#i am actively trying to keep myself from putting this much work into my posts with depressing results

[thethingything]

deleted a bunch of the posts from yesterday because the paranoia finally caught up with me 🙃 but anyway we can't taste properly, we're constantly shaky and wheezy and dizzy, and the cough we've got has gotten significantly worse, and I called our GP to ask about paxlovid or similar treatment and got dismissed before I could even speak to a doctor and I really, really just want to go scream at someone but that would be a shitty thing to do.

I fucking hate that people keep going out while ill and not taking even basic precautions to avoid infecting others. I hate that we're basically at the mercy of everyone else because no matter how hard we try people still infect us and doctors just end up dismissing us. this is... what, like the 6th time we've had covid and we don't even fucking go outside.

I just want a break. I just want to be able to get on with life and get my shit together without being constantly screwed over by other people's reckless decisions and a frankly ridiculous amount of bad luck

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

#omg i love the GT-R since i was five #would you talk more about the R33 please?? #Gran Tourismo (the first one) was my favorite game and it made me autistic

Sure thing! In fact, writing this post dragged me into a little research whirlpool, so it ended up a lot longer than intended too! Whoopsie. Oh, and there's also a wonderful little secret about them under the cover of this Read More ;)

So then: to talk about the R33, one must talk about the R32 it was an evolution of.

Nissan hadn't had a Skyline GT-R in a while, so when, with the R32 generation, they revamped a name born from one of the hardest homologation specials of the time, it needed to be something special. And as we established, it was. But how so? Well, they gave it not just All Wheel Drive, but an intelligent AWD system called ATTESA E-TS. ATTESA stands for Advanced Total Traction Engineering System for All-terrain (which really sounds like a bacronym, but while attesa is an Italian noun, since it means "wait" I must imagine this just another Pajero situation) and E-TS stands for Electronic Torque Split (not to be confused with E-ST which stands for E STands for), as this was a computerized system that checked in on how them tires were doing 10 times a second. And you thought your mom was bad.

And the source of that torque was quite special too: the renowned RB26DETT, one of the most legendary and desirable Japanese engines ever made. Now, you know how in the other Nissan engine we went over, the SR20DET, the T stood for Turbo? Yeah. I think you can piece things together here. But why two turbos? Well, it was still the 80s (the 80s!) and turbos still very much suffered from turbo lag, so to get the performance of a large turbo but with better response and more linear power delivery they used two smaller turbos instead, which worked wonders. Now, of course, did this keep a bunch of people from chucking them away in favor of a single turbo large enough to house a family just to set off from the tuning shop with a power chart where the point of a hockey puck silhouette edges part the thousand mark and try to survive all four wheels losing traction at every gas stomp so as to make it to their friends' house to go brag and boast? I don't know, I can't remember how this question started. Oh, did this stop them from doing it. No.

So the thing is, after the revolution that the R32 GT-R was, the R33 was kind of an evolution. It used the same engine (and due to the gentlemen's agreement it even had to be rated at the same power), it still used the ATTESA system, it did the same thing around the Nürburgring as the GT-R before and every GT-R since (i.e. break the production car record, lol)... basically, there was no real headline feature relative to the R32, which is why the R33 doesn't really get as much attention as the generations beside it.

But after all, that just means it's an R32 but even better (looks some could argue to be a bit fresher, a couple strengthened bits all around, a revised AWD system, airbags -which took me ages to remember because my classic car ownership leads me to forget that's a thing that matters- and hell, a newer car all around!). So really, who gives a crap about attention?

And while I would normally end here, I made the grave mistake of deciding to go over the ton of special versions, so *sigh* here goes nothing:

The GT-R V-Spec, which had larger wheels standard, Brembo brakes, an intelligent limited slip differential and a positively Bonnie-and-Clyde'd front bumper. According to the Nissan website, the engine "is same as that of standard GT-R, but the car’s performances are more splendid". Verbatim quote, that.

The Autech 40th Anniversary, with which Nissan tuning division Autech celebrated guess what it celebrated no really guess by essentially making a GT-R sedan, which is cool but where's mah wing tho? >:C

The LM, which was a special car they built as a homologation special for their Le Mans racecars. Note I said "special car", not "special model", because since the rules didn't say how much that road car had to sell, Nissan only made one. And kept it. Fuckers.

Do note how the wider fenders with no hole for the corner of the headlights meant they had to put parking lights next to the indicators, but since the headlights are a single piece the corner of the headlights is still there, it's just covered by the fenders. I would be SO curious to find out if there's a bulb in it. Because, like, presumably they just took headlights from the production line where they presumably have all the bulbs installed before putting them on the cars, right? Did they bother taking them out? I'm alone in caring about this, aren't I.

The LM Limited, a little special spec of GT-R and V-Spec R33s with a very cool blue they made 188 of to celebrate the R33's 0 Le Mans wins.

The NISMO 400R (why are we yelling?), where 400 stood for the horsepower from the bonafide racing engine (oh that's why). Yep, this was such a brazen car that it openly said "fuck your gentlemen's agreement, do I look like a gentleman". And indeed it doesn't. It used a sleuth of carbon fiber and titanium bits back in the 90s when that just wasn't a thing in the automotive space - bits that weren't used nor sold anywhere else and thus cost absolutely unfathomable cheddar. Like, the strut bar? The little bit of metal between the two sides of the engine bay? One sold for NINE GRAND, because the only way to get one is to rip one from a 400R, of which, faithful to its name, they only made 400 tenths of them. Ah, right, we're on the gay site - that equates to forty. The cars themselves are so desired that two of them are responsible for an auction site crash - one for excessive site traffic and the other because the price reached a higher number than the site could cope with.

And sadly, more ordinary Skylines got a lot more expensive too, their prices having climbed miles clear of four-digit territory and well into the 20s even for more sedate GTS-Ts or plain ol' normal Skylines (we tend to forget the Skyline is just An Car™) - even in their homeland. It appears cheap Skylines no longer really exist.

*sinks into the jacket collar, glancing left and right before leaning in with a whisper*

Except, as it turns out, in Mother Russia. You can find Skylines treated and priced like the three decade-old mid-range sedan/coupes they are for days.

And as I was discussing the situation with a dear mutual, I found out something truly spectacular that doesn't really have much to do with the R33 but I am going to share with you anyway because it is just too crazy not to.

And lastly, since I feel this post about a videogame screenshot featuring Pop Team Epic really hasn't gone all over the place enough, have this beautiful drawing by holeecrab!

Links in blue are posts of mine explaining the words in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

hmmm

[honeytonedhottie]

getting it together⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🗒️

there are so many aspects in getting it together, and even the phrase "get it together" its super vague and not rly encapsulating of anything in particular so i hope this post helps give u a place to start when u feel like u need to get it together…💬🎀

REMEMBER ;

when u feel the need to get it together, ask urself questions. why do i feel the need to get it together? am i doing too much am i doing too little etc etc. that way u can better navigate and pinpoint the aspect in which u have to get it together.

DIET AND PHYSICAL ACTIVITY ;

♡ am i eating enough nutritious foods? - start incorporating fresh fruits and veggies and foods that nourish u into ur daily diet

♡ am i eating enough everyday? - meal prep so that u can be sure that ur eating enough food every day cuz ur body needs sustenance

♡ am i eating too much everyday? - if u catch urself binge eating and indulging in eating an unhealthy amount everyday, lay back on snacking and stick to eating three filling meals a day.

♡ am i moving my body everyday? - go on walks, do some yoga or some pilates. dont cultivate a lifestyle in which ur constantly sitting and not moving cuz thats not healthy.

