at all - literally impossible to scare.
Thinks horror movies are predictable and kind of boring.
However, God forbid a dog dies in the movie because he will get up and turn it off and say that the writers went too far.
Grumbles and groans on movie nights where you choose a horror movie, but will always wrap an arm around you and insist of sharing a blanket because he just likes spending time with you and being able to hold you close.
Will tease you for your bad taste in movies but secretly loves watching them with you and finds himself getting sucked into them every now and then.
John Marston:
Is on the edge of his seat the whole time.
Claims he's watching them because he thinks they're funny, but actually really enjoys trying to figure out who the killer is and who's going to die when and where.
Jumps at every jump scare but acts like he didn't.
He needs to watch a Disney movie afterwards so he doesn't have nightmares. Will say it's for your sake and not his, though.
Man acts all big and bad, but once the music starts to get intense and there's a long hallway on the screen he is looking everywhere but at the TV so he isn't jumpscared again.
Dutch Van Der Linde:
Probably taking notes during psychological horror movies on how to be manipulative.
Says the killer is misunderstood or that their tragic backstory makes the killing justified.
He will eat all the popcorn and then get upset when it's all gone. Cue the puppy eyes while he's begging you to go make more.
Spends a good forty-five minutes talking about how you and him would survive the movie because y'all are so much smarter than the main characters and would make it out of there.
Genuinely believes he's invincible and could survive any scenario.
Javier Escuella:
HATES horror movies because they genuinely scare him.
Well, he can handle slashers but he hates paranormal movies since he believes in ghosts 100% no questions asked.
Loves making a snack buffet for the movie - popcorn, candy, cookies, sodas, fries, and the works.
Encourages you to cuddle into him and hold him whenever you get too scared since he's so big and brave.
Will end up being the one hiding his face in your shoulder and holding you like a teddy bear because he got freaked out.
Charles Smith:
Loves to analyze horror movies in -like- an artistic way.
His favorite types are historical horrors because so much thought goes into them.
He will watch silly horror with you, though, like Scream and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but will spend the whole movie making fun of you. Lightheartedly, of course, he's saying that those aren't real scary movies and that you're kind of a wuss.
The entire movie his arm is wrapped around you and pressing you deep into his side so that you can cuddle and be warm. It's a little too comfortable though and you end up falling asleep there more often than not.
Loves it when you do that, it makes him feel all soft and warm on the inside.
Sean MacGuire:
Makes jokes the entire time.
Literally has something to say every 2 minutes that has the both of you laughing instead of being scared.
Honestly, it's the only way he can get through the whole movie.
If you start getting sucked into the movie and he's too nervous to fully focus on the screen, he will start throwing popcorn at you to get your attention.
Halfway through the movie he will make you pause it so that he can have a mental break from all the scary stuff and gore. Totally turns into a make-out session and the movie is long forgotten.
Sadie Adler:
Absolutely nothing fazes her, she LOVES scary movies.
She knows all the behind-the-scenes info about every movie you watch too because she deep dives into interviews and essays after watching them the first time.
Her eyes are glued to the screen but will have you lay your head in her lap so she can run her fingers through your hair to soothe you when you get scared.
Makes fun of you when you react at a jump scare. When you look up at her with a frown, she'll press kisses all over your face until you can't help but smile.
She loves that she can make you feel comforted and safe when you're scared, secretly loves it even more when you try to go to bed after the movie and you're clinging to her like a koala because you're still a little spooked by the film.
<><><><>
I know summer isn't even close to over yet, but I am so excited for Halloween this year, so here's a little Halloween in July (think like that Gravity Falls episode)
Hope you enjoyed <3
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dailydemonspotlight · 15 days ago
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Dante - Day 151
Race: Fiend Occupation: Devil Hunter Alignment: Neutral, with the Devil May Cry Agency January 13th, 2025
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Okay, okay, this might seem stupid, but... I wanted to cover Dante for today for one reason, and one reason alone. A joke that only made sense in my head. 151 is the amount of Pokemon there are in Gen 1, right? And people say that SMT is just demonic Pokemon, so why not cover a crossover demon from SMT for the Pokemon number? Yeah, it only worked in my head. Still! Dante! While the fact that it's DMC Dante is just a victim of a stupid bit, Dante is an incredibly interesting figure to dig into, historically speaking- he's far more than just the silly, pizza eating devil hunter that Devil May Cry fans are familiar with. I'm not gonna be talking about his appearance in DMC, as that's not really the purpose of this blog (though I do fully recommend the DMC games, they're fucking fantastic,) but I do want to talk about the man from whom Dante got his name: Dante Alighieri.
