#i am a whatever happens happens kind of girl
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‘Adore me, hold me and explore me’
Daisuke x Fem! Black! Anya’s intern! Reader
⚠️Warning!⚠️ : this has smut in it but I won’t say mdni because I am minor too
You were Anya’s intern. Helping her in every way you could! You weren’t the kind of girl to fall for people quickly so when you got on the tulpar you weren’t expecting much. It was just an internship….right? Wrong. The other intern on the ship, the mechanical intern…you knew him, but didn’t know from where. So, you were going to ask his name. There was no way he was who you thought he was. “Excuse me? Sir?” You tapped his shoulder and looked up at him playing with your braid “oh hey! Reader, long time no see, I’m kidding it’s been like 4 months, how are ya?” He asked, IT WAS HIM, your high school crush Daisuke was really on this ship with you, for the 382 days you would be in the same ship as him. That was a dream come true.you couldn’t wait to see what would happen!
It had been 3 months on the ship, everything was going great! You were talking to Swansea about Daisuke because you didn’t want to wake him up yet so you were waiting for him to wake up “sooooo Swansea, how’s I been working with Daisuke” you questioned wanting to know if he was a sweet as you remembered “good if he would shut up about you, he won’t stop taking about ‘how pretty you are’ or whatever” he replied. You would have been bright red if it were visible. You felt something you hadn’t felt since you had math right next to Daisuke, who would ‘accidentally’ grab your thigh mid class. That’s when you felt a pair of warm hands on your hips, Daisuke had come from behind you and hugged you “what are we talking about?” He asked with his usual smirk, go that smirk made you wet….Wait what? Was he making you horny on purpose?! It’s fine, but god damnit you wanted him to make you Juno, isn’t that a song? Whatever you didn’t want to think of anything other than Daisuke “nothing Daisu…” you giggled while playing with your braids. For once you wanted to get them messed up, as long it was because of him. You wanted him so bad… wait…you felt something on your back…..were you crazy? " daisu can we talk for a second.... outside?" you asked him like he was being demanded, did guys like that as much as some girls did? you didn't know but the question couldn't wait. "Daisuke do i make you hard or something?" you asked up front and strong, you knew he would probably deny it and be all rude about you even asking about tha- "yea. you kind of do..." in any other instance you would have blushed like crazy. But you were horny so you did something you would normally never do. You kissed him..hard. In the middle of the hallway and he pulled you into a nearby room. “Daisu….i need you” your reached to try and take off his shirt but he stopped you. “Wait…how long have you been waiting to do this?” he giggled with that stupid smirk, you loved it but it was still stupid . “a while now fuck me or I’ll do something stupid” you kissed him again you could feel how hard he was through his stupid pants, you just wanted them gone at this point. He started kissing down your body, he was trying to make sure that this was perfect for you, even if you were in a closet. He was playing with your ass as he kissed you, he wanted you badly “take your pants off” you demanded him. You wanted him to be rough but you wanted a little control “what?” “Take them off” “that’s so hot” that’s the last thing you heard before you felt him…he wasn’t being gentle at all ”fuck baby! Right there! YES! FUCK YEA!” you were already on the edge and you both knew it….thats when he pulled out, flipped you over and made you look at his cock, what you did to him. You were so excited you grabbed it and….licked it…was this reality? Were you dreaming? Or were you really giving your crush of 4 years head in a closet…? Yea, and you’d do it again “I want you to knock me up…I like myself and all but two would be better right?” You bent over and let him go at it. As he did so his hands were roaming you, exploring every inch of you. “Fuck I’m so close baby!~ “ at that moment, you both came. Panting and sweating, you were shaking and he was just chuckling and grabbing his pants “come to my room after dinner, we can cuddle and talk about what we are from now on” that was a offer you couldn’t resist, “okay see ya?” You said unsure “yea, I love you” he had said it. He said the L word. “I love you too, Daisuke “
#Spotify#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke x reader#smut#mouthwashing smut#daisuke smut#don’t like it#give feedback
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I used to see this person a lot in school because we were in the same year level. We even sat next to each other in one criminal law exam so I know she recognized me, too. Anyway, we saw each other outside school setting for the first time today (we went to the same work seminar) and I just know she recognized me even though we didn’t acknowledge that we went to school together for 2 years. She talked to me and it made me feel things I haven’t acknowledged in years. That I am in fact gay. I had a girlfriend once and back then I didn’t want to label my sexuality and I lost feelings for her eventually and I thought hey maybe it was a phase (?) and stuff? but now I am sure that it was not.