EDUCATION -> CAREER GOALS ;

♡ am i completing my assignments and handing them in on time? - if ur not then ur just shooting urself in the foot. do all of ur assignments and hand them in. like now.

♡ am i still focused on my dream? - if not, what do u feel is stopping u from pursuing ur dream, or what is distracting u from what actually matters? identify it and drop it.

RELATIONSHIPS ;

♡ am i isolating myself subconsciously from my friends/family? - if the answer is yes, try and figure out why and communicate with ur friends and family.

♡ am i making an effort to speak to my friends and see them? - maintaining healthy relationships takes work on both ends. you need to show ur friends that u value them and care about ur friendship for it to work. this also goes for romantic relationships.

INNER WORK AND HEALING ;

♡ am i setting aside time to do my inner work? - if not, make time bcuz ur mental health isn't something u should sweep under the rug.

♡ how do i feel? - literally that simple. be nice to urself. ask urself how u feel because ur feelings matter + they're valid.

HOW TO KEEP URSELF ON TRACK ;

use planning devices like notion, google calendar or just a simple to do list every single day. make sure not to put too much on ur plate at first. reward urself also to encourage urself to continue to do what u said you'll do.

[ao3cassandraic]

Flooding the zone

Like many in the US right now, I'm having trouble holding my shit together. It's a day-by-day, night-by-nightmare thing. I do not read mainstream news. I have what social media I have left (including this hellsite) filtered to hell and back, because it doesn't take much to send me into a spiral.

So if that's you too right now, I feel you, and I swear I'm not writing this post to make it worse.

I'm writing it to ask us to think about what we're saying and doing and how we're spending our energy.

I'm not a political scientist, but I read a few. I'm not a labor theorist, but I am a union member and officer. Our situation in the US rhymes with other situations, geographically and historically, and one thing that's crystal clear is there are ways to stop this shit and it takes numbers and actions and often time.

The numbers are maybe smaller than you think? That one surprised me. Active resistance from maybe 5% of the population has stopped coups cold.

The rub is, best I can tell, that it's hard to say exactly which actions are gonna turn the tide, never mind when -- this shit's complicated and contextual and frequently opportunistic (as with President Yoon's faceplant in South Korea) such that even hindsight gets a bit murky.

So it seems to me that what it makes sense to do is flood the zone, as they say in American football, and keep flooding it. And yeah, that's a Steve Bannonism too, but what our enemies lack in ethics and care they make up for in cold hard strategy, so why not steal it from them?

(Part of my thinking is George Lakoff, too. Smart dude. Decent one, too. Check him out.)

Flood the zone with truth. Flood the zone with defiance -- it's our country too! Flood the zone with hope.

And not just once, but many times, because we can never know in advance the one time that'll put us over the top. Also because like almost any serious endeavor, resistance takes practice. As we practice, we get habituated to the practice and we get stronger and better at the practice!

I can attest to this myself. I spent most of my adult life pretty lousy at civic engagement (never mind resistance), if I'm honest. I voted routinely, but that was about it. I started switching it up in 2011 (I'm a Sconnie and Scott Walker sure did happen), though -- protests, donations, working the polls, union membership and then service, contacting my legislators, more protests, campaign work, some other stuff.

And now a lot of the above list is plain old routine, for me? It's ordinary as weather. It's just part of how I live my life. I bet civic engagement, including in the form of resistance, can become that way for you, too.

I believe a fair few of us can step onto the same road I've been on if we redirect some of our existing efforts -- because doomscrolling is an effort, venting is an effort, doomsaying and amplifying doomsayers is an effort. Let me gently suggest:

Instead of doomscrolling or ruminating: meditation, spiritual or religious practice if you have one, exercise if it's available to you, reading books or fanfic, doing puzzles or brainteasers (I have developed such a Squaredle habit).

If you can't scratch the doomscroll itch unless you're looking at something political, try Mariame Kaba or Rebecca Solnit or even Ezra Klein. If the problem is the doomscroll finding you, filters and blocks and getting away from algorithm-personalized platforms can likely help, and that last is a good idea all by itself.

Instead of venting to social media or into the void: vent at elected officials! You don't have to start with phone calls, or do them at all (I rarely do) -- remember, we're flooding the zone, and the zone's pretty big. Email or Resistbot or postcards are totally fine. More fun in groups -- postcard with friends!

If you can, try to angle your conversational contributions online and off-, including what you reblog/retoot/boost, away from venting and toward action and hope. This doesn't have to be because you're actually feeling hope -- it absolutely can be (and for me often is) a conscious strategy to develop fellow travelers and discipline my own mind and hands.

Instead of doomsaying, express hope and love and solidarity. Again, you don't always have to feel it -- it's a conscious organizing strategy, get me? If it helps you feel more hope and more solidarity yourself, and it may (especially as others respond to it), that's a grateful bonus.

Or consider a swear-jar strategy. Catch yourself doomsaying? Make a donation or email a legislator or whatever -- just decide on a useful action you'll take when you slip up, and hold yourself to it. Every time.

It's not hard to find people who say that all the above is performative, it's not action, it's not effective, ka-blah-ka-blah-ka-blah. I say that we damned well don't know that and that lots of small efforts from lots of people is totally how zones get flooded.

I also say that everyone starts somewhere, and that the zone ain't gonna flood itself.

Redirect even a little effort to flood the zone with me, please? Thank you. And my love to you and to all of us in these times.

[i-ate-your-dog-srry]

Hey!!! :3 psstttt!!

An ...apology..? post nobody asked for!!!

I've been saying I'm going to be coming back for a while! And then doing it for a day and falling out of it again!!! >u< I think I'm putting way too much on myself!

So, in full, I'll be taking a probably longer pause on:

@niron-the-neons-daily-blog

@daycare-au

@charlie-chime-in

@zuris-ask-blog

@ruperts-ask-blog

Although it's not as if i was quite actively working all those in the first place! (╥﹏╥) i will also be taking no more commissions for a while! I can't work at a pace that I feel appropriate in the head space I am right now! :3

I have been struggling to find motivation to post to those blogs, and thinking of them at the moment gives me pretty bad anxiety and paranoia! X] I feel as if I'm letting people down by not consistently working on the project of the welcome home AU specifically! But looking at it from a standpoint of reality, im sure nobody wants to head hunt me for not answering an ask, but still!!! .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.

Im sorry for taking so long with everything!!! I just want to make all my friends happy all the time because they deserve it!!! But I think i go super insane over little things! i can't help but feel people won't like me anymore if i stop drawing things! (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

What im trying to say is!: to everyone who i promise drawings to im sorry! I want to draw for everyone because I love drawing for people! But then i draw too much! Too many wips-!!! Then I feel i am being unfair! I guess i just offer a lot that I can't give! Maybe this is too forward, but i wanted to say i don't mean to upset anyone with false promises!! I hate when people are upset with me, and ironically, that's what seems to get me into these situations and then keep me stuck in them!!! (ó﹏ò｡)

So I'm sorry for probably disappointing a lot of people!!! ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

I have to work on not immediately trying to offer things to people! TUT

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[kanagenwrites]

Hey folks. My name is Kanagen (It's pronounced Ka-na-ngen. Kana is fine.), and I'm a writer. I mostly write sci-fi with a more or less sapphic bent, and I'm not shy about putting lewd content in what I write because fuck petty moralism.

I'm active in the Human Domestication Guide writing community, where apart from being an author (see below), I'm also a Loret, which means I help maintain and update the lore of the setting, help new creators with questions about it or how to fit a story into it, and so on. All of my publicly available fiction at the moment is HDG content, but I plan on working more on my own original settings and concepts in the future.