Dante Alighieri was a complicated man, to say the least. Born to a rather modest Italian family in 1265, much of his life is recorded in his poetry, as he was an avid author and poet. Betrothed and set to marry someone- a girl named Gemma Donati- at the ripe age of 12, Dante was unfortunately in love with someone completely opposite, Beatrice Portinari. While this might seem like the setup for a romance book where they get together at the end in spite of their parent's protests, Dante instead spent his time pining over Beatrice and writing poems to her, frequent sonnets contained in the text Vita Nuova. What this is relevant to might seem strained on the surface, but Vita Nuova actually also serves as an important insight to Dante and his thought process- what led him to writing his most important work, and what'll make up the majority of this analysis: The Divine Comedy.
The jokes about the Divine Comedy being a piece of Bible fanfiction aren't... inaccurate, but it's doing a slight disservice to the work to proclaim it as just that when it really does expand on biblical study and serve as a fantastic piece of literature in-and-of itself. It's an honest to god masterpiece, and the reputation it's built up is well deserved. Split up into three works- Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso- the multi-part series of poems goes into depth about the layers of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, as well as their roles and purposes in the grander scheme of things. Driven and shown around by his mentor and main inspiration, the Roman poet Virgil, Dante walks through and experiences a heavily layered metaphor of the consequences of sins and the prizes of virtues, with Virgil serving as the voice of reason throughout.
I can't get too in depth with the work, because I've only read bits and pieces and this is more of a summary, if anything, but Dante's Inferno is where a lot of the conceptions of hell even come from- each layer being based on a deadly sin is a commonly recurring motif throughout much of literature that talks about hell, as well as the idea of the layers themselves. Shit, the layers of hell in ULTRAKILL are literally just the layers of hell in Inferno! Still, the separation of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven into layers is given a lot of weight, and while I do laugh at the fact that he kinda just put the people he doesn't like in hell and the people he does like in Heaven, the work overall serves as a multilayered metaphor for... a lot. It's incredibly complicated. Dante himself seemed to take inspiration from his own suffering and exile for the work, and it shows in how it develops and he uses it to understand his own issues- as it goes on and the comedy moves from part to part, the prose grows more beautiful and as Dante moves from Hell to Heaven, it begins to paint a picture of hope.
So, why was this guy chosen as the namesake of everyone(I think)'s favorite cocky devil hunter? I... don't know! It's probably due to the fact that Inferno is by far the most popular and influential work in the Divine Comedy, and it goes into depth about hell, demons, and devils, everything that Dante deals with on a daily basis. I personally haven't gotten very far into the DMC series (I'm only just starting 3) but from what I can tell, a lot of the literature themes seem to tie together in the whole family tree of Dante, Vergil, and later Nero. Many of the character's names are taken from poetry, after all. So, yeah. Not much else to talk about here, other than the fact that DMC is pretty coool. Also this blog is now featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series.
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artist-issues · 3 months ago
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Hello, yes, it’s Halloween Week and I’d like to say one more time, here, because nobody wants to hear it elsewhere:
The death and darkness is part of the Story the Year Tells, and ignoring it is bad, but so is treating it like a good thing.
The only thing good about monsters, evil, death, and darkness, is that it all ends. But if we skip to “it’s gone,” then we miss the use we have in remembering it.
If you take the shark out of Jaws there’s no emotional climax when the main character says “I used to be afraid of the water.” If Scar doesn’t rule the Pridelands for a while, nobody cares that Simba’s coming back. If Sauron’s blanket of darkness hadn’t spread so far over Middle-Earth— if Gollum as a nasty grotesque character hadn’t existed because he’s “too scary” and “too dark”—or even if we’d seen less of him—then it wouldn’t mean as much when the good guys win. You wouldn’t care as much when Frodo is tempted by the Ring, because you’ve never seen how bad that can get, because you never got to see and dwell on Gollum, for a minute.
Halloween is the Gollum of The Story the Year Tells.
The spirit of it, the part where we remind ourselves darkness and monsters exist, but we don’t live in an UNHEALTHY obsession with them, has always been that.
The World goes “let’s make evil and monsters celebratory and awesome.” If the church goes “no we shouldn’t celebrate evil and monsters, we should totally ignore them instead!” then who is putting monsters and evil in their proper place?
Who is saying, “evil exists, monsters are real, we were once dead, we were once walking in darkness, we were once monsters, that’s why it’s SO AWESOME that we’re a new creation in Christ?”