#I haven’t had a crush in years though#i just can’t stop thinking about that interaction!#i don’t have facebook so how am I supposed to find her??#going back to law school for a crush is obviously unhinged behavior so no#stupid tiny masc lesbians ruining my friday night ugh#she is so cute though#STOP IT#i’m not even sure saying I had a gay phase is ok#i don’t think about these things so much tbh#i have even forgotten it#i just don’t do labels#i am a whatever happens happens kind of girl
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day 169
this is it, the dynamic
#day 169#year 5#aradia megido#kanaya maryam#homestuck#arakan#based largely on their first pesterlog#kanaya is so. FUCKING condescending to her and its funny#actually edit: i added the link to the page just read it#kanaya being a lil shit is my favorite for her actually#and aradia being like 0h n0t this shit again#like its just so!!!!!!#funny but also like KIND OF GENUINELY MEAN FOR NO REASON fjdhjdhd#its LITERALLY just kanaya dropping into aradias dms to be like#Hey Bestie Just A Reminder That You Should Feel A Little Bit Guilty About Everything That Happens From Here On Out#Even Though It Is Basically Inevitable#Lucky For You Though I Am Going To Be Very Gracious And Clean Up After Whatever Dumb Shit You Are About To Pull With This Game#like GIRL WHAT IS UR DAMAGE FKDHSKHDGD im obsessed#i mean obviously she has some fucked up feelings internally about participating in a game that ends the world#i wonder if she feels guilty herself for letting aradia and sollux pull half the code from her set of frog ruins#like. maybe shes so guilt trippy about it because she wants to convince herself that all the blame can be put on aradia#and that if she voices her disapproval OF aradias actions then shes like. on record as being Right About The Situation#but ALSO if she is sooo magnanimous and forgiving about it then maybe nobody has to be punished for all of it (not even herself)#idk IDK. i just think its fascinating as a kanaya character moment especially as one of her earliest conversations
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I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story
#it's not that that isn't interesting (it's fascinating actually. especially for a daughter of aphrodite!!!)#it's that it Obviously wasn't his og intention. the ending of hoo is clearly intended to give a positive impression of jiper#this is worsened because shelper is wildly underdeveloped so it's like Dude what did you even do this for#literally just an afterthought. a footnote really. he said “ok here's your canon sapphic rep pls stop shipping theyna now” /j#she was a main character in one of the main couples in hoo it's so crazy? how can that happen. he would never do this to percabeth#can you imagine if percabeth broke up offscreen and 2 months later annabeth was with some complete rando and then percy died. girl what#it's the kind of setup/payoff issue that is difficult to put into words because he set up something (jiper and all its complex morality)#to ultimately be good because they're making the choice to love each other in the end (poorly executed but whatever I don't hate it)#and then in toa????? he just obliterates them for no payoff and creates a new impression of the most literal case of comphet imaginable? wh#toa is my absolute least favorite sorry#marginally related but if we can Be. Chill. and acknowledge that he originally wrote nico as crushing on annabeth#(we can argue all day about how Definite the crush was but come on. he did not put percy's speculation of it in there for no reason)#(and he obviously did not plan for nico to be gay back then you will literally never convince me of this)#(representation was NOT on his mind in the first 5 books that's why the cast is almost completely white except charles and ethan)#(the disposable poc who die tragically btw)#then I see a similarly confusing debacle but like. in the opposite way#something something sexuality is fluid you can be gay and feel confused about how u used to have a het crush but are still gay#nico says so himself to piper which is hilarious#it's just the lack of consistency and poor planning that I hate........... it is a ginormous pet peeve of mine and it's All Over His Books#piper already reads as having so much growing to do regarding her gender and sexuality because Somebody#(the man writing her) littered her pov with internalized misogyny/anti hyperfemininity and went nowhere with it#rr crit#percy jackson and the olympians#piper mclean#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#anti jiper#<- I PROMISE I am not actually anti-jiper I am very neutral about it as I am with all jason ships. they had cute moments#tagging that just in case#this comes from a place of deep love for the franchise and it's characters btw I have been a fan since I was 8