I have a Patreon, where I post my current long-form project's drafts chapter by chapter, once weekly. I also occasionally talk about my writing process. I'm hoping to expand content there in the future as well.

I don't use social media very much because I remember what the internet used to be like before walled gardens and techbros ruined it. (You kids really don't know what you're missing.) Nevertheless, the life of a freelance writer rather demands I put myself out there somehow, so here I am. You can also follow me on Bluesky, if you want. Ask me questions, behold the weird stuff I reblog, and try not to get too parasocial with me. I'm just a weird lady who puts words in funny shapes.

Bibliography

Long-Form Fiction

To Dine on Dust (ongoing) - A detective walks the streets of a weird, Jazz-Age Neo-Assyrian Empire that never was, trying to track down a missing goddess. A noir mystery-thriller with ancient Mesopotamian flavor, the coruscating power of divinities and the dead, and of course lesbians. Lots and lots of lesbians. This is one of my stories, after all. This is my current project, and unlike my HDG work, I won't be liveposting it publicly every week; if you want to know more about it, check out my Patreon.

Human Domestication Guide

Long-Form Fiction

No Gods, No Masters - A revolutionary leftist copes with the subtle differences between her own idea of the perfect world and the just-a-little-off version of it the Affini offer. First novel-length work in the Tillandsia Trilogy; highly suggested you read this before The Floret in the Mirror and especially Freedom's Ember.

The Floret in the Mirror - A mystery/thriller about identity, digitization, and impossible simulated lewdness. Content warning for amnesia resulting from traumatic brain injury as part of the setup. Sequel to* No Gods, No Masters*.

Freedom's Ember - Sixty years after the Affini conquered her world, a woman clings to her independence; sixty years after being frozen for cryogenic flight from the Affini, a woman struggles to discover who she really is when freed from her father's influence. What is freedom, and what does it mean in the context of the Compact? Sequel to No Gods, No Masters and The Floret in the Mirror, conclusion of the Tillandsia Trilogy.

Sui Generis - A martian attorney living on Earth finds adjusting to life with the Affini easier than most; she was already keeping her wife as a pet before they arrived. The real question is, where's that strange jealousy coming from?

Short Fiction

Mainspring - A Terran secret agent is captured by the Affini, trapped by artist for whom his body is a canvas, and she means to make of him her magnum opus. Wind-up doll content, and probably my most commonly cited story for "this rewired my brain"-style reactions.

Reading the Leaves - A tea-obsessed barista, an affini new to humanity, and a sweet (if awkward) romance culminating in a very raunchy ending. Entry for the HDG February Fluff Fic Jam 2024.

The Fifth Fundamental Force - This story is a silly joke. It should not be taken seriously, though many inevitably do.

Aftertaste (stalled) - A former quadrillionaire and epicure who just barely avoided domestication is tracked down by an affini culinary anthropologist who wants to use his brain to reconstruct a lost flavor using his long-buried memory - he was the last human to ever taste bluefin tuna. This fic is only sporadically updated because the stars must precisely align for my brain to be in a state to write boyliker fic. Sorry, I'm just really gay, y'all.

[vorecommunitywoes]

Okay, I don’t want this placed on my own blog as I’ve disowned the whole vore community, but as I was a major voice in my teens I really NEED people to hear me when I say this community is not safe for kids and why.

I was Bioluminescent-Bat. I was the coiner of the tag “extreme cuddling.” I do not think people understand what horrible things they’re getting into, so I’m sharing my story here as a cautionary tale.

I was 15 when I was a big name in the community. I left Tumblr’s when I was 18; the overarching community at 21. I was drawn into the community due to my interest in biology & wildlife science; I’d been pretty consistently writing these tropes for most of my life as a mechanism for exploring mutualistic relationships with species. My involvement, however, started on Deviantart at 13. People over there convinced me that this interest was/had to be vore vs just a STEM/character design interest, and that they kept theirs like a “dirty secret” / not to talk about it with others. I was encouraged to write the subject matter into my works up to almost pornographic detail, with their guise of it just being “detailed” biology discussion. The attention I received became a dopamine rush with each new writing piece, where I was desperate to please an audience. An audience with no respect for my boundaries (kept pressing for fatal/digestion, outright smut, some really weird kinks I wasn’t even old enough to process WERE kinks, etc).

On Tumblr, folks adored the little rambles and blurbs I would do on the subject matter. I was not prepared to be put that much on a pedastal in my mid teens, and deeply regret that I was. Several individuals noticed me as I became more known, and pretended to be mentors within that space. Within a Skype group I was discussing with them, they outwardly discussed vore kink-related stuff (by which I mean folks eating strange & dangerous objects for fun) all while being aware I was a teen at the time. This they denied being kink related because they were “nonsexually interested” but supposedly just “respected those who were kinky” as though they weren’t part of that group. Due to Skype’s automatic deletion/hiding of messages two years back, I cannot retrieve these. But this is more so background than anything else.

The individuals within this group (glowinside, tastylittletiny, and Spartaku17) essentially made me the figurehead of the “sfw” side. By telling me that the vore was nonsexual, I believed them and thought it was fine. I was encouraged by them to continue writing the content, posting the writings and asks, and were more or less my biggest fans at the time. They actively packed around me (especially the first two) and told me to ignore anyone trying to convince me otherwise as it was just “harassment.” I was never once told to avoid the kinky spheres (or told how to identify them), and was often pressured to ignore my boundaries to “not exclude the other sides” and therefore pushed much further than I should’ve. They also showed high interest in “recruitment” type efforts wherein I was pressured to “educate” my peers regarding the trope (to those who were with me on that ride, I cannot even begin to express how sorry I am. I hope you are recovering well and have managed to break your chains from that horrible place.)

When I turned 18, I discovered that I was Demisexual. This was immediately used for blackmail. I was told by the nsx side that I had to essentially keep an “UwU wholesome” energy to myself (nonsexual, not a breath of darkness in theme, etc), because if I so much as looked into anything outside of the “SFW” areas as an adult, I would be “proving” I was lying and essentially lose the rights to my autonomy. This also branched into “having permission” to strip my asexual identity away from me. I should not have to explain how fucked that is.

To people outside of the specific cultlike circle I was in, I was presumed to be much older than I was and accused of being a groomer for echoing my abusers’ beliefs. Instead of asking, this was assumed and pushed me in deeper. This was made worse by said groomers insisting I stay away from anything labeled 18+ only - many of which WERE people my age just chilling out and existing. So I was actively therein forced to either give up the right to my autonomy, or be forced to babysit kids to “protect them from people who would hurt them” for two more years. The call was coming from inside the house the whole damn time. This is when I removed myself from the spaces themselves, but only fully processed and disowned it March of this year. I’m still recovering from the damage of a decade’s manipulation.

Now, I do not believe that people who have nonsexual interest in the concept are lying. I’m amidst this group, where my interest is predominantly thematic & Demisexual in nature. However, there is a difference between sexual and “safe for work.” Plenty of nonsexual things can be mature in nature and need to be left to adults. This is where the community falters. Vore still overlaps way too much with the explicit sides, and is NOT for children. I’ve seen far too many people getting chained into this idea that if they just label their work as SFW they’ll be safe - and no. You’re not. The entire community has a common theme of trashing consent for their own kicks; the place isn’t even safe for the ADULTS in it. Anyone who says otherwise is lying, or has been made to think that way.

I’m begging minors not to listen to people coaxing you into a fetish space. Use your mental energy on making some cool monsters & study biology instead. Just don’t believe the “SFW” side of any kink-based community has your best interests at heart. Trust your gut. You’ll thank me later

.