Nobody. The world gets to go “there’s no such thing as evil, evil is actually a cooler version of good! Witches are neat, werewolves are awesome, and vampires are sexy!” And Christians get to go, “no there’s no such thing as evil, Christians don’t think about evil, the just think about pumpkins and hay bales.” But actually all you’re united in is ignoring evil.
God uses death as His do-boy. He uses dead imagery to describe parts of the salvation story. He allows decay and rot and skeletons and warping to happen, on some level, because He fixes it. And in the fixing, it shows off His character. If you pretend the darkness isn’t real or isn’t relevant, then the darkness doesn’t go away. It just gets to decide how it’s perceived. If there’s a werewolf in the room with you and you go, “I don’t do werewolves,” and turn your back guess what, it’s just going to eat you from behind.
Do what the ancient people did. Tell stories about the monsters as a cautionary tale, and describe how to get rid of them, because as dangerous as they are, ha ha, they don’t get to win.
We’re supposed to take the way the world has warped good instincts and un-warp them, not pretend they don’t exist.
So what I’m saying is, carve jack-o-lantern faces with your kids and talk about how the light shines through the dead thing. Dress them up as goblins and werewolves and then don’t let them have any candy until after they’ve taken the costumes off, and go, “see, you were once dead in your trespasses and sins, but now, in Christ, you are a new creation!” And then give em the candy. Write stories about monsters that get cured when they don’t deserve it, or monsters that are unstoppable by anything except pure sacrifice.
But don’t write out the monsters, that’s not your job.
Happy Halloween.
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theoutsiderscomfort · 7 months ago
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I may have posted 4 headcanons yesterday and one this morning but the grind never stops.
Ponyboy Curtis Headcanons
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He loves reading but he can’t buy his own books often so he borrows them a lot
Two-Bit for sure has stolen one or two for him, probably as a birthday gift
Darry didn’t approve of it but it made Ponyboy happy so he kept it to himself
He is the one kid in his class who actually reads the books instead of skimming the book to find the answers
He never gets rid of gone with the wind and it moves with him wherever he goes. College, his first apartment, his first house. That copy is probably still laying around to this day
He goes to college for literature, I mean are we even surprised here
He becomes a English teacher at school not too far from Tulsa so he can visit his brothers on the weekend
He writes his own book one day about what happened that night. The book being the outsiders (duh)
He writes a few book but the outsiders will always be his favourite because it was a way that people would always remember Johnny and Dally
I’m going to move on to the neurodivergent headcanon otherwise this will turn into angst headcanons
Ponyboy is autistic like Darry but people picked up on it more easily
Soda is the one who picked up on it first and told his parents. Soda may of been 7 but he picked up on it
Reading and movies are his special interests (it’s me. I’m Ponyboy)
Even Darry says in the movie that all Ponyboy concentrates on is movie and books
He has a lot of sensory issues with food which is one of the main traits he shows
Luckily for Darry, most of his safe foods are cheap stuff anyway
Unluckily for Darry, after the fire is when his issues with food becomes worse because everything taste like baloney
It took over a month for Ponyboy to start eating like he used to and the day it happens his brothers are full of relief
Even Two-Bit and Steve are relieved when they come into Pony eating a massive slice of chocolate cake. Steve wouldn’t even care that he stole the last slice
He hates wearing long sleeves most of the time which is why he hardly wears a jacket despite being cold
One last angsty headcanon to finish this off
He visits Johnny and Dally whenever he can. He just sits there quietly or talks about what has happened since he last visited
“Darry met this nice girl. She fits right in with the gang. You guys would of loved her”
I swear with Ponyboy and Darry the autism headcanons just flow out of me
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midnight1nk · 5 months ago
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If you were to ask me:
Out of all the Puzzlevision episodes we had so far, which is your favorite?
My answer will always be “Once Upon An SMG4”. I mean, who wouldn't want a silly fairytale parody? With the chaotic nature of the show, it just made sense to me. You know what also made sense? Having SMG3 play the princess role, considering he is qualified to be a Disney Princess.
if you think about it, the whole Star Trio could be Disney Princesses…
As a glitchybombs shipper, Mr Puzzles basically gave a fairytale AU for us to work with. And indeed, we could’ve had a 'true love’s kiss' moment. While all of these are good reasons, it's not the main reason why I love it.
I love it because it's a parallel/twisted version of “It's Gotta Be Perfect”.
Every story, no matter how outlandish it seems, is grounded in reality.
Think of any fairytale you know of from the top of your head. Pretty easy, right?
But do you have a solid reason as to why the Evil Queen from Snow White is really evil? Or why Goldilocks was alone in the woods and decided to trespass on private property? Or why didn't the Godmother come sooner to save Cinderella from her abusive family?