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weird things in the SATA book that I keep thinking about but I don't know what they are supposed to mean
Ann-Margret being perhaps the most Dolores Dei-like
Maj being an unplanned pregnancy that "deformed" Ann-Margret, how Charlotte says she wouldn't give the peaches of immortality to her yet because she is too young, her sisters not bringing her to take cherry speed or giving her alcohol, the girls buying only three meat piroshkis, seemingly leaving her out of some things, yet she disappeared too, how the only trait about her is that she is dressed as a fairy godmother/angel and sits on Tereesz's shoulders. The older sisters and their mom have some traits that resemble Dolores Dei (blond with green eyes, politician, peaches, freckles/birthmarks, references to ancient times, etc) but Maj only shares the blond hair and white clothes. like it feels like she is the odd one out. And she is the one who says that the time is going wrong.
#sacred and terrible air#ok new theory. Maj has supranatural skills and that's why the girls decided they wanted to disappear#like she can see the future or something#its not uncommon like Rodionov and Harry can do that too#or like Maj is the disruption of whatever weird pattern was going to happen#she literally has a magic wand with her and angel wings#im not saying she made them disappear lol but like these are not random things its probably written this way for a reason#there is some kind of symbolism going on#maybe its meant to reference the disappearance like its some magic trick. like Khan's commissar pen is a 'trick'#am i making any sense here#the girls wanted to disappear and one of them is dressed as a good fairy godmother#like the ones that make wishes come true
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WHOEVER THE FUCK IS RECOMMENDING MED PPL TO GO INTO RADIOLOGY JUST CUS IF THE MONEY, IM GONNA FUCKING gET YOU
#first i had ai dictacting schedules and now the radiologists just thought there was a AHHGGRHHH#YES. YES U CAN MAKE MONEY GOING INTO RADIOLOGY. BUT DO NO T. JU ST. GO INTO IT. for the MONEY#MEDICINE IS FKING PAIN BCS BUSINESS IS A PAIN & PPL ARE IN PAIN & PPL ARE A PAIN#like it is Very. ppl orientated it's FKING MEDICINE and even if ure a vet or whatever theres obvs usually humans attached fo animals#so like u might not always be dealing with the ppl but ur coworkers who are also being directly accounting#for the ppl SURE AS HELL DO#like yea ppl die all the time but ure telling me u dont gaf when u couldve done something to stop a LIFE#a HUMAN LIFE that was DEPENDING ON U just doing a like tiny action in the grand scheme of ur things#but ends up a major life changer to them even if they dont always have the knowledge to recognize it#and u let them die bcs of the money#i cant fcking STANDDDDDD IT ohmy GAWD.#also like radiology is not all that hunky dory like radiactive is part of the fking name like#UGHHHH LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE SCOLDING MY PTS WHY TF AM I SCOLDING MFS FOR MY PTS#anyways yea tho totally just join medicine for the money it's tofally not a massive damage to u n society#but also . fuck society for making ppl feel like they only have this choice or it's starvation bcs thats also so fking real fuc that#but bro at least try not to fuck ppl over once u gain a position just bcs u happened to be in a bad mood today like#medicine is Literally. horror. it's not that 'i watch pimple popping videos haha i can handle it' horror . it's literally.#the horror of treating humans like humans while never allowed to be one urself kind of horror#it's watching a little girl crying and a big bulky father weeping like a small child bcs his wife died#&then u step out the room and a pt throws his poop at u bcs he keeps lying to u abt not having any alcohol &wants to go home but has no ride#wants a million opiods and has been absolutely wailing at ur staff and if he leaves ama it docks u so now u gotta#peruse a bunch of legal documents to try and figure out a loophole on how to get him outta here while also dealing with 60 other pts#on the brink of death or intensely septic and the whole time ure trying to save them u got bitches screaming in ur ear abt the#north carolina fluid shortage like btch fuck that im giving this kid the shit they need to survive fuck off#especially funny bcs theres fluids available but we refuse to buy them bcs theyre for a higher price than our og supplier like ok#anyways#love my life