[bradshawssugarbaby]

Full of Surprises - Bob Floyd x Reader

A/N: Inspired by @galaxy-of-stories's post

pairing: Lt. Robert Floyd x reader

warnings/content: virgin!bob x fem reader, oral (f receiving), p in v, swearing, hangman actually being a decent friend towards bob.

word count: 3k

minors dni below the cut

Bob chewed on his bottom lip nervously as he watched you from across the beach, his dark blue eyes watching you intensely from behind his wire framed glasses. He rarely took part in off-base activities with the rest of the Dagger squad, but today, he’d been coaxed out by Rooster and Phoenix to join the team for a relaxing beach day. What he didn’t know though, was that you would be there. You were Maverick’s niece, and Bob had pretty much instantly fallen for you. Smart, funny, beautiful and friendly - Bob thought you were the whole package. He loved the way your eyes lit up whenever you spoke about something you were interested in, the way your cheeks blushed whenever Maverick and Rooster started reminiscing about your childhood, having grown up playing with Rooster on occasion when you were little, and he loved the way you were so outgoing, and so unlike him. He always hated his incurable shyness, the fact that he struggled so hard to come out of his shell, he resented it, especially now that it made it next to impossible for him to hold a conversation with you. 

“Hey, Baby-on-Board, you coming?” 

Bob turned his head around to face one of the pilots on his squad, Hangman, calling over to him. Bob rolled his eyes at the nickname Hangman had given him and shook his head quickly, his cheeks turning red again. He prayed that the UV rays were strong enough that day that he could lie and say the reddening of his face was due to too much sun exposure, but he knew that wasn’t likely going to work as an excuse on anyone, much less Hangman. The tall blonde pilot raised an eyebrow at Bob as he folded his arms over his broad chest. 

“Jeez, Bagman, don’t you ever wear a shirt?” Bob laughed dryly as he poked fun at Hangman, who had long ditched his t-shirt to show off his sunkissed skin, trying desperately to attract any female attention he could get on the beach.

“Hey, at least I don’t keep mine on the whole time at the beach.” Hangman shrugged as he sat down on the sand beside Bob. “Why do you anyway? I mean, you do all the same workouts as the rest of us do. It’s because you’re covered in chest hair isn’t it?” Hangman smirked as he playfully shoved Bob, flipping his sunglasses down over his eyes.

“No, I just don’t like to,” Bob shrugged his shoulders, “You know me, I’m not one to draw attention to myself.” 

“I hate to break it to you, Bobby, but you’ve definitely drawn someone’s attention,” Hangman grinned at him as he pointed towards you with his thumb as he spoke, “Mav’s niece hasn’t been able to stop herself from giving you the bedroom eyes, it’s hilarious that you haven’t noticed it yet though.”

“Bedroom eyes?” Bob laughed and shook his head, “What the hell are bedroom eyes?” 

“You know,” Hangman put his sunglasses atop his short blonde hair and grinned, imitating the lustful look he was referring to, the one he was so convinced you had for Bob.

“I have never seen anyone make that face in my life, Bagman. Are you bullshitting me?” Bob raised an eyebrow as he leaned back on his palms in the sand and sighed softly as he watched you again. The breeze blew your long hair back and the sunlight hit your tanned skin just right, making you appear to have a sunkissed glow. The sight alone was almost enough to drive Bob crazy. 

“Hah!” Hangman grinned as he pointed at Bob’s facial expression as he watched you, “You’re doing it to her right now!”

“I am not!” Bob protested, shaking his head. “Look, don’t you have something better to do?”

“No, I know I’m a shitty wingman half the time, but this time, I’m making it my personal mission to be yours.” 

Bob sighed again as he rolled his eyes. He knew he wasn’t winning on this one, and Hangman wasn’t going to leave him alone anytime soon. He just wasn’t ready to make a move on you yet. He’d had a handful of girlfriends over the years, but he’d never gone any further than making out for one reason or another, usually due to nerves. As badly as Bob wanted to, he couldn’t bring himself to be humiliated in front of you.

“I’m fine,” Bob said through clenched teeth. 

“Dude, you can tell me what your hang up is. I’m not gonna go blab it, I promise,” Hangman said, placing his hand over his heart playfully to show that Bob’s secret would be safe with him.

“Fine…” Bob exhaled and shook his head, “I don’t know what the bedroom eyes are or anything because I’ve never, you know…gone to the bedroom…with anyone,” He said as he gave Hangman a pleading look, his facial expression begging him for some sympathy and compassion instead of the relentless teasing he expected from him.

“You mean, never?”

“Never. Not even close. I think I’ve made out with a girl once. I was like 18 though.” 

“Wow,” was all that Hangman could muster out.

“So now you get it?” Bob asked softly, “It’s not that I don’t want to ask her out. It’s that I’m scared I’ll screw it up because of that.”

Bob sighed and shook his head again as he stood up. He brushed the sand off his shorts and forced a laugh.

“I’m gonna head home, Hangman. See you later.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Hangman laughed as he put a hand on Bob’s shoulder, his firm grip stopping Bob from walking away, “You’re at least gonna talk to this poor girl. She’s been interested in you the whole time she’s been here visiting Mav. Christ, even Mav’s noticed it,, and we all know how observant he is.”

“What if you’re wrong though and she’s not interested in me? Maybe she’s just being nice. I bet you’re more her type anyway.” Bob frowned.

“Me? No, she’s uh…she’s made it very clear I am not her type,” He laughed softly, shaking his head, “I tried. She outright told me “the cute guy with glasses” is her type. And how many guys with glasses are on our squad?”

“Just me…unless she meant sunglasses. Then it could be anyone.”

“Robert, I swear, you’re the dumbest guy I’ve ever met sometimes,” Hangman laughed as he rolled his eyes, “She meant you, jackass. She likes you. She told me. Now, what are you going to do with this information?”

“Talk to her…?” Bob tried, a nervous laugh escaping his lips as he thought about it.

“Attaboy, Baby-on-Board, you got this,” Hangman grinned as he stood up, “Now, do me a favour? Try to look a little less like you’re about to shit your pants over this ok?” 

Bob rolled his eyes and took a deep breath as he approached you, a friendly smile on his lips as he nodded his head towards you. 

“Hi, I don’t think I ever properly introduced myself,” Bob offered his hand out to shake and smiled, “Lt. Robert Floyd, everyone calls me Bob, sometimes Bobby though.” 

“Hi Bob,” you grinned and shook his hand, “Y/N. Nice to meet you. My uncle’s told me a lot about you. You’re a WSO, right?”

“Yeah, I’m the backseater, it’s kinda fun, I’m a big nerd, so I get to use a lot of math in it to calculate where to aim the lasers and all that.”

You let out a giggle as he explained his role to you and he couldn’t help but smile and laugh along with you. Hours passed between the two of you conversing together, Hangman proudly watching Bob impress you from the background. After a while, the rest of the squad cleared out from the beach, leaving just you and Bob there by yourselves. It was beginning to get dark outside when you stood up beside Bob and smiled warmly.

“Want to come back to my aunt Penny’s? She’s not gonna care if I bring you over, she and Uncle Mav speak very highly of you. Aunt Penny always says you’re incredibly polite, and Uncle Mav called you a “good kid” so I doubt they’d mind if you came back to hangout for a little while.”

Bob nodded his head and smiled politely at you, the sunset making his eyes shine as he turned to face you. He leaned forward gently and pressed his lips to yours in a soft, gentle kiss. He pulled away after a moment and shook his head. 