Perhaps you can find answers in the depths of the internet and historical literature, but otherwise, it's up for speculation. That's because fairytales are for the sake of entertainment. Therefore, the characters and/or their personalities are reduced to simple roles: good guy, bad guy, etc. Toss in a subtle message about human morality and you got a nice little tale where the good guys win and the bad guys get what they deserve.
For “Once Upon An SMG4”, there's much more than what meets the eye. Follow me as I overanalyze this episode to events that happened in the “It's Gotta Be Perfect” arc, and discuss how they could be alluding to future character interactions, WOTFI 2024, and beyond...
ONCE UPON A Ṕ̷̱E̴̺̽R̵̖̎̕F̵̢̗̈́̀E̴̞̍C̴͈̽T̶͓̘̈́ SMG4
THE NARRATOR
The episode starts off with the first actual character of the story: the narrator. Now, we have no idea who that is.
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There isn’t a name on who voiced him in the credits, and it can be easily assumed that it was just some random guy, like the one from the Puzzlevision Movie. But I think it might just be Mr Puzzles. He is the showrunner after all. He could've manipulated the script or be the narrator himself. Either way, he is the one in control, forcing the viewer to see the story through his lens (...or screen I guess).
Anyway, the narrator introduces one of the two main characters of the story:
SMG4
The narrator goes on to describe him as “an ugly, wicked witch who's selfish and cruel…” before Witch!4 proceeds to break his back for doing his evil laugh.
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Remember how I said that complex characters were reduced to simpler roles? Four was one of them. In IGBP, Four felt inadequate as a content creator and just wanted to make his audience happy. He had insecurities before the arc, hidden in the back of his mind, but it was because of ‘SMG4... Are You Ok?’ episode that those insecurities have now come to light. As told in IGBP, his videos were a sort of “measure” of his worth. It wasn’t only that his videos weren’t good enough, it was that he wasn’t good enough. Therefore, he felt like he failed in making people happy. That would be his fault.
That was why he was desperate to create the best video ever. Unfortunately, when you are laser-focused on something, the world around you becomes a blur. Four isolated himself from the crew (We’ll get back to this, see: ‘Four’s Villain Song’). He didn’t sleep, didn’t even eat. He didn’t try to take care of himself because, as some of us relate, he thought that ‘if I worked on this a bit more, just another second more, maybe it’ll be perfect and I can finally finish it’, having his necessities as an afterthought or even ”reward”. It drove him to his breaking point in the ‘SMG4: MAR10 Day’ episode. It wasn't his intention to shut everyone out nor was it to hurt anyone. But, because he wasn’t in the right headspace, he lashed out at his friends.
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As Mr Puzzles’ script stated, Four acted “selfish and cruel”, all for the perfect video. Mr Puzzles already perceived SMG4 in a negative light by calling the show “the stupidest” thing he’d ever seen. This was merely ‘evidence’ for Mr Puzzles to say, “See? This is why you shouldn’t be rooting for SMG4. He is a villain and he got what he deserved”. Four is a villain, that was all Mr Puzzles perceived him as, here in ‘Once Upon an SMG4’ (See: ‘You Look Peak, Brother”, for more). For his character, it makes a lot of sense. Mr Puzzles didn’t have friends growing up so he didn’t understand how Four’s insecurities were really affecting him.
However, a certain purple meme guardian did connect with Four. Speaking of which, the narrator introduces the second main character of the story:
SMG3
The narrator describes Three as “a beautiful princess pure of heart” and that he had “unparalleled beauty, embodying every romantic dream”. Insert Princess!3 having his Disney Princess Moment (TM).
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If Mr Puzzles perceives Four being evil, does that mean he perceives Three as the opposite?
Well, sort of. From a storytelling perspective, for every bad guy, there is a good guy. Narrative foils, at times, are parallel to one another. They share similarities in terms of personality or appearance or just wanting the same goal. What better foil to have than Three, Four’s meme guardian partner and former villain.
What about beauty?
Three has repeatedly proclaimed how he's The Rizzler (TM) and how he is far more attractive than Four. In ‘SMG4: We Don’t Talk About What Happened in the Elevator’ episode, Four admitted that Three does have rizz, just as Three admits that he doesn’t hate Four (See: 'Fairest Fight 2024', for more).