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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My hyper-specific type when it comes to otome guys:
- Absolutely pathetic - Cannot speak to a girl normally to save his life - Tries to be calm/aloof, but turns tsundere when flustered enough - A good and pure man at heart, yet does some questionable things - ...Little Red Riding Hood???
#heart fragment#taisho x alice#otome#doofenshmirtz voice: if i had a nickel for every time i fell in love with a video game guy heavily associated to little red riding hood...#..i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice!#i made this post basically as a way to announce i played heart fragment recently. and uh. it's REALLY GOOD#i probably do love clive the most (and i was immediately interested/biased considering his similarities to Red) but...#the rest of the cast is great too! I ADORE shannon and i am beyond ready to figure out what jasper's deal is#and honestly i'm into the mystery and the strained family relationship aspects too. just great writing all around even beyond the romances#this is one of Those Games that messes with you and the more you play it the more it sneaks new creepy stuff in#whatever the hell is going on with inigo in the dreams is unsettling. and i love it.#but seriously i'd recommend this to any otome fan and ESPECIALLY taiali fans considering the similarities go far beyond just this#you like fairy tales? you like exploring psychological issues and trauma? this is the game for you#also you can date guys AND girls which is a rare treat! again - i LOVE shannon. i just... love clive even more#but to be fair i think the hangup is that no matter what you're very close and friendly with shannon#so even if you don't romance her you still have a great relationship with her regardless#meanwhile with clive he's starting as a stranger and you basically have to be a jerk to him or blow him off which hurts my heart#and also clive seems to fall kind of fast and hard for you so the relationship developing in a romantic direction just feels. right IMO#i can accept being just besties with shannon (even though I definitely still love her romance outcomes)#but it pains me to spurn clive's affections#on an unrelated note i do intend to post my thoughts (basically a review) of winter's wish: spirits of edo#but i want to finish getting the sorrow endings for CGs and lore which means a second run through several routes
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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
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mutuals the degree to which i am in the psychic prison right now. like applying / interviewing for my own job a second year in a row is already a lot but i would really appreciate if some of the most traumatic elements of last summer could stop resurfacing themselves in new situations. that would be really nice
#i am trying SOOOOOO hard not to blow a gasket. but it’s so hard. i truly cannot handle this kind of situation. and there is NOTHING anyone#can do to comfort me out of it like i just have to put my big girl pants on and be normal and brave and alone. but it’s the worst most#miserable wretched torturous thing in the whole wide world. im trying to tell myself the worst case scenarios already happened and whatever#this is is probably nothing i haven’t thought of before and won’t be consequential or whatever and it’ll all be okay. but good god. it’s#just a lot. it’s just a LOT. i feel like a tattered leaf in a hurricane.#purrs
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the worst but also the best part about learning languages is when you reach the point where you are constantly aware that the people you talk to and the media you consume are all making cultural references that you simply do not get so all of a sudden you’re like goddamn it i need to read every piece of classic italian literature ever now