“God, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that. I’m not usually that forward. I mean, I wanted to, obviously,  I just normally ask first. And now I’m rambling, fuck sake,” He laughed and shook his head again.

You smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, quieting his anxieties and insecurities as your lips met once again. He moved his lips in time with yours as he kissed you, his tongue tracing along your bottom lip, as if he was asking permission for it to enter your mouth. Your tongues swirled together with passion and lust as you made your way across the sand and over to the front steps of your aunt and uncle’s home where you were staying, your lips barely breaking contact as you walked. You felt Bob put a hand gently on your waist as you pulled him inside through the patio door, into the sunroom where you were staying. You breathlessly pulled away from Bob to come up for air, shrugging your cardigan off your shoulders as you did so. Bob, finding a sudden burst of confidence, grabbed you by the waist with one hand and pulled you into his body tightly, pressing his lips to your neck. As his lips found your sensitive spot on your neck, his hands palmed their way over your breasts, gently cupping them and squeezing them as he felt you up. 

“Mhmm, Bob,” you groaned softly as he made contact with your sensitive skin. 

Bob pulled away for a moment and frowned slightly, remembering his earlier confession to Hangman. He let out a deep exhale before turning to face you, his facial expression full of concern as he spoke.

“Listen, I have to tell you something before we go any further, ok?” His voice was quiet and low, almost in a whisper as he spoke.

You nodded in response and waited, listening intently as Bob spoke.

“I’ve never…you know,” He finally said.

“Never?”

“No, never.”

“Do you want to though…?” You asked after a few moments of contemplation.

Bob bit his lip and laughed softly as he nodded his head quickly. 

“Believe me, I really do.”

“Then I’m honoured to be your first,” You nodded your head and kissed his cheek gently.

His cheeks flushed a bright scarlet red as you spoke. Without further hesitation, Bob leaned in and kissed you passionately again, tangling his fingers gently in your hair as he pulled you in closer to him. He pulled away ever so slightly as he spoke and laughed nervously.

“You’re going to have to tell me if I’m doing any of this right, ok? Kissing is about the only thing I know how to do.”

You giggled softly as you nodded your head reassuringly to Bob as he drifted his lips down your neck to your collarbone. He gently ran his hand up your leg, his fingers brushing against the hemline of your sundress as his hand drifted slowly up your thigh. You felt him take a deep breath as he pressed his lips to your collarbone again, his fingertips grazing your underwear gently. He looked up at you without saying a word, his lips still hovering above your collarbone, as if to ask for permission to keep going. You bit your lip, holding back a grin as you nodded your head, giving him the signal to continue.

Bob’s fingertips grazed against the dampening fabric of your underwear again, moaning softly into your collarbone, he looked up at you as he slowly dragged them down off your legs and laughed softly. 

“Wow.” he said, trying to hide his mix of arousal and curiosity, “You’re uh…you’re pretty into this, aren’t you?” He laughed as he tossed your underwear to the floor. 

“Mhmm,” You smirked at him as you guided his hand, his fingers gently brushing against your folds, feeling your arousal as it began to gather on you. 

“Shit,” Bob laughed softly as he shook his head, “This is where I start to not know what I’m doing.” He gave you an apologetic look.

“Everyone has a first time, Bob, I’ll show you what to do,” You smiled reassuringly at him as you continued to guide his hand along your core. He smirked as his wandering hand found your clit, two of his fingers pressing against the sensitive nub as he discovered it. The sound that fell from your lips was almost enough to make Bob lose all self-control on the spot. He arched his eyebrow at you as he continued to gently draw circles on it with his finger. 

“Y-you can use your mouth there too,” you nodded, trying your best to think clearly as he pleasured you.

Bob bit his lip gently as he positioned himself between your legs. He took his glasses off and sat them beside your leg as he ducked his head down in between your legs. He gently pressed soft kisses to your folds, his tongue carefully lapping up your wet arousal as he kissed at you. You let out a loud moan as Bob’s lips made contact, but before he could lift his head up to see if you were ok, your hand was grabbing a handful of his sandy blonde hair, pulling his head into you gently to tell him to keep going.

Taking the hint, Bob continued to leave soft kisses on you, grinning as he heard you moan out. 

“Feels s’good, honey, keep doing that,” You encouraged as he began using his lips to suck at your sensitive clit, your hips bucking upwards against his mouth, your body craving being as close to him as humanly possible.

Your compliment to Bob’s skill turned something on in him, and suddenly, he began moving his lips in the same rhythm but with more passion, like he’d just discovered his God-given talent on this earth was using his mouth to pleasure you into oblivion. As you reached your boiling point, Bob continued to lap his tongue at you, his lips sucking on your clit as you rode it out. He pulled his mouth away from you before pulling his t-shirt over his head. He wiped his mouth on his shirt before discarding it to the floor and working to unbuckle his belt before dropping his shorts to the ground. His boxers were tenting with arousal as he looked down at you, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. 

“Do you…do we need anything?” He asked as he tried build up the confidence to do what he was about to.

“I’m clean and on the pill,” You nodded your head and laughed softly, “So you’re good.”

“Right,” Bob chuckled softly as he nodded his head before peeling his boxer briefs down off his body. 

Bob stroked his length before lining his hips up with yours. He took a deep breath and looked to you for an indication that you were ready, that you were sure you wanted to go through with this. As you flitted your gaze to him, biting your lip as you sized him up, you couldn’t help but let out a nervous chuckle. Bob looked at you, somewhat mortified as his eyes widened.

“What? What is it?”

“Nothing, you’re just…bigger than I’d pictured, if you get me. You might need to take a pause once you get started so I can adjust to you, mkay?”

“Gotcha, don’t worry darlin’,” Bob nodded knowingly and laughed as he ran a hand through his hair. 

You let out a sharp exhale as Bob lined his hips up with yours and gently pushed himself into you. As promised, he paused for you to adjust to his size, waiting for you to tell him you were ready for him to start. Once he heard you give the ok, he began thrusting his hips in and out of you, a deep grunt escaping his lips as he felt your body tighten around him, your arousal dripping from you and onto his cock. 

“Fuck,” Bob groaned as he thrusted deeper into you, finding his rhythm, “You feel so good, darlin’.”

“Keep going, baby,” you purred at him, encouraging him to continue before throwing your head back in ecstasy, moaning his name loudly.

Bob felt your walls clenching against him, gripping his erection tightly as he pumped himself in and out of your body. He felt as you arched your back against the bed, bucking your hips upwards into his thrusts as you came close to your climax again. He groaned loudly in pleasure as his thrusts became sloppier and more frantic.

“Fuck, darlin’, I’m so close,” He hissed as he let out another flurry of sinful sounding moans and grunts as he came.

The two of you sighed in unison as you rode your pleasure out together. Bob panted as he pulled himself out of you, his cheeks red from breathlessness as he tried to compose himself. He hovered over you, a smirk forming on his lips as he leaned down to kiss you. You pressed your lips to his passionately, moaning softly against them as your overstimulated body struggled between wanting more from him, and wanting to take a break.

“How was I for my first time then?” He grinned at you. 

“I never would have believed you if you told me that was your first time after we’d done it. I also don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before this either.”

Bob smirked as he laid himself down beside you in bed, putting his glasses back on.

“Well, apparently I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I?

[northgazaupdates]

Important blog update

I do not want to make this post, I have been putting it off for months in hopes that I could make things work. However, I no longer feel I can work at my current pace, and I need to make the hard decision before I fall apart completely.

Due to my ongoing health problems and numerous personal issues in my life, I need to step back from this blog.