Back to Princess!3, he sang how all he wants is money …and-a-sugarda--. While 'wanting to get rich' makes sense for Three’s character, it also doesn’t. Bare with me on this one:
In ‘SMG4: Trash Friends’, it was revealed that Three feels insecure about how he is perceived as Four’s cheap copy. Years ago, he tried being himself in memewarts and afterward. He failed to be recognized, unable to have friends, always being overshadowed by Four. So, in the YouTube Arc, he was obsessed with trying to become like Four. It wasn’t until he took over the channel that he got to experience what it truly felt like to be Four, before he eventually got sent to the Internet Graveyard and there began a whole new journey for him. He’s okay with his character development. In ‘SMG4: You Used To Be Cool’, he realizes that he doesn’t need to prove to anyone who he is, being satisfied with the life he now has.
What does it have to do with money?
Looking back at ‘SMG4: Trash Friends’ and the Meme Factory Arc, we saw that Three’s Coffee & Bombs wasn’t doing so well. It isn’t confirmed if this was of Mr Puzzles’ doing, but regardless, it does bring back some ugly memories for him. For once, he is enjoying the life he built and is currently trying to prove that he is not a mere copy of Four. But he might lose it, just as it happened with Snitch Productions.
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He doesn’t want to go back to the life he had before. It isn’t just the café, it’s the possibility that he might lose his friends. Even if he doesn't want to admit it, he is part of the crew, and that is a lot more to lose. So, he has to “rescue” his café financially, to show that he “deserves” to have friends, that he “deserves” this life. Yes, he went through great risks to help his friends when they were in need, especially Four in IGBP. But he still wants to prove it.
(I’ll talk about it more about Three’s character on a later post.)
So, Mr Puzzles wasn’t all wrong; Three was “pure of heart” in a sense, he just has trouble showing his true emotions and being vulnerable again. After all, the first person he was vulnerable to was Terrence and we all know how that went.
And what about Eggdog?
Three literally came out of a flash drive so he doesn't have a biological family (or preprogrammed...because of the cosmology lore?). During the classic era, no one really treated him nicely. So, for Eggdog and additionally Terrence, he treated them with absolute devotion. Always reminding them that they are special, that they're loved. That they are never alone.
The difference was that Three was careful of Eggdog's whereabouts, while Terrence was always with him and minding his own business, including the Revelations movie. Three will always love Terrence, and to prove how good a parent he truly was, Terrence said a final "I love you" to Three.
He wasn't going to make the same mistake with Eggdog. Whenever Eggdog gets hurt, Three comes rushing to his side to ensure he is okay. Three keeps a close eye on him but when it comes to the bug mission, Three would have Eggdog stay at home or have a backup plan if Eggdog does come along. He just can't lose another loved one.
“YOU LOOK PEAK, BROTHER.”
Let’s cut ahead to when Witch!4 was giving compliments to a version of “him” inside the TV. Admittedly, this is just a bit.
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HOWEVER, I overanalyze stuff soooooo…...
Remember how I said that Mr Puzzles sees Four in a negative light?
In IGBP, there was the hallway scene with Three, Meggy, and Mario discovering the paintings being replaced with messages. As Three states, these messages were his thoughts, how Four painted himself in a negative light. Four made sure to hide his low self-esteem well from his friends but it always lingered in the shadows.
Mario wasn't wrong: the person who "wrote" them was indeed a good person.
Mr Puzzles, however, showed the opposite. That Four set himself up on a pedestal, as someone who sees himself as righteous. A narcissist. And how? By being the “TV, TV on the Wall” and pretending to be Witch!4 on the screen giving compliments to the actual Witch!4 how perfect he is.
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YOU’RE INVITED!
This is more of a parallel than anything. In the story, Princess!3 gets “invited” to King Bob’s Ballin’ Ball, the invite literally being launched to him by Witch!4.
In the IGBP arc, Three got invited to do a collab with Mr Yeast through his stream in ‘SMG4... Are You Ok?’ episode. While Four may have not been the one who brought in Mr Yeast for him, it was because of Four’s crew that made Three went through a new path in his life from the end of the Youtube Arc, being Lord of the Internet Graveyard, and becoming a streamer which got him the collab. So, indirectly, Four brought Mr Yeast to Three.
A (FAILING) PLAN
Fast forward through the story, Princess!3 strolls around the ball, Witch!4 instructs Prince Luigi to give Princess!3 the apple to make him "the ugliest princess" and Witch!4 would become the fairest of them all. As expected, it failed miserably, and Witch!4 had to improvise and come up with a new plan.
In IGBP, Four also had a plan when he was starting to create the perfect video, stocking his room with enough food for him to last. He made multiple attempts to create the video, feeling unsatisfied with every version he made.
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MR. LUIGI
OMG, Mr L? Nah, I’m just kidding.
In all seriousness, though, I did find it fascinating that Prince Luigi basically turned Mr Yeast, the catalyst of IGBP. Hmmm….