#one of the profs was telling me how her translation class decided that leopardi was 'emo' and i was like wow this would be so funny if i#knew literally anything about giacomo leopardi besides the fact that he supposedly ate a kilo and a half of confetti before dying#(thank you that one tumblr post)#but also the part of my brain that's like 'you need to consume those works In Italian' makes this difficult because i simply cannot do that#yet#arugujhakshjdhajahjfasjhfewkrjht#she speaks.l#this happened w spanish too but like. As i was taking a spanish literature class? so i already started to read stuff that's regularly#references & then just kind of continued to read stuff naturally#except sometimes i read literature from a specific country and i'm like sooooo i need to read all of your canonical writers now#reading mariana enriquez like oh so i need to read piglia reading piglia like oh so i need to read borges and arlt reading arlt like oh so#i need to read macedonio fernández#etc etc etc etc#well really reading borges --> fernández. whatever#aaaaaaaa. girls when the wealth of knowledge and literature within the world is overwhelming and wonderful but they will never get to know#it all :(#also this is like. the fact that there's so much just within spanish language literature. can u imagine the depth of also arabic literature#etc etc#i mean like i am sure you can. that was weird phrasing.#BECAUSE ALSO THEN IT'S LIKE. there is so much that is wonderful outside of the 'canon' of well known writers BUT I CAN'T READ IT ALL SO....
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if i could time travel back to august i would tell myself that it’s not worth it to submit my own script for consideration for this class and i would rather just work on someone else’s. i think i flew too close to the sun there. would quite literally rather be in the boy group than doing this shit rn i’m so over it and it hasn’t even started 😐 “we have to make the budget” “we have to get the documents ready to be printed” girl be so serious we have two months to fill out these fuckass forms. printed when. three weeks from now? you want me to wake up at 8am on a monday morning to meet you so we can spend 15 minutes filling in forms that we won’t be printing for at least 2 weeks. a task i could easily do on my own from the comfort of my couch. you want me to meet up with you so we can discuss the budget (of which there is none. we are paying for this ourselves) of things we haven’t even locked down. like what do you mean you want to talk about the budget. you want to talk about how much it would hypothetically cost to pay an actor we haven’t casted. what is this imaginary world she lives in where everything must be planned out perfectly. i know i’m starting to sound like the bad guy with my “we’ll figure it out as we go” philosophy but seriously girl the more you plan something like this the more it will inevitably go wrong. like she needs to relax before i fucking kill her
#THIS is REAL queer infighting. and it’s happening in my real life not online.#i think maybe she hates me because she perceives me as cishet with no mental illness#like she’s totally the type that’s so chronically online she thinks people who don’t look visibly queer or neurodivergent are magically#Normal and have never experienced a hardship#you know the kind of person. like i’m aware of what i look like i don’t look queer i don’t look alt emo goth whatever#i look like a girl who was maybe weird in middle school and grew up to be pretty and thinks mcu men are sexy#that’s what i look like. unfortunately#and i can tell that’s how she perceives me. and it pisses me off#and no i have done nothing to correct her perception#i already wrote a script about a girl with fucking problems. can you not extrapolate from that that i am insane.#i don’t sound nice here do i. i’m starting to sound like the bad guy i think. ok sorry. having a cady heron mathletes championship moment
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whatever happens i know that i'll choose to live/and that is something i know that you can't forgive
[two versions of the same digital illustration in a cartoon style.
1. Noah Kelly, a white woman with red hair in a vaguely goth outfit, is leaning against a brick wall and holding a cigarette. The whole image is in shades of pink, orange, and blue.