I will not abandon this blog, I will still share and update posts when I can. My activity will just be less frequent, and I will have to limit my activity according to my health status.

However, I cannot make posts for any new campaigns. I will keep supporting the campaigns I am already assisting to the best of my ability, but I absolutely cannot take on any more.

Further details below

I try to avoid talking about myself as much as possible, as the focus of this blog is and will always be the people of north Gaza and all of Gaza. However, I want to be clear that I did not make this decision lightly. I have agonized over it for months, and I am only taking this step because I feel like I am about to go over the edge.

There are numerous factors influencing my decision:

My chronic illness(es) getting worse

The amount of time I spend every day making, researching, editing, updating, and sharing posts is making my family feel like I am neglecting them

My grandmother is in the hospital and my mother and I are the only members of our family taking care of her, despite my mother having many siblings, who demand frequent updates

I am falling behind in my studies

I still have not found a full-time job

My bank account balance is low and I am in danger of incurring high overdraft fees

I am dealing with conflicts at home and in my personal life

I am struggling to cope with severe depression

I am also suffering chest pains and breathing problems in addition to my diagnosed conditions.

I am sick, exhausted, and stressed to the point of near-collapse. I have tried to push myself as much as possible, but if I continue working at this pace, I will give out. I will not be any help to anyone if I have to be hospitalized.

Again, I am not leaving completely. I am only decreasing the amount and types of activities in which I will be engaged.

I am deeply sorry. I wish it had not come to this, and that I could keep taking on new campaigns and making frequent posts. But I need to limit myself while I am still capable of being some use.

My deepest apologies,

-NGU mod

Palestine will be free🇵🇸

[jccatstudios]

HULLO!!! let me just say. it is absolutely INSANE what youre doing with this comic adaptation project. guys read it highly recommend 1000/10. everything is so gorgeous, so brilliantly adapted from the book into a visual medium, so full of those little touches that only a comic can really add to a story, that i am amazed beyond words every single time you post a page update. and i just think like ??? how wonderfully blessed is the soc fandom to have someone in it who is so dedicated to such an extensive project ?? the love and effort youve put into it really makes it shine and i find it extremely impressive. anyway may i ask what is/are the main thing(s) keeping you motivated to continue working toward your goal of finishing x pages? how do you you overcome lack of motivation? i know its kind of a question everyone has but im interested in hearing your thoughts 🫠

Wow, thank you very much!!! So glad you appreciate the comic. I'm really happy that this project has been received so positively over the past few years. It's always nice to hear that my fellow SoC fans think that the work I do encapsulates the story we love.

To start off, this project has several motivations behind it:

I've always been a very self-motivated person when it comes to my ambitions. While making comics has always been something I enjoy, at this point, it has evolved into something habitual. I can't do it every day due to other engagements, but I am always doing something related to comics. It comes to a point where I even get antsy if I haven't made something in a while. Making comics a habitual practice helps keep motivated since I don't have to put any effort into starting my work anymore.

As a soon-to-graduate senior in college, I know that making it as a comics professional can be an uphill battle. To me, becoming a comic author is a high-reward career, so it comes with a lot more risk. If I want to achieve my goals, I have to work at my craft faster and more frequently than my peers. This comic started off as a way to get more practice outside of school. While it may not be completely accurate, it is said that comics mastery takes 1000 pages. It motivates me to know that every page I finish, regardless if I'm happy with the final product or not, brings me closer to that ideal of mastery. I'd say I'm around the 500–600 page mark, so there's lots more to do!

Lastly (and I think this might be the most important one), I love this story. My motivation behind each page comes from the fact that I want more people to read it. There are so many people out there who would love SoC, and I think that untapped audience lies in people who love comics. Most of you here are already fans of the book, and I always want to create something that existing fans appreciate, but the true endgame is to make new SoC fans out of this comic.

As for overcoming lack of motivation, I don't think I have any good advice for that. I try to keep a "just do it" attitude about my work, but even I struggle with staying motivated to do normal life stuff. I guess the best thing to do is find something small that makes the task more enjoyable. Listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks/videos or making myself a nice drink are my go-tos for encouraging myself. Like many people, I also read Atomic Habits recently, so I find myself saying "I'm the type of person who does (insert activity I don't want to do but I should)." Funny enough, that seems to do the trick to push me through many daunting tasks.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

When you think about Raven and when you look at and remember other people’s Yuusonas, when does it feel too much or is there a line for Yuusonas? Because sometimes I look at my own Yuusonas and feel that I am doing to much for him. Like what he can do, what he likes, his lore. I shame myself that I am doing too much but it feels right.

I was surprised when I learned that (Ms./Miss/Mrs.?) Raven was similar to my own Yuusona, Maeve. The biggest that I did was made him related to Crowley,being able to use magic and fight, and I already feel like I crossed some line. It fits on how I see his story play out and I don’t want to overhaul him.

I just vented a bit, I’m sorry about that. What I’m trying to ask is that what do you do if you start to feel that your character becomes too much? Because for me, I want to brain dump and put out every little detail about Maeve to people and get feedback from other people. Outside of the one person I can actually talk to about Twisted Wonderland.

It sounds to me like you’re tackling two different things here? 😅 Both are related to OCs, but one seems to be focused on activity/frequency of content and the other one seems to be focused on originality or how one's OCs compares to others.

Before I address both points, I'd like to clarify that while many people OCs in the Twst fandom are Yuusonas, it's not the case for every OC. "Yuusona" refers to a character made as a stand-in for Yuu, oftentimes acting as a self-insert or a "better version" of the creator. However, characters that aren't stand-ins for Yuu by definition are not Yuusonas. Residents and NRC students hailing from Twisted Wonderland, for example, are OCs, but NOT Yuusonas (since Yuus are generally magicless and/or transmigrated from another world). In other words, Yuusonas are OCs, but OCs are not Yuusonas. By these measures, my own Twst character (Miss Raven) is an OC but NOT a Yuusona.

To your first point: it depends on the individual. Every person has their own threshold for when they’ve shared their creative works “enough”. For example, there are entire blogs dedicated to just posting about a Twst OC, whereas I scarcely post about my OC unless I am asked about her. I know people who only indulge in their ship, while I prefer to build extensive lore for my character beyond the initial ship. Some people are just shier than others and keep their stuff private, some people are more outgoing and want to be publicly active. That’s a metric you need to gauge and set for yourself, because 2) no one else knows you like you know yourself and 2) again, everyone’s comfort level with this varies.

I noticed that you mentioned not just one’s own creations, but also “[looking] at and “[remembering] other people’s Yuusonas”. This phrasing makes it sound as though you may be in the habit of comparing your work to others’ work, and I’m always going to be of the mindset that this is a mistake. Comparison in certain instances is fine (maybe you like someone’s art style or writing technique)—but becoming fixated on what others are doing is the start of a slippery slope. You may then set arbitrary standards to meet or try to use other people’s posting schedules as a yardstick to “judge” your own performance. This can feed into a viscously unhealthy cycle. “I’m not doing the same amount as X”, “I’m doing more than X”, “X has more engagement than I do”, “I have more engagement than X”, etc. It’s setting yourself up to be in a constant competition, and there’s no winning with a game that doesn’t end.

You should do whatever you think is most fitting for yourself. If it “feels right” to you, then go for it. Find ways to push past the shame and the little voice that tells you “that’s cringe”. Whatever others are doing is the pace they’ve set for their own comfort, and you shouldn’t let what other people are doing dictate your own actions. Remember that making and playing with OCs is, first and foremost, self-indulgent—so put yourself first and have fun with it!!