THE TALLEST TOWER
By Witch!4’s instructions, Mr Luigi kidnaps Princess!3 and puts him in the tallest tower.
In IGBP, there is a scene where the rescuing trio finds SMG4’s classic design before it awakens and traps Three with him, making Meggy and Mario find Four to rescue them both. Curiously, the final showdown with Possessed!4 and Monster!3 waiting for them took place in the tallest tower of Peach’s castle.
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A DOLLAR (…AND A BLOCK OF “CHEESE”)
In Mr Yeast fashion, he proposes a challenge that whoever save the princess gets a dollar, before he gets pushed off the tower by Princess!3. Realizing that he might need help, Princess!3 was able to get Mario to save him, promising that one dollar and an additional block of "cheese". In all technicality, Mario was completing the challenge.
In the IGBP arc, Mario completed a challenge created by Mr Yeast, making spaghetti while in a crashing plane. And, would you look at that? Food was involved too!
FOUR'S VILLAIN SONG
Told you we would come back to it! Better than what Disney’s Wish could ever do, Witch!4 sings how great being a villain was and how you just can’t go wrong with a great villain song. An absolute classic.
I do want to point out the first few lines of Four’s musical number:
I’ve gotta be honest with you, There’s many reasons I like being the villain, from just chillin’ to killin’ to tyrannically instilling fear, unto unwilling peasants who crossed my path…
Again, this shouldn’t be taken that seriously, but knowing how Mr Puzzles perceives him to be, this meant a lot more. Four, being the ‘villain’ of IGBP, was “tyrannically instilling fear” unto his friends who ‘prevented’ him from creating the perfect video. This, for the most part, was how Mr Puzzles saw it since IGBP was a horror parody. In reality, the crew was worried for him, not scared of him. Sure, there were moments when they were confused about Four’s extreme behavior but they were more worried about his wellbeing. Mr Puzzles didn’t know what that was like, to have someone worried for another’s wellbeing.
BOOPKINS
Yes, even Boopkins gets a spot on here! In the story, when Mario brought Sir Boopkins to save Princess!3, Princess!3 immediately regrets his life choices. Boopkins, on the other hand, doesn’t listen to what Princess!3’s yelled to Mario and attempts to save him… miserably.
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It directly mirrors in IGBP, how Boopkins tried to defeat the keyboard demon with the ‘power of friendship and love’.
Love wins! Love always wins!
[It's Gotta Be Perfect]
He isn't wrong, a lot of the arcs were resolved because of love between friends, family, and partners. The good guys indeed win, but not without sacrifice. They kept their promise, but not without loss.
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IGBP was no different. While ‘love always wins’ is true, Boopkins went about it the wrong way, thinking the demon itself would have a change of heart. Three was the one who somehow did it correctly and was able to save Four at the end.
Wow. Love does win, huh?
FAIREST OF THEM ALL
After Sir Boopkins’ failed attempt, Witch!4 comes in, riding a dragon, saying to Princess!3:
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“Ha ha! You will never be saved, princess, and I shall be fairest of them all!”
[Once Upon An SMG4]
Do remember that scene?
Good.
Now imagine that moment in IGBP when Four had to choose to save Three or the flash drive that contained the video they made:
You will never be saved, Three, and I will have the perfect video!
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…Ain’t that wild?
Then, it begs the question: Did Mr Puzzles want Three to die? Actually, no, he wanted Four dead. Remember back in the movie when the tentacles of the keyboard demon dragged Four back into the desk. Four knew he couldn’t leave so Four begged Three to leave him there and accepted that the whole incident was his fault. And it did seem like the end for him.
Plot twist: Three snapped him (or I guess slapped him) out of it and stayed alongside Four so he could help finish the video. It was because of Three that Four was finally freed from the cursed keyboard and it was because of Three admitting that they are friends that Four made his final decision. If Three wasn’t there, Four would’ve become a monster like Peach did or Four would have to sacrifice Three because he was traumatized to the point that he needs the video.
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Perhaps it didn’t go how Mr Puzzles intended it to be but hey, it was entertainment, so he had let it slide for now.
FAIREST FIGHT 2024
Back to the story, Mario proposes that Witch!4 and Princess!3 should have a contest to see who really is the fairest. And so began the Fairest Fight 2024, consisting of three (3) challenges for three (3) judges to see who earns the title of the “fairest of them all”. Let’s begin with the first challenge:
ATTRACTING NOBLE HEROES CHALLENGE
Princess!3 was able to convince one hero with the weak promise of friendship while Witch!4 offering a lifetime sub to his OF, beating Princess!3 this round.