2. the same illustration but without the heavy lighting and effects, all the colors are more muted/end ID]
#mayo's art#death's errand girl#mayo's ocs#mayo's ocs noah#smoking#july 2023#clip studio paint#its the noah show all day everyday in my heart (shes like. my main oc and i am kind of obsessed with her)#caption is from whatever happens by mint green everyone go listen to it its. one of the noah songs ever#and also this specific line is ironic considering. *spoilers about her baclstory*
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ngl i’ve always known i was a pretty sensitive kid (and continue to remain fairly sensitive even now as an adult with marginally thicker skin) bc i for the most part have tried to be as earnest and genuine as i can which apparently just seems to come off to most people as appearing stupidly childish or naive but being on this site enough years to see the cycle of a swinging pendulum where certain kinds of mean spirited jokes get popular before the inevitable widespread backlash has made me realise no most of you people just get a kick out of being overly mean and cruel on purpose to feel superior to others
#x#sorry but i’ve kept my mouth shut on so many types of jokes that i privately thought were unnecessarily unkind bc it was the Popular Edgy#Humour at the time and i knew ppl would probably just see me as being childishly sensitive but it’s like. sorry some ppl just come off as#so fucking mean. that’s it idk how else to say it like that’s not my kind of humour whatever i get it#but clearly it isn’t everyone who participates in those jokes either if the inevitable 180s DO end up happening eventually#been saying it for years. sooo cliquey mean girls esque of this site#sorry. not saying i can’t be cruel or mean or unreasonable like i’m fully aware i make snide comments sometimes#but at least i know it and own up to being cruel when i am. can’t say that’s the same for every post i see abt the new Joke Of The Week#anyways. i complain abt this at least once a month LOL sorry if it sounds sanctimonious. i just do think it’s a Tiny bit. much. 🤷
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swear to god i'm just gonna stop watching the endings to shows i like. good shows need to get cancelled on cliffhangers forever
#sorry its just that this has happened like twice back to back for me here and im not really a tv show watcher so maybe other people are#better equipped to handle it and THIS ONE WAS STILL GOOD AND FUN except for the last scene. like the literal very last scene.#ridiculous in tone. like i genuinely don't know if they just ran out of time or what#they DEFINITELY ran out of money in the effects budget jesus christ. helloooo greenscreen. hello snapchat app facefilter#like the vfx are kind of hit or miss with this show but the practical effects always went HARD. and this very last scene#i cannot stress enough that this was the very last scene. they were SOOOO CLOSE <3#this last scene just looked so bad. AND IT WAS SO SILLLYYYYYYYY why sunglasses. why were the girls dressed straight out of MADELINEEEE#are there uniforms that actually look like that????#listen i thought it was going to be a BAIT AND SWTICH nightmare kind of thing.#because there was still so much time left in the video but it was just INTERVIEWS or whatever with the directors. DEVASTATING.#WHY DIDNT BEN COME WITH THEM. FUCK#sigh. pointedly not tagging the show name because i do love this show. is it perfect? nah im sure. but i DO love it#and i'm not interested in tearing it apart and reading other people do the same like i just did with The Other Show#like god i can't do that again. my heart can't take it.#david take those sunglasses off. please. for me.#I DIDN'T EVEN NEED CLOSURE ON THIS PLOT THREAD ITS FINE. THEY COULD HAVE ENDED ON THE SCENE BEFORE#i would have made do with that! or just a shot of some plane tickets on kristen's phone and some background noise#of the girls packing! something cute and sweet and implicationy like that we DID NOT NEED THE GREENSCREENNNNNNN#anyway even with what we do have I'm choosing to believe that ben was packing up his stuff and moving out there with them against his bette#judgement. like i know he said something about 'visiting' but he's rolling up his poster i can choose to believe what i want about that#i need to stop typing and thinking about it man i just realized he wasn't wearing his hat this whole episode. did his migraines go away#did i forget that from last episode. also while im complaining i WISH there was more lexis stuff this season she didn't get to be spooky#*capping my pen and throwing it across the room* but there was a lot of stuff i liked.#*gritting my teeth* im going to rewatch the season now.#or i'll just keep replaying the part where ben stumbles over the i love you. worth it just for that. because i am weak of spirit
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