To your second point: there is no such thing as an original idea. I certainly am not the first to have an OC that is Crowley’s relative or the first to give their OC magic. However, even if I was somehow the pioneer of these things, that does not grant me the exclusive rights or the trademark for them 😭

Two separate people could come up with similar traits for their OCs by pure coincidence; you’ll find tons of overlap in any fandom, especially in Twst if you find two characters twisted from the same Disney inspiration. So long as there wasn’t blatant art theft, plagiarism, tracing, malicious intent, etc. there’s no issue if your OC is similar to another person’s OC 🤷‍♀️

No line was crossed. You don’t need to overhaul anything. And again, you shouldn’t worry about what other people are doing; it has no bearing on what you’re doing. Think of the fandom like a massive sandbox. Everyone has their own little slice in it and has their own toys to play with. There’s no need for anyone to step into someone else’s slice of the sandbox or to worry about the toys someone else has or what they’re doing with those toys. You have your own toys that you made and are happy playing with, so just stick to your slice of the sandbox! As long as you’re having fun and not hurting anyone or imposing yourself on them, it’s fine.

Last thing I have to say is 💦 while I 100% understand being eager to share and chat about your creations, it’s… unfortunately not a guarantee? Validation is nice, but not necessary, and no one is for certain going to engage with the posts they come across. We have to learn to be accept that and carry on. Maybe it would be good to start small or just focus on sharing with a group of friends to build confidence first? It’s much easier to interact with familiar faces than the entirety of the internet. This is what I tend to do when I want to get feedback on big ideas or projects I have.

I hope that you find this advice helpful ^^ Good luck with your creations!

[morteraphan]

Hello, Forgive me for this sudden question, I hope it is appropriate. I think you might have some experience.

Straight to the point, I would like to know how you (how to) grow a presence online as an artist. The algorithm is really bad in this era, and it's hard to get someone to see your work if you are a nobody.

I have been on social media for 5 years and tried all the methods I could. everything. I could. At one point got so desperate for attention started clout chasing for an audience, which ended up regretting and deleting an account with 9k random people. It is impossible to grow an art account by just posting. And I personally don't think engaging with others is a good way now, the art community used to be nice, but now people are all just so... different.

When I am drawing alone, I enjoy the process, and I want to show my art to others. I don't have people to share in real life, so social media is the only option. Yet ironically because of the algorithm mostly (and my very unlucky fortune), I don't have anyone to see my art. Literally no one. ( maybe only that one/two guys, which I'm grateful) I am just so tired of trying and failing again.

Sometimes when I see artists get all the attention and support, I can't help but feel jealous. Especially those who live on their ocs and can get people to engage with their oc universe. I envy them because I want to share mine as well. I don't crave much and don't need a thousand people, I just want my work to be seen and make myself feel worthy. It's true they say 'Don't care about popularity do art for yourself' but it's hard.

It has been a vicious cycle, and it has seriously affected my mental health. I used to be a super active artist, yet now I realise I don't like drawing that much anymore. I don't enjoy the only hobby I like, drawing. Because I know no matter how much effort I put into the artwork, no one is going to see it. Even though I like to draw, I can't bring up /finish larger works like I used to. When I think about drawing, it feels like a chore without a reward (external validation).

What I think upset me the most, is when someone managed to see my work on social media, they only spam likes and not follow... ? Because I only have like 10 followers. I don't know how to react anymore.

I have a dream to become a comic artist. I am afraid no one will see my work because I am not a well-known artist. I am so disappointed about everything. I just wish there was someone who could truly appreciate my efforts, and support my work so I may feel I have a purpose to keep on creating.

I am so sorry this turned out to be a long vent, I never told anyone before, I hope someone can hear my inner thoughts as an artist struggling to survive. 🙏

Uh, anon, I'm so sorry to read this. I understand what you're saying and I agree that the internet is a very cruel place for artists right now. Too much competition, algorithms that make it impossible to get seen, AI crap, etc.

Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of person who can tell you how to be successful. I have always been very bad at it myself. I have been posting for over 15 years - and only now have I started to interest more people in my characters (and still, I regularly see artists who are much more successful than me, and who are 10-15 years younger than me). Probably, my first success was the designs of anthro characters, but even when I returned to drawing people, I lost a lot - followers, patrons, mutuals. Of course, I don't complain and am very grateful for what I have. And I'm grateful to those people who support my work. It's just that I'm really not the kind of person who makes successful decisions in my own promotion.

From what I can see, people like fanart, fandoms, some crossovers, DnD. I don't suggest drawing what you don't like - because this will only lead to burnout. But maybe if you find some interesting niche for yourself, you will be able to find people with similar interests and start building your social circle. It's sad that there are no art forums left now, because it was a cool thing. Sometimes I even think about starting my own little forum lol. But still, there are places like Bluesky where artists are now building a new community and helping each other in promotion.

If you want to draw comics - start right now! Draw comics, use hashtags, use all available platforms. Don't try to think of something global, start with something simple and something that will bring you joy. People like comics because they often help to reveal the character better than illustrations. For example, drawing silly little strips really helped me, I started them as a rough sketch after a migraine, and now it is one of the pillars of my art.

Anyway, sorry if this didn't help you at all and my message was useless. I myself am a person with burnout and a very gloomy outlook on the future, and I'm learning to love drawing again like before. I wish you success in your art and don't lose heart - sometimes the path can be very difficult and long, but if you do something for the soul, in the end it will bring results. ❤️

[macgyvermedical]

In regards to mental health and routines post, do you have any suggestions on how to start increasing those habits. This last year, I've been having similar issues and I know I need to work on doing my hygiene routine more, but am struggling to start. Do you have any advice? Please and thank you!

Maybe.

So I'll start by saying that I am not working for money due to mental health problems at this time. This makes it so my spoon allotment is skewed in my favor when it comes to personal care. If I were working, my personal care progress would be a lot slower going.

Also, my experience with personal care problems are a result of living with schizoaffective disorder. Some of the things I do might resonate, some might not. Your Mileage May Vary, and all that. That's why I'm saying "I do a thing" instead of "you should do a thing" with the language in this post.

Next, I honestly don't love the term "habit" because it implies that eventually after doing something for a long time it becomes easy. Might be a thing. Personally I've never experienced it. I have the same resistance to showering I had 4 years ago when I stopped doing it more than about once a week. But now I just have the spoons to trick myself into doing it every other day.

So on to some things I do that might help:

I fill up my day as much as possible. I try for lower spoons activities that have some kind of imposed structure. This gives the personal care a specific place in my day, and gives me a reason to do the personal care if the activity is around other people. Some ideas:

Clubhouse International. Many cities in the US and Europe (as well as some other places) have an in-person chapter of Clubhouse. Clubhouse is a free work-ordered day program, which means it provides a low-stress, workplace-like environment to go to every day.

Volunteering

Free online courses such as those offered by Harvard. These can be up to a semester long and are paced from 2-20 hours of work a week.

I think about things in terms of problem solving. I don't plan to take a shower every day. But I do plan to get up and ask myself if my hair is uncomfortably greasy (I can find an uncomfortable problem like this for just about every personal care action). If I decide yes (which happens every other day about), I then get to problem solve.

Problem solving here is an exciting alternative to just planning to shower every day whether I need to or not. I get to come up with a solution (which might be a shower, or it might be a baseball cap, or it might be a quick wash in the sink (I have short hair)).

Then, and here is the key part, no planning ahead. I have to do the solution right then before I can think about it too much. Or I have to wait until I forget it and then remember it again, which is not as reliable.

I figure out when I naturally want to do a thing. This has been particularly helpful in working out. Turns out, working out in the morning is not for me. I'd rather not get out of bed at all than get up and work out.

But after dinner? When I have all that nice energy from all the glucose available to my muscle cells? I feel a lot better about working out. Plus, I usually don't have as much to do at that time.

This just makes it easier to say "yes" to a workout. I still have to sneak up on myself by planting workout supplies (shorts, a yoga mat, and a gallon milk jug filled with water I use as a weight) and knowing what workout I'm going to do ahead of time (it's the same one every day until I get bored or it gets too easy).

I track my "streaks". I have a calendar with a key that has different symbols for each personal care task. I have brushed my teeth at least once per day for the last 58 days. I have averaged showering every other day in that time. The last three weeks? I've averaged 5 workouts a week.

The more I have put in, the less I want to screw things up. Sometimes I get out of bed after laying down at night to brush my teeth just to keep the streak going, but it's better than not brushing at all.

I compromise. I used to think if I wasn't doing a thing the best way possible, I shouldn't do it at all. But here's the secret: something is genuinely better than nothing. I often have to compromise with my brain "I'll only do half the workout" or "I'll wash my hair instead of showering". And you know what? At the end of the day I got more personal care done than if I didn't compromise.

The ability to do things also just naturally waxes and wanes. Sometimes compromising keeps things going through the tougher times. Keeping track of things like when I'm compromising a lot helps me help make decisions about my care.

I hope this was helpful!

[cupsofcoffeestains]

shifting vent/potential motivation??

hey gang-

tw: minor mention of dissociation

so ive been making some positive developments in my shifting journey, and I hate to say it, but things really are starting to "click"

I always hate seeing those videos/posts from experienced shifters being like "i cant explain my mindset change, it just started to click" but now im eating my hatred and realizing what these people were talking about.

unfortunately, i do not have the words to fully explain what i mean but dw im gonna try.

For me, mindset shifts and my shifting journey advancing has kind of been like growing up, or maturing. You know how you see all those videos on tt saying "me when i wake up on a random tuesday and realize my frontal lobes are developing" etc. that (for me, at least) has kinda been similar to my shifting journey.

What this has looked like for me, as someone who has been trying to successfully make it to my dr since 2020, was being less angry with myself, with the universe, with others in the shifting community for my not shifting. It has come with time. Again, it has come with so so much time spent growing as a person, growing spiritually, and growing as a shifter. Taking breaks, learning to appreciate my reality (i know this is a privilege, to actually enjoy my life in my home reality/my cr) but learning to appreciate what is good even amongst all the bad that is and could be happening. As someone who struggled in the beginning of my journey, actively disassociating and basically working against what my body and mind actually needed.

Shifting can look different for everyone, and thats why ive decided to post about my mindset a little more. Sometimes its hard for me to find people who have spent so much time shifting and are still optimistic about their journey, so i guess this is me putting in my little shiftblr application to be that person for anyone who this might benefit.

also, just a last little note, for those of you who do not have anyone to talk to about shifting, who aren't making shifting friends online or in person, writing out about your journey on a blog like this can be so helpful. For me, I am a solo shifter (through circumstance and just the fact that I cant upkeep friendships online, only moots), and writing on this blog has helped me feel like people are hearing me (even if no one interacts with this). Just knowing my thoughts are somewhere other than my head and my private journal has made me feel less alone in my journey, and i highly encourage that if this resonated with you to try blogging. keep it anonymous if you're nervous! pretty sure none of my profile is accurate to who i am irl, and that has really helped me let stuff out about shifting.

anyways, i hope this post was helpful! much love to all my shifters, especially those of us who have been here for what feels like forever <3

[xonyxox]

Intro and Important Info ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

(read before interacting!)

I go by Nyx here ♡ ︎I’m generally very horny all the time, so I decided to start posting so I have somewhere to put all the thoughts that float around in my brain, and maybe you to share them with! New account, not new user (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

my blog will be strictly 18+, so please act accordingly. no minors, blank blogs, married, terfs, homophobes, transphobes, etc.

About me જ⁀➴ ♡

I’m part of many fandoms, including (but not limited to) Arcane, Avatar (and Korra!! put respect on my girl’s name), Spiderverse, Star Wars, Marvel, Interview with a Vampire, etc. My likes will also probably be flooded with fanfics/fanart lol

I also love reading, painting (though it’s been a while), writing. Anything creative to pass the time. Always need music, of course

Speaking of music! I love most genres. I listen to anything from today’s pop, to punk, punk/rock, 50’s-60’s music, to dad rock, 70’s-80’s music, midwestern emo… so yes, a little bit of everything. However, it’s somehow not enough, and I’m always looking for more

Bisexual, but (unfortunately) leaning towards men

Red is my favorite color ❤️

Will probably be posting mostly nsfw since that’s what I made this for, but will have other content as well

Whatever comes up in my head and on my feed. I’ve abandoned personal blog. Fuck it, let freak and neat meet 🙂‍↕️

NSFW જ⁀➴ ♡

Mainly sub, but with dom tendencies. Depends how I feel that day

I’m down for anything sweet and vanilla, as well as anything a bit more intense

Love, love, loveee myself some praise, maybe a bit of degradation mixed in ❤️‍🔥

(good girl, pretty girl, good slut, little whore, etc.)

Size kink (5 feet to be exact)

Preference for older men. Yes, I have daddy issues (selective daddy kink)

LIGHT choking

Breeding (but not the pregnancy part,, no kids for me)

+ cockwarming mmmmhm

Biting? But not always in an NSFW way. Will sometimes bite out of no where, sometimes wanna mark you up all over

Will just lick and suck on ur chest all day idc. Let me drool all over

Always horny when intoxicated (weed and alc 😋)

Can’t think of much else on the spot, but otherwise peek at the blog!

Will probably be using “dick”/“cock” in text posts but this does not exclude straps/toys ! Just want something inside me :p

Hard no’s જ⁀➴ ♡

P*ss, scat

Feet

Pet play

Drugged, r*pe, kidnapped, assault, etc

Inc*st/fauxcest

Age play

“Kid”, “kiddo”, “dad”, etc.

If you DM, don’t be kinky right away. I will block your ass. (someone literally opened with “hey bitch” …yeah guess what happened) I’m expressive on here but I’m also a normal human being, not a sex bot

Anything similar/following these paths

Tags જ⁀➴ ♡

I’ll try to stay mostly organized on here, mostly for my own sanity :P Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with these lol and update when needed

horny thought dumps- #nyxthots❤️‍🔥

general thought dumps- #nyxthinx💭

im obsessed with romantic cannibalism okay- #nyxnoms🫀

photo dumps (probably most/all from pinterest)- #nyxpix📷

music n such- #nyxnotes🎵

other, non-nsfw things- #nyxxtra

Asks & DM’s જ⁀➴ ♡

I do have a life outside of Tumblr and have notifs off, so I may not be active much other than posting in bursts late at night (in the US. Unfortunate, ik)

DMs and asks open

Do not send any unsolicited pics or media of any kind, I also will not send in return.

We can also just chat about anything, doesn’t need to be spicy! Just be kind and considerate, and I will reciprocate 🫶🏻

Also pls don’t open with just “Hey” 😭😭 where tf am I supposed to go with that. I also suck at holding convos so if u give me nothing to work with then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’ll probably be using queue to post sometimes, so even if there’s a recent one it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m active. I’ll also probably be posting mostly right before I go to sleep, so if you DM, be prepared to wait many hours until I respond.

I’ll try to keep this updated, but that’s all for now!

💋ྀིྀི,

N 🌙