It parallels how it was in the outside world where Three, still trying his best, makes attempts to be popular while Four, already being incredibly popular, can easily attract his audience with his memes. But it also shows how Four is willing to dedicate a lot of his time and effort to making people happy while Three is still cautious about how open he should be to other people.
KISSING A FROG CHALLENGE
Okay, obviously, it's supposed to be a ‘princess and the frog’ reference. Just a bit, but it could mean something more. First off, to get this out of the way, I find it interesting that when Witch!4 tried to kiss a frog, the frog turned into Kermit and practically made him lose the challenge (Three didn’t either btw). It mirrored how in IGBP, Four kept using Kermit clips to make this perfect video, refusing to use any other material which eventually caused him to go insane.
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With that out of the way, let’s get to the deep analysis part of this challenge:
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As IGBP has taught us, relationships are complicated and complex. It takes time and dedication to stay but it also needs balance. As emotions are involved, it can be hard for others to completely understand the situation but, as Three has done, it’s possible to try.
We already made a connection of this episode being a twist of IGBP, so this could be applied here, how Four and Three approach a supposed relationship, in two ways:
(1) The frogs represent the new people that will enter each of their lives
When Four gets involved romantically and/or platonically with someone new who we call Person A, he can be a bit forward towards this person, but he is willing to commit to it. Person A however would either (1) end the relationship or (2) die. This leaves Four shocked.
When Three gets involved romantically and/or platonically with someone new (Person B), he is willing to risk it all. Usually, he is cautious about what he does but Person B somehow convinced him that they are the exception. Person B, like the poisonous frog, would either (1) use emotional manipulation to hurt 3 to a certain end or (2) be the cause of his death.
(2) The frogs represent each other — the Axol X Melony Theory(???)
That’s right, SMG34 shippers, it’s our time now. While SMG34 ship has been incredibly well-known in the fandom and the people behind the SMG4 show, we know it’s not going to become canon, mostly due to homophobia from certain fans, and the ship isn't meant to be treated seriously. But there are also too many moments that allude to the idea that they can be canon. Even reactors are starting to notice, a few lowkey “ship” them (which is honestly insane). In ‘SMG4: Plane Trip’ episode, Swag and Four had a bit of a bonding moment. Swag mentioned Sonic, his wife, as family. Four mentions how he feels the same (about being in a romantic relationship) and “having someone back home [himself]”, there he is presented with a locket. Again, this could all be a joke with well-known crack ships (memes, Dasani, computer, etc). Strangely though, the punchline never came.
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They didn’t have time to put it in.
No, because all it takes is a few seconds to shift to Four’s POV and show THE DAMN PHOTO. BUT THEY DIDN’T!
*proceeds to scream into a pillow*
…Uh, anyway, some reactors suspected the person in the locket was Three. If reactors had the mere thought about Three and Four being together, then you know something really is up between those two. Sure, fandom talk. But like, if someone who you didn’t expect at all says that they might be gay, then the signals they give off must be really loud.
If the slightest chance this ship is ever going to be canon, then the Frog Challenge would be the slickest foreshadowing they had ever done, and yet brings up a whole lot of dread for the SMG34 shippers. At the end of WOTFI 2023, Three drew himself and Four enjoying a cup of coffee together, which seems oddly similar to Melony’s drawing of her and Axol (and vice-versa with Axol’s Confession Page).
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If the theory is going to come true and the Kissing A Frog Challenge is going to allude to something, then it could mean two things:
(1) Either Four or Three would be with someone else, leaving the other heartbroken and therefore, their crush on them “died”
(2) Four or Three would confess to the other their feelings, but it would be too late and the other would be destined to die
Oh boy, ok. Let’s take a moment here to take a breather off the screen and pray for the shippers that the Axol X Melony Theory would not come true, regardless if the ship is ever going to be canon.
TRY NOT TO GET KIDNAPPED CHALLENGE
Stepping away from the Kissing Frog Challenge, we hop into this challenge, where the two avoid getting themselves kidnapped by Shrek. Princess!3 came up with the idea to use Witch!4 as a sort of trade, pointing out Witch!4’s features as selling points (with Princess!3 puking at the end there). According to Witch!4, they were "the worst selling points" he ever heard and it still worked. Princess!3 beat the challenge and placed the two of them in a complete tie.
Say it with me now: it’s just a bit.
And yet again I say: hear me out…
It shows that Three accepts Four’s flaws. Sure, there might be things that Three might find annoying about Four but he doesn’t hate Four. Especially, after IGBP, they connected more than ever. When they are in desperate need, they find each other. When one feels down or upset, the other notices. It makes sense, considering that they’re cosmically linked. But somehow, thanks to IGBP, they became close and already saw parts of each other's worst side. Four already accepts that Three is a former villain but Three of all people also accepts Four for who he is.
THE WINNER
The points have been tallied and judges make their decision, declaring Princess!3 as the official winner. Along with the title of being the “fairest”, he gets a wish. Twist of the episode: Three breaks the fourth wall and wishes to escape Mr Puzzles’ control. Then, Godmother Puzzles swoops in and restores the natural order of his script. Again, it’s plain and simple: Three is begging the audience to help them find an escape from this nightmare.
…well…
Notice how the one who broke the tie between the two was Mr Luigi, giving the last point to Princess!3, just as how Mr Yeast preferred to collab with Three instead of Four.
Remember how I said being the fairest is the equivalent of being perfect from that line told by Witch!4? This scene isn’t telling us that Three is perfect, but rather Four is imperfect. For the audience, we know that no one is perfect and that is okay. To quote from the animated show, Arcane:
"In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good."
[Arcane, S1 EP9]
From Mr Puzzles’ perspective and his ideology of being perfect, imperfection sounds like a bad thing.
The part where Princess!3 won was the same way how Three “won” in IGBP. Princess!3 won by getting what he wanted since the beginning of the story: money. Three, being the protagonist of IGBP, the 'good guy', won by beating the demonic keyboard and saving his partner.
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
And that is “Once Upon An SMG4”, a twisted version of “It’s Gotta Be Perfect”. One that Mr Puzzles would have preferred. But it’s not over yet, my dear fellows, as every story has a sequel.
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“And SMG4, who knew you could play an antagonist so well! High marks from me.”
[SMG4: Puzzlevision Movie]
A new arc is approaching leading up to WOTFI 2024 and if the 'SMG4: Inside Out' episode has anything to go by, IGBP really affected Four. Perhaps we don't get to see it through his behavior but he still remembers it. (hmm, how curious that Once Upon an SMG4 gets an appearance here...🤔) According to Inside Out 2 movie, orange symbolizes anxiety, meaning that Four is terrified that he might cause another IGBP incident. Naturally, problems can't easily be resolved and at times, they relapse.
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In the actual plot of the episode, Four drank that carton of "special brain juice" with Mr Puzzles' face plastered on it. This is a major problem:
(1) Because of Anger taking control of Four's emotions, Four destroyed the carton, getting rid of the only evidence there was for anyone else to make the connection that Mr Puzzles is up to something.
(2) He was alone when he did this. Remember: Three placed a hidden camera in Four's room when he decorated it. It has been confirmed in the actual merch with Three stating in his notebook that "it was a mistake" putting it there. We don't exactly know why he did it, but it can be assumed that he just wanted to keep tabs on Four to make sure another IGBP incident doesn't happen. If he couldn't use the camera, he would stop by to check up on him, making fake excuses on why he came. Except when Four took the carton, it was in the kitchen and Three wasn't able to come over to the castle.
At the end of the episode, we can assume that Mr Puzzles has taken control of Four's mind and used him to his advantage. With WOTFI 2024 coming up and new arcs beyond that, it will be up to the crew to rescue Four once again and stop Mr Puzzles from taking creative control of their real lives...
That is another post for me to work on but in the meantime, that’s just a theory…
AN SMG4 THEORY
🎶Thanks for dropping by🎶
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yourclumsyguardianangel · 1 year ago
Text
the seven + a few others future headcanons
percy:
becomes a high school teacher
teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)
also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach
annabeth:
we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture
learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally
has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture
learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals
her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off
piper:
love her but shes a nepo baby
she doesnt act like it tho
”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”
loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi
marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights
is basically leos big sister atp
leo:
him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding
they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends
he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop
starts smoking cigarettes/vaping
his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so
goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma
they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it
he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him
piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship
hazel:
my girl stays at camp jupiter
takes nicos place at camp
horse trainer
her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho
hazel often visits leo in his shop
as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo
not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids
they all call her ms. hazel
she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)
wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO
frank:
my friggin HOMIE
i relate to frank a lot personality wise
therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO
hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties
but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”
other than that hes a great leader
after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)
him joining the military does not make sense to me
he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war
he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals
when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong
”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”
jason:
rip home-slice
nico:
my other homie
my guy does not get taller than 5’8
stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids
him and will get a house together
teaches history at the camp school
cat dad (5 cats and counting)
will:
takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler
him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT
EMTs are hotter anyways
does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time
if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students